1
00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:06,372
Okay, Joan, here's the thing.
2
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,207
It's the face
you were born with.
3
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:10,809
There's only so much you can do.
4
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:11,910
( sighs )
5
00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:14,313
Tell her about the law
of diminishing returns.
6
00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:16,281
It's actually
an economic principle.
7
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,416
It's not a law.
8
00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:18,950
Which states that
9
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,552
if one factor of
production is increased
10
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,388
while others
remain constant,
the overall returns
11
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,356
will relatively
decrease or diminish,
12
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:25,357
thus the term.
13
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:26,725
What I wanted was for you
14
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:29,061
to get her out of there,
not bore her into a coma.
15
00:00:31,098 --> 00:00:32,597
KEVIN:
Joan!
16
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,933
( sighing )
17
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:36,201
What's with the cards?
18
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,703
Polynomial flashcards
for the trimathlon meet.
19
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:39,704
I mean, calculus,
trigonometry
20
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:40,872
and the real bad boy--
21
00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:43,075
probability theorem.
22
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:44,743
Joan, I'm going to be late!
23
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,345
JOAN:
Why are you yelling at me?
24
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,149
Hello?
25
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,183
( knocks at door )
26
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:54,520
KEVIN:
Who's in the bathroom?
27
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,923
We've, uh, got no water.
28
00:00:57,991 --> 00:00:58,957
Why?
29
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,826
Because we've got no water.
30
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,429
( groans )
If you want
the technical explanation,
31
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:04,963
ask the plumber in our bathroom.
32
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,433
WILL:
Oh, no water anywhere
in the house, honey.
33
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,000
Plumber said not for
a couple of hours.
34
00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:10,602
I noticed.
35
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:11,937
Breakfast anyone?
36
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,005
KEVIN AND LUKE:
Hey, hey, hey, yo, hey!
37
00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:15,607
JOAN:
I need the mirror
more than you do.
38
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,209
I'm getting
my driver's license today.
39
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,643
Do you think I
should start shaving?
40
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:19,278
Let me see.
41
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,114
Nope.
42
00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,283
Hey. Hey, thank your boss
for that great editorial.
43
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,017
What editorial?
44
00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,652
Well, the one
that called me a racist.
45
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:30,021
I have heard you mention
that Asians drive badly.
46
00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:32,224
KEVIN:
The editorial didn't
call you a racist.
47
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:33,792
It called your policies racist.
48
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:34,826
So you're familiar with it.
49
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,562
Dad, my job is to verify
50
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,130
the facts for everything written
51
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:39,398
on the op-ed page,
52
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:40,932
and the facts check out.
53
00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:42,601
Now my son thinks I'm a racist?
54
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,136
Policies, Dad, not you.
55
00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:46,071
I'm not defending myself to you.
56
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,272
Me, either.
57
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:48,907
I'm not a racist.
58
00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:50,476
The facts checked out, Dad.
59
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:58,650
Harsh. Very harsh.
60
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,085
Facts don't lie.
61
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:04,189
Well, agreed, however,
the interpretation of facts...
62
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,524
( sighs )
63
00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:06,525
There's no water.
64
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:07,359
That's the rumor.
65
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:08,494
What about my hair?
66
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:09,261
Wear a hat.
67
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,429
Hats don't work on girls.
68
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:11,863
I have to talk
to that plumber.
69
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,035
Excuse me--
how long is it going
70
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,570
to take you to get us water?
71
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,539
Uh, how long is it
going to take you
72
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:21,740
to get your
driver's license?
73
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,176
What does that have
to do with anything?
74
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,512
Well, uh,
this is the, uh, fifth time
75
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,514
that you've made your driver's
test appointment.
76
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,516
And this will be
77
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:33,818
the fifth time you cancel,
and I want you not to do that.
78
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,121
I want to wash my hair.
79
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:38,457
Well, I'm God.
My needs come first.
80
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:41,160
So take the test.
81
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:42,894
You're in my house.
82
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,696
You've never come
to my house before.
83
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:45,730
Of course I have.
84
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:47,566
( sighs )
85
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,934
Okay. Look.
86
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:50,935
I'll take the test.
87
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,871
No big deal. That's fine.
88
00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:54,273
How long for the pipes?
89
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:57,643
I'm working on it, okay?
90
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,754
Oh, man.
91
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,617
Uncle Luke?
92
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:43,788
First of all,
Eminem's birthday
93
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,824
does not count as
a religious holiday,
94
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,093
and second, his birthday
was October 17,
95
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,828
so you have
to come to school.
96
00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:54,366
I need a maternal
dispensation.
97
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:55,867
For what?
98
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:56,835
To drink coffee.
99
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,136
Our agreement
100
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:00,305
was no coffee
until you could shave.
101
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:01,906
My trimathlon
is this afternoon.
102
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,174
Waiting for the relevance.
103
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:04,576
Caffeine is a
proven smart drug.
104
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,645
It opens up the vascular
system in the brain.
105
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,714
Mom, none of the other
competitors have to ask
106
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,349
their mom if they
can drink coffee.
107
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,718
Of course, most of them
are seniors who shave.
108
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,455
If I medal in this
trimathlon,
109
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:19,291
it's $30,000 towards
a scholarship at M.I.T.
110
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,659
Fine.
111
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,827
For 30 grand, drink coffee.
112
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,863
Plus, unlike most
of the competitors,
113
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,633
I'll need a ride home
from the event.
114
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:30,769
Won't the cheering crowd bear
you home upon their shoulders?
115
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,804
You're mocking.
116
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,072
God! Are you
all right?
117
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:34,939
Step off, weirdo.
118
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:37,643
Let go.
119
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,177
Just...
be careful.
120
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:42,648
What's with him?
121
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,983
He's the nice one
in the family.
122
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,818
And, no, you can't go home
123
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,887
just because
your hair looks funny.
124
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,990
Do you remember about
my driver's test at lunch?
125
00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:53,425
Is that today?
126
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:56,495
Oh, well, I'm not going to give
you an excuse to cancel.
127
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:58,196
I'll get Marlene
to cover for me.
128
00:04:58,265 --> 00:04:59,864
How funny does my hair look?
129
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,833
The hat is cute.
130
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:04,035
I'm never
going to get a boyfriend.
131
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:04,936
Yeah, I'm okay with that.
132
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,739
Next?
133
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,209
Okeydokey.
134
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,788
Did you read this?
135
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,356
Yeah.
136
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:27,025
"Chief Girardi's zero tolerance
for graffiti misdemeanors
137
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:28,527
"and moving violations
138
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:30,729
"is nothing more than
institutionalized
139
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:33,031
racism targeting the young
African-American male."
140
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:34,165
I read it.
141
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,635
Where are you going?
142
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:39,037
I'm speaking
at an elementary school.
143
00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:40,372
You going to show them your gun?
144
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:43,442
It'll be locked
in my glove compartment.
145
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,544
I don't want them
staring at my gun
146
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,813
and asking me
how many bad guys I've killed.
147
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,247
Chief...
148
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,383
this is a good policy.
149
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,821
Not that you asked.
150
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:58,990
According to my son,
the fact-checker,
151
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:01,159
we arrested 107 men
152
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,762
between the ages of
18 and 24 last month.
153
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,531
82 of them were either
black or Hispanic.
154
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,968
Tagging leads to gang wars,
gang wars mean drive-bys,
155
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:13,772
which definitely count
as moving violations.
156
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,241
Can I ask you something?
157
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:19,010
As an African-American?
158
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,479
As a cop.
159
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,013
Is that article
160
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:25,049
going to stop my guys on
the street from doing their job?
161
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:28,920
All they need to know is that
zero tolerance is zero tolerance
162
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,256
no matter what color
the perp behind the wheel.
163
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,157
Tell you what.
164
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,126
I will personally
bust a rich white guy today.
165
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:36,027
( chuckles )
166
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,396
I'll be back in an hour.
167
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:43,001
Helen?
168
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,870
Hmm?
169
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:48,206
You ran out of staples
about five minutes ago.
170
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,108
( chuckles )
171
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:53,344
I don't know what's
wrong with me today.
172
00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,547
Are you having
an affair?
173
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:56,748
No.
174
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,016
Is it Price?
175
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,785
You're covering up
pretending you hate him?
176
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,686
No.
177
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,222
I might be pregnant.
178
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:05,323
By Price?
179
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,859
Marlene, stop that
or I'll staple you.
180
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,595
So have you gone to the doctor?
181
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:11,996
I took a home
pregnancy test.
182
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,465
But how accurate
are they anyway?
183
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,400
About 99%.
184
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:18,470
The pill is only
about 90% effective,
185
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:19,905
which should be plenty
186
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,373
for a woman who's been
married as long as you have.
187
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,142
Oh, well,
you don't know my husband.
188
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,410
He's really...
189
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,546
Well, serves you right, then.
190
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,380
It sort of does.
191
00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:31,082
But don't say
anything to anyone.
192
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,651
Will doesn't even know yet.
193
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:34,052
Well, don't look so happy.
194
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,286
Remember having your last baby?
195
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:36,822
Yeah, of course, I do.
196
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,825
It's only...
15 years ago.
197
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,560
God.
198
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,495
Realization sinks in.
199
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,964
And you know what?
200
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:49,501
I'm not all that
great a mother.
201
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:50,702
You're hormonal.
202
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:52,103
Do your stapling.
203
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,646
Does my hair look funny?
204
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,548
Your hair always
looks funny.
205
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:04,749
( chuckling ):
Sometimes it just
206
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,451
pops in my head
and I laugh.
207
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,886
( laughing )
208
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:10,321
Adam!
209
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:21,366
He's never going to forgive me.
210
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,934
The dude has
a photographic memory.
211
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,069
Every time he thinks
he might forgive you,
212
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:27,706
the image of you
smashing his artwork
213
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:28,874
just pops
into his head.
214
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,109
Not that I've discussed
it with him.
215
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:59,137
( indistinct
radio transmission )
216
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,774
( horn honking,
tires screeching )
217
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,810
( siren wailing )
218
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,979
Dispatch, L-100.
219
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,948
( over radio ):
Chief Girardi, Dispatch.
220
00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:13,852
I need a 10-28,
older model Mercedes.
221
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:17,221
Java-Rocket-Lucky 1-Adam-9.
222
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,857
10-12, Chief.
223
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:23,327
Four-door, '89 Mercedes 420 SEL
registered to Donald Baker.
224
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,230
I'm pulling over
Judge Donald Baker?
225
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,833
Chief, if you decide
to let him go,
226
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,535
your secret's safe with me.
227
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:35,974
Zero tolerance, Dispatch. Over.
228
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,810
I rule Trig the way
Britney rules Justin.
229
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,378
Silver's mine,
unless that albino kid
230
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,246
from Blakelock edges me out.
231
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,115
He'll take the gold in
Calculus, don't worry.
232
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,451
So, it all comes down
to probability theorem.
233
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,252
Dude, no studying
for that.
234
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,589
It's all about how fast
you are on your feet.
235
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:53,058
FRIEDMAN:
Hit the caffeine.
That's my advice.
236
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,597
FRIEDMAN:
You are so fixating
on that Marge.
237
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:00,966
I'm not fixating on her.
I'm fixating on Adam Rove.
238
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,300
Natural next step,
my gay friend.
239
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:04,435
I got to talk to him
for my sister.
240
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:06,671
Dude, you are
trimathloning.
241
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,439
Splitting your focus
is bad tactics.
242
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:09,975
Plus,
do you even
243
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,911
speak be-bop, be-bop
spaceman language?
244
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,085
Sorry about this, Your Honor.
245
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,159
I'm gonna tell you
everything just once.
246
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:29,761
Get behind the wheel.
247
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,429
That was your last freebie.
248
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:36,501
All right, buckle up.
249
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,870
You don't want
to get pulled over.
250
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,404
( chuckling )
251
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,843
Let's vamoose.
252
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,711
Where to?
253
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,713
Oz, Neverland.
254
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:50,915
I'll decide when
we get there. Let's go.
255
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,751
( car starting )
256
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:05,964
How was breakfast
this morning?
257
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,498
Tasty.
258
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:08,466
I meant with your father.
259
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:09,367
Testy.
260
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:12,470
I'm not comfortable
discussing it.
261
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:16,440
Fair enough.
262
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,277
It's just that I'm not usually
in a position
263
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,312
to hear the firsthand effects
264
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,947
of my editorials.
265
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,549
Well, no offense,
but you still aren't.
266
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:27,018
I have to think
of my family.
267
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,486
As long as it
268
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:29,387
doesn't affect your job.
269
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,290
You're a fact checker.
You have to be objective.
270
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,693
I checked the stats you gave me,
Rebecca.
271
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:35,827
I did my job.
272
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,328
Now, if you'll excuse me,
273
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,363
I have to find out
if an ostrich's eye
274
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,199
really is bigger than its brain
275
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,001
and if there's any word
that rhymes with silver.
276
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,216
Maybe you could point that
somewhere else?
277
00:11:58,284 --> 00:11:59,517
Ten and two, buddy.
278
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,586
Let me see
ten white knuckles.
279
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,192
So what'd you pull me
over for?
280
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,526
You ran a stop sign.
281
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:11,029
You're not a uniform.
282
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,064
I thought
you were somebody else.
283
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,699
Well, you got that right.
284
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,467
I am definitely somebody else.
285
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:17,501
"Will Girardi."
286
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,105
Chief of police!
287
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,239
Nice to meet you.
288
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:23,274
Great. I snagged me
the chief of police.
289
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,675
( chuckles )
290
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:27,278
13 bucks?!
291
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,446
I got a wife and kids.
292
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:29,714
Oh, that changes everything.
293
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:31,582
Wife and kids. There's
a free pass for that one.
294
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,852
I'm not begging
for mercy.
295
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,488
I'm explaining why I have
only 13 bucks in my wallet.
296
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,657
But I do advise you
to let me go.
297
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:40,759
Multiple choice:
298
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,827
A: I shoot you in the face
and let you go;
299
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,763
two: I shoot you in the heart
and let you go;
300
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:47,465
D: You shut up, you drive.
301
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:51,970
Hell, a full tank
and 13 bucks...
302
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:53,504
I'd pick "C."
303
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,106
Don't forget
about the "shut up" part.
304
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:06,017
Adam!
305
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:08,987
You know who I am?
306
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,690
Luke Girardi?
307
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:15,326
No. I know you
know my name.
308
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:18,096
Do you know what
we have in common?
309
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:22,100
Uh, we're in AP chem together
310
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:25,236
and... we're both guys.
311
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,205
Yes! Yes,
we're both males.
312
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,239
We're not females.
313
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,975
And, as such,
314
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,777
we find
females difficult.
315
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:33,978
Okay.
316
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,313
One girl in particular.
317
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,149
I'm Joan's brother.
318
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,918
I know.
319
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,288
I would like to speak
to you on her behalf.
320
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,557
Okay. You're not
going to help me
321
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,193
through this
at all, are you?
322
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,928
Through what?
323
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,595
Maybe it's none
of my business,
324
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,431
but I know what I know,
325
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:56,467
and I can't unknow it,
so I'm trying to help.
326
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,436
She smashed my art, man.
327
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:01,339
Joan is really sorry
about that, Adam,
328
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,208
but you gotta
get past it.
329
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,310
Why?
Because one
smashed sculpture
330
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:08,112
looks pretty small, given
other upcoming issues
331
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,748
you guys have
to face together.
332
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,116
What happened
happened, okay?
333
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,451
There's no taking it back.
334
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,520
She has to deal
with the fallout.
335
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,223
I'm out of her life, man.
336
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,164
HELEN:
"You must use low headlight
beams at night
337
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,766
"when following within blank
feet of the vehicle ahead:
338
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:32,203
A: 100, B: 200,
C: 300, D: 500?"
339
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:37,242
Joan?
340
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:40,544
I don't even want to
get my driver's license.
341
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,713
Then why are we here?
342
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:43,781
Exactly.
343
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:44,949
TESTER:
Joan Girardi?
344
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:46,784
Joan Girardi!
345
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:47,818
HELEN:
Yoo-hoo.
346
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,220
Present.
347
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:52,757
TESTER:
Come on, let's go.
348
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:56,761
( sighs )
349
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:58,363
Knock 'em dead, honey.
350
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:00,899
( keys jangling )
351
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,202
( siren wails in distance )
352
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:07,605
( cell phone rings )
353
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,407
Relax. It's called
a cell phone.
354
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:12,143
How long were you
in for anyway?
355
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,512
Who's Helen?
356
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,746
My wife.
357
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:18,516
Well, let's say howdy
to Helen.
358
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,750
Why?
359
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,352
Maybe she knows
if they're out
looking for ya, huh?
360
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,154
What's our phrase
of the day?
361
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,790
Good judgment.
362
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:26,857
Okay.
363
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:27,858
( phone beeps )
364
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,694
Hi, honey.
365
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,164
Joan is about
to take her driving test.
366
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,532
I thought you ought to know
367
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,801
in case you want to put
the police force on alert.
368
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,836
Thanks for the warning.
369
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:43,074
I need to talk to you
about something.
370
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,809
Now is not
a great time.
371
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:47,412
No, no. I need...
I need to see your face.
372
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,780
I need to see your face, too.
373
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:52,716
Was that a little bit romantic?
374
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:56,654
Best I can do
in my current situation.
375
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:58,189
Listen, I had a
little argument
376
00:15:58,258 --> 00:15:59,424
with Kevin
this morning...
377
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:00,325
You're through.
378
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,963
Will? Will!
379
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:06,730
( guffaws )
380
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,632
Can you hear me now?
381
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,707
Three years ago,
it was Bayes Theorem
382
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:19,277
as an intuitive definition
of conditional probability.
383
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,212
Then it was the extension
of joint probability
384
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,447
to three or more events.
385
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:23,848
Maximum likelihood.
Maximum likelihood.
386
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:25,850
Then last year,
covariance estimation
and error propagation.
387
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,785
Do you, do you see
the pattern?! Do you?
388
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:28,987
'Cause I do! Do you?
389
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:30,955
This year it'll be
Gaussian random errors.
390
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,156
I can so do that.
391
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,458
Why are you talking so fast?
392
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:34,792
Why are you listening so fast?
393
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:37,095
You're a nervous wreck!
394
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,330
It's, it's not about
the trimathlon.
395
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:40,531
You're going to choke, man.
396
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,200
You gotta find that cerebral...
397
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:43,034
My sister had sex
with Adam Rove.
398
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:43,834
What?
399
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:44,935
What?
400
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,038
Your sister did the big bang
with Rove?
401
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,506
Shut up! How do you know?
402
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:51,242
Does Rove even have all the
necessary... equipment?
403
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,743
Quit talking about it!
404
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:53,777
You brought it up.
405
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,746
I-I didn't mean to!
406
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:59,750
And you should hear what I'm not
telling you, okay, so shut up.
407
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:04,389
Let the caffeine just flow
through you. Don't fight it.
408
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:14,032
WOMAN ( over P.A. ):
Numbers 45 and 46
please go to window "D" line.
409
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,366
Don't worry
about it, honey.
410
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,834
Everybody fails it
the first time.
411
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,436
I didn't.
412
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:19,303
WOMAN:
Joan Girardi?
413
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:24,708
Congratulations, Joan.
414
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,544
I need your thumbprint.
415
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:30,114
This is a significant milestone
in your life.
416
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,116
You're apprehensive,
just like you were
417
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,617
when you got a training bra,
418
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,686
and that's good.
419
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,056
Driving is
a big responsibility.
420
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:40,425
Did, did you arrange
it so I'd pass?
421
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,760
Uh-uh. I don't interfere
in that way.
422
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:44,595
You passed fair and square.
423
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:47,398
Now, place your feet
on the footprints
424
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,400
and smile for the camera.
425
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:50,868
Oh, cam... uh, camera?
426
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,670
I'm having a bad hair day.
427
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:57,741
Now that you have your license,
I want you to use it... today.
428
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,546
What's the rush?
429
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:04,115
16 years I haven't driven,
and you know what,
430
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,416
it's been great,
so why today?
431
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,919
Your license will be ready
in five minutes. Next!
432
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:15,326
It's not so bad.
433
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:18,662
Mom, I look
like Coolio.
434
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:21,865
Well, Coolio,
you want to wheel
us back to school?
435
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,834
Maybe next time.
436
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:25,169
I see what's
happening.
437
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:27,305
Mom!
438
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,907
You know, when
we first took off
439
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:32,310
your training wheels,
you chipped your tooth.
440
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:34,912
Rollerblading,
you broke an arm.
441
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,681
Snowboarding, you
tore a groin muscle.
442
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,150
Are you saying
I'm a klutz?
443
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:41,051
I understand,
you're scared.
444
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:42,886
Having someone
in the family
445
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,655
who was hurt so badly
in a car accident,
446
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:47,125
well, it's...
it is a caution.
447
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:49,827
Sometimes I'm scared
to get in the car,
448
00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:53,931
but I do because
it's a necessary
part of life, so...
449
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,036
Maybe next time.
450
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:07,578
You on parole?
451
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:08,912
Look, this ain't a date.
452
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,281
We don't gotta conversate.
453
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,949
You drive.
I point the gun.
454
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:15,719
You got that
jailhouse stink.
455
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,388
How long you been out?
456
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,423
Did you even
make it a month?
457
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,424
( sharp groan )
458
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,159
( tires screeching )
459
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:22,960
( horn blaring )
460
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:24,629
Whoa! Watch the road there,
Chief.
461
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,264
We don't want to get
in an accident.
462
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,965
You broke my collarbone.
463
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,933
Nah, but I will
next time. 10 and 2!
464
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,303
I can't. My arm is numb.
465
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:35,005
Okay, okay.
You made your point.
466
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,176
( tires squealing )
467
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,550
Sorry, Marlene. M.V.A.
468
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:46,684
There's someone here to see you.
469
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:58,629
Oh, no.
470
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,699
No! No!
471
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:26,924
Hey, tell me some more
fairy tales about "objective."
472
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:28,425
Kevin...
I went into the stacks
473
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:30,160
to find the statistics
you didn't use.
474
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,663
Eight fewer gang-related deaths
throughout the county?
475
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:33,497
You have to go home.
476
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:34,598
You said there was nothing
477
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,066
to support
the police chief's policies.
478
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:37,167
What are these?
479
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,435
You just chose
not to see them
480
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,170
so you could smear my father?
481
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,939
Kevin, your father is missing.
482
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:45,809
What's that mean, "missing"?
483
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,210
He may have been
taken hostage.
484
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:48,913
The city desk heard it
over the police scanner.
485
00:20:51,216 --> 00:20:52,449
Does my mother know?
486
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:54,418
They've taken her home
in case there's a call.
487
00:20:57,122 --> 00:20:58,022
I have to go.
488
00:21:03,228 --> 00:21:04,795
( scanning radio stations )
489
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:07,631
Are you sure
you're the chief of police?
490
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,132
Somebody should be missing
you by now!
491
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,868
I'm not that popular.
492
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,369
Well, that's good to know
when the shooting starts.
493
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:15,138
Here comes an on-ramp.
494
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:18,175
Nah, nah. The Staties
will be all over it.
495
00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:20,477
We're gonna go
the back way.
496
00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:22,880
You got somewhere
particular you want to go?
497
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,248
There's someplace particular
I don't want to go.
498
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:26,750
What were you in for?
499
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,953
Manslaughter,
that's the vibe
I'm getting.
500
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:30,120
Not murder one.
501
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:32,422
Yeah, well, dead's dead.
Why quibble? Go straight.
502
00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:35,593
I've got a wife.
I've got kids.
503
00:21:35,661 --> 00:21:37,628
They still need me.
504
00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:38,796
I'm not like you.
505
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:40,497
I've got others
who depend on me,
506
00:21:40,566 --> 00:21:42,032
people I've got
to worry about.
507
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:43,734
Mm. Well, the only person
you have
508
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,302
to worry about today
is me, Chief.
509
00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:47,071
Go straight!
510
00:21:52,277 --> 00:21:54,979
HELEN:
He made a traffic stop
without his gun?
511
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,580
Why would he do that?
512
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:59,449
WILLIAMS:
He thought
it was Judge Baker.
513
00:21:59,518 --> 00:22:02,185
Obviously, Judge Baker didn't
take my husband hostage.
514
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:05,856
The judge's car was stolen
by a man named Robert Morrison.
515
00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:06,857
What kind of judge
516
00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:08,458
doesn't get LoJack?
517
00:22:08,527 --> 00:22:10,427
How do you know
518
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:11,762
the identity of this man?
519
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:14,732
Judge Baker was meeting with
Morrison and his parole officer.
520
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,200
The judge was gonna send
Morrison back to prison,
521
00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:18,535
but, um...
522
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:20,838
he ended up
stealing the judge's car.
523
00:22:20,906 --> 00:22:22,205
How bad is he?
524
00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:25,075
Nobody the chief can't handle,
Ms. Girardi.
525
00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:26,510
Please.
526
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:30,914
I've been a cop's wife
for over 20 years.
527
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:37,154
He shot Judge Baker
and the parole officer.
528
00:22:37,222 --> 00:22:38,388
The parole officer died.
529
00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:43,560
So... my husband
530
00:22:43,629 --> 00:22:47,731
is with an armed killer
who's desperate to get away?
531
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:48,799
Well,
I feel better,
532
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:49,700
don't you, Mom?
533
00:22:51,971 --> 00:22:55,072
Why are there
so many police here?
534
00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:57,374
They, they should all
be out looking for Will.
535
00:22:57,442 --> 00:22:59,509
We've got everybody mobilized.
536
00:22:59,578 --> 00:23:02,012
The Staties
are covering the freeways.
537
00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:03,280
We'll find the chief.
538
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:09,319
Hey, I-I don't
want my kids
539
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:10,921
to hear about this
on the news.
540
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:13,390
We've got a media blackout
for another two hours.
541
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:15,392
Give the chief
a chance to persuade
542
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:17,427
Morrison to let him go.
543
00:23:17,496 --> 00:23:18,962
Do you want me to send a unit?
544
00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:20,263
Fetch the kids from school?
545
00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:27,470
No. No. My son has
this, um, math thing.
546
00:23:27,539 --> 00:23:29,073
Trimathlon.
547
00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:32,810
Very important to him.
548
00:23:32,878 --> 00:23:35,713
He asked me for special
permission to drink coffee.
549
00:23:38,650 --> 00:23:41,952
Know what, we'll...
let him do his math.
550
00:23:42,021 --> 00:23:43,721
Joan can drive him home.
551
00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:49,927
She got her license today.
552
00:23:51,731 --> 00:23:54,131
God, it's just one disaster
after another.
553
00:23:55,801 --> 00:23:57,467
I'm sorry.
554
00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:14,251
You coming to watch
the trimathlon?
555
00:24:14,319 --> 00:24:16,120
Ha-ha. Yeah, right.
556
00:24:17,256 --> 00:24:18,622
I intend to walk away
557
00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:20,724
with the gold in trigonometry.
558
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:22,726
Good for you.
559
00:24:22,795 --> 00:24:24,728
Trig is, uh...
560
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:28,465
triple-X-treme math.
561
00:24:28,533 --> 00:24:31,969
I guess that makes
you Tony Hawk, then.
562
00:24:32,037 --> 00:24:32,903
( chuckles )
563
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:34,037
If you give me your digits,
564
00:24:34,106 --> 00:24:35,505
I'll reduce them
to an imaginary number.
565
00:24:37,576 --> 00:24:38,776
You're Luke's friend.
566
00:24:38,844 --> 00:24:39,910
You know my number.
567
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:41,812
That's not the same
568
00:24:41,881 --> 00:24:43,180
as you giving it to me.
569
00:24:44,383 --> 00:24:46,383
What are you doing?!
570
00:24:46,451 --> 00:24:48,318
Are you hitting
on my sister?
571
00:24:48,387 --> 00:24:49,386
It's just
a conversation
572
00:24:49,454 --> 00:24:50,553
between a man
and a woman.
573
00:24:50,622 --> 00:24:52,055
More like between
a woman and a boy
574
00:24:52,124 --> 00:24:53,323
with aspirations
to manhood,
575
00:24:53,392 --> 00:24:55,392
aspirations which sprung
from a very private
576
00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:56,994
and extremely sensitive
conversation.
577
00:24:57,062 --> 00:24:57,861
Is he hitting on you?
578
00:25:06,205 --> 00:25:08,471
Luke, why are you
talking so fast?
579
00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:09,539
You ha...
580
00:25:09,608 --> 00:25:10,941
Uh, you have to
drive me home
581
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:12,209
after the trimathlon.
582
00:25:12,278 --> 00:25:14,011
Mom, uh, left the
keys in the office.
583
00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:15,679
Congratulations on
getting your license,
584
00:25:15,747 --> 00:25:17,014
though it really
does confirm
585
00:25:17,082 --> 00:25:19,283
my skepticism about
the testing criteria.
586
00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:20,284
Ah, I gotta go.
587
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,685
Trimathlon
takes two hours.
588
00:25:21,753 --> 00:25:23,821
Hope I can hold off
peeing for that lon...
589
00:25:25,891 --> 00:25:29,293
Luke, stop
drinking coffee.
590
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:32,362
Why? My mind has
never been so clear.
591
00:25:38,770 --> 00:25:40,503
MORRISON:
Pull over.
592
00:25:40,572 --> 00:25:42,372
You're not a killer.
593
00:25:42,441 --> 00:25:44,708
If you were, you would've shot
me when I pulled you over.
594
00:25:46,678 --> 00:25:48,378
Ding, ding. This is my stop.
595
00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:19,509
Last time I
felt like this
596
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,478
was the night
of your accident.
597
00:26:23,682 --> 00:26:28,252
Yeah, but...
you knew I'd be okay...
598
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,255
and that I'd live.
599
00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:33,490
I did, yes.
600
00:26:33,558 --> 00:26:35,692
Yeah, I knew I'd make it, too.
601
00:26:37,997 --> 00:26:41,631
I-I remember the car flipping...
602
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:42,832
and it was noisy.
603
00:26:42,902 --> 00:26:45,302
It was really noisy,
and then...
604
00:26:45,371 --> 00:26:46,536
I must have been
unconscious,
605
00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:48,471
because the next thing
I remember was quiet.
606
00:26:49,641 --> 00:26:52,042
Except... for the radio,
607
00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:54,177
which got stuck
on a classical station,
608
00:26:54,246 --> 00:26:56,980
which was weird
because it wasn't
609
00:26:57,049 --> 00:26:59,983
what we'd been listening to.
610
00:27:00,052 --> 00:27:01,718
I mean, it was like a-a dream,
611
00:27:01,787 --> 00:27:05,455
this-this beautiful
music in the dark,
612
00:27:05,524 --> 00:27:07,657
and I didn't feel any pain.
613
00:27:11,797 --> 00:27:14,597
I was glad then, but now
I know pain would've been good.
614
00:27:16,668 --> 00:27:18,201
And then
when I woke up
615
00:27:18,270 --> 00:27:21,271
in the hospital,
I saw Dad's face.
616
00:27:24,376 --> 00:27:26,977
And...
617
00:27:27,046 --> 00:27:32,182
I wondered, "Why does Mom think
this man is so good-looking?"
618
00:27:33,852 --> 00:27:36,553
Why would I keep making jokes?
619
00:27:36,621 --> 00:27:38,488
You had a fight
this morning.
620
00:27:42,627 --> 00:27:44,661
Times like this,
621
00:27:44,729 --> 00:27:47,998
we all have something
that we wish we'd said
622
00:27:48,067 --> 00:27:50,100
or something
we wish we hadn't said.
623
00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:56,340
The night of your accident,
you and your father argued.
624
00:27:56,408 --> 00:27:57,407
Do you remember?
625
00:28:01,380 --> 00:28:03,813
At the hospital...
626
00:28:03,882 --> 00:28:04,881
( sighing )
627
00:28:04,950 --> 00:28:08,251
Your father asked me...
628
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,287
"Kevin knows that I love him,
629
00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:13,023
right?
630
00:28:13,092 --> 00:28:14,691
That I'll always love him?"
631
00:28:20,665 --> 00:28:21,965
Did you tell him yes?
632
00:28:22,034 --> 00:28:24,767
Of course.
633
00:28:24,836 --> 00:28:29,739
And that's what
I'm telling you.
634
00:28:29,808 --> 00:28:31,708
He knows.
635
00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:44,954
I got three kids.
636
00:28:45,024 --> 00:28:47,257
The oldest boy's
in a wheelchair.
637
00:28:47,326 --> 00:28:48,558
My wife's a good woman.
638
00:28:48,627 --> 00:28:50,627
She doesn't deserve
any more tragedy in her life.
639
00:28:50,695 --> 00:28:52,695
Come on, you're insured
to the eyeballs.
640
00:28:52,764 --> 00:28:53,930
You ever depend
on anybody?
641
00:28:53,999 --> 00:28:54,831
Over there.
642
00:28:55,901 --> 00:28:57,667
Anybody ever depend on you?
643
00:28:57,736 --> 00:28:59,836
If nobody ever depended on you,
644
00:28:59,905 --> 00:29:01,838
then you're a child.
You're not a man.
645
00:29:01,907 --> 00:29:04,374
I'm not the baby
pleading for his life.
646
00:29:04,443 --> 00:29:06,576
It's not my life
I'm pleading for.
647
00:29:06,645 --> 00:29:08,178
I mean something to people.
648
00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:11,614
I don't expect you to
understand what that's like.
649
00:29:13,885 --> 00:29:14,851
( growls )
650
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,653
( cocks gun )
651
00:29:17,989 --> 00:29:19,222
( rock music playing )
652
00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:21,191
( people chattering, laughing )
653
00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:22,659
MAN:
Oh, yeah, it's the bomb...
654
00:29:24,163 --> 00:29:26,796
( chattering, music playing )
655
00:29:26,865 --> 00:29:28,432
All right,
back to the car.
656
00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:29,799
Back to the car!
657
00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:46,649
What are you doing?
658
00:29:46,718 --> 00:29:49,252
Checking for radio emissions.
659
00:29:49,321 --> 00:29:50,387
Why?
660
00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:53,123
Last year, a trimathlete
661
00:29:53,192 --> 00:29:56,059
was having data beamed
at him by an accomplice.
662
00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:58,161
Well, I'm not beaming anything.
663
00:29:58,230 --> 00:30:00,330
I'm just waiting
for my brother to finish.
664
00:30:01,366 --> 00:30:03,366
At which point,
you will drive him home.
665
00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:06,203
Correct?
666
00:30:08,873 --> 00:30:10,240
I don't want to drive.
667
00:30:10,309 --> 00:30:12,609
Why are you making me?
668
00:30:12,677 --> 00:30:14,377
Most young people want to drive.
669
00:30:14,446 --> 00:30:15,712
Why are you so hesitant?
670
00:30:15,780 --> 00:30:17,481
Well, you know everything.
671
00:30:17,549 --> 00:30:18,982
Why don't you tell me?
672
00:30:19,050 --> 00:30:21,485
Perhaps your mother is correct.
673
00:30:21,553 --> 00:30:23,620
You're afraid of
hurting yourself,
674
00:30:23,688 --> 00:30:24,721
of ending up like Kevin.
675
00:30:26,358 --> 00:30:28,057
Yeah. Maybe she's right.
676
00:30:28,127 --> 00:30:29,092
Balderdash.
677
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:30,327
You've always been
678
00:30:30,395 --> 00:30:31,628
a headstrong, brave child,
679
00:30:31,696 --> 00:30:33,930
not overly concerned with
your own well-being--
680
00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:36,065
a trait you inherited
from your father.
681
00:30:36,135 --> 00:30:39,536
What you fear is
hurting someone else.
682
00:30:39,605 --> 00:30:41,605
You fear that
one instance
683
00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:45,074
of bad judgment might
entail consequences--
684
00:30:45,144 --> 00:30:46,510
consequences
like those...
685
00:30:46,578 --> 00:30:47,410
Like Kevin?
686
00:30:50,048 --> 00:30:52,482
That's... that's why
I don't want to drive.
687
00:30:52,551 --> 00:30:56,620
I mean... isn't that...
isn't that a pretty good reason?
688
00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:59,422
Being an adult
689
00:30:59,491 --> 00:31:02,526
isn't merely about risking
your own well-being.
690
00:31:02,594 --> 00:31:04,261
It means risking others'.
691
00:31:04,329 --> 00:31:06,763
In cars, in love, in family,
692
00:31:06,831 --> 00:31:10,033
hurting others is
always a possibility.
693
00:31:10,101 --> 00:31:12,402
That's what's difficult
about being an adult--
694
00:31:12,471 --> 00:31:15,639
facing the harsh fact
that you may hurt others,
695
00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:17,174
even when you
don't want to.
696
00:31:17,242 --> 00:31:19,409
Then there's
a flaw in the design,
697
00:31:19,478 --> 00:31:20,644
and whose fault is that?
698
00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:23,246
It might help
699
00:31:23,315 --> 00:31:26,015
if you think of the universe
as an obstacle course.
700
00:31:26,084 --> 00:31:28,285
There's no flaw in
the design. It's just...
701
00:31:28,353 --> 00:31:29,352
Obstacles?
702
00:31:29,421 --> 00:31:30,253
Time's up.
703
00:31:32,558 --> 00:31:36,359
Take your brother
for a drive in the country.
704
00:31:41,933 --> 00:31:42,832
Betty, you all right?
705
00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:43,966
Yeah, I'm good.
706
00:31:44,035 --> 00:31:45,402
I can't believe it.
707
00:31:45,470 --> 00:31:46,670
It was so great.
708
00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:47,604
Hey.
709
00:31:49,641 --> 00:31:50,574
It's finally over?
710
00:31:53,178 --> 00:31:55,978
I went to another place.
711
00:31:56,047 --> 00:31:58,315
Like I reached another plane
712
00:31:58,383 --> 00:32:00,383
of crystalline thought
in probability theorem.
713
00:32:00,452 --> 00:32:02,352
Luke, if I want to hear
about your genius
714
00:32:02,421 --> 00:32:04,721
in probability theorems,
then I'll ask, okay?
715
00:32:04,789 --> 00:32:06,956
Yeah. Of course. Boring.
716
00:32:07,025 --> 00:32:08,592
Sorry.
717
00:32:11,963 --> 00:32:13,930
I talked to Adam Rove.
718
00:32:13,998 --> 00:32:16,933
You what?
719
00:32:17,001 --> 00:32:20,002
About your relationship.
720
00:32:20,071 --> 00:32:22,038
Who told you to do that?
721
00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:24,641
What did he say?
722
00:32:24,710 --> 00:32:27,444
He's not gonna be
a part of this, Joan.
723
00:32:27,512 --> 00:32:29,178
Oh.
724
00:32:29,248 --> 00:32:30,813
Part of what?
725
00:32:30,882 --> 00:32:33,116
I know, okay? You, you left
evidence in the bathroom.
726
00:32:33,184 --> 00:32:34,684
What are you
talking about?
727
00:32:34,753 --> 00:32:37,420
I know you're pregnant, and
obviously Adam is the father.
728
00:32:37,489 --> 00:32:41,591
Oh! Oh, my God! You are really
on another plane, aren't you?
729
00:32:41,660 --> 00:32:43,159
Adam's not the father?
730
00:32:43,228 --> 00:32:46,896
Uh, no. I'm, I'm not...
pregnant.
731
00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:50,467
Then why was there a pregnancy
kit in our bathroom wastebasket?
732
00:32:50,535 --> 00:32:52,269
Because, I'm not pregnant,
and I'm pretty sure
733
00:32:52,337 --> 00:32:53,737
Kevin's not pregnant,
which leaves...
734
00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:54,604
Mom.
735
00:32:58,443 --> 00:32:59,976
Okay, I'm an expert
on probability,
736
00:33:00,044 --> 00:33:02,912
and given factors such as Mom
and Dad's age, birth control
737
00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:04,847
and the average frequency
of sex after 23...
738
00:33:04,916 --> 00:33:06,316
Duh! Eww...
739
00:33:06,385 --> 00:33:07,817
The probability is low.
740
00:33:09,288 --> 00:33:11,688
So, what do we
do with this?
741
00:33:11,757 --> 00:33:12,922
Nothing.
742
00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:15,925
Nothing. We're gonna
let her tell us
743
00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:20,530
and be grossed out,
but really happy.
744
00:33:20,599 --> 00:33:22,999
Yeah, I'm comfortable
with that.
745
00:33:32,678 --> 00:33:35,545
Someone depended on me.
746
00:33:35,614 --> 00:33:37,781
You said no one
ever depended on me.
747
00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:39,282
They did.
748
00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:41,017
You want the man
you're going to murder
749
00:33:41,085 --> 00:33:42,285
to have a good
opinion of you?
750
00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:43,553
Screw you.
751
00:33:43,622 --> 00:33:44,754
It's your own fault.
752
00:33:44,823 --> 00:33:45,988
No gun, no uniform.
753
00:33:46,057 --> 00:33:47,524
What'd you
pull me over for?
754
00:33:47,592 --> 00:33:51,093
Dumbest cop I ever saw.
755
00:33:51,162 --> 00:33:53,496
I had something to prove
to my son...
756
00:33:53,565 --> 00:33:57,801
( chuckles ):
so I pulled over
a rich white guy.
757
00:33:59,638 --> 00:34:01,338
You couldn't understand.
758
00:34:01,406 --> 00:34:03,740
You don't care about
anybody's good opinion,
759
00:34:03,809 --> 00:34:05,575
and nobody cares about yours.
760
00:34:05,644 --> 00:34:07,644
Shut up.
What are you gonna
do, kill me twice?
761
00:34:07,713 --> 00:34:08,978
Shut up!
762
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,180
I got people that care!
Quit saying I don't!
763
00:34:11,249 --> 00:34:12,549
I got a kid.
764
00:34:12,617 --> 00:34:14,384
I'm no use to her in jail.
765
00:34:14,453 --> 00:34:15,785
You don't have anybody.
766
00:34:15,854 --> 00:34:18,955
If I got to hurt your family
for my own, tough.
767
00:34:19,023 --> 00:34:20,289
That's the way it goes.
768
00:34:20,359 --> 00:34:21,725
You don't have a family.
769
00:34:21,793 --> 00:34:23,560
I'm gonna show you.
770
00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:25,829
I'm gonna show you
what you're dying for.
771
00:34:30,168 --> 00:34:32,168
And then you'll see.
You'll see.
772
00:34:32,237 --> 00:34:34,738
( tires screeching )
773
00:34:38,643 --> 00:34:40,309
( gunshot )
774
00:34:40,379 --> 00:34:42,211
( tires screeching )
775
00:34:44,649 --> 00:34:46,215
( glass shattering )
776
00:34:48,987 --> 00:34:52,789
( steam hissing )
777
00:34:52,858 --> 00:34:55,525
( train whistle blowing
in distance )
778
00:35:01,332 --> 00:35:04,734
( louder train whistle blowing )
779
00:35:18,316 --> 00:35:19,516
( crickets chirping )
780
00:35:24,423 --> 00:35:26,222
( groans softly )
781
00:36:22,681 --> 00:36:24,413
( sighs )
782
00:36:26,985 --> 00:36:29,318
LUKE:
Come on, Joan,
let's go home now.
783
00:36:29,387 --> 00:36:30,954
Relax.
784
00:36:31,022 --> 00:36:33,289
Who knew I'd be
such a good driver?
785
00:36:33,358 --> 00:36:35,191
LUKE:
The probability
of an accident
786
00:36:35,259 --> 00:36:37,760
is directly proportional
to the number of distractions.
787
00:36:37,829 --> 00:36:39,061
Why are you so nervous?
788
00:36:39,130 --> 00:36:41,464
At the trimathlon,
we had to design
789
00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:43,633
our own probability scenario.
790
00:36:43,702 --> 00:36:48,237
Uh-huh.
Factoring in age,
gender, driving experience,
791
00:36:48,306 --> 00:36:50,473
temperament, and familiarity
with the vehicle,
792
00:36:50,542 --> 00:36:53,275
I computed the probability
of my sister having an accident
793
00:36:53,344 --> 00:36:54,410
on her first day of driving.
794
00:36:54,479 --> 00:36:56,345
And guess what?
795
00:36:56,414 --> 00:36:57,747
We're on borrowed time.
796
00:36:57,816 --> 00:37:00,016
So what, having an accident
is as likely as
797
00:37:00,084 --> 00:37:01,651
getting struck by lightning?
798
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:03,219
Higher.
799
00:37:03,287 --> 00:37:04,521
Um...
800
00:37:04,589 --> 00:37:06,122
a shark attack?
801
00:37:06,190 --> 00:37:07,824
Drowning? Meteor hit?
802
00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:09,526
Mom getting pregnant?
803
00:37:09,594 --> 00:37:10,927
Yeah, more likely
than all those.
804
00:37:13,264 --> 00:37:15,999
( panting )
805
00:37:26,044 --> 00:37:29,045
Why does Mom have a map
of Florida in our car?
806
00:37:29,113 --> 00:37:32,448
Oh, my God!
What?
807
00:37:32,517 --> 00:37:35,985
Friedman was hitting on me
because he thinks I'm a goer.
808
00:37:36,054 --> 00:37:37,053
I didn't tell him
that you were preg...
809
00:37:37,121 --> 00:37:39,722
I am not having sex
with Adam Rove.
810
00:37:39,791 --> 00:37:42,625
Then what's with this
intense relationship
you have with Adam?
811
00:37:42,694 --> 00:37:44,727
It's something else.
I don't know.
812
00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:47,864
When-when do you...
813
00:37:47,933 --> 00:37:49,331
plan to start having sex?
814
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,101
Oh, at my first
opportunity. You?
815
00:37:52,170 --> 00:37:53,937
I don't know, it may
not be up to me.
816
00:37:54,005 --> 00:37:55,337
( laughs ):
Who do you think
817
00:37:55,406 --> 00:37:57,306
it'll be up to, Joan,
an arranged marriage?
818
00:37:57,375 --> 00:37:59,008
We're not Hindu.
819
00:37:59,077 --> 00:38:00,142
What about Kevin?
820
00:38:00,211 --> 00:38:02,511
I mean, do...
821
00:38:02,581 --> 00:38:05,582
Do you think he'll
ever... be, I mean...
822
00:38:05,650 --> 00:38:09,518
A) Kevin is probably
still fully functional;
823
00:38:09,588 --> 00:38:10,853
and B)
824
00:38:10,922 --> 00:38:12,722
it's not as if he hasn't...
825
00:38:12,791 --> 00:38:14,857
How do you know?
826
00:38:14,926 --> 00:38:15,892
I caught him.
827
00:38:15,961 --> 00:38:17,026
( laughs )
828
00:38:17,095 --> 00:38:19,696
Once with Maggie Fraser
829
00:38:19,764 --> 00:38:21,698
and-and once
with Maureen McKeon.
830
00:38:21,766 --> 00:38:24,133
Ar-Are you... are you sure?
831
00:38:24,202 --> 00:38:25,367
Absolutely positive.
832
00:38:25,436 --> 00:38:26,803
Twice? What are you,
833
00:38:26,871 --> 00:38:28,404
like, some kind
of Peeping Tom?
834
00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:30,740
It's not my fault I have
a naturally quiet tread.
835
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:32,008
Watch out!
836
00:38:32,077 --> 00:38:33,242
( tires screeching )
837
00:38:33,311 --> 00:38:34,443
Don't stop!
838
00:38:34,512 --> 00:38:35,878
Go around him!
He's got a chain saw!
839
00:38:35,947 --> 00:38:37,080
Oh, my God,
840
00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:38,114
it's Dad!
841
00:38:38,182 --> 00:38:39,248
Come on,
the probability of that is...
842
00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:40,516
Daddy!
843
00:38:43,387 --> 00:38:46,823
( panting )
844
00:38:46,891 --> 00:38:48,157
( gasps )
845
00:38:48,226 --> 00:38:49,058
It's okay.
846
00:38:56,234 --> 00:38:58,267
( phone ringing )
847
00:38:58,336 --> 00:39:00,737
Mrs. Girardi, wait.
848
00:39:00,805 --> 00:39:02,471
( ringing continues )
849
00:39:06,978 --> 00:39:08,678
Hello?
850
00:39:08,747 --> 00:39:10,880
WILL:
It's me. I'm all right.
851
00:39:10,949 --> 00:39:13,249
Will?
852
00:39:13,317 --> 00:39:14,751
I'm all right, Helen.
853
00:39:14,819 --> 00:39:16,585
There was a car accident.
854
00:39:16,655 --> 00:39:18,187
The man I was with,
855
00:39:18,256 --> 00:39:21,357
he didn't make it,
856
00:39:21,425 --> 00:39:23,559
but I'm all right.
857
00:39:23,628 --> 00:39:25,294
You're hurt.
858
00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:27,797
I can tell you're hurt.
859
00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:29,365
Is...
860
00:39:29,433 --> 00:39:30,633
is Toni listening?
861
00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:32,001
Yes, she's here.
862
00:39:32,070 --> 00:39:35,437
Toni, send a unit out
863
00:39:35,506 --> 00:39:38,507
to old MacKenzie Line Road,
864
00:39:38,576 --> 00:39:40,342
three clicks east
of the Interstate.
865
00:39:40,411 --> 00:39:42,545
They'll find the car.
866
00:39:42,613 --> 00:39:47,083
Now, Toni, get off the line.
867
00:39:47,152 --> 00:39:49,852
Helen, I love you.
868
00:39:49,921 --> 00:39:51,688
I love the kids.
869
00:39:51,756 --> 00:39:54,356
There...
870
00:39:54,425 --> 00:39:57,426
there's still people...
listening.
871
00:39:57,495 --> 00:39:58,728
I don't care.
872
00:39:58,797 --> 00:40:02,231
I'll tell the world.
873
00:40:05,070 --> 00:40:07,870
I love you.
874
00:40:14,079 --> 00:40:15,678
( door opens )
875
00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:16,979
( door creaking )
876
00:40:17,048 --> 00:40:18,647
( door closes )
877
00:40:20,118 --> 00:40:21,250
JOAN:
Mom?
878
00:40:23,487 --> 00:40:25,454
It's almost 3:00 a.m.
879
00:40:25,523 --> 00:40:27,156
You should
be asleep.
880
00:40:27,225 --> 00:40:28,557
Where's Dad?
881
00:40:28,626 --> 00:40:31,728
They're keeping him overnight
for observation,
882
00:40:31,796 --> 00:40:33,362
but he is fine, honey.
883
00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:35,098
You don't have to worry.
884
00:40:39,871 --> 00:40:42,939
Was anything broken?
885
00:40:43,007 --> 00:40:45,474
No, but...
886
00:40:45,543 --> 00:40:48,377
apparently everything
is almost broken.
887
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:51,447
Was that really the best
he could come up with?
888
00:40:51,515 --> 00:40:53,616
Ram himself into a pole?
889
00:40:55,153 --> 00:40:57,353
I mean, what are the odds?
890
00:40:58,589 --> 00:41:02,358
One in 22,957,480.
891
00:41:04,262 --> 00:41:07,296
I spent most of the day
with Luke.
892
00:41:07,365 --> 00:41:09,298
( laughs )
893
00:41:09,367 --> 00:41:11,234
He won.
894
00:41:11,302 --> 00:41:12,802
The Trimathlon.
895
00:41:14,139 --> 00:41:15,872
You know why?
896
00:41:15,940 --> 00:41:18,674
'Cause he did a problem
based on me getting
897
00:41:18,743 --> 00:41:21,710
my driver's license
and crashing.
898
00:41:24,615 --> 00:41:27,917
Tomorrow we will have
a talk about the rules,
899
00:41:27,986 --> 00:41:32,288
about how we don't just
drive around for the fun of it.
900
00:41:32,356 --> 00:41:33,790
Mom...
901
00:41:33,858 --> 00:41:37,626
y-you left a pregnancy test
in the wastebasket.
902
00:41:42,066 --> 00:41:44,867
Why would you go digging
through the garbage?
903
00:41:44,936 --> 00:41:47,569
I didn't. Luke did.
904
00:41:47,638 --> 00:41:50,306
He thought it was mine.
905
00:41:50,374 --> 00:41:52,374
Why? Are you
sexually active?
906
00:41:52,443 --> 00:41:53,810
Why would you think that?
907
00:41:53,878 --> 00:41:55,144
Well, Luke thought it,
908
00:41:55,213 --> 00:41:56,979
and evidently,
he's a genius.
909
00:41:57,048 --> 00:41:59,315
Not at everything.
910
00:41:59,383 --> 00:42:01,350
And you're changing
the subject.
911
00:42:03,421 --> 00:42:06,155
I got my period;
I'm not pregnant.
912
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:10,693
But you were... pregnant?
913
00:42:11,930 --> 00:42:16,132
I think it was too soon
to know for sure. Maybe.
914
00:42:16,201 --> 00:42:18,534
Are you sad?
915
00:42:20,205 --> 00:42:21,637
My husband's alive.
916
00:42:21,706 --> 00:42:24,941
I have no right to be sad.
917
00:42:25,009 --> 00:42:26,108
( sighs )
918
00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:33,482
A little sadness.
919
00:42:33,551 --> 00:42:37,920
Yes. Beneath the joy.
920
00:42:37,989 --> 00:42:39,788
A little sadness.
921
00:43:00,945 --> 00:43:03,880
( woman speaks indistinctly
over P.A. )
922
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,434
There's my boy.
923
00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:32,174
♪ Till my body is dust ♪
924
00:43:33,811 --> 00:43:39,115
♪ Till my soul is no more ♪
925
00:43:39,183 --> 00:43:42,551
♪ I will love you ♪
926
00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:47,356
♪ Love you ♪
927
00:43:48,859 --> 00:43:52,494
♪ I will love you ♪
928
00:43:52,563 --> 00:43:57,967
♪ Love you. ♪