( gasps softly )
( sirens wailing )
( garbled radio transmissions )
Hey, Chief, I, uh...
I didn't mean you had to come down.
I was just calling to let you know.
Drug-related?
We don't know yet.
It's only an hour old.
You I.D'd her?
Not yet-- no purse or anything.
Chief, look, you show up on a call like this,
the guys are, the guys are going
to think you don't trust them.
Yeah, I wouldn't want them to think that.
Officer.
You get a picture of this?
What?
Bootprint.
Osborne, get over here!
Get a photo of that bootprint.
Yes, sir. Sir, the M.E. just arrived.
Thanks. Wait a minute.
The Medical Examiner's just getting here?
Yes, sir, Chief.
So tell me, she was found
with that blanket already on her?
Well... No, sir.
I'm... she was just lying there
out in the open and...
You've contaminated the scene, officer.
That's Procedure 101.
I'm sorry, sir.
Just, just go get the M.E., all right?
He's not homicide.
He's the officer on patrol-- luck of the draw.
He's a cop, isn't he? He passed the exam.
Yeah, I get your point and I'm going
to take care of it, but if I could just reiterate--
you showing up on a routine murder investigation...
Lieutenant Daghilan,
when these investigations become routine,
I won't have to show up anymore.
MAN ( whispering ): Joan...
( gasps )
♪ What if God was one of us? ♪
♪ Just a slob like one of us? ♪
♪ Just a stranger on the bus trying to make his way home? ♪
♪ Just trying to make his way home? ♪
♪ Are you ready for a brand-new game? ♪
♪ Are you ready? It's not the same ♪
♪ Are you ready? ♪
♪ There's no one left to blame ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
Joan, I don't want to be late for work!
Why have my children stopped listening to me?
We've never listened to you, Mom.
Thank you. Mystery solved.
Morning.
Hey. Everything okay?
Wasn't there supposed to be
a perk to this position--
like not having to go out
in the middle of the night?
You thought that was police business?
Cute.
Joan, I mean it!
Kevin!
Let him sleep.
Why?
Mom, you know all that stuff in my room?
You know, the candles
and the crystals and stuff?
Yeah, don't, don't touch that.
I'm doing this experiment with light.
I want him to go job hunting today, Will.
Really important experiment.
He doesn't know anybody. Give him time to adjust.
Life-altering stuff.
I'm not listening to you, Luke.
Good to know.
We've been here 4 months.
Joan has adjusted, Luke has adjusted.
Also good to know.
The world won't end if he sleeps
another half hour, Helen.
Doctor was very specific about this;
no preferential treatment.
We all agreed.
If-if we treat him special,
he'll expect the world to do that.
I've heard all the same lectures as you,
( kettle whistling )
Ever get the strange feeling that you're being discussed?
I never get that.
Because you're too boring.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
I, I put the classifieds there,
and I circled some things.
What, no CEO positions available?
Just as well.
I'd be the only one
whose mother has to drive him to work.
You are gonna learn how to drive.
Uh, I know how to drive.
That's how this all started.
You know what I mean. You...
Never mind.
Apparently, you don't have to do anything.
So, what you do is that you shoot these photons
at this piece of paper...
There's a pervert in the yard!
And a pervert appears in the yard.
What? I'm telling you!
Uh, um, if you need any muscle, just yell.
He was standing right here looking up at my window.
He was here.
HELEN: What did he look like?
JOAN: I don't know. I couldn't see his face.
He had a dark coat on.
Pervert coat?
He was here.
Did you notice anything else?
Did you happen to see his shoes?
Oh, yeah, I think they were Guccis.
HELEN: It was probably Mr. Sellers.
He's always out early.
He's overly involved with his gutters.
It wasn't Mr. Sellers,
and last night I heard someone calling me
in this weird voice in my room.
Joan, there definitely wasn't anyone in your room last night.
I'm not crazy!
Come eat your breakfast.
You're going to be late for school.
"Please excuse Joan from first period.
She was hallucinating."
Oh, shut up, weirdo.
Oh, I'm the weirdo? Yeah, you are.
Eh, eh enough!
Let's go eat a civilized family breakfast.
LUKE: Always good to try something new.
I saw him, Daddy.
Come on.
DAGHILAN: Abigail Dorset is the victim's name.
18 years old, a runaway.
She spent the last couple of nights at a teen shelter.
We're still looking for the next of kin.
The victim was sexually assaulted, beaten and strangled.
Forensics has determined that she did not die
in the location where she was found.
Got forensics on the bootprint?
It's government issue, probably army boots.
Someone with a military history?
It's possible.
All right, I need you guys
to hit all the teen shelters,
find out if there are any missing girls.
Hey, how's it going?
That depends. Are you following me?
Me? No, I'm just going to school.
You go to my school?
I've never seen you before.
Well, you know,
I keep a low profile.
I'm Joan.
It's nice to meet you.
Here's the part where you say your name.
Let's walk this way.
In the opposite direction of school?
I don't think so.
Joan, I want talk to you.
Unless I'm missing something, we are talking.
I mean, I want to be honest.
Now, who are you?
I saw you today.
Saw me where?
Outside of your house.
Look, I didn't mean to scare you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
That was you?
That guy was an old guy.
Okay, this is the difficult part.
I don't always look the same.
What are you talking about?
What do you want with me?
'Cause I gotta warn you, my dad's a cop.
He's not just any cop, he is the cop.
I know who your father is, Joan.
He's Will Girardi.
Born September 4th, 1955, Chicago.
His father was Gerald Girardi,
his mother was Alma Monroe.
He had an uneventful childhood.
Attended Mother Caprini High School,
then Morten Junior College.
After that, he joined the police force in 1980.
Then he met your mother, one Helen Brodie.
She was an art school dropout.
You're the middle child of three.
About a year and a half ago,
your older brother Kevin was in a car accident.
Fractured his back.
Left him a paraplegic.
You have one other brother, Luke, who's 15.
Your favorite color is green.
You love salt on cantaloupe.
Jim Das broke your heart in 8th grade.
And you're afraid of clowns.
Who are you?
I've known you since before you were born, Joan.
I ask you one more time.
I'm God.
You're what?
God.
Don't ever...
talk to me again.
♪ All I live for ♪
♪ See these things within my eyes ♪
♪ And it's all I live for ♪
♪ Push too hard on me, come by ♪
♪ From the fate and the struggle. ♪
Après le film...
CLASS: Après le film...
...les quatre amis...
...rencontreront Michel au café.
( chuckling )
What?
You've attracted the attention of the future Unabomber.
( sighs )
What am I supposed to do?
You're on your own.
This is the last thing I need.
TEACHER: Joan.
Joan?
Veuillez-vous lire
le paragraphe suivant, s'il vous plaît?
Can you read the next paragraph please?
I don't think so.
No? Pourquoi pas?
Pourquoi...
I don't speak French.
( laughter )
( choir singing )
( baton tapping )
MAN: Altos, sing out please.
Marlene...
did you see this excuse slip for Marty Wilkens?
Maybe.
Don't you think his mother, who's a lawyer,
would know how to spell either sore or throat.
She'd get one of them right.
I'll call him in after lunch.
Well, look who's here.
Joan?
Mom.
Apparently, I'm getting some kind of award.
Oh, really?
Most likely to end up in big rig school?
You know, lot of people
would consider you working here
a conflict of interest.
That's fascinating.
MAN: Ah, Miss Girardi.
Lets have a chat.
This was really just a misunderstanding.
Oh, I look forward to being enlightened.
Fifth time this month?
Fourth.
( bell ringing )
Hey, God, get lost, I mean it.
I know you think you mean it.
You know, I'm going to give my father
a full description and a composite drawing.
You'll be booked before dark.
Maybe he'll be too busy thinking of creative ways
to ground you for mouthing off in French class.
Are you spying on me?
I'm omniscient Joan, it comes with the job.
Okay, so, you're God.
Yes.
As in God?
Right.
Old Testament, Tower of Babel,
burning bush, Ten Commandments... God?
I come off a little friendlier in the New Testament
and the Koran, but, uh, yeah, same God.
And I'm supposed to believe you because...?
Because you have a feeling.
No, I don't.
How about you believe me
if I agree to overlook that promise you didn't keep.
What promise?
Let's see... that you'd study hard,
stop talking back, clean your room,
and even go to church, if I recall,
if I let your brother live.
How did you know about that?
Omniscience. Look it up.
So you let my brother live, and now you're here to collect?
No. I don't bargain.
That would be cruel.
Okay, so, let's say you're God.
Thank you.
I want to ask you some questions.
No. No?
No. As a general rule, I ask the questions.
Are you... are you being snippy with me?
God is snippy.
Let me explain something to you, Joan.
It goes like this:
I don't look like this.
I don't look like anything you'd recognize.
You can't see me. I don't sound like this.
I don't sound like anything you'd recognize.
You see, I'm beyond your experience.
I take this form because you're comfortable with it.
It makes sense to you.
And if I'm snippy, it's because you understand snippy.
Do you get it?
Sort of.
Good, because
I'm really not snippy.
I've got a great personality.
You'd like me.
I'm not religious, you know.
It's not about religion, Joan.
It's about fulfilling your nature.
Oh, uh, I definitely haven't done that.
Exactly.
Um, well, let's say you're God.
Joan, I am God.
Okay, well, let's see a miracle.
Okay.
How about that?
That's a tree.
Let's see you make one.
So, do you just go around appearing to people?
Um, a minor correction.
I'm not appearing to you.
You are seeing me.
Okay, fine.
Is it kind of weird that I have a crush on you?
I'm not going to look like this the next time.
The next time?
I'm going to be dropping in on you, Joan.
Now and then.
Why?
Lets just say I need you to do some errands.
Why?
Do you notice how I'm not answering any of the whys?
I want you to get a job,
at the Skylight Bookstore.
It's about three bus stops from here.
Manager's name there is Sammy.
Now, he's snippy.
It's important you do this pretty soon.
Don't ask why.
And if I say no?
Am I going to burst into flames?
( chuckles )
Where do you people get this stuff?
Have I ever made anybody burst into flames?
Do as I ask.
I'll see you around.
Wait, one more thing.
Soon, Joan.
Hello.
Go ahead.
Oh, no.
The Florida Keys.
We always wanted to go there.
You always wanted to go there.
I hate sand, water and bugs.
And I really hate it when they all get together.
Okay. How about Canada?
We could do that rail thing.
Helen, Canada is where people go
when they can't really afford to go on a vacation.
Okay, you win.
We'll go visit my parents.
Oh, I don't think I can get away.
Really. The job is too new.
I'm still on probation as far as the city's concerned.
We used to always go
somewhere for Christmas.
Well, think how it would be for Kevin.
Putting him in the same old situations
where he has to look at the difference.
He needs to start looking at something, besides MTV.
There's no rule that says he has to bounce back right away.
It's been a year and a half since the accident.
If he did something...
If he got a job, I think he'd feel better.
He would, or you would?
Hey! We're doing okay.
We are?
Our daughter is hallucinating
men in the backyard.
Couldn't we talk about this another time?
Yeah, yeah.
The thing about going away for Christmas, Will,
is that it would be a start.
And we could get up there,
and we could see what the world looks like to us now.
I can't think more than a day ahead...
because I can't imagine my life...
...my son's life,
being the way it is forever.
Can't you just be happy he lived?
Of course I am.
I'm grateful for that every day.
( rock music playing )
( keyboard keys clattering )
( knocking )
Enter.
Hey, What you doing?
Rehearsing for my part in a big musical.
I'm studying, what else do I do?
No, I won't do your math.
No, no, no, I don't want you to do my math actually.
I just wanted to... you know, talk.
Right.
So, you're a science geek, right?
I prefer man of science, but...
Do you believe in God?
Sure, it's logical.
It is?
If you accept the special theory of relativity,
which I do, and the laws
of thermodynamics, which I do,
and then you throw in the fact
that light is conscious,
which it appears to be, you know, how can you argue?
Do you think he could be, you know,
just walking around in the world, or...?
Like a person?
Hmm... um...
You know, it's not empirically inconsistent.
You know, because everything is energy,
and energy can manifest itself in any form,
depending on its rate of vibration.
So, God could like vibrate himself into the form
of a really hot guy about my age?
See, I knew there was a guy in this.
Yes or no.
Could it happen?
As the great physicist Faraday
once said, "Nothing is too wonderful
to be true."
Hey, girl.
Okay, so who's the guy?
What guy?
I saw you talking to him after school.
Is he from where you used to live?
Because he is definitely not from around here.
Wait, you saw him?
Well, you were just standing out there.
What did he look like?
Take it easy.
You want to know
what your own boyfriend looks like?
He's cute.
You hurt my arm.
Describe him.
Brown hair.
Corduroy jacket.
Orlando Bloom-ish.
Yeah.
And it looked like you two
were having a fight.
Oh, my God.
I knew it.
You saw him.
He is just a guy.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
He's not my boyfriend.
He's some weirdo who started talking to me on the bus.
So, are you going to go out with him?
No. I'm telling you, he's crazy.
Thinks he's God.
What else is new?
You fix this.
You do something about it right now.
It's a lie.
They can't just print this lie.
It's got nothing to do with us, Mrs. Dorsett.
We released a general statement.
Who released it? You?
This is my baby girl, do you realize that?
Yeah, I do.
What's the problem?
This is Mrs. Dorsett, Abigail's mother.
On TV, they called her a prostitute.
I got this
off the Internet where everyone can see it.
This is Chief Girardi.
Did you do this?
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Doesn't it occur to you people that she was someone's daughter?
Of course it does.
We release a general statement.
The press often provides the details, Mrs. Dorsett,
and for that, I am truly sorry.
I know what this means, Mr. Girardi.
Call her a hooker... nobody has to panic.
Nobody has to find who killed her.
This was my baby.
You find him.
Help for the homeless?
Anything you can give.
God bless you.
Let me ask you something.
What is God thinking?
Excuse me?
What's He thinking?
Uh... what's He up to?
You know, the Upridge parking lot version.
Well, it-it's not really something
I'm prepared to answer.
Why not? You got the collar on.
Says to the world you got some sorta handle on it.
What you're asking is complicated.
Well,
just give it a shot,
starting with why He lets people suffer.
I'm putting you on the spot.
Um, I'm sorry.
I'll just be going.
He's, He's a father, right?
He's supposed to be a father.
What father wouldn't fix his kid's problems
if he possibly could?
And he's master of the universe, so he's pretty capable.
Is He... out of ideas?
Is He bored? What?
Ma'am, I can see you're in a spiritual crisis,
and if you'd like to make
an appointment, you could come down to my parish.
I'd, I'd be happy to...
No, no, no.
I'm sorry, I'm pretty emotional right now. Uh...
Good luck with those homeless.
Look, I'll pray for you.
Really.
What will you say?
Help that emotional woman from the parking lot?
Okay.
Sure.
What part of the fish is this anyway?
Ugh. You don't want to go there.
I'm on a diet.
I'm just having cake.
Do you want to come sit with us?
Yeah, sure.
We'll be over there.
Hi. Can I get some extra tartar sauce, please?
Sure you can, baby.
This is a five-star restaurant.
How come you didn't get the job?
Excuse me?
I think I made myself clear.
I told you that crush thing wouldn't be a problem.
Could we possibly talk about this somewhere else?
Well, just do what I tell you and we won't have to discuss it.
Couldn't be easier.
Move on now, you're holding up the line.
What you need, sugar?
Hey.
Hey, what's going on?
Why are you home?
I took the day off work.
What for?
Wow.
See how happy they look?
Will my teeth be that straight, too?
No need to thank me.
Thing is, I'm afraid it's going to make me too popular.
You could reconsider college.
No. The only reason I was going to college
was to play baseball.
I'm not the brains of the family.
Yeah, well there's still so much you could do.
Mom,
don't you think I wish I was one of those people
who get all jazzed about the wheelchair Olympics?
I'm doing okay, considering.
Stop trying to make me the world's best invalid.
When you were little,
and I would take you to...
( sighs )
...the park or a store...
People would stop you
and tell you how beautiful I was.
How special you were.
You have this quality.
Everyone senses it,
and...
I can't believe your purpose in life is over
just because you lost the ability to walk.
Mom.
Walking's overrated anyway.
Most people try to avoid it.
That's why we have so much
traffic and skateboards, and scooters
and golf carts and road rage.
Because of how much everyone hates walking.
When your sister gets home,
I want you to talk to her.
About what?
She's going through something.
You think she's cracking up?
No, I think she's going through something
and she needs a big brother.
That hasn't changed.
Hey.
Mom wants me to talk to you.
To make sure I'm not crazy?
Yup. So, are you crazy?
No.
Okay. I'm glad we had this talk.
Maybe.
I don't know.
How are you supposed to know?
I mean, are there signs,
or a checklist or website?
Well, I guess it's just the usual stuff.
Do you believe in UFOs?
Do you hear voices?
Are you Michael Jackson?
If voices have people attached,
are they still considered voices?
Joan, here's the thing.
Mom likes normal.
Dad really likes normal.
Before my accident, Luke was all they could handle
in the freak-for- a-kid department.
Now they've got me.
You're their only hope for normal.
That is just wrong.
Well, it sounded good, though, didn't it?
( laughing )
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.
What did I do?
Did you feel that?
Yeah.
No. No,
I can't feel it.
No way.
You jerk! ( laughs )
I felt that!
Stop it!
♪ Oh-oh ♪
♪ Hey-hey-hey-hey ♪
♪ Oh-oh ♪
♪ Don't know what it is, but, um... ♪
♪ I-I-I-I like it.... ♪
MAN: Calm down. You're wheezing.
Yes, you are.
Just start over.
Is it moving?
Is it breathing?
If it's moving and breathing, it's not dead.
Damn it, Heidi,
if it's hopping, it's really not dead.
It's cheerful.
I told you, we shouldn't get a rabbit for a pet.
It's not a pet; it's food.
Heidi...
Heidi, don't...
Hi!
Joan Girardi.
I don't sell Harry Potter anything.
No, I'm here about the job.
You know, the one that you were advertising.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's for someone who can see over the counter.
Well, I'm 16.
I've had lots of jobs.
Really? Name all four books in the Alexandria quartet.
See?
Now somebody might ask you questions like that.
And then I'd say, "I'll look it up in the computer."
( sighs )
I-I'm good with computers.
Yeah, everybody's good with computers
and digital cameras and cell phones and Tivo.
But no one can form an objective thought to save their lives.
Go home, please.
Hiring you would only complicate my life
because I would have to rant and rave
about your shabby education
and I have enough to rant and rave about.
( sighs )
Was that your daughter on the phone?
My wife.
A grown woman who is hysterical over a sick rabbit.
I don't need any more adolescents in my life.
Well, if you hire me, then you can go take care of it.
I know how to run a cash register
and I know how to answer the phone.
And I can count way past ten.
So if you just run along
and go take your wife's rabbit to the vet,
and when you come back,
if I haven't burned down the store or something,
you can hire me.
You don't happen to have any references on you?
No, but I was sent by God.
She said... revealing her acerbic wit.
( clears throat )
My dad's Will Girardi.
H-h-he's the chief of police.
Really.
Don't steal anything.
Don't take any checks.
Don't give any refunds.
I will be back at 6:00.
Her name's Lindsay Mitchell. Junior at AHS.
Her mother reported her missing yesterday afternoon.
She's been dead about 24 hours.
It's the same guy.
Same M.O.
Footprint's a match.
WILL: Well, how do you want to handle this?
It's your call.
What would you do?
I'd go to medical school like my mother wanted.
Yeah, no kidding.
Baptism by napalm.
♪ You don't need a reason ♪
♪ Just to hang around ♪
♪ You don't have to be broken to break down ♪
♪ You don't have to be crazy ♪
♪ To stand up and scream and shout ♪
♪ You don't need all the answers ♪
♪ To know what it's about ♪
♪ There is a time, there is a place ♪
♪ A silver shadow's waste away ♪
♪ Tomorrow turns another page ♪
♪ And we live the lies we made ♪
♪ I want to go lights up your face ♪
♪ Silver shadows waste away ♪
♪ Tomorrow brings another day ♪
♪ And we live the lies we made ♪
( thunder rumbling )
♪ We live... ♪
♪ We live. ♪
( thunder crashing )
You want to share this?
Is that you?
Come on. You're getting wet.
You'll catch cold.
Look, can we figure out
some kind of way to do this,
you know, like some code word or something?
'Cause that stunt in the cafeteria was tres unamusing.
Come on. I'll give you a ride.
My car's right here.
Wow.
God has a car.
Yeah.
God has a bad car.
God has The Club.
You know what? I think I'm going to walk.
Nah, come on. You don't want to do that.
It's cold out. No!
It's going to be fine.
No!
( shrieks )
What the hell are you doing?
Why are you leaving?
There was a man.
What, what man?
A man tried to get me in his car!
What?
What man?
I thought I was going to be home by 6:00,
and then the owner was late coming back.
I'm sorry I scared you.
You go and get a job just like that
without telling anybody.
You're always bugging Kevin to get one.
That's Kevin. You're in school.
Some parents would think that was industrious.
Some parents haven't seen your report card.
And then there was this man who was kind of following me.
What?
You were saving that for later?
I didn't want to upset you.
Too late.
Helen, why don't you let me handle this?
Okay, fine.
I kinda miss the '50s.
I swear there was a man, Daddy.
The same man?
No, a different one.
Why are you doing this?
Is this some sort of bid for attention?
Because there really is someone out there, Joan.
And if there's a man following you,
I need to know.
There really is.
I mean, I think there is.
The one earlier,
he turned out to be someone else.
But the one tonight...
he seemed real.
( chuckles )
( sobbing )
I don't want this to be happening to me, Daddy.
What is happening?
( sobbing )
You can tell me.
Whatever it is, we'll deal with it.
I'll get you, I'll get you
a doctor, a counselor, a priest.
I'll make it okay.
That's my job.
Look at me.
I'm not going to lose you,
for any reason.
Do you understand?
Night, Lieutenant.
Night.
Chief keeping bankers hours tonight?
He had some family business.
He's a funny one, isn't he?
He's the boss, Sergeant.
Good night, sir.
Eicher,
give me a minute.
What's this?
Guy was doing 60 down Grand View,
ran a red light, mouthed off a bit.
Just thought I'd drag it out, then let him go.
You run the check on him?
He's got nothing, not even a parking ticket.
You want to kick him?
I just thought, he mouthed off,
I'd teach him a lesson.
No, let's put him up overnight.
Sir, for what?
Call it "resisting arrest."
I want to talk to him in the morning.
Okay.
You want to talk to the guy
for running a red light?
Uh, yeah, yeah.
And I'm going to want the chief to be there, too.
MAN: Joan.
Joan?
Joan?!
Uh, I-I appreciate what you did.
I mean, it was kinda stupid and you got in trouble,
but it was... brave
and... I get your point.
I have a point?
My little sister can get a job,
I've got no excuse.
So, you're shaming me back into the world.
But...
( clears throat )
you're right.
It's... time.
Ah, go back to sleep.
♪ They ask me how I feel ♪
♪ And if my love is real ♪
♪ And how I know I'll make it through ♪
♪ They look at me and frown ♪
♪ They'd like to drive me from this town ♪
♪ They don't want me around ♪
♪ 'Cause I believe in you ♪
♪ They show me to the door ♪
♪ They say, "Don't come back no more" ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't want to be like they'd like me to. ♪