1 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:12,260 [Ron Howard] Now the story of a wealthy family 2 00:00:12,340 --> 00:00:15,470 who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice 3 00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:17,140 but to keep them all together. 4 00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:24,850 It's... 5 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:32,150 [Ron] Michael Bluth was visiting the family business, 6 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,610 hoping to find Lucille Austero, 7 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,740 who was now a majority stakeholder, 8 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,320 to thank the woman... 9 00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:40,290 -They closed the company. -...for forgiving his debt. 10 00:00:40,370 --> 00:00:42,330 -[man] Don't mind me, I work downstairs. -Hi. 11 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,040 Doing a little lunch looting. [laughs] 12 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:47,080 -You? -It was my family's company. 13 00:00:47,170 --> 00:00:48,130 I'm Michael Bluth. 14 00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:50,840 Hey. You guys put me in my first house. 15 00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:54,260 Oh, yeah, a lot of people's first house was a Bluth. 16 00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:57,140 No, no, I was part of that Cornballer class action suit. 17 00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:58,300 -I see. -Yeah, 18 00:00:58,390 --> 00:01:01,220 I made enough to put a down payment on a Sitwell. 19 00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:04,930 Well, we've put a lot of people in Sitwells, too. 20 00:01:06,350 --> 00:01:07,440 [elevator bell dings] 21 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:11,860 -Uh-- oh, God, well, you caught us. -[grunts] 22 00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:14,400 Didn't think anybody would be getting on while we were getting off. 23 00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:16,200 What did you do to the Bluth Company? 24 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,950 You've been president two weeks. 25 00:01:18,030 --> 00:01:20,200 -Took us to the next level. -[man] An iPhone 5 charger! 26 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,330 Fourth floor. 27 00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:25,120 [Ron] Even the landlord was surprised by the move. 28 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,410 Not only would you have to pay 29 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:29,670 a penalty to get out of your old lease, but the rent is double. 30 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,800 Just to see the roof of a Rite Aid? 31 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:35,050 [Ron] Which was the first that G.O.B. had heard of the view. 32 00:01:35,670 --> 00:01:36,930 I'll take it. 33 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,220 [Michael] Okay, okay. Okay. 34 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,300 Ding. 35 00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:42,640 [G.O.B.] So? 36 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,060 What do you think? [laughs] 37 00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:46,350 It used to be a 2 Hour Teeth, the whole place. 38 00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:48,230 [Michael] Yeah, I remember the screams. 39 00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:50,730 I guess it was the 90 Minute Tooth guys across the street 40 00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,940 that put the 2 Hour guys out of business. 41 00:01:53,110 --> 00:01:55,190 I did see that the old Blockbuster is becoming 42 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,780 an "Hour Mouth," so those guys gotta be shitting themselves. 43 00:01:58,860 --> 00:02:01,200 Why did you move the business? This is exactly the same. 44 00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:04,540 Says the guy who hasn't seen the roof of the Rite Aid yet. 45 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,500 Where's the nitrous? 46 00:02:07,580 --> 00:02:10,040 This will not be used as the conference room? 47 00:02:10,420 --> 00:02:12,840 Uh, no. I had to kind of... I had to move it, 48 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:15,000 just, uh, for a couple reasons, actually. 49 00:02:15,090 --> 00:02:17,050 A, I wanted a bigger office. -That feels like the heart of it. -Yeah, it is, 50 00:02:22,010 --> 00:02:23,010 -but, uh... Hey. -Sure. 51 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,310 Check out that view. 52 00:02:24,390 --> 00:02:26,980 Boy, what's a bike tire doing on the roof of the Rite Aid? Yeah, that's the $14,000 a month question, isn't it? 53 00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:32,480 When they said you were the president of the Bluth Company, 54 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,150 I assumed it was in name only. 55 00:02:34,230 --> 00:02:36,730 That they hired you to actually work seems wrong. 56 00:02:37,070 --> 00:02:39,780 -Do you even know what a mortgage is? -[laughs] 57 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,950 No, he doesn't. He doesn't know anything. 58 00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:43,320 You do, though. 59 00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:45,410 You're the smart Bluth, I can see it in your eyes. 60 00:02:45,870 --> 00:02:47,000 You read, don't you? 61 00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:50,040 Adhir is a holdover from the Austero Company. 62 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:51,670 He's our compliant officer. 63 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,630 Or as I like to call him, Chief Worrywart. 64 00:02:53,710 --> 00:02:55,840 -[makes chicken noise] -It's "compliance officer." 65 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:59,260 Uh, hey, uh, so you worked for the Austero Company? 66 00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:01,010 Uh, they forgave a big debt of mine. 67 00:03:01,090 --> 00:03:03,470 How would I get ahold of Lucille Austero? 68 00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:05,600 [dramatic music plays] 69 00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:11,350 -No one knows, I'm afraid. -Okay. 70 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,270 [G.O.B.] That's it, go to your office, Adhir. 71 00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:18,070 He's the chief compliant officer, so he has to do whatever I comply. 72 00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:20,070 -[grunts] -[Michael] I'm assuming that's 73 00:03:20,150 --> 00:03:21,490 where the conference table went. 74 00:03:21,570 --> 00:03:23,280 [G.O.B.] It's probably too big for that room, 75 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,200 and I would get it out, but I can't quite remember 76 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:27,740 how I got it in there. 77 00:03:27,830 --> 00:03:30,000 Like you, I'm about to go underwater, but before I go, 78 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,500 I'd like to give you some advice: you're not good at this. 79 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,920 Yeah. I know. But it's important to Dad. 80 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,590 Want to know the thanks I'm getting? 81 00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:38,960 Dad is giving a trophy to Lindsay, not me, 82 00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:41,510 for the family of the year ceremony tonight. 83 00:03:41,590 --> 00:03:42,720 Hm. Great, well, 84 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:46,140 Dad didn't get a trophy for doing what you're doing, and he actually did it. 85 00:03:46,220 --> 00:03:48,930 [G.O.B.] Well, that's not the worst way to make Dad love me. 86 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:54,400 I will get a trophy for Dad, for... something. 87 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:55,980 -Mm. -Figure that out later. 88 00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:58,070 Dad's never gonna give you what you're looking for. 89 00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,190 And, uh, maybe that's how it should be. 90 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,650 Maybe when sons grow up, they're not supposed to be too close 91 00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:03,860 to their fathers. 92 00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:06,660 And maybe the best thing a father can do for his son 93 00:04:06,740 --> 00:04:09,290 is disappear for a while and let him figure out 94 00:04:09,370 --> 00:04:11,040 what kind of man he wants to be on his own. 95 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,710 At least, that's what I've tried to do. 96 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:16,880 Then why did you move into your son's dorm room? 97 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,590 That was a year, okay? 98 00:04:19,670 --> 00:04:22,590 And not even a full year, because I got there at Thanksgiving. 99 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,260 Okay, well, goodbye forever, G.O.B. 100 00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:26,720 I'll be seeing you tonight. 101 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:32,100 [Ron] Michael returned to the model home to get his scuba equipment. 102 00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:34,270 But before he left town, he thought he'd take 103 00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:37,610 one last look at his son's childhood bedroom. 104 00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:40,190 Uh-- George Michael? 105 00:04:41,730 --> 00:04:44,240 [imitating George Michael] Father. It's me, George Michael. 106 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:45,320 Think fast. 107 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:47,240 Tobias. 108 00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:51,870 [in normal voice] Michael. Yes, well, this is embarrassing. 109 00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:54,710 Not only are you finding me in your son's pants, 110 00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:57,960 but you're also finding out how the sausage is made. [chuckles] 111 00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:00,840 I don't understand a thing you said. 112 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:04,300 Well, I was doing some character work for, um, 113 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,510 uh... [grunting] 114 00:05:07,590 --> 00:05:09,430 I'm doing a little character work to prepare 115 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,220 for the awards ceremony... 116 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,270 How did... 117 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,600 Why do they only have one...? [pants] 118 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,150 Yes-- oh! Uhp! 119 00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:18,650 -Okay, back... -You all right? 120 00:05:18,730 --> 00:05:20,190 -[sighs] -Oh! Um... 121 00:05:20,270 --> 00:05:21,440 There you go. 122 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:23,070 -Just an acting exercise. -Sure. 123 00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:24,740 You're supposed to be George Michael now? 124 00:05:24,820 --> 00:05:28,490 Oh, well, it's a character role, really, and let's face it. 125 00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:30,910 No one was buying me as a straight man. 126 00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:32,540 It was a little off-brand. 127 00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:34,330 I'm just trying to find 128 00:05:34,410 --> 00:05:37,000 my place in the Bluth family... 129 00:05:37,210 --> 00:05:39,040 [sighs] ...now that, uh... 130 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:43,050 Lucille's almost done with me as her therapist 131 00:05:43,130 --> 00:05:45,470 and Lindsay has... what does Gwyneth Paltrow say? 132 00:05:45,550 --> 00:05:47,050 "Consciously un-cuckold" me. 133 00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:48,890 You want to stay a part of the Bluth family? 134 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:50,680 I have a feeling... 135 00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:53,100 you do, too. 136 00:05:53,470 --> 00:05:55,390 Despite your claims of leaving. 137 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,690 No, no, it's not a claim. I'm leaving. 138 00:05:57,770 --> 00:05:59,020 You always seem to be. 139 00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,270 Well, I'm doing it. 140 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,070 I'm gonna map the ocean floor. 141 00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:04,400 Michael, if I could... 142 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:07,110 put my therapist leggings on for one second. 143 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,240 -Just sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, -Yeah, sure. 144 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,030 -sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. -Tobias, please. 145 00:06:13,450 --> 00:06:14,830 I would just say that 146 00:06:14,910 --> 00:06:17,750 you're trying to run away from people before they have a chance 147 00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:19,830 to run away from you, because that's what the people 148 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:21,330 you love do. 149 00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:22,340 Isn't it? 150 00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:24,300 What people? Your wife. 151 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:26,880 -Uh... -Your son. 152 00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:28,670 Or should I say... 153 00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:31,640 [in a high-pitched voice] ...me? 154 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,300 Don't. Uh, you know... 155 00:06:33,390 --> 00:06:35,390 -"Why'd Mommy leave, Daddy?" -Tobias... 156 00:06:35,470 --> 00:06:38,940 [in a higher pitch] "I didn't leave. I loved you bo--" [coughs] 157 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:40,600 I don't think you want to go there, okay? 158 00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:43,020 Yes, yes, yes. I suppose I did... 159 00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:44,070 start too high. 160 00:06:44,150 --> 00:06:46,150 Okay, let's bring everyone down an octave. 161 00:06:46,230 --> 00:06:47,780 -"Why did Mommy leave, Daddy?" -Tobias... 162 00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:49,820 -"I didn't leave. I loved you both." -Listen. 163 00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:51,860 Tobias, listen, I don't want you playing my son. 164 00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:55,030 And I'm not confused at all about what happened to Tracey. 165 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,330 Really? Because you certainly never talk about it. 166 00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:00,330 I was raising a son. Think I want to burden him 167 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,290 with memories that are gonna make him feel worse? 168 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:06,050 Please. What about Michael's memories? 169 00:07:06,130 --> 00:07:10,550 Why can't you go back to the last place you saw Tracey? Hmm? 170 00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:13,180 -The family beach cottage? -No, no, 171 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:15,140 I was thinking more, uh, uh, 172 00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:16,720 -metaphorically. -Yeah. 173 00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:18,930 But that's where we spent the last months of her life. 174 00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:20,940 And-and after she died, 175 00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:23,400 the family sold that house. 176 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,310 It was one of the kindest things 177 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,280 that-that they ever did for me. 178 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,150 -Do you think that I should go there? -Uh, 179 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,450 my number one rule is "don't tell Michael... 180 00:07:33,610 --> 00:07:35,870 what to do." Now, um, I will say, though, 181 00:07:35,950 --> 00:07:37,830 I wish I had known you'd had such depth 182 00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:40,830 before I gave your part away to a less experienced actor. 183 00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,290 I didn't know there was such a thing. 184 00:07:43,370 --> 00:07:45,210 Get your stuff. We're out of here. 185 00:07:45,670 --> 00:07:47,130 And where are we going, Father? 186 00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:48,920 Nowhere. I was just practicing the new skit. 187 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,760 -[sighs] -Remember the line where he says, 188 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,760 -"Get your stuff"? -I'm improv'ing, 189 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,260 you over-intending schmactor. 190 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:57,220 This is the simplest character in the entire family. 191 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,180 He has one personality trait: 192 00:07:59,470 --> 00:08:00,810 he always comes back. 193 00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:03,020 Well, that and he always has his hands in his pockets. 194 00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,150 You got peanuts in there? 195 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,440 Okay, why am I staying here for this? 196 00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:08,480 Why can't I just be your son? 197 00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:10,570 Oh, there is no son anymore. He cut the part. 198 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,360 And I can't be your father. I'm not a straight man. 199 00:08:13,450 --> 00:08:16,280 [Ron] Why are we staying here for this? Anyway, Michael, 200 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:18,910 in his haste to leave town, arrived at the dock 201 00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:21,750 for his ocean floor mapping expedition 202 00:08:21,830 --> 00:08:23,830 for what he was certain was a six-bells departure. 203 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,710 No, we leave at 6:00 p.m. 204 00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:28,210 You telling me we've got a 14-bell delay? 205 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,250 I don't know, man. But we leave in seven hours. 206 00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:31,760 Yeah. Okay. 207 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,590 [Ron] And he was encouraged to use the time 208 00:08:33,670 --> 00:08:36,430 to try out his undersea camera survey equipment. 209 00:08:36,510 --> 00:08:39,680 All right, let's have it. Great. Look at that, huh? 210 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,970 [Ron] And once in the water, Michael felt like he was 211 00:08:42,060 --> 00:08:45,190 finally able to let go of the past and forget about 212 00:08:45,270 --> 00:08:47,310 everything he was leaving behind. 213 00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:52,860 George Michael, meanwhile, felt no such peace. 214 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,910 Although he was surprised that his evasive run-in with his father... 215 00:08:56,990 --> 00:08:58,990 There's enough of these for this to be a thing? 216 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,080 ...was less dramatic 217 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,200 than he recalled. 218 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,660 And he sought out Maeby at what she'd said was her new place. 219 00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:06,870 -Hello. -Looking for a grandparent? 220 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,420 No, thank you. I... No, I have enough. I'm, uh... 221 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,210 I think I might be at the wrong address. 222 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,300 I'm looking for someone who I cannot imagine meets 223 00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:15,880 -your residency requirements here. -[Maeby] Rose, he's fine. 224 00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:17,340 It's all right. He's with me. 225 00:09:17,430 --> 00:09:19,300 [George Michael] This is where you're living, a senior center? 226 00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:20,890 Yeah, just wait. Hey, Rose, do you mind? 227 00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,720 -[lock buzzes] -Thank you. [Maeby] I needed somewhere to lay low 228 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,230 until the Perfecto thing blew over. 229 00:09:26,310 --> 00:09:29,150 [George Michael] But you said this place was incredible. 230 00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:31,690 -This is incredible! -[Maeby] Right? 231 00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:34,190 [George Michael] Why is the lobby so off-putting? 232 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,860 [Maeby] That's what the seniors do to keep the young people away. 233 00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:38,990 They don't want "dot-commers" taking over. 234 00:09:39,070 --> 00:09:41,200 -Nice. Like you and me. -Exactly. 235 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:42,950 [George Michael] How were you able to get in? 236 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,700 [Maeby] When I came back from Mexico, 237 00:09:44,790 --> 00:09:47,250 I found a parking pass in Lucille 2's Cadillac, right? 238 00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:49,920 And, apparently, she kept a place for these "trysts" 239 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,880 with old lovers from years ago. 240 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,880 Or they were co-owners or something. 241 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,760 But they just kept it here, empty, 242 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,470 until one of them needed it. 243 00:09:57,550 --> 00:09:59,090 So that was lucky. [chuckles] 244 00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,350 I just had to make myself look older, you know? 245 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,430 Yeah, I would think that that'd be a great use of the gray wig. 246 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,060 No, I went down that road. 247 00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:07,850 [Ron] But wasn't expecting how upsetting it is 248 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,400 to see one's self grown old. 249 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,770 The moment when a young woman realizes... 250 00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:14,900 [sighs] Oh, my God, I've become my father. 251 00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:16,940 [Tobias] ♪ In the most delicious way! ♪ 252 00:10:17,030 --> 00:10:18,450 Oh, so this is a choice. 253 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:19,780 I didn't want to say anything, 254 00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:22,370 but I was like, "Maeby looks like a 65-year-old." 255 00:10:22,450 --> 00:10:25,200 -What if I told you I was 75? Hmm? -Holy shit. 256 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,660 -You look fantastic. -Right? 257 00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:30,330 It's the teeth. It's the same guy who's doing my meth teeth, 258 00:10:30,420 --> 00:10:32,290 you know, for the family of the year thing. 259 00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:35,380 Where I write a speech for my mom, she talks about how great I am, then... 260 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,050 Then you open your mouth and you're like, 261 00:10:37,130 --> 00:10:39,220 "So why do I have to turn tricks for meth money?" 262 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:41,470 I don't know how you keep all your scams straight. 263 00:10:41,550 --> 00:10:44,560 Well, this old lady one is a big, big score. 264 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:48,230 I mean, when people catch on, they either forget or they die. 265 00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:50,940 [chuckles] And, I mean, this place is a dream. 266 00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:52,440 Nobody even locks their doors. 267 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,980 Of course, what is there to steal? [chuckles] 268 00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:57,150 A few barstools and some family pictures? 269 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:02,160 Anyway, that's how I got those barstools and all these great pictures of grandkids. 270 00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:04,910 -What a beautiful family you've stolen. -Mm. 271 00:11:04,990 --> 00:11:07,910 What are you gonna do if Lucille 2 or the friend she owns this with shows up? 272 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,660 He kind of already has. 273 00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:12,710 [Ron] Maeby had only been in the place for a week 274 00:11:12,790 --> 00:11:16,630 and had spent most of that time trying to trap a swan in her condo... 275 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,010 What's your problem? It's tuna. 276 00:11:18,090 --> 00:11:19,760 ...when she came across a stranger, 277 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,090 whom longtime viewers will be mildly surprised 278 00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:24,850 -to recognize is Stan Sitwell. -Hello. 279 00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:26,600 -[Ron] But whom Maeby did not. -Hello. 280 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,020 Do you live in one of these? 281 00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:30,270 -This one's mine, yes. -Well, that's strange. 282 00:11:30,350 --> 00:11:32,980 Do you realize this condo is listed as Lucille Austero's? 283 00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:34,810 Yes. I am her. 284 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,360 Sister. 285 00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:39,280 -I am her sister. -[swan honks] 286 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:40,610 You're going the wrong way. 287 00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:41,950 Annette? 288 00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:43,740 Great idea. Do you think they have one? 289 00:11:43,820 --> 00:11:44,740 Have what? 290 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:47,450 Annette. Yes, that's me. 291 00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:49,750 [chuckles] And you are? 292 00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:53,000 Stan. I must admit, I'm a little confused right now. 293 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,710 Our agreement was that this place would revert back to me once Lucille... 294 00:11:57,130 --> 00:11:59,380 [dramatic music plays] 295 00:11:59,460 --> 00:12:00,340 [honking] 296 00:12:02,590 --> 00:12:04,430 ...gave up her interest. 297 00:12:05,180 --> 00:12:07,350 Well, I don't know anything about that. 298 00:12:07,430 --> 00:12:09,310 She signed it over to me. 299 00:12:09,390 --> 00:12:11,390 I'd like to see that paperwork. 300 00:12:12,730 --> 00:12:13,600 Yes. 301 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,650 Well, I recently moved here from New Orleans, 302 00:12:16,730 --> 00:12:20,190 -and I... -[Ron] Maeby was proud of this lie. 303 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,700 ...lost all my personal paperwork in Hurricane Cantina. 304 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,620 Ooh. That's complicated. 305 00:12:27,450 --> 00:12:29,080 Yes. It is. 306 00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:32,370 Unless I'm expected to lose a home for the second time. 307 00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:37,000 Of course, I could just pack up my shorty shorts, 308 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,710 my silky pajamas, my peekaboo bras, 309 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,590 my ticklers, sex knobs, and lacy hoo-has 310 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,050 and hit the road. 311 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,430 I can't ask you to do that. 312 00:12:46,510 --> 00:12:47,850 [George Michael] This place is yours? 313 00:12:47,930 --> 00:12:50,260 Not yet, but maybe I'll kick him out sooner than later. 314 00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:53,430 Maybe I'll kick him out once he gets off that goddamn chair. 315 00:12:54,020 --> 00:12:55,390 [George Michael] That's him? 316 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,270 -[Maeby] Yeah. -Why aren't we whispering? 317 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:58,730 Oh. He can't hear a thing. 318 00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:01,110 -He's got horrible aids. -[announcer on TV] Shoedini! 319 00:13:01,190 --> 00:13:03,110 The world's first shoe horn... 320 00:13:03,190 --> 00:13:04,110 Oh, hearing aids. 321 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,070 Yeah, yeah, here they call them aids. 322 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,280 The other ones they call [whispers] aids. 323 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,620 Don't worry, if he asks who you are, I'll just tell him you're Tom Collins. 324 00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:13,750 He's always asking for a Tom Collins. 325 00:13:13,830 --> 00:13:16,870 Believe me, I'm in over my head enough as it is being George Maharis. 326 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,460 Which is what I wanted to talk to you about. 327 00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:21,170 So I told my Dad that I was still dating Rebel. 328 00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:23,920 What? Why'd you do that? 329 00:13:24,010 --> 00:13:25,630 You told me to do it. It was your idea. 330 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,590 -Mm-mm. -I mean, I still haven't even seen her 331 00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:29,180 -since I punched him. -No, no, no. 332 00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:32,600 I told you that your dad is still in love with Rebel. 333 00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:35,600 And that telling him you haven't seen her would be more hurtful. 334 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:38,310 You perverted that into a way to not hurt him. And then I had to turn down this scuba trip, which is also rude, 335 00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:42,780 and if he finds out he's gonna say, 336 00:13:42,860 --> 00:13:45,240 "You lied to me, George Michael, and that's worse." 337 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,240 You know he's gonna say "and that's worse." 338 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,280 You would've had to lie about scuba, 'cause you would've been scared. 339 00:13:50,370 --> 00:13:52,410 Why do you say I'm scared of scuba? I'm not. 340 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,580 You passed out at the aquarium. 341 00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:58,670 They make you feel like you're underwater with all these giant... 342 00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:01,750 -Dolphins? -I think that was some kind of smiling, 343 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,880 kind of bemused baby shark. 344 00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:05,670 I don't know, things are volatile 345 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,760 with my dad right now. It feels very combustible. 346 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,850 Feels like we're on the edge of physical menace or something, 347 00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:14,470 which I've trained myself for, but has he been training, too? 348 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:15,810 What was that in the hallway? 349 00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:17,850 Look. Here's my advice. Okay? 350 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,140 You go to Rebel's, 351 00:14:19,230 --> 00:14:21,650 you take my bag of lacy ticklers, hoo-ha bras, dog toys, 352 00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:22,900 and sex knobs with you. 353 00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:25,110 And you act like you're expecting a booty call, 354 00:14:25,190 --> 00:14:27,150 as the old people think the young people say. 355 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:29,070 All right? You tell her, "I'm here for a quickie, 356 00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:30,200 and I'm out of here." 357 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:33,620 Mr. Brash. And she'll drop you like a buttered cane. 358 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,790 -Something old people say? -Yeah. I'm trying to get it going. 359 00:14:37,830 --> 00:14:39,830 -That's cool. -[Ron] George Michael's father 360 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,080 had drifted farther south than he realized, 361 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,710 despite swimming with a GPS system 362 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,970 that cost roughly as much as Buster's left thumb. 363 00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:50,630 And he soon found himself 364 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,470 on a part of the beach he hadn't been to in over 20 years. 365 00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:56,060 [panting] 366 00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:59,230 ♪ I'm coming home ♪ 367 00:14:59,310 --> 00:15:01,310 ♪ Home, home ♪ 368 00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:03,770 I love that house. 369 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,860 Yeah. My family used to own it back in the '80s. 370 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:10,030 [woman] Too bad they sold it, it's worth a fortune now. 371 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,280 My wife died there. 372 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,660 Ovarian cancer, actually. 373 00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:15,280 -[woman] He's a liar. -And... 374 00:15:15,370 --> 00:15:16,950 He shouldn't have said that. 375 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,950 -[woman] Ignore the man. -Good to see you. 376 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:24,960 [Ron] And Michael decided that perhaps Tobias was right. 377 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:28,300 Perhaps he did need to look the grim truth 378 00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:31,340 of mortality... in the face. 379 00:15:33,050 --> 00:15:35,350 Oh shit, he found out. 380 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,940 [Ron] Michael had just discovered 381 00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:44,310 his family never sold their family cottage. ...lied to me, and that's worse. 382 00:15:46,770 --> 00:15:49,690 I am stunned. I just-- I literally said it would be so great 383 00:15:49,780 --> 00:15:51,740 if my family had kept the cottage. 384 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:52,820 We did. 385 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,740 I know. You shouldn't have. 386 00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:56,410 Well, then either way, you're unhappy. 387 00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:58,160 I mean, pick a lane. 388 00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,620 You pick... you pick a lane. 389 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:02,250 What did you want us to do, Michael? 390 00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:04,790 It was a horrible time for the housing market. 391 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,840 Were we supposed to lose our precious daughter-in-law 392 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,130 and a couple hundred grand in the same year? 393 00:16:10,210 --> 00:16:13,090 -Why didn't you just tell me? -Because we love you. 394 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,260 -And nobody wanted your feelings hurt. -Mm. 395 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,220 -That was rule one. -Rule one? 396 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,100 [Lucille] It slipped down a little when we put in the new floors. 397 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,440 And by that point, you were already dating 398 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,020 and in love with that total re-- 399 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,820 that totally lovely Rita. 400 00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:31,740 Uh, she was a smart cookie, that one. 401 00:16:31,820 --> 00:16:32,990 Nice try, Mom. 402 00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:36,280 And we didn't want to bring up those bad old memories. 403 00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:39,280 Besides, this place already has enough bad ones for me. 404 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,330 My mother died here. 405 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,790 G.O.B. was born here. 406 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:45,830 And I'm sure you've heard, 407 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,880 it was also your father's [bleeps] pad. 408 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,710 Only from the next room. 409 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,590 Please believe me, if I could turn back time, 410 00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:54,590 -I never would've answered that door. -I know. 411 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,550 Were you slightly worried 412 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,260 that I might come out here one day, Mom? 413 00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:03,520 H-Honestly, I never thought you'd get past the guard gate. 414 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,060 I could barely get past them when Tobias and I got here. 415 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,400 Tobias. He's the one that put coming out here 416 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,980 -in my mind in the first place. -He what? 417 00:17:11,070 --> 00:17:13,690 -[Tobias] As a metaphor. -You're out! 418 00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:15,650 But I've already pinked away my sideburns 419 00:17:15,740 --> 00:17:18,780 to play Buster at the family of the year ceremony tonight. 420 00:17:18,870 --> 00:17:20,530 And Buster's already invited a date. 421 00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:23,910 [imitating Buster] Come out and meet your boyfriend, Lucille. 422 00:17:24,330 --> 00:17:26,290 -[indistinct chatter] -[Tobias clears throat] 423 00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:28,000 -Murph? -[muttering] 424 00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:32,000 Oh, I see you finally figured out how to use that contraption. 425 00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:33,090 I'm on the phone. 426 00:17:33,170 --> 00:17:34,420 -Just one second. -What? I'm talking on the phone. 427 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,260 Who are you talking to? 428 00:17:37,340 --> 00:17:39,850 Didn't you tell me I was supposed to be busting with my girlfriend? 429 00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:42,310 I said, you're Buster's girlfriend. 430 00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:43,890 Oh. Hang on. 431 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:45,850 Wait. Wait. 432 00:17:45,930 --> 00:17:48,980 -Am I supposed-- Am I your boyfriend? -No! 433 00:17:49,060 --> 00:17:51,860 You are-- I'm-- A girl. 434 00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:55,400 You're a girl, Linds, uh, Murphy B-- Lucille. 435 00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:58,780 -Is he supposed to be me? -Uh-uh-uh, Lucille Number 2. 436 00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,870 She's quite the grande dame. 437 00:18:00,950 --> 00:18:03,450 It's basically Michael without the peanut pockets. 438 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:06,000 You know, you're playing her like you played 439 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,210 that stammering mess of a Buster, and it won't do. 440 00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:12,000 Sometimes I don't even think that you want to be an actor. 441 00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:15,300 Actually, sometimes, I think I want to be a dog doctor. Ow! 442 00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:17,550 [Tobias] This is the role of a lifetime. 443 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:18,930 Now, I know 50 gentlemen 444 00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:21,470 who would tuck their last nut to play this part. 445 00:18:21,550 --> 00:18:24,180 Okay? Now, he saves it for the day. 446 00:18:24,260 --> 00:18:27,730 When you see him at the campaign event, you'll think you're looking at 447 00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:31,980 a 72-year-old pink mustachioed Lucille Austero. 448 00:18:32,060 --> 00:18:35,690 -We can't have Lucille Austero! -We can't have Lucille Austero. 449 00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:37,530 She's running against Lindsay, for God's sake. 450 00:18:37,610 --> 00:18:38,530 [Tobias] For God's sake. 451 00:18:38,610 --> 00:18:40,700 I don't even know why I'm having this conversation. 452 00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:43,120 You're out! We don't even need a Buster. 453 00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:45,660 Well, at least you're being honest about that. 454 00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:47,450 So you admit you've got Buster. 455 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:50,750 This again? Why would I hide Buster from you? 456 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,580 You want me to think that he's missing. 457 00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:54,630 You're trying to teach me a lesson. You're trying to get even 458 00:18:54,710 --> 00:18:56,130 because I'm trying to teach... 459 00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:58,590 I don't know why you're trying 460 00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,880 to teach me a lesson, so lesson not learned, Mother. 461 00:19:00,970 --> 00:19:02,640 Michael, did you do something 462 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,140 for which we should be teaching you a lesson? 463 00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:06,640 -[banging] -[man] Mother! 464 00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:12,100 He's here, isn't he? 465 00:19:12,190 --> 00:19:13,650 Tell me he's not in that bedroom, 466 00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,270 -not where Tracey... -Don't go in there. 467 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,400 ...spent her last... [clicks tongue] 468 00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:20,900 Oh, someone told Michael. 469 00:19:20,990 --> 00:19:23,410 Does this mean we can start leaving towels on the floor? 470 00:19:23,490 --> 00:19:24,700 What are you doing? 471 00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:27,240 I'm making this into a trophy for Dad. 472 00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:29,040 I can't wait to see the one you got yourself. 473 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,910 Uh, yeah, Michael. [scoffs] Please. 474 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,630 I'm the president or CEO or whatever of the Bluth Company. 475 00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:35,960 I control the company checkbook, so I don't need 476 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,800 false things to make me feel important. 477 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,970 -Okay. -There's no trophy for that. 478 00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:42,470 [Ron] Although he did visit 479 00:19:42,550 --> 00:19:45,470 -a trophy store earlier that day. -It's a good time to be in this business. 480 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,810 Everyone gets a trophy. 481 00:19:47,890 --> 00:19:49,730 I tell people to stay away from the business. 482 00:19:50,140 --> 00:19:52,230 It's always been a lousy business, and these days 483 00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:54,150 -everybody shops online. -Everybody gets a trophy. 484 00:19:54,690 --> 00:19:56,360 A trophy, huh? Yeah. 485 00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:58,780 Well, that may be, but tell me this, 486 00:19:58,860 --> 00:20:02,280 how many people get a whole [bleeps] trophy store? 487 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:05,240 Oh, yeah. 488 00:20:06,490 --> 00:20:07,950 You can't be serious. 489 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,000 So the guy was like, "Are you shitting me?" 490 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,830 That's usually the sign that you've made yourself a great deal. 491 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:17,090 So, I told him, "I'm gonna need you to cobble together one last trophy, 492 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,250 old trophy cobbler, 493 00:20:19,340 --> 00:20:21,590 for the family of the year ceremony tonight." 494 00:20:21,670 --> 00:20:24,970 And I said, "I want you to find the biggest golden anchor you can find." 495 00:20:26,010 --> 00:20:27,470 So they didn't have one of those? 496 00:20:27,550 --> 00:20:29,430 No, he didn't even have keys to the back room. Also, the heat doesn't turn off. 497 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,640 This took a couple hours, so once I give this to Dad, 498 00:20:33,730 --> 00:20:36,900 then I'll have Joni Beard give me the deed to the trophy store. 499 00:20:36,980 --> 00:20:39,070 -Wait till you see it! -[spray paint can hisses] 500 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,400 I'm not gonna be there. Oh, uh... 501 00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:45,160 let me ask you a question, and I want you to be honest with me. 502 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,030 Are you doing something with Busty? 503 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:51,120 [Ron] Michael was referring to his missing brother, Buster. 504 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:55,040 But G.O.B., who hadn't been with a woman since he'd gotten closer to this man... 505 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:57,130 I was wondering what you were going to pop out of. 506 00:20:57,210 --> 00:20:58,840 -...I mean this one... -Vámonos. 507 00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:03,630 ...thought that "Busty" was referring to this woman... 508 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,010 Where's the nitrous? 509 00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:07,510 ...whom he really hadn't done much fooling with at all. 510 00:21:07,590 --> 00:21:09,100 Which is why he answered... 511 00:21:10,510 --> 00:21:12,220 -eventually... -Yes. 512 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,900 [Michael] Got my answer. 513 00:21:17,020 --> 00:21:19,480 You really don't care about your children's feelings, do you? 514 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,400 Oh, you're one to give parenting lessons. 515 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,990 I hear I'm not the only one whose son has a nasty left hook. 516 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,030 Hmm, yeah, well... 517 00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:29,240 You know, at least he did something 518 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,780 that we have not been able to do. 519 00:21:30,870 --> 00:21:32,870 He stood up for himself when his father was wrong. 520 00:21:32,950 --> 00:21:34,580 In fact, it might be the thing 521 00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:36,290 that I'm most proud of him for. 522 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:37,500 Hope he knows that. 523 00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:39,380 Uh, he definitely does not. 524 00:21:40,710 --> 00:21:42,090 -What's that? -I just saw him-- 525 00:21:42,170 --> 00:21:45,220 uh, heard him, rather-- at the model home when I was on my way out. 526 00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:47,630 -George Michael's at the model home? -Well, if it wasn't him, 527 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,180 it was somebody who certainly did 528 00:21:49,260 --> 00:21:53,060 a heck of a lot better impression of him than me. [laughs] 529 00:21:53,810 --> 00:21:56,230 -Well, that could be anyone. -Well, well... 530 00:21:58,190 --> 00:21:59,520 Goodbye forever. 531 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:00,480 See you tonight. 532 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,900 -See you tonight. -[Michael] See you tonight. 533 00:22:02,980 --> 00:22:06,110 [Ron] So, Michael changed and raced to the model home. 534 00:22:06,190 --> 00:22:08,240 But his hopes for an emotional 535 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:09,280 -father-son reunion... -Hey. 536 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:12,080 I'm sorry if things got, uh... Are you crying? Hey. 537 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:13,200 ...were ruined... 538 00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:14,370 -Hey. -[Michael] Oh. 539 00:22:14,450 --> 00:22:16,710 ...by an emotional father-son reunion. 540 00:22:16,790 --> 00:22:17,830 Tonight's the big night. 541 00:22:17,910 --> 00:22:19,420 Family of the year day. 542 00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,340 What are you doing in George Michael's bed? 543 00:22:21,420 --> 00:22:24,210 Oh... just a little... 544 00:22:24,590 --> 00:22:27,130 [sniffles] ...just a little weep and sleep, you know. 545 00:22:27,220 --> 00:22:28,260 -Uh-huh. -Yeah. 546 00:22:28,340 --> 00:22:29,800 Want to be the big man, so... 547 00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:33,470 Can't do it at the office, obviously, and Lindsay's at the penthouse, 548 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,100 and I can't go to the cot... 549 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,770 Well, we don't... We only... we only have the penthouse, 550 00:22:38,850 --> 00:22:40,350 -so I-I, uh, I came here. -Mmm. 551 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:41,730 I know about the cottage. 552 00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:43,400 -I hated that rule. -Okay. 553 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:44,940 -Michael? -Hmm. 554 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:47,150 -I hated both rules. -Oh, yeah, the towels. 555 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:48,490 Can I ask you a question? 556 00:22:48,570 --> 00:22:50,110 How'd you get past the guard gate? 557 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,660 I came from the water. 558 00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:55,450 I knew it. I told her. I told her, "He's gonna take us from the beach." 559 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:57,830 Well, I am glad. I am glad you did. 560 00:22:58,290 --> 00:23:00,620 Yeah, it's just your mother and her rules. 561 00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:04,040 And I hated "no sand in the living room." 562 00:23:04,130 --> 00:23:05,670 [voice breaking] Why have a beach house 563 00:23:05,750 --> 00:23:08,380 if every member of the family can't enjoy it? 564 00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:10,720 You look like you're not enjoying anything. 565 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:11,970 -You all right? -Yeah. 566 00:23:12,050 --> 00:23:13,470 Your mom and I are... 567 00:23:13,550 --> 00:23:15,390 [clears throat] We're not together. 568 00:23:15,470 --> 00:23:17,060 We're not together in the... 569 00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:19,560 well, I guess in, uh, every meaning of that word. 570 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,270 I assumed that, but, uh, why aren't you enjoying that? 571 00:23:22,350 --> 00:23:25,900 Because your mom is being courted, Michael. 572 00:23:27,190 --> 00:23:28,610 Someone is fawning all over her. 573 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,070 -I knew she had Buster. -No. 574 00:23:31,150 --> 00:23:33,160 -I knew it. -This one's not Buster. 575 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,330 I mean, I wish that guy was Buster. 576 00:23:35,410 --> 00:23:37,830 Him I could fight, you know? You see, 577 00:23:37,910 --> 00:23:39,330 this guy got past me. 578 00:23:39,410 --> 00:23:41,670 How can your mother do this to me? 579 00:23:41,750 --> 00:23:43,960 I knew I should've sold that property 580 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,000 when Stacy died. 581 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,130 Tracey. 582 00:23:47,210 --> 00:23:48,800 No, we would've lost a fortune 583 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,260 if we sold when Tracey died. 584 00:23:51,340 --> 00:23:53,930 No, Stacy was the paralegal I used to bring out there 585 00:23:54,010 --> 00:23:55,260 who went into insulin shock 586 00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:57,390 at the very height of the market. 587 00:23:58,060 --> 00:23:58,890 Sad. 588 00:23:58,970 --> 00:24:00,350 How can she do this to me? 589 00:24:00,430 --> 00:24:01,600 -[crying] -Yeah. 590 00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:03,270 How can your mother do this? 591 00:24:03,350 --> 00:24:05,810 [Ron] Actually, she hadn't done anything yet. 592 00:24:05,900 --> 00:24:08,900 But a few weeks earlier at the cottage... 593 00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:12,320 When my daughter wins this election, we're going to be wall-to-wall wall. 594 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,820 Zàijiàn. 595 00:24:13,910 --> 00:24:16,870 ...a nuisance washed up on her beach. 596 00:24:16,950 --> 00:24:18,120 You know, I smashed my phone 597 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,200 a couple years ago, too. With a hammer. 598 00:24:20,290 --> 00:24:21,620 Never missed it. 599 00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:24,000 Miss the hammer, but I guess that's why 600 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,380 God made rocks. 601 00:24:25,460 --> 00:24:26,790 But God made those rocks 602 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:28,960 and put them in front of my cottage for me, 603 00:24:29,050 --> 00:24:30,630 so let's just leave them there. 604 00:24:31,170 --> 00:24:32,800 I know the law pretty well, 605 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,680 and I can pick up any rock I want. 606 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,930 Well, what do you use those for, anyway, Sand Hippie? 607 00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,720 -Making a yoga garden? -No. 608 00:24:39,810 --> 00:24:42,180 I throw 'em at people that got no business 609 00:24:42,270 --> 00:24:43,940 being on this part of the beach. 610 00:24:44,020 --> 00:24:45,900 [Ron] He had done so for years... 611 00:24:45,980 --> 00:24:48,360 Van Halen was in town this weekend rocking audiences. 612 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:51,280 But some beachgoers are getting rocked in a different way 613 00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:54,570 by a group calling themselves the Newport Bay Boys. 614 00:24:54,650 --> 00:24:57,410 [Ron] ...in what started as a cool, rich kid surfer gang 615 00:24:57,490 --> 00:24:58,780 that had been possessive 616 00:24:58,870 --> 00:25:01,330 about Newport's most beautiful cove... 617 00:25:01,410 --> 00:25:03,410 Nirvana was in town this weekend rocking audiences. 618 00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:06,750 But some beachgoers are getting rocked in a different way... 619 00:25:06,830 --> 00:25:08,040 [Ron] ...and became a group 620 00:25:08,130 --> 00:25:10,670 of kind of hip, middle-aged surfer men 621 00:25:10,750 --> 00:25:12,300 defending their coastline. 622 00:25:12,380 --> 00:25:15,050 50 Cent was in town this weekend rocking audiences, 623 00:25:15,130 --> 00:25:18,510 but some beachgoers are getting rocked in a different way. 624 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,810 I think we're good, guys. They're gone. 625 00:25:21,310 --> 00:25:22,470 Yeah, they're gone. 626 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:23,810 I'm Dusty. 627 00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:25,390 [Lucille] That's a nice way to say it. 628 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,480 But let's not make a habit of this, shall we? 629 00:25:27,810 --> 00:25:29,520 Now, take your bucket full of rocks 630 00:25:29,610 --> 00:25:30,770 and be gone. 631 00:25:30,860 --> 00:25:32,980 [Ron] But a habit of it he did make. 632 00:25:54,460 --> 00:25:55,470 Hey! 633 00:25:55,550 --> 00:25:58,390 Get off my beach, you stupid seagulls. 634 00:25:59,470 --> 00:26:00,470 Oh, hi. 635 00:26:01,050 --> 00:26:03,600 Care to join me for a glass of breakfast wine? 636 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,060 [Ron] And before long, they were in the first stages 637 00:26:06,140 --> 00:26:07,440 of a beautiful 638 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,900 early October-late November relationship. 639 00:26:12,900 --> 00:26:14,280 I mean, he's attracted to her. 640 00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:16,110 He's attracted to her. 641 00:26:16,740 --> 00:26:19,280 I'm sorry. Why would he be attracted to her if he's blind? 642 00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:21,700 And how did he burn off his fingertips? 643 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:23,990 I have no idea what you're talking about. 644 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,330 I may have added the fingertips. 645 00:26:26,410 --> 00:26:28,370 I assume if he's blind, he's gotta feel her face. 646 00:26:28,460 --> 00:26:30,380 But you said you never saw him touch her face? 647 00:26:30,460 --> 00:26:31,880 I never said he was blind. 648 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,000 Look, I'm sure it's nothing. It's probably just 649 00:26:34,090 --> 00:26:36,800 some harmless one-way flirting. You know, or a Russian prank show. 650 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,970 Maybe I deserve it, you know, 651 00:26:39,050 --> 00:26:40,430 'cause I can't, uh... 652 00:26:40,510 --> 00:26:42,890 I can't deliver the goods. [sighs] 653 00:26:42,970 --> 00:26:44,510 I shouldn't have lied to you, Michael. 654 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:45,600 I'm not one to judge. 655 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,520 You know, look, I just... I just told my son 656 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,440 that I broke up with the woman that he's seeing, 657 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:51,610 and in retrospect, 658 00:26:51,690 --> 00:26:53,690 I don't know, maybe she did not hear 659 00:26:53,770 --> 00:26:57,070 "I'm leaving" when I said, uh, "I ain't going nowhere." 660 00:26:57,150 --> 00:26:59,240 Sounds like a "goodbye forever" to me. 661 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,530 Right? But if she tells my son, uh, what I said, 662 00:27:02,620 --> 00:27:04,410 you know what he's gonna say. 663 00:27:04,490 --> 00:27:06,330 Uh, "You lied, and that's worse." 664 00:27:06,410 --> 00:27:09,160 Yeah, you know, they can't wait to say stuff like that. 665 00:27:09,250 --> 00:27:11,000 Mm-hmm. Well, 666 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,790 I gotta tell her that that's the last she's gonna see of me. 667 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,300 Yeah. I mean, at least it won't destroy her life 668 00:27:16,380 --> 00:27:17,670 like your mother did mine. 669 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,550 Yep. You gonna be okay here? 670 00:27:20,510 --> 00:27:22,720 -I ain't going nowhere. -Perfect. 671 00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:27,270 -[door closes] -[sobbing]