1 00:00:01,588 --> 00:00:03,647 Previously on Arrested Development. 2 00:00:03,757 --> 00:00:06,817 Michael and his son were camping out at the family cabin... 3 00:00:06,927 --> 00:00:10,829 - before it was to be relocated. - I'm just in the middle of a stupid girl problem. 4 00:00:10,931 --> 00:00:13,991 I don't even have a girl, much less a stupid one. 5 00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:16,331 No, the problem is stupid. The girl isn't stupid. 6 00:00:16,436 --> 00:00:18,904 But if they ever had a child, it would be... 7 00:00:19,006 --> 00:00:20,769 because the girl was his cousin Maeby. 8 00:00:20,874 --> 00:00:23,900 Tomorrow morning, before we tell the cops that that's not Pop-Pop in prison... 9 00:00:24,011 --> 00:00:26,206 we're gonna go down to the lake, we're gonna discuss... 10 00:00:26,313 --> 00:00:28,281 your girl problem man-to-man, and it's gonna be fun. 11 00:00:28,382 --> 00:00:30,282 Especially the part about the cops. 12 00:00:30,384 --> 00:00:32,909 But Pop-Pop had other plans... 13 00:00:34,554 --> 00:00:38,547 and Michael awoke to find his camping trip going south. 14 00:00:38,658 --> 00:00:41,183 Well, you better get up now if you want to see the lake. 15 00:00:43,163 --> 00:00:46,098 And that was when George Sr. Made a desperate plea. 16 00:00:46,199 --> 00:00:48,690 Promise me you won't send me back to prison... 17 00:00:48,802 --> 00:00:52,238 so I can be with my dear love Lucille... 18 00:00:52,339 --> 00:00:54,239 in the twilight of her face. 19 00:00:54,341 --> 00:00:57,139 Michael didn't send his father back to prison... 20 00:00:57,244 --> 00:01:00,702 but instead arranged for him to be placed under house arrest. 21 00:01:00,814 --> 00:01:02,873 George, we're never going to be... 22 00:01:02,983 --> 00:01:04,883 out of each other's sight. 23 00:01:04,985 --> 00:01:07,215 Which made this woman his warden. 24 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:10,983 Oh, dear God. Send me back to prison. 25 00:01:11,091 --> 00:01:13,150 - You gotta send me back to prison. - More touching. 26 00:01:17,664 --> 00:01:19,962 Michael went to his parents’ penthouse to discuss... 27 00:01:20,067 --> 00:01:22,558 his father's ever-worsening legal situation. 28 00:01:22,669 --> 00:01:24,569 - Where is everybody? - How should I know, Michael? 29 00:01:24,671 --> 00:01:27,469 As soon as Father came back, I've been like the Invisible Man. 30 00:01:27,574 --> 00:01:30,509 "Hello! Can anyone see me?" 31 00:01:30,610 --> 00:01:33,477 - Where's your hand, anyway? - Why even bother getting dressed up? 32 00:01:33,580 --> 00:01:36,572 - I have no one. - Buster, come on now. 33 00:01:36,683 --> 00:01:38,583 If you're really lonely, maybe it's time you went out there... 34 00:01:38,685 --> 00:01:41,313 and you got yourself a girlf... A pet. 35 00:01:41,421 --> 00:01:43,912 - How about a turtle? - Great. 36 00:01:44,024 --> 00:01:46,925 I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. 37 00:01:47,027 --> 00:01:48,927 You certainly have a type. 38 00:01:49,029 --> 00:01:51,497 Mother, have you seen my rubber hand? 39 00:01:51,598 --> 00:01:54,431 Oh, it's in the dishwasher. Your father and I were using it for something. 40 00:01:54,534 --> 00:01:56,434 Oh, for God's sake. 41 00:01:56,536 --> 00:02:00,973 - Can't you keep my hand to yourself? - Uh, "used it for something"? 42 00:02:01,074 --> 00:02:03,099 He's just jealous that I have a man back in my life. 43 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:06,202 And guess what else is back. 44 00:02:07,814 --> 00:02:11,215 - My breakfast? - My friskiness. 45 00:02:11,318 --> 00:02:15,482 - Mama horny, Michael. - No, it's my breakfast. 46 00:02:15,589 --> 00:02:18,558 I'm amazed Dad hasn't strangled himself with his belt yet. 47 00:02:18,658 --> 00:02:22,025 Oh, we're into all kinds of freaky stuff. 48 00:02:22,129 --> 00:02:25,189 Why do I eat breakfast before I come here? 49 00:02:25,298 --> 00:02:27,562 What the hell is this? 50 00:02:27,667 --> 00:02:30,067 Well, now that Dad's back, I'm going to perform... 51 00:02:30,170 --> 00:02:33,799 one grand illusion for him before he strangles himself with his belt. 52 00:02:33,907 --> 00:02:36,307 - No, no. Turns out they're into that. - Oh. 53 00:02:36,409 --> 00:02:39,242 Well, check it. The illusion is called "Free Bird." 54 00:02:39,346 --> 00:02:43,305 A magical bird... me in a beak... stands on a platform. 55 00:02:43,416 --> 00:02:45,748 There's a puff of smoke, then I'm gone. 56 00:02:45,852 --> 00:02:49,049 Then seconds later, high above in a once-empty cage... 57 00:02:49,156 --> 00:02:51,681 - Who should appear? - A guy that kind of looks like you? 58 00:02:51,791 --> 00:02:54,316 No. Not how I do the trick. 59 00:02:54,427 --> 00:02:57,726 Even if it was, how'd the look-alike get up there? 60 00:02:57,831 --> 00:03:00,026 - He was hiding behind this mirror here? - No! 61 00:03:00,133 --> 00:03:02,363 For your information, Dad asked me to do this... 62 00:03:02,469 --> 00:03:04,369 on the day he pleads not guilty... 63 00:03:04,471 --> 00:03:06,598 as a spectacular protest. 64 00:03:06,706 --> 00:03:08,936 A "protest-acular." 65 00:03:09,042 --> 00:03:11,340 Maybe even get it on the local news. 66 00:03:11,444 --> 00:03:14,174 Excuse me. I was just looking for a marker... 67 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:17,512 A Magic Marker. 68 00:03:17,617 --> 00:03:20,450 I want it out of my living room. Put it in Buster's room. 69 00:03:20,554 --> 00:03:23,148 That's where she keeps things she has no need for. 70 00:03:23,256 --> 00:03:25,417 Oh, God. 71 00:03:25,525 --> 00:03:27,925 I'm gonna run this through again on "Pots and Pans." 72 00:03:28,028 --> 00:03:31,725 You know, Gob, instead of trying to impress a father that couldn't care less about you... 73 00:03:31,831 --> 00:03:33,731 why don't you try spending some time with your son... 74 00:03:33,833 --> 00:03:36,131 who's dying to reconnect with you? 75 00:03:36,236 --> 00:03:38,568 Gob had discovered he was the father of this boy. 76 00:03:38,672 --> 00:03:42,233 - Well, then just tell him that Steve Holt stopped by, okay? - Okay. 77 00:03:42,342 --> 00:03:44,242 He'd been ducking him ever since. 78 00:03:44,344 --> 00:03:47,711 Tom? Come on over here. I've got a vitamin for you. 79 00:03:47,814 --> 00:03:50,305 - He's the one who can't see me. - Because you were hiding in the trick? 80 00:03:50,417 --> 00:03:53,978 Illusion, Michael. 81 00:03:54,087 --> 00:03:56,055 I so very much would like to be... 82 00:03:56,156 --> 00:03:58,056 in your "prostate-icular"... 83 00:03:58,158 --> 00:04:00,956 - as your look-alike. - Right. 84 00:04:01,061 --> 00:04:03,052 They're gonna see the ink. It's more of a leading man role. 85 00:04:03,163 --> 00:04:05,597 But it's not really done that way. 86 00:04:05,699 --> 00:04:10,159 Guess I shouldn't have used a permanent marker. 87 00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,465 Starting to see why you want that divorce. 88 00:04:13,573 --> 00:04:15,905 Yeah, well, actually, I've been thinking. 89 00:04:16,009 --> 00:04:17,909 Instead of spending money on a divorce... 90 00:04:18,011 --> 00:04:21,640 which can be slow... well, maybe I should get something faster. 91 00:04:21,748 --> 00:04:23,739 Not the car. I said no to the Volvo. 92 00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:26,842 The Lexus. The Volvo didn't have satellite radio, which is crazy. 93 00:04:26,953 --> 00:04:28,853 I mean, what are we, Amish? 94 00:04:28,955 --> 00:04:30,820 I knew you wouldn't have the guts to go through with the divorce. 95 00:04:30,924 --> 00:04:33,586 You're one to talk. You haven't had a serious relationship since your wife. 96 00:04:33,693 --> 00:04:37,424 And... you guys weren't even speaking toward the end. 97 00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:40,829 - Lot of that was the coma. - Yeah. I've heard your side of it. 98 00:04:40,934 --> 00:04:43,926 You haven't had the guts to meet someone else. 99 00:04:44,037 --> 00:04:47,837 - Uh... - Look who finally got his pants on. 100 00:04:47,941 --> 00:04:49,841 You've got 10 minutes. 101 00:04:49,943 --> 00:04:51,911 You gotta get me out of here. 102 00:04:52,012 --> 00:04:54,105 You're the one that said no to prison. 103 00:04:54,214 --> 00:04:57,047 I was wrong. There you just had to shut your eyes and take it. 104 00:04:57,150 --> 00:05:00,210 Here you have to shut your eyes and give it. Now listen. 105 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,220 We can't just go in there and plead not guilty. 106 00:05:02,322 --> 00:05:05,223 We have to have someone big behind us. Our own private Matlock. 107 00:05:05,325 --> 00:05:07,190 So I made some calls, and I got him. 108 00:05:07,294 --> 00:05:09,455 - Got who? - Andy Griffith. 109 00:05:09,562 --> 00:05:11,860 - What, you never saw Matlock? - Not a real attorney, Dad. 110 00:05:13,133 --> 00:05:15,033 Now, for 10 grand, he'll actually... 111 00:05:15,135 --> 00:05:17,695 sit behind us in court and read the paper. 112 00:05:17,804 --> 00:05:20,898 For 15, he'll actually sit at the defense table. 113 00:05:21,007 --> 00:05:23,635 For $20,000, he'll twice... 114 00:05:23,743 --> 00:05:27,975 lean forward and whisper something in your ear. 115 00:05:28,081 --> 00:05:30,140 Oh. White suit... That's extra. 116 00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:33,686 Well, that's an awful lot of money for the stupidest idea I've ever heard. 117 00:05:33,787 --> 00:05:36,312 - The juries love him. - That's just it, Dad. 118 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:39,722 There won't be a jury because we are pleading guilty. 119 00:05:39,826 --> 00:05:43,193 I am not guilt... I didn't want to tell you this. 120 00:05:43,296 --> 00:05:46,390 - Ready for the bombshell? - Andy Griffith wasn't the bombshell? 121 00:05:46,499 --> 00:05:50,060 I'm a patsy. I was set up... by the Brits. 122 00:05:50,170 --> 00:05:53,571 A group of British builders operating outside the OC... 123 00:05:53,673 --> 00:05:55,573 - Don't call it that. - Contacted me... 124 00:05:55,675 --> 00:05:58,041 for a partnership to build homes overseas. 125 00:05:58,144 --> 00:06:00,840 I did not know they meant Iraq. 126 00:06:00,947 --> 00:06:02,744 We've got a picture of you with Saddam Hussein. 127 00:06:02,849 --> 00:06:05,875 I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi. 128 00:06:05,985 --> 00:06:08,545 - Come on. - I told him how much I liked his work. 129 00:06:08,655 --> 00:06:11,351 The Brits used that picture to blackmail me. 130 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:14,120 A picture like that, Michael, can end your career. 131 00:06:14,227 --> 00:06:16,787 Not in every case. 132 00:06:16,896 --> 00:06:18,887 These are dangerous people, Michael. They'll do whatever it takes... 133 00:06:18,998 --> 00:06:21,523 to get inside this family and just bring us down. 134 00:06:21,634 --> 00:06:25,536 - British people. - Oh, they're polite and the men all sound gay... 135 00:06:25,638 --> 00:06:28,198 but they will rip out your heart and... 136 00:06:28,308 --> 00:06:31,277 - Their breath... - And you want to go after these people? 137 00:06:31,378 --> 00:06:33,710 Well, yes, it takes a little courage, Michael. 138 00:06:33,813 --> 00:06:35,713 I know that's not your strongest suit. 139 00:06:35,815 --> 00:06:39,216 You're... You're even scared to ask a girl out on a date. 140 00:06:39,319 --> 00:06:42,152 Wh... Why does everybody think that I'm scared of girls? 141 00:06:42,255 --> 00:06:43,984 - Because you're a chicken. You're a chicken. - No, I'm not. 142 00:06:47,090 --> 00:06:49,050 What are you doing? 143 00:06:49,162 --> 00:06:51,221 Michael and women? 144 00:06:51,331 --> 00:06:53,925 That's what I was just telling him. 145 00:06:54,033 --> 00:06:55,933 Look, I haven't found the right girl. 146 00:06:56,035 --> 00:06:57,935 When I do, I will ask her out. 147 00:06:58,037 --> 00:07:00,767 Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken? 148 00:07:00,874 --> 00:07:03,001 Wait, wait. I've got the perfect thing! 149 00:07:03,109 --> 00:07:05,737 That's enough. I will give it one day. 150 00:07:05,845 --> 00:07:08,336 All right? I'll see if there's any evidence of these nefarious Brits. 151 00:07:08,448 --> 00:07:11,474 But I'm warning you... If I can't, we're pleading guilty. 152 00:07:11,584 --> 00:07:14,849 You're either going to jail, of if the judge shows absolutely no mercy at all... 153 00:07:14,954 --> 00:07:17,184 you'll be staying here with my mother. 154 00:07:17,290 --> 00:07:19,850 Lindsay, I didn't want to tell you earlier, but I did get you a car. 155 00:07:19,959 --> 00:07:22,587 - Is it the Lexus? - It's more like a Lincoln. 156 00:07:31,137 --> 00:07:33,105 Oh, come on! 157 00:07:33,206 --> 00:07:36,039 There's no satellite radio, but there's a banjo in the closet. 158 00:07:36,142 --> 00:07:38,303 And watch out for live-ins. 159 00:07:38,411 --> 00:07:41,005 You will get some live-ins. 160 00:07:47,586 --> 00:07:49,816 Michael was investigating his father's case... 161 00:07:49,922 --> 00:07:53,016 in the English section of Orange County. 162 00:07:53,125 --> 00:07:55,025 Lanes reverse! 163 00:07:55,127 --> 00:07:57,721 You're driving on the wrong side, you bloomin' idiot! 164 00:07:57,830 --> 00:07:59,661 I need to check the records... 165 00:07:59,765 --> 00:08:01,630 for any British-owned building businesses... 166 00:08:01,733 --> 00:08:04,293 that would have applied for license about 10 years ago. 167 00:08:04,403 --> 00:08:08,669 Oh, I'm so sorry. You need a U.K. Passport to check those files. 168 00:08:08,774 --> 00:08:11,572 They're for British eyes only. 169 00:08:13,679 --> 00:08:15,510 Don't I look kind of British? 170 00:08:15,614 --> 00:08:17,639 Perhaps if you're willing to lose 20 pounds. 171 00:08:17,749 --> 00:08:19,649 The clerk was asking for a bribe... 172 00:08:19,751 --> 00:08:23,517 - but this was lost on Michael. - You guys do go for the jugular. 173 00:08:23,622 --> 00:08:26,022 If you find someone with a passport, we're here till 8:00... 174 00:08:26,124 --> 00:08:28,649 and do stay for the Poppins. 175 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,660 So Michael went to the local pub... 176 00:08:30,762 --> 00:08:33,026 - Bloody Yank! - to see if he could find someone... 177 00:08:33,131 --> 00:08:35,725 - with a British passport. - Welcome to the Yellow Fang. 178 00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:38,268 I am Lionel, and the soup of the day is... 179 00:08:38,370 --> 00:08:40,565 What's the soup of the day, Mum? 180 00:08:40,672 --> 00:08:44,005 - Bread. - And the soup of the day is bread... 181 00:08:44,109 --> 00:08:46,077 Unless you’re just here for the Poppins. 182 00:08:46,178 --> 00:08:49,841 And that's when Michael saw the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. 183 00:08:49,948 --> 00:08:51,882 Not her. 184 00:08:51,984 --> 00:08:53,884 Wait for it. 185 00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:02,116 Are you from Wee Britain? 186 00:09:02,227 --> 00:09:04,195 Great Britain, actually. 187 00:09:04,296 --> 00:09:07,231 I was wondering if you might be willing to go somewhere with me. 188 00:09:07,332 --> 00:09:11,200 - I will pay you. - You'll pay me? 189 00:09:11,303 --> 00:09:15,000 Not... Not for sex. You're gonna think that I'm Jack the Ripper, right? 190 00:09:15,107 --> 00:09:18,474 - Didn't he kill prostitutes or... - I'm not a prostitute. 191 00:09:18,577 --> 00:09:21,444 Then I shall let you live. 192 00:09:21,547 --> 00:09:24,710 This is my worst hello. Let me try again. 193 00:09:24,816 --> 00:09:27,216 - My name is Michael. - Rita. 194 00:09:27,319 --> 00:09:29,219 So I need access to these files... 195 00:09:29,321 --> 00:09:31,516 that are apparently for British eyes only. 196 00:09:31,623 --> 00:09:36,287 Well, lucky for you, my whole face is British. 197 00:09:39,264 --> 00:09:42,062 It's just across the street. I really appreciate... Hello. 198 00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:44,465 - I thought you said you were open till 8:00. - Oh, yes... GMT. 199 00:09:44,570 --> 00:09:47,471 Everything here is on Greenwich mean time. 200 00:09:47,573 --> 00:09:50,167 What a curious street. 201 00:09:50,275 --> 00:09:54,177 Uh... Wait, wait, Rita. I don't suppose that you're here tomorrow morning? 202 00:09:54,279 --> 00:09:57,271 Oh, no. Not in the morning, no. I'll be back at Slowbrooke. 203 00:09:57,382 --> 00:10:00,283 Slowbrooke... The private school. You teach kids, huh? 204 00:10:00,385 --> 00:10:02,444 I like to think they teach me. 205 00:10:02,554 --> 00:10:05,114 - Like what? How to eat crayons, throw tantrums... - Oh, no. 206 00:10:05,223 --> 00:10:08,021 Not when I'm there. I'm very good. 207 00:10:08,126 --> 00:10:12,119 I didn't mean to impugn your ability or, uh... 208 00:10:12,230 --> 00:10:14,630 It's turning into one of my worst good-byes. 209 00:10:14,733 --> 00:10:17,031 Farewell, and, uh... 210 00:10:17,135 --> 00:10:19,763 our paths shan't cross again. 211 00:10:19,871 --> 00:10:22,271 As you like it. 212 00:10:22,374 --> 00:10:24,137 Michael would have walked away forever... 213 00:10:24,242 --> 00:10:26,107 but he was struck by something he remembered... 214 00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:28,805 - from his childhood. - You know... 215 00:10:28,914 --> 00:10:31,712 Ladies and gentlemen, it's the flight of the Mary Poppins. 216 00:10:31,817 --> 00:10:34,980 - Mary Poppins will take... - Well, must be the Poppins. 217 00:10:35,087 --> 00:10:38,181 Oh, I'm sorry. It's wrong to laugh. 218 00:10:38,290 --> 00:10:41,691 No, no, it was good. I liked it. I was just gonna ask you... 219 00:10:41,793 --> 00:10:43,693 Pre-schools just go half day, right? 220 00:10:43,795 --> 00:10:46,764 I'm not trying to pick you up, but is there any way that I can come by... 221 00:10:46,865 --> 00:10:49,629 - pick you up, bring you here? - Yeah, l... I, uh... 222 00:10:49,735 --> 00:10:53,296 I suppose I could sneak out at nap time. 223 00:10:53,405 --> 00:10:55,305 - Yes? Perfect. Great. - Mmm. 224 00:10:55,407 --> 00:10:57,637 And I shall drop you off alive, hooker or no. 225 00:11:00,345 --> 00:11:02,745 Tobias, still hoping to be in Gob's trick... 226 00:11:02,848 --> 00:11:07,581 - ventured into a costume shop he'd stumbled upon... - Oh, look who's back. 227 00:11:07,686 --> 00:11:11,019 - years earlier. - Are you gonna buy this time, or you just curious? 228 00:11:11,123 --> 00:11:13,751 I suppose I'm, uh, buy-curious. 229 00:11:13,859 --> 00:11:15,827 I have a big TV opportunity. 230 00:11:15,927 --> 00:11:18,054 This is where all the big TVs come. 231 00:11:18,163 --> 00:11:21,929 - Uh, let's start with the Eve Arden. - All right. 232 00:11:22,034 --> 00:11:23,934 Michael, meanwhile, called his sister. 233 00:11:24,036 --> 00:11:27,199 I wanted to tell you that I got myself a date with a beautiful woman... 234 00:11:27,305 --> 00:11:30,741 named Rita, and you're the chicken, not me. 235 00:11:30,842 --> 00:11:33,174 Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck... 236 00:11:33,278 --> 00:11:37,044 Okay. That's a pretty good chicken. 237 00:11:48,393 --> 00:11:50,293 Watch out! 238 00:11:50,395 --> 00:11:53,057 Crazy Brit! 239 00:11:53,165 --> 00:11:55,258 What's the problem? 240 00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:57,267 I know what you were doing back there. 241 00:11:57,369 --> 00:11:59,269 And if you've got half a!@%$# brain... 242 00:11:59,371 --> 00:12:02,534 - you'll leave it alone. - You talking about back in Wee Britain? 243 00:12:02,641 --> 00:12:04,541 - I was just asking a few questions. - Yeah... 244 00:12:04,643 --> 00:12:06,543 A few too many, if you ask me. 245 00:12:06,645 --> 00:12:09,205 How would you like someone going after some stupid person in your family? 246 00:12:09,314 --> 00:12:12,078 Now, back off, you!@%$# ponce! 247 00:12:14,252 --> 00:12:16,447 Wow. 248 00:12:16,555 --> 00:12:19,115 Dad was not kidding about their breath. 249 00:12:21,291 --> 00:12:23,225 Michael had just been threatened... 250 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,760 by a foul-mouthed British man. 251 00:12:25,862 --> 00:12:27,762 It's Michael. I'm not dressed. 252 00:12:27,864 --> 00:12:30,230 Gob, this is Michael. 253 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,494 Shouldn't you be getting ready for your "Free Bird" trick? 254 00:12:32,602 --> 00:12:34,570 - I couldn't get the rights to "Free Bird." - Oh. 255 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:37,299 I'm thinking about calling it "Free..." I don't know. "Chicken." 256 00:12:37,407 --> 00:12:40,240 I thought you were investigating Dad's sinister British connection. 257 00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:42,243 Yeah. I, uh, tried, but, uh... 258 00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,245 when I was leaving... 259 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:47,475 one of those British guys came after me and told me to back off. 260 00:12:47,584 --> 00:12:49,677 Can't believe it, but Dad may have been telling the truth. 261 00:12:49,786 --> 00:12:52,584 - This might be dangerous. - So you came back here to hide like a child. 262 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:56,420 - What are you doing locked in my office, exactly? - Hiding from a child. 263 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,585 - Big difference. - Gob, Steve Holt is your son. 264 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:01,255 - He probably just feels a connection. - He doesn't know what he feels. 265 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,264 I'm tried of being told. 266 00:13:04,801 --> 00:13:07,599 My God. What is this feeling? 267 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,672 You know, the feeling that you're... 268 00:13:09,773 --> 00:13:12,833 that you're feeling, it's just what many of us call a feeling. 269 00:13:12,942 --> 00:13:14,842 It's not like envy... 270 00:13:14,944 --> 00:13:17,845 - Or even hungry. - Could it be love? 271 00:13:17,947 --> 00:13:21,144 I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No. It's the opposite. 272 00:13:21,251 --> 00:13:23,446 It's like my heart is getting hard. 273 00:13:24,487 --> 00:13:27,183 Maybe I am ready to be a father. 274 00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:29,349 - Hey, Dad? - Whoa! 275 00:13:29,459 --> 00:13:31,450 It's my son, Gob. 276 00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:35,156 You know, and what is it with the fathers in this family always trying to deceive their... 277 00:13:35,265 --> 00:13:37,631 And that's when Michael realized that the man... 278 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,259 who threatened him must have been hired by George Sr. 279 00:13:40,370 --> 00:13:42,338 I'm the patsy. 280 00:13:43,673 --> 00:13:45,607 Well, I gotta go. George Michael? 281 00:13:45,708 --> 00:13:48,575 I'm sorry, but we're gonna talk about that girl later, okay? 282 00:13:48,678 --> 00:13:50,578 Now all I have to do is find that look-alike, Michael. 283 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,580 Michael? 284 00:13:54,117 --> 00:13:56,381 Hey! 285 00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,650 That's a woman's wig. 286 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,656 I was told it was a bob. 287 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,755 - And Michael confronted his father. - Find out anything? 288 00:14:06,863 --> 00:14:08,763 Yeah, I found out no matter how many times I promise myself... 289 00:14:08,865 --> 00:14:10,765 I'm not gonna fall for it, I always end up... 290 00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:12,892 - getting hustled by you. - What are you talking about? 291 00:14:13,002 --> 00:14:15,766 The guy that you hired to threaten me after I looked into the British connection. 292 00:14:15,872 --> 00:14:17,737 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Somebody threatened you? 293 00:14:17,841 --> 00:14:19,866 It's a wonderful performance. You're a regular Brad Garrett. 294 00:14:19,976 --> 00:14:21,841 But I don't watch TV at 3:00 in the afternoon... 295 00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,674 and you can forget about pleading not guilty. 296 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,340 - Guilty. We gotta plead guilty. - What? 297 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,781 Michael, I didn't hire anyone, I... I swear. 298 00:14:28,885 --> 00:14:31,752 If someone came after you, they're for real. 299 00:14:31,855 --> 00:14:34,756 - Come on. You serious? - I told you. These are bad guys. 300 00:14:34,858 --> 00:14:37,088 They do not want this information out. 301 00:14:37,193 --> 00:14:39,354 He said he was gonna come after somebody stupid in our family. 302 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:42,454 - That could be Buster. - Could be Gob. 303 00:14:42,565 --> 00:14:45,432 - You're not guilty. - We have to plead guilty. 304 00:14:45,535 --> 00:14:48,368 - We gotta plead guilty. - We gotta throw ourselves on the mercy of the court. 305 00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,736 - We gotta get Andy Griffith. - In the suit. 306 00:14:51,841 --> 00:14:53,866 And Michael went to cancel with Rita. 307 00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,411 Sorry. I just wanted to let you know... 308 00:14:56,512 --> 00:14:58,946 that I'm not gonna be needing your passport after all. 309 00:14:59,048 --> 00:15:01,380 We're just gonna go to court, plead guilty. That'll be that. 310 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:05,113 - So it's bye-bye to Rita, then? - Yes, I'll shake your hand good-bye... 311 00:15:05,221 --> 00:15:08,782 but, actually, I was wondering if you might want to... 312 00:15:08,892 --> 00:15:12,123 I wouldn't. I'll make you blue. 313 00:15:12,228 --> 00:15:15,163 Rita was just talking about the finger paint... 314 00:15:15,265 --> 00:15:17,495 - but Michael didn't know that. - I was just wondering... 315 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:21,434 if you might want to bid me fair morrow. 316 00:15:21,537 --> 00:15:25,234 Michael was filled with self-loathing. 317 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:29,437 Had he been Jack the Ripper, he would have soothed himself... 318 00:15:29,545 --> 00:15:32,013 in a most unsavory way. 319 00:15:32,115 --> 00:15:34,174 But instead he just sat in his car... 320 00:15:34,284 --> 00:15:37,481 and ate a whole thing of candy beans. 321 00:15:37,587 --> 00:15:41,216 And back at the penthouse, Gob had been called to see his father. 322 00:15:41,324 --> 00:15:43,224 New plan, right? 323 00:15:43,326 --> 00:15:46,318 You put me in the trick. You make me the guy in the cage. 324 00:15:46,429 --> 00:15:48,488 Okay, I just gotta say I'm really blown away by this. 325 00:15:48,598 --> 00:15:51,829 You really want to be part of my world. 326 00:15:51,935 --> 00:15:56,429 - I do. - God, I feel like my heart is straining through my shirt. 327 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,700 They take the ankle monitor off when I get to court. 328 00:15:58,808 --> 00:16:01,675 So, you make me disappear, you put Tobias in the cage... 329 00:16:01,778 --> 00:16:04,679 and by the time they realize that that guy is not me... 330 00:16:04,781 --> 00:16:07,375 I'm running through the storm drains to freedom. 331 00:16:07,483 --> 00:16:09,974 Where every day it rains... 332 00:16:10,086 --> 00:16:12,520 pennies from heaven! 333 00:16:17,126 --> 00:16:19,356 It was a... bird day... 334 00:16:19,462 --> 00:16:22,363 Gob, I know you're looking for a twin for your illusion... 335 00:16:22,465 --> 00:16:25,298 and there's somebody I'd like to put in a plug for. 336 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:29,360 Uh... Correction. Make that 4,000 plugs. 337 00:16:29,472 --> 00:16:31,201 - Oh, God! - Oh, come on. 338 00:16:31,307 --> 00:16:32,706 Mr. Gay, he's bleeding. Mr. Gay... 339 00:16:32,809 --> 00:16:35,369 No, no, no, no... I was scared too... 340 00:16:35,478 --> 00:16:38,470 but I realized it was of being a leading man. 341 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:42,176 Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading-man parts in my mouth. 342 00:16:42,285 --> 00:16:45,254 All right, listen to me. The trick has changed. We want you to play me now. 343 00:16:45,355 --> 00:16:48,756 Oh, but that would mean I'd have to sh... 344 00:16:48,858 --> 00:16:51,554 Shave my very... tender head. I see. 345 00:16:51,661 --> 00:16:54,357 Okay. Well, perhaps I jumped the gun... 346 00:16:54,464 --> 00:16:56,364 on those new head shots. 347 00:16:58,334 --> 00:17:00,825 And later that day, Michael arrived at the courthouse. 348 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,962 I can't believe you're just giving up like this. 349 00:17:03,072 --> 00:17:05,040 Well, the guy threatened our family. We have to plead guilty. 350 00:17:05,141 --> 00:17:07,109 No, I'm talking about that girl you said you have a date with. 351 00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:09,178 All right, so I lied. It wasn't a date. 352 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:11,178 But you could have made one with her. 353 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,441 I think that Poppins knocked the courage out of you. 354 00:17:13,549 --> 00:17:15,449 I guess I'm just not in her league. 355 00:17:15,551 --> 00:17:17,542 - How did you hear about the Poppins? - It was on the news. 356 00:17:17,653 --> 00:17:20,679 An unlicensed Mary Poppins takes down another tourist. 357 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:25,352 Is this the work of the Itsy Bitsy IRA? 358 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,361 I don't want to talk about this. 359 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,522 Dad, we're gonna go in there, Andy Griffith's gonna whisper something. 360 00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,532 We're gonna plead guilty. Nice and simple. 361 00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:34,102 - You didn't hear. We lost Andy. - What are you talking about? 362 00:17:34,203 --> 00:17:37,195 - He didn't like his trailer. - He thought we were making fun of him. 363 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,467 No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. 364 00:17:39,575 --> 00:17:41,543 I can't emphasize that enough. 365 00:17:43,713 --> 00:17:45,613 Oh, God. Don't look now... 366 00:17:45,715 --> 00:17:47,615 but Gob's doing his magic show. 367 00:17:47,717 --> 00:17:50,743 Oh, boy, a stupid magic show. We gotta watch this. 368 00:17:50,853 --> 00:17:54,949 - A big turnout. - A lot of people are probably here for the free chicken. 369 00:17:55,058 --> 00:17:56,958 Gather round, humans... 370 00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:58,960 and I will show you the plight... 371 00:17:59,062 --> 00:18:00,996 of an innocent man who yearns to be... 372 00:18:01,097 --> 00:18:04,294 free as a bird! 373 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,801 I've gotta start labeling these suits. 374 00:18:07,904 --> 00:18:10,668 Who shall I send on this journey... 375 00:18:10,773 --> 00:18:13,264 to that dangling cage? 376 00:18:13,376 --> 00:18:17,312 Oh, pick me. Look, could I be in this stupid trick? 377 00:18:17,413 --> 00:18:19,472 - Please? - Steve Holt, what are you doing here? 378 00:18:19,582 --> 00:18:21,948 I just came to see the magic show. 379 00:18:22,051 --> 00:18:23,951 I didn't know it was you. 380 00:18:24,053 --> 00:18:27,181 - Do you like magic? - No. 381 00:18:27,290 --> 00:18:29,656 - I love it. - And at that moment... 382 00:18:29,759 --> 00:18:32,990 Gob chose to show his own son what he was capable of. 383 00:18:33,096 --> 00:18:35,360 I've decided I will be performing the feat... 384 00:18:35,465 --> 00:18:37,365 myself. 385 00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:41,301 - Wait. We're back to hair? - Fortunately for Tobias, however... 386 00:18:41,404 --> 00:18:45,500 - he'd found it too painful to part with his new hair. 387 00:18:45,608 --> 00:18:50,011 - Boy. Did I catch a break. - So he opted to wear a bald cap. 388 00:18:50,113 --> 00:18:52,104 This chicken... 389 00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,843 shall be wrongly cooped. 390 00:18:59,288 --> 00:19:01,688 - Is that a chicken? - Oh, my God. 391 00:19:01,791 --> 00:19:04,988 - Dad, are you all right? - I fooled his own son. 392 00:19:05,094 --> 00:19:08,689 I am a leading man. 393 00:19:08,798 --> 00:19:10,993 And Gob himself was running through the storm drains... 394 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:13,193 I'm sorry, Steve. 395 00:19:13,302 --> 00:19:15,133 - free as a chicken. - I need to be a father. 396 00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:19,174 And George Sr. needed to escape too. 397 00:19:19,275 --> 00:19:21,675 I got him. 398 00:19:23,679 --> 00:19:25,579 Keeps him out of the kitchen. 399 00:19:25,681 --> 00:19:28,582 And Michael, seeing what a life of cowardice leads to... 400 00:19:28,684 --> 00:19:30,811 decided he'd had enough of it. 401 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,718 And soon George Sr. came to, and it was time... 402 00:19:33,823 --> 00:19:35,723 - to render a plea. - Oh, no. 403 00:19:35,825 --> 00:19:38,055 Prosecution's got that stud from L.A. Law. 404 00:19:38,161 --> 00:19:41,028 - It's Harry Hamlin. - I love my trailer. 405 00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:43,223 In the matter of The People v. Bluth... 406 00:19:43,332 --> 00:19:47,735 - how do you plead? - We plead... not guilty. 407 00:19:47,771 --> 00:19:49,997 Order in the court! 408 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:52,006 - Who let a flashbulb camera in? - What are you doing? 409 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:55,168 I'm tired of the cowardice. You're not guilty. We're gonna fight this. 410 00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,542 They don't have a!@%$# prayer. 411 00:19:57,647 --> 00:20:01,014 Send the check to my accountant. 412 00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:04,712 - This is where Andy could have helped us. - I'm proud of you. 413 00:20:04,820 --> 00:20:06,720 It's about time I showed a little courage. 414 00:20:06,822 --> 00:20:08,756 I just hope those Brits aren't as dangerous as Dad said. 415 00:20:08,858 --> 00:20:10,758 Well, they're not gonna get any closer to us. 416 00:20:10,860 --> 00:20:14,091 If they do, we're gonna see them coming. Oh, my God. That's Rita. 417 00:20:14,197 --> 00:20:17,598 I told her I was coming here and she came. 418 00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,429 - That's Rita? - Yeah. 419 00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:24,771 Wow. She is way out of his league. 420 00:20:24,874 --> 00:20:27,604 I'm glad you're here. 421 00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:30,304 I wanna call you sometime and take you out. 422 00:20:30,413 --> 00:20:32,381 Oh. 423 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,472 I'd really like that. 424 00:20:38,187 --> 00:20:40,781 And then, just to prove to himself he wasn't a coward... 425 00:20:40,890 --> 00:20:43,757 he went one step further. 426 00:20:47,029 --> 00:20:50,465 And Rita was happy to be in Michael's life as well. 427 00:20:52,702 --> 00:20:56,468 For you see, Rita had a secret of her own.