1 00:00:01,422 --> 00:00:04,152 Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything... 2 00:00:04,259 --> 00:00:06,659 and the one son who had no choice... 3 00:00:06,761 --> 00:00:08,752 but to keep them all together. 4 00:00:14,269 --> 00:00:15,930 It's Arrested Development. 5 00:00:18,773 --> 00:00:20,673 Michael Bluth had called a meeting... 6 00:00:20,775 --> 00:00:22,675 with the family's longtime attorney... 7 00:00:22,777 --> 00:00:25,007 to discuss his father's incarceration. 8 00:00:25,113 --> 00:00:29,777 I am so sorry. It was a client. Okay. 9 00:00:29,884 --> 00:00:32,375 But he was finding it difficult to get any answers. 10 00:00:32,487 --> 00:00:35,456 - How long was I on the phone? - Twenty-five minutes. 11 00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:38,720 With the cell phone charges, I'm gonna round it out to about an hour... 12 00:00:38,826 --> 00:00:41,556 'cause it's easier to bill... all right. 13 00:00:41,663 --> 00:00:44,962 - Anything else to go over? - We've got everything else to go over. 14 00:00:45,066 --> 00:00:48,524 We haven't done anything to get my dad out of jail. 15 00:00:48,636 --> 00:00:53,505 Okay. First of all... What are you doing? Pilates? 16 00:00:53,608 --> 00:00:57,044 Because no 40-year-old woman should look like that. 17 00:00:57,145 --> 00:00:59,705 Well, no 40-year-old woman does look like that. 18 00:00:59,814 --> 00:01:02,681 He was, however, getting along with his sister... 19 00:01:02,784 --> 00:01:04,979 which was unwelcome news to their mother... 20 00:01:05,086 --> 00:01:07,452 who feared this unity might be used against her. 21 00:01:07,555 --> 00:01:09,455 I do have some big news. 22 00:01:09,557 --> 00:01:11,752 It's going to cost you a little money... 20,000, something like that. 23 00:01:11,859 --> 00:01:16,592 The courts have agreed to let your father out of prison. 24 00:01:16,698 --> 00:01:18,598 - This is a lawyer! - He's a master! 25 00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:20,793 For the entire afternoon. 26 00:01:20,902 --> 00:01:23,393 What do you mean "afternoon"? What afternoon? 27 00:01:23,504 --> 00:01:26,769 The day before Christmas, in time for the Living Classics Pageant... 28 00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:29,069 because I know how important that is to all of you. 29 00:01:29,177 --> 00:01:31,611 The Living Classics Pageant, an Orange County tradition... 30 00:01:31,713 --> 00:01:35,274 consists oflive representations of classic works of art. 31 00:01:35,383 --> 00:01:38,079 The Bluth family has participated not only as a patron... 32 00:01:38,186 --> 00:01:41,349 but as an integral part of its most popular exhibit... 33 00:01:41,456 --> 00:01:45,085 Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam. 34 00:01:45,193 --> 00:01:47,286 I don't really want to be Adam this year. 35 00:01:47,395 --> 00:01:49,727 Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line... 36 00:01:49,831 --> 00:01:52,322 behind, what, about five homos. 37 00:01:54,369 --> 00:01:57,361 That was wrong. I'm... I'm so sorry. 38 00:01:57,472 --> 00:01:59,804 It's just that I have one down at the office now... 39 00:01:59,907 --> 00:02:02,000 and, I mean, it is every day. 40 00:02:02,110 --> 00:02:05,944 I would be happy to play Adam. I'd prefer a speaking part... 41 00:02:06,047 --> 00:02:09,039 Please don't speak for the rest of the meeting. 42 00:02:09,150 --> 00:02:12,119 - Zing! - No, no, seriously. I don't want to play Adam. 43 00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:14,654 Buster, every year we go through this song and dance... 44 00:02:14,756 --> 00:02:19,318 and every year you say, "Thank you, Mama, for making me play Adam." 45 00:02:19,427 --> 00:02:22,191 - You're doing it. - This concerned Buster... 46 00:02:22,296 --> 00:02:24,628 as he'd been secretly dating his mother's best friend... 47 00:02:24,732 --> 00:02:27,724 and chief social rival, Lucille Austero. 48 00:02:27,835 --> 00:02:30,303 Can't we just stay here and play poker again? 49 00:02:30,405 --> 00:02:32,839 You can bet your vertigo medicine against my anxiety pills. 50 00:02:32,940 --> 00:02:36,501 No. Buster, for God's sake, there is music to hear... 51 00:02:36,611 --> 00:02:39,136 places to go, envy to stir. 52 00:02:39,247 --> 00:02:42,045 Look, I'm tired of keeping our love a secret. 53 00:02:42,150 --> 00:02:44,744 We are going out, and that is that! 54 00:02:44,852 --> 00:02:47,753 - Oh. - Oh, Buster. Okay, I'm okay. 55 00:02:47,855 --> 00:02:49,686 I'm okay. 56 00:02:49,791 --> 00:02:51,691 Okay. I'm gonna get out of your hair. 57 00:02:51,793 --> 00:02:53,818 - We'll talk about this money later in the week. - Excuse me. 58 00:02:53,928 --> 00:02:56,954 We're not going to pay $20,000 to get my Dad out for one day. 59 00:02:57,065 --> 00:03:00,432 No. It's a bond. It's all refundable, unlike my time. 60 00:03:00,535 --> 00:03:02,503 It's been a complete waste of two hours, okay? 61 00:03:02,603 --> 00:03:04,503 We're just not going to do it, and that's that. 62 00:03:04,605 --> 00:03:07,768 - Are you writing two hours? - No, I'm taking notes on the case. 63 00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:09,775 - Let me just see what you just wrote. - You're scaring me. 64 00:03:09,877 --> 00:03:14,405 just leave it alone! It is a gift from a client! Ruining a good meeting. 65 00:03:14,515 --> 00:03:17,609 - Barry's very good. - He's an idiot. 66 00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,619 Exactly. We're not trying to get Dad out for a night. 67 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,621 We're trying to get him out for good. 68 00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:24,214 We're gonna get a new lawyer. I actually know of one who's available. 69 00:03:24,325 --> 00:03:26,225 His name's WayneJarvis. He's a top guy. 70 00:03:26,327 --> 00:03:28,386 WayneJarvis had become famous... 71 00:03:28,496 --> 00:03:30,396 after an employment discrimination suit... 72 00:03:30,498 --> 00:03:33,433 against the family's current attorney, Barry Zuckerkorn. 73 00:03:33,534 --> 00:03:36,765 It'll be a long time before Barry Zuckerkorn calls anyone a homo again. 74 00:03:36,871 --> 00:03:39,533 You know, I am really happy that you two are in agreement... 75 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,767 but we're not getting rid of Barry. 76 00:03:41,876 --> 00:03:44,868 He's like family, and you can't fire family. 77 00:03:44,979 --> 00:03:47,880 Yeah, I know. Hey, Maeby. 78 00:03:47,982 --> 00:03:50,314 Maeby, where have you been? 79 00:03:50,418 --> 00:03:53,717 You left me at home. You do remember you have a daughter, right? 80 00:03:53,821 --> 00:03:55,914 Uh, yes, of course we remember... 81 00:03:56,023 --> 00:03:57,923 and we were worried sick, young lady. 82 00:03:58,025 --> 00:04:02,553 She's fine. Our daughter's all right, everybody, so... 83 00:04:02,663 --> 00:04:05,655 - You said you didn't want her to come. - I said I didn't want you to come. 84 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:09,430 - Oh, that makes more sense. - Now she's going to think we're totally self-involved. 85 00:04:09,537 --> 00:04:12,734 I can fix this. Buster's probably still in the lobby. 86 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,741 Let me go see if I can't get him to give me the part of Adam. 87 00:04:15,843 --> 00:04:18,573 And I'll see if I can get some money from my mom. - Lupe! 88 00:04:18,679 --> 00:04:20,579 There are some juice glasses on the sofa table. 89 00:04:20,681 --> 00:04:22,672 Mama, I'll help you clean up. 90 00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,581 There are some salad plates on the piano. 91 00:04:24,685 --> 00:04:27,552 Wow. What a party. You make it seem so effortless. 92 00:04:27,655 --> 00:04:29,646 What do you need money for? A divorce? 93 00:04:29,757 --> 00:04:32,453 No, Mom. Tobias and I are doing fine, thank you. 94 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,687 - It's my credit card debt. - Forget it. 95 00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:36,593 Fine. I'll ask Michael. He'll give it to me. 96 00:04:36,697 --> 00:04:40,098 Maybe if you get him drunk. It's the only way he'll give money... 97 00:04:40,201 --> 00:04:43,102 to someone he calls a "stay-in-bed mom." 98 00:04:43,204 --> 00:04:46,833 - He said that about me? - I thought it was harsh. 99 00:04:46,941 --> 00:04:50,069 But, you know, he thinks you're completely irresponsible. 100 00:04:50,178 --> 00:04:52,806 A stay-in-bed mom. 101 00:04:52,914 --> 00:04:56,179 Probably because you don't work, and you're lazy. 102 00:04:56,284 --> 00:04:58,115 His words. 103 00:04:58,219 --> 00:05:00,619 - I can't believe him. - I know! 104 00:05:00,721 --> 00:05:03,690 just when you were getting along so well. 105 00:05:10,565 --> 00:05:12,556 They've got to be kidding me. 106 00:05:16,070 --> 00:05:17,970 Michael's brother Gob, meanwhile... 107 00:05:18,072 --> 00:05:22,168 had missed the meeting that morning after being delayed by his girlfriend Marta. 108 00:05:22,276 --> 00:05:24,972 ?: Te quiero! 109 00:05:25,079 --> 00:05:27,673 - English, please. - I love you. 110 00:05:27,782 --> 00:05:29,875 Great. Now I'm late. 111 00:05:29,984 --> 00:05:32,316 And while Gob took his girlfriend for granted... 112 00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:35,082 Michael was learning Spanish to get closer to her. 113 00:05:35,189 --> 00:05:37,555 That is not something I can bring to my boss. 114 00:05:37,658 --> 00:05:42,027 Unfortunately, the one tape he could find was oflittle use to him. 115 00:05:42,129 --> 00:05:44,029 Are you going to the complimentary breakfast? 116 00:05:44,131 --> 00:05:46,429 That'll get her hot. 117 00:05:46,534 --> 00:05:49,503 Well, if it isn't the boy who lives under the stairs. 118 00:05:49,604 --> 00:05:51,504 - Hey, Gob. - What are you doing, learning Spanish? 119 00:05:51,606 --> 00:05:56,236 Nope. It's, uh... It's something for work, so, yes, uh, yeah. 120 00:06:01,182 --> 00:06:02,717 Meanwhile, Buster was trying to get George Michael... 121 00:06:02,717 --> 00:06:04,116 Meanwhile, Buster was trying to get George Michael... 122 00:06:04,218 --> 00:06:06,686 to take his place as Adam. 123 00:06:06,787 --> 00:06:09,085 I don't know, Uncle Buster. 124 00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:11,590 - Well, you don't have the "frontspiece" yet. - "Frontspiece"? 125 00:06:11,692 --> 00:06:16,356 Look, I don't want to go through a whole song and dance with you. You're going to love it. 126 00:06:16,464 --> 00:06:20,423 You just can't do anything that violates the original painting, like giggling or itching. 127 00:06:20,534 --> 00:06:24,231 They do allow some nervous crying, but you can tell they don't like it. 128 00:06:25,806 --> 00:06:28,434 And Maeby was teaching her parents a lesson for forgetting her... 129 00:06:28,542 --> 00:06:31,102 Who knows how long I'll be gone? 130 00:06:31,212 --> 00:06:33,942 when she spotted George Michael. 131 00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:36,812 Nice pecs. Got a kickin' bod. 132 00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:40,718 Thus, George Michael found a compelling reason to keep the muscle suit on. 133 00:06:43,057 --> 00:06:44,957 Law offices of Barry Zuckerkorn. 134 00:06:45,059 --> 00:06:46,754 It's Michael Bluth for Barry. 135 00:06:46,861 --> 00:06:50,592 - I'm not here. - Barry's not here. Can I give her a message? 136 00:06:50,698 --> 00:06:52,928 Tell her she needs to whisper a little softer next time... 137 00:06:53,034 --> 00:06:55,832 and I'm not paying for this phone call. 138 00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:58,633 I am not a girl, you bow-tied... 139 00:06:58,739 --> 00:07:01,230 Go on. Call me something. I'm redoing my kitchen. 140 00:07:01,342 --> 00:07:04,277 That's it. I've had it with this jerk Barry. 141 00:07:04,378 --> 00:07:06,676 I'm going to make Mom sit down with Wayne whether she likes it or not. 142 00:07:06,781 --> 00:07:09,807 - You're the jerk. - Did I just wake you up? I didn't know you were home. 143 00:07:09,917 --> 00:07:12,681 No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day. 144 00:07:12,787 --> 00:07:14,687 Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael... 145 00:07:14,789 --> 00:07:17,849 that she tried meditating to calm herself... 146 00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:20,723 but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap. 147 00:07:20,828 --> 00:07:22,989 Yeah, this suitcase should be big enough. 148 00:07:23,097 --> 00:07:26,260 Where is all this coming from? I thought we were getting along. 149 00:07:26,367 --> 00:07:29,131 Yeah, so did I. And now I hear you're telling our mother... 150 00:07:29,236 --> 00:07:32,763 that I'm completely irresponsible and a stay-in-bed mom. 151 00:07:32,873 --> 00:07:34,773 That doesn't even sound like me. 152 00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:37,935 That sounds like Mom or Bruce Vilanch. 153 00:07:38,045 --> 00:07:40,343 - Could be Bruce Vilanch. - Then why would she say it? 154 00:07:40,448 --> 00:07:42,973 - Because we're getting along. - Because we're friends again. 155 00:07:43,084 --> 00:07:45,609 You gotta remember Mom typically has nothing in her system... 156 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:47,711 except a bottle of vodka and an estrogen pill. 157 00:07:47,822 --> 00:07:50,017 Speaking of which... 158 00:07:50,124 --> 00:07:52,456 Michael and Lindsay proceeded to drink... 159 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,460 and air their grievances about their mother. 160 00:07:54,562 --> 00:07:58,259 She's always trying to get me to admit that my marriage isn't working. 161 00:07:58,366 --> 00:08:01,130 - And how's it going with you and Tobias? - It's not working. 162 00:08:01,235 --> 00:08:04,466 And that's why I wanted her help with my credit card debt. 163 00:08:04,572 --> 00:08:07,302 I'm trying to take at least some of the pressure off this marriage. 164 00:08:07,408 --> 00:08:10,809 And if anything, it's worse now that we're sharing a bedroom. 165 00:08:10,911 --> 00:08:13,709 You guys were not sharing a bedroom before? 166 00:08:13,814 --> 00:08:16,146 Well, the cutoffs aren't exactly a turn-on. 167 00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:20,516 - What's the deal with the cutoffs? - You've got to promise not to tell anyone this. 168 00:08:20,621 --> 00:08:24,318 - Okay. - He's a never-nude. 169 00:08:24,425 --> 00:08:26,757 Is that exactly what it sounds like? 170 00:08:26,861 --> 00:08:29,193 Tobias suffered a rare psychological affliction... 171 00:08:29,296 --> 00:08:31,890 of never being able to be completely naked. 172 00:08:31,999 --> 00:08:34,934 Excuse me. Do these effectively hide my thunder? 173 00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:38,972 Oh, I'm sorry. No, I need you to be completely undressed. 174 00:08:39,073 --> 00:08:42,099 I am completely undressed. 175 00:08:42,209 --> 00:08:45,007 - I thought he just liked cutoffs. - Me too. 176 00:08:45,112 --> 00:08:47,512 What about you? What's going on with your love life? 177 00:08:47,615 --> 00:08:49,515 Have you even met anyone since your wife? 178 00:08:49,617 --> 00:08:52,518 That is the one subject I am not eager to talk about, Lindsay. 179 00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:54,884 I love Marta. 180 00:08:56,724 --> 00:08:59,557 - Mom's housekeeper? - Gob's girlfriend. 181 00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:02,128 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 182 00:09:02,229 --> 00:09:06,063 Listen. You're a great guy, and if she doesn't see that... 183 00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:09,295 - then someone else will. - You know what else, Lindsay? You're great. 184 00:09:09,403 --> 00:09:13,464 And I'm gonna move some money around if it's gonna help you get out of debt. 185 00:09:13,574 --> 00:09:14,973 - No, Michael. - Yeah. 186 00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:18,637 The hell with Mom. And here. Mom's never gonna get between us again. 187 00:09:19,814 --> 00:09:22,442 The next day, Buster, having pawned off playing Adam... 188 00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:25,519 went to Lucille 2 to ask her out for Christmas Eve. 189 00:09:25,619 --> 00:09:29,715 That is terrific 'cause I got two tickets to the pageant! 190 00:09:29,824 --> 00:09:33,555 My... My mother's going to be there. 191 00:09:33,661 --> 00:09:35,561 And George Michael was trying to pass... 192 00:09:35,663 --> 00:09:37,995 - as a more muscular boy than he actually was. - One hundred. 193 00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:40,067 One hundred? I had you at 10. 194 00:09:40,167 --> 00:09:43,762 I did some earlier in the day. It's a running total. So what's with the suitcase? 195 00:09:43,871 --> 00:09:46,567 It's a little test to get my parents to notice me. 196 00:09:46,674 --> 00:09:48,574 You ever get the feeling like no one even sees you? 197 00:09:48,676 --> 00:09:53,010 I've got a really good body, so... no. 198 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,241 Hey, gang. What you doing? 199 00:09:55,349 --> 00:09:57,579 - Just packing up. Packing it on up. - Uh-huh. 200 00:09:57,685 --> 00:09:59,915 Listen, can I talk to you alone for a moment? 201 00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:03,456 - I'll leave you two alone here. - Oh, no, George Michael, I meant you. 202 00:10:03,557 --> 00:10:06,117 Maeby, can we have the room? 203 00:10:09,864 --> 00:10:13,823 So, as you know, I was hoping to play Adam in this thing... 204 00:10:13,934 --> 00:10:17,961 and I want you to know that I am not threatened. 205 00:10:18,072 --> 00:10:20,336 You know, I'd be happy to let you play Adam. 206 00:10:20,441 --> 00:10:22,534 Give me the suit. Give me the suit. 207 00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:26,306 I'm actually wearing it right now, and I can't tell you why. 208 00:10:26,413 --> 00:10:28,313 You're wearing it right now? 209 00:10:28,415 --> 00:10:31,145 I have to wear it all the time. You'd never understand. 210 00:10:31,252 --> 00:10:34,619 Oh, please. I'll never under... 211 00:10:34,722 --> 00:10:38,488 I'll never understand... that you can never be nude? 212 00:10:44,765 --> 00:10:48,724 I understand more than you'll never know. 213 00:10:55,242 --> 00:10:57,142 Yikes. 214 00:10:57,244 --> 00:10:59,678 Michael finally arranged a meeting with attorney WayneJarvis. 215 00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:01,680 Looking for a more professional approach to our representation. 216 00:11:01,782 --> 00:11:03,079 Well, I'm a professional. 217 00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:06,176 - I'm serious, and I'm a professional. - That's fantastic. 218 00:11:06,287 --> 00:11:08,721 - So how long have you been practicing... - I also don't like small talk. 219 00:11:08,822 --> 00:11:12,155 I find that unprofessional. Why should I be billing you for small talk... 220 00:11:12,259 --> 00:11:14,159 when I'm enjoying it as much as you are? 221 00:11:14,261 --> 00:11:17,321 Then this must be a freebie 'cause I'm having a ball. 222 00:11:17,431 --> 00:11:19,831 When you're ready to get serious, give me a call. 223 00:11:19,934 --> 00:11:24,394 No, no! No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm serious. I'm ready. 224 00:11:24,505 --> 00:11:28,373 Good. If you retain my services, I will get your father out of jail... 225 00:11:28,475 --> 00:11:30,375 and we will be countersuing before the end of the year. 226 00:11:30,477 --> 00:11:33,173 We're gonna get this company's name back to where it started. 227 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,840 - Or hopefully higher. - I didn't say that. Don't hold me to that. 228 00:11:35,950 --> 00:11:39,750 I won't, and I appreciate that to a wonderful degree. 229 00:11:39,853 --> 00:11:42,253 My mother is on her way up here... 230 00:11:42,356 --> 00:11:46,053 and she's resistant to the idea of hiring a new attorney. 231 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,628 If she even sees you, she probably won't come in the room. 232 00:11:48,729 --> 00:11:51,254 I shall duck behind the couch. 233 00:11:51,365 --> 00:11:53,799 What a pro. 234 00:11:55,102 --> 00:11:56,660 - Michael. - Hi. 235 00:11:56,770 --> 00:12:00,001 I need to get the money to get your father out for the pageant. 236 00:12:00,107 --> 00:12:03,543 Actually, that's not why I called you here today, and I'm not doing that. 237 00:12:03,644 --> 00:12:06,238 I gave that money to Lindsay to pay off her credit card debt. 238 00:12:06,347 --> 00:12:09,805 - What'd she do, get you drunk? - No, we just, uh, well... 239 00:12:09,917 --> 00:12:12,579 We did drink a little bit. How'd you know that? 240 00:12:12,686 --> 00:12:14,586 Because that's what she said she'd do. 241 00:12:14,688 --> 00:12:17,816 I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." 242 00:12:17,925 --> 00:12:20,223 Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. 243 00:12:20,327 --> 00:12:22,318 Oh. Her words. 244 00:12:22,429 --> 00:12:24,397 She set me up? 245 00:12:24,498 --> 00:12:29,231 All that stuff about her marital troubles and Tobias being a never-nude? 246 00:12:29,336 --> 00:12:33,238 A never-nude? I thought he just liked cutoffs. 247 00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:35,399 How do you treat somebody in your own family like that... 248 00:12:35,509 --> 00:12:39,878 lying and deceiving and saying anything just to get your own way? 249 00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:42,744 - So what did you want to see me about? - Hmm? 250 00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:46,411 Oh, um, there's a big bowl of candy in my office. 251 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,250 - Why don't you go eat it? - WayneJarvis, attorney at law. 252 00:12:49,356 --> 00:12:53,690 I have a responsibility to tell you that there is no candy in this office. 253 00:12:53,794 --> 00:12:56,285 Lindsay. 254 00:12:59,998 --> 00:13:02,831 - What are you doing here? - I had to get away from Marta. 255 00:13:02,934 --> 00:13:07,769 If I have to smell another meal of fish, rice and mango, I'm gonna kill somebody. 256 00:13:07,872 --> 00:13:11,433 - Now Michael's learning Spanish. What's up with that? - Oh, who knows? 257 00:13:11,543 --> 00:13:13,443 He won't get your father out of jail for a night. 258 00:13:13,545 --> 00:13:16,105 - He's bringing in a new attorney. - New attorney? 259 00:13:16,214 --> 00:13:19,149 And he's learning Spanish? 260 00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:21,241 He's hiding something. 261 00:13:21,352 --> 00:13:23,980 And I intend to find out what it is. 262 00:13:24,088 --> 00:13:27,683 Do yourself a favor. Get him drunk. 263 00:13:33,932 --> 00:13:35,957 Barry. 264 00:13:37,302 --> 00:13:39,736 I see you're getting closer to our attorney. 265 00:13:39,838 --> 00:13:43,467 Well, I just want you to know that I won't be needing your help after all. 266 00:13:43,575 --> 00:13:48,274 My brother Michael came through as he always does and as you never do. 267 00:13:48,379 --> 00:13:52,338 Whatever it takes to get your relationship with that never-nude back on track. 268 00:13:54,452 --> 00:13:56,818 - Michael told you that? - He couldn't wait to. 269 00:13:56,921 --> 00:13:59,287 And later, while Michael was meeting with Wayne... 270 00:13:59,390 --> 00:14:02,723 My thing with Tobias was a secret like you stealing your brother's girlfriend! 271 00:14:02,827 --> 00:14:05,523 - I open up to you, and you run and tell Mommy! - Excuse me. 272 00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:07,495 Outside, please. Thank you. Pardon us. 273 00:14:07,599 --> 00:14:11,262 Like it all wasn't just lies to get me to pay that debt. Isn't that why you got me drunk? 274 00:14:11,369 --> 00:14:13,496 - I got you drunk. - Mom told me about your little plan. 275 00:14:13,605 --> 00:14:16,870 - What plan? I had a great time last night! - So did I! 276 00:14:16,975 --> 00:14:19,341 - Then why are we yelling at each other? - Mom. 277 00:14:19,444 --> 00:14:22,845 - Unbelievable. - She did it again. 278 00:14:22,947 --> 00:14:25,848 - All right. We've got to teach her a lesson. - Hmm. 279 00:14:27,185 --> 00:14:31,087 Excuse me, Wayne, my sister and I were outside having a business discussion... 280 00:14:31,189 --> 00:14:33,714 and we were wondering if there's some sort of legal way... 281 00:14:33,825 --> 00:14:36,555 that we can humiliate our mother. 282 00:14:36,661 --> 00:14:39,027 Something shaming, something public. 283 00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:42,293 I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? 284 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,368 Professional. 285 00:14:51,142 --> 00:14:53,042 So how are we going to screw Mom? 286 00:14:53,144 --> 00:14:54,805 - Maybe we can get Barry to help. - Forget it. 287 00:14:54,913 --> 00:14:57,973 I think I was right about them all along. You know Barry's taking Mom to the pageant? 288 00:14:58,082 --> 00:14:59,811 - On a date? - Yeah. 289 00:14:59,918 --> 00:15:05,288 Ugh! If Dad could see her on a date with Barry, he'd go crazy. 290 00:15:05,390 --> 00:15:08,086 Which would allow us to hire Wayne. 291 00:15:09,961 --> 00:15:12,987 How do you feel about staying in debt just a little bit longer? 292 00:15:13,097 --> 00:15:16,498 So they decided to spend the money Michael had promised Lindsay... 293 00:15:16,601 --> 00:15:20,628 to get their father out for the pageant, where he'd catch his wife with Barry. 294 00:15:20,738 --> 00:15:24,299 Maeby, too, continued to try to teach her parents a lesson. 295 00:15:24,409 --> 00:15:26,969 Okay, so I printed the fake airline ticket from my computer. 296 00:15:27,078 --> 00:15:30,570 If my parents miss this, I really might go to South America. 297 00:15:30,682 --> 00:15:33,242 - That says "Portugal." - That's right. 298 00:15:33,351 --> 00:15:37,481 Maeby's parents didn't find the ticket, but Gob did... 299 00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:39,488 "Portugal." 300 00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,922 which confirmed his suspicions. 301 00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:44,620 Gonna live it up down old South America way, huh, Mikey? 302 00:15:44,729 --> 00:15:48,028 And Buster finally gave in to Lucille 2's wishes. 303 00:15:48,132 --> 00:15:51,533 You ready to show me off before God and the whole world? 304 00:15:51,636 --> 00:15:53,831 It's not my dad's reaction I'm worried about. 305 00:15:53,938 --> 00:15:58,034 And George Michael finally saw the painting he was going to be re-creating. 306 00:16:01,913 --> 00:16:05,440 And then what "frontspiece"meant. 307 00:16:11,456 --> 00:16:16,393 George Sr. got his 24 hours of freedom as the pageant finally began. 308 00:16:16,494 --> 00:16:20,225 You know, I saw you do this when I was a kid. I was so impressed. 309 00:16:20,331 --> 00:16:24,267 You know, you were so still and godlike. 310 00:16:24,369 --> 00:16:26,735 It was at that moment that I knew I would be a dancer. 311 00:16:28,306 --> 00:16:30,206 Glad I could make a difference. 312 00:16:30,308 --> 00:16:32,970 Michael and Lindsay searched the crowd for their mother and Barry... 313 00:16:33,077 --> 00:16:36,535 so they could revel in the public shaming they had engineered. 314 00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:40,583 - Mom, what the hell are you doing? - But instead they found her with Wayne. 315 00:16:40,685 --> 00:16:42,585 I don't have to answer that. 316 00:16:42,687 --> 00:16:44,848 I don't know which one of you I'm more disappointed in. 317 00:16:44,956 --> 00:16:46,981 No, it's Wayne. Wayne... 318 00:16:47,091 --> 00:16:49,719 - I have needs. I am a man! - Hey, watch... 319 00:16:49,827 --> 00:16:52,591 What's the difference? Your father doesn't care about me. 320 00:16:52,697 --> 00:16:55,188 Barry tells me he's not even trying to get out of prison. 321 00:16:55,299 --> 00:16:58,063 - Mom, he's here. Dad's here. - He's here? 322 00:16:58,169 --> 00:17:00,501 - Yeah, he's here. - Why did you do this? 323 00:17:00,605 --> 00:17:02,937 - We were trying to teach you a lesson. - You idiots! 324 00:17:03,041 --> 00:17:06,169 - If he sees me with Wayne... - We'll be stuck with Barry. 325 00:17:06,277 --> 00:17:09,269 I shall duck behind that little garbage car. 326 00:17:10,715 --> 00:17:12,615 Guy's a pro. 327 00:17:12,717 --> 00:17:14,617 And now, ladies and gentlemen... 328 00:17:14,719 --> 00:17:17,449 Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam. 329 00:17:17,555 --> 00:17:20,752 And George Michael made his debut... 330 00:17:20,858 --> 00:17:23,258 Hey, that's my... Yikes. 331 00:17:23,361 --> 00:17:25,295 breaking the pageant's cardinal rule. 332 00:17:25,396 --> 00:17:27,023 How dare he! 333 00:17:27,131 --> 00:17:30,100 Oh, stop booing! There's nothing wrong with it. 334 00:17:30,201 --> 00:17:34,194 There are dozens of us. Dozens! 335 00:17:34,305 --> 00:17:36,398 Buster arrived with Lucille Austero... 336 00:17:36,507 --> 00:17:40,307 and naturally assumed the yells of disgust were directed toward him. 337 00:17:40,411 --> 00:17:42,538 - What is wrong with you? - What's wrong with you? 338 00:17:42,647 --> 00:17:44,808 Buster? 339 00:17:44,916 --> 00:17:46,907 Oh, God! I'm sorry. 340 00:17:47,018 --> 00:17:50,385 I'm sorry, Lucille. Yeah. Lucille. 341 00:17:50,488 --> 00:17:52,456 Ma, I'm sorry! 342 00:17:52,557 --> 00:17:57,085 Man! That old lady has really done a number on you, hasn't she? 343 00:17:58,396 --> 00:18:01,661 But George Michael wasn't the only problem with the painting. 344 00:18:01,766 --> 00:18:04,394 - Where is God? - There is no God! 345 00:18:07,672 --> 00:18:09,572 There goes my credit card payment. 346 00:18:09,674 --> 00:18:11,938 Dad! Dad! 347 00:18:12,043 --> 00:18:14,011 Hey! Dad! 348 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,080 - Excuse me. - Dad! 349 00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:21,777 - Hey, Dad, get back here! - No! I'm not going back! 350 00:18:21,886 --> 00:18:23,786 Dad, come here! 351 00:18:23,888 --> 00:18:27,847 - Dad! - Michael, I'm onto you. 352 00:18:27,959 --> 00:18:30,621 The Spanish lessons, the lawyer. 353 00:18:30,728 --> 00:18:34,528 - If you're heading for Portugal, it's due south! - What? No, it isn't. 354 00:18:34,632 --> 00:18:37,294 Dad, you're not gonna outrun me in that dress. 355 00:18:37,401 --> 00:18:41,360 - Let go! For God's sakes, I'm not even wearing a jock. - Dad, are you going too? 356 00:18:44,876 --> 00:18:47,640 No one is going to Portugal, you idiot! 357 00:18:47,745 --> 00:18:51,010 Lindsay and I broke Dad out of jail for a day to catch Mom on a date. 358 00:18:51,115 --> 00:18:53,811 Your mother is on a date? Oh. 359 00:18:53,918 --> 00:18:55,180 Dad! 360 00:18:55,286 --> 00:18:58,619 Oh, oh. 361 00:18:58,723 --> 00:19:01,351 - Dad? - And so, many in the Bluth family... 362 00:19:01,459 --> 00:19:04,394 gathered together for Christmas Eve... at prison. 363 00:19:04,495 --> 00:19:07,123 - Hey, where'd your muscle suit go? - Wait. You knew? 364 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:08,630 Yeah. 365 00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:10,667 I took it off. 366 00:19:13,638 --> 00:19:15,538 You did? 367 00:19:18,342 --> 00:19:21,778 You have made some tremendous strides today. 368 00:19:23,347 --> 00:19:25,474 Ever get the feeling like you don't even matter? 369 00:19:25,583 --> 00:19:27,847 Only when I'm around my children. 370 00:19:27,952 --> 00:19:31,820 You reach a certain age, and you have to practically scream to get noticed. 371 00:19:31,923 --> 00:19:35,825 They turn you into a monster, and then they call you one. 372 00:19:35,927 --> 00:19:38,327 I don't think you're a monster. 373 00:19:38,429 --> 00:19:40,329 And I think you're a lovely girl. 374 00:19:40,431 --> 00:19:42,695 You know what? 375 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,200 I think you and I ought to spend more time together. 376 00:19:45,303 --> 00:19:47,430 Yeah. 377 00:19:48,673 --> 00:19:52,234 - That'll drive them crazy. - Exactly. 378 00:19:52,343 --> 00:19:54,243 And Michael was forced to, once again... 379 00:19:54,345 --> 00:19:56,813 call in the counsel of Barry Zuckerkorn. 380 00:19:56,914 --> 00:19:59,075 Thank you. Thank you for coming down on Christmas Eve. 381 00:19:59,183 --> 00:20:02,516 Oh, it's like any other day, except that I bill double. 382 00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:04,747 So, they're not filing charges. 383 00:20:04,855 --> 00:20:09,417 I got them to call your flee from justice "religious expression." 384 00:20:09,527 --> 00:20:12,291 - This is a lawyer. - Yeah, he's... he's very good. 385 00:20:12,396 --> 00:20:15,524 You're gonna have to forfeit that bond. I was way off about that. 386 00:20:15,633 --> 00:20:17,760 Thanks again, Mikey. 387 00:20:20,404 --> 00:20:22,872 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 388 00:20:22,974 --> 00:20:26,000 Are all the guys in here, you know... 389 00:20:26,110 --> 00:20:28,908 Oh, no, no, no. Not all of them. 390 00:20:29,013 --> 00:20:32,380 Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. 391 00:20:34,452 --> 00:20:37,114 - Hope? - Think. 392 00:20:37,221 --> 00:20:40,884 - How'd it go? - Well, the bad news is you're in debt again... 393 00:20:40,992 --> 00:20:43,586 and we never busted Mom, and we're stuck with Barry. 394 00:20:43,694 --> 00:20:47,892 The good news is we've been asked never to participate in the pageant again. 395 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,992 - Well, at least we're still pals, huh? - Yeah. 396 00:20:53,404 --> 00:20:56,737 That's not really doing it for me this time. 397 00:20:56,841 --> 00:20:58,741 Yeah.