Previously on the O.C.:
If you need anything else, let me know. Thanks.
I want you to leave Ryan alone. You must really think
I'm gonna hurt him.
I chickened out,
which is kind of my go-to move these days,
but I'm rescheduling the interview.
It's Maya Griffin.
Whose father's the head of the physician's board?
SANDY: I'm totally cool about
turning your apartment into the Playboy grotto.
I'm Jess. Trey.
JESS: I've always had this fantasy about two brothers.
I want you out of Newport.
JESS: We could take off together.
Where would we go?
Vegas.
Marissa and I are broken up.
I'm glad you finally made your decision.
Cohen, your Brown interview is, like, in 11 hours.
Don't you think you should be prepping for it?
Nope. I've got a new approach to interviews.
It's called "don't think about it."
I guess that's better than your last approach.
Hey, what's all that?
A little half-time buffet--
pretzels, Ding Dongs, jar of gefilte fish.
Just trying to mix it up.
That's always appreciated.
Ryan, you ready for a rematch?
RYAN: Oh, do we have to?
I thought I called winners.
SETH: No offense, I just
don't think you should step into the ring with me.
SUMMER: Yeah, before Ryan and I came,
Playstation was pretty much his best friend.
Come on. One game, Seth.
SETH: My controller.
Ryan, will you come get
drinks with me, please? Yes.
Okay, you ready?
This is my lucky controller.
( chuckles )
Okay.
So, Atwood, seems like you're really moving on.
Yeah, trying to.
Well, I promise, no weirdness from me.
I mean, Coop's my best friend,
but I've also accepted the fact that you and Marissa...
Not really meant to be. Which is why it's good
that you've found the opposite of Marissa.
You really think Sadie is Marissa's opposite?
And game over!
Whoa, dude, you got killed already?
I'm humbled, man, I am humbled and mortified.
( laughs )
It's okay, I can't take all the credit.
I found a cheat code on the Internet.
Ryan, this one's a keeper.
( whispers ): Anti-Coop.
Who knew my new Playstation idol would be your new girlfr...
Your new, like a...
Friend.
Friend, girl, friend. Nice save.
I think "friend" is the word.
( doorbell ringing ) I'm gonna get that.
Nice dodge. RYAN: Thanks.
"Friend" was what I was looking for.
Ryan.
Jess.
Oh, good, you recognize me.
Even with the new look.
Yeah, kind of came with the new life.
Listen, I brought you something.
It's a belated birthday present from your brother.
You still keep in touch with him?
Yeah.
I lived with him out in Vegas for a while.
Just got back a few months ago.
Here.
Thanks.
Don't you want to know how he's doing?
Hey.
Ryan, if you want to talk, you know where I live.
Who was that? Nobody.
Let's just go back to that.
Come on, you're up next.
( piano and acoustic guitar strumming gentle melody )
* California, here we come
* Right back where we started from *
* California
* California... *
Hey.
You know, I know Trey's not made of money or anything,
but he could have at least sprung for a shirt or something.
It's an inside thing. Long story.
I like long stories.
Too bad.
I don't feel like telling this one.
Breakfast is ready in the kitchen.
Oh, I haven't seen one of those in years.
Do you remember when your dad and I used to buy these for you?
Couldn't for the life of us get you to play with them.
Where'd you find this, anyway?
Trey.
A friend of his dropped it off.
SETH: You remember Jess?
Charming girl who took too much X
and floated face down in a pool?
Yeah, she moved to Vegas with Trey, and they lived together.
Well, how is he? Is he okay?
I don't know.
Figured he's out of my life.
Why get back into it?
Well, breakfast is ready.
What are you doing?
Thought you'd be at school.
So you were just gonna lurk around my house
while I wasn't home?
Came to drop something off.
I thought you were gonna sell this.
This watch was really expensive.
No, I, uh, I decided to hang on to it.
And now you're giving it back?
Well, there's a surprise twist.
Thanks.
Anything else?
Look, I just want to be alone right now.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, you look busy.
Listen, I'm gonna be at the beach tonight.
Maybe I'll see you.
Don't count on it.
No, you're the man, sir.
Okay, I'll see you soon.
So?
Turns out the guy is a huge anime fan.
We got into the whole Akira vs. Ghost in the Shell debate.
Both came down on Ghost in the Shell.
I have no idea what you're saying,
but I'm so happy for you.
I'm going to go call my parents,
tell them to start packing my bags.
Congratulations, baby!
Oh, holy Kodak moment.
Oh, I guess Seth just aced his Brown interview.
That's fantastic!
We're so gonna party tonight.
I'll make a flan.
Oh, you know what, Taylor, actually,
Seth and I were thinking about hanging out alone.
My dad's out of town, we have the house to ourselves.
Oh. Say no more.
Hmm. What?
Taylor? Hmm?
What's wrong with your eye?
It's a knowing wink, Summer.
You and Seth, the house all to yourselves.
Who knows what could happen?
Me. There'll be leftover Thai and the Blade trilogy.
Oh.
Oh, oh, I didn't realize that you and Seth had lost the magic.
I'm surprised you didn't come to me sooner.
You must be panicking.
Um, okay, I didn't come to you.
And why would I panic?
Well, it looks like you two are going to college together.
Don't you worry that Seth's eye will wander?
All the nubile young coeds?
You, the familiar old shoe?
Um, I'll have you know, Taylor,
that I am, like, five levels hotter than him.
Summer, the libido does not listen to logic.
At this age, men are driven by a reptilian force.
Spread the seed. Spread the seed.
Spread the... Taylor.
If Seth and I go to college together,
we will be just fine.
And I'll have you know, we have a very healthy sex life.
Then super.
You have fun tonight.
But, Summer, if you ever need to girl talk... Bye, Taylor.
Hmm.
Hey.
Glad you're home.
Yeah, just walked in.
I didn't know you were stopping by.
I need a break from drywalling.
You're still into toy cars?
I choose to find that
cute instead of creepy.
It's just something someone gave me.
This wouldn't by any chance have anything to do
with that Hooters waitress that showed up
at your doorstep yesterday?
Jess is just a friend of my brother's.
I'd tell you the whole story, but...
But you'd just rather not?
That's cool.
But just know if you do decide to tell me, I will listen.
And without judgment.
Or you can keep it all to yourself.
Both are fine with me.
Okay.
I'm going to get going.
( knocking )
Dr. Henry Griffin. What a surprise.
I hope you don't mind.
Please, we're building a hospital together.
When all is said and done, we'll be like family.
Hang on a sec, let me get Matt in here.
Um, I'd rather that you didn't.
Board called an impromptu meeting yesterday.
It seems there's been some complaints about your associate.
Complaints?
Rumors.
Parties at his house,
booze, gambling, God knows what else.
Board's not sure they want to do business with him.
Well, I'll talk to him, make sure he cleans up his act.
This is not about a slap on the wrist, Sandy.
We want him off the project.
Matt worked his ass off for this deal.
I couldn't take him off it.
Then I'm afraid we can't go forward with the hospital.
You got to be kidding me.
Take a few days, mull it over.
Remember, Sandy, this hospital could change everything for you.
You really want to give it all up
for one 26-year-old hotshot?
Hey, man. Hey.
What's going on tonight, big plans with Sadie?
Uh... ( sighs ) maybe.
I don't know,
I haven't really decided yet.
Yeah? What's Plan B?
Jess?
I just need to know if Trey's okay.
Well, nothing you hear is going to make it easier
that he's not a part of your life.
Listen.
As we speak, your new, uh, sometimes, kind-of girlfriend
is probably sitting by, cradling a hunk of plaster,
waiting for you to make a move.
So, you can either dwell in the past
and go see Jess,
or live for the now, and give Sadie a call.
( echoing ): So, you called.
( knocking )
Marissa.
Hi. Hey.
Come on in.
Thanks.
Just in the neighborhood?
Yeah, I was driving by.
Oh. Okay, no, I wasn't.
The truth is Summer's with Seth and I'm all alone,
and I'm kind of going out of my mind.
Well, you know, tomorrow I'm going to go up to L.A.,
but if you want, feel free to make this
your crash pad for the weekend.
That'd be great.
All right. Make yourself at home.
( groans )
All right, two down, one to go.
You really want to watch the entire Blade trilogy?
You can't leave the last disc unwatched, it'll feel bad.
Well, I thought tonight was about
celebrating your interview.
It is-- hence the trilogy.
You know...
Ah...
we could forget the movie,
go upstairs...
( sniffing )
Mmm, you smell so good.
You like the smell of salami?
Cohen!
What? I had a salami sub.
I feel like it's lingering.
Uh! You know what? Just forget it.
Forget what?
I was trying to create a mood.
I know. I know that now.
I was just thrown off a little bit by your approach.
Nuzzling your ear and complimenting you?
I wasn't exactly reinventing the wheel.
Normally you just throw me down and do your thing,
but I can adjust.
Not interested.
Summer.
( groaning )
You smell good, too.
Press play, before I break your face.
Fine.
SADIE ( over phone ): Hey, it's Sadie, leave a message.
Hey. So, I know you're painting, but it's Friday night.
I'm making you take a break.
I'll be there in 20 minutes, okay?
Bye.
Hey, Ryan.
I was just about to take a swim, come on in.
Look, I can't stay long.
But you couldn't resist
getting the lowdown on your brother?
Guy has a way of sucking you in.
I know.
Drink?
Just tell me, is he okay?
Well, he misses you.
Trey's not the type to cry into his pillow
every night, but... I can tell.
You know him that well, huh?
Let's just say he's of a certain mold:
angry, damaged, reckless.
It's the kind of guy I go for.
My boyfriend now, Jim, same deal.
We all have our types, don't we?
I tell you what, why don't you stay a while?
Look, Jess, we were never friends.
Got it.
You can go if you want.
Do you know Trey's dealing?
Blackjack.
Off the Strip.
So he's staying out of trouble?
Trying to.
Don't move. I'm going to get some clothes.
Jess?
Just stay a little while.
I have a lot more to tell you about Trey.
( grunting )
( thumping faster )
( panting )
Music too loud?
No! It's just the grunting
and excessive banging that I'm concerned about.
Sorry.
You okay?
Yeah. Yeah.
Girl problems?
Safe bet, usually, but no.
Actually, this is more complicated.
Is it that girl, Jessica?
Yeah. My brother.
Just trying to prevent another casualty of Trey.
So you're trying to save this girl?
Is that something I do?
Look, we love Marissa,
she's family, and she means a lot to us.
But she's been through so much, and you got pulled into that.
Yeah, well, some of that was my fault.
But you're right, yeah, I can't argue with you.
You should never argue with a woman
who's here to discuss women.
Have we mentioned that we love Sadie?
She's smart and she's grounded.
And I am trying-- trying-- not to screw it up.
Just because a girl isn't tied to some train tracks,
doesn't mean that she should be ignored.
I know, I know.
It's just, Jess is trying to put Trey behind her
and start a new life. Great.
As long as she doesn't get in the way of yours.
( knocking )
Marissa?
Sandy.
Look, I know it's weird I slept here,
but I just didn't feel like being in the trailer by myself.
If you need somewhere to go, you can always come to our house.
I... I know. You guys are like family.
It's just that these days...
Things are difficult with you and Ryan, I get that.
But you don't belong here.
Okay. Um, I was just leaving anyway.
If you're looking for Matt,
he went to L.A. for a meeting.
Well, I'll track him down.
You go home.
Okay.
All right.
( sighs )
Excuse me? Yeah, hi.
I'm picking up an order for Roberts.
Sure, just a second.
Thanks.
( gasps ) Guess who?
Oh, God. Hi!
Oh. ( laughing )
Looks like someone got the short straw.
What? No, I ordered pancakes.
No, you drew the short straw.
You know, after the sex when everyone's hungry,
but nobody wants to get the takeout,
short straw picks up the food.
Yes!
That is exactly what you're seeing happening here.
Total short-straw scenario.
With the hunger, and all the sex we had last night.
Yes.
So was last night like totally kinky,
or was it like more about tender lovemaking?
You know, smooth jazz, a burning fire,
a zebra-skin rug.
We had a very nice time.
Oh, my God. You didn't have sex at all, did you?
Are my pancakes ready yet?
Your lips aren't chapped, no love bites on your neck,
your voice isn't at all hoarse from screaming.
WAITRESS: Pancakes, right?
Thank you. Good-bye, Taylor. Summer...
Summer, wait, I can help you!
Hey.
Grab a brush, we're in the homestretch.
So I thought maybe
I was going to see you last night.
I got tied up, sorry.
What, do you work for the CIA?
Doesn't matter, I, uh... I got distracted for a few days.
But I'm fine now. In fact--
I'm all yours.
Okay. Fine. You're forgiven.
But in exchange for your silence,
I demand a dinner.
Okay. Tomorrow night?
Okay, perfect, yeah.
SUMMER ( over phone ): Hey, it's Summer, leave a message.
So nothing happened.
Still, Matt should know better.
But he doesn't.
You have to remember that he's not
that much older than the boys.
He just needs some advice from the great Sandy Cohen.
Oh, sometimes you overestimate me.
Ooh...
Not possible.
Oh, get a room.
Hey, count your blessings.
Kids with affectionate parents
grow up to be better adjusted sexually as adults.
I know, I meant get a room.
My room. And do it in front of me. ( laughs )
( cell phone ringing )
This Sadie?
It's Jess.
( sighs )
Jess?
Whoa, whoa. Slow down, slow down.
I can't...
What do you mean?
No, no, no.
Stay put, stay put. I'll be right there.
( sighs )
( door slams )
Hey.
I thought you weren't going to let this happen to you again.
After this, I'm done.
If I need help, I'll call, okay?
MARISSA: Thanks for coming out.
SUMMER: Yeah, I need to talk about Seth anyway.
So have you talked to him today?
No, I think we're just too embarrassed
to face each other.
Either that, or he's treading water
till he gets to Brown, and finds a big pair
of pale New England boobs to replace me.
Oh, babe, you just had an off night.
It'll be okay.
Did this ever happen with you and Ryan?
Actually, no.
I mean, we had our problems, that just wasn't one of them.
What about towards the end,
when you guys started drifting apart?
Kind of the opposite.
I guess...
...the more emotionally unavailable you are,
the more you end up wanting each other.
Hmm.
What are you looking at?
Nothing.
Hey, you think maybe we should get out of here?
Sold.
Okay, come on.
Did you see him?
Not yet. How many times has he come around?
Started a couple hours ago. He's been calling, too.
And when'd you end it? Earlier today.
I guess I was inspired by our talk last night,
so I called him up, told him I didn't want
to see him anymore, and now here I am--
down a boyfriend, up a stalker.
Is that him in the Mustang?
Yep. He's coming in.
Yeah. Just go in the back.
Look, man, she doesn't want to see you.
Who the hell are you, her bodyguard?
No, but I'll kick your ass if you take one step further.
He's gone?
Yeah. I don't think he'll be back.
Are you going to be okay?
I'll be fine. I promise.
You sure?
Ryan, I know you don't believe me,
but I really am trying to change.
You don't have to stay.
Morning.
Hey. Scrambled or fried?
I made both.
Neither. I should get going.
Coffee would be nice.
Ryan...
don't look all awkward
like it's the morning after.
It's not like anything happened last night.
Stay, eat.
( phone ringing ) Let me get rid of this.
Hello?
Trey.
Hi.
Of course I do.
I'd have to think about it.
Look, I got to go.
I'm sitting here with your brother.
Sure. Hang on.
Do you want to talk to him?
Now's not a good time.
I'll call you later.
He wants me to come back.
What happened to trying to change your life?
I am trying.
It's just that it's Trey.
It's hard...
especially all by myself.
Well, what about your parents? Where are they?
Well, my dad's in Tokyo on business,
and my mom's at the spa,
AKA in bed with her tennis instructor.
So as you can see, I don't have much to distract me...
unless you want to give it a try.
Look, I can't stay here and baby-sit you.
What about your girlfriends at USC?
I guess I could give them a call,
see if they want to come down.
Call them, invite them down.
Just take a breath.
Ryan, I'll try, but... what if I freak out?
You won't.
Matt, call me back.
We've got a lot to discuss.
Everything okay?
Oh, it's just business.
Hey.
I heard you aced your Brown interview.
Mm, mm.
Looks like the stars are aligning for you.
And Summer!
Could be another four years together.
Yeah.
Hey, let me ask you a question.
When you were at college with Mom,
did it ever... get sort of stale
with the monogamy and the constant being together?
Your mother was a firecracker.
Okay. My buddies used to say
if you see that mail truck rocking,
don't come a knocking.
So sorry I asked.
Good morning, honey. Hi, honey.
Have either of you guys seen Ryan?
I just checked the pool house,
and it looks like he didn't sleep there last night.
Good morning, everyone.
Sadie, hello! Hi, Sadie.
I brought bagels.
Hope you don't mind me crashing your breakfast.
Oh, not at all, let me get you some coffee.
Hey, is Ryan around?
Uh...
Um...
Actually...
( sighs )
You've really got to learn to lie better.
We'll just let you two...
SANDY: You're a terrible liar, my dear.
So let me guess.
Ryan got some 911 call from that Jess girl,
and it required him spending the night.
That has not been confirmed.
You don't have to protect him, Seth.
It's fine, honestly.
I'm not jealous.
I'm just not really sure
that Ryan and I are right for each other.
Because?
Because he just seems to have a lot of really intense issues.
Yeah, well, intense issues seem to follow Ryan around.
Well, I don't really know if I'm up for that right now.
Well, listen, I think Ryan really likes you,
and I think if you hang in there,
you two will eventually settle into a, uh,
super laid-back, boring-ass relationship,
but you've got to cut the guy some slack,
because he just got
out of a two-year drama-fest with Marissa,
and the one time that he tried to date someone normal,
she turned out to be
my dead grandfather's illegitimate daughter,
so you know how that goes.
Right, yeah, of course.
Of course I know how that goes.
Do you think you could do me a favor
and not tell Ryan that we talked?
I assume you know how to keep a secret.
( knocking at door )
Nobody's home!
Don't worry, it's just me.
Oh. Hi.
So, listen, I hate to pop in like this,
but I am meeting with Ashley and Madison
at school later today to brainstorm for a prom theme.
Do you want to come?
Uh, you... you probably don't need me for that.
Summer, are you kidding me?
It's the end of the year. We are all fried.
Come on, please?
Fine.
Yay!
Here you go.
Do you have to print out a flier for everything?
You'll thank me when you make your 2006 scrapbook.
Ooh.
I mean, there was the party with Bill Meriam,
the-the few dates I went on with Maya--
nothing that the board could oust me for.
What about Marissa?
I went to your house yesterday to talk to you,
and she answered the door in pajamas.
She's going through a tough time. She needed a friend.
Well, then be a friend, but for God's sake, Matt,
do not be throwing pajama parties with 17-year-old girls.
Nothing happened. That doesn't matter.
And right now, the board is watching you,
waiting for you to screw up,
and you're screwing up.
This is a witch hunt.
If they want to take me down, they will,
unless you stop them.
So please...
call Griffin, tell him you're going to keep me on the project.
Ew. School on a Sunday is, like, beyond creepy.
Summer, you're right on time.
Where's, um, Ashley and Madison?
Summer?
Cohen.
( sighs )
You know, you said the AV club was meeting.
I brought A History of Violence.
This is a total ambush.
Look, you two are like my family,
and if I sense there's trouble with my Sethimer,
I am going to do what I can to help.
We're not in any trouble--
at least that we've acknowledged to each other.
That is exactly why I brought you here today:
communication...
intimacy.
These are two skills that you two could improve upon.
Now, I am not a licensed sex therapist,
but my father was,
and before he ran away,
he used to conduct these sessions
with real couples in our basement.
That's creepy.
Okay. We're going to start off with touching.
I want you to place your hands
anywhere on each other's bodies,
excluding breasts and genitals.
I have to go.
Cohen... put your hands on me now.
TAYLOR: Come on, it'll be fun.
Good. Summer?
Good.
Okay, now I want you to concentrate
on your eye contact.
Get lost in each other's gaze.
Mm... getting lost...
I'm getting lost...
TAYLOR: As you gaze into each other's eyes,
do you feel stirrings... deep in your loins?
Mm...
I don't really feel anything.
I got nothing. Not really.
Not even the faintest spark?
A tiny flicker?
What does that say about us?
Well, I also do breakup counseling.
And for you?
I'll have the same, thank you.
Great.
So, I'm sorry that I didn't take you
anyplace nicer for our first date.
Are you kidding?
This place is the culinary destination of Newport.
Wait till you try the pancakes.
Next time. Next time?
It's a plan.
Yeah, all right. ( phone rings )
Excuse me.
Jess.
Is this Ryan Atwood?
Who's this?
Kim. I'm Jess' friend.
Look, we really need you to come over here.
Wh-Wh-What's going on in the background?
Well, word got out about Jess' tonight,
and now half of USC is here.
And supposedly Jim is on his way over here and on a rampage.
All right, well, grab Jess and get out of there.
I would, but she's locked in the pool house.
She's drunk, and she's crying,
and she says the only person she'll talk to is you.
Well...
Yeah, okay. I'll be right there.
Is everything okay?
Nah, not really.
Okay. You know, if you have to go, Ryan, go.
It's fine, really. I get it.
You do?
No, I don't,
but I get that something is pulling you under,
and I get that you can't let it go.
So whatever it is, please, just go deal with it,
and find me when you're done.
I'm right here.
I wasn't looking for you.
But I'm here now.
Whatever this game is you're playing,
you can stop it.
You don't want me to go away.
Really? What makes you say that?
You're lonely.
Right. Well, thanks for the analysis.
I feel much better.
No, look... if you need a break
from everything going on in there...
I can help.
I think I'm doing just fine on my own.
You must be Ryan. Kim?
I'm so glad you're here.
She's in there, still won't come out.
Jess!
( knocks ) Jess, it's me, open up.
You came.
Yeah, what is it?
What are you so upset about, huh?
I thought that I could have
some friends over,
and then I started missing you.
Well, let's go outside, they're worried about you.
No, no, no!
I don't want to be with my friends.
I want to be in here with you.
Yeah, well, that's not a good idea. Are you kidding?
This is the first good idea I've had.
Jim and Trey, none of those other guys
knew how to take care of me.
You know how to take care of me, Ryan.
( sighs ): All right.
It's okay.
Jess. Jess. Jess.
Hey!
You moving on already, is that what this is?
If you want to settle this with someone, settle it with me.
You want to talk outside?
Yeah.
Lock the door.
So what, you're seeing her now?
She's just a friend of my brother's.
Not that guy Trey.
Look... What?
You got to take your brother's leftovers?
MAN: Fight!
Now, listen to me. You got to stay away from this girl.
She's trying to start over, you got to let her.
None of your business, man.
You're right.
That's why I'm leaving.
JESS: Ryan!
Ryan, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Look, Jess, if you're smart,
you'll stay away from him... and my brother.
Of course, I will, after the way you fought for me.
Look, you got to stop dating guys like him.
And I got to stop dating girls like you.
Take care of yourself.
( knock at door )
Hello.
Taylor, I really don't want to talk to you
about my sex problems with Summer.
Okay, okay, so the intimacy exercises
were a miserable failure,
but I don't think you should lose hope.
Why, do you have some sort of secret cure?
As a matter of fact, I do.
It's called raunchy sex.
Now, now, you don't see me as a sexual being, Seth.
I mean, I get that.
But without revealing too much, if sex were a martial art,
I would be a black belt.
Weirdly, I'm not surprised.
Now, I would like to talk to you
about a little something called the Kama Sutra.
How do you know all this?
Let's just say Dean Hess hid a treasure trove of secrets
underneath his pink shirts.
Okay. Position one.
Okay, I really don't want to picture you doing that
with the Nazi dean.
Seth, do you want your sparks back with Summer?
Yes.
Then listen and learn.
Okay, this is the yanni, and this is the lingum.
Look, Matt may not have shown the best of judgment,
but it's nothing I'd fire him over.
And the "sacrificing one life to save the many" argument?
I don't get it. The board loves you, Henry.
One phone call from you, nobody has to sacrifice anyone.
What makes you think I would do that? Business.
Our plan is the best one, you know that.
It makes me wonder about the board, though.
That they'd scrap a lucrative project over something like this.
It makes no sense from a business perspective,
but... maybe it's personal.
This is about Maya.
Isn't it?
She cried for days over him.
I'm sorry, Henry...
but you didn't have to lie to me.
I'm just a father looking after his daughter.
Reason and logic don't stand a chance.
I understand that.
All different kinds of loyalty, Sandy, I chose mine.
Now you choose yours.
What's it going to be?
Hospital or Matt?
( phone ringing )
Hey, Coop.
You okay, Summ?
Yeah, just Cohen called.
He's coming over, he wants to talk.
It doesn't bode well.
Well, maybe he's coming to patch things up.
Or maybe he's coming over to break up with me.
Anyway, it means that I can't hang out tonight, okay?
Oh, hey, I totally understand.
Just call me later.
Okay.
Hey.
Hey, how'd it go?
Fine. Fine.
Matt called a couple of times.
He sounded nervous.
( phone ringing )
Matt?
Yeah.
I'll let you talk to him.
I'm going to go lock up the house.
( sighs )
( footsteps approaching )
Oh, hey.
I-I didn't know you were here.
Yeah.
Didn't you have a date with Sadie tonight?
Almost, but then...
That girl Jess again?
Yeah, I think I finally learned my lesson,
but now it might be too late.
It's never too late.
You just have to talk to her.
( knocking )
Hey, am I interrupting?
Princess Sparkles is here for emotional support,
helping to cushion me before the fall.
Well, you may want to put her in her drawer,
'cause I don't think she should see
what's about to happen. That bad?
Now, for the next 20 minutes, or 24 hours,
if I turn out to be Sting, you have to keep an open mind.
What are you talking about?
Now, if you'll be so kind
as to disrobe, we will begin with the wheelbarrow position.
Oh, my God. Ew.
Now, as it turns out, I have recently been schooled
in the art of Tantric sex.
Where, some pervy Internet chat room?
No, no, no.
It was very tasteful. Taylor came over...
What?
Taylor, like, came over to your house
and gave you one-on-one sex education?
Is that a no to the wheelbarrow? I'll wheelbarrow you.
Mmm, mmm.
( both moaning )
Hi.
My brother and I used to play with these when we were little.
Especially when my mom was drinking.
We'd...
( sighs ): go in the back bedroom and play cars and...
pretend we didn't hear anything.
He always used to tell me that...
he'd save up and buy us a Camaro one day.
We'd blow town and never come back.
It wasn't going to happen, so...
one day, he tried to steal one.
I was there.
Somehow that landed me here and him in Vegas.
Now we don't talk anymore.
And you didn't tell me because...?
I-I guess I'm not used to unloading on people.
Too busy being loaded on, I guess.
I don't know.
But I wanted to start over with you.
You know, I have many talents.
One of them is listening.
You've just got to let me do it.
Deal.
That's not to say we should just be talking.
Whoa.
Yeah, whoa.
You know, it's a good thing I put Princess Sparkle away for that.
To think it was that amazing,
and we didn't even get to the wheelbarrow.
You know, we should make a pact.
If we go away to college together,
we should, like, fight, like, every day.
I'm pretty sure I can make that happen.
( laughs )
( giggles )
Sorry. ( giggling ): Oh, no.
*