1
00:00:00,768 --> 00:00:01,702
Previously on The O.C.:

2
00:00:01,769 --> 00:00:02,570
You married me

3
00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:03,204
because I was pregnant.

4
00:00:03,271 --> 00:00:04,138
I married you

5
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,206
because I loved you.

6
00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:06,307
I've worked with him

7
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:07,808
side by side
all this time.

8
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:08,909
How could I have not known

9
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,111
that he was bribing this woman

10
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,579
from the City Council?

11
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:12,946
I spoke with Renee
Wheeler today.

12
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,348
I know about
the affair.
What?

13
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,484
16 years is an
awfully long time

14
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,018
to be paying
someone palimony,

15
00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:19,019
unless there was a child.

16
00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,654
I'm talking too much.

17
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,223
I get nervous, and
I start talking,
and then nothing

18
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:23,291
can shut me up.

19
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,525
If you were to come forward

20
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:25,926
to the judge
with the right documentation,

21
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,561
the D.A.'d drop
the charges.

22
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:30,198
Mom, what are
you doing here?

23
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,919
What is the point of living
in Southern California

24
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,788
if it's gonna be
this cold?

25
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,624
50 degrees
in December, Cal.

26
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:57,758
That ain't cold.

27
00:00:57,825 --> 00:01:00,394
Well, my blood
must have gotten thinner.

28
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:03,531
Or you got ice
in your veins.

29
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,768
This time next year,

30
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:11,905
I could be spending
the holidays behind bars.

31
00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,607
Now, that gives me
a chill.

32
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:16,610
I don't know how you feel
about it.

33
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:17,611
Warm and fuzzy.

34
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:20,814
How do you think
it makes me feel, Sandy?

35
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,717
What the hell else can I do?

36
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:24,852
You can come forward.

37
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,387
Trial's right around
the corner.

38
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:27,855
Renee's gonna plead the Fifth,

39
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:31,759
and when she does,
you're sunk...

40
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,927
unless you tell the truth.

41
00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:35,596
No, I can't.

42
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:36,997
You know I can't.

43
00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:37,865
What about the child?

44
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,867
Which child?
Lindsay?

45
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,505
How do you know her name?

46
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,009
But yeah.

47
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,644
What happens to her?

48
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:51,712
Spare me.

49
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,047
You're not trying
to protect Lindsay.

50
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,016
You're trying
to protect yourself,

51
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:57,451
'cause you know
once you come clean,

52
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,220
you're gonna get
what's coming to you.

53
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:03,324
Facing Kirsten and Julie
has got to be better

54
00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:05,125
than going to jail.

55
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:07,928
Kirsten, maybe.

56
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,397
Not Julie.

57
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,967
Well... then this is it.

58
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,002
I'm done.

59
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,104
So are you.

60
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,472
Happy holidays.

61
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:43,931
SETH:
Mother?

62
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,467
Did you not clean out the
menorah from last year?

63
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,168
The shammes is looking
a little bit waxy.

64
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:49,102
Uh, sorry.

65
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,371
I'll get right on that.

66
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:52,105
Uh, Seth, a little
help here, please.

67
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,575
Thanks, Mom, 'cause we can't
afford to cut any corners.

68
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,977
Now, if my sense of a cultural
zeitgeist is accurate...

69
00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:58,011
Be careful.

70
00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,547
...and I do believe
it is...

71
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:02,015
this is the year that
Chrismukkah sweeps the nation,

72
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,284
okay, people?

73
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,918
Ryan, it's so nice
to have someone

74
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:05,953
to help around the house.

75
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,321
You're absolutely right.

76
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:08,856
It is, which is
why this year,

77
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,991
I've created
a Chrismukkah
work wheel,

78
00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:13,126
so that everybody understands
his and her duties

79
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,194
this holiday season.

80
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:16,230
VoilГ .

81
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:18,632
You're kidding me.

82
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:19,667
Does it look like I'm kidding?

83
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:20,934
Let me guess what your job is.

84
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:22,770
Uh, I'm supervising, smart ass.

85
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:23,971
Well, that's big of you.

86
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,339
Yeah, but I'm also overseeing
licensing

87
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,540
and merchandising, okay?

88
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,108
T-shirts, mugs,
should it come to that,

89
00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:29,777
and I'm penning
a Chrismukkah hymn

90
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:31,545
set to Death Cab's
"A Lack of Color."

91
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,146
Ah, all the makings
of a classic.

92
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,147
Is Death Cab a band?

93
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,215
Ooh, around we go on the wheel,

94
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,650
and...
( grunts ).

95
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,218
Mother, you're in charge
of interior decor, okay?

96
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,753
Now, that's gonna mean,
uh, trimmings,

97
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,422
ornaments, frosting
of the windows.

98
00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:42,990
Don't really know,
don't really care,

99
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:43,857
just make it classy.

100
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:44,858
I'll do my best.

101
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:45,893
I've invited

102
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,761
the Nichols
or the Cooper-Nichols

103
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,162
or whatever
they're called these days.

104
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,264
They're called gentiles

105
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,832
and a whole slew
of them at that.

106
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,734
Now, we're gonna have
to really put our heads together

107
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,303
and do some serious
Jewcruitment. Ryan?

108
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,104
Do you think you can
rope in some Hebrews?

109
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,171
Blonde hair, blue eyes?

110
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,172
Yeah, no problem. I'm a natural.

111
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,808
Fair point, my Aryan friend.

112
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:04,812
Okay, where are we gonna find
some Jews in Orange County?

113
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,614
Father!
I have

114
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,350
just discovered the ideal job
for you this Chrismukkah.

115
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:10,951
Chrismukkah.

116
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,353
Oh, leave me out of it.

117
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:18,992
Oy, humbug.
Oy, humbug.

118
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:22,396
( piano and acoustic guitar
strumming gentle melody )

119
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,934
* California, here we come *

120
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,304
* Right back where
we started from *

121
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:33,507
* California... *

122
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:52,826
Your dad
seemed pretty upset.

123
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,995
Ah, you know my dad
and the holidays.

124
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,096
He likes a slow build,

125
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:57,565
doesn't want to peak
too soon.

126
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,167
It's a long holiday.
You gotta pace yourself.

127
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,435
Hey!

128
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,137
It's a marathon
of presents, not a race.

129
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:05,806
To get through
this holiday season,

130
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:06,974
you must set a pace.

131
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,142
Those are really
good lyrics for the song.

132
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:10,444
Do you have a pen on you?

133
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:11,879
You're not really
writing a song, are you?

134
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,080
Hey, for Chrismukkah

135
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,048
to sweep the nation,
we're gonna need an anthem.

136
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,184
And I'm thinking of having
Little Jo-Jo record it.

137
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,853
So, in keeping with bringing
Chrismukkah to the masses,
you're inviting Alex?

138
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,955
Yeah, I did. She's
away with her folks.
Uh-huh.

139
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,824
Probably at some Club
Med tattoo parlor.

140
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,226
I don't know. What about you?
Uh, uh, is Lindsay around?

141
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:27,361
Uh, yeah. I think she is.

142
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:28,261
You gonna invite her?

143
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,397
Ah, I can't.

144
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,631
I mean, it's kind
of a big step.

145
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:31,899
And with Marissa there,
it'd just...

146
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,601
it'd be too weird
for her, for Lindsay.

147
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,735
That's the thing-- Marissa's
not gonna be there.

148
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,236
I had my mom draw up
a seating chart,

149
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:37,571
and she said she's gonna
be with her dad.

150
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:38,939
Really?
Yeah.

151
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,774
Well, we just got things
to a good place, you know?

152
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,643
I got a little
mystery back.
Hmm. All right.

153
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,311
Inviting her over
for the holiday.

154
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:45,679
it feels like I might
be rushing things.

155
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,781
Then don't do it, man.
Do not do it.

156
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,918
The last thing you want
to do is rush things.

157
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,455
What are you doing?
We're gonna be late.

158
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:57,658
( moaning )

159
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,895
Are you sure
we're not rushing things?

160
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:04,264
Well, you know...

161
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,833
we were married
for 17 years, so...

162
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,402
Oh, it's just we've...

163
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,003
It's been so long
since we've done this.

164
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,574
Well, it's like...
it's like riding a bike.

165
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:17,110
Well, an incredibly-toned
and, you know,

166
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:20,548
evenly-tanned
and limber bike.

167
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:23,350
You know, with
a really sharp mind

168
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:26,420
and an incredible sense

169
00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,922
of, of, uh...
interior design.

170
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:32,426
( moaning )

171
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:35,863
Oh, slow down. I'm sorry.

172
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:40,267
Uh... i-it's, just,
does this count,

173
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,302
um, as, as adultery?

174
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:43,671
Well, you know...

175
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,973
cheating on your husband
with your ex-husband?

176
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:50,077
Technically, I-I think,
uh, it does, yeah.

177
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,580
Oh...

178
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:55,983
Wait, I'm sorry.
It's just... okay...

179
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,150
What?

180
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,586
Caleb and I aren't
getting along.

181
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,521
I mean, he hasn't
touched me in months.

182
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,222
It's... he's probably
going to jail.

183
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:06,594
Well, it's wonderful
how maturely you're
handling it all.

184
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:08,629
I don't hear you
complaining.

185
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,499
Well, do you
want to stop?

186
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,802
No.

187
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:25,112
Thanks for coming
on such short notice.

188
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,714
I don't have much
of a lunch break, so...

189
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,583
Why did you want
to meet here?

190
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,218
I've run out of
places to go.

191
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,921
I-I've had so many
clandestine meetings
lately, I've...

192
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,056
I feel like I'm in
an Oliver Stone movie.

193
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,660
I-I know you feel that
if you come forward

194
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,629
you're going to lose
your daughter.

195
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,330
You may lose her
either way.

196
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:45,699
The DA's convinced
that Caleb was
bribing somebody

197
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:47,134
in the City
Councilman's office,

198
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,602
bribing you.

199
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,838
And unless somebody
testifies differently,

200
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,841
they have enough evidence
to send you to jail.

201
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:59,513
How do I tell my daughter
that I've been lying to her

202
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,348
her whole life?

203
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:02,850
Inventing a father
she never had,

204
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,718
keeping her from meeting
her family?

205
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:05,986
Maybe it's time she met 'em.

206
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:08,622
Maybe it's time
to stop lying.

207
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,791
Caleb won't come forward.

208
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,325
I can't.

209
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:13,927
You're our last hope.

210
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:17,831
I'm sorry.

211
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:26,506
Hey.

212
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:27,775
Hey.
So, you're gonna study

213
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,176
through all the Christmas break?

214
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,978
I hope so.

215
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:33,847
Keep me distracted
from having to remember
it's actually Christmas.

216
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,482
Not a fan of the holidays.

217
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:36,483
Who is?

218
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,752
Uh, well, Seth, actually.

219
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:41,555
He's even invented his own
super-holiday, Chrismukkah.

220
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,256
Chrismukkah?

221
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,192
Yeah.
( chuckles )

222
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,327
Well, um, that's cute.

223
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:51,832
I guess. It's, uh,
it's eight days of gifts,

224
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:55,002
followed by one day
of many, many gifts.

225
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,671
We eat Chinese food
and watch Christmas movies.

226
00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:00,007
Although last year we watched
Over the Top.

227
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:01,709
Mm. Well, a classic,

228
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,744
any time of year.
That's what I'm saying.

229
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,278
( chuckles )

230
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,748
Me and my mom, we, um...

231
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:10,483
stopped even
buying a tree.

232
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,920
It always just
looked so sad

233
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,988
with just two
gifts under it.

234
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,025
When I was little...

235
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,927
( chuckles )

236
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,195
uh, all my friends
were waiting

237
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,731
for something from Santa,

238
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:28,669
and... I was just... hoping

239
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:32,072
for something...

240
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,107
anything from my dad.

241
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,944
Still waiting?

242
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:40,013
Not anymore.

243
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:45,552
Every kid grows up,
stops believing in Santa.

244
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,888
I stopped believing in my dad.

245
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:52,225
And there's no pine
needles to clean up.

246
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,661
So...

247
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:59,099
Disappointed by your family
over the holidays.

248
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:00,668
I've been there.

249
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,203
So, do what I did:

250
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,238
find another family
to spend 'em with.

251
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,007
Um...

252
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,341
come over.

253
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,744
Come over for Chrismukkah?

254
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,646
It'd be better
if you were Jewish.

255
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:14,848
There's a ratio issue.

256
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:17,150
( chuckles )
But it'll be fun,

257
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,752
and Seth will keep you
very distracted.

258
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,520
Do you think we can
watch Over the Top?

259
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:21,955
I think I could watch
that movie 100 times

260
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,156
and never get sick of it.

261
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,257
( chuckles )

262
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,795
Where's Zack?

263
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,562
I'm not used to seeing
you without him.

264
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,265
He left early for Christmas
in Cabo with his fam.

265
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:34,835
He's been gone one day,
and I miss him already.

266
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:38,706
DJ's in Sacramento
with his family for two weeks.

267
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:39,773
I miss him, too.

268
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,775
Well, this should be
a fun break.

269
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,844
Me, you, Caleb
and my step-monster.

270
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:44,945
Should be one
for the ages.

271
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,980
We could start spiking
the eggnog.

272
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:47,614
Coop!

273
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,116
Kidding.

274
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,150
Kind of.

275
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,719
Actually, not really.

276
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,022
This sucks.

277
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,623
Last year the holidays
were so much fun.

278
00:10:56,690 --> 00:11:00,761
Yeah. I got rejected by Cohen
in a Wonder Woman costume,

279
00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:02,629
and you got caught shoplifting.

280
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:03,864
Yeah. It was memorable, though.

281
00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:05,833
I guess it was.

282
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,367
Hey, can I get
a large coffee, please?

283
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:08,501
Thanks.

284
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:09,770
Hey, guys.
Merry Chrismukkah.

285
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,171
Don't remind us.

286
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:12,873
I forgot about your
festive little holiday.

287
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:15,976
Okay. My color-coded
holiday alert system

288
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,510
is attacking you two.

289
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:18,846
You're Taupe.

290
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,547
Come on-- that's
a very dangerously

291
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,850
low level of holiday cheer.

292
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,118
Well, I don't know what
you're talking about, Cohen.

293
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,055
I, for one, am looking
forward to dinner
with my stepmom

294
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,689
face down in
her Christmas ham.

295
00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:32,125
And I can't wait to be
on my dad's boat

296
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,762
and hear him talk about
how much he misses Hailey.

297
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,096
Wait a second, guys.

298
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:37,865
Summer, Marissa,

299
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:41,001
on behalf of Jesus
and Judah Maccabee,

300
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:43,470
and the Cohens, I would like
to cordially invite you both

301
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,138
and your dad, Marissa--

302
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,741
but not yours, Summer, because
he both scares and hates me--

303
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,777
to come celebrate
a little holiday

304
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,212
I like to call Chrismukkah.

305
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,714
It's also sort of my way
for apologizing

306
00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:56,784
for the whole snow-sea debacle.

307
00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,753
Sure, why not?
Okay, I'm in.
Whatever.

308
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:03,123
Hey, somebody just went
from taupe to putty.

309
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,828
Kirsten, are you ready
for the investors' meeting?

310
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:10,764
I was, and I
attended the meeting...

311
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,232
two hours ago.

312
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,767
What? Two hours...

313
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,502
( sighs ):
Oh!

314
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,005
My new assistant
is constantly putting
the wrong numbers

315
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,807
into my, my,
my Blackberry.

316
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,775
Mm. We tried to reach you
all morning.

317
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,944
Well, my battery
must have died.

318
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:25,779
( cell phone rings tune )

319
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:26,880
Or not.

320
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,615
( cell phone tune plays )

321
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:31,151
That's so funny that
that's Jimmy's favorite song.

322
00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:31,952
Is it?

323
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,220
Huh, I forgot.

324
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,521
That's why you got
that ring tone.

325
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,256
I got "Hungry Like The Wolf."

326
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:37,257
He got "The Hustle."

327
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:39,259
I was there when you
picked them out.

328
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:40,160
Oh, it is Jimmy.

329
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:41,761
Oh, nothing
gets by you, Kirsten.

330
00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:43,063
You've got a memory
like an elephant.

331
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,665
You gonna answer it?

332
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:46,967
Oh, no. It's just Jimmy.

333
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,235
I thought you two
were getting along

334
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,903
really well.
What makes you say that?

335
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,571
Last week, when you said
that you and Jimmy

336
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:53,506
were getting along really well.

337
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,276
Julie, you okay?
You seem a little frazzled.

338
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,445
Oh, well, you know,
I didn't get a chance

339
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,481
to blow my hair out
this morning, so, you know, I...

340
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:04,284
I said "frazzled," not "frizzy."

341
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:07,988
SETH:
Hey, man.

342
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:09,222
Is dinner ready yet?

343
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,757
No. Your dad's
at the grill.

344
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:12,792
( sighs heavily ):
Oh. I'm famished.

345
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,627
All this planning
for the big day.

346
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:16,029
Really taking it
out of ya, huh?

347
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:19,933
Hey. Ye of little faith,
trust those of mixed faith.

348
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,435
Okay, this year,
it's gonna be off the charts.

349
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:23,470
It's gonna be cochise.

350
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,172
What's cochise?

351
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,974
It's the highest level
of holiday cheer

352
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,042
on my color-coded holiday
alert system, that's all.

353
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,210
Cochise is a color?

354
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,678
Yeah, it's in
the beige family.

355
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,146
Couldn't go with, like,
blue, could you?

356
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:34,581
Listen to me.
It's gonna be awesome, okay?

357
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,416
I think especially now
that Marissa and Summer

358
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,817
are coming...
Whoa, Marissa's coming over?

359
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,252
I thought she was with her dad.

360
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,188
Yeah, she was, but she's
all bummed out about it,

361
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:42,990
and I figured since, you know,
you're not inviting Lindsay...

362
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,691
Except I did invite Lindsay.

363
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,459
That's awkward.

364
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,695
Seth... ( sighs )
what am I gonna do?

365
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,031
I can't have Lindsay and Marissa
hanging out together.

366
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,900
It's too weird.
I agree.

367
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,168
Not helping.
Oh, God.

368
00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:57,570
What if it's starting?
What if what's starting?

369
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,072
The Christmukkah backlash.

370
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,974
What if it's getting
too big and commercial?

371
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,109
I have a feeling
I'm done studying.

372
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,843
Dude, I knew this would happen.

373
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,078
It's like it starts out

374
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,080
as this really cool
cult holiday.

375
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,982
You know, flying beneath
the cultural radar,

376
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,984
and then all of a sudden
it crosses over,

377
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,419
and then there's
too much pressure.

378
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:13,520
I mean, truthfully,

379
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,155
can it really be
the next Thanksgiving?

380
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:16,924
Can it top Halloween?
This feels off topic.

381
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:20,127
The government, they're
gonna be asking me
to create new holidays.

382
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,062
"Seth, what about Eastover
or, or Kwanzaashanah."

383
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:23,964
All right,
we can't let it happen.
Hey, guys.

384
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,065
Can't talk now, Dad.

385
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:26,366
We have an emergency
on our hands.

386
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:27,600
What's going on?

387
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,769
Nothing.
Ryan invited Lindsay
over tomorrow,

388
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,972
setting off a wildfire
that threatens man, woman,

389
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:33,340
and Christmukkah.

390
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:36,076
You invited Lindsay over here?

391
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,077
Uh, yeah,
is that okay?

392
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,511
Oh, sure.
You ask him.

393
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,247
I don't think
it's such a good idea.

394
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:43,050
It isn't?

395
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,952
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to impose.

396
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:46,486
Well, no,
it's not that.

397
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,957
You know we have a pretty
liberal open-door policy.

398
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,025
It's, it's, uh...

399
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:55,562
How serious is it
between you guys?

400
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:56,829
Uh, I don't know.

401
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,465
You know,
there's still mystery.

402
00:14:58,531 --> 00:14:59,432
( clears throat )

403
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,601
Well, maybe not mystery,
but suspense.

404
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:02,502
So you really like her?

405
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,570
He wants to see her naked.

406
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:04,938
Okay, I hate it
when you do this...

407
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,006
Sorry.

408
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:07,640
Yeah. Yeah, I'm starting to.

409
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,109
I mean, should I not?

410
00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:11,178
Her mom's involved
with Caleb's case.

411
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,014
It's, uh... the timing

412
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:16,049
is probably not great,
given everything.

413
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,218
Yeah, yeah, okay.

414
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:19,119
Okay?

415
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,121
Except, I mean,
what does Lindsay

416
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,622
have to do with
Caleb's case?

417
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:23,823
And what is she, like,

418
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,192
Caleb's hitman?
Drug dealer?

419
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,593
Illegitimate love child?

420
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,228
( utensil rattles )

421
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,410
This stays between us.

422
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,750
At least until we make it
through these holidays.

423
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:53,286
Come on.
Dinner's served.

424
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:01,461
Hey. Going somewhere?

425
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:02,462
Lindsay's.

426
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:04,431
Gotta un-invite her,
like your dad said.

427
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,865
You are?

428
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:07,734
Well, she can't be here
if Caleb's gonna be here.

429
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,136
No, hey, man.

430
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,538
We thought her and Marissa
together would be awkward.

431
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:13,873
And, uh, I need you
to do something for me.

432
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,042
Yeah, sure.

433
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,243
Dude, name it.
Anything.

434
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,744
I need you
to un-invite Summer.

435
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,512
I can't do that.

436
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:20,280
It's rude.

437
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:21,681
Well, I gotta tell Lindsay

438
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,550
we're not doing
Christmukkah this year.

439
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,785
If she then finds out that
Marissa and Summer came over...

440
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:28,021
I see your point. Yeah.

441
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,622
Well, while you're out...

442
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,358
I mean, you're already gonna
have your speech down, anyway.

443
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,493
Maybe you could go ahead
and stop by Summer's for me.

444
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:34,927
Dude, please.

445
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:38,131
She's not gonna
take it well, man.
Neither is Lindsay.

446
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,541
( sighs )

447
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,814
Hi.
Hi.

448
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:55,682
Oh.

449
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:56,916
Happy Christmukkah.

450
00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:58,085
Yeah. Can we talk?

451
00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,752
Oh, yeah. But first,
I have to show you

452
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:00,853
what I made for tonight.

453
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,522
Oh, all right.

454
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,429
Hey, Merry Christmukkah,
Cohen.
Oh.

455
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,597
Yes, it is.

456
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,565
I think tonight is
gonna be so much fun.

457
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,767
Yeah, it'll be great.
Can I talk to you for a second?

458
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,836
Sure. But first,
can you help me

459
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,071
pick out
a Christmas tree?

460
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,006
I'm feeling
all festive today.

461
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,308
Festive, huh?

462
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,909
LINDSAY:
Okay, okay, I know everything

463
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,112
I said about not being into
the holidays, which is true.

464
00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:26,646
But then I start thinking
about Christmukkah,

465
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,681
and hanging out with
you and the Cohens...

466
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:29,849
Right, and about that...

467
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:31,218
And I got inspired.

468
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:32,819
And I stayed up all night.

469
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,823
And you're gonna think
I'm a really big dork, but...

470
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,591
Okay...
( sighs )

471
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:39,692
Here.

472
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:43,930
It's a yarmul-Claus!

473
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,765
A yarmul-Claus.

474
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,634
Wow.

475
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,068
That's, wow.

476
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,570
Yeah! Yeah, and I made
a whole bunch,

477
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:53,640
and it was fun,
and I never have fun
this time of year.

478
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,575
And I don't know if it
was the new holiday

479
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:57,577
or the idea of spending time
with a family

480
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:59,812
who actually enjoys
the holiday, but...

481
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:03,316
Oh, God.

482
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:06,453
Wow, um,
listen to me again.

483
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,789
What did you want
to talk about?

484
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:13,960
Could you bring
eggnog tonight?

485
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,828
Yeah. I'd love to.

486
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,410
Mm.

487
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:34,581
Fresh minty aroma,
symmetrical conical shape...

488
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:35,982
Great. Let's go.

489
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:37,817
A bit too bushy.
Moving on.

490
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,854
Hmm...

491
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,390
Huh.

492
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,125
Good needle
retention,

493
00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,294
nice scent.

494
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,061
Mm... feels a bit dry.

495
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,831
I don't think it's gonna
last much longer.

496
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,166
Summer, neither am I, okay.

497
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,934
All these trees look the same.

498
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,403
Look, Cohen, when it comes to

499
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,605
Haggadahs, dreidels
and guilt, you the man.

500
00:18:58,671 --> 00:18:59,939
When it comes
to Christmas trees,

501
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,574
mm, a bit out
of your wheel house.

502
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:02,975
I'm just saying
we've been here for hours.

503
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:04,277
You are right.

504
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,045
If I don't pull
the trigger soon,

505
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:08,281
we are gonna be late
to your house.

506
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:09,682
Hey, about that, um...

507
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,885
You know, Cohen, I just
think it's really cool

508
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,254
that you invited me tonight.

509
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,189
You know, after everything
we've been through,

510
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,658
you were able to put aside
our differences.

511
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,760
I just think
you're really changing

512
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:24,297
and that maybe
we're actually friends.

513
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,000
Great.

514
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:29,869
( clears throat )

515
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,170
Mistletoe.

516
00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:35,908
( chuckles )

517
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:40,847
There something you wanted
to talk to me about?

518
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,085
How do you feel
about making latkes?

519
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,654
I'd love to.

520
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,190
And could you just carry
this tree to my car?

521
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:53,926
Thanks.

522
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:09,809
Hey, buddy.

523
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,411
Hello, friend.

524
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:12,912
How'd it go with Summer?

525
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,681
How did it go with Lindsay?

526
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,115
She take it better
than expected?

527
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:18,451
Uh, well... ( sighs )

528
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:19,819
I couldn't do it.

529
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,788
What? You wussed out?

530
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,891
It's just she's always miserable
during the holidays.
Dude.

531
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,659
She made a yarmul-Claus.

532
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:27,994
A yarmu-what?

533
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:35,702
Holy Moses,
it's beautiful.

534
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:37,203
At least Marissa and Summer
aren't coming.

535
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,972
Yeah. About that, um...

536
00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:41,641
Hey, guys.

537
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:46,579
Yarmul-Claus.

538
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:47,780
Yarmu-what?

539
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,316
It's so cute.

540
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,022
Well, if it isn't the Grinch
and Lady Grinch.

541
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,457
I brought fruitcake.

542
00:20:57,524 --> 00:20:58,558
You shouldn't have.

543
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,860
May I take your... coats?

544
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,362
We talk?

545
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:03,796
That's up to you.

546
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:07,834
Mmm.

547
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,269
Julie, sorry.
I couldn't resist.

548
00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:11,638
This orange chicken is...

549
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:15,041
God, I have missed you
all day.

550
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,609
Still chewing.

551
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:17,910
I know.
I feel the same way.

552
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,045
Oh, what are we doing?

553
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,347
I can't stop
thinking about you.

554
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:21,814
I know, I know, I know.
You know what?

555
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,883
Meet me in the bathroom
in, like, 90 seconds...

556
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,485
Julie, is there any room
in the refrig...

557
00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:27,920
Keep your fingers out of
the food till we eat, Jimmy.

558
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,156
God. No manners.

559
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:31,824
Sorry,
I couldn't resist.

560
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:36,028
I'm... gonna go wash up.

561
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:43,302
Yeah.

562
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:50,009
Thanks for the ride, Mom.

563
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:54,146
Are you sure you
want to do this?

564
00:21:54,213 --> 00:21:56,082
I mean, we hate
the holidays.

565
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,517
That's our pact.

566
00:21:57,584 --> 00:22:00,920
Maybe it's time
to get over that...

567
00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:03,022
get over Dad.

568
00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:06,125
It's Christmukkah.

569
00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:08,027
Ah, so you keep on saying.

570
00:22:08,094 --> 00:22:11,798
We can go see a movie,
double feature.

571
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,634
Have fun.

572
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:21,741
Oh, hello.
Hi.

573
00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:22,942
You're Seth and Ryan's
friend, right?

574
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:24,176
Uh, yeah.

575
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:26,879
Me and Ryan are more
like lab partners, really.

576
00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:27,914
Well, come on in.

577
00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:37,524
Summer, come on.
I'm trying.

578
00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:39,125
That killer clown
is not gonna
kill himself.

579
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:41,060
Faster. You've got to get
more aggressive, Summer.

580
00:22:41,127 --> 00:22:41,661
Ki-kick him. Kick.

581
00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:43,029
Yeah.

582
00:22:43,095 --> 00:22:46,032
You know, you can sit a
little bit closer. I don't bite.

583
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:48,801
Happy Chrismukkah.

584
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:52,071
ALL:
Hey.

585
00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:53,072
Hi.
Hi.

586
00:22:53,139 --> 00:22:54,373
Hey.

587
00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:56,609
PlayStation?

588
00:22:57,644 --> 00:22:59,412
Uh...
( chuckles )

589
00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:02,148
I love the holidays.

590
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:03,115
Just...

591
00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:05,017
bringing
everyone together.

592
00:23:06,753 --> 00:23:10,757
So I've been
thinking about everything,

593
00:23:10,823 --> 00:23:13,960
about the whole family,
about the holidays.

594
00:23:14,026 --> 00:23:16,395
Where are we going
with this, Cal?

595
00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:20,433
I need to tell the truth.

596
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,101
I need to tell Kirsten.

597
00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:25,204
Well, you've got a hell
of a sense of timing.

598
00:23:25,271 --> 00:23:27,139
Oh, there's no good time.

599
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:28,174
That's true.

600
00:23:30,176 --> 00:23:32,912
So what are you gonna say?

601
00:23:32,979 --> 00:23:36,483
Well, I was hoping that you
could help me with that part.

602
00:23:39,986 --> 00:23:41,420
Oh, hi, Renee.

603
00:23:41,488 --> 00:23:43,289
A-Are you looking for Lindsay?

604
00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:46,058
Actually, I was wondering...

605
00:23:48,394 --> 00:23:49,862
Can-can I talk to you?

606
00:23:53,566 --> 00:23:55,234
Can I get you a drink?

607
00:23:55,301 --> 00:23:56,302
A glass of wine, maybe?

608
00:23:56,368 --> 00:23:57,403
No, thank you,

609
00:23:57,470 --> 00:23:59,305
and I know this
is a terrible time

610
00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:00,940
for me to be showing up.

611
00:24:01,007 --> 00:24:02,308
Oh, not at all.

612
00:24:02,374 --> 00:24:04,143
Is everything okay?

613
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,949
I'm gonna have a glass of wine.

614
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:15,421
You have
a beautiful house.

615
00:24:15,488 --> 00:24:17,490
Thank you.

616
00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:22,695
A-And what I want to say to you,

617
00:24:22,762 --> 00:24:24,631
i-it should be Caleb
who's saying it.

618
00:24:24,697 --> 00:24:26,365
Well, he's here.

619
00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:27,767
He is?

620
00:24:27,834 --> 00:24:29,135
Would you like me to go get him?

621
00:24:29,201 --> 00:24:31,170
No. Uh...

622
00:24:31,237 --> 00:24:32,972
I should be...

623
00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:34,373
Uh, this-this...

624
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:35,708
This isn't
the right time.

625
00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:36,509
Renee.

626
00:24:36,576 --> 00:24:37,810
Caleb.

627
00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:39,712
What are you doing here?

628
00:24:41,113 --> 00:24:42,615
She's doing what
you're about to do.

629
00:24:42,682 --> 00:24:43,850
I call dibs on dumplings.

630
00:24:43,916 --> 00:24:45,451
You now call dibs
on everything.

631
00:24:45,518 --> 00:24:47,186
When do we watch
Over the Top?

632
00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:48,154
Maybe you should
speak first.

633
00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:50,156
LINDSAY:
Mom.

634
00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:52,424
Lindsay.

635
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,126
Lindsay.

636
00:24:54,193 --> 00:24:55,728
Um, have we met?

637
00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:59,799
Lindsay, sweetie,
could you just, uh...

638
00:24:59,866 --> 00:25:00,800
just give
us a moment?

639
00:25:00,867 --> 00:25:02,468
Why? What's going on?

640
00:25:02,535 --> 00:25:04,571
That's what I'd like to know.

641
00:25:05,972 --> 00:25:07,273
Uh, I-I'm gonna go.
This isn't right.

642
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:08,474
No one's
going anywhere

643
00:25:08,541 --> 00:25:09,542
until someone tells me

644
00:25:09,609 --> 00:25:11,077
what the hell is going on.

645
00:25:11,143 --> 00:25:13,279
Hey, what's going on?

646
00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:15,615
Good thing
the kitchen is roomy.

647
00:25:19,151 --> 00:25:22,021
Cal, why don't you
take it from here?

648
00:25:24,123 --> 00:25:25,858
I can't believe you
just showed up like this.

649
00:25:25,925 --> 00:25:28,260
Did you really think we could
get away with it forever?

650
00:25:28,327 --> 00:25:29,962
Get away with what?

651
00:25:30,697 --> 00:25:32,899
Dad, start speaking.

652
00:25:32,965 --> 00:25:34,734
Well, does everyone
have to be here for this?

653
00:25:34,801 --> 00:25:36,268
Be here for what, Cal?

654
00:25:38,337 --> 00:25:41,507
( sighs )

655
00:25:41,574 --> 00:25:42,742
I'm sorry it
had to happen

656
00:25:42,809 --> 00:25:44,644
like this, Lindsay.

657
00:25:46,345 --> 00:25:47,313
Kirsten...

658
00:25:48,915 --> 00:25:50,650
I had hoped
that I could protect you both

659
00:25:50,717 --> 00:25:52,919
from this forever, but...

660
00:25:52,985 --> 00:25:56,088
well, circumstances
being what they are,

661
00:25:56,155 --> 00:25:58,224
where your mother and I

662
00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:00,292
face going to prison,

663
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,294
well, there really
is no choice.

664
00:26:02,361 --> 00:26:06,198
16 years ago, I made...

665
00:26:10,502 --> 00:26:14,073
I made an error in judgment,

666
00:26:14,140 --> 00:26:17,076
one that almost
ruined my marriage.

667
00:26:17,143 --> 00:26:19,145
Oh, my God.

668
00:26:19,211 --> 00:26:20,246
Oh, my God.

669
00:26:20,312 --> 00:26:21,280
No way.

670
00:26:23,049 --> 00:26:24,350
RENEE:
I'm so sorry, sweetie.

671
00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:25,952
I should have told you.

672
00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:30,156
You're my father?

673
00:26:40,232 --> 00:26:41,333
Lindsay, wait.

674
00:26:54,914 --> 00:26:56,949
I don't know what to say.

675
00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:03,122
Get out of my house.

676
00:27:07,159 --> 00:27:11,130
Do you think I should go
and talk to her?

677
00:27:13,165 --> 00:27:15,902
I think you should
be ashamed of yourself.

678
00:27:19,538 --> 00:27:20,740
I'll handle your mom.

679
00:27:28,014 --> 00:27:28,981
Hi.

680
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,161
I should talk to Lindsay.

681
00:27:43,562 --> 00:27:45,097
I'm gonna go check
on my mom, you guys.

682
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:46,332
Uh...
Just hang out.

683
00:27:52,238 --> 00:27:55,607
Suddenly, my family--
not so dysfunctional.

684
00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,643
You do know this
is my family, too.

685
00:27:57,710 --> 00:27:58,778
Right. Sorry.

686
00:27:58,845 --> 00:27:59,979
I forget sometimes.

687
00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:02,982
It's... it's confusing.

688
00:28:03,049 --> 00:28:04,951
You knew about this,
and you never told me?

689
00:28:05,017 --> 00:28:06,118
Oh, I couldn't.
You know that.

690
00:28:06,185 --> 00:28:08,654
Oh, attorney-client
privilege, Sandy.

691
00:28:08,721 --> 00:28:09,789
He cheated on my mom.

692
00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:11,523
I had a sister
I've never known.

693
00:28:11,590 --> 00:28:13,425
Oh, I know, and
we'll figure it out.

694
00:28:13,492 --> 00:28:14,393
What is there to figure out?

695
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:15,694
Kirsten, please, listen...

696
00:28:15,762 --> 00:28:17,229
Oh, no. I never want
to see you again,

697
00:28:17,296 --> 00:28:18,264
you son of a bitch!

698
00:28:18,330 --> 00:28:21,067
How could you
do that to me?! To Mom?!

699
00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:22,434
Kirsten, please. I can explain.

700
00:28:22,501 --> 00:28:23,803
Just get out!

701
00:28:29,809 --> 00:28:31,778
Kiki, honey, please.

702
00:28:33,345 --> 00:28:34,680
CALEB:
Kirsten!

703
00:28:34,747 --> 00:28:37,016
Now is not the
time, Cal. Please.

704
00:28:37,083 --> 00:28:39,018
Let me try to talk to her.
Grandpa,

705
00:28:39,085 --> 00:28:40,887
I think maybe you should leave.

706
00:28:44,223 --> 00:28:46,458
I'll be better off
going to prison.

707
00:29:02,775 --> 00:29:04,443
Is she here?

708
00:29:04,510 --> 00:29:06,278
This isn't a good time, Ryan.

709
00:29:06,345 --> 00:29:08,180
I know. I just...

710
00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:10,082
I want to talk to her
and make sure she's okay.

711
00:29:10,149 --> 00:29:11,250
She's not.

712
00:29:11,317 --> 00:29:13,986
Well, can I even talk
to her for a second?

713
00:29:15,454 --> 00:29:16,255
It's okay, Mom.

714
00:29:16,322 --> 00:29:18,757
I can speak
for myself.

715
00:29:27,199 --> 00:29:28,267
Hi.

716
00:29:31,703 --> 00:29:32,504
( sighs )

717
00:29:32,571 --> 00:29:33,639
So sorry.

718
00:29:33,705 --> 00:29:37,076
I know you want
to be alone

719
00:29:37,143 --> 00:29:38,444
right now, but, um,

720
00:29:38,510 --> 00:29:40,479
I want you to know I'm here.

721
00:29:42,514 --> 00:29:44,884
Okay?

722
00:29:47,719 --> 00:29:48,754
( sniffles )

723
00:29:48,821 --> 00:29:51,090
I think it's best...

724
00:29:51,157 --> 00:29:53,459
if we don't see
each other anymore.

725
00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:55,227
I just...

726
00:29:55,294 --> 00:29:56,695
I don't want to be

727
00:29:56,762 --> 00:29:59,431
anywhere
near your family...

728
00:29:59,498 --> 00:30:00,566
Ever.

729
00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:03,502
Um, but... thanks

730
00:30:03,569 --> 00:30:05,537
for coming by.

731
00:30:07,573 --> 00:30:09,341
Happy holidays, huh?

732
00:30:12,078 --> 00:30:15,514
( door closes )

733
00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:37,336
This year is getting even
weirder than last year.

734
00:30:37,403 --> 00:30:39,138
I know.

735
00:30:39,205 --> 00:30:42,341
My ex-boyfriend
is dating my...

736
00:30:42,408 --> 00:30:44,210
stepsister?

737
00:30:44,276 --> 00:30:45,811
I think.

738
00:30:45,878 --> 00:30:48,347
We have new boyfriends.

739
00:30:48,414 --> 00:30:52,084
And our ex-boyfriends
have new girlfriends.

740
00:30:52,151 --> 00:30:53,085
Is that what
they are--

741
00:30:53,152 --> 00:30:56,288
um, their,
uh, girlfriends?

742
00:30:56,355 --> 00:30:57,489
I think.

743
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:05,164
And now my stepdad
could be going to jail.

744
00:31:05,231 --> 00:31:07,399
Is there something
in the water?

745
00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:10,236
How'd it go?

746
00:31:10,302 --> 00:31:13,272
Hey. Is there, um,
anything we can do?

747
00:31:16,742 --> 00:31:18,344
( sighs )

748
00:31:18,410 --> 00:31:20,947
I think we have
to cancel Chrismukkah.

749
00:31:34,927 --> 00:31:36,395
Hey.
Hey.

750
00:31:36,462 --> 00:31:38,397
How's Lindsay?

751
00:31:38,464 --> 00:31:40,099
Uh, not so good.

752
00:31:40,166 --> 00:31:42,034
How'd everything
go with your mom?

753
00:31:42,101 --> 00:31:43,302
Uh, we're at "Charcoal"

754
00:31:43,369 --> 00:31:45,571
on my color-coded
holiday alert system.

755
00:31:45,637 --> 00:31:46,838
Your poor mom.

756
00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:48,207
Your poor mom.

757
00:31:48,274 --> 00:31:51,343
Yeah, of all the people
to feel sorry for here,

758
00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:53,579
she's not really
high on my list.

759
00:31:53,645 --> 00:31:55,081
So then Chrismukkah?

760
00:31:55,147 --> 00:31:57,716
Canceled. The way nature,
and apparently we, intended it.

761
00:31:57,783 --> 00:31:59,018
That is so sad.

762
00:32:00,319 --> 00:32:02,554
Chrismukkah is supposed
to bring people together.

763
00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:05,691
It's the time of year that you
look forward to most, Cohen.

764
00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:08,627
Yeah, well, you know,
my mom throwing vases

765
00:32:08,694 --> 00:32:10,963
at my grandfather's head
kind of trumps it,

766
00:32:11,030 --> 00:32:12,698
even if it has
twice the resistance

767
00:32:12,764 --> 00:32:13,932
of your average holiday.

768
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,068
RYAN:
You want a ride home, man?

769
00:32:16,135 --> 00:32:18,237
Yeah, actually, I do--

770
00:32:18,304 --> 00:32:20,973
unless someone needs help
with a gi-normous tree

771
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:22,341
strapped to her car.

772
00:32:22,408 --> 00:32:23,809
So that's it?

773
00:32:23,875 --> 00:32:25,211
You guys are just
gonna give up?

774
00:32:25,277 --> 00:32:26,545
Give up on Chrismukkah

775
00:32:26,612 --> 00:32:28,747
when everyone
we know needs it the most?

776
00:32:28,814 --> 00:32:29,948
Okay, thank you, Tiny Tim.

777
00:32:30,016 --> 00:32:31,883
Ow!

778
00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:33,452
Okay, well, what do you
want to do, Summ?

779
00:32:33,519 --> 00:32:35,021
'Cause we can't
go back to the Cohens'.

780
00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:36,955
And Lindsay'll never
talk to me again.

781
00:32:37,023 --> 00:32:38,324
And I can no longer walk.

782
00:32:38,390 --> 00:32:39,925
Well, you guys can all give up,

783
00:32:39,992 --> 00:32:43,129
but I still believe
in a Chrismukkah miracle.

784
00:32:48,034 --> 00:32:50,136
And I have a plan.

785
00:32:54,673 --> 00:32:57,576
I've been looking for you
all over the house.

786
00:32:57,643 --> 00:33:00,346
I wanted to see if
Marissa was back yet.

787
00:33:00,412 --> 00:33:01,647
She's not.

788
00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:04,416
You can bet
she will make this about her

789
00:33:04,483 --> 00:33:06,985
and that we will suffer
the consequences

790
00:33:07,053 --> 00:33:08,587
for a very long time.

791
00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:09,721
I know.

792
00:33:09,788 --> 00:33:11,557
It's tough on everyone,

793
00:33:11,623 --> 00:33:15,327
which is why I tried
to keep it a secret.

794
00:33:15,394 --> 00:33:16,862
You and your secrets, Cal.

795
00:33:16,928 --> 00:33:20,466
You need a walk-in closet
for all of your skeletons.

796
00:33:20,532 --> 00:33:23,869
I promise you...
this is the end.

797
00:33:23,935 --> 00:33:25,204
Yeah?

798
00:33:25,271 --> 00:33:26,672
You don't have an evil twin?

799
00:33:26,738 --> 00:33:28,307
You're not really an alien?

800
00:33:30,176 --> 00:33:32,578
And now that the truth
is out there...

801
00:33:32,644 --> 00:33:33,812
the case will go away.

802
00:33:33,879 --> 00:33:35,514
I'll be free.

803
00:33:35,581 --> 00:33:39,518
I just can't believe
you cheated on your wife.

804
00:33:39,585 --> 00:33:44,090
It was hell, and it never
happened again, never will.

805
00:33:44,156 --> 00:33:46,892
I have everything I need
from this marriage.

806
00:33:46,958 --> 00:33:48,560
I hope you feel the same.

807
00:33:48,627 --> 00:33:50,829
Don't put this
back on me, Cal.

808
00:33:50,896 --> 00:33:51,863
I wasn't.

809
00:33:51,930 --> 00:33:54,700
I was merely saying...

810
00:33:57,069 --> 00:33:58,770
( sighs )

811
00:33:58,837 --> 00:34:00,139
Uh...

812
00:34:00,206 --> 00:34:03,675
I don't know
what I'm saying anymore.

813
00:34:05,677 --> 00:34:06,645
I'm tired of lying.

814
00:34:06,712 --> 00:34:08,680
I want this whole thing
to be over,

815
00:34:08,747 --> 00:34:11,016
and I... I need you
to forgive me.

816
00:34:11,083 --> 00:34:13,051
I'm going to go try
and find Marissa.

817
00:34:13,119 --> 00:34:14,620
Does that mean you forgive me?

818
00:34:14,686 --> 00:34:16,122
I don't know.

819
00:34:22,661 --> 00:34:23,762
Hi.

820
00:34:23,829 --> 00:34:25,164
Hey.

821
00:34:25,231 --> 00:34:26,765
You went and saw Lindsay?

822
00:34:26,832 --> 00:34:27,966
Tried.

823
00:34:28,033 --> 00:34:29,768
Oh, poor girl.

824
00:34:29,835 --> 00:34:31,203
How goes it here?

825
00:34:31,270 --> 00:34:34,005
Fantastic. Kirsten's locked
herself in her closet.

826
00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:36,542
And other than requesting
a PowerBar be slid

827
00:34:36,608 --> 00:34:38,577
under the door,
she isn't speaking to me.

828
00:34:38,644 --> 00:34:42,114
But on the plus side, there's
plenty of mu shu available.

829
00:34:43,549 --> 00:34:45,117
I'm sorry.

830
00:34:45,184 --> 00:34:48,754
Uh, I just, I want you to know
I'm sorry I didn't un-invite...

831
00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:52,124
Oh, kid, this is so far
from being your fault.

832
00:34:52,191 --> 00:34:53,592
Well, you don't
think it's yours.

833
00:34:53,659 --> 00:34:55,627
No, but no good deed
goes unpunished,

834
00:34:55,694 --> 00:34:59,298
which explains why my wife is
holed up next to a shoe rack.

835
00:35:00,832 --> 00:35:02,100
( sighs )

836
00:35:02,168 --> 00:35:04,136
Hey, you mind if
Italk to her?

837
00:35:04,203 --> 00:35:06,472
It's your life.

838
00:35:11,076 --> 00:35:13,479
KIRSTEN:
Go away.

839
00:35:13,545 --> 00:35:15,647
It's Ryan.

840
00:35:17,716 --> 00:35:21,420
I don't really feel
like talking to
anyone right now.

841
00:35:21,487 --> 00:35:23,655
Uh...

842
00:35:23,722 --> 00:35:25,657
I know, I...

843
00:35:25,724 --> 00:35:28,760
was hoping we could
talk about Lindsay.

844
00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:34,800
Is she okay?

845
00:35:34,866 --> 00:35:36,435
No.

846
00:35:36,502 --> 00:35:40,839
Well, not right now,
but I guess it depends.

847
00:35:42,941 --> 00:35:46,612
Depends on what?

848
00:35:46,678 --> 00:35:50,015
On whether or not she
figures out she's...

849
00:35:50,081 --> 00:35:52,784
part of a family
that's pretty good

850
00:35:52,851 --> 00:35:55,287
at letting in new members.

851
00:36:10,269 --> 00:36:12,070
Good line.

852
00:36:12,137 --> 00:36:13,639
Thanks.

853
00:36:13,705 --> 00:36:17,376
Just don't tell Sandy that
I came out for you, okay?

854
00:36:17,443 --> 00:36:20,512
Yeah, 'cause he wouldn't want
to hear that.

855
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:24,082
( sighs )

856
00:36:24,149 --> 00:36:26,852
You want to meet your sister?

857
00:36:26,918 --> 00:36:28,920
( sighs )

858
00:36:28,987 --> 00:36:33,759
I don't know if I'm ready to
start referring to her as that.

859
00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:37,896
( sobbing ):
But Lindsay seems like

860
00:36:37,963 --> 00:36:38,930
a really great girl.

861
00:36:40,266 --> 00:36:41,900
She is.

862
00:36:46,104 --> 00:36:49,007
Whoa. Coop, I cannot believe
your dad lives on a boat.

863
00:36:49,074 --> 00:36:50,075
That is so Miami Vice.

864
00:36:50,141 --> 00:36:51,643
You've seen Miami Vice?

865
00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:54,346
Repeats. My stepmom,
she finds the pastel
colors soothing.

866
00:36:54,413 --> 00:36:56,648
Hmm. She's on some
interesting drugs these days.

867
00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:59,084
Hmm. Which I will be
keeping away from you.

868
00:36:59,150 --> 00:37:00,319
Hmm.

869
00:37:02,053 --> 00:37:03,955
Dad!

870
00:37:04,022 --> 00:37:05,891
Dad?

871
00:37:05,957 --> 00:37:06,958
Hi, girls.

872
00:37:07,025 --> 00:37:08,059
Hey.
Hey.

873
00:37:08,126 --> 00:37:09,295
How are you?
!
We're okay.

874
00:37:09,361 --> 00:37:10,462
We're just kind
of in a rush,

875
00:37:10,529 --> 00:37:11,830
and we were wondering:

876
00:37:11,897 --> 00:37:13,699
do you have a generator
and an extension cord?

877
00:37:13,765 --> 00:37:16,368
Okay, I don't really like
the sound of that.

878
00:37:16,435 --> 00:37:18,370
Oh, it's really
important, Mr. Cooper.

879
00:37:18,437 --> 00:37:20,205
A Chrismukkah miracle
hangs in the balance.

880
00:37:20,272 --> 00:37:21,239
Mm-hmm. We'll explain later.

881
00:37:21,307 --> 00:37:22,608
Well, luckily,

882
00:37:22,674 --> 00:37:26,077
living on a boat requires one
to have such stuff.

883
00:37:26,144 --> 00:37:28,414
It's right around
the corner.

884
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,416
Oh, got it.

885
00:37:30,482 --> 00:37:33,385
Now... have you,
have you spoken to your mom?

886
00:37:33,452 --> 00:37:34,653
She's worried sick
about you.

887
00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:36,422
Oh, really?
That's too bad.

888
00:37:37,789 --> 00:37:39,758
You've been talking to her
a lot lately.

889
00:37:39,825 --> 00:37:42,661
You're not, like,
becoming friends, or anything.

890
00:37:42,728 --> 00:37:46,097
Why? Would that, uh,
would that be so terrible?

891
00:37:46,164 --> 00:37:47,132
Yeah, for you.

892
00:37:47,198 --> 00:37:48,133
SUMMER:
All right.

893
00:37:48,199 --> 00:37:49,167
Got it, Coop. Let's go.

894
00:37:49,234 --> 00:37:50,936
Love you, Dad.

895
00:37:51,002 --> 00:37:52,938
Thanks, Mr. Coop.

896
00:37:56,375 --> 00:37:57,776
Here, can you
take something?

897
00:37:57,843 --> 00:37:59,411
This is going to be
excellent, Summer.

898
00:37:59,478 --> 00:38:00,679
I'm so excited.
Take it. Take it.

899
00:38:00,746 --> 00:38:01,880
Oh, take something?
Yeah.

900
00:38:01,947 --> 00:38:04,049
( sighs )

901
00:38:05,884 --> 00:38:07,886
They're gone.

902
00:38:09,921 --> 00:38:11,557
( sighs ):
I don't suppose you heard

903
00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:12,758
any of that, did you?

904
00:38:12,824 --> 00:38:13,759
Please.

905
00:38:13,825 --> 00:38:15,494
It's almost a compliment
from her.

906
00:38:15,561 --> 00:38:19,130
What are we doing, Julie?

907
00:38:19,197 --> 00:38:21,433
Are we...

908
00:38:21,500 --> 00:38:24,002
are we making
a huge mistake?

909
00:38:24,069 --> 00:38:27,706
Yeah.

910
00:38:31,410 --> 00:38:33,779
But I want to be with you.

911
00:38:39,518 --> 00:38:42,320
( waves crashing )

912
00:38:46,658 --> 00:38:47,493
Hey.

913
00:38:47,559 --> 00:38:50,862
What are you doing here?

914
00:38:50,929 --> 00:38:52,898
Uh, your mom said I
could maybe find you here.

915
00:38:52,964 --> 00:38:55,967
She also said you're
not in the mood to
see any friends.

916
00:38:56,034 --> 00:38:57,002
I'm not.

917
00:38:57,068 --> 00:38:58,504
Okay. I get that.

918
00:38:58,570 --> 00:39:00,939
But here's the
thing, Lindsay.

919
00:39:01,006 --> 00:39:02,374
You and I, we're kin.

920
00:39:02,441 --> 00:39:03,909
No. No, we're not.

921
00:39:03,975 --> 00:39:04,843
Yeah. Yeah, we are.

922
00:39:04,910 --> 00:39:06,478
Congratulations,
you're a Cohen.

923
00:39:06,545 --> 00:39:08,113
( sighs )

924
00:39:08,179 --> 00:39:12,083
Welcome to a life of insecurity
and paralyzing self doubt.

925
00:39:12,150 --> 00:39:15,186
It's a little soon to joke.

926
00:39:15,253 --> 00:39:16,822
Not for us Cohens.

927
00:39:16,888 --> 00:39:19,891
It's what we do:
laugh through our tears,

928
00:39:19,958 --> 00:39:23,161
make jokes inappropriately
soon after a traumatic event.

929
00:39:23,228 --> 00:39:27,198
Sometimes we'll just make the
joke during the traumatic event.

930
00:39:27,265 --> 00:39:29,501
Yeah, "traumatic," Seth,

931
00:39:29,568 --> 00:39:32,438
doesn't even begin
to describe this.

932
00:39:34,172 --> 00:39:39,277
Look... I get that
what happened seems
really overwhelming.

933
00:39:39,344 --> 00:39:40,311
Oh, do you?

934
00:39:40,378 --> 00:39:41,847
Yeah, I do.

935
00:39:41,913 --> 00:39:44,349
But I think you and I have
a lot to be grateful for.

936
00:39:44,416 --> 00:39:46,785
Most of all that we
didn't start dating.

937
00:39:46,852 --> 00:39:52,357
Oh, yeah, 'cause that
would have been gross
on... several levels.

938
00:39:52,424 --> 00:39:53,559
Hey. There you go.

939
00:39:53,625 --> 00:39:54,893
That's what I'm
talking about.

940
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:56,928
You are a Cohen, okay?
And I like that.

941
00:39:56,995 --> 00:39:58,830
You know what that
means, by the way?

942
00:39:58,897 --> 00:40:00,799
It means you get
one of these.

943
00:40:03,001 --> 00:40:04,836
Enjoy.

944
00:40:06,204 --> 00:40:08,474
Um...

945
00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:09,875
it says "Laura."

946
00:40:09,941 --> 00:40:13,111
It's the only one
they had at the store.

947
00:40:13,178 --> 00:40:14,312
We'll fix it later.

948
00:40:14,379 --> 00:40:15,947
( giggles )

949
00:40:16,014 --> 00:40:19,284
So, when did you come up with
this holiday, exactly?

950
00:40:19,350 --> 00:40:20,986
Oh, no, I didn't,
actually.

951
00:40:21,052 --> 00:40:23,421
Jesus and Moses, they put
it together over lunch

952
00:40:23,489 --> 00:40:25,924
a few years back now,
I think it was.

953
00:40:25,991 --> 00:40:28,393
What does Moses have to do
with Hanukkah?

954
00:40:28,460 --> 00:40:31,763
Wait, no, I think,
actually, you're
missing the point

955
00:40:31,830 --> 00:40:33,331
of the holiday
completely.

956
00:40:33,398 --> 00:40:36,001
Which is...?

957
00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:01,893
Hi.

958
00:41:03,094 --> 00:41:04,663
I'm Kirsten.

959
00:41:04,730 --> 00:41:07,499
Hi.

960
00:41:09,501 --> 00:41:11,202
( sobs )

961
00:41:11,269 --> 00:41:12,538
Welcome.

962
00:41:17,042 --> 00:41:19,210
( voice breaking ):
This is really weird.

963
00:41:19,277 --> 00:41:22,113
Oh, it's our family.

964
00:41:22,180 --> 00:41:25,050
( chuckles )

965
00:41:26,718 --> 00:41:28,186
Thank you for doing this.

966
00:41:28,253 --> 00:41:30,622
Oh, thanks
for coming forward.

967
00:41:30,689 --> 00:41:32,891
You did the right thing.

968
00:41:32,958 --> 00:41:34,059
Yeah?

969
00:41:34,125 --> 00:41:35,794
Mm-hmm.

970
00:41:35,861 --> 00:41:39,497
And maybe someday
Lindsay will forgive me.

971
00:41:46,371 --> 00:41:49,575
( sighs ):
So, Summer Roberts,
you saved Chrismukkah.

972
00:41:49,641 --> 00:41:51,042
Kind of did, didn't I?

973
00:41:51,109 --> 00:41:52,310
I hope I can repay you.

974
00:41:52,377 --> 00:41:54,846
Well, you can start by carrying
my tree to my car later.

975
00:41:54,913 --> 00:41:56,481
Hmm?
( door opens )

976
00:41:56,548 --> 00:41:58,249
Hey, guys.

977
00:41:58,316 --> 00:41:59,284
Hey.

978
00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:00,719
Eggnog, latkes.

979
00:42:00,786 --> 00:42:03,288
SETH:
None for Summer--
gives her gas.

980
00:42:05,757 --> 00:42:08,994
I figured you hadn't had
a Christmas tree for a while.

981
00:42:09,060 --> 00:42:12,130
I don't even know what to say.

982
00:42:12,197 --> 00:42:15,000
You don't have to say anything
right now.

983
00:42:16,635 --> 00:42:18,003
Hey. I've got latkes.

984
00:42:18,069 --> 00:42:22,240
Oh, uh... that sounds
kind of disgusting.

985
00:42:22,307 --> 00:42:23,241
Yeah, I know.

986
00:42:23,308 --> 00:42:24,743
Can we order pizza?

987
00:42:24,810 --> 00:42:27,779
All right. Who's ready
to hear the Chrismukkah hymn?

988
00:42:27,846 --> 00:42:30,215
It's penned to Death Cab's
"A Lack of Color."

989
00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:31,617
MARISSA:
What is that?

990
00:42:31,683 --> 00:42:33,251
What? No one knows
what that song is, Cohen.

991
00:42:33,318 --> 00:42:35,220
Seth carrying a tune?
Now, that would be

992
00:42:35,286 --> 00:42:37,455
a Chrismukkah miracle.
Merry Chrismukkah.

993
00:42:37,522 --> 00:42:39,390
I'll tell you what else
you can carry--

994
00:42:39,457 --> 00:42:40,992
that negativity
out on the street.

995
00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:42,127
Miracles?
Chrismukkah fact...

996
00:42:42,193 --> 00:42:43,895
All right, first...
Have an eggnog.

997
00:42:43,962 --> 00:42:45,130
Who ma...?
These are so shoddy.

998
00:42:45,196 --> 00:42:46,431
We'll have to work
on the...

999
00:42:46,497 --> 00:42:47,933
Hey, hey,
hey, hey!

1000
00:42:47,999 --> 00:42:49,500
Come on, come on.
Sing, sing,
sing, sing.

1001
00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:50,702
All right.
All right.

1002
00:42:50,769 --> 00:42:51,937
( snaps fingers )

1003
00:42:52,003 --> 00:42:53,805
* Moses and Jesus... *

1004
00:42:53,872 --> 00:42:54,806
Yeah!

1005
00:42:54,873 --> 00:42:55,874
* They both
have beards... *

1006
00:42:55,941 --> 00:42:57,308
Yeah!
Oh, my God.