1 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,570 Oh! 2 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,876 Ow! 3 00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:52,044 Help! Help! 4 00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,346 Am I dead? 5 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:56,014 You're not dead. 6 00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:58,455 You've been taken against your will. 7 00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:00,425 Kobe? Who is that? 8 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:08,066 Dr. Phil? What the hell's going on? 9 00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:11,831 I don't know. I was doing a show on teens with abandonment issues... 10 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,634 and suddenly, I woke up here. 11 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,801 Man, those kids are gonna be pissed. 12 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:19,736 Hello, gentlemen. 13 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:22,373 You don't know me, but I know you. 14 00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:25,680 You both play games with other people for a living... 15 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:28,653 but, today, you play a game for your lives. 16 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:32,590 Right now, you are both breathing in a deadly nerve gas. 17 00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:35,628 You have 120 seconds to reach the antidote... 18 00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:36,992 or you die. 19 00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:39,088 Oh, my God! We better get out of here! 20 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:41,258 Let the game begin. 21 00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:44,267 There! 22 00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:54,012 Hit the metal arm with something. 23 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,672 There. 24 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,918 Damn it! 25 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:10,523 Sorry. 26 00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:13,930 Shaquille, I'm not angry at you... 27 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,833 but we are one minute away from death. 28 00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:19,303 Just shut out the "No" voice. 29 00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:21,806 Own your success. 30 00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:26,639 Oh! 31 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:31,380 Just make the damn basket! 32 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,781 What the hell was that for? 33 00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:37,550 You hurt my feelings. 34 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:40,684 Your feelings? To hell with your feelings! 35 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,887 Everybody with their feelings! 36 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:45,989 "I'm obese." "My kid's a brat." "Help me. Help me." 37 00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,328 Just shut up! 38 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,391 Why can't I fix anyone? 39 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:53,929 I'm so dumb and worthless! Mama was right! Mama was right! 40 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:57,704 Hey, hey! Pull yourself together. You're a brilliant doctor. 41 00:02:57,777 --> 00:02:59,802 Not exactly. 42 00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:04,009 - What? - I-I just tell people to "get real." 43 00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:06,518 I'm not even a psychologist. 44 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,315 I'm... an electrician. 45 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:12,822 I failed you, Shaq. I failed you. 46 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,692 - Booyah! - Yes! 47 00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:27,664 30 seconds left! 48 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,945 This will never work. 49 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:36,073 Of course- he wants us to cut through our feet. 50 00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,184 You go first. 51 00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:41,550 Bullshit. 52 00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:43,555 Yeah. 53 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,614 You're probably not man enough. 54 00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,387 I guess your mama was right. 55 00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:51,187 Never! 56 00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:54,597 Who's the coward now, Mama? 57 00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:56,601 Candy from a baby. 58 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:03,798 - Oh, my God! - I did it. We're saved. 59 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,437 - What's wrong? - Wrong foot. 60 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,244 Motherfu- 61 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,561 No one believed 62 00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:29,363 in the early years of the 21st century 63 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,461 that our world was being watched... 64 00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:35,440 the way a man with a microscope might scrutinize the creatures 65 00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:37,271 in a drop of water. 66 00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,923 Yet across the gulf of space 67 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,561 a terrible evil prepared to unleash itself 68 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:08,539 upon an unsuspecting human race. 69 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:23,889 You're up early. Come back to bed. 70 00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:27,557 Come on. 71 00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:30,890 Please. 72 00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:54,376 Hello? Hello? 73 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,189 Tom! Oh! 74 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:03,927 I know you missed me. Oh, I missed you too. God, you look great. 75 00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:06,488 I wanted to come by to thank you for setting up that job interview for me. 76 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:10,093 This isn't a good time. 77 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,730 I just need something to keep me busy now that Cody's out of the house. 78 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:14,773 He just turned 11. 79 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,570 I enrolled him in military school last year. 80 00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,907 It's supposed to be a great program. 81 00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:22,038 Boy, kids, you know, they just grow up so fast. 82 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,583 So I heard that you were dating again. 83 00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:26,881 Knowing you, I bet she's brainy. 84 00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,443 "Quixotic." 85 00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:30,148 90 points! 86 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,864 Oh, you know, your work with the elderly really inspired me, Tom. 87 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:50,569 I mean, they have so much to teach us... 88 00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:52,770 and we have so much to teach them. 89 00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:55,780 You know, ultimately, they... really are just like us... 90 00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:58,408 only... older. 91 00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:01,976 Anyway, I'm hoping that a new career will help 92 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:05,582 keep my mind off of... bad memories. 93 00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:09,822 I'm sure you have memories, too. He's the kind of person you never forget. 94 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,921 Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night 95 00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:14,728 wondering where he is, and then I remember. 96 00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:19,261 I know you miss him, too, but it's really been hardest on me. 97 00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,307 I'm rattling on, but if you don't vent your emotions... 98 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:25,037 they just well up inside of you and burst out. 99 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,841 The harder you try, the harder it all gets... 100 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:30,212 till you just can't shake it off anymore. 101 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,272 Oh! 102 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,343 Like you're carrying around this enormous burden. 103 00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,445 Sometimes your problems get so big. 104 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,827 - And then what do you say to yourself? - Jesus! 105 00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:45,295 Yes, you can turn to religion or family and friends... 106 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,959 but in the end, you're still in agony. 107 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:50,525 Maybe that's why I want to become a nurse. 108 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:54,505 I'm just- I'm so in tune with everyone's emotions. 109 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:57,304 I guess I've always had a knack for being- 110 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,975 Oh, my- 111 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:29,705 Ryan, go home. You've been working 16 straight hours. 112 00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:32,040 Come on, I need the overtime. 113 00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:34,011 Don't worry. Okay? 114 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,548 I'm wide- 115 00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:43,088 Ryan! What are you doing? 116 00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:46,957 That was gold bullion- 117 00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,086 No, not the monkeys! 118 00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:58,870 They're loose! 119 00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:05,474 Damn it, Tom! What the hell happened back there? 120 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,638 Aw, come on, Ed. That could've happened to anyone. 121 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,308 Oh, yeah? You know what your problem is? 122 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,443 As soon as the going gets tough, you give up. 123 00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:15,885 You're right. I quit. 124 00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:17,616 Ah, you don't get it, do you? 125 00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:20,659 You could be the best, if only you'd see things through. 126 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,218 - I don't know. - Give me a break. 127 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,424 What can I tell you, Ed? I guess I'm no good. 128 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,228 Maybe I just don't have what it takes. 129 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:32,203 What are you talking about? You secured that tricky H-500 unit, didn't you? 130 00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:34,068 Aw, come on. That was easy. 131 00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,782 Tom Ryan. I haven't seen you in a while. 132 00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:49,049 Well, I spend every waking minute of my life operating a crane. 133 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,113 God, I hate my job. 134 00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:57,887 Yo, Tom! Where you been? 135 00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,454 Mahalik. 136 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,363 Yo, C.J., this is my boy Tom Ryan. 137 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,595 We used to work together down at the docks. 138 00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:04,829 Ya-hi! Ya-hi! Ya-hi! 139 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:07,566 - Hey, Tom. How's the family, man? - You remember Marilyn? 140 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,165 - Your lovely wife- how could I forget? - She dumped me. 141 00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:13,178 Yeah, I know. I slept with her a few times. 142 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,679 - What? - Me too. 143 00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:17,773 You guys talking about Marilyn? Great lay. 144 00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:20,114 My pops introduced me to her. 145 00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,211 Ever since the divorce, it's like my life has no purpose. 146 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,085 Half the time I walk around feeling like a zombie. 147 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:26,523 Yo, don't joke about zombies. That shit there- that's real. 148 00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:29,026 Yo, you know Nashawn, down on 120th Street? 149 00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:30,084 Yeah. 150 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,927 She told me that she heard a zombie going through her trash the other day. 151 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,830 The next morning, she turned up missing. 152 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:37,028 - Uh- - What? Okay, back up. 153 00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:39,037 How in the hell do you "turn up missing"? 154 00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,801 'Cause nobody knows where you are when they realize you ain't there! 155 00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:43,136 Guys, I'm trying to ask- 156 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:46,303 So you telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time. 157 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,904 No, man. You can't appear and disappear at the same time. 158 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,006 - The bitch ain't David Copperfield! - Uh, guys- 159 00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:52,482 Mmm. No, no. 160 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,986 But you can't be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. 161 00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:57,045 So when you turn up, you're never missing. 162 00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:59,489 And when you're missing, you never turn up. 163 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,187 Unless... you a zombie. 164 00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:03,694 Damn! 165 00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:06,698 Hey, that's some plausible shit right there. You should blog about that. 166 00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:09,667 - I'm gonna put that on MySpace. - You do that! 167 00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:11,396 Hey, Tom. 168 00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:14,497 You know what you need to do, man? You need to get away from all this. 169 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:17,475 - You need to take a break. - Oh, I don't know. 170 00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:21,035 No, no. He's right, man. You should come fishing with us one weekend. 171 00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:24,082 Me and Mahalik, we found this great spot last summer. 172 00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:26,482 Yeah. A great spot. 173 00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:36,091 Hey. You cold? 174 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,060 - L-Little bit. - Hmm. 175 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:50,238 Hey. Look, man, um- 176 00:11:50,309 --> 00:11:52,174 I'm not on the down-low or nothing, all right? 177 00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,681 Oh, that's cool, man. Me, neither. 178 00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,249 - Hey, what you doing? - Relax, man. 179 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,754 I'm just trying to grab some nuts. 180 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:13,554 C.J., what are you doin'? 181 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:16,261 - I just wanna eat some peanuts. - Huh? 182 00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:19,668 See? Peanuts. 183 00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:19,191 Ooh, baby. 184 00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:35,038 Yeah... we caught a lot of fish. 185 00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:36,604 Yeah. 186 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:40,115 Black cod. 187 00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,279 Damn. 188 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:45,256 Tom, you don't- I don't want you thinking that- 189 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,155 Hopefully, this doesn't affect your opin- 190 00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:49,524 Why would you do that, and that's my first time meeting him? 191 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:04,072 Late again, Tom. 192 00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:07,340 - Hey, Marilyn. - I thought you were moving. 193 00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:11,315 It's all I can afford right now. You took everything in the divorce except my name. 194 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,648 No, actually, the judge granted me that yesterday. 195 00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:16,017 You're now officially known as "Horace P. MacTitties." 196 00:14:17,256 --> 00:14:20,157 I'm sure your new husband is pleased. 197 00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,888 He's a good man. A provider, unlike you. 198 00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,793 You never cared about our children. 199 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,355 Hey, that's not true. I'm a great dad. 200 00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,901 Kids! 201 00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:30,993 Dad? 202 00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,008 - Hi, Dad. - Hey, Rachel. 203 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:41,842 How's it going there, uh... Princess? 204 00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:44,713 It's locked. 205 00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:49,477 Hey! Let me help you with that, muffin. 206 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,045 - I should do that. - It's no problem. 207 00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:53,114 - I honestly don't mind. - Neither do I. 208 00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:55,057 Fine. You take it. 209 00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:57,527 I'll see you on Tuesday. 210 00:14:57,596 --> 00:14:58,927 Hey, Marilyn. 211 00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:02,229 That's a good look for you, being pregnant. 212 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,900 I'm not pregnant! 213 00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:08,963 I didn't meant to- I'm sorry. 214 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:11,908 If you want to make things right, maybe you should start with our kids. 215 00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:14,912 You're right. Those kids are all I have in this world. 216 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:17,642 Well, the kids... and my car. 217 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:20,379 Ow! 218 00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:27,049 Mr. Koji, looks like we need someone new for the Norris account. 219 00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:28,616 Again? 220 00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:31,754 Every day we don't have someone looking after this woman, I lose big money. 221 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:35,289 - What happened to last girl? - Yoko. Take a look. 222 00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:37,801 Holy shit! 223 00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,464 Someone put a towel under her or something. Christ! 224 00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:44,441 It's the Norris house, Mr. Koji. They say it's cursed. 225 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,501 There no such thing as a curse. 226 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,240 Don't be ridiculous. 227 00:15:48,314 --> 00:15:50,680 Those just old wives' tales. 228 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:54,413 I need someone there today or I'm in big trouble. 229 00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,414 Hello. I'm Cindy Campbell. 230 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,756 I'm looking for a job in home health care. 231 00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:05,686 I was recommended by a family friend, but unfortunately, he committed- 232 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,529 Oh, my God! 233 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,660 Don't mind her. She slip and fall. 234 00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:14,035 You my new best employee. Ready start today? 235 00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:16,040 Oh, it's so fast. I don't know. 236 00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:18,372 Oh, trust me. Uh, you're gonna love this job. 237 00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:20,878 Come on, I show you. We can be there 10 minutes. 238 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:35,059 Come! Come! 239 00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:48,400 Mr. Koji? 240 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,507 Hello? 241 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,854 Oh, my God! Oh! 242 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,256 Okay, oh. 243 00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:09,692 - Oh, let's get you up and- - Oh! 244 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:12,356 Okay, come on. Here we go. 245 00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:15,059 - Oh, I'm sorry. - There you are. 246 00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:16,931 I see you've met Mrs. Norris- she catatonic. 247 00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:19,470 Yes, I was just trying to get her back up on the bed. 248 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,597 I was afraid that she would be hurt. 249 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,869 You know, when I came in, I just saw her lying here on the floor. 250 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,673 Of course, of course. I help. You grab her legs, I grab her arms. 251 00:17:26,745 --> 00:17:29,043 Mrs. Norris, I'm here to take care of you. 252 00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:32,943 Yes, I'm very happy to meet you, too. 253 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:38,021 See? This job perfect for you. Let me show you rest of house. 254 00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:40,183 Right this way. 255 00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:42,227 So, what do you think? 256 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:48,199 I don't know. There's something strange about this house. 257 00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:51,031 - A presence. - A presence? Don't be silly. 258 00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:52,866 - Nothing wrong with this house. - It's funny. 259 00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:56,374 I always dreamt I would live in a house like this with my husband... 260 00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:59,570 but I guess that's all just in the... 261 00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:01,904 past. 262 00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:04,074 Who wants to see upstairs? 263 00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:08,415 It's a nice neighborhood close to schools and shopping. 264 00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:11,923 There are hardwood floors throughout. Passed almost every inspection. 265 00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:15,552 Big backyard goes back 100 feet. 266 00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:23,101 And in here is the bathroom. 267 00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:24,795 Very big, very... 268 00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:28,633 nice. 269 00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:30,265 It is nice. 270 00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:32,572 It seems like it'd be a great place to work... 271 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:35,443 but I just can't shake this feeling of... evil. 272 00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:37,482 Evil? That crazy talk. 273 00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,781 Do you know anything about the people who used to live here? 274 00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:48,486 People? No, nothing about people. I don't remember anything. 275 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,996 Mr. Koji, did something strange happen in this house? 276 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:53,656 Strange? Don't be silly. 277 00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:55,632 This house perfectly normal. 278 00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:59,467 I'm sure you're right, and yet... it's as if someone's watching us. 279 00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:04,499 Mr. Koji? 280 00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:07,943 That was me... just excited about hiring you. 281 00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:10,948 Very, very enthusiastic! 282 00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:16,716 We offer medical and dental and two weeks' paid vacation! 283 00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:20,316 I'm hoping... you can start today! 284 00:19:20,392 --> 00:19:22,451 Maybe get in a whole week! 285 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:24,223 You put in for this job... 286 00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:26,491 we got wonderful opportunities for you. 287 00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:30,023 Mr. Koji, is there something you're not telling me about this? 288 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:38,670 I was... dirty. 289 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:43,813 So... the job? 290 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,509 I'll take it. 291 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,589 Get your glove! I'm in the backyard! 292 00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:56,594 Robbie, come on. Let's go! 293 00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:59,495 That's not how you're going to get through to him. 294 00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:01,760 Look, Rach, this is guy stuff. 295 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:05,031 You got to trust me. 296 00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:08,039 All right, Robbie, you ready for the Tom Ryan Express? 297 00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:21,886 Yeah, maybe, one day, I can grow up to be just like you. 298 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:25,014 All right, I know I let you kids down... 299 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:27,786 but you have no idea how hard it is to be a father. 300 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:31,455 Well, when you start, let me know. 301 00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,568 You okay? 302 00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:44,233 My eyes! My eyes! 303 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:52,044 Oh, much... better. 304 00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:55,245 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, that's okay. 305 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,447 I've taken balls to the face before. 306 00:20:57,523 --> 00:21:00,321 Hi. I'm Cindy Campbell, your new neighbor. 307 00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:02,360 Tom, Tom Ryan. 308 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,896 You, uh, live here all by yourself? 309 00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:06,954 Well, I'm-I'm taking care of Mrs. Norris... 310 00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:10,763 but... yes, for the first time in my life, I'm on my own. 311 00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:12,269 I know that feeling. 312 00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:16,637 - It wasn't always that way. - I know. 313 00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:18,835 You thought you'd found your soul mate. 314 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,845 Yes. 315 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:22,904 And then one day you come home... 316 00:21:22,981 --> 00:21:26,280 and find your so-called soul mate in bed with a complete stranger. 317 00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:29,616 Well, not a complete stranger- Sammy Sosa. 318 00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:32,950 Sound familiar? 319 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,152 No, not at all. 320 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,396 But I do know what it's like to be in that much pain... 321 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:42,298 and the worst part is you have to suffer through it- 322 00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:44,767 - Alone? - It looks like we have a lot in- 323 00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:47,305 Common. 324 00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:50,068 - We're already finishing each other's- - Dinner. 325 00:21:51,410 --> 00:21:53,571 Sentences. 326 00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:58,773 Well... maybe all we really need is a friend. 327 00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:01,411 I'd like that. 328 00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:03,751 Well, I better get back to Mrs. Norris. 329 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:06,290 It's time to put her catheter in, and then after that... 330 00:22:06,358 --> 00:22:08,349 I've got to scrub in between her fat folds... 331 00:22:08,427 --> 00:22:10,554 and I've got to lance her boils. 332 00:22:10,629 --> 00:22:12,392 I've got to open her up and then- 333 00:22:43,128 --> 00:22:45,392 ...empty the colostomy bag and... 334 00:22:45,464 --> 00:22:47,659 Mop up the drool. 335 00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:49,598 That's wonderful. 336 00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:52,330 - I'll see you around? - Definitely. 337 00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:54,497 Okay. 338 00:22:56,074 --> 00:22:58,565 Okay, Mrs. Norris, time to dig out that doody bubble. 339 00:24:03,642 --> 00:24:06,736 Whoa... Oh! Ow! 340 00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:24,686 Mrs. Norris? 341 00:24:24,763 --> 00:24:27,323 Have you noticed anything strange about this house? 342 00:24:27,399 --> 00:24:30,334 - Yes! Yes! - No? 343 00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:31,369 Yes! 344 00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:34,234 Oh, you're probably right. Guess I'm just being silly. 345 00:24:36,441 --> 00:24:38,272 Just relax now. 346 00:24:38,343 --> 00:24:41,073 Here we go. Okay. 347 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:44,377 Oh, you poor thing. You don't have to be scared. 348 00:24:44,449 --> 00:24:47,543 I'm here to take care of you. 349 00:24:47,619 --> 00:24:50,986 You know, I think you and I are going to be wonderful friends. 350 00:24:51,056 --> 00:24:54,856 I do. That's right. Just relax. 351 00:24:54,926 --> 00:24:57,326 Let's get in those ears. 352 00:24:57,396 --> 00:25:00,263 Okay. All right. 353 00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:03,961 That's right. Oh, it feels good. 354 00:25:06,138 --> 00:25:08,606 Okay. 355 00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:11,165 You love this, don't you? 356 00:25:11,243 --> 00:25:14,542 It's nice and warm. Feels good, doesn't it? 357 00:25:15,113 --> 00:25:17,775 Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! 358 00:25:17,849 --> 00:25:20,215 I'm so sorry! 359 00:26:39,297 --> 00:26:42,198 Robbie! 360 00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:44,201 Come on! 361 00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,533 Let's toss the old pigskin! 362 00:26:53,779 --> 00:26:55,337 Ooh. 363 00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:58,315 I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. Are you all right? 364 00:26:58,383 --> 00:27:00,977 It's okay. My throat cushioned the blow. 365 00:27:01,052 --> 00:27:04,647 Thank God. I lost my temper. My son's- 366 00:27:04,723 --> 00:27:06,987 What's wrong? You look scared. 367 00:27:07,058 --> 00:27:08,923 Oh, nothing. It's just- 368 00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:11,428 There's something going on in this house. 369 00:27:11,496 --> 00:27:13,760 Last night, I saw a face. 370 00:27:13,832 --> 00:27:16,494 - Did it have a nose? - Yes. 371 00:27:16,568 --> 00:27:18,331 That does sound like a face. 372 00:27:18,403 --> 00:27:21,861 And then there was this weird hand in the shower... 373 00:27:21,940 --> 00:27:24,204 and this horrible thing on the stairs. 374 00:27:24,276 --> 00:27:26,608 I can't go through this all again. 375 00:27:26,678 --> 00:27:29,670 Oh, I get it. There's some other guy. 376 00:27:29,748 --> 00:27:32,911 You still love him, don't you? I wish you both the best. 377 00:27:32,984 --> 00:27:36,010 Wait! You don't understand. 378 00:27:36,087 --> 00:27:39,955 It's painful to talk about, but you deserve to know. 379 00:27:41,827 --> 00:27:44,227 I was married once. 380 00:27:44,296 --> 00:27:48,528 - Get out the way, bitch! - Don't call me no bitch! You ain't shit! 381 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,465 Shut your ass up, snow ho! 382 00:27:52,938 --> 00:27:56,601 Well... actually, married twice. 383 00:27:58,376 --> 00:28:00,435 My husband and I were living our dream. 384 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:04,175 Ladies and gentlemen, your challenger, Cindy Campbell. 385 00:28:06,184 --> 00:28:09,449 Stay loose, Cindy. Remember your training. Keep your focus. 386 00:28:11,623 --> 00:28:14,592 Always think, where's the next punch coming- 387 00:28:14,659 --> 00:28:17,287 After 20 fights, I was undefeated. 388 00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:19,489 Only one fighter stood between me and the belt. 389 00:28:19,564 --> 00:28:21,555 You got this chick. She's nothing. 390 00:28:21,633 --> 00:28:23,362 Tiffany Stone! 391 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,473 Cindy, listen to me. 392 00:28:30,542 --> 00:28:33,238 I know you're scared, but I believe in you. You can win this. 393 00:28:33,311 --> 00:28:36,610 And if I do win, George, then will you tell me what my nickname means? 394 00:28:36,681 --> 00:28:38,615 Yes. I promise. 395 00:28:38,683 --> 00:28:41,413 Okay. Now just stick with the jab and lead with your right. 396 00:28:41,486 --> 00:28:43,511 Watch your footwork. 397 00:28:43,588 --> 00:28:46,113 Let's go! 398 00:28:54,599 --> 00:28:58,296 Whoa, whoa! You do that one more time, I'm taking a point off, you hear me? 399 00:29:00,872 --> 00:29:03,773 I got it, I got it! Dude, check it out! 400 00:29:11,082 --> 00:29:13,778 I can't take it anymore! 401 00:29:24,062 --> 00:29:26,155 And that's when I lost my cool 402 00:29:26,231 --> 00:29:28,529 and made the biggest mistake of my life. 403 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,534 Cindy, no! 404 00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:33,237 Ooh, a nickel! 405 00:29:39,811 --> 00:29:42,803 No! 406 00:30:22,988 --> 00:30:25,388 Get out of the way! 407 00:30:25,457 --> 00:30:27,755 George! 408 00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:31,421 No! 409 00:30:31,496 --> 00:30:34,829 If I hadn't have thrown that punch, none of it would've happened. 410 00:30:34,899 --> 00:30:37,697 - I blame myself for it all. - As well you should. 411 00:30:37,769 --> 00:30:41,705 But, Cindy, the past is the past. 412 00:30:41,773 --> 00:30:44,435 Maybe you ought to think about your future. 413 00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:46,500 If I'm ever going to love again... 414 00:30:46,578 --> 00:30:49,012 it has to be with somebody who'll be there for me. 415 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:52,413 Well, I don't have a great track record in that department. Just ask my son. 416 00:30:52,484 --> 00:30:55,180 I have. What's an "cock monger"? 417 00:30:56,655 --> 00:30:58,748 Uh... that's not really important. 418 00:30:58,823 --> 00:31:01,348 What matters is I've let a lot of people down. 419 00:31:01,426 --> 00:31:03,826 Oh. 420 00:31:03,895 --> 00:31:07,058 - I should go. - Wait! 421 00:31:08,633 --> 00:31:11,659 Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy... 422 00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:16,999 but something about you makes me want to try. 423 00:31:35,527 --> 00:31:37,722 - What's happening? - I don't know! 424 00:31:40,632 --> 00:31:43,123 Why is the sky so dark? 425 00:31:43,201 --> 00:31:45,294 Why is the wind moving towards the storm? 426 00:31:47,105 --> 00:31:49,573 Why don't any of us have driers? 427 00:31:49,641 --> 00:31:53,099 I've never seen clouds like that before! 428 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,854 - You okay? - Yeah. 429 00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:05,856 - Can you believe that thunder? - No. 430 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:08,893 That storm is so fierce. I've never seen anything like it. 431 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,690 - I haven't either. - Imagine being out there. 432 00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:15,130 That last one sounded really close. 433 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:18,328 Don't worry- lightning never strikes in the same place twice. 434 00:32:20,305 --> 00:32:23,103 - Where's Rachel? - I thought she was with you. 435 00:32:27,312 --> 00:32:29,212 Oh, there you are. 436 00:32:37,722 --> 00:32:39,986 Okay. That's it. We're fine. 437 00:32:40,058 --> 00:32:42,583 That last bolt of lightning smelled like a- 438 00:32:42,660 --> 00:32:44,821 Giant turd. 439 00:32:44,896 --> 00:32:48,889 Yes, the... lightning. 440 00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:51,458 I'll go look for Robbie. 441 00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:57,399 Turn it again, see if it'll start. 442 00:32:57,475 --> 00:33:00,603 I don't know what's going on. The car's not working, it's just not working. 443 00:33:00,678 --> 00:33:03,670 Start! 444 00:33:03,748 --> 00:33:06,080 Go! 445 00:33:07,719 --> 00:33:11,155 My bowels have stopped moving! Why? 446 00:33:11,222 --> 00:33:14,316 - How's it going, Marvin? - I just had this car working; now it's dead. 447 00:33:14,392 --> 00:33:16,986 - Try changing the solenoid. - Good idea. 448 00:33:17,061 --> 00:33:19,325 Death to America! 449 00:33:21,132 --> 00:33:23,498 Aw, shit! 450 00:33:43,988 --> 00:33:45,478 Run! 451 00:34:35,106 --> 00:34:38,132 Beautiful outfit! 452 00:34:38,209 --> 00:34:40,200 Thanks. 453 00:34:41,346 --> 00:34:44,247 - Where's your ride, G? - Move it, dawg! 454 00:35:00,365 --> 00:35:03,129 Hello? 455 00:35:04,335 --> 00:35:06,269 "Haro"? 456 00:35:07,538 --> 00:35:09,529 Hibachi. Benihana. Teriyaki. 457 00:35:09,607 --> 00:35:12,804 Nagasaki. Okinawa. Hokkaido. Yokohama. 458 00:35:12,877 --> 00:35:16,813 Karate. Judo. Sumo. Samurai. 459 00:35:16,881 --> 00:35:20,817 Nissan. Honda. Mitsubishi. Subaru. 460 00:35:20,885 --> 00:35:24,719 Hara-kiri. Tsunami. Kamikaze. Banzai. 461 00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:28,919 Yamaha. Nikon. Casio. Aiwa. 462 00:35:30,295 --> 00:35:34,163 Minolta. Hitachi. Seiko. Toshiba. 463 00:35:34,232 --> 00:35:36,723 Buddha! Shitake kimono! 464 00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:41,670 Tempura. Sushi. Sashimi! 465 00:35:41,739 --> 00:35:43,468 Fujitsu! 466 00:35:50,248 --> 00:35:52,614 I can't read that. 467 00:35:52,684 --> 00:35:55,244 That's better. 468 00:36:00,191 --> 00:36:02,091 Let's go, honey! Let's go! Let's go! 469 00:36:03,494 --> 00:36:05,086 Robbie, Dad's home! 470 00:36:09,033 --> 00:36:11,365 What is it? What's going on? 471 00:36:11,436 --> 00:36:13,666 Death. 472 00:36:25,350 --> 00:36:28,376 - Dad, talk to me. What's happening? - There's no time to explain. 473 00:36:28,453 --> 00:36:30,182 Alien attack! 474 00:36:30,254 --> 00:36:33,121 Well, actually, that about sums it up. 475 00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:35,625 Fill this up with food. We're leaving this house in 60 seconds. 476 00:36:37,462 --> 00:36:41,364 My ass! 477 00:36:43,935 --> 00:36:45,800 Penis. 478 00:36:46,637 --> 00:36:47,831 We gotta go. 479 00:36:53,077 --> 00:36:55,238 - Cindy! - Tom! 480 00:36:55,313 --> 00:36:57,213 - Run for it! - Where are you going? 481 00:36:57,281 --> 00:37:01,183 Someone's out there, somebody who knows a way to stop all of this. 482 00:37:01,252 --> 00:37:03,345 - Oh, you wouldn't understand. - I understand. 483 00:37:03,421 --> 00:37:06,913 - Come with me. - Oh, I'd like to, but my kids. 484 00:37:06,991 --> 00:37:09,892 I... guess this is good-bye. 485 00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:13,453 When this is all over, promise me that you'll find me, that you'll never forget me... 486 00:37:13,531 --> 00:37:16,432 that you won't give up until I'm back in your arms. 487 00:37:16,501 --> 00:37:18,833 - Alive? - Yes. 488 00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:20,666 I promise. 489 00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:25,869 Good-bye, Cindy. 490 00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:32,610 Hey, wait! 491 00:37:32,683 --> 00:37:36,414 A solenoid... for luck. 492 00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:49,589 Marvin! You put a solenoid in? 493 00:37:49,667 --> 00:37:51,999 Yeah, I got one from that crackhead over there. 494 00:37:52,070 --> 00:37:53,731 - Get in. - Why should we? 495 00:37:53,805 --> 00:37:57,639 Because you're my responsibility now, and like it or not, I'm all you've got. 496 00:37:58,209 --> 00:38:00,677 Ow! 497 00:38:01,679 --> 00:38:03,943 - Hey. Hey! - Thank God. 498 00:38:04,015 --> 00:38:06,142 Hey! What are you doing? 499 00:38:06,217 --> 00:38:09,152 - Get in the car, Marvin. - Come on, Tom, stop joking around. 500 00:38:09,220 --> 00:38:11,745 Get in the car, Marvin, or you're gonna die. 501 00:38:11,823 --> 00:38:14,223 Okay, fine. 502 00:38:17,128 --> 00:38:19,995 - No, wait for me to- - Still locked. 503 00:38:20,064 --> 00:38:22,658 - Why are you reaching at the same time? - What do you mean? 504 00:38:22,733 --> 00:38:24,530 - All right, on three. - You counting now? 505 00:38:24,602 --> 00:38:26,627 One, two, three, open the door! 506 00:38:26,704 --> 00:38:29,036 - Okay, on three. - One, two- 507 00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:30,802 Three. 508 00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:33,173 - Don't do that. You're trying to annoy me. - It's still locked. 509 00:38:33,244 --> 00:38:35,235 I'm going on three. One, two- 510 00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:36,905 Don't count when I count. I have a problem with that. 511 00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:38,778 - What's the matter with you? - Turn your mouth sideways. 512 00:38:38,850 --> 00:38:41,045 - If you look at me I lose count. - What are you crazy? 513 00:38:41,119 --> 00:38:43,451 - One, two, three! - Two, three! 514 00:38:43,521 --> 00:38:45,853 - Don't do it the same time. - You said "three." 515 00:38:45,923 --> 00:38:47,447 - You go on "four." Can you count? - Four. 516 00:38:47,525 --> 00:38:49,959 - So on your "three" or my "four"? - There's only one "three." 517 00:38:50,027 --> 00:38:52,325 - I'm tryin' to get in the car. - Then you do it on "four." 518 00:38:52,396 --> 00:38:55,092 You said, "three." So are you doin' it on "three" or am I doin' it on "two"? 519 00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:56,997 - For Christ's sake! - I heard "three." 520 00:38:57,068 --> 00:38:58,626 If the count is "three," you do it on "four." 521 00:38:58,703 --> 00:39:00,295 - Now it's "four." - Why would you go on "four"? 522 00:39:00,371 --> 00:39:02,236 You gave me "four" first and you stole my "four." 523 00:39:02,306 --> 00:39:03,967 - But I have to count to "three" first. - You stole my "four." 524 00:39:04,041 --> 00:39:06,441 - Just let me say "three." - I've got wait on you now, huh? 525 00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,069 - You want the black man to wait again? - Do whatever you want. 526 00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:11,081 - That's what I've been doin'. - Why would you do that? 527 00:39:11,149 --> 00:39:13,674 Why would you reach for it when I say "three"? That's what this is about. 528 00:39:13,751 --> 00:39:15,218 Do I still go on "four"? 529 00:39:15,286 --> 00:39:17,481 When I say "three," don't worry about "four." 530 00:39:17,555 --> 00:39:18,988 You got all the time in the world! 531 00:39:19,056 --> 00:39:23,152 You can go home, watch television and come back and then open the door! 532 00:39:23,227 --> 00:39:24,421 - Fine. - One- 533 00:39:24,495 --> 00:39:27,055 No. No "one." I'm out. No thank you. 534 00:39:27,131 --> 00:39:30,692 I'll take the next one. Does that work for you? 535 00:39:30,768 --> 00:39:32,998 - Jesus. - Attitude. 536 00:39:35,106 --> 00:39:36,869 Seriously, I'd rather be dead. 537 00:39:38,943 --> 00:39:41,070 GIRL "A girl had a pet duck. 538 00:39:41,145 --> 00:39:43,340 "She fed and took care of her pet duck. 539 00:39:43,414 --> 00:39:48,078 "But one day, the duck got loose and ran away from the girl. 540 00:39:48,152 --> 00:39:50,712 "The duck ran down the road and kept running... 541 00:39:50,788 --> 00:39:52,449 until he found a pond." 542 00:39:52,523 --> 00:39:56,152 Mr. President, we've just received word... 543 00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:58,525 the planet is under attack by aliens. 544 00:39:58,596 --> 00:40:00,188 Oh. Okay. 545 00:40:00,264 --> 00:40:02,027 "The duck went back"- 546 00:40:02,099 --> 00:40:05,000 Sir? They've already wiped out some of our cities. 547 00:40:05,069 --> 00:40:07,469 If nothing is done, they'll kill us all. 548 00:40:07,538 --> 00:40:09,733 I see. Well, I'll handle that in a minute. 549 00:40:09,807 --> 00:40:13,402 But right now, I need to find out what's happening with the duck. 550 00:40:13,477 --> 00:40:17,208 Sir, with each passing moment, more people will die. 551 00:40:17,281 --> 00:40:19,715 The people are gonna die regardless... 552 00:40:19,784 --> 00:40:22,378 but this duck still has a fighting chance. 553 00:40:22,453 --> 00:40:27,117 I've read the story before, Mr. President. 554 00:40:27,191 --> 00:40:29,216 The duck dies. 555 00:40:30,728 --> 00:40:33,219 My God! That's horrible. 556 00:40:33,297 --> 00:40:36,323 Mr. President, the aliens? We're under attack. 557 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,233 You mean, right now all of these children's parents could be dead? 558 00:40:40,771 --> 00:40:43,296 Kids! Kids, please! 559 00:40:43,374 --> 00:40:45,740 It's not as bad as it seems. 560 00:40:45,810 --> 00:40:49,405 They didn't die alone. I'm sure they died with all the other people you loved. 561 00:40:51,048 --> 00:40:53,346 Even Santa Claus? 562 00:40:53,417 --> 00:40:56,386 No, of course not. There's no such thing as Santa Claus. 563 00:40:59,857 --> 00:41:02,325 Just like the Tooth Fairy, completely made up. 564 00:41:03,227 --> 00:41:05,752 Easter Bunny- Never existed. 565 00:41:06,931 --> 00:41:09,126 The female orgasm. 566 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:12,169 Wait and see what happens when you try to find it. 567 00:41:13,271 --> 00:41:16,172 What's wrong? Your parents all getting divorces? 568 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:19,437 I can give them a little advice, if you'd like. 569 00:41:19,510 --> 00:41:22,343 Oh, I forgot. They're all dead. 570 00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:25,678 All right now, let's go on to another story, "Rumpelforeskin." 571 00:41:25,750 --> 00:41:28,446 "Stiltzkin," sir. We have to get you to the White House. 572 00:41:28,519 --> 00:41:30,180 I just don't get kids. 573 00:41:30,254 --> 00:41:33,314 - Remind me to sign that abortion bill. - Yes, sir. 574 00:41:45,836 --> 00:41:47,599 You may leave through the forward exit doors... 575 00:41:47,672 --> 00:41:49,936 or the gaping hole in the side of the plane. 576 00:41:50,007 --> 00:41:51,998 We realize you have a choice in airlines... 577 00:41:52,076 --> 00:41:55,239 and we appreciate you flying with Southern Coast Air. 578 00:41:55,313 --> 00:41:56,610 - Thank you. - Hello? 579 00:41:59,917 --> 00:42:02,852 Hey! That's mine! I found it! 580 00:42:04,221 --> 00:42:06,985 - Cindy? - Brenda? 581 00:42:07,058 --> 00:42:10,550 Oh, my God. It's been so long. 582 00:42:10,628 --> 00:42:13,028 Yeah, too long. 583 00:42:13,097 --> 00:42:14,997 I thought you were dead. 584 00:42:15,066 --> 00:42:17,057 Oh, I thought you were dead, too. 585 00:42:17,134 --> 00:42:19,534 What are you doing here? Were you on this plane? 586 00:42:19,603 --> 00:42:21,662 No, I'm trying to get a good story. 587 00:42:21,739 --> 00:42:24,469 I'm a reporter now. I work for the local news. 588 00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,134 Wow, you're really doing well for yourself. 589 00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:29,737 I was on assignment. Take a look at this. 590 00:42:29,814 --> 00:42:31,509 Here's Detroit. 591 00:42:33,284 --> 00:42:35,809 And here's Detroit after the attack. 592 00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:40,353 Oh, my God. 593 00:42:40,424 --> 00:42:43,086 The attack was devastating. 594 00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:45,856 It's over, Cindy. Humanity has lost the war. 595 00:42:45,930 --> 00:42:47,921 No, no. There's still hope. 596 00:42:47,998 --> 00:42:50,796 I have reason to believe that there's someone here that has the answers... 597 00:42:50,868 --> 00:42:54,133 maybe even a way for us to fight back. 598 00:42:54,205 --> 00:42:57,538 Come on. It would make a great story. 599 00:42:57,608 --> 00:42:59,940 Maybe. But how are we supposed to get there? 600 00:43:00,010 --> 00:43:01,944 None of these cars work. 601 00:43:02,012 --> 00:43:03,877 Wait. See if this works. 602 00:43:06,884 --> 00:43:10,183 Hey! I got the last working car in New York! 603 00:43:10,254 --> 00:43:13,189 This is our road, bitches! Ha-ha! 604 00:43:17,928 --> 00:43:20,624 You're right, Cindy. That worked pretty well. 605 00:43:20,698 --> 00:43:22,029 I- 606 00:43:32,042 --> 00:43:33,907 Look at all the injured. 607 00:43:33,978 --> 00:43:35,570 It's so sad. 608 00:43:36,847 --> 00:43:39,338 Big-ass rat, man! 609 00:43:39,417 --> 00:43:41,317 Oh! That sewer took forever to fix! 610 00:43:41,385 --> 00:43:44,081 Man, I'm gonna need a hot bath after all of that- 611 00:43:44,155 --> 00:43:45,816 What the hell happened here? 612 00:43:50,394 --> 00:43:53,090 - Zombies! - Damn! 613 00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:56,031 Let's go! 614 00:43:57,501 --> 00:43:59,162 Don't let 'em bite you! 615 00:43:59,236 --> 00:44:02,034 Good news! They can still feel electricity. 616 00:44:02,106 --> 00:44:05,234 Grandma? The zombies have got my grandma! 617 00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:08,039 Die, Grandma! Die! Die! 618 00:44:08,112 --> 00:44:11,775 - I loved you! I loved you! - Mahalik? 619 00:44:11,849 --> 00:44:14,215 Look what they did to my grandmama! 620 00:44:14,285 --> 00:44:17,686 Whoa! 621 00:44:19,123 --> 00:44:21,057 That woman raised me from birth. 622 00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:31,631 Hey, he's got a car. He's got a car. 623 00:44:31,702 --> 00:44:33,693 Give us the car and the keys! 624 00:44:33,771 --> 00:44:37,366 This isn't my car. I would, but I can't. It's not my car. 625 00:44:37,441 --> 00:44:41,275 It's not my car. Don't worry, kids. The doors are locked. 626 00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:43,040 There's no possible way they can- 627 00:44:43,113 --> 00:44:46,708 Pull the robot out of chocolate. But that's just common sense. Oh, waiter! 628 00:44:48,018 --> 00:44:50,248 - Daddy! - Kids! 629 00:44:54,859 --> 00:44:57,419 Whoa! 630 00:44:58,496 --> 00:45:00,760 Why? 631 00:45:00,831 --> 00:45:02,890 Well. 632 00:45:02,967 --> 00:45:05,936 Get back! Get back! 633 00:45:09,940 --> 00:45:12,534 Gimme the gun. I'm taking the car. 634 00:45:12,610 --> 00:45:14,601 What do I do about him? 635 00:45:14,678 --> 00:45:17,010 I don't want the car. I just need a gun. 636 00:45:17,081 --> 00:45:19,345 No way I'm giving up the gun. I want the car. 637 00:45:19,416 --> 00:45:23,409 So, you need a gun, and you want a car. 638 00:45:23,487 --> 00:45:26,684 - What do you want? - Well, I've never owned a knife. 639 00:45:26,757 --> 00:45:29,419 Okay. Let's all switch on three. 640 00:45:29,493 --> 00:45:32,360 One, two, three. 641 00:45:34,365 --> 00:45:36,333 Is this right? 642 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,528 I don't think so. 643 00:45:41,171 --> 00:45:44,299 Dad, they're taking the car. 644 00:45:44,375 --> 00:45:48,038 Yes, well, uh, let's keep going. 645 00:45:48,112 --> 00:45:51,047 What? That's it? You're giving up? 646 00:45:51,115 --> 00:45:53,447 Yeah, that's right. I'm giving up. 647 00:45:53,517 --> 00:45:55,849 You want a hero? Go find someone else. 648 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,320 Why? 649 00:45:59,723 --> 00:46:02,351 Let's go. 650 00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:04,792 Now, let me get this straight: 651 00:46:04,862 --> 00:46:08,764 The girl hugged the duck, and then it dies? 652 00:46:08,832 --> 00:46:11,392 Mr. President, the nation is under attack. 653 00:46:11,468 --> 00:46:13,163 Get me Homer Landsquiddy. 654 00:46:13,237 --> 00:46:15,728 You mean, "Homeland Security." 655 00:46:17,308 --> 00:46:20,004 Sir, this woman was an eyewitness to one of the attacks. 656 00:46:20,077 --> 00:46:22,671 - What can you tell us? - They're indestructible. 657 00:46:22,746 --> 00:46:25,408 The clothing was burned off everyone's bodies. 658 00:46:25,482 --> 00:46:28,110 There were naked people everywhere. 659 00:46:28,185 --> 00:46:30,653 - Were you naked? - No. 660 00:46:30,721 --> 00:46:32,518 Thank God. Some good news at last. 661 00:46:32,590 --> 00:46:34,421 Get her a souvenir. 662 00:46:54,445 --> 00:46:58,006 Lil' Kim- Lil' Kim got my sandwich. 663 00:46:59,483 --> 00:47:02,247 Look out- Russell Crowe's got a phone! 664 00:47:02,319 --> 00:47:04,879 R. Kelly, don't pee on me! 665 00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:08,049 My lovely lady lumps! 666 00:47:08,125 --> 00:47:10,116 Where are we? 667 00:47:10,194 --> 00:47:13,391 I'm not sure, but I think we're close. 668 00:47:13,464 --> 00:47:16,922 It's supposed to be near mile 62. 669 00:47:17,001 --> 00:47:18,730 Is something wrong? 670 00:47:18,802 --> 00:47:21,100 No, it's just... 671 00:47:21,171 --> 00:47:24,607 I met this guy, and I wonder if he's safe. 672 00:47:24,675 --> 00:47:26,609 Oh, you'd love him, Brenda. 673 00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:29,737 What's his name? I might've already loved him. 674 00:47:29,813 --> 00:47:31,576 Tom Ryan. 675 00:47:31,649 --> 00:47:34,777 Yeah, did him. Big, fat Chinese guy? 676 00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:37,946 No... No. 677 00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:41,389 But he is the kind of guy that I'd like to share the rest of my life with. 678 00:47:46,530 --> 00:47:48,555 Cindy! Look! 679 00:47:56,573 --> 00:47:58,268 What is this place? 680 00:47:58,342 --> 00:48:01,072 I don't know, but the boy's father's somewhere in there. 681 00:48:01,145 --> 00:48:03,079 We'll have to sneak our way in. 682 00:48:03,147 --> 00:48:05,138 But we're not gonna blend in dressed like this. 683 00:48:05,215 --> 00:48:08,150 - Brenda, look. - He's a wonderful boy. 684 00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,710 Ezekiel? 685 00:48:38,782 --> 00:48:40,716 Ezekiel, where are you? 686 00:48:46,290 --> 00:48:50,556 Ezekiel, shall we have a foot race? 687 00:48:50,627 --> 00:48:52,561 No cheating. 688 00:49:15,452 --> 00:49:17,010 That's him! 689 00:49:17,087 --> 00:49:19,385 He's cute. 690 00:49:22,392 --> 00:49:27,227 Friends, friends. Do not fear the noise of those of whom we do not speak. 691 00:49:27,297 --> 00:49:29,492 There is a gentle truce between our village 692 00:49:29,566 --> 00:49:32,091 and the creatures beyond their borders. 693 00:49:32,169 --> 00:49:34,034 Now, who would like to say grace? 694 00:49:34,104 --> 00:49:36,004 Ooh! 695 00:49:36,073 --> 00:49:37,904 Ah, Ezekiel. 696 00:49:39,209 --> 00:49:41,200 Pee-pee. 697 00:49:41,278 --> 00:49:44,213 Pee-pee vagina. 698 00:49:46,450 --> 00:49:48,543 Amen. 699 00:49:56,693 --> 00:49:58,923 Father? 700 00:49:58,996 --> 00:50:01,658 Holly. 701 00:50:01,732 --> 00:50:04,064 For what purpose do you interrupt 702 00:50:04,134 --> 00:50:08,537 the celebration of the domestic partnership 703 00:50:08,605 --> 00:50:10,903 of Mordecai and Hoss? 704 00:50:10,974 --> 00:50:12,908 The guards caught two outsiders near the cabin. 705 00:50:19,616 --> 00:50:21,049 Who are you? 706 00:50:21,118 --> 00:50:24,178 I must speak with you. I was sent by your son. 707 00:50:24,254 --> 00:50:26,313 Don't be ridiculous. 708 00:50:26,390 --> 00:50:28,654 - I have no son. - That's not true! 709 00:50:28,725 --> 00:50:31,023 I know who you are. I've seen the pictures. 710 00:50:31,094 --> 00:50:34,222 - I was young. I needed the work. - No. 711 00:50:34,298 --> 00:50:35,890 At Mrs. Norris's house. 712 00:50:35,966 --> 00:50:38,366 I didn't know whose house it was. 713 00:50:38,435 --> 00:50:40,869 They drugged me. Never mind that. 714 00:50:40,938 --> 00:50:45,068 You're outsiders. The council will decide your fates. 715 00:50:51,181 --> 00:50:54,708 The question of the outsiders is now at hand. 716 00:50:54,785 --> 00:50:58,380 But first, Martha, have you some tidings? 717 00:50:58,455 --> 00:51:00,821 Nathaniel Winston and Alice Smith 718 00:51:00,891 --> 00:51:02,859 have informed me of their intentions. 719 00:51:02,926 --> 00:51:06,123 He intends to have sex with her as soon as possible. 720 00:51:06,196 --> 00:51:10,257 She intends to put up a mild fight and then give in. 721 00:51:16,773 --> 00:51:19,799 Amos, something does trouble you? 722 00:51:20,844 --> 00:51:25,247 We now have a majority of those who wish to say "I'm"... 723 00:51:25,315 --> 00:51:27,647 instead of “I am." 724 00:51:27,718 --> 00:51:30,050 - I'm for that. - I am against it. 725 00:51:31,188 --> 00:51:33,486 Silence! 726 00:51:33,557 --> 00:51:35,422 We have more important matters to discuss. 727 00:51:35,492 --> 00:51:38,950 I fear that the presence of the outsiders 728 00:51:39,029 --> 00:51:42,487 will attract those of whom we do not speak. 729 00:51:42,566 --> 00:51:45,763 If you talk about those of whom we do not speak... 730 00:51:45,836 --> 00:51:48,134 have you not spoken of that 731 00:51:48,205 --> 00:51:50,002 about which we do not talk? 732 00:51:50,073 --> 00:51:53,008 Do not speak of that of about which 733 00:51:53,076 --> 00:51:57,877 we talk of not speaking... about. 734 00:52:07,190 --> 00:52:10,853 Elder Hale. We should welcome the outsiders among us. 735 00:52:10,928 --> 00:52:14,386 Jeremiah, ought not your tongue be held? 736 00:52:14,464 --> 00:52:17,194 I am sorry, Elder Hale... 737 00:52:17,267 --> 00:52:21,465 but sometimes my tongue wiggles beyond my ability to control it. 738 00:52:23,373 --> 00:52:27,173 This is a problem with which I have had much experience. 739 00:52:27,244 --> 00:52:30,338 Maybe I could help him in a room in which there are no others. 740 00:52:31,715 --> 00:52:33,945 Or you can all watch. I don't give a shit. 741 00:52:34,017 --> 00:52:36,850 Silence. 742 00:52:40,557 --> 00:52:45,017 After this, how about you take your thing of which we do not speak... 743 00:52:45,095 --> 00:52:47,290 and slide it up in my place of which I like- 744 00:52:47,364 --> 00:52:49,298 Silence! 745 00:52:49,366 --> 00:52:51,698 The elders will consult. 746 00:53:00,243 --> 00:53:01,904 Ah. Much better. 747 00:53:35,112 --> 00:53:39,048 I'm not in my house, am I? 748 00:53:39,116 --> 00:53:41,016 No. 749 00:53:44,187 --> 00:53:48,920 Outsiders, we have decided to let you stay with us... 750 00:53:48,992 --> 00:53:52,291 so that you'll be safe from those from of whom we do not- 751 00:53:52,362 --> 00:53:54,489 Or don't. 752 00:53:54,564 --> 00:53:56,054 Speak. 753 00:53:56,133 --> 00:53:59,159 But now that you are a part of our village... 754 00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:01,295 understand this: 755 00:54:01,371 --> 00:54:03,498 You may never leave. 756 00:54:03,573 --> 00:54:06,804 No! No! 757 00:54:06,877 --> 00:54:09,402 How did your son die? 758 00:54:09,479 --> 00:54:12,004 - The fate of the world is at stake. - You know what to do. 759 00:54:12,082 --> 00:54:13,743 Was it you? Did you kill him? 760 00:54:13,817 --> 00:54:15,751 This is some shit up with which we will not put. 761 00:54:15,819 --> 00:54:18,310 - I'm for that. - I am against it. 762 00:54:21,658 --> 00:54:24,923 This village isn't what it used to be. 763 00:54:27,330 --> 00:54:30,697 Just hours after the devastating alien attack... 764 00:54:30,767 --> 00:54:34,066 world leaders have gathered at the United Nations. 765 00:54:34,137 --> 00:54:36,833 In this, mankind's darkest hour... 766 00:54:36,907 --> 00:54:39,239 the human race has turned, as one... 767 00:54:39,309 --> 00:54:41,243 to the wisdom and leadership 768 00:54:41,311 --> 00:54:43,836 of the President of the United States. 769 00:54:43,914 --> 00:54:47,850 Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States. 770 00:54:47,918 --> 00:54:49,886 Go get 'em, tiger. 771 00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:51,944 They mean you, sir. 772 00:54:52,022 --> 00:54:53,819 Oh, yes, of course. 773 00:55:02,833 --> 00:55:07,031 So... an Indian, a Frenchman and the Pope are all on a plane. 774 00:55:07,104 --> 00:55:11,006 The pilot says, "Hey, are any of you not circumcised?" 775 00:55:11,074 --> 00:55:14,009 So the Pope lifts up his robe and says... 776 00:55:14,077 --> 00:55:16,773 "Shut up, stupid. You don't even speak English." 777 00:55:18,381 --> 00:55:20,713 The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes... 778 00:55:20,784 --> 00:55:23,218 but the Japanese man says, "I'm not squinting, you crazy Jew. 779 00:55:23,286 --> 00:55:26,653 You're the one who sold me these cheap glasses." 780 00:55:26,723 --> 00:55:29,385 What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit? 781 00:55:29,459 --> 00:55:33,020 The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good. 782 00:55:37,434 --> 00:55:41,336 But, on a serious note, I'm here today at the, uh... 783 00:55:42,105 --> 00:55:44,903 "un"...because the Earth has been attacked. 784 00:55:44,975 --> 00:55:47,842 I'm happy to report that we may have found a way to fight back. 785 00:55:47,911 --> 00:55:50,402 My military advisers at the Pentagram 786 00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,243 have managed to do the impossible. 787 00:55:52,315 --> 00:55:55,978 They have captured one of the alien heat ray guns. 788 00:55:56,052 --> 00:56:00,318 As you know, the heat ray destroys the body, leaving behind nothing but clothes. 789 00:56:00,390 --> 00:56:03,553 Our engineers have managed to reverse the polarity of the weapon 790 00:56:03,627 --> 00:56:06,926 in the hopes that it can now be turned against 791 00:56:06,997 --> 00:56:09,056 the alien invaders. 792 00:56:13,336 --> 00:56:16,362 Well, where was I? 793 00:56:16,439 --> 00:56:19,602 Ah, yes. We expect that the alien shields will be vulnerable 794 00:56:19,676 --> 00:56:22,167 to this reconfigured weapon. 795 00:56:24,147 --> 00:56:27,514 People, please! Please! 796 00:56:27,584 --> 00:56:32,920 Please, people. Now, I know that this new technology may seem frightening... 797 00:56:32,989 --> 00:56:36,425 but I believe that deep down inside this heat cannon 798 00:56:36,493 --> 00:56:37,926 is our best chance. 799 00:56:37,994 --> 00:56:40,428 Let me give you a demonstration. 800 00:56:40,497 --> 00:56:43,193 Now let's see if this thing is plugged in. 801 00:56:45,769 --> 00:56:47,930 Uh... it's not a very pretty sight. 802 00:56:48,004 --> 00:56:50,268 Everything's loose and flapping around. 803 00:56:50,340 --> 00:56:52,308 Look at this little pink thing. 804 00:56:59,349 --> 00:57:02,409 Someone get some lubricant, and we'll slather it around in here. 805 00:57:02,485 --> 00:57:04,817 There. 806 00:57:17,500 --> 00:57:20,663 Harper. Good God, these people are all naked. 807 00:57:20,737 --> 00:57:24,104 Have you no shame? Have you no decency? 808 00:57:24,174 --> 00:57:26,438 - Sir, you're naked, too. - I am? 809 00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:29,171 - I thought this was a wrinkly leather coat. - Sir! 810 00:57:29,246 --> 00:57:30,838 - These aren't buttons? - No! 811 00:57:30,914 --> 00:57:33,246 I've been pulling this thing up and down like a zipper. 812 00:57:33,316 --> 00:57:34,977 Mr. President, please. 813 00:57:35,051 --> 00:57:37,485 There goes that duck again. 814 00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:45,494 Yo, man, you see this red weed? 815 00:57:45,562 --> 00:57:47,553 Nope. 816 00:57:47,631 --> 00:57:49,565 Dad, how much further till Mom's? 817 00:57:49,633 --> 00:57:51,464 I don't know. 818 00:57:51,534 --> 00:57:54,128 I'm not sure how much longer I can carry your sister. 819 00:57:54,204 --> 00:57:57,503 I've been walking this entire time. 820 00:57:57,574 --> 00:58:00,168 - Then who the hell is- - I'll pay you. 821 00:58:00,243 --> 00:58:02,837 Stay close, Rachel. 822 00:58:02,912 --> 00:58:06,348 Dad, look! 823 00:58:06,416 --> 00:58:09,214 Hey! Hey! You guys! I want to help! 824 00:58:09,286 --> 00:58:11,220 Robbie! Oh, no. 825 00:58:12,856 --> 00:58:16,223 Don't move. For God's sake, stay right there. I'll be right back! 826 00:58:16,293 --> 00:58:19,285 Hey! Hey, you guys! I want to help. 827 00:58:21,698 --> 00:58:23,461 Awesome! 828 00:58:23,533 --> 00:58:26,127 - Wait! - Are you crazy? 829 00:58:26,202 --> 00:58:28,329 No! They'll pay for half my college. 830 00:58:29,739 --> 00:58:31,604 Kick ass. 831 00:58:31,675 --> 00:58:33,506 Robbie! 832 00:58:33,576 --> 00:58:35,510 - Yes! - What's the matter with you? 833 00:58:35,578 --> 00:58:38,843 Hey, look at that guy. This is so cool! 834 00:58:40,917 --> 00:58:44,648 Robbie! Robbie! 835 00:58:50,126 --> 00:58:52,651 Rachel! Rachel! 836 00:58:52,729 --> 00:58:55,027 Little girl, are you alone? 837 00:58:55,098 --> 00:58:57,157 You need to come with me. 838 00:58:57,233 --> 00:58:59,224 I'll keep you safe, right, kids? 839 00:58:59,302 --> 00:59:00,735 Uh-uh. 840 00:59:00,804 --> 00:59:02,863 - Do you have a little brother? - Get away from her! 841 00:59:06,343 --> 00:59:08,004 Run away, kids! 842 00:59:08,845 --> 00:59:10,540 Toward the tripod, if you have to! 843 00:59:10,613 --> 00:59:12,945 Don't go! I've got a Ferris wheel and a chimp... 844 00:59:13,016 --> 00:59:15,450 and a big, soft bed we can all get in. 845 00:59:19,989 --> 00:59:22,389 No, please! 846 00:59:22,459 --> 00:59:23,756 Not my real face! 847 00:59:23,827 --> 00:59:25,692 Not my real face! 848 00:59:25,762 --> 00:59:27,787 No! 849 00:59:33,436 --> 00:59:35,028 Over here. 850 00:59:35,105 --> 00:59:38,199 Follow me to safety. 851 00:59:38,274 --> 00:59:41,402 - Ow! - Follow me to safety. 852 00:59:41,478 --> 00:59:44,413 - I don't know about this. - I'm an excellent judge of character. 853 00:59:44,481 --> 00:59:46,972 All right. Yeah. 854 01:00:12,142 --> 01:00:15,077 That's it. 855 01:00:15,145 --> 01:00:16,373 Oh, Brenda. 856 01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:20,815 Yes! You did it! 857 01:00:20,884 --> 01:00:24,581 You have learned quickly and produced splendid butter. 858 01:00:24,654 --> 01:00:27,122 Are you sure you have not churned before? 859 01:00:27,190 --> 01:00:29,681 Well, we don't call it churning where I come from. 860 01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:39,197 Pee-pee vagina. 861 01:00:53,383 --> 01:00:55,317 Quick! Into the cellar. 862 01:00:55,385 --> 01:00:57,910 No! 863 01:00:57,987 --> 01:01:01,013 This is the cellar. That's the cesspool. 864 01:01:01,090 --> 01:01:02,682 Damn it! 865 01:01:05,228 --> 01:01:06,559 Quick! 866 01:01:27,450 --> 01:01:29,918 Boogedy-boogedy-boogedy. 867 01:01:29,986 --> 01:01:32,147 Boogedy-boogedy-boogedy-boogedy. 868 01:01:32,222 --> 01:01:35,055 Hey! You're not monsters. 869 01:01:37,327 --> 01:01:38,885 Old Lady Henderson? 870 01:01:38,962 --> 01:01:41,362 And Pig-Face Joe! 871 01:01:46,569 --> 01:01:48,434 What happened? 872 01:01:48,505 --> 01:01:49,995 It is Henry. 873 01:01:50,073 --> 01:01:52,633 He has suffered a heart attack 874 01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:54,700 brought on by this knife. 875 01:01:56,145 --> 01:01:58,045 Who did this? 876 01:01:58,114 --> 01:02:00,048 It was... Ezekiel. 877 01:02:01,885 --> 01:02:03,876 Henry, you need a hospital. 878 01:02:03,953 --> 01:02:06,444 It's not too late. We can help you. 879 01:02:06,523 --> 01:02:09,651 Perhaps you could start by not leaning on the knife. 880 01:02:12,762 --> 01:02:14,423 Do not be concerned for him, Cindy. 881 01:02:14,497 --> 01:02:17,955 We have sent our most qualified villager for medicines. 882 01:02:31,047 --> 01:02:33,038 I am so dead. 883 01:02:33,116 --> 01:02:35,710 Please, leave me alone with Cindy and Brenda. 884 01:02:35,785 --> 01:02:37,377 I have much to tell them. 885 01:02:40,723 --> 01:02:42,816 Listen carefully to me. 886 01:02:42,892 --> 01:02:44,883 I am not long for this world. 887 01:02:44,961 --> 01:02:46,929 - Pussy. - Brenda! 888 01:02:46,996 --> 01:02:50,796 What? 50 Cent got shot nine times. He's still walking around. 889 01:02:50,867 --> 01:02:53,927 Tell me, Henry, who killed the boy? Was it you? 890 01:02:54,003 --> 01:02:57,837 No, I loved him and his mother very much. 891 01:02:57,907 --> 01:02:59,898 I should have been with him when he died. 892 01:02:59,976 --> 01:03:02,240 It was horrible. 893 01:03:02,312 --> 01:03:04,337 What happened? You must tell me. 894 01:03:04,414 --> 01:03:06,575 They went to a boxing match. 895 01:03:06,649 --> 01:03:09,083 It was a women's championship title fight. 896 01:03:10,553 --> 01:03:13,386 And there was a terrible accident. 897 01:03:13,456 --> 01:03:15,617 Oh, my God. 898 01:03:26,502 --> 01:03:28,436 Only in America! 899 01:03:33,142 --> 01:03:35,838 All this time, I've been searching for his killer 900 01:03:35,912 --> 01:03:37,880 when it was me, Brenda. 901 01:03:37,947 --> 01:03:39,881 It was all my fault. 902 01:03:39,949 --> 01:03:42,679 Henry, your son told me that if I found his killer... 903 01:03:42,752 --> 01:03:44,720 I would know how to defeat the aliens. 904 01:03:44,787 --> 01:03:47,722 And he was right. Don't you see? 905 01:03:47,790 --> 01:03:50,918 All you have to do is- 906 01:03:54,230 --> 01:03:56,323 Who the hell let his ass out of jail? 907 01:03:56,399 --> 01:03:58,162 His brother, the sheriff. 908 01:04:01,537 --> 01:04:04,506 Fuckin' "A." 909 01:04:09,412 --> 01:04:11,642 There you go, sweetie. 910 01:04:11,714 --> 01:04:13,648 We're gonna die, aren't we? 911 01:04:13,716 --> 01:04:17,846 Hey, nothing's gonna happen to you. I haven't lost anyone yet. 912 01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:21,378 - You've lost Robbie. - Except Robbie. 913 01:04:21,457 --> 01:04:25,860 None of that matters right now. What's important is that I'm here with you. 914 01:04:25,928 --> 01:04:27,862 Try and get some sleep, okay? 915 01:04:29,132 --> 01:04:31,191 Sing me "Lullaby and Good Night"? 916 01:04:32,969 --> 01:04:35,335 I don't know that one. 917 01:04:35,405 --> 01:04:37,930 Sing me "Hushabye Mountain"? 918 01:04:38,007 --> 01:04:40,066 I'm sorry, Rachel, I don't that one, either. 919 01:05:16,813 --> 01:05:19,247 Hey. Come on in. 920 01:05:19,315 --> 01:05:21,909 Have a seat. 921 01:05:21,984 --> 01:05:24,976 - The name's Oliver. - Tom Ryan. 922 01:05:26,923 --> 01:05:29,687 I found this place. Plenty of food- 923 01:05:30,660 --> 01:05:33,527 Along with two freshly killed busybodies upstairs... 924 01:05:33,596 --> 01:05:36,793 who "owned" the place. We could stay here forever. 925 01:05:36,866 --> 01:05:39,630 - Are you afraid? - Of course I'm afraid. 926 01:05:39,702 --> 01:05:41,863 I'm not. I've been around death plenty. 927 01:05:41,938 --> 01:05:44,429 I used to drive an ambulance in the city... 928 01:05:44,507 --> 01:05:48,102 but, apparently, I wasn't a very strong driver. 929 01:05:48,177 --> 01:05:50,509 It seems I was killing more people than I was saving. 930 01:05:50,580 --> 01:05:53,276 Something about that siren got me excited. 931 01:05:53,349 --> 01:05:56,910 Wham! Carnage. 932 01:05:56,986 --> 01:05:59,420 But this is different. This is a war. 933 01:05:59,489 --> 01:06:01,787 No, it's an extermination. 934 01:06:01,858 --> 01:06:04,622 It's no more of a war than there's a war between men and maggots... 935 01:06:04,694 --> 01:06:07,026 or dragons and wolves... 936 01:06:07,096 --> 01:06:11,226 or men riding dragons, throwing wolves at maggots. 937 01:06:11,300 --> 01:06:14,997 Damn it, Tom. Can't you understand what I'm trying to tell you? 938 01:06:15,071 --> 01:06:17,562 These aliens must have a weakness. 939 01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:20,040 I heard that the Japs killed a few of 'em over in Kikkoman. 940 01:06:20,109 --> 01:06:22,942 Kikkoman. That's-That's soy sauce. 941 01:06:23,012 --> 01:06:24,775 Right, yeah. Low sodium. 942 01:06:24,847 --> 01:06:28,010 What I'm trying to say, Tom, is that you and I should be fighting these things. 943 01:06:28,084 --> 01:06:30,484 It's us that should be coming up from under the ground. 944 01:06:30,553 --> 01:06:32,612 Of course, we'll have to bury ourselves first... 945 01:06:32,688 --> 01:06:34,019 but it'll be worth it. 946 01:06:34,090 --> 01:06:36,217 Cool breeze. No sunblock. Worms. 947 01:06:36,292 --> 01:06:39,284 When we build our own tripods, they'll have four legs. 948 01:06:39,362 --> 01:06:41,330 I gotta show ya something. 949 01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:47,692 We'll tunnel up from behind and scare the piss out of ‘em. 950 01:06:52,708 --> 01:06:55,199 Wish we had some shovels, don't you? 951 01:07:04,387 --> 01:07:06,617 Dad. 952 01:08:12,722 --> 01:08:15,190 Daddy! 953 01:08:15,258 --> 01:08:16,885 Rachel! 954 01:08:19,428 --> 01:08:23,262 Rachel! Rachel! 955 01:08:32,608 --> 01:08:35,543 What's the secret, Brenda? What am I missing? 956 01:08:37,747 --> 01:08:40,716 Oh, please! More fake monsters? 957 01:08:48,624 --> 01:08:52,253 Cindy! 958 01:09:08,044 --> 01:09:11,241 Help! Help! 959 01:09:12,615 --> 01:09:15,607 I promised I'd find you, didn't I? 960 01:09:29,398 --> 01:09:32,196 Where are we? What is this? 961 01:09:32,268 --> 01:09:35,328 Some kind of basket attached to the tripod. 962 01:09:35,404 --> 01:09:37,065 Jesus! 963 01:09:37,139 --> 01:09:40,040 I know, it's horrible. But why? 964 01:09:40,109 --> 01:09:41,940 What are the aliens gonna do to us? 965 01:09:42,011 --> 01:09:43,945 I don't know, but they're taking everyone- 966 01:09:44,013 --> 01:09:46,709 young, old, rich, poor, Chingy. 967 01:09:57,893 --> 01:09:59,986 - Daddy! - Rachel! 968 01:10:00,062 --> 01:10:03,463 - No! - Daddy! Help! 969 01:10:03,532 --> 01:10:05,432 Tom! 970 01:10:15,277 --> 01:10:17,939 Am I dead? 971 01:10:18,014 --> 01:10:20,107 You're not dead. 972 01:10:29,825 --> 01:10:32,259 - Brenda! - Cindy! 973 01:10:32,328 --> 01:10:35,126 Hey... could be worse. 974 01:10:37,933 --> 01:10:41,198 - You want to switch? - Okay. 975 01:10:41,270 --> 01:10:44,171 Brenda, look! 976 01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:47,835 I don't believe it! The aliens killed a dinosaur! 977 01:10:52,014 --> 01:10:56,110 Hello, humans. Welcome to the inside of the command tripod. 978 01:10:56,919 --> 01:10:59,387 Where's Rachel? What have you done with my daughter? 979 01:10:59,455 --> 01:11:03,323 All in good time, Tom. But first, I want to play a game. 980 01:11:03,392 --> 01:11:07,192 The devices you wear will trigger in 60 seconds. 981 01:11:07,263 --> 01:11:11,723 The switch on the wall behind Cindy will disable them. 982 01:11:11,801 --> 01:11:13,666 But where is the key? 983 01:11:13,736 --> 01:11:15,328 I'll give you a hint, Cindy. 984 01:11:16,772 --> 01:11:18,501 Let the game begin. 985 01:11:18,574 --> 01:11:22,305 I... I don't get it. 986 01:11:22,378 --> 01:11:27,008 Okay... maybe this will help you "see." 987 01:11:33,956 --> 01:11:37,551 You want me to... cut something? 988 01:11:37,626 --> 01:11:40,891 That should be obvious, yes. 989 01:11:42,932 --> 01:11:44,399 No. 990 01:11:46,535 --> 01:11:49,561 No! The key is behind your eye, okay? 991 01:11:55,578 --> 01:11:58,911 Zoltar, get in here! This one's gonna do it! 992 01:12:02,952 --> 01:12:05,216 Fake eye. 993 01:12:05,287 --> 01:12:07,619 Bad bar fight in '96. 994 01:12:11,427 --> 01:12:13,861 Oh. 995 01:12:16,031 --> 01:12:19,967 Oh... oh, I hope this doesn't come between us. 996 01:12:20,035 --> 01:12:22,026 Of course not. 997 01:12:28,811 --> 01:12:31,439 Is it too late for me to try this on? 998 01:12:31,514 --> 01:12:33,379 Silence! The game is not yet over. 999 01:12:35,885 --> 01:12:37,546 - Rachel! - Daddy! 1000 01:12:37,620 --> 01:12:40,054 - Robbie! Daddy! 1001 01:12:43,993 --> 01:12:48,225 The only thing keeping your children alive, Tom, is you. 1002 01:12:48,297 --> 01:12:50,788 Well, we had a good run. 1003 01:12:54,470 --> 01:12:57,132 Ha! You weren't expecting that, were you? 1004 01:12:57,206 --> 01:13:00,141 On the contrary, I was counting on it. 1005 01:13:05,915 --> 01:13:08,611 I call it..."the nutcracker." 1006 01:13:08,684 --> 01:13:10,618 Why? 1007 01:13:10,686 --> 01:13:13,416 Of course. 1008 01:13:19,094 --> 01:13:24,259 Tempura. Sushi. Sashimi! 1009 01:13:28,204 --> 01:13:30,468 Oh, my- Oh, my gosh. 1010 01:13:30,539 --> 01:13:34,134 Of course. Follow the blood. Henry was his stepdad. 1011 01:13:34,210 --> 01:13:36,701 You're the little boy's real father! 1012 01:13:36,779 --> 01:13:38,679 Where did you even meet her? 1013 01:13:38,747 --> 01:13:41,215 It was spring break in Cabo. So what? 1014 01:13:41,283 --> 01:13:43,615 I blended in. Seriously, who gives a crap? 1015 01:13:43,686 --> 01:13:45,017 What's this? 1016 01:13:47,523 --> 01:13:49,457 Enjoy your purple nurple, Tom. 1017 01:13:52,728 --> 01:13:54,821 Please, your son wouldn't want this. 1018 01:13:54,897 --> 01:13:57,695 His soul walks the Earth because of the pain you've caused him. 1019 01:13:57,766 --> 01:14:00,394 No. I have crossed a galaxy for revenge. 1020 01:14:00,469 --> 01:14:02,664 But it's my fault. Let the others go. 1021 01:14:02,738 --> 01:14:05,901 Oh, I don't think so. Look upon him as he writhes! 1022 01:14:05,975 --> 01:14:09,376 Hey, Cindy! Look, I'm on TV, y'all! Check it out! 1023 01:14:09,445 --> 01:14:11,538 I'm gonna give a shout out to all my peeps! 1024 01:14:13,983 --> 01:14:15,678 Have you lost your mind? 1025 01:14:15,751 --> 01:14:18,185 No one... bitch slaps... Brenda! 1026 01:14:18,254 --> 01:14:20,415 Zoltar, help! 1027 01:14:20,489 --> 01:14:23,925 Oh, oh! This is some bullshit! 1028 01:14:23,993 --> 01:14:27,360 I know you hold a grudge against humanity for your son's death, but- 1029 01:14:27,429 --> 01:14:29,761 Oh, wet willy! 1030 01:14:29,832 --> 01:14:33,063 Killing us won't bring your little boy back. 1031 01:14:33,135 --> 01:14:36,036 No. You will all pay for what you have done. 1032 01:14:36,105 --> 01:14:38,198 Besides, I've already built this thing. 1033 01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:42,702 When the trap closes on you, it will lock the chain in place. 1034 01:14:42,778 --> 01:14:44,769 Your children will be saved... 1035 01:14:44,847 --> 01:14:47,441 but you will suffer a terrible death. 1036 01:14:47,516 --> 01:14:50,178 Can you hang on to the ones you love? 1037 01:14:50,252 --> 01:14:52,379 You have 60 seconds. 1038 01:14:53,956 --> 01:14:57,619 - No. - Don't worry, kids. I won't quit on you. 1039 01:14:59,161 --> 01:15:01,095 It's okay to let go, Dad. 1040 01:15:01,163 --> 01:15:03,723 All you ever had to do was show that you loved me. 1041 01:15:05,000 --> 01:15:07,264 And show me what it means to be a man. 1042 01:15:07,336 --> 01:15:09,861 And show me that I could love again. 1043 01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:12,769 We forgive you, Dad. 1044 01:15:23,986 --> 01:15:25,954 The spikes- they stopped! 1045 01:15:29,625 --> 01:15:31,991 - Kids! - Daddy! 1046 01:15:36,332 --> 01:15:39,301 Are you... sparing our lives? 1047 01:15:39,368 --> 01:15:41,302 Anyone can hold a grudge... 1048 01:15:41,370 --> 01:15:43,668 but it takes real courage to forgive. 1049 01:15:43,739 --> 01:15:47,675 - The invasion is over. - And? 1050 01:15:47,743 --> 01:15:50,803 And I guess I'm sorry or something. I don't know. 1051 01:15:50,879 --> 01:15:52,506 Like you mean it. 1052 01:15:52,581 --> 01:15:54,515 Okay. 1053 01:15:54,583 --> 01:15:57,177 I'm sorry for killing millions of people. Whatever! 1054 01:15:57,252 --> 01:15:59,914 Wait... where's Brenda? 1055 01:16:02,524 --> 01:16:04,151 What? 1056 01:16:04,226 --> 01:16:06,626 We're at peace now. I was just sealing the deal. 1057 01:16:07,896 --> 01:16:11,229 Come on, Brenda. Let's go. 1058 01:16:11,300 --> 01:16:15,202 Bye, Zoltar! Don't lose my number! 1059 01:16:17,306 --> 01:16:19,297 Tell me you didn't catch something. 1060 01:16:19,375 --> 01:16:22,276 Nah, it's cool. She said she was a virgin. 1061 01:16:24,480 --> 01:16:26,846 We are so fucked. 1062 01:16:42,064 --> 01:16:43,998 Mommy! 1063 01:16:48,871 --> 01:16:50,168 Thank you. 1064 01:16:52,574 --> 01:16:54,303 Hey, look, kids- Grandpa. 1065 01:16:56,278 --> 01:16:58,007 No, that's my new husband. 1066 01:17:04,787 --> 01:17:09,417 Oh, I think it's romantic- the way love can find anyone. 1067 01:17:13,328 --> 01:17:16,786 And so, love triumphed in the end... 1068 01:17:16,865 --> 01:17:19,163 and the invaders were destroyed. 1069 01:17:19,234 --> 01:17:21,964 For this world, our world... 1070 01:17:22,037 --> 01:17:24,005 is the world of man. 1071 01:17:24,072 --> 01:17:27,098 We have earned the right to live here... 1072 01:17:27,176 --> 01:17:31,545 and as long as we love, humanity will prevail. 1073 01:17:31,613 --> 01:17:35,447 Each of our enemies has failed in their quest to defeat us... 1074 01:17:35,517 --> 01:17:40,250 each has been undone by their own nefarious plans. 1075 01:17:40,322 --> 01:17:43,780 Among all worlds, across all galaxies... 1076 01:17:43,859 --> 01:17:47,522 we stand above, we stand alone. 1077 01:17:47,596 --> 01:17:52,226 None can threaten our existence, none can challenge our spirit. 1078 01:17:52,301 --> 01:17:54,235 And why? 1079 01:17:54,303 --> 01:17:57,602 Of all the qualities that make us unique... 1080 01:17:57,673 --> 01:18:00,335 it is love that is our greatest strength... 1081 01:18:00,409 --> 01:18:03,037 and because of love, mankind- 1082 01:18:07,082 --> 01:18:10,313 Thank you. Hello, and welcome to the show. 1083 01:18:10,385 --> 01:18:14,151 We have got a very special man with some very special news. 1084 01:18:14,223 --> 01:18:17,454 That's right- he's in the building! The man who saved the world! 1085 01:18:17,526 --> 01:18:19,790 Put your hands together for Tom Ryan! 1086 01:18:22,865 --> 01:18:25,459 - Yes! - My best friend. 1087 01:18:34,409 --> 01:18:36,673 Whoo! 1088 01:18:41,316 --> 01:18:44,114 - Wow. - That's it? 1089 01:18:44,186 --> 01:18:45,881 Okay. 1090 01:18:50,092 --> 01:18:53,459 - So, you're in love. - I am. I'm in love. 1091 01:18:58,600 --> 01:19:01,000 He's lost it. The boy's lost it. 1092 01:19:01,069 --> 01:19:03,697 Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 1093 01:19:09,344 --> 01:19:11,938 - You are adorable when you are in love. - Thank you. 1094 01:19:12,014 --> 01:19:15,313 - Tell us all about her. - She's great. She's really terrific. 1095 01:19:15,384 --> 01:19:17,045 So it's complicated. 1096 01:19:17,119 --> 01:19:19,383 Yeah, you were saying that-that she's complex, I guess. 1097 01:19:19,454 --> 01:19:21,285 Shut up! 1098 01:19:29,898 --> 01:19:33,163 - Ow! - You're insane. Tom Ryan is insane! 1099 01:19:33,235 --> 01:19:35,260 - I'm insane! - Are you happy? 1100 01:19:35,337 --> 01:19:37,305 - You're happy? - I'm so happy. Hey! Look! 1101 01:19:37,372 --> 01:19:42,105 Whoa! 1102 01:19:42,177 --> 01:19:44,168 Tom. Okay, you've got balls. 1103 01:19:46,748 --> 01:19:50,309 Yeah! 1104 01:19:50,385 --> 01:19:52,182 Shoe! 1105 01:19:57,025 --> 01:19:59,516 I love Cindy Campbell! 1106 01:19:59,595 --> 01:20:02,029 I can jump on things! 1107 01:20:03,065 --> 01:20:05,033 Whoa! 1108 01:20:08,503 --> 01:20:11,734 Wowee-wowee-wowee-wowee-wowee! 1109 01:20:11,807 --> 01:20:13,741 Wowee- wowee-wowee-wowee! 1110 01:20:13,809 --> 01:20:17,142 Ya-ha! Whoa! 1111 01:20:21,450 --> 01:20:23,247 Okay, um, Tom... isn't Cindy here? 1112 01:20:23,318 --> 01:20:26,082 I know she's here. Cindy, I know you're in the building. 1113 01:20:26,154 --> 01:20:28,486 - Cindy! Cindy! - Cindy! Cindy! 1114 01:20:28,557 --> 01:20:33,551 - Let's bring her out right now! - I love this woman! I love this woman! 1115 01:20:42,037 --> 01:20:45,006 Oh, God! God! 1116 01:20:45,073 --> 01:20:48,008 Oh, God! 1117 01:20:49,509 --> 01:20:53,009 Subtitles by GMoRK .:ESiR:.