1
00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:03,751
I can't.
2
00:00:03,835 --> 00:00:05,793
I'm sorry,
I can't do this anymore.
3
00:00:05,876 --> 00:00:06,793
What?
4
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,085
Why not?
5
00:00:08,168 --> 00:00:09,918
I'm burnt out, Lou,
6
00:00:10,001 --> 00:00:11,001
I got a family, man.
7
00:00:11,085 --> 00:00:12,835
I'm working 20-hour days
every day.
8
00:00:12,918 --> 00:00:14,710
I ain't making no money.
9
00:00:14,793 --> 00:00:16,793
Mr. Hanky makes more than me.
10
00:00:16,876 --> 00:00:18,960
Dave, you signed a contract
for two seasons,
11
00:00:19,043 --> 00:00:20,751
and I don't know if
you've read USA Toda ,
12
00:00:20,835 --> 00:00:22,960
but we expect you back
for a third.
13
00:00:23,043 --> 00:00:24,543
Oh, oh, really?
14
00:00:24,626 --> 00:00:26,376
Really?
You expect me back, huh?
15
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,418
Well, guess what,
expect this,
16
00:00:28,501 --> 00:00:31,085
my resignation,
effective immediately.
17
00:00:31,168 --> 00:00:32,043
I quit!
18
00:00:32,126 --> 00:00:34,043
Suit yourself, Dave.
19
00:00:34,126 --> 00:00:36,460
You've already shot
all of your sketches.
20
00:00:36,543 --> 00:00:39,876
At this point in the season,
you're replaceable.
21
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,210
[chuckles] Replaceable?
22
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,585
You gonna replace me?
23
00:00:44,668 --> 00:00:46,043
Dave Chappelle
of Chappelle's Show ?
24
00:00:47,043 --> 00:00:48,001
I'd like to see that.
25
00:00:48,085 --> 00:00:51,168
♪ Brady Show,
The Brady show ♪
26
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,418
♪ Brady Show ♪
27
00:00:52,501 --> 00:00:54,793
-Hey.
♪ Brady show ♪
28
00:00:54,876 --> 00:00:56,210
♪ Brady show ♪
29
00:00:56,043 --> 00:00:57,626
♪ Not the Dave Show ♪
-No.
30
00:00:57,710 --> 00:00:59,043
♪ Not no mo' ♪
31
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,626
♪ The Brady show ♪
32
00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:01,918
Say what?
33
00:01:02,001 --> 00:01:04,585
♪ The Brady show,
The Brady show ♪
34
00:01:04,668 --> 00:01:08,418
♪ Let's start the show
Whoa, whoa ♪
35
00:01:11,210 --> 00:01:13,835
[man] Wayne Brady!
36
00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:17,710
Whoo, hey!
37
00:01:19,668 --> 00:01:24,085
Welcome, folks up top,
people down here.
38
00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:25,876
Everybody!
39
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:28,085
Comedy Central!
40
00:01:28,168 --> 00:01:29,085
Hey!
41
00:01:29,168 --> 00:01:30,543
Thank you guys so much.
42
00:01:30,626 --> 00:01:34,126
As you saw, this really is
The Wayne Brady Show ,
43
00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:35,835
No longer
The Chappelle Show .
44
00:01:35,918 --> 00:01:40,585
Dave has been, uh...downsized,
and, um, and I've been brought--
45
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:43,210
-Hey, you're so wonderful.
-No, you--
46
00:01:43,043 --> 00:01:45,085
Oh, thank you.
47
00:01:45,168 --> 00:01:47,543
[cheers and applause]
48
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,210
You know, one of the things
in Hollywood is,
49
00:02:09,043 --> 00:02:12,293
there are only
a few of us black actors
50
00:02:12,376 --> 00:02:13,918
that happen to be working.
51
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:15,918
And nothing makes me happier
than to be able
52
00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:18,085
to take another
black actor's job.
53
00:02:18,168 --> 00:02:20,918
[applause]
54
00:02:21,001 --> 00:02:22,876
Thank you.
I'm just doing my thing.
55
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:26,918
So Dave--
Before he was let go,
56
00:02:27,001 --> 00:02:28,335
he taped a bunch
of his sketches.
57
00:02:28,418 --> 00:02:31,043
So before we go on with
the third season,
58
00:02:31,126 --> 00:02:32,460
which would be
The Wayne Brady Show ,
59
00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:34,501
we have to burn off
all of his sketches.
60
00:02:34,585 --> 00:02:38,210
So excuse me, I'm gonna
give my flowers to you, sir,
61
00:02:38,293 --> 00:02:40,835
but not in that way, dude.
62
00:02:40,918 --> 00:02:43,376
So this next sketch,
this is about--
63
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,460
You guys know the show
Fear Factor , right?
64
00:02:45,543 --> 00:02:47,001
[audience] Yeah.
65
00:02:47,085 --> 00:02:49,126
So Dave and those guys,
they found a very, very
66
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,085
special episode
of Fear Factor
67
00:02:51,168 --> 00:02:52,335
that they wanted
to share with you.
68
00:02:52,418 --> 00:02:53,793
Let's take a look.
69
00:02:53,876 --> 00:02:57,085
I'm Joe Rogan,
And this is Fear Factor .
70
00:02:57,168 --> 00:02:58,585
My name's Jeff.
71
00:02:58,668 --> 00:03:01,251
I'm a computer programmer
from Redondo beach,
72
00:03:01,335 --> 00:03:05,543
and I refuse to lose.
73
00:03:05,626 --> 00:03:07,376
My name is Rita,
I'm from Idaho,
74
00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:09,960
but trust me,
I ain't no couch potato.
75
00:03:10,043 --> 00:03:12,168
I'm Anne.
I'm from Boston.
76
00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:13,626
I promised my mom
77
00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:15,460
I wasn't going to
embarrass her here tonight.
78
00:03:16,085 --> 00:03:17,293
Huh?
79
00:03:17,376 --> 00:03:19,085
Oh.
80
00:03:19,168 --> 00:03:21,376
Hi, I'm Tyrone Biggums.
81
00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:24,001
I heard that
I could win a lot of money
82
00:03:24,085 --> 00:03:26,793
And I get a pig testicle dinner
with all the fixings.
83
00:03:27,918 --> 00:03:29,168
You got to play to win!
84
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,043
Here is your first stunt.
85
00:03:35,001 --> 00:03:37,876
We got to eat that?
I can't eat all of it.
86
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,793
You will each have to lie
in this coffin
87
00:03:39,876 --> 00:03:41,293
covered with worms and bugs.
88
00:03:41,376 --> 00:03:43,168
The three of you
that can last the longest
89
00:03:43,251 --> 00:03:45,251
will move on to
the next round.
90
00:03:45,085 --> 00:03:48,835
Rita, you're up first.
Climb on in.
91
00:03:50,085 --> 00:03:52,210
Alright, we're gonna have to
add a few more to the mix.
92
00:03:52,293 --> 00:03:55,210
Oh, Joe Rogan,
You crazy!
93
00:03:59,460 --> 00:04:01,126
God.
94
00:04:01,210 --> 00:04:04,251
One of them tried
to crawl in my mouth!
95
00:04:04,085 --> 00:04:07,168
One minute
and forty-two seconds.
96
00:04:08,918 --> 00:04:11,501
Let me just help you out,
get some on him.
97
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,960
There you go.
98
00:04:15,168 --> 00:04:18,085
Look at 'em spreading.
They spreading.
99
00:04:19,085 --> 00:04:21,126
Five minutes
and forty-two seconds.
100
00:04:21,210 --> 00:04:22,835
Anne, it's all up to you.
101
00:04:22,918 --> 00:04:24,460
Lie down.
102
00:04:24,543 --> 00:04:25,626
[screams]
103
00:04:29,210 --> 00:04:31,210
Oh, God,
that was gross.
104
00:04:31,293 --> 00:04:33,251
Wow.
Alright, Ty.
105
00:04:33,085 --> 00:04:34,710
I'm gonna tell you
something about me,
106
00:04:34,793 --> 00:04:36,751
Joe Rogan,
that you might not know.
107
00:04:36,835 --> 00:04:38,251
I smoke rocks.
108
00:04:38,085 --> 00:04:41,210
[audience laughing]
109
00:04:41,043 --> 00:04:42,043
Mmm!
110
00:04:44,210 --> 00:04:48,043
[laughing and applauding]
111
00:04:51,168 --> 00:04:52,585
You did it, Tyrone.
112
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:54,626
You shattered Jeff's time.
You can come on out now, man.
113
00:04:54,710 --> 00:04:56,793
Um, Joe Rogan,
if it's all the same to you,
114
00:04:56,876 --> 00:04:59,251
I'd like to finish
reading my newspaper.
115
00:04:59,335 --> 00:05:02,793
I haven't had a chance to
sit still and read for so long.
116
00:05:02,876 --> 00:05:05,126
[chuckles]
117
00:05:05,210 --> 00:05:07,626
Technically, you can stay
in there as long as you want.
118
00:05:07,710 --> 00:05:09,210
You know what?
119
00:05:09,293 --> 00:05:10,751
I think
I'm gonna take a nap.
120
00:05:14,085 --> 00:05:16,126
Go ahead without me.
I'll catch up.
121
00:05:16,210 --> 00:05:18,793
Could you dim the lights,
please, Joe Rogan?
122
00:05:25,543 --> 00:05:27,501
[farting]
Ugh!
123
00:05:29,626 --> 00:05:31,001
[snoring]
124
00:05:31,085 --> 00:05:32,585
[farts]
Crack.
125
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:38,751
Alright, it's time
for your next challenge,
126
00:05:38,835 --> 00:05:41,335
walking on hot coals.
127
00:05:41,418 --> 00:05:44,085
Some of these coals burn
at over 1,000 degrees.
128
00:05:44,168 --> 00:05:45,293
Goddamn!
129
00:05:45,376 --> 00:05:47,168
The two people
that can spend the most time
130
00:05:47,251 --> 00:05:49,126
on those coals will advance.
131
00:05:50,085 --> 00:05:52,126
Alright, Rita,
You're up first.
132
00:05:52,210 --> 00:05:53,085
You ready to do this?
133
00:05:53,168 --> 00:05:54,085
Yeah.
134
00:05:54,168 --> 00:05:55,085
Go!
135
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,251
Time, eight seconds.
136
00:06:01,335 --> 00:06:03,543
Go! Come on, Jeff.
137
00:06:05,126 --> 00:06:07,126
Time, seven seconds.
138
00:06:07,210 --> 00:06:08,251
Rita, he didn't beat
your time.
139
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:10,960
Congratulations,
you advance automatically.
140
00:06:11,043 --> 00:06:13,168
Tyrone,
it's up to you now.
141
00:06:13,251 --> 00:06:15,335
All you have to do is beat
Jeff's time of seven seconds,
142
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,210
And you will
move on to the next round
143
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:20,168
and be that much closer
to $50 thousand.
144
00:06:20,251 --> 00:06:21,460
Oh!
145
00:06:21,543 --> 00:06:22,918
Take your shoes off.
Let's do it.
146
00:06:23,001 --> 00:06:24,126
Whoa.
147
00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:25,085
Tyrone, I think
there's something wrong
148
00:06:25,168 --> 00:06:26,251
with one of your feet.
149
00:06:27,043 --> 00:06:28,918
-Oh!
-Go!
150
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:36,251
Hey, Joe Rogan,
is it almost lunchtime?
151
00:06:36,085 --> 00:06:37,876
'cause I smell
somebody cookin'.
152
00:06:38,751 --> 00:06:41,335
Smells like Cajun steaks
153
00:06:41,418 --> 00:06:44,710
with catfish
and fried peppers.
154
00:06:44,793 --> 00:06:45,793
Mmm!
155
00:06:45,876 --> 00:06:47,460
-Tyrone, are you okay?
-Huh?
156
00:06:47,543 --> 00:06:49,543
Y-you won,
You beat Jeff's time.
157
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:52,085
You advance to
the next round.
158
00:06:52,168 --> 00:06:53,585
My feet are strong.
159
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:02,126
[laughter and applauding]
160
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:09,043
Alright, Rita, Tyrone,
here is your final stunt.
161
00:07:10,418 --> 00:07:11,626
Each one of these platters
162
00:07:11,710 --> 00:07:14,293
contains over three pounds
of elk penis
163
00:07:14,376 --> 00:07:17,001
in a light cream
testicle sauce.
164
00:07:17,085 --> 00:07:19,418
It's topped off with
diced pig bladder.
165
00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:22,168
For dessert,
we have horse hooves.
166
00:07:22,251 --> 00:07:23,710
Whoever can
eat the most
167
00:07:23,793 --> 00:07:27,376
is gonna walk away
with $50 thousand.
168
00:07:27,460 --> 00:07:28,710
Go!
169
00:07:28,793 --> 00:07:30,585
Hurry up, girl,
I want to do my turn.
170
00:07:30,668 --> 00:07:32,001
Grab that penis.
171
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,751
Suck them juices off.
Suck it!
172
00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:35,876
That's it.
173
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,793
Mm-mmm!
Oh!
174
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:42,043
[gagging]
I can't do this.
175
00:07:42,126 --> 00:07:44,418
-Are you sure?
-Mm-hmm.
176
00:07:44,501 --> 00:07:46,668
Alright, I'm sorry,
you're eliminated.
177
00:07:46,751 --> 00:07:47,876
Alright, Ty,
it's up to you.
178
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,585
All you have to do
is eat a little bit
179
00:07:49,668 --> 00:07:51,210
-and you're the champ--
-And yadda, yadda, yadda.
180
00:07:51,793 --> 00:07:53,126
Mm-mmm!
181
00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:55,251
You know, Joe Rogan,
182
00:07:55,335 --> 00:07:59,085
This is not the first time
I've tasted penis.
183
00:07:59,168 --> 00:08:01,376
I've had several
in my line of work.
184
00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:04,085
You taste penises
all the time.
185
00:08:04,168 --> 00:08:06,085
Cocaine is
a hell of a drug.
186
00:08:06,168 --> 00:08:08,043
Tyrone,
you are our champion.
187
00:08:08,126 --> 00:08:09,418
Congratulations.
188
00:08:10,626 --> 00:08:13,460
And evidently,
fear is not a factor for you.
189
00:08:13,543 --> 00:08:15,168
Fear is never a factor,
Joe Rogan.
190
00:08:15,251 --> 00:08:17,835
I'm trying to
get some crack rocks.
191
00:08:17,918 --> 00:08:19,668
Tyree, I did it!
192
00:08:20,085 --> 00:08:21,043
I won!
193
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,043
Come down on
these penises with me.
194
00:08:23,126 --> 00:08:25,460
Hot sauce!
195
00:08:25,543 --> 00:08:28,210
There you go.
Pretend like it's mines.
196
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:38,751
Tyree, this money's gonna
change our lives forever!
197
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:45,751
Tyree, I can finally make
an honest woman out of you
198
00:08:47,168 --> 00:08:50,168
and give you that rock
you always had your eye on.
199
00:08:50,835 --> 00:08:53,751
Look, Tyree.
200
00:08:53,835 --> 00:08:57,126
Oh, Tyrone,
this'll get us high for--
201
00:08:57,210 --> 00:08:59,876
Hours, I know.
202
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:04,210
But first,
May I have this dance?
203
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:07,126
[classical music plays]
204
00:09:09,918 --> 00:09:12,793
[cheers and applause]
205
00:09:12,876 --> 00:09:14,835
Folks, we'll be
right back in a second
206
00:09:14,918 --> 00:09:15,793
to The Brady show !
207
00:09:19,168 --> 00:09:20,335
♪ Brady show ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
208
00:09:20,418 --> 00:09:22,543
♪ Brady show ♪
♪ Brady ♪
209
00:09:26,168 --> 00:09:27,210
Oh, come on, man.
210
00:09:27,293 --> 00:09:30,793
[cheers and applause on TV]
211
00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:38,085
[phone ringing]
212
00:09:38,918 --> 00:09:40,210
Hello?
213
00:09:40,043 --> 00:09:41,043
Big boi!
214
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:42,835
Uh, who's calling?
215
00:09:42,918 --> 00:09:44,335
It's Dave Chappelle, man.
216
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:46,835
[whispers]
Fuck.
217
00:09:47,585 --> 00:09:48,668
What's happening, Dave?
218
00:09:48,751 --> 00:09:50,085
Nothing, man.
219
00:09:50,168 --> 00:09:52,251
Uh, you know, I got
a bunch of free time now.
220
00:09:52,085 --> 00:09:53,335
Figure I'd call you up.
221
00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:56,001
Maybe we could get together
and hang out.
222
00:09:56,085 --> 00:09:58,085
Dave,
I'm in the operating room,
223
00:09:58,168 --> 00:09:59,960
Um, getting back surgery.
224
00:10:00,043 --> 00:10:01,876
Oh, no.
225
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,460
Where's the anesthesia?
Stop.
226
00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:07,251
Well, look,
I'm just saying,
227
00:10:07,085 --> 00:10:08,585
maybe we can get together.
228
00:10:08,668 --> 00:10:11,043
Maybe tomorrow, I'll come
and bring some soup by.
229
00:10:11,126 --> 00:10:12,418
Tomorrow
might not be good.
230
00:10:12,501 --> 00:10:14,043
Tomorrow--
I'm supposed to be hooking up
231
00:10:14,126 --> 00:10:15,585
with Don Cornelius tomorrow.
232
00:10:15,668 --> 00:10:18,085
Alright.
233
00:10:18,168 --> 00:10:20,043
Yeah,
we playing tennis, man.
234
00:10:20,126 --> 00:10:21,543
Um, well, you know,
I'm around, man.
235
00:10:21,626 --> 00:10:23,251
Just give me a call.
236
00:10:23,085 --> 00:10:24,418
We playin'
on the moon, bitch.
237
00:10:24,501 --> 00:10:26,293
Peace.
Don't call me no more.
238
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,210
What?
239
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:33,085
I got to clear my head.
240
00:10:34,543 --> 00:10:37,418
[sweet piano melody playing]
241
00:10:44,251 --> 00:10:46,293
Hey, son!
242
00:10:46,376 --> 00:10:47,418
Nick cannon?
243
00:10:47,501 --> 00:10:48,918
Oh!
244
00:10:49,001 --> 00:10:51,001
What you doing
with Nick Cannon, boy?
245
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,626
I'm living my life.
246
00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:55,085
I told you,
Nick Cannon is hilarious.
247
00:10:55,168 --> 00:10:56,960
I'm done with you, dad.
248
00:10:57,043 --> 00:11:00,251
I'm hilarious too.
Remember me?
249
00:11:00,335 --> 00:11:01,793
"I'm Rick James, bitch!"
250
00:11:01,876 --> 00:11:03,585
Remember me?
251
00:11:03,668 --> 00:11:05,960
♪ Doo-da-lit doo-da-lit,
Doo-da-lit doo ♪
252
00:11:06,043 --> 00:11:07,085
♪ Doo-da-lit
Doo-da-lit-- ♪
253
00:11:07,168 --> 00:11:08,710
That was me, baby!
254
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,835
Dave, I'm trying
to fulfill his needs.
255
00:11:10,918 --> 00:11:13,876
You know, he need
a working actor in his life.
256
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,918
Understand, man,
you done fell off.
257
00:11:16,001 --> 00:11:18,251
Shouldn't have gave up
your show, dawg.
258
00:11:18,085 --> 00:11:20,043
Still got chuck-e-cheese's,
huh, little man?
259
00:11:21,043 --> 00:11:23,168
Leave me
and my new daddy alone.
260
00:11:25,168 --> 00:11:28,168
I'm gonna
get my show back now.
261
00:11:28,251 --> 00:11:31,126
I'ma get my show back!
My show back!
262
00:11:31,210 --> 00:11:34,376
[slow motion]
My show back!
263
00:11:38,126 --> 00:11:39,418
'cause this
your show, man.
264
00:11:39,501 --> 00:11:40,876
-It's my show?
-It's your show, brother.
265
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,043
If it's my show,
Can I do this?
266
00:11:42,126 --> 00:11:42,543
-You can do--
-Whoo!
267
00:11:42,626 --> 00:11:44,501
[beat boxing]
268
00:11:45,335 --> 00:11:47,043
-Whoo!
-Brady!
269
00:11:47,126 --> 00:11:48,376
[cheers and applause]
270
00:11:48,460 --> 00:11:49,710
Thank you.
271
00:11:51,543 --> 00:11:52,960
Thank you.
272
00:11:53,043 --> 00:11:54,210
He's better looking.
273
00:11:54,293 --> 00:11:56,293
Agreed, agreed.
Handsome guy.
274
00:11:56,376 --> 00:11:57,543
And charming.
275
00:11:57,626 --> 00:11:59,293
And the other thing,
cooperative.
276
00:11:59,376 --> 00:12:01,251
I just can't believe
how funny he is.
277
00:12:01,335 --> 00:12:04,918
-Agreed.
-Couldn't be funnier.
278
00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:07,168
And it's not so much
the shock anymore
279
00:12:07,251 --> 00:12:09,710
because the shock
is really your body's way
280
00:12:09,793 --> 00:12:12,251
of cushioning your mind against
the whole horrid experience.
281
00:12:12,085 --> 00:12:13,793
It's not what you think, Dave.
282
00:12:13,876 --> 00:12:17,126
Dave, it's not what you--
They gave me--
283
00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:18,960
She is a great critic.
284
00:12:19,043 --> 00:12:21,126
Let's have a round of applause
for my mom, right?
285
00:12:21,210 --> 00:12:23,335
[applause]
286
00:12:23,418 --> 00:12:24,585
Huh?
287
00:12:24,668 --> 00:12:26,293
Yeah.
288
00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:28,793
Whoo!
289
00:12:28,876 --> 00:12:30,168
[cheers and applause]
290
00:12:30,251 --> 00:12:32,085
Right, right,
right, right.
291
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,668
No, no, no, no, no, no!
292
00:12:34,751 --> 00:12:37,210
[laughing]
293
00:12:37,293 --> 00:12:40,168
You guys are too kind.
You guys are too kind.
294
00:12:40,251 --> 00:12:41,835
Ha, ha, ha!
295
00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:45,376
Oh, fuck y'all!
296
00:12:47,001 --> 00:12:47,835
It's good
to see you, Dave.
297
00:12:47,918 --> 00:12:49,043
What's--what's up, Wayne?
298
00:12:49,126 --> 00:12:50,251
What's up, brother?
299
00:12:51,626 --> 00:12:53,168
I want my show back.
300
00:12:53,251 --> 00:12:54,168
Oh.
301
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:55,585
Give me my show back now.
302
00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:58,251
Just give it back!
303
00:12:58,085 --> 00:12:59,085
Come on, man!
304
00:12:59,168 --> 00:13:00,460
Okay, wait,
you know what?
305
00:13:00,543 --> 00:13:02,335
Look, Wayne--
What?
306
00:13:02,418 --> 00:13:04,585
Why don't we host it
together?
307
00:13:04,668 --> 00:13:06,668
Nah, son.
308
00:13:06,751 --> 00:13:08,710
No, man,
it can't be together, man,
309
00:13:08,793 --> 00:13:10,751
'cause you do different
things than I do.
310
00:13:10,835 --> 00:13:13,043
The way you do it
ain't like the way I do it.
311
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,085
You've got your thing,
I got my thing.
312
00:13:15,168 --> 00:13:16,793
I'm trying to do my thing!
313
00:13:16,876 --> 00:13:19,126
Come on, Wayne,
you know what I'm talkin' about!
314
00:13:19,210 --> 00:13:21,335
No, actually I don't know
what you're talkin' about.
315
00:13:21,418 --> 00:13:23,251
I--What's my thing, Dave?
316
00:13:23,085 --> 00:13:25,793
Oh, like, remember that time
we was hanging out?
317
00:13:25,876 --> 00:13:27,460
Remember that
a few months back?
318
00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:33,585
Dave,
I got to tell you, man,
319
00:13:33,668 --> 00:13:35,210
I'm really happy
to be hanging out with you.
320
00:13:35,043 --> 00:13:36,335
This is nice.
321
00:13:36,418 --> 00:13:37,751
Oh, man,
it's just been great, man.
322
00:13:37,835 --> 00:13:38,876
Well, same here, man.
323
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,085
You busy with your show.
I got my stuff.
324
00:13:40,168 --> 00:13:41,085
This is really cool.
325
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,043
Yeah, man, you see,
that's the thing
326
00:13:42,126 --> 00:13:43,501
with black actors, man.
327
00:13:43,585 --> 00:13:45,960
We need to just unify.
We can't just be out like--
328
00:13:46,043 --> 00:13:46,876
Exactly.
329
00:13:48,585 --> 00:13:50,835
Hey, hold up, Wayne,
I think you passed our turn.
330
00:13:50,918 --> 00:13:52,210
The restaurant's
back that way.
331
00:13:52,043 --> 00:13:53,376
Nah, that's alright.
332
00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:55,210
Relax.
333
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,168
What, you going
to get some weed?
334
00:13:57,251 --> 00:13:58,418
[laughs] No.
335
00:13:58,501 --> 00:14:00,626
You gonna get some weed,
holla at your boy.
336
00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:02,126
I know the spot.
337
00:14:02,210 --> 00:14:03,960
-Hold on.
-Alright.
338
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:05,793
There he is.
339
00:14:05,876 --> 00:14:07,293
Break yourself, fool!
340
00:14:07,376 --> 00:14:09,543
Aww, shit,
it's Wayne Brady, son!
341
00:14:09,626 --> 00:14:10,543
[gunfire]
342
00:14:10,626 --> 00:14:12,001
Oh, shit!
343
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:14,001
Oh, shit!
344
00:14:14,085 --> 00:14:15,710
What the fuck you doing?
345
00:14:15,793 --> 00:14:17,960
Riverside, motherfucker!
346
00:14:18,043 --> 00:14:19,918
Goddamn!
347
00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:21,751
[cackles]
348
00:14:21,835 --> 00:14:23,251
What the fuck
are you doing?
349
00:14:23,085 --> 00:14:24,293
Dave, calm down.
350
00:14:24,376 --> 00:14:25,668
What you mean, calm down?
You just--
351
00:14:25,751 --> 00:14:27,043
-Dave, relax.
-You just shot people, Wayne!
352
00:14:27,126 --> 00:14:28,918
-Dave, Dave.
-Those were people you shot!
353
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,668
Goddamn, man, you got
a daytime Emmy, nigger.
354
00:14:30,751 --> 00:14:33,001
You ain't supposed to be
doin' shit like this.
355
00:14:33,085 --> 00:14:34,085
Dave, you making me nervous.
356
00:14:34,168 --> 00:14:36,501
You making me think
that you gonna snitch.
357
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,085
Now, you're not gonna
snitch, right?
358
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,585
No, man, come on, now,
I ain't no snitch.
359
00:14:39,668 --> 00:14:41,043
Now, you sure
you're not gonna snitch?
360
00:14:41,126 --> 00:14:42,126
It's me, nigger,
it's Dave, baby.
361
00:14:42,210 --> 00:14:43,918
Motherfucker,
you gonna snitch on me?
362
00:14:44,001 --> 00:14:45,626
Yo, nigger, come on.
it's me, it's Dave.
363
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,418
We black actors, man,
we got to stick together.
364
00:14:47,501 --> 00:14:49,043
We black actors.
I ain't gonna snitch on you.
365
00:14:51,085 --> 00:14:52,168
Come on, it's me, baby.
It's Dave.
366
00:14:52,251 --> 00:14:55,043
It's Dave Chappelle.
It's your boy.
367
00:14:55,126 --> 00:14:56,210
Okay. Sorry, man.
368
00:15:01,210 --> 00:15:02,835
I got to get some money, man.
369
00:15:02,918 --> 00:15:05,293
I got to go to the ATM.
I don't have no money.
370
00:15:05,376 --> 00:15:06,418
I'll get some money.
371
00:15:11,251 --> 00:15:13,668
Alright, right here.
372
00:15:15,793 --> 00:15:17,251
Where's the ATM at?
373
00:15:17,335 --> 00:15:19,210
We at it.
374
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,335
Hey!
375
00:15:20,418 --> 00:15:23,626
[Car horn plays "La Cucaracha"]
376
00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:25,960
Hey, daddy.
377
00:15:26,043 --> 00:15:27,043
Hoes, Dave.
378
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:28,501
Dave, hoes.
379
00:15:28,585 --> 00:15:30,543
Good evening, bitches.
380
00:15:30,626 --> 00:15:32,085
We did good tonight.
381
00:15:32,168 --> 00:15:33,543
That's what I like to hear.
382
00:15:33,626 --> 00:15:34,876
That's--
Oh, that's nice.
383
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,543
Hey, baby!
384
00:15:36,626 --> 00:15:38,501
Thank you.
385
00:15:38,585 --> 00:15:40,293
Alright,
more power to me.
386
00:15:40,376 --> 00:15:42,876
[laughs]
Alright, thank you, baby.
387
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:46,251
Oh--oh, Raquel,
What's this?
388
00:15:46,085 --> 00:15:48,001
Mr. Franklin's lonely.
389
00:15:48,085 --> 00:15:49,085
He's--
There's only--
390
00:15:49,168 --> 00:15:50,626
Sorry, daddy.
391
00:15:50,710 --> 00:15:52,668
What do you mean,
"Sorry, daddy?"
392
00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:54,251
What the hell did--
393
00:15:54,335 --> 00:15:57,085
Is Wayne Brady
gonna have to choke a bitch?
394
00:15:58,751 --> 00:16:02,085
I'm gonna have to get out
of this car and choke--
395
00:16:02,168 --> 00:16:05,043
I'm not violent.
I try not to be.
396
00:16:05,126 --> 00:16:06,168
I'm a--
You know what?
397
00:16:06,251 --> 00:16:07,626
Wayne, come on, man.
Come on, Wayne.
398
00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:09,168
No, no, no, I'm gonna
Get outta this car right now.
399
00:16:09,251 --> 00:16:10,668
Come on, will you please--
Please, man?
400
00:16:10,751 --> 00:16:13,293
Come on, just--
Just let it slide.
401
00:16:13,376 --> 00:16:15,501
[exhales]
402
00:16:15,585 --> 00:16:17,460
You better thank
Dave Chappelle.
403
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:18,793
Go ahead.
404
00:16:18,876 --> 00:16:20,126
Thank you, Dave,
and I like your show.
405
00:16:20,210 --> 00:16:21,751
Run, bitch!
Run for your life!
406
00:16:21,835 --> 00:16:22,626
Get some help!
407
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:26,751
I'm just playing around.
You know.
408
00:16:32,126 --> 00:16:33,918
There you go.
Pay me back whenever.
409
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,376
I...
410
00:16:37,251 --> 00:16:39,210
I can't take this money, man.
411
00:16:39,043 --> 00:16:41,251
-This money ain't clean, man.
-Dave, relax.
412
00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:43,585
No, man, I can't relax.
I don't want this money.
413
00:16:43,668 --> 00:16:45,210
Dave, you are too uptight.
414
00:16:45,043 --> 00:16:46,585
You know what?
Here, smoke this.
415
00:16:46,668 --> 00:16:47,585
Nah, I'm cool, man.
416
00:16:47,668 --> 00:16:48,668
No, no, smoke this.
417
00:16:48,751 --> 00:16:49,876
Take it, come on, smoke it.
418
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,043
I don't want to smoke--
419
00:16:51,126 --> 00:16:52,626
This is not
an option, nigger.
420
00:16:52,710 --> 00:16:55,960
If you do not smoke this,
we have a problem.
421
00:16:58,376 --> 00:17:00,126
Ain't no damn
after-school special.
422
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:01,626
Smoke it.
423
00:17:04,668 --> 00:17:05,835
[coughs]
424
00:17:05,918 --> 00:17:08,251
[laughs]
425
00:17:08,335 --> 00:17:10,876
Dave, I didn't know
that you liked to get wet.
426
00:17:11,626 --> 00:17:12,710
What do you mean, "wet"?
427
00:17:12,793 --> 00:17:15,210
[laughs]
428
00:17:15,293 --> 00:17:19,626
Yeah, brother,
that's PCP, Angel Dust,
429
00:17:19,710 --> 00:17:23,126
Sherman Hemsley,
Love Boat,
430
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,460
Ashy Larry...
431
00:17:25,543 --> 00:17:28,126
White people
love Wayne Brady
432
00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:32,085
because he makes Bryant Gumbel
433
00:17:32,168 --> 00:17:33,668
look like Malcolm X.
434
00:17:35,168 --> 00:17:37,835
[distorted speech]
435
00:17:43,251 --> 00:17:46,293
[police sirens]
436
00:17:47,168 --> 00:17:48,043
Where are we?
437
00:17:48,126 --> 00:17:49,710
We got company.
438
00:17:49,793 --> 00:17:51,585
Just let me do
all the talking, okay?
439
00:17:53,126 --> 00:17:54,126
Good evening!
440
00:17:54,210 --> 00:17:56,001
Good evening, officer.
May I help you?
441
00:17:56,085 --> 00:17:57,251
[no audio]
-Yeah.
442
00:17:57,085 --> 00:17:59,085
Can you step out
of the car, please?
443
00:17:59,168 --> 00:18:00,668
Not a word.
444
00:18:00,751 --> 00:18:02,835
[chuckling] Coming.
445
00:18:07,876 --> 00:18:08,876
Can I see your license?
446
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:09,960
Absolutely.
447
00:18:17,168 --> 00:18:18,835
Holy cow! [laughs]
448
00:18:18,918 --> 00:18:20,376
You're Wayne Brady.
449
00:18:20,460 --> 00:18:22,585
[laughs]
Guilty as charged.
450
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:24,793
My mother-in-law loves you.
451
00:18:24,876 --> 00:18:28,210
Well, thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
452
00:18:28,043 --> 00:18:30,460
♪ The morning I wake up ♪
453
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:31,460
[chuckling]
454
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:34,501
♪ And I put on my makeup ♪
455
00:18:34,585 --> 00:18:37,043
♪ I say a little prayer
For you ♪
456
00:18:37,126 --> 00:18:39,210
♪ Ooh,
Together, together ♪
457
00:18:39,293 --> 00:18:42,626
♪ You'll be in my heart,
And I will always love you ♪
458
00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:45,168
She is not gonna believe
that this happened.
459
00:18:45,251 --> 00:18:47,251
That's 'cause she is never
gonna know about it, bitch.
460
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,251
What?
461
00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:49,168
[snap]
462
00:18:51,293 --> 00:18:53,168
Thank you. Good night!
463
00:18:56,251 --> 00:18:57,835
What the fuck?
464
00:18:57,918 --> 00:18:59,960
What the fuck, man?
465
00:19:02,501 --> 00:19:04,876
It's not my thing, man.
It's not my thing.
466
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,501
I'm sorry.
467
00:19:06,585 --> 00:19:08,043
Well, actually, I'm not sorry.
468
00:19:08,126 --> 00:19:09,710
[laughs]
469
00:19:09,793 --> 00:19:12,543
I don't give a fuck.
470
00:19:12,626 --> 00:19:15,835
They cancel my show,
and shit goes crazy!
471
00:19:15,918 --> 00:19:18,043
I just want to go home
and see my family, man.
472
00:19:18,126 --> 00:19:20,418
I just want to go home
and see my family.
473
00:19:20,501 --> 00:19:22,001
Dave.
474
00:19:22,085 --> 00:19:23,293
-You hungry?
-I'm not hungry.
475
00:19:23,376 --> 00:19:24,543
Come on, you hungry?
476
00:19:24,626 --> 00:19:25,793
You want a sandwich?
477
00:19:25,876 --> 00:19:29,168
[sobbing]
I just want to go home.
478
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:32,543
Eat your sandwich,
Dave.
479
00:19:32,626 --> 00:19:35,126
Give me your sandwich.
480
00:19:35,210 --> 00:19:37,210
[sniffling]
481
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:40,210
I said, give me
your damn sandwich.
482
00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:44,960
I make Bryant Gumbel look like
Malcolm X, huh, motherfucker?
483
00:19:45,043 --> 00:19:47,251
[muttering]
I didn't say that.
484
00:19:50,710 --> 00:19:52,168
This is me.
485
00:19:52,251 --> 00:19:54,501
Whatever. Get out.
486
00:19:54,585 --> 00:19:56,293
[laughing]
487
00:19:58,418 --> 00:19:59,710
-Hey, Dave.
-Huh?
488
00:19:59,793 --> 00:20:01,543
Man, really,
I had a great time tonight.
489
00:20:01,626 --> 00:20:03,501
Thank you.
490
00:20:03,585 --> 00:20:04,876
Black actors, man.
491
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,085
Black actors.
492
00:20:06,168 --> 00:20:07,085
-Alright.
-Alright.
493
00:20:07,168 --> 00:20:08,376
Oh, Dave?
494
00:20:08,460 --> 00:20:10,168
Yeah?
495
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:12,751
Aah!
496
00:20:12,835 --> 00:20:15,543
[laughing]
I'm Wayne Brady, bitch!
497
00:20:17,418 --> 00:20:20,210
It was Mooney!
498
00:20:20,043 --> 00:20:23,126
[cheers and applause]
499
00:20:27,168 --> 00:20:29,043
We're gonna take
a quick commercial break.
500
00:20:29,126 --> 00:20:30,418
Yeah.
501
00:20:30,501 --> 00:20:32,168
We'll be right back
with more Chappelle Show
502
00:20:32,251 --> 00:20:34,085
right after this.
503
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:36,335
Ahh!
504
00:20:37,376 --> 00:20:40,126
♪ The greatest show ♪
505
00:20:40,210 --> 00:20:43,251
[cheers and applause]
506
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,543
I'd like to thank you all
for being here.
507
00:20:46,626 --> 00:20:49,168
I'd like to thank
my guest, Wayne Brady.
508
00:20:49,251 --> 00:20:50,585
Thank you, sir.
I'd like to thank
509
00:20:50,668 --> 00:20:52,085
the greatest audience
in the world.
510
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:53,793
I'm out!
511
00:20:54,710 --> 00:20:55,960
Take your show back.
512
00:20:57,210 --> 00:20:59,085
I'm rich, bitch!
513
00:20:59,168 --> 00:20:59,960
[horn honking]
514
00:21:00,043 --> 00:21:00,918
Hi, thank you!
515
00:21:01,751 --> 00:21:02,918
Paul Mooney did that thing--
516
00:21:03,001 --> 00:21:05,460
That thing about white people
and Bryant Gumbel.
517
00:21:05,543 --> 00:21:08,043
Next thing I know,
this man calls me--
518
00:21:08,126 --> 00:21:10,126
No one calls each other
in show business
519
00:21:10,210 --> 00:21:11,376
because they're
all too arrogant.
520
00:21:11,460 --> 00:21:13,251
He calls me--
"Wayne."
521
00:21:13,085 --> 00:21:15,210
"Hey, man."
522
00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:18,501
Not like he was scared,
523
00:21:18,585 --> 00:21:20,668
but he called me and said,
"Hey, you know what?
524
00:21:20,751 --> 00:21:22,543
"I really respect you,
And I would love for you
525
00:21:22,626 --> 00:21:23,876
to come out and do the show."
526
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,168
I canceled three of my shows
to come and do this
527
00:21:26,251 --> 00:21:27,918
because that meant so much.
528
00:21:28,001 --> 00:21:29,335
[cheers and applause]