1 00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:02,835 ♪ Chappelle's show ♪ ♪ Chappelle's show ♪ 2 00:00:02,918 --> 00:00:04,210 ♪ Oww ♪ 3 00:00:05,418 --> 00:00:07,168 ♪ Woo-hoo-hoo ♪ 4 00:00:07,251 --> 00:00:08,418 ♪ Woo-hoo ♪ 5 00:00:08,501 --> 00:00:10,710 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 6 00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:12,210 [cheers and applause] 7 00:00:12,293 --> 00:00:14,126 [man] Ladies and gentlemen, 8 00:00:14,210 --> 00:00:18,001 Dave Chappelle! 9 00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:19,876 [applause] 10 00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:21,335 Thank you all. 11 00:00:23,126 --> 00:00:24,418 Thank you, folks. 12 00:00:24,501 --> 00:00:27,501 Tonight you tuned in on a very special night. 13 00:00:27,585 --> 00:00:30,543 You know, now that the show is becoming successful, 14 00:00:30,626 --> 00:00:32,876 people are writing about it in the papers, 15 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,585 the only thing more spectacular than our success 16 00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:37,501 is our failures. 17 00:00:37,585 --> 00:00:40,418 Tonight I will show you some of the craziest things 18 00:00:40,501 --> 00:00:43,876 we have tried to get away with and didn't succeed. 19 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,293 [laughing] [Dave chuckles] 20 00:00:46,376 --> 00:00:48,251 These are all sketches we actually went out, 21 00:00:48,335 --> 00:00:50,501 we shot the sketches-- I didn't make this idea up. 22 00:00:50,585 --> 00:00:52,293 This is a crazy, uh... 23 00:00:52,376 --> 00:00:54,793 Well, you'll see as we go along. 24 00:00:54,876 --> 00:00:56,543 But this is the good thing about black people. 25 00:00:56,626 --> 00:01:01,376 We are just the best at taking lemons and making lemonade. 26 00:01:01,460 --> 00:01:04,001 This is a skill that black people have been endowed. 27 00:01:04,085 --> 00:01:05,626 They gave us the worst part of pigs, 28 00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:07,126 we said we're gonna call 'em chitlins, 29 00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:08,418 put some hot sauce on the nigga, 30 00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:10,251 and we will like 'em, we will like them! 31 00:01:10,085 --> 00:01:11,418 We'll eat the snout, if we have to. 32 00:01:11,501 --> 00:01:12,960 If we have to, I will eat the snout. 33 00:01:14,043 --> 00:01:15,460 Tonight we are gonna eat all snout. 34 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,668 This whole episode is just straight up snout. 35 00:01:18,751 --> 00:01:21,876 [audience laughing] 36 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:24,293 [Dave chuckles] 37 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:27,418 Now this first sketch 38 00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:30,001 had our first celebrity cameo 39 00:01:30,085 --> 00:01:32,043 The Chappelle Show ever had that nobody ever saw. 40 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,293 It was a very good cameo. 41 00:01:33,376 --> 00:01:35,001 Why don't you show 'em the beginning. 42 00:01:35,085 --> 00:01:36,668 [applause] 43 00:01:36,751 --> 00:01:37,793 Welcome back. 44 00:01:37,876 --> 00:01:39,751 Today, of course, we are dealing with kids 45 00:01:39,835 --> 00:01:42,210 who are b-a-d, bad. 46 00:01:42,293 --> 00:01:43,585 Do you see, Sally? 47 00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:46,043 This is what I have to deal with. 48 00:01:46,126 --> 00:01:49,751 Ronald is just out of control. So trifling. 49 00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:51,918 Aw, ma, shut up. 50 00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:53,585 [farts] 51 00:01:53,668 --> 00:01:56,085 Alright, it's time to straighten you up. 52 00:01:56,168 --> 00:01:58,501 Guess where you are going. 53 00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:00,001 Boot camp. 54 00:02:00,085 --> 00:02:02,168 Yeah, boot camp. That's right. 55 00:02:02,251 --> 00:02:06,376 With the hardest CO you have ever met. 56 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:11,501 This is where the sketch goes completely wrong. 57 00:02:11,585 --> 00:02:14,710 That's right, Nelson Mandela. 58 00:02:14,793 --> 00:02:17,626 [whistle blowing] 59 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:26,043 Alright, children, shut your mouth. 60 00:02:26,126 --> 00:02:27,168 All of you kids disgust me. 61 00:02:29,501 --> 00:02:31,793 Notice how shitty the wig is. 62 00:02:33,251 --> 00:02:35,626 Not only do I not look anything like Nelson Mandela, 63 00:02:35,710 --> 00:02:38,168 but the sketch just gets progressively crazier. 64 00:02:38,251 --> 00:02:41,668 Mandela proceeds to just beat the hell out of these kids 65 00:02:41,751 --> 00:02:44,960 for the next, like, eight to nine minutes, alright? 66 00:02:45,043 --> 00:02:47,168 He's just berating 'em and beating 'em. 67 00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:49,876 Here, just show them some of the beat-downs. 68 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,126 This is the full Nelson. Bitch, it's a pun. 69 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:58,126 You. Cry "Freedom." 70 00:02:58,210 --> 00:03:00,626 Cry "The Beloved Country." 71 00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:02,210 If I wanted to be mean, 72 00:03:02,293 --> 00:03:05,460 I would tell this kid how fat he is, huh? 73 00:03:05,543 --> 00:03:08,251 I would tell him that I would squeeze his breasts together 74 00:03:08,335 --> 00:03:12,293 and make love to his bosom, if I wanted to. 75 00:03:12,376 --> 00:03:13,960 Pretty bad, huh? 76 00:03:15,001 --> 00:03:17,376 Well, it gets weirder than that. 77 00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:20,043 Do you think Mandela doesn't know what this is? 78 00:03:20,126 --> 00:03:22,418 Do you think Mandela doesn't know 79 00:03:22,501 --> 00:03:24,251 what's popping on the streets? 80 00:03:24,335 --> 00:03:27,126 [All] ♪ In the jungle The mighty jungle ♪ 81 00:03:27,210 --> 00:03:29,251 Yo, I'm not sure, 82 00:03:29,085 --> 00:03:31,710 but I think Mr. Mandela smoked my drugs. 83 00:03:31,793 --> 00:03:35,960 [All] ♪ A-whee ♪ 84 00:03:36,043 --> 00:03:39,960 ♪ Whee-o-whee-o Whee-o-wumbawe ♪ 85 00:03:40,043 --> 00:03:43,710 ♪ A-whee ♪ 86 00:03:43,793 --> 00:03:46,710 ♪ Whee-o-whee-o Whee-o-wumbawe ♪ 87 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:50,085 [cheers and applause] 88 00:03:50,168 --> 00:03:51,418 Pretty bad, huh? 89 00:03:53,293 --> 00:03:55,126 Alright, now here's another stinker. 90 00:03:56,376 --> 00:03:57,751 This one 91 00:03:57,835 --> 00:04:01,751 was supposed to be like The Def Poetry Jam . 92 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,043 [chuckles] 93 00:04:05,126 --> 00:04:06,085 It was called-- 94 00:04:06,168 --> 00:04:07,751 It was a funny premise-- It was called 95 00:04:07,835 --> 00:04:09,293 The Def Comedy Poetry Jam, 96 00:04:09,376 --> 00:04:12,210 where we basically have people I knew from Def Comedy Jam 97 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:15,001 come and do, like, the corniest joke premises 98 00:04:15,585 --> 00:04:17,085 in poetry style. 99 00:04:18,210 --> 00:04:20,626 It's kind of hard to explain, but it was funny. 100 00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:22,585 Like, Mos Def came out, act a fool. 101 00:04:22,668 --> 00:04:24,251 Go ahead and show them the beginning. 102 00:04:24,335 --> 00:04:26,960 [screaming] 103 00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:30,168 Are you ready for some poetry, motherfuckers? 104 00:04:30,251 --> 00:04:31,168 Uh! 105 00:04:31,251 --> 00:04:34,585 Mm, mm, uh! 106 00:04:36,835 --> 00:04:40,376 Alright, so then Shucky Ducky comes out 107 00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:43,001 and Hamburg and all these guys come out 108 00:04:43,085 --> 00:04:44,293 and do Hacky black poems. 109 00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:46,793 And I even did one myself, which is pretty hilarious, 110 00:04:46,876 --> 00:04:48,043 I'll show it to you in its entirety. 111 00:04:48,126 --> 00:04:49,335 Here's the one I did. 112 00:04:50,126 --> 00:04:52,960 [drumming] 113 00:05:01,585 --> 00:05:05,126 White people do this. 114 00:05:05,210 --> 00:05:08,960 Black people-- black people do that. 115 00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:11,751 [audience laughing] 116 00:05:11,835 --> 00:05:15,126 When White people's power goes off they panic. 117 00:05:16,876 --> 00:05:20,251 When black people's power goes off they plan it. 118 00:05:23,001 --> 00:05:24,501 We'll take a quick commercial break, 119 00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:26,585 but don't go anywhere. 120 00:05:26,668 --> 00:05:29,168 We have more of our greatest misses coming up. 121 00:05:32,835 --> 00:05:34,001 Whoo. 122 00:05:34,085 --> 00:05:35,376 Hey, gang, welcome back. 123 00:05:36,751 --> 00:05:39,585 Now, let's see, how can I describe this sketch? 124 00:05:39,668 --> 00:05:40,710 It was a Frontline piece, 125 00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:43,168 much like we did the Clayton Bigsby piece, 126 00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:47,585 we wrote this one when they had opened the first public school 127 00:05:47,668 --> 00:05:49,460 for all-gay students, 128 00:05:49,543 --> 00:05:52,001 and we were like, okay, America's freaking out now, 129 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,210 like, about the gay thing, like, 130 00:05:54,043 --> 00:05:55,626 so we thought what if it was, like, 131 00:05:55,710 --> 00:05:58,126 so segregated that there became two Americas. 132 00:05:58,210 --> 00:06:00,001 It was a Gay America and a Straight America. 133 00:06:00,085 --> 00:06:04,376 And that was the premise of the sketch. 134 00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,751 Cities like San Francisco 135 00:06:06,835 --> 00:06:09,085 even offer special municipal services, 136 00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:11,668 like this gay department of motor vehicles. 137 00:06:11,751 --> 00:06:14,835 Honey, with those cheekbones, you're a natural! 138 00:06:14,918 --> 00:06:16,126 Now, just stand there. That's right. 139 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,293 Put your head back a little bit. 140 00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:18,960 Let's get that great big smile. 141 00:06:19,043 --> 00:06:19,876 Let's see those pearly whites. 142 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,043 Hold it, hold it. 143 00:06:21,126 --> 00:06:22,251 [camera shutter clicking] 144 00:06:22,335 --> 00:06:25,085 Congratulations. Your license plate is so ready. 145 00:06:25,168 --> 00:06:30,001 [audience laughing] 146 00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:32,793 [chuckles] 147 00:06:32,876 --> 00:06:33,793 It was funny. 148 00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:35,418 I mean, we were just messing around. 149 00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:39,001 You know, just having fun. 150 00:06:39,085 --> 00:06:40,085 Right. 151 00:06:40,168 --> 00:06:41,960 But it gets worse, like, we keep going on like this. 152 00:06:42,043 --> 00:06:43,126 Okay, so there's a gay DMV, 153 00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:45,418 what else can we just make, like, a gay version of? 154 00:06:45,501 --> 00:06:46,710 And then we just went to town with, like, 155 00:06:46,793 --> 00:06:48,168 the gay versions of things. 156 00:06:48,251 --> 00:06:49,543 For instance... 157 00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,668 Every aspect of American life 158 00:06:51,751 --> 00:06:53,501 is being affected by the culture. 159 00:06:54,251 --> 00:06:56,043 There are gay butchers. 160 00:06:56,126 --> 00:06:57,876 Gay landscapers. 161 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,376 ♪ Ass, titties, Ass and titties ♪ 162 00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:03,043 ♪ Ass, ass, Titties, titties ♪ 163 00:07:03,126 --> 00:07:04,960 [chuckles] 164 00:07:05,043 --> 00:07:07,210 Just for fun, can we see that guy again? 165 00:07:07,043 --> 00:07:08,793 That shit was very funny to me. 166 00:07:08,876 --> 00:07:11,835 ♪ Ass, titties, Ass and titties ♪ 167 00:07:11,918 --> 00:07:14,251 ♪ Ass ass, Titties, titties-- ♪ 168 00:07:14,335 --> 00:07:16,751 Here's where we start spinning out of control. 169 00:07:16,835 --> 00:07:19,543 Alright, this next one was offensive, 170 00:07:19,626 --> 00:07:22,335 not only to gay people but black people. 171 00:07:22,418 --> 00:07:24,168 And if you're a gay black person 172 00:07:24,251 --> 00:07:26,001 then you'll get doubly mad, 173 00:07:26,085 --> 00:07:27,835 but it was all in the spirit of fun. 174 00:07:27,918 --> 00:07:30,126 I thought-- I still think it's funny. 175 00:07:30,210 --> 00:07:31,751 Alright, go ahead and show the clip. 176 00:07:31,835 --> 00:07:34,751 Here in Hartsfield, Alabama, amazingly, 177 00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:38,751 they have started a gay chapter of the Ku Klux Klan. 178 00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:42,460 Oh, it's hot like the dickens. 179 00:07:42,543 --> 00:07:44,168 As I was saying at brunch, 180 00:07:44,251 --> 00:07:46,418 and we hate, too, okay? 181 00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:49,960 But we do it a special way. We do it with compassion. 182 00:07:50,043 --> 00:07:53,543 Good morning, I'm with the K.K.K. 183 00:07:53,626 --> 00:07:55,585 We had a meeting and we were talking 184 00:07:55,668 --> 00:07:57,668 and we'd be more comfortable 185 00:07:57,751 --> 00:07:59,626 if you guys left the neighborhood. 186 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,543 Have you considered going back to Africa? 187 00:08:07,043 --> 00:08:08,126 Alright. 188 00:08:08,210 --> 00:08:11,960 Now, this next piece was the piece that started 189 00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:14,251 the whole she-bang-a-bang. 190 00:08:14,085 --> 00:08:15,710 This was the first premise that led 191 00:08:15,793 --> 00:08:17,293 to this Gay America sketch. 192 00:08:17,376 --> 00:08:19,585 This actually was Charlie Murphy's idea. 193 00:08:19,668 --> 00:08:22,793 He called and was like "I got this funny idea 194 00:08:22,876 --> 00:08:24,210 for a sketch, man." 195 00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:29,126 And he told me, he told Neal, and we just ran with it. 196 00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:31,293 This is the most splendiferous, 197 00:08:31,376 --> 00:08:36,043 spectacious monumental event in the history of the world. 198 00:08:36,126 --> 00:08:40,168 Professional boxing with all-gay fighters. 199 00:08:40,251 --> 00:08:43,251 I call it "Friday Night Sissy Fights" 200 00:08:43,335 --> 00:08:45,126 and it's on none other than HBO. 201 00:08:45,668 --> 00:08:46,585 On my right, 202 00:08:46,668 --> 00:08:48,710 "The Bathhouse Brawler", 203 00:08:48,793 --> 00:08:52,668 none other than sweet puss Rogers. 204 00:08:52,751 --> 00:08:54,001 Look at that footwork. 205 00:08:54,876 --> 00:08:56,668 His dad was a schoolgirl. 206 00:08:56,751 --> 00:08:57,960 Man, he's gay. 207 00:08:58,043 --> 00:09:02,168 And to my left, "The Tyrannical Tea-Bagger" 208 00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:05,835 none other than Reggie Blazer. 209 00:09:05,918 --> 00:09:09,210 He's weighing himself in as we speak. 210 00:09:09,293 --> 00:09:12,960 Uh-uh, uh-uh, this scale is broke. 211 00:09:13,043 --> 00:09:16,210 Cheetah, didn't I tell you to fix this scale. 212 00:09:16,043 --> 00:09:17,085 And what you looking at 213 00:09:17,168 --> 00:09:18,335 with your ashy-ass lips? 214 00:09:18,418 --> 00:09:20,210 Whatever, fat-ass. 215 00:09:20,043 --> 00:09:21,376 I love it! 216 00:09:24,835 --> 00:09:26,876 [squeals] 217 00:09:29,085 --> 00:09:31,501 On that note, we're actually gonna take a commercial break, 218 00:09:31,585 --> 00:09:32,918 but don't go nowhere. 219 00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:35,210 We'll be right back with more of our greatest misses. 220 00:09:38,835 --> 00:09:40,043 Man, I'm bored 221 00:09:40,126 --> 00:09:42,918 I got to go to The Chappelle Show. 222 00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:47,210 Alright, welcome back, welcome back. 223 00:09:48,251 --> 00:09:49,293 Alright. 224 00:09:50,751 --> 00:09:55,168 This next one might be my favorite failure of all time. 225 00:09:55,251 --> 00:09:57,876 Now, last season we did this sketch called 226 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,918 "The player hater's ball." 227 00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:01,793 Wasn't our most popular sketch, 228 00:10:01,876 --> 00:10:03,626 but it was just one of my favorites. 229 00:10:03,710 --> 00:10:04,793 It was just very silly. 230 00:10:04,876 --> 00:10:06,168 So we said let's bring 'em back, 231 00:10:06,251 --> 00:10:07,876 but let's try to do something different. 232 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,126 Up the ante a little bit. 233 00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:11,918 So it starts out that the player haters 234 00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:15,085 are having a science fair. 235 00:10:15,168 --> 00:10:17,710 Alright, go ahead, go ahead. 236 00:10:17,793 --> 00:10:21,085 Furthermore, my wave machine can create enough energy 237 00:10:21,168 --> 00:10:24,251 to power most medium-sized homes with ease. 238 00:10:24,335 --> 00:10:26,835 Thank you, bitches. 239 00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:28,210 When you said wave machine, 240 00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:30,126 I thought you was talking about something that could 241 00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:32,168 repair that catastrophe you call a hairstyle. 242 00:10:32,251 --> 00:10:34,501 Buck Nasty, you are so dark 243 00:10:34,585 --> 00:10:38,126 when you touch yourself, it's like black-on-black crime. 244 00:10:40,126 --> 00:10:42,001 Ah. 245 00:10:44,168 --> 00:10:46,876 Right, so, so far so good. 246 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,626 It has all the elements of the old sketch that we loved. 247 00:10:49,710 --> 00:10:52,251 There's Jheri Curl juice snapping, going back and forth. 248 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,335 Alright, here's where it starts getting a little weird. 249 00:10:55,418 --> 00:10:57,251 [gong ringing] -Attention. 250 00:10:58,085 --> 00:11:01,876 I brought to you, bitches, 251 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,168 my great invention yet. 252 00:11:04,251 --> 00:11:07,168 The time machine. 253 00:11:07,251 --> 00:11:10,210 [gong ringing] 254 00:11:11,543 --> 00:11:15,626 -So now the premise is that they travel through time 255 00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:18,835 and hate on people. 256 00:11:18,918 --> 00:11:21,751 Now, that's-- that's not a bad premise, 257 00:11:21,835 --> 00:11:23,251 but somehow 258 00:11:23,085 --> 00:11:25,376 it just didn't come together right. 259 00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:26,710 Let's see what happens. 260 00:11:26,793 --> 00:11:29,043 First, they go back and I think they fuck up Hitler. 261 00:11:30,085 --> 00:11:34,376 [slow distorted voices] 262 00:11:46,876 --> 00:11:50,668 Hitler momma got one big titty and one little titty, 263 00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,710 and they call the bitch Biggie Smalls. 264 00:11:55,001 --> 00:11:56,876 Alright, so the crowd's still kind of with us. 265 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,543 And now we take 'em to the 1840s. 266 00:11:59,626 --> 00:12:01,543 Let's see how that hate works out. 267 00:12:01,626 --> 00:12:03,793 Good God! 268 00:12:03,876 --> 00:12:06,293 Incarcerated African-Americans. 269 00:12:06,376 --> 00:12:08,460 Slavery, if you will. 270 00:12:08,543 --> 00:12:10,335 These men here 271 00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:13,793 work for the minimumest of wages, 272 00:12:13,876 --> 00:12:17,168 grits and tattered clothes. 273 00:12:17,251 --> 00:12:19,251 Lookey here, man. 274 00:12:19,085 --> 00:12:22,168 Them lames ain't even got no shoes on, Jack. 275 00:12:22,251 --> 00:12:25,168 I could never go out like that. 276 00:12:25,251 --> 00:12:27,543 Buck Nasty, have some respect. 277 00:12:27,626 --> 00:12:30,918 One of these men could be your great-granddaddy. 278 00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:38,126 [audience laughing] 279 00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:45,210 [chuckles] 280 00:12:45,293 --> 00:12:47,251 Alright, Charlie was definitely funny, 281 00:12:47,085 --> 00:12:49,043 'cause every time we do Buck Nasty, right, 282 00:12:49,126 --> 00:12:51,251 like, he'll be sittin' in the back of the time machine 283 00:12:51,085 --> 00:12:54,126 and as soon as they say, "Okay, roll sound," 284 00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:56,168 Charlie'd get to shaking like this. 285 00:12:56,251 --> 00:12:58,168 He'd start... 286 00:12:58,251 --> 00:12:59,626 Alright, just show 'em, like-- 287 00:12:59,710 --> 00:13:02,126 Just give 'em an example of what it's like to shoot this. 288 00:13:03,210 --> 00:13:04,126 From doctors? 289 00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:05,168 Yeah. 290 00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:06,460 Alright, ready? 291 00:13:06,543 --> 00:13:08,501 Roll sound. 292 00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:15,126 [audience laughing] 293 00:13:23,085 --> 00:13:24,126 It was killing me. 294 00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:25,585 Alright, but I'm getting off the point now. 295 00:13:25,668 --> 00:13:27,085 Let's keep going. 296 00:13:27,168 --> 00:13:30,126 Now, so the now time haters, they're in slavery times, right? 297 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:33,710 And stuff is still kind of going good in the sketch. 298 00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:36,460 Okay, okay, keep, just, keep-- 299 00:13:36,543 --> 00:13:37,543 let it play out. 300 00:13:37,626 --> 00:13:38,751 Let's see what's happening. 301 00:13:38,835 --> 00:13:42,293 Uh-oh, fellas, looks as though we have company. 302 00:13:42,376 --> 00:13:45,085 And what the hell are you niggras doin' out here? 303 00:13:45,168 --> 00:13:47,043 We are the time haters. 304 00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:49,668 We traveled all the way back through time... 305 00:13:50,418 --> 00:13:52,251 To call you a cracker. 306 00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:55,043 You better watch your mouth. 307 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,960 Actually, you better watch your mouth, White boy, 308 00:13:58,043 --> 00:13:59,710 before I put these gators up your ass 309 00:13:59,793 --> 00:14:01,876 and show your insides some style. 310 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,251 That's enough! 311 00:14:05,251 --> 00:14:07,418 I can't be no slave, Silky. 312 00:14:10,418 --> 00:14:12,751 Oh, Good God. 313 00:14:12,835 --> 00:14:14,126 Look, Silky, 314 00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:16,085 he done pulled out a whip. 315 00:14:16,168 --> 00:14:18,168 Nice whip. 316 00:14:18,251 --> 00:14:20,876 This here is a pistol. 317 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,085 Reach for the sky, honky. 318 00:14:23,168 --> 00:14:25,751 Honky? Honky? 319 00:14:25,835 --> 00:14:30,418 Honky is a racial epithet used for White people. 320 00:14:30,501 --> 00:14:33,251 Was made popular by a man named George Jefferson 321 00:14:33,085 --> 00:14:35,376 in the 1970s. 322 00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:36,710 You see, he and his wife, Weezy, 323 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,251 had a dry cleaning business, 324 00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:40,293 so they moved on up to the east side, 325 00:14:40,376 --> 00:14:43,251 to a deluxe apartment in the sky. 326 00:14:43,085 --> 00:14:45,835 They finally got a piece of the pie. 327 00:14:47,835 --> 00:14:50,001 Convoluted story, I'll admit, 328 00:14:50,085 --> 00:14:51,210 but the point is this, 329 00:14:51,293 --> 00:14:56,085 that in the future, all black people will be free. 330 00:14:56,168 --> 00:14:57,835 In a second, alright, 331 00:14:57,918 --> 00:14:59,835 this is what stopped the whole show. 332 00:14:59,918 --> 00:15:01,418 This stopped-- I mean, literally, 333 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,918 the whole episode came to a screeching halt right here. 334 00:15:05,001 --> 00:15:07,876 As a matter of fact, I can predict this episode 335 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,960 coming to a screeching halt right now. 336 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,501 But I'll show it. 337 00:15:11,585 --> 00:15:14,085 When's we gonna be free? 338 00:15:14,168 --> 00:15:16,126 That is a good question, my man. 339 00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:19,126 How about now-ish? 340 00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,668 [gunshot] [grunts] 341 00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:22,210 [gunshot] [grunts] 342 00:15:22,293 --> 00:15:24,001 [gunshot] [grunts] 343 00:15:24,085 --> 00:15:25,668 [gunshot] [grunts] 344 00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:31,668 Apparently, shooting a slave master 345 00:15:31,751 --> 00:15:34,335 isn't funny to anybody but me and Neal. 346 00:15:36,210 --> 00:15:39,001 If I could, I'd do it every episode. 347 00:15:40,251 --> 00:15:41,585 So that was that one. 348 00:15:41,668 --> 00:15:46,001 Now, this next one, the premise, again, 349 00:15:46,085 --> 00:15:48,918 funny premise, it's about a dating service 350 00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:50,793 where you tell 'em what kind of girls you like, 351 00:15:50,876 --> 00:15:53,501 and they'll send dudes to just go out to malls and stuff 352 00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:55,293 and holler at bitches for you. 353 00:15:55,376 --> 00:15:58,335 Now... [chuckles] 354 00:15:58,418 --> 00:15:59,585 not so bad, right? 355 00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:01,251 Go ahead, just show 'em the set up. 356 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:04,210 In a matter of seconds, we'll beam your information 357 00:16:04,043 --> 00:16:06,960 to one of our skilled field technicians. 358 00:16:07,043 --> 00:16:08,210 Hey, hey, hey. Can I holler? 359 00:16:08,293 --> 00:16:09,543 Can I holler at you? Can I holler at you? 360 00:16:09,626 --> 00:16:10,918 Can I holler, holler, holler, holler, holler, holler 361 00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,710 holler, holler, holler, holler, holler, holler at you? 362 00:16:13,793 --> 00:16:15,126 What's wrong with ya? 363 00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,376 That dude is hilarious to us. 364 00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:17,793 His name's Anthony Barry, 365 00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:20,543 and, I mean, everything he says is funny. 366 00:16:20,626 --> 00:16:22,251 And in the course of shooting this sketch, 367 00:16:22,335 --> 00:16:23,626 we figured out he could do this. 368 00:16:23,710 --> 00:16:24,960 So we were like, "just do that." 369 00:16:25,043 --> 00:16:26,085 And we just filmed him doing it. 370 00:16:26,168 --> 00:16:29,001 This is what he did that had us cracking up in editing. 371 00:16:29,085 --> 00:16:31,251 Holler, holler, holler... Holler, holler, holler... 372 00:16:31,085 --> 00:16:33,210 Holler, holler, holler... Holler, holler, holler... 373 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,376 Holler, holler, holler, holler, holler, holler... 374 00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:38,043 Holler, holler, holler... Holler, holler, holler... 375 00:16:38,126 --> 00:16:39,835 Let me holler at you. Let me holler at you. 376 00:16:39,918 --> 00:16:41,335 Let me holler at you, let me holler at you. 377 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,460 Holler, holler, holler, holler, holler, holler... 378 00:16:43,543 --> 00:16:45,543 Holler, holler, holler, holler, holler, holler... 379 00:16:45,626 --> 00:16:47,751 Holler, holler, holler... Holler, holler, holler... 380 00:16:47,835 --> 00:16:49,126 [laughs] 381 00:16:51,126 --> 00:16:53,085 I'm hollerin' at you, bitch. Don't you hear me? 382 00:16:53,168 --> 00:16:54,251 Bitch, let me holler. 383 00:16:54,335 --> 00:16:55,751 Holler, holler, holler... Holler, holler, holler... 384 00:16:55,835 --> 00:16:57,460 I'd like to thank each and every one of y'all 385 00:16:57,543 --> 00:16:59,335 for being here. 386 00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:01,460 I'd like to thank you at home for watching. 387 00:17:01,543 --> 00:17:04,168 I'll see you next week. Good night. 388 00:17:04,251 --> 00:17:07,210 [cheers and applause] 389 00:17:09,293 --> 00:17:10,918 I'm rich, bitch. 390 00:17:11,001 --> 00:17:11,918 [horn honking] 391 00:17:12,001 --> 00:17:13,168 Hi, thank you. 392 00:17:14,543 --> 00:17:18,126 Like BET, the network will also air sitcoms 393 00:17:18,210 --> 00:17:20,585 such as "Gay Sanford and Son." 394 00:17:20,668 --> 00:17:22,501 I gave that money back to the church. 395 00:17:22,585 --> 00:17:24,335 It was the right thing to do. 396 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:29,126 Lamont, you big, gay dummy. 397 00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:30,585 Oh, gay pop. 398 00:17:30,668 --> 00:17:32,918 Come on, gay Julio. 399 00:17:35,085 --> 00:17:37,835 Adios, Mr. Sanford. 400 00:17:39,085 --> 00:17:41,251 This is the big, gay one. 401 00:17:41,335 --> 00:17:44,293 Why they dick so small?