1
00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:02,835
♪ Chappelle's show ♪
♪ Chappelle's show ♪
2
00:00:02,918 --> 00:00:04,210
♪ Oww ♪
3
00:00:05,418 --> 00:00:07,168
♪ Woo-hoo-hoo ♪
4
00:00:07,251 --> 00:00:08,418
♪ Woo-hoo ♪
5
00:00:08,501 --> 00:00:10,710
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
6
00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:12,210
[cheers and applause]
7
00:00:12,293 --> 00:00:14,126
[man] Ladies and gentlemen,
8
00:00:14,210 --> 00:00:18,001
Dave Chappelle!
9
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:19,876
[applause]
10
00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:21,335
Thank you all.
11
00:00:23,126 --> 00:00:24,418
Thank you, folks.
12
00:00:24,501 --> 00:00:27,501
Tonight you tuned in
on a very special night.
13
00:00:27,585 --> 00:00:30,543
You know, now that the show
is becoming successful,
14
00:00:30,626 --> 00:00:32,876
people are writing
about it in the papers,
15
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,585
the only thing more spectacular
than our success
16
00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:37,501
is our failures.
17
00:00:37,585 --> 00:00:40,418
Tonight I will show you
some of the craziest things
18
00:00:40,501 --> 00:00:43,876
we have tried to get away with
and didn't succeed.
19
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,293
[laughing]
[Dave chuckles]
20
00:00:46,376 --> 00:00:48,251
These are all sketches
we actually went out,
21
00:00:48,335 --> 00:00:50,501
we shot the sketches--
I didn't make this idea up.
22
00:00:50,585 --> 00:00:52,293
This is a crazy, uh...
23
00:00:52,376 --> 00:00:54,793
Well, you'll see
as we go along.
24
00:00:54,876 --> 00:00:56,543
But this is the good thing
about black people.
25
00:00:56,626 --> 00:01:01,376
We are just the best at taking
lemons and making lemonade.
26
00:01:01,460 --> 00:01:04,001
This is a skill that
black people have been endowed.
27
00:01:04,085 --> 00:01:05,626
They gave us
the worst part of pigs,
28
00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:07,126
we said we're gonna
call 'em chitlins,
29
00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:08,418
put some hot sauce
on the nigga,
30
00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:10,251
and we will like 'em,
we will like them!
31
00:01:10,085 --> 00:01:11,418
We'll eat the snout,
if we have to.
32
00:01:11,501 --> 00:01:12,960
If we have to,
I will eat the snout.
33
00:01:14,043 --> 00:01:15,460
Tonight we are gonna
eat all snout.
34
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,668
This whole episode
is just straight up snout.
35
00:01:18,751 --> 00:01:21,876
[audience laughing]
36
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:24,293
[Dave chuckles]
37
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:27,418
Now this first sketch
38
00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:30,001
had our first celebrity cameo
39
00:01:30,085 --> 00:01:32,043
The Chappelle Show ever had
that nobody ever saw.
40
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,293
It was a
very good cameo.
41
00:01:33,376 --> 00:01:35,001
Why don't you show 'em
the beginning.
42
00:01:35,085 --> 00:01:36,668
[applause]
43
00:01:36,751 --> 00:01:37,793
Welcome back.
44
00:01:37,876 --> 00:01:39,751
Today, of course,
we are dealing with kids
45
00:01:39,835 --> 00:01:42,210
who are b-a-d, bad.
46
00:01:42,293 --> 00:01:43,585
Do you see, Sally?
47
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:46,043
This is what
I have to deal with.
48
00:01:46,126 --> 00:01:49,751
Ronald is just out of control.
So trifling.
49
00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:51,918
Aw, ma, shut up.
50
00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:53,585
[farts]
51
00:01:53,668 --> 00:01:56,085
Alright, it's time
to straighten you up.
52
00:01:56,168 --> 00:01:58,501
Guess where you are going.
53
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:00,001
Boot camp.
54
00:02:00,085 --> 00:02:02,168
Yeah, boot camp.
That's right.
55
00:02:02,251 --> 00:02:06,376
With the hardest
CO you have ever met.
56
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:11,501
This is where the sketch
goes completely wrong.
57
00:02:11,585 --> 00:02:14,710
That's right,
Nelson Mandela.
58
00:02:14,793 --> 00:02:17,626
[whistle blowing]
59
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:26,043
Alright, children,
shut your mouth.
60
00:02:26,126 --> 00:02:27,168
All of you kids disgust me.
61
00:02:29,501 --> 00:02:31,793
Notice how shitty
the wig is.
62
00:02:33,251 --> 00:02:35,626
Not only do I not look
anything like Nelson Mandela,
63
00:02:35,710 --> 00:02:38,168
but the sketch just gets
progressively crazier.
64
00:02:38,251 --> 00:02:41,668
Mandela proceeds to just
beat the hell out of these kids
65
00:02:41,751 --> 00:02:44,960
for the next, like, eight
to nine minutes, alright?
66
00:02:45,043 --> 00:02:47,168
He's just berating 'em
and beating 'em.
67
00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:49,876
Here, just show them some
of the beat-downs.
68
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,126
This is the full Nelson.
Bitch, it's a pun.
69
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:58,126
You.
Cry "Freedom."
70
00:02:58,210 --> 00:03:00,626
Cry "The Beloved Country."
71
00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:02,210
If I wanted to be mean,
72
00:03:02,293 --> 00:03:05,460
I would tell this kid
how fat he is, huh?
73
00:03:05,543 --> 00:03:08,251
I would tell him that I would
squeeze his breasts together
74
00:03:08,335 --> 00:03:12,293
and make love to his bosom,
if I wanted to.
75
00:03:12,376 --> 00:03:13,960
Pretty bad, huh?
76
00:03:15,001 --> 00:03:17,376
Well, it gets
weirder than that.
77
00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:20,043
Do you think Mandela
doesn't know what this is?
78
00:03:20,126 --> 00:03:22,418
Do you think
Mandela doesn't know
79
00:03:22,501 --> 00:03:24,251
what's popping on the streets?
80
00:03:24,335 --> 00:03:27,126
[All] ♪ In the jungle
The mighty jungle ♪
81
00:03:27,210 --> 00:03:29,251
Yo, I'm not sure,
82
00:03:29,085 --> 00:03:31,710
but I think Mr. Mandela
smoked my drugs.
83
00:03:31,793 --> 00:03:35,960
[All] ♪ A-whee ♪
84
00:03:36,043 --> 00:03:39,960
♪ Whee-o-whee-o
Whee-o-wumbawe ♪
85
00:03:40,043 --> 00:03:43,710
♪ A-whee ♪
86
00:03:43,793 --> 00:03:46,710
♪ Whee-o-whee-o
Whee-o-wumbawe ♪
87
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:50,085
[cheers and applause]
88
00:03:50,168 --> 00:03:51,418
Pretty bad, huh?
89
00:03:53,293 --> 00:03:55,126
Alright, now here's
another stinker.
90
00:03:56,376 --> 00:03:57,751
This one
91
00:03:57,835 --> 00:04:01,751
was supposed to be
like The Def Poetry Jam .
92
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,043
[chuckles]
93
00:04:05,126 --> 00:04:06,085
It was called--
94
00:04:06,168 --> 00:04:07,751
It was a funny premise--
It was called
95
00:04:07,835 --> 00:04:09,293
The Def Comedy Poetry Jam,
96
00:04:09,376 --> 00:04:12,210
where we basically have people
I knew from Def Comedy Jam
97
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:15,001
come and do, like,
the corniest joke premises
98
00:04:15,585 --> 00:04:17,085
in poetry style.
99
00:04:18,210 --> 00:04:20,626
It's kind of hard to explain,
but it was funny.
100
00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:22,585
Like, Mos Def came out,
act a fool.
101
00:04:22,668 --> 00:04:24,251
Go ahead and show them
the beginning.
102
00:04:24,335 --> 00:04:26,960
[screaming]
103
00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:30,168
Are you ready for some
poetry, motherfuckers?
104
00:04:30,251 --> 00:04:31,168
Uh!
105
00:04:31,251 --> 00:04:34,585
Mm, mm, uh!
106
00:04:36,835 --> 00:04:40,376
Alright, so then
Shucky Ducky comes out
107
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:43,001
and Hamburg and all
these guys come out
108
00:04:43,085 --> 00:04:44,293
and do Hacky black poems.
109
00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:46,793
And I even did one myself,
which is pretty hilarious,
110
00:04:46,876 --> 00:04:48,043
I'll show it to you
in its entirety.
111
00:04:48,126 --> 00:04:49,335
Here's the one I did.
112
00:04:50,126 --> 00:04:52,960
[drumming]
113
00:05:01,585 --> 00:05:05,126
White people do this.
114
00:05:05,210 --> 00:05:08,960
Black people--
black people do that.
115
00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:11,751
[audience laughing]
116
00:05:11,835 --> 00:05:15,126
When White people's
power goes off they panic.
117
00:05:16,876 --> 00:05:20,251
When black people's
power goes off they plan it.
118
00:05:23,001 --> 00:05:24,501
We'll take a quick
commercial break,
119
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:26,585
but don't go anywhere.
120
00:05:26,668 --> 00:05:29,168
We have more of our greatest
misses coming up.
121
00:05:32,835 --> 00:05:34,001
Whoo.
122
00:05:34,085 --> 00:05:35,376
Hey, gang, welcome back.
123
00:05:36,751 --> 00:05:39,585
Now, let's see,
how can I describe this sketch?
124
00:05:39,668 --> 00:05:40,710
It was a Frontline piece,
125
00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:43,168
much like we did
the Clayton Bigsby piece,
126
00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:47,585
we wrote this one when they had
opened the first public school
127
00:05:47,668 --> 00:05:49,460
for all-gay students,
128
00:05:49,543 --> 00:05:52,001
and we were like, okay,
America's freaking out now,
129
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,210
like, about the gay thing, like,
130
00:05:54,043 --> 00:05:55,626
so we thought
what if it was, like,
131
00:05:55,710 --> 00:05:58,126
so segregated that there
became two Americas.
132
00:05:58,210 --> 00:06:00,001
It was a Gay America
and a Straight America.
133
00:06:00,085 --> 00:06:04,376
And that was the premise
of the sketch.
134
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,751
Cities like San Francisco
135
00:06:06,835 --> 00:06:09,085
even offer special
municipal services,
136
00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:11,668
like this gay department
of motor vehicles.
137
00:06:11,751 --> 00:06:14,835
Honey, with those
cheekbones, you're a natural!
138
00:06:14,918 --> 00:06:16,126
Now, just stand there.
That's right.
139
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,293
Put your head back
a little bit.
140
00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:18,960
Let's get that
great big smile.
141
00:06:19,043 --> 00:06:19,876
Let's see those
pearly whites.
142
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,043
Hold it, hold it.
143
00:06:21,126 --> 00:06:22,251
[camera shutter clicking]
144
00:06:22,335 --> 00:06:25,085
Congratulations.
Your license plate is so ready.
145
00:06:25,168 --> 00:06:30,001
[audience laughing]
146
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:32,793
[chuckles]
147
00:06:32,876 --> 00:06:33,793
It was funny.
148
00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:35,418
I mean, we were just
messing around.
149
00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:39,001
You know,
just having fun.
150
00:06:39,085 --> 00:06:40,085
Right.
151
00:06:40,168 --> 00:06:41,960
But it gets worse, like,
we keep going on like this.
152
00:06:42,043 --> 00:06:43,126
Okay, so there's a gay DMV,
153
00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:45,418
what else can we just make,
like, a gay version of?
154
00:06:45,501 --> 00:06:46,710
And then we just went
to town with, like,
155
00:06:46,793 --> 00:06:48,168
the gay versions of things.
156
00:06:48,251 --> 00:06:49,543
For instance...
157
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,668
Every aspect of American life
158
00:06:51,751 --> 00:06:53,501
is being affected
by the culture.
159
00:06:54,251 --> 00:06:56,043
There are gay butchers.
160
00:06:56,126 --> 00:06:57,876
Gay landscapers.
161
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,376
♪ Ass, titties,
Ass and titties ♪
162
00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:03,043
♪ Ass, ass,
Titties, titties ♪
163
00:07:03,126 --> 00:07:04,960
[chuckles]
164
00:07:05,043 --> 00:07:07,210
Just for fun,
can we see that guy again?
165
00:07:07,043 --> 00:07:08,793
That shit was very funny to me.
166
00:07:08,876 --> 00:07:11,835
♪ Ass, titties,
Ass and titties ♪
167
00:07:11,918 --> 00:07:14,251
♪ Ass ass,
Titties, titties-- ♪
168
00:07:14,335 --> 00:07:16,751
Here's where we start
spinning out of control.
169
00:07:16,835 --> 00:07:19,543
Alright, this next one
was offensive,
170
00:07:19,626 --> 00:07:22,335
not only to gay people
but black people.
171
00:07:22,418 --> 00:07:24,168
And if you're
a gay black person
172
00:07:24,251 --> 00:07:26,001
then you'll get doubly mad,
173
00:07:26,085 --> 00:07:27,835
but it was all
in the spirit of fun.
174
00:07:27,918 --> 00:07:30,126
I thought--
I still think it's funny.
175
00:07:30,210 --> 00:07:31,751
Alright, go ahead
and show the clip.
176
00:07:31,835 --> 00:07:34,751
Here in Hartsfield, Alabama,
amazingly,
177
00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:38,751
they have started a gay chapter
of the Ku Klux Klan.
178
00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:42,460
Oh, it's hot
like the dickens.
179
00:07:42,543 --> 00:07:44,168
As I was saying at brunch,
180
00:07:44,251 --> 00:07:46,418
and we hate, too, okay?
181
00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:49,960
But we do it a special way.
We do it with compassion.
182
00:07:50,043 --> 00:07:53,543
Good morning,
I'm with the K.K.K.
183
00:07:53,626 --> 00:07:55,585
We had a meeting
and we were talking
184
00:07:55,668 --> 00:07:57,668
and we'd be more comfortable
185
00:07:57,751 --> 00:07:59,626
if you guys
left the neighborhood.
186
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,543
Have you considered
going back to Africa?
187
00:08:07,043 --> 00:08:08,126
Alright.
188
00:08:08,210 --> 00:08:11,960
Now, this next piece
was the piece that started
189
00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:14,251
the whole she-bang-a-bang.
190
00:08:14,085 --> 00:08:15,710
This was the first premise
that led
191
00:08:15,793 --> 00:08:17,293
to this Gay America sketch.
192
00:08:17,376 --> 00:08:19,585
This actually
was Charlie Murphy's idea.
193
00:08:19,668 --> 00:08:22,793
He called and was like
"I got this funny idea
194
00:08:22,876 --> 00:08:24,210
for a sketch, man."
195
00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:29,126
And he told me, he told Neal,
and we just ran with it.
196
00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:31,293
This is the most
splendiferous,
197
00:08:31,376 --> 00:08:36,043
spectacious monumental event
in the history of the world.
198
00:08:36,126 --> 00:08:40,168
Professional boxing
with all-gay fighters.
199
00:08:40,251 --> 00:08:43,251
I call it
"Friday Night Sissy Fights"
200
00:08:43,335 --> 00:08:45,126
and it's on
none other than HBO.
201
00:08:45,668 --> 00:08:46,585
On my right,
202
00:08:46,668 --> 00:08:48,710
"The Bathhouse Brawler",
203
00:08:48,793 --> 00:08:52,668
none other than
sweet puss Rogers.
204
00:08:52,751 --> 00:08:54,001
Look at that footwork.
205
00:08:54,876 --> 00:08:56,668
His dad was a schoolgirl.
206
00:08:56,751 --> 00:08:57,960
Man, he's gay.
207
00:08:58,043 --> 00:09:02,168
And to my left,
"The Tyrannical Tea-Bagger"
208
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:05,835
none other than Reggie Blazer.
209
00:09:05,918 --> 00:09:09,210
He's weighing himself in
as we speak.
210
00:09:09,293 --> 00:09:12,960
Uh-uh, uh-uh,
this scale is broke.
211
00:09:13,043 --> 00:09:16,210
Cheetah, didn't I tell you
to fix this scale.
212
00:09:16,043 --> 00:09:17,085
And what you looking at
213
00:09:17,168 --> 00:09:18,335
with your ashy-ass lips?
214
00:09:18,418 --> 00:09:20,210
Whatever, fat-ass.
215
00:09:20,043 --> 00:09:21,376
I love it!
216
00:09:24,835 --> 00:09:26,876
[squeals]
217
00:09:29,085 --> 00:09:31,501
On that note, we're actually
gonna take a commercial break,
218
00:09:31,585 --> 00:09:32,918
but don't go nowhere.
219
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:35,210
We'll be right back with more
of our greatest misses.
220
00:09:38,835 --> 00:09:40,043
Man, I'm bored
221
00:09:40,126 --> 00:09:42,918
I got to go to
The Chappelle Show.
222
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:47,210
Alright,
welcome back, welcome back.
223
00:09:48,251 --> 00:09:49,293
Alright.
224
00:09:50,751 --> 00:09:55,168
This next one might be
my favorite failure of all time.
225
00:09:55,251 --> 00:09:57,876
Now, last season
we did this sketch called
226
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,918
"The player hater's ball."
227
00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:01,793
Wasn't our
most popular sketch,
228
00:10:01,876 --> 00:10:03,626
but it was just
one of my favorites.
229
00:10:03,710 --> 00:10:04,793
It was just very silly.
230
00:10:04,876 --> 00:10:06,168
So we said let's bring 'em back,
231
00:10:06,251 --> 00:10:07,876
but let's try
to do something different.
232
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,126
Up the ante a little bit.
233
00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:11,918
So it starts out
that the player haters
234
00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:15,085
are having a science fair.
235
00:10:15,168 --> 00:10:17,710
Alright,
go ahead, go ahead.
236
00:10:17,793 --> 00:10:21,085
Furthermore, my wave machine
can create enough energy
237
00:10:21,168 --> 00:10:24,251
to power most
medium-sized homes with ease.
238
00:10:24,335 --> 00:10:26,835
Thank you, bitches.
239
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:28,210
When you said wave machine,
240
00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:30,126
I thought you was talking
about something that could
241
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:32,168
repair that catastrophe
you call a hairstyle.
242
00:10:32,251 --> 00:10:34,501
Buck Nasty, you are so dark
243
00:10:34,585 --> 00:10:38,126
when you touch yourself,
it's like black-on-black crime.
244
00:10:40,126 --> 00:10:42,001
Ah.
245
00:10:44,168 --> 00:10:46,876
Right,
so, so far so good.
246
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,626
It has all the elements
of the old sketch that we loved.
247
00:10:49,710 --> 00:10:52,251
There's Jheri Curl juice
snapping, going back and forth.
248
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,335
Alright, here's where it
starts getting a little weird.
249
00:10:55,418 --> 00:10:57,251
[gong ringing]
-Attention.
250
00:10:58,085 --> 00:11:01,876
I brought to you, bitches,
251
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,168
my great invention yet.
252
00:11:04,251 --> 00:11:07,168
The time machine.
253
00:11:07,251 --> 00:11:10,210
[gong ringing]
254
00:11:11,543 --> 00:11:15,626
-So now the premise
is that they travel through time
255
00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:18,835
and hate on people.
256
00:11:18,918 --> 00:11:21,751
Now, that's--
that's not a bad premise,
257
00:11:21,835 --> 00:11:23,251
but somehow
258
00:11:23,085 --> 00:11:25,376
it just didn't come
together right.
259
00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:26,710
Let's see what happens.
260
00:11:26,793 --> 00:11:29,043
First, they go back
and I think they fuck up Hitler.
261
00:11:30,085 --> 00:11:34,376
[slow distorted voices]
262
00:11:46,876 --> 00:11:50,668
Hitler momma got one
big titty and one little titty,
263
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,710
and they call the bitch
Biggie Smalls.
264
00:11:55,001 --> 00:11:56,876
Alright, so the crowd's
still kind of with us.
265
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,543
And now we take
'em to the 1840s.
266
00:11:59,626 --> 00:12:01,543
Let's see how that hate
works out.
267
00:12:01,626 --> 00:12:03,793
Good God!
268
00:12:03,876 --> 00:12:06,293
Incarcerated
African-Americans.
269
00:12:06,376 --> 00:12:08,460
Slavery, if you will.
270
00:12:08,543 --> 00:12:10,335
These men here
271
00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:13,793
work for the minimumest
of wages,
272
00:12:13,876 --> 00:12:17,168
grits and tattered clothes.
273
00:12:17,251 --> 00:12:19,251
Lookey here, man.
274
00:12:19,085 --> 00:12:22,168
Them lames ain't even
got no shoes on, Jack.
275
00:12:22,251 --> 00:12:25,168
I could never
go out like that.
276
00:12:25,251 --> 00:12:27,543
Buck Nasty,
have some respect.
277
00:12:27,626 --> 00:12:30,918
One of these men could be
your great-granddaddy.
278
00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:38,126
[audience laughing]
279
00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:45,210
[chuckles]
280
00:12:45,293 --> 00:12:47,251
Alright, Charlie
was definitely funny,
281
00:12:47,085 --> 00:12:49,043
'cause every time
we do Buck Nasty, right,
282
00:12:49,126 --> 00:12:51,251
like, he'll be sittin' in
the back of the time machine
283
00:12:51,085 --> 00:12:54,126
and as soon as they say,
"Okay, roll sound,"
284
00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:56,168
Charlie'd get
to shaking like this.
285
00:12:56,251 --> 00:12:58,168
He'd start...
286
00:12:58,251 --> 00:12:59,626
Alright, just
show 'em, like--
287
00:12:59,710 --> 00:13:02,126
Just give 'em an example of
what it's like to shoot this.
288
00:13:03,210 --> 00:13:04,126
From doctors?
289
00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:05,168
Yeah.
290
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:06,460
Alright, ready?
291
00:13:06,543 --> 00:13:08,501
Roll sound.
292
00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:15,126
[audience laughing]
293
00:13:23,085 --> 00:13:24,126
It was killing me.
294
00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:25,585
Alright, but I'm
getting off the point now.
295
00:13:25,668 --> 00:13:27,085
Let's keep going.
296
00:13:27,168 --> 00:13:30,126
Now, so the now time haters,
they're in slavery times, right?
297
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:33,710
And stuff is still kind of going
good in the sketch.
298
00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:36,460
Okay, okay,
keep, just, keep--
299
00:13:36,543 --> 00:13:37,543
let it play out.
300
00:13:37,626 --> 00:13:38,751
Let's see
what's happening.
301
00:13:38,835 --> 00:13:42,293
Uh-oh, fellas,
looks as though we have company.
302
00:13:42,376 --> 00:13:45,085
And what the hell are you
niggras doin' out here?
303
00:13:45,168 --> 00:13:47,043
We are the time haters.
304
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:49,668
We traveled all the way
back through time...
305
00:13:50,418 --> 00:13:52,251
To call you a cracker.
306
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:55,043
You better
watch your mouth.
307
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,960
Actually, you better
watch your mouth, White boy,
308
00:13:58,043 --> 00:13:59,710
before I put these gators
up your ass
309
00:13:59,793 --> 00:14:01,876
and show your insides
some style.
310
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,251
That's enough!
311
00:14:05,251 --> 00:14:07,418
I can't be no slave, Silky.
312
00:14:10,418 --> 00:14:12,751
Oh, Good God.
313
00:14:12,835 --> 00:14:14,126
Look, Silky,
314
00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:16,085
he done pulled out a whip.
315
00:14:16,168 --> 00:14:18,168
Nice whip.
316
00:14:18,251 --> 00:14:20,876
This here is a pistol.
317
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,085
Reach for the sky, honky.
318
00:14:23,168 --> 00:14:25,751
Honky?
Honky?
319
00:14:25,835 --> 00:14:30,418
Honky is a racial epithet
used for White people.
320
00:14:30,501 --> 00:14:33,251
Was made popular by
a man named George Jefferson
321
00:14:33,085 --> 00:14:35,376
in the 1970s.
322
00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:36,710
You see,
he and his wife, Weezy,
323
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,251
had a dry cleaning business,
324
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:40,293
so they moved on up
to the east side,
325
00:14:40,376 --> 00:14:43,251
to a deluxe apartment
in the sky.
326
00:14:43,085 --> 00:14:45,835
They finally got
a piece of the pie.
327
00:14:47,835 --> 00:14:50,001
Convoluted story, I'll admit,
328
00:14:50,085 --> 00:14:51,210
but the point is this,
329
00:14:51,293 --> 00:14:56,085
that in the future,
all black people will be free.
330
00:14:56,168 --> 00:14:57,835
In a second, alright,
331
00:14:57,918 --> 00:14:59,835
this is what stopped
the whole show.
332
00:14:59,918 --> 00:15:01,418
This stopped--
I mean, literally,
333
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,918
the whole episode came
to a screeching halt right here.
334
00:15:05,001 --> 00:15:07,876
As a matter of fact,
I can predict this episode
335
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,960
coming to a screeching halt
right now.
336
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,501
But I'll show it.
337
00:15:11,585 --> 00:15:14,085
When's we gonna be free?
338
00:15:14,168 --> 00:15:16,126
That is a good question,
my man.
339
00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:19,126
How about now-ish?
340
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,668
[gunshot]
[grunts]
341
00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:22,210
[gunshot]
[grunts]
342
00:15:22,293 --> 00:15:24,001
[gunshot]
[grunts]
343
00:15:24,085 --> 00:15:25,668
[gunshot]
[grunts]
344
00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:31,668
Apparently,
shooting a slave master
345
00:15:31,751 --> 00:15:34,335
isn't funny to anybody
but me and Neal.
346
00:15:36,210 --> 00:15:39,001
If I could,
I'd do it every episode.
347
00:15:40,251 --> 00:15:41,585
So that was that one.
348
00:15:41,668 --> 00:15:46,001
Now, this next one,
the premise, again,
349
00:15:46,085 --> 00:15:48,918
funny premise,
it's about a dating service
350
00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:50,793
where you tell 'em what
kind of girls you like,
351
00:15:50,876 --> 00:15:53,501
and they'll send dudes to just
go out to malls and stuff
352
00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:55,293
and holler at bitches for you.
353
00:15:55,376 --> 00:15:58,335
Now...
[chuckles]
354
00:15:58,418 --> 00:15:59,585
not so bad, right?
355
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:01,251
Go ahead,
just show 'em the set up.
356
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:04,210
In a matter of seconds,
we'll beam your information
357
00:16:04,043 --> 00:16:06,960
to one of our skilled
field technicians.
358
00:16:07,043 --> 00:16:08,210
Hey, hey, hey.
Can I holler?
359
00:16:08,293 --> 00:16:09,543
Can I holler at you?
Can I holler at you?
360
00:16:09,626 --> 00:16:10,918
Can I holler, holler, holler,
holler, holler, holler
361
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,710
holler, holler, holler, holler,
holler, holler at you?
362
00:16:13,793 --> 00:16:15,126
What's wrong with ya?
363
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,376
That dude
is hilarious to us.
364
00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:17,793
His name's Anthony Barry,
365
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:20,543
and, I mean,
everything he says is funny.
366
00:16:20,626 --> 00:16:22,251
And in the course
of shooting this sketch,
367
00:16:22,335 --> 00:16:23,626
we figured out
he could do this.
368
00:16:23,710 --> 00:16:24,960
So we were like,
"just do that."
369
00:16:25,043 --> 00:16:26,085
And we just filmed
him doing it.
370
00:16:26,168 --> 00:16:29,001
This is what he did that had us
cracking up in editing.
371
00:16:29,085 --> 00:16:31,251
Holler, holler, holler...
Holler, holler, holler...
372
00:16:31,085 --> 00:16:33,210
Holler, holler, holler...
Holler, holler, holler...
373
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,376
Holler, holler, holler, holler,
holler, holler...
374
00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:38,043
Holler, holler, holler...
Holler, holler, holler...
375
00:16:38,126 --> 00:16:39,835
Let me holler at you.
Let me holler at you.
376
00:16:39,918 --> 00:16:41,335
Let me holler at you, let me
holler at you.
377
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,460
Holler, holler, holler, holler,
holler, holler...
378
00:16:43,543 --> 00:16:45,543
Holler, holler, holler, holler,
holler, holler...
379
00:16:45,626 --> 00:16:47,751
Holler, holler, holler...
Holler, holler, holler...
380
00:16:47,835 --> 00:16:49,126
[laughs]
381
00:16:51,126 --> 00:16:53,085
I'm hollerin' at you, bitch.
Don't you hear me?
382
00:16:53,168 --> 00:16:54,251
Bitch, let me holler.
383
00:16:54,335 --> 00:16:55,751
Holler, holler, holler...
Holler, holler, holler...
384
00:16:55,835 --> 00:16:57,460
I'd like to thank
each and every one of y'all
385
00:16:57,543 --> 00:16:59,335
for being here.
386
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:01,460
I'd like to thank
you at home for watching.
387
00:17:01,543 --> 00:17:04,168
I'll see you next week.
Good night.
388
00:17:04,251 --> 00:17:07,210
[cheers and applause]
389
00:17:09,293 --> 00:17:10,918
I'm rich, bitch.
390
00:17:11,001 --> 00:17:11,918
[horn honking]
391
00:17:12,001 --> 00:17:13,168
Hi, thank you.
392
00:17:14,543 --> 00:17:18,126
Like BET, the network
will also air sitcoms
393
00:17:18,210 --> 00:17:20,585
such as "Gay Sanford and Son."
394
00:17:20,668 --> 00:17:22,501
I gave that money
back to the church.
395
00:17:22,585 --> 00:17:24,335
It was the right thing
to do.
396
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:29,126
Lamont, you big,
gay dummy.
397
00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:30,585
Oh, gay pop.
398
00:17:30,668 --> 00:17:32,918
Come on, gay Julio.
399
00:17:35,085 --> 00:17:37,835
Adios, Mr. Sanford.
400
00:17:39,085 --> 00:17:41,251
This is the big, gay one.
401
00:17:41,335 --> 00:17:44,293
Why they dick so small?