1 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,293 ♪ Chappelle's Show ♪ 2 00:00:04,376 --> 00:00:05,668 ♪ Chappelle's Show ♪ 3 00:00:05,751 --> 00:00:06,918 ♪ Chappelle's Show ♪ ♪ Chappelle's Show ♪ 4 00:00:07,001 --> 00:00:08,501 ♪ Oww ♪ 5 00:00:08,585 --> 00:00:11,126 ♪ Woo-hoo hoo ♪ 6 00:00:11,210 --> 00:00:12,668 ♪ Woo-hoo ♪ 7 00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:14,376 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 8 00:00:16,293 --> 00:00:17,751 Let's start the show. 9 00:00:17,835 --> 00:00:19,918 [playing harmonica] 10 00:00:21,501 --> 00:00:23,126 [man] Ladies and gentlemen, 11 00:00:23,210 --> 00:00:25,876 Dave Chappelle! 12 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,043 Oh! 13 00:00:28,043 --> 00:00:29,668 Hey, everybody. 14 00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:31,501 Hey! 15 00:00:33,043 --> 00:00:34,001 Alright! 16 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:35,668 Alright! 17 00:00:36,585 --> 00:00:39,043 Welcome to Chappelle's Show. 18 00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:41,918 Man, welcome, guys. Thanks for coming out tonight. 19 00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:43,960 You at home, thanks for tuning in. 20 00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:45,876 You know, folks, it's been an interesting couple of weeks 21 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,251 here at Chappelle's Show-- 22 00:00:47,085 --> 00:00:48,876 Lot of flak I've been getting 23 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,876 for the racially-charged sketches. 24 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:51,876 It happens. 25 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,001 [laughing] 26 00:00:54,085 --> 00:00:55,126 But I think I'm being misunderstood, 27 00:00:55,210 --> 00:00:58,876 so I just want to take a moment to explain myself, okay? 28 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,168 I'm not advocating 29 00:01:01,251 --> 00:01:03,210 in any way, shape or form 30 00:01:03,293 --> 00:01:05,876 any type of racial hatred. 31 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:08,751 I'm just making fun of each other's cultures. 32 00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:09,751 It's fun. 33 00:01:11,710 --> 00:01:14,585 Problem is, when you do stereotypical kind of jokes, 34 00:01:14,668 --> 00:01:16,126 there's no room for subtleties. 35 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,126 People always say things, for instance, 36 00:01:18,210 --> 00:01:20,210 that white people can't dance. 37 00:01:20,043 --> 00:01:21,460 It's not that white people can't dance. 38 00:01:21,543 --> 00:01:23,710 Is that, is that really how it goes? 39 00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:25,793 [laughing] 40 00:01:26,751 --> 00:01:28,168 I don't think so. 41 00:01:28,251 --> 00:01:30,210 Let's explore this further, okay? 42 00:01:30,043 --> 00:01:33,168 I'd like to introduce a piece now 43 00:01:33,251 --> 00:01:34,501 called "White people dancing." 44 00:01:34,585 --> 00:01:36,543 [laughing] 45 00:01:36,626 --> 00:01:38,085 Hey, gang. 46 00:01:38,168 --> 00:01:41,710 You know, all my life I've heard that white people can't dance. 47 00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:43,043 I don't believe that. 48 00:01:43,126 --> 00:01:45,668 I don't think it's so much that white people can't dance, 49 00:01:45,751 --> 00:01:49,126 it's just that they like certain musical instruments. 50 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:53,043 That instrument, my friends, is electric guitar. 51 00:01:53,126 --> 00:01:56,293 It speaks directly to the soul of the white person. 52 00:01:56,376 --> 00:01:58,251 They find it irresistible. 53 00:01:58,085 --> 00:02:00,460 Now with me, as you can see, is my good friend, John Mayer. 54 00:02:00,543 --> 00:02:01,793 How are ya? 55 00:02:01,876 --> 00:02:03,835 And we are going to test this theory this afternoon. 56 00:02:03,918 --> 00:02:05,210 You ready? 57 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,668 -I'm ready. -Let's do it. 58 00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:07,501 Let's go. 59 00:02:09,126 --> 00:02:10,251 [Dave] It's my personal theory 60 00:02:10,085 --> 00:02:11,668 that when white people hear electric guitar, 61 00:02:11,751 --> 00:02:14,960 they cannot resist the urge to dance, 62 00:02:15,043 --> 00:02:16,335 no matter where they are. 63 00:02:16,418 --> 00:02:17,626 Well, me and John went to different locations 64 00:02:17,710 --> 00:02:20,210 and put this theory to the test. 65 00:02:20,293 --> 00:02:23,126 [quiet business chattering] 66 00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:30,293 Okay, folks, here we are in a corporate board room. 67 00:02:30,376 --> 00:02:32,835 You can see people behind us working in the bullpens. 68 00:02:32,918 --> 00:02:35,251 And right now, a meeting is in progress. 69 00:02:35,335 --> 00:02:38,126 We want to see what happens when you play electric guitar 70 00:02:38,210 --> 00:02:41,043 in the most professional of settings. 71 00:02:41,876 --> 00:02:43,251 -Ready, John? -[whispering] Yeah, I'm ready. 72 00:02:43,335 --> 00:02:45,043 Okay, cool, go, go. 73 00:02:45,126 --> 00:02:49,293 ♪ 74 00:02:49,376 --> 00:02:53,335 [audience laughing] 75 00:03:06,376 --> 00:03:07,793 [music ends] 76 00:03:07,876 --> 00:03:10,001 I knew it, I knew it. 77 00:03:10,085 --> 00:03:11,626 Come on, let's get out of here. 78 00:03:14,418 --> 00:03:16,168 [audience laughing] 79 00:03:19,501 --> 00:03:21,418 Okay, we've seen how white people 80 00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,335 respond to guitar music at work. 81 00:03:24,418 --> 00:03:27,251 Now we're in a chic Manhattan restaurant. 82 00:03:27,085 --> 00:03:29,126 It's lunchtime, the business crowd is here. 83 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,835 A lot of bush votes in the room. 84 00:03:30,918 --> 00:03:33,085 Let's see how the conservative crowd acts 85 00:03:33,168 --> 00:03:36,918 when they hear guitar music while they're eating. 86 00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:39,293 John, play-- Play The Fight Riff , play i! 87 00:03:39,376 --> 00:03:45,210 ♪ 88 00:03:47,251 --> 00:03:48,168 These people-- look it here! 89 00:03:48,251 --> 00:03:49,960 Oh, my God, look at this! 90 00:03:50,043 --> 00:03:51,168 Oh! 91 00:03:52,085 --> 00:03:54,168 Oh, my gosh. 92 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,376 I've never seen anything like this, folks. 93 00:04:00,335 --> 00:04:01,668 [music stops] 94 00:04:03,835 --> 00:04:05,293 Enjoy your lunch, everybody. 95 00:04:06,251 --> 00:04:09,835 [classical music playing] 96 00:04:14,335 --> 00:04:15,626 Alright. 97 00:04:15,710 --> 00:04:17,876 Every experiment needs a control. 98 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:18,793 Now, right now, me and John 99 00:04:18,876 --> 00:04:20,585 are in a barber shop in Harlem. 100 00:04:20,668 --> 00:04:24,210 Everyone here is either Black or Latino. 101 00:04:24,793 --> 00:04:27,626 Let's see how electric guitar works on them. 102 00:04:27,710 --> 00:04:29,126 -Ready, John? -Yeah. 103 00:04:29,210 --> 00:04:30,585 Okay, okay, go, go. 104 00:04:30,668 --> 00:04:35,376 ♪ 105 00:04:50,668 --> 00:04:51,501 Hey, yo! 106 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:54,585 Shut the fuck up! 107 00:04:55,126 --> 00:04:57,210 Okay, okay. 108 00:04:58,085 --> 00:05:00,251 That went pretty much how I expected. 109 00:05:00,085 --> 00:05:05,085 Now, let's see how the blacks respond to drums. 110 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:09,085 [drum roll] 111 00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:16,210 Questlove, go. 112 00:05:16,043 --> 00:05:19,043 [playing drums] 113 00:05:19,126 --> 00:05:21,168 Ahh... yeah! 114 00:05:21,251 --> 00:05:22,126 Yeah! 115 00:05:22,210 --> 00:05:23,293 Yeah! 116 00:05:23,376 --> 00:05:24,335 Uh! 117 00:05:25,251 --> 00:05:29,043 Play somethin', play somethin', play somethin'. 118 00:05:29,126 --> 00:05:30,251 ♪ Yo, yo ♪ 119 00:05:30,335 --> 00:05:32,751 ♪ I'm down with Any sex or any race ♪ 120 00:05:32,835 --> 00:05:34,168 ♪ If you were beatin' me ♪ 121 00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:35,960 ♪ It's like Billy Crystal Playin' Scarface ♪ 122 00:05:36,043 --> 00:05:38,043 ♪ And I can't See it, blind to the eyes ♪ 123 00:05:38,126 --> 00:05:40,835 ♪ I came up in your face, Oops, pow, surprise ♪ 124 00:05:40,918 --> 00:05:42,460 Oh! 125 00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:43,710 Yeah! 126 00:05:46,668 --> 00:05:49,085 Whoo! 127 00:05:49,293 --> 00:05:52,126 Whoo, that worked like gangbusters! 128 00:05:52,210 --> 00:05:53,918 But I still happened to notice, 129 00:05:54,001 --> 00:05:56,168 some of the Latin people were nodding their heads, 130 00:05:56,251 --> 00:05:57,168 but they weren't really feeling it 131 00:05:57,251 --> 00:05:59,210 As much as I thought they would. 132 00:05:59,043 --> 00:06:00,918 But I think I got the remedy. 133 00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:04,043 What would happen if I incorporated within that 134 00:06:04,126 --> 00:06:06,876 an electric piano? 135 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,335 Sanchez, go! 136 00:06:08,418 --> 00:06:10,293 [playing piano] 137 00:06:10,376 --> 00:06:14,918 [drums playing Latin beat] 138 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,210 Alright, this is going great. 139 00:06:18,043 --> 00:06:20,543 Now I'm gonna kick it up a notch, watch this. 140 00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:23,793 [gibberish] 141 00:06:26,043 --> 00:06:29,085 ♪ Yi, yi, yi Yi, yi, yi ♪ 142 00:06:31,168 --> 00:06:34,293 ♪ Yi, yi, yi Yi, yi, yi, yi ♪ 143 00:06:36,793 --> 00:06:38,793 Ay, caramba! 144 00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:39,793 Ole! 145 00:06:39,876 --> 00:06:41,376 [music ends] 146 00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:44,168 Hey, guys, have a good day. 147 00:06:44,251 --> 00:06:45,418 Sorry for interrupting. 148 00:06:46,585 --> 00:06:48,210 So what did we learn, gang? 149 00:06:48,293 --> 00:06:50,251 We learned that white people can dance 150 00:06:50,335 --> 00:06:53,126 If you play what they like, electric guitar. 151 00:06:53,210 --> 00:06:55,585 Of course, we, the blacks, can't resist drums. 152 00:06:55,668 --> 00:06:58,876 And Latino's love congas and electric piano 153 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,876 with Spanish gibberish over it, I guess. 154 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,126 So next time someone says 155 00:07:03,210 --> 00:07:04,585 that someone from another race can't dance-- 156 00:07:04,668 --> 00:07:05,793 Alright, alright. 157 00:07:05,876 --> 00:07:06,710 We're gonna need to see a permit. 158 00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:07,960 Excuse me? 159 00:07:08,043 --> 00:07:09,293 You have to have a permit to shoot out here. 160 00:07:09,376 --> 00:07:11,126 And we will fine you. 161 00:07:11,210 --> 00:07:12,501 John, do something quick. 162 00:07:12,585 --> 00:07:13,376 Eh... 163 00:07:13,460 --> 00:07:19,251 ♪ Every rose has its thorn ♪ 164 00:07:19,085 --> 00:07:22,251 ♪ Just like every night ♪ 165 00:07:22,335 --> 00:07:25,251 ♪ Has its dawn ♪ 166 00:07:25,335 --> 00:07:26,835 That's right, sing it! 167 00:07:26,918 --> 00:07:29,835 ♪ Just like every cowboy ♪ 168 00:07:29,918 --> 00:07:33,126 ♪ Sings a sad, sad song ♪ 169 00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:35,210 Hey, my man, how you know that song? 170 00:07:35,043 --> 00:07:37,460 I'm from the suburbs, man, I can't help it. 171 00:07:38,376 --> 00:07:40,085 I can't help it! 172 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,210 ♪ Though it's been a while now ♪ 173 00:07:42,293 --> 00:07:44,960 ♪ I can still feel So much pain ♪ 174 00:07:56,376 --> 00:08:01,918 ♪ Every rose has it's thorn ♪ 175 00:08:02,001 --> 00:08:04,918 ♪ Just like every night ♪ 176 00:08:05,001 --> 00:08:08,126 ♪ Has it's dawn ♪ 177 00:08:08,210 --> 00:08:12,001 ♪ Just like every cowboy ♪ 178 00:08:12,085 --> 00:08:15,918 ♪ Sings a sad, sad song ♪ 179 00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:20,876 ♪ Every rose has its thorn ♪ 180 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,251 [applauding] 181 00:08:24,335 --> 00:08:26,043 We're gonna take a quick commercial break. 182 00:08:26,126 --> 00:08:27,876 Keep dancin', we'll be right back. 183 00:08:33,460 --> 00:08:34,876 ♪ We're going to Dave Chappelle's Show ♪ 184 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,376 -How's this? -Go! 185 00:08:37,876 --> 00:08:40,960 Hey, everybody, welcome back to Chappelle's Show. 186 00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:44,335 Thanks for joining us. 187 00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:50,126 You know, folks, I hate to hit this point so hard, 188 00:08:50,210 --> 00:08:52,751 But remember, whenever we do these racial commentaries, 189 00:08:52,835 --> 00:08:55,168 it's always about the subtleties. 190 00:08:55,251 --> 00:08:57,543 We're all part of the same human family. 191 00:08:57,626 --> 00:09:00,418 Our differences are just cultural, that's it. 192 00:09:00,501 --> 00:09:02,126 For instance, when a white person is 193 00:09:02,210 --> 00:09:03,626 maybe having trouble sleeping, 194 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,668 You might take some kind of, uh, warm milk-- 195 00:09:06,751 --> 00:09:08,001 I don't know what you drink. 196 00:09:08,085 --> 00:09:10,085 [laughing] 197 00:09:10,168 --> 00:09:11,251 For the black people, 198 00:09:11,335 --> 00:09:13,710 we have a sleeping aid, too. 199 00:09:13,793 --> 00:09:15,168 And it's just coming out on the market. 200 00:09:15,251 --> 00:09:17,460 It's available for everyone's consumption. 201 00:09:17,543 --> 00:09:19,210 And we're proud to be the first sponsor 202 00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:21,501 of the newest sleep aid for Black America. 203 00:09:21,585 --> 00:09:22,335 Here it is. 204 00:09:23,835 --> 00:09:26,543 [groaning] 205 00:09:28,585 --> 00:09:30,043 What is it, honey? 206 00:09:30,126 --> 00:09:31,335 I got a big meeting tomorrow, 207 00:09:31,418 --> 00:09:33,126 and I still can't sleep. 208 00:09:33,210 --> 00:09:35,043 I took sleeping pills and everything. 209 00:09:35,126 --> 00:09:36,210 Relax, honey. 210 00:09:36,293 --> 00:09:37,876 I think I've got just the thing. 211 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,210 [Woman] From the makers of Valtran and Simelox 212 00:09:40,043 --> 00:09:42,585 comes America's number one sleeping aid. 213 00:09:42,668 --> 00:09:43,626 Ribs. 214 00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:46,251 [audience laughing] 215 00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,085 Hickory! 216 00:09:48,168 --> 00:09:50,210 Oh, wow. 217 00:09:52,043 --> 00:09:53,710 [audience laughing] 218 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:55,043 [Woman] Here's how it works. 219 00:09:55,126 --> 00:09:57,335 Once ingested, ribs go to work on your stomach, 220 00:09:57,418 --> 00:10:00,960 spreading barbecue sauce and greasy porkiness throughout, 221 00:10:01,043 --> 00:10:04,126 creating an age-old condition called, the "ITIS." 222 00:10:04,210 --> 00:10:05,876 You'll feel sluggish, drowsy 223 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,251 and should be asleep in a matter of minutes. 224 00:10:08,335 --> 00:10:09,960 Got that ITIS. 225 00:10:12,626 --> 00:10:14,418 [whispering] Thanks, ribs. 226 00:10:22,501 --> 00:10:24,043 Oh... [farting] 227 00:10:24,126 --> 00:10:25,126 Mud butt. 228 00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:28,918 [cheers and applause] 229 00:10:29,001 --> 00:10:31,001 What would be the inverse of that joke ? 230 00:10:31,085 --> 00:10:32,043 If I did that joke for white people, 231 00:10:32,126 --> 00:10:34,418 what would it be, like, turkey or something? 232 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,543 I don't know-- turkey, right? 233 00:10:36,626 --> 00:10:37,876 What's the food that white people say, 234 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,751 "Boy, that sure makes me sleepy"? 235 00:10:39,835 --> 00:10:41,126 -Huh? -Box of wine. 236 00:10:41,210 --> 00:10:43,501 -What is it? -Box of wine. 237 00:10:43,585 --> 00:10:45,210 Box of wine? 238 00:10:46,501 --> 00:10:49,876 Wine comes in a box, America, damn! 239 00:10:51,293 --> 00:10:54,168 He said that without hesitation, "Box of wine." 240 00:10:54,251 --> 00:10:55,335 [audience laughing] 241 00:10:55,418 --> 00:10:57,460 "Puts me right out." 242 00:10:58,668 --> 00:10:59,960 We're gonna take a quick commercial break. 243 00:11:00,043 --> 00:11:01,418 Don't go nowhere, we got more comedy for you 244 00:11:01,501 --> 00:11:03,043 on Chappelle's Show. 245 00:11:03,126 --> 00:11:04,335 That's right. 246 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:10,043 ♪ Chappelle's Show ♪ 247 00:11:10,126 --> 00:11:12,876 Better not bring your kids! 248 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,126 [cheers and applause] 249 00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:17,793 Welcome back. 250 00:11:17,876 --> 00:11:20,335 Welcome back to Chappelle's Show , everybod. 251 00:11:23,585 --> 00:11:25,501 A lot-- one thing I've been hearing a lot recently is, 252 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:28,043 they say, you know, "Dave, you make fun of everybody 253 00:11:28,126 --> 00:11:31,085 and everything, but how come you never make fun of yourself?" 254 00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:34,126 'Cause it's not easy, I'm sensitive. 255 00:11:35,251 --> 00:11:37,293 But since you guys have been so good to me tonight, 256 00:11:37,376 --> 00:11:40,626 I feel like I owe you no less. 257 00:11:40,710 --> 00:11:44,168 This next piece is about the real Dave Chappelle. 258 00:11:44,251 --> 00:11:46,168 It's personal, it's actually very personal, 259 00:11:46,251 --> 00:11:48,251 but here it is. 260 00:11:48,085 --> 00:11:51,335 Hey, I'm Dave Chappelle, host of Chappelle's Show . 261 00:11:51,418 --> 00:11:53,960 Many guys are familiar with my on-screen persona, 262 00:11:54,043 --> 00:11:55,960 but the question keeps popping up, 263 00:11:56,043 --> 00:11:58,126 Who is Dave Chappelle, really? 264 00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:01,335 Well, guys, the answer isn't so simple. 265 00:12:01,418 --> 00:12:02,543 You see, in the last 12 years, 266 00:12:02,626 --> 00:12:05,085 I've been at least three different people. 267 00:12:05,168 --> 00:12:06,835 Here's me at 18. 268 00:12:06,918 --> 00:12:11,168 Sincere, earnest, relentlessly optimistic. 269 00:12:11,251 --> 00:12:13,085 Then there was me at 24. 270 00:12:13,168 --> 00:12:16,168 Budding movie star, reefer addict 271 00:12:16,251 --> 00:12:17,835 and a man with a sexual appetite 272 00:12:17,918 --> 00:12:21,460 that would make Michael Douglas seem gay. 273 00:12:21,543 --> 00:12:24,085 Then, of course, is the man who stands in front of you now. 274 00:12:24,168 --> 00:12:28,668 Proud father, loyal husband and prompt taxpayer. 275 00:12:28,751 --> 00:12:30,251 All three of these men had different psyches 276 00:12:30,335 --> 00:12:33,501 and handled things in very different ways. 277 00:12:33,585 --> 00:12:35,126 And with your permission, 278 00:12:35,210 --> 00:12:37,751 I'd like to explore these three men tonight 279 00:12:37,835 --> 00:12:40,376 in a piece that I like to call, 280 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,376 "Three Dave's." 281 00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:44,043 ♪ 282 00:12:44,126 --> 00:12:46,210 Alright, first scenario. 283 00:12:46,293 --> 00:12:49,001 Let's say I'm having problems in a relationship. 284 00:12:49,085 --> 00:12:52,126 Why don't we take a look at how I used to handle that at 18? 285 00:12:52,210 --> 00:12:53,043 [music playing] 286 00:12:53,126 --> 00:12:55,251 Sharon, Sharon, look. 287 00:12:55,335 --> 00:12:56,460 I want to work this out, 288 00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:57,501 but you gotta talk to me. 289 00:12:57,585 --> 00:12:58,710 You gotta open up. 290 00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:03,043 Last week, when we were at that Das EFX concert, 291 00:13:04,085 --> 00:13:05,251 I riggity realized... 292 00:13:05,335 --> 00:13:09,043 I liggity love you. 293 00:13:09,126 --> 00:13:10,710 Clickety clow! 294 00:13:10,793 --> 00:13:12,668 Come on, girl, don't be like this. 295 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,043 You act like all I want to do 296 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,501 is zooma-zoom-zoom in your boom-boom. 297 00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:19,710 Why you gotta be like this ? 298 00:13:19,793 --> 00:13:21,585 Clickety clow! 299 00:13:22,251 --> 00:13:24,543 What a biggity bitch! 300 00:13:24,626 --> 00:13:26,251 I'm talking about myself, of course. 301 00:13:26,918 --> 00:13:28,043 Alright. 302 00:13:28,126 --> 00:13:29,668 Well, let's see how I handled relationship difficulties 303 00:13:29,751 --> 00:13:31,043 at 24. 304 00:13:31,626 --> 00:13:35,001 I love her but she don't trust me. 305 00:13:35,085 --> 00:13:38,126 I can't be with someone who don't trust me. 306 00:13:38,210 --> 00:13:39,585 Oh, that sounds terrible. 307 00:13:39,668 --> 00:13:41,335 Do you want another song, honey? 308 00:13:41,418 --> 00:13:42,376 Yes, I do. 309 00:13:42,460 --> 00:13:44,251 -$10. -I know. 310 00:13:46,043 --> 00:13:47,210 And the other day, 311 00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:50,501 you know what she had the nerve to say to me? 312 00:13:50,585 --> 00:13:52,668 That I smell like I been at a titty bar. 313 00:13:52,751 --> 00:13:54,501 So the fuck what! 314 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:57,210 Well, let's see how I handle relationship problems today, 315 00:13:57,293 --> 00:13:59,043 Now that I'm a father and a husband 316 00:13:59,126 --> 00:14:00,918 and all that good stuff. 317 00:14:01,418 --> 00:14:04,085 [sighing] 318 00:14:04,168 --> 00:14:06,251 [whispering] Baby... 319 00:14:06,085 --> 00:14:07,460 Baby, you up? 320 00:14:17,043 --> 00:14:20,626 [audience laughing] 321 00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:23,168 Oh, ooh. 322 00:14:26,918 --> 00:14:28,501 Scenario two. 323 00:14:28,585 --> 00:14:30,501 Let's say I'm pulled over by the police, 324 00:14:30,585 --> 00:14:32,418 and I'm being treated less than fairly. 325 00:14:32,501 --> 00:14:34,210 These kinds of things happen. 326 00:14:34,043 --> 00:14:36,418 Why don't we see how 18-year-old Dave used to handle that? 327 00:14:38,293 --> 00:14:39,460 Help! 328 00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:41,168 Okay. 329 00:14:41,251 --> 00:14:43,418 Now, let's take a look at 24-year-old Dave. 330 00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:46,543 -I ain't do nothin'! -Get on the ground! 331 00:14:46,626 --> 00:14:47,876 -Get on--on the ground! -Alright! 332 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:48,793 Hey-yeah! 333 00:14:48,876 --> 00:14:49,835 What about you? 334 00:14:49,918 --> 00:14:51,001 Why don't you get on the ground? 335 00:14:51,085 --> 00:14:52,460 That's right-- give me my license back. 336 00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:55,418 Now, spread your cheeks and lift your sac. 337 00:14:55,501 --> 00:14:57,335 That's right, and you know what? 338 00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:59,168 I am high... I'm high! 339 00:15:02,043 --> 00:15:05,001 And now, let's take a look at 30-year-old Dave. 340 00:15:06,085 --> 00:15:08,251 Hi, license, insurance and registration, please. 341 00:15:08,085 --> 00:15:09,085 Sure. 342 00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,168 Sorry about that, I was running late 343 00:15:12,251 --> 00:15:14,460 for a shoot for my show... 344 00:15:14,543 --> 00:15:16,335 Chappelle's Show, I'm Dave Chappelle? 345 00:15:16,418 --> 00:15:17,293 Oh, yeah? 346 00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:18,626 I'm rich, bitch. 347 00:15:20,168 --> 00:15:22,210 You haven't seen it? 348 00:15:22,293 --> 00:15:23,751 Don't get it. 349 00:15:24,335 --> 00:15:25,293 Buckle up, baby! 350 00:15:25,376 --> 00:15:26,543 Yah! 351 00:15:29,751 --> 00:15:31,043 Over the last 12 years of my career, 352 00:15:31,126 --> 00:15:33,251 I went through a lot of ups and downs. 353 00:15:33,085 --> 00:15:35,960 A lot of people ask me, "Dave, how do you handle it 354 00:15:36,043 --> 00:15:37,543 when you lose out on a movie part 355 00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:38,751 that you really want?" 356 00:15:38,835 --> 00:15:40,210 It's a good question. 357 00:15:40,043 --> 00:15:43,376 I'll show you how I used to handle it at 18 right now. 358 00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:45,876 Well, who got the part? 359 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,168 The Wayans Brothers? 360 00:15:47,251 --> 00:15:48,293 There's, there's more? 361 00:15:49,043 --> 00:15:51,001 And here's how I handled 362 00:15:51,085 --> 00:15:53,460 the same type of situation at 24. 363 00:15:53,543 --> 00:15:56,376 Chris Tucker... fuck! 364 00:15:56,460 --> 00:15:57,918 This is the second time this happened. 365 00:15:58,001 --> 00:15:59,876 Who got the other part? 366 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,043 Tell me man, just-- 367 00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:03,168 Jackie Chan? 368 00:16:03,251 --> 00:16:06,085 That motherfucker can't even speak English. 369 00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:07,835 Shit! 370 00:16:07,918 --> 00:16:11,501 And now, here's how sensible Shoe Dave 371 00:16:11,585 --> 00:16:13,293 handles it at 30. 372 00:16:13,376 --> 00:16:14,210 Who? 373 00:16:15,126 --> 00:16:16,210 Who's Nick Cannon? 374 00:16:16,293 --> 00:16:19,501 Daddy, Nick Cannon is hilarious. 375 00:16:20,168 --> 00:16:21,543 Man, fuck you, son. 376 00:16:21,626 --> 00:16:23,543 You probably think he's so goddamned hilarious 377 00:16:23,626 --> 00:16:26,168 Because he just walked off with your school clothes money. 378 00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:27,126 It's funny, isn't it? 379 00:16:27,210 --> 00:16:29,210 I'm broke, nigga, I'm broke! 380 00:16:29,293 --> 00:16:31,210 Well, I guess that gives you guys a pretty good idea 381 00:16:31,043 --> 00:16:33,918 of how I've changed over the years. 382 00:16:34,001 --> 00:16:36,876 But before I go, I just want to give each of me 383 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:40,626 a chance to tell you their overall philosophy in life. 384 00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:42,376 18-year-old Dave, you're on. 385 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,126 "When you lose... 386 00:16:45,293 --> 00:16:47,043 don't lose the lesson." 387 00:16:48,585 --> 00:16:51,085 His Holiness, the Dalai Lama. 388 00:16:51,168 --> 00:16:52,585 That was touching. 389 00:16:52,668 --> 00:16:55,293 Alright, how about you, me at 24? 390 00:16:58,835 --> 00:17:00,960 "Hey, hey, hey, hey... 391 00:17:01,043 --> 00:17:03,210 smoke weed every day." 392 00:17:03,043 --> 00:17:04,126 Nate Dogg. 393 00:17:05,085 --> 00:17:07,210 Dave at 30, what you got for me? 394 00:17:08,126 --> 00:17:09,251 Fuck Nick Cannon. 395 00:17:09,335 --> 00:17:10,835 Dave Chappelle. 396 00:17:10,918 --> 00:17:12,085 He's hilarious. 397 00:17:12,168 --> 00:17:14,460 You know, you're acting like a little bitch, alright ? 398 00:17:14,543 --> 00:17:16,543 Stop saying that, you trying to make your father feel bad? 399 00:17:16,626 --> 00:17:18,085 I gotta pay all the bills around here. 400 00:17:18,168 --> 00:17:19,043 You're gonna go tell your mother? 401 00:17:19,126 --> 00:17:20,793 You tell your mother I'm cussin' in the house! 402 00:17:20,876 --> 00:17:22,210 That's right, shit! 403 00:17:22,293 --> 00:17:25,668 [cheers and applause] 404 00:17:27,626 --> 00:17:29,835 We're gonna take a quick commercial break. 405 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:32,751 But Dave at 30 will be right back after these messages. 406 00:17:36,043 --> 00:17:37,751 ♪ Chappelle's Show ow ♪ 407 00:17:37,835 --> 00:17:40,126 [applause] 408 00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:41,376 Welcome back. 409 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:43,043 Welcome back, everybody. 410 00:17:46,126 --> 00:17:47,918 It is time for another 411 00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:51,085 Chappelle's Show musical performance. 412 00:17:51,168 --> 00:17:53,210 As you can see tonight, we were lucky enough to have 413 00:17:53,293 --> 00:17:56,501 John Mayer and Questlove from the roots appear in our sketch. 414 00:17:56,585 --> 00:17:58,126 And while we were shootin' the sketch, 415 00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:01,168 we actually shot a musical performance just for fun. 416 00:18:01,251 --> 00:18:03,085 This next one, folks, is just for you. 417 00:18:03,168 --> 00:18:07,210 Please welcome yours truly and The Dave Chappelle trio. 418 00:18:07,293 --> 00:18:10,126 You know, folks, right now, the world is in trouble. 419 00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:12,376 And I know it seems like the sketches we do are racey, 420 00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:15,043 but this is all just comedy. 421 00:18:15,126 --> 00:18:17,501 Really, it's all about love. 422 00:18:17,585 --> 00:18:20,460 So this song right now is not only going out to you at home 423 00:18:20,543 --> 00:18:25,418 and everyone across America, but everyone across the world. 424 00:18:25,501 --> 00:18:27,210 And it goes a little something like this, 425 00:18:29,835 --> 00:18:34,960 ♪ Now the world don't move ♪ 426 00:18:35,043 --> 00:18:38,543 ♪ To the beat of just One drum ♪ 427 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,835 ♪ What might Be right for you ♪ 428 00:18:43,918 --> 00:18:48,001 ♪ May not be right For some ♪ 429 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:51,251 ♪ A man is born ♪ 430 00:18:51,335 --> 00:18:54,460 ♪ He's a man of means ♪ 431 00:18:54,543 --> 00:18:57,585 ♪ Then along come two ♪ 432 00:18:57,668 --> 00:19:00,126 ♪ They got nothin' but The dream ♪ 433 00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:02,293 ♪ But it takes different strokes ♪ 434 00:19:02,376 --> 00:19:04,335 ♪ It takes different strokes ♪ 435 00:19:04,418 --> 00:19:09,585 ♪ It takes different strokes To rule the world ♪ 436 00:19:09,668 --> 00:19:13,418 ♪ Everybody's got their Special kind of story ♪ 437 00:19:13,501 --> 00:19:17,918 ♪ Everybody's got a way To shine ♪ 438 00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:21,418 ♪ It don't matter what You got not a lot so what ♪ 439 00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:23,293 ♪ They'll have theirs And you'll have yours ♪ 440 00:19:23,376 --> 00:19:25,751 ♪ And I'll have mine ♪ 441 00:19:25,835 --> 00:19:27,876 ♪ And together we'll Be fine ♪ 442 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,835 ♪ 'Cause it Takes different strokes ♪ 443 00:19:29,918 --> 00:19:32,043 ♪ It takes different strokes ♪ 444 00:19:32,126 --> 00:19:37,293 ♪ It takes different Strokes to rule the world ♪ 445 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:40,710 ♪ Different strokes To rule the-- ♪ 446 00:19:40,793 --> 00:19:42,960 ♪ Mmm ♪ 447 00:19:43,043 --> 00:19:44,668 ♪ That was the gooch ♪ 448 00:19:46,668 --> 00:19:47,835 [laughing] Alright. 449 00:19:48,501 --> 00:19:50,085 Alright, alright. 450 00:19:50,168 --> 00:19:53,918 ♪ When the world never seems ♪ 451 00:19:54,001 --> 00:19:57,460 ♪ To be livin' Up to your dream ♪ 452 00:19:57,543 --> 00:19:59,543 ♪ And suddenly You're finding out ♪ 453 00:19:59,626 --> 00:20:02,793 ♪ The facts of life Are all about you ♪ 454 00:20:03,418 --> 00:20:06,543 ♪ Doo... ♪ 455 00:20:06,626 --> 00:20:07,960 [man] Turn around! 456 00:20:08,043 --> 00:20:12,626 ♪ Uh, it takes a lot to get Them right ♪ 457 00:20:12,710 --> 00:20:14,543 ♪ When you're learning The facts of ♪ 458 00:20:14,626 --> 00:20:16,168 ♪ Learning the facts of ♪ 459 00:20:16,251 --> 00:20:19,710 ♪ Learning the facts of life ♪ 460 00:20:20,668 --> 00:20:24,960 ♪ They're all about you ♪ 461 00:20:25,043 --> 00:20:27,085 That's right. 462 00:20:27,168 --> 00:20:30,418 Turns out that life is all about you. 463 00:20:30,501 --> 00:20:32,626 Thanks for watching the show this week. 464 00:20:32,710 --> 00:20:35,543 I'd like to thank my guests John Mayer, 465 00:20:35,626 --> 00:20:37,335 Questlove. 466 00:20:37,418 --> 00:20:39,626 John on keyboards. 467 00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:41,960 I'm Dave Chappelle. 468 00:20:42,043 --> 00:20:43,085 I'll see you guys next week. 469 00:20:44,751 --> 00:20:46,918 I'll see you next week, everybody, God bless. 470 00:20:47,001 --> 00:20:48,210 I'm out. 471 00:20:48,043 --> 00:20:50,543 [cheers and applause] 472 00:20:57,376 --> 00:20:58,501 [Dave] I'm rich, bitch! 473 00:20:58,585 --> 00:20:59,626 [horn honks] 474 00:20:59,710 --> 00:21:00,793 Hi, thank you. 475 00:21:02,126 --> 00:21:04,210 ♪ Fish don't fry In the kitchen ♪ 476 00:21:04,293 --> 00:21:06,960 ♪ Beans don't burn On the grill ♪ 477 00:21:07,043 --> 00:21:09,501 ♪ Took a whole lotta tryin' ♪ 478 00:21:09,585 --> 00:21:12,168 ♪ Just to get up that hill ♪ 479 00:21:12,251 --> 00:21:14,585 ♪ Now we're up In the big leagues ♪ 480 00:21:14,668 --> 00:21:17,126 ♪ Gettin' our turn at bat ♪ 481 00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:19,835 ♪ As long as we live, It's you and me baby ♪ 482 00:21:19,918 --> 00:21:21,418 ♪ There ain't Nothin' wrong with that ♪ 483 00:21:21,501 --> 00:21:22,960 ♪ Well we're movin' on up ♪ 484 00:21:23,043 --> 00:21:24,210 ♪ Movin' on up ♪ 485 00:21:24,293 --> 00:21:25,501 ♪ To the east side ♪ 486 00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:27,210 ♪ Movin' on up ♪ 487 00:21:27,043 --> 00:21:30,376 ♪ To a deluxe apartment In the sky ♪ 488 00:21:31,835 --> 00:21:34,751 ♪