♪ ♪
>> START THE CLOCK.
♪ ♪
>> Bill: THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
HOW ARE YOU?
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OKAY, THANKS FOR COMING OUT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU, PEOPLE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, PLEASE SIT
DOWN, THANK YOU.
IT'S NICE TO SEE SO MANY
FAMILIAR MASKS.
BUT I THINK I KNOW WHY YOU'RE
HAPPY TODAY, WE ARE IN THE
YELLOW ZONE IN L.A. COUNTY,
WHATEVER THE HELL THAT IS, WE
ARE IN THE YELLOW ZONE!
I KNOW IT'S GOOD TO!
IT MEANS THAT SOON ALL
CALIFORNIANS ARE ABLE TO DO THE
THINGS THAT ALL CALIFORNIANS
WANT TO DO LIKE EAT IN A
RESTAURANT INDOORS, VISIT A
MUSEUM, RUN FOR GOVERNOR, THE
THINGS ALL OF US DO.
A LITTLE PAT ON THE BACK FOR US,
WE DID GOOD OUT HERE,
LOS ANGELES COUNTY HAS HAD
SEVERAL DAYS NOW WITHOUT ANYONE
DYING FROM COVID.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ALTHOUGH QUITE A FEW WERE
CRUSHED TO DEATH BY THEIR
PALATINE TREADMILL.
PEAPPARENTLY THEY ARE DANGEROUSO
SMALL CHILDREN WHO CAN GET
SUCKED INTO THEM AND ALSO TO
PARENTS BECAUSE THEY CREATE THE
ILLUSION YOU CAN RUN AWAY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CANNOT RUN
AWAY FROM?
DID YOU SEE THIS?
A 23-TON CHINESE ROCKET BOOSTER.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?
THAT'S COMING DOWN TO EARTH.
PEOPLE SEND UP SATELLITES AND
YOU'VE GOT TO SEND THEM UP ON A
ROCKET, THIS THING IS TEN
STORIES HIGH.
USUALLY I GUESS THEY JUST ORBIT,
THIS ONE IS GOING INTO AN
UNCONTROLLED REENTRY THIS
WEEKEND.
CHINA SAID IT'S VERY UNLIKELY TO
CAUSE ANY HARM AND I BELIEVE
THEM, AFTER ALL ONE OF THEY EVER
LET SOMETHING...
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
GO ON TO THE NEXT JOKE, THEY ARE
WAY AHEAD OF ME.
I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO FINISH
THAT JOKE.
IT IS MOTHER'S DAY SUNDAY, ARE
YOU EXCITED ABOUT THAT?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
IT IS ALWAYS A HEARTWARMING
STORY ABOUT SPAWNING ON
MOTHER'S DAY THEM AND NEVER FIND
HEARTWARMING, THIS WEEK GUESS
WHAT IT IS.
IN AFRICA, A WOMAN GAVE BIRTH TO
NINE BABIES AT THE SAME TIME --
TAKE THAT, OC OCTO MOM.
NINE BABIES COME UP MOM IS
RESTING COMFORTABLY, DAD WALKED
STRAIGHT INTO THE OCEAN WITH HIS
CLOTHES ON.
NINE BABIES.
FOR MOTHER'S DAY, HALLMARK HAS A
SPECIAL CARD MADE FOR Q1 ON MOS
SAID "ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE
BLUE, YOU'RE THE BEST MOM, BIDEN
EATS BABIES.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
I HATE TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD
NEWS, THE PROBLEM IN THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY IS NOT GOING
AWAY, IT IS NOT GOING AWAY.
MITT ROMNEY, MITT ROMNEY, I WAS
AGAINST THIS GUIDE NINE YEARS
AGO WHEN HE RAN, NOW HE'S LIKE
THE VOICE OF MODERATION.
HE WENT TO UTAH WHERE HE IS A
SAINT TO MAKE A SPEECH, THEY
BOOED HIM OFF THE STAGE.
THIS IS LIKE LINDSEY GRAHAM
GETTING BOOED ON FIRE ISLAND.
AND MITT ROMNEY SAID TO THE
CROWD "AREN'T YOU EMBARRASSED?"
AND THEY ARE LIKE WE ARE
300 POUNDS, THERE ARE CROCS ON
OUR FEET, WE ARE WEARING A TRUMP
FLAG IS A CAPE, WHAT DO YOU
THINK?
THE CUCKOO WING IS IN CONTROL,
LIZ CHENEY, DAUGHTER OF
DICK CHENEY, COULD YOU HAVE
DEEPER REPUBLICAN ROOTS THAN LIZ
CHENEY?
SHE'S ABOUT TO LOSE HER
LEADERSHIP POSITION IN CONGRESS
BECAUSE SHE WILL NOT EMBRACE THE
IDEA THAT THE 2020 ELECTION WAS
STOLEN FROM DONALD TRUMP AND THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY, TRUTH WILL SET
YOU FREE FROM YOUR JOB, NOT
REALLY A JOKE BUT A FINE IDEA,
WAS TOTALLY NOT EXPECTING A
LAUGH THERE, THANK YOU FOR NOT
GIVING IT TO ME.
WOULD HAVE JUST ENCOURAGE THE
WRITERS.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT THE PROBLEM IS TRUMP IS
STILL OUT THERE AND HE'S GOT A
NEW PLATFORM EVEN THOUGH HE WAS
THROWN OFF FACEBOOK AGAIN,
FACEBOOK THIS WEEK VOTED, THEY
HAD A BIG CONCLAVE THERE, THEY
WERE GOING TO KEEP THE BAN ON
TRUMP FOR ANOTHER SIX MONTHS OFF
FACEBOOK.
[APPLAUSE]
BECAUSE YOU KNOW IN THE NEXT SIX
MONTHS HE WILL PROBABLY CHANGE.
[LAUGHTER]
FACEBOOK SAID IF HE WANTS TO
SPREAD HIS MISINFORMATION IN HIS
PROPAGANDA, HE'S GOING TO HAVE
TO BUY ADS LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.
AND FINALLY SAD NEWS IN THE
MARRIAGE DEPARTMENT I GUESS YOU
HEARD ABOUT BILL GATES AND
MELINDA GATES, THEY'RE GETTING
DIVORCED.
[LAUGHTER]
THANK YOU.
THAT IS THE EXACT APPROPRIATE
RESPONSE TO THAT.
THEY LIVED IN A 66,000
SQUARE-FOOT HOUSE, IT'S SO HARD
TO KEEP A LONG-DISTANCE
RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER.
THEY WERE HAVING PROBLEMS AND
BILL GATES SAID THEY WERE HAVING
PROBLEMS CONNECTING AND HE
CALLED HIS I.T. GUY IN AND HE
SAID THEY JUST WEREN'T
COMPATIBLE.
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW, WE HAVE
REPRESENTATIVE ELISSA SLOTKIN
AND RICK WILSON ARE HERE.
BUT FIRST, HE'S A PROFESSOR OF
LINGUISTICS AT COLUMBIA
UNIVERSITY WHOSE NEW BOOK IS
CALLED "NINE NASTY WORDS,
ENGLISH IN THE GUTTER - THEN,
NOW, AND FOREVER" YOU CAN FIND
HIS COMMENTARY ON SUBSTACK.COM:
I DON'T MIND SAYING HE IS ONE MY
HEROES, JOHN McWHORTER IS OVER
HERE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WE DON'T TOUCH ANY MORE -- I
WOULD LIKE TO TOUCH YOU BECAUSE
I'M SUCH A FAN OF YOURS, I MUST
TELL YOU.
>> IT'S GOOD TO HEAR.
>> Bill: I AM, I HOPE SOME OF
OUR MUTUAL FRIENDS HAVE TOLD YOU
THAT OVER THE YEARS, I ADMIRE
YOU SO MUCH NOT JUST BECAUSE
YOU'RE A VOICE OF COMMON SENSE
BUT IT TAKES GUTS THESE DAYS TO
BE A VOICE OF COMMON SENSE I
THINK.
>> BUT I DON'T THINK OF MYSELF
AS BRAVE BECAUSE WHAT I REALLY
AM IS A FAILED LAWYER AND MY
ISSUE IS JUST THAT IF THINGS
DON'T MAKE SENSE TO ME THEN I
JUST WANT TO TRY TO MAKE SENSE
OF IT A AND I WANT PEOPLE TO
UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN AND THIS
IS THE THING: IF YOU ARE A GOOD
BLBLACK PERSON YOU'RE OFTEN TOLD
TO CERTAIN RACE ISSUES YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO NOT QUITE MAKE SENSE
AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH
A CERTAIN KIND OF WORD MAGIC, I
HAVE NEVER FELT IT, I HAVE
ALWAYS THOUGHT I AND BLACK AND I
WOULD LIKE THAT TO MAKE SENSE
TOO AND THAT'S WHY I END UP
LOOKING BRAVE WHEN REALLY I'M
OBSESSIVE.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: WHAT I GET SO MUCH
FROM LISTENING TO YOU AND
READING YOU AS YOU FEEL
CONDESCENDED TO.
[LAUGHTER]
>> ESPECIALLY LATELY.
>> Bill: RIGHT.
I SEE THAT ALL THE TIME, I DO
WONDER WHY THAT IS NOT MORE IN
THE DIALOGUE THAT WE HAVE.
>> IT'S THE STRANGEST THING,
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE
SPECIFIC, WHITE FRAGILITY THAT
SAYS BLACK PEOPLE ARE THESE
HOTHOUSE FLOWERS WERE EVERYONE
HAS TO TIPTOE AROUND US, WE ARE
ALWAYS CRYING AND ALWAYS ANGRY
AND WE ARE SO VERY DELICATE
SPIRIT I DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT
PERSON, THAT PERSON IS TALKING
DOWN TO ME AS FAR AS I'M
CONCERNED.
>> Bill: IT USED TO BE CALLED
BLACK FRAGILITY.
>> IT SHOULD BE USED TO KEEP
TABLES FROM WOBBLING, THAT IS
THE ONLY USE FOR THAT BOOK.
AND YET YOU LOOK ON FACEBOOK AND
YOU HAVE PEOPLE SAY "I'M DOING
THE WORK" AND READING THIS BOOK.
AND I'M THINKING TO MYSELF THEY
ARE DOING THE WORK OF MAKING ME
INTO A PERFECT IDIOT.
WHY DON'T MORE OF MY FELLOW
BLACK PEOPLE FEEL THAT WAY?
IT'S BECAUSE OF THE VERY HUMAN
THING, IT IS A VERY HUMAN THING
TO TAKE ON THE VICTIM IDENTITY.
ALL PEOPLE DO IT, WE ALL HAVE
KNOWN PEOPLE LIKE THAT, A WAY
YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU'RE A BLACK
PERSON AND ALL OF US NEED TO
GRAB ONTO SOMETHING SOMETIMES IS
TO READ A BOOK LIKE THAT AND
THINK I NEED TO BE TREATED THAT
WAY.
I AM GOING TO START ACTIVELY
PARSING IT THAT WAY, I DON'T
THINK PEOPLE REALIZE WHAT SILLY
BABIES BOOKS LIKE THAT MAKE US
LOOK LIKE.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: TO BE FAIR, I THINK
MOST BLACK FOLKS DO AGREE WITH
YOU, IT'S JUST THE ONES COME UP
PEOPLE BLACK-AND-WHITE OR
ON TWITTER.
>> I KNOW WHEN I SAY THESE
THINGS IT'S NOT JUST ME AND
COLEMAN HUGHES AND GLENN LOWRY
AND TWO OR THREE OTHER PEOPLE IF
IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE THAT I
WOULDN'T SAY "LOOK AT THE WAY WE
WEIRDOS FEEL."
I'VE BEEN BLACK PRETTY MUCH FOR
55 YEARS AND I KNOW HOW BLACK
PEOPLE FEEL AND I ALWAYS THINK
THIS CERTAIN SLIVER OF PEOPLE IN
THE MEDIA AND ACADEMIA ARE OFTEN
MUCH SMARTER THAN ME BUT THAT IS
NOT THE REPRESENTATIVE VIEW.
FOR EXAMPLE IF YOU ARE GOING TO
READ "HOW TO BE AN ANTIRACIST."
THAT IS NOT THE GENERAL BLACK
VIEW OF THINGS, IT'S LIKE THE
BIE.
THAT BOOK IF YOU MUST READ IT
SHOULD BE READ AS LITERATURE
RATHER THAN AS SCHOLARSHIP.
IT'S NOT GENERAL.
AND YET WE ARE TOLD THAT SOMEHOW
WE HAVE TO ACCEPT THESE SORTS OF
THINGS AS THE BLACK OF YOU AND
YOU WILL SEE IT ON TWITTER.
A BLACK PERSON WILL WRITE
ON TWITTER, YOU HAVE TO LISTEN
TO THE BLACK PEOPLE WHO ARE THE
REAL BLACK PEOPLE, THE BLACK
PEOPLE LIKELY TO LISTEN TO -- IS
A GREAT DEAL OF DIVERSITY IN THE
BLACK COMMUNITY AND I CAN TELL
YOU IT'S NOT FOR THE DEFAULT IN
THE BLACK COMMUNITY TO THINK OF
OURSELVES AS PATHETIC.
"YES WE CAN'T" HAS NEVER BEEN
THE SLOGAN FOR BLACK AMERICA AND
IT'S NOT NOW.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: I REMEMBER WHEN TRUMP
WAS RUNNING IN 2016 HIS PITCH TO
THE BLACK COMMUNITY WAS "WHAT DO
YOU GOT TO LOSE?
YOU WALK OUT YOUR DOOR YOU GET
SHOT."
[LAUGHTER]
AND I THOUGHT WHAT AN INSULT,
MOST BLACK PEOPLE LIVE IN THE
SUBURBS.
ALMOST TWO-THIRDS ARE
MIDDLE-CLASS.
SOME ARE NOT IN THE MIDDLE CLASS
BECAUSE THEY ARE DOING VERY
WELL -- THAT'S NOT TO SAY THERE
ISN'T STILL RACISM IN THIS
COUNTRY, OF COURSE, THERE ARE
PROBLEMS AND BIG DIFFERENCES IN
EQUALITY AND WEALTH.
WHICH OF COURSE SHOULD BE
ADDRESSED.
BUT IF I MAY AMEND ONE THING YOU
SAID -- THOSE PEOPLE YOU
MENTIONED ARE NOT SMARTER THAN
YOU.
>> MADE A NOISE ON TV.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: ONE THING I LOVE THAT
YOU SAY, ONCE IN A WHILE OVER
THE YEARS HAVE CRITICIZED
RELIGION, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
KNOW THAT.
>> EVERY NOW AND THEN, YES.
>> Bill: THE FACT THAT YOU
CHARACTERIZE SOME OF THIS
WOKENESS AS RELIGION APPEALED TO
ME.
WHEN WE TALK ABOUT RELIGION WE
ARE TALKING ABOUT THINGS LIKE
ORIGINAL SIN.
>> WHITE PRIVILEGE.
IF.
>> Bill: WHITENESS, I'VE NEVER
HEARD THE TERM WHITENESS BEFORE.
>> YOU SEND WHEN YOU WERE A BABY
WHEN YOU CAME OUT AND YOU WILL
NEVER GET RID OF YOUR WHITE
PRIVILEGE NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO
COME YOU'RE GOING TO DIE WITH
IT, THE ONLY GOOD THING IS TO
PUT YOURSELF ON FACEBOOK SAYING
"I'M DOING THE WORK."
AND THAT WAY YOU ARE ATONING FOR
YOUR WHITE PRIVILEGE.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: YOU CALL YOURSELF A
CRANKY LIBERAL, CRANKY DEMOCRAT?
>> Bill: I AM ALL OF THOSE
THINGS.
>> Bill: ME TOO.
FOR PEOPLE WATCHING US SAYING
"HOW DARE THEY --
>> THERE ARE A FEW.
>> Bill: LIBERALISM HAS
CHANGED ESPECIALLY AS RACIAL
MATTERS GO IN THE LAST FIVE
YEARS AND HERE ARE SOME NEW
IDEAS, NEW TO ME AND I DON'T
AGREE WITH MOST OF THEM.
ONE, IT'S NEVER BEEN WORSE.
>> IT'S TERRIBLE, 1850 AND NOW
IT'S WORSE.
1966, IT'S GOTTEN SO MUCH WORSE.
THESE ARE PEOPLE TOO YOUNG TO A
MEMBER THE WAY IT WAS FOR
FRANKLY IT'S THE VICTIM COMPLEX
WHICH FEELS GOOD IN THE MOMENT
BUT IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH
REALITY AND IT'S DEFEATIST.
>> Bill: I THINK IT'S THE
FIRST THING YOU SAID.
[APPLAUSE]
THE YOUNGER GENERATION FEELS
LIKE IF SOMETHING DIDN'T HAPPEN
WHILE THEY WERE ALIVE, IT DIDN'T
HAPPEN.
>> I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.
>> Bill: I CAN'T, IT'S STUPID.
IT'S CALLED HISTORY, I'VE HEARD
THEM SAY IT ON THIS SHOW.
I WASN'T AROUND FOR IT -- I
WASN'T AROUND FOR THE
FRENCH REVOLUTION BUT I KNOW
ABOUT IT.
[APPLAUSE]
>> I SYMPATHIZE A LITTLE BIT
BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH
TECHNOLOGY.
I THINK YOU COULD BE AS OLD AS
40 AT THIS POINT, THE WAY IT
USED TO BE IT LOOKS SO VERY
DIFFERENT BECAUSE IT'S IN
BLACK-AND-WHITE OFTEN AFTER
THINGS ARE IN COLOR, THEY LOOK
REAL AND ALSO BLACK HISTORY WAS
RELATIVELY QUIESCENT IN THE
1970s AND INTO THE 80s SO
IT'S EASY TO MISS HOW DIFFERENT
1965 WAS FROM 1985 BECAUSE YOU
DON'T HAVE INTERESTING EVENTS TO
CHART.
I CAN HAVE SOME SYMPATHY FOR IT
BUT ANYBODY WHO THINKS NOW IS
JUST AS BAD AS THE WAY IT WAS IN
1970 EXCEPT THAT MANORS HAVE
CHANGED, NO.
THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO SAID THAT
IN 1990 ABOUT 1970, THAT WAS
KIND OF TRUE.
BUT TIME PASSES.
IT'S EASIER TO BELIEVE THAT
CHANGE DOESN'T HAPPEN.
IN A WAY MORE TEMPTING AND MORE
FUN BECAUSE YOU HAVE A REASON TO
GET ANGRY THAN TO ALLOW CHANGE
SLOWLY AND TO WATCH IT HAPPEN
AND TO APPLAUD, YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE HAPPY THAT THINGS CHANGE.
BUT WE ARE TAUGHT TO THE
AUTHENTIC BLACK POSITION IS TO
PRETEND IT NEVER DOES.
>> Bill: WE AREN'T SAYING
THERE ISN'T STILL A GREAT DEAL
OF WORK TO BE DONE.
>> NOT SAYING IT AT ALL.
BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT'S
ON TWITTER.
"DON'T THEY KNOW ABOUT SYSTEMIC
RACISM?
"YES, I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT.
WHY IS IT NOT BLACK TO ADDRESS A
DEGREE, IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE
UNSOPHISTICATED WORDS LIKE
QUANTUM PHYSICS WHERE EVERYTHING
IS ON AND OFF?
THAT'S NOT HOW IT GOES.
WHEN YOU'RE DEALING WITH SOCIAL
HISTORY THERE IS THE ISSUE OF
DEGREE AND IF THAT MAKES ME A
WHITE SUPREMACIST TO SAY SO,
THAN I, JOHN McWHORTER, M A
WHITE SUPREMACIST AND YOU COULD
PUT US ON TWITTER BECAUSE I
EMBRACE DEGREE AND NUANCE.
>>>> Bill: OTHER THING ABOUT
RACE THAT WHITE PEOPLE CAN'T
TALK TO.
>> YOU DON'T HAVE EXPERIENCE >>
Bill: >> Bill: IT DOESN'T
ROB ME OF BEING ASANTE AND THE
PERSON BEING WHITE.
>> YOU CAN SAY NOTHING, THAT
MAKES ME FEEL GOOD BECAUSE THAT
MEANS I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS
TO TALK, HE COULD SEE WHERE THAT
COMES FROM BECAUSE YOU GET TO
EXPRESS YOURSELF AND YOU GET TO
NEVER BE TOLD YOU'RE WRONG.
IT'S CHILDISH AND IT'S SAD
ENOUGH WHEN A BLACK PERSON SAYS
THAT'S THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO
GO BUT THEN WHEN A WHITE PERSON
SAYS THAT'S PROGRESS, THAT'S
ENLIGHTENMENT TO PRETEND A WHITE
PERSON HAS NOTHING TO SAY, THAT
DIALOGUE WILL NEVER ADVANCE
ANYTHING.
TALK ABOUT NOT UNDERSTANDING
HISTORY, ALL OF THAT IS A LOT OF
FUN IN THE PRESENT, IT MAKES FOR
A GREAT TWITTER AND CATHARTIC
DISCUSSIONS BUT NOTHING WILL
EVER CHANGE.
WHEN YOU TELL PEOPLE THAT THEY
CAN'T TALK, WHAT THEY WILL DO IS
THINK AND GET ANGRY, YOU DON'T
GET RID OF WHAT THEY ARE
THINKING SO YOU HAVE TO ENGAGE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: YOU'VE MENTIONED
TWITTER, I'VE GOT TO GO BACK TO
THAT FOR A SECOND AS
DISAPPOINTED AS I AM IN THE
LIBERAL HALF OF AMERICA FOR NOT
STANDING UP TO TWITTER, IF YOU
LIKE TWITTER HAS COMPLETELY MADE
LIBERALS TH THERE BITCH.
YOU LOOK AT THE OSCARS, THE
OSCARS WAS A SHOW COMPLETELY
ORGANIZED AROUND THE PRINCIPLE
"DON'T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE
TWITTER MAD."
AND THEY STILL DID BY NOT GIVING
THE OSCAR --
>> THIS IS A SCARY TIME IN THAT
WAY BECAUSE IT'S THE WEIRDEST
THING ABOUT SOCIAL HISTORY AND
THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF WHY IT'S
COMPLICATED.
IN THE 70s AND 80s, THINKING
AMERICA AND BEYOND IT LEARNS TO
BE A RACIST IS A TERRIBLE THING,
EVERYONE THINKS TO BE A RACIST
IS ALMOST AS BAD AS BEING A
PEDOPHILE AND THAT'S GREAT, MOST
PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT'S
UNPRECEDENTED IN THE WHOLE
300,000 YEAR HISTORY OF THE
SPECIES OF THE SOCIETY WOULD
COME TO THAT REALIZATION, THEN
SOCIAL MEDIA COMES ALONG AND YOU
CAN SHAME PEOPLE, YOU HAVE A
WHOLE GROUP OF PEOPLE IT'S NOT
JUST WOKE PEOPLE, I DON'T HAVE A
PROBLEM WITH WOKE, WOKE PEOPLE
WHO ARE MEAN.
THE WOKE PEOPLE WHO ARE MEAN IF
YOU DON'T DO WHAT THEY SAY THEY
PUT YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND THEY
SAY "YOU'RE A RACIST."
AND THE PROBLEM IS THAT MOST OF
US ARE DEATHLY AFRAID OF BEING
CALLED A RACIST ON TWITTER.
YOU HAVE ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO
UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING YOU AND I
ARE SAYING -- THIS IS INDELICATE
BUT I CAN THINK OF ANOTHER
IMAGE, EVERYBODY IS PEEING IN
THEIR PANTS.
THIS IS A NATION ESPECIALLY
SINCE LAST SUMMER HAS SMELLED
LIKE YOU'RE IN ALL THE TIME,
THERE IS SO MUCH MENDACITY.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: AS SOMEONE WHO HAS
LIVED THROUGH A FEW DECADES NOW
I SEE THIS AS SO
COUNTERPRODUCTIVE, AS SO
DIFFERENT THAN THE WAY IT WAS
TEN YEARS AGO, 20 YEARS AGO, I
FEEL LIKE RACE RELATIONSHIPS
WERE BETTER BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE
INTERMARRYING MORE, MIXING MORE,
THOSE TABOOS WENT AWAY, JOKING
WITH EACH OTHER MORE.
HOW DO PEOPLE BOND?
THEY JOKE, THEY TALK, AND NOW WE
ARE ALL ON EGG SHELLS.
WHO MAKES A JOKE?
>> IT'S DIFFICULT, ONE IS AFRAID
TO DO IT IN CERTAIN PLACES AND
IT'S ALMOST EVERYWHERE.
IT'S SCARY, IT'S ODD TO.
PEOPLE SAY "HE'S CONSERVATIVE."
NO, BUT I AM BEGINNING TO THINK
I MISS 2004, 2005 BECAUSE RACE
RELATIONS WERE DIFFICULT THEN, I
WAS ALREADY WRITING ABOUT THEM
THEN, IT WAS AT LEAST A LITTLE
MORE HONEST AND A LITTLE MORE
PROGRESSIVE THAN WHAT HAS
HAPPENED ESPECIALLY SINCE LAST
SUMMER, A LOT OF IT STARTED
CREEPING IN AROUND 2014.
THERE IS SOMETHING THAT HAS GONE
REALLY WRONG AND I THINK THE
CATALYST IS THIS WEIRD THING
CALLED SOCIAL MEDIA.
IT USED TO BE IF YOU SAID
SOMETHING TERRIBLE PEOPLE WOULD
WRITE ABOUT IT IN ARTICLES.
PEOPLE WOULD SEND YOU NASTY
MAIL, IT WOULD BE DISCUSSED BUT
THERE WAS NO TWITTER IT COULD BE
DISCUSSED AND YOU CAN HAVE
PEOPLE DOG PILING.
ONCE YOU'VE GOTTEN THAT DEVICE
WHERE YOU ARE BEING CALLED
SOMETHING ON THIS THING EVERYONE
HAS ON THEIR PHONE, THAT'S
WONDERFUL IN MANY WAYS -- I'M AS
ADDICTED TO THIS AS ANYBODY ELSE
BUT IT MEANS YOU CAN BE
SERIOUSLY HURT IN A WAY YOU
COULDN'T BEFORE.
I USED TO GET HATE MAIL IN AN
ENVELOPE AND I WOULD OPEN IT AND
READ.
"YOU SUCK."
AND ONLY I KNEW AND I WOULD
THROW IT IN THE TRASH, NO YOU
DON'T GET THOSE ANYMORE BECAUSE
IT'S ON TWITTER.
IT WILL SAY YOU SUCK AND YOU
SAID YOU WERE A WHITE SUPREMACY
IS ON TV AND EVERYBODY SEES IT
AND IT GETS LIKED BY 10,000
PEOPLE, THAT'S HARD FOR MOST
PEOPLE UNLESS YOU ARE WEIRD LIKE
US AND YOU DON'T MIND BEING
HATED.
BUT MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO
HAVE THAT DISEASE.
SO WE ARE STUCK WHERE WE ARE.
>> Bill: KEEP FIGHTING THE
GOOD FIGHT.
I KNOW IT TAKES A LOT TO GET YOU
OUT OF YOUR READING CHAIR AND
YOUR PROFESSORSHIP, AND VERY
APPRECIATE IF YOU CAME OUT HERE
TO DO THIS FOR US AND I HOPE YOU
COME BACK.
>> I SHOULD ALSO SAY VERY
QUICKLY, NINE NASTY WORDS IS A
BOOK VERY RECENTLY, I LAUGH
SOMETIMES, IT WAS WRITTEN TO BE
A GOOD TIME.
I WROTE THAT, SO I CAN ALSO BE
FUNNY.
>> Bill: IT'S A GREAT BOOK,
YOU ARE A PROFESSOR.
THANK YOU JOHN.
LET'S MEET OUR PANEL.
♪ ♪
GREAT TO HAVE YOU ALL BACK.
HE'S THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR,
MEDIA STRATEGIST, AND CO-FOUNDER
OF THE LINCOLN PROJECT: RICK
WILSON.
AND OUR RETURNING CHAMPION.
SHE'S THE DEMOCRATIC
CONGRESSWOMAN WHO REPRESENTS
MICHIGAN'S 8TH DISTRICT:
REPRESENTATIVE ELISSA SLOTKIN.
GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
I'M NOT GOING TO CONTAIN MYSELF
ABOUT THE GOOD NEWS THAT WE ARE
IN THE YELLOW!
WE ARE IN THE YELLOW, THAT'S
MOSTLY FOR LOADING AND
UNLOADING.
I JUST WANT TO SAY YOU LOOK
AROUND THE WORLD, SOME COUNTRIES
ARE DOING HORRIBLY LIKE INDIA
AND SOME COUNTRIES LIKE ISRAEL
HAVE KILLED IT, ALMOST NO DEATHS
IN THE WEEK NOW.
WE ARE LOOKING MORE LIKE ISRAEL
THAN INDIA, AMERICA, WHO
WOULD'VE THOUGHT?
BIDEN HAS ONLY BEEN IN OFFICE
FIVE MONTHS.
OF WHAT DOES THIS REMIND ME OF
ONE THING WERE GOING COMPLETELY
TO SHIT AND THEN A DEMOCRAT GOT
ELECTED, OH, YEAH!
2009, THE ECONOMY WAS COMPLETELY
GOING INTO THE SHITTER AND NO
DRAMA TOOK OFFICE AND MADE THE
RIGHT CHOICES.
IT SAVED THE AUTO INDUSTRY WHEN
PEOPLE LIKE MITT ROMNEY SAID IN
MICHIGAN -- PASSED A STIMULUS
BILL THAT LOOKS PALTRY BY
TODAY'S STANDARDS BUT DID THE
JOB BECAUSE ONE PARTY I'M SORRY
IS A POLICY PARTY.
THEY ARE WALKS AND ONE PARTY IS
TROLLS.
WOULD YOU AGREE WITH THAT?
SPEAK OF THE PARTY I HELPED
BUILD OVER 30 YEARS HAS BECOME A
BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE
TRANSGRESSIVE, THEY WANT TO GET
OUT AND SWING THEIR DICK'S
AROUND AND HAVE PEOPLE YELL NUMB
AND SCREAM AT YOUR CANCELING ME
FOR BURNING THE HOUSE DOWN, THEY
ARE BURNING THE HOUSE DOWN FOR
THE MOST PART.
JOE BIDEN IS DOING A GOOD JOB IN
PART BECAUSE HE DOESN'T GET UP
EVERY MORNING AND THINK HOW MY
GOING TO SET THE WORLD ON FIRE
BY TWEETING SOME CRAZY SHIT?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> AND CAN I JUST SAY I MISS
THIS IDEA THAT WE CAN HAVE AN
IDEOLOGICAL DEBATE BETWEEN TWO
HEALTHY PARTIES.
THAT IS A GOOD THING, WE SHOULD
WANT A STRONG TWO PARTY SYSTEM.
RIGHT NOW I'M MISSING WHAT THE
IDEOLOGICAL CENTER IS OF THE
PARTY.
>> Bill: WE NEED IT.
>> THERE IS NO CENTER, IT'S ALL
TRUMPED COME ALL THE TIME.
>> I MISS THAT, I THINK THERE'S
REPUBLICANS I REPRESENT A LOT OF
THEM, THEY'RE LOOKING FOR A
HOME.
>> Bill: IT'S NOT LIKE
REPUBLICANS DIDN'T USED TO KNOW
HOW TO DO THIS, GE GEORGE BUSH E
FIRST, I WASN'T INTO THEIR
POLITICS BUT THEY WERE PRAGMATIC
PEOPLE WHO HANDLED PROBLEMS, THE
BERLIN WALL FELL, THEY HANDLED
IT IN A GOOD WAY.
LIZ CHENEY, LET'S TALK ABOUT
THIS.
52% OF REPUBLICANS IN WYOMING,
HER STATE, WYOMING HAS LIKE NINE
PEOPLE IN IT.
52% OF THEM SAY THEY WILL NOT
VOTE FOR HER IN THE PRIMARY NO
MATTER WHO RUNS AGAINST HER
BECAUSE -- I FEEL LIKE THIS IS
THE PROBLEM.
IT'S NOT EVEN THE MAIN
REPUBLICAN PARTY, IT'S LIKE IN
THE STATE LEVEL, IT'S GETTING
PRIMARY IT, IT'S THE ACTIVISTS.
SHE IS ON THE WRONG SIDE OF
REALITY, SHE'S PRO REALITY.
ONE GUY WHO IS NOT OUR TEAM WON
THE ELECTION AND THEY ARE NOT
PRO REALITY.
SO SHE HAS GOT TO GO.
>> SHE REPRESENTS SOMETHING SO
DANGEROUS TO THEM BECAUSE TO BE
A SUPPORTER OF THE REPUBLICAN
PARTY YOU ARE ALL IN ON THE MYTH
THAT TRUMPED WON THE ELECTION,
YOU ARE IN ON THE LIES AND
SUPPORT YOU HAVE TO BUILD A
SCAFFOLDING OF LIES EVERY DAY
THE PYRAMID OF BULLSHIT HAS TO
GET TALLER AND YOU HAVE TO SAY
THAT WAS ALWAYS THE CASE AND SHE
WON'T DO IT.
SHE JUST WON'T DO IT.
AS SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE
CHENEY'S, THESE PEOPLE, THEY
DON'T FUCK AROUND, THEY ARE
SERIOUS PEOPLE, WHETHER YOU LOVE
THEM OR HATE THEM THEY ARE
SERIOUS PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN
REALITY.
THE WAY I LOOK AT IT, SHE IS
GOING TO LOSE HER CONFERENCE
CHAIR -- THAT'S NOT ABOUT HER.
>> Bill: SHE'S GOING TO LOOSE
HER SEAT.
>> IT'S NOT ABOUT HER, SHE'S NOT
WILLING TO SWALLOW THE POISON
AND SAY IT TASTES LIKE KOOL-AID,
IT'S NOT, IT IS KILLING THIS
PARTY, IT IS KILLING THIS
COUNTRY.
IF WE ALLOW THIS MYTH OF TRUMPS
ALLEGED VICTORY WITH BAMBOO
FIBERS AND WHATEVER FICTIONAL
HORSE SHIPPED THEY ARE GOING TO
PULL OUT TODAY --
[APPLAUSE]
SHE REPRESENTS SOMETHING THAT IS
OF VANISHING SPECIES, IT'S LIKE
WATCHING THE LAST WOOLLY MAMMOTH
WANDERING THE TAIGA.
THOSE REPUBLICANS AREN'T GOING
TO SURVIVE.
>> Bill: I HOPE THAT'S NOT THE
CASE BUT LET ME JUST SAY THIS,
TO A REPUBLICAN.
>> FORMER.
>> Bill: YOU'RE NOT A
REPUBLICAN ANYMORE?
>> I'M A REGISTERED INDEPENDENT.
I VOTED AGAINST TRUMP AND THE
PRIMARY AND THE GENERAL AND IN
THE LAST ELECTION I HAD TO BE
ABLE TO VOTE AGAINST THAT FUCKER
TWICE.
THEN I REREGISTERED.
>> Bill: BUT THAT'S TRUMP,
YOU'RE TALKING TO SOMEBODY WHO
WAS VERY HARD ON GEORGE BUSH AND
MITT ROMNEY AND ALL THE
REPUBLICANS OVER THE YEARS,
BASICALLY BUT I'VE COME TO
UNDERSTAND THAT PEOPLE LIKE LIZ
CHENEY AND GEORGE BUSH AND
MITT ROMNEY AND MIKE PENCE WHO
COULD HAVE DONE THE WRONG THING
THAT JANUARY 6 DAY, HE DIDN'T.
THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS AS I
WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO MY
DEMOCRATIC FRIENDS, FOR A
REPUBLICAN.
THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD
WHO JUST DON'T SEE THE WORLD THE
WAY YOU DO, THEY JUST DON'T.
IT'S A CHIP IN OUR BRAIN.
YOU CAN'T EXPECT, I WAS ALWAYS
SAYING WHAT IS THE SAFE WORD FOR
REPUBLICANS WHEN TRUMP WAS
PRESIDENT, WHAT IS THE ONE THING
WHERE HE WILL DRAW THE LINE
WHERE THEY WILL SAY OKAY,
STOP -- SOME OF THEM DID HAVE
IT.
LIZ CHENEY HAD IT, MIKE PENCE
HADDAD, MET ROMN ROMNEY HAD IT,U
HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT.
YOU CAN'T HATE THE MITT ROMNEY,
CHENEY, GEORGE BUSH, YOU HEAR
LIBERAL PEOPLE SAY I HATE THEM,
I WANT THEM TO DIE, THAT'S
GREAT, BUT THEY OWN SELF
REPORTING.
>> Bill: I DON'T THINK IT
HELPS A LOT OF PEOPLE ON THE
LEFT TO SUBMIT ROMNEY'S EXEC
LIKE DONALD TRUMP, NO HE'S NOT.
HE'S NOT EVEN IN THE CATEGORY.
>> THERE HAS TO BE A DISTINCTION
BETWEEN PEOPLE WHO HAVE TOTALLY
DIFFERENT VIEWS THAN YOU AND
PEOPLE WHO ARE FUNDAMENTALLY NOT
ACCEPTING OF DEMOCRACY WHO ARE
TRYING TO UNDO DEMOCRACY.
THAT IS DIFFERENT, THAT'S MY
LINE.
>> Bill: THAT'S WHERE THESE
PEOPLE, CHENEY AND BUSH, THEY
WOULD NOT BEND THE KNEE.
>> YOU DON'T GET TO CHANGE THE
RULES OF THE GAME IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE GAME BECAUSE YOU THINK
YOU'RE LOSING, THAT'S WHAT THEY
ARE TRYING TO DO AT THE STATE
LEVEL IN THE FEDERAL LEVEL, WE
HAVE TO DRAW A BRIGHT RED LINE
BETWEEN PEOPLE WHO MAY BE FISCAL
CONSERVATIVES FOR SOCIAL
CONSERVATIVES, PEOPLE LIKE MY
IN-LAWS WHO I LOVE DEEPLY WHO
WILL NEVER BELIEVE IN DESTROYING
THE DEMOCRATIC SYSTEM WE ALL
LOVE, NEVER.
>> Bill: IN-LAWS?
IT'S AN ISSUE IN A LOT OF
HOUSEHOLDS, IN-LAWS, I'M
IMAGINING.
IT'S AN INTERESTING POLL THIS
WEEK, SOMETIMES I THINK TRUMP IS
NEVER GOING TO GO AWAY, I ALWAYS
CALL HIM THE SHARK THAT'S OUT TO
SEE, HE'S COMING BACK, WE NEED A
BIGGER BOAT -- BUT THIS WEEK,
THIS IS A POLL THEY HAVE DONE A
NUMBER OF TIMES.
REPUBLICANS: HOW MANY SUPPORT
THE PARTY AND THEIR POLICIES
MORE THAN TRUMP?
FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT IS A
MAJORITY, 50% SUPPORT THE THE
PARTY MORE THAN TRUMP, THE
LEGACY THAT TRUMP LEFT US THE
BIG LIE ABOUT THE ELECTION THAT
LIVES ON.
AT 70% REPUBLICANS THINK THAT
BIDEN IS BASICALLY AN
ILLEGITIMATE PRESIDENT BECAUSE
HE DIDN'T GET ENOUGH VOTES.
>> IT'S A COMPLICATED THING
ABOUT ELECTIONS, YOU HAVE TO GET
MORE VOTES.
IT'S A WEIRD RULE.
>> Bill: IS IT POSSIBLE TRUMP
IS FADING?
THE LIE IS FADING, DO THEY WANT
HIM AS THE FACE OF THE MIDTERMS?
IS IT POSSIBLE THERE ARE
REPUBLICANS OUT THERE A LOT OF
THEM WHO ARE LIKE HE'S A LOSER,
HE DID LOSE.
[APPLAUSE]
IT'S A LOT OF BAGGAGE, IT'S A
LOT OF DRAMA.
NOW THAT WE'VE SEEN SIX MONTHS
WITHOUT THE TWEETS IN THE MEAN
GIRL SHIT AND THE CRAZINESS AND
THE REDRAWING WEATHER MAPS,
MAYBE THEY LOVE THIS NEW BOY
RON DeSANTIS IN FLORIDA.
IF RON DeSANTIS RAN AGAINST
TRUMP NOW, HE'S HARVARD, HE'S
GAIL, NAVY -- AGAIN, NOT MY
POLITICS BUT IF HE RAN AGAINST
TRUMP AND THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE
IN THE WINGS, THEY DON'T WANT TO
WAIT FOR TRUMP BECAUSE HE WILL
LIVE TO A MILLION.
HE'S A COMPLETED CITY ROACH,
NOTHING CAN KILL HIM.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
COVID COULDN'T TAKE THEM OUT,
THE WORST DIET IN THE WORLD,
DOESN'T MATTER.
IF HE'S GOING TO BE THERE
FOREVER.
I DON'T KNOW IF RON DeSANTIS
WANTS TO WAIT FOR DONALD TRUMP'S
BLESSING AND I WONDER IF
REPUBLICANS DON'T WANT TRUMP
WITHOUT HIM.
>> THEY WANT TRUMP, THESE ARE MY
FORMER PEOPLE AND I KNOW THE
TRIBE.
ESPECIALLY DOWN AT THE
GRASSROOTS LEVEL -- THEY MAY
LOOK AT RON DeSANTIS AND THINK
HE CAN BE SOMEWHAT ACCEPTABLE
BUT THE MINUTE HE GOES TO IOWA
OR NEW HAMPSHIRE OR
SOUTH CAROLINA AND TRUMP SEES IT
ON FOX AND LOSES HIS SHIT AND
SAYS "WEAK LOSER RON DeSANTIS,
HE SHOULD BE HATED, HE'S NOT A
TOUGH MANLY MAN LIKE ME."
IT WILL DESTROY THE GUYS CAREER.
IF DONALD TRUMP IS NOT EATEN BY
AN ALLIGATOR, HE IS THE
PRESUMPTIVE NOMINEE FOR 24.
>> NOT ONLY IS HE WAITING AND
FIGURING IT OUT IN THE WINGS,
THE STYLE OF POLITICS THAT HE
MAINSTREAMED IS ALIVE AND WELL
CERTAINLY AT HOME WHERE I AM.
IT'S BASICALLY NO FACTS, NO
TRUTH, NO SHAME.
YOU CAN DO SO MUCH IF YOU DON'T
HAVE ANY SHAPE.
IF YOU DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE
SAY ABOUT YOU, IF YOU DON'T CARE
THEY CATCH YOU IN A LIVE, IT'S
AMAZING WHAT YOU COULD DO AS A
POLITICIAN.
I THINK THAT STYLE I SEE A TON
OF PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO BE
MTRUMP AT HOME IN MICHIGAN THEY
THINK GREAT, POPULISM, NO SHAME
IN MY, I'M IN.
>> Bill: I HOPE YOU'RE WRONG
ABOUT THAT BUT I WOULD NEVER BET
AGAINST DONALD TRUMP, YOU'RE
RIGHT.
THEY THREW HIM OFF FACEBOOK,
THIS WEEK FACEBOOK HAD AN
OVERSIGHT BOARD --
HOW BRAVE.
[LAUGHTER]
AN OVERSIGHT BOARD OF ACTIVISTS,
LAWYERS, JOURNALISTS, EVERYONE
KEEPS PASSING THIS HOT POTATO.
HERE'S THE INCONVENIENT TRUTH.
SINCE TRUMP HAS BEEN THROWN OFF
FACEBOOK AND TWITTER, THINGS GOT
WAY BETTER IN THIS COUNTRY.
IT DID THE ENORMOUS GOOD.
[APPLAUSE]
IT BRINGS UP ALL SORTS OF REALLY
INCONVENIENT FREE-SPEECH ISSUES.
THE BOARD, HOWEVER THESE PEOPLE
ARE, THEY RULED THAT HE'S OFF
FOR SIX MONTHS.
FACEBOOK JAIL FOR SIX MONTHS
BECAUSE HE CREATED AN
ENVIRONMENT WHERE A SERIOUS RISK
OF VIOLENCE WAS POSSIBLE -- YES,
THAT'S WHAT HE'S TRYING TO DO --
BUT I DON'T WANT THE GOVERNMENT
DOING THIS, I ALSO DON'T WANT
FACEBOOK DOING THIS.
[APPLAUSE]
IT'S ONE OF THOSE --
>> FACEBOOK'S POWER IN OUR
SOCIETY HAS BECOME SO UNTETHERED
AND IT IS SO VASTLY BEYOND WHAT
ANYBODY COULD HAVE ANTICIPATED
BUT HERE'S THE THING.
DONALD TRUMP HAS BENEFITED FROM
BEING OFF TWITTER AND FACEBOOK,
I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
IT'S LIKE THEY LOCKED THE LIQUOR
CABINET AND THEY SLAPPED HIM IN
A STRAITJACKET FOR SIX MONTHS.
SO HIS MINIONS CAN REMEMBER THE
GOOD THINGS AND NOT THE CRAZY
TWEETS IN THE SHIT STORMS IN THE
LATE NIGHT BULLSHIT.
I THINK ONE OF THE REASONS TRUMP
WILL RUN, HE IS ADDICTED TO THAT
SWEET, SWEET TWITTER SMACK, HE
LOVES THAT STUFF.
HE WILL RUN IN PART BECAUSE AS A
CANDIDATE THEY WILL HAVE TO LET
HIM BACK ON THE PLATFORMS.
THAT'S ONE OF THE MOTIVATING
FACTORS IN HIS HEAD.
FACEBOOK IS AN OPEN SEWER OF
PROPAGANDA AND INSANITY AND IF
YOU SEEK OUT PROPAGANDA AND
INSANITY YOU WILL GET MORE OF
IT, THEY WILL SHOVEL IT INTO YOU
AS FAST AS THEY CAN.
THAT IS A SYSTEM -- GOVERNMENT
CAN'T FIX IT BUT FACEBOOK IS NOT
GOING TO FIX ITSELF IN THIS
OVERSIGHT BOARD IS A CLOWN SHOW.
>> Bill: I WISH THE BLUE
RIBBON PANEL HAD MADE SOME NEW
RULES, TO COIN A PHRASE --
HERE'S THE THING.
JUST THE BIG THINGS WE THROW YOU
OFF FOR.
LIKE SAYING "DEMOCRACY DOESN'T
EXIST IN AMERICA ANYMORE."
THINGS ALL REASONABLE PEOPLE CAN
AGREE ON AND NOT MISSION CREEP.
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
>> LET'S ESTABLISH THAT FACEBOOK
HAS CREATED A BOARD SO THEY CAN
PUNT TO SOMEBODY ELSE, THEY ARE
A PRIVATE COMPANY.
MARK ZUCKERBERG COULD PUT ON A
POLICY TOMORROW IF YOU WANTED TO
AFTER JANUARY 6 THEY FIGURED OUT
THAT WAS PRETTY BAD OF US AND
THEY SWUNG THE PENDULUM THE
OTHER WAY.
I THINK FOR ME ON FREE SPEECH IT
IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE, YOU HAVE TO
BE CAREFUL.
THE THING I CAN SUPPORT WITH
DONALD TRUMP STAYING OFF TWITTER
IS THAT HE HAD BOTH THE CAPACITY
TO GET THE HUGE NUMBERS OF
PEOPLE AND HE OPENLY INCITED
VIOLENCE.
IF ANYONE WHO IS INCITED
VIOLENCE SHOULD BE KICKED OFF,
THAT IS WHERE YOUR FREE-SPEECH
ENDS.
ANYBODY.
LEFT OR RIGHT.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: THE TRUTH IS HE
INCITED VIOLENCE NOT FROM THAT
ONE THING HE SAID -- OF VIOLENCE
WAS INCITED BY HIS ENTIRE TENURE
IN OFFICE WHEN HE SAID IF I
DON'T WIN IT'S A RIGGED
ELECTION, THERE'S ONLY TWO
OUTCOMES, I EITHER WIN OR IT'S A
CHEAT.
THAT'S WHAT INCITED THE
VIOLENCE.
WHAT IF SOMEBODY GETS ON THERE,
A CONGRESSMAN COULD A LOCAL
CONGRESSMAN COULD SAY WE SHOULD
ABOLISH THE POLICE.
>> THEY HAVE.
>> Bill: THAT SOUNDS A GOOD
COULD CAUSE SOME VIOLENCE, WHERE
YOU DRAW THE LINE?
>> THIS ISN'T ABOUT AESTHETICS
OF TRUMP, HIS AESTHETICS ARE
AWFUL AND GHASTLY BUT THE THING
THAT BOTHERS ME IS SOME DAY
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A SMARTER
VERSION OF TRUMP, A RADICAL
AUTHORITARIAN POPULIST WHO IS
GOING TO SAY I KNOW HOW TO NOT
SAY THE FEW KEYWORDS THAT WILL
TRIGGER FACEBOOK TO THROW ME OFF
BUT I KNOW HOW TO USE THE
AMPLIFICATION MECHANISMS OF
FACEBOOK TO MAKE PEOPLE THINK
IT'S OKAY TO L LOAD PEOPLE AND
BOXCARS WE DON'T LIKE THEIR
POLITICS.
THAT'S WHAT FACEBOOK IT'S
DESIGNED TO DO, DESIGNED TO
MOTIVATE PEOPLE IN A WAY THAT IS
MENTALLY IRRESISTIBLE AND THAT
IS A DANGEROUS TOOL ESPECIALLY
IF SOMEONE MORE SOPHISTICATED
THAN TRUMP COMES ALONG IN THE
IMMEDIATE FUTURE AND THERE WILL
BE SOMEONE MORE SOPHISTICATED
THAN TRUMP.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: IT'S GRADUATION
SEASON AND FOR MANY YEARS WE
HAVE SHOWN THE AUDIENCE THE TOP
OF THE GRADUATION CAPS AT KIDS
WHERE, LAST YEAR THERE WAS NO
CEREMONY SO WE COULDN'T DO IT.
THIS YEAR THEY ARE BACK AND THEY
ALWAYS WRITE A MESSAGE,
SOMETIMES VERY BASIC LIKE "HIRE
ME" OR "THANKS MOM AND DAD,"
SOMETIMES WE SAW MORE ELABORATE.
WITH LAST YEAR BEING MORE WEIRD
THEY ARE A LITTLE DIFFERENT,
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE SOME OF
THEM?
I KNEW YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE
SOME OF THEM.
VAXXED, WAXED AND RELAXED, CALL
ME, PORNHUB!
[LAUGHTER]
HIRE ME SO I CAN REPORT YOU.
[LAUGHTER]
I BARELY GOT A BA BUT I IDENTIFY
AS A HEART SURGEON.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
THANKS, FAKE WATER POLO
SCHOLARSHIP!
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
COLLEGE RADICAL, FUTURE KAREN.
[LAUGHTER]
IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU'RE
VIOLATING MY SAFE.
SPACE.
[LAUGHTER]
CAME FOR A DEGREE, CAME HARDER
FOR MY PROFESSOR.
TERRIBLE, WHO WROTE THAT?
[LAUGHTER]
AND MY FAVORITE:
I NEVER DID FIND THE LIBRARY.
[LAUGHTER]
I HATE TO BE THE ONE ALWAYS
PICKING ON GEN Z IN THE
MILLENNIALS BUT FRANKLY SOMEONE
HAS TO BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING
NUTS.
THERE'S A VIDEO THE CIA PUT OUT
AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE CIA, YOU
DID THREE TOURS AS A CIA ANALYST
IN A RACK, THAT IS SERIOUS
SERVICE TO YOUR COUNTRY.
AND I WOULD LOVE TO GET YOUR
OPINION ON THIS.
IT'S A LITTLE LONGER, WE CUT IT
TOGETHER SO THESE ARE THE MAIN
POINTS.
THIS IS A RECRUITING VIDEO THAT
WAS ON YOUTUBE, IT HAS BEEN
WIDELY CRITICIZED I GUESS SOME
PEOPLE LIKED IT BUT LET'S SHOW
YOU WHAT IT IS, THIS IS REAL,
THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
IT'S A YOUTUBE RECRUITING VIDEO
FROM THE CIA, TAKE A LOOK.
>> I AM PERFECTLY MADE, I CAN
WAX ELOQUENT ON COMPLEX LEGAL
ISSUES IN ENGLISH WHILE ALSO
BELTING [SPEAKING SPANISH]
I'M A WOMAN OF COLOR, I'M A MOM,
I'M A CISGENDER MILLENNIAL WHO
HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH ANXIETY
DISORDER, I DID NOT SNEAK INTO
CIA, MY EMPLOYMENT DID NOT SLIP
TO THE CRACKS, I'M TIRED OF
FEELING LIKE I AM SUPPOSED TO
APOLOGIZE RATHER THAN INTOXICATE
PEOPLE WITH MY EFFORT AND
BRILLIANCE.
IF I AM PROUD OF ME, FULL.
>> Bill: WHAT IS WRONG WITH
THIS GENERATION?
DOES EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM HAVE
TO BE REPORTED LIKE THEY THE
MOST INTERESTING PERSON IN THE
WORLD, DO WE WANT TO SOMEONE IN
THE CIA THIS SELF-INVOLVED?
[APPLAUSE]
>> AS THE CIA OFFICER IN THE
ROOM I WATCH THIS A COUPLE DAYS
AGO AND I SAID I DON'T KNOW WHO
THEY ARE TRYING TO APPEAL TO
BECAUSE THE PEOPLE I KNOW WHO
ARE INTERESTED IN WORKING TO
SERVE THEIR COUNTRY ARE
INTERESTED IN THE MISSION THAT
IS BIGGER THAN THEMSELVES.
>> Bill: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!
[APPLAUSE]
THERE IS AN INDULGENCE ABOUT
THAT KIND OF THING BROADLY WHERE
IT'S YOUR IDENTIFIERS FOR
WHATEVER CHARACTERISTICS YOU
HAVE BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAN
THE WORK YOU'RE GOING TO DO.
AND I THINK -- THE GREATEST
GENERATION IS LEAVING US NOW BUT
THOSE ARE PEOPLE WHO DID NOT GO
AND VOLUNTEER AFTER THE JAPANESE
BOMBED PEARL HARBOR OR THE SWEPT
ACROSS EUROPE, THEY DIDN'T WAIT
IN THE RECRUITING LINE TO TALK
ABOUT A SPECIAL INDIVIDUAL
CHARACTERISTICS, THEY ARE LIKE
"LET ME GO KILL.
"AND SOMETIME YOU WANT TO KILL,
KILL BAD GUYS.
>> I HAVE A LOT OF YOUNG PEOPLE
WORK FOR ME I SPENT MY TIME WITH
A LOT OF YOUNG PEOPLE I THINK
THIS MISSES THE MARK, I THINK
THEY ARE UNDERESTIMATING THE
AVERAGE YOUNG PERSON.
>> Bill: I COULDN'T AGREE
MORE.
>> I HOPE SO.
>> Bill: EVEN IF THIS WASN'T
JUST ABOUT THE CIA, QUOTE FROM
IT, THE FIRST LINE "I AM
PERFECTLY MADE."
THIS IS BAD ADVICE ANY TIME.
THIS IS WHY WE HAVE AN OBESITY
PROBLEM IN THIS COUNTRY, THIS IS
WHY WE HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS IN
THIS COUNTRY.
WHY COULD THERE BE ANYTHING
WRONG WITH ME?
I ME.
IF TERRIBLE ATTITUDE.
>> EXCEPT YOU, BILL.
>> Bill: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> YOUR PERFECT!
>> Bill: I DETECT SOME SARCASM
THERE!
>> MOVING ALONG.
>> Bill: I'M NOT PERFECT BUT
I'M RIGHT ABOUT A LOT OF SHIT
THE PEOPLE WON'T TALK ABOUT,
LIKE THIS.
"I'M A WOMAN OF COLOR, I'M A
MOM, I'M A CISGENDER MILLENNIAL"
IS A SEDATING APP?
WHO'S BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH A
GENERAL ANXIETY DISORDER, DO I
WANT THAT IN THE CIA?
LEASE TO THROW YOU OUT OF THE
ARMY FOR FLAT FEET.
I DID NOT SNEAK INTO THE CIA,
WHO SAID YOU DID TO?
SUCH DRAMA QUEEN SPIRIT OF "I'M
TIRED OF FEELING LIKE I'M NOT
SUPPOSED TO APOLOGIZE THAT SHE
WAS MAKING YOU?"
I'D RATHER INTOXICATE PEOPLE
WITH MY BRILLIANCE, WHO RAISE
THESE JELLYFISH?
MOVING ON.
SO HERE'S ANOTHER ISSUE I'M
RIGHT ABOUT.
POPULATION, THE CENSUS CAME OUT
LAST WEEKEND WE HAVE THE LOWEST
POPULATION GROWTH IN LIKE 100
YEARS.
THE NUMBERS -- BIRTHRATES 19%
DOWN SINCE 2007.
4% DOWN IN 2020.
ALL ECONOMISTS WILL SAY THIS IS
A TERRIBLE THING BECAUSE EVERY
ECONOMY NO MATTER WHAT IT IS IS
BUILT ON THIS IDEA THAT YOU HAVE
TO KEEP REPLACING WORKERS -- I
DON'T KNOW HOW LONG WE CAN KEEP
PRETENDING THAT WE CAN KEEP
ADDING PEOPLE BECAUSE IT'S GOOD
FOR THE ECONOMY.
WE ALREADY DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH
RESOURCES FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE
HERE NOW.
THIS IS GREAT NEWS THAT THE
POPULATION IS GOING DOWN.
GREAT NEWS, FULL.
>> THIS IS HAPPENING GLOBALLY,
THE WORLD POPULATION GROWTH IS
GOING TO PEAK AROUND 2050, 2070
AND BE ON A LONG SLOW DECLINE.
AT THE END OF THE DAY THE
CARRYING CAPACITY OF THE WORLD
IS -- WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO DO A
LOT OF TRICKS AND TWEAKS ON IT
BUT IT'S PRETTY CLOSE TO
CARRYING CAPACITY IN A LOT OF
PLACES IN THE WORLD WE DON'T
HAVE A LOT OF LUXURY ON THAT.
YOU DON'T WANT YOUR POPULATION
TO CRASH OUT IN ZERO, JAPAN IS
NOT GOING TO EXIST IN 150 YEARS.
>> Bill: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT?
>> THEY ARE WAY BELOW POPULATION
REPLACEMENT.
>> Bill: LIKE YOU CAN PREDICT
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IN 150
YEARS.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
>> IS NOT LIKE THE 19TH CENTURY
ANYMORE.
>> Bill: TOO MANY ARE DATING
THEIR PHONES, BUT THERE WILL BE
SOME NEW JAPANESE PEOPLE.
>> SOME.
>> Bill: SOME.
>> I INTERPRET IT DIFFERENTLY, I
KNOW THIS IS ONE OF YOUR ISSUES
BUT I READ IT AS -- THE THING I
HEAR EVERY DAY IS PEOPLE MAKING
AN ECONOMIC DECISION NOT TO HAVE
CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY CAN'T
AFFORD IT, BECAUSE THEY AREN'T
DOING AS WELL AS THEIR PARENTS
AND THEY CAN'T PROVIDE FOR THEIR
KIDS.
I SAW IT AS AN ECONOMIC DECISION
IN ADDITION TO DATING THEIR
PHONES.
>> Bill: YOU COULD HAVE ONE
KID OR TWO.
AS LONG AS YOU DON'T HAVE FIVE
OR SIX.
>> I JUST DON'T THINK WE ARE
GOING TO GET INTO THAT MOUTHY
WAS THE INVASION OF THE WORLD
WITH 20 BILLION PEOPLE WERE NOT
GOING TO GET THERE.
>> Bill: THAT'S CERTAINLY
WHERE WE ARE HEADING.
>> IT'S STARTED TO TAPER OFF IN
A LOT OF COUNTRIES.
>> THE MORE TECHNOLOGICALLY
ADVANCED THE COUNTRY BECOMES,
THE LESS KIDS.
>> Bill: YES.
THANK YOU.
NOW IT'S TIME FOR NEW RULES!
MY NEW RULES, NOT THE REPUBLICAN
NEW RULES.
NEW RULE: SINCE JOSH DUGGAR OF
FAMED DUGGAR FAMILY, USED TO
WORK FOR THE SUPER CHRISTIAN
FAMILY RESEARCH COUNCIL, AND HE
JUST GOT ARRESTED FOR KIDDIE
PORN, SOMEONE HAS TO TELL HIM
THAT'S NOT WHAT WE MEANT BY
"FAMILY RESEARCH."
AND THAT'S CERTAINLY NOT WHAT
ANYBODY MEANT BY. "19 KIDS AND
COUNTING."
[LAUGHTER]
NEW RULE: ANIMAL EXPERTS MUST
TELL ME IF REGULAR DOGS ARE
AFRAID OF POLICE DOGS.
[LAUGHTER]
WHEN THEY SEE ONE BEHIND THEM,
DO THEY SHIT THEIR PANTS AND
THINK "OH FUCK, I KNOW HE'S
GOING TO ASK ME, "HAVE YOU BEEN
DRINKING OUT OF THE TOILET
TONIGHT, SIR?""
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
NEW RULE: NOW THAT SCIENTISTS
ARE MAKING EMBRYOS OUT OF HUMANS
AND MONKEY CELLS, PEOPLE CAN
KNOCK OFF
HAVING GENDER REVEAL PARTIES.
[LAUGHTER]
PFIZER IS MAKING MONKEY PEOPLE.
IT'S NOT THAT IMPRESSIVE THAT
YOUR BABY HAS BALLS.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
NEW RULE: JOE BIDEN'S
INFRASTRUCTURE PLAN HAS TO
INCLUDE MONEY FOR A FULL SIZED
JIMMY AND ROSALYN CARTER.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
>> THAT'S SO MEAN.
THE CAMERA ANGLE.
>> Bill: MY QUESTION FOR THE
CARTER'S ISN'T WHAT'S YOUR
SECRET TO LONGEVITY?
IT'S, "ARE YOU SURE YOUR
CARETAKERS HAVEN'T BEEN THROWING
YOU IN THE DRYER?
NEW RULE: MOMS
EVERYWHERE HAVE TO ADMIT THAT
THESE GOAT PHOTOS PERFECTLY
ILLUSTRATE WHAT YOU WANT FOR
MOTHER'S DAY.
FOR ONE GODDAM MINUTE, COULD YOU
JUST GET THE KIDS OFF MY BACK?
AND FINALLY, NEW RULE.
REPUBLICANS CAN'T SPEND DECADES
CHASTISING LIBERALS FOR BEING
TOO PERMISSIVE ABOUT SEX AND
DRUGS AND THEN BE COMPLETELY
SILENT ABOUT MATT GAETZ.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE BEEN
FOLLOWING THE WHOLE MATT GAETZ
SAGA, BUT HE'S THE REPUBLICAN
CONGRESSMAN FROM FLORIDA WHO
ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE HE'S SAYING
"EAT IT, NERD," AND WHO HAS BEEN
EMBROILED IN A SEX AND DRUGS
SCANDAL THE LAST TWO MONTHS.
HERE'S CNN ON A NIGHT OUT WITH
MATT GAETZ: "THE PARTYGOERS, AT
TIMES DRESSED IN FORMAL WEAR
FROM A POLITICAL EVENT THEY'D
JUST LEFT, MINGLED AND SHARED
DRUGS LIKE COCAINE AND ECSTASY.
SOME HAD SEX."
OKAY, WILD, HOTEL-SUITE PARTIES?
THAT'S OUR THING.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
DEMOCRATS ARE THE PARTY OF FREE
LOVE AND FUN AND FORGETTING
WHERE YOU PARKED YOUR CAR.
REPUBLICANS CAN'T BE THE
"CONSERVATIVE," STICK UP YOUR
ASS PARTY AND THEN TAKE OUR
DRUGS AND FUCK OUR WOMEN.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
AMERICAN GOVERNMENT IS LIKE A
MULLET: REPUBLICANS DO BUSINESS
IN THE FRONT, DEMOCRATS PARTY IN
THE BACK.
JFK USED TO HAVE NUDE POOL
PARTIES IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
NOW THE POLITICIAN WHO COMES
CLOSEST TO CARRYING ON THAT
LEGACY IS MATT GAETZ?
NO.
AND HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE.
FORMER HOUSE SPEAKER AND A GUY
WHO LOVED HIS LIQUOR JOHN
BOEHNER, NOW SELLS POT FOR A
LIVING.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
MY OLD JOB.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE IS
REPORTEDLY INTO "POLYAMOROUS
TANTRIC-SEX," AND ASHLI BABBITT,
THE MAGA WARRIOR WHO DIED
STORMING THE CAPITOL TURNS OUT
TO HAVE BEEN IN A THROUPLE WITH
HER HUSBAND AND ANOTHER WOMAN.
AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THIS
GUY.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
EVEN THEIR SPIRITUAL ADVISERS
ARE FREAKS: JERRY FALWELL JR.
APPARENTLY LIKES TO RELAX AFTER
A HARD DAY AT BIBLE COLLEGE BY
WATCHING THE POOL BOY DO THE
MISSUS.
I KNOW REPUBLICANS ARE LAZY AND
THEY LOVE OUTSOURCING, BUT COME
ON.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
AND HERE HE IS ON A YACHT
PROUDLY POSING WITH A "FRIEND"
WITH THEIR PANTS UNZIPPED.
THAT'S SOME FRIEND.
THIS IS A LONG WAY FROM WHEN HIS
FATHER MADE A NATIONAL ISSUE
THAT ONE OF THE TELETUBBIES WAS
PURPLE, AND SO DUH, GAY.
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT HAPPENED?
REPUBLICANS ALWAYS SOUNDED LIKE
THIS: >> NOW BECAUSE POLITICO
DID AN EXPOSE ON HIS LAP DANCE
WITH A NAKED LADY IN A STRIP
CLUB IS NOT THE KIND OF PERSON
YOU CAN ASK YOUR SISTER TO VOTE
FOR ANYMORE.
>> Bill: NAKED LADY LAP DANCES
DANCES!
THAT'S THE REPUBLICAN PARTY I
KNOW!
SO UPTIGHT THEY COULD GRIND
DIAMONDS IN THEIR ASS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WHILE LIBERALS USED OUR ASSES
THE WAY GOD INTENDED: TO SMUGGLE
DRUGS.
YOU COULD ALWAYS COUNT ON
REPUBLICANS TO BE THE
FUDDY-DUDDIES, THE WET BLANKETS,
THE BORES.
THEY WERE THE MORAL MAJORITY.
THE "BOOK OF VIRTUES."
NIXON STARTED THE WAR ON DRUGS.
AND THIS LADY NEVER STOPPED
SPITTING HER CATCHPHRASE ABOUT
IT.
>> JUST SAY NO.
JUST SAY NO.
>> Bill: "JUST SAY NO."
HER HUSBAND HAD A COMMISSION TO
ROOT OUT PORNOGRAPHY.
IF IT WAS FUN, REPUBLICANS WERE
AGAINST IT.
THEY GOT APOPLECTIC OVER CLINTON
GETTING A BLOWJOB.
THEY INVENTED ABSTINENCE ONLY
EDUCATION.
MITT ROMNEY HAS NEVER SEEN
HIMSELF NAKED.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
JOHN ASHCROFT ONCE COVERED THE
TITS ON A STATUE.
RICK SANTORUM WEARS A SWEATER
VEST.
NEWT GINGRICH ONCE SAID
DEMOCRATS WERE "THE PARTY OF
TOTAL HEDONISM, TOTAL
EXHIBITIONISM, TOTAL
BIZARRENESS, TOTAL WEIRDNESS."
WELL, ON A GOOD NIGHT, I
SUPPOSE.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
AND FRANKLY, NEWT, KNOWING THAT
YOU BELIEVE WHAT I DID ON AN
AVERAGE FRIDAY NIGHT WAS MORALLY
REPREHENSIBLE JUST MADE IT ALL
THE MORE FUN.
[LAUGHTER]
WE NEED TO RESTORE THE NATURAL
ORDER OF THINGS.
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD
WHERE LIBERALS ARE THE UPTIGHT
ONES AND CONSERVATIVES DO DRUGS
AND GET LAID.
ONCE UPON A TIME, THE RIGHT WERE
THE ONES OFFENDED BY EVERYTHING.
THEY WERE THE PARTY OF SPEECH
CODES AND BLACKLISTS AND MORAL
PANICS AND DEMANDING SOME TV
SHOW HAS TO GO.
AND NOW THAT'S US.
WE'RE THE FUN SUCKERS NOW - WE
SUCK THE FUN OUT OF EVERYTHING:
HALLOWEEN, THE OSCARS,
CHILDHOOD, TWITTER, COMEDY.
IT'S LIKE WOKE KIDS ON CAMPUS
DECIDED TO BE ALL THE WORST
PARTS OF A SOUTHERN BAPTIST.
AND THAT'S WRONG.
BECAUSE IT'S CULTURAL
APPROPRIATION.
IF DEMOCRATS HAD ALWAYS POLICED
MORALITY AS HARD AS THEY DO NOW,
THEY'D BE DOWN A LOT OF HEROES -
NO FDR, JFK, RFK, LBJ, CLINTON,
MARTIN LUTHER KING.
DEMOCRATS ARE NOW THE PARTY THAT
CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN ANTHONY WEINER AND AL
FRANKEN.
[LAUGHTER]
OR KATIE HILL, UP AND COMING
DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSWOMAN FROM
CALIFORNIA, NOW RESIGNED, WHO,
LIKE ASHLI BABBIT, WAS FOUND TO
BE IN A THROUPLE AND PICTURED
HOLDING A BONG AND THAT WAS TOO
MUCH FOR OUR NEW PURITANICAL
DEMOCRATIC PARTY.
QUITE THE OPPOSITE THIS SHOULD
BE OUR LOGO.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WE'RE THE THROUPLE PEOPLE, THE
BONG PEOPLE, THE TANTRIC SEX
GURUS!
NOT MATT GAETZ, US!
WE DID FUCKING IN THE MUD AND
BRA BURNING AND "TURN ON, TUNE
IN AND DROP OUT."
THEY'RE THE PARTY WHO WON'T BAKE
WEDDING CAKES FOR GAY PEOPLE.
IT'S TIME TO SWITCH BACK.
BECAUSE FRANKLY - YOU'RE NOT
GOOD AT BEING US, AND BEING YOU
SUCKS.
OKAY, THAT'S OUR SHOW.
I'LL BE AT THE RUTH ECKERD HALL
IN CLEARWATER FL JUNE 19TH, AT
THE VAN WAYZEL PERFORMING ARTS
HALL IN SARASOTA FL JUNE 20TH,
AND AT THE MIRAGE IN VEGAS JULY
16 AND 17TH.
I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS RICK
WILSON, REPRESENTATIVE ELISSA
SLOTKIN AND JOHN MCWHORTER.
WE'LL BE BACK NEXT WEEK.
THANK YOU, FOLKS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]