1 00:00:09,366 --> 00:00:09,700 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:09,766 --> 00:00:14,533 >> START THE CLOCK. 3 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:20,933 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:28,433 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:34,966 ♪ ♪ 6 00:00:35,033 --> 00:00:37,900 ♪ ♪ 7 00:00:37,966 --> 00:00:42,833 >> Bill: THANK YOU, THANK YOU 8 00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:47,933 VERY MUCH! 9 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,133 ALL RIGHT, THANK THANK YOU SO 10 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:57,533 MUCH FOR COMING, AND HELPING. 11 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,700 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I'M GLAD 12 00:00:59,766 --> 00:01:00,500 YOU'RE IN A GOOD MOOD. 13 00:01:00,566 --> 00:01:03,100 I HAD KIND OF AN UP AND DOWN 14 00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:03,300 WEEK. 15 00:01:03,366 --> 00:01:04,500 I GOT ALL MY MONEY FINALLY OUT 16 00:01:04,566 --> 00:01:07,500 OF GAME STOP. 17 00:01:07,566 --> 00:01:08,733 [LAUGHTER] 18 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,033 AND I PUT IT ALL INTO DR. SEUSS 19 00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:11,566 BOOKS. 20 00:01:11,633 --> 00:01:14,200 SO I'M JUST UP AND DOWN. 21 00:01:14,266 --> 00:01:15,400 I'M SURE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE BIG 22 00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:18,566 CONTROVERSY THIS WEEK HERE AT 23 00:01:18,633 --> 00:01:20,700 DR. SEUSS, THE ESTATE CANCELED, 24 00:01:20,766 --> 00:01:21,966 SIX BOOKS WERE DISCONTINUED FOR 25 00:01:22,033 --> 00:01:23,033 DEPICTIONS THEY SAID WERE 26 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:24,800 HURTFUL AND WRONG ESPECIALLY 27 00:01:24,866 --> 00:01:26,333 THAT ONE PASSAGE WHERE THE 28 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:30,433 GRINCH SAYS "WHOS WILL NOT 29 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:35,033 REPLACE US." 30 00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:35,300 [LAUGHTER] 31 00:01:35,366 --> 00:01:39,533 [APPLAUSE] 32 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,933 DELAY THE LAUGHTER IS FINE, AS 33 00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:42,433 LONG AS THERE IS LAUGHTER. 34 00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:43,500 I DON'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES 35 00:01:43,566 --> 00:01:45,866 TO GET THERE, I'M JUST HAPPY FOR 36 00:01:45,933 --> 00:01:46,366 IT. 37 00:01:46,433 --> 00:01:48,533 I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH WAS ON THE 38 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,833 SHIT LIST ANYMORE, 39 00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:54,666 MR. POTATO HEAD -- I DIDN'T EVEN 40 00:01:54,733 --> 00:01:56,733 KNOW WHAT THIS FUCKING THING 41 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:57,800 WAS. 42 00:01:57,866 --> 00:02:00,000 MR. POTATO HEAD IS NO LONGER 43 00:02:00,066 --> 00:02:00,733 MR. POTATO HEAD. 44 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,900 I'M NOT SURE WHY, BUT HE'S JUST 45 00:02:03,966 --> 00:02:05,900 POTATO HEAD. 46 00:02:05,966 --> 00:02:07,533 I CAN'T KEEP UP, PARITY CANNOT 47 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,500 KEEP UP. 48 00:02:10,566 --> 00:02:15,266 ALSO, SILLY PUTTY IS NOW "ON THE 49 00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:17,866 SPECTRUM PUTTY." 50 00:02:17,933 --> 00:02:18,133 [LAUGHTER] 51 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,933 [APPLAUSE] 52 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,566 AMONG THE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT 53 00:02:23,633 --> 00:02:25,200 JOE BIDEN, HE DOESN'T BUY INTO 54 00:02:25,266 --> 00:02:25,966 THIS CULTURE WAR SHIT, HE 55 00:02:26,033 --> 00:02:27,366 IGNORES IT THAT HE HAS A 60% 56 00:02:27,433 --> 00:02:31,300 APPROVAL RATING. 57 00:02:31,366 --> 00:02:35,766 [APPLAUSE] 58 00:02:35,833 --> 00:02:36,433 ALSO LEVELS OF MALARKEY HAVE 59 00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:39,900 NEVER BEEN LOWER. 60 00:02:39,966 --> 00:02:41,900 IT'S A GOOD INDICATOR WE HAVE. 61 00:02:41,966 --> 00:02:45,500 WE ARE AS DIVIDED AS EVER, 15 62 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,966 STATES, IT STARTED WITH TEXAS, 63 00:02:48,033 --> 00:02:50,133 MISSISSIPPI, ALABAMA, WYOMING, 64 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,466 IOWA, NO MORE MASKS. 65 00:02:51,533 --> 00:02:52,633 THEY ARE COMPLETELY OPENING UP 66 00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:53,733 AGAIN. 67 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:54,500 HALF THE COUNTRY IS WITH 68 00:02:54,566 --> 00:02:55,900 DR. FAUCI AND HALF THE COUNTRY 69 00:02:55,966 --> 00:03:05,466 IS WITH DR. SEUSS. 70 00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:05,666 TEXAS? 71 00:03:05,733 --> 00:03:06,333 THEY ARE REALLY RADICAL ON THIS. 72 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:06,900 DO NOT MESS WITH THEIR GUNS, 73 00:03:06,966 --> 00:03:07,533 THEIR GOD, OR THERE $2 SHOOTERS 74 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:11,966 AT APPLEBEE'S. 75 00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:14,366 THESE MOTHERFUCKERS. 76 00:03:14,433 --> 00:03:15,566 THE GOVERNOR OF TEXAS QUOTED 77 00:03:15,633 --> 00:03:17,300 PATRICK HENRY, NOT AN EXACT 78 00:03:17,366 --> 00:03:19,500 QUOTE HE SAID "GIVE ME LIBERTY 79 00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:20,600 AND GIVE ME DEATH." 80 00:03:20,666 --> 00:03:20,866 [LAUGHTER] 81 00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:25,133 [APPLAUSE] 82 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,333 PRESIDENT BIDEN IS MAD ABOUT 83 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,433 THIS, HE SAID OPENING UP TOO 84 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,633 SOON, WE'RE JUMPING THE GUN. 85 00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:32,600 HE CALLED THIS "NEANDERTHAL 86 00:03:32,666 --> 00:03:33,866 THINKING" AND LISTEN TO THIS, 87 00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:36,833 MARSHA BLACKBURN, TRUMP LOVING 88 00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:38,300 REPUBLICAN SENATOR FROM 89 00:03:38,366 --> 00:03:40,633 TENNESSEE DEFENDED NEANDERTHALS. 90 00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:45,100 AGAIN, I CAN'T KEEP UP, SHE SAID 91 00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:46,866 NEANDERTHALS ARE PROTECTORS OF 92 00:03:46,933 --> 00:03:48,933 FAMILY, THEY ARE RESILIENT AND 93 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,433 RESOURCEFUL -- AND THEIR EXTINC 94 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:57,200 EXTINCT! 95 00:03:57,266 --> 00:03:59,933 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 96 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,866 IT WAS A SAD WEEK FOR THE TRUMP 97 00:04:02,933 --> 00:04:10,200 NUTS, THE QANON CULT, YESTERDAY 98 00:04:10,266 --> 00:04:11,833 MARCH 4TH, WINK-WINK WAS 99 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,466 SUPPOSED TO BE THE DAY IN NOT 100 00:04:13,533 --> 00:04:14,533 WORLD WHEN TRUMP WOULD BE 101 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:15,500 REVEALED AS THE ONE TRUE 102 00:04:15,566 --> 00:04:20,333 PRESIDENT JUST AS THE A ANCIENT 103 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,300 PROPHECY PREDICTED IN THE TWEET 104 00:04:22,366 --> 00:04:23,500 OF REVELATIONS. 105 00:04:23,566 --> 00:04:24,100 [LAUGHTER] 106 00:04:24,166 --> 00:04:26,333 WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE 107 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:26,866 THIS SHIT? 108 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,500 WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROUD 109 00:04:28,566 --> 00:04:30,433 BOYS ARE PROUD OF, BUT IT'S NOT 110 00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:37,233 THERE GRADES I DON'T THINK. 111 00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:37,500 [LAUGHTER] 112 00:04:37,566 --> 00:04:37,766 [APPLAUSE] 113 00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:39,500 I TRY NOT TO BE TO MEAN -- WELL 114 00:04:39,566 --> 00:04:43,433 I DON'T TRY THAT HARD. 115 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,900 BUT THEY BELIEVE -- DEMOCRATS 116 00:04:46,966 --> 00:04:48,200 RUNNING A GIANT PEDOPHILE RING 117 00:04:48,266 --> 00:04:49,966 AND THEY EAT BABIES AND JEWISH 118 00:04:50,033 --> 00:04:50,600 SPACE LASERS AND THE LATEST HIM 119 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:53,333 I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP, THAT 120 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:59,466 OBAMA IS HITLER'S GRANDSON. 121 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:05,066 AND YOU MENTIONED COVID, AND 122 00:05:05,133 --> 00:05:06,100 THEY GO "YOU CAN'T BELIEVE 123 00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:09,266 EVERYTHING YOU HEAR. 124 00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:10,100 MOST QUOTE [LAUGHTER] 125 00:05:10,166 --> 00:05:10,566 [APPLAUSE] 126 00:05:10,633 --> 00:05:12,533 BUT IF THERE WERE ANY Q PEOPLE 127 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:16,266 OUT THERE, YOU KNOW I AM Q -- 128 00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:19,166 GOOD NEWS, IF YOU'RE CRESTFALLEN 129 00:05:19,233 --> 00:05:20,933 FROM NEWS THIS WEEK AND YOU NEED 130 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:26,100 A HUG, ANDREW CUOMO IS AVAILABL 131 00:05:26,166 --> 00:05:26,366 AVAILABLE. 132 00:05:26,433 --> 00:05:26,633 [LAUGHTER] 133 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:30,100 [APPLAUSE] 134 00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:32,166 BECAUSE HE'S A DEMOCRAT, WHAT 135 00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:33,600 ARE WE DOING? 136 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,733 HOW CAN A POLITICIAN THIS HIGH 137 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:37,700 PROFILE BE THIS FUCKING STUPID 138 00:05:37,766 --> 00:05:38,133 TO. 139 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,433 WE ARE FOUR YEARS INTO THE 140 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,833 #MeToo ERA, HE'S THIS DUMB YOU 141 00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:46,100 DON'T GET DON'T HIT ON THE HELP, 142 00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:47,433 DON'T TOUCH PEOPLE WITHOUT THEIR 143 00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:50,366 PERMISSION -- THANK YOU, ONE GU 144 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:50,866 GUY. 145 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,966 WHAT COULD THIS GUY BE THINKING? 146 00:05:53,033 --> 00:05:55,933 HE'S HITTING ON -- HE SAID HE 147 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,666 TOLD THE GIRL "I'M OPEN TO A 148 00:05:57,733 --> 00:06:02,066 RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN IN HER 149 00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:03,233 20s." 150 00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:08,300 NO KIDDING, HOW BIG OF YOU. 151 00:06:08,366 --> 00:06:08,566 [LAUGHTER] 152 00:06:08,633 --> 00:06:10,200 [APPLAUSE] 153 00:06:10,266 --> 00:06:11,266 YES, WHO HASN'T DREAMED OF 154 00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:13,933 BANGING CHICO MARX? 155 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:14,800 [LAUGHTER] 156 00:06:14,866 --> 00:06:15,800 SOME PEOPLE REMEMBER CHICO MARX 157 00:06:15,866 --> 00:06:17,966 AND THEY ARE LAUGHING THEIR ASS 158 00:06:18,033 --> 00:06:20,366 OFF RIGHT NOW, NOT A BIG 159 00:06:20,433 --> 00:06:23,000 CONTINGENT. 160 00:06:23,066 --> 00:06:25,366 CUOMO ASKED ONE OF THE STAFFERS, 161 00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:27,966 SHE WAS 25, HOW SHE FELT, THIS 162 00:06:28,033 --> 00:06:29,500 IS HER VERSION BUT I DON'T THINK 163 00:06:29,566 --> 00:06:31,533 HE'S DENIED IT, ABOUT HAVING SEX 164 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,900 WITH OLDER MEN AND HE SAID HE 165 00:06:33,966 --> 00:06:36,300 WAS MAKING SMALL TALK. 166 00:06:36,366 --> 00:06:38,366 HEY, JUST PICK A SUBJECT, ANY 167 00:06:38,433 --> 00:06:41,466 SUBJECT, ANYTHING OF THE WORLD, 168 00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:44,533 SEX WITH OLDER MEN, START THE 169 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,500 CONVERSATION. 170 00:06:46,566 --> 00:06:47,900 HE'S AN AMAZING MAN, AN ITALIAN 171 00:06:47,966 --> 00:06:51,433 WITH NO GAME. 172 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:51,700 [LAUGHTER] 173 00:06:51,766 --> 00:06:55,600 [APPLAUSE] 174 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,300 AND SO TONE-DEAF. 175 00:06:57,366 --> 00:06:58,333 A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT HIM TO 176 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,133 RESIDE NOW AND HE SAID HE'S NOT 177 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,700 GOING TO LEAVE HIS JOB BECAUSE 178 00:07:01,766 --> 00:07:04,166 THEN WHERE MY GOING TO MEET 179 00:07:04,233 --> 00:07:05,500 CHICKS? 180 00:07:05,566 --> 00:07:06,166 TONE-DEAF. 181 00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:07,566 HE SAID I KNOW PEOPLE ARE 182 00:07:07,633 --> 00:07:09,100 DISAPPOINTED IN ME BUT I'M 183 00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:11,400 SORRY, I JUST WON'T QUIT. 184 00:07:11,466 --> 00:07:16,633 LIKE J.LO'S ASS. 185 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:19,700 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW, WE HAVE 186 00:07:19,766 --> 00:07:20,900 CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD AND FRANK 187 00:07:20,966 --> 00:07:21,266 BRUNI ARE HERE. 188 00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:22,166 BUT FIRST, HE'S CO-HOST OF 189 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:22,800 MSNBC'S "MORNING JOE" AND AUTHOR 190 00:07:22,866 --> 00:07:23,733 OF "SAVING FREEDOM; TRUMAN, THE 191 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,366 COLD WAR AND THE FIGHT FOR 192 00:07:26,433 --> 00:07:30,233 WESTERN CIVILIZATION": MORNING 193 00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:33,033 JOE SCARBOROUGH! 194 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:33,500 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 195 00:07:33,566 --> 00:07:36,300 ♪ ♪ 196 00:07:36,366 --> 00:07:37,700 GREAT TO SEE YOU. 197 00:07:37,766 --> 00:07:38,500 >> HUMAN BEINGS. 198 00:07:38,566 --> 00:07:40,566 I HAVE NOT SEEN HUMANS IN A 199 00:07:40,633 --> 00:07:41,000 WHILE. 200 00:07:41,066 --> 00:07:43,066 >> Bill: GOOD LAUGHING 201 00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:43,700 HUMAN BEINGS, THIS IS OUR BEST 202 00:07:43,766 --> 00:07:46,200 CROWD YET. 203 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:49,666 >> CHICO MARX? 204 00:07:49,733 --> 00:07:51,333 >> Bill: CHICO MARX. 205 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,966 IF YOU REMEMBER CHICO MARX? 206 00:07:53,033 --> 00:07:56,800 >> OF COURSE I DO. 207 00:07:56,866 --> 00:07:58,200 WE ARE OLD, WE'VE BEEN DOING 208 00:07:58,266 --> 00:07:59,966 THIS FOR A LONG TIME. 209 00:08:00,033 --> 00:08:00,766 >> Bill: I NEVER HAD KIDS COME 210 00:08:00,833 --> 00:08:02,800 I FEEL LIKE I MAY BE OLD BUT I'M 211 00:08:02,866 --> 00:08:04,266 STILL THE LATEST VERSION OF ME. 212 00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:08,333 >> IT MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE. 213 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,233 I HAVE FOUR KIDS, AGE 62 TO 12, 214 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,900 BUT DOING THIS FOR A LONG TIME. 215 00:08:14,966 --> 00:08:17,866 IT'S CRAZY, I'VE BEEN DOING THIS 216 00:08:17,933 --> 00:08:19,500 WITH YOU A LONG TIME. 217 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,666 >> Bill: NOT RECENTLY, THE 218 00:08:21,733 --> 00:08:25,000 LAST TIME I SAW YOU, YOU WERE A 219 00:08:25,066 --> 00:08:25,666 REPUBLICAN. 220 00:08:25,733 --> 00:08:28,433 WHAT HAPPENED? 221 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,366 >> I WANT TO SAY REALLY QUICK 222 00:08:30,433 --> 00:08:31,566 BEFORE WE TALK ABOUT THAT, IT'S 223 00:08:31,633 --> 00:08:33,666 NICE TO BE HERE AND YOUR PEOPLE 224 00:08:33,733 --> 00:08:34,533 STICK AROUND. 225 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,166 THIS IS A FAMILY THAT HAS BEEN 226 00:08:36,233 --> 00:08:38,900 HERE FOR 25 YEARS. 227 00:08:38,966 --> 00:08:41,266 THAT'S SAYING AN AWFUL LOT ABOUT 228 00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:45,066 YOU OR AN AWFUL LOT ABOUT THEM. 229 00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:50,666 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 230 00:08:50,733 --> 00:08:52,733 >> Bill: THEY ARE THE NICEST 231 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,533 PEOPLE, I ALWAYS SAY THEY MAKE 232 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,733 UP FOR THE SNARKY HOST. 233 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,400 >> IT HELPS US. 234 00:08:58,466 --> 00:09:00,000 >> Bill: TELL ME ABOUT THIS, 235 00:09:00,066 --> 00:09:03,200 YOU ARE AN INDEPENDENT NOW. 236 00:09:03,266 --> 00:09:04,933 WHAT DOES THAT SAY? 237 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,533 TO ME IT SAYS YOU THINK THE 238 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:09,333 REPUBLICAN PARTY IS UNSALABLE. 239 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,866 >> UNSALABLE, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. 240 00:09:12,933 --> 00:09:13,766 OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD WANT TO 241 00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:16,933 STAY ON AND REFORM IT BUT IT 242 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:21,500 CAN'T BE SAVED. 243 00:09:21,566 --> 00:09:24,833 >> IT'S THE CRAZIEST THING IN 244 00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:26,300 THE WORLD, TALKING ABOUT US AND 245 00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,633 WHEN I FIRST CAME HERE, YOU WERE 246 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,766 THE ONLY GUY WHO WOULD DEFEND 247 00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:31,900 CONSERVATIVES, SOMEBODY ATTACKED 248 00:09:31,966 --> 00:09:35,133 ME ON MY FIRST SHOW HERE, I 249 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,000 THINK CALLED ME A BIGOT AND A 250 00:09:37,066 --> 00:09:41,600 RACIST, OR REPUBLICAN FROM THE 251 00:09:41,666 --> 00:09:42,166 SOUTH, CONSERVATIVE AND YOU 252 00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,100 DEFENDED ME. 253 00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:47,133 IT'S ALWAYS VERY NICE, SOMEBODY 254 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,366 DEFENDING SOMEBODY -- I USED TO 255 00:09:48,433 --> 00:09:51,066 GET ATTACKED BY LIBERALS BECAUSE 256 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,266 I WAS CONSERVATIVE, NOW I'M 257 00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:55,333 GETTING ATTACKED BY PEOPLE WHO 258 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,866 VOTED FOR A FASCIST BECAUSE I'M 259 00:09:56,933 --> 00:09:59,333 A CONSERVATIVE AND THAT'S -- MY 260 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,633 FRIENDS AND MY FAMILY MEMBERS, 261 00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:06,133 THEY ALL VOTED FOR HIM. 262 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,633 , IT'S BEEN HARD FOR ME TO 263 00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:09,400 PROCESS IT. 264 00:10:09,466 --> 00:10:10,700 BUT THE ONLY WAY I'D BEEN ABLE 265 00:10:10,766 --> 00:10:12,733 TO COME TO TERMS WITH IT IS, 266 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,266 THEY ARE NOT FASCISTS BUT THEY 267 00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:18,366 VOTED FOR AN IGNORANT MAN WHO IS 268 00:10:18,433 --> 00:10:20,300 A FASCIST. 269 00:10:20,366 --> 00:10:22,366 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY. 270 00:10:22,433 --> 00:10:23,900 I'VE SEEN FOCUS GROUPS FOR THE 271 00:10:23,966 --> 00:10:25,866 PAST COUPLE OF DAYS OF TRUMP 272 00:10:25,933 --> 00:10:27,066 VOTERS WHO STILL WOULD SUPPORT 273 00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:27,466 HIM. 274 00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:30,900 WHO SAY THINGS LIKE "I LIKE 275 00:10:30,966 --> 00:10:33,600 DONALD TRUMP BECAUSE OF WHERE HE 276 00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:39,233 STANDS" I CAN'T EVEN SAY IT WITH 277 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:41,766 A STRAIGHT FACE "ON THE ISSUES." 278 00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:43,833 NOW YOU TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK 279 00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:44,466 DOES THAT MEAN? 280 00:10:44,533 --> 00:10:46,566 A [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 281 00:10:46,633 --> 00:10:50,333 WHAT ISSUES DOES THIS GUY SHARE 282 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,666 WITH CONSERVATIVES? 283 00:10:52,733 --> 00:10:53,866 HE LEFT WITH THE BIGGEST 284 00:10:53,933 --> 00:10:55,000 DEFICITS EVER COME OF THE 285 00:10:55,066 --> 00:10:56,200 BIGGEST DEBT EVER, HE UNDERCUT 286 00:10:56,266 --> 00:11:01,833 ALL OF OUR ALLIES, ALL THE 287 00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:04,466 ALLIES THAT REAGAN CHAMPIONED. 288 00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:06,866 >> Bill: BUT HE'S DONE, WHY 289 00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,766 ARE WE STILL TALKING? 290 00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:11,933 >> BECAUSE 75 MILLION PEOPLE AND 291 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,133 I'VE GOT TO SAY ALL OF MY PEOPLE 292 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,566 PEOPLE, MY TRIBE, THEY VOTED FOR 293 00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:18,833 HIM. 294 00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:23,966 WHEN I SEE THESE FOCUS GROUPS, 295 00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:25,400 YOUR MEMBER THIS MOVIE -- THERE 296 00:11:25,466 --> 00:11:27,100 WAS THIS LATE 60s MOVIE CALLED 297 00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:28,966 JOURNEY TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE 298 00:11:29,033 --> 00:11:32,900 SUN W WHERE EVERYBODY LOOKED THE 299 00:11:32,966 --> 00:11:34,100 SAME BUT IT WAS OPPOSITE. 300 00:11:34,166 --> 00:11:35,700 WHEN I SEE FOCUS GROUPS WITH 301 00:11:35,766 --> 00:11:37,000 TRUMP SUPPORTER'S, THEY ALL 302 00:11:37,066 --> 00:11:37,733 VOTED FOR ME. 303 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,500 AT THE STRANGEST THINGS COME OUT 304 00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:39,866 OF THEIR MOUTHS. 305 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:42,600 >> Bill: WHEN THEY TOOK THE 306 00:11:42,666 --> 00:11:43,966 STRAW POLL AT CPAC, THE 307 00:11:44,033 --> 00:11:45,200 CONSERVATIVE CONVENTION LAST 308 00:11:45,266 --> 00:11:46,100 WEEK, THE BIG ISSUE, WAY BIGGER 309 00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:47,833 THAN THE ONES YOU WOULD THINK 310 00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:49,533 WOULD BE BIG LIKE ABORTION -- 311 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,000 ELECTION INTEGRITY. 312 00:11:52,066 --> 00:11:53,566 THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AS IT IS 313 00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:56,133 NOW IS BECOMING A ONE ISSUE 314 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,000 PARTY. 315 00:11:57,066 --> 00:11:58,633 "WE WAS ROBBED, WE HAVE TO 316 00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:02,433 PREVENT DEMOCRATS FROM VOTING. 317 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:03,433 THAT SEEMS TO BE THEIR 318 00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:06,033 RAISON D'ETRE NOW. 319 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,900 YOU WOULD ADMIT, EVERYBODY IN 320 00:12:07,966 --> 00:12:09,933 AMERICA WOULD THAT WE NEED -- WE 321 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,066 PROBABLY NEED FIVE PARTIES BUT 322 00:12:11,133 --> 00:12:12,700 WE NEED AT LEAST A TWO. 323 00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:13,700 IF WE ONLY HAVE THE DEMOCRATS IN 324 00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:17,100 THE CONSPIRACY THEORY PARTY -- 325 00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:17,366 [LAUGHTER] 326 00:12:17,433 --> 00:12:20,000 THAT CAN'T WORK. 327 00:12:20,066 --> 00:12:22,266 THERE HAS TO BE A LOYAL 328 00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:23,600 OPPOSITION TO THE 329 00:12:23,666 --> 00:12:24,833 DEMOCRATIC PARTY BECAUSE HERE IN 330 00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,000 CALIFORNIA, WE DON'T HAVE IT AND 331 00:12:26,066 --> 00:12:26,600 THAT'S WHY I CAN'T GET MY SOUL 332 00:12:26,666 --> 00:12:30,700 ARE ON. 333 00:12:30,766 --> 00:12:30,966 [LAUGHTER] 334 00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:33,633 [APPLAUSE] 335 00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:37,100 OH, DAMN, I MENTIONED IT. 336 00:12:37,166 --> 00:12:38,666 >> I LOOK AT SOME OF THE 337 00:12:38,733 --> 00:12:39,300 SENATORS WHO REALLY DISAPPOINTED 338 00:12:39,366 --> 00:12:40,933 ME OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF 339 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:41,433 YEARS, LOOK AT HOW THEY 340 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,933 RESPONDED ON JANUARY THE 6TH AND 341 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,300 IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT WHAT THEY 342 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:46,466 DID. 343 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:49,200 >> Bill: ARE WE TALKING ABOUT 344 00:12:49,266 --> 00:12:49,633 CRUZ AND HAWLEY? 345 00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:53,766 >> THEY SHOULD BE IN JAIL, CRUZ 346 00:12:53,833 --> 00:12:54,766 AND HAWLEY ARE SEDITIOUS. 347 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:55,200 >> Bill: JAIL? 348 00:12:55,266 --> 00:12:56,300 >> THEY SHOULD BE IN JAIL. 349 00:12:56,366 --> 00:12:59,100 YOU CAN LOOK AT THE FEDERAL 350 00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:02,233 STATUTE FOR INCITING SEDITION 351 00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:03,466 AND IT SEEMS TO ME -- IT'S WHAT 352 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,033 THEY DID. 353 00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:08,266 LOOK AT SOME OF THE SENATORS. 354 00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:10,966 BEN SASSE WHO CAME OUT AND WAS 355 00:13:11,033 --> 00:13:12,533 QUITE CRITICAL, ON THE HOUSE 356 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:13,866 SIDE YOU LOOK AT LIZ CHENEY. 357 00:13:13,933 --> 00:13:16,433 I GAVE HIM FOR FOUR YEARS BUT 358 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:17,900 MITCH McCONNELL ON THE SIXTH 359 00:13:17,966 --> 00:13:19,333 WHEN HE STOOD UP AND SAID THAT 360 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,533 THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT VOTE 361 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,000 I'VE TAKEN IN MY LIFETIME AND WE 362 00:13:24,066 --> 00:13:24,566 ARE GOING TO VOTE TODAY AND 363 00:13:24,633 --> 00:13:26,766 WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET THE MOB 364 00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:28,900 HAVE THEIR SAY, THAT WAS 365 00:13:28,966 --> 00:13:30,000 SIGNIFICANT. 366 00:13:30,066 --> 00:13:30,700 THERE ARE SOME -- LIZ CHENEY IN 367 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,700 THE HOUSE HAS STOOD UP, THERE 368 00:13:32,766 --> 00:13:34,800 ARE SOME REPUBLICANS WHO HAVE 369 00:13:34,866 --> 00:13:36,666 STOOD UP ACTUALLY FOR BASIC 370 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,733 THINGS, LIKE THE PEACEFUL 371 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,133 TRANSFER OF POWER. 372 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:40,600 >> Bill: DIDN'T MITCH 373 00:13:40,666 --> 00:13:41,733 McCONNELL THAN SAY HE'S GOING 374 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,500 TO VOTE FOR TRUMP IF HE RAN 375 00:13:44,566 --> 00:13:45,266 AGAIN? 376 00:13:45,333 --> 00:13:50,066 HOW WAS THAT STANDING UP? 377 00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,700 IF CRUZ SHOULD BE IN JAIL I 378 00:13:51,766 --> 00:13:52,300 DON'T KNOW WHY MITCH McCONNELL 379 00:13:52,366 --> 00:13:57,666 SHOULDN'T BE HIS MATE. 380 00:13:57,733 --> 00:13:59,866 THE GUY WHO TOOK YOUR SEAT -- 381 00:13:59,933 --> 00:14:04,800 AND I MEAN THAT POLITICALLY IN 382 00:14:04,866 --> 00:14:06,300 FLORIDA THAT SHE REPRESENTED THE 383 00:14:06,366 --> 00:14:06,966 PANHANDLE? 384 00:14:07,033 --> 00:14:08,700 >> THE FIRST DISTRICT OF 385 00:14:08,766 --> 00:14:08,933 FLORIDA. 386 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,166 >> Bill: OKAY, THAT IS, EXCUSE 387 00:14:11,233 --> 00:14:13,666 ME, THE REDNECK RIVIERA? 388 00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:16,066 >> WE'VE ALWAYS CALLED IT THE 389 00:14:16,133 --> 00:14:22,666 DASH L.A., LOWER ALABAMA. 390 00:14:22,733 --> 00:14:23,733 >> Bill: THIS GUY MATT GAETZ 391 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,266 IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER HIM, I 392 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:33,333 ALWAYS SAY -- [LAUGHTER] 393 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:34,333 EAT THIS NERD, CONGRESSMAN. 394 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:38,166 HE DOES LOOK LIKE A GUY FROM 395 00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:42,566 DR. SEUSS. 396 00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:42,833 [LAUGHTER] 397 00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:43,366 [APPLAUSE] 398 00:14:43,433 --> 00:14:44,633 LET'S USE THAT AS AN 399 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,566 ENCAPSULATION WHERE THE 400 00:14:46,633 --> 00:14:49,100 REPUBLICAN PARTY HAS MIGRATED, 401 00:14:49,166 --> 00:14:50,100 YOU REPRESENT THAT DISTRICT IN 402 00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:51,500 THE 90s, WHAT WAS YOUR LAST 403 00:14:51,566 --> 00:14:52,700 YEAR IN CONGRESS? 404 00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:54,800 >> 2001 AND GUESS WHAT IN 2001 405 00:14:54,866 --> 00:14:58,066 WE HAD A $155 BILLION SURPLUS. 406 00:14:58,133 --> 00:14:59,266 WE BALANCE TO THE BUDGET FOUR 407 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,833 YEARS IN A ROW, WE DID THINGS 408 00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:03,300 THAT SMALL GOVERNMENT 409 00:15:03,366 --> 00:15:04,233 CONSERVATIVES SAID THEY WERE 410 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:04,400 FOR. 411 00:15:04,466 --> 00:15:07,733 THAT'S WHAT WE DID. 412 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:08,966 NOW WE HAVE THE BIGGEST DEFICITS 413 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:09,466 EVER COME OF THE BIGGEST 414 00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:13,533 NATIONAL DEBT EVER. 415 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:14,733 DONALD TRUMP BROKE THE RECORD 416 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,266 FOR DEFICITS AND DEBT EVEN 417 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:22,466 BEFORE COVID. 418 00:15:22,533 --> 00:15:23,866 THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, THERE HAVE 419 00:15:23,933 --> 00:15:25,700 BEEN PROBLEMS BUT THERE JUST 420 00:15:25,766 --> 00:15:28,433 AREN'T A LOT OF CONSERVATIVES IN 421 00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:28,633 THERE. 422 00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:29,166 >> Bill: BILL CLINTON WAS 423 00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:30,333 PRESIDENT WHEN THEY GOT THE 424 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:34,033 BUDGET DOWN TO ZERO. 425 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,566 >> HE WORKED WITH US EVERY STEP 426 00:15:35,633 --> 00:15:37,600 OF THE WAY, HE REALLY DID. 427 00:15:37,666 --> 00:15:44,233 HE ENDED UP HAVING TO SIGN. 428 00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:46,933 >> Bill: I WANT TO MENTION THE 429 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:47,133 BOOK. 430 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,566 >> WE REALLY DON'T WANT TO 431 00:15:49,633 --> 00:15:50,000 DEBATE BILL CLINTON. 432 00:15:50,066 --> 00:15:50,633 >> Bill: I DIDN'T WANT TO 433 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:58,100 DEBATE TRUMP? 434 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,833 >> I KNOW, I'M OBSESSING OVER 435 00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:02,366 THE 75 MILLION PEOPLE WHO VOTED 436 00:16:02,433 --> 00:16:03,033 FOR TRUMP. 437 00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:05,200 >> Bill: Y TRUMAN, YOU 438 00:16:05,266 --> 00:16:07,733 COULD'VE WRITTEN ABOUT ANYBODY. 439 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,100 IT'S A FANTASTIC READ, I'M A 440 00:16:09,166 --> 00:16:10,300 HISTORY MAJOR AND I LOVE HISTORY 441 00:16:10,366 --> 00:16:12,700 AND THAT'S A PERIOD RIGHT AFTER 442 00:16:12,766 --> 00:16:15,766 WORLD WAR II -- PEOPLE DON'T 443 00:16:15,833 --> 00:16:16,966 REALIZE HOW MUCH THE WORLD COULD 444 00:16:17,033 --> 00:16:18,166 HAVE GOTTEN FUCKED UP BEYOND 445 00:16:18,233 --> 00:16:20,233 RECOGNITION BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE 446 00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:23,333 COMPLACENT, YOU'RE EXHAUSTED AND 447 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,666 TRUMAN WAS A GUY WHO BROUGHT US 448 00:16:26,733 --> 00:16:28,000 NATO AND PUT STALIN ON NOTICE, 449 00:16:28,066 --> 00:16:29,000 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO 450 00:16:29,066 --> 00:16:32,433 TAKE OVER THE REST OF THE WORLD, 451 00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:33,300 THE MARSHALL PLAN, THAT'S WHAT 452 00:16:33,366 --> 00:16:34,533 YOU WANTED TO WRITE IT, HE 453 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,900 THOUGHT HE NEVER GOT HIS DUE? 454 00:16:37,966 --> 00:16:39,900 >> HE DID MORE THINGS OVER A 455 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,300 SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. 456 00:16:42,366 --> 00:16:44,533 HE HAD A BIGGER INBOX OVER A 457 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:45,966 SHORT PERIOD OF TIME THAN I 458 00:16:46,033 --> 00:16:50,200 THINK ANY PRESIDENT -- MY GOD, 459 00:16:50,266 --> 00:16:52,533 ANY PRESIDENT SINCE WORLD WAR II 460 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,466 BUT WHAT I LOVED ABOUT TRUMAN 461 00:16:55,533 --> 00:16:58,933 WAS HE ACTUALLY KNEW HOW TO MAKE 462 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,333 THINGS WORK BECAUSE HE WAS 463 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,233 ACTUALLY A PRODUCT OF 464 00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:02,600 WASHINGTON, D.C. 465 00:17:02,666 --> 00:17:03,500 HE HAD BEEN A SENATOR FOR TEN 466 00:17:03,566 --> 00:17:05,500 YEARS AND I GET SO SICK AND 467 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,700 TIRED OF PEOPLE SAYING "I WANT 468 00:17:06,766 --> 00:17:09,733 AN OUTSIDER." 469 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,266 NO, IF I AM GETTING BRAIN 470 00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:12,033 SURGERY I DON'T WANT AN 471 00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:13,366 OUTSIDER, I WANT SOMEBODY WHO 472 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,900 WAS OPERATED ON A THOUSAND 473 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:15,333 DIFFERENT PEOPLE. 474 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,666 IF I'M FLYING IN A PLANE, THE 475 00:17:16,733 --> 00:17:18,566 SAME THING. 476 00:17:18,633 --> 00:17:20,633 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 477 00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,366 SO TRUMAN ACTUALLY KNEW HOW TO 478 00:17:22,433 --> 00:17:23,233 SURROUND HIMSELF WITH THE BEST 479 00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:23,666 AND THE BRIGHTEST. 480 00:17:23,733 --> 00:17:26,666 HE HAD THE GREATEST PEOPLE 481 00:17:26,733 --> 00:17:28,000 AROUND HIM WHETHER IT WAS 482 00:17:28,066 --> 00:17:41,966 AVERILL HARRIMAN OR -- 483 00:17:42,033 --> 00:17:42,566 >> Bill: IS THIS BIDEN AS WELL 484 00:17:42,633 --> 00:17:43,200 THAT YOU'RE SAYING IS SIMILAR? 485 00:17:43,266 --> 00:17:43,700 A PRODUCT OF WASHINGTON? 486 00:17:43,766 --> 00:17:44,300 >> A PRODUCT OF WASHINGTON, HE 487 00:17:44,366 --> 00:17:44,933 SHOULD KNOW HE DIDN'T JUST GET 488 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:45,600 INTO TOWN A COUPLE WEEKS AGO, HE 489 00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:46,433 SHOULD KNOW HOW WASHINGTON WORK 490 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:46,633 WORKS. 491 00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:47,300 WITH TRUMAN I STARTED WRITING IT 492 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:50,700 AT THE BEGINNING OF THE 493 00:17:50,766 --> 00:17:51,566 CAMPAIGN. 494 00:17:51,633 --> 00:17:53,200 EXPERIENCE MATTERS. 495 00:17:53,266 --> 00:17:54,200 WE ACTUALLY NEED EXPERTS AND 496 00:17:54,266 --> 00:17:54,733 MORE IMPORTANTLY WE NEED 497 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:55,966 SOMEBODY WHO CAN REACH ACROSS 498 00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,600 THE AISLE AND TRUMAN DID THIS 499 00:17:57,666 --> 00:17:59,900 EVEN THOUGH HE WAS A PARTISAN, 500 00:17:59,966 --> 00:18:01,466 HE REACHED ACROSS THE AISLE TO 501 00:18:01,533 --> 00:18:03,200 ARTHUR VANDENBERG, HE WORKED 502 00:18:03,266 --> 00:18:04,833 WITH HIM EVERY DAY, HE SAID I'M 503 00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:05,766 NOT GOING TO SURPRISE YOU, THIS 504 00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:07,400 IS WHAT WE NEED TO DO. 505 00:18:07,466 --> 00:18:09,300 STALIN IS ON THE MARCH, HE DEALT 506 00:18:09,366 --> 00:18:10,333 WITH A LOT OF ISOLATIONISTS, HE 507 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,633 SAID THIS IS A MISTAKE WE MADE 508 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,733 WITH HITLER A DECADE AGO, WE 509 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,933 CAN'T MAKE IT AGAIN WITH STALIN. 510 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,033 THE SOVIETS ARE ON THE MARCH IN 511 00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:22,400 GREECE, AND TURKEY, AND THERE 512 00:18:22,466 --> 00:18:23,733 WAS A PARTNERSHIP WITH 513 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:24,733 REPUBLICANS. 514 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,000 HE HAD NOT ONLY WORKED WITH 515 00:18:27,066 --> 00:18:29,366 VANDENBERG DURING THE DAY, HE 516 00:18:29,433 --> 00:18:31,166 SENT HIS STAFF OVER AT NIGHT, 517 00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:32,366 THEY WOULD GO BY HIS HOUSE AND 518 00:18:32,433 --> 00:18:34,466 SAY THIS IS WHAT WE DID TODAY, 519 00:18:34,533 --> 00:18:36,100 WE HAVE PROBLEMS WITH THIS AND I 520 00:18:36,166 --> 00:18:37,200 KNOW PEOPLE SAY WASHINGTON CAN'T 521 00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:38,566 WORK THAT WAY ANYMORE, I THINK 522 00:18:38,633 --> 00:18:40,933 IT CAN. 523 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:46,966 YOU HAVE TO HAVE PEOPLE WHO KNOW 524 00:18:47,033 --> 00:18:47,433 HOW WASHINGTON WORKS. 525 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:50,700 >> Bill: YOU NEED TO HAVE 526 00:18:50,766 --> 00:18:52,233 SOMEBODY WHO REMEMBERS CHICO 527 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:52,433 MARX. 528 00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:53,900 MORNING JOE, THANK YOU FOR 529 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,300 COMING BY IN THE EVENING. 530 00:18:55,366 --> 00:18:59,333 ALL RIGHT, LET'S MEET OUR PANEL! 531 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,166 HERE THEY ARE, WOW. 532 00:19:01,233 --> 00:19:02,700 WHAT AN ALL-STAR GROUP. 533 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:05,100 HE'S AN OP-ED COLUMNIST FOR 534 00:19:05,166 --> 00:19:06,100 "THE NEW YORK TIMES" AND A CNN 535 00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:08,933 CONTRIBUTOR, OUR FRIEND FRANK 536 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,733 BRUNI IS OVER HERE! 537 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:11,533 HE'S CO-HOST OF THE NATIONALLY 538 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:12,533 SYNDICATED RADIO SHOW "THE 539 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:13,166 BREAKFAST CLUB" ON IHEART RADIO: 540 00:19:13,233 --> 00:19:19,500 CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD. 541 00:19:19,566 --> 00:19:19,966 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 542 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,000 >> I DIDN'T KNOW THE TABLE 543 00:19:22,066 --> 00:19:23,033 MOVED! 544 00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:24,633 I THOUGHT THE EDIBLE KICKED IN 545 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:28,066 EARLY I WAS LIKE, YIKES! 546 00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,833 >> Bill: YES, WELL, IT'S THE 547 00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:32,700 OUIJA BOARD I'M USING. 548 00:19:32,766 --> 00:19:34,000 SO, GENTLEMEN, I WANT TO TALK 549 00:19:34,066 --> 00:19:36,066 ABOUT THE MONEY TO START BECAUSE 550 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,000 THAT'S WHAT THE DEMOCRATS RAN 551 00:19:38,066 --> 00:19:38,366 ON. 552 00:19:38,433 --> 00:19:39,833 THEY RAN ON GETTING A MINIMUM 553 00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:42,966 WAGE TO PEOPLE IN AMERICA AND 554 00:19:43,033 --> 00:19:45,166 THAT HAS BEEN STALLED BUT NOW 555 00:19:45,233 --> 00:19:46,500 I'M READING HOW BIDEN IS 556 00:19:46,566 --> 00:19:50,233 COMPROMISING ON THE STIMULUS 557 00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:52,866 PLAN, IT'S $1.9 TRILLION. 558 00:19:52,933 --> 00:19:54,500 HERE'S WHAT I READ IN YOUR 559 00:19:54,566 --> 00:19:55,433 PAPER. 560 00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:58,200 THE PLAN WOULD SEND $1400 CHECKS 561 00:19:58,266 --> 00:20:01,500 TO INDIVIDUALS EARNING UP TO 562 00:20:01,566 --> 00:20:04,533 75,000 AND COUPLES MAKING 563 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,700 150,000 WOULD GET $1400. 564 00:20:06,766 --> 00:20:09,333 TO. 565 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,166 MEANWHILE, 53 MILLION AMERICANS, 566 00:20:11,233 --> 00:20:12,500 40% OF ALL WORKERS, HAVE LOW 567 00:20:12,566 --> 00:20:15,133 WAGE JOBS -- NO KIDDING. 568 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,300 MEDIAN HOURLY WAGE IS $10.22 AN 569 00:20:18,366 --> 00:20:20,933 HOUR, THEY'VE TAKEN 18,000 A 570 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:21,133 YEAR. 571 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,066 I UNDERSTAND NOT BEING ABLE TO 572 00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:24,833 PASS THE MINIMUM WAGE BECAUSE 573 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:25,766 YOU'RE FIGHTING THE REPUBLICANS, 574 00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:26,566 I THINK THEY SHOULD KEEP TRYING 575 00:20:26,633 --> 00:20:27,433 AND I THINK THEY SHOULD DIE ON 576 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,566 THAT HILL BY THE WAY, WILL NOT 577 00:20:29,633 --> 00:20:31,600 GET TO THAT. 578 00:20:31,666 --> 00:20:33,700 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WRITING A 579 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:34,866 BILL WHERE YOU'RE SENDING OUT 580 00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:38,333 CHECKS TO PEOPLE WHO MAKE 581 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,266 150,000 INSTEAD OF MORE TO THE 582 00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:42,533 PEOPLE WHO MAKE 18. 583 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:47,066 THAT'S THE DEMOCRATS. 584 00:20:47,133 --> 00:20:48,266 ANYONE WANT TO DEFEND THE 585 00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:49,066 DEMOCRATS ON THAT? 586 00:20:49,133 --> 00:20:51,633 >> NO. 587 00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:53,300 >> GREAT, MOVING ON. 588 00:20:53,366 --> 00:20:55,533 >> Bill: IT'S CRAZY, RIGHT? 589 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,266 IS THAT NOT FUCKING CRAZY? 590 00:20:58,333 --> 00:20:59,266 >> IT'S INSANE, FOR ME IT'S LIKE 591 00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:02,866 WHO GIVES A SHIT, THE NATIONAL 592 00:21:02,933 --> 00:21:06,266 DEBT IS $27 TRILLION, WITH AN X 593 00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:06,966 OR $1.9 TRILLION? 594 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,266 YOU'RE GOING TO WAIT UNTIL 595 00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,133 YOU'RE ALREADY $27 TRILLION IN 596 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,000 DEBT TO START COMPLAINING ABOUT 597 00:21:12,066 --> 00:21:14,566 WHERE THE FUCKING MONEY GOES? 598 00:21:14,633 --> 00:21:15,033 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 599 00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:15,833 >> Bill: IF YOU'RE GOING TO 600 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:16,733 SEND THE MONEY OUT I WOULDN'T 601 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,800 SEND IT TO PEOPLE WHO ARE MAKING 602 00:21:18,866 --> 00:21:20,300 150,000 -- I DON'T KNOW IF THEY 603 00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:21,300 NEED A CHECK. 604 00:21:21,366 --> 00:21:23,833 >> YOU'RE BEING AN IDEALIST, 605 00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,000 YOU'RE LOOKING FOR LEGISLATION 606 00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:25,533 MADE WITH A SCALPEL, MOST 607 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,333 LEGISLATION IS MADE WITH A MEAT 608 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:29,033 CLEAVER. 609 00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:30,500 THAT'S THE CASE HERE, IF YOU GO 610 00:21:30,566 --> 00:21:32,766 THROUGH THIS BILL AND YOU LOOK 611 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,866 AT ALL THE DIFFERENT PROPOSALS 612 00:21:34,933 --> 00:21:35,633 IN IT, YOU'RE GOING TO FIND SOME 613 00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:38,366 STUFF THAT LOOKS REALLY SMART 614 00:21:38,433 --> 00:21:38,966 THAT YOU LIKE AND YOU'RE GOING 615 00:21:39,033 --> 00:21:40,266 TO FIND SOME STUFF THAT -- 616 00:21:40,333 --> 00:21:41,100 >> Bill: THAT SEEMS GIANT AND 617 00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:44,800 THE GLARING AND I FEEL LIKE AT 618 00:21:44,866 --> 00:21:45,566 THE DEMOCRATS DON'T WIN THIS 619 00:21:45,633 --> 00:21:48,766 MINIMUM-WAGE BATTLE, THIS IS 620 00:21:48,833 --> 00:21:49,400 THEIR LAST CHANCE TO WIN BACK 621 00:21:49,466 --> 00:21:50,766 THE LITTLE GUY. 622 00:21:50,833 --> 00:21:52,733 IF YOU CAN'T WIN THIS ONE, I 623 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,433 FEEL LIKE THIS SHOULD BE 624 00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,433 WHATEVER THE NUCLEAR OPTION FOR 625 00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:59,100 THIS WOULD BE, WHATEVER MITCH 626 00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:02,266 McCONNELL WOULD DO TO WIN THIS 627 00:22:02,333 --> 00:22:04,533 BECAUSE OTHERWISE WHO ARE YOU? 628 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:05,433 YOU'RE NOT THE GUY FOR THE 629 00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,700 LITTLE GUY. 630 00:22:06,766 --> 00:22:09,100 >> THEY WOULD BE KEEPING A 631 00:22:09,166 --> 00:22:09,600 CAMPAIGN PROMISE, RIGHT? 632 00:22:09,666 --> 00:22:10,800 NUMBER TWO, IT'S THE RIGHT THING 633 00:22:10,866 --> 00:22:12,733 TO DO. 634 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:13,433 I WAS READING AN EDITORIAL BY MY 635 00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:15,100 MAN REVEREND WILLIAM BARBOUR AND 636 00:22:15,166 --> 00:22:16,966 HE SAID $15 MINIMUM WAGE 637 00:22:17,033 --> 00:22:19,033 INCREASE WOULD LIFT 40% OF BLACK 638 00:22:19,100 --> 00:22:20,866 WORKERS AND 62 MILLION POOR AND 639 00:22:20,933 --> 00:22:21,966 LOW INCOME AMERICANS OF EVERY 640 00:22:22,033 --> 00:22:23,633 RACE. 641 00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:25,733 IF YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO 642 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:26,333 MAKE SOME OF HIS LIFE BETTER, 643 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:37,266 YOU SHOULD SIMPLY DO IT. 644 00:22:37,333 --> 00:22:37,800 IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO 645 00:22:37,866 --> 00:22:38,433 MORALLY AND IT'S THE RIGHT THING 646 00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:38,833 TO DO POLITICALLY. 647 00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:39,433 IF KAMALA HARRIS WANTS TO RUN 648 00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:40,066 PRESIDENT OF THE FUTURE CAN BE 649 00:22:40,133 --> 00:22:40,600 THINK PEOPLE ARE GOING TO 650 00:22:40,666 --> 00:22:41,233 REMEMBER WHO PUT MONEY IN THEIR 651 00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:41,466 POCKET? 652 00:22:41,533 --> 00:22:43,266 I REMEMBER WHO'S TO GIVE ME FREE 653 00:22:43,333 --> 00:22:44,700 FOOD AT McDONALD'S WHEN I WAS 654 00:22:44,766 --> 00:22:44,933 YOUNG. 655 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,000 >> THE DEMOCRATS DIDN'T JUST 656 00:22:46,066 --> 00:22:48,400 LEAVE THIS ON THE SIDE OF THE 657 00:22:48,466 --> 00:22:49,533 ROAD, THE PARLIAMENTARIANS AT 658 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,400 THIS CAN'T BE PART OF THIS 659 00:22:52,466 --> 00:22:53,933 PARTICULAR RELIEF AND STIMULUS 660 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:54,500 PACKAGE. 661 00:22:54,566 --> 00:22:55,300 THEY WILL COME BACK AT THE SCUM 662 00:22:55,366 --> 00:22:56,866 OF THE ABSENTLY WELL FOR THE 663 00:22:56,933 --> 00:22:58,133 REASONS WE TALKED ABOUT, THIS IS 664 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,500 A PERFECT ALIGNMENT OF THEIR 665 00:23:00,566 --> 00:23:02,133 POLITICAL IDEALS, POLITICAL 666 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:03,366 PHILOSOPHY AND A REALLY POPULAR 667 00:23:03,433 --> 00:23:03,966 ISSUE. 668 00:23:04,033 --> 00:23:06,033 IN FLORIDA, THIS LAST ELECTION 669 00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:07,000 CYCLE, WHILE FLORIDIANS WERE 670 00:23:07,066 --> 00:23:08,666 VOTING FOR DONALD TRUMP, MORE 671 00:23:08,733 --> 00:23:09,766 THAN 60% OF THEM VOTED FOR THE 672 00:23:09,833 --> 00:23:13,800 MINIMUM WAGE TO GO UP IN THAT 673 00:23:13,866 --> 00:23:15,866 STATE TO $15 BY 2026 AND FLORIDA 674 00:23:15,933 --> 00:23:17,533 IS NOT A PURPLE STATE, FLORIDA 675 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:18,500 IS REDDISH, ACTUALLY. 676 00:23:18,566 --> 00:23:20,666 THIS IS A BIG COME A WINNING 677 00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:21,333 ISSUE FOR THE DEMOCRATS. 678 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,233 >> Bill: IT'S ALSO A WINNER 679 00:23:24,300 --> 00:23:25,133 ECONOMICALLY. 680 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,866 I'M SORRY, EVENTUALLY WHAT THAT 681 00:23:26,933 --> 00:23:29,166 NUMBER IS THAT YOU CITED THERE, 682 00:23:29,233 --> 00:23:29,933 THE DEBT. 683 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,133 >> 27 TRILLION. 684 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:32,133 >> Bill: IT'S GOING TO CATCH 685 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,733 UP TO US, THERE'S GOING TO BE A 686 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:35,066 CRASH. 687 00:23:35,133 --> 00:23:36,166 YOU CAN'T KEEP GOING ON LIKE 688 00:23:36,233 --> 00:23:37,466 THIS AND THEN WE ARE ALL GOING 689 00:23:37,533 --> 00:23:38,200 TO BE POOR. 690 00:23:38,266 --> 00:23:39,666 >> THE ONLY TIME AMERICA 691 00:23:39,733 --> 00:23:40,233 COMPLAINS ABOUT MONEY IS WHEN 692 00:23:40,300 --> 00:23:41,300 THEY HAVE TO GIVE IT TO THE 693 00:23:41,366 --> 00:23:42,800 PEOPLE WHO NEED IT. 694 00:23:42,866 --> 00:23:47,033 [APPLAUSE] 695 00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:48,700 >> BUT HERE'S THE THING, WHEN 696 00:23:48,766 --> 00:23:49,666 THE MINIMUM WAGE IS THE SLOW 697 00:23:49,733 --> 00:23:52,066 COMMUNAL WHO WINDS UP PAYING? 698 00:23:52,133 --> 00:23:53,266 THE GOVERNMENT. 699 00:23:53,333 --> 00:23:54,100 McDONALD'S DOESN'T PAY ITS 700 00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:55,866 WORKERS ENOUGH SO THEN THEY GET 701 00:23:55,933 --> 00:23:57,966 FOOD STAMPS, THE GOVERNMENT IS 702 00:23:58,033 --> 00:23:59,300 SUBSIDIZING A GIANT CORPORATION 703 00:23:59,366 --> 00:24:02,066 LIKE McDONALD'S. 704 00:24:02,133 --> 00:24:06,333 MEANWHILE, I'M READING ABOUT -- 705 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,733 LADY GAGA HAD HER DOGS 706 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:09,733 KIDNAPPED. 707 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,366 DID YOU COVER THIS STORY? 708 00:24:11,433 --> 00:24:13,100 >> SORT OF, KIND OF. 709 00:24:13,166 --> 00:24:16,033 >> I DID NOT. 710 00:24:16,100 --> 00:24:19,200 SHE OFFERED HALF A MILLION TO 711 00:24:19,266 --> 00:24:19,666 GET THEM BACK? 712 00:24:19,733 --> 00:24:20,900 >> JUST FOR INFORMATION, NOT 713 00:24:20,966 --> 00:24:24,233 EVEN THE DOGS. 714 00:24:24,300 --> 00:24:26,200 HALF A MILLION DOLLARS FOR 715 00:24:26,266 --> 00:24:26,966 INFORMATION AND I THINK SHE GOT 716 00:24:27,033 --> 00:24:30,066 THEM BACK FINALLY. 717 00:24:30,133 --> 00:24:31,066 I WAS GOING TO VOLUNTEER, I 718 00:24:31,133 --> 00:24:33,133 THINK I KNOW WHERE THOSE DOGS -- 719 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,866 I HEARD SOME SHIT ON THE STREET. 720 00:24:36,933 --> 00:24:38,700 >> SPENDING MONEY ON BULLSHIT'S 721 00:24:38,766 --> 00:24:40,766 THE AMERICAN WAY, THEY SPENT 722 00:24:40,833 --> 00:24:41,766 1.7 TRILLION ON A FAILED F-35 723 00:24:41,833 --> 00:24:43,166 FIGHTER JETS BUT WHEN IT COMES 724 00:24:43,233 --> 00:24:44,733 TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE THEY ARE 725 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,266 COMPLAINING WHERE THE DOLLARS A 726 00:24:47,333 --> 00:24:47,866 AT? 727 00:24:47,933 --> 00:24:49,266 >> Bill: IT STRUCK ME AS 728 00:24:49,333 --> 00:24:50,500 FUNNY, I HEAR SO MUCH ABOUT 729 00:24:50,566 --> 00:24:51,133 PRIVILEGE BUT WHEN IT SOMEBODY 730 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,200 WAS ON THE BLUE TEAM, WE JUST 731 00:24:54,266 --> 00:24:55,733 LET THAT PASS BECAUSE HALF A 732 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,633 MILLION DOLLARS FOR 733 00:24:57,700 --> 00:24:57,966 INFORMATION -- 734 00:24:58,033 --> 00:25:01,100 >> IT'S HER MONEY THOUGH, IT'S 735 00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:01,366 HER MONEY. 736 00:25:01,433 --> 00:25:02,533 >> Bill: I'M GLAD YOU FEEL 737 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:02,800 THAT WAY. 738 00:25:02,866 --> 00:25:03,866 >> IF I HAD HALF A MILLION 739 00:25:03,933 --> 00:25:05,400 DOLLARS FOR AN AWARD WHEN I LOST 740 00:25:05,466 --> 00:25:06,000 SOMETHING I PROBABLY WOULDN'T 741 00:25:06,066 --> 00:25:07,600 OFFER IT BUT I PROBABLY WOULD -- 742 00:25:07,666 --> 00:25:09,433 I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY 743 00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:11,533 SO I CAN PUT MYSELF IN THE 744 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:11,800 MIND-SET. 745 00:25:11,866 --> 00:25:13,500 >> THEY WERE VERY CUTE DOGS, DID 746 00:25:13,566 --> 00:25:15,566 YOU SEE PICTURES OF THEM? 747 00:25:15,633 --> 00:25:17,200 THEY WERE CUTE. 748 00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:18,300 >> Bill: LAST MONTH THE BIDEN 749 00:25:18,366 --> 00:25:19,900 ADMINISTRATION SAID SPEAKING OF 750 00:25:19,966 --> 00:25:20,666 MONEY, THEY WANT TO STUDY 751 00:25:20,733 --> 00:25:24,133 REPARATIONS, STUDY IT. 752 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,433 COMPENSATE DESCENDANTS OF SLAVES 753 00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:29,233 FOR UNPAID LABOR BY THEIR 754 00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:29,500 ANCESTORS. 755 00:25:29,566 --> 00:25:32,966 JEN PSAKI THE PRESS SPOKESMAN 756 00:25:33,033 --> 00:25:35,033 SAID WE'LL TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS 757 00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:36,133 IN THE LEGISLATIVE PROCESS. 758 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:36,866 I'M CURIOUS WHERE YOU ARE ON 759 00:25:36,933 --> 00:25:40,300 THIS ISSUE. 760 00:25:40,366 --> 00:25:41,700 THERE'S A COLLECTIVE GUILT THAT 761 00:25:41,766 --> 00:25:46,300 IS ASKING INDIVIDUALS TO 762 00:25:46,366 --> 00:25:47,300 RECOMPENSE. 763 00:25:47,366 --> 00:25:49,700 I THINK THAT'S HOW WE WOULD 764 00:25:49,766 --> 00:25:50,466 FRAME THAT? 765 00:25:50,533 --> 00:25:52,300 >> I THINK REPARATIONS HAS TO 766 00:25:52,366 --> 00:25:54,366 HAPPEN FOR BLACK PEOPLE BECAUSE 767 00:25:54,433 --> 00:25:55,066 SLAVERY WAS AMERICA'S 768 00:25:55,133 --> 00:25:56,000 ORIGINAL SIN AND I DON'T THINK 769 00:25:56,066 --> 00:25:57,633 NO GOOD IS GOING TO COME TO THIS 770 00:25:57,700 --> 00:25:59,266 COUNTRY UNTIL THEY ATONE FOR 771 00:25:59,333 --> 00:26:01,466 THEIR ORIGINAL SIN WHICH WAS 772 00:26:01,533 --> 00:26:02,133 SLAVERY. 773 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,433 IF MY ANCESTORS BUILT THIS 774 00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:03,966 COUNTRY FOR FREE. 775 00:26:04,033 --> 00:26:05,833 WHEN YOU SEE ALL THIS MONEY 776 00:26:05,900 --> 00:26:07,833 BEING THROWN AROUND, 777 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:13,133 $27 TRILLION IN NATIONAL DEBT, 778 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:14,533 $1.7 TRILLION FOR FAILED -- 779 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:15,700 >> Bill: HAVE A MILLION FOR 780 00:26:15,766 --> 00:26:15,900 DOGS. 781 00:26:15,966 --> 00:26:17,700 >> IF YOU'RE BLACK IN THIS 782 00:26:17,766 --> 00:26:18,666 COUNTRY, YOU HAVE TO FEEL WHAT'S 783 00:26:18,733 --> 00:26:20,300 UP WITH US? 784 00:26:20,366 --> 00:26:22,833 [APPLAUSE] 785 00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:25,333 I DON'T EVEN SEE WITH THE ISSUE 786 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:25,500 IS. 787 00:26:25,566 --> 00:26:27,333 >> Bill: THE ISSUE IS THAT IS 788 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:28,833 THE COLLECTIVE GUILT BUT 789 00:26:28,900 --> 00:26:29,566 INDIVIDUAL WHITE PEOPLE ARE 790 00:26:29,633 --> 00:26:31,400 SAYING "I DIDN'T DO IT AND BUY 791 00:26:31,466 --> 00:26:34,300 ANCESTORS DIDN'T EVEN DO IT AND 792 00:26:34,366 --> 00:26:36,800 YOU ARE NOT YOUR ANCESTORS." 793 00:26:36,866 --> 00:26:39,400 >> I'M A DESCENDANT OF THOSE 794 00:26:39,466 --> 00:26:40,400 ANCESTORS. 795 00:26:40,466 --> 00:26:41,800 >> Bill: I KNOW, BUT -- 796 00:26:41,866 --> 00:26:45,566 >> WHEN A DEBT IS OWED, DEBT IS 797 00:26:45,633 --> 00:26:45,800 OWED. 798 00:26:45,866 --> 00:26:47,466 >> Bill: YOU GOT A LOT OF 799 00:26:47,533 --> 00:26:48,933 MONEY AND YOU SAY YOU SHOULD GET 800 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:49,133 MORE. 801 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,833 >> SHOULD I GET MORE? 802 00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:56,300 >> I'M 97% WEST AFRICAN, BORN IN 803 00:26:56,366 --> 00:26:57,066 SOUTH CAROLINA BUT IF IT'S TO 804 00:26:57,133 --> 00:26:59,033 THE POINT WHERE YOU MAKE TOO 805 00:26:59,100 --> 00:27:00,266 MUCH MONEY AND DON'T THINK YOU 806 00:27:00,333 --> 00:27:01,600 DESERVE IT, GIVE IT TO SOMEBODY 807 00:27:01,666 --> 00:27:03,133 WHO NEEDS IT BUT TO ACT LIKE 808 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,233 BLACK PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY 809 00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:06,066 DON'T DESERVE REPARATIONS IS 810 00:27:06,133 --> 00:27:08,233 ABSOLUTELY NUTS TO ME. 811 00:27:08,300 --> 00:27:08,833 [APPLAUSE] 812 00:27:08,900 --> 00:27:11,100 PUT IT LIKE THIS, AMERICA, JUST 813 00:27:11,166 --> 00:27:12,866 TREAT BLACK PEOPLE LIKE THEY ARE 814 00:27:12,933 --> 00:27:15,400 F-35 FIGHTER JETS, YOU HAVE 815 00:27:15,466 --> 00:27:16,066 $1.7 TRILLION TO THROW OUT THAT 816 00:27:16,133 --> 00:27:17,600 A BULLSHIT, THROW IT AT THE 817 00:27:17,666 --> 00:27:20,033 PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY BUILT THIS 818 00:27:20,100 --> 00:27:25,400 COUNTRY. 819 00:27:25,466 --> 00:27:25,866 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 820 00:27:25,933 --> 00:27:27,033 >> Bill: AGAIN, YOU DIDN'T 821 00:27:27,100 --> 00:27:28,900 BUILD THIS COUNTRY, YOU 822 00:27:28,966 --> 00:27:29,333 PERSONALLY DIDN'T. 823 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:30,666 >> SO WHAT'S? 824 00:27:30,733 --> 00:27:33,233 I'M A DESCENDANT OF -- 825 00:27:33,300 --> 00:27:35,000 >> Bill: I'M SAYING, WE CAN'T 826 00:27:35,066 --> 00:27:35,800 WRITE A CHECK TO A GHOST. 827 00:27:35,866 --> 00:27:39,233 >> WHY NOT? 828 00:27:39,300 --> 00:27:40,000 ESPECIALLY WHEN THE GHOSTS 829 00:27:40,066 --> 00:27:42,200 DESCENDANTS ARE STILL HERE. 830 00:27:42,266 --> 00:27:43,633 LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION, HOW 831 00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:45,866 DO YOU WRITE THE WRONG OF 832 00:27:45,933 --> 00:27:46,333 SLAVERY THEN? 833 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:47,900 >> Bill: I THINK REPARATIONS 834 00:27:47,966 --> 00:27:48,400 CAN COME IN MANY FORMS. 835 00:27:48,466 --> 00:27:51,633 >> WHY NOT, CASH IS KING, IT'S 836 00:27:51,700 --> 00:27:52,000 AMERICA. 837 00:27:52,066 --> 00:27:52,866 >> I THINK REPARATIONS TO COME 838 00:27:52,933 --> 00:27:54,933 IN MANY FORMS, WE SHOULD BE 839 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,500 SPENDING MUCH MORE ON SCHOOLS 840 00:27:56,566 --> 00:27:58,333 THAT SERVE BLACK CHILDREN, WE 841 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,300 SHOULD BE SPENDING MUCH MORE ON 842 00:28:00,366 --> 00:28:01,466 INFRASTRUCTURE AND PREDOMINATELY 843 00:28:01,533 --> 00:28:02,100 BLACK COMMUNITIES, WE SHOULD BE 844 00:28:02,166 --> 00:28:03,633 DOING ALL SORTS OF THINGS TO 845 00:28:03,700 --> 00:28:04,666 CLOSE THE OPPORTUNITY GAP WHICH 846 00:28:04,733 --> 00:28:06,733 IS ENORMOUS AND WE DONE A 847 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:07,466 TERRIBLE JOB CLOSING. 848 00:28:07,533 --> 00:28:09,333 A DEBT IS OWED AND IS ONE OF THE 849 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:10,866 WAYS YOU REPAY IT. 850 00:28:10,933 --> 00:28:12,466 THE PROBLEM I HAVE WITH THE 851 00:28:12,533 --> 00:28:13,466 REPARATIONS CONVERSATION IS THE 852 00:28:13,533 --> 00:28:15,900 QUESTION YOU'RE ASKING A MOMENT 853 00:28:15,966 --> 00:28:16,633 AGO, IT'S PRACTICALLY A 854 00:28:16,700 --> 00:28:17,700 NONSTARTER IN TERMS OF 855 00:28:17,766 --> 00:28:18,266 PRACTICALITY. 856 00:28:18,333 --> 00:28:19,566 NO ONE IS GOING TO AGREE ON THE 857 00:28:19,633 --> 00:28:21,666 TERMS, NO ONE IS GOING TO AGREE 858 00:28:21,733 --> 00:28:22,666 EXACTLY IN THE ELIGIBILITY 859 00:28:22,733 --> 00:28:24,266 CRITERIA, NO ONE IS GOING TO 860 00:28:24,333 --> 00:28:25,566 AGREE ON THE AMOUNT AND IT'S 861 00:28:25,633 --> 00:28:26,666 POLITICALLY VERY UNPOPULAR AND 862 00:28:26,733 --> 00:28:29,466 WHILE WE ARE TALKING ABOUT 863 00:28:29,533 --> 00:28:32,133 SOMETHING THAT I DON'T THINK IS 864 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:32,433 PASSABLE -- 865 00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:33,866 >> WHY IS IT NOT PASSABLE? 866 00:28:33,933 --> 00:28:35,733 >> LOOK AT PUBLIC OPINION POLLS, 867 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:36,466 IT'S JUST NOT GOING TO GET DONE 868 00:28:36,533 --> 00:28:38,666 AND THAT'S NOT ABOUT THE MERITS, 869 00:28:38,733 --> 00:28:40,066 THAT'S ABOUT THE APPEAL. 870 00:28:40,133 --> 00:28:41,700 IN THE MEANTIME, THERE'S SO MUCH 871 00:28:41,766 --> 00:28:43,833 WE SHOULD BE DOING THAT COULD BE 872 00:28:43,900 --> 00:28:45,266 CALLED REPARATIONS ABOUT THE 873 00:28:45,333 --> 00:28:45,766 DEBT WE OH. 874 00:28:45,833 --> 00:28:49,033 >> LET'S CHANGE THE NAME, CALL 875 00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:51,600 IT ECONOMIC EQUITY PACKAGES. 876 00:28:51,666 --> 00:28:53,400 >> Bill: YOU COULD SAY 877 00:28:53,466 --> 00:28:54,366 OBAMACARE WHICH HELPED BLACK AND 878 00:28:54,433 --> 00:28:55,900 BROWN PEOPLE WAY MORE THAN WHITE 879 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,300 PEOPLE -- OBVIOUSLY ALL PEOPLE 880 00:28:57,366 --> 00:28:59,533 CAN SIGN UP BUT THAT IS THE 881 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:00,766 PRACTICAL EFFECT OF IT, IS A 882 00:29:00,833 --> 00:29:03,300 FORM OF REPARATIONS. 883 00:29:03,366 --> 00:29:04,166 THERE'S A TAX THAT EVERYBODY 884 00:29:04,233 --> 00:29:06,600 PAYS, I DON'T THINK IT'S CAPPED. 885 00:29:06,666 --> 00:29:09,533 RICH PEOPLE PAY MORE. 886 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,733 THOSE KINDS OF SOLUTIONS ARE 887 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:12,700 DIFFERENT. 888 00:29:12,766 --> 00:29:13,733 THIS IS WHAT GLENN LARRY SAYS, 889 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,133 HE SAID IT FRAMES THE MORAL 890 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:16,766 CLAIMS AFRICAN-AMERICANS 891 00:29:16,833 --> 00:29:18,500 LEGITIMATELY HAVE IN THE WRONG 892 00:29:18,566 --> 00:29:19,966 WAY, THE IDEA THIS DEBT CAN BE 893 00:29:20,033 --> 00:29:22,400 PAID IS A TERRIBLE IDEA. 894 00:29:22,466 --> 00:29:24,466 >> HERE IS THING, ONCE AGAIN 895 00:29:24,533 --> 00:29:25,800 COMMITS WHITE PEOPLE NOT WANTED 896 00:29:25,866 --> 00:29:27,866 TO TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. 897 00:29:27,933 --> 00:29:29,400 >> Bill: THAT'S A BLACK 898 00:29:29,466 --> 00:29:29,633 PERSON. 899 00:29:29,700 --> 00:29:30,866 GLENN LARRY SAID THAT. 900 00:29:30,933 --> 00:29:32,300 >> WHAT'S THE NAME? 901 00:29:32,366 --> 00:29:34,300 >> Bill: GLENN LARRY, YOU KNOW 902 00:29:34,366 --> 00:29:36,666 GLENN LARRY. 903 00:29:36,733 --> 00:29:38,566 >> I TAKE THAT AS A DEBT OWED TO 904 00:29:38,633 --> 00:29:40,700 BLACK PEOPLE IN AMERICA AND I 905 00:29:40,766 --> 00:29:41,466 WILL ASK THE QUESTION, IF YOU 906 00:29:41,533 --> 00:29:42,766 DON'T THINK IT SHOULD BE CASH, 907 00:29:42,833 --> 00:29:46,066 WHAT SHOULD IT BE? 908 00:29:46,133 --> 00:29:47,733 I WANT TO KNOW, DO YOU THINK 909 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:48,866 BLACK PEOPLE SHOULD GET 910 00:29:48,933 --> 00:29:49,166 REPARATIONS? 911 00:29:49,233 --> 00:29:50,600 >> Bill: I THINK IT SHOULD BE 912 00:29:50,666 --> 00:29:53,466 MORE LIKE WHAT FRANK AND I ARE 913 00:29:53,533 --> 00:29:53,700 SAYING. 914 00:29:53,766 --> 00:29:54,666 I CHECKED? 915 00:29:54,733 --> 00:29:54,966 NO. 916 00:29:55,033 --> 00:29:58,800 IT SHOULD BE DONE MORE BY CLASS. 917 00:29:58,866 --> 00:30:00,233 21% OF BLACKS ARE BELOW THE 918 00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:00,666 POVERTY LINE. 919 00:30:00,733 --> 00:30:02,433 THAT MEANS WE ARE GIVING CHECKS 920 00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:04,433 TO 80% OF PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT IN 921 00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:05,433 POVERTY. 922 00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:09,466 SHOULDN'T BETTER BE DONE, WHAT I 923 00:30:09,533 --> 00:30:10,233 WAS STARTING THE SHOW WITH, IF 924 00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:13,066 WERE GOING TO PASS OUT MONEY -- 925 00:30:13,133 --> 00:30:15,700 >> PASS IT OUT TO THE 926 00:30:15,766 --> 00:30:16,266 DISENFRANCHISED, ABSOLUTELY. 927 00:30:16,333 --> 00:30:18,333 >> IS A ONE TIME CHECKED GOING 928 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:19,566 TO CHANGE A LIFE IS MUCH AS A 929 00:30:19,633 --> 00:30:21,233 REAL INVESTMENT IN EDUCATION, 930 00:30:21,300 --> 00:30:22,433 INVESTMENT IN YOUNG PEOPLE 931 00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:23,033 SOCIAL PROGRAMS? 932 00:30:23,100 --> 00:30:24,633 I THINK A DEBT IS OWED AND I 933 00:30:24,700 --> 00:30:26,500 HAVE NO PROBLEM PAYING IT IN 934 00:30:26,566 --> 00:30:27,266 CASH, I'M JUST TALKING ABOUT 935 00:30:27,333 --> 00:30:30,200 WHERE THE MONEY GOES TO HELP THE 936 00:30:30,266 --> 00:30:30,733 MOST NUMBER OF PEOPLE THE 937 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:31,000 QUICKEST. 938 00:30:31,066 --> 00:30:32,800 >> I THINK IT BE ALL OF THAT, 939 00:30:32,866 --> 00:30:33,933 THERE IS NO PRICE POINT YOU 940 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,333 COULD PUT ON REPARATIONS FOR 941 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:37,266 SLAVERY, NONE. 942 00:30:37,333 --> 00:30:39,100 THERE IS NO NUMBER YOU COULD PUT 943 00:30:39,166 --> 00:30:39,866 ON WHAT MY ANCESTORS WENT 944 00:30:39,933 --> 00:30:43,500 THROUGH IN THIS COUNTRY. 945 00:30:43,566 --> 00:30:44,233 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 946 00:30:44,300 --> 00:30:45,133 >> Bill: JOE BIDEN FAMOUSLY 947 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,300 SAID TO YOU, IF YOU HAVE A 948 00:30:47,366 --> 00:30:49,266 PROBLEM FIGURING OUT -- WHAT, 949 00:30:49,333 --> 00:30:51,033 DOES EVERYBODY ASK YOU THIS? 950 00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:52,600 IS THAT WHY YOU'RE LAUGHING? 951 00:30:52,666 --> 00:30:53,733 YOU WILL NEVER HEAR THE END OF 952 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:53,900 IT. 953 00:30:53,966 --> 00:30:57,333 >> IT'S COOL. 954 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,066 IT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY. 955 00:30:59,133 --> 00:31:01,500 >> Bill: HE SAID IF YOU HAVE A 956 00:31:01,566 --> 00:31:02,733 PROBLEM FIGURING OUT WHETHER TO 957 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:06,200 VOTE FOR ME OR TRUMP, YOU AIN'T 958 00:31:06,266 --> 00:31:07,133 BLACK. 959 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,800 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? 960 00:31:08,866 --> 00:31:12,466 I FIND THAT NOT HELPFUL. 961 00:31:12,533 --> 00:31:12,733 [LAUGHTER] 962 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:18,700 >> SHIT, HE STILL WON. 963 00:31:18,766 --> 00:31:20,133 >> Bill: NOT HELPFUL TO SAY TO 964 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,500 ANY GROUP OF PEOPLE, IF YOU 965 00:31:23,566 --> 00:31:24,700 AIN'T WITH ME, THEN YOU'RE NOT 966 00:31:24,766 --> 00:31:26,366 THIS, DON'T BE MY FRIEND 967 00:31:26,433 --> 00:31:27,633 ANYMORE -- FUCK OFF. 968 00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:30,033 WE DON'T ALL HAVE TO HAVE ONE 969 00:31:30,100 --> 00:31:30,800 TRUE OPINION. 970 00:31:30,866 --> 00:31:32,100 >> THAT'S WHEN YOU'RE TOO 971 00:31:32,166 --> 00:31:32,400 COMFORTABLE. 972 00:31:32,466 --> 00:31:34,133 >> Bill: YOU ARE SAYING HE WAS 973 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:34,533 TOO COMFORTABLE. 974 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:35,833 >> AND HE PROBABLY HAS BLACK 975 00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:37,566 PEOPLE AROUND HIM WHO HAVE SAID 976 00:31:37,633 --> 00:31:40,633 THAT BECAUSE THAT WAS A COMMON 977 00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:41,633 SENTIMENT, IF YOU VOTE FOR 978 00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:42,666 DONALD TRUMP, THERE'S NO WAY 979 00:31:42,733 --> 00:31:44,733 YOU'RE BLACK BECAUSE HE'S 980 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:46,033 AGAINST BLACK ISSUES -- I THINK 981 00:31:46,100 --> 00:31:46,866 HE HEARD THAT ONE TOO MANY TIMES 982 00:31:46,933 --> 00:31:49,000 AND HE THOUGHT HE COULD GET THAT 983 00:31:49,066 --> 00:31:52,066 OFF AND EVERYBODY WOULD BE LIKE 984 00:31:52,133 --> 00:31:54,233 "YEAH, JOE, WE AGREE WITH YOU!" 985 00:31:54,300 --> 00:31:55,433 >> Bill: AND TRUMPETED BETTER 986 00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:56,800 WITH BLACKS THAN HE DID THE 987 00:31:56,866 --> 00:31:58,300 FIRST TIME. 988 00:31:58,366 --> 00:31:59,333 >> I DON'T CARE. 989 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,466 >> I'M JUST SAYING, NOT EVERYONE 990 00:32:01,533 --> 00:32:03,833 AGREES WITH THAT. 991 00:32:03,900 --> 00:32:05,666 >> HE WAS DYING WHEN THOSE WORDS 992 00:32:05,733 --> 00:32:08,066 LEFT HIS MOUTH, HE HAS A LITTLE 993 00:32:08,133 --> 00:32:09,600 BIT OF A BRAIN-MOUTH 994 00:32:09,666 --> 00:32:10,466 COORDINATION PROBLEM. 995 00:32:10,533 --> 00:32:12,800 HIS HEART IS A DIFFERENT MATTER. 996 00:32:12,866 --> 00:32:14,633 WHAT'S ODD ABOUT THAT QUOTE IN 997 00:32:14,700 --> 00:32:16,100 RETROSPECT AS JOE BIDEN HAS 998 00:32:16,166 --> 00:32:18,633 BECOME OVER TIME, SUCH A HUMBLE 999 00:32:18,700 --> 00:32:18,800 MAN. 1000 00:32:18,866 --> 00:32:20,366 HIS PRESIDENCY THUS FAR IS SUCH 1001 00:32:20,433 --> 00:32:22,366 A PORTRAIT IN HUMILITY, NOT 1002 00:32:22,433 --> 00:32:23,800 POLICY WISE BUT HOW HE BEHAVES 1003 00:32:23,866 --> 00:32:25,866 AND THAT'S A VERY ARROGANT 1004 00:32:25,933 --> 00:32:27,433 REMARK TO MAKE AN OUT OF 1005 00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:27,700 CHARACTER. 1006 00:32:27,766 --> 00:32:29,900 >> Bill: YES, HE'S A GAFFE 1007 00:32:29,966 --> 00:32:30,133 MACHINE. 1008 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,100 SPEAKING OF WHICH, I WANT TO 1009 00:32:32,166 --> 00:32:33,733 BRING UP ANDREW CUOMO BECAUSE 1010 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:35,466 IT'S FUCKING FUNNY -- WHY SHOULD 1011 00:32:35,533 --> 00:32:36,566 I LIE? 1012 00:32:36,633 --> 00:32:39,400 IT'S FUNNY, IT'S A COMEDY SHOW. 1013 00:32:39,466 --> 00:32:41,600 HE'S JUST A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, 1014 00:32:41,666 --> 00:32:42,800 TERRIBLE WAY TO HIT ON WOMEN. 1015 00:32:42,866 --> 00:32:44,333 THIS IS A TERRIBLE TIME FOR HIS 1016 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,066 BOOK TO COME OUT 1017 00:32:47,133 --> 00:32:49,266 "GOVERNOR CUOMO'S BIG BOOK OF 1018 00:32:49,333 --> 00:32:50,400 PICKUP LINES." 1019 00:32:50,466 --> 00:32:51,400 WE HAVE A COPY RIGHT, WOULD YOU 1020 00:32:51,466 --> 00:32:54,666 LIKE TO HEAR? 1021 00:32:54,733 --> 00:32:55,000 IT'S TERRIBLE. 1022 00:32:55,066 --> 00:32:56,200 FOR EXAMPLE. 1023 00:32:56,266 --> 00:32:57,100 DO YOU LIKE PIZZA? 1024 00:32:57,166 --> 00:32:57,866 BECAUSE I'D LIKE A PIZZA THAT 1025 00:32:57,933 --> 00:33:03,066 ASS. 1026 00:33:03,133 --> 00:33:03,333 [LAUGHTER] 1027 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:04,700 HE'S TERRIBLE AT THIS. 1028 00:33:04,766 --> 00:33:05,866 DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN OR DO I 1029 00:33:05,933 --> 00:33:09,366 HAVE TO MOVE YOUR DESK CLOSER? 1030 00:33:09,433 --> 00:33:09,633 [LAUGHTER] 1031 00:33:09,700 --> 00:33:10,233 SEX WITH ME IS LIKE MANHATTAN 1032 00:33:10,300 --> 00:33:10,700 CONSTRUCTION. 1033 00:33:10,766 --> 00:33:14,833 IT GOES ALL NIGHT LONG. 1034 00:33:14,900 --> 00:33:15,000 NO! 1035 00:33:15,066 --> 00:33:16,233 YOU MAKE MY HEART RACE LIKE 1036 00:33:16,300 --> 00:33:17,133 COVID THROUGH A NEW YORK STATE 1037 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:22,466 NURSING HOME. 1038 00:33:22,533 --> 00:33:22,933 TERRIBLE PICKUP LINE! 1039 00:33:23,033 --> 00:33:23,233 [LAUGHTER] 1040 00:33:23,300 --> 00:33:23,500 [APPLAUSE] 1041 00:33:23,566 --> 00:33:24,300 DID YOU KNOW LONG ISLAND WAS 1042 00:33:24,366 --> 00:33:28,466 NAMED AFTER MY PENIS? 1043 00:33:28,533 --> 00:33:28,733 [LAUGHTER] 1044 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:34,900 MY BROTHER KNOWS DON LEMON. 1045 00:33:34,966 --> 00:33:35,166 [LAUGHTER] 1046 00:33:35,233 --> 00:33:35,733 [APPLAUSE] 1047 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:37,100 I ADMIT I'M NO GAVIN NEWSOM, BUT 1048 00:33:37,166 --> 00:33:37,800 DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DATE A 1049 00:33:37,866 --> 00:33:38,666 GOVERNOR WHO'S PRETTIER THAN 1050 00:33:38,733 --> 00:33:46,233 YOU? 1051 00:33:46,300 --> 00:33:48,900 [LAUGHTER] 1052 00:33:48,966 --> 00:33:49,833 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1053 00:33:49,900 --> 00:33:51,233 THAT'S ALL I'M GOING TO SAY 1054 00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:53,400 ABOUT IT THIS WEEK. 1055 00:33:53,466 --> 00:33:57,200 ANDREW CUOMO, LET ME PUT IT OUT 1056 00:33:57,266 --> 00:33:58,433 THERE -- HANGING OFFENSE OR NOT? 1057 00:33:58,500 --> 00:34:00,133 SHOULD HE GO? 1058 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,700 >> YOU WANT TO GO FIRST, FRANK? 1059 00:34:02,766 --> 00:34:04,433 >> I DON'T THINK HE SHOULD 1060 00:34:04,500 --> 00:34:06,100 RESIGN TODAY OR TOMORROW, OR 1061 00:34:06,166 --> 00:34:07,500 NEXT WEEK BECAUSE THERE IS AN 1062 00:34:07,566 --> 00:34:10,033 INVESTIGATION GOING ON AND I 1063 00:34:10,100 --> 00:34:11,400 BELIEVE IN THIS THING CALLED DUE 1064 00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:11,766 PROCESS. 1065 00:34:11,833 --> 00:34:14,633 >> Bill: STOP -- I'M SORRY TO 1066 00:34:14,700 --> 00:34:16,200 CUT YOU OFF, THIS IS ONE WHERE I 1067 00:34:16,266 --> 00:34:17,633 DON'T NEED AN INVESTIGATION. 1068 00:34:17,700 --> 00:34:19,600 I'VE ALWAYS SET ON THIS SHOW 1069 00:34:19,666 --> 00:34:21,233 THAT IT'S A CASE-BY-CASE BASIS. 1070 00:34:21,300 --> 00:34:22,100 SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE THAT 1071 00:34:22,166 --> 00:34:24,266 BECAUSE WE WENT TO A PLACE IN 1072 00:34:24,333 --> 00:34:25,700 2017 WHERE IT WAS ALWAYS 1073 00:34:25,766 --> 00:34:27,500 BELIEVED WOMEN AND IT WAS I 1074 00:34:27,566 --> 00:34:29,700 THINK WOMEN SHOULD ALWAYS BE 1075 00:34:29,766 --> 00:34:30,700 TAKEN SERIOUSLY. 1076 00:34:30,766 --> 00:34:31,000 AL FRANKEN? 1077 00:34:31,066 --> 00:34:33,433 I BELIEVE HIM, I DON'T THINK 1078 00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:33,800 HE'S THAT GUY. 1079 00:34:33,866 --> 00:34:35,300 >> HE DIDN'T GET ANY DUE 1080 00:34:35,366 --> 00:34:37,233 PROCESS, I'M NOT SAYING THE 1081 00:34:37,300 --> 00:34:38,466 CUOMO CASE IS AMBIGUOUS. 1082 00:34:38,533 --> 00:34:41,100 IT DOES SEEM WHAT HAPPENED WITH 1083 00:34:41,166 --> 00:34:41,500 THE 25-YEAR-OLD -- 1084 00:34:41,566 --> 00:34:42,866 >> Bill: I'M SAYING I BELIEVE 1085 00:34:42,933 --> 00:34:44,700 THESE WOMEN, COMPLETELY. 1086 00:34:44,766 --> 00:34:47,833 I DON'T NEED TO HAVE AN 1087 00:34:47,900 --> 00:34:48,433 INVESTIGATION, I BELIEVE EVERY 1088 00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:50,233 WORD THEY SAY. 1089 00:34:50,300 --> 00:34:54,100 >> MAYBE INSTEAD OF RESIGNATION 1090 00:34:54,166 --> 00:34:54,466 RESIGNATIONS -- 1091 00:34:54,533 --> 00:34:54,933 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1092 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,566 WE PUT HIM IN A ROOM WITH A 1093 00:34:56,633 --> 00:34:57,933 BUNCH OF LECHEROUS WOMEN 40 1094 00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,700 YEARS HIS SENIOR, THEY HIT ON 1095 00:34:59,766 --> 00:35:02,100 HIM AND HE TELLS US HOW 1096 00:35:02,166 --> 00:35:04,633 OBJECTIVE FIVE HE FEELS. 1097 00:35:04,700 --> 00:35:05,833 [LAUGHTER] 1098 00:35:05,900 --> 00:35:07,133 >> IT'S INTERESTING BECAUSE IT'S 1099 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,066 THE EPITOME OF ARROGANCE AND 1100 00:35:10,133 --> 00:35:12,266 PRIVILEGE FOR SOMEBODY TO STILL 1101 00:35:12,333 --> 00:35:13,166 BE ACTING LIKE THAT AFTER THE 1102 00:35:13,233 --> 00:35:16,100 #MeToo TIME. 1103 00:35:16,166 --> 00:35:18,333 THERE SHOULD BE SOME TYPE OF 1104 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:19,000 SELF CORRECTION, ALL MEN SHOULD 1105 00:35:19,066 --> 00:35:20,966 HAVE SELF CORRECTION AND IF YOU 1106 00:35:21,033 --> 00:35:22,633 DIDN'T HAVE SELF CORRECTION, IT 1107 00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:24,466 WILL LEAD TO SELF-DESTRUCTION. 1108 00:35:24,533 --> 00:35:25,666 IN THE CASE OF GOVERNOR CUOMO, 1109 00:35:25,733 --> 00:35:26,866 IT'S HARD TO ASK THEM TO RESIGN 1110 00:35:26,933 --> 00:35:29,833 WHEN TO YOUR POINT, YOU VOTED 1111 00:35:29,900 --> 00:35:30,600 FOR JOE BIDEN. 1112 00:35:30,666 --> 00:35:32,766 IF YOU WEREN'T UPSET WITH 1113 00:35:32,833 --> 00:35:34,866 JOE BIDEN WHO HAD MORE SERIOUS 1114 00:35:34,933 --> 00:35:35,200 ALLEGATIONS -- 1115 00:35:35,266 --> 00:35:37,866 >> Bill: NO HE DIDN'T. 1116 00:35:37,933 --> 00:35:39,633 >> HE WAS ACCUSED OF ACTUAL 1117 00:35:39,700 --> 00:35:39,833 RAPE. 1118 00:35:39,900 --> 00:35:41,700 >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1119 00:35:41,766 --> 00:35:44,433 >> Bill: ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT 1120 00:35:44,500 --> 00:35:45,200 THE HALLWAY INCIDENT? 1121 00:35:45,266 --> 00:35:46,600 >> TARA READE TO. 1122 00:35:46,666 --> 00:35:48,033 >> Bill: I DON'T BELIEVE THAT. 1123 00:35:48,100 --> 00:35:49,666 IF SOME I BELIEVE, SOME I DON'T, 1124 00:35:49,733 --> 00:35:52,300 THAT'S MY RIGHT. 1125 00:35:52,366 --> 00:35:54,033 DON'T BELIEVE HER, THESE WOMEN I 1126 00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:55,200 BELIEVE COMPLETELY. 1127 00:35:55,266 --> 00:35:56,666 I DON'T BELIEVE JOE BIDEN IS THE 1128 00:35:56,733 --> 00:35:59,466 GUY WHO FINGER BANGS YOU IN THE 1129 00:35:59,533 --> 00:35:59,866 HALLWAY, I DON'T. 1130 00:35:59,933 --> 00:36:01,866 >> THAT'S TO MY POINT, I'M NOT 1131 00:36:01,933 --> 00:36:03,200 SAYING I BELIEVE HER EITHER, I'M 1132 00:36:03,266 --> 00:36:05,033 SAYING HE HAD MORE SERIOUS 1133 00:36:05,100 --> 00:36:06,300 ALLEGATIONS LEVELED AGAINST HIM 1134 00:36:06,366 --> 00:36:07,433 AND I DIDN'T HEAR PEOPLE ASK FOR 1135 00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:09,733 HIM TO RESIGN AND DROP OUT OF 1136 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:10,033 THE RACE. 1137 00:36:10,100 --> 00:36:11,300 >> HE DOESN'T IF YOU TAKE THAT 1138 00:36:11,366 --> 00:36:12,800 OUT OF IT, IF YOU TAKE THAT 1139 00:36:12,866 --> 00:36:15,266 INCIDENT OUT -- SHE DENIED THAT 1140 00:36:15,333 --> 00:36:16,366 100% AGAIN AND AGAIN, ANDREW 1141 00:36:16,433 --> 00:36:19,633 CUOMO HAS SAID ABOUT THE 1142 00:36:19,700 --> 00:36:21,366 25-YEAR-OLD EIGHT "WHEN I ASKED 1143 00:36:21,433 --> 00:36:22,533 HER IF SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE 1144 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,666 COOL TO HAVE SEX WITH OLDER MEN, 1145 00:36:24,733 --> 00:36:26,766 IT WAS MISINTERPRETED." 1146 00:36:26,833 --> 00:36:28,466 >> JOE BIDEN SAID THE SAME 1147 00:36:28,533 --> 00:36:30,866 THING, I'M GOING TO START 1148 00:36:30,933 --> 00:36:32,333 RESPECTING WOMEN'S PERSONAL 1149 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:32,633 SPACE MORE. 1150 00:36:32,700 --> 00:36:33,366 >> Bill: THAT WAS DIFFERENT, 1151 00:36:33,433 --> 00:36:35,766 THAT WAS WHEN HE WAS SNIFFING 1152 00:36:35,833 --> 00:36:37,033 THEIR HAIR, THE FIRST 1153 00:36:37,100 --> 00:36:39,700 ALLEGATION, IT WASN'T EVEN 1154 00:36:39,766 --> 00:36:40,700 #MeToo INTERPRETED THAT WAY IN 1155 00:36:40,766 --> 00:36:43,033 THE PRESS, HE WAS TRYING TO DO 1156 00:36:43,100 --> 00:36:44,700 AN OLD MAN THING. 1157 00:36:44,766 --> 00:36:46,600 >> HARASSMENT IS HARASSMENT. 1158 00:36:46,666 --> 00:36:47,200 >> Bill: NO IT'S NOT. 1159 00:36:47,266 --> 00:36:49,000 >> I DON'T THINK WE CAN TELL 1160 00:36:49,066 --> 00:36:51,466 WOMEN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 1161 00:36:51,533 --> 00:36:52,000 SNIFFING HERE AND SAYING 1162 00:36:52,066 --> 00:36:52,633 SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE BECAUSE 1163 00:36:52,700 --> 00:36:56,266 I THINK IT'S JUST AS WEIRD. 1164 00:36:56,333 --> 00:36:57,466 IF I SNIFF YOUR HAIR RIGHT NOW 1165 00:36:57,533 --> 00:36:59,866 WHAT YOU THINK IT WAS WEIRD? 1166 00:36:59,933 --> 00:37:02,366 >> HE WAS LAUGHING AT THE PHRASE 1167 00:37:02,433 --> 00:37:02,700 SNIFFING HAIR. 1168 00:37:02,766 --> 00:37:03,700 >> Bill: HE WAS TRYING TO SHOW 1169 00:37:03,766 --> 00:37:06,466 HER ENCOURAGEMENT. 1170 00:37:06,533 --> 00:37:07,400 >> WALKED? 1171 00:37:07,466 --> 00:37:11,033 >> Bill: HE WAS! 1172 00:37:11,100 --> 00:37:12,200 SHE WAS ABOUT TO MAKE A SPEECH, 1173 00:37:12,266 --> 00:37:13,833 HE CAME UP BEHIND HER JUST TO BE 1174 00:37:13,900 --> 00:37:16,400 LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO DO GOOD OUT 1175 00:37:16,466 --> 00:37:21,666 THERE HONEY [SNIFFING] 1176 00:37:21,733 --> 00:37:21,933 [LAUGHTER] 1177 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:22,200 [APPLAUSE] 1178 00:37:22,266 --> 00:37:23,766 LET'S NOT PRETEND WE LIVE IN 1179 00:37:23,833 --> 00:37:24,733 THIS WORLD WERE ALL THESE THINGS 1180 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:26,800 ARE THE SAME. 1181 00:37:26,866 --> 00:37:28,666 >> I AGREE WITH THAT. 1182 00:37:28,733 --> 00:37:30,633 BUT I WONDER HOW THEY PICK AND 1183 00:37:30,700 --> 00:37:31,666 CHOOSE WHO THEY BELIEVE, HOW DID 1184 00:37:31,733 --> 00:37:33,766 THEY PICK AND CHOOSE WHO THEY 1185 00:37:33,833 --> 00:37:34,400 THINK SHOULD RESIGN. 1186 00:37:34,466 --> 00:37:37,566 >> Bill: WHO IS THEY? 1187 00:37:37,633 --> 00:37:38,433 >> DEMOCRATS, THE MEDIA. 1188 00:37:38,500 --> 00:37:41,066 >> Bill: IT'S INDIVIDUALS, 1189 00:37:41,133 --> 00:37:42,600 IT'S YOUR BULLSHIT METER, WHAT 1190 00:37:42,666 --> 00:37:44,466 YOU THINK IS REAL, CERTAINLY 1191 00:37:44,533 --> 00:37:45,533 BASED ON THE CHARACTER OF THE 1192 00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:46,966 PERSON AND WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT 1193 00:37:47,033 --> 00:37:48,166 THEM IN THE PAST. 1194 00:37:48,233 --> 00:37:50,633 WHAT SEEMS LOGICAL, WHAT SEEMS 1195 00:37:50,700 --> 00:37:51,233 RATIONAL. 1196 00:37:51,300 --> 00:37:53,700 WHAT I HATE ABOUT THE CUOMO 1197 00:37:53,766 --> 00:37:55,466 THING, DON'T LIE. 1198 00:37:55,533 --> 00:37:57,200 DON'T GIVE ME THIS BULLSHIT 1199 00:37:57,266 --> 00:37:58,533 ABOUT I WASN'T MAKING 1200 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,800 ADVANCES -- YES YOU WERE. 1201 00:38:00,866 --> 00:38:02,133 >> HE COMPLETELY WAS! 1202 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,866 >> Bill: BE REAL ABOUT IT, I'M 1203 00:38:04,933 --> 00:38:06,800 LONELY, I'M HORNY, THERE'S 1204 00:38:06,866 --> 00:38:07,866 NOTHING SADDER THAN A MAN WITH 1205 00:38:07,933 --> 00:38:09,633 NO GAME, AND MY RIGHT? 1206 00:38:09,700 --> 00:38:11,566 >> HE THINKS HE'S AN UNTOUCHABLE 1207 00:38:11,633 --> 00:38:12,266 MOB BOSS. 1208 00:38:12,333 --> 00:38:13,533 I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH GREASE YOU 1209 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,400 PUT IN YOUR HAIR, YOU'RE NOT AN 1210 00:38:16,466 --> 00:38:17,166 UNTOUCHABLE MOB BOSS. 1211 00:38:17,233 --> 00:38:19,233 >> HE'S A BULLY THROUGH AND 1212 00:38:19,300 --> 00:38:21,100 THROUGH, A BULLY ACROSS EVERY 1213 00:38:21,166 --> 00:38:21,733 SECTOR OF HIS LIFE. 1214 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,866 I HOPE WE IN THE MEDIA HAVE 1215 00:38:23,933 --> 00:38:25,766 LEARNED A LESSON HERE ABOUT 1216 00:38:25,833 --> 00:38:27,066 DEMONIZING AND DEIFYING PEOPLE. 1217 00:38:27,133 --> 00:38:28,700 GO BACK AND LOOK AT THE MARCH 1218 00:38:28,766 --> 00:38:30,866 AND APRIL WHEN CUOMO WAS DOING 1219 00:38:30,933 --> 00:38:31,833 THOSE DAILY NEWS CONFERENCES. 1220 00:38:31,900 --> 00:38:33,733 THERE WERE ALL SORTS OF THINGS 1221 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:35,266 BEING WRITTEN, CAN WE GET BIDEN 1222 00:38:35,333 --> 00:38:38,000 OFF THE TICKET AND THIS GUY IN? 1223 00:38:38,066 --> 00:38:38,766 >> Bill: YES. 1224 00:38:38,833 --> 00:38:45,400 IF I WROTE ONE OF THEM MYSELF. 1225 00:38:45,466 --> 00:38:46,366 LET'S GET CUOMO IN THERE. 1226 00:38:46,433 --> 00:38:48,433 >> LOOK HOW THE TABLES HAVE 1227 00:38:48,500 --> 00:38:48,666 TURNED. 1228 00:38:48,733 --> 00:38:50,866 YOU GO FROM A HERO TO PUBLIC 1229 00:38:50,933 --> 00:38:51,833 ENEMY NUMBER ONE JUST THAT FAST. 1230 00:38:51,900 --> 00:38:54,333 >> WE DEIFY PEOPLE TO QUICKLY 1231 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:54,933 AND WE DEMONIZE THEM. 1232 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,300 >> Bill: TOAST OF THE TOWN TO 1233 00:38:57,366 --> 00:38:58,233 TOAST. 1234 00:38:58,300 --> 00:38:59,300 >> MY DAD ALWAYS SAID YOU'RE 1235 00:38:59,366 --> 00:39:00,533 NEVER AS GOOD AS THEY SAY A WIDE 1236 00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:01,700 AND ARE NEVER AS BAD AS THEY SAY 1237 00:39:01,766 --> 00:39:03,133 YOU ARE, IF HE JUST STAY RIGHT 1238 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:06,233 IN THAT MIDDLE, YOU'LL BE FINE. 1239 00:39:06,300 --> 00:39:07,266 >> Bill: THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE 1240 00:39:07,333 --> 00:39:08,100 WHO DON'T LIKE WHEN I TALK ABOUT 1241 00:39:08,166 --> 00:39:11,166 THIS NEXT SUBJECT BUT I'M SORRY, 1242 00:39:11,233 --> 00:39:14,500 I CAN'T LISTEN TO 24/7 MEDIA 1243 00:39:14,566 --> 00:39:17,133 TALKING ABOUT COVID DEATH, 1244 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,833 500,000 CONSTANT UPDATES, HOW 1245 00:39:19,900 --> 00:39:22,066 MANY PEOPLE HAVE DIED AND IT IS 1246 00:39:22,133 --> 00:39:24,433 A LIFE AND DEATH ISSUE. 1247 00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:25,633 WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT OBESITY 1248 00:39:25,700 --> 00:39:29,566 AND THE FACT THAT THE MEDIA AND 1249 00:39:29,633 --> 00:39:33,800 THE FAUCIS WON'T IS AN EXAMPLE 1250 00:39:33,866 --> 00:39:35,300 OF THEIR TREMENDOUS COWARDICE IN 1251 00:39:35,366 --> 00:39:36,566 THE FACE OF THE "HOW DARE YOU 1252 00:39:36,633 --> 00:39:40,766 REMIND ME I'M FAT" LOBBY. 1253 00:39:40,833 --> 00:39:41,900 THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT OF AN 1254 00:39:41,966 --> 00:39:44,600 ISSUE NOT TO TALK ABOUT. 1255 00:39:44,666 --> 00:39:45,666 THIS IS "THE WASHINGTON POST" 1256 00:39:45,733 --> 00:39:47,400 THIS WEEK. 1257 00:39:47,466 --> 00:39:48,433 THE VAST MAJORITY OF CORONAVIRUS 1258 00:39:48,500 --> 00:39:50,800 DEATHS OCCURRED IN NATIONS WITH 1259 00:39:50,866 --> 00:39:53,433 HIGH LEVELS OF OBESITY. 1260 00:39:53,500 --> 00:39:55,400 88% OF DEATHS WERE IN COUNTRIES 1261 00:39:55,466 --> 00:39:56,100 WHERE MORE THAN HALF THE 1262 00:39:56,166 --> 00:40:00,400 POPULATION IS OVERWEIGHT FAUCI 1263 00:40:00,466 --> 00:40:02,366 WHEN TRUMP LEFT, HIS FIRST PRESS 1264 00:40:02,433 --> 00:40:04,633 CONFERENCE HE SAID THANK GOD, 1265 00:40:04,700 --> 00:40:06,033 THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD. 1266 00:40:06,100 --> 00:40:08,666 HE SAID "LET THE SCIENCE SPEAK." 1267 00:40:08,733 --> 00:40:09,700 BUT THIS IS THE SCIENCE AND HE 1268 00:40:09,766 --> 00:40:13,866 NEVER SPEAKS ABOUT IT. 1269 00:40:13,933 --> 00:40:16,966 HE NEVER TALKS ABOUT HOW WE HAVE 1270 00:40:17,033 --> 00:40:19,600 TO BE INVESTED IN OUR OWN 1271 00:40:19,666 --> 00:40:20,933 HEALTH. 1272 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:21,766 IT'S WHAT'S THE MOST CRUCIAL 1273 00:40:21,833 --> 00:40:22,633 THING TO YOUR OUTCOME. 1274 00:40:22,700 --> 00:40:25,566 >> I THINK THAT'S WHAT THEY MEAN 1275 00:40:25,633 --> 00:40:26,433 WHEN THEY SAY UNDERLYING 1276 00:40:26,500 --> 00:40:27,433 CONDITIONS. 1277 00:40:27,500 --> 00:40:30,300 INSTEAD OF JUST SAYING WHAT 1278 00:40:30,366 --> 00:40:31,300 UNDERLYING CONDITIONS ARE, THEY 1279 00:40:31,366 --> 00:40:33,633 JUST SAY UNDERLYING CONDITIONS. 1280 00:40:33,700 --> 00:40:36,000 THAT'S ALL I GOT. 1281 00:40:36,066 --> 00:40:37,866 I'M NOT GOING TO BE ON TWITTER 1282 00:40:37,933 --> 00:40:38,400 TOMORROW WITH YOU GETTING 1283 00:40:38,466 --> 00:40:40,800 ATTACKED BY ALL OF THE OBESE 1284 00:40:40,866 --> 00:40:42,700 PEOPLE. 1285 00:40:42,766 --> 00:40:43,233 [LAUGHTER] 1286 00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:43,400 'S. 1287 00:40:43,466 --> 00:40:45,633 LEAST THAT'S HONEST. 1288 00:40:45,700 --> 00:40:48,266 >> PICK YOUR BATTLES IN 2021! 1289 00:40:48,333 --> 00:40:49,733 >> Bill: I ADMIRE THAT, I'M 1290 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,600 JUST NOT GOING THERE. 1291 00:40:53,666 --> 00:40:54,966 [APPLAUSE] 1292 00:40:55,033 --> 00:40:56,633 OKAY, I'LL BE THE GUY. 1293 00:40:56,700 --> 00:40:58,833 >> TO THE EXTENT THAT THERE IS A 1294 00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:00,233 RELUCTANCE TO TALK ABOUT OBESITY 1295 00:41:00,300 --> 00:41:01,466 AS AN UNDERLYING CONDITION, I 1296 00:41:01,533 --> 00:41:02,700 DON'T THINK THAT'S ABOUT IT 1297 00:41:02,766 --> 00:41:03,633 BEING IRRESPONSIBLE WITH 1298 00:41:03,700 --> 00:41:04,600 SCIENCE, I THINK IT'S ABOUT 1299 00:41:04,666 --> 00:41:06,466 TRYING TO RECOGNIZE FOR MANY, 1300 00:41:06,533 --> 00:41:09,000 MANY YEARS AND TO THIS DAY, 1301 00:41:09,066 --> 00:41:10,333 PEOPLE WHO ARE OVERWEIGHT ARE 1302 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:11,666 SHAMED IN THIS COUNTRY. 1303 00:41:11,733 --> 00:41:12,733 THEY ARE STRUGGLING WITH IT, 1304 00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,833 THEY'RE NOT JUST KIND OF 1305 00:41:14,900 --> 00:41:16,933 GRABBING BAG AFTER BAG OF FRITOS 1306 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,466 WITH ABANDON AND NOT CARING -- I 1307 00:41:18,533 --> 00:41:19,666 KNOW WHEREOF I SPEAK, IT'S A 1308 00:41:19,733 --> 00:41:22,066 TOUGH THING TO LOSE WEIGHT, TO 1309 00:41:22,133 --> 00:41:23,466 KEEP WEIGHT OFF. 1310 00:41:23,533 --> 00:41:25,666 I THINK WHEN WE SHY AWAY FROM 1311 00:41:25,733 --> 00:41:26,966 TALKING TOO MUCH ABOUT OBESITY 1312 00:41:27,033 --> 00:41:28,033 AS AN UNDERLYING CONDITION, I 1313 00:41:28,100 --> 00:41:29,666 THINK WE ARE TRYING TO BE 1314 00:41:29,733 --> 00:41:31,266 BIGHEARTED AND GENEROUS AND 1315 00:41:31,333 --> 00:41:31,900 UNDERSTAND HUMANS ARE IMPERFECT 1316 00:41:31,966 --> 00:41:32,633 AND PEOPLE REALLY DO STRUGGLE 1317 00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:35,366 WITH THIS AND DON'T WANT TO BE 1318 00:41:35,433 --> 00:41:35,766 DEMONIZED FOR IT. 1319 00:41:35,833 --> 00:41:37,766 [APPLAUSE] 1320 00:41:37,833 --> 00:41:40,166 >> Bill: BUT THIS IS LIFE AND 1321 00:41:40,233 --> 00:41:42,366 DEATH, I AGREE, NOT SHAMING, NOT 1322 00:41:42,433 --> 00:41:43,866 MAKING FUN -- I'VE DONE THINGS 1323 00:41:43,933 --> 00:41:47,666 ABOUT THIS ISSUE, I'VE NEVER 1324 00:41:47,733 --> 00:41:49,200 DONE CHEAP FAT JOKES WITH IT. 1325 00:41:49,266 --> 00:41:52,366 TO NOT BRING IT UP, TO NOT EVER 1326 00:41:52,433 --> 00:41:55,333 GO THERE -- I ALSO READ LAST 1327 00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:59,233 WEEK THAT LIVER DISEASE THROUGH 1328 00:41:59,300 --> 00:41:59,833 THE ROOF BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE AT 1329 00:41:59,900 --> 00:42:03,133 HOME DRINKING. 1330 00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:04,566 THEY DON'T MENTION THAT EITHER. 1331 00:42:04,633 --> 00:42:06,400 IT'S NOT JUST OBESITY, IT'S 1332 00:42:06,466 --> 00:42:08,400 ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH 1333 00:42:08,466 --> 00:42:10,366 YOUR OWN PERSONAL HEALTH, TAKING 1334 00:42:10,433 --> 00:42:11,566 CARE OF YOUR OWN SELF 1335 00:42:11,633 --> 00:42:12,000 INTERNALLY. 1336 00:42:12,066 --> 00:42:15,400 THIS BATTLE HAS TO BE WON TWO 1337 00:42:15,466 --> 00:42:16,066 WAYS. 1338 00:42:16,133 --> 00:42:17,300 YOU HAVE MASKS AND SOCIAL 1339 00:42:17,366 --> 00:42:18,366 DISTANCING AND VACCINES, THAT'S 1340 00:42:18,433 --> 00:42:19,833 THE EXTERNAL. 1341 00:42:19,900 --> 00:42:22,433 NEVER WORRIED ABOUT THE INTERNAL 1342 00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:24,200 WHERE YOU HAVE THE BETTER CHANCE 1343 00:42:24,266 --> 00:42:24,833 OF WINNING THE GAME. 1344 00:42:24,900 --> 00:42:26,500 >> IT'S NOT LIKE THIS COUNTRY 1345 00:42:26,566 --> 00:42:30,400 PROMOTES HEALTHY LIVING. 1346 00:42:30,466 --> 00:42:30,966 >> Bill: THAT'S RIGHT! 1347 00:42:31,033 --> 00:42:31,966 >> HOW MANY TIMES YOU TURN ON 1348 00:42:32,033 --> 00:42:33,466 THE TV AND SEE A COMMERCIAL FOR 1349 00:42:33,533 --> 00:42:34,300 SOMETHING HEALTHY AS OPPOSED TO 1350 00:42:34,366 --> 00:42:35,633 A COMMERCIAL FOR SOME TYPE OF 1351 00:42:35,700 --> 00:42:38,033 FAST FOOD OR EVEN SOME TYPE OF 1352 00:42:38,100 --> 00:42:39,233 ALCOHOL? 1353 00:42:39,300 --> 00:42:40,566 AND AT CERTAIN PEOPLE LIVE IN 1354 00:42:40,633 --> 00:42:42,400 THESE COMMUNITIES, MOSTLY BLACK 1355 00:42:42,466 --> 00:42:44,133 AND BROWN PEOPLE WHERE THERE ARE 1356 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:45,566 FOOD DESERTS, THEY WILL HAVE 1357 00:42:45,633 --> 00:42:47,000 ACCESS TO HEALTHY FOOD. 1358 00:42:47,066 --> 00:42:49,100 >> Bill: THAT SOMETHING SHOULD 1359 00:42:49,166 --> 00:42:50,200 PUT MONEY INTO. 1360 00:42:50,266 --> 00:42:51,633 >> 100%! 1361 00:42:51,700 --> 00:42:56,400 >> Bill: INSTEAD OF $1400 TO 1362 00:42:56,466 --> 00:42:56,666 GRANDMA -- 1363 00:42:56,733 --> 00:43:00,600 >> OR THE F-35 FIGHTER JETS! 1364 00:43:00,666 --> 00:43:02,466 >> Bill: I TALKED ABOUT IT 1365 00:43:02,533 --> 00:43:04,300 LAST WEEK, I MENTIONED IT LAST 1366 00:43:04,366 --> 00:43:04,666 WEEK RIGHT HERE! 1367 00:43:04,733 --> 00:43:07,233 >> DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE 1368 00:43:07,300 --> 00:43:10,200 YOU COULD FEED HEALTHY WITH 1369 00:43:10,266 --> 00:43:10,533 $1.7 TRILLION? 1370 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:12,266 >> IF YOU GO BACK TO THE OBAMA 1371 00:43:12,333 --> 00:43:14,200 ADMINISTRATION YOU WOULD FIND 1372 00:43:14,266 --> 00:43:15,133 MANY EFFORTS PUT INTO HEALTHY 1373 00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:16,000 LIVING AND YOU'LL FIND A 1374 00:43:16,066 --> 00:43:16,866 VEGETABLE GARDEN AT THE 1375 00:43:16,933 --> 00:43:17,633 WHITE HOUSE THAT WAS MEANT TO BE 1376 00:43:17,700 --> 00:43:19,033 A LESSON FOR THE COUNTRY AND 1377 00:43:19,100 --> 00:43:20,800 THEN WE HAD FOUR YEARS A 1378 00:43:20,866 --> 00:43:23,000 PRESIDENT WHO THOUGHT KFC WAS 1379 00:43:23,066 --> 00:43:23,433 HEALTH-FOOD. 1380 00:43:23,500 --> 00:43:25,033 >> A FAT AS PRESIDENT, YOU GOT 1381 00:43:25,100 --> 00:43:26,733 TO CALL IT WHAT IT IS. 1382 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:28,300 YOU CAN EXPECT A FAT AS 1383 00:43:28,366 --> 00:43:28,566 PRESIDENT. 1384 00:43:28,633 --> 00:43:30,933 >> I DON'T SHAME PEOPLE. 1385 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,100 >> Bill: IT'S ALWAYS OKAY TO 1386 00:43:33,166 --> 00:43:34,100 SHAME THEM WHEN THE REPUBLICANS. 1387 00:43:34,166 --> 00:43:36,800 I CAN MAKE AS MANY FAT JOKES 1388 00:43:36,866 --> 00:43:38,200 ABOUT CHRIS CHRISTIE AND TRUMP 1389 00:43:38,266 --> 00:43:41,433 ALL DAY LONG AND THAT'S COOL. 1390 00:43:41,500 --> 00:43:43,766 >> I WILL SHAMED DONALD TRUMP 1391 00:43:43,833 --> 00:43:45,633 FOR HIS STUPIDITY AND MENDACITY 1392 00:43:45,700 --> 00:43:49,100 AND COMPLETE IMMORALITY, NOT -- 1393 00:43:49,166 --> 00:43:51,733 >> WE ARE NOT SHAMING, I THOUGHT 1394 00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:52,733 IT WAS AN ADJECTIVE. 1395 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:56,800 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 1396 00:43:56,866 --> 00:43:58,266 AT ASS TRUMP, HE SPAT. 1397 00:43:58,333 --> 00:44:01,866 >> Bill: EXACTLY. 1398 00:44:01,933 --> 00:44:03,233 PROBABLY THE LAST THING I'LL GET 1399 00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:06,233 TO, COCA-COLA LAST WEEK THEY PUT 1400 00:44:06,300 --> 00:44:07,700 OUT A DIVERSITY TRAINING THING 1401 00:44:07,766 --> 00:44:09,400 ASKING THEIR EMPLOYEES TO BE 1402 00:44:09,466 --> 00:44:11,900 LESS WHITE IN THE FIRST THING I 1403 00:44:11,966 --> 00:44:14,300 THOUGHT WAS THAT'S KIND OF TURN 1404 00:44:14,366 --> 00:44:16,033 AROUND FAIR PLAY BECAUSE I'VE 1405 00:44:16,100 --> 00:44:16,733 CERTAINLY HEARD A LOT OF 1406 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:17,733 AFRICAN-AMERICANS TALK ABOUT HOW 1407 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:20,066 IN THE OFFICE THEY HAD TO BE 1408 00:44:20,133 --> 00:44:21,600 LESS BLACK AND O.J. SIMPSON SAID 1409 00:44:21,666 --> 00:44:23,033 IT FAMOUSLY HE WAS LIKE WHEN I 1410 00:44:23,100 --> 00:44:25,766 GO ON THE AIR, I HAVE TO TALK 1411 00:44:25,833 --> 00:44:26,433 WHITE AND I HAVE TO COMPORT 1412 00:44:26,500 --> 00:44:28,066 MYSELF IN A DIFFERENT WAY, I 1413 00:44:28,133 --> 00:44:30,133 HAVE TO LIVE IN TWO DIFFERENT 1414 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:30,366 WORLDS. 1415 00:44:30,433 --> 00:44:33,100 IT'S NOT LIKE UNPRECEDENTED TO 1416 00:44:33,166 --> 00:44:34,633 ASK A CERTAIN GROUP OF PEOPLE TO 1417 00:44:34,700 --> 00:44:39,366 BE LESS OF WHAT YOU ARE, RIGHT? 1418 00:44:39,433 --> 00:44:41,500 BUT IS THIS THE WAY OF THE 1419 00:44:41,566 --> 00:44:42,366 FUTURE? 1420 00:44:42,433 --> 00:44:44,700 IS THIS REVENGE, IS THIS 1421 00:44:44,766 --> 00:44:47,033 JUSTIFIED REVENGE, IS IT 1422 00:44:47,100 --> 00:44:47,266 JUSTICE? 1423 00:44:47,333 --> 00:44:50,600 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE LESS 1424 00:44:50,666 --> 00:44:51,366 WHITE. 1425 00:44:51,433 --> 00:44:51,933 I DANCE BETTER? 1426 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,200 SPEAK IT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN 1427 00:44:54,266 --> 00:44:57,033 WHEN THEY SAY BE LESS WHITE. 1428 00:44:57,100 --> 00:45:00,100 >> Bill: I REALLY DON'T. 1429 00:45:00,166 --> 00:45:01,733 >> WE LIVE IN A COUNTRY THAT'S 1430 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:03,300 FULL OF WHITE SUPREMACY, WE KNOW 1431 00:45:03,366 --> 00:45:05,833 PEOPLE ARE RACIST AND BIGOTED, I 1432 00:45:05,900 --> 00:45:08,033 THINK PEOPLE HAVE A LOT OF 1433 00:45:08,100 --> 00:45:09,433 UNCONSCIOUS BIASES WHEN THEY ARE 1434 00:45:09,500 --> 00:45:09,866 WHITE. 1435 00:45:09,933 --> 00:45:11,000 >> Bill: NOT JUST WHITE. 1436 00:45:11,066 --> 00:45:13,433 >> I THINK ASKING SOMEBODY TO BE 1437 00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:14,766 LESS WHITE IS JUST TO SAY USE 1438 00:45:14,833 --> 00:45:17,666 YOUR PRIVILEGE TO COMBAT THE 1439 00:45:17,733 --> 00:45:18,633 PREJUDICE THAT EXISTS WITHIN 1440 00:45:18,700 --> 00:45:19,100 THIS WORKPLACE. 1441 00:45:19,166 --> 00:45:21,866 IF YOU'RE A WHITE MAN, WHITE 1442 00:45:21,933 --> 00:45:24,400 WOMAN, USE YOUR PRIVILEGE YOU 1443 00:45:24,466 --> 00:45:25,400 HAVE TWO COMBAT PREJUDICE 1444 00:45:25,466 --> 00:45:26,566 AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE. 1445 00:45:26,633 --> 00:45:28,533 IF YOU'RE A MAN, USE OR 1446 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:29,866 PRIVILEGE TO COMBAT SEXISM 1447 00:45:29,933 --> 00:45:32,566 AGAINST WOMEN, USE YOUR STRAIGHT 1448 00:45:32,633 --> 00:45:35,266 PRIVILEGE TO COMBAT PREJUDICE 1449 00:45:35,333 --> 00:45:36,533 THAT EXISTS AGAINST LGBTQ 1450 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:38,066 COMMUNITY, THAT'S ALL THEY ARE 1451 00:45:38,133 --> 00:45:40,533 ASKING YOU TO DO. 1452 00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,166 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1453 00:45:42,233 --> 00:45:44,000 >> THE GOAL IS RIGHTEOUS BUT I 1454 00:45:44,066 --> 00:45:45,433 DON'T THINK THAT LANGUAGE GETS 1455 00:45:45,500 --> 00:45:46,400 US THERE, I THINK IT'S 1456 00:45:46,466 --> 00:45:47,400 COUNTERPRODUCTIVE BECAUSE I 1457 00:45:47,466 --> 00:45:48,000 DON'T KNOW WHAT BE LESS WHITE 1458 00:45:48,066 --> 00:45:48,700 MEANS. 1459 00:45:48,766 --> 00:45:50,800 I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE MORE 1460 00:45:50,866 --> 00:45:52,533 SENSITIVE AND TO BE LESS HASTY 1461 00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:53,400 IN MY JUDGMENTS AND BE LESS 1462 00:45:53,466 --> 00:45:57,433 BIGOTED I STRIVE TO BE THOSE 1463 00:45:57,500 --> 00:45:57,666 THINGS. 1464 00:45:57,733 --> 00:45:59,866 >> BECAUSE YOU'RE WHITE, AND I'M 1465 00:45:59,933 --> 00:46:01,033 BLACK AND I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT 1466 00:46:01,100 --> 00:46:04,533 MEANS WHEN THEY SAY BE LESS 1467 00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:05,166 WHITE. 1468 00:46:05,233 --> 00:46:06,166 I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN 1469 00:46:06,233 --> 00:46:07,566 THEY TELL SOMEBODY TO BE LESS 1470 00:46:07,633 --> 00:46:08,566 WHITE BECAUSE I'VE BEEN DEALING 1471 00:46:08,633 --> 00:46:10,800 WITH WHITE PEOPLE MY WHOLE LIFE 1472 00:46:10,866 --> 00:46:12,666 AND I DON'T EVEN THINK SOMETIMES 1473 00:46:12,733 --> 00:46:13,366 WHITE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THE 1474 00:46:13,433 --> 00:46:14,433 PRIVILEGE AND THE POWER THEY 1475 00:46:14,500 --> 00:46:15,833 POSSESS IN THIS COUNTRY. 1476 00:46:15,900 --> 00:46:17,500 I REALLY DON'T, ESPECIALLY OLDER 1477 00:46:17,566 --> 00:46:18,133 WHITE MALES AND I THINK THAT'S 1478 00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:19,033 WHY A LOT OF OLDER WHITE MALES 1479 00:46:19,100 --> 00:46:20,033 THINK THEY'RE BEING TARGETED 1480 00:46:20,100 --> 00:46:21,366 WHEN THE TRUTH IS THEY ARE JUST 1481 00:46:21,433 --> 00:46:23,300 BEING HELD ACCOUNTABLE. 1482 00:46:23,366 --> 00:46:23,600 [APPLAUSE] 1483 00:46:23,666 --> 00:46:25,366 AND WHEN YOU HAVE SO MUCH 1484 00:46:25,433 --> 00:46:27,433 PRIVILEGE AND SO MUCH POWER AND 1485 00:46:27,500 --> 00:46:29,566 YOU'RE NOT USED TO BEING HELD 1486 00:46:29,633 --> 00:46:30,566 ACCOUNTABLE, YOU THINK FAIRNESS 1487 00:46:30,633 --> 00:46:32,000 IS OPPRESSION. 1488 00:46:32,066 --> 00:46:34,066 I JUST WANT YOU TO TREAT US 1489 00:46:34,133 --> 00:46:35,600 FAIR, THAT'S IT. 1490 00:46:35,666 --> 00:46:36,800 NOW THAT YOU'RE ASKING Y'ALL TO 1491 00:46:36,866 --> 00:46:38,766 TREAT US FAIR, YOU'RE LIKE "I'M 1492 00:46:38,833 --> 00:46:41,100 A VICTIM NOW, I FEEL OPPRESSED 1493 00:46:41,166 --> 00:46:43,166 AND I FEEL MARGINALIZED." 1494 00:46:43,233 --> 00:46:44,066 NO, WE JUST WANT FAIRNESS. 1495 00:46:44,133 --> 00:46:45,600 >> Bill: I WOULD ALSO JUST 1496 00:46:45,666 --> 00:46:47,200 LIKE TO POINT OUT, COCA-COLA IS 1497 00:46:47,266 --> 00:46:51,300 NOT GOOD FOR OBESITY. 1498 00:46:51,366 --> 00:46:53,800 NOW IT'S TIME FOR NEW RULES, 1499 00:46:53,866 --> 00:46:54,666 EVERYBODY, NEW RULES. 1500 00:46:54,733 --> 00:46:57,300 THANK YOU, GUYS. 1501 00:46:57,366 --> 00:46:58,466 NEW RULE: WE HAVE TO ADMIT THAT 1502 00:46:58,533 --> 00:46:59,133 NOW THAT WE'VE GOTTEN THESE 1503 00:46:59,200 --> 00:46:59,966 RESULTS FOR THE JOHNSON AND 1504 00:47:00,033 --> 00:47:00,700 JOHNSON VACCINE. 1505 00:47:00,766 --> 00:47:02,000 IT'S HARD TO IGNORE THAT THINGS 1506 00:47:02,066 --> 00:47:08,066 ARE LOOKING UP. 1507 00:47:08,133 --> 00:47:09,566 [LAUGHTER] 1508 00:47:09,633 --> 00:47:10,166 IT'S NICE TO SEE POSITIVE TEST 1509 00:47:10,233 --> 00:47:10,433 [APPLAUSE] 1510 00:47:10,500 --> 00:47:11,566 RESULTS THAT ARE AS HAPPY TO SEE 1511 00:47:11,633 --> 00:47:19,200 ME AS I AM TO SEE THEM. 1512 00:47:19,266 --> 00:47:20,100 [LAUGHTER] 1513 00:47:20,166 --> 00:47:20,566 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1514 00:47:20,633 --> 00:47:21,500 NEW RULE: SOMEONE MUST TELL 1515 00:47:21,566 --> 00:47:22,166 HASBRO, WHO JUST ANNOUNCED 1516 00:47:22,233 --> 00:47:23,066 THEY'RE DROPPING THE "MR." 1517 00:47:23,133 --> 00:47:24,333 IN "MR. POTATO HEAD" TO BE MORE 1518 00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:26,500 "GENDER NEUTRAL," THAT NOT 1519 00:47:26,566 --> 00:47:27,133 HAVING GENITALS IS GENDER 1520 00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:35,100 NEUTRAL ENOUGH. 1521 00:47:35,166 --> 00:47:36,966 [LAUGHTER] 1522 00:47:37,033 --> 00:47:37,300 >> VERY TRUE. 1523 00:47:37,366 --> 00:47:38,833 >> Bill: AND BEFORE YOU SAY 1524 00:47:38,900 --> 00:47:40,366 THIS WHOLE THING SOUNDS 1525 00:47:40,433 --> 00:47:42,766 COMPLETELY INSANE, KNOW THIS, 1526 00:47:42,833 --> 00:47:47,133 THAT SALES ARE THROUGH THE ROOF 1527 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:50,766 AT TOYS R THEY. 1528 00:47:50,833 --> 00:47:51,066 [LAUGHTER] 1529 00:47:51,133 --> 00:47:51,833 [APPLAUSE] 1530 00:47:51,900 --> 00:47:52,933 NEW RULE: SOMEONE HAS TO TELL 1531 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:53,900 ERICA FARMER, WHO'S BEEN ACCUSED 1532 00:47:53,966 --> 00:47:55,566 OF NOT ONLY STEALING HER 1533 00:47:55,633 --> 00:47:56,900 NEIGHBOR'S GOAT, BUT PAINTING IT 1534 00:47:56,966 --> 00:47:58,000 - IF YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO 1535 00:47:58,066 --> 00:48:01,200 THINK YOU'RE GUILTY, TRY WIPING 1536 00:48:01,266 --> 00:48:02,033 THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE THAT 1537 00:48:02,100 --> 00:48:02,633 SAYS, "I'LL STEAL YOUR FUCKIN' 1538 00:48:02,700 --> 00:48:09,000 GOAT AND PAINT IT TOO." 1539 00:48:09,066 --> 00:48:09,366 [LAUGHTER] 1540 00:48:09,433 --> 00:48:09,966 [APPLAUSE] 1541 00:48:10,033 --> 00:48:10,966 NEW RULE: NOW THAT PARIS HILTON 1542 00:48:11,033 --> 00:48:12,033 HAS A PODCAST, SOMEONE HAS TO 1543 00:48:12,100 --> 00:48:13,833 FIND ONE PERSON IN AMERICA WHO 1544 00:48:13,900 --> 00:48:14,633 SAW PARIS STRUGGLE TO GET OUT OF 1545 00:48:14,700 --> 00:48:16,633 A LIMO WITH A POODLE IN ONE HAND 1546 00:48:16,700 --> 00:48:18,533 AND A COSMO IN THE OTHER AND 1547 00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:19,566 SAID, "I WONDER WHAT SHE'S 1548 00:48:19,633 --> 00:48:28,133 THINKING?" 1549 00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:28,400 [LAUGHTER] 1550 00:48:28,466 --> 00:48:28,666 [APPLAUSE] 1551 00:48:28,733 --> 00:48:29,800 NEW RULE: SINCE AMERICA'S BROKEN 1552 00:48:29,866 --> 00:48:31,133 HEALTH-CARE SYSTEM CHARGES 1553 00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:32,433 PEOPLE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO 1554 00:48:32,500 --> 00:48:33,666 TAKE AN AMBULANCE, UBER SHOULD 1555 00:48:33,733 --> 00:48:35,433 COMPETE WITH ITS OWN EMERGENCY 1556 00:48:35,500 --> 00:48:45,166 SERVICE UBERLANCE. 1557 00:48:45,233 --> 00:48:45,433 [LAUGHTER] 1558 00:48:45,500 --> 00:48:46,066 IT'S THE SAME AS A REGULAR UBER, 1559 00:48:46,133 --> 00:48:46,333 [APPLAUSE] 1560 00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:46,966 EXCEPT THERE'S BAND AIDS AND 1561 00:48:47,033 --> 00:48:48,100 GAUZE IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT, 1562 00:48:48,166 --> 00:48:49,300 AND THE DRIVER PROMISES NOT TO 1563 00:48:49,366 --> 00:48:50,300 TALK ABOUT HIS SCREENPLAY WHILE 1564 00:48:50,366 --> 00:48:56,600 YOU'RE BLEEDING OUT. 1565 00:48:56,666 --> 00:48:57,566 [LAUGHTER] 1566 00:48:57,633 --> 00:48:58,900 [APPLAUSE] 1567 00:48:58,966 --> 00:48:59,966 AND FINALLY, NEW RULE. 1568 00:49:00,033 --> 00:49:01,133 IT'S TIME TO RAISE AWARENESS 1569 00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:02,966 ABOUT A VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM: 1570 00:49:03,033 --> 00:49:05,300 RAISING AWARENESS. 1571 00:49:05,366 --> 00:49:11,433 WE RAISE TOO MUCH OF IT, AND 1572 00:49:11,500 --> 00:49:11,933 [LAUGHTER] 1573 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:12,333 [APPLAUSE] 1574 00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:13,400 IT'S MAKING US CRAZY, ANXIOUS 1575 00:49:13,466 --> 00:49:15,433 AND DEPRESSED. 1576 00:49:15,500 --> 00:49:17,466 MUST WE BE SAD ABOUT EVERYTHING 1577 00:49:17,533 --> 00:49:19,133 ALL THE TIME, MOST OF WHICH WE 1578 00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:20,600 CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT? 1579 00:49:20,666 --> 00:49:21,533 THE RIBBONS, THE FLAGS, THE ADS, 1580 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,166 THE HASHTAGS - IT'S LIKE THAT 1581 00:49:23,233 --> 00:49:24,333 PERSON ON THE PLANE IN THE NEXT 1582 00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:25,733 SEAT WHO WON'T TAKE A HINT THAT 1583 00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:29,400 YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK. 1584 00:49:29,466 --> 00:49:29,666 [LAUGHTER] 1585 00:49:29,733 --> 00:49:30,533 PLEASE, I JUST WANT TO LOOK OUT 1586 00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:31,500 THE WINDOW AS THE ENGINE 1587 00:49:31,566 --> 00:49:35,366 EXPLODES. 1588 00:49:35,433 --> 00:49:35,633 [LAUGHTER] 1589 00:49:35,700 --> 00:49:36,566 AND SINCE IT'S AWARD SEASON, 1590 00:49:36,633 --> 00:49:39,266 TONIGHT I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE 1591 00:49:39,333 --> 00:49:41,100 THIS RIBBON TO RAISE AWARENESS 1592 00:49:41,166 --> 00:49:41,866 OF THE GROWING EPIDEMIC OF 1593 00:49:41,933 --> 00:49:51,033 RAISING AWARENESS. 1594 00:49:51,100 --> 00:49:53,066 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1595 00:49:53,133 --> 00:49:54,866 IN MARCH ALONE, WE ARE MARKING 1596 00:49:54,933 --> 00:49:56,100 WORLD GLAUCOMA WEEK, NATIONAL 1597 00:49:56,166 --> 00:49:58,000 POISON PREVENTION WEEK, 1598 00:49:58,066 --> 00:49:59,966 INTERNATIONAL HPV AWARENESS DAY 1599 00:50:00,033 --> 00:50:02,666 AND WORLD DOWN SYNDROME DAY. 1600 00:50:02,733 --> 00:50:04,166 MARCH IS ALSO NATIONAL COLO 1601 00:50:04,233 --> 00:50:05,666 RECTAL CANCER AWARENESS MONTH, 1602 00:50:05,733 --> 00:50:07,233 BRAIN INJURY AWARENESS MONTH, 1603 00:50:07,300 --> 00:50:09,100 BLEEDING DISORDERS AWARENESS 1604 00:50:09,166 --> 00:50:10,466 MONTH, AND NATIONAL DEEP-VEIN 1605 00:50:10,533 --> 00:50:13,600 THROMBOSIS AWARENESS MONTH. 1606 00:50:13,666 --> 00:50:14,933 THAT'S THE MONTH OF MARCH FOR 1607 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:16,166 YOU - IT COMES IN LIKE A BRAIN 1608 00:50:16,233 --> 00:50:17,233 INJURY AND GOES OUT LIKE DEEP 1609 00:50:17,300 --> 00:50:24,733 VEIN THROMBOSIS. 1610 00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:25,000 [LAUGHTER] 1611 00:50:25,066 --> 00:50:25,333 [APPLAUSE] 1612 00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:27,600 OH, AND LEST I FORGET, THIS 1613 00:50:27,666 --> 00:50:28,533 MONDAY KICKS OFF WORLD SALT 1614 00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:29,600 AWARENESS WEEK - A WHOLE WEEK TO 1615 00:50:29,666 --> 00:50:35,033 BE AWARE OF SALT. 1616 00:50:35,100 --> 00:50:35,300 [LAUGHTER] 1617 00:50:35,366 --> 00:50:35,700 I THOUGHT WE WERE. 1618 00:50:35,766 --> 00:50:36,033 [APPLAUSE] 1619 00:50:36,100 --> 00:50:37,100 IS THERE SOMEONE OUT THERE 1620 00:50:37,166 --> 00:50:37,866 THINKING, "WHY DO RESTAURANTS 1621 00:50:37,933 --> 00:50:38,700 ALWAYS PUT THE COCAINE RIGHT 1622 00:50:38,766 --> 00:50:47,666 NEXT TO THE PEPPER?" 1623 00:50:47,733 --> 00:50:47,933 [LAUGHTER] 1624 00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:48,600 WE'RE SO AWARE 24/7 OF EVERY BAD 1625 00:50:48,666 --> 00:50:49,400 [APPLAUSE] 1626 00:50:49,466 --> 00:50:51,100 THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN 1627 00:50:51,166 --> 00:50:53,100 THAT WE'VE COMPLETELY RUN OUT OF 1628 00:50:53,166 --> 00:50:55,600 COLORS. 1629 00:50:55,666 --> 00:50:57,333 PURPLE IS NOW THE COLOR FOR 1630 00:50:57,400 --> 00:50:58,566 ALZHEIMER'S, LUPUS, EPILEPSY, 1631 00:50:58,633 --> 00:51:02,833 FIBROMYALGIA, AND THE OPIOID 1632 00:51:02,900 --> 00:51:05,166 CRISIS. 1633 00:51:05,233 --> 00:51:06,200 I USED TO LIKE THAT COLOR - NOW 1634 00:51:06,266 --> 00:51:10,200 IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME. 1635 00:51:10,266 --> 00:51:10,833 EVERYTHING YOU CAN BUY NOW COMES 1636 00:51:10,900 --> 00:51:11,433 IN A PINK VERSION TO RAISE 1637 00:51:11,500 --> 00:51:13,566 AWARENESS OF BREAST CANCER 1638 00:51:13,633 --> 00:51:15,233 INCLUDING A PINK DRILL BIT FOR 1639 00:51:15,300 --> 00:51:17,166 FRACKING, WHICH IS PROBABLY 1640 00:51:17,233 --> 00:51:21,100 GIVING US CANCER. 1641 00:51:21,166 --> 00:51:26,300 STAPLES SELLS PINK BREAST-CANCER 1642 00:51:26,366 --> 00:51:27,400 AWARENESS PENS, PAPER CLIPS, 1643 00:51:27,466 --> 00:51:28,566 SCISSORS - EVEN A PINK STAPLER 1644 00:51:28,633 --> 00:51:31,333 SHAPED LIKE A RIBBON. 1645 00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:32,733 WALKING THE AISLES THERE IS LIKE 1646 00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:36,033 A VISIT TO THE CANCER MUSEUM. 1647 00:51:36,100 --> 00:51:36,300 [LAUGHTER] 1648 00:51:36,366 --> 00:51:37,233 AM I A TERRIBLE PERSON BECAUSE 1649 00:51:37,300 --> 00:51:38,100 I'D LIKE TO BUY OFFICE SUPPLIES 1650 00:51:38,166 --> 00:51:38,933 WITHOUT NEEDING A DRINK 1651 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:42,566 AFTERWARD? 1652 00:51:42,633 --> 00:51:42,833 [LAUGHTER] 1653 00:51:42,900 --> 00:51:43,433 FOOTBALL PLAYERS WITH PINK 1654 00:51:43,500 --> 00:51:45,333 SHOES? 1655 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:46,766 LOOK, LET ME GO ON RECORD AND 1656 00:51:46,833 --> 00:51:48,100 SAY I AM AGAINST BREAST CANCER. 1657 00:51:48,166 --> 00:51:49,566 BUT I'M TRYING TO ESCAPE FOR A 1658 00:51:49,633 --> 00:51:50,866 FEW HOURS - CAN I JUST WATCH THE 1659 00:51:50,933 --> 00:51:52,366 GAME WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT 1660 00:51:52,433 --> 00:51:55,766 CANCER? 1661 00:51:55,833 --> 00:51:58,800 WE'VE ALL HEARD ABOUT IT. 1662 00:51:58,866 --> 00:52:00,533 [APPLAUSE] 1663 00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:01,300 IT'S LIKE RAISING AWARENESS FOR 1664 00:52:01,366 --> 00:52:02,733 DEATH. 1665 00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:03,666 "HEY, WHAT'S THAT BLACK RIBBON 1666 00:52:03,733 --> 00:52:04,366 FOR?" 1667 00:52:04,433 --> 00:52:06,933 "DEATH." 1668 00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:07,900 "WHAT'S THAT?" 1669 00:52:07,966 --> 00:52:11,766 "IT'S WHEN YOU'RE NOT ALIVE 1670 00:52:11,833 --> 00:52:14,833 ANYMORE -- WOULD YOU LIKE TO 1671 00:52:14,900 --> 00:52:16,833 HEAR MORE?" 1672 00:52:16,900 --> 00:52:17,600 BUDWEISER PULLED THEIR ADS FROM 1673 00:52:17,666 --> 00:52:18,633 THIS YEAR'S SUPER BOWL AND 1674 00:52:18,700 --> 00:52:19,700 DONATED THE MONEY TO RAISE 1675 00:52:19,766 --> 00:52:20,366 AWARENESS ABOUT COVID, WHICH I'M 1676 00:52:20,433 --> 00:52:21,733 PRETTY AWARE OF. 1677 00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:22,600 HEY, BUDWEISER - YOU WEREN'T PUT 1678 00:52:22,666 --> 00:52:23,833 ON EARTH TO RAISE MY AWARENESS - 1679 00:52:23,900 --> 00:52:24,700 YOU WERE PUT ON EARTH TO LOWER 1680 00:52:24,766 --> 00:52:31,600 IT. 1681 00:52:31,666 --> 00:52:34,100 [LAUGHTER] 1682 00:52:34,166 --> 00:52:34,566 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1683 00:52:34,633 --> 00:52:35,166 HUMANS NEED TO ZONE OUT 1684 00:52:35,233 --> 00:52:36,333 SOMETIMES. 1685 00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,533 THAT'S WHY MARIJUANA IS SO 1686 00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:43,333 POPULAR. 1687 00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:44,566 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1688 00:52:44,633 --> 00:52:44,933 AND MEDITATING. 1689 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:45,933 IT'S NOT A "PRIVILEGE" TO TAKE A 1690 00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:46,766 BREAK FROM EVERYONE ELSE'S 1691 00:52:46,833 --> 00:52:48,666 PROBLEMS - IT'S AN IMPERATIVE. 1692 00:52:48,733 --> 00:52:49,800 NOT EVERY AD ON TV NEEDS TO 1693 00:52:49,866 --> 00:52:51,066 CHASTISE ME FOR NOT DOING ENOUGH 1694 00:52:51,133 --> 00:52:53,000 BECAUSE I'M SITTING AROUND 1695 00:52:53,066 --> 00:52:55,433 WATCHING TV. 1696 00:52:55,500 --> 00:52:56,333 I CAN'T EVEN WATCH THE PRICE IS 1697 00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:57,533 RIGHT WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT 1698 00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:04,633 CUTTING MY DOG'S BALLS OFF. 1699 00:53:04,700 --> 00:53:04,900 [LAUGHTER] 1700 00:53:04,966 --> 00:53:06,166 [APPLAUSE] 1701 00:53:06,233 --> 00:53:07,633 CREW MEMBERS ON THE MAJOR 1702 00:53:07,700 --> 00:53:08,866 AIRLINES NOW WEAR BLACK LIVES 1703 00:53:08,933 --> 00:53:10,833 MATTER PINS DURING THE FLIGHT. 1704 00:53:10,900 --> 00:53:12,633 YOU KNOW, YOU CAN SUPPORT A 1705 00:53:12,700 --> 00:53:13,633 MOVEMENT WITHOUT BEING 1706 00:53:13,700 --> 00:53:15,533 CONSTANTLY REMINDED OF IT. 1707 00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,233 CAN I JUST GET A RUM AND COKE 1708 00:53:17,300 --> 00:53:18,100 AND HOLD THE WHITE GUILT TRIP 1709 00:53:18,166 --> 00:53:20,966 'TIL WE LAND? 1710 00:53:21,033 --> 00:53:22,000 MUST WE USE EVERY AVAILABLE 1711 00:53:22,066 --> 00:53:25,166 PLATFORM AS AN ISSUE BILLBOARD - 1712 00:53:25,233 --> 00:53:26,466 CLOTHING, COMMERCIALS, SOCIAL 1713 00:53:26,533 --> 00:53:27,066 MEDIA, SPORTING EVENTS, AWARD 1714 00:53:27,133 --> 00:53:28,766 SHOWS. 1715 00:53:28,833 --> 00:53:30,733 MILK. 1716 00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:31,833 I FEEL LIKE THIS ALL STARTED 1717 00:53:31,900 --> 00:53:33,333 WITH MILK. 1718 00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:34,800 SOMEONE IN THE '80S LOOKED AT A 1719 00:53:34,866 --> 00:53:35,700 MILK CARTON AND SAID, "WHAT A 1720 00:53:35,766 --> 00:53:37,533 WASTE - NOT USING MILK AS A 1721 00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:39,666 VEHICLE FOR MISSING CHILDREN TO 1722 00:53:39,733 --> 00:53:41,366 PLEAD WITH YOU TO PUT DOWN THE 1723 00:53:41,433 --> 00:53:42,366 SHREDDED WHEAT AND GET OUT THERE 1724 00:53:42,433 --> 00:53:50,233 AND CRACK MY COLD CASE!" 1725 00:53:50,300 --> 00:53:52,766 [LAUGHTER] 1726 00:53:52,833 --> 00:53:53,566 [APPLAUSE] 1727 00:53:53,633 --> 00:53:55,400 I DON'T HAVE A LAB WHERE I CAN 1728 00:53:55,466 --> 00:53:59,166 CURE CANCER. 1729 00:53:59,233 --> 00:54:00,533 I'M NOT A P.I. 1730 00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:02,033 AND THAT'S THE PART ABOUT THIS 1731 00:54:02,100 --> 00:54:03,000 STUFF THAT BUGS ME. 1732 00:54:03,066 --> 00:54:04,166 IT'S NOT ACTUALLY DOING 1733 00:54:04,233 --> 00:54:06,666 SOMETHING. 1734 00:54:06,733 --> 00:54:08,733 THAT RIBBON ISN'T THERE TO MAKE 1735 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:09,666 ME THINK SO MUCH AS TO RAISE 1736 00:54:09,733 --> 00:54:10,633 AWARENESS OF WHAT A GOOD PERSON 1737 00:54:10,700 --> 00:54:15,766 YOU ARE. 1738 00:54:15,833 --> 00:54:18,300 THIS IS TO ACTIVISM WHAT PUTTING 1739 00:54:18,366 --> 00:54:20,933 A FLAG ON YOUR CAR IS TO 1740 00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:21,633 PATRIOTISM. 1741 00:54:21,700 --> 00:54:22,766 SO IN APRIL, PLEASE, WON'T YOU 1742 00:54:22,833 --> 00:54:23,933 JOIN ME FOR CHILL THE FUCK OUT 1743 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:24,866 MONTH. 1744 00:54:24,933 --> 00:54:26,600 OKAY, THAT'S OUR SHOW. 1745 00:54:26,666 --> 00:54:27,700 I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS FRANK 1746 00:54:27,766 --> 00:54:28,400 BRUNI, CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD AND 1747 00:54:28,466 --> 00:54:29,566 JOE SCARBOROUGH. 1748 00:54:29,633 --> 00:54:32,866 WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! 1749 00:54:32,933 --> 00:54:37,066 THANK YOU FOLKS, YOU WERE GREAT! 1750 00:54:37,133 --> 00:54:41,266 ♪ ♪ 1751 00:54:41,333 --> 00:54:44,766 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1752 00:54:44,833 --> 00:54:54,466 ♪ ♪ 1753 00:54:54,533 --> 00:54:59,933 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1754 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,000 ♪ ♪