Montauk train on track B.
Random thoughts for Valentine's Day, 2004.
Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies...
Last call...
to make people feel like crap.
I ditched work today.
Took a train out to Montauk.
Montauk train boarding on track B.
I don't know why.
I'm not an impulsive person.
I guess I just woke up in a funk this morning.
I gotta get my car fixed.
Hi. Cindy?
It's Joel. Joel!
Listen, I don't feel very well today.
No, food poisoning, I think.
It's goddamn freezing on this beach.
Montauk in February. Brilliant, Joel.
Page is ripped out.
Don't remember doing that.
It appears this is my first entry in two years.
Sand is overrated.
It's just tiny little rocks.
If only I could meet someone new.
I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished,
seeing that I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman I don't know.
Maybe I should get back together with Naomi.
She was nice. Nice is good.
She loved me.
Why do I fall in love with every woman I see...
who shows me the least bit of attention?
Hi.
I'm sorry?
- I just said hi. - Hi. Hello. Hi.
Okay if I sit closer?
How far are you going?
Uh, Rockville Center.
Get out! Me too!
- Really? - What are the odds?
Do I know you?
Do you ever shop at Barnes & Noble?
- Sure. Sure. - That's it!
- Yeah? - I've seen you, man!
Book slave there for, like, five years now.
- Ah. I would have thought I would've remembered you. - Jesus! Is it five years?
It might be the hair.
- What might? - It changes a lot.
The color. That's why you might not recognize me.
- It's called Blue Ruin, the color. - Right. Yeah.
- Snappy name, huh? - I like it.
Yeah.
Anyway, this company makes a whole line of colors with equally snappy names.
Red... Red Menace, Yellow Fever, Green Revolution.
That'd be a job, coming up with those names.
You think there could possibly be a job like that?
I mean, how many hair colors could there be? Fifty, maybe.
Someone's got that job.
Agent Orange! I came up with that one.
I apply my personality in a paste.
Oh, I doubt that very much.
Well, you don't know me, so...
you don't know, do you?
Sorry. I was just... I'm trying to be nice.
Yeah. I got it.
- My name's Clementine, by the way. - I'm Joel.
- Hi, Joel. - Hey.
No jokes about my name.
Oh, no, you wouldn't do that. You're trying to be nice.
I don't know any jokes about your name.
Huckleberry Hound.
I don't know what that means.
Huckleberry Hound? What are you, nuts?
It's been suggested.
Oh, my darlin', oh, my darlin' Oh, my darlin' Clementine
You were lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry Clementine
No?
I'm sorry. Just... It's a pretty name, though. It really is nice.
It's, uh... It means "merciful".
Right? Clemency?
Although it hardly fits.
I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told.
Gee, I-I wouldn't think that about you.
- Why wouldn't you think that about me? - I don't know.
I just...
I don't know. I just, uh...
You seem nice, so...
Oh, now I'm nice?
Oh, God. Don't you know any other adjectives?
I don't need "nice".
- I don't need myself to be it, and I don't need anybody else to be it at me. - Okay.
Joel?
It's Joel, right?
Yes.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
I'm a little out of sorts today.
My embarrassing admission is,
I really like that you're nice right now.
I mean, I can't tell from one moment to the next what I'm gonna like,
but right now...
I'm glad you are.
I have so much stuff that, uh, I probably should, uh...
- Oh! I'm sorry. Okay. - I-I'm writing, and...
- No, no. I just... - Sure. No. That's okay.
- I just have... You know, this is... - Okay.
- Ohh! Hey! - Take care, then.
Jesus!
Hi. I could, uh, give you a ride, if you need.
It's cold.
- Yeah. Okay. Yeah. - Yeah?
It is frosty.
- You're not a stalker or anything, right? - I'm not a stalker.
You're the one that talked to me. Remember?
That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Really? There's a stalker book?
- Mm-hmm. - Okay.
I gotta read that one.
Look, I'm sorry if I came off sorta nutso. I'm not, really.
Oh, it's okay. I didn't think you were.
Did you wanna have a drink?
I have lots of drinks, and I could, um...
Um...
Never mind.
- Sorry. That was stupid. I'm embarrassed now. - No, no, no, no.
Good night, Joel.
Two Blue Ruins.
Thank you.
Drink up, young man.
It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.
I'm just kidding!
Come on.
You're kinda closed-mouthed, aren't you?
I'm sorry.
It's just, you know, my life isn't that interesting.
I go to work, I come home.
Don't know what to say.
You should read my journal.
I mean, it's just... blank.
Really? Does that make you sad or anxious?
I mean, I'm always anxious, thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest,
taking advantage of every possibility,
making sure I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have.
- I think about that. - Yeah?
You're really nice.
- Ohh! - God, I have to stop saying that.
I'm gonna marry you.
I know it.
Um... okay.
Joel, you should come up to the Charles with me sometime.
It gets frozen this time of year.
- That sounds scary. - Exactly.
I'll pack a picnic.
A night picnic. Night picnics are different.
And, um, we could...
Sounds good.
But I... I should, uh, go. Now.
You should stay.
No, I really... I'm... I...
I have to get up so early.
I would like you to call me.
Would you do that? I would like it.
Yes.
Wish me a happy Valentine's Day when you call!
That'd be nice.
What took you so long?
I just walked in.
Mm-hmm. You miss me?
Yeah. Oddly enough, I do.
Oh!
You said "I do". I guess that means were married.
I guess so.
Tomorrow night? Honeymoon on ice?
It's really solid this time of year.
Whoa! I don't know.
- Come on. Come on. - Eee!
Come on. Come on, come on.
Whew.
Oh. So beautiful.
Isn't it?
Uh, don't go too far.
- Whoo! Oww! Ow! - Whoa! Oh!
- Are you okay? - Ouch! Fuck it.
Ohh! Oh, my ass!
- I think I should go back. - Come on. Come on!
What if it breaks?
- "What if"? Do you really care right now? - Huh?
Come here. Please.
Come on.
- Ohh. - Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
- Slidy-slidy. Slidy-slidy. - Whoa!
- This is good. - Here, let me show you this one thing.
What are you doing? Whoa.
Come on.
Think I heard a crack.
It's not gonna crack or break or...
It's so thick.
Show me which constellations you know.
Um... Oh.
I don't... know any.
Show me which ones you know.
Okay.
Oh. Here's Osidius.
Where?
Right there. See?
Sort of a swoop and a cross.
Osidius the Emphatic.
- You're full of shit. Right? - Nope.
Osidius is right there. Swoop and cross.
Shut the fuck up!
Clementine.
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
- Hey. - Hey.
- Hey. - Sorry to wake you, but we're... here.
Ahh.
Can I come over to your house...
to sleep?
I'm so tired.
Okay. Um, yeah. Sure.
- Let me get my toothbrush. - Yeah. Oh.
Just...
Yes?
- Can I help you? - What do you mean?
Can I help you with something?
No.
What are you doing here?
I'm not really sure what you're asking me.
Oh.
Thanks.
I need your lovin'
Like the sunshine
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
- We're looking for 159. - What number's that?
I don't know where that is.
Jesus Christ, you'd think they'd light the number, or at least put a number on...
- Is that him? - I think so.
Yeah, that's him. Wait. That's him.
- Hey, Joel. - Frank.
Oh, shit.
Jesus. The only Valentine's Day cards I get are from my mother.
How pathetic is that, huh?
You're lucky you have Clementine, man.
She is way cool.
Hey, you got any big Valentine's Day plans with her?
No.
Well, it's only a day away. Better make some reservations or something.
Don't want to end up at Mickey D's. Right?
McRomance!
You want some fries with that shake?
I have to, uh, go to sleep now, Frank.
It's 8:30.
Patrick, stop it.
Ohh! Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Whew. Okay.
Showtime at the Apollo.
Shh, shh, shh. Hey.
Quiet.
Hey, Joel. What's up?
Oh. Hi, Frank.
I only get Valentine's Day cards from my mom.
How pathetic is that?
You're lucky you have Clementine, Joel.
Hey, you got, uh, any, uh, big Valentine's Day plans with her?
No.
It's only a day away.
Better make a reservation or something.
Don't wanna end up at Mickey D's.
Oh, no!
Yes! You know Valentine's Day is three goddamn days away! I want it resolved.
I'm willing to be the one to resolve it.
So I call her, and she's changed her number.
So I walked over to Antic Attic, you know, to get her something.
I thought, you know, I'd go over to work, give her an early valentine, and...
You won't believe it.
She's there with...
this guy, this really young guy.
And she looks at me like she doesn't even know who I am.
Excuse me?
Can I help you find something, sir?
Hey, Clem-ato.
Patrick! Baby boy.
- What you doing here, baby? - Just came to surprise you.
- Let me know if you need something, sir. - You look good.
Hi.
- How are you? - Pretty good. Pretty bored. Pretty tired.
Uh-huh.
- I so want what's in your suit. - Oh, good.
Why?
Why would she do that to me?
Hey, does anybody want a joint?
Oh, God, Rob, give it a rest.
Oh, God. She's punishing me.
- I know, honey. - For being honest.
- It's horrible. - I should just go to her house.
No! No, no, no. You don't wanna go there, man. You don't wanna go there.
Get off. It's too...
- Right. - Yeah.
I don't want to seem desperate.
Joel, why don't you just see this as a sign, make a clean break. Right?
Right?
All right, Joel, look, man, seriously.
- Rob! - Here's the deal.
Don't do that. Rob, what are you doing? No, no, no, no.
What's your fucking suggestion, Carrie? What's your brilliant, reasoned solution?
You're gonna make this about our shit now? This isn't about us.
I agree. It's not about us. It's about Joel, who's an adult. Okay?
Not Mama Carrie's kid.
- What are you... - That's your laundry!
That's great. That's good.
Okay.
- What is it? - I don't know. It's some place that does a thing.
Good morning. Lacuna.
No, I'm sorry. That offer expired after the new year.
Yeah, sure. We can fit you in...
How about on the fifth?
That's a Wednesday. All right, great. Could you spell that, please?
Okay, and we'll need a daytime phone number.
Great. Have a nice day. See you then.
May I help you?
- I'm Joel Barish. - Excuse me?
I'm Joel. Barish. I have an appointment with Dr...
Mierzwiak.
- Here. Could you please fill this out? - I just want to talk to him.
- You still need to fill the form out, sir. - Really?
- Thank you. - Great.
I don't have a pen.
There's a pen right there.
- Good morning. Lacuna. - Oh.
Oh, yeah, that offer. That's done now. That expired after the new year.
Mr. Barish?
How are we today?
Not too good, actually.
- Boo! - Oh, my God! Stan!
- Sorry. Sorry, I was just... - I'm working!
Sorry. Sorry.
- Here, Doctor. - Thank you.
You should not have seen this.
I apologize.
This is a hoax, right? I mean, this is Clem...
- I assure you, no. - No.
- Mm-mmm. - There's no such thing as this.
Look, our files are confidential, Mr. Barish,
so I can't show you evidence.
Suffice it to say that Miss, uh... Miss Kruczynski was not happy,
and she wanted to move on.
We provide that possibility.
"Miss Kruczynski was not happy and wanted to move on.
We provide that possibility."
What the hell is that?
Nicest guy she ever went out with.
Oww! Fuck!
God, Rob! Give it a rest!
It's okay. It's all right.
Carrie, I am making a birdhouse.
What can I say, Joel? You know Clementine. She's like that.
She's impulsive.
She decided to erase you almost as a lark.
A lark.
Why? Why? Why? Why did you do that?
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
I'm sorry, Doctor. He just barged right in here.
- Okay. I want it done. - I told him pre-Valentine's Day is our busy time.
- Oh, th-th-that's... that's okay, Mary. - But there are people waiting.
Mr. Barish, if you'd like to, uh... to come inside.
- And, Mary, if you could take care of Mrs. Woo. - Yes, of course. - Good-bye, Mrs. Woo.
Now, the, uh...
the first thing we need you to do, Mr. Barish,
is to go home...
and collect everything you own that has some association with Clementine.
Anything.
And we'll use these items to create a map of Clementine in your brain.
Okay?
So we'll need, uh, uh, photos, clothing, gifts,
books she may have bought you, CDs you may have bought together,
journal entries.
We want to empty your home...
We want to empty your life of Clementine.
And after the mapping is done, our technicians will do the erasing in your home tonight.
That way, when you awake in the morning,
you'll find yourself in your own bed as if nothing had happened...
a new life awaiting you.
Wake up, buddy!
No, I'm sorry, Mrs. Sobel.
You can't have the procedure done three times in one month.
Well, it's just not our policy... How are you today, Mr. Barish?
Hello. I'm right here.
I know it's an emergency and we'll do everything we can... We can fit you in on the first of March.
Maybe you could talk to the doctor, a-and he...
All right, so let's make an appointment. What day would you like to come in this week?
- Mr. Barish. - Um, he's really busy this afternoon.
Maybe tomorrow would be better. Around 12:15? Can you do that?
February is very busy for us because of Valentine's Day.
This is, uh, Stan Fink,
one of our most experienced and skilled technicians.
He'll be handling your case tonight.
Great to meet you, Mr. Barish.
My name is Joel Barish,
and I'm here to erase Clementine Kruczynski.
Very good. Now, tell me about, uh, Clementine.
Uh, I was...
living with this woman, Naomi,
uh, a couple years ago,
and my friends Rob and Carrie invited us to this party at the beach... I don't like parties.
Naomi couldn't go, but I went...
and I, uh, met Clementine.
I'm sorry.
Let's start with your most recent memories...
and work backwards from there, more or less.
There's an emotional core...
to each of our memories,
and when you eradicate that core it starts its degradation process.
By the time you wake up in the morning,
all the memories we've targeted will have withered and disappeared,
as in a dream upon waking.
Is there any risk of brain damage?
Well, uh, technically speaking,
the procedure is brain damage,
but it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking.
Nothing you'll miss.
Comfortable?
What we're doing here, Mr. Barish, is actually creating a map of your brain.
Okay, let's get started.
If we want to get this procedure underway tonight, we have some work to do.
I want you to react to these objects, Mr. Barish, if you will.
There's a good story behind this one...
Uh, actually, Mr. Barish, I'll get a much better emotional readout...
if you refrain from any sort of verbal description of the items.
Just try to focus on the memories.
Oh. Sorry. Okay.
Healthy activity up there again. Healthy readouts. Very good.
- Here's another object. - That's so...
Next item. Okay.
Potato head.
Next item. Okay.
Just focus on the memories. Patrick, do me a favor.
- Hey, Patrick, do me a favor, will ya? - Yeah.
Can you check the voltage regulator? What do we got there?
- Uh, voltage looks fine. - Really?
Well, I'm not wiping as clean as I like here. I'm...
Well, uh, technically the procedure is brain damage.
Check the, uh... Check the connections, please.
Oh, there you are. I...
Why am I... I don't understand what I'm looking at.
Why am I standing here and...
Oh, my God. Déjà vu.
Déjà vu. This is so...
All right, we should get started. If we're gonna get the procedure...
underway tonight, we have some work to do.
I'm in my head already, aren't I?
I suppose so. Uh, this is about right.
This is what it... This is what it would look like.
Very good.
We'll dispose of these mementos when we're done here.
That way you won't be confused later by their unexplainable presence in your home.
Ah, there we go.
- Patrick? - Yeah?
- Patrick, can you check... - Patrick?
- I'm getting some sort of readout of my own voice. - Patrick? Patrick?
- Why are there so many wires? - A lot of equipment.
- Does that help? - Are you sure you set that thing up properly?
- How's that? - How are you today, Mr. Barish?
- There we are, Mr. Barish. - That's better.
- I don't know if I like this. - Think I might try this, then.
We're almost done now.
Mmm. Journal. That would be invaluable.
"I met someone tonight. I don't know what to do.
Her name is Clementine, and she's amazing."
Whoa! Jesus!
- What? What? - Come on! Careful! Step back!
Just take it easy.
That's fine.
Let's not roach the guy.
All right, you got that one.
- This place is sort of a dump, don't you think? - It's an apartment, Patrick.
Patrick.
Well, not a dump, then, but sorta plain. Uninspired.
And there's sort of a stale smell.
Patrick, can we just please get through this?
- We got a very long night ahead of us. Come on. - Yeah. Yeah.
This is the last time I saw you.
It's 3:00.
I kinda sorta wrecked your car.
Were you driving drunk?
It's pathetic.
I was a little tipsy.
Don't call me pathetic.
Well, it is pathetic.
- It's fucking irresponsible. Could've killed somebody. - Oh, God.
- Maybe you did kill somebody. Should we turn on the news and see? - Oh, Christ!
- Should I check the grill to see if there's any children or small animals? - I didn't kill anybody!
It's just a fucking dent, Joel. You're like an old lady or something.
Well, what are you like?
- A wino? - A wino?
Jesus, are you from the '50s or something?
A wino?
Face it, Joely.
You're freaked out because I was out late without you,
and in your little wormy brain...
you're trying to figure out, did she fuck someone tonight?
No, see, Clem,
I assume you fucked someone tonight.
Isn't that how you get people to like you?
I'm sorry. Okay?
Clem, I didn't mean it. All right?
- Clem? - Your keys.
- I was just... I was just... - I won't need them anymore.
Angry or annoyed or something, I don't know.
Clem?
Got it.
Mary's coming over tonight.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Just thought you'd wanna know.
I like Mary. I like when she comes to visit. I just don't think she likes me.
She likes you okay.
So, maybe I should invite my girlfriend over. I have a girlfriend now.
- Do whatever you want. - Did I tell you I have...
Yeah.
Did I tell you I have a new girlfriend?
We gotta focus here, Patrick.
Yeah, the thing is,
our situation is... is a little weird.
My girlfriend situation.
I'm sure it is.
You gotta be...
Clem, let me drive you home.
Get out of my face, faggot!
Look at it out here! It's all falling apart!
I'm erasing you, and I'm happy!
You did it to me first!
I can't believe you did this to me. Goddamn it.
Clem! Can you hear me?
By morning you'll be gone!
The perfect ending to this piece-of-shit story!
Is there something wrong with a girl being attracted to me? Is that a problem?
No, I think it's... funny.
So, who do you think's better-looking, me or this guy?
Patrick, let's focus, buddy.
Remember that girl we did last week?
The one with the... potatoes?
That girl? That's this guy's girl.
- Right. - Yeah.
Was. We took care of that.
- Oh, God! - Well, uh...
I kinda fell in love with her that night.
What? You little fuck...
- What? - She was unconscious, man.
Well, she was beautiful, and...
I stole a pair of her panties as well.
- Jesus! - What?
It's not like...
- I mean, they were clean and all. - Don't tell me this stuff, man! I don't wanna hear this shit!
- They were clean! - What? D-Don't! Stop!
- Okay. Yeah! All right! - We got work to do.
Give me my papers.
There's, um...
There's more.
After we did her, I kind of...
went to where she works and asked her out.
You what?
- Jesus. - Jesus, Patrick!
Do you have... any idea...
how unethical...
It's not really that bad.
What? Get that look off your face. What's wrong?
Patrick, you stole a girl's panties!
There's someone here.
He stole your underwear.
I don't see anyone.
Joel?
Where are my boots?
Why are you showing me poisons? Can't you understand English?
"Potions", I said. Potions.
Love potion, please.
I'm fucking crawling out of my skin!
Should've left you at the flea market.
First thing to do is...
sift in a cup of powdered whale heart.
Wanna go?
I want to have a baby.
Let's talk about it later.
No! I want to have a baby.
I don't think we're ready.
You're not ready.
Clem, do you really think you could take care of a kid?
What?
I don't wanna talk about it here.
I can't hear you. I can never the fuck understand what you're saying.
- I don't wanna talk about this! - Fucking ventriloquist!
- We're fucking gonna talk about it! - I... don't... want... to...
You can't just say something like that and say you don't wanna talk about it!
- I'm sorry, Clem. - I'd make a fucking good mother!
- I love children, I'm creative and smart and I'd make a fucking great mother! - Oh, God... Mmm!
It's you, Joel. It's you who can't commit to anything!
- It's going! It's going! - You have no idea how lucky you are I'm interested in you!
Maybe I should end this right here, Joel!
- Leave you at the flea market with this stupid costume jewelry! - It's done. This is crap.
- Maybe you could find yourself an antique rocking chair to die in! - All the pain, confusion...
- Oh. Hi, Patrick. - Hi, Mary. How's it goin'?
- Hey, you. - Oh, it's freezing outside.
- Find us okay? - Yeah.
- Mmm. - Hot!
Poor guy.
Mmm? Oh.
Don't you have anything real to drink?
Uh, we haven't really checked yet.
- Patrick? - Uh, yeah.
Uh, let me do the honors.
Mary hates me.
Never really had much luck with the ladies.
Maybe if you stop stealing their panties.
Stan. Stan.
- There's more. - No!
- Yes. - No!
Hey, hey!
Oh, you didn't want any, did you, Patrick?
- Uh, no, that's okay. - Wait.
"Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders."
Oh.
- Oh! - Oh!
Mmm!
That's Nietzsche. Beyond Good and Evil.
I found it in my Bartlett's.
What's your Bartlett's?
It's a quote book, Patrick.
It's a book of quotations.
I think Howard will be in Bartlett's one day.
Definitely. Howard is pure Bartlett's.
God!
Can you wake him up?
You can't wake him up.
Mmm.
You don't tell me things, Joel.
I'm an open book.
I tell you everything.
Every damn embarrassing thing.
You don't trust me.
Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.
I don't do that.
I want to know you.
Hmm?
I don't constantly talk. Jesus!
People have to share things, Joel.
Mm-hmm.
That's what intimacy is.
I'm really pissed that you said that to me.
I'm sorry.
It just... really just isn't that interesting.
I wanna read some of those journals you're constantly scribbling in.
What do you write in there if you don't have any thoughts or passions or...
love?
November 19, 2003.
Dinner at Kang's again.
Are we like those poor couples...
you feel sorry for in restaurants?
Are we the dining dead?
I can't stand the idea of us being a couple people think that about.
I like that.
How's the chicken?
Good.
- More? - No. No. Thank you.
She's gonna be drunk and stupid now.
Hey, would you do me a favor...
and clean the goddamn hair off the soap when you're done in the shower?
- Yeah. Oh. Yeah. - It's really...
- Gross. - gross.
- It's just... - Repulsive.
It's repulsive.
Patrick, can we get through this?
Patrick.
Hey, Tangerine.
Oh, Patrick, it's you.
I'm so miserable right now.
- Why? What's wrong? - I don't know.
- Excuse me? - I'm so confused!
Can I help you find something, sir?
Confused? What are you confused about? Everything's fine.
Baby, come here.
Scared of what?
- Do you love me? - Of course I do.
Where's the self-help section?
Do you think I'm ugly?
No! You're beautiful!
- Maybe I should come over. - No, no.
I don't know. I-I'm a mess, Patrick.
Well, just let me come over. I'll cheer you up.
Okay.
Stan, can I leave for a while? My girlfriend's really upset.
We're right in the middle of erasing this poor man's...
Let him go, Stan!
Let him go. I'll help.
- See? - How hard can it be?
- She hates me. She wants me to go. - Go.
All right. I'll be right over, Tangerine.
You like?
Oh, man!
I matched my sweatshirt exactly.
- I like it. - You do?
- You look like a tangerine. - Ohh!
- "Clemen-teen" the tangerine. - Mmm! Juicy!
- And seedless. - I like that.
I like tangerines!
Can you see me doing ducks?
- Tangerine. - Joel. Ducks. Quack-quack.
- How does he know to call you that? - How did who know?
- Oh, my God. Clem? - This is pretty cool.
That's what they called themselves.
The Clash... the only band that mattered.
They called themselves that for a reason.
- It's amazing, isn't it? - Like social justice... Yeah, it's totally incredible.
What Howard gives to the world.
Yeah.
To let people begin again.
It's beautiful.
You look at a baby, and it's so pure and so free and so clean.
And adults are, like, this mess of sadness...
and... phobias.
Howard just makes it all go away.
Oh, my God.
- Baby, what's going on? - I don't know. I don't know!
I'm lost, I'm scared,
I feel like I'm disappearing.
- Disappearing? - My skin's coming off! I'm getting old!
- Nothing makes any sense to me! - You're not getting old.
- Nothing makes any sense. - Ohh, Tangerine.
Nothing makes any sense.
- Nothing makes any sense, Patrick. - It's okay. It's okay.
Hey, let's go out dancing. Yeah? You wanna go out to Montauk with me?
- Montauk? - Yeah.
- No! Come up to Boston with me. - Sure. Yeah. We can go next weekend.
No, no. Now. Now.
Yeah. I have to go now.
I have to see the frozen Charles now.
Hi, it's Joel.
Um, leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you.
Pick up! Pick up, man!
W-W-W-W-Whoa. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Hello? Yeah, what's up?
I got into a little situation with the old lady.
Can you handle things tonight alone? I'm really sorry, man.
Don't worry about it. I got it under control, man.
- He's pretty much on autopilot right now anyway. - Thanks, Stan. I owe you big-time.
Dude, I gotta go. I gotta go.
Charles.
Come on, Charles.
"Look! You and me on the Charles River. I could die right now, Clem.
I'm just happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want..."
- I'm so excited. Yea. - I'm excited too!
- Cool. - Oh, uh, I, uh...
I got you this...
- What? - thing, um...
Happy early Valentine's Day.
Oh!
Wow. What is it?
Uh, I don't know. Open it up.
Oh.
It... It's gorgeous!
- You like it? - Yeah. It's just my taste. Really.
I've never gone out with a guy who bought me a piece of jewelry I liked.
Thank you.
- Let's go. - Okay.
- Joely? - Yeah, Tangerine?
Am I ugly?
When I was a kid, I thought I was.
Can't believe I'm crying already.
Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid.
Like you don't matter.
So, I'm eight...
and I have these toys,
these dolls.
My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine.
And I keep yelling at her:
"You can't be ugly! Be pretty!"
It's weird.
Like if I can transform her,
I would magically change too.
You're pretty.
Joely, don't ever leave me.
Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty.
Mierzwiak, please let me keep this memory.
Just this one.
I don't wanna hold your hand. Come on.
- Whoo! - Whoa!
Stop it!
I could die right now, Clem.
I'm just...
happy.
I've never felt that before.
Mmm.
I'm just exactly...
where I wanna be.
Clem?
I wanna call it off.
I'll give you a sign.
I wanna call it off!
Can you hear me? I don't want this anymore!
I wanna call it off!
Is anybody there?
- Clementine? - Joel?
- Clement... - Joely?
- Clem! - Joel?
Clem!
- What? - We gotta go. We gotta go.
- What? Where? - I have an idea of how to stop this.
Stop what?
- Joely. - Come on, Clem.
- Smell my armpit! Smell my armpit! - No!
- Don't tickle me! Don't make me smell you. - Smell my pits!
- No. - Good.
Concentrate, Clem.
We gotta get back to the office.
There was a tape recorder. No, not the picture.
Not the picture.
Where is it? Back here. Come on!
Oh, look at me. Hey, I look good there.
Look, our files are confidential, Mr. Barish,
so I can't show you evidence.
Suffice it to say that Miss, uh... Miss Kruczynski...
was not happy and she wanted to move on.
- Good. Now, tell me about Clementine. - Just tell me everything you remember.
- That's what he said. Then... - What did we see that day?
- No, wait. - Oh, look! Hey!
- Shit! - We're going to see my grandma.
- Joel, why... - No, I don't want to... - Joel, please! - We're not going on a train.
- Don't make me run anymore. - Come on!
Mierzwiak!
- Do we always have to run? - Mierzwiak!
Please.
So, why don't we begin by you telling me...
everything you can remember.
Mierzwiak! Wake me up!
Oh, I-I'm sorry, Mr. Barish.
I thought you understood what was going on here.
I don't know. You're erasing her from me.
You're erasing me from her...
I don't know.
You've got this thing. I'm in my bed. I know it.
I'm in my brain.
I'm part of your imagination too, Joel.
How can I help you from there?
Uh, I'm inside your head too. I'm you.
Sorry.
Look. Who's that?
Oh, he-he works for us.
That's, uh, Pa-a-a-a-atrick,
baby boy.
He's stealing my identity.
He stole my stuff.
He's, uh, seducing my girlfriend with my words and my things.
He stole her underwear. Oh, Jesus Christ!
He stole her underwear.
I could die right now, Clem.
I'm just happy.
I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.
I want to go home.
Hey. What?
Clem!
Wait. Clem!
Clem?
They're erasing you.
I'm here!
Clem, focus. I hired them, okay?
I'm so stupid.
Sweetie, calm down. Enjoy the scenery.
I need it to stop before I wake up and I don't know you anymore.
Okay, well, you know, just tell them to cancel it then.
What the hell are you talking about? I can't just cancel it. I'm asleep.
Wake yourself up!
Okay. You want me to wake up? Okay. Great. All right.
- Okay, here we go. This make you happy if I try? - Yeah.
I'll try really hard. Here we go. That was a great idea.
Yeah. Okay.
Boy, that's working like gangbusters.
- Don't! That tickles me! - Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my God. What is that? Jesus Christ! What the...
It's a birthmark!
It did work, for a second,
- but I couldn't... I couldn't move. - See?
Oh, well, isn't that just another one of Joel's self-fulfilling prophecies?
It's more important to prove me wrong than to actually...
Look, I don't want to discuss this right now, okay?
Fine.
Then what? I'm listening.
I don't know. You erased me.
That's why I'm here. That's why I'm doing this in the first place.
- I'm sorry. - You... You!
You know me. I'm impulsive.
That's what I love about you.
Joel?
- Mm-hmm? - I have another idea for this problem.
This is a memory of me,
the way you wanted to have sex on the couch after you looked down at my crotch.
- What? - Joel, the eraser guys are coming here,
so what if you take me somewhere else,
somewhere where I don't belong,
and we hide there till morning?
Oh, man. I can't remember anything without you.
Tsk, that's very sweet, but try, okay?
Okay.
Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream
It's working!
I'm a genius!
Joel?
Where'd you go?
I'm supposed to come too!
Listen, I'm just gonna go get a salad bowl. Can you stir the soup and keep an eye on Joel?
Sure. He just likes to be near me.
- Absolutely! - Clem?
It worked.
My God, look at this! Wow!
It worked! Look! Look at this dress, man!
Oh, my God! Look at it! I wish I could take it with me.
Who am I?
- Mrs. Hamlyn. - Right. Mrs. Hamlyn.
I must be about four. Oh, my gosh.
Found the salad bowl, so I'm serving salad and string beans.
Is he okay under there? Peanut, are you all right?
God, honestly, I feel like I could clean up all day.
- Listen, would you hate me if I asked you to clean some string beans? - No, not at all.
Oh, my God. I love this kitchen.
- Thank you so much. - She's not looking at me.
She's busy. She's not looking at me.
No one ever looks at me. I want my mommy.
Oh, baby Joel.
Hey, Joely! Joely!
- Is every little peanut under there okay? - Mm-hmm! He's fine.
Do you have something to drink?
Would you drink a cocktail at this hour? I mean, I know it's not 5:00.
- I would die for a vodka. - Oh, hang on. Let me check if I have that.
Okay! I'm just gonna wait right here. Joel! Hey, no, sweetie.
Uh, Joely.
- Your mother wants me to mind you. Get back under the table. - Ice cream.
- Ice cream. - No, not until after, you know, you've had your dinner.
Come on, Joel!
Joel, grow up!
Don't leave me, Clem. Oh, my God, Clem.
- This is sort of warped. - I'm scared.
- I want my mommy! - Don't cry, baby Joel.
Baby Joel, it's okay. Joel. Joely. Joel!
Stop it! Look, I think it's working. Look, we're hidden, Joel. Look!
Hey, honey, look.
Wait there.
My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.
Yuck.
It stopped.
- What? - It stopped erasing.
Oh, shit.
This is terrible.
He's off the map. He's off the map.
- Where? - I don't know where! What do you mean? I don't know where!
This is bad. This is very, very bad news. Where are my glasses?
Okay. Crap.
Okay. What do we do? What do I do?
- What shall we do? - I don't know what to do.
- What shall we do? - Crap. Crap. I don't know!
- I just said that I don't know what to do. - I'm sorry. What do we do?
I don't know. Now, look, you're freaking me out. Mellow out.
Well, you have to do something. He could wake up all half-baked.
Quiet. You're freaking me out. Shh. Shh.
All gooey and... and half-baked. Hmm, that sounds so good.
- Oh, shit! - I'm hungry.
- Oh, shit. - Oh! Oh!
What? Oh! What, what? What?
- We should call Howard. - No way. No, sir, man.
This is my... I can handle this.
- I can't call Howard. - He's an unbaked cookie.
He's... There's no time to fuck around.
I got this under control. What are you talking about?
- Stop fucking around! - Okay, I'll call Howard.
- Hello. - Hello, Howard? Hey, it's Stan.
Um, I'm working on this guy down here, and we seem to have lost him for a moment,
and, uh, I can't... I can't bring him back up.
Okay, uh, tell me what happened before he disappeared.
Well, I wasn't sure, really, 'cause I was away from the monitor for a minute...
and I had it on autopilot because I had to, uh...
I had to pee.
- Where's Patrick? - Patrick? Patrick had to go home sick.
Ah, geez.
- Okay, what's the address? - I know. I'm so sorry.
- That's okay. Come on. - I'm at 159 South Village.
- Yeah. - Apartment 1E. Rockville Center.
- Mary? - Yeah? - He's coming right now.
I'm staying.
- Get your stuff, Mary. - I'm staying.
- I think you should go. - Hell, no.
Mary... Shit.
- I am so stoned. - Please, Mary.
- You have to go. - Stop being stoned, Mary.
I don't want him to see me stoned.
- Mary, you have no idea how much trouble we're gonna get into if Howard comes... - I look like shit!
Joely, stop it! Joel! Look!
Hey, Joel!
- Joel! - I want her to pick me up.
- It's weird how strong that desire is. - Joel, look at me! Look.
You'll remember me in the morning,
and you'll come to me, and you'll tell me about us, and we'll start over.
Pat? I just... Pat?
I thought we could have a little cocktail.
That Patrick guy... he's copying me.
What Patrick guy?
- That guy! - What?
He's here in my apartment.
He's one of those eraser guys.
He fell for you when they were doing you, and now he's introduced himself like he doesn't even know you,
and you guys are dating.
Really? Is he cute?
Clem, there's nothing wrong with you.
You're the most wonderful person I've ever met.
You... You're kind,
beautiful...
and smart and funny...
and... nice.
What?
Okay. All right.
Okay. Oh!
- Move, move, move! - Careful, careful. - Come on. Let's go.
Fine.
Oh, my God. I'm still stoned.
Those eyedrops you gave me didn't do shit.
Be cool. Cool.
- Hello, Mary. What are you doing here? - Oh, hi, Howard.
She was just here to help out.
I wanted to understand as much as I could about the procedure as possible.
I think it's important for my job to understand the inner workings...
of the work that we do.
Well, not that I do, but the work that is done...
by people... where I also work, the work of my colleagues.
All right, well, let's see if we can, uh,
get to the bottom of this, shall we?
Uh, yeah. Um...
- Well, that's odd. - I already tried that.
- Did you try going through the C-gate? - Yeah, of course.
I mean... yes.
Yeah.
All right.
- You want to get linked up? - Yeah.
All right.
I already... I ran the utility programs,
and I had nothing there,
so I checked all the memories against the printed logs.
- Here, Howard. - Okay.
- I got you a chair. - Oh, thank you. - There you go.
You're welcome.
All right, I'm gonna... I'm gonna go through the entire memory,
see if something comes up.
I love being bathed in the sink.
Such a feeling of security.
- I've never seen you happier, baby Joel. - Hmm!
There it is.
I don't understand why it's off the map like that.
What the heck was he doing there?
His eyes are open.
- Has this happened before with him? - No.
Oh, this is... this is not good. No.
I'm gonna have to...
I'm gonna have to give him this.
Can't you see I love you, Antoine?
Okay, we're back in.
Wow. That was beautiful to watch, Howard.
Like a surgeon or a concert pianist or something.
Thank you, Mary.
Um, Howard, you should get some sleep. I-I think I'll be fine now.
Why can't you see I love you, Antoine?
Hmm. Lucky me.
Lay one on me.
Don't call me Antoine.
- My name is Wally. - Yes, I know,
but how can a woman love a man with a name like Wally?
Oh! Oh! What was that?
- Hey. - My God, there's people coming out of your butt.
There is?
- Got it. - Tangerine!
- What, Joel... What are you doing? - We gotta go.
Go on. Please, please, go. Please go!
You can run, but you can't hide.
Clem, come on!
There I am.
That truck.
Doc? Please.
All right, let's begin by you telling me...
everything you remember...
That's strange. He's in a memory that we've already erased.
Oh, well, at least we know where he is. He's back on track, right?
Come on, Clem.
He seems to have developed some sort of resistance to the procedure.
- I don't want to run anymore. - Shit.
- Come on, come on. - Hide me somewhere deeper, somewhere really buried.
- Where? - Hide me in your humiliation.
- Humiliation. - Come on, you big baby!
I'm sorry, okay?
Let me drive you home.
No!
- Bye, Howard. - No, wait. Howard.
He's disappeared again.
- Oh, dear. - I'm so sorry, Howard.
Humiliation.
- Hu-mi-lia... - Joel.
I don't like it either.
I'm just trying to find horrible secret places to...
Joel, honey, I have a surprise... I just... Oh, um...
Uh, you know what, honey? I'm just gonna ask you in the morning.
Good night, sweetheart.
No.
- I'm sorry, Joel. Joely. - Shut up.
Look! Joel!
- Joel, look! - What?
Look where we are!
Whoo!
Clem, this isn't good.
Then hide me somewhere... somewhere really buried.
- Hit it! Hit it! - I can't! I gotta go home.
I'll do it later!
Come on, you big sissy!
Ooh!
Ooh, he has a girlfriend!
- Wait. What am I doing? - And he loves her! - You know something, Freddy?
You don't scare me anymore. Ow! Ow!
Joel!
- Joely, get up. Come on, it's not worth it. - Hit him! Hit him!
They're not worth it, Joel! Tra-la-la-la-la! He's not listening!
- Come on, Joel. - Stupid!
- I'm so ashamed. - It's okay.
- You were a little kid. - Yeah?
- Come on. - That's where I live... lived.
I wish I knew you when I was a kid.
Do you like my pink hat? Here, look, feel better. You can really kill me this time.
- It's my turn. Go. One, two, three. - I can? You're really gonna die though.
- Okay. - One, two, three.
You're dead.
Oh, my mom. It's... It's okay. We're playing.
- Hi, Joel's mom. He's killing me. - It's not real.
Okay, are you dead yet?
You're dead!
Uh, I think I got the hang of this.
I still don't understand it, but I'm finding him quickly enough.
Clem!
Jo... Joely?
Are you okay, Joel?
Joel? Joel?
Oh, my God. That was terrible.
- Okay, okay. - That was like three seconds.
- All right. Let me do it one more time. - One more, then I get to go.
Okay.
- Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Whoo!
- Look at this. - This is so cool!
Cool. Look out! Look out!
Ah!
- Shit! - It's fluff.
Our house!
- Come on. Whoo-hoo! - Come on.
Come on. We gotta go!
Whoo!
Come on!
We gotta go. Clem?
We gotta go.
Aah! Come on!
- No! - This is a really bad time for this!
Get off me! Oh, God!
- I don't even know where we're going. - It's gonna be fun. Come on.
- It's the best place. No, this way. - No, this way.
No, no, no. This way, come on. You're no help at all.
What's wrong with you?
Let go of me, Joel!
I like watching you work, Howard.
I guess, uh...
I guess I'll go out for... for some air,
if nobody minds.
It looks like you have everything under control here.
Yeah, that's, uh...
that's fine.
Do you like quotes, Howard?
What do you mean?
Oh, you know, like famous quotes?
I find reading them inspirational,
and in my reading, I've come across some I thought you might like too.
Oh, well, I... I'd love to hear some.
There's one that goes,
"Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders."
- That's Nietzsche, right? - Yeah.
- And here I thought I could tell you something you didn't know. - Oh, no.
It's... It's a good quote. I'm happy we both know it.
Yeah. Oh, and there's this other one I like.
It's by Pope Alexander and it goes...
- Alexander Pope? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, shit.
It's just that I told myself not to say "Pope Alexander" and sound like a dope,
and then I go ahead and say it.
- It's no big deal. - You're such a sweetheart.
The quote goes, "How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot?
"The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
"Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned."
I want to be a great big, huge elephant...
with a huge trunk like that.
Clem? Clementine?
I haven't heard that one. It's lovely.
I just thought it would be appropriate, maybe.
I really admire the work you do, Howard.
- I don't mean to be so familiar. - Oh, it's fine. It's fine.
I-I-I-I-I... I'm happy to hear...
I'm sorry.
I've loved you for a very long time.
- I shouldn't have said that. - Oh, Mary, no.
It's... You're a wonderful girl.
But I... You know, I have a wife and kids.
You know I have a wife and kids.
Oh, Mary.
Oh, Mary, we can't do this.
Oh, whoa.
Well, good morning, Mrs. Mierzwiak.
- What? - Oh, my God!
Who is it?
Uh...
Thank you, Stan. Thanks a lot.
Hollis. Hollis!
Hollis!
Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hollis.
- I knew it, Howard. - Hollis, it didn't start out to be like this.
I came here to work. Hollis, this is a one-time mistake!
- I'm a stupid girl with a stupid crush! - Yeah.
I swear I basically forced him into it!
Don't be a monster, Howard. Tell the girl.
Tell me what?
Oh, you poor kid.
You can have him.
You did.
What?
Oh, uh,
we have a history.
I'm sorry. Y-You wanted the procedure.
You...
You wanted it done...
so you could get past, uh...
You could... Yeah.
Um, I have to, uh, finish the work in there.
It's almost morning.
We'll talk later.
Okay?
Hey.
Let me give you a lift home.
Fuck this thing. Damn it.
- Hi. - Hi.
Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again.
I guess I thought you were... humiliated.
You did run away, after all.
I just needed to see ya.
Yeah?
I'd like to, um,
take you out or something.
You're married.
Not yet. Not married.
No, I'm not married, no.
Look, man, I'm telling you right off the bat I'm high maintenance,
so, I'm not gonna tiptoe around your marriage...
or whatever it is you've got going there.
If you wanna be with me, you're with me.
Okay.
Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them,
or I'm gonna make them alive.
But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind.
- Don't assign me yours. - I remember that speech really well.
- I had you pegged, didn't I? - You had the whole human race pegged.
Hmm. Probably.
I still thought you were gonna save my life,
even after that.
Mmm. I know.
It would be different...
if we could just give it another go around.
Remember me.
Try your best.
Maybe we can.
Okay, so just tell me what you remember,
and, uh, then we'll take it from there.
Okay.
I liked you immediately.
You didn't come on to me at all.
I liked that.
I was so tongue-tied around you at first.
I wanted you to think I was smart.
I couldn't wait to come to work.
I had these fantasies of us being married...
and having kids and... just...
Oh, Howie, I can't do this.
We agreed it's for the best, Mary.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, God.
- I'll take the bottom and you... - Uh-uh-uh! No, no, no. Here.
- I can take that. - So you want me to carry that?
- Help me with that. Can you get the cooler? - Honey, the cooler is...
- That's light, huh? - You can get it. - Oh, I can get that.
No, no, no, no!
- Don't take anything. - I can take the plane.
Put the thing up. Put the gate back up.
This is the day we met.
You were down by the surf. I could just make you out in the distance.
I remember being drawn to you even then.
I thought, "Wow, how odd. I'm drawn to someone's back."
You were in that orange sweatshirt that I would come to know so well...
and even hate, eventually.
At the time I thought, "How cool! An orange sweatshirt."
Hi there.
Hi.
I saw you sitting over here...
by yourself,
and I thought, "Thank God.
Someone normal who doesn't know how to interact at these things either."
Yeah.
I don't ever know what to say.
I'm Clementine.
Can I borrow a piece of your chicken?
And then you just took it...
without waiting for an answer.
It was so intimate,
like we were already lovers.
I'm Joel.
Hi, Joel.
So, no jokes about my name.
You mean like...
Oh, my darlin', oh, my darlin' Oh, my darlin' Clementine
Huckleberry Hound, that sort of thing?
Yeah. Like that.
Oh, no jokes. No jokes.
One of my favorite things when I was a kid was my Huckleberry Hound doll.
Oh.
I think your name is magical.
This is it, Joel.
It's gonna be gone soon.
I know.
What do we do?
Enjoy it.
- You married? - No.
Let's move into this neighborhood!
I do sort of live with someone though.
- Male or female? - What?
Female. Female.
At least I'm not barking up the wrong tree.
- You know these people? - No, of course not. Come on.
They might have a dog.
There's no dog.
What are you doing?
- It's freezing out. - I can't believe this.
Hoo-hoo!
- Clementine! - There we go. Whoo-hoo!
Come on, man. The water's fine.
Nobody's coming here tonight. Believe me.
It's dark.
So, uh, what's your girlfriend's name?
Naomi, but we're not really... I mean...
- We're... - Whatever.
So, this is great. Now I can look for, um, candles, matches...
and the liquor cabinet.
Oh, my God.
I think we should go.
There's no phone line. What?
- I think we should go. - Why?
It's our house... just for tonight.
We are "David and Ruth Laskin".
- Which one do you want to be? - Uh...
I prefer to be Ruth, but I can be flexible.
What are you do...
- Alcohol! - Oh, boy.
So, are you okay with wine?
- I don't know. - Well, you choose the wine.
I'm gonna go find the bedroom and slip into something more... Ruth.
- I'm Ruth-less at the moment. - I really should go.
I've gotta catch my ride.
So go.
I did.
I thought maybe you were a nut,
but you were exciting.
I wish you'd stayed.
I wish I'd stayed too. Now I wish I'd stayed.
I wish I'd done a lot of things.
Oh, God, I wish I had...
I wish I'd stayed. I do.
- Well, I came back downstairs, and you were gone. - I walked out. I walked out the door.
- Why? - I don't know. I felt like a scared little kid.
I was like... It was above my head. I don't know.
You were scared?
Yeah.
Thought you knew that about me.
I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation, I think.
- Was it something I said? - Yeah.
You said, "So go"...
with such disdain, you know?
- Oh, I'm sorry. - It's okay.
Joely?
What if you stayed this time?
I walked out the door.
There's no memory left.
Come back and make up a good-bye, at least.
Let's pretend we had one.
Bye, Joel.
I love you.
Meet me in Montauk.
I didn't crash the plane. The plane crashed. I didn't crash the plane.
You were operating the plane with the remote control, and then it crashed.
It was fucking windy. Come on, man.
You're stoned, and you're driving.
Yeah, the pot balances it out. The pot brings you back up.
That's why I smoke it. If I'm going to be drinking, then I'll smoke it.
It does. That's a medical fact.
It was proven on the Science Network.
- Honey, just watch the road. - I can't see shit.
I saw you talking to somebody pretty.
- She was nice. - Yeah, man. Who was that?
She was, um, just a girl.
Okay.
So I gotta... I gotta drop the van off.
Thanks, Stan. Thanks.
We'll talk.
Hey!
Hey.
- You got a lot of your stuff there, I see. - Yeah, that's right. My stuff.
I take it you're not coming back. I wouldn't come back if I was you either.
- Do you swear you didn't know? - I-I swear.
- So you didn't do the erasing? - Of course not. God, no.
And you never even suspected we were together?
Once, maybe.
I was coming back from a job, and you were at his car.
I saw you two talking.
So I waved to you, and you giggled, you know.
How'd I look?
You looked happy.
Happy with a secret.
And after that?
I never saw you two together again like that, so I just...
I don't know. I just figured I was imagining things.
Montauk train now boarding on track B. All aboard.
I really like you, Mary Svevo.
You know that?
Thanks.
Let me get my toothbrush.
Yeah. Just...
Where are you, Clem? I'm worried.
I feel like you're mad at me, and I don't know what I did.
What did I do?
I love you so much.
I'll do anything to make you happy.
Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it.
Listen, I'm gonna stop by this morning just to make sure you're okay.
Oh. Whew.
Vámonos, señor.
I-I had a really nice time last night.
Nice?
I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life...
last night.
That's better.
- This is weird. - To all patients of Dr. Howard Mierzwiak.
- My name is Mary Svevo. - "We've met, but you don't remember me.
I worked for a company you hired to have part of your memory erased."
- I have since decided that this is a horrible... - Some kind of teaser ad or something.
In order to correct this, I'm sending everyone's file back to them.
My name is Clementine Kruczynski.
I'm here to erase Joel Barish.
- What is this? - I don't know.
He's boring. Is that enough reason to erase someone?
I've been thinking lately how I was before and how I am now,
and it's like he changed me.
I feel like I'm always pissy now. I don't like myself when I'm with him. I don't like myself anymore.
I can't stand to even look at him. That pathetic, wimpy, apologetic smile.
- That sort of wounded puppy shit he does, you know? - What are you doing?
- I'm not doing anything. - The bloom is certainly fucking off the rose at this point.
- Are you screwing with me? - No!
- You are screwing with me. - Joel, I'm not!
- You clearly are. - Look, let's just take a minute and...
Patrick, get the fuck away.
- Oh, sweetheart... - Get the fuck away from me!
- Can we talk about it? - No! Get the fuck away!
Joel Barish.
- Hey, Clementine. - Hey.
Nice to see you. Yeah.
Yeah.
Really very educated.
I mean, she's smart, I think, but not educated.
I couldn't really talk to her about books, you know?
She's more of a magazine-reading girl.
Her vocabulary leaves something to be desired.
Sometimes... I was embarrassed in public...
- Hi. - because she would pronounce...
- library "libary". - Hi.
Libary. Libary.
Look what I found.
I think if there's a truly seductive quality about Clementine,
it's that her personality promises to take you out of the mundane.
You made me look skinny.
Amazing, burning meteorite...
will carry you to another world where things are exciting.
But what you quickly learn is that...
it's really an elaborate ruse.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
- It's okay. - So flashy in a kind of obvious way.
- But still, it seduces you. - Joel, I really like you.
I hate that I said mean things about you.
- Let me turn this off, okay? - Hey, it's... it's only fair.
Where's the real Clementine?
I mean, the whole thing with the hair... it's all bullshit.
- I really like your hair. - Thank you.
- I do. - The world's a goddamn mess.
- Is it some kind of a revolt? Change your hair color. - You want a drink or something?
Do you have any whiskey?
No, I don't think her sex is... motivated.
I saw it clearly the last night we were together.
It wasn't sex. It was just sad.
Hey. Sorry. I thought there was more.
The only way Clem thinks she can get people to like her...
is to fuck 'em...
or at least dangle the possibility of getting fucked in front of 'em.
And she's so desperate and insecure...
that she'll, sooner or later, go around fucking everybody.
- I don't do that. - I wouldn't think that about you.
- Because I don't. - I know.
- Because it really hurts me that you said that because I don't do that. - I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry about all this. I'm gonna... go.
I'm a little confused. I don't really think I can be here.
Um... bye.
- Bye. - I thought I knew her so well.
- It was nice meeting you and all. - But I don't know her at all.
What a loss to spend that much time with someone,
only to find out that she's a stranger.
Wait.
- What? - I don't know.
- Just wait. Just wait. - What do you want, Joel?
I don't know. I want you to wait for... just a... while.
- Okay. - Really?
I'm not a concept, Joel. I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind.
- I'm not perfect. - I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
- Right now I can't. - But you will. But you will.
You know, you will think of things, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped...
because that's what happens with me.
Okay.
- Okay. - Okay.
Change your heart
Look around you
Change your heart
It will astound you
Now, I need your lovin'
Like the sunshine
And everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime