PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD...
FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER! GODDAMN YOU!
HE WAS LYING AND CHEATING.
PAPI, COME ON, GET ME OUT OF HERE.
DID WE...
I COULD NEVER TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A LADY
IN A COMPROMISED SITUATION.
SHAY? WHAT'S WRONG?
DAD!
I'D LIKE TO WORK WITH YOU, MAX.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY.
THIS IS GRACE, THE NEW INTERN.
HEY, GRACE, IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
I LIKE YOUR T-SHIRT.
"KILL ONE AND IT'S MURDER,
KILL THOUSANDS AND IT'S FOREIGN POLICY."
OH, FUCK...
DO YOU THINK I WANT TO KILL PEOPLE?
THEN WHY ARE YOU THERE?
THE QUESTION IS WHY THE FUCK AM I HERE?
BECAUSE WE WANT TO FUCK EACH OTHER!
I GET JEALOUS. I DO. I GET JEALOUS.
I'M JUST NOT AS EVOLVED AS YOU.
WHAT?
I HEAR YOU'RE BUYING THE RIGHTS TO JENNY'S NEW YORKER PIECE.
IT'S THE HOTTEST PROPERTY IN TOWN.
I HAVE TO KISS HER AS,
AND ALL I REALLY WANT TO DO
IS WRING HER NECK.
MY AGENTS ARE HERE. TINA...
YOU SHOULD GO TALK TO THEM IF YOU WANT TO DO THIS.
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
[DRUM ROLL]
[**]
LOVELY, LISSOME LADIES,
LECHEROUS, LEERING LOTHARIOS,
LOVE IS IN THE AIR.
PERHAPS NOT A LOVE
WITH WHICH YOU ARE FAMILIAR,
BUT THIS IS A LOVE
THAT WILL OPEN YOUR MINDS,
TOUCH YOUR HEARTS,
ALTER YOUR WORLDS.
* L'AMOUR, MES CHERS ET MES CHERIES *
* L'AMOUR, L'AMOUR, L'AMOUR...
LES JEUNES FILLES...
LEZ GIRLS.
[**]
* GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES *
* CHICKS DRIVING FAST INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES *
* WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE, LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE *
* THIS IS THE WAY IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* TALKING, LAUGHING LOVING, BREATHING *
* FIGHTING, FUCKING CRYING, DRINKING *
* WRITING, WINNING LOSING, CHEATING *
* KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING
* THIS IS THE WAY...
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE
* AND LOVE
HE HAS THREE BIG HOLLYWOOD HITS.
BLUE CRUSH, INTO THE BLUE...
HE'S FANTASTIC--
ISN'T INTO THE BLUE, LIKE,
ABOUT SOMEBODY SHOWING THEIR ASS
ON A BEACH OR SOMETHING?
WHAT? NO.
DID YOU SEE CRAZY/BEAUTIFUL?
NO.
KIRSTEN DUNST, SHE'S PHENOMENAL IN IT.
SO?
THAT'S A FANTASTIC MOVIE.
WELL, DOES THAT MAKE HIM QUALIFIED
TO DIRECT MY MOVIE?
HE'S EXTREMELY QUALIFIED.
WE'D BE LUCKY TO HAVE HIM--
OKAY, I DON'T WANT TO FEEL SHUSHED
IN THIS PROCESS.
I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT MY VOICE IS HEARD.
OKAY, COME ON.
HEY...
HI.
I MEAN, I JUST LOVE EXPLORING WORLDS,
AND CULTURES, AND SUBCULTURES,
AND I THINK YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB
OF BRINGING THIS WORLD TO LIFE.
IT JUST FELT REALLY VIVID AND REAL,
AND, YOU KNOW, JUST...
WELL, I APPRECIATE IT.
I'M TOLD I'M A VISUAL WRITER.
YOU'RE VERY VISUAL.
AND YOUR FILMS ARE SO VISUAL.
THE WRITING'S VERY VISUAL,
AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING,
WOULD IT BE INTERESTING AT ALL IF WE OPENED THE FILM
WITH, UM...
WITH CLOSE-UPS,
WITH THIS SORT OF SERIES OF MACRO SHOTS.
REALLY TIGHT SHOTS.
EXTREME...
WE DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS WE'RE SEEING AT FIRST,
AND THEN WE REALIZE
THAT IT'S... IT'S, UM...
IT'S JESSIE? YEAH.
AND KARINA... KARINA...
AND THEY'RE FUCKING, RIGHT,
BUT WE'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.
WE DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT... PIECES.
NOT EVENLIKE, BODIES... BODIES.
LITERALLY, SO CLOSE, JUST SKIN.
IT'S TACTILE. WE'RE FEELING IT.
THAT'S SO VISUAL.
AND THEN WE WOULD FLASH BACK
TO WHEN JESSIE FIRST ARRIVES IN L.A.,
SO WE WOULD BE NON-LINEAR.
I JUST THINK THE WHOLE PIECE SHOULD BE...
NO THANKS,
BUT THIS...
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW
THAT JESSIE AND KARINA ARE TOGETHER,
BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO RUIN
THE SUSPENSE OF THE FILM.
SOME OF IT WOULD BE LINEAR.
I MEAN, SOME OF THE STORYTELLING.
SOME, BUT I DON'T...
I'M JUST THINKING VISUALLY RIGHT NOW,
BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE MY HEAD IS AT.
AGAIN, JUST THINKING OUT LOUD.
WOULD IT BE INTERESTING IF THEY WERE REALLY HAVING SEX?
WHAT? WHAT?
[LAUGHS AWKWARDLY]
IN REAL LIFE?
YOU'D BE SURPRISED
HOW MANY ACTORS WOULD LOVE THE OPPORTUNITY
TO REALLY... TO REALLY GO FOR IT.
YOU KNOW, TO NOT FAKE IT.
TO JUST BE RAW AND REAL, AND--
ISN'T THAT PORNOGRAPHY?
WHY?
PORNOGRAPHY IS WHEN THERE'S NO STORY.
THIS HAS A GREAT STORY.
I JUST AM TRYING TO FIND A WAY
TO MAKE IT DIFFERENT,
TO MAKE IT STAND OUT.
I THINK THE MPAA WOULD ALLOW US
TO GET AWAY WITH IT
BECAUSE THERE'S NO PENETRATION--
WELL, THERE'S PENETRATION, BUT THERE'S NO...
YOU KNOW, THERE'S NO CONSUMMATION.
I MEAN, NO...
UM, INSEMINATION, NO FORNICATION.
EW! WHAT?
* I JUST DROPPED YOU OFF ON YOUR BLOCK *
* YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK
* YOU DON'T WANT TO NOT TALK... *
* YOU WERE EASY LIKE EASY
* HARD LIKE HARD
* I SHOULD HAVE NEVER TAKEN IT THIS FAR *
* 'CAUSE YOU'RE JUST SORT OF MEAN *
* ALL CAUGHT UP IN SOME SCENE
* AND I HAD THIS TRANSLUCENT DREAM... *
[**]
* THAT YOU COULD DROP IT...
AMY.
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
* AS EASY AS YOU DROPPED YOUR DRAWERS *
* ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MY DOOR
* I KNEW I COULD UNSTONE YOU
* BUT WHAT FOR?
HEY...
WHAT'S UP?
WANT TO GO GET SOME COFFEE?
UM... I CAN'T.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF WORK TO DO
BEFORE THE FACULTY MEETING,
BUT I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
HI, KIT.
WHAT THE FUCK
IS HE DOING IN HERE?
HE'S, UM, HELPING OUT,
KEEPING THINGS TOGETHER WITH THE VENDORS, AND...
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
[SIGHS]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
YEAH?
WOULD YOU JUST GO AWAY?
STOP BRINGING THEM FLOWERS.
IT'S NOT GOING TO...
HEY, PAPI...
WELL, DAMN, LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE BEAT ME TO IT.
NO ONE BEAT YOU TO ANYTHING.
[SIGHS]
HERE YOU GO.
I HAD TO, YOU KNOW, THANK YOU
FOR LETTING ME TAKE YOU DANCING THE OTHER NIGHT.
[CHUCKLES]
THANK YOU.
YOU SHOWED ME RESPECT, YOU KNOW,
AND THAT REALLY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME RIGHT NOW.
WELL, IT WAS AN HONOR AND A PRIVILEGE,
AND, UH...
MAYBE WE CAN DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME SOON
UNDER LESS... COMPROMISING CIRCUMSTANCES.
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
YEAH, WELL, I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO BE
ANY LESS COMPROMISED ANY TIME SOON.
THEN, BABY, I'LL WAIT FOR YOU.
BECAUSE THEN I CAN SHOW YOU
THAT YOU'LL NEVER NEED A MAN EVER AGAIN.
YOU KNOW PAPI CAN ROCK YOUR WORLD,
RIGHT?
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
WHEN YOU GOING TO STOP THAT?
STOP WHAT?
THAT PAPI...
YOU KNOW, THING YOU DO.
YOU KNOW, THE OTHER NIGHT,
I SAW A DIFFERENT SIDE OF PAPI,
A SIDE THAT WAS...
DEEPER AND WARMER.
[SIGHS]
YOU KNOW, NOT THAT PAPI PLAYA THING
YOU DO TO DEATH.
YOU KNOW, IF THERE WAS A PAPI
THAT I'D BE ATTRACTED TO,
THAT WOULD BE THE PAPI THAT WOULD ROCK MY WORLD.
[SLOWLY WALKS AWAY]
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
* HALF-ASLEEP I DREAMED THAT YOU WERE HALF-MINE *
* HALF-AWAKE I DREAMED THAT YOU WERE HALF-DIVINE... *
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I WAS WATCHING YOU SLEEP.
YOU WERE HAVING QUITE THE LITTLE SEX DREAM.
NO, I WASN'T.
YOU WERE. YOU WERE, LIKE...
[GRUNTING SOFTLY]
YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.
I'M NOT.
THEN WHO'S LISA?
WHAT?
YOU WERE SAYING HER NAME.
LISA.
NO, I WASN'T.
IS SHE AN EX?
WAS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?
NO.
SHE WAS, UM...
SOMEONE THAT I SERVED IN IRAQ WITH.
OH.
A STRAIGHT GIRL
WITH A HUSBAND AND A CHILD.
YOU WORRIED?
NO.
[APARTMENT DOOR OPENS]
HOLA, CHICA!
HELENA?
IS THAT YOU?
YEAH.
GET IN HERE. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
[LAUGHS]
HI! OH! OH, I'M SORRY.
IT'S FINE. COME IN.
YOU SURE?
TELL US ABOUT YOUR TRIP. I WANT TO HEAR.
WELL...
WE WENT TO NEW YORK
AND DROPPED OFF MY CHILDREN WITH WINNIE,
AND THEN WE FLEW STRAIGHT ON TO MALLORCA.
WE STAYED AT THIS MOST AMAZING VILLA
OVERLOOKING THE BAY OF PALMA.
OH, MY GOD,
AND THEN, THERE WAS THIS POKER GAME--
YOU FLEW ALL THAT WAY TO PLAY POKER?
IT'S SO, LIKE, UNHEALTHY,
AND UNSTABLE, AND...
WHAT ARE YOU, MY MOTHER NOW?
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF I WAS, I WOULD PROBABLY DISINHERIT YOU AS WELL,
SO...
IN WHICH CASE, ALICE, I WOULD HAVE TO FIND
AN ALTERNATIVE SOURCE OF INCOME,
SO I WOULD GO WITH CATHERINE
TO MALLORCA
TO PLAY POKER...
AND WIN.
YOU WON?
ONLY $150,000.
[GASPS]
[LAUGHS]
OH, MY GOD! WOW...
I SHOULD PLAY POKER.
SO THIS, UM, AGREEMENT
THAT YOU HAVE WITH CATHERINE, IS IT OFFICIAL?
I MEAN, WHEN YOU WIN, DO YOU SPLIT IT 50/50?
YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.
PRETTY MUCH?
YEAH, WE-- YOU KNOW,
WE HAVE AN AGREEMENT.
IT'S FINE, ALICE, IT'S FINE.
IT'S HOW THEY DO IT.
TASH! ALICE!
IS THAT PAPI?
SOUNDS LIKE IT.
PAPI!
RING THE BUZZER!
WHOO!
WHERE'S YOUR FATHER STAYING?
SOME SHITHOLE IN HOLLYWOOD.
AND HE DIDN'T TELL YOU WHY HE WAS HERE?
I MEAN...
HE CLEARLY WANTS SOMETHING.
MOSTLY, HE...
TALKED ABOUT CARLA
AND TRYING TO GET HER INTO A HOSPITAL.
TRYING TO?
IS SHE AN ADDICT OR SOMETHING?
I DON'T KNOW IF SHE IS, BUT HE WAS.
[CAR HORN HONKS]
[KIDS WHOOP AND SPLASH]
HERE WE GO.
DO YOU WANT ME TO COME WITH YOU?
NO, NO, JUST...
KEEP AN EYE ON THEM.
MOM, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!
WHOO-HOO!
THAT'S EXCELLENT, HONEY!
[CHUCKLES]
HEY...
I HAD TO JUST COME BY AND MAKE SURE
Y'ALL WEREN'T GOING BLIND FROM TOO MUCH SEX.
OKAY, LISTEN,
I DON'T WANT TO LECTURE ANYMORE, OKAY?
I JUST THINK "CATHERINE AND I
ARE MAKING $150,000 TOGETHER" IS GREAT,
BUT WHERE IS YOUR SHARE?
ALICE, PLEASE,
I'M NOT AN IDIOT.
WE HAVE A BUSINESS ARRANGEMENT.
OKAY, I JUST THINK YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT IT FOR A SECOND.
YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT THINKING, MAN, YOU KNOW?
THAT'S JUST WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE SPRUNG.
I'M NOT SPRUNG!
YOU ARE A LITTLE BIT--
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOUR HEART DOES WHAT IT WANTS TO,
WHEN YOU'RE WHIPPED.
[LAUGHING]
WHAT?
SHE'S INTO SOMEBODY.
I'M ALWAYS INTO SOMEBODY. IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE THAT--
HOW DO YOU KNOW?SHE'S GOT THE LOOK.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, MAN.
THERE'S NO LOOK.
SEE, NOW, EVERY ONCE IN A BLUE MOON--
YOU DON'T KNOW THIS ABOUT HER, BUT--
SHE FALLS FOR SOMEBODY,
[GIGGLING]: AND SHE GETS THAT LOOK.
LOOK AT HER.
LOOK, ALL SWEET AND CONFUSED.
WELL, WHO'S THE GIRL?
THERE'S NO ONE!
OKAY, THERE COULD...
POSSIBLY BE SOMEBODY,
BUT IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE THAT, MAN.
SHE, LIKE, ACTUALLY GETS ME.
SHE MAKES ME WANT TO, LIKE,
CHANGE MY WAYS AND SHIT, YOU KNOW?
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
[LAUGHING] [DOORBELL CHIMES]
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT THE FRICKIN' FRAK?
OKAY, YOU...
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY WITHOUT TELLING ME,
AND I AM NOT DONE WITH YOU, MISSY.
[DOORBELL CHIMING]
MAN, FUCK YOU...
Y'ALL ARE BOTH SPRUNG, IF YOU ASK ME.
[LAUGHING]
HI, ALICE.
NICE PLACE YOU'VE GOT HERE.
THANKS.
NICE LIFE.
YOU GOT ROOMMATES?
YUP.
SO, WHERE'S MY BOY?
HE'S SWIMMING NEXT DOOR.
TIME TO GET OUT?
WHO'S THAT?
SHE'S A FRIEND OF MINE.
YOU ARE A McCUTCHEON FOR SURE.
WHAT THE HELL'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
WELL, WE'RE SURVIVORS, YOU AND ME.
WHEN WE FALL OFF THE WAGON, WE FALL REALLY HARD,
BUT WE BOUNCE BACK,
AND WE ALWAYS FIND A PRETTY GIRL
TO HELP PUT OUR SHIT BACK TOGETHER.
FUCK YOU.
AH, SHANE,
I KNOW CARLA DUMPED A HUGE LOAD OF SHIT ON YOU, HONEY, BUT--
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU DON'T GET IT.
I'M NOTHING LIKE YOU.
AND HOW DARE YOU...
YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE, AND YOU SIT THERE,
AND YOU BUILD YOURSELF UP,
BECAUSE YOU'RE A PATHETIC FUCK.
I DIDN'T COME HERE
TO ARGUE WITH YOU, SHANE.
THEN WHY DID YOU COME HERE?
I'M GOING BACK TO OREGON THIS AFTERNOON,
AND I'M TAKING MY SON HOME WITH ME.
NO...
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
SHANE...
SHANE, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR LOOKING AFTER HIM
THE WAY YOU DID.
YOU DID A GOOD JOB,
AND I'M FOREVER GRATEFUL TO YOU.
YOU CAN'T JUST DISAPPEAR FOR MONTHS
WITH SOME FUCKING GIRL,
AND THEN YOU RIP MY FRIENDS OFF.
YOU LEFT HIM AND HE HAD NOBODY.
I LEFT HIM WITH HIS MOTHER.
OH, OH, THE MOTHER.
[LAUGHS]
YOU KNOW, WE'RE...
WE'RE GOOD HERE.
DO YOU HEAR ME? WE'RE GOOD.
HE'S GOING TO SCHOOL, AND HE HAS FRIENDS, AND HE--
I'M HIS FATHER.
YOU ABANDONED HIM. I'M HIS FATHER.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHIT TO ME. I'M SORRY.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, TAKE ME TO COURT?
YEAH.
YEAH. I COULD.
OH, SWEETIE, LOOK...
I'M HIS FATHER.
ANY COURT WILL LOOK FAVORABLY ON THAT.
THEY'LL ALSO FIND
THAT I LOOKED HIGH AND LOW FOR MY SON
AND HIS MOTHER,
THAT HOMELESS JUNKIE LIVING OFF THE GRID,
AND IN THE END,
IF THEY DECIDE I'M NOT FIT,
WHAT DO YOU THINK'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO SHAY?
THEY MIGHT GIVE HIM TO YOU,
BUT I DOUBT IT...
AND IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN...
[WHISPERING]: YOU HAVE A RECORD.
I WAS A KID, AND THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
SHANE IS ONE OF THE MOST RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE
YOU WILL EVER MEET.
AND IF THE COURT DOESN'T THINK SO,
THEN WHAT?
THEY'LL PUT SHAY IN THE SYSTEM...
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE, DON'T YOU, SHANE?
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
IT'S REALLY NOT A GOOD TIME RIGHT NOW
TO COME IN, LEONARD.
YEAH, WELL, IT WASN'T THE BEST TIME
FOR MY WORLD TO COME APART, THERE,
EITHER, ALICE.
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
[MOUTHING WORDS]
I'M... LEONARD KROLL.
I'M PHYLLIS KROLL'S HUSBAND.
YEAH...
HI, HELENA.
LEONARD...
YOU KNOW PHYLLIS?
YEAH, I IMAGINE YOU ALL HAVE HAD THE PRIVILEGE
OF GETTING TO KNOW PHYLLIS.
MAYBE NOT AS...
INTIMATELY AS ALICE DID.
AH...
SO, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY WIFE, ALICE?
WHAT DID I...
WHAT DID I DO TO YOUR WIFE?
UH...
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GOING TO GO, ALL RIGHT?
NO, BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME
YOU TOOK CARE OF THIS SHIT.
HOW DID YOU TURN HER INTO A LESBIAN?
LEONARD, NOBODY TURNS SOMEBODY ELSE
INTO A LESBIAN.
SHE TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE THE LOVE OF HER LIFE...
THAT WHAT SHE EXPERIENCED WITH YOU
WAS UNPRECEDENTED.
SHE SAID THAT THE SEX WAS LIFE-ALTERING.
MM, WELL...
LIFE...
ALTERING.
THIS IS WHERE IT ALL HAPPENED, ISN'T IT?
RIGHT HERE IN THIS GODDAMN BED.
[SIGHS]
[ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE]
MARKUS BASCHUNG REPRESENTS EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG
WITH THIS PROGRAM!
YOU MIGHT AS WELL SAY
THAT PORNOGRAPHY IS LITERATURE.
HE IS A FRAUD. OH, PORNOGRAPHY--
HE IS SEARCHING FOR THE CONSUMMATE EXPANSE---
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
MARKUS BASCHUNG'S PHOTO ESSAY
IS THE BEST WORK THAT I'VE SEEN IN 10 YEARS--
IT IS A RAPE FANTASY.
HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT?
GIVE YOUR THIRD-WAVE FEMINIST AGENDA
A REST, ALL RIGHT?
ART SHOULD BE JUDGED
ON ITS AESTHETIC MERITS--
YOU CANNOT DIVORCE THE WORK FROM ITS MEANING--
[TOM INTERPRETING]: I AGREE WITH CAROL,
TOTALLY, BECAUSE HIS WORK IS VILE--
OKAY, I THINK THAT WE'VE HEARD ENOUGH.
[TOM]: HE DOES NOT EVEN DESERVE TO BE RECOGNIZED--
PRESTON, YOU RECOMMEND
MARKUS BASCHUNG. FINE.
WE'RE MOVING ON.
NEXT, WE HAVE LANI SHIPMAN.
WELL, HER WORK IS AMATEUR,
PEDANTIC...
HER INSPIRATION MIGHT AS WELL
[TOM]: LANI SHIPMAN IS A DARING,
ORIGINAL YOUNG VOICE,
AND SHE NEEDS THE MONEY.
WELL, I'M SURE THAT THEY ALL NEED THE MONEY,
BUT WE'RE HERE TO DISCUSS THE QUALITY OF THE WORK.
[TOM]: MARKUS BASCHUNG DRIVES
A NEW MERCEDES BENZ.
THAT'S IRRELEVANT.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU CAN'T DISCUSS
THE NATURE OF THE WORK, THEN WE HAVE TO MOVE ON.
[TOM]: BUT EACH STUDENT'S
INDIVIDUAL FINANCIAL STATUS IS RELEVANT--
WE'RE BEHIND.
WE CANNOT DEBATE CRITERIA RIGHT NOW.
YOU LET THEM ARGUE ABOUT NOTHING FOR 20 MINUTES.
IT WASN'T ABOUT NOTHING--
EXCUSE ME.
I SUGGEST THAT WE BREAK FOR LUNCH
AND RECONVENE AT 2:30.
[GROUP MURMURING]
I WONDER IF I CAN HAVE A WORD.
BETTE...
WE NEED TO TALK.
DO YOU WANT TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT?
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
IF YOU'RE MAD AT ME ABOUT THIS MORNING,
I WISH YOU WOULD TELL ME.
I'M NOT MAD, OKAY?
I'M JUST EXHAUSTED.
COME ON.
SO WHERE DID YOU...
SO WHERE DID YOU GO LAST NIGHT?
WHAT?
SO WHERE DID YOU AND AMY...
GO?
A THAI PLACE IN VENICE.
SO SHE LIVES IN VENICE?
I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
EXCUSE ME.
HOLY MARY, MOTHER OF JESUS...
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I JUST...
I JUST GOT A TEXT MESSAGE
FROM ALICE.
NO WAY.
WE'LL CONTACT A LAWYER.
HE'S FULL OF SHIT.
HE'S ALL BRAVADO.
NO, HE...
HE'S RIGHT ABOUT WHAT HE SAID.
YEAH, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW A JUDGE WOULD RULE IF--
WILL YOU... WILL YOU STOP?
PLEASE!
I'M JUST...
I'M NOT HAVING MY BROTHER GO TO FOSTER CARE.
THAT'S IT.
OKAY, UM...
I'M GOING TO GET JARED, AND WE'RE GOING TO GO.
SO IF YOU WANT TO TALK...
JUST CALL ME.
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE IT'S SOME SORT OF MID-LIFE CRISIS OR SOMETHING.
I MEAN, BEING A LESBIAN
IS PRETTY TRENDY THESE DAYS.
YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO SAY THAT
IN A ROOM FULL OF LESBIANS.
I THINK HE MIGHT BE RIGHT.
I THINK BEING GAY IS VERY COOL RIGHT NOW.
MAYBE IN THE YOUNGER CROWD.
I CAN GUARANTEE YOU,
PHYLLIS IS NOT TRYING TO BE COOL.
OKAY, WELL, UM, MENOPAUSE.
I MEAN, THAT CAUSES WOMEN
TO DO CRAZY THINGS--
YOU KNOW, LEONARD,
THIS MIGHT BE REALLY HARD
FOR YOU TO ACCEPT,
BUT I THINK PHYLLIS
MIGHT BE A LESBIAN.
THAT IS INCONCEIVABLE.
YOU CANNOT BE MARRIED 23 YEARS AND HAVE CHILDREN
WITHOUT SOME INKLING--
LEONARD, IT HAPPENS.
MUCH MORE OFTEN THAN YOU WOULD IMAGINE.
YEAH, SHE PROBABLY KNEW FOR A LONG TIME.
SHE JUST DIDN'T WANT
TO ADMIT IT TO HERSELF.
SEE, THAT'S THAT HEART.
THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING, MAN.
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
I MEAN, IT'S ABOUT SEX.
I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO BE A PIG HERE,
BUT... I MEAN...
WHAT CAN YOU LADIES DO TO A WOMAN
THAT I CAN'T DO TO A WOMAN?
NOW, WHAT IS...
EXPLAIN TO ME THE BIG MYSTERY HERE.
UM, LEONARD, IT'S NOT ABOUT SEX.
YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, IT'S ABOUT SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
THERE'S...
THINGS...
IT'S ABOUT KNOWING
WHAT A WOMAN IS THINKING,
WHAT A WOMAN IS FEELING
WHEN YOU TOUCH HER--
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ALL THAT.
SOMETIMES IT'S GREAT WHEN PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT MECHANICS.
THIS IS SOMETHING PHYLLIS IS GOING THROUGH
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HER WHOLE LIFE.
IT'S VERY BIG.
WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER, ALICE?
IT'S LIKE YOU CAST
SOME SORT OF SPELL ON HER.
SHE CRIED MORE
OVER YOU
THAN SHE HAS CRIED HER WHOLE LIFE.
LEONARD, IT'S NOT ABOUT ALICE.
RIGHT, IT'S NOT ABOUT HER, MAN.
IT'S NOT.
YEAH, BUT SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN INVOLVED
WOMAN. MARRIED THAT'S TRUE.
THAT'S A GIVEN.
NO, AND-- AND I--
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE
TO YOU... ABOUT THAT.
THE NIGHT I MET YOU, YOU KNOW, I...
I PUT A STOP TO IT.
SO...
BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT HER.
SEE, YOUR LADY WAS GOING DOWN THIS ROAD
ON HER OWN.
ALICE JUST HAPPENED FIRST.
NOTHING WAS GOING TO STOP THAT.
WE MET[SOBBING] AT A BAD TIME...
EXACTLY!
LEONARD, LEONARD, LEONARD,
LEONARD, LISTEN...
LEONARD, YOU'VE GOT TO HOLD ON TO YOURSELF.
[SIGHS AND SNIFFLES]
OKAY, REMEMBER WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
ALL RIGHT, YOUR VALUE IN LIFE IS NOT PHYLLIS.
YOU'RE LEONARD,
AND YOU STILL HAVE
A LOT OF GREAT STUFF AHEAD OF YOU.
ALL RIGHT, YOU AND PHYLLIS HAD AN AMAZING RUN.
ALL RIGHT, YOU EVEN HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN,
BUT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT CHANGE,
AND YOU'VE GOT TO CONFRONT IT HEAD ON.
DO THE HARDEST THING ANYONE COULD EVER DO.
LEONARD, YOU'VE GOT TO LET HER GO.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
OH, MY GOD...
YOU'RE FUCKIN' DEEP, MAN.
OH, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
OH, BOY.
I BELIEVE YOU HAVE MY HUSBAND.
HE'S IN THE BEDROOM.
HE'S ASKING SOME PRETTY DIFFICULT QUESTIONS.
I KNOW THE WAY.
PHYLLIS... SORRY, JUST WAIT.
UM...
I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY
TO, UM, APOLOGIZE TO YOU,
TO SAY I'M SORRY.
UH...
WE REALLY, UH, ENDED THINGS ABRUPTLY,
AND, YOU KNOW, I JUST KIND OF DISAPPEARED ON YOU,
DIDN'T I?
YES, YOU DID.
YEAH.
I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY.
I THINK IT WAS JUST,
UM...
TOO MUCH?
YOU KNOW?
YEAH.
I'M SORRY, TOO.
I ABSOLUTELY
SUFFOCATED YOU.
I WAS LIKE A TEENAGER IN LOVE,
OVERWHELMED BY MY EMOTIONS.
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
IT WAS TOO MUCH.
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER PUT ALL THAT ON YOU.
WELL, I'D LIKE TO BE FRIENDS.
ME TOO.
[LAUGHS]
[PATTING ALICE'S BACK HEARTILY]
OKAY...
OH... YEAH.
GREAT. OKAY.
[TRIES DOOR]
[RATTLING KNOB]
[KNOCKING]
[DRILL WHIRRS]
[KNOCKS ON BEAM]
YOU LEFT.
WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION.
WE WERE NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION.
YOU WERE BEING SNIPPY WITH ME
FOR GOING OUT WITH AMY
AFTER YOU TOLD ME TO GO OUT WITH HER.
I TOLD YOU TO GO OUT WITH HER
BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO,
OKAY?
I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO RUB IT IN MY FACE.
I WASN'T RUBBING IT IN YOUR FACE.
OKAY...
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
IF I BROUGHT SOMEONE I WAS DATING TO SCHOOL,
AND I JUST PARADED HER AROUND
IN FRONT OF YOU?
NO, NO, ACTUALLY, DON'T.
DON'T ANSWER IT.
FUCK YOU.
JUST FUCK YOU.
JUST-- I'M SORRY. IT'S NOTHING.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
DOESN'T MATTER?
BUT IT DIDN'T WORK.
[SIGHS]
EVERY TIME I LOOKED AT HER,
MY HEAD FILLED
WITH PICTURES OF YOU.
HER SKIN DIDN'T FEEL AS SOFT AS YOURS.
I DIDN'T LIKE THE WAY SHE TOUCHED ME,
AND HER KISS...
DIDN'T MAKE MY HEAD SPIN
THE WAY YOURS DOES.
YOU'VE RUINED ME FOR ANYBODY ELSE.
I TOLD HER
I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE HER ANYMORE.
SHE WAS PRETTY UPSET.
BETTE...
PLEASE?
YOU ARE A FUCKING...
HEARTBREAKER.
CAN SOMEONE GO SEE WHERE MAX IS?
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
MAX IS ON THE WAY.
WHAT WAS THE HOLDUP?
HEY, SORRY I'M LATE.
WE'VE BEEN WAITING.
I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH SPACE GATE.
THEY'RE HAVING TROUBLE TESTING THEIR NEW DEVICE DRIVERS,
SO I HAD TO TALK THEM THROUGH IT.
WELL, WE'RE ALL ON A SCHEDULE HERE, MAX.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP OUT ONE OF OUR CLIENTS.
WELL, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,
WE ALL HAVE CLIENTS HERE,
AND WE ALL NEED TO MEET THEIR DEMANDS.
THAT'S WHY WE MANAGE OUR TIME.
IT WAS POOR JUDGMENT ON YOUR PART
TO KEEP THE ENTIRE STAFF WAITING.
[WHISPERING]
TAKE A SEAT.
WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.
AND BY THE WAY, PEOPLE,
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
THERE'S NOTHING I HATE MORE
THAN WHEN YOU MAKE EXCUSES FOR YOURSELVES.
I DON'T EVEN LET MY OWN DAUGHTER GET AWAY WITH THAT.
WE ALL HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
FOR OUR ACTIONS.
NOW, LET'S GET STARTED.
THAT'S NOT WHY SHE WENT BACK TO MEN.
IT WAS THE HUMILIATION OF FINDING OUT
THAT HER LOVER WAS CHEATING ON HER.
THAT WAS THE REASON.
NO, NINA WENT BACK TO MEN
BECAUSE SHE'S ONE OF THOSE WOMEN
THAT FINDS SAFETY AND SECURITY
BY BELONGING TO THE DOMINANT CULTURE.
[SCOFFS]
FEELS SAFE... JENNY...
IF THERE'S A MAN BY HER SIDE.
YOU KNOW?
I'M SORRY. I LOVE YOUR MOVIES.
IT'S SUCH AN HONOR TO MEET YOU.
SORRY, SORRY, I'M JUST...
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MEETING, GUYS.
I WAS... MAYBE...
I'LL SIGN MY LAST NAME LATER.
OKAY, SO ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAYING,
THE STORY'S REALLY CENTERED
AROUND JESSIE'S SELF-DETERMINATION,
AND HOW SHE FINDS STRENGTH THROUGH THAT.
THAT IS RIGHT,
AND I LOVE THESE KINDS OF STORIES,
BECAUSE I LOVE THE LADIES' STORIES,
I UNDERSTAND THAT JERRY IS A WOMAN, RIGHT--
JENNY.
JESSIE.
OH, JESSIE.
LET ME SAY THAT JESSIE HAS HAD THE WORST MEN IN HER LIFE,
YOU KNOW, AND SHE'S STILL BEING VICTIMIZED,
BY CRAPOLA GUYS,
AND THEN SHE FINDS THE ULTIMATE EMPOWERMENT,
WHERE SHE REALIZES THAT SHE DOESN'T NEED MEN.
SHE DOESN'T NEED THEM,
SHE DOESN'T WANT THEM,
AND SHE DOESN'T DESIRE THEM.
YES, HALLELUJAH!
THIS IS SUCH AN UPLIFTING MOVIE
ABOUT A GIRL WHO DISCOVERS HERSELF,
AND, IN DOING SO,
SHE FINDS TRUE LOVE,
AND THAT'S VERY HARD TO DO
IN A ROMANTIC COMEDY,
AND THAT'S WHY THIS IS A PARTICULARLY GOOD ONE,
AND I THINK THE FIRST AND SECOND ACT
LEAD RIGHT TO A THIRD ACT,
WHICH COULD USE A TWIST, JUST A LITTLE MORE INTRIGUE.
LIKE MAYBE...
SHE'S A PRINCESS IN ANOTHER TIME,
AND SHE REVEALS
THAT SHE'S BEEN HIDING IT,
BECAUSE I NEED AN IMAGE, LIKE A TIARA.
YOU KNOW, IT'S--
CAN I JUST ADD TO IT?
BECAUSE I JUST HAVE, LIKE, A LITTLE BRAINSTORMY THING.
UM, I THINK THAT...
OKAY, WHAT IF JESSIE IS A SEX WORKER, OKAY,
AND KARINA IS, LIKE, A WEALTHY BUSINESSWOMAN,
AND THEN KARINA HIRES JESSIE FOR THE NIGHT,
SWEEPS HER OFF HER FEET,
THEY FALL MADLY IN LOVE...
JENNY--
TAKES HER SHOPPING ON RODEO DRIVE,
AND GIVES HER THE JEWELRY BOX,
AND THEN HER HAND ALMOST GETS CAUGHT,
AND SHE GOES, "AH, HA, HA, HA, HA!"
LIKE THAT,
AND THEN SHE SITS IN THE BUBBLE BATH--
OKAY, THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.
YOU KNOW, SHE'S REALLY SENSITIVE
ABOUT THE MATERIAL.
WELL, SHE DOESN'T WANT ANYBODY TO MESS IT UP.
I MEAN, UH...
YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
DO YOU LIKE ROMANTIC COMEDY?
YEAH!
THERE YOU GO. CASE CLOSED.
COME ON.
NO, WAIT.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I WANT TO ASK ONE MORE QUESTION.
WE CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THEIR TIME, LEONARD.
WHY?
WHAT ARE THEY DOING THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT
THAN HELPING ME UNDERSTAND
WHY MY LIFE HAS SUDDENLY FALLEN APART?
HE'S GOT A POINT.
I MEAN, LOOK AT HER. LOOK AT HER.
NOW, IS SHE NOT
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN,
AND THE MOST BRILLIANT?
SO HOW THE HELL
AM I SUPPOSED TO GET OVER HER?
HMM?
I'M NOT REALLY THAT GREAT.
TELL HIM, ALICE.
OH, PHYLLIS, YOU ARE GREAT.
YOU'RE AMAZING. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, LEONARD.
BUT I'M A LESBIAN.
YEAH, YEAH.
YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE, TOO.
BUT LEONARD IS FANTASTIC, TOO.
HE'S GREAT.
YES, YOU ARE.
YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL.
IF I WAS EVER GOING TO BE WITH A MAN AGAIN,
IT WOULD BE WITH YOU.
NOW, CAN WE PLEASE LEAVE?
YEAH.
[SNIFFLES]
BYE, LEONARD.
[DOOR CLOSES]
OH...
[ALL SIGHING HEAVILY]
OKAY, WHO NEEDS A DRINK, HUH?
RIGHT HERE. ALL RIGHT.
GOT ONE!
OKAY, POP IT, POP IT, AND...
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN,
EIGHT, NINE, 10, 11, SHOOT!
GOOD ONE!
LOT OF FOLLOW-THROUGH.
THIS IS FOR YOU.
OPEN IT.
AWESOME!
IT'S FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY NEXT WEEK.
I PUT ALL THE, UM...
THE SONGS WE LISTEN TO ON IT.
"PIECE OF MY HEART"?
JANIS JOPLIN...
I LOVE JANIS JOPLIN.
HEY, LISTEN,
LET'S SEE WHAT'S THERE.
YOU WANT ME TO LISTEN TO ONE
YOU LISTEN TO THE OTHER?
HOW DO YOU TURN IT ON?
[MUSIC BLARES THROUGH EARPHONES]
COOL.
NICE SOUND, HUH?
YOU GUYS, UH, SHOULD GO.
YOU GOT A...
YOU GOT A LONG DRIVE
AND I HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, SO...
[CLEARS THROAT]
TAKE CARE.
YEAH.
[CLEARS THROAT]
ALL RIGHT, WELL, LISTEN, I, UH...
I WANT YOU TO BE GOOD TO YOURSELF.
OKAY.
AND YOU KNOW I'M ALWAYS HERE IF YOU NEED ME.
DON'T FORGET THAT.
I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU
A BETTER HAIRCUT.
MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME.
OKAY?
GO.
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
[CAR RECEDES]
[SOBBING]
THAT'S BULLSHIT, MAX. THEY CAN'T TREAT YOU LIKE THAT.
I MEAN, HE LOOKS FOR ANY EXCUSE TO PICK ON ME,
AND HE CAN'T STEP TOO FAR OUT OF LINE,
BECAUSE HE'S GOT
THE HUMAN RESOURCES LAWYER THERE,
LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER.
HE'S JUST GOING TO TRY TO MAKE IT
SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME
THAT I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
JUST QUIT.
I CAN'T REALLY AFFORD TO QUIT.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
DO YOU MIND GRABBING THAT FOR ME?
HELLO?
I'M SORRY?
MOIRA...
UH...
OH, THAT'S ME.
OH.
WHO'S CALLING?
IT'S MAGGIE?
THAT'S MY SISTER.
HEY, MAGGIE.
WHAT?
WHEN?
UM...
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME EARLIER?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T WANT ME TO COME HOME?
IT'S NOT A...
YOU KNOW WHAT, MAGGIE?
IT'S NOT UP TO YOU, OKAY?
FUCK OFF!
SHIT.
GRACE...
MY MOM DIED.
I'M SO SORRY.
IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS SICK.
MAGGIE SAID SHE WAS DIAGNOSED
EIGHT WEEKS AGO.
SHE DOESN'T WANT ME COMING HOME
FOR THE FUNERAL.
YOUR SISTER ASKED YOU
NOT TO GO TO THE FUNERAL?
SHE'S THE ONLY ONE
WHO KNOWS I'M TRANSITIONING.
SHE THINKS IT'S GOING TO BE
TOO HARD ON MY DAD.
WOW...
MAYBE SHE'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW?
IT WOULD BE A TOTAL... DISASTER.
BUT SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO TELL YOU
YOU CAN'T GO.
I KNOW.
MAYBE IT...
MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BEST.
I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, I...
MY FAMILY WAS...
WAS PRETTY ROUGH, YOU KNOW?
MY MOM...
SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE
WHO WAS REALLY THERE FOR ME.
AND I ALWAYS JUST...
YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT...
I JUST GUESS I WISH
I COULD'VE SEEN HER OR SOMETHING
YOU HAVE TO GO, MAX.
WOULD IT HELP IF I WENT WITH YOU?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
I MEAN, YOU...
YOU BARELY EVEN KNOW ME.
IT'S WHAT I'D WANT SOMEONE TO DO FOR ME.
[CRYING]
I THINK WE HELPED HIM.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
IT HASN'T EVEN STARTED TO SINK IN.
POOR LEONARD.
HIS HEART'S BROKEN, YOU KNOW.
HE'LL FIND SOMEONE ELSE, BUT IN THE MEANTIME,
YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM MARRIED PEOPLE.
OH, LOOK WHO'S TALKING,
AND BY THE WAY, DON'T THINK I'VE FORGOTTEN.
YOUR LITTLE BREAK IS UP. WHO'S THE GIRL?
FIRST OF ALL, THERE'S NO GIRL.
SHE'S A WOMAN.
AND SECOND, SHE'S SPECIAL.
SO IF YOU DON'T MIND,
I'D LIKE TO RESPECT HER PRIVACY.
OH, PLEASE, YOU GOT IT BAD.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
IS THAT ME?
NO, THAT'S ME.
WAIT, I FEEL IT.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
OH...
OH, GOT IT.
OH, CATHERINE...
ALICE, GIVE IT HERE.
OH, CATHERINE. OH, CATHERINE.
"OH, CATHERINE." GIVE IT.
HELLO.
OH, HI, CATHERINE.
"OH, HI, CATHERINE."
WHAT?
OH, UH...
NO, I, UM...
I COMPLETELY FORGOT.
OF COURSE--
YEAH, OF COURSE, I'LL BE...
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
ALL RIGHT. BYE.
I'VE GOT TO GO.
CATHERINE'S DRY-CLEANING.
WHAT?
YOU'RE RUNNING ERRANDS FOR HER?
SPRUNG!
NO, AND NO, AND NO.
I'M JUST DOING HER A FAVOR, ALL RIGHT?
SHE'S JUST DOING HER A FAVOR.
I THOUGHT I'D BE BACK HOURS AGO.
OKAY, WELL, DON'T FORGET TO PICK UP
YOUR HALF OF THE MONEY.
[LAUGHING]
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
FUCK...
I FEEL THAT ONE.
IT'S NOT OVER HERE.
I MIGHT BE SITTING ON IT.
GOT IT, GOT IT.
HELLO.
HEY, AL?
YEAH, IT'S ME.
HI, SHANE!
SHANE, SHANE...
OH, MY GOD, WE'VE BEEN HAVING A PARTY IN BED ALL DAY.
SHANE, COME OVER.
SHANE?
UM...
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
HELLO?
ARE YOU OKAY?
NO, I'M NOT SO GOOD.
MM-MM.
SHAY LEFT.
DO YOU, UM...
DO YOU WANT TO COME AND MEET ME?
ALL RIGHT, WHERE ARE YOU?
I'M COMING.
I'M AT SUNSET AND HARPER.
OKAY.
FUCK.
[BEBOP PLAYING]
KIT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
WHAT I DO ANYMORE.
WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T BE DRINKING, KIT.
[CHUCKLES RUEFULLY]
YEAH, AND WHO DO I HAVE TO THANK FOR THAT, HMM?
COULD I, UM...
COULD I GIVE YOU A RIDE HOME?
WHY?
SO YOU CAN BEG AT ME AND TELL ME
HOW SORRY YOUR ASS IS?
PLEASE. GIVE ME A BREAK.
CAN I...
CAN I PLEASE JUST TALK TO YOU?
HEY, EVERYBODY!
STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING,
SHUT THE FUCK UP, AND LISTEN.
OKAY?
THE MAN WANTS TO TALK.
[SIGHS]
UH...
I'M SORRY.
I, UH...
I'M AN IDIOT, AND I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE.
YOU THINK?
AND...
I KNOW YOU HATE ME RIGHT NOW, UM,
AND I DON'T... I DON'T BLAME YOU,
BUT I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU...
MORE THAN ANYONE I'VE EVER LOVED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE,
AND I'M GOING TO STICK AROUND, UM...
AS LONG AS I CAN
IN THE HOPES
THAT YOU'LL EVENTUALLY FORGIVE ME.
THAT'S...
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT.
I'M, UH...
I'M STICKING.
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU...
AND HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
YOU DID GREAT.
YOU HELPED ME OUT.
THANK YOU.
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
[GRINDER WHIRRING]
REMINDS YOU OF, UH...
PHOEBE KADLEC?
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU REMEMBER THAT.
I REMEMBER EVERY LITTLE THING
YOU TOLD ME ABOUT YOURSELF.
LANI SHIPMAN DESERVES
THAT SCHOLARSHIP, YOU KNOW.
SHE DOES.
WE'LL SEE, OKAY?
OKAY.
I SAW A GREAT PIECE OF METAL THIS MORNING ON THE WAY TO WORK,
AND IT WAS REALLY COOL.
ON YOUR WAY FROM AMY'S?
SHE DIDN'T WANT TO STOP FOR IT.
PHILISTINE.
I WAS THINKING ABOUT HAVING A DINNER PARTY.
I REALLY WANT YOU TO...
MEET SOME OF MY FRIENDS.
OH...
DON'T WORRY.
IT'S NOT FORMAL,
AND THEY'LL LOVE YOU.
CAN I COOK?
I DON'T KNOW, CAN YOU?
I MAKE A...
WICKED SPAGHETTI PUTTANESCA.
YOUR ITALIAN IS VERY GOOD.
THANK YOU.
[CHUCKLES]
SURE.
I'D LOVE TO.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE JUST BEAUTIFUL.
SO ARE YOU.
NO, REALLY.
SO...
SO BEAUTIFUL.
[LAUGHING]
IT'S AMAZING WE GOT THIS MEETING WITH LAWRENCE,
BECAUSE HE IS THE FIRST PRODUCER
TO MARRY INDEPENDENT FILM WITH COMMERCIAL SUCCESS,
AND HE'S DONE IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN
WITH GUS VAN SANT
AND QUENTIN TARANTINO,
SO WE NEED TO LISTEN TO HIM, OKAY?
OKAY. NO PROBLEM.
THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO HEAR HIS IDEAS.
HE HAS A VERY SPECIFIC TAKE ON THIS, OKAY?
OKAY, I'LL LISTEN. I'LL BE QUIET.
I WON'T SAY ANYTHING.
REALLY? OKAY.
LAWRENCE, HI!
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
YOU LOOK GREAT.
YOU LOOK FANTASTIC, AND YOU MUST BE JENNY.
I AM.
I LOVE YOUR STORY, JENNY.
WHAT PART DO YOU LIKE?
UM, WE CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR YOUR IDEAS.
OH, GREAT, GREAT.
RIGHT, JENNY?
YES, WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT LESBIANS?
LESBIANS...
WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE ABOUT LESBIANS?
YOU KNOW, I WAS INTO LESBIANS
WAY BEFORE THIS NEW CHIC LESBIAN FAD.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW,
BUT I ACTUALLY HAVE A 35-MILLIMETER PRINT
OF THE KILLING OF SISTER GEORGE.
WOW.
YEAH, COME SIT DOWN.
SO...
WHERE, HERE?
YEAH, SIT RIGHT THERE.
THAT'D BE GREAT.
WHEN I READ YOUR STORY,
I THOUGHT, "THIS COULD BE
"JUST LIKE A REGULAR LESBIAN MOVIE,
BUT THAT'S BEEN DONE A MILLION TIMES BEFORE."
SO I STARTED THINKING--
I DON'T THINK IT'S BEEN DONE A MILLION TIMES.
WHAT COULD WE DO TO PUSH THE BOUNDARIES?
WHAT COULD BE, LIKE, YES, LESBIAN,
BUT LESBIAN-PLUS,
AND I GOT TO ADMIT,
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN MY LIFE'S DREAM
TO MAKE A MUSICAL,
AND I REALLY THINK THAT'S WHAT LEZ GIRLS IS,
IS A MUSICAL.
I LOVE IT.
REALLY?
I LOVE IT!
[LAUGHING]
I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT.
WHAT DID I SAY AT THE FIRST MEETING?
SHE WANTS A MUSICAL.
REALLY? I LOVE IT.
I HAVE BEEN DREAMING OF THIS.
OKAY, BEFORE YOU SAY ANOTHER WORD,
I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
I'M SO EXCITED.
THERE'S THIS WOMAN WHO IS EXTRAORDINARY,
AND I'VE BEEN WANTING TO WORK WITH HER
FOR A LONG TIME,
AND I REALLY THINK THAT I COULD MAKE A MARRIAGE
BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU.
REALLY?
YEAH. OKAY, COOL.
LADIES, WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.
[DRUM ROLL]
LOVELY, LISSOME LADIES,
LECHEROUS, LEERING LOTHARIOS,
LOVE IS IN THE AIR.
FROM AS FAR AS PARIS
AND AS CLOSE AS SILVERLAKE BOULEVARD,
FROM THE MINDS OF THE MAGI,
FROM THE BODIES OF ANGELS,
THE MOUTHS OF BABES,
I GIVE YOU...
THE DITTY BOPS...
I GIVE YOU LE CIRQUE DU FERRER,
I GIVE YOU...
"LEZ GIRLS, THE MUSICAL."
[**]
* HELLO, I'M JESSIE
* FROM ANY LITTLE TOWN, USA *
* COUNTESS KARINA
* THE MISTRESS OF THE PLUTO CAFE *
* I HAVE A BOYFRIEND
* BUT I'M INTRIGUED BY YOU *
* JUST ONE SMOOCH IN THE LADIES' ROOM *
* AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT TO DO *
* LEZ GIRLS COME INTO OUR WORLD *
* IT'S A CATCH * IT'S A CATCH
* IT'S A CAN * IT'S A CAN
* IT'S A LIFE WITHOUT THE MAN
* IN THE CITY OF THE ANGELS
* WHERE THE DEVIL LIES WITHIN
* COME ONE, COME ALL LET US BEGIN *
* LEZ GIRLS COME INTO OUR WORLD *
* YOU'LL BE SHOCKED AND AMUSED
* TITILLATED AND CONFUSED
* BY THE SULTRY, SAPPHIC STORY
* OF A CERTAIN GROUP OF FRIENDS *
* COME ON, COME IN WE'RE READY TO BEGIN... *
WHOO!
[CLAPPING]
WELL, YOU WERE THERE WHEN HE NEEDED YOU, RIGHT?
YEAH, SO WHAT?
AND YOU'D BE THERE AGAIN IF HE NEEDED YOU.
RIGHT?
YEAH.
WELL, SHAY KNOWS THAT.
HE KNOWS HE DIDN'T LOSE YOU,
AND I THINK THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING,
BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO LOSE SOMEONE WE LOVE.
YEAH.
BUT IN THE MEANTIME...
YOU HAVE TO DRIVE BY THIS FUCKING BILLBOARD
EVERY DAY.
AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET ANGRY
EVERY TIME YOU PASS BY IT.
SO...
HOW IS IT?
WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D LOOK SO GOOD
WITH FACIAL HAIR.
OOH, PUT A UNIBROW.
OH, BEAUTIFUL.
YOU GOT IT? YEAH.
WHOO, LOOK AT THAT.
YOU'RE A REALLY GOOD FRIEND, ALICE.
YOU SAVED ME.
I LOVE YOU, SHANE.
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
[**]
[LAUGHING]
I'M GOING TO HAVE A BIG...
* IF I COULD SHIMMY LIKE MY SISTER KATE *
* SHAKE IT LIKE A BOWL OF JELLY ON A PLATE *
* MY MOMMA WANTED TO KNOW LAST NIGHT *
* HOW SISTER KATE COULD DO IT OH, SO NICE *
* NOW ALL THE BOYS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD *
* KATIE COULD SHIMMY ASS MIGHTY GOOD *
* WELL, IT MAY BE LATE BUT I'LL BE UP TO DATE *
* WHEN I CAN SHIMMY LIKE MY SISTER KATE *
* OH, YEAH SHAKE IT LIKE MY SISTER KATE *
[LAUGHING]
[**]
* IF I COULD SHIMMY LIKE MY SISTER KATE *
* I'D NEVER STAY HOME STAY OUT TOO LATE *
* I'D GET MYSELF ABOUT AS HIGH AS A KITE *
* YOU KNOW I'D DO IT FOR YOU EVERY NIGHT *
* NOW ALL THE BOYS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD *
* KATIE COULD SHIMMY ASS MIGHTY GOOD *
* WELL, I MAY BE LATE BUT I'LL BE UP TO DATE *
* WHEN I CAN SHIMMY LIKE MY SISTER KATE *
* OH, YEAH SHAKE IT LIKE MY SISTER KATE *
[**]
* IF I COULD SHIMMY LIKE MY SISTER KATE *
* SHAKE IT LIKE A BOWL OF JELLY ON A PLATE *
* MY MOMMA WANTED TO KNOW LAST NIGHT *
* HOW SISTER KATE COULD DO IT OH, SO NICE *
* NOW ALL THE BOYS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD... *
[**]
YEAH.