SO YOU DROVE ALL THE WAY FROM L.A. TO LOS ALAMITOS,
TALKED YOUR WAY ONTO A MILITARY BASE
TO TELL ME YOU REALLY LIKE ME.
I WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT A PORTAL TO ME.
LOVING SHAY AND CARING FOR HIM
HAS BEEN THE MOST AMAZING
AND IMPORTANT THING I'VE EVER DONE.
SINCE WE ALREADY DID THE TIME,
WE MIGHT AS WELL DO THE CRIME.
SHE'S NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH THIS WOMAN
JUST TO PAY OFF A GAMBLING DEBT.
I'M GIVING YOU ANOTHER CHANCE.
WE'RE GOING TO PLAY STRIP GIN RUMMY.
IF YOU WIN, I'LL CONSIDER YOUR DEBT PAID IN FULL.
IT WAS A PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU, CATHERINE.
CONGRATULATIONS. YOU'RE A FREE WOMAN.
MOVIES REACH A HUGE AUDIENCE.
MAYBE IT COULD BE A REALLY GOOD MOVIE.
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE A GREAT TEAM.
SHAOLIN IS COMMITTED TO THE INTEGRITY OF THIS PROJECT.
DID YOU KNOW THAT I'M AN EX-DRUNK?
I SERVED YOU DINNER WITH LEMON-FLAVORED PELLEGRINO.
IT'S ABOUT KIT.
ANGUS IS CHEATING ON HER.
AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I WOULD HAVE FIRED HAZEL
IF HE HADN'T HAVE ENDED IT.
[**]
OH, SOUNDER...
AM I GOING TO ROT IN HELL?
[GASPING]
[GASPS]
[**]
* GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES *
* CHICKS DRIVING FAST INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES *
* WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE, LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE *
* THIS IS THE WAY IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* TALKING, LAUGHING LOVING, BREATHING *
* FIGHTING, FUCKING CRYING, DRINKING *
* WRITING, WINNING LOSING, CHEATING *
* KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING
* THIS IS THE WAY...
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE
* AND LOVE
I HEAR YOU'RE BUYING THE RIGHTS
TO JENNY'S NEW YORKER PIECE.
IT'S SUCH A NIGHTMARE.
REALLY?
WHY ARE YOU DOING IT, THEN?
IT'S THE HOTTEST PROPERTY
IN TOWN.
EVERYONE WANTS IT.
THAT'S WHAT I HATE ABOUT THE MOVIE BUSINESS.
WELL, SHE'S NOT VERY KIND TO YOU.
[SIGHS]
I HAVE TO KISS HER ASS
BECAUSE EVERY STUDIO IN TOWN IS BLOWING SMOKE UP IT,
AND ALL I REALLY WANT TO DO IS WRING HER NECK.
[CHUCKLES]
AND THAT CHARACTER, NINA...
IS THAT REALLY WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME?
NO.
TINA...
COME ON, JENNY'S A FICTION WRITER.
I MEAN, HER STORY IS FUNNY, AND IT'S OVER THE TOP.
THAT'S WHY PEOPLE ARE LOVING IT.
YOU'VE SAID SOME OF THOSE THINGS.
IN PAIN AND ANGER.
I MEAN, I KNOW OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS REAL.
I KNOW YOU LOVED ME,
AND IT WASN'T JUST SOME
TRIVIAL EXPERIMENT TO YOU.
[SIGHS SLOWLY]
I STILL LOVE YOU, YOU KNOW.
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
[SIGHS]
IT'S SO HARD, BETTE.
I MISS YOU SO MUCH SOMETIMES.
I MISS OUR LIFE.
I MISS THE WAY WE COMMUNICATED SUBTLY.
I MISS THE WAY THAT WE WORKED TOGETHER
TO MAKE EVERYTHING AROUND US SO BEAUTIFUL.
I MISS BEING SURROUNDED BY WOMEN,
AND FEELING PART OF SOMETHING SO SECRET AND SPECIAL.
COME HERE.
[SIGHS]
SOMETIMES I THINK I MADE A MISTAKE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT THAT WAY.
JODI...
UH, TINA, THIS IS JODI LERNER.
THIS IS TINA.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.
HI.
I'M GOING TO GET THE DIAPER BAG.
YOU'RE TEACHING HER TO SIGN.
I HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHING.
SHE JUST... STARTED DOING IT ON HER OWN.
BABIES LEARN QUICK.
SIGN LANGUAGE IS EASY FOR THEM.
YOU MUST BE SPENDING A LOT OF TIME HERE.
I DON'T WANT TO MISS MUCH.
DIDN'T YOU PAUSE IT?
WE DON'T HAVE THAT ON THIS TV.
YOU DON'T HAVE TiVo?
NO, WE DON'T HAVE TiVo.
HE ALSO DOESN'T HAVE HIS OWN ROOM.
I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON.
HEY!
HEY, BETTE!
SO, ANYWAY, ALL I WAS SAYING
IS THAT YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST WOMAN
I'VE EVER BEEN WITH.
YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST STRAIGHT GIRL I'VE BEEN WITH.
UH...
UH, "STRAIGHT GIRL"?
OH, I'M SORRY.
SHOULD I BE CALLING YOU SOMETHING DIFFERENT?
WELL, I'D RATHER NOT BE CALLED ANYTHING.
I'M...SEXUALLY FLUID.
WELL, YOU STILL HAVEN'T BEEN WITH A GIRL.
I MEAN, YOU HAVEN'T HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE.
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
WELL, I JUST...
I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK
IT WOULD BE ANY BETTER.
I DO THINK IT WOULD BE BETTER.
I MEAN, I FIND MEN PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE
BUT EMOTIONALLY RETARDED.
WELL, GIRLS ARE THE SAME WAY.
BUT LESS SO.
OH, PLEASE.
WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?
THEY'RE WORSE.
I KNOW YOU HAVE THIS...
MYTHOLOGY ABOUT YOURSELF,
BUT I'VE WATCHED YOU WITH SHAY.
YOU'RE NOT EMOTIONALLY RETARDED.
IT'S DIFFERENT WITH HIM.
WELL, IT SPEAKS VOLUMES.
LOOK, I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK
THAT I'M EXPECTING YOU TO JUMP INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME.
OKAY.
I'LL GIVE YOU, LIKE, A WEEK OR TWO.
[LAUGHING]: OH, CHRIST...
[LAUGHING]
OH, GOD, YOU ARE A DYKE.
I WAS TOTALLY WRONG.
YOU'RE MORE OF ONE THAN I AM.
JESUS...
WATCH OUT.
OOH...
MY GIRL IS HOT.
YOU LIKE IT?
SURE.
WELL, IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE SOMETHING,
I CAN GET THE GUY TO WORK ON IT
IF YOU'RE NOT HAPPY.
NO, NO POINT IN CHANGING ANYTHING NOW.
WHAT'S DONE IS DONE.
WELL, OKAY.
AS LONG AS YOU'RE HAPPY.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
HEY, WHAT'S UP, PAPI?
MM...
WHAT'S UP, GORGEOUS?
SO, WHAT YOU DOING?
I'M JUST PSYCHED ABOUT TONIGHT.
ARE YOU COMING TO THE PARTY TONIGHT?
HELL, YEAH.
MY GIRL TASHA?
HER MOM'S, LIKE, YOUR BIGGEST FAN.
AW...
WHY DON'T THEY BRING HER ON DOWN, TOO?
OH, SHE LIVES IN VIRGINIA,
BUT I'M GOING TO BUY HER A CD,
AND I'M GOING TO TRY AND GET ME
SOME OF THAT FIERCE KITTY, TOO.
AW...
WELL, TONIGHT MIGHT BE YOUR LUCKY...
NIGHT.
BRING IT ON, GIRL.
I'M GOING TO GO PICK UP THAT GUITAR.
DO YOU NEED ANYTHING?
NO.
JUST FOR YOU TO BE SINGING WITH ME
ON STAGE TONIGHT.
THAT'S ALL.
YOU KNOW, SOMEBODY STOLE HIS GUITAR FROM MY OFFICE.
OH.
FUCKIN' BUMMER, RIGHT?
[IN SURFER VOICE]: YEAH, FUCKING BUMMER, DUDE.
ROCK ON, SISTERS.
ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME
WHEN YOU'RE READY TO DROP THAT BOY?
HMM?
YOU KNOW, I...
I DON'T KNOW HOW...
TO DO THIS.
YOU KNOW?
AND I CAN'T...
I CAN'T, UM...
[SIGHS]
[WHISPERING]: YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.
AND I'M...
SO INTO YOU...
AND I CAN'T HANDLE IT.
AND I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY
WHEN I KNOW
YOU'RE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE.
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
I DON'T KNOW.
[SIGHS]
NO, GOD...
NO, NO.
JESUS, IT FEELS LIKE FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL.
NO.
JUST... YOU KNOW WHAT?
THE TRUTH IS,
I'M JUST NOT AS EVOLVED AS YOU.
WHAT?
OKAY.
I TRIED...
TO TELL MYSELF
THAT I COULD HANDLE IT,
BUT WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU
WITH...
WHOEVER, I...
I GET JEALOUS.
I DO, I GET JEALOUS,
AND I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT PERSON.
I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT PERSON.
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
SO HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT OURCHART?
I WAS LOOKING FOR MUSIC.
I WAS IN A DANCE ENSEMBLE UP IN BERKELEY.
WE WERE CALLED "HOMO ERECT US."
[BOTH GIGGLING]
WELL, IT'S A REALLY COOL PAGE.
I MEAN, YOU DID A REALLY GOOD JOB ON IT, YOU KNOW?
THANKS.
THE TOOLS ARE KIND OF RUDIMENTARY, SO...
YEAH, I KNOW.
BUT WE'RE GOING TO SERIOUSLY UPGRADE SOON.
IT'S JUST-- I HAVE THIS DAY JOB, YOU KNOW,
AND THEY'VE BEEN KIND OF POLICING ME AND STUFF,
SO I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE
WHO CAN HELP WITH MAINTENANCE AND CONTENT.
STUFF LIKE THAT.
I'M A TOTAL GEEK.
WHEN I LIVED IN THE BAY AREA,
I FLOATED FOR A BUNCH OF INFO TECH COMPANIES.
COOL.
SO, WHY'D YOU MOVE TO L.A.?
I GET MORE WORK AS A DANCER.
A LOT OF MUSIC VIDEOS SHOOT HERE.
BUT I MISS SAN FRANCISCO.
THERE ARE PRETTY MUCH NO BUTCH WOMEN IN L.A.
YOU THINK SO?
WELL, NO CULTURE, NO COMMUNITY.
EVERYONE'S ALL INTO HIGH FASHION.
FEMALE MASCULINITY ISN'T CELEBRATED HERE.
YEAH, I GUESS IT'S NOT, REALLY.
IS THAT WHY YOU BECAME A MAN?
WHY I BECAME A MAN...
NO, I AM A MAN, INTRINSICALLY, YOU KNOW?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU.
THERE ARE A LOT OF REASONS WHY PEOPLE TRANSITION,
AND THEY'RE ALL LEGITIMATE, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.
[MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY]
ANYWAY, I LOVE THE SITE.
WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY, REALLY, THOUGH.
HEY, I KNOW.
YOU SAID AN INTERN.
ALICE IS...
YOU KNOW, SHE'S DRAWING UP A BUSINESS PLAN,
AND WE'RE HOPING TO GET INVESTORS,
BUT WE'LL SEE.
I'D LIKE TO WORK WITH YOU, MAX.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY.
COOL.
[CARTOON PLAYING ON TV]
[KIDS GIGGLING]
UM...
YEAH.
THAT'S GREAT, THANK YOU.
IF YOU COULD JUST PUT THAT ON THE ROOM.
SO DO YOU LITTLE ONES
WANT ANYTHING FROM ROOM SERVICE?
NO, I'M GOOD. AN ICE CREAM SUNDAE?
AND SOME TIRAMISU?
ABSOLUTELY.
OOH...
YOU KNOW,
I'VE ONLY GOT THEM FOR THE WEEKEND,
WHILE WINNIE'S ON RETREAT AT YADDO,
BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW PEOPLE COPE
WITHOUT A NANNY.
HELENA, ARE YOU REALLY
GOING TO GET THEM TIRAMISU
AND BANANA SPLITS?
WELL...YEAH.
WHY NOT?
WELL, I MEAN, WHO'S PAYING FOR THIS?
CATHERINE?
DOES SHE EVEN KNOW YOUR KIDS ARE HERE?
WELL...
YEAH, I MEAN, I DID TELL HER.
ANYWAY, CATHERINE'S IN MALLORCA.
BY THE TIME SHE GETS BACK, I'LL HAVE DOUBLED MY WINNINGS.
YOU KNOW, SHE STAKED ME IN A GAME LAST WEEK.
I WON $50,000.
JESUS!
I KNOW. I'M GOOD AT THIS, ALICE.
YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN GOOD AT MATHS.
CATHERINE THINKS I SHOULD EVEN GO PRO.
HELENA, I DON'T KNOW.
THIS WHOLE THING IS REALLY WEIRD.
YOU KNOW, I MEAN, DOES SHE LIVE HERE?
LIKE, DOES SHE EVEN HAVE A HOUSE?
AND WHY IS SHE...
LIKE, WHAT IS SHE EXPECTING?
WHAT DOES SHE WANT FROM YOU?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW, IT'S JUST...
IT'S QUITE NORMAL.
IT'S WHAT RICH PEOPLE DO, YOU KNOW?
RICH PEOPLE WHO TRAVEL.
AND I TELL YOU, CATHERINE IS THE ONLY ONE
WHO'S REALLY STOOD BY ME--
I HATE THE FUCKING MIDWEST!
THEY'RE ALL SUCH WIMPS.
CATHERINE, HI.
I NEVER MADE IT TO MALLORCA.
I GOT AS FAR AS MILWAUKEE.
GODDAMN PIG FARMERS BACKED OUT OF THE DEAL.
THE ONLY SAVING GRACE
IS THAT THERE'S A BIGGER GAME
NEXT FRIDAY.
I JUST HAVE TO RAISE THE DIFFERENCE.
CAN YOU GET THEM TO TURN THAT DOWN?
YES, OF COURSE. YES.
I SHOULD GO.
I NEED YOU TO STAY.
JUST A WHILE LONGER
WHILE WE GO DOWNSTAIRS.
IN FACT, ARE YOU BOOKED THIS EVENING?
CATHERINE, ACTUALLY, UM...
THIS IS MY FRIEND ALICE.
YOU MET HER AT THE POKER.
SHE'S... YEAH.
SHE'S NOT THE BABYSITTER.
NOT THE BABYSITTER.
OF COURSE, ALICE.
ALICE, ALICE.
STAY FOR LUNCH.
WE'LL ALL GO DOWNSTAIRS TO THE POOL.
CAN WE GO SWIMMING, MOMMY?
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
THEY CAN SWIM WHILE WE EAT.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO DO.
SO MANY THINGS.
SO, THANK YOU, THOUGH...
AND IT WAS VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
AGAIN.
'CAUSE WE HAD... MET.
GREAT. I WILL SEE YOU LATER.
ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
THANKS FOR COMING BY.
GUYS...
BYE.
WE NEED A BABYSITTER TONIGHT.
DO YOU HAVE ONE?
OH, UM...
CATHERINE, I WASN'T REALLY EXPECTING YOU BACK.
TONIGHT, I MEAN.
DO YOU NEED US TO GET ANOTHER PLACE TO STAY?
NO.
THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM FOR YOUR BRATS.
LOOK, I'M SURE THE HOTEL
CAN FIND A SITTER FOR US.
YEAH, BUT ACTUALLY, I DO HAVE PLANS.
YOU SEE, I MEAN, I WANT TO BE WITH MY CHILDREN.
I'M EVEN MISSING MY FRIEND'S RECORD RELEASE PARTY TONIGHT
SO THAT I CAN BE WITH THEM, AND--
WE'RE PLAYING POKER.
IT'S A $50,000 BUY-IN.
AH...
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
HEY...
COME ON IN, COME ON IN.
THANKS, THANKS.
UH...
SHAY'S IN THE BEDROOM WATCHING MR. MEATY.
SHANE, THIS IS DIERDRE.
CAN I GO WATCH WITH THEM? I LOVE MR. MEATY.
[LAUGHING]: SURE, SURE.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST MAKE SURE
YOU GIVE THEM DINNER BY 7:00.
UH, YEAH, THERE'S PIZZAS AND ICE CREAM
IN THE FREEZER.
WHAT IF THEY FALL ASLEEP
ON YOUR BED?
[WHISPERING]: WHO'S THAT?
SHE'S THE BABYSITTER.
SHE'S FINE.
WELL, UH...
IF THEY FALL ASLEEP ON MY BED,
I'LL SLEEP ON THE COUCH.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
HONEY, YOU REALLY NEED TO GET YOUR OWN PLACE.
I KNOW,
AND I'M LOOKING FOR ONE, I PROMISE.
GREAT.
YOU LOOK GOOD.
THANK YOU.
SO DO YOU.
SHOULD WE, UM, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE?
ARE YOU SURE?
SHE'S FINE.
SHE'S BEEN BABYSITTING FOR HIM FOR YEARS.
LET'S GO.
THAT'S TERRIFYING.
HI.
HEY...
THAT'S SO SWEET.
SWEET?
AND SO CUTE.
SO TRADITIONAL.
OH, SHIT.
OH, DON'T BE EMBARRASSED.
I LOVE THAT YOU'RE OLD-FASHIONED.
OKAY.
WELL, WOULD IT BE OLD-FASHIONED OF ME
TO ASK MISS PORTER TO SIGN THIS
FOR MY MOM?
WELL, ONLY IF YOU CALL HER MISS PORTER.
[LAUGHS]
YOU KNOW WHAT I COULD DO.
I COULD HAVE HER CALL YOUR MOM.
SHOULD WE HAVE KIT CALL HER ON THE PHONE?
OH, NO, NO, NO, SHE'D FREAK OUT.
JUST SIGNING IT, THAT'LL BE COOL.
YEAH, OF COURSE.
[**]
[SIGHS]
NOBODY'S HERE.
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT'S, UM...
IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF EARLY.
KIND OF EMPTY.
SO, WHAT DO YOU, UM...
THINK WE SHOULD DO?
[CHUCKLING]
GOD, WHERE ARE WE?
WE'RE HOME, DARLING.
* TRANSFORMATION
* RUST TO DUST US TO THEM *
* OOH
* CHANGE YOUR MIND CHANGE YOUR SKIN *
* OOH
YOU SEEM CRAZY ABOUT HER.
WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?
JUST THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT HER.
[CHUCKLES]
THAT LOOK. I KNOW THAT LOOK.
YOU USED TO LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT BACK IN THE DAY.
[SIGHS]
ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HER?
OH, GOD, TINA, I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK YOU ARE.
IT'S WAY TOO SOON.
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.
WHY ISN'T SHE HERE?
SHE'S DEAF.
OH.
OF COURSE. I'M SORRY.
WHY ISN'T HENRY HERE?
OH, HE'S, UH...
PHEW, I DON'T KNOW,
CLUELESS.
[LAUGHS]
OF COURSE. I'M SORRY.
WELL...
WAITER, CAN I HAVE A...
HAVE ANOTHER?
WELL, I CAN'T BLAME YOU FOR GLOATING.
I'M-- I'M NOT GLOATING.
I MEAN, REALLY, THE REAL REASON THAT JODI ISN'T HERE
IS BECAUSE SHE HAS A--
HELLO.
HI.
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD.
HI, TINA.
I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.
IT'S LOOKING GOOD.
GREAT.
OH, WHAT'S LOOKING GOOD FOR TINA?
OH, TINA'S COMPANY IS TRYING TO BUY THE MOVIE RIGHTS
TO MY BOOK.
MM.
SO MY AGENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO
BE HERE SOON,
AND THEY SAID THERE'S THREE OFFERS ON THE TABLE,
AND YOU'RE IN THE RUNNING,
SO I'D LIKE YOU TO TALK TO THEM TONIGHT.
WHAT ARE THE ISSUES?
UM, I'M SORRY, I DON'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT,
BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHY WOULDN'T YOU JUST CHOOSE TINA
OVER THE OTHER BUYERS?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, FIRST OF ALL, SHE'S YOUR FRIEND,
AND IF ALL THE OFFERS ARE IN THE SAME BALLPARK,
I THINK IT SHOULD JUST BE AUTOMATIC.
BECAUSE SHE'S MY FRIEND?
ABSOLUTELY.
OKAY, SO,
IF I WANTED A TEACHING POSITION
AT YOUR UNIVERSITY,
WOULD YOU AUTOMATICALLY HIRE ME BECAUSE I'M YOUR FRIEND?
IF I WERE THE DEAN OF THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT.
[LAUGHS]
BETTE...
HI.
UM, MY AGENTS ARE HERE.
TINA?
MM-HMM?
YOU SHOULD GO TALK TO THEM IF YOU WANT TO DO THIS.
OKAY?
BYE.
CAN'T WAIT.
THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
THANK YOU.
[SIGHS]
I JUST THINK IT SHOULD BE AUTOMATIC.
I MEAN, IS THAT CRAZY?
I JUST THINK IT SHOULD BE AUTOMATIC.
THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS
I LOVE ABOUT YOU.
WHAT, THAT I'M A... BOMBASTIC BULLY?
THAT YOU'RE LOYAL
AND UNSWERVING IN YOUR CONVICTIONS.
[SIGHS]
[PANTING AND MOANING]
[GASPING AND SIGHING]
IS THAT TOO MUCH?
NO.
IS THIS GOOD?
MORE. MORE.
[CRIES OUT]
WHAT? WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?
ARE YOU HURT?
NO, IT'S JUST...
THE SEATBELT IS UP MY ASS.
OH, SHIT.
WHERE'D IT GO?
THERE.
THEY DON'T MAKE CARS LIKE THIS ANYMORE.
PUT YOUR FINGERS INSIDE ME.
PLEASE.
[GASPING AND MOANING]
[HORN HONKS]
YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS FANTASTIC.
I FEEL LIKE I'M REALLY THERE
IN "LEZ GIRLS."
YOU REALLY CAPTURED IT, BABE.
LADIES...
GOOD TO SEE YOU, BETTE.
DID YOU SEE THE PETTIBON OPENING AT THE REGEN PROJECTS?
ACTUALLY, I WAS OUT OF TOWN,
BUT I HEARD IT WAS A SPECTACULAR SHOW.
I BOUGHT TWO DRAWINGS.
I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED.
[LAUGHING]
BETTE AND I HAVE A COUPLE OF PETTIBONS.
OH. OH, ARE-- ARE YOU TWO...
NO, NOT ANYMORE,
BUT WE BOUGHT THEM WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER.
HI, LADIES.
OH, HEY.
HEY.
HEY, GUYS.
HEY. IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
OH, YEAH.
SHE'S JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS.
SHE'LL BE OUT SOON.
EVERYBODY GOT EVERYTHING THEY NEED?
YEAH, WE'RE GOOD.
GREAT, YEAH, THANK YOU.
EXCELLENT.
THANKS, ANGUS.
SO, TINA, UM,
BACK TO WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.
THANK YOU.
BEAUTIFUL PROPOSAL YOU SUBMITTED,
AND WE'RE CONSIDERING IT,
BUT FOX SEARCHLIGHT HAS A TRACK RECORD
FOR AWARD-WINNING INDEPENDENT FEATURES.
YEAH, FOX SEARCHLIGHT IS FANTASTIC,
BUT I'VE TALKED TO JENNY
AND I'VE ALREADY TOLD HER HOW COMMITTED I AM
TO THE INTEGRITY OF HER PROJECT.
I KNOW, BUT TINA,
AT THE END OF THE DAY,
THE PROJECT'S GOING TO BE OUT OF YOUR HANDS.
BUT-- I DON'T--
I'M SORRY.
BUT I DON'T THINK, UM...
THAT MAYBE YOU'RE AWARE
OF THE KINDS OF MOVIES
THAT TINA'S BEEN INVOLVED WITH
DURING THE COURSE OF HER CAREER.
I MEAN, SHE TURNED SOFIA COPPOLA ONTO THE VIRGIN SUICIDES.
OH, REALLY?
MICHEL GONDRY HAS THANKED HER
IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HIS ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES...
AND FRANKLY,
SHE'S ONE OF THE BEST EXECUTIVES
YOU'LL EVER WORK WITH...
NOT TO MENTION THE MOST HONEST.
WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?
UM, A MOVIE DEAL, I THINK.
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU KNOW,
YOU TWO ARE SO FUCKING HOT,
AND...
YOU KNOW, I'M INTO THAT, AND...
JUST MAKE THE CALL.
WHAT?
[SCOFFS]
WHAT?
YOU SEE CHUBSTER OVER THERE
IN THE TOUPEE?
LAST WEEK HE LIMPS IN AT ABOUT MIDNIGHT.
I'M ON THE BUTTON.
HE RAISES SIX TIMES THE BIG BLIND.
NOW, THESE ARE FAIRLY LOOSE
AND AGGRESSIVE TABLES.
SO HE'S THE MARK.
VERY GOOD.
SO YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN THE FLOP COMES
AND THE FAT MAN GOES ALL IN.
MAKE HIM THINK HE STANDS A CHANCE.
THAT'S MY GIRL.
[MAN WHISTLES]
YOU HAVE A TALENT FOR THE GAME, HELENA.
WE MAKE A GREAT TEAM.
[PANTING AND MOANING]
[GASPING]
I WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU.
THE CHILDREN...
WHAT WOULD THE CHILDREN SAY?
[LAUGHING]
[GASPING]
DO YOU LIKE THAT?
UH-HUH.
20,000.
OH...
20,000...
[LAUGHS COYLY]
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GOING TO RAISE YOU.
[LAUGHS]
SORRY.
OKAY...
[EXHALES]
FOLD.
[SIGHS]
CHEERS.
HEY, ALICE, THIS IS GRACE,
THE NEW INTERN.
HEY, GRACE, IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
MAX TELLS ME YOU'RE A REAL WHIZ.
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.
I LOVE YOUR SITE.
AH, THANKS.
AND I LIKE YOUR T-SHIRT.
OH, LET ME SEE.
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
[LAUGHING]
I SAW ONE YESTERDAY.
IT SAID, "WAGING WAR TO STOP TERRORISM
"IS LIKE PUTTING OUT A FIRE
WITH GASOLINE."
[TINA]: OH, WAIT, I SAW ONE.
UH, "KILL ONE, AND IT'S MURDER,
KILL THOUSANDS, AND IT'S FOREIGN POLICY."
OH, RIGHT, I'VE SEEN THAT ONE.
OR "WE'RE KILLING PEOPLE FASTER THAN WE'RE MAKING ENEMIES."
"AMERICA, WAKE UP
AND SMELL THE CATASTROPHE."
[LAUGHING]
I LIKE "GOD DOESN'T TAKE SIDES IN WAR."
THAT'S A GOOD ONE....
OH, FUCK.
I'M SORRY.
SORRY.
ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS,
DOING HER NEW SINGLE, "BAREBACK,"
COMING OUT SOON ON FIERCE KITTY RECORDS,
LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR KIT PORTER.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
WE FINALLY GOT YOU INTO THE PLANET.
[**]
* I LIKE THE WAY YOU WALK *
* I LIKE THE WAY YOU WALK
* WHEN YOU WALK TO ME
YEAH!
* I LIKE THE WAY YOU MOVE *
* LIKE THE WAY YOU MM-HMM *
* WHEN YOU MOVE WITH ME
* I WANNA FEEL YOU THROUGH
* MY MIND'S MADE UP ON YOU *
* WANT NOTHING IN BETWEEN
* JUST LET ME MAKE YOU SCREAM
* I WANNA RIDE WITH YOU
WHOO!
[**]
* BAREBACK
* WANNA DO YOU WANNA TAKE YOU *
* BAREBACK
* WANNA LOVE YOU GOTTA MAKE YOU KNOW ME *
* CAN'T DO THIS WITH ANYONE BUT YOU, THIS... *
* BAREBACK LOVIN'
* PUSHIN' ME AND SHOVIN'
* INTO LOVE, LOVE, LOVE...
YOU MOTHERFUCKIN' LIAR!
FUCK YOU-- YOU-- YOU-
YOU LYIN', LOW-DOWN, NANNY-FUCKIN' MOTHERFUCKER!
WHO DO YOU THINK I AM,
SOME MOTHERFUCKING CHUMP?
FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!
GODDAMN YOU!
GET OUT OF MY FUCKIN' LIFE, MOTHERFUCKER.
SHIT.
[CROWD MURMURING]
[KNOCKING]
KIT?
GO AWAY!
COME ON, OPEN THE DOOR.
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
JUST...
PLEASE, JUST LET ME TALK TO YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU!
JUST GO ON. DO WHAT SHE SAYS.
I'LL TRY.
[KNOCKS SOFTLY]
KIT... KIT, IT'S ME.
HE'S GONE.
FUCK YOU.
EXCUSE ME?
[SNIFFLING]
TALK TO ME.
YOU PROTECTED HIM.
YOU PROTECTED HIM WHEN YOU KNEW
HE WAS LYING AND CHEATING.
KIT, I WASN'T PROTECTING HIM.
I WAS PROTECTING YOU.
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT.
THAT'S WHAT I TOLD HIM.
I TOLD HIM THAT HE SHOULD BREAK IT OFF...
YOU TOLD HIM?
I'M SORRY.
[DOOR SLAMS]
KIT, I'M SO SORRY.
PAPI, COME ON.
GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I AM DONE WITH MOTHERFUCKIN' MEN.
GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE.
COME ON.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
COME ON, GIRL.
USUALLY I'D LEAVE IT ON BANKROLL,
BUT WE NEED IT
WHEN WE GET TO MALLORCA.
WE?
I'M NOT GOING TO MALLORCA, AM I?
[LAUGHS]
IF YOU MAKE IT WORTH MY WHILE.
BABE...
IT'S MORE LIKE
IF YOU MAKE IT WORTH MY WHILE.
EXCELLENT.
LOOK, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE THAT UPSET.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME UP,
AND WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO TALK ABOUT?
ALL THAT SHIT YOU PEOPLE ARE SPOUTING
ON T-SHIRTS?
WEARING SLOGANS,
WHILE OTHER PEOPLE ARE WEARING ARMOR.
OH, YEAH, WHAT'S SO GREAT
ABOUT WEARING ARMOR?
YOU AND I LIVE IN DIFFERENT WORLDS, ALICE.
YEAH.
I LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THINGS.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE OFF YOUR ARMOR
AND JUST COME UPSTAIRS.
JESUS...
[SIGHS]
I'M NOT--
YOU'RE COMING IN.
I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO LIKE THIS.
OH, YEAH?
YEAH.
YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS UPSTAIRS.
AH...
[**]
GIRL, YOU'RE ABOUT TO TRY
THE BEST MOJITO YOU'VE EVER HAD
IN YOUR LIFE.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
MMM!
IT'S GOOD, RIGHT?
MM-HMM.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
WE CAN COME BACK. WE CAN COME BACK.
[LAUGHS]
LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE TREATED LIKE A LADY.
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
THOSE PEOPLE ARE SO IGNORANT.
IT MAKES ME INSANE.
WELL, THEY'RE NOT MY PEOPLE.
THEY'RE JENNY'S AGENTS.
YEAH?
WELL, WHAT ABOUT THAT GIRL?
SHE WORKS FOR YOU.
GRACE?
WELL, YEAH, BUT YOU SAW.
I WAS INTRODUCED TO HER
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
OH, COME ON, ALICE, STOP FRONTING, OKAY?
THAT'S YOUR WORLD.
YOU WERE RIGHT IN THERE WITH THEM
WITH ALL THEIR KNEE-JERK LIBERAL BULLSHIT.
YEAH, BUT THAT'S AMERICA.
IT'S SUPPOSEDLY WHAT YOU'RE FIGHTING FOR.
IT'S A LITTLE THING CALLED FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
REMEMBER?
YEAH, I REMEMBER.
IT'S SOMETHING IRAQ COULDN'T EVEN DREAM OF
UNTIL WE CAME IN.
OH, PLEASE...
OKAY, YEAH, NOW THEY HAVE THE FREEDOM TO STARVE,
AND THE FREEDOM TO BE BLOWN UP EVERY DAY?
WE BUILT HOSPITALS, SCHOOLS, ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS.
WE PUT IN PUBLIC SEWER SYSTEMS--
FINE!
OKAY, BUT HOW MUCH OF THAT WAS DESTROYED BY US
IN THE FIRST PLACE?
IT'S ALL BECAUSE BUSH NEEDS HIS OIL,
AND BECAUSE HALLIBURTON NEEDS TO PROTECT THEIR INVESTMENTS.
I MEAN, GOD KNOWS WHO ELSE IS MAKING MONEY
FROM THIS FUCKING WAR.
THE SOLDIERS I KNOW WENT BECAUSE WE HAD TO,
AND WE TRIED TO DO THE BEST THAT WE COULD,
AND YEAH, OKAY, I KNOW SOME OF IT'S A MESS,
BUT I'M PROUD OF THE SOLDIERS THAT I SERVED WITH,
AND I'M SO TIRED OF PEOPLE TALKING SHIT
WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE
TO BE IN IT.
WELL, THEN TELL ME WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE IN IT.
[**]
OH, YEAH!
AH!
YEAH!
[LAUGHING]
DID HE SEE IT?
OH, MY GOD. SHH...
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I HAVE TO CHECK ON THE CHILDREN.
THEY'RE FINE.
YEAH, BUT--
THEY'RE FINE.
CATHERINE, I--
UP, UP.
WHOA.
SHOW ME THE MONEY.
[GASPING]
[**]
YEAH, SOME OF THEM ARE POOR KIDS WHO ARE OVER THERE
BECAUSE BACK WHERE THEY COME FROM
NOBODY'S GIVING THEM A CHANCE.
RIGHT, AND WE TREAT THEM LIKE SECOND-CLASS CITIZENS,
AND THEN WE EXPECT THEM TO DIE
SO SOME RICH GUY CAN GET RICHER...
AND THEN THE KIDS IN THE GHETTO, PLEASE--
WHAT, YOU THINK I COME FROM THE FUCKING GHETTO?
I DIDN'T SAY YOU.
YOU KNOW, SOME OF THE PEOPLE ARE IN THE MILITARY
BECAUSE THEY WANT TO SERVE THEIR COUNTRY, OKAY?
WE BELIEVE IN WHAT WE STAND FOR.
I'M SORRY IF WE DON'T LIVE OUR LIVES
WEARING TRENDY FAKE-ASS RAGGEDY T-SHIRTS
THAT SCREAM OUT BULLSHIT ABOUT "WHY DO WE KILL PEOPLE?"
YOU THINK IT'S TRENDY TO NOT WANT TO KILL PEOPLE?
THE SOLDIERS THAT I SERVED WITH
DON'T WANT TO KILL PEOPLE!
LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK?
DO YOU THINK I WANT TO KILL PEOPLE?
WELL, WHY ARE YOU THERE?
THE QUESTION IS, WHY THE FUCK AM I HERE?
BECAUSE WE WANT TO FUCK EACH OTHER!
[**]
* YOU KNOW I'M JUST ANOTHER SOLDIER *
* IN THE ARMY OF LOVE
* I'M JUST ANOTHER SOLDIER
* IN THE ARMY OF LOVE
* HUP, TWO, THREE, FOUR
* CRYIN' SOMETIMES AS I GO *
* I'M JUST ANOTHER SOLDIER
* IN THE ARMY OF LOVE
* NOW, HATE IS MY ENEMY
* I GOT TO FIGHT IT DAY AND NIGHT *
* LOVE IS THE ONLY WEAPON WITH WHICH I... *
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
TAKING THIS SHIT TO THE FUCKING BEDROOM.
RIGHT ON.
* ...FOR MY FELLOW MAN
* AND ONE DAY I'LL HOLD
* THE VICTORY IN MY HAND
* THAT'S WHY I'M JUST ANOTHER SOLDIER *
* IN THE ARMY OF LOVE
* I'M JUST ANOTHER SOLDIER
* IN THE ARMY OF LOVE
* HUP, TWO, THREE, FOUR
* CRYIN' SOMETIMES AS I GO *
* BUT I'M JUST ANOTHER SOLDIER
* IN THE ARMY OF LOVE
* NOW, MARTIN, JOHN AND BOBBY *
* ONCE FOUGHT HERE BY MY SIDE *
* BUT THE CAPTAIN CALLED THEM TO THAT *
* COMMAND POST IN THE SKY
* THIS ARMY IS YOUR FRIEND...
[PANTING]
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT RECRUITMENT.
LIKE, I REALLY GET THAT,
BUT I JUST FEEL LIKE--
SHUT UP AND LET ME FUCK YOU.
OKAY.
* ...IN THIS ARMY OF LOVE
* I TELL YA I'M JUST A... *
WHERE WE AT?
YOU SAID YOU WANTED ME TO TAKE YOU HOME.
OH, YEAH,
'CAUSE YOU SAID
YOU WERE GOING TO TREAT ME
LIKE A LADY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
[MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY]
* SAW YOUR FACE
* AND I NOTICED A CHANGE IN YOUR EYES *
* YOU'VE GROWN TIRED OF ALL THE LIES *
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
GET THAT OFF YOU.
FUCK ME SO...
FUCK ME SO I FORGET.
YOU WITH ME, BEAUTIFUL?
ALL RIGHT.
YOU HAVE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK, PRINCESS.
LET'S PUT YOU TO BED.
[**]
YOU KNOW,
I THINK IF DICK CHENEY DIDN'T HAVE INVESTMENTS
IN IRAQI OIL,
THAT I DON'T KNOW IF BUSH REALLY WOULD HAVE--
[GROANING]
SHUT UP.
PLEASE.
OKAY? YOUR BUSH IS THE ONLY BUSH
I WANT TO THINK ABOUT RIGHT NOW.
[LAUGHING]: NO...
YES.
SAY THAT.IDN'T YES.
OH, NO.
YES.
[SIGHS]
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT TIME IT IS?
UH, YEAH, THAT'S 23 MINUTES TO GO.
TWO MINUTES LESS
THAN WHEN THERE WERE 25 MINUTES.
YOU'RE GOING TO GET A TIME-OUT.
OH, I LIKE THAT.
NO, IT'S JUST CUTE.
YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS.
I'M NOT NERVOUS.
JUST A LITTLE BIT.
NO, I'M NOT.
HEY, SHAY, DID YOU GUYS CHOOSE BOARDS OUT?
YEAH, WE BOTH LIKE THE DARKSTARS.
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
WE'RE JUST GOING TO GO PRACTICE
OUT ON THE HALF-PIPE.
YEAH, HELMETS.
HELMETS, HELMETS, HELMETS.
THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT.
EVERYONE WEARS HELMETS TODAY.
IT'S YOUR JOB, ALL RIGHT, KID?
OKAY.
BABY, WHERE YOU GOIN'?
HOME.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'RE AT?
[SIGHS]
UM...
Y-YOUR PLACE?
YEAH, WHICH IS IN ECHO PARK.
LET ME DRIVE YOU HOME.
DID WE...
[LAUGHS]
LOOK, I COULD NEVER TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A LADY
IN A COMPROMISED SITUATION.
YOU MEAN, I DIDN'T MAKE THE CHART?
THE CHART?
YOU MEAN, I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE MOTHERFUCKIN' CHART?
[SIGHS]
OKAY, THAT'S NOT TOO TIGHT, IS IT?
NO.
NO?
THEN YOU'RE GOOD TO GO, MISS.
OKAY, THANKS.
BUT YEAH, EVERYTHING THAT I'M SEEING THESE DAYS
IS EITHER DIRTY OR DINGY,
AND DARK AND DISGUSTING, AND--
OH, I KNOW, I KNOW,
AND WHAT ABOUT OUTDOOR SPACE?
I MEAN, DON'T YOU WANT SOMETHING WITH...
I DON'T KNOW, A COURTYARD
OR A GARDEN OR SOMETHING?
WELL, YEAH, IDEALISTICALLY,
I'D LOVE OUTDOOR SPACE,
BUT REALISTICALLY, I CAN'T REALLY AFFORD IT.
WELL, YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE JUST PREPARED
TO GO A LITTLE BIT FURTHER EAST,
IT'S TOTALLY POSSIBLE.
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT SILVERLAKE?
WELL, I'M NOT AGAINST SILVERLAKE.
I HAVE A REALLY BEAUTIFUL
THREE-PLUS-TWO IN A FOURPLEX.
IT'S JUST ABOVE THE RESERVOIR.
IT'S GOT, LIKE, A TERRACE OFF THE MASTER BEDROOM,
IT'S GOT ITS OWN LITTLE BACKYARD...
REALLY?
MM-HMM. IT'S A TINY BIT MORE
THAN WHAT YOU WANT TO SPEND,
BUT I BET YOU I COULD GET THEM
FOR YOU.DOWN YOU COULD?
I THINK SO. DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL?
WOULD YOU?
YEAH, I'LL CALL THEM TODAY.
I'D APPRECIATE THAT.
YEAH, NO PROBLEM. LET ME KNOW.
[SKATEBOARDERS CHEER]
WHAT'S THAT?
CREAM.
HEAVY CREAM?
CLOTTED CREAM.
DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT.
OH, PLEASE.
THAT'S SOME WHITE GIRL SHIT.
[LAUGHS]
OH, DAMN, THAT'S GOOD.
IT'S THE SALTY SEEDS WITH THE SWEET CREAM.
MMM...
OH, SORRY.
[LAUGHING]
I'M SO SORRY.
MMM...
YOU DESIGNED THESE YOURSELF?
THEY'RE SUPER CUTE.
NO, NO, NO,
WE HAVE A FEW OF GUYS WHO DO IT FOR US.
DO YOU SELL THEM ANYPLACE ELSE?
I'LL BET THEY'D BE REALLY POPULAR
IF YOU WANTED TO MASS-MARKET THEM.
THAT'S WHAT I KEEP TELLING HER.
OH, NO, RIGHT NOW, YOU CAN JUST GET IT
THROUGH THE STORE AND THE WEBSITE.
IT'S EASY.
HEY, SHANE.
YES, SIR?
UM, CAN I GO TO CARLOS' BIRTHDAY PARTY NEXT WEEKEND,
AT GO-KART WORLD?
THAT'S IN CARSON.
IT'S A GREAT PLACE FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY.
KIDS LOVE IT.
SAY PLEASE.
PLEASE?
ONE MORE TIME.
PLEASE?
MM... OKAY, FINE.
NEXT WEEKEND? YEAH.
IT'S A DATE. YOU GOT IT.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE QUITE WELCOME.
YEAH, 'CAUSE I REALLY THINK
YOU COULD SELL THESE AT FRED SEGAL,
AND IT WOULDN'T TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM WAX.
ABSOLUTELY, YEAH.
IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
I MEAN, THIS WOULD LOOK GREAT ON YOU.
I THINK SO.
TRY THAT ON?
UM...
I'M SORRY. EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND.
SHAY?
WHAT'S WRONG?
HUH?
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
DAD!
HOW'S MY LITTLE MAN, HUH?
[MURMURS]
YEAH?
* I CAN FEEL MYSELF FALLING
* I'M FALLING
* AND I CAN FEEL MYSELF FALLING *
* FALLING APART
* I DON'T WANT TO FALL ANY MORE, NO *
* I CAN FEEL MYSELF FALLING
* I'M FALLING
[**]
YEAH.