1 00:00:10,233 --> 00:00:11,967 PREVIOUSLY ON THE L-WORD... TOMORROW NIGHT 2 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,667 THERE'S GOING TO BE YOU EVERYWHERE. 3 00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:15,067 YOU'RE OUR NEWEST "IT" GIRL! 4 00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:16,533 I THINK YOU'RE AN AMAZING WOMAN-- 5 00:00:16,567 --> 00:00:18,033 STOP BEFORE YOU GET TO THE "BUT". 6 00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:19,233 I'M GOING TO BREAK IT OFF WITH HAZEL. 7 00:00:19,267 --> 00:00:20,433 I MEAN, THAT'S A GIVEN, 8 00:00:20,467 --> 00:00:21,967 AND I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO TELL KIT. 9 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,600 WHY, SO YOU CAN BREAK HER HEART AND DESTROY HER TRUST IN YOU? 10 00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:24,600 MEGAN REED MADE A COMPLAINT 11 00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:25,867 AND IS THINKING ABOUT SUING MITCH. 12 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,200 SHE'S A STUPID BITCH. 13 00:00:27,233 --> 00:00:28,233 MITCH DOESN'T SUPPORT WOMEN. 14 00:00:28,267 --> 00:00:29,267 WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? 15 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:30,800 BECAUSE HE DID IT TO ME. 16 00:00:30,833 --> 00:00:31,633 SO WHAT'S THE VERDICT? 17 00:00:31,667 --> 00:00:33,200 I'M FEELING LUCKY TONIGHT. 18 00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,467 $50,000? 19 00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:35,133 YEAH, THAT'S WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR. 20 00:00:35,167 --> 00:00:36,033 [CHIPS FALLING] 21 00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:37,033 BUT DON'T WORRY. THERE'S MORE THAN 22 00:00:37,067 --> 00:00:38,200 ONE WAY TO PAY OFF A DEBT. 23 00:00:40,133 --> 00:00:41,633 I AM SO CRAZY ABOUT YOU. 24 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,067 THIS IS JENNIFER- FUCKING-SCHECTER, 25 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:44,367 THE LUNATIC WHOSE BOOK I REVIEWED. 26 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:45,700 SOUNDER? 27 00:00:45,733 --> 00:00:46,833 THAT'S NOT MY DOG. 28 00:00:46,867 --> 00:00:48,967 I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 29 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,933 ME AND TINA, WE HAVE A BABY. 30 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,033 I DON'T LIKE KIDS. I DON'T. 31 00:00:52,067 --> 00:00:53,567 [WAITER]: CAN I GET YOU LADIES ANYTHING ELSE? 32 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,100 NO, JUST THE CHECK. THANKS. 33 00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:58,433 CAN WE TRY AGAIN? 34 00:00:58,467 --> 00:00:59,567 YOU'RE IN THE ARMY? 35 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:00,667 YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? 36 00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,300 SO YOU LIKE GIRLIE-GIRLS, HUH? 37 00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:03,867 I DON'T WANT IT TO END, ALICE. 38 00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:05,267 I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU. 39 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:06,300 PHYLLIS? 40 00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:07,267 I TOLD LEONARD ABOUT US. 41 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:09,533 I TOLD HIM I WANTED A DIVORCE. 42 00:01:41,967 --> 00:01:43,100 [GUNS FIRING] 43 00:01:46,833 --> 00:01:47,933 [GUNS FIRING] 44 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:52,867 [GUNS FIRING] 45 00:01:57,667 --> 00:01:59,367 [WEAPONS FIRE] 46 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,833 [GUNS FIRING] 47 00:02:03,867 --> 00:02:06,867 [HYPERVENTILATING] 48 00:02:19,533 --> 00:02:22,400 [**] 49 00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:29,067 * GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES * 50 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:35,867 * CHICKS DRIVING FAST INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES * 51 00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:41,867 * WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE, LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE * 52 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:48,400 * THIS IS THE WAY IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE * 53 00:02:55,933 --> 00:02:57,233 * TALKING, LAUGHING LOVING, BREATHING * 54 00:02:57,267 --> 00:02:59,167 * FIGHTING, FUCKING CRYING, DRINKING * 55 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:00,600 * WRITING, WINNING LOSING, CHEATING * 56 00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:02,300 * KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING 57 00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:04,300 * THIS IS THE WAY... 58 00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:07,133 * IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE * 59 00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:12,700 * IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE 60 00:03:12,733 --> 00:03:18,067 * AND LOVE 61 00:03:37,267 --> 00:03:40,067 MM... GOOD MORNING. 62 00:03:43,867 --> 00:03:45,533 OH, FUCK. 63 00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:47,233 [GROANING] 64 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:56,067 I GOT THREE HOURS OF SLEEP. 65 00:03:56,067 --> 00:03:58,667 YOU'RE EXHAUSTING ME. 66 00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:00,300 [LAUGHS] 67 00:04:01,967 --> 00:04:03,900 [YAWNING] 68 00:04:07,233 --> 00:04:08,633 [CHUCKLING] 69 00:04:11,067 --> 00:04:12,867 IS IT... 70 00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:14,300 GAUGUIN? 71 00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:17,400 SENDAK. 72 00:04:17,433 --> 00:04:18,700 SENDAK! 73 00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:19,733 SENDAK... 74 00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:21,233 [BOTH LAUGHING] 75 00:04:21,267 --> 00:04:22,933 [ALARM BEEPING] 76 00:04:22,967 --> 00:04:25,233 [SIGHING]: IT'S THE ALARM CLOCK. 77 00:04:25,267 --> 00:04:27,167 [GROANING] 78 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,567 I HAVE TO GO TO WORK. 79 00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:41,633 YOU'RE THE BOSS. 80 00:04:41,667 --> 00:04:43,467 YOU COULD BE LATE. 81 00:05:26,433 --> 00:05:28,633 OH, FUCK... 82 00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:32,933 [MOANING] 83 00:05:32,967 --> 00:05:35,567 I THINK I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU. 84 00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:38,067 WHAT? 85 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:39,533 YOU SAY SOMETHING? 86 00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:43,200 NOTHING. 87 00:06:01,633 --> 00:06:03,967 [MOUTHING WORDS] 88 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:09,100 YOU WANT TO BE INSIDE ME? 89 00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:12,333 PLEASE. 90 00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:14,533 PLEASE. 91 00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:30,900 [MOANING] 92 00:06:44,633 --> 00:06:46,433 [SIGHING] 93 00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:49,633 I'M REALLY GOING TO MISS YOU, SOUNDER. 94 00:06:51,967 --> 00:06:55,200 I'M VERY, VERY SORRY THAT I USED YOU. 95 00:06:55,233 --> 00:06:59,600 I DO CARE ABOUT YOU, SOUNDER. 96 00:06:59,633 --> 00:07:03,200 I HOPE THAT YOU'RE IN A MUCH BETTER PLACE NOW. 97 00:07:07,967 --> 00:07:10,067 GOODBYE, SOUNDER. 98 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,967 HEY, JENNY. 99 00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:17,400 HEY. 100 00:07:17,433 --> 00:07:19,867 I LIKE GARDENING. 101 00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:21,200 DID YOU READ IT? 102 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:22,300 YEAH. LISTEN-- 103 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,833 IT'S NOT SO BAD, RIGHT? 104 00:07:23,867 --> 00:07:26,633 I MEAN, ALICE OVER-REACTED TO THE FIRST INSTALLMENT, 105 00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:29,300 BUT, I MEAN, THIS ONE'S NOT THAT BAD, RIGHT? 106 00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:30,667 I DON'T KNOW, JENNY. 107 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,433 I MEAN, THERE'S SOME STUFF ABOUT BETTE IN HERE 108 00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:33,700 THAT'S PRETTY HARSH. 109 00:07:33,733 --> 00:07:36,433 I DON'T HAVE A CHARACTER NAMED BETTE. 110 00:07:36,467 --> 00:07:38,800 OKAY, "BEV." WHATEVER. 111 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,667 I JUST-- I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD SEND IT. 112 00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:43,600 BETTE OF ALL PEOPLE UNDERSTANDS HOW ARTISTS CREATE. 113 00:07:43,633 --> 00:07:45,067 BETTE'S NOT STUPID. 114 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:48,367 SHE UNDERSTANDS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY AND FICTION. 115 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,533 BUT EVERYBODY KNOWS 116 00:07:49,567 --> 00:07:50,833 WHO YOUR CHARACTERS ARE BASED ON, 117 00:07:50,867 --> 00:07:51,867 AND IT'S NOT RIGHT 118 00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:53,167 TO EXPOSE YOUR FRIENDS LIKE THIS. 119 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,700 WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR STUDIO 120 00:07:54,733 --> 00:07:55,933 AND LIFT SOME WEIGHTS? 121 00:07:55,967 --> 00:07:57,533 I MEAN, I DON'T THINK 122 00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:58,867 YOU UNDERSTAND MY STORY. 123 00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:00,967 WHATEVER. 124 00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:09,433 [CHUCKLING] 125 00:08:09,467 --> 00:08:12,433 EVERYTHING IS ART TO YOU, 126 00:08:12,467 --> 00:08:13,700 RIGHT? 127 00:08:13,733 --> 00:08:15,333 EVERYTHING IS DESIRE. 128 00:08:15,367 --> 00:08:19,267 WELL, DESIRE CAN'T BE EVERYTHING. 129 00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:20,467 NO? 130 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,100 NO, THERE ARE RESPONSIBILITIES... 131 00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:24,467 [MOUTHING WORDS] 132 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,267 [MOUTHING WORDS] 133 00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:44,867 BUT I... I... 134 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,267 I HAVE TO GET TO WORK. 135 00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:49,100 OH. NO. NO, I DO. 136 00:08:49,133 --> 00:08:52,100 I HAVE TO GET TO WORK. I... 137 00:08:52,133 --> 00:08:53,767 [TELEPHONE RINGING] 138 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,800 THAT'S THE PHONE. 139 00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:02,433 [MOUTHS WORD] 140 00:09:02,467 --> 00:09:04,267 HELLO? 141 00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:05,500 PHYLLIS! 142 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,467 ARE YOU OKAY? 143 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,233 WHERE ARE YOU? 144 00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:11,900 I'M AT HOME. 145 00:09:11,933 --> 00:09:15,667 I DIDN'T GO TO CHICAGO FOR A CONVENTION. 146 00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:19,733 I... I JUST... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 147 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,700 I CAN'T SEEM TO PULL MYSELF TOGETHER. 148 00:09:21,733 --> 00:09:23,233 OKAY. HERE'S WHAT YOU DO. 149 00:09:23,267 --> 00:09:25,567 I WANT YOU TO GO BACK INTO THE OFFICE. 150 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,300 IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU TO BE AT HOME ALONE. 151 00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,300 ALL RIGHT? 152 00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:30,367 YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF BED. 153 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:31,967 Y-- 154 00:09:32,067 --> 00:09:33,367 PHYLLIS. 155 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,167 JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE. 156 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,467 WE'RE COMING OVER. 157 00:09:41,633 --> 00:09:43,067 HI. 158 00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:45,900 YEAH, THAT WAS JODI LERNER. 159 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,600 YEAH, SHE CAME OVER EARLY THIS MORNING-- 160 00:09:47,633 --> 00:09:48,667 UM... 161 00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:49,800 ACTUALLY, 162 00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:51,200 SHE CAME OVER LAST NIGHT 163 00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:53,467 AND WE SPENT THE NIGHT TOGETHER. 164 00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,067 WE'VE BEEN SEEING EACH ANOTHER. 165 00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:56,733 [MOUTHS WORDS] 166 00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:57,933 YES. 167 00:09:57,967 --> 00:09:59,700 SHE'S A LESBIAN. 168 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,067 IT'S ALL GOING TO BE OKAY, PHYLLIS. 169 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,267 WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 170 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:03,800 ALL RIGHT. BYE. 171 00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:05,300 YOU ARE BAD. 172 00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,000 YOU ARE BAD! 173 00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:13,867 HELENA, WE'VE ALL BEEN WHORES 174 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,533 AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. 175 00:10:15,567 --> 00:10:17,267 YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO. 176 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,033 EVERYONE'S DONE THINGS FOR MONEY 177 00:10:19,067 --> 00:10:20,100 THEY'RE NOT PROUD OF. 178 00:10:20,133 --> 00:10:21,900 IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A WHORE. 179 00:10:21,933 --> 00:10:23,067 YEAH, BUT SHE'S NOT GOING TO SLEEP 180 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,133 WITH THIS WOMAN 181 00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:25,667 JUST TO PAY OFF A GAMBLING DEBT. 182 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,000 ARE YOU? 183 00:10:27,033 --> 00:10:29,667 WHAT ELSE AM I GOING TO DO, ALICE? 184 00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:32,833 I'M GOING TO BE A WHORE. 185 00:10:32,867 --> 00:10:33,967 HANG ON A SEC, HELENA. 186 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,100 DIDN'T YOU SAY 187 00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:36,533 THAT SHE WAS REALLY BEAUTIFUL? 188 00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:37,933 OH, SHE'S STUNNING. 189 00:10:37,967 --> 00:10:39,500 REALLY?DOES THAT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE? 190 00:10:39,533 --> 00:10:41,767 IF I'M FUCKING A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN FOR MONEY? 191 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:42,900 I DON'T THINK SO. 192 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:46,733 YEAH. YEAH, IT HELPS. 193 00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:48,167 [SHANE]: I'D LIKE TO SAY THAT I WAS 194 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,833 FUCKING SHOWING OFF MY UNDERWEAR 195 00:10:49,867 --> 00:10:51,033 FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE, 196 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,500 AND THAT FELT PRETTY WHORISH. 197 00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:53,633 YOU SEE, HELENA? 198 00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:55,467 EVERYONE IS A WHORE IN THEIR LIFE 199 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:56,967 AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. 200 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,733 PRINCESS OF DARKNESS HAS SPOKEN. 201 00:10:58,767 --> 00:11:01,200 WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. 202 00:11:01,233 --> 00:11:04,300 ONCE I GAVE A BLOW JOB TO A HORN PLAYER. 203 00:11:05,467 --> 00:11:08,233 SO I COULD GET A LINE OF COCAINE. 204 00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:09,833 AND, AFTERWARDS, HOW DID YOU FEEL? 205 00:11:09,867 --> 00:11:10,933 HIGH. 206 00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:12,233 I WAS A HIGH HO. 207 00:11:12,267 --> 00:11:14,933 [SHANE]: IT'S ONE MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE, ALL RIGHT? 208 00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:16,733 IT'S NOT GOING TO DEFINE WHO YOU ARE. 209 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,367 HEY, NEXT TIME, 210 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,067 YOU AND ME SHOULD GO TO THE PLANET 211 00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,267 FOR BREAKFAST. 212 00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:24,433 WHY? 213 00:11:24,467 --> 00:11:25,867 WHY? BECAUSE IT'S GOOD FOOD, 214 00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,600 AND THERE'S NEW PEOPLE. 215 00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:29,267 YOU NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT 216 00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:30,533 OF LONG BEACH, TASH. 217 00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:31,933 EXPLORE SOME NEW PORTALS AND SHIT. 218 00:11:31,967 --> 00:11:34,300 PORTALS, WHAT IS THAT? ALICE'S THING? 219 00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:35,900 YOU KNOW I'M NOT INTO ALL THAT, PAPI. 220 00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:37,067 YEAH, BUT, LIKE, 221 00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,800 SEEING NEW THINGS, EXPERIENCING NEW THINGS, 222 00:11:38,833 --> 00:11:40,633 THAT'S A GOOD ATTITUDE TOWARDS LIFE. 223 00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,133 MAYBE, BUT THAT WHOLE DIPPING-IN THING 224 00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:43,533 AIN'T FOR ME, MAN. 225 00:11:43,567 --> 00:11:45,500 PICKING UP CHICKS OF EVERY CULTURE 226 00:11:45,533 --> 00:11:48,267 JUST SO YOU COULD SAY YOU'VE HAD ONE OF EVERYTHING... 227 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:51,367 I DON'T WANNA BE SOME CHICK'S BLACK-GIRL EXPERIENCE. 228 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,133 BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT ALICE IS DOING WITH YOU, MAN. 229 00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:54,167 YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. 230 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,467 THAT WAS HER THING WITH THE PROFESSOR LADY, 231 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,700 AND THAT'S WHY SHE WENT FOR IT WITH ME, 232 00:11:57,733 --> 00:11:58,867 BUT, LIKE, THE WAY SHE LOOKED AT YOU-- 233 00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,533 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 234 00:12:00,567 --> 00:12:02,267 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHE WENT FOR IT WITH YOU? 235 00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:04,600 WHEN WE FIRST MET. 236 00:12:04,633 --> 00:12:05,867 YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WAS DEALING WITH HER. 237 00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:07,633 OH, MY GOD, IT DIDN'T EVEN MEAN ANYTHING. 238 00:12:07,667 --> 00:12:09,467 YEAH, BUT IT MEANS SOMETHING TO ME! 239 00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,600 WHAT, YOU THINK I WANT YOUR SLOPPY SECONDS? 240 00:12:11,633 --> 00:12:13,067 IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE THAT, MAN. 241 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,067 YOU KNOW ME. 242 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,100 YEAH, I KNOW YOU. 243 00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:16,300 WHAT, YOU A PLAYER, RIGHT? 244 00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:17,433 THAT SHIT IS SO OLD, PAPI. 245 00:12:17,467 --> 00:12:18,633 GROW UP, MAN. 246 00:12:20,567 --> 00:12:22,267 HERE. TAKE THIS SHIT. 247 00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:23,600 YOU KNOW WHAT? 248 00:12:23,633 --> 00:12:26,667 WE'VE JUST GOT DIFFERENT VALUES. 249 00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,800 DIFFERENT CODES OF CONDUCT. 250 00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:31,633 IT IS WHAT IT IS, MAN. 251 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,100 [ENGINE TURNING OVER] 252 00:12:33,133 --> 00:12:34,367 [MOTOR REVVING] 253 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,300 I COULD SEE 254 00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:50,667 HOW YOU USED TO BE A GIRL. 255 00:12:51,833 --> 00:12:53,600 YOUR HIPS ARE KIND OF BIG. 256 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,167 WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR BREASTS? 257 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:58,867 DO YOU HAVE A PENIS? 258 00:13:16,867 --> 00:13:18,567 MAX. 259 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:20,567 CAN I JUST SAY 260 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:21,933 THAT I THINK WHAT YOU DID FOR MEGAN 261 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,067 WAS TOTALLY RIGHTEOUS? 262 00:13:23,067 --> 00:13:24,633 I'VE GOT A LOT OF RESPECT 263 00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:26,067 FOR YOU, DUDE. 264 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,533 THANKS, MAN. 265 00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,867 [WHISPERING]: MY BROTHER'S GAY TOO. 266 00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:32,933 I'M COOL WITH IT. 267 00:13:41,467 --> 00:13:42,633 [HELENA]: SHIT. TAILS. 268 00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:43,800 TWO OUT OF THREE. 269 00:13:43,833 --> 00:13:45,400 I'LL TRY IT TWO OUT OF THREE. 270 00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:46,400 OKAY! 271 00:13:46,433 --> 00:13:48,067 THERE REALLY HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY 272 00:13:48,067 --> 00:13:49,200 OF MAKING THIS DECISION. 273 00:13:49,233 --> 00:13:50,367 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 274 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:51,567 GIVE ME THE COIN. NUH-UH. 275 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,100 GIVE ME THE COIN. 276 00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:55,367 THANK YOU. 277 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,667 [GROWLING] 278 00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:58,067 IT'S CRASHING AGAIN. 279 00:13:58,067 --> 00:14:00,467 I'M GOING FUCKING NUTS, YOU GUYS. 280 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,800 NOW, APPARENTLY WHAT HAPPENED 281 00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:02,967 IS SOME OF THE BOYS WERE TEASING THEM, 282 00:14:03,067 --> 00:14:04,333 SO SHAY PUNCHED IVAN IN THE STOMACH. 283 00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:05,933 YOU DID THAT? 284 00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:07,067 YEAH. 285 00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:08,300 WHY? 286 00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:10,733 MIKE CUTLER SAID WE WERE GAY 287 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,067 BECAUSE... 288 00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:14,167 YOU'RE GAY 'CAUSE...? 289 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,567 'CAUSE OUR MOMS ARE LEZZIES. 290 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:17,600 HE SAID HIS MOM 291 00:14:17,633 --> 00:14:18,900 SAW YOU AND MRS. SOBEL-- 292 00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:20,100 HIS MOM SAW US WHAT? 293 00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:24,067 JARED? 294 00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:27,633 SHE SAID SHE SAW YOU AND MS. McCUTCHEON 295 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:28,733 LEZZING OUT TOGETHER. 296 00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:30,233 THAT'S WHEN I PUNCHED HIM. 297 00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:31,333 GOOD FOR YOU, SHAY. 298 00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:33,467 MS. SOBEL, I DON'T THINK 299 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:34,533 IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO ENCOURAGE VIOLENCE. 300 00:14:34,567 --> 00:14:35,733 MR. PETERSON. 301 00:14:35,767 --> 00:14:37,600 WHEN PARENTS GIVE THEIR CHILDREN THE MESSAGE 302 00:14:37,633 --> 00:14:39,967 THAT IT'S OKAY TO PERSECUTE OTHERS, 303 00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:41,633 I, FOR ONE, DON'T DISAGREE 304 00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:43,467 WITH THE WAY OUR KIDS HANDLED IT. 305 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,233 MY MOM IS NOT GAY. 306 00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:47,067 THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY THAT THEY SAID THOSE THINGS. 307 00:14:48,767 --> 00:14:50,667 ARE YOU GAY? 308 00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:54,333 YEAH. 309 00:14:54,367 --> 00:14:55,633 I AM. 310 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,067 BOYS, DO YOU THINK I COULD JUST ASK YOU 311 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,400 TO STAND OUTSIDE IN THE HALL 312 00:15:02,433 --> 00:15:04,767 JUST-- JUST FOR A MINUTE? 313 00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:09,400 YOU KNOW, I THINK THERE'S A WAY 314 00:15:09,433 --> 00:15:10,767 TO SOLVE THIS. 315 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:11,900 WE'LL JUST GET THE BOYS 316 00:15:11,933 --> 00:15:13,267 TO APOLOGIZE. 317 00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:14,567 I MEAN, TOMORROW THEY'RE GOING TO BE BACK PLAYING TOGETHER, 318 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:15,800 AND THIS WILL ALL BE FORGOTTEN. 319 00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:17,467 YEAH, I'M GOING TO TALK TO SHAY. 320 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,900 NO! NO, NO, NO, NO. 321 00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:21,200 I THINK THAT THE OTHER BOYS SHOULD APOLOGIZE 322 00:15:21,233 --> 00:15:22,933 TO SHAY AND JARED, 323 00:15:22,967 --> 00:15:24,400 AND THEN TO THE WHOLE SCHOOL. 324 00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:27,067 YOU HAVE TO LET THESE KIDS KNOW THAT YOU WILL NOT TOLERATE 325 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,300 THE USE OF THE WORD "GAY" AS AN INSULT. 326 00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:31,467 I THINK THEY WERE JUST REPEATING WHAT THEY HEARD AT HOME. 327 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:34,700 WELL, THEN MAYBE IT'S WHY YOU SHOULD TEACH THEM HERE 328 00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:35,833 THAT IT'S NOT OKAY. 329 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,233 THIS IS A PUBLIC SCHOOL, 330 00:15:40,267 --> 00:15:43,300 AND WE HAVE TO ADHERE TO CERTAIN POLICY STANDARDS. 331 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:44,467 NOW, WE ALL KNOW 332 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,467 THAT THIS IS A VERY TOUCHY SUBJECT. 333 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,833 NOW, OUR JOB IS TO EDUCATE CHILDREN, 334 00:15:48,867 --> 00:15:50,233 NOT TEACH THEM HOW TO-- 335 00:15:50,267 --> 00:15:51,567 NO, YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR JOB IS? 336 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,933 IT'S TO HELP FORM THEM INTO DECENT HUMAN BEINGS. 337 00:15:53,967 --> 00:15:55,233 LISTEN, I'M AWARE OF THE FACT 338 00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:56,667 THAT SOME OF THE PARENTS ARE GOING TO GET UPSET 339 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:58,267 'CAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO BE TEACHING THEM THINGS 340 00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:00,067 THAT GO AGAINST THEIR PERSONAL BELIEFS. 341 00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:01,467 FINE, WHATEVER, BUT, I'M SORRY, 342 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,200 YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT THIS. 343 00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:08,067 WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. 344 00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:11,567 WELL, SHANE AND I WILL DO IT. 345 00:16:12,733 --> 00:16:14,733 THAT'S GREAT, THANKS. THANK YOU. 346 00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:17,533 I WANT "LEZ GIRLS." 347 00:16:17,567 --> 00:16:19,900 I DON'T THINK I'M THE RIGHT EXECUTIVE 348 00:16:19,933 --> 00:16:21,333 FOR THIS PROJECT, AARON. 349 00:16:21,367 --> 00:16:23,633 I DON'T LIKE THE STORY. 350 00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:25,567 OH, COME ON. 351 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:26,700 "NINA." 352 00:16:26,733 --> 00:16:29,067 [PUTS LID DOWN] 353 00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:32,067 "LEZ GIRLS" IS FICTION, AND I'M NOT NINA. 354 00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,367 BULLSHIT. 355 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,767 EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE NINA. 356 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,800 EVERYONE KNOWS SHIT. 357 00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:37,900 WELL, WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY 358 00:16:37,933 --> 00:16:39,167 TO HOLD YOUR HEAD UP, DOLL. 359 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,900 THIS IS A HOT FUCKING PROPERTY, 360 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,433 AND I WANT IT FOR SHAOLIN. 361 00:16:42,467 --> 00:16:43,667 IT'S A SLAM DUNK. 362 00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:45,067 THE WRITER'S YOUR FRIEND, RIGHT? 363 00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:46,067 JENNIFER SCHECTER. 364 00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:47,433 WE USED TO BE NEIGHBORS. 365 00:16:47,467 --> 00:16:49,200 I DON'T EVEN SEE HER THAT MUCH ANYMORE. 366 00:16:49,233 --> 00:16:50,833 YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH HER AGAIN. 367 00:16:50,867 --> 00:16:52,767 PLAY THE EX-LESBIAN CARD, YOU KNOW? 368 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,900 YOU KNOW THE LIFE, 369 00:16:54,933 --> 00:16:56,200 YOU'LL BE TRUE TO THE STORY, 370 00:16:56,233 --> 00:16:57,467 BLAH, BLAH. 371 00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,433 THIS IS REALLY AWKWARD FOR ME, OKAY? 372 00:16:59,467 --> 00:17:00,800 IT'S AN AWKWARD SITUATION. 373 00:17:00,833 --> 00:17:01,933 REALLY? 374 00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:04,333 MORE AWKWARD THAN BEING OUT OF A JOB? 375 00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:06,633 WHA... 376 00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:10,900 YOU KNOW, THERE'S SOMETHING 377 00:17:10,933 --> 00:17:12,500 I'VE WANTED TO ASK YOU. 378 00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:14,533 DID YOUR EX REALLY CHEAT ON YOU 379 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,300 WITH A PLUMBER? 380 00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:18,333 IT WAS A CARPENTER. 381 00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:20,600 AND IT WAS FICTION! 382 00:17:20,633 --> 00:17:23,500 [JUICER BEGINS ROARING] 383 00:17:24,733 --> 00:17:27,233 [PHYLLIS SOBBING] 384 00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:31,500 I ALWAYS THOUGHT A BROKEN HEART WAS A... 385 00:17:31,533 --> 00:17:33,067 [SNIFFLING]: LITERARY AFFECTATION. 386 00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:34,933 PHYLLIS, I PROMISE YOU 387 00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:37,767 THAT NO ONE HAS EVER DIED OF A BROKEN HEART. 388 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,433 EASY FOR YOU TO SAY. 389 00:17:39,467 --> 00:17:42,100 ALICE WALKER ONCE WROTE... 390 00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:43,933 "YOU CAN'T TRULY HAVE AN OPEN HEART 391 00:17:43,967 --> 00:17:45,933 UNTIL IT'S BEEN BROKEN." 392 00:17:45,967 --> 00:17:48,467 I KNOW IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE 393 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:49,600 RIGHT NOW, PHYLLIS, 394 00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,733 BUT YOU WILL FIND YOUR WAY BACK 395 00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:53,933 TO LOVING SOMEONE NEW. 396 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,700 [PHYLLIS, SNAPPING]: HELLO? 397 00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:00,167 REMEMBER ME? 398 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,667 I DON'T WANT ANYBODY NEW. 399 00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:04,400 I WANT ALICE! 400 00:18:04,433 --> 00:18:07,067 ALICE WAS YOUR FIRST. OKAY? 401 00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:08,933 SHE WAS YOUR COMING-OUT AFFAIR. 402 00:18:08,967 --> 00:18:10,367 IF THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE 403 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,900 TO COME OUT, 404 00:18:11,933 --> 00:18:13,100 I WANT TO GO BACK IN. 405 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:14,333 PHYLLIS-- DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE A CHILD. 406 00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:15,467 I'M NOT A CHILD! 407 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:16,900 AND YOU NEED TO TURN IN 408 00:18:16,933 --> 00:18:17,967 YOUR FIRST QUARTER REPORT. 409 00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:19,100 [TOM]: EVERYONE'S A CHILD 410 00:18:19,133 --> 00:18:21,267 IN THEIR COMING-OUT AFFAIR. 411 00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,600 IT'S LIKE YOUR SECOND ADOLESCENCE. 412 00:18:23,633 --> 00:18:25,200 IT'S LIKE THE FIRST TIME 413 00:18:25,233 --> 00:18:26,467 THAT YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL THOSE CORNY SONGS 414 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:27,567 AND POEMS ARE ABOUT. 415 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,600 [TOM]: FOR THE FIRST TIME, 416 00:18:29,633 --> 00:18:30,700 YOUR SENSES HAVE 417 00:18:30,733 --> 00:18:32,200 COMPLETELY OVERWHELMED YOUR INTELLECT. 418 00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:33,567 YOU'RE EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS 419 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,667 THAT YOU'VE NEVER REALLY FELT BEFORE. 420 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,733 AND YOU'RE FIGURING OUT THAT YOU'RE GAY 421 00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:39,100 ALL AT THE SAME TIME. 422 00:18:39,133 --> 00:18:40,500 RIGHT. 423 00:18:40,533 --> 00:18:41,700 WHICH MAKES IT THAT MUCH MORE INTENSE, 424 00:18:41,733 --> 00:18:44,500 BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW YET TO BE GAY. 425 00:18:44,533 --> 00:18:47,200 OH, SO I HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO BE GAY? 426 00:18:47,233 --> 00:18:48,500 IT'S JUST A PROCESS. 427 00:18:48,533 --> 00:18:50,300 I MEAN, WE'VE ALL HAD TO GO THROUGH IT. 428 00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:51,333 NO. 429 00:18:51,367 --> 00:18:54,167 WHAT I FEEL FOR ALICE IS-- 430 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,867 EXACTLY HOW I FELT FOR MY FIRST. 431 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:56,933 WHATEVER! 432 00:18:56,967 --> 00:18:58,933 THE SAME THAT WE'VE ALL BEEN THROUGH. 433 00:18:58,967 --> 00:19:00,567 PHOEBE KADLEC, OKAY? 434 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,100 YALE DRAMA. 435 00:19:02,133 --> 00:19:03,400 I WAS A JUNIOR. 436 00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:04,433 PHOEBE KADLEC 437 00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:05,900 IS A FIRST YEAR MFA. 438 00:19:05,933 --> 00:19:07,600 SHE'S DIRECTING MA RAINEY'S BLACK BOTTOM. 439 00:19:07,633 --> 00:19:09,967 SHE'S FUCKING BRILLIANT. 440 00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:11,433 SHE'S GORGEOUS. 441 00:19:11,467 --> 00:19:15,467 WE TALK INTENSELY ABOUT ART AND THEATER 442 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,833 AND SEMIOTICS AND RACE, 443 00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:19,833 AND FINALLY, AFTER THE LAST PERFORMANCE, 444 00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,433 WE ALL GO OUT AND GET INCREDIBLY DRUNK, 445 00:19:22,467 --> 00:19:23,867 AND PHOEBE TAKES ME 446 00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:26,467 BACK TO HER GRADUATE STUDENT APARTMENT, 447 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:27,833 AND WE DON'T GET OUT OF BED 448 00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:29,333 FOR THREE DAYS. 449 00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:31,467 I AM READY TO DON 450 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,067 A FUCKING HAMMER 451 00:19:33,067 --> 00:19:36,433 AND HELP BUILD EVERY SET FOR EVERY PLAY SHE EVER DIRECTS, 452 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,800 WHEN... 453 00:19:37,833 --> 00:19:38,800 GILLIE CARR, 454 00:19:38,833 --> 00:19:39,967 THE ACTRESS, 455 00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:41,500 COMES BANGING ON THE DOOR. 456 00:19:41,533 --> 00:19:45,833 SHE LEFT PHOEBE FOR A GUY, AND NOW SHE WANTS BACK, 457 00:19:45,867 --> 00:19:48,233 AND THEN SUDDENLY, I AM LIKE 458 00:19:48,267 --> 00:19:49,467 THE ANNOYING KID SISTER 459 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:52,600 THEY CANNOT GET RID OF FAST ENOUGH. 460 00:19:52,633 --> 00:19:54,933 I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE. 461 00:19:54,967 --> 00:19:57,067 IT TOOK ME THREE MONTHS 462 00:19:57,067 --> 00:19:59,200 BEFORE I COULD EVEN BEGIN TO THINK 463 00:19:59,233 --> 00:20:00,433 OF ANYTHING ELSE. 464 00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:04,933 NOBODY EVER BROKE MY HEART BEFORE. 465 00:20:04,967 --> 00:20:06,567 I'M GOING TO GO INTO YOUR SERVER 466 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,133 AND CHECK YOUR WEBLOG HISTORY 467 00:20:08,167 --> 00:20:09,533 AND SEE WHAT'S GOING ON, OKAY? 468 00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:11,233 THANK YOU SO MUCH. I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS. 469 00:20:11,267 --> 00:20:12,433 OH, THANK ME. 470 00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:14,333 I WAS THE ONE THAT CALLED HIM. 471 00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:16,433 THANK YOU SO MUCH, JENNY. 472 00:20:16,467 --> 00:20:18,333 I HAD TO GET OUT OF THE OFFICE ANYWAY. 473 00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:20,000 THEY CAN'T FIRE YOU, MAX. 474 00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:21,900 I MEAN, YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? 475 00:20:21,933 --> 00:20:24,567 YEAH, BUT THEY CAN MAKE MY LIFE REALLY MISERABLE. 476 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:25,733 [KEYS CLACKING] 477 00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:27,000 JESUS, ALICE. 478 00:20:27,033 --> 00:20:28,767 WHAT? IS IT FUCKED? 479 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,767 I MEAN, YOU'RE TOTALLY SLAMMED WITH HITS! 480 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,500 YOU'VE GOTTEN, LIKE, 40,000 IN THE LAST HOUR. 481 00:20:32,533 --> 00:20:34,433 YOU NEED TO SERIOUSLY UPGRADE. 482 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,667 I SHOULD JUST SELL IT. 483 00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:36,867 WAGON.COM OFFERED ME, LIKE, 484 00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:38,000 10,000 BUCKS FOR IT. 485 00:20:38,033 --> 00:20:39,533 REALLY? 486 00:20:39,567 --> 00:20:41,033 $10,000 FOR OURCHART? 487 00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:43,167 YOUR SITE'S WORTH, LIKE, 10 TIMES THAT AMOUNT. 488 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,200 WHAT, YOU MEAN, LIKE, $100,000? 489 00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:46,567 I MEAN, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WAGON.COM 490 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,500 STANDS TO MAKE FROM A SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE 491 00:20:48,533 --> 00:20:49,733 LIKE THIS?NO. NO. 492 00:20:49,767 --> 00:20:51,067 NO. THIS IS WHAT YOU DO. 493 00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:53,000 YOU SELL THE ADS YOURSELF. UH-HUH. 494 00:20:53,033 --> 00:20:54,367 AND THEN YOU PARTNER WITH A TECH COMPANY 495 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,533 FOR THEIR SOFTWARE. 496 00:20:55,567 --> 00:20:56,600 OKAY. 497 00:20:56,633 --> 00:20:58,067 YOU GO TOTALLY STATE-OF-THE-ART, 498 00:20:58,100 --> 00:20:59,567 AND YOU COULD HAVE, LIKE, STREAMING VIDEO, 499 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,200 MUSIC, BLOGS, INSTANT MESSAGING... 500 00:21:02,233 --> 00:21:05,067 GREAT, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT, SO... 501 00:21:05,067 --> 00:21:06,067 SURE YOU DO. 502 00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:07,700 I MEAN, YOU'VE ALREADY DONE THE HARDEST PART. 503 00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:09,800 YOU JUST HAVEN'T BEEN MAKING ANY MONEY AT IT. 504 00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:11,633 I COULD HELP YOU WITH THAT. 505 00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:13,467 REALLY? YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THAT? 506 00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:14,733 IT'S WHAT I DO. 507 00:21:14,767 --> 00:21:16,867 OH. 508 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,667 I DON'T KNOW. 509 00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:20,500 MYSPACE SOLD FOR, LIKE, A MILLION DOLLARS. 510 00:21:20,533 --> 00:21:22,733 NAH, IT SOLD FOR, LIKE, A BILLION. 511 00:21:22,767 --> 00:21:24,600 [GASPING]: REALLY? HOW COOL IS THAT? 512 00:21:24,633 --> 00:21:26,233 OH, MY GOD, KIT. 513 00:21:26,267 --> 00:21:28,667 MAX IS GOING TO HELP ME BECOME AN INTERNET MOGUL. 514 00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:31,800 I GOT A COUPLE OF BILL GATES-ES-ES-ES. 515 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:34,533 DON'T FORGET IT STARTED RIGHT HERE AT THE PLANET, 516 00:21:34,567 --> 00:21:37,367 AND DO NOT FORGET MY BLACK ASS WHEN Y'ALL GET RICH. 517 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,500 OH, I'LL GIVE YOU SOME MONEY. 518 00:21:38,533 --> 00:21:39,467 YEAH. 519 00:21:40,567 --> 00:21:42,667 AND THERE COMES THE PRETTY LADY 520 00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:44,300 THAT STARTED ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. 521 00:21:44,333 --> 00:21:47,067 WELL, WHAT'S UP, GIRLIES? 522 00:21:47,067 --> 00:21:49,667 WELL, ALICE IS ABOUT TO BECOME A KAZILLIONAIRE 523 00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:51,633 BECAUSE OF ALL THE PRETTY YOUNG WOMEN 524 00:21:51,667 --> 00:21:54,067 YOU'VE HAD SEXUAL DALLIANCES WITH, PAPI. 525 00:21:54,067 --> 00:21:57,933 MAN, I GOT ENOUGH FLAK FOR THAT SHIT TODAY. 526 00:21:57,967 --> 00:22:00,933 [SIGHING] 527 00:22:00,967 --> 00:22:03,267 [TOM]: ALL THE HOT GUYS I FUCKED IN HIGH SCHOOL 528 00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:04,667 COULD NOT COMPARE. 529 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:07,300 FIRST OF ALL, SHE WAS A GIRL, 530 00:22:07,333 --> 00:22:09,900 BUT LUCY WAS ALSO MY FIRST DEAF LOVER, 531 00:22:09,933 --> 00:22:13,833 AND THE SEX WAS EARTH-SHATTERING. 532 00:22:13,867 --> 00:22:17,467 SO YOU THINK THE SEX IS BETTER, THEN, 533 00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:20,800 WITH A DEAF, UH, LOVER? 534 00:22:20,833 --> 00:22:23,867 NO, NO, NO, NOT BETTER, DIFFERENT. 535 00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:27,233 WE'RE ATTUNED TO EACH OTHER 536 00:22:27,267 --> 00:22:28,833 IN DIFFERENT WAYS. 537 00:22:28,867 --> 00:22:30,467 SO YOU MEAN 538 00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:32,700 THAT YOU CAN'T GO AS DEEP, THOUGH? 539 00:22:32,733 --> 00:22:34,100 [TOM]: HMM. 540 00:22:34,133 --> 00:22:36,533 LET ME CAST MY MIND BACK FOR JUST A MOMENT 541 00:22:36,567 --> 00:22:37,700 TO THIS MORNING... 542 00:22:37,733 --> 00:22:40,700 I CAN'T IMAGINE GOING ANY DEEPER THAN THAT. 543 00:22:40,733 --> 00:22:42,400 CAN YOU? 544 00:22:42,433 --> 00:22:44,300 [CHUCKLING] 545 00:22:44,333 --> 00:22:45,133 BACK TO ME. 546 00:22:45,167 --> 00:22:46,867 I'M SORRY. 547 00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:48,200 SO WHAT HAPPENED WITH LUCY? 548 00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:50,633 [TOM]: WE FELL COMPLETELY IN LOVE. 549 00:22:50,667 --> 00:22:53,067 ALL THROUGH FRESHMAN YEAR, 550 00:22:53,100 --> 00:22:55,867 I WOULD SCULPT, SHE WOULD PAINT. 551 00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:57,067 WE TALKED ABOUT 552 00:22:57,067 --> 00:22:59,533 SPENDING THE REST OF OUR LIVES TOGETHER. 553 00:22:59,567 --> 00:23:01,600 I NEVER IMAGINED THAT IT WOULD END. 554 00:23:01,633 --> 00:23:04,167 IN MY SOPHOMORE YEAR, I MET KATHA. 555 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:06,867 BRILLIANT. 556 00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:07,967 A DANCER. 557 00:23:10,300 --> 00:23:11,933 I MEAN, WE HAD AN INSTANT, 558 00:23:11,967 --> 00:23:13,200 UNBELIEVABLY INTENSE 559 00:23:13,233 --> 00:23:15,067 ATTRACTION TO EACH ANOTHER. 560 00:23:15,067 --> 00:23:17,433 AS MUCH AS I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT LUCY... 561 00:23:17,467 --> 00:23:19,967 YOU DUMPED LUCY FOR KATHA? 562 00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:21,300 [TOM]: NOT RIGHT AWAY. 563 00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:22,667 BUT THAT WAS WHEN I REALIZED 564 00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:24,933 THAT I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO BE MONOGAMOUS. 565 00:23:26,967 --> 00:23:28,467 WHAT? 566 00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:31,300 YOU DATED BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME? 567 00:23:32,967 --> 00:23:34,333 WELL, FOR A WHILE. 568 00:23:34,367 --> 00:23:37,867 LUCY SAID SHE WANTED TO TRY. 569 00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:39,067 SHE SAID THAT SHE'D RATHER 570 00:23:39,067 --> 00:23:40,100 SHARE ME WITH SOMEONE ELSE 571 00:23:40,133 --> 00:23:41,433 THAN NOT HAVE ME AT ALL, 572 00:23:41,467 --> 00:23:45,267 BUT IN THE END, IT MADE HER TOO UNHAPPY. 573 00:23:56,233 --> 00:23:57,433 HEY, TINA! HI. 574 00:23:57,467 --> 00:23:58,567 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN A WHILE. 575 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,267 I KNOW, GIRL. THE GIRLS ARE OVER THERE. 576 00:24:00,300 --> 00:24:02,367 I DON'T THINK THEY'D MIND IF YOU GO AND JOIN THEM. 577 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:06,800 UM, ACTUALLY, I'M HERE TO MEET JENNY. 578 00:24:06,833 --> 00:24:08,500 SHE'S EXPECTING ME. 579 00:24:08,533 --> 00:24:12,500 OKAY, LOOK, TINA, COME BY ANY TIME, OKAY? 580 00:24:17,167 --> 00:24:19,967 KIT? 581 00:24:20,067 --> 00:24:23,433 I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW SORRY I AM 582 00:24:23,467 --> 00:24:25,067 ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED WITH ANGUS. 583 00:24:25,100 --> 00:24:26,500 OH, GIRL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 584 00:24:26,533 --> 00:24:30,067 I MEAN, COME ON, SOME PEOPLE DO SOME REALLY STUPID THINGS. 585 00:24:30,067 --> 00:24:31,767 I MEAN, THEY JUST MAKE BAD CALLS. 586 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:32,867 BUT YOU'RE OKAY? 587 00:24:32,900 --> 00:24:34,067 OH, YEAH. 588 00:24:34,067 --> 00:24:36,100 I-- I'M EVEN GIVING HIM SOME SPACE 589 00:24:36,133 --> 00:24:37,233 SO HE CAN DEAL WITH IT. 590 00:24:37,267 --> 00:24:38,600 SOMETIMES WE NEED TO BACK OFF 591 00:24:38,633 --> 00:24:41,533 SO THAT WE'RE NOT IN EACH OTHER'S BUSINESS SO MUCH, 592 00:24:41,567 --> 00:24:42,533 YOU KNOW? 593 00:24:42,567 --> 00:24:45,067 WOW, THAT'S... 594 00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:48,567 THAT'S REALLY VERY EVOLVED OF YOU. 595 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:49,567 WELL. 596 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:50,667 I'M JUST-- 597 00:24:50,700 --> 00:24:51,833 I'M GLAD THAT BETTE CONFRONTED HIM, 598 00:24:51,867 --> 00:24:52,833 AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW 599 00:24:52,867 --> 00:24:54,233 THAT I WOULD'VE FIRED HAZEL 600 00:24:54,267 --> 00:24:57,067 IF HE HADN'T ENDED IT. 601 00:24:57,100 --> 00:25:00,600 YOU WOULD HAVE FIRED HAZEL? 602 00:25:00,633 --> 00:25:03,167 YEAH, BUT... SHE'S YOUNG, 603 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,067 SHE JUST MOVED TO L.A., SHE DOESN'T KNOW ANYONE. 604 00:25:05,067 --> 00:25:06,733 SHE DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER. 605 00:25:06,767 --> 00:25:08,400 BUT, WOW... 606 00:25:08,433 --> 00:25:10,567 THAT'S JUST... 607 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,967 AMAZING HOW COOL YOU ARE. 608 00:25:14,467 --> 00:25:15,433 YEAH. 609 00:25:15,467 --> 00:25:16,567 YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW ME. 610 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,567 "COOL KIT." 611 00:25:20,100 --> 00:25:21,967 WELL, SEE YOU. 612 00:25:22,067 --> 00:25:22,767 YEAH. 613 00:25:28,867 --> 00:25:30,867 [DOOR CLOSES] 614 00:25:47,967 --> 00:25:49,967 [DIALING PHONE] 615 00:25:52,467 --> 00:25:53,933 [ANGUS]: HEY! YOU'VE REACHED 616 00:25:53,967 --> 00:25:56,067 ANGUS PARTRIDGE. LEAVE ME A PEAR TREE. 617 00:25:56,067 --> 00:25:58,867 [BREATHING DEEPLY] 618 00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:02,433 OKAY. 619 00:26:02,467 --> 00:26:04,767 [DIALING PHONE] 620 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,067 [BETTE]: HI. IT'S BETTE. 621 00:26:06,067 --> 00:26:07,333 LEAVE ME A MESSAGE. 622 00:26:07,367 --> 00:26:09,300 BETTE... 623 00:26:09,333 --> 00:26:11,767 IT'S ME. 624 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:17,233 PLEASE, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, OKAY? 625 00:26:24,067 --> 00:26:25,400 HEY, WHY DO YOU GIVE THAT GIRL TINA 626 00:26:25,433 --> 00:26:26,600 SUCH A HARD TIME? 627 00:26:26,633 --> 00:26:28,067 OH. WOW. 628 00:26:28,067 --> 00:26:29,433 SHE WENT STRAIGHT, 629 00:26:29,467 --> 00:26:30,800 AND IT FEELS LIKE A BETRAYAL. 630 00:26:30,833 --> 00:26:33,167 WE FIGHT OUR WHOLE LIVES 631 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,933 NOT TO GET JUDGED BY WHO WE SLEEP WITH, 632 00:26:34,967 --> 00:26:37,300 AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING TO TINA. 633 00:26:37,333 --> 00:26:39,533 WOW. 634 00:26:39,567 --> 00:26:40,933 FUCK. 635 00:26:40,967 --> 00:26:42,367 SORRY, I HAD A MISUNDERSTANDING 636 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,400 WITH MY GIRL TASHA THIS MORNING. 637 00:26:44,433 --> 00:26:46,600 YOU DID? ABOUT WHAT? 638 00:26:46,633 --> 00:26:47,733 WELL, THE WHOLE DOUBLE-DIPPING THING 639 00:26:47,767 --> 00:26:49,433 ISN'T EXACTLY FLYING WITH HER. 640 00:26:49,467 --> 00:26:51,067 DOUBLE-DIPPING? 641 00:26:51,067 --> 00:26:53,067 YEAH, YOU DIPPING INTO ME, AND THEN DIPPING IN HER. 642 00:26:53,067 --> 00:26:56,100 WAIT, FIRST OF ALL, I HAVE NOT DIPPED INTO HER, OKAY? 643 00:26:56,133 --> 00:26:58,367 SHE'S VERY OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN. 644 00:26:58,400 --> 00:26:59,667 SHE REALLY WANTS TO TAKE THINGS SLOW. 645 00:26:59,700 --> 00:27:01,467 THAT'S HOW TASHA IS. 646 00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:03,967 SHE'S PRETTY TRADITIONAL, YOU KNOW? 647 00:27:04,067 --> 00:27:06,933 WELL, SHE'S IN THE FUCKIN' ARMY, 648 00:27:06,967 --> 00:27:09,067 SO, YEAH. 649 00:27:09,100 --> 00:27:11,500 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD MAYBE, JUST, 650 00:27:11,533 --> 00:27:12,800 LIKE, FORGET ABOUT HER. 651 00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:15,567 WHAT? 652 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,967 I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL ABOUT US GETTING TOGETHER. 653 00:27:18,067 --> 00:27:20,133 WELL, TASHA IS MY BEST FRIEND, 654 00:27:20,167 --> 00:27:21,767 AND SHE IS NOT SOME LITTLE PORTAL 655 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,600 OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU KEEP LOOKING FOR. 656 00:27:23,633 --> 00:27:24,867 NO, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. 657 00:27:24,900 --> 00:27:26,200 I REALLY LIKE HER. I REALLY DO. 658 00:27:26,233 --> 00:27:27,467 REMEMBER HOW, THE OTHER DAY, 659 00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:29,767 YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU COULDN'T EVEN IMAGINE 660 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,233 GOING TO AN ARMY BASE EVERY DAY? 661 00:27:31,267 --> 00:27:33,267 THAT IS TASHA'S WHOLE LIFE. 662 00:27:33,300 --> 00:27:35,067 YOU NEED TO FORGET HER 663 00:27:35,100 --> 00:27:36,867 IF YOU CAN'T GET WITH WHO SHE IS. 664 00:27:42,967 --> 00:27:45,167 I LOVE "LEZ GIRLS." 665 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:46,433 NINA WAS HILARIOUS. 666 00:27:46,467 --> 00:27:48,533 I... I LAUGHED OUT LOUD. 667 00:27:48,567 --> 00:27:51,267 THE STUFF ABOUT THE PLUMBER DIDN'T BOTHER YOU? 668 00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:52,667 [SCOFFING] 669 00:27:52,700 --> 00:27:55,167 YOU AND ME, WE'RE GOING TO MAKE A GREAT TEAM. 670 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,633 SHAOLIN IS COMMITTED TO THE INTEGRITY OF THIS PROJECT. 671 00:27:58,667 --> 00:28:00,100 YOU KNOW, I DON'T REALLY KNOW 672 00:28:00,133 --> 00:28:02,133 IF I WANT TO MAKE A MOVIE OUT OF MY BOOK. 673 00:28:02,167 --> 00:28:03,800 WHAT KIND OF MOVIES DO YOU LOVE? 674 00:28:03,833 --> 00:28:05,867 WHAT ADAPTATIONS REALLY WORKED FOR YOU? 675 00:28:05,900 --> 00:28:08,267 THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING. 676 00:28:08,300 --> 00:28:09,500 THAT'S SUCH A GOOD FILM. 677 00:28:09,533 --> 00:28:11,767 OH, WOW, IF JEAN-CLAUDE CARRIERE 678 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,367 WERE TO ADAPT THE SCREENPLAY, 679 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:17,933 I THINK IT WOULD JUST BE... I THINK IT WOULD BE CHIC. 680 00:28:17,967 --> 00:28:21,167 WELL, JENNY, WOULDN'T YOU PREFER A LESBIAN WRITER? 681 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,333 TINA, HAVE YOU READ THE BOOK? 682 00:28:23,367 --> 00:28:25,067 YES. 683 00:28:25,067 --> 00:28:28,300 BECAUSE IT'S NOT A BOOK ABOUT LESBIANS. 684 00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:31,900 IT'S A BOOK ABOUT PEOPLE'S RELATIONSHIPS. 685 00:28:31,933 --> 00:28:33,567 OF COURSE. 686 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:34,933 AND WE DON'T WANT TO LIMIT OURSELF. 687 00:28:34,967 --> 00:28:38,633 IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO FIND A FEMALE DIRECTOR 688 00:28:38,667 --> 00:28:39,833 IN HOLLYWOOD-- OH, NO. 689 00:28:39,867 --> 00:28:41,367 LET ALONE A LESBIAN DIRECTOR. 690 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,433 NO, I WANT IT TO BE A WOMAN DIRECTOR. 691 00:28:43,467 --> 00:28:45,767 YOU KNOW, I MEAN, LIKE, IT'S ABOUT WOMEN, 692 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,867 SO YOU HAVE TO HAVE A WOMAN ON SET, 693 00:28:47,900 --> 00:28:49,267 AND, I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT A LESBIAN ANYMORE, 694 00:28:49,300 --> 00:28:51,200 AND IN THE FILM BUSINESS, 695 00:28:51,233 --> 00:28:53,867 THEY DON'T LIKE THE AUTHOR ON SET 696 00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:55,367 BECAUSE THEY BECOME TOO "PRECIOUS" 697 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,367 ABOUT THEIR MATERIAL, SO-- 698 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,167 JENNY, MOVIES REACH A HUGE AUDIENCE. 699 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,067 IT COULD MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE. 700 00:29:03,067 --> 00:29:04,733 A TEENAGE GIRL IN THE MIDWEST 701 00:29:04,767 --> 00:29:07,400 WHO'S AFRAID TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET... 702 00:29:07,433 --> 00:29:10,833 SHE COULD SEE YOUR MOVIE. 703 00:29:10,867 --> 00:29:12,733 IT COULD CHANGE HER LIFE. 704 00:29:12,767 --> 00:29:15,400 IT COULD REALLY AFFECT PEOPLE. 705 00:29:15,433 --> 00:29:18,500 THAT WOULD BE REALLY NICE, WOULDN'T IT? 706 00:29:18,533 --> 00:29:21,433 GOD. 707 00:29:21,467 --> 00:29:23,600 MAYBE IT COULD BE A REALLY GOOD MOVIE. 708 00:29:23,633 --> 00:29:25,100 OKAY. LET'S DO IT. 709 00:29:25,133 --> 00:29:26,167 FUCK IT. 710 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,400 I SHOULD JUST DO IT. YOU KNOW? 711 00:29:29,433 --> 00:29:30,667 OKAY, THAT'S GREAT. 712 00:29:30,700 --> 00:29:32,100 GREAT. YOU KNOW WHAT? 713 00:29:32,133 --> 00:29:33,267 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED? 714 00:29:33,300 --> 00:29:34,333 YOU NEED AN AGENT. 715 00:29:34,367 --> 00:29:35,867 YOU NEED A BIG HOLLYWOOD AGENT. 716 00:29:35,900 --> 00:29:37,433 YOU NEED AN AGENT TO BROKER THE DEAL. 717 00:29:37,467 --> 00:29:40,067 BECCA VOYNOVICH AT WILLIAM MORRIS. 718 00:29:40,100 --> 00:29:42,733 SHE'S SMART, SHE'S LITERATE. 719 00:29:42,767 --> 00:29:44,333 YOU THINK SHE'D TAKE ME ON AS A CLIENT? 720 00:29:44,367 --> 00:29:45,500 YOU KNOW WHAT? 721 00:29:45,533 --> 00:29:46,600 I'LL CALL HER RIGHT NOW. 722 00:29:46,633 --> 00:29:47,767 YEAH. CALL HER NOW. 723 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:49,100 ALL GOOD? 724 00:29:49,133 --> 00:29:51,067 OKAY. I DON'T KNOW. 725 00:29:51,067 --> 00:29:52,233 ALL RIGHT. 726 00:29:52,267 --> 00:29:54,833 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I FEEL. 727 00:29:54,867 --> 00:29:56,167 WELL, IT'S KIND OF AN OLDER PICTURE, 728 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:58,200 BUT IT'S ME. 729 00:30:02,700 --> 00:30:04,300 CAN I SPEAK TO CAPTAIN WILLIAMS? 730 00:30:04,333 --> 00:30:06,433 CAPTAIN WILLIAMS, ALICE PIZZECKI'S HERE. 731 00:30:06,467 --> 00:30:07,500 OH, IT'S PIESZECKI. 732 00:30:07,533 --> 00:30:09,500 LIKE, PI-AH-ZECKI. 733 00:30:09,533 --> 00:30:10,833 SHE SAID YOU'RE EXPECTING HER. 734 00:30:10,867 --> 00:30:12,533 WELL, SHE'S NOT EXACTLY EXPECTING ME. 735 00:30:12,567 --> 00:30:13,533 IT'S MORE OF A... 736 00:30:13,567 --> 00:30:14,833 YOU KNOW... 737 00:30:14,867 --> 00:30:18,900 SURPRISE? YES, MA'AM. 738 00:30:18,933 --> 00:30:19,000 GO THROUGH THE GATE, STRAIGHT DOWN THIS ROAD. 739 00:30:21,233 --> 00:30:22,700 MAKE A LEFT AT THE FLAGPOLE. 740 00:30:22,733 --> 00:30:24,800 CAPTAIN WILLIAMS' OFFICE IS IN THE BUILDING 741 00:30:24,833 --> 00:30:26,667 MARKED 542nd MILITARY POLICE. 742 00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:28,167 PARK NEXT TO HER MOTORCYCLE. 743 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,100 SIR, YES, SIR. 744 00:30:30,133 --> 00:30:31,067 IT'S "SERGEANT." 745 00:30:31,100 --> 00:30:32,900 SERGEANT. 746 00:30:34,033 --> 00:30:35,367 OKAY. 747 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,933 THAT'S A COOL BELT. 748 00:30:45,867 --> 00:30:46,900 [KNOCKING] 749 00:30:46,933 --> 00:30:47,933 [BUBBLY]: HI! 750 00:30:47,967 --> 00:30:49,533 THIS IS SO NEAT! 751 00:30:49,567 --> 00:30:50,833 THERE WAS, LIKE, A GUY WITH A-- 752 00:30:50,867 --> 00:30:52,400 LOWER YOUR VOICE. 753 00:30:52,433 --> 00:30:53,933 OKAY. 754 00:30:53,967 --> 00:30:55,433 I JUST-- I WOULD'VE CALLED. 755 00:30:55,467 --> 00:30:56,867 I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THAT. I JUST-- 756 00:30:56,900 --> 00:30:58,333 I THOUGHT YOU WOULD TELL ME NOT TO COME-- 757 00:30:58,367 --> 00:30:59,867 CLOSE THE DOOR. 758 00:31:03,067 --> 00:31:04,400 OKAY. 759 00:31:05,633 --> 00:31:06,933 I'M NOT GOING TO ASK ANYBODY 760 00:31:06,967 --> 00:31:08,300 OR TELL ANYBODY ANYTHING. 761 00:31:08,333 --> 00:31:09,733 I'M SERIOUS. 762 00:31:09,767 --> 00:31:11,867 OKAY. SORRY. 763 00:31:13,167 --> 00:31:15,067 WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR? 764 00:31:15,100 --> 00:31:16,933 UM, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT-- 765 00:31:16,967 --> 00:31:18,300 PUT DOWN THE GRENADE. 766 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,667 I WANTED TO TELL YOU, UH, 767 00:31:25,700 --> 00:31:29,100 THAT I REALLY LIKE YOU. 768 00:31:29,133 --> 00:31:31,700 SO YOU DROVE ALL THE WAY FROM L.A. TO LOS ALAMITOS, 769 00:31:31,733 --> 00:31:34,067 TALKED YOUR WAY ONTO A MILITARY BASE 770 00:31:34,067 --> 00:31:36,900 TO TELL ME YOU REALLY LIKE ME. 771 00:31:36,933 --> 00:31:38,200 YEAH, I... 772 00:31:38,233 --> 00:31:42,233 I WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT A PORTAL TO ME. 773 00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:43,367 OH, MY... PORTAL? WHAT THE FUCK? 774 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:44,367 DID PAPI TALK TO YOU? 775 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:45,733 IT DOESN'T MATTER, 776 00:31:45,767 --> 00:31:48,067 BECAUSE I TALK ABOUT PORTALS ALL THE TIME ON MY RADIO SHOW. 777 00:31:48,067 --> 00:31:50,567 EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT IT. 778 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,167 I JUST, YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T WANT IT 779 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,667 TO COME BACK AND BITE ME IN THE ASS WITH YOU, SO... 780 00:31:54,700 --> 00:31:56,433 I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK 781 00:31:56,467 --> 00:31:58,300 THAT YOU ARE MY FORAY 782 00:31:58,333 --> 00:32:00,367 INTO THE LAND OF HOT ARMY CHICKS. 783 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:01,900 YEAH, HOT BLACK ARMY CHICKS. 784 00:32:01,933 --> 00:32:03,200 ARE YOU BLACK? 785 00:32:03,233 --> 00:32:05,367 [LAUGHING] 786 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:06,400 [CHUCKLES] 787 00:32:06,433 --> 00:32:07,467 ALL RIGHT. 788 00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:17,133 SO YOU'RE HERE. 789 00:32:17,167 --> 00:32:18,567 YOU UP FOR A MISSION? 790 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,567 PRIVATE PIESZECKI REPORTING FOR DUTY, MA'AM. 791 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:22,900 [SNICKERING] 792 00:32:22,933 --> 00:32:24,933 COME WITH ME. 793 00:32:26,833 --> 00:32:29,633 AND YOU DON'T SALUTE INDOORS. 794 00:32:29,667 --> 00:32:31,333 OH. 795 00:32:34,267 --> 00:32:37,200 SO DO THEY MAKE YOU WEAR THAT EVERY DAY? 796 00:32:37,233 --> 00:32:39,400 WHO MAKES YOU WEAR THAT EVERY DAY? 797 00:32:39,433 --> 00:32:40,700 [PLAYFUL GASP] 798 00:32:42,833 --> 00:32:44,333 AT EASE. 799 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,633 WOW, IT'S REALLY... IT'S LIKE G.I. JANE. 800 00:32:49,667 --> 00:32:52,567 DO YOU LADIES FLY THIS? 801 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,067 ALICE, THESE ARE OUR PILOTS, 802 00:32:54,067 --> 00:32:55,900 CHIEF BERMAN, CHIEF THOMAS, 803 00:32:55,933 --> 00:32:57,200 CHIEF FULLER, 804 00:32:57,233 --> 00:32:59,533 AND OUR CREW CHIEF, SOCHYNSKY. 805 00:33:00,700 --> 00:33:02,633 YOU'LL NEED THIS. 806 00:33:02,667 --> 00:33:04,567 WHAT FOR? 807 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:05,700 YOU'LL NEED THOSE 808 00:33:05,733 --> 00:33:08,400 IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET IN THAT. 809 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:12,700 UP? 810 00:33:12,733 --> 00:33:13,967 REALLY? 811 00:33:14,067 --> 00:33:15,200 [LAUGHS] 812 00:33:15,233 --> 00:33:16,500 YEAH. 813 00:33:16,533 --> 00:33:17,700 OKAY. 814 00:33:17,733 --> 00:33:21,333 * SEX AND FASHION AND MONEY 815 00:33:21,367 --> 00:33:22,267 * NOBODY KNOWS... 816 00:33:22,300 --> 00:33:23,867 NO. 817 00:33:23,900 --> 00:33:25,567 IT'S TOO WILLFULLY DEFIANT. 818 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,367 * SEX AND FASHION AND MONEY 819 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,500 IT'S TOO PUBLIC SCHOOL GIRL. 820 00:33:31,167 --> 00:33:33,567 NO, TOO MANY BUTTONS. 821 00:33:34,933 --> 00:33:36,467 TOO SOUND OF MUSIC. 822 00:33:37,900 --> 00:33:39,733 I'VE LOST WEIGHT! 823 00:33:39,767 --> 00:33:41,067 * ONLY SEX, SEX, SEX! 824 00:33:41,067 --> 00:33:43,900 YEAH. 825 00:33:43,933 --> 00:33:47,567 IT SAYS, "I'M HERE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT, 826 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:52,700 BUT I STILL HAVE MY SELF-RESPECT." 827 00:33:52,733 --> 00:33:54,533 * ALL RIGHT 828 00:33:54,567 --> 00:33:56,733 FANTASTIC. 829 00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:58,933 [ALICE]: AREN'T YOU GOING TO 830 00:33:58,967 --> 00:34:00,433 GET COURT-MARTIALED FOR THIS? 831 00:34:00,467 --> 00:34:02,300 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 832 00:34:06,833 --> 00:34:09,367 WE'RE ALL FAMILY UP HERE. 833 00:34:11,867 --> 00:34:13,433 O...KAY. 834 00:34:13,467 --> 00:34:15,300 TRICKY SOLDIERS. 835 00:34:15,333 --> 00:34:16,533 [ALL CHUCKLING] 836 00:34:16,567 --> 00:34:19,467 YEAH, THIS IS THE "ASK AND TELL" HELICOPTER. 837 00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:21,067 WHOO-HOO! 838 00:34:21,100 --> 00:34:24,233 DON'T TRY THIS ANYPLACE ELSE ON THE BASE. 839 00:34:24,267 --> 00:34:27,067 YEAH, I SEE IT NOW. 840 00:34:27,067 --> 00:34:28,867 [ALL LAUGHING] 841 00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:31,633 ALL RIGHT, LET'S TAKE IT UP. 842 00:34:35,733 --> 00:34:38,467 OH, MY GOD! 843 00:34:39,900 --> 00:34:42,767 [ALICE SQUEALING] 844 00:34:50,167 --> 00:34:52,867 IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. 845 00:35:15,733 --> 00:35:18,067 HELLO? 846 00:35:22,067 --> 00:35:24,600 HELLO? 847 00:35:24,633 --> 00:35:26,500 LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN, HELENA. 848 00:35:28,433 --> 00:35:30,733 I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME. 849 00:35:30,767 --> 00:35:34,367 I DIDN'T REALLY THINK I HAD AN ALTERNATIVE. 850 00:35:38,067 --> 00:35:41,167 SO I GUESS YOU'D LIKE TO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS? 851 00:35:51,067 --> 00:35:53,533 YOU WANT TO PLAY CARDS WITH ME? 852 00:35:53,567 --> 00:35:55,900 I THOUGHT I ALREADY LOST. 853 00:35:55,933 --> 00:35:57,500 I'M GIVING YOU ANOTHER CHANCE. 854 00:35:57,533 --> 00:35:58,933 WE'RE GOING TO PLAY GIN RUMMY. 855 00:35:58,967 --> 00:36:00,100 GIN RUMMY? 856 00:36:00,133 --> 00:36:01,600 STRIP GIN RUMMY. 857 00:36:01,633 --> 00:36:02,600 IF YOU WIN, 858 00:36:02,633 --> 00:36:04,167 I'LL CONSIDER YOUR DEBT PAID IN FULL, 859 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,733 BUT IF YOU LOSE, YOU PAY UP. 860 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:31,267 I THINK THAT WAS ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITE DAYS EVER. 861 00:36:31,300 --> 00:36:33,167 YEAH. ME TOO. 862 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:34,433 YOU KNOW WHAT? 863 00:36:34,467 --> 00:36:35,733 ACTUALLY, I'M GLAD 864 00:36:35,767 --> 00:36:38,900 THAT PAPI RAN HER BIG-ASS MOUTH THIS MORNING. 865 00:36:55,900 --> 00:36:57,833 HOW CLOSE DO YOU LIVE TO HERE? 866 00:36:57,867 --> 00:36:59,367 PRETTY NEAR. 867 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:00,567 YEAH? DO YOU THINK 868 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,600 WE SHOULD GO TO YOUR PLACE? 869 00:37:05,433 --> 00:37:08,400 I THINK YOU SHOULD GO HOME. 870 00:37:08,433 --> 00:37:10,533 I SHOULD? 871 00:37:12,700 --> 00:37:14,867 YEAH. 872 00:37:17,867 --> 00:37:20,233 LOOK, YOU KNOW I WANT TO, RIGHT? 873 00:37:20,267 --> 00:37:23,433 OH, IT SURE FEELS LIKE YOU DO, BUT... 874 00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:25,867 LOOK, I KNOW THIS MIGHT NOT 875 00:37:25,900 --> 00:37:27,867 MAKE A LOT OF SENSE THE WAY YOU ROLL, 876 00:37:27,900 --> 00:37:30,433 BUT I'M JUST COMING FROM A PLACE 877 00:37:30,467 --> 00:37:33,467 WHERE I REALLY NEED TO BE SURE. 878 00:37:34,633 --> 00:37:35,700 OKAY, WELL, 879 00:37:35,733 --> 00:37:38,800 HOW DO YOU THINK YOU'D BE SURE? 880 00:37:38,833 --> 00:37:42,167 I DON'T KNOW. I'M JUST NOT THERE YET. 881 00:37:52,367 --> 00:37:53,633 DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD 882 00:37:53,667 --> 00:37:55,567 GO ON A DATE? 883 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,467 [LAUGHING] 884 00:37:57,500 --> 00:37:59,700 A DATE? 885 00:37:59,733 --> 00:38:02,367 YEAH, THAT WOULD BE NICE. 886 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:03,467 OKAY. 887 00:38:03,500 --> 00:38:06,500 ALL RIGHT, WE'LL GO ON A DATE. 888 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:12,867 I STILL THINK 889 00:38:12,900 --> 00:38:14,900 THESE ARE YOUR OWN MADE-UP RULES, CATHERINE. 890 00:38:14,933 --> 00:38:17,200 NO, THIS IS THE MONTE CARLO WAY. 891 00:38:17,233 --> 00:38:19,067 WHEN SOMEONE WINS, THE OTHER TAKES SOMETHING OFF, 892 00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:20,633 AND THE WINNER GETS TO PUT SOMETHING BACK ON. 893 00:38:20,667 --> 00:38:22,133 THAT WAY, THE GAME LASTS LONGER. 894 00:38:22,167 --> 00:38:24,233 I'VE BEEN TO MONTE CARLO, CATHERINE. 895 00:38:24,267 --> 00:38:27,100 I DIDN'T SEE A SINGLE GAME OF GIN RUMMY. 896 00:38:27,133 --> 00:38:28,767 OKAY, SO THEY ARE MY RULES. 897 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:30,767 WOULD YOU RATHER FUCK ME NOW? 898 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:32,200 NO. 899 00:38:32,233 --> 00:38:33,633 GOOD. 900 00:38:33,667 --> 00:38:36,233 I'M KNOCKING. 901 00:38:36,267 --> 00:38:38,567 [PUTS CARDS ON TABLE] 902 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,433 SHIT. 903 00:38:40,467 --> 00:38:41,700 THAT'S, UH, 904 00:38:41,733 --> 00:38:44,900 23 FOR ME... 905 00:38:44,933 --> 00:38:48,300 AND MINUS 27 FOR YOU, 906 00:38:48,333 --> 00:38:49,733 AND AN ARTICLE OF CLOTHING. 907 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:12,600 IT'S YOUR DEAL. 908 00:39:12,633 --> 00:39:15,133 [CHUCKLES] 909 00:39:17,467 --> 00:39:19,200 YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY LOVING THIS, 910 00:39:19,233 --> 00:39:20,667 AREN'T YOU? 911 00:39:20,700 --> 00:39:22,867 I DO ENJOY WINNING, YES. 912 00:39:22,900 --> 00:39:24,600 YOU HAVEN'T WON YET. 913 00:39:24,633 --> 00:39:26,633 NOT YET. 914 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,667 GIN. 915 00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:31,767 GLOATING BECOMES YOU. 916 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,433 YOU'RE STALLING. 917 00:39:33,467 --> 00:39:36,367 I WAS MERELY SAVORING THE MOMENT. 918 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:37,833 AND SIX, 919 00:39:37,867 --> 00:39:39,133 AND THAT MAKES... 920 00:39:39,167 --> 00:39:41,533 503. 921 00:39:42,967 --> 00:39:44,067 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 922 00:39:44,067 --> 00:39:45,300 IT'S A PLEASURE 923 00:39:45,333 --> 00:39:47,700 DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU, CATHERINE. 924 00:39:47,733 --> 00:39:48,700 CONGRATULATIONS. 925 00:39:48,733 --> 00:39:50,433 YOU'RE A FREE WOMAN. 926 00:39:50,467 --> 00:39:52,867 AREN'T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING? 927 00:40:05,233 --> 00:40:07,800 [PANTIES HIT FLOOR] 928 00:40:14,667 --> 00:40:18,467 * MY FAIREST QUEEN 929 00:40:18,500 --> 00:40:21,100 SIT DOWN. 930 00:40:23,033 --> 00:40:28,767 * OH, MY DEAREST DREAM 931 00:40:31,633 --> 00:40:34,133 [MAN]: SO NOW WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT TOLERANCE. 932 00:40:34,167 --> 00:40:36,333 WHO HERE CAN TELL ME 933 00:40:36,367 --> 00:40:37,967 WHAT TOLERANCE MEANS? 934 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:39,467 SARAH. 935 00:40:39,500 --> 00:40:41,667 WHEN YOU'RE NICE TO PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT FROM YOU. 936 00:40:41,700 --> 00:40:42,767 GOOD, SARAH. 937 00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:44,533 SO WHEN SOMEBODY'S DIFFERENT FROM YOU 938 00:40:44,567 --> 00:40:47,300 BECAUSE OF THEIR RACE, OR THEIR CULTURE, 939 00:40:47,333 --> 00:40:49,833 OR THEIR RELIGION OR THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION, 940 00:40:49,867 --> 00:40:52,600 YOU TREAT THAT PERSON WITH RESPECT. 941 00:40:52,633 --> 00:40:53,633 EXCUSE ME. 942 00:40:53,667 --> 00:40:54,733 HOW DETAILED 943 00:40:54,767 --> 00:40:56,000 ARE WE PLANNING ON GETTING HERE? 944 00:40:56,033 --> 00:40:57,300 I MEAN, THESE CHILDREN 945 00:40:57,333 --> 00:40:58,267 ARE ONLY NINE. 946 00:40:58,300 --> 00:41:00,200 THIS WOMAN IS A PAIN IN THE ASS. 947 00:41:00,233 --> 00:41:01,333 JUST WAIT AND SEE WHAT SHE SAYS. 948 00:41:01,367 --> 00:41:02,367 WHAT IS YOUR CONCERN, 949 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:03,567 MRS. GREIF? 950 00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,100 I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S APPROPRIATE 951 00:41:05,133 --> 00:41:06,667 THAT WE DISCUSS THE DETAILS 952 00:41:06,700 --> 00:41:08,067 OF MS. McCUTCHEON 953 00:41:08,067 --> 00:41:09,533 AND MS. SOBEL'S RELATIONSHIP HERE. 954 00:41:09,567 --> 00:41:10,667 YOU'RE ACTUALLY 955 00:41:10,700 --> 00:41:12,900 THE ONLY ONE TALKING DETAILS. 956 00:41:12,933 --> 00:41:14,600 LOOK, WE ALL RESPECT YOUR RIGHT 957 00:41:14,633 --> 00:41:15,967 TO BE WHO YOU ARE IN PRIVATE. 958 00:41:16,067 --> 00:41:17,433 WE JUST DON'T THINK OUR CHILDREN 959 00:41:17,467 --> 00:41:19,200 NEED TO LEARN ABOUT THE GAY LIFESTYLE YET. 960 00:41:19,233 --> 00:41:21,067 SCREW YOU. MY MOM'S NOT GAY. 961 00:41:21,067 --> 00:41:22,667 [KIDS LAUGHING] 962 00:41:22,700 --> 00:41:24,067 JARED, THAT'S ENOUGH. 963 00:41:24,100 --> 00:41:28,067 PLEASE, EVERYBODY, LET'S JUST CALM DOWN. 964 00:41:28,067 --> 00:41:30,667 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE, SHAY? 965 00:41:30,700 --> 00:41:32,800 MY SISTER... 966 00:41:32,833 --> 00:41:35,067 IS GAY. 967 00:41:43,367 --> 00:41:45,467 [TOM]: HEY. 968 00:41:47,733 --> 00:41:50,667 HEY. 969 00:41:50,700 --> 00:41:53,700 I MISSED YOU LAST NIGHT. 970 00:41:55,067 --> 00:41:56,367 I BET YOU DIDN'T MISS ME. 971 00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:59,867 I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 972 00:42:01,300 --> 00:42:03,300 DO YOU NEED ME? 973 00:42:04,967 --> 00:42:06,700 I'M GONNA... 974 00:42:06,733 --> 00:42:09,433 GO HAVE A WALK AROUND CAMPUS, I GUESS. 975 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:12,800 [DEEP SIGHING] 976 00:42:12,833 --> 00:42:14,433 I'VE BEEN THINKING. 977 00:42:14,467 --> 00:42:17,633 I KNOW YOU HAVE. 978 00:42:17,667 --> 00:42:19,900 YEAH, I DON'T THINK THIS IS GOING TO WORK FOR ME. 979 00:42:19,933 --> 00:42:22,300 I'M SORRY, I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU. 980 00:42:22,333 --> 00:42:24,400 YES, YOU CAN. 981 00:42:26,533 --> 00:42:30,567 LOOK. 982 00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:35,400 IT'S NOT LIKE I'M DATING A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER WOMEN, 983 00:42:35,433 --> 00:42:37,067 BETTE. 984 00:42:37,100 --> 00:42:38,133 IT'S JUST SOMETHING 985 00:42:38,167 --> 00:42:40,600 THAT I KNOW ABOUT MYSELF-- 986 00:42:40,633 --> 00:42:44,733 THAT... IF I GET TIED DOWN, 987 00:42:44,767 --> 00:42:46,567 I GO CRAZY. 988 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,733 SO YOU ARE DATING OTHER WOMEN? 989 00:42:48,767 --> 00:42:51,533 NO, I WAS BEFORE I MET YOU. 990 00:42:51,567 --> 00:42:52,667 YEAH. 991 00:42:52,700 --> 00:42:55,900 BUT THERE REALLY IS NO ONE ELSE 992 00:42:55,933 --> 00:42:59,200 I WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW. 993 00:42:59,233 --> 00:43:01,500 BUT THAT COULD CHANGE TOMORROW. 994 00:43:01,533 --> 00:43:03,500 ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME? 995 00:43:03,533 --> 00:43:06,100 YOU'VE JUST GOTTEN OUT OF AN EIGHT-YEAR RELATIONSHIP. 996 00:43:06,133 --> 00:43:09,167 I DON'T THINK YOU'RE READY TO GET MARRIED AGAIN. 997 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,167 DON'T TELL ME WHAT I'M READY FOR. 998 00:43:12,333 --> 00:43:13,867 OKAY. 999 00:43:13,900 --> 00:43:16,367 I WON'T. 1000 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:19,167 [SIGHING] 1001 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:20,633 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? 1002 00:43:23,500 --> 00:43:25,733 I DON'T KNOW. 1003 00:43:25,767 --> 00:43:27,200 I DON'T KNOW. 1004 00:43:27,233 --> 00:43:29,800 I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. 1005 00:43:29,833 --> 00:43:31,833 COME HERE. 1006 00:43:35,833 --> 00:43:38,800 I... I DON'T KNOW. 1007 00:43:38,833 --> 00:43:40,467 WERE YOU BORN GAY? 1008 00:43:40,500 --> 00:43:41,833 UM, I THINK I WAS, 1009 00:43:41,867 --> 00:43:43,500 BUT IT'S DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE. 1010 00:43:43,533 --> 00:43:44,500 [PAIGE]: YEAH. 1011 00:43:44,533 --> 00:43:45,500 NOT EVERYBODY KNOWS RIGHT AWAY, 1012 00:43:45,533 --> 00:43:47,300 AND SOME PEOPLE 1013 00:43:47,333 --> 00:43:48,867 JUST FALL IN LOVE WITH A PERSON, 1014 00:43:48,900 --> 00:43:49,867 AND THAT PERSON 1015 00:43:49,900 --> 00:43:51,533 COULD BE A MAN OR A WOMAN. 1016 00:43:51,567 --> 00:43:54,100 YEAH, BUT HOW DO GIRLS DO IT? 1017 00:43:54,133 --> 00:43:55,133 [LAUGHTER] 1018 00:43:55,167 --> 00:43:57,700 UM... 1019 00:43:57,733 --> 00:43:58,867 HAILIE'S UNCLE JEFF IS GAY. 1020 00:43:58,900 --> 00:44:00,200 SO'S MY UNCLE PHIL. 1021 00:44:00,233 --> 00:44:01,967 THAT'S MY BROTHER'S BOYFRIEND. 1022 00:44:02,067 --> 00:44:03,867 NOW, THEY'RE BOTH GREAT GUYS AND HAILIE REALLY LOVES THEM, 1023 00:44:03,900 --> 00:44:05,067 BUT THEY INVITED HER TO COME 1024 00:44:05,067 --> 00:44:07,067 AND STAY WITH THEM FOR THE WEEKEND, 1025 00:44:07,067 --> 00:44:08,367 AND I'M JUST NOT SURE I'M COMFORTABLE 1026 00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:09,600 WITH HER SLEEPING IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH THEM. 1027 00:44:09,633 --> 00:44:11,533 WAIT A MINUTE. 1028 00:44:11,567 --> 00:44:12,733 I JUST REALIZED WHO YOU ARE. 1029 00:44:12,767 --> 00:44:14,400 YOU'RE IN THAT NEARLY NAKED, 1030 00:44:14,433 --> 00:44:15,100 GENDER-BENDING UNDERWEAR AD, 1031 00:44:15,133 --> 00:44:16,300 THAT HUGE BILLBOARD 1032 00:44:16,333 --> 00:44:17,867 UP ON SUNSET THAT I HAVE TO DRIVE BY 1033 00:44:17,900 --> 00:44:19,200 WITH MY CHILDREN EVERY DAY. 1034 00:44:19,233 --> 00:44:20,600 I DON'T REALLY THINK 1035 00:44:20,633 --> 00:44:22,167 MS. McCUTCHEON OWES US AN EXPLANATION-- 1036 00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,333 NO, IT'S FINE. 1037 00:44:23,367 --> 00:44:24,567 AND I REALLY DON'T THINK-- 1038 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:28,933 GUESS WHAT? I CAN GIVE AN EXPLANATION. 1039 00:44:28,967 --> 00:44:31,133 FIRST OFF, 1040 00:44:31,167 --> 00:44:32,300 I'M GOING TO ASSUME 1041 00:44:32,333 --> 00:44:33,267 EVERYONE WEARS UNDERPANTS. 1042 00:44:34,467 --> 00:44:36,300 AND SECONDLY... 1043 00:44:36,333 --> 00:44:37,967 [CLEARING THROAT] 1044 00:44:38,067 --> 00:44:39,400 I DID THAT AD 1045 00:44:39,433 --> 00:44:40,800 BECAUSE SHAY BROKE HIS ARM. 1046 00:44:40,833 --> 00:44:43,067 YOU SEE, I'M ACTUALLY A HAIRDRESSER, 1047 00:44:43,100 --> 00:44:46,633 AND I CO-OWN A SKATEBOARD SHOP, 1048 00:44:46,667 --> 00:44:48,367 SO I DON'T MAKE A LOT OF MONEY, 1049 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,067 AND I DIDN'T HAVE MEDICAL INSURANCE 1050 00:44:50,067 --> 00:44:51,567 AT THE TIME, 1051 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:54,933 BECAUSE BEFORE SHAY CAME TO LIVE WITH ME, 1052 00:44:54,967 --> 00:44:59,200 I NEVER TOOK RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING. 1053 00:44:59,233 --> 00:45:03,367 YOU SEE, WHEN, UH... WHEN I WAS LITTLE, 1054 00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:04,767 MY PARENTS LEFT ME, 1055 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,067 AND THE THOUGHT 1056 00:45:06,067 --> 00:45:07,867 OF HAVING TO CARE FOR SOMEONE, 1057 00:45:07,900 --> 00:45:10,233 WELL... 1058 00:45:10,267 --> 00:45:12,467 IT WAS SCARY, 1059 00:45:12,500 --> 00:45:15,100 BUT I DON'T THINK I HAVE TO TELL YOU 1060 00:45:15,133 --> 00:45:19,867 THAT LOVING SHAY AND CARING FOR HIM 1061 00:45:19,900 --> 00:45:23,767 HAS BEEN THE MOST AMAZING AND IMPORTANT THING 1062 00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:24,933 I'VE EVER DONE. 1063 00:45:26,233 --> 00:45:28,267 I WOULDN'T TRADE IT 1064 00:45:28,300 --> 00:45:30,933 FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD, 1065 00:45:30,967 --> 00:45:35,367 AND I DON'T THINK BEING GAY HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT. 1066 00:45:38,333 --> 00:45:40,067 SO, UH... 1067 00:45:40,100 --> 00:45:41,400 [CLAPS HANDS] 1068 00:45:41,433 --> 00:45:44,100 DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE QUESTIONS? 1069 00:45:44,133 --> 00:45:45,200 WHAT WAS IT REALLY? 1070 00:45:45,233 --> 00:45:46,600 IT WAS PENELOPE CRUZ. 1071 00:45:46,633 --> 00:45:48,467 NO, IT WAS MELANIE GRIFFITH. 1072 00:45:48,500 --> 00:45:50,467 YOU'RE RIGHT. 1073 00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:51,300 TO LEZ GIRLS! 1074 00:45:51,333 --> 00:45:52,367 YES! 1075 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:53,633 AND THE BIDDING WAR OF THE YEAR. 1076 00:45:53,667 --> 00:45:54,767 SALUT. 1077 00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:56,433 IS IT REALLY THE BIDDING WAR OF THE YEAR? 1078 00:45:56,467 --> 00:45:58,900 FINE LINE, FOCUS, SEARCHLIGHT, AND WARNER, 1079 00:45:58,933 --> 00:46:00,100 ALL COMING TO THE TABLE. 1080 00:46:00,133 --> 00:46:01,167 I'M FEELING... 1081 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:02,767 SEVEN FIGURES. THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY 1082 00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,267 IS DROOLING OVER YOUR BOOK, BABE. 1083 00:46:05,300 --> 00:46:06,433 I MEAN, JUST DROOLING. 1084 00:46:06,467 --> 00:46:08,067 KATIE HOLMES CALLED. HER PEOPLE CALLED ME. 1085 00:46:08,067 --> 00:46:09,567 SHE'S INTERESTED IN PLAYING JESSIE. 1086 00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:10,967 UH... I DON'T KNOW. 1087 00:46:11,067 --> 00:46:12,500 I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT JESSIE 1088 00:46:12,533 --> 00:46:15,067 WOULD BE KIND OF LIKE A--LIKE A MODEL, 1089 00:46:15,100 --> 00:46:16,767 REALLY BLONDE AND TALL. 1090 00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:18,733 [JOE]: WHAT ABOUT SCARLETT JOHANSSON? 1091 00:46:18,767 --> 00:46:20,067 SHE'D BE AN AWESOME JESSIE. 1092 00:46:20,067 --> 00:46:21,067 HI. 1093 00:46:21,067 --> 00:46:22,100 JENNY. 1094 00:46:22,133 --> 00:46:24,100 [SOTTO]: FUCK! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. 1095 00:46:24,133 --> 00:46:25,467 WHAT WAS THE THING-- 1096 00:46:25,500 --> 00:46:27,167 GOOD TO SEE YOU. GOOD TO SEE YOU ALL TOGETHER. 1097 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:33,867 YOU GUYS, YOU SHOULD... UH... 1098 00:46:33,900 --> 00:46:36,233 SHAOLIN NEEDS TO BE ADDED TO THE BIDDING WAR. 1099 00:46:36,267 --> 00:46:37,400 THE BIDDING WAR? YEAH. 1100 00:46:37,433 --> 00:46:38,533 THIS, UH-- 1101 00:46:38,567 --> 00:46:40,667 THIS EXCITING THING HAS HAPPENED. 1102 00:46:40,700 --> 00:46:42,333 UM, ALL THESE COMPANIES 1103 00:46:42,367 --> 00:46:43,700 ARE BIDDING ON MY BOOK, 1104 00:46:43,733 --> 00:46:45,267 BUT, YOU GUYS, TINA SHOULD GET IT. 1105 00:46:45,300 --> 00:46:47,067 ABSOLUTELY. 1106 00:46:47,100 --> 00:46:48,800 THAT'S GREAT. 1107 00:47:01,933 --> 00:47:03,667 [KEYS CLACKING] 1108 00:47:14,633 --> 00:47:16,800 [BETTE SIGHING] 1109 00:47:20,333 --> 00:47:21,533 I CANNOT BELIEVE 1110 00:47:21,567 --> 00:47:23,200 SHAY GOT TO SLEEP SO EARLY. 1111 00:47:23,233 --> 00:47:25,900 WELL, THEY HAD A BIG DAY. 1112 00:47:27,300 --> 00:47:28,600 AND I CANNOT BELIEVE 1113 00:47:28,633 --> 00:47:30,667 THAT YOU INVITED THE ENTIRE CLASS 1114 00:47:30,700 --> 00:47:32,100 FOR A FIELD TRIP TO WAX. 1115 00:47:32,133 --> 00:47:33,900 I DID NOT INVITE THAT ENTIRE CLASS! 1116 00:47:33,933 --> 00:47:35,567 THAT WOMAN PUSHED ME INTO IT. 1117 00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,133 IT'S NOT MY KIND OF IDEA. 1118 00:47:39,067 --> 00:47:40,067 NO WAY. 1119 00:47:40,067 --> 00:47:41,300 JARED'S WELCOME TO STAY HERE TONIGHT 1120 00:47:41,333 --> 00:47:43,767 IF YOU...THINK HE'S TOO TIRED. 1121 00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:45,400 OH, THANKS. 1122 00:47:45,433 --> 00:47:47,067 THAT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA. 1123 00:47:47,100 --> 00:47:49,733 I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A COUPLE OF BEERS. 1124 00:47:49,767 --> 00:47:51,100 YEAH. 1125 00:47:51,133 --> 00:47:53,400 PLEASE. 1126 00:47:53,433 --> 00:47:57,433 [BOTTLES CLINK] 1127 00:47:57,467 --> 00:47:59,800 YEAH, UM, TODAY WAS... 1128 00:47:59,833 --> 00:48:03,567 TODAY WAS INTENSE. 1129 00:48:08,067 --> 00:48:10,067 WELL, UM, 1130 00:48:10,100 --> 00:48:11,667 YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? 1131 00:48:11,700 --> 00:48:16,433 SINCE WE ALREADY DID THE TIME... 1132 00:48:16,467 --> 00:48:19,467 WE MIGHT AS WELL DO THE CRIME. 1133 00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:22,367 [LAUGHING] 1134 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,067 [SITS BOTTLE DOWN] 1135 00:48:24,067 --> 00:48:26,700 YEAH. 1136 00:48:48,533 --> 00:48:54,600 * DON'T PUT ME OUT TO PASTURE PONY * 1137 00:48:54,633 --> 00:49:00,233 * MAMA WANTS TO RIDE 1138 00:49:00,267 --> 00:49:06,267 * HOW 'BOUT A LITTLE SUGAR SUGAR * 1139 00:49:06,300 --> 00:49:10,533 * FOR MY HUNGRY HIDE 1140 00:49:10,567 --> 00:49:12,067 [LAUGHING] 1141 00:49:12,100 --> 00:49:18,767 * POKE ME IN MY PEN, NOW PIGGIE * 1142 00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,433 [TOILET FLUSHES] 1143 00:49:20,467 --> 00:49:22,267 WHAT? 1144 00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:28,833 ANOTHER TIME. 1145 00:49:28,867 --> 00:49:30,700 ANOTHER TIME. OKAY. 1146 00:49:30,733 --> 00:49:35,567 ANOTHER TIME. OKAY. 1147 00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:35,667 * BARNYARD BRAWL, Y'ALL