1
00:00:10,833 --> 00:00:11,533
PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD...

2
00:00:11,567 --> 00:00:12,400
THIS IS MAX SWEENEY.

3
00:00:12,433 --> 00:00:13,133
NICE
TO MEET YOU.

4
00:00:13,167 --> 00:00:14,033
THAT'S SWEET.

5
00:00:14,067 --> 00:00:15,300
LET ME TEACH YOU
HOW TO BE BAD.

6
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,200
YOU GET TO STAY.

7
00:00:19,233 --> 00:00:20,867
I NEED YOU TO DO
ONE LAST THING FOR ME.

8
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:23,133
HE SENT YOU TO FIRE ME?

9
00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:24,167
IT WAS A POWER TRIP.

10
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:25,200
HE'S A SCUMBAG.

11
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,467
I'VE NEVER HAD
AN ABORTION.

12
00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:28,367
IT MUST BE REALLY HARD.

13
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,367
I FEEL SO SAD FOR ANGUS.

14
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,633
YOU CAN BE SAD
FOR YOURSELF, TOO.

15
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:35,100
YOU'RE PAPI.

16
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:36,367
ACTUALLY,
IT'S PRONOUNCED PAH-PI.

17
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,700
I CAN MAKE A WOMAN COME
JUST BY KISSING HER.

18
00:00:39,733 --> 00:00:41,367
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU WERE GOING TO GO?

19
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,300
HOME.
I'M YOUR HOME NOW, OKAY?

20
00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:44,767
IT'S ILLEGAL TO KEEP
A CHILD OUT OF SCHOOL.

21
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,033
WELL, LET THEM ARREST ME.

22
00:00:46,067 --> 00:00:47,400
YOU PICK A T.A. YET?

23
00:00:47,433 --> 00:00:48,467
NADIA. NADIA KARELLA.

24
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:49,300
YOU'RE THE MOST GLAMOROUS DEAN

25
00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:50,567
THEY'VE HAD IN YEARS.

26
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,200
WE CALL HER
"HEADS-WILL-ROLL KROLL",

27
00:00:52,233 --> 00:00:53,533
BECAUSE SHE FIRES
AT LEAST ONE DEAN A YEAR.

28
00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:54,867
I THINK I'M A LESBIAN, BETTE.

29
00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:56,133
OH.

30
00:00:56,167 --> 00:00:57,133
I ONLY CHOOSE BOOKS TO REVIEW

31
00:00:57,167 --> 00:00:59,533
THAT HOLD
SIGNIFICANCE TO ME.

32
00:00:59,567 --> 00:01:00,600
WHY DOES
SOME OF HER PARTS

33
00:01:00,633 --> 00:01:02,267
HOLD SIGNIFICANCE TO YOU?

34
00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:03,767
MY PARTNER'S A SURVIVOR.

35
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,600
"SELF-INDULGENT
AND SELF-PITYING"?

36
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,700
FUCK YOU, STACEY MERKIN!

37
00:01:08,733 --> 00:01:10,367
FUCK YOU!

38
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,500
[**]

39
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:31,900
STACEY!

40
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:46,067
STACEY!

41
00:01:49,967 --> 00:01:53,300
[**]

42
00:01:53,333 --> 00:02:00,067
* GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES
WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES *

43
00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:06,800
* CHICKS DRIVING FAST
INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES *

44
00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:12,933
* WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE, LUST
WOMEN WHO GIVE *

45
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:19,367
* THIS IS THE WAY
IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *

46
00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:28,200
* TALKING, LAUGHING
LOVING, BREATHING *

47
00:02:28,233 --> 00:02:30,133
* FIGHTING, FUCKING
CRYING, DRINKING *

48
00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:31,500
* WRITING, WINNING
LOSING, CHEATING *

49
00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:33,200
* KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING

50
00:02:33,233 --> 00:02:35,200
* THIS IS THE WAY...

51
00:02:35,233 --> 00:02:38,067
* IT'S THE WAY
THAT WE LIVE *

52
00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:43,600
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE

53
00:02:43,633 --> 00:02:47,333
* AND LOVE

54
00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:51,933
HMM? HMM.

55
00:02:53,433 --> 00:02:55,667
MM-HMM.

56
00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:57,067
OOH! THIS IS THE ONE.

57
00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:58,867
ASSOCIATION OF
AMERICAN UNIVERSITIES

58
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:00,500
DIGITAL TECHNOLOGY
CONFERENCE.

59
00:03:00,533 --> 00:03:01,733
YOU KNOW,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST...

60
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:03,467
TAKE THAT WITH YOU.

61
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,533
JUST FIND OUT
WHO TOOK PART IN THE MEDIA LAB

62
00:03:05,567 --> 00:03:06,667
AND MAKE ME A LIST

63
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,600
WITH THE BIOS
AND CONTACT INFORMATION, OKAY?

64
00:03:08,633 --> 00:03:09,600
DO YOU HAVE A KNOT?

65
00:03:09,633 --> 00:03:11,067
DO YOU NEED ME TO UNLOCK IT?

66
00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:12,233
IT'S-- IT'S OKAY.

67
00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:13,333
NO, REALLY.

68
00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:14,333
IT'S FINE.

69
00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:15,667
OH, WOW.

70
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:18,367
YOU ARE REALLY TIGHT.

71
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:19,433
GOD, DO YOU FEEL THAT?

72
00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:20,467
NADIA, PLEASE--

73
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,733
IT'S RIGHT THERE.

74
00:03:21,767 --> 00:03:22,767
DO YOU WANT ME TO
FIND YOU A BODYWORKER,

75
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,100
BECAUSE, OH, MY GOSH,

76
00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:26,500
I HAVE THE MOST AMAZING
AYURVEDIC HEALER,

77
00:03:26,533 --> 00:03:27,700
AND HE WENT SO DEEP--

78
00:03:27,733 --> 00:03:29,067
I-I-I PREFER A WOMAN.

79
00:03:33,067 --> 00:03:34,233
WELL...

80
00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:36,800
THAT CAN BE ARRANGED,
DEAN PORTER.

81
00:03:39,267 --> 00:03:40,933
ACTUALLY, I'M FINE, NADIA.

82
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:48,067
I JUST, UH...

83
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:49,333
I JUST NEED TO FIND OUT

84
00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:51,133
WHAT CONFERENCES

85
00:03:51,167 --> 00:03:52,200
C.U. HAS HOSTED.

86
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:53,567
I KNOW THAT WE DID

87
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,667
THE GLOBAL SUSTAINABILITY
LAST AUGUST.

88
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:56,667
WHERE DR. GORSHAM

89
00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:58,067
SUSTAINED MULTIPLE HICKEYS

90
00:03:58,067 --> 00:03:59,900
FROM HIS TWO
TEACHING ASSISTANTS.

91
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:03,967
YOU MEAN HE SLEPT
WITH BOTH OF THEM?

92
00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:05,167
DON'T BE SHOCKED.

93
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,800
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

94
00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:08,733
WELL, THAT DOESN'T
MAKE IT ACCEPTABLE.

95
00:04:08,767 --> 00:04:11,167
NO, BUT WE'RE ALL ADULTS,
BETTE.

96
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,900
I MEAN, IN A CLOISTERED
ENVIRONMENT

97
00:04:12,933 --> 00:04:14,300
LIKE A UNIVERSITY,

98
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:16,700
IT WOULD BE ABSURD TO THINK

99
00:04:16,733 --> 00:04:19,700
THAT THERE WEREN'T RELATIONSHIPS
BETWEEN FACULTY AND STUDENTS.

100
00:04:19,733 --> 00:04:24,067
I HADN'T GIVEN IT MUCH THOUGHT,
TO BE HONEST, NADIA.

101
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:25,533
WELL...

102
00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:27,200
I KNOW THE STUDENTS
IN YOUR COLLEGE HAVE.

103
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:31,067
I KNOW AT LEAST 20
WHO WOULD LOVE TO BE WITH YOU.

104
00:04:37,467 --> 00:04:40,333
THAT'S VERY FLATTERING.

105
00:04:42,833 --> 00:04:44,900
I HATE
THAT I'M JUST ONE OF THE PACK.

106
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,933
ALL RIGHT.

107
00:05:10,967 --> 00:05:12,900
LET'S DO THIS.

108
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,400
[MAN]:
I AM GOING TO NEED TO SEE

109
00:05:18,433 --> 00:05:19,400
SOME KIND OF PAPERWORK.

110
00:05:19,433 --> 00:05:21,067
I DON'T HAVE
A BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

111
00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:22,433
L.A.U.S.D. REQUIRES

112
00:05:22,467 --> 00:05:23,867
COMPLETE HEALTH
AND IMMUNIZATION RECORDS.

113
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:25,567
HAS SHAY BEEN VACCINATED?

114
00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:28,533
HAVE YOU BEEN
VACCINATED?

115
00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:29,967
I THINK SO.

116
00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:31,467
DO YOU KNOW THE NAME
OF YOUR DOCTOR?

117
00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:32,967
NO.

118
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:34,567
DID YOU GO
TO A PUBLIC CLINIC?

119
00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:39,067
DOES HE HAVE ANY, UH...
ANY ALLERGIES?

120
00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:42,933
ANY LEARNING DISABILITIES,
PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS?

121
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:44,067
DO YOU?

122
00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:45,600
NAH. DOUBT IT.

123
00:05:45,633 --> 00:05:47,200
LISTEN TO ME.
OVER HERE.

124
00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:48,733
HOW DID HE DO
ON HIS STANFORD 9?

125
00:05:48,767 --> 00:05:50,467
I DON'T HAVE
ANY OF THIS INFORMATION, SO--

126
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:51,933
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME
WHAT YOU DO KNOW--

127
00:05:51,967 --> 00:05:53,067
I'M SORRY
WE'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.

128
00:05:53,100 --> 00:06:02,867
YOU'RE NOT WASTING--
GET YOUR STUFF.

129
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:06,633
MY MOM WAS PROUD OF ME
FOR MY SCORE ON THAT TEST.

130
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,667
HOLD ON.

131
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:17,200
MR. PETERSEN.

132
00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:18,433
LOOK, I'M NOT A--

133
00:06:18,467 --> 00:06:20,667
OKAY, I DON'T...
I DON'T KNOW THAT KID.

134
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:22,933
I MEAN, HE'S MY HALF-BROTHER,
BUT...

135
00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,300
BUT I DON'T KNOW HIM.

136
00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:26,333
DO YOU KNOW
WHERE THE PARENTS ARE?

137
00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:28,700
YEAH, OUR, UH...

138
00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:33,300
OUR FATHER BAILED ON HIM,
WHICH HE ALSO DID TO ME,

139
00:06:33,333 --> 00:06:37,367
AND HIS MOTHER
IS MENTALLY UNFIT.

140
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,267
DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS?

141
00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:39,200
NO.

142
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:40,400
AND BEFORE YOU ASK,

143
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:41,433
I DON'T KNOW WHEN
SHE'LL BE COMING BACK.

144
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:44,600
BUT LISTEN,
I KNOW THIS.

145
00:06:44,633 --> 00:06:46,600
I'M NOT GOING TO LET SHAY
LIVE IN SOME HOMELESS SHELTER

146
00:06:46,633 --> 00:06:48,600
THE WAY I DID WHEN I WAS A KID.

147
00:06:48,633 --> 00:06:49,600
OKAY?

148
00:06:49,633 --> 00:06:50,767
BECAUSE, I MEAN,
THE TRUTH IS

149
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,433
HE'S--

150
00:06:52,467 --> 00:06:54,633
HE'S IN A NICE HOUSE
IN SPAULDING SQUARE,

151
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:56,767
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER
FROM THIS NICE SCHOOL,

152
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,467
AND HE NEEDS TO BE HERE.

153
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,933
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

154
00:07:00,967 --> 00:07:02,700
I MEAN, LISTEN...

155
00:07:02,733 --> 00:07:04,833
I PROMISE YOU,
I WILL--

156
00:07:04,867 --> 00:07:06,333
I'LL GET YOU WHATEVER YOU NEED.

157
00:07:06,367 --> 00:07:07,333
I SWEAR IT.

158
00:07:07,367 --> 00:07:09,933
BUT I'M BEGGING YOU

159
00:07:09,967 --> 00:07:12,400
TO PLEASE JUST LET HIM
GO TO SCHOOL HERE.

160
00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:17,833
PLEASE.

161
00:07:17,867 --> 00:07:20,133
THAT IS SO FUCKING GROSS.

162
00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:21,800
SO I FOUND
AN S. MERKIN.

163
00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:22,833
TUNA.

164
00:07:22,867 --> 00:07:23,900
EW.

165
00:07:23,933 --> 00:07:24,900
IN VAN NUYS,

166
00:07:24,933 --> 00:07:26,067
WHICH, OF COURSE,

167
00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:27,400
IS WHERE THAT VAGINA WAG'S
GOING TO LIVE.

168
00:07:27,433 --> 00:07:28,433
SO--

169
00:07:28,467 --> 00:07:29,433
"VAGINA WAG"?

170
00:07:29,467 --> 00:07:30,433
MERKIN.

171
00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:31,933
OH, MERKIN.
STACEY MERKIN.

172
00:07:31,967 --> 00:07:34,300
SO, UM, I GO
TO THE HOUSE,

173
00:07:34,333 --> 00:07:36,067
AND I'M STANDING
OUT FRONT,

174
00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:38,100
AND I'M, LIKE,
"YO, STACEY!

175
00:07:38,133 --> 00:07:39,700
"COME HERE AND SAY IT
TO MY FUCKING FACE,

176
00:07:39,733 --> 00:07:41,300
YOU FUCKING VAGINA!"

177
00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:43,700
AND SO GUESS WHO
COMES DOWN.

178
00:07:43,733 --> 00:07:45,833
IT'S, LIKE,
THIS LITTLE, LIKE,

179
00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:47,433
90-YEAR-OLD
KOREAN LADY

180
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,067
THAT'S, LIKE,
"LOOK WHAT TIME IT IS.

181
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,367
"IT IS 4:00
IN THE MORNING.

182
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,700
I'M GOING TO CALL
THE POLICE ON YOU!"

183
00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:53,767
YOU WERE YELLING
UNDER HER BALCONY

184
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,067
AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING?

185
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,367
I WAS, BUT DID YOU
READ THE REVIEW?

186
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,733
YES.

187
00:07:57,767 --> 00:07:59,067
IT WAS FUNDAMENTALLY
DISHONEST, SO...

188
00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:00,933
OH, YEAH. I MEAN, YEAH.

189
00:08:00,967 --> 00:08:02,400
I MEAN, LESBIANS
LOVE TO EAT THEIR OWN.

190
00:08:02,433 --> 00:08:03,967
IT'S TRUE.

191
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,233
AND THE THING IS,

192
00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:07,267
THE VAGINA'S GIRLFRIEND
WAS MOLESTED,

193
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:08,867
AND NOW SHE'S, LIKE,
THIS PERFECT SAINT,

194
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:10,167
WHICH IS AWESOME,

195
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,667
AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS ABUSED,

196
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,200
AND I'M, LIKE,
THIS FUCKED-UP NITWIT.

197
00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:16,900
BUT THAT'S MY EXPERIENCE,
AND THAT'S MINE,

198
00:08:16,933 --> 00:08:18,633
AND I DON'T KNOW
WHY SHE'S SLAMMING ME

199
00:08:18,667 --> 00:08:20,567
FOR MY OWN EXPERIENCE,
YOU KNOW?

200
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,600
RIGHT. I GET IT.

201
00:08:21,633 --> 00:08:22,767
I TOTALLY GET IT.

202
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:23,933
I'M JUST SAYING
I THINK YOU SHOULD LET IT GO.

203
00:08:23,967 --> 00:08:24,933
IT'S A TINY MAGAZINE.

204
00:08:24,967 --> 00:08:25,900
I MEAN, WHO READS IT?

205
00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:27,233
I WILL LET IT GO.

206
00:08:27,267 --> 00:08:28,667
AND DIDN'T ELLE
SAY SOMETHING GREAT

207
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:31,400
ABOUT, WHAT,
"REFRESHINGLY LITERATE"?

208
00:08:31,433 --> 00:08:32,433
THAT'S HUGE.

209
00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:33,767
THAT'S ELLE.

210
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:34,933
CONCENTRATE
ON THAT.

211
00:08:34,967 --> 00:08:35,933
RIGHT.

212
00:08:35,967 --> 00:08:36,933
I'LL LET IT GO.

213
00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:38,067
CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

214
00:08:38,067 --> 00:08:39,933
WHAT?

215
00:08:39,967 --> 00:08:41,067
I MET PAPI.

216
00:08:41,067 --> 00:08:42,667
NO! WHAT HAPPENED?

217
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:44,667
OH, THE LEGEND TRANSCENDS.

218
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:46,733
SHE'S A WALKING,
LIVING, BREATHING LOTHARIO.

219
00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:48,067
AND?
AND I TOTALLY FELL FOR IT.

220
00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:48,967
WHAT DID YOU DO?

221
00:08:49,067 --> 00:08:50,200
UM, WELL, YOU KNOW--

222
00:08:50,233 --> 00:08:51,333
DID YOU FUCK HER?

223
00:08:51,367 --> 00:08:52,233
YEAH--
OH, MY GOD.

224
00:08:52,267 --> 00:08:53,367
OKAY, WE WERE IN THE BACK

225
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,667
OF THIS
SUPER-TRICKED-OUT STRETCH.

226
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:55,833
UH-HUH.
IT WAS HOT.

227
00:08:55,867 --> 00:08:57,267
SHE WAS FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE.

228
00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:58,400
WAS SHE GOOD?
YEAH.

229
00:08:58,433 --> 00:08:59,667
SHE'S BEEN WITH
A LOT OF GIRLS, SO--

230
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:00,833
LIKE SHANE?

231
00:09:00,867 --> 00:09:02,300
NO, MORE THAN SHANE.
OH, MY GOD.

232
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,800
OKAY, TO GIVE YOU
AN EXAMPLE...

233
00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:05,633
I WASN'T SURE
IF I SHOULD TELL YOU,

234
00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:08,967
BUT SHE WAS, UH,
WITH HELENA THE SAME DAY.

235
00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:10,167
WELL, THE MORNING
OF THE NIGHT AFTER

236
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,833
THAT WE HAD--

237
00:09:11,867 --> 00:09:13,933
SHE FUCKED HELENA
RIGHT AFTER SHE FUCKED YOU?

238
00:09:13,967 --> 00:09:15,333
YOUR ROOMMATE?

239
00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:16,633
THAT'S SO RUDE.

240
00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:18,067
NO, BUT THAT'S HER.
THAT'S PAPI.

241
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,233
OH, MY GOD.

242
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,467
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
RELATIONSHIPS AND HER,

243
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,300
THEY DON'T EXIST
IN THE SAME UNIVERSE.

244
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:23,600
[DOOR OPENS]
OKAY.

245
00:09:23,633 --> 00:09:25,067
BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW
THAT I KNOW.

246
00:09:25,067 --> 00:09:26,200
HI.
HI.

247
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,333
WHAT A FUCKING DISASTER.

248
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:28,833
YEAH.

249
00:09:28,867 --> 00:09:31,667
I'VE HAD
THREE JOB INTERVIEWS TODAY.

250
00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:35,200
EITHER I'M OVER-QUALIFIED
OR I HAVE NO SKILLS WHATSOEVER.

251
00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:36,867
MY C.V. DOESN'T EVEN
GET ME IN

252
00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:38,300
FOR A JOB
AS A RECEPTIONIST.

253
00:09:38,333 --> 00:09:39,633
WHAT'S A C.V.?

254
00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:41,200
MY RESUME.

255
00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:42,500
WHY ARE YOU APPLYING--

256
00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:44,067
THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME

257
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,900
WON'T EVEN BELIEVE
THAT I'M DESTITUTE.

258
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:48,733
BUT WHY ARE YOU APPLYING
FOR A JOB AS A RECEPTIONIST?

259
00:09:48,767 --> 00:09:51,333
I WOULD PRETTY MUCH DO ANY JOB
RIGHT NOW

260
00:09:51,367 --> 00:09:54,467
THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE SEX
OR TOUCHING INSECTS.

261
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,067
OTHERWISE,

262
00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:57,567
I'M GOING TO BE
STUCK HERE WITH ALICE

263
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,467
IN HER SWEET LITTLE
ONE-BEDROOM.

264
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,267
YEAH.

265
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,200
I'M GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP THAT,
UM...

266
00:10:03,233 --> 00:10:04,733
THE ONE BEDROOM.

267
00:10:04,767 --> 00:10:07,433
UM, I JUST... I...

268
00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:09,867
WE NEVER HAD
THAT ROOMMATE RULE TALK.

269
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:10,900
I'M GOING TO GO.
NO.

270
00:10:10,933 --> 00:10:13,133
UM, I'LL GIVE YOU MINE.

271
00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:14,567
I'LL START WITH ME.

272
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:15,900
UM, OKAY, LIKE,

273
00:10:15,933 --> 00:10:17,200
I FEEL LIKE THIS
WOULD BE

274
00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:18,767
YOUR BOUNDARY
OF YOUR SPACE,

275
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,333
SO ANYTHING
IN YOUR SPACE,

276
00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:21,900
YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR.

277
00:10:21,933 --> 00:10:26,033
AND THEN, THIS WOULD BE,
YOU KNOW, MY SPACE,

278
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:27,833
AND ANYTHING
IN MY SPACE

279
00:10:27,867 --> 00:10:29,533
IS MINE,

280
00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:33,467
UM, WHICH INCLUDES
MY OFFICE SPACE, WHICH...

281
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,167
I'LL KIND OF SHOW YOU
WHERE THAT STARTS.

282
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,767
[CHAIR RUMBLING]

283
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:37,833
SHIFT YOU HERE...

284
00:10:37,867 --> 00:10:39,733
THIS IS MY OFFICE SPACE,

285
00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:41,167
MY WORK SPACE,

286
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,900
AND, UM,

287
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,233
I'M TIDY.

288
00:10:44,267 --> 00:10:46,300
I'M A TIDY PERSON,
AND I LIKE TO KEEP THIS TIDY.

289
00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:47,867
BUT THEN WE HAVE,
YOU KNOW,

290
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,900
THE KITCHEN
WOULD BE OUR SPACE,

291
00:10:49,933 --> 00:10:51,300
KIND OF, SPACES,

292
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:52,967
AND THEN, I FEEL LIKE
THE UNTIDY PERSON

293
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,167
SHOULD ABIDE BY
THE TIDY PERSON'S RULES.

294
00:10:55,200 --> 00:11:01,067
SO, DID YOU, UM,
DID YOU HAVE ANY?

295
00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:02,267
JUST THAT MY PRATESI SHEETS--

296
00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:03,333
DON'T PUT THEM
IN THE WASHING MACHINE,

297
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:04,367
BECAUSE--
[TELEPHONE RINGS]

298
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,600
MM-HMM,
WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT.

299
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:07,967
SHEETS.

300
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,133
HELLO...

301
00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:11,633
HEY, BETTE.

302
00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:13,667
HUH?

303
00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:18,233
WHAT ABOUT HENRY AND TINA'S
COCKTAIL PARTY?

304
00:11:18,267 --> 00:11:21,900
TINA AND HENRY'S
COCKTAIL PARTY?

305
00:11:21,933 --> 00:11:26,233
UH, NO, I DON'T BELIEVE
I WAS INVITED.

306
00:11:26,267 --> 00:11:28,533
WELL, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT,
ALICE.

307
00:11:28,567 --> 00:11:31,367
[LAUGHING]

308
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,133
OH, MY GOD,
THAT SOUNDS AWFUL.

309
00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:35,900
SHE DID NOT SAY,

310
00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:39,133
"A MIXER FOR OUR GAY
AND OUR STRAIGHT FRIENDS"?

311
00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:44,867
WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE STILL COMING
TO THE PLANET TONIGHT.

312
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:47,167
KIT IS SO EXCITED
ABOUT THIS NEW EVENT PLANNER.

313
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:51,567
APPARENTLY THEY DO THESE CRAZY,
HOT WOMEN'S PARTIES.

314
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,433
OH, ALICE, I'VE GOT TO GO.

315
00:11:53,467 --> 00:11:54,433
YEAH.

316
00:11:54,467 --> 00:11:56,133
SO, I'LL SEE YOU
TONIGHT?

317
00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:57,633
GREAT. SEE YOU LATER, THEN.
BYE.

318
00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:59,133
PHYLLIS.

319
00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:01,067
I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW
THE COMMITTEE

320
00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:02,433
APPROVED YOUR BUDGET
TO START RESEARCHING THE COST

321
00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:04,200
OF CREATING THAT MEDIA LAB.

322
00:12:04,233 --> 00:12:05,333
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME

323
00:12:05,367 --> 00:12:07,200
THAT I HAVE A BUDGET
TO DEVELOP A BUDGET?

324
00:12:07,233 --> 00:12:10,333
WELCOME TO ACADEMIA.

325
00:12:10,367 --> 00:12:12,067
OH, DID YOU HEAR
THAT JODI LERNER REQUESTED

326
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:13,167
TO COME A WEEK LATE?

327
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,533
I COULDN'T SAY NO.

328
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,700
SHE'S BEEN SHORT-LISTED
FOR THE ROME PRIZE.

329
00:12:16,733 --> 00:12:18,100
[SETS NEGATIVES DOWN]

330
00:12:18,133 --> 00:12:20,900
BETTE, DID YOU JUST
SAY SOMETHING

331
00:12:20,933 --> 00:12:23,167
ABOUT A CRAZY,
HOT WOMEN'S PARTY?

332
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,367
UH, YEAH.

333
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:25,700
MY SISTER, KIT,

334
00:12:25,733 --> 00:12:27,233
SHE OWNS THE PLANET
IN WEST HOLLYWOOD.

335
00:12:27,267 --> 00:12:30,067
THEY'RE DOING THIS PARTY
CALLED RANCHO NOTORIOUS.

336
00:12:30,067 --> 00:12:31,767
AND IT'S ALL WOMEN?
ONLY THURSDAYS.

337
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,467
THURSDAY IS GIRLS' NIGHT
AT THE PLANET.

338
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,333
[RECEPTIONIST]:
DEAN PORTER'S OFFICE.

339
00:12:35,367 --> 00:12:37,100
WOULD IT BE TOO MUCH
OF AN IMPOSITION

340
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:38,933
IF I ASKED
TO JOIN YOU?

341
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,367
UM, TINA'S ON THE PHONE
FOR YOU.

342
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,767
I'LL COME BACK LATER
FOR THE DETAILS.

343
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:50,167
TINA. HEY.

344
00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:55,433
A PARTY.

345
00:12:55,467 --> 00:12:57,767
REALLY?

346
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,233
NO, THAT SOUNDS INTERESTING.

347
00:13:00,267 --> 00:13:02,267
DID ALICE PUT YOU UP TO THIS?

348
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:06,967
YOU-- YOU DIDN'T KNOW
WHETHER OR NOT TO INVITE ME

349
00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:10,533
WHEN YOU INVITED
ALL OF MY FRIENDS?

350
00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:12,867
WELL, WE HAVE A CHILD
TOGETHER, TINA.

351
00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:16,900
I MEAN, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO
LEARN HOW TO GET ALONG.

352
00:13:16,933 --> 00:13:18,800
[SIGHING]

353
00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:19,967
FU-- YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

354
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,400
YOU KNOW, YOU'VE MADE
QUITE A SCENE OR TWO

355
00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:22,467
IN YOUR TIME, TOO,

356
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:23,833
SO DON'T GET
ON YOUR HIGH HOR--

357
00:13:26,467 --> 00:13:30,667
NO, OKAY, I DON'T WANT TO
FIGHT WITH YOU EITHER.

358
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:34,567
I'M JUST MAKING A POINT
THAT I'VE MOVED ON.

359
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,433
I'VE FOUND CLOSURE.

360
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,067
THERE'S NOTHING BETWEEN US
ANYMORE

361
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:42,733
THAT WOULD CAUSE ME TO WANT TO
MAKE A SCENE, YOU KNOW?

362
00:13:46,533 --> 00:13:48,667
WELL, THANK YOU
FOR THE INVITATION.

363
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,267
I APPRECIATE IT.

364
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:53,467
YES, BUT I'M GOING TO DECLINE.

365
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:57,700
YEAH, SOME OTHER TIME.

366
00:13:57,733 --> 00:13:59,900
BYE.

367
00:14:03,433 --> 00:14:05,900
[**]

368
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:11,300
YOU HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF
THIS TIME.

369
00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:13,433
OH, MY.
LOOK AT THIS PLACE!

370
00:14:13,467 --> 00:14:14,800
IT'S FANTASTIC.

371
00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:15,867
YOU LIKE IT?

372
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:17,467
DO I LIKE IT?

373
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,067
MINDY AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE
A BLOODY SHOOTOUT

374
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,067
AT THE END OF THE NIGHT.

375
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,500
WELL, OF COURSE
YOU ARE.

376
00:14:21,533 --> 00:14:23,900
YEE-HAW!

377
00:14:23,933 --> 00:14:25,900
OH, HERE HE IS.

378
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:28,233
MEET ANGUS,
MY BOYFRIEND.

379
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:31,400
SAY HOWDY TO MINDY
AND ROCHELLE.

380
00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:32,067
HOWDY,
LITTLE LADIES.

381
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:33,067
HOWDY.
HOWDY.

382
00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:34,467
I'M NOT JUST
YOUR BOYFRIEND.

383
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:37,567
I AM YOUR JUST-BEEN-OFFERED
A-$100,000-DOLLAR-RECORD-DEAL-

384
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:41,067
WITH-THRILL-CITY-
RECORDS BOYFRIEND.

385
00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:42,067
NUH-UH!

386
00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,333
UH-HUH!

387
00:14:43,367 --> 00:14:44,733
AH!
AH!

388
00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:46,967
OH, MY GOD! OH, HO, HO, HO!

389
00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:48,700
OH, MY GOD!
* DO-DO-DO-DO-DO

390
00:14:48,733 --> 00:14:51,233
[BOTH SCATTING]

391
00:14:51,267 --> 00:14:53,800
CONGRATULATIONS!

392
00:14:53,833 --> 00:14:54,933
WOW!

393
00:14:54,967 --> 00:14:57,433
SO, THIS
IS THE AIR FILTER.

394
00:14:57,467 --> 00:14:59,433
YOU JUST TAKE IT OUT.

395
00:14:59,467 --> 00:15:02,067
CHECK IT OUT.

396
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,433
YUCK.

397
00:15:04,967 --> 00:15:06,667
CAN YOU GRAB
THE NEW ONE OVER THERE?

398
00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:09,067
WANT TO PUT IT IN?

399
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,133
SURE.

400
00:15:10,167 --> 00:15:11,367
OKAY.

401
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,267
ALL RIGHT.
GOOD JOB.

402
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:14,467
SNAP THAT BACK.

403
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,167
HEY, SHAY.

404
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,567
READY TO GO
TO TINA AND HENRY'S?

405
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,667
WILL THERE
BE KIDS THERE?

406
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:24,067
UH, WELL, UM,
ANGELICA WILL BE THERE,

407
00:15:24,067 --> 00:15:26,800
AND, YOU KNOW, THEY MIGHT
HAVE A MOVIE FOR YOU TO WATCH.

408
00:15:29,067 --> 00:15:31,200
HE COULD STAY HERE WITH ME
IF HE WANTS.

409
00:15:31,233 --> 00:15:32,400
I MEAN, I'M JUST
GOING TO BE

410
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:34,700
WORKING ON THE CAR
AND, I DON'T KNOW.

411
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,100
MAYBE LATER WE COULD
GO GET SOME BURGERS

412
00:15:36,133 --> 00:15:37,067
OR SOMETHING.

413
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:38,467
YEAH!
REALLY?

414
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:41,167
YEAH.

415
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,133
OKAY, WELL,
THAT-- WAIT.

416
00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:44,800
THAT MEANS YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO TINA AND HENRY'S.

417
00:15:44,833 --> 00:15:47,200
I WASN'T INVITED.

418
00:15:47,233 --> 00:15:48,867
OH.

419
00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:49,867
IT'S COOL.

420
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:50,867
I MEAN,

421
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,333
I DON'T EVEN REALLY
KNOW TINA THAT WELL,

422
00:15:52,367 --> 00:15:56,900
AND, UM, I'D RATHER NOT
HAVE TO DEAL ANYWAY, SO...

423
00:15:56,933 --> 00:15:58,833
WELL, ARE YOU OKAY
WITH THAT, SHAY?

424
00:15:58,867 --> 00:16:00,633
YEAH.
YEAH?

425
00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:01,933
WELL, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.

426
00:16:01,967 --> 00:16:02,933
SURE.

427
00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:04,633
APPRECIATE IT.

428
00:16:04,667 --> 00:16:06,667
SEE YOU LATER.

429
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:14,767
[INDISTINCT
BACKGROUND CONVERSATION]

430
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,400
WHICH ONE IS TINA'S EX?

431
00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:20,300
SHE COULDN'T
MAKE IT.

432
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,700
THANK GOD.

433
00:16:21,733 --> 00:16:23,233
SO EVEN THE--

434
00:16:23,267 --> 00:16:24,533
EVEN THE BEAUTIFUL ONE
OVER THERE?

435
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:25,867
YES, BRAD.
GIVE IT UP.

436
00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:27,067
THEY'RE ALL LESBIANS.

437
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,300
[BRAD, GROANING]: OH.

438
00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:29,567
THANK YOU.
[CHUCKLING]

439
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,367
THANK YOU.

440
00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:34,733
WOW. WHO'S THAT?

441
00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:38,867
THIS IS A SURPRISE.

442
00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:41,100
HI.

443
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,333
YEAH, I CHANGED MY MIND.

444
00:16:42,367 --> 00:16:43,867
HELLO, HENRY.

445
00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:45,633
HI.

446
00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:47,067
SO, WHERE'S MY BABY GIRL?

447
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,367
SHE'S ASLEEP.

448
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,233
WATCH OUT.
THERE'S GONNA BE A CRASH!

449
00:16:50,267 --> 00:16:53,933
I'LL GET MORE.

450
00:16:53,967 --> 00:16:56,200
OKAY. GREAT.

451
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:01,600
THIS IS NICE.

452
00:17:01,633 --> 00:17:04,533
IT KIND OF REMINDS ME
OF YOUR APARTMENT ON DOHENY.

453
00:17:04,567 --> 00:17:06,867
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

454
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:11,067
YEAH, IT'S FINE.

455
00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:13,733
I'D REMODEL IT,
BUT I DON'T LIVE HERE.

456
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,767
YET.

457
00:17:19,467 --> 00:17:21,067
HEY.

458
00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:23,200
THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.
WE'RE TOTALLY OUTNUMBERED.

459
00:17:23,233 --> 00:17:24,433
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

460
00:17:24,467 --> 00:17:25,567
STRAIGHT PEOPLE.

461
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,600
OH, JESUS.

462
00:17:27,633 --> 00:17:28,800
HI.

463
00:17:28,833 --> 00:17:30,200
BETTE.

464
00:17:30,233 --> 00:17:31,200
JENNY.

465
00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:32,200
HELLO.

466
00:17:32,233 --> 00:17:34,400
HELLO.

467
00:17:34,433 --> 00:17:35,633
WHAT DO YOU SAY

468
00:17:35,667 --> 00:17:38,433
WE MOVE INTO A BIG PLACE
LIKE THIS SOMEDAY?

469
00:17:38,467 --> 00:17:41,633
I SAY, NOT UNTIL
YOUR FIRST CHECK CLEARS.

470
00:17:41,667 --> 00:17:44,067
AND THEN MINE.

471
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,600
HEY. HI.

472
00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:50,200
HEY. HOW ARE YOU?

473
00:17:50,233 --> 00:17:51,267
GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

474
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:52,400
I'M GLAD YOU CAME.

475
00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:53,800
OF COURSE.
OF COURSE.

476
00:17:53,833 --> 00:17:55,233
I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE
WAS GOING TO COME.

477
00:17:55,267 --> 00:17:56,400
OH, NO. NO.

478
00:17:56,433 --> 00:17:57,567
DO YOU WANT
SOME FOOD?

479
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,467
UH, YEAH. YEAH.

480
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:02,800
OH, UH, KELLY,
AND UH--

481
00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:04,100
ALISON.

482
00:18:04,133 --> 00:18:05,167
ALISON?
YES.

483
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,367
YEAH.

484
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,700
UM, THIS IS
MY FRIEND SHANE.

485
00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:08,700
HI.

486
00:18:08,733 --> 00:18:09,733
DO YOU
WANT A BEER?

487
00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:10,700
I WOULD LOVE ONE.
THANK YOU.

488
00:18:10,733 --> 00:18:11,600
HELLO.

489
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:12,567
HI.
NICE TO MEET YOU.

490
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,333
HI.
NICE TO MEET YOU.

491
00:18:15,367 --> 00:18:17,233
THAT'S SUCH
A GREAT NAME.

492
00:18:17,267 --> 00:18:18,967
SHANE.

493
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:20,633
OH, THANK YOU.

494
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,933
THANKS.

495
00:18:22,967 --> 00:18:25,200
IT'S PERFECT
FOR YOU.

496
00:18:25,233 --> 00:18:29,567
OH, WELL,
THANK YOU, I GUESS.

497
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,700
GOOD--
GLAD TO KNOW THAT.

498
00:18:31,733 --> 00:18:34,733
UM, BUT I'M GOING TO
GO FIND TINA

499
00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:35,833
FOR THAT DRINK,

500
00:18:35,867 --> 00:18:37,233
SO SEE YOU IN A BIT.

501
00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:42,700
OKAY.
SEE YOU AROUND.

502
00:18:42,733 --> 00:18:42,800
ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS.

503
00:18:43,867 --> 00:18:45,133
GRACE PERIOD'S UP.

504
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:45,700
I'M GOING IN.

505
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:47,300
GOOD LUCK.

506
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:48,533
SO BRAVE.

507
00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:49,533
SHANE!

508
00:18:49,567 --> 00:18:51,067
OH, MY GOD!

509
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:53,467
OH, THANK YOU.

510
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,400
I AM GOING TO BE
THE BEST RECEPTIONIST

511
00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:55,767
YOU HAVE EVER HAD.

512
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:56,700
OKAY, GOOD, LISTEN,

513
00:18:56,733 --> 00:18:57,533
BUT I'M WARNING YOU,
IT'S A SHIT JOB.

514
00:18:57,567 --> 00:18:58,900
I DON'T CARE.

515
00:18:58,933 --> 00:19:00,200
OKAY, BUT IT'S YOURS
IF YOU WANT IT.

516
00:19:00,233 --> 00:19:01,900
OKAY, GOOD.I WANT IT.
YOU GOT IT.

517
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:04,933
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

518
00:19:17,067 --> 00:19:19,400
YOUR DAUGHTER IS ADORABLE.

519
00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:21,167
THANK YOU.

520
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,933
WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF ONE DAY SHE DECIDED

521
00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:25,067
SHE WANTED TO LIVE
WITH HER FATHER?

522
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:27,067
WE DON'T CALL HIM
THE FATHER.

523
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,333
WE CALL HIM THE DONOR.

524
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,567
I REALLY DON'T THINK
THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

525
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,733
OH, SORRY,
EXCUSE ME, UM...

526
00:19:32,767 --> 00:19:35,333
I-- I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT IT
TO HAPPEN, BUT, YOU KNOW,

527
00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:36,633
KIDS HAVE MINDS OF THEIR OWN,

528
00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:39,067
AND, I MEAN,
I'M SURE YOUR PARENTS

529
00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:40,233
WOULD RATHER
YOU WEREN'T A LESBIAN,

530
00:19:40,267 --> 00:19:42,167
YOU KNOW?

531
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,067
MY PARENTS ARE DEAD.

532
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:45,567
BETTE.

533
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,133
BRAD.

534
00:19:47,167 --> 00:19:49,667
LOOK, I-I'M NOT A HOMOPHOBE,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

535
00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:50,900
BUT, LOOK.

536
00:19:50,933 --> 00:19:52,100
IF MY SON CAME HOME

537
00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:53,467
AND HE TOLD ME
THAT HE WAS GAY,

538
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,067
I MEAN, I'M SURE

539
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:56,400
I WOULD COME AROUND TO IT,

540
00:19:56,433 --> 00:19:57,400
BUT, YOU KNOW,

541
00:19:57,433 --> 00:19:59,800
AT FIRST THERE WOULD
BE A REACTION, AND--

542
00:19:59,833 --> 00:20:01,900
I'M SORRY, I'M JUST TRYING
TO BE HONEST HERE, I--

543
00:20:01,933 --> 00:20:02,967
AN HONEST HOMOPHOBE.

544
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,000
HOW NICE.

545
00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:07,100
YOU KNOW, BETTE,
DON'T GET INTO IT.

546
00:20:07,133 --> 00:20:09,600
NO, I UNDERSTAND, BRAD.

547
00:20:09,633 --> 00:20:10,700
I MEAN,

548
00:20:10,733 --> 00:20:12,233
YOU FIND GAY SEX
REPULSIVE

549
00:20:12,267 --> 00:20:13,400
AND YOU DON'T CARE

550
00:20:13,433 --> 00:20:14,900
ABOUT YOUR SON'S
PERSONAL HAPPINESS

551
00:20:14,933 --> 00:20:16,167
AS MUCH AS YOU DO

552
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,067
YOUR OWN COMFORT LEVEL,
RIGHT?

553
00:20:19,267 --> 00:20:20,967
YOU KNOW,
PERSONALLY,

554
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,833
I'M ALL FOR IT...
BETWEEN WOMEN.

555
00:20:23,867 --> 00:20:26,133
IT'S JUST THAT...

556
00:20:26,167 --> 00:20:28,633
THE IDEA OF TWO GUYS...

557
00:20:28,667 --> 00:20:30,567
WELL, YOU UNDERSTAND,
RIGHT?

558
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,600
[CHUCKLES]

559
00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:34,833
IT'S NOT THAT BAD,
ACTUALLY.

560
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,167
COME AGAIN, DUDE?

561
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,233
MM.

562
00:20:37,267 --> 00:20:39,467
THAT WHOLE
DICK-IN-ASS THING.

563
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,500
I USED TO THINK
IT WAS A LITTLE CREEPY.

564
00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:43,000
AND PAINFUL, TOO,

565
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,267
BUT I FOUND
THIS GREAT LUBE.

566
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:46,533
IT'S CALLED
BOY BUTTER.

567
00:20:46,567 --> 00:20:48,033
ONCE I DISCOVERED THAT,
IT WAS LIKE...

568
00:20:48,067 --> 00:20:50,567
[IMITATES BASS THROBBING]

569
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,733
LET'S GET THIS PARTY
STARTED, YOU KNOW.

570
00:20:52,767 --> 00:20:55,133
I LOVE HIM.

571
00:20:55,167 --> 00:20:56,967
HE LOVES YOU, TOO.

572
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,900
I'VE GOT TO GET BACK
TO THE PLANET.

573
00:21:00,067 --> 00:21:02,233
COME ON,
BUTTER BOY.

574
00:21:02,267 --> 00:21:04,233
LET'S SLIDE
ON OUT OF HERE.

575
00:21:04,267 --> 00:21:05,400
[LAUGHING]

576
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:09,300
I HAVE AN IDEA.

577
00:21:09,333 --> 00:21:11,900
GAME OF CELEBRITY?

578
00:21:11,933 --> 00:21:14,933
[**]

579
00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:18,733
DO YOU HAVE
A COUPLE EXTRA SPOTS

580
00:21:18,767 --> 00:21:20,267
ON THE GUEST LIST?

581
00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:21,967
MY BOYS ARE COMING DOWN

582
00:21:22,067 --> 00:21:24,800
TO CELEBRATE OUR IMPENDING
SUPER-MEGA-STARDOM.

583
00:21:24,833 --> 00:21:25,933
OH, OF COURSE.

584
00:21:25,967 --> 00:21:27,400
THRILL CITY.

585
00:21:27,433 --> 00:21:30,300
HERE WE COME.

586
00:21:38,267 --> 00:21:41,267
PHYLLIS, YOU CAN DO THIS.

587
00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:51,800
HEY, BEAUTIFUL.

588
00:21:51,833 --> 00:21:53,900
CAN I BUY YOU
A DRINK?

589
00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:58,433
OH, I'M NOT QUITE READY
FOR A DRINK YET.

590
00:22:09,567 --> 00:22:12,500
[**]

591
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,700
[BRAD]:
GO? OKAY.

592
00:22:19,733 --> 00:22:20,800
OKAY. READY?

593
00:22:20,833 --> 00:22:23,067
YOU GO.

594
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:24,067
OH.

595
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:25,333
WE-- WE WON ALREADY.

596
00:22:25,367 --> 00:22:26,467
THIS IS SO EASY. OKAY.

597
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:28,100
READY?

598
00:22:28,133 --> 00:22:29,367
YEAH.

599
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:30,700
ACTRESS.
SHE WAS IN I "HEART" HUCKABEES.

600
00:22:30,733 --> 00:22:32,067
NAOMI WATTS.

601
00:22:32,067 --> 00:22:33,167
NO, BUT FUNNIER.

602
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,433
UM, SHE WAS IN
9 TO 5.

603
00:22:34,467 --> 00:22:36,400
SHE--
OH, RIGHT.
OKAY.

604
00:22:36,433 --> 00:22:37,400
OH, I KNOW, I KNOW.
WHAT'S HER NAME?

605
00:22:37,433 --> 00:22:38,400
YOU KNOW IT.

606
00:22:38,433 --> 00:22:39,600
OH!

607
00:22:39,633 --> 00:22:40,833
MAJOR DYKE.
MAJOR DYKE.

608
00:22:40,867 --> 00:22:41,933
SHE CAME OUT
BIG TIME IN 2000.

609
00:22:41,967 --> 00:22:42,600
I MEAN, WE ALREADY
KNEW, BUT.

610
00:22:42,633 --> 00:22:44,700
UM...

611
00:22:44,733 --> 00:22:45,967
COME ON,
BIG BUSINESS!

612
00:22:46,067 --> 00:22:47,700
DYKE.
BIG BUSINESS!

613
00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:49,633
SORRY, YOU GUYS, TIME'S UP.
[BRAD]: WHO IS IT?

614
00:22:49,667 --> 00:22:51,200
LILY TOMLIN!

615
00:22:51,233 --> 00:22:53,767
LILY TOMLIN IS NOT
A LESBIAN, IS SHE?

616
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,200
UM, HELLO?

617
00:22:55,233 --> 00:22:56,367
BRAD...

618
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,400
HE WAS ON THE VERGE
OF GETTING IT.

619
00:22:57,433 --> 00:22:59,467
THE GAY CLUE
THREW HIM OFF.

620
00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:00,700
YEAH.

621
00:23:00,733 --> 00:23:02,200
OH, REALLY.

622
00:23:02,233 --> 00:23:03,200
WOW.

623
00:23:03,233 --> 00:23:05,267
OKAY, WHO'S NEXT?

624
00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:06,433
SHANE?

625
00:23:06,467 --> 00:23:08,433
TRY ME.

626
00:23:08,467 --> 00:23:12,333
OH, UH, OKAY.

627
00:23:12,367 --> 00:23:15,600
[SIGHING,
CHUCKLING]

628
00:23:15,633 --> 00:23:16,800
HA. OKAY.

629
00:23:16,833 --> 00:23:20,067
UM, UM, OKAY.

630
00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:21,300
UH, LE TIGRE.

631
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:24,633
AND JULIE RUIN.

632
00:23:24,667 --> 00:23:26,433
BIKINI KILL.

633
00:23:26,467 --> 00:23:28,333
OH, EASY.

634
00:23:28,367 --> 00:23:29,533
I KNOW IT.

635
00:23:29,567 --> 00:23:30,633
THANK YOU.

636
00:23:30,667 --> 00:23:32,800
[WHISPERING]

637
00:23:32,833 --> 00:23:35,267
IT'S SO EASY!

638
00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:37,100
UH... ONE...

639
00:23:37,133 --> 00:23:38,567
ONE MORE TIME.

640
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,233
[ALL LAUGHING]

641
00:23:41,267 --> 00:23:42,633
KATHLEEN HANNA.

642
00:23:42,667 --> 00:23:44,833
WHAT'S SHE A CELEBRITY FOR?

643
00:23:44,867 --> 00:23:46,833
OH, SHE JUST
PRETTY MUCH STARTED

644
00:23:46,867 --> 00:23:50,800
THE WHOLE RIOT GRRRL
MUSIC SCENE, BUT, HEY.

645
00:23:50,833 --> 00:23:53,067
WHAT'S THE RIOT GRRRL
MUSIC SCENE?

646
00:23:53,067 --> 00:23:55,967
OKAY. WHO'S NEXT?

647
00:23:56,067 --> 00:23:59,133
OKAY, MY TURN,
MY TURN, MY TURN.

648
00:24:03,067 --> 00:24:05,167
OH. I DON'T--

649
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,267
I DON'T KNOW
WHO TERRELL OWENS IS.

650
00:24:08,467 --> 00:24:09,667
OH, HO, HO.
[JENNY]: WHAT?

651
00:24:09,700 --> 00:24:11,267
WHAT?

652
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:12,833
FOOTBALL PLAYER.

653
00:24:12,867 --> 00:24:14,400
OH.

654
00:24:14,433 --> 00:24:16,233
DO YOU? SHANE?
NO.

655
00:24:16,267 --> 00:24:18,067
HE'S THE MOST TALENTED RECEIVER
IN FOOTBALL.

656
00:24:18,067 --> 00:24:20,333
AND HE APPEARED
WITH A DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE

657
00:24:20,367 --> 00:24:21,467
IN A COMMERCIAL.

658
00:24:21,500 --> 00:24:22,733
SHE DROPPED HER TOWEL.

659
00:24:22,767 --> 00:24:23,800
OKAY.

660
00:24:23,833 --> 00:24:25,333
THE DESPERATE-- WHAT?

661
00:24:25,367 --> 00:24:28,367
[WHISPERING]:
THIS IS EXCRUCIATING.

662
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,233
I WOULD LOVE TO
GET OUT OF HERE.

663
00:24:31,267 --> 00:24:32,767
LET'S JUST GO, OKAY?

664
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:33,700
[ALICE]: I'LL DO
ANOTHER ONE.

665
00:24:33,733 --> 00:24:35,067
OKAY.

666
00:24:35,067 --> 00:24:36,800
LET'S PLAY.
WHO WANTS TO CHOOSE NEXT?

667
00:24:36,833 --> 00:24:37,867
IT'S KIND OF
LATE, THOUGH.

668
00:24:37,900 --> 00:24:38,867
OKAY.

669
00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:40,167
DO YOU WANT TO--

670
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,467
[JENNY]: SHANE, SHANE,
WHAT TIME IS IT?

671
00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:43,600
[ALICE]: IT IS LATE,
ISN'T IT?

672
00:24:43,633 --> 00:24:44,767
IT IS.

673
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,333
[**]

674
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,233
LADIES, LADIES, LADIES,
LADIES, LADIES.

675
00:24:58,267 --> 00:25:00,200
OH, GOD.

676
00:25:00,233 --> 00:25:01,567
THANK GOD FOR MY LITTLE
LESBIAN PLANET.

677
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,567
[HELENA]: OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S PAPI.

678
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,567
HEY.

679
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,600
HEY, CHICAS. WHAT'S UP?

680
00:25:07,633 --> 00:25:10,900
[**]

681
00:25:14,667 --> 00:25:16,467
HEY, THERE'S SHANE.
SHANE!

682
00:25:18,067 --> 00:25:19,500
SHANE?

683
00:25:22,133 --> 00:25:24,333
AH, THIS OUGHT TO BE
INTERESTING.

684
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,900
[WESTERN THEME PLAYS]

685
00:25:28,933 --> 00:25:30,300
[HORSE WHINNYING]

686
00:25:30,333 --> 00:25:33,067
[**]

687
00:26:01,100 --> 00:26:03,100
[HORSE WHINNYING]

688
00:26:08,967 --> 00:26:10,367
HEY.
HEY, HEY.

689
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:11,833
KIT SAVED US A TABLE
IN THE BACK.

690
00:26:11,867 --> 00:26:13,633
OH, GOOD.
GOOD.

691
00:26:13,667 --> 00:26:15,300
YOU'RE SHANE?

692
00:26:15,333 --> 00:26:16,433
[EXHALING]

693
00:26:16,467 --> 00:26:18,667
WHEW. YEAH.

694
00:26:18,700 --> 00:26:20,700
YOU'RE JUST A SKINNY
LITTLE WHITE GIRL.

695
00:26:20,733 --> 00:26:23,533
OH.

696
00:26:23,567 --> 00:26:26,400
YEAH, I GUESS I AM.

697
00:26:29,067 --> 00:26:30,200
SHANE.

698
00:26:30,233 --> 00:26:31,433
WHAT?

699
00:26:31,467 --> 00:26:32,633
THIS IS PAPI.

700
00:26:32,667 --> 00:26:33,800
WHO?

701
00:26:33,833 --> 00:26:34,700
PAPI.

702
00:26:34,733 --> 00:26:35,800
SO WHAT?

703
00:26:37,367 --> 00:26:38,800
SO, I'M YOUR COMPETITION.

704
00:26:38,833 --> 00:26:41,133
OH!

705
00:26:41,167 --> 00:26:42,400
OH. OKAY.

706
00:26:42,433 --> 00:26:43,900
WELL, YOU KNOW,

707
00:26:43,933 --> 00:26:45,967
I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT WE'RE COMPETING FOR,

708
00:26:46,067 --> 00:26:47,533
BUT, UH, YOU WIN.

709
00:26:47,567 --> 00:26:48,900
SO, IT WAS NICE
TO MEET YOU.

710
00:26:48,933 --> 00:26:50,800
I'M GOING TO GO SIT
WITH BETTE.

711
00:26:50,833 --> 00:26:51,633
YOU GOING TO COME?
YEAH.

712
00:26:51,667 --> 00:26:52,567
I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK.

713
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,233
OKAY...

714
00:26:55,267 --> 00:26:56,600
OKAY.

715
00:27:03,967 --> 00:27:07,067
[TOILET FLUSHING]

716
00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:08,767
I MISSED
THAT READING.

717
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,267
OH, YEAH, IT WAS, UH,
IT WAS LAST WEEK.

718
00:27:11,300 --> 00:27:14,400
ANYWAY, THE BOOK
IS REALLY AWFUL.

719
00:27:14,433 --> 00:27:16,600
HAVE YOU READ IT?

720
00:27:16,633 --> 00:27:19,900
NO, BUT THE REVIEW
IN CURVE MAGAZINE--

721
00:27:19,933 --> 00:27:21,167
"SOME OF HER PARTS
MAKES ME ASHAMED

722
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,867
TO EVEN CALL MYSELF
A LESBIAN."

723
00:27:29,467 --> 00:27:32,700
I FEEL LIKE
I DON'T EVEN REALLY KNOW

724
00:27:32,733 --> 00:27:34,400
HOW TO TALK TO WOMEN ANYMORE.

725
00:27:34,433 --> 00:27:36,100
YOU JUST HAVE TO BE PATIENT,
HELENA.

726
00:27:36,133 --> 00:27:37,300
I MEAN,
YOU'RE REINVENTING YOURSELF.

727
00:27:37,333 --> 00:27:38,333
THAT'S BIG.

728
00:27:38,367 --> 00:27:39,433
WHOA, BOY.

729
00:27:39,467 --> 00:27:40,200
HELLO.

730
00:27:40,233 --> 00:27:41,133
HEY.

731
00:27:41,167 --> 00:27:42,600
YOU OKAY?

732
00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:48,067
SHIT, SHIT, SHIT.

733
00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:49,533
I CANNOT BELIEVE
SHE ACTUALLY CAME.

734
00:27:49,567 --> 00:27:50,533
WHO?

735
00:27:50,567 --> 00:27:51,400
WHAT?

736
00:27:51,433 --> 00:27:52,567
WHAT, WHAT,
WHAT, WHAT?

737
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:53,700
WHAT, DID YOU SLEEP
WITH SOMEONE?

738
00:27:53,733 --> 00:27:54,867
NO, NOT IN THIS CENTURY.

739
00:27:54,900 --> 00:27:56,300
OKAY, GIRLS, GIRLS,
OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL.

740
00:27:56,333 --> 00:27:57,633
PHYLLIS KROLL,

741
00:27:57,667 --> 00:27:59,600
EXECUTIVE VICE CHANCELLOR,
CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY.

742
00:27:59,633 --> 00:28:00,833
VERY ACCOMPLISHED.
VERY DIGNIFIED.

743
00:28:00,867 --> 00:28:01,967
VERY MUCH MY BOSS.

744
00:28:02,067 --> 00:28:03,367
I REPEAT,
VERY MUCH MY BOSS.

745
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:04,600
SHE'S BEEN MARRIED
FOR 25 YEARS,

746
00:28:04,633 --> 00:28:06,167
AND IS NOW,
AT THIS RELATIVELY LATE DATE,

747
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,333
CONVINCED SHE'S A LESBIAN

748
00:28:07,367 --> 00:28:08,633
AND IS PEEKING OUT OF THE CLOSET
AS WE SPEAK.

749
00:28:08,667 --> 00:28:09,867
SO, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE,
BE NICE TO HER

750
00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:11,133
AND TRY TO TALK TO HER
AND TRY NOT TO MAKE HER FEEL

751
00:28:11,167 --> 00:28:12,867
LIKE SHE'S THE OLDEST
FUCKING LESBIAN ON THE PLANET.

752
00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:15,067
PHYLLIS, HI!

753
00:28:15,067 --> 00:28:16,100
IT'S GOOD
TO SEE YOU.

754
00:28:16,133 --> 00:28:17,333
I'VE BEEN HERE FOR A WHILE,

755
00:28:17,367 --> 00:28:18,500
JUST KIND OF HIDING OUT
IN THE BACK.

756
00:28:18,533 --> 00:28:20,833
WELL, YOU ARE NOW
AMONG FRIENDS.

757
00:28:20,867 --> 00:28:22,067
OH.

758
00:28:22,067 --> 00:28:23,067
THIS IS SHANE
McCUTCHEON.

759
00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:23,933
HEY.
SHANE.

760
00:28:23,967 --> 00:28:25,067
HOW YOU DOING?

761
00:28:25,100 --> 00:28:26,067
THIS IS ALICE
PIESZECKI.

762
00:28:26,067 --> 00:28:27,067
HELLO, PHYLLIS.

763
00:28:27,067 --> 00:28:28,067
ALICE.

764
00:28:28,100 --> 00:28:29,433
AND HELENA PEABODY.

765
00:28:29,467 --> 00:28:30,433
HI.
HELENA.

766
00:28:30,467 --> 00:28:31,433
NICE TO MEET YOU.

767
00:28:31,467 --> 00:28:32,800
JOIN US?T YOU
YEAH.

768
00:28:32,833 --> 00:28:34,133
I'D LOVE TO.
YEAH.

769
00:28:34,167 --> 00:28:36,167
OH.

770
00:28:37,733 --> 00:28:39,133
[SIGHING]

771
00:28:39,167 --> 00:28:40,400
I HATE TO SAY IT,
MAN,

772
00:28:40,433 --> 00:28:41,533
BUT THE A&R GUY
CALLED BACK.

773
00:28:41,567 --> 00:28:42,867
THE THING IS, DUDE,

774
00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:44,167
THEY NEED A HOT YOUNG SINGER
TO SELL RECORDS.

775
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:45,367
YEAH.

776
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,400
I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE
IT'S ANYTHING NEW.

777
00:28:47,433 --> 00:28:51,433
SO, YOU WOULDN'T BE ACTUALLY
IN THE BAND.

778
00:28:51,467 --> 00:28:53,167
THEY SAID THEY'VE ALREADY GOT
A GUY LINED UP FOR US.

779
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:54,200
AND YOU'LL TOTALLY
STILL GET,

780
00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:56,767
LIKE, SONGWRITING CREDIT.

781
00:28:59,733 --> 00:29:01,533
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS.

782
00:29:01,567 --> 00:29:02,833
IT'S OUT OF OUR CONTROL, KIT.

783
00:29:02,867 --> 00:29:05,233
DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG
WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS?

784
00:29:07,367 --> 00:29:09,333
HEY.

785
00:29:09,367 --> 00:29:12,433
HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN WAITING?

786
00:29:12,467 --> 00:29:15,400
YOU CANDY-ASS PIECE OF SHIT,
YOU.

787
00:29:15,433 --> 00:29:17,067
YOU'D BE NOTHING WITHOUT ANGUS.

788
00:29:17,100 --> 00:29:18,167
NOTHING!

789
00:29:19,467 --> 00:29:21,633
YOU MUST BE OUT
OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MIND.

790
00:29:21,667 --> 00:29:23,667
YOU MUST BE FUCKING CRAZY.

791
00:29:23,700 --> 00:29:25,233
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

792
00:29:25,267 --> 00:29:26,667
GO ON,
GET OUT OF HERE.

793
00:29:26,700 --> 00:29:27,967
SHE'S THE ONE
THAT OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED

794
00:29:28,067 --> 00:29:29,400
TO CALL HERSELF A LESBIAN.

795
00:29:29,433 --> 00:29:30,400
WHAT I FIND

796
00:29:30,433 --> 00:29:32,067
SO UTTERLY SPECIOUS

797
00:29:32,067 --> 00:29:33,833
IS THE ASSERTION SHE MADE
ABOUT HER OWN LADYFRIEND.

798
00:29:33,867 --> 00:29:35,400
I KNOW, I MEAN,
SAINT LINDSEY?

799
00:29:35,433 --> 00:29:37,333
WHY IS SHE THE PANTHEON
OF HONESTY?

800
00:29:37,367 --> 00:29:38,467
IT'S PATHETIC,

801
00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:39,433
WRITING ABOUT
HER OWN GIRLFRIEND

802
00:29:39,467 --> 00:29:40,600
IN THE REVIEW.

803
00:29:40,633 --> 00:29:42,267
THE FACT THAT SHE COMPARED
THE TWO OF YOU

804
00:29:42,300 --> 00:29:44,100
IS PROOF ENOUGH
OF HER STUPIDITY.

805
00:29:44,133 --> 00:29:45,333
I KNOW. THANK YOU.

806
00:29:45,367 --> 00:29:46,700
I MEAN, THE WHOLE THING WAS,

807
00:29:46,733 --> 00:29:49,733
I WASN'T WRITING
ABOUT ALL SURVIVORS' STORIES.

808
00:29:49,767 --> 00:29:53,100
I WAS JUST WRITING ABOUT
MY STORY AND MY EXPERIENCE.

809
00:29:53,133 --> 00:29:54,800
IT'S A SHAME
YOU CAN'T DO WHAT I DID

810
00:29:54,833 --> 00:29:56,267
WHEN I GOT MY FIRST BAD REVIEW.

811
00:29:56,300 --> 00:29:58,200
OH, PHYLLIS,
YOU NEVER GOT A BAD REVIEW.

812
00:29:58,233 --> 00:30:00,733
I DID SO,
ON MY SECOND BOOK.

813
00:30:00,767 --> 00:30:03,733
THE REVIEWER FROM THE JOURNAL
OF EDUCATION AND POLICY

814
00:30:03,767 --> 00:30:05,867
ABSOLUTELY RIDICULED
MY PREMISE.

815
00:30:05,900 --> 00:30:07,867
SO WITH A WICKED REBUTTAL,

816
00:30:07,900 --> 00:30:10,300
I DISMANTLED HIM
POINT BY POINT.

817
00:30:10,333 --> 00:30:11,833
HE LOST HIS JOB BECAUSE OF IT.

818
00:30:11,867 --> 00:30:14,000
IT'S TOO BAD

819
00:30:14,033 --> 00:30:16,433
YOU CAN'T PROVE
YOUR CRITIC WAS WRONG

820
00:30:16,467 --> 00:30:19,033
ABOUT HER GIRLFRIEND'S
UNIMPEACHABLE INTEGRITY.

821
00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:21,633
THAT IS
FOR SURE, JENNY.

822
00:30:21,667 --> 00:30:23,567
I AGREE, PHYLLIS.

823
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:25,600
TOTALLY AGREE.

824
00:30:27,067 --> 00:30:29,567
[KNOCKING]

825
00:31:01,067 --> 00:31:04,167
THEY AIN'T SHIT WITHOUT YOU,
AND YOU KNOW IT.

826
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,133
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?

827
00:31:06,167 --> 00:31:09,367
SO THEY'LL SUCK
AND I'LL...

828
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:10,800
ROT AWAY AND DIE,

829
00:31:10,833 --> 00:31:13,567
TOO OLD TO BE VIABLE
AS A MUSICIAN.

830
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,567
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME

831
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,067
WHEN YOU'RE CALLED TO DO MUSIC,

832
00:31:18,100 --> 00:31:20,067
NOTHING CAN STOP YOU.

833
00:31:20,067 --> 00:31:23,500
YEAH, WELL,
THEY JUST STOPPED ME.

834
00:31:23,533 --> 00:31:25,400
THAT'S BULLSHIT.

835
00:31:25,433 --> 00:31:27,100
YOU CAN'T LET THEM--
LISTEN.

836
00:31:27,133 --> 00:31:29,267
DON'T TRY
AND MAKE ME FEEL BETTER,

837
00:31:29,300 --> 00:31:32,800
'CAUSE I'M JUST NOT GONNA.

838
00:31:39,467 --> 00:31:40,900
GOD, YOU KNOW,

839
00:31:40,933 --> 00:31:43,767
I THINK I JUST
NEED TO BE ALONE.

840
00:31:55,233 --> 00:31:58,133
[SIGHING]

841
00:32:05,567 --> 00:32:08,133
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

842
00:32:09,667 --> 00:32:11,733
[MAX]: 11.

843
00:32:11,767 --> 00:32:13,067
[GRUNTING]

844
00:32:13,067 --> 00:32:15,233
12.

845
00:32:17,067 --> 00:32:19,067
13.

846
00:32:19,067 --> 00:32:20,533
[KNOCKING]

847
00:32:20,567 --> 00:32:21,633
YEAH?

848
00:32:21,667 --> 00:32:23,067
HEY.

849
00:32:23,100 --> 00:32:24,400
HEY.

850
00:32:24,433 --> 00:32:26,900
I WONDER
IF YOU CAN DO ME A FAVOR.

851
00:32:29,067 --> 00:32:30,533
15. YEAH?

852
00:32:30,567 --> 00:32:33,933
I'M TRYING
TO FIND A FRIEND OF MINE, UM...

853
00:32:33,967 --> 00:32:35,133
NAMED, UH, LINDSEY,

854
00:32:35,167 --> 00:32:37,167
WHO I WENT
TO SUMMER CAMP WITH

855
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,100
IN, LIKE, 1987.

856
00:32:39,133 --> 00:32:41,933
I THINK THAT, UH,
SHE WAS ASSAULTED

857
00:32:41,967 --> 00:32:44,167
AND SHE HAD TO GO
TO THIS HOSPITAL

858
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,300
NAMED COLDWATER
COMMUNITY HOSPITAL,

859
00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:49,633
AND I WONDER WHETHER YOU COULD
HELP ME FIND HER.

860
00:32:49,667 --> 00:32:51,667
[MAX GRUNTING]

861
00:32:53,767 --> 00:32:57,067
WELL, THAT'S NOT REALLY
MUCH TO GO ON,

862
00:32:57,067 --> 00:32:59,133
BUT I COULD
DO A COMPUTER SEARCH

863
00:32:59,167 --> 00:33:01,100
AND SEE WHAT
I CAN COME UP WITH.

864
00:33:01,133 --> 00:33:02,367
I DEFINITELY WANT THAT,

865
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,067
BECAUSE I'M WRITING AN ARTICLE
ABOUT THE HOSPITAL

866
00:33:04,067 --> 00:33:06,167
FOR SALON MAGAZINE,

867
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,233
SO IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME

868
00:33:08,267 --> 00:33:12,733
THAT I SPEAK TO HER ABOUT,
YOU KNOW, HER EXPERIENCE THERE.

869
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:15,200
OKAY?

870
00:33:19,933 --> 00:33:21,067
WHAT?

871
00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:22,700
YOU WANT ME TO DO IT NOW?

872
00:33:22,733 --> 00:33:24,400
IF YOU DON'T MIND.

873
00:33:24,433 --> 00:33:26,767
OKAY.

874
00:33:29,833 --> 00:33:32,267
[**]

875
00:33:32,300 --> 00:33:34,100
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

876
00:33:44,267 --> 00:33:46,567
[SCREAMING AND WHISTLING]

877
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,233
I'M REALLY--
I'M SORRY, PHYLLIS--

878
00:33:48,267 --> 00:33:49,633
YEE-HAW!

879
00:33:49,667 --> 00:33:52,200
WOW. GO GET 'EM, PHYLLIS!

880
00:33:58,233 --> 00:34:00,433
[**]

881
00:34:17,067 --> 00:34:20,400
[CHILDREN LAUGHING AND SHOUTING,
BELL RINGS]

882
00:34:27,367 --> 00:34:29,633
OKAY.

883
00:34:29,667 --> 00:34:32,067
GO AHEAD.

884
00:34:56,333 --> 00:34:57,500
[BETTE]: FAUVISM.

885
00:34:57,533 --> 00:34:59,200
DADAISM. CUBISM.

886
00:34:59,233 --> 00:35:00,167
SURREALISM.

887
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:01,167
MODERNISM.

888
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,533
WE'LL COVER THE REST NEXT WEEK.

889
00:35:02,567 --> 00:35:04,067
YES?

890
00:35:04,067 --> 00:35:05,667
EVEN FLUXUS,
DEAN PORTER?

891
00:35:05,700 --> 00:35:07,267
YEAH. FALLS UNDER DADA.

892
00:35:07,300 --> 00:35:08,367
SO, NEXT WEEK

893
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:09,733
WE'LL DISCUSS
THE WAYS

894
00:35:09,767 --> 00:35:12,433
IN WHICH ART REVEALS ATTITUDES
ABOUT THE CULTURE.

895
00:35:12,467 --> 00:35:14,333
MM, BUT YOU WANTED ME
TO REMIND YOU TO ASSIGN

896
00:35:14,367 --> 00:35:15,333
EVERYONE TOPICS

897
00:35:15,367 --> 00:35:16,333
AT THE END OF
THE SESSION, BETTE--

898
00:35:16,367 --> 00:35:18,533
I MEAN, DEAN PORTER.

899
00:35:18,567 --> 00:35:19,967
THANK YOU, NADIA.

900
00:35:20,067 --> 00:35:22,167
SO, WE'LL DO THAT
BEGINNING OF NEXT SESSION.

901
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,100
I LOVE YOU, BETTE.

902
00:35:24,133 --> 00:35:25,367
WILL YOU MARRY ME?

903
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:26,400
SHUT UP.

904
00:35:26,433 --> 00:35:27,967
GOOD JOB, BETTE.

905
00:35:28,067 --> 00:35:29,833
YOU'VE GOT THEM
IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND.

906
00:35:29,867 --> 00:35:31,333
I WISH
I COULD DO IT EVERY DAY.

907
00:35:31,367 --> 00:35:32,500
THEN YOUR DEPARTMENT HEADS

908
00:35:32,533 --> 00:35:33,867
WOULD HAVE TO DO
THEIR OWN FUNDRAISING.

909
00:35:33,900 --> 00:35:35,233
[LAUGHS]

910
00:35:35,267 --> 00:35:37,067
I WANTED TO THANK YOU
FOR LAST NIGHT.

911
00:35:37,067 --> 00:35:38,833
I HAD A LOVELY TIME.

912
00:35:38,867 --> 00:35:41,167
WELL, I'M GLAD
YOU ENJOYED YOURSELF.

913
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,067
I ESPECIALLY LOVED ALICE.

914
00:35:43,067 --> 00:35:44,667
SHE'S SO VIBRANT.

915
00:35:44,700 --> 00:35:46,600
YEAH. SHE'S A GREAT GIRL.

916
00:35:46,633 --> 00:35:48,433
SO...

917
00:35:48,467 --> 00:35:50,433
DO YOU THINK
SHE LIKED ME?

918
00:35:56,567 --> 00:35:58,367
YOU KNOW HOW TO
WORK A CREDIT CARD?

919
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:01,067
NOT ACTUALLY, NO.

920
00:36:01,100 --> 00:36:03,500
I'M GOING TO GET
BLOODY MARTA TO HELP YOU.

921
00:36:03,533 --> 00:36:04,833
OKAY.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]

922
00:36:04,867 --> 00:36:05,867
OOH!

923
00:36:05,900 --> 00:36:08,133
GOOD MORNING. THE WAX.
HOW MAY I HELP YOU?

924
00:36:08,167 --> 00:36:09,533
NO, NO. SAY "WAX".

925
00:36:09,567 --> 00:36:11,733
SORRY. WAX!

926
00:36:11,767 --> 00:36:13,900
UM, MARTA.

927
00:36:13,933 --> 00:36:15,767
I'M SORRY, WHAT--

928
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,300
WHAT WAS THAT
YOU WERE SAYING?

929
00:36:17,333 --> 00:36:18,300
I NEED A BOX OF BONES,
REDS, TOO,

930
00:36:18,333 --> 00:36:19,733
AND SOME WAX
AND GRIP TAPE.

931
00:36:19,767 --> 00:36:22,100
I'M SORRY, COULD YOU JUST
GIVE ME ONE MOMENT?

932
00:36:22,133 --> 00:36:23,733
YOU NEED A BOX OF
RED BONES AND WHAT?

933
00:36:26,867 --> 00:36:30,433
UM, CAN YOU JUST
GIVE ME A MOMENT?

934
00:36:30,467 --> 00:36:32,967
[TELEPHONE RINGING]

935
00:36:37,067 --> 00:36:39,233
WOW!

936
00:36:39,267 --> 00:36:40,667
WOW. FANCY.

937
00:36:40,700 --> 00:36:42,400
I LIKE THIS.
THIS IS GOOD.

938
00:36:42,433 --> 00:36:43,833
A WHOLE NEW BETTE, HUH?

939
00:36:43,867 --> 00:36:45,167
ARTSY.

940
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:48,500
A LITTLE ARTSY-FARTSY
GOING ON HERE?

941
00:36:48,533 --> 00:36:50,500
WE HAVE A SITUATION, ALICE.

942
00:36:50,533 --> 00:36:52,400
WHAT, ARE YOU GOING TO
STICK ME IN THE CORNER

943
00:36:52,433 --> 00:36:54,067
WITH A DUNCE CAP ON,
PRINCIPAL PORTER?

944
00:36:54,067 --> 00:36:57,367
MY BOSS
IS ATTRACTED TO YOU.

945
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:58,867
REALLY?
YEAH.

946
00:36:58,900 --> 00:37:00,733
SHE THINKS YOU TWO
MADE A REAL CONNECTION.

947
00:37:00,767 --> 00:37:02,067
SHE SAID THAT YOU MADE

948
00:37:02,067 --> 00:37:03,533
MEANINGFUL
EYE CONTACT WITH HER.

949
00:37:03,567 --> 00:37:04,567
IS THAT TRUE?

950
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,233
SHE THINKS
I FLIRTED WITH HER?

951
00:37:06,267 --> 00:37:07,333
ALICE,
THIS ISN'T FUNNY.

952
00:37:07,367 --> 00:37:08,867
NO.
NO, IT'S NOT.

953
00:37:08,900 --> 00:37:09,900
SHE WEPT IN MY ARMS

954
00:37:09,933 --> 00:37:11,767
BECAUSE SHE'S BEEN
UNHAPPY FOR 25 YEARS

955
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:12,900
AND NOW SHE'S DYING
TO FIND OUT

956
00:37:12,933 --> 00:37:14,233
WHAT SHE'S BEEN MISSING,

957
00:37:14,267 --> 00:37:15,700
AND SHE THINKS
YOU SENT HER SIGNALS.

958
00:37:15,733 --> 00:37:18,367
SHE REALLY THINKS
I SENT HER SIGNALS?

959
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:19,600
REALLY?
YES.

960
00:37:19,633 --> 00:37:20,967
AND WE HAVE TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

961
00:37:21,067 --> 00:37:23,133
WE HAVE TO
LET HER DOWN EASY.

962
00:37:23,167 --> 00:37:24,833
OKAY. OKAY.

963
00:37:24,867 --> 00:37:26,867
ALICE, IT'S NOT FUNNY.

964
00:37:26,900 --> 00:37:30,167
NO. IT'S NOT FUNNY.

965
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:31,400
[WOMAN]: YOU GUYS,
THERE HE IS.

966
00:37:31,433 --> 00:37:32,467
[GIGGLING]:
ISN'T HE CUTE?

967
00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:33,533
NOW, THIS BATCH

968
00:37:33,567 --> 00:37:34,967
IS SUPPOSED TO BE
CHEESEBURGERS.

969
00:37:35,067 --> 00:37:36,067
ALL RIGHT.

970
00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:37,067
YOU'RE SURE
YOU DON'T MIND?

971
00:37:37,100 --> 00:37:38,067
NOT AT ALL.

972
00:37:38,100 --> 00:37:39,633
I'LL GO
GET THE BUNS.

973
00:37:39,667 --> 00:37:41,100
ALL RIGHT.

974
00:37:41,133 --> 00:37:42,400
HI, MAX.

975
00:37:42,433 --> 00:37:44,200
HEY.

976
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:47,367
I'M REALLY GLAD YOU CAME.

977
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,300
WELL, IT WAS NICE
OF YOUR DAD

978
00:37:49,333 --> 00:37:50,500
TO INVITE ME.

979
00:37:50,533 --> 00:37:52,233
I INVITED YOU.

980
00:37:52,267 --> 00:37:55,633
WELL, THEN, IT WAS NICE
OF YOU TO INVITE ME.

981
00:37:55,667 --> 00:37:58,167
[WOMAN #2]:
COME ON, BROOKE.

982
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,900
I'LL SEE YOU
IN A MINUTE, OKAY?

983
00:38:00,933 --> 00:38:02,067
ALL RIGHT.

984
00:38:10,067 --> 00:38:12,133
[SOTTO VOCE]: AW, MAN.

985
00:38:12,167 --> 00:38:14,300
[TELEPHONE RINGING]

986
00:38:14,333 --> 00:38:16,633
I'LL BE
RIGHT WITH YOU.

987
00:38:16,667 --> 00:38:17,867
BE RIGHT WITH YOU.

988
00:38:17,900 --> 00:38:19,967
GOOD AFTERNOON, THE W--
I MEAN, WAX.

989
00:38:20,067 --> 00:38:22,067
[**]

990
00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:23,933
SHANE?

991
00:38:23,967 --> 00:38:25,367
GUY GALLO.

992
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,200
MARKETING DIRECTOR
FOR HUGO BOSS.

993
00:38:27,233 --> 00:38:28,267
HI.

994
00:38:28,300 --> 00:38:30,933
I MET YOU AT CHERIE JAFFE'S
PARTY LAST WEEK.

995
00:38:30,967 --> 00:38:31,933
OH.

996
00:38:31,967 --> 00:38:33,567
YOU DON'T REMEMBER?

997
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:36,667
I DON'T.
I WAS A LITTLE, UM--

998
00:38:36,700 --> 00:38:38,633
YEAH.
YEAH, ME TOO.

999
00:38:38,667 --> 00:38:40,733
BUT YOU MADE QUITE
AN IMPRESSION ON ME.

1000
00:38:40,767 --> 00:38:44,633
I HAVE A PROPOSITION
FOR YOU.

1001
00:38:51,333 --> 00:38:54,133
[**]

1002
00:39:02,700 --> 00:39:05,533
MAX, YOU'RE WORKING
TOO HARD.

1003
00:39:05,567 --> 00:39:06,700
COME ON.

1004
00:39:06,733 --> 00:39:08,667
WHY DON'T YOU
COME INTO THE POOL?

1005
00:39:08,700 --> 00:39:09,867
NO.

1006
00:39:09,900 --> 00:39:11,333
TRY THEM ON.

1007
00:39:11,367 --> 00:39:12,700
I'LL TAKE SOME SNAPSHOTS,

1008
00:39:12,733 --> 00:39:15,100
THEN I'LL SEND THEM OVER
TO HUGO BOSS HIMSELF.

1009
00:39:15,133 --> 00:39:16,433
LOOK.

1010
00:39:16,467 --> 00:39:18,267
LOOK, I APPRECIATE
THAT YOU CAME DOWN HERE AND ALL,

1011
00:39:18,300 --> 00:39:20,300
BUT I'M NOT A MODEL.

1012
00:39:20,333 --> 00:39:23,100
IT'S A LUCRATIVE GIG.

1013
00:39:23,133 --> 00:39:25,833
YEAH, WELL, I'M SURE IT IS,
BUT I'M JUST--

1014
00:39:25,867 --> 00:39:28,100
I'M SORRY,
I'M NOT INTERESTED.

1015
00:39:28,133 --> 00:39:29,800
EXCUSE ME.

1016
00:39:29,833 --> 00:39:31,333
SHAY. HEY.

1017
00:39:31,367 --> 00:39:32,333
HOW YOU DOING?

1018
00:39:32,367 --> 00:39:33,400
HOW WAS SCHOOL?

1019
00:39:33,433 --> 00:39:34,333
YOU WANT TO GET
YOUR HOMEWORK DONE?

1020
00:39:34,367 --> 00:39:35,333
TAKE SOME TIME.

1021
00:39:35,367 --> 00:39:37,367
THINK ABOUT IT.

1022
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:38,400
NO.

1023
00:39:38,433 --> 00:39:40,533
BUT THANK YOU,
I APPRECIATE IT.

1024
00:39:40,567 --> 00:39:43,700
I'M SORRY, BROOKE.

1025
00:39:43,733 --> 00:39:45,233
I'M REALLY SORRY.

1026
00:39:45,267 --> 00:39:47,833
I JUST--

1027
00:39:47,867 --> 00:39:50,600
I HAVE THIS EAR CONDITION,
YOU KNOW?

1028
00:39:50,633 --> 00:39:54,067
EVER SINCE I WAS ON
THE SWIM TEAM IN HIGH SCHOOL

1029
00:39:54,067 --> 00:39:57,833
AND I...
I CAN'T GO IN THE WATER.

1030
00:39:57,867 --> 00:40:00,067
OKAY?

1031
00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:02,100
AND IT REALLY
BUMS ME OUT,

1032
00:40:02,133 --> 00:40:05,533
I SHOULDN'T HAVE FREAKED OUT
ON YOU LIKE THAT.

1033
00:40:05,567 --> 00:40:08,000
I'M REALLY SORRY.

1034
00:40:08,033 --> 00:40:10,367
I FORGIVE YOU.

1035
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,267
YOU DO?

1036
00:40:16,133 --> 00:40:17,833
I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU.

1037
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:26,100
DONALD, DON'T POINT.

1038
00:40:28,533 --> 00:40:29,833
HAVE A GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE,

1039
00:40:29,867 --> 00:40:31,000
AND DON'T FORGET TO GIVE ME
YOUR LISTS

1040
00:40:31,033 --> 00:40:33,267
FOR THE MAJOR DONORS RECEPTION
BY FRIDAY.

1041
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:36,767
LONG DAY, BETTE?

1042
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,200
YEAH, AND IT'S NOT OVER.

1043
00:40:38,233 --> 00:40:39,533
I STILL HAVE TO APPROVE
THE ARTWORK

1044
00:40:39,567 --> 00:40:40,800
FOR THE PRESENTATION.

1045
00:40:40,833 --> 00:40:42,033
PHYLLIS.

1046
00:40:42,067 --> 00:40:43,267
ALICE.

1047
00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:45,267
HELLO, PROFESSOR PORTER.

1048
00:40:45,300 --> 00:40:46,767
DEAN PORTER,
ALICE.

1049
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,267
YOU'RE DEMOTING HER.

1050
00:40:49,300 --> 00:40:51,433
I AM TAKING PHYLLIS
TO MURAKAMI.

1051
00:40:51,467 --> 00:40:53,600
LESBIAN SUSHI.

1052
00:40:53,633 --> 00:40:54,900
REALLY?

1053
00:40:54,933 --> 00:40:56,433
LESBIANS HAVE THEIR OWN
SPECIAL KIND OF SUSHI?

1054
00:40:56,467 --> 00:40:57,867
OH, YEAH.

1055
00:40:57,900 --> 00:41:02,067
PHYLLIS, I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD
ORDER BETTE OUT ON A DATE.

1056
00:41:02,067 --> 00:41:03,200
IS THIS A DATE?

1057
00:41:03,233 --> 00:41:04,533
SHE WORKS TOO HARD.

1058
00:41:04,567 --> 00:41:05,633
WELL,
I CAN'T EXACTLY

1059
00:41:05,667 --> 00:41:07,233
ORDER HER
TO GO OUT ON A DATE.

1060
00:41:07,267 --> 00:41:09,100
NO, YOU REALLY CAN'T.

1061
00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:10,467
BUT I DO HOPE

1062
00:41:10,500 --> 00:41:11,533
YOU'RE TAKING CARE OF
YOUR PERSONAL NEEDS, BETTE.

1063
00:41:11,567 --> 00:41:14,333
ACADEMIA CAN BE
SO VERY SUFFOCATING.

1064
00:41:14,367 --> 00:41:16,567
OH. YEAH.
SHE'S RIGHT.

1065
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,667
HAVE A GOOD DATE.

1066
00:41:18,700 --> 00:41:20,367
OKAY, THANKS.

1067
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,233
PHYLLIS.

1068
00:41:22,267 --> 00:41:24,600
FUCK, ALICE.

1069
00:41:26,567 --> 00:41:28,233
YOU'RE RIGHT,
IT'S MY FAULT.

1070
00:41:28,267 --> 00:41:30,333
I'VE COMPLETELY BOLLOXED UP
THE SCHEDULE.

1071
00:41:30,367 --> 00:41:31,433
I MEAN, MAYBE WE CAN--

1072
00:41:31,467 --> 00:41:33,233
MAKE-- SURE.

1073
00:41:33,267 --> 00:41:35,533
I'M SORRY,
I CAN'T REALLY TELL

1074
00:41:35,567 --> 00:41:37,200
WHICH IS THE FOAM
AND WHICH IS THE WAX.

1075
00:41:37,233 --> 00:41:39,533
MAYBE IF WE CAN...
HAVE A LOOK AT IT.

1076
00:41:39,567 --> 00:41:40,500
OH, YOU WANT--

1077
00:41:40,533 --> 00:41:41,533
YOU WANT
YOUR VISA BA--

1078
00:41:41,567 --> 00:41:42,600
FUCK!

1079
00:41:42,633 --> 00:41:45,300
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

1080
00:41:47,233 --> 00:41:48,667
THIS IS YOURS.
AND, OH-- FUCK!

1081
00:41:48,700 --> 00:41:51,800
AND, UM,
THESE ARE YOURS.

1082
00:41:51,833 --> 00:41:53,167
AND--

1083
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:54,467
HELLO?

1084
00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:57,067
[DIAL TONE BUZZING]

1085
00:41:58,233 --> 00:42:00,400
[RECEIVER SETTLES IN CRADLE]

1086
00:42:00,433 --> 00:42:02,933
THAT BAD, HUH?

1087
00:42:05,267 --> 00:42:10,567
I'M JUST NOT UP TO THIS,
SHANE.

1088
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:11,667
I'M SORRY.

1089
00:42:11,700 --> 00:42:13,067
[SIGHING]

1090
00:42:13,067 --> 00:42:14,933
THANKS FOR THE OPPORTUNITY,
THOUGH.

1091
00:42:14,967 --> 00:42:18,567
YOU KNOW, I, UH...

1092
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:21,200
I CAN GUARANTEE
THAT THERE'S SOMETHING

1093
00:42:21,233 --> 00:42:22,600
THAT YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT.

1094
00:42:22,633 --> 00:42:24,733
I DO.

1095
00:42:24,767 --> 00:42:26,733
BUT I JUST THINK
YOU JUST NEED TO

1096
00:42:26,767 --> 00:42:27,800
TAKE THE TIME

1097
00:42:27,833 --> 00:42:31,100
AND FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS.

1098
00:42:32,667 --> 00:42:33,633
THANKS.

1099
00:42:33,667 --> 00:42:35,400
DON'T WORRY
ABOUT THIS.

1100
00:42:35,433 --> 00:42:36,467
IT'S A FUCKING MESS,
BUT--

1101
00:42:36,500 --> 00:42:38,533
YEAH,
IT'S A REAL MESS.

1102
00:42:38,567 --> 00:42:39,667
LET'S GO LOCK UP.

1103
00:42:39,700 --> 00:42:40,667
CAN YOU GET MY BAG?

1104
00:42:40,700 --> 00:42:43,200
THANKS, SHAY.

1105
00:42:43,233 --> 00:42:45,067
THANKS, SHANE.

1106
00:42:45,100 --> 00:42:46,367
OH, PLEASE.

1107
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,867
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

1108
00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:50,467
ALL RIGHT.

1109
00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:52,500
GRAB THAT.

1110
00:42:55,700 --> 00:42:57,867
OH. NADIA.

1111
00:42:57,900 --> 00:42:59,400
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

1112
00:42:59,433 --> 00:43:01,233
I SEEM TO REMEMBER

1113
00:43:01,267 --> 00:43:02,900
WHEN YOU WERE
INTERVIEWING T.A. CANDIDATES

1114
00:43:02,933 --> 00:43:04,300
THAT YOU SAID,

1115
00:43:04,333 --> 00:43:07,267
"IF I'M WORKING,
YOU'RE WORKING."

1116
00:43:07,300 --> 00:43:11,400
I FINISHED THE FIRST SET
FOR THE MEDIA LAB.

1117
00:43:14,833 --> 00:43:16,700
GOD, YOU ARE REALLY TALENTED.

1118
00:43:20,267 --> 00:43:23,300
THAT MEANS A LOT
COMING FROM YOU.

1119
00:43:29,833 --> 00:43:33,833
[VOICES IN BACKGROUND,
STREET NOISES]

1120
00:43:45,167 --> 00:43:47,167
NADIA?

1121
00:43:49,067 --> 00:43:50,667
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

1122
00:43:50,700 --> 00:43:53,333
ECHO PARK.

1123
00:43:53,367 --> 00:43:55,800
DO YOU NEED A RIDE?

1124
00:43:55,833 --> 00:43:58,100
YEAH.

1125
00:43:58,133 --> 00:43:59,867
I DON'T WANT TO TROUBLE YOU.

1126
00:43:59,900 --> 00:44:01,533
NO. IT'S NO TROUBLE.

1127
00:44:01,567 --> 00:44:04,100
I MEAN, IT'S MORE OR LESS
ON MY WAY HOME, SO...

1128
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,733
WOULD IT BE WRONG

1129
00:44:31,767 --> 00:44:33,133
IF I TOLD YOU

1130
00:44:33,167 --> 00:44:36,800
THAT I CAN'T
KEEP MY EYES OFF OF YOU?

1131
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,233
YES.

1132
00:44:43,333 --> 00:44:45,333
WOULD IT BE WRONG
IF I TOLD YOU

1133
00:44:45,367 --> 00:44:48,700
THAT YOU WERE
THE MOST...

1134
00:44:48,733 --> 00:44:52,067
INTRIGUING PERSON
THAT I'VE EVER MET?

1135
00:44:54,733 --> 00:44:57,133
YES.

1136
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,833
WOULD IT BE WRONG
IF I TOLD YOU

1137
00:45:01,867 --> 00:45:04,200
THAT I HAVE NEVER
WANTED TO KISS SOMEONE

1138
00:45:04,233 --> 00:45:07,733
MORE THAN I WANT TO
KISS YOU RIGHT NOW?

1139
00:45:16,833 --> 00:45:18,767
[PARKING BRAKE CREAKS]

1140
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:20,800
NADIA.

1141
00:45:25,467 --> 00:45:27,767
[**]

1142
00:45:31,567 --> 00:45:33,067
[MOANING]

1143
00:45:33,067 --> 00:45:37,300
[**]

1144
00:46:15,700 --> 00:46:17,767
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY:

1145
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:22,067
LINE 21 MEDIA SERVICES LTD.
VANCOUVER, B.C. 2006