[ BAND PLAYS ]
♪ THAT GIRL DOWN
AT THE HARDWARE STORE ♪
♪ SHE'S A LOT OF FUN ♪
♪ SHE SAYS, "YOU KNOW IT
TAKES THE RIGHT TOOL ♪
♪ TO GET
THE RIGHT JOB DONE." ♪
♪ SOMEONE SO HANDY
TO HAVE AROUND ♪
♪ WHY GUESSTIMATE DIMENSIONS
WHEN A TAPE MEASURE'S SO NICE ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO CUT
JUST ONCE ♪
♪ YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA
MEASURE TWICE ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY IF YOU MAKE
A MESS ♪
♪ DIRTY HANDS
ON YOUR PARTY DRESS ♪
♪ SOMEONE SO HANDY
TO HAVE AROUND ♪
♪ WHEN I WALKED OUT
OF THAT STORE ♪
♪ SO HAPPY I'D GONE IN IT ♪
♪ SHE TOOK ME AND MY CREDIT CARD
WAY BEYOND THE LIMIT ♪
♪ NO MORE YELLOW PAGES ♪
♪ ALL BECAUSE I'VE FOUND ♪
♪ SOMEONE SO HANDY ♪
♪ TO HAVE AROUND ♪
♪ SO HANDY
TO HAVE AROUND ♪
♪ SOMEONE SO HANDY ♪
♪ TO HAVE AROUND ♪
[ ♪♪ ]
[ TECHNO MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
LOOK, WHEN I SAY
I'VE BEEN WITH PEOPLE,
I DON'T MEAN 20 OR 30.
OKAY, SO WHAT,
LIKE, HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS?
WHAT?
SOMEWHERE
BETWEEN...
950 AND 1,200
SINCE I WAS 14.
WHOA.
WELL, WHATEVER, YOU KNOW,
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I DON'T CARE.
I TURNED TRICKS ON SANTA MONICA
WITH MY FRIEND CLIVE,
AND ALL THESE GUYS THOUGHT
I WAS SOME LITTLE STREET FAG,
AND I COULD'VE BEEN KILLED.
THAT'S SO COOL
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT,
RIGHT?
CLEA, IT'S NOT COOL.
LISTEN,
I LIKE YOU,
BUT WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME
ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN.
OKAY, YOU KNOW,
I KNOW, IT'S BECAUSE
OF MY FATHER, RIGHT?
YOU GUYS, YOU HAVE
THIS BUSINESS TOGETHER.
CLEA, I'M INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE.
OH.
ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HER?
YEAH...
I AM.
HEY, GIRL.
HEY, YOU OKAY?
NO.
HEY, YOU HANG IN THERE.
SHE'LL BE BACK
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.
I HOPE NOT.
WHOA.
OKAY, WELL, YOU FINALLY SAID IT.
CAN I SAY WHAT IT IS NOW, HMM?
YOU DESERVE
TO BE HAPPY.
YOUR HAPPINESS
IS JUST AS IMPORTANT
AS ANYBODY ELSE'S.
COME ON, THE PLANET IS YOURS.
IF YOU AND FRANCESCA
ARE SPLITTING UP,
SHE'S NOT GOING TO
TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU.
YES, SHE IS.
AT BEST,
SHE WANTS TO BE BOUGHT OUT.
I SAT UP ALL NIGHT
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
HOW I CAN COME UP
WITH THAT MUCH MONEY.
THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
I WORK SO HARD.
WHERE'S TRISH?
I DECIDED TO COOL IT
FOR A WHILE.
OH, YEAH?
MM-HMM.
HMM.
WHY?
I WAS ACCEPTED AT THE G.S.I.E.
I'M FINALLY GETTING
MY TEACHING DEGREE.
WOW, THAT'S...THAT'S AMAZING.
YEAH,
SO WHEN I SWITCH DEPARTMENTS,
TRISH AND I
CAN SEE ONE ANOTHER AGAIN
IF WE STILL WANT TO.
DID SHE CRY
WHEN YOU TOLD HER
YOU HAD TO BREAK UP WITH HER?
YEAH, SHE DID.
YEAH.
HOW'S YOUR WRITING?
IT'S GOOD.
I'M ACTUALLY...
WORKING ON A STORY
RIGHT NOW
ABOUT A WOMAN
THAT'S BEEN MUTE
FROM BIRTH,
AND THEN
SHE DISCOVERS
THAT SHE'S ABLE TO SPEAK
THE LANGUAGE OF MANATEES.
♪ I AM THE MAN, BABY,
THAT'S WHAT I AM ♪
♪ I'M A STRAIGHT SHOOTER WITH A
MASTER PLAN ♪
♪ I AM THE MAN, BABY
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE ♪
♪ I AM THE MAN, I AM THE MAN,
I AM THE MAN ♪
[ CHEERING ]
♪ I AM THE MAN,
I AM THE MAN ♪
♪ I AM THE MAN, I AM THE MAN,
I AM THE MAN ♪
♪ COME ON ♪
♪ AH ♪
[ CHEERING ]
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, GIVE IT UP,
LET'S HAVE SOME LOVE FOR--
THAT WAS PHIL MCCULKIN.
ALL RIGHT,
NOW FOR OUR FINAL
KING OF THE NIGHT,
LET'S GIVE A GOOD, HOT WELCOME
TO IVAN AYCOCK.
[ ♪♪ ]
[ WOMAN ]:
ALL RIGHT, SHAKE IT, BABY!
WHOO!
♪ I WAS STANDING
ON THE CORNER OF THE AVENUE ♪
♪ I WAS WATCHING ALL THE GIRLS
GO BY ♪
♪ AND THERE SHE WAS
IN A FIVE- AND TEN-CENT STORE ♪
♪ SOMEHOW
I GOT TO MAKE HER MINE ♪
♪ YEAH, SOMEHOW
I GOT TO MAKE HER MINE ♪
HEY, ISN'T THAT ROBIN, THAT
GIRL JENNY'S GOING OUT WITH?
RIGHT THERE?
OH, YEAH, IT IS.
♪ AND THERE SHE WAS,
SHE WAS CHECKING MY COUNT ♪
♪ SOMEHOW
I GOT TO MAKE HER MINE ♪
♪ YEAH, SOMEHOW
I GOT TO MAKE HER MINE ♪
♪ SHE GOT STYLE
SHE GOT TASTE ♪
♪ SHE GOT A BEAUTIFUL FACE
SHE GOT SAVOIR FAIRE ♪
♪ SHE DON'T NEED NO HOOK
SHE GOT MORE THAN GOOD LOOKS ♪
♪ SHE GOT SAVOIR FAIRE ♪
WHOO!
I HAVE A DATE
ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT.
ANYONE I KNOW?
UM...NO.
HER NAME IS ROBIN,
AND I MET HER AT PALM SPRINGS
WHEN I...
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WENT WITH TINA
AND ALL OF THEM.
AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS
BECAUSE...
WELL, BECAUSE YOU KNOW
THAT I CAN'T AFFORD RESTAURANTS
RIGHT NOW.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU'RE ASKING
TO BORROW MONEY FROM ME
FOR A DATE
BECAUSE I'VE GOT
TO TELL YOU--
NO, I WASN'T,
I WAS ASKING YOU IF IT'S OKAY
IF I HAD HER
AT MY PLACE.
I WAS GOING TO MAKE
A SALAD NICOISE.
WEDNESDAY'S
BASKETBALL AND BEER
NIGHT,
SO I'M NOT GOING TO BE HOME
TILL LATE.
IF YOU WANT,
YOU CAN USE THE KITCHEN,
MAKE YOUR SALAD.
HEY, HEY.
HELLO.
HOW'S EVERYTHING?
I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU.
SHANE.
WHAT?
CHECK IT OUT.
HOW ABOUT...
[ SHANE ]:
SHIT. THAT SUCKS.
[ ALICE ]:
WELL, DO YOU THINK--
DO YOU THINK SHE THOUGHT
WHEN I SAID...
LIKE, WHEN I POINTED HER OUT,
THAT I DIDN'T--
NO.
THAT IS SO...WRONG.
YEP.
HEY, IVAN.
OH, HEY.
THIS WAS
ONE OF THE BEST NIGHTS OF MUSIC
I HAVE EVER HAD.
I MEAN...
AND THANK YOU FOR ORGANIZING
"THE KINGS
OF THE NIGHT."
IT WAS THE BOMB.
THE PLEASURE WAS ALL MINE.
HEY, WHY DON'T YOU
MAKE ROOM
FOR THE LADY?
WHAT CAN I
GET YOU, KIT?
UM...OH, NOTHING.
I'M FINE.
WELL, WHAT'S YOUR DRINK?
I MEAN, A PINK LADY,
CAJUN MARTINI,
MAYBE A SIMPLE WHISKEY SODA?
I'M KEEPING DRY THESE DAYS.
WELL, THAT'S A FINE THING
FOR A BEAUTIFUL LADY.
YOU IN THE PROGRAM?
YEAH, I AM.
11 YEARS NEXT MONTH.
CONGRATULATIONS.
I'M...
37 DAYS.
37 DAYS IS A LIFETIME.
LOOK,
IF YOU EVER NEED
ANYONE TO TALK TO,
OR FOR ANY OTHER REASON...
GIVE ME A CALL, OKAY?
THANKS.
WHOA.
YOU'RE NOT LEAVING
ALREADY, ARE YOU?
OSCAR AND I ARE DUE IN COURT
AT 8:15.
ARTHUR CROFT
AGREED
TO REPRESENT US PRO BONO
AGAINST CLAY PATTERSON.
WOW, DID YOU--DID YOU LAND
ARTHUR CROFT?
UH-HUH. REMEMBER?
I MET HIM WHEN WARNERS GOT SUED
OVER THAT SCRIPT I DEVELOPED?
WOW, TINA.
OSCAR MUST JUST BE
BESIDE HIMSELF.
YEAH, AND THEN,
AFTER WE'RE FINISHED IN COURT,
I HAVE A MEETING
WITH THESE JUNIOR HIGH
STUDENTS
FROM SOUTH CENTRAL.
WE'RE STARTING
AN ORGANIC FOOD CO-OP
AT THEIR SCHOOL.
ISN'T THAT COOL?
WELL, YEAH, THAT--
THAT'S GREAT.
UM, OH, WAIT, THE...
MY JIL SANDER SUIT,
DO YOU KNOW?
DO YOU HAVE
ANY IDEA?
UM, I THINK
IT'S AT THE DRY CLEANERS.
I...
I DROPPED IT OFF
LAST WEEK.
OH, GREAT, THEN YOU COULD
PICK IT UP TODAY, THEN?
UH-UH, I...
CAN YOU GET JAMES TO DO IT?
I'M HAVING
A REALLY BUSY WEEK.
OKAY?
BYE.
SO OKAY, SO HE GETS
HIS PREDNISONE
AT 11:00 AND 2:00,
AND IF FOR SOME REASON
I'M NOT HOME BY 5:00,
JUST GO AHEAD AND GIVE HIM
HIS LIQUID
THYROID MEDICINE.
IT COMES
IN THREE FLAVORS,
CHICKEN, TUNA,
AND SARDINE,
SO, YOU KNOW, JUST SEE
WHAT HE'S IN THE MOOD FOR.
OKAY.
BYE, BABY.
BYE.
[ MOANING ]
THANK YOU.
BYE, SWEETIE
PIDDLY PIE.
TON-TON'S
GOING TO TAKE
EXTRA SPECIAL CARE
OF YOU,
MY HANDSOME, LOVER BOY,
PUSS POT.
OH, YES, OH, YES.
[ PURRING ]
[ KISSES ]
OH, YES.
OKAY.
BYE.
[ CAT MEOWS ]
[ MEOWING CONTINUES ]
[ PHONE DIALING ]
[ LINE TRILLING ]
DEB. IT'S TONYA.
YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE
WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW.
WE'RE READY TO INSTALL
IN THE MAIN GALLERIES,
BUT I WANT YOU TO KEEP
THE ANISH KAPOOR CRATED
UNTIL OUR TECHNICIAN
ARRIVES.
YEAH.
BETTE.
HOLD ON.
I THINK YOU SHOULD COME DOWN
AND SEE WHAT'S GOING ON
OUT HERE.
[ SIGHS ]
I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
WHAT?
WE HAVE PROTESTERS
SETTING UP OUTSIDE.
[ SHOUTS FROM CROWD ]
MA'AM,
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO IN THERE.
YES, I DO.
ARE YOU AWARE
THAT THIS SO-CALLED MUSEUM
IS RUN BY HOMOSEXUAL
PORNOGRAPHERS?
ARE YOU
A HOMOSEXUAL PORNOGRAPHER?
GET OUT OF MY FACE, SLIMEBALL.
THE CAC SHOULD BE SHUT DOWN,
AND THE PEOPLE INSIDE
LOCKED AWAY!
YEAH!
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT!
HAVE YOU SEEN IT OUT THERE?
YEAH,
ONE OF THEM TRIED TO BLOCK ME
FROM COMING IN THE MUSEUM.
ARE YOU OKAY?
YEAH, I'M FINE.
I HAVE MOVERS DUE
WITH A SHIPMENT OF ARTWORK
IN 40 MINUTES,
I HAVE FIVE ARTISTS
ARRIVING
TO DO
INSTALLATION WORK,
AND I HAVE A BUNCH OF LUNATICS
OUT IN THE COURTYARD
WHO APPARENTLY WANT TO SEE ME
TARRED AND FEATHERED...
BUT THE MAIN GALLERY
LOOKS GREAT.
WELL, WE'RE NEARLY FINISHED.
HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU
SOME DRAWINGS
OF THE SHOJI SCREENS.
OKAY.
SO...
FUCK.
I'M SORRY, I...
WHAT HAPPENED THE OTHER NIGHT
CANNOT HAPPEN AGAIN.
YOU UNDERSTAND?
UM...OKAY,
THIS IS NOT
A BEARING WALL,
SO I FIGURED WE'D JUST ERECT
THE SCAFFOLDING HERE,
AND...
[ DOOR OPENS ]
BETTE, THEY HAVE ALMOST
A HUNDRED PEOPLE
OUT THERE.
THEY'RE THREATENING
TO NOT LET THE ARTWORK
INTO THE MUSEUM.
JESUS.
WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?
SHOULD WE CALL THE POLICE?
THE POLICE ARE HERE,
BUT THEY'RE NOT GOING
TO HELP YOU.
THESE PROTESTERS
HAVE A PERMIT.
WHAT ABOUT THE ALLEY?
CAN'T WE TAKE THE TRUCKS
OUT BACK
AND LOAD IN
FROM THERE?
NO, NO, NO,
THEY'RE BLOCKING THAT, TOO.
THIS IS CRAZY.
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO RESCHEDULE,
AND I'M NOT GOING TO BACK DOWN
FROM THESE LUNATICS.
HAVE YOU EVER DONE
CLINIC DEFENSE?
ABORTION CLINICS?
NO, I HAVEN'T,
I'VE JUST WRITTEN CHECKS.
WELL, WHEN
WE USED TO DO
CLINIC DEFENSE,
THERE'D BE, I DON'T KNOW,
40, 50, 60 OF THEM
TO EVERY 20 OF US,
AND SO WE FIGURED
THE ONLY WAY
TO GET A CLIENT
PAST THEM...
WELL, WE WOULD
LINK ARMS
AND FORM A COLUMN
TO THE STREET.
THEN THE CLIENT
WOULD GET OUT
OF HER CAR.
SHE'D BE IMMEDIATELY
INSIDE OF OUR COLUMN,
AND THEN WE'D GET HER
SAFELY INSIDE.
LIKE A HUMAN SHIELD.
YEAH.
AND HOW MANY PEOPLE DOES IT TAKE
TO DO SOMETHING
LIKE THAT?
AS MANY AS POSSIBLE.
ALL RIGHT, JAMES, I WANT YOU
TO ASK EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE.
I THINK WE HAVE ABOUT 25 PEOPLE.
OKAY?
AND LET'S GET ON THE PHONE.
I WANT YOU TO CALL ALL
THE ARTISTS THAT ARE IN TOWN.
I WANT YOU TO CALL YOUR FRIENDS.
WE NEED BODIES.
OKAY.
WINE?
I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.
I HAVE A CLASS OF 10-YEAR-OLDS
ASPIRING TO BE
TIGHTROPE WALKERS.
OH, DON'T WORRY,
WE'LL HAVE IT TONIGHT.
GRAZIE.
OH, ACTUALLY,
I...I CAN'T DO THAT EITHER.
I ALREADY HAVE PLANS.
WHAT KIND OF PLANS?
OR IS THAT A SECRET? OH.
NO, IT'S NOT A SECRET.
NO, YOU SHOULD
NEVER TELL
SECRETS,
NEVER.
TELL ME
SOMETHING ELSE.
DO YOU LIKE TO READ?
UM, I GUESS,
WHEN I...WHEN I HAVE TIME.
I'M NOT EXACTLY A BIG READER.
HAVE YOU EVER READ
ANYTHING
BY ANNE CARSON?
UM, I DON'T THINK SO.
DOES SHE WRITE NOVELS, OR...
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A BOOK.
YOU CAN TAKE IT WITH YOU
WHEN YOU RUN AWAY
WITH THE CIRCUS.
IT'S CALLED EROS
THE BITTERSWEET.
IT'S VERY ROMANTIC.
MISS PORTER.
WITH ALL
THE CONTROVERSY,
IS THE CAC
STILL GOING AHEAD
WITH THE PROVOCATION
SHOW?
WITHOUT
THE SLIGHTEST HESITATION.
I NOTICE FAE BUCKLEY
ISN'T HERE.
DO YOU KNOW
WHERE SHE IS?
I HAVE NO IDEA.
DID YOU RUIN HER
BY EXPOSING
HER FAMILY TRAGEDY?
DID YOU GO TOO FAR?
I HAVE TO GO. EXCUSE ME.
LINK ARMS,
MOVE AROUND TO THE LEFT,
LINK ARMS.
YOU ARE OBSTRUCTING
COMMERCE.
IF YOU DO NOT LET
THESE MOVERS THROUGH,
YOU'LL BE VIOLATING THE LAW.
TELL THEM NO.
FILTH AS ART HAS GOT TO GO.
SHUT THEM DOWN. TELL THEM NO.
FILTH AS ART HAS GOT TO GO.
MY GOD,
IT'S A FULL-SCALE WAR.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.
LOOK, BETTE,
DANA'S COMING, TOO.
WHERE'S TINA?
I DON'T KNOW.
I LEFT WORD FOR HER.
SHE AND OSCAR
WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IN COURT
EARLIER THIS MORNING.
I CAN'T GET THROUGH.
FILTH AS ART HAS GOT TO GO.
SHUT THEM DOWN. TELL THEM NO.
FILTH AS ART HAS GOT TO GO.
HEY.
SO COME BY AFTER WORK.
I'LL HAVE THE BOOK FOR YOU.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL JUST COME BY
TOMORROW.
NO, I WON'T KEEP YOU LONG,
JUST COME BY LATER.
OKAY, FINE.
YOU'RE
VERY PERSISTENT.
AH, PERSISTANCE, C'EST LA MERE
DE TOUS LES SUCCES.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
HEY.
HEY, MARINA.
UM, MARINA,
REMEMBER WHEN WE TALKED
ABOUT KIND OF A PLAN?
WELL, WE ARE GOING
TO FIND YOU
SOME PARTNERS,
AND WE'RE GOING
TO RAISE SOME MONEY,
AND YOU ARE GOING
TO BUY FRANCESCA OUT.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
YOU COULD BE MY PARTNER.
I...
OKAY, WELL,
MAYBE WHEN SOME OF MY ROYALTIES
COME IN.
YOU KNOW,
I HAVEN'T SEEN ONE CENT
FROM THAT SLIM DADDY SONG.
WHAT ABOUT BETTE?
SHE COULD LEND YOU THE MONEY.
OH, UH-UH-UH.
I MEAN, COME ON,
YOU'RE GOOD FOR IT.
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M ON MY WAY OVER THERE NOW
AS SOON AS IVAN GETS HERE, SO--
IVAN?
IVAN IS
RIGHT OVER THERE.
OH...YEAH, RIGHT.
UM, HEY.
HEY.
IVAN,
HOW YOU DOING?
ALWAYS GOOD.
OKAY.
UH, YEAH, SHOULD WE--
WE'D BETTER GET GOING,
I GUESS.
YEAH, LET'S GO.
HEY, GIRL,
I'LL CATCH YOU LATER, OKAY?
YEAH, HAVE A GREAT TIME.
DON'T FORGET TO ASK BETTE.
WHERE'S TINA?
WHICH GODLESS
PIECE OF FILTH IS THAT?
WHICH RELIC
OF SATAN?
WHICH AFFRONT TO DECENCY?
BACK OFF.
YOU'RE GETTING
TOO CLOSE.
YOU HEARD HER.
SHE SAID, BACK OFF.
DON'T LET HIM
TOUCH IT!
GET OFF OF ME!
THAT'S THE ONE. GET HER.
SHE MADE A VIDEO
OF HERSELF
BEING SODOMIZED
BY JESUS CHRIST.
SHE'S ON HER KNEES, NAKED,
WITH CHRIST COMMITTING
UNSPEAKABLE ACTS ON HER.
[ SIREN WAILS ]
[ SHOUTS FROM CROWD CONTINUE ]
HOLY SHIT.
WHOA, HEY, HEY, HEY.
I'VE GOT TO HELP HER!
HEY, YOU HAVE A D.U.I.
YOU GO GET YOURSELF ARRESTED,
IT'LL BE YEARS
BEFORE YOU GET A LICENSE AGAIN,
ALL RIGHT?
ANYWAY, THAT'S YOUR SISTER
RIGHT THERE,
ISN'T IT? HUH?
YEAH.
KIT, COME ON.
SHE NEEDS YOU
ON THE OUTSIDE.
YOU CAN'T DO
ANYTHING HERE.
[ REPORTER ]: BETTE, BETTE,
IS THIS YOUR FIRST ARREST?
HOW WILL YOU
PLEAD?
COME ON. IT'S OKAY.
LET'S GO.
NO, I...
[ HARMONICA MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
OW. GOD.
OH, GOD,
I'M GOING TO DIE
IF MY PARENTS
FIND OUT ABOUT THIS.
WELL, LOOK AT THE UPSIDE.
NOW BEING A DYKE
WON'T BE A BIG DEAL.
THIS IS ABSURD.
YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM MY--
[ WOLF WHISTLES ]
HEY, GOOD-LOOKING.
[ HARMONICA MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
REMOVE YOUR SHOES
AND ANY
HARD OBJECTS,
INCLUDING COMBS,
HAIRPINS,
ALL WATCHES...
AND CELL PHONES.
OH, BOY.
NO, THAT'S LIKE
TAKING HER LIFE SUPPORT AWAY.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
JUST LET IT GO,
SHANE.
IT'S OKAY.
TAKE THE
FUCKING PHONE.
DON'T LOSE THAT.
I'LL ALSO NEED
ALL YOUR JEWELRY...
AND YOUR EYEGLASSES.
[ JENNY ]:
THE WHALE SWAM CLOSE TO HER...
MAKING ODD
CLICK-LIKE SOUNDS.
UNTIL THIS MOMENT,
HER IMAGINATION
HAD BEEN ENOUGH.
[ WHALE CLICKING ]
SHE UNDERSTOOD IT HAD TO BE
THE CORE OF DESIRE...
YOLANDA, HEY, IT'S CANDACE.
LISTEN, I'M IN A LITTLE BIT
OF TROUBLE HERE.
FUCK, TINA,
I KNOW YOU'RE REAL BUSY
SAVING THE WORLD AND EVERYTHING,
BUT I NEED YOU TO START
ANSWERING YOUR PHONE.
HEY, CHERIE, IT'S ME.
LOOK,
I'M GOING TO BE A LITTLE LATE
FOR OUR DATE TONIGHT.
IS HE GETTING HIS MEDICINE?
IS HE LISTLESS?
HAS HE HAD A POO?
ALICE, IT'S MOM.
CAN YOU DROP MY HEAD SHOTS
BY MY AGENT'S?
[ BETTE ]: WHY ARE WE BEING HELD
SEPARATELY?
BECAUSE
YOU'RE HIGH RISK.
DANGEROUS
RINGLEADERS.
AREN'T YOU GOING TO SIT DOWN?
I CAN'T.
WHY?
I CAN'T SIT NEAR YOU.
WHAT IF YOU STAY
ON ONE SIDE OF THE COT?
I'LL STAY ON THE OTHER.
WE'LL DRAW AN IMAGINARY LINE
DOWN THE MIDDLE.
I DON'T THINK
THAT'S GOING TO WORK FOR ME.
I AM IN SO MUCH TROUBLE.
DO YOU WANT TO PLAY
AN ALPHABET GAME?
[ WHALE CLICKING ]
I STILL WANT IT
TO BE A MANATEE.
KEELA. HEY.
HAVE YOU EVER MET
A MANATEE?
NO.
THEY HAVE THE CRAZIEST
MATING BEHAVIOR
OF ANY SEA MAMMAL.
SHE LIKES YOU.
HAVE YOU EVER MET A MANATEE?
YEAH,
THERE WAS A SMALL HERD OF THEM
BEACHED OFF THE COAST
OF BOCA RATON
LAST MONTH,
AND I WAS ONE
OF THE BIOLOGISTS
CALLED IN
TO PROTECT THEM.
I'M GENE FEINBERG.
JENNY SCHECTER.
HEY.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO THEM?
WHY WERE THEY BEACHED?
WELL, THE ONE FEMALE WAS RUNNING
AWAY FROM THE FIVE MALES.
SHE STAYS IN HEAT
FOR...A MONTH,
AND THE BULLS
SPEND THE ENTIRE TIME
SMASHING
INTO EACH OTHER,
TRYING TO HAVE SEX
WITH HER.
THEN THEY JUST
KIND OF DITCH HER
ONCE SHE'S PREGNANT.
GOSH, THAT SOUNDS
LIKE A LOT OF HUMANS.
PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S NOT
YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH MEN.
NO,
NOT EXCLUSIVELY.
WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
DO YOU WORK HERE?
MM-HMM.
ASSISTANT CURATOR OF FISH
AND AQUARIUM
DIVE COORDINATOR,
AND...
YOU, IT APPEARS, WORK
AT A GROCERY STORE?
OH, GOD.
CAN YOU CAN TELL THAT
BY LOOKING AT ME?
OH, WELL,
I'M FAMILIAR
WITH THE RED-AND-WHITE
CHECKED...
OH, MY GOD.
BLOUSE THING.
LAURELWOOD FARMS,
RIGHT?
YES.
I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT FISH HAD CURATORS.
I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT NICE JEWISH GIRLS
WORKED IN GROCERY STORES.
IS THAT YOUR LIFE'S
CALLING, OR...
NO, IT'S NOT MY LIFE'S CALLING.
I'M...I'M A FICTION WRITER.
COOL.
HOW DO YOU KNOW
THAT I'M A NICE JEWISH GIRL?
ARE YOU IMPLYING
THAT YOU'RE NOT NICE?
TOO MANY GRAPES,
KEELA.
[ WHALE CLICKING ]
UM...
IF YOU WANTED
TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME,
I COULD TELL YOU
EVERYTHING I KNOW
ABOUT MANATEES.
THANKS.
OKAY.
UM...BYE.
BYE.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
EROS THE BITTERSWEET, HUH?
OKAY, I'LL READ IT.
WAIT, THERE IS
A PASSAGE
THAT IS
SO BEAUTIFUL.
I WOULD LOVE TO--
YOU KNOW WHAT, MARINA?
I REALLY...I GOT TO GO.
I'M SORRY.
OF COURSE.
THANKS.
HMM.
"THE GREEK WORD 'EROS'
DENOTES 'WANT,' 'LACK,'
"THE DESIRE
FOR THAT WHICH IS MISSING.
"THE LOVER WANTS
WHAT IT DOES NOT HAVE.
"IT IS BY DEFINITION
IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM
"TO HAVE
WHAT HE WANTS,
"IF...
"AS SOON
AS IT IS HAD,
IT IS NO LONGER
WANTING."
[ SIGHS ]
EXCUSE ME, HOW MUCH LONGER
IS THIS GOING TO BE?
YOU KNOW...
YOU KNOW,
THIS IS REALLY RIDICULOUS.
NOW, I HAVE BEEN HERE
I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG,
TRYING TO JUST--
HEY, HEY, HEY,
SIT TIGHT.
OKAY? OKAY?
I'M GOING TO
GO HUSTLE UP
A COUPLE OF BAIL BONDS
JUST IN CASE
NOBODY SHOWS UP WITH CASH...
OH.
AND I'LL BRING YOU
SOME REESE'S CUPS.
HOW DO YOU KNOW
THAT'S WHAT I WAS JONESING FOR?
OFFICER, I'M FRANKLIN PHILLIPS,
CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD
OF THE CALIFORNIA ART CENTER.
I'M HERE
TO POST BAIL
FOR BETTE PORTER.
THANK GOD.
WHERE YOU BEEN, MAN?
WELL,
I'VE BEEN AT A COCKTAIL PARTY
FOR THE GOVERNOR.
WHO ARE YOU?
KIT PORTER, BETTE'S SISTER.
OH. WELL, NICE TO MEET YOU.
CAN WE HURRY THIS UP, PLEASE?
WE'VE GOT A LOT
OF PAPERWORK
TO PROCESS.
YOU MIGHT WANT
TO HAVE A SEAT.
MS. PORTER.
[ SIGHS ]
GO AHEAD, DO THE "W"s.
WEST VIRGINIA,
WASHINGTON,
WISCONSIN...
WYOMING.
I THINK THAT'S IT.
THERE ARE NO "X," "Y"s, OR "Z"s.
[ SIGHS ]
LET'S DO MATH.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
TWO PLUS TWO
EQUALS FOUR.
THE SQUARE
OF THE HYPOTENUSE SIDE
OF A RIGHT TRIANGLE
IS EQUAL
TO THE SUM OF THE SQUARES
ON THE OTHER
TWO SIDES.
[ STEPS APPROACHING ]
HEY.
I'M TALKING TO YOU.
UM, DO YOU REMEMBER
THE FIRST TIME
THAT YOU WERE EVER REALLY,
REALLY EMBARRASSED
BY ONE OF YOUR PARENTS?
ABSOLUTELY.
IT WAS BEFORE MY DAD
GOT TRANSFERRED
TO TEXAS.
WE WERE LIVING
IN FORT LAUDERDALE.
13 YEARS OLD.
OH, MY GOD.
JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL.
WHAT?
I--
WHEN I WAS 13, I...
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
I JUST HAD A TOTAL FLASHBACK.
I HAVE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THAT,
PLEASE.
NO, NO, NO.
I WANT TO HEAR
ABOUT YOUR STORY.
♪ TELL ME YOUR STORY
TELL IT ALL ♪
OKAY, FINE.
OKAY, GOOD.
SO MY MOM'S DROPPING ME OFF
AT THIS PARTY.
RIGHT.
FIRST TIME I GET INVITED
TO A COOL KIDS' PARTY,
AND SHE INSISTS
ON WALKING ME IN,
WHICH IS ALREADY
TOTALLY HUMILIATING.
THEN SHE'S KISSING ME GOODBYE,
ON THE LIPS,
AND AS SHE'S
WALKING AWAY,
SHE TURNS BACK
AND SHE CALLS OUT,
SHE SAYS, "HONEY, REMEMBER,
THE MORE YOU HANG ONTO IT,
"THE MORE THEY WANT IT,
"SO DON'T LET ANY OF THE BOYS
GET FUNNY WITH YOU."
THAT WAS HORRIBLE.
THAT'S AWFUL.
AS IT TURNS OUT,
I WASN'T EVEN INTERESTED
IN BOYS.
DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU WERE GAY?
♪ UNTIL TONIGHT
WHEN YOU SHOWED YOURSELF ♪
NO, I JUST KNEW
I WASN'T INTO BOYS.
♪ TELL ME YOUR STORY ♪
I DIDN'T REALIZE
I WAS ATTRACTED TO GIRLS
UNTIL THE FIRST
CIRCUS TOUR I DID.
I FELL MADLY IN LOVE THAT YEAR.
OH, GOD.
WITH THE BEARDED LADY?
♪ ALL THE GOOD TIMES ♪
NO.
YES.
NO, IT WASN'T.
I CAN'T STAND IT.
I'M SORRY
IT'S SO PAINFUL.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?
I JUST LAID DOWN.
I'M LYING
ON TOP OF YOU.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M DOING
RIGHT NOW?
I THINK SO.
GOD, THIS IS
FUCKING INSANE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
TO ME?
FUCKING YOU.
COME OVER HERE.
I AM THERE.
YOU KNOW I AM.
SO...I REMEMBER
THAT WE WERE
ALL SQUISHED
INTO THE BACKSEAT
OF THE CAR.
YEAH.
IT WAS--IT WAS ME,
TODD, AMY,
AND OF COURSE
ANDREW,
AND WE WERE ALL
MAKING OUT,
WHICH WAS GOOD,
AND THEN I FELT
THAT ANDREW
HAD AN ERECTION,
AND IT WAS JUST...
AND I REACHED OVER.
♪ THERE'S SOMEONE
THAT'S SO TRUE ♪
AND I UNDID HIS FLY.
♪ SO I CAN NOW LET YOU KNOW ♪
AND I REMEMBER
IT WAS
REALLY SMALL...
♪ IT'S OKAY TO LET GO ♪
AND I REMEMBER
IT WAS JUST LIKE...
HE WAS REALLY
TERRIFIED.
♪ NEVER FELT
I MATTERED ♪
SO YOU DID IT?
I DID,
WITH MY PANTIES ON.
I JUST SLIPPED THEM TO THE SIDE,
AND I DID IT.
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
I JUST FELT, LIKE...
♪ BUT I FOUND YOU ♪
"I HAVE TO DO THIS."
HMM.
YOU WERE 13.
YEAH.
[ MAN ]: HEY, JENNY,
YOU IN THERE?
YOU SAID
YOU'D BE HOME.
UM...
WHAT'S GOING ON?
[ JENNY ]: SHIT. TIM...
JEN? JENNY,
COME ON OUT.
YEAH, JENNY.
COME ON OUT AND PLAY.
WHO THE HELL
IS THAT?
I, UH...
SHUT UP AND EAT.
CHEERS.
WHO IS THAT?
UM...HMM.
THAT--THAT'S TIM.
THAT--THAT'S MY EX.
AH.
HE'S RENTING ME
THE PLACE,
AND HE SAID THAT
HE WOULD BE OUT
REALLY LATE
TONIGHT.
OH.
WELL...
MAYBE
WE SHOULD TRY THIS
ANOTHER TIME, HUH?
HOW ABOUT FRIDAY?
I CAN'T.
OH.
I...I'M WORKING
AT LAURELWOOD FARMS,
THE LATE SHIFT
BECAUSE I NEED THE MONEY.
I'VE BEEN THERE.
UM, ARE YOU FREE
ON SATURDAY NIGHT?
I HAVE A DATE.
OH.
I'M DATING.
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
THIS WAS A DATE, RIGHT?
TOTALLY.
WELL, UM, WHY DON'T I JUST...
I'LL...
UM, I'LL CALL YOU,
AND WE'LL WORK IT OUT.
YES.
♪ WHERE I WENT
OR WHERE I'D BEEN ♪
♪ HEY, GIRLS
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK ♪
BYE. LATER.
OKAY, I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW.
OKAY.
YEAH!
[ CHEERING ]
LOOK AT THAT, TIM.
YES!
WHOO!
YES!
YES.
WHOO!
I GUESS
YOU WEREN'T MAN ENOUGH FOR HER.
WOULD YOU GROW UP?
OH, COME ON NOW. YES!
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
HELLO?
OH.
♪ SOME TEARS OF JOY ♪
HELLO, GENE.
HOW ARE YOU?
YES.
WELL...
I WOULD LOVE
TO SPEND AN EVENING WITH YOU
AND SEVERAL
OF YOUR MANATEE FRIENDS.
WELL, I WILL SEE YOU
ON SATURDAY NIGHT.
OKAY.
BYE.
[ PHONE BEEPS ]
♪ SOME TEARS OF JOY ♪
UH, THANKS, JUDGE.
I OWE YOU.
IT WON'T BE LONG NOW.
I PUT IN SOME CALLS DOWNTOWN.
YOU KNOW, THIS SUCKS.
YOU NEED TO TAKE BETTER CARE
OF YOUR PEOPLE.
OH, MY GOD,
I GOT THE MESSAGE
A HALF HOUR AGO.
OSCAR AND I
WERE DOING THE SOUP KITCHEN.
I'M SO SORRY.
HAVE A SEAT.
THE PETTY BUREAUCRATS
ARE PULLING A POWER TRIP ON US
HERE.
HAVE THEY
SET BAIL?
YES, IT'S $2,000.
WE'VE GOT IT
COVERED,
AND FOR THE ARTIST...PERNAO,
WHATEVER HER NAME IS.
WHAT ABOUT THE OTHERS?
WHAT OTHERS?
I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE
FOR ANY OTHERS.
I'LL SEE
WHAT I CAN DO
TO GET THEM THROUGH
QUICKER,
AND THEN WE'LL GET
SOME BAIL BONDS.
FUCK.
I NEED A CIGARETTE.
YOU SMOKE?
NOT SINCE I WAS 12.
[ STEPS APPROACHING ]
PORTER, JEWELL, YOU MADE BAIL.
YOU GUYS...
DID THEY DO
ANYTHING STUPID
TO YOU IN THERE, HUH?
OH, MAN.
JAIL IS WHACK.
OH, I'M SO GLAD
YOU GUYS ARE HERE.
WHERE'S BETTE?
I DON'T KNOW.
SHE GOT THROWN IN A CELL WITH--
HEY.
OH, THIS IS
CANDACE JEWELL,
MY CELL MATE.
BETTE HAS BEEN TELLING ME
WHAT AN INCREDIBLE JOB
YOU'VE BEEN DOING AT THE CAC.
IT'S NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
THANKS.
YEAH, YOU, TOO.
UNDER SOME CRAZY
CIRCUMSTANCES.
YEAH.
HOW DID YOU GET TANGLED UP
IN THIS MESS?
OH, WELL,
MY CREW AND I
WERE DOING SOME WORK
DOWN AT THE GALLERY,
AND THE BIBLE THUMPERS
STARTED DOING
THEIR THING OUTSIDE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER...
IT WAS REALLY SWEET.
THEY TREAT YOU OKAY?
YEAH.
HEY.
HEY, BABY SIS.
OH, I WANT YOU
TO MEET IVAN.
HE GAVE ME
A RIDE OVER HERE.
HI.
UH, "HE"?
HI. NICE
TO MEET YOU.
OH, GEE, IVAN, I'M SO SORRY.
I'M SO--
HEY, NO WORRIES.
I'M HAPPY EITHER WAY.
CAN WE GIVE ANYONE
A LIFT?
YEAH,
WEST HOLLYWOOD.
SAME HERE.
I'M STAYING
IN A HOTEL.
I DON'T KNOW
WHERE IT IS, THOUGH. IT'S...
IT'S THE SUNSET MARQUIS.
IT'S RIGHT AROUND
WHERE THEY LIVE.
YOU KNOW,
I'M GOING TO STAY.
I THINK CHERIE'S
GOING TO GET ME, SO...
WHAT ABOUT YOU,
CANDACE?
DO YOU NEED A RIDE?
UH, I LIVE
ALL THE WAY
IN SILVER LAKE,
SO I'LL JUST GET
A CAB.
DON'T BE SILLY.
WE'LL GIVE YOU RIDE HOME.
I LIVE
IN LOS FELIZ.
I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE
IF YOU'D LIKE.
OH, THANK YOU,
THAT WOULD--THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
THANKS FOR GIVING HER A RIDE.
LET'S GO.
[ SIRENS WAIL ]
HEY, BE GOOD.
[ DIALING ]
[ LINE TRILLING ]
HEY, CHERIE, IT'S ME.
WHERE ARE YOU?
UM...I'M FREE FINALLY,
SO IF YOU STILL WANT
TO GET TOGETHER,
WILL YOU CALL ME BACK?
I...
I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO WAIT
HERE UNTIL I HEAR FROM YOU,
SO...
SO PLEASE CALL BACK.
BYE.
[ PHONE BEEPS ]
[ SIGHING ]
UH...SORRY
ABOUT THAT.
YEAH, THAT WAS
TOO SOON.
CAN I ASK YOU
A QUESTION?
YEAH.
WAS IT MY FAULT?
WAS WHAT YOUR FAULT?
YOU LIKING WOMEN.
WAS IT BECAUSE
I WAS...
INADEQUATE IN SOME WAY?
NO.
UM, BECAUSE...
IT'S BEEN ON MY MIND...
AND I REALLY NEED YOU
TO BE...
HONEST WITH ME.
YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD MAN.
[ MELANCHOLY MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
♪ I TRY TO REMEMBER ♪
♪ TRY TO KEEP THE STORIES
STRAIGHT ♪
♪ BUT THINGS DON'T ALWAYS ♪
♪ WORK OUT RIGHT ♪
♪ I CAN'T REMEMBER ♪
♪ WHAT I HID FROM THE LIGHT ♪
♪ I TRY TO REMEMBER ♪
♪ TOO MANY GAMES ♪
♪ LOSING TRACK ♪
♪ OF TOO MANY THINGS ♪
[ CAT MEOWS ]
[ CAT PURRS ]