[ DISCO MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
[ WHOOPING AND CHEERING ]
CHECK IT OUT.
HO, HO, HO, YEAH!
YEAH!
COME ON.
PLEASE?
[ ALL BEGGING ]
THE MORE THE MERRIER.
YEAH,
ALL THE WAY!
[ ELECTRONIC MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
I WAS THINKING
ABOUT ASKING
YOLANDA'S EX-GIRLFRIEND
TO BID
ON THE PROVOCATIONS JOB.
IS SHE A CONTRACTOR?
A CARPENTER.
SHE'S GOT
AN ALL-WOMAN CREW.
THAT'S COOL.
YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY
HIRE HER.
HEY.
OH, HEY, GUYS.
HELLO.
GOOD MORNING.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
ARE HIS PILLS.
HE GETS THEM
THREE TIMES A DAY.
IT'S RIGHT HERE, SEE?
THREE TIMES A DAY
WITH WET FOOD,
AND IT'S BEST
JUST TO SORT OF LET HIM
WAKE UP ON HIS OWN
BECAUSE
HE'S LESS CRABBY
ABOUT TAKING THEM
THAT WAY,
BUT HE SHOULD...
HE SHOULD BE OKAY,
RIGHT, P.?
RIGHT, MR. P. MAN?
WOW, YOU ARE UP
SO EARLY, BETTE.
YEAH, WELL, I GUESS
IT'S JUST THE EXCITEMENT
OF THE TRIP.
THAT SHE'S TOO BUSY
TO GO ON.
YEAH, BUT SOMEONE'S
READY TO PARTY
FOR THE BOTH OF US.
THAT'S RIGHT.
RIGHT ON, HUH?
YEAH, LET'S GO.
YES.
UM, WAS JENNY'S
A REGULAR LATTE?
IS JENNY GOING WITH YOU?
I INVITED HER.
I FELT BAD FOR HER.
SHE'S ALL ALONE.
WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
I GUESS.
SAY, "BYE, EVERYBODY.
"I'M GOING TO STAY
WITH AUNTIE KIT
"WHILE MOM GOES AWAY
WITH ALL OF HER
FRIENDS," RIGHT?
SAY, "BYE, SHANE.
BYE, LENORE.
"BYE, BETTE AND TINA.
HAVE FUN
IN PALM SPRINGS."
YES, MR. P.
AUNTIE KIT
WILL WATCH YOUR BACK.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, KIT.
[ ALICE ]: WHOO-HOO.
CONGRATULATE ME.
I GOT MY PERIOD.
SO WHY
ARE WE CONGRATULATING YOU?
HUH?
BECAUSE I LOVE
GETTING MY PERIOD.
SHE DOES. EVER SINCE
SHE WAS A KID.
RIGHT.
YEAH, NO, BECAUSE IT
REAFFIRMS MY WOMANHOOD.
I LIKE TO CELEBRATE IT
TO, YOU KNOW,
SHOW WOMEN EVERYWHERE
IT'S A BLESSING,
IT'S NOT A CURSE.
OKAY, YOU GUYS,
ROAD TRIP?
LET'S GO.
[ SHANE ]: SEE YOU, KIT.
BYE, BETTE.
I'LL CALL YOU.
HAVE A SLIPPERY NIPPLE FOR ME.
I WILL.
[ DANA ]:
GOOD-BYE, P. MAN.
BYE.
BY THE WAY,
YOU WERE AMAZING
ON INSIGHT WITH GEORGE PARSON.
I MEAN, ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.
I REALLY APPLAUD YOUR CAUSE
AND YOUR COMMITMENT AND...
OH, GOD, THAT BITCH,
FAE BUCKLEY,
YOU SHOULD HAVE DECKED HER.
THANK YOU.
IT WAS GREAT.
SO IS THIS
A GOLF TOURNAMENT?
YEAH.
IT'S THE KRAFT-NABISCO
PROFESSIONAL
WOMEN'S GOLF TOURNAMENT.
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS
THE DINAH SHORE WEEKEND.
IS SHE GAY?
NO, DINAH SHORE'S
DEAD.
SHE DIED BACK IN '94,
AND, ACTUALLY, THE WORD IS
THAT SHE HATED HER SNOOTY
LITTLE GOLF TOURNAMENT
TURNED INTO
A SPRING BREAK FOR LESBIANS,
REFUSED TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT.
YOU GUYS,
THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE,
LIKE, 10,000 WOMEN THERE.
WOW.
OH, GOD.
SHE'S DONE RESEARCH.
YEAH, I'M DOING A STORY ON IT
FOR THE WEEKLY.
GOT TO MAKE SOMETHING OUT
OF THIS LAME-ASS WEEKEND, RIGHT?
AND DANA'S GETTING
AN H.R.C. AWARD.
YEAH,
AND WE'RE TOTALLY PROUD OF HER.
WHAT'S THAT?
IT'S THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN.
IT'S THE BIGGEST GAY
CIVIL RIGHTS ORGANIZATION
IN THE COUNTRY.
IT'S A HUGE DEAL.
CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU.
♪ I LOOKED TO THE CHILDREN ♪
♪ I DRANK FROM THE FOUNTAINS ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ THERE'S MORE THAN ONE ANSWER
TO THESE QUESTIONS ♪
♪ POINTING ME
IN A CROOKED LINE ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ AND THE LESS I SEEK MY SOURCE
FOR SOME DEFINITIVE ♪
♪ THE CLOSER I AM TO FINE
YEAH ♪
♪ CLOSER I AM TO FINE, YEAH ♪
[ ALL WHISTLING ]
THANK GOD.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES
I HAD TO HEAR THAT SONG
WHEN ALICE WAS FIRST
COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET?
IT WAS A NIGHTMARE.
IT WAS ALL
ABOUT ANNIE FLAHERTY.
OH, TELL THEM
YOUR COMING-OUT STORY, HONEY.
IT'S SO HILARIOUS.
FIRST OF ALL,
IT'S NOT MY COMING-OUT STORY.
IT WAS JUST
A DRUNK HIGH SCHOOL GROPE.
TELL US
YOUR COMING-OUT STORY.
WELL, THEY GOT HAMMERED,
THE TWO OF THEM,
AND THEN THEY SCAMPERED
UNDER THE BLEACHERS
FOR A SMOKE,
WHICH, OF COURSE,
SHE WAS NOT ALLOWED TO DO,
AND THEN, JUST AS THEY
WERE ABOUT TO KISS...
[ LAUGHING ]
ANNIE VOMITED ALL OVER ALICE.
OH!
OH.
NOW, MY REAL COMING-OUT STORY
HAPPENED IN COLLEGE.
MY BOYFRIEND GREG AND I
HAD THIS BAND CALLED BUTTER,
AND WE PLAYED EVERY WEEKEND
AT THE TAP ROOM,
WHICH WAS LIKE
OUR LITTLE BAR ON CAMPUS.
BUTTER RULES!
[ SHOUTS ]
IT WAS THREE GUYS AND ME,
AND I DON'T KNOW,
I WASN'T THAT INTO IT,
BUT GREG THOUGHT WE WERE GOING
TO GO ALL THE WAY.
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
HEY!
WHERE'S BRAD?
WHERE THE FUCK
IS BRAD?
BUT ANYWAY, OUR BASS PLAYER
QUITS ONE DAY, RIGHT,
SO WE HAD THREE DAYS
TO FIND A NEW ONE,
SO WE HOLD THESE AUDITIONS,
AND ALL THESE GUYS COME,
AND THEY COULDN'T PLAY BASS
TO SAVE THEIR LIVES.
GET YOUR FEET
OFF THE TABLE.
SHOW SOME RESPECT.
[ PLAYING BASS LINE ]
DAVE, GIVE ME MY LAST
FUCKING CIGARETTE!
FUCKING COCK.
[ RASPBERRIES ]
AND THEN...
TAYO WALKS ONSTAGE.
[ PLAYING BASS LINE ]
DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME.
GOD. GET AWAY FROM ME.
[ PLAYING BASS LINE ]
WE WERE FAMOUS
IN OUR LITTLE COLLEGE UNIVERSE.
I MEAN, PEOPLE WERE COMING
JUST TO SEE US.
[ CROWD SHOUTING ]
AND ME AND TAYO,
WE HAD AMAZING CHEMISTRY
ONSTAGE.
[ CROWD CHEERING ]
[ CHEERING CONTINUES ]
[ ROCK MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
TAYO AND I ONLY LASTED
ABOUT TWO MONTHS.
AFTER ME,
SHE WENT THROUGH
EVERY GAY, LESBIAN,
BISEXUAL,
AND TRANSGENDERED
ORGANIZATION ON CAMPUS.
SHE TOTALLY BROKE MY HEART.
THAT'S WHY
YOU'RE A DIRTY BISEXUAL, HUH?
LET'S HEAR YOUR STORY.
OH, THAT'S NICE.
YOU KNOW I CAN'T DO THAT.
WHY?
IT'S PROBABLY
FRESH WOUNDS.
IT WAS 12 YEARS AGO, MOM.
GOD, SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL.
IT WAS AT TENNIS CAMP.
I WAS 16.
SHE WAS 17.
EVERYBODY, OUT ON THE COURTS.
COME ON. LET'S GO.
SHE WAS MY COUNSELOR.
I'D TELL YOU HER NAME,
BUT SHE'S FAMOUS NOW,
SO I CAN'T.
I'LL JUST CALL HER RALPH.
AREN'T YOU READY YET?
GOD, SHE HAD
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EYES
YOU'VE EVER SEEN.
I LOVE YOU, [ BEEP ].
I LOVE YOU MORE.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
SHE NEEDED TO TELL SOMEBODY
ABOUT IT, RIGHT?
SO SHE WROTE
HER BEST FRIEND AT HOME
AND TOLD HER ABOUT US
AND HOW IN LOVE WE WERE...
AND HER FRIEND
TOLD HER PARENTS...
AND HER PARENTS YANKED HER
OUT OF TENNIS CAMP, LIKE THAT.
[ FATHER ]: HONEY,
WE'LL TALK IN A MINUTE.
[ MOTHER ]: I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW.
JUST GO, PLEASE.
AFTER THAT,
I RAN INTO HER AT A FEW MATCHES,
AND SHE WOULDN'T EVEN
LOOK AT ME.
SO ANYWAY, THAT'S IT.
TENNIS PLAYERS
ARE LIKE GIRLS IN COLLEGE--
GAY UNTIL GRADUATION.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ KNOCKING ]
HEY, I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.
JAMES...
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY SORRY
EVERY TIME
YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL ME.
OKAY, WELL, I'M SORRY.
A CANDACE JEWELL
IS HERE FOR YOU.
CAN YOU TELL HER
I'LL MEET HER
IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM?
OKAY.
SO I THINK
WE'LL DEDICATE
THIS GALLERY
TO TWO ARTISTS.
ISABELLA PERNAO,
WHO DOES THESE AMAZING
LARGE-SCREEN VIDEO
INSTALLATIONS,
WHO I THINK SHOULD
BE ON THIS WALL,
AND RAY FIELD'S WORK
SHOULD BE
ON THE OTHER WALL.
HE DOES HAND-DRAWN,
LETTERED BOOKS,
SO WE'RE GOING TO NEED
TO CONSTRUCT SOME
DISPLAY CASES FOR THOSE.
IT'S JUST LIKE
THEATER-SET CONSTRUCTION.
IS THAT A GOOD THING?
WELL, I DID IT IN COLLEGE,
AND I LOVED IT.
OH.
LOOK, WHAT IF,
INSTEAD OF WALL MOUNTING,
WE WERE TO CONSTRUCT
SOME FREE-STANDING
SCAFFOLDING HERE?
YOU KNOW, IT WOULD WORK
SOMETHING LIKE SHOJI SCREENS.
I THINK IT WOULD REALLY
MAKE THE SPACE MORE DYNAMIC
FOR DISPLAYING
THE WORK.
HMM.
WELL, HOW LONG
WOULD IT TAKE YOU
TO GET ME A BID?
I DON'T KNOW. TODAY?
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
OKAY.
OKAY, THEN.
MY COMING-OUT STORY
ALSO INVOLVES SOMEONE FAMOUS.
[ MOUTHS ]
IS SHE GAY?
[ MOUTHS ]
NO.
IT WAS THE '70s,
AND EVERY WEEKEND
I WENT
TO ONE OF THESE PARTIES
AT "THE MANSION"...
WHICH, OF COURSE,
WAS FULL OF SWINGERS
AND ORGIES AND DRUGS,
AS I AM SURE YOU GIRLS KNOW.
SO ONE NIGHT,
THERE WAS AN EX
OF MINE
THAT I HADN'T SEEN
IN YEARS,
AND HE WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE
IN THE LIVING ROOM,
AND ALL I COULD THINK OF
TO SAY TO HIM WAS...
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
TO WAIT IN THE CAR."
MOM, THAT IS STRAIGHT
OUT OF TALLULAH BANKHEAD'S
BIOGRAPHY.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN
THAT I DIDN'T SAY IT.
ANYWAY, WHERE WAS I?
MM-HMM!
THE POOL.
WELL, I DON'T WANT
TO BE INDISCREET HERE,
BUT THERE WAS AN INCIDENT
IN A POOL
WITH TWO GIRLS, AND, UM...
I MEAN, THESE GIRLS
WERE REAL KNOCKOUTS.
I MEAN, MOST OF THE GIRLS
THAT WENT TO THOSE PARTIES
WERE KNOCKOUTS,
BUT THEY WERE GIVING EACH OTHER
A TONSIL INSPECTION
THAT WOULD HAVE MADE A DOCTOR
BLUSH.
SO I DECIDED,
"WHAT THE HEY?"
AND JOINED IN...
[ CHUCKLING ]
AND WHAT CAN I SAY?
ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER,
AND...
IT WAS HOT.
OKAY. SHANE.
DO YOU WANT TO SHARE
YOUR STORY?
YEAH, UM...
THAT'S EASY.
TIFFANY GARDNER.
SHE WAS THIS GORGEOUS BLONDE
WHO LIVED DOWN THE STREET...
AND I USED TO SIT FOR HOURS
AND WATCH HER PLAY IN THE PARK.
AND THEN, ONE DAY,
I THOUGHT,
"YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK THIS.
"ENOUGH'S ENOUGH.
I'M GOING TO MEET THIS CHICK."
SO I PACK UP MY SUNSHINE MEAL,
AND I WALK OVER TO HER...
AND SHE'S JUST SITTING THERE
IN THE SAND
PLAYING HARD TO GET...
AND I KNEW I WAS HOOKED.
THAT GIRL
TOOK MY SUNSHINE MEAL TOY,
AND THEN SHE TOOK MY HEART.
OKAY. PERFECT TIMING.
HERE WE ARE.
JENNY, WILL YOU OPEN THE DOOR
FOR MY MOM?
THAT REMINDS ME
OF THIS BEAUTIFUL
BUT TRAGIC LESBIAN
WHO ONCE PASSED OUT
ON MY KITCHEN FLOOR...
AND I'LL NEVER FORGET.
JOHN CASSAVETES
AND GENA ROWLANDS
HAD COME FOR LUNCH THAT DAY,
AND, OF COURSE, THEY'D HAD
A COUPLE OF DRINKS, AS HAD I,
AND JUST AS THEY WALK
IN THE KITCHEN,
SHE WAKES UP--
MOM, I THINK
YOUR PHONE'S RINGING.
OH, LET ME
JUST FINISH MY STORY.
SO SHE WAKES UP,
JUST AT THAT MOMENT--
MAYBE
IT'S YOUR NEW AGENT.
OH, MY GOD.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
BYE, LENORE.
YOU KNOW WHAT, DANA?
HELP ME.
WHAT?
JUST HELP ME. JUST HELP--
GRAB A BAG.
I CAN GET THAT ONE.
JUST GRAB A BAG.
I CAN GET IT.
COME ON.
[ DISCO MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
MOM, I LEFT THE BAG
ON THE PORCH!
GET IN THE CAR!
BYE, LENORE.
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.
OH, MY GOD.
AM I GOING TO HELL FOR THAT?
ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU, GUYS.
YOUR ASSES WERE IN THIS VAN
SO FAST. COME ON.
POOR LENORE.
[ CELL PHONE RINGING ]
AW, FUCK.
HELLO?
NO, MA--
HI. NO.
NO, NO. OF COURSE NOT.
NO, IT'S JUST, WE DIDN'T KNOW
HOW LONG YOU WERE GOING TO BE,
AND DANA'S GOT TO REGISTER
FOR THE EVENT...
SO, YEAH.
OKAY, YEAH. OF COURSE.
OF COURSE.
I WILL.
OKAY. I'LL TALK TO YOU SOON.
OKAY. BYE.
[ PHONE BEEPS ]
SHE WAS MAKING US CRAZY,
RIGHT?
I MEAN...
RIGHT?
YEAH, YEAH.
[ ELECTRONIC MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
DANA? DANA FAIRBANKS.
SO, SO GLAD TO MEET YOU.
I'M TONYA, GUEST LIAISON.
I'M HERE TO TAKE CARE
OF ALL YOUR NEEDS.
OH.
LET ME GET THIS FOR YOU.
EXCUSE ME.
THIS IS DANA FAIRBANKS,
OKAY?
WE NEED SOMEONE
TO TAKE HER STUFF
TO HER ROOM, SUITE 251.
SO ARE YOU ALONE?
UH, NO,
I'M WITH FRIENDS.
DID YOU WANT TO BRING THEM
TO THE DINNER?
I'M SURE
I CAN GET THEM TICKETS.
I NEED YOU AT A PHOTO SHOOT
IN ABOUT AN HOUR, BUT--
I JUST NEED TO MAKE
A FEW CALLS.
UH, WE'LL BE FINE.
YEAH, WE DON'T WANT
TO CRAMP DANA'S STYLE.
OH, OKAY.
SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU HERE.
I'M GOING TO HAVE
TO PROTECT YOU
FROM SOME OF THE STAFF.
SERIOUSLY, THOUGH.
I AM HERE TO ACT
AS A BUFFER
BETWEEN YOU
AND YOUR FANS, OKAY?
THAT IS PART MY JOB.
OKAY.
NOW, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU
THE KEY TO YOUR ROOM...
THANKS.
AND HERE'S MY CARD.
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU
MY CELL PHONE NUMBER,
AND I WANT YOU TO USE IT
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING AT ALL.
OKAY.
I'M TALKING
ABOUT A SECOND OPINION
ON WHAT PAIR
OF SHOES TO WEAR.
YOU JUST CALL ME,
OKAY?
OKAY.
AND I'LL SEE YOU
IN AN HOUR.
OKAY.
THANKS.
BYE, LADIES.
BYE.
BYE-BYE.
WOW.
DOES THAT THING COME
WITH BATTERIES, DANA?
HUH?
OH.
OH, MY GOD.
I'VE NEVER SEEN
SO MANY WOMEN IN ONE PLACE
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
AND EVERY ONE
OF THEM'S GREASED UP
AND READY TO GO.
WE SHOULD
GO DOWN THERE, YOU GUYS.
♪ WHEN WE SHOW
JUST WHO WE ARE ♪
♪ THIS IS THE TIME ♪
♪ WHEN WE SEE
WE'VE COME SO FAR ♪
♪ AND ALL THAT WE HAVE
IS LIFE ♪
♪ AND ALL THAT WE HAVE
IS LOVE ♪
♪ TO SWIM IN THE OCEAN ♪
♪ TO SWIM IN THE SEA ♪
♪ TO SAIL IN THE ISLANDS ♪
♪ AND CLIMB THE HIGHEST TREE ♪
♪ WE ARE FREE ♪
GUYS? GUYS?
IS THIS SUIT
TOO CONSERVATIVE?
I BROUGHT A DRESS.
TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.
THE SUIT'S GREAT.
THANKS.
[ KNOCKING ]
HI. IS DANA HERE?
UH-HUH. YEAH.
EXCELLENT.
WOW. YOU LOOK PHENOMENAL.
BUT I BET YOU WOULD
IN ANYTHING THAT YOU WORE.
[ LAUGHS ]
HERE'S SOME PASSES
TO SOME OF THE EVENTS
AND A CHANCE TO WIN
AN OLIVIA CRUISE.
THANKS,
TONYA.
SO ARE YOU READY
TO GO?
UH-HUH.
EXCELLENT.
WELL, I'VE GOT MY WORK
CUT OUT FOR ME WITH YOU.
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE
ALL OVER YOU TONIGHT.
BYE, GIRLS.
OH, YEAH.
HAVE FUN.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU AGAIN.
BYE.
THANK YOU.
LET ME SEE THOSE.
OH.
I HAVE YOUR ESTIMATE FOR YOU.
OKAY, UM, THIS IS $50 MORE
THAN THE HIGHEST BIDDER.
MAY I?
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THIS?
THERE ARE THREE SIDES
TO THE TRIANGLE, SEE?
FAST. GOOD. CHEAP.
YEAH.
YOU CAN HAVE ANY TWO
OF THE THREE IN COMBINATION,
BUT YOU CAN NEVER HAVE
ALL THREE TOGETHER.
OF COURSE YOU CAN.
I MEAN, IF YOU HAVE
ENOUGH MONEY--
OH, RIGHT,
THEN IT WOULDN'T BE CHEAP. OKAY.
YOU CAN HAVE
FAST AND GOOD,
BUT THAT TAKES A BIG CREW
OF SKILLED, HIGHLY PAID WORKERS.
AND I CAN HAVE
FAST AND CHEAP,
BUT THEN THE END PRODUCT
WOULD PROBABLY LOOK LIKE SHIT.
YOU CAN HAVE CHEAP AND GOOD--
THAT'S THE ONE I WANT.
BUT YOU'LL PROBABLY
BE BUMPING UP
AGAINST THAT CARPENTER
FOR THE BETTER PART OF A YEAR.
UM, UH, OKAY.
ARE YOU HERE
FOR A LITTLE WHILE LONGER?
BECAUSE I LOVE THAT CUBAN PLACE
UP THE STREET FROM HERE.
I COULD PICK US UP
SOME TAKE-OUT, IF YOU WANT.
I'LL DRAW YOU
SOME ROUGH SKETCHES
OF WHAT I'M THINKING
WHILE WE EAT.
OKAY.
GOOD.
I'LL PUT THE ORDER IN.
YOU LOOK AT THAT
WHILE I'M GONE.
WOW, ALICE.
WHO KNEW?
I'M THINKING
NOT DINAH SHORE.
CAN I HAVE ONE?
OH, WAIT. AL...
WHAT?
WHAT ABOUT YOU, JENNY?
UM, MAYBE IF I HAD
A FEW MORE OF THESE SHOTS.
OH, WAIT.
HOLD ON. HOLD ON.
PRESENT FOR BETTE?
OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S GOOD.
WHAT, SHOULD I CALL HER
AND ASK HER IF I SHOULD WEAR
ONE OF THESE T-SHIRTS
WHILE I'M HERE?
ABSOLUTELY.
MAKE IT A SURPRISE.
WE JUST FOUGHT ALL THE TIME.
I MEAN,
YOU KNOW HOW YOLANDA IS.
MM-HMM.
SHE ISN'T HAPPY UNLESS
SHE'S RANTING ABOUT SOMETHING.
YOU KNOW, SHE CAN'T ABIDE YOU
IF YOU DISAGREE WITH HER,
SHE WON'T RESPECT YOU
IF YOU DON'T CHALLENGE HER.
THAT IS SO TRUE.
SHE SHOULD HAVE STAYED
IN THERAPY.
YEAH.
[ CELL PHONE VIBRATING ]
EXCUSE ME.
CAN YOU EXCUSE ME
FOR A SECOND?
HEY.
[ TINA ]: HI.
OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS INSANE.
I WISH YOU COULD SEE IT.
IT'S TOTALLY CRAZY.
SAY HI TO THE GIRLS.
HEY, BETTE.
HI, BETTE.
SEE?
EVERYBODY
MISSES YOU.
I'M GLAD
YOU'RE HAVING FUN, BABY.
YOU DESERVE IT.
I'M JUST HERE HAVING SOME FOOD
WITH CANDACE.
SHE'S STILL TAKING
SOME MEASUREMENTS.
WHAT, BABE?
IT'S SO LOUD HERE.
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
ARE YOU STILL AT WORK?
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD TRY
TO GET SOME REST
BEFORE THE ARTISTS GET THERE,
YOU ALWAYS DO THAT.
YEAH, I'LL TRY.
TINA, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
WHAT, BABE?
HELLO?
OH, BABY, IT'S BREAKING UP.
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
LOOK, I'M GOING
TO CALL YOU BACK LATER.
BYE.
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
I HEARD
SOME OF THE ARTWORK
WAS BEING HELD UP
AT CUSTOMS.
NO, NOTHING
LIKE THAT.
IT WAS MY GIRLFRIEND.
OH.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD ONE.
WHY WOULD YOU?
[ GIRLS LAUGHING ]
WELL, AT LEAST
I CAN HAVE A DRINK NOW.
CHEERS.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
LOOK, RIGHT THERE.
SEE?
THAT'S WHAT I CALL
A HUNDRED-FOOTER.
WHAT'S THAT?
IT MEANS
YOU CAN TELL SHE'S A LESBIAN
FROM A HUNDRED FEET AWAY.
IS IT HER HAIR?
IS IT HER JOGBRA?
IS IT HER MANDLES?
I DON'T KNOW.
I CAN TELL SHE'S A LESBO
FROM ACROSS A FOOTBALL FIELD.
YOU GUYS?
WHAT AM I?
NO. YOU'RE IN TRANSITION.
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
NO, COME ON.
NO, YOU NEED, LIKE,
A GUY OR A GIRL WITH YOU
TO TIP YOU ONE WAY
OR THE OTHER.
IT'S NOT, IT'S...
RIGHT?
YEP. MM-HMM.
FUCK.
WELL, I GUESS I'D BETTER
GET BACK TO WORK,
SO I CAN GET BACK TO BED
SOMETIME TONIGHT.
YEAH.
I HAVE A PHONE MEETING
AT 7:00 A.M.
WITH NEW YORK.
OH. I MISS IT.
I'M FROM BROOKLYN.
I GREW UP THERE.
OLD-SCHOOL BROOKLYN.
YOU KNOW, BEFORE
IT WAS FASHIONABLE.
NORTH PHILLY,
BEFORE IT WAS
A WAR ZONE.
RIGHT.
[ THUMPING ELECTRONIC MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
THIS IS TOTALLY
A WHITE PARTY, YOU GUYS.
I'M GOING TO GO
HAVE ANOTHER DRINK.
BYE.
ALL RIGHT.
SEE YOU LATER.
BYE.
[ ♪♪ ]
ONE, TWO, THREE...
OH, FUCK.
[ TECHNO MUSIC ]
GOOD GIRL.
NICE.
GUH!
OKAY, SO THEN
WHAT HAPPENED?
[ JENNY ]:
SO I GO OVER TO HER HOUSE,
LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT,
AND I'M STANDING THERE,
AND I'M WATCHING HER
WITH HER REAL GIRLFRIEND,
WHICH, BY THE WAY,
I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT,
AND THEY'RE WATCHING ME
LIKE I'M THIS LITTLE
SORT OF AMUSEMENT,
SORT OF LIKE
THIS LITTLE PLAYTHING.
MEANWHILE,
BACK AT THE RANCH,
MY BOY--
NO, I'M SORRY, MY HUSBAND--
MY...MY LIFE--
MY LIFE IS COMPLETELY RUINED.
YOU KNOW, SHE MANAGED
TO FUCKING DESTROY
MY RELATIONSHIP
WHILE LEAVING HERS
COMPLETELY INTACT.
WAIT, SO THIS IS THE FIRST WOMAN
YOU WERE EVER WITH?
OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS MY COMING-OUT STORY.
LADIES, I AM TELLING
ALL OF YOU GUYS
MY COMING-OUT STORY.
TELL IT! TELL IT!
TELL IT!
TELL IT! TELL IT!
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
I GO TO A PARTY
AT MY NEIGHBORS',
BETTE AND TINA'S HOUSE.
BETTE AND TINA!
YES. OKAY.
I'M AT THE PARTY,
AND THERE SHE IS.
I SEE MARINA.
SHE WAS POSSIBLY
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
I'D EVER SEEN.
LATER ON THAT NIGHT,
SHE FOLLOWED ME
INTO THE BATHROOM.
AND THEN SHE DOES IT--
THE THING.
"AM I CRAZY? AM I DRUNK?
AM I HALLUCINATING?"
AND I WAS THINKING,
"AM I CRAZY?
"AM I DRUNK?
AM I HALLUCINATING?"
AND THEN SHE DOES IT...
THE THING THAT WOULD GO ON
TO CONFUSE ME
AND FUCK WITH ALL THINGS
STABLE
IN MY LIFE...
AND THEN I'M WALKING
OUT THE DOOR,
AND I'M THINKING,
"OH, MY GOD,
"I HAVE JUST HAD
THE BEST FUCKING SEX
IN MY WHOLE
FUCKING LIFE, MAN!"
NO, NO, NO, YOU GUYS,
GUYS, I'M SERIOUS.
THIS IS PROBABLY
THE BEST SEX
THAT ANYBODY CAN HAVE
ON THE FUCKING PLANET EARTH,
AND THEN SHE DOES IT.
SHE DOES THIS FUCKING THING.
COME HERE.
NO, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU.
OKAY, WAIT.
I'VE GOT TO BE HER.
OKAY.
JENNY...
I HOPE THIS
DOESN'T MAKE IT WORSE...
BUT I THINK
I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.
OH!
THAT'S GROSS!
SO CHEESY!
THAT'S FUCKED.
FUCK HER.
NOTICE, IT'S NOT
"I'M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU,"
IT'S "I THINK
I'M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU."
SHE SAID, "I THINK
I COULD FALL IN LOVE
WITH YOU."
THAT'S EVEN WORSE.
YOU DON'T HEAR
THE "I THINK I COULD" PART,
BECAUSE YOU'RE
NOT SUPPOSED TO.
IT'S A TRICK.
IT'S A FUCKING LOOPHOLE.
SHE WRECKED MY FUCKING LIFE
WITH SUPPOSITION.
HERE.
WHAT?
GO AHEAD.
CALL HER UP.
TELL HER
WHAT A FUCKING FUCKER SHE IS.
YOU NEED TO SAY IT.
GO ON. DO IT.
IT'LL CLEANSE YOU.
YOU THINK
I SHOULD CALL HER UP?
YES.
CALL HER! CALL HER!
CALL HER!
I'M GOING
TO CALL HER UP.
DO IT!
TELL HER!
I'M GOING TO TELL HER
WHAT A FUCKING FUCKER SHE IS
FOR FUCKING WITH MY LIFE...
FOR LEAVING HER LIFE
EXACTLY THE WAY IT IS.
I'M GOING TO SET
THAT FUCKING BITCH--
YES, YOU GO GIRL!
STRAIGHT.
DO IT!
SHE'LL NEVER KNOW
UNLESS YOU TELL HER.
SHH. PLEASE, PLEASE.
OKAY, IT'S RINGING.
OH, MY GOSH. IT'S HER.
I GOT YOU.
HI!
IS THOMAS THERE?
OH, THIS ISN'T
TOM'S HOUSE?
HELLO?
BITCH HUNG UP ON ME.
PERFECT.
I'LL TAKE THAT.
THAT WAS VERY NICE OF YOU.
WELL...
THAT WAS VERY KIND.
IT WAS MY PLEASURE.
YEAH.
OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
OH, MY GOD, YOU WERE
SO AMAZING IN THERE.
YOU SHOULD BE SO PROUD
OF YOURSELF.
OH, THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW,
THAT STORY ABOUT YOUR MOTHER--
HI!
HI.
HOW ARE YOU?
TRULY WAS HYSTERICAL,
OKAY?
HI! HI.
AND YOUR SUBARU
COMING-OUT STORY?
OH, MY GOD.
IT BROKE MY HEART.
IT DID?
WELL, JUST TELL ME,
DID YOU AND LARA--
WERE YOU ABLE
TO WORK IT OUT?
HOW ARE YOU? HI.
NO, I TOTALLY BLEW--
DANA! DANA!
I KNOW I'M BEING
A TOTAL GEEK RIGHT NOW,
BUT WOULD YOU SIGN
MY UNDERWEAR FOR ME?
MISS FAIRBANKS
HAS AN APPOINTMENT, OKAY?
PLEASE?
EXCUSE ME.
I--I--I--
UNBELIEVABLE.
HI.
WE HAVE THIS BET ON
OVER HERE
AND, UH, DO YOU
HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
I REALLY DON'T THINK
THAT'S ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS.
OH, MY GOD.
NO.
NOW, WE NEED
TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE
BECAUSE YOUR FANS
ARE GETTING OUT OF CONTROL.
[ THUMPING ELECTRONIC MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
IT IS FLYING THROUGH THE AIR.
I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW
WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE.
WELL, WHEN YOU'RE WORKING
WITH SOMEONE ELSE,
IT'S ALL ABOUT TRUST.
YOU'RE LIKE, "IS THIS PERSON
MAD AT ME TODAY?"
"DID I GIVE THEM A REASON
TO NOT CATCH ME RIGHT NOW?"
IF I WERE
A TRAPEZE ARTIST,
I DON'T THINK THAT ANYBODY
WOULD CATCH ME.
I THINK
THAT I WOULD PROBABLY NEED,
LIKE, THIS MASSIVE NET
OR SOMETHING.
YOU KNOW THAT'S, LIKE,
THE THIRD TIME
YOU'VE REFERRED YOURSELF
AS WORTHLESS?
I MEAN, IS THIS YOUR BIG
LEAVING LAS VEGAS MOMENT?
YOU COME TO DINAH SHORE
TO GET ALCOHOL POISONING
AND DIE?
NO. I'M NOT--
I'M NOT SUICIDAL.
I'VE JUST FUCKED UP MY LIFE
JUST A LITTLE BIT.
YOU KNOW?
SO CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?
WHAT?
WORKING ON THE TRAPEZE
IS LIKE FUCKING UP.
I MEAN, YOU'RE UP THERE,
50 FEET ABOVE THE GROUND,
YOU KNOW,
AND YOU DELIBERATELY LET GO
OF THE ONLY SECURITY YOU HAVE
TO GO FLYING THROUGH THE AIR.
IN THAT MOMENT,
EVERYTHING'S LOST.
YOU COULD LIVE
OR YOU COULD DIE,
BUT YOU'VE TAKEN
THAT RISK,
AND GRABBING THAT BAR AGAIN
IS LIKE GETTING A SECOND CHANCE.
SO YOU GRAB IT,
AND YOU FUCKING SWING ON IT,
AND YOU DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN,
JENNY, YOU KNOW?
THANKS.
NO, I REALLY...
NO PROBLEM.
I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS.
THERE ARE PROBABLY
TONS OF PEOPLE IN MY ROOM--
DANA, I'VE GOT TO BE
HONEST WITH YOU.
YEAH?
WHOA.
I WANT TO MAKE LOVE
TO YOU.
OH. OKAY.
UM...HUH.
MAGNIFICENT.
[ TV PLAYING ]
[ WOMAN ]: I LOVE YOU
SO MUCH, DARLING,
MORE THAN YOU SEEM ABLE
TO UNDERSTAND.
OH...
I NEVER REALLY
KNEW HAPPINESS
UNTIL I LOVED YOU.
SOMETIMES, WHEN I USED
TO BE AFRAID...
HI.
HEY.
I'VE JUST NEVER SEEN
SO MUCH DEBAUCHERY
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
I HAD SO MUCH TEQUILA...
I HAVE NO IDEA
WHY I'M STILL STANDING
RIGHT NOW,
AND THEN I HAD TO,
LIKE,
STEP OVER ALL THESE--
ALL THESE...
WOMEN-BODIES
IN ORDER TO GET TO THIS ROOM,
WHICH WAS SORT OF CRAZY,
YOU KNOW?
WHAT HAPPENED
WITH THE LADY, ANYTHING?
I HAVE A DATE
ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT IN L.A.
WOW.
HEY.
ALL RIGHT.
GOOD JOB.
[ PHONE VIBRATES ]
OOH, IT'S ON VIBRATE.
I LIKE IT.
OH, HERE, LET ME--
I'LL JUST...
SORRY...GET THIS.
HELLO?
YEAH. OOH, SORRY.
HI, AL, YEAH.
DO YOU LIKE THAT?
NO, IT'S, YEAH...
DOES THAT FEEL GOOD?
AT THE HOTEL. MM-HMM.
PEOPLE.
YEAH. SOON.
I'VE GOT TO GO. OKAY.
GOT TO GO. BYE.
YOU GUYS,
DANA'S HOOKING UP.
OH, MY GOD.
HO...
OH, NO.
IT'S NOT THAT WEIRD
HOSPITALITY CHICK, IS IT?
OKAY, CALL ME
A HIPPIE,
BUT THAT GIRL
HAS BAD FUCKING VIBES.
ALL RIGHT?
I MEAN,
AND DANA'S JUDGMENT SUCKS,
RIGHT? EXCEPT FOR LARA.
AL, LOOK WHO'S TALKING.
OKAY.
WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT
TO MEET THE RIGHT PERSON?
YOU KNOW?
ALL OF YOUR STORIES
ARE ABOUT CONFUSION
AND UNFULFILLED DESIRE
AND DISAPPOINTMENT, RIGHT?
YEAH, BUT THAT
PRETTY MUCH HAPPENS
TO EVERYONE WHO TRIES
TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.
OKAY, TINA, I'M SORRY,
BUT I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU
TO BUST OUT YOUR STORY.
NO...
YEAH, GIVE THESE WOMEN
SOME HOPE.
SIT DOWN. SIT.
THANK YOU.
SPEAK.
OKAY.
WELL, I WAS DATING
THIS ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER--
ERIC.
WHAT?
I WAS THERE.
ALL RIGHT,
IT WAS RIGHT AFTER
ME AND BETTE
STOPPED DATING,
AND WE WERE IN THAT
"BEST FRIEND" STAGE,
AND ERIC WAS PRETTY HOT,
I HAVE TO SAY.
HE'S A BIG
ART COLLECTOR,
AND ONE NIGHT
HE TOOK ME TO THIS ART OPENING
AT THE BETTE PORTER GALLERY.
I HELPED HER FIND THAT SPACE,
YOU KNOW.
I KNOW.
ANYWAY, SHE HAD
THIS AMAZING REPUTATION
FOR PICKING
ALL THE GREAT ARTISTS,
AND SHE WAS SMART
AND TOUGH...
EXCUSE ME, BETTE.
AND UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL.
THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND,
TINA KENNARD.
SHE HEADS UP DEVELOPMENT
AT ALPHAVILLE.
TINA,
BETTE PORTER.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
HEY. NICE TO MEET YOU.
BETTE,
WE WERE WONDERING.
HOW WOULD CATHERINE OPIE FEEL
ABOUT US BLOWING UP
THAT PRINT THERE
TO ABOUT
FIVE-BY-SIX FEET?
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER
YOURSELF?
SHE'S RIGHT OVER THERE.
I THINK
I'LL JUST STAY HERE.
OKAY.
EXCELLENT.
AND SO THEN
ERIC AND I GOT INVITED
TO ONE OF HER ARTIST DINNERS,
AND HER ARTIST DINNERS
WERE REALLY, REALLY FAMOUS.
THERE WERE
ALL THESE PEOPLE THERE
FROM PARIS AND NEW YORK...
SOME CELEBRATED INTELLECTUAL,
YOU KNOW,
SOME BIG-SHOT CRITIC.
IT WAS, UH, INTIMIDATING,
BUT SHE WAS SO WARM
AND GRACIOUS.
ARE YOU COMING
TO SIT DOWN?
YEAH. YEAH...
I JUST REALLY LIKE THIS ONE.
AND THEN, UM,
AND THEN THE EARRING THING
HAPPENED.
OH.
YOU'VE LOST YOUR EARRING
IN YOUR HAIR.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I'M REALLY, REALLY EXCITED
TO GET STARTED.
NO, THANK YOU.
IT'S A DREAM PROJECT,
EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.
GOOD NIGHT.
[ JENNY ]:
TINA, I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT BETTE
WAS YOUR FIRST GIRLFRIEND.
YEAH.
FIRST, LAST, AND FOREVER.
AREN'T YOU
KIND OF CURIOUS, THOUGH,
TO BE
WITH SOMEONE ELSE?
YEAH, DEFINITELY.
I THINK, "GOD, AM I GOING
TO GO TO MY GRAVE
AND BETTE WILL BE THE ONLY WOMAN
I'VE EVER SLEPT WITH?"
BUT THEN I LOOK AT HER
AND I THINK,
"WHAT MORE COULD I WANT?"
WELL, TELL THEM
THE REST.
OKAY, SO THEN, THAT NIGHT,
I GO HOME,
AND I REALIZE
I LEFT THE EARRING
AT HER GALLERY,
EVEN THOUGH I COULD HAVE SWORN
THAT I PUT IT BACK ON MY EAR.
CALL IT FATE.
OR CALL IT THE OLDEST TRICK
IN THE BOOK.
[ SOFT ELECTRONIC MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
I COULD HAVE SWORN
I WATCHED YOU
PUT THIS BACK ON.
[ ♪♪ ]
I FORGOT SOMETHING.
YEAH. YOU DID.
I FORGOT...
THAT I WON'T BE ABLE
TO SLEEP TONIGHT
IF I DON'T TELL YOU
THAT ALL I'VE WANTED TO DO
ALL DAY LONG IS KISS YOU.
PLEASE TELL ME
IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO.
I SHOULD GO,
SHOULDN'T I?
YEAH, YOU SHOULD.
[ SOBBING ]
[ DISTANT TECHNO MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
[ CELL PHONE DIALING ]
HELLO?
HEY, YOU.
YEAH.
I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW.
YEAH.
OKAY, THAT SOUNDS NICE.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE HOT.
THANK YOU.
SHE'S SO CUTE.
NO, IT'S OKAY. GO.
OKAY. OKAY.
CHERIE...
NO, NOTHING, NOTHING.
NOTHING. I'M OKAY.
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
OKAY. BYE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M ABOUT TO GO DOWN
ON DANA FAIRBANKS.
OH...
OH, MY GOD.
I SLEPT IN MY CLOTHES.
HEY, AL.
[ DOOR UNLOCKING ]
TELL ME EVERYTHING!
TELL ME EVERYTHING.
WHERE WERE YOU?
[ PHONE RINGING ]
HI, BABY.
[ TINA ]:
THERE YOU ARE.
OH, YOU SOUND
EXHAUSTED.
DID YOU WORK LATE LAST NIGHT?
YEAH, YEAH, I DID.
WELL, YOU'RE NOT
THE ONLY ONE...
'CAUSE DANA JUST CRAWLED IN
THIS MORNING.
I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR
ABOUT IT.
SO WHEN ARE YOU
COMING HOME?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
I'LL TRY TO GET
THE GIRLS ON THE ROAD,
BUT I DON'T THINK WE'RE REALLY
GOING TO MAKE IT
UNTIL THIS AFTERNOON
BECAUSE DANA
HAS SOME AUTOGRAPH THING.
OKAY. MISS YOU.
BYE.
DANA!
WHERE'S DANA?
SAYING GOOD-BYE
TO HER FANS.
SHIT.
WHAT?
SHE IS NOT...
SHE'S NOT!
HEY, GUYS!
HEY.
YOU REMEMBER TONYA, RIGHT?
UH-HUH.
MM-HMM.
SHE'S COMING WITH US.
I'LL GET YOUR BAG.
LET'S GO.
[ TONYA ]: OH, MY GOD!
ME TOO!
I AM TOTALLY
A MORNING PERSON.
MY EX-GIRLFRIEND USED TO THINK
I WAS COMPLETELY PSYCHOTIC
BECAUSE I'D GET UP
SO EARLY, BUT WHATEVER.
I SAY, CARPE DIEM, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
YEAH, YOU MUST
HAVE TO GET UP SO EARLY
TO TRAIN, HUH?
I DO.
I BET YOU DO.
NOW, BROTHERS
OR SISTERS?
I HAVE A BROTHER, HOWIE, 16.
HE'S A TOTAL PAIN IN MY ASS.
I'LL BET HE'S CUTE, THOUGH.
HE'D HAVE TO BE.
HE'S FROM YOUR FAMILY, RIGHT?
AW, SHUT UP.
OKAY, CAT
OR DOG PERSON?
PLEASE SAY DOG,
BECAUSE I HATE CATS.
I KNOW THAT'S NOT
VERY LESBIAN OF ME AND STUFF,
BUT I THINK THEY'RE
SO COLD AND UNFEELING.
WELL, I GUESS SOME
OF THEM CAN BE, YEAH,
BUT SOME OF THEM
ARE ALMOST HUMAN.
YOU THINK?
WELL, MINE IS.
I REALLY LOVE MR. PIDDLES.
MR. PIDDLES?
YEAH. HE'S DANA'S CAT.
WELL, I THINK THAT'S GREAT,
AND I TOTALLY AGREE
WITH YOU, YOU KNOW?
THESE KIND OF DECISIONS
HAVE TO BE MADE
ON A CAT-BY-CAT BASIS.
RIGHT.
I CANNOT WAIT
TO MEET MR. PIDDLES.
SEE? OKAY,
I KNEW YOU'D GET IT.
DO YOU WANT TO SEE
A PICTURE?
I WOULD LOVE TO.
OKAY.
YOU HAVE A PICTURE
OF YOUR CAT?
THAT'S SO CUTE.
MR. PIDDLES.
SENOR PIDDLES,
INTERNATIONAL CAT OF MYSTERY.
MY MYSTERIOUS ONE-MAN SHOW.
HE'S MY SPECIAL FURRY MAN.
SEE?
[ KISSING ]
MEOW.
[ ALL ]:
BYE!
SEE YOU LATER.
WE'LL SEE YOU, GUYS.
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE WE GOING TO DO?
WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO DO ABOUT WHAT?
YOU GUYS,
DON'T TELL ME
YOU DON'T THINK
SHE'S TROUBLE.
WELL, YEAH, THE CAT THING
WAS A BIT MUCH.
YEAH, AND THAT STORY
ABOUT MEETING ANNE HECHE
IN THE RESTAURANT?
I MEAN,
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?
AND YOU GUYS,
I GAVE HER 50 BUCKS
FOR THE GAS...
AND I WATCHED THE METER,
NOT TO BE CRAZY,
BUT IT WAS $32.50,
AND SHE DIDN'T GIVE ME
ANY FUCKING CHANGE.
WHAT?
WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU
SAY ANYTHING?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS I NEED MORE EVIDENCE
OR SOMETHING...
AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?
"DANA, YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S
A GRIFTER?"
I MEAN, SHE'S HAPPY.
I CAN'T.
HEY.
I JUST THOUGHT I'D LET YOU KNOW
I'M OUT HERE WORKING.
THANK YOU.
I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T.
YOU CAN'T WHAT,
BABE?
HEY.
HI.
UM, I--I'M--
I JUST WAS THINKING
THAT I'M NOT SURE
THAT I CAN GET THE SHOW READY
IN THREE WEEKS.
YOU CAN DO IT.
THAT PARTY
WAS SO CRAZY.
GOD, IT JUST MADE ME
WANT TO GO HOME
AND CURL UP IN BED
WITH YOU.
♪ CAN'T THINK ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ WITH SOMEONE ELSE
IN MY HEAD ♪
♪ I CAN'T JUST TALK TO YOU ♪
♪ WHEN THIS LOVE IS DEAD ♪
♪ IF MY WORDS CAN'T BE TRUSTED ♪
♪ WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO? ♪
♪ IF I CHEAT ON MY LOVER ♪
♪ HOW CAN I BE FAITHFUL
TO YOU? ♪
♪ LOVE IS NOT A PLAYTHING ♪
♪ TAKEN LIGHTLY ♪
♪ HOW CAN I SEE YOU ANYMORE? ♪
♪ NOW ALL ♪
♪ MY BEST INTENTIONS ♪
♪ ARE BROKEN ON THE FLOOR ♪