[ ROMANTIC LATIN MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
[ ELECTRONIC MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
WHERE YOU GOING?
UM, I WOULD LIKE
TO GO TO THE BATHROOM,
SO...
ARE YOU COMING BACK?
MM-HMM. YEAH. YEAH.
HURRY BACK, LOVER.
WHAT A LEZ.
BABE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
SUPPOSED TO BE GONE.
NO, I HAVE
FIVE MINUTES.
WELL, DO YOU MIND
MOVING YOUR CAR?
BECAUSE THE GUYS ARE HERE
WITH THE TANK,
AND THEY CAN'T
GET THROUGH.
WHAT TANK?
IT'S OKAY. SHE'S...
SHE'S GOING TO MOVE IT
IN A MINUTE.
ARE YOU GOING TO MOVE IT
OR WHAT?
IS THAT ONE OF THOSE
BIRTHING TANKS?
YEAH.
WELL, SINCE WHEN DID WE AGREE
TO HAVE THE BABY IN WATER?
SINCE I DECIDED
TO GIVE BIRTH THAT WAY.
I DIDN'T WANT
TO BOTHER YOU WITH IT.
IT'S SIX MONTHS AWAY.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU'RE BUYING THIS NOW.
BECAUSE I GOT
A GOOD DEAL ON IT.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
MORE TO RENT IT.
AND WHAT IS DR. WILSON
SAYING ABOUT THIS?
SHE THINKS IT'S GREAT.
SO YOU TALKED TO HER ABOUT IT
BUT NOT TO ME?
BABY, PLEASE, MOVE YOUR CAR.
[ HIP-HOP MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
YO, WHAT'S UP?
♪ YEAH, I KNOW THEM PEOPLE
TURNING FIRE INTO RAIN ♪
HI, SLIM DADDY.
HEY, HOW YOU
DOING TODAY?
PRETTY GOOD.
YOU KNOW, I REALLY
WANTED TO THANK YOU
FOR GIVING ME A RIDE
TO THE STUDIO.
SHIT.
WHY WOULDN'T
I WANT TO RIDE
WITH A BEAUTIFUL
WOMAN LIKE YOU?
UH, MS. PORTER,
DO YOU WANT
A SMOOTHIE?
UH, YEAH.
WHAT'S IN THEM?
FRUIT.
TELL HER WHAT KIND WE GOT.
WE GOT
STRAWBERRY,
ORANGE,
SOME BERRY
TYPE THING
AND, UH...
PEANUT BUTTER.
YOU KNOW,
JUST IN CASE.
I WILL TAKE
THE STRAWBERRY.
YOU LIKE THAT?
YEAH, IT'S GOOD,
BUT I THINK I'D LIKE IT BETTER
IF I COULD DRINK IT MYSELF.
[ LAUGHING ]
YOU'RE DRINKING
THE PEANUT BUTTER ONE.
[ LAUGHING ]
[ CAT PURRING ]
MR. PIDDLES?
THERE'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT
I HAVE TO TELL YOU.
YOU REMEMBER LARA?
YOU REMEMBER HOW...
HOW SHE USED TO COME OVER
ALL THE TIME AND...
STAY OVER SOMETIMES AND...
WE'D MOVE AROUND A LOT AND...
TOGETHER.
MR. PIDDLES, LARA'S GAY.
SO AM I.
YOU STILL LOVE ME?
[ PURRING ]
OH, YOU'RE THE BEST CAT
IN THE WORLD, MR. P.
[ CLANGING ]
SHH.
[ DOOR CREAKING ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
[ SIGHS ] I HAVE COME
TO GET YOU OUT OF BED.
COME ON. LET'S GO.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS.
COME ON.
OH, SH... SORRY,
MR. PIDDLES.
OKAY, COME ON.
I DON'T WANT TO GO.
SOME OF US HAVE IT WORSE,
DANA, YOU KNOW?
SOME OF US ARE DATING
LESBIAN MEN, OKAY?
COME ON.
LOOK AT HER FACE.
SHE'S SEARCHING
FOR A FEELING.
IT'S LIKE SHE'S
LONGING FOR FAITH.
SHE'D DO ANYTHING
TO GET IT.
TO FEEL IT.
I LOVE THIS WORK.
IT IS REALLY COOL.
CAN I HELP YOU?
UH, BETTE PORTER.
I'M BETTE PORTER.
THESE ARE FOR YOU.
THERE'S NO CARD.
WHO ARE THESE FROM?
UH...
IT DOESN'T SAY.
TINA?
NO, TINA'S
INTO PRACTICAL GIFT GIVING.
IS THAT SUPPOSED
TO BE ART?
IT'S NOT
SUPPOSED TO BE.
IT IS.
THEN I GUESS HUSTLER
AND PENTHOUSE
HAVE BEEN PUTTING OUT
SOME PRETTY GOOD ART, TOO.
CAN YOU MAKE SURE
HE LEAVES THE BUILDING?
YEAH.
WHAT IS GOING
TO CHEER YOU UP?
[ DIALS ]
HELLO?
OH, HELLO. YEAH.
I WAS WONDERING
IF YOUR REFRIGERATOR
WAS RUNNING.
OH, IT IS?
OKAY.
GO, GO.
THEY SAID YEAH.
COME ON.
WELL, THEN
YOU BETTER CATCH IT.
[ LAUGHING ]
MOM?
YOU HAVE GOT TO TALK TO
THIS WOMAN, AND I MEAN IT.
WHY?
BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW
IF SHE'S COMING AROUND--
[ CELL PHONE RINGS ]
OKAY, IT'S HER. LET'S GO.
COME ON.
NO!
HELLO?
YES. OKAY.
NO, IT WASN'T FUNNY.
YEAH, SHE IS.
SHE WANTS TO TALK.
HELLO?
YEAH.
YEAH, I KNOW.
BUT, MOM,
I'M NOT. I--
OKAY.
O--
FINE.
FINE. OKAY.
BYE.
WELL?
IT'S LIKE I CAME OUT
TO A PIECE OF WOOD.
I MEAN,
SHE DIDN'T EVEN MENTION IT.
THAT'S GOOD.
SHE'S ACCEPTING IT
THROUGH DENIAL.
SHE'S SETTING ME UP
ON A BLIND DATE
WITH HER FRIEND MILDRED'S
SON.
AT LEAST
IT'S NOT SHOCK THERAPY.
I MEAN...
WHAT?
UH, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
HELLO.
I'M GETTING COFFEE.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
CHERIE JAFFE
IS YOUR 6:00,
AND SHE'S NOT GOING
TO WAIT FOR YOU.
BE NICE.
HI.
UM, I'M LOOKING FOR
A SHANE McCUTCHEON.
I'M SHANE.
OKAY, UM, THESE ARE
MRS. JAFFE'S RECORDS--
TREATMENTS
HER HAIR HAS UNDERGONE
IN THE LAST FIVE YEARS,
A LIST OF PREFERRED PRODUCTS
TO BE USED ON HER HAIR,
AND ONES THAT YOU MUST
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE USE.
IF YOU'VE READ AND UNDERSTAND
ALL THE INFORMATION,
YOU CAN JUST SIGN
RIGHT HERE.
THERE YOU GO.
NO PROBLEM.
THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
THAT'S SHANE.
SORRY, WHAT?
THAT'S SHANE.
GREAT.
HI.
HELLO.
AND FIVE, SIX,
SEVEN, EIGHT.
TURN, ONE, TWO,
THREE, FOUR,
AND FIVE, SIX, SEVEN,
AND EIGHT.
ONE, TWO,
THREE, FOUR,
AND HIT, WALK,
FIVE, SIX,
SEVEN, EIGHT.
OKAY, LET'S TRY IT
ONE MORE TIME.
LET'S GET BACK
IN FORMATION.
AND ONE, TWO,
THREE, FOUR.
AND FIVE, SIX,
AND SEVEN.
FIVE, SIX,
SEVEN AGAIN.
ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR.
YOU A FAN,
OR ARE YOU JUST
WATCHING?
OH...
I'M WAITING
FOR MY SISTER,
KIT PORTER.
YOU KIT'S SISTER?
HER HALF SISTER.
THE BEAUTIFUL HALF,
I'M SUPPOSING.
MORE LIKE
THE GAY HALF.
IS THAT SO?
MM, THAT'S SEXY.
VERY SEXY.
HEY, MAN, WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH Y'ALL PEOPLE?
WE TORTURING Y'ALL
OR SOMETHING?
'CAUSE I GOT
A GANG OF PEOPLE OUTSIDE
THAT'D LOVE TO BE IN
THIS POSITION THAT Y'ALL ARE IN.
Y'ALL NEED TO FIX YOUR FACES
UP IN HERE.
THERE YOU GO, MY GIRL.
YOU HAVING
FUN YET, BABY?
YEAH, IF THAT'S
WHAT YOU WANT TO CALL IT.
OH, THESE PEOPLE
ARE TRYING
TO KILL ME.
YOU KNOW
I CAN'T DANCE
UNLESS I DRINK.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT
I LIKE TO SEE.
JUST LIKE THAT.
YOU KNOW,
ME AND YOUR SISTER,
WE HAD
A LITTLE TALK.
SHE'S A VERY
INTERESTING LADY.
DID SHE TELL YOU
THAT SHE WAS INTO WOMEN?
YEAH.
THAT'S ONE
OF THE THINGS
WE HAVE IN COMMON.
MATTER OF FACT,
WHERE YOUR GIRLFRIENDS
AT RIGHT NOW?
WE DON'T USUALLY
TRAVEL IN PACKS.
IT'D BE NICE
IF YOU HAD THEM
COME BY HERE
TOMORROW, YOU KNOW?
BRING SOME EXCITEMENT
TO THIS HERE VIDEO.
WAIT A MINUTE,
FOR ME OR YOU?
SHIT, I FIGURE
WE CAN SHARE.
HE CERTAINLY LIVES UP
TO HIS REPUTATION.
WHICH ONE?
HE'S SUCH A FLIRT.
HE'S A PLAYER,
AND I'M TELLING YOU,
HE FLIRTS
WITH EVERYBODY.
BELIEVE ME,
I DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS
SPECIAL OR ANYTHING.
AW, YOU ARE SPECIAL.
YOU'RE MY SISTER.
AND ALSO,
WILL YOU CALL GWYNNIE
AND GET THREE TICKETS
TO COLDPLAY
FOR CLEA?
BUT DON'T TELL HER,
ALL RIGHT?
'CAUSE I WANT TO SEE
IF SHE KEEPS THIS JOB.
I'M NOT ABOUT TO REWARD HER
IF SHE QUITS.
OKAY.
I THINK THAT'S IT.
WHY DON'T YOU GO TO NEIMAN'S
AND PICK UP MY MANOLOS?
I THINK LONNIE'S
HOLDING THEM FOR ME.
NEIMAN'S?
YES, NEIMAN'S.
OKAY.
BYE.
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.
I WANT SO MANY THINGS,
BUT IN TERMS
OF WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR ME,
I WANT A CHANGE.
I WANT SOMETHING NEW.
EXCELLENT.
OKAY.
YEAH.
I KNOW WHAT TO DO.
JUST TAKE THIS OFF.
THERE'S SOME SMOCKS
IN THE BACK.
DO YOU LIKE IT?
YES.
IT'S PROSECCO.
IN NORTHERN ITALY,
THEY SERVE IT ON TAP.
THANKS.
IT'S LOVELY,
ISN'T IT?
MM-HMM.
I LIKE TO START
WITH SOMETHING BUBBLY,
BUT I FIND CHAMPAGNE
CAN BE TOO FULL
OF EXPECTATION.
I LIKE TO KEEP
THINGS SIMPLE.
SO HOW DID YOU
MEET HARRY?
THROUGH A FRIEND.
I HAVE TO SAY,
WHEN HE TOLD ME
I SHOULD COME SEE YOU,
I THOUGHT HE WAS
FULL OF SHIT,
AS USUAL,
BUT THEN ELLIE ZIMMER
WALKED INTO
THE LACMA BENEFIT
TWO WEEKS AGO,
AND I ALMOST DIDN'T
RECOGNIZE HER.
I MEAN, THAT WOMAN
HAS NOT LOOKED GOOD
IN 12 YEARS,
BUT THERE SHE WAS,
LOOKING STUNNING.
YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB.
THANK YOU.
SO HOW DID YOU GET HARRY
TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU?
WELL, I DIDN'T
SLEEP WITH HIM.
THE GIFT OF THE MAGI
IS ONE OF THE MOST
PERFECT STORIES
THAT'S EVER
BEEN WRITTEN.
TALK ABOUT ECONOMY
OF LANGUAGE.
IF IT'S A SUCCESS,
IT'LL TRAVEL
TO NEW YORK,
THEN L.A.,
AND IT SHOULD,
BECAUSE THERE ARE
EXTRAORDINARY
PEOPLE INVOLVED.
ARE YOU REFERRING
TO YOURSELF?
AND A FEW OTHERS.
SUCH AS THE PRIMA
BALLERINA?
SHE WAS PRETTY TERRIFIC.
FRANCESCA
WAS A BIG FAN
OF THE PRIMA
BALLERINA.
I HAD SEX WITH HER,
AND NOW MARINA'S
PRETENDING
TO BE JEALOUS.
IT'S JUST THE WAY
IT HAPPENED.
THERE'S THIS WOMAN,
SHE'S GETTING HER
COSTUME FITTING,
AND FRANCESCA
PROCEEDED
TO SEDUCE HER,
WHICH I THINK IS
A BIT UNETHICAL.
YOU DO?
DO YOU FIND THAT
HARD TO BELIEVE?
YEAH.
"ETHICAL" ISN'T REALLY
THE FIRST WORD
THAT COMES TO MIND
WHEN I THINK
OF MARINA.
YOU SOUND ANGRY.
NO.
WELL, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL,
AND THAT COMPENSATES
FOR A MULTITUDE
OF SINS,
DOESN'T IT?
COME ON.
IT'S A COMPLIMENT TO BE
THE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, JENNY?
YES.
HARRY? YOU ASSHOLE.
I'M CALLING YOU
TO SAY THANK YOU
FOR BEGGING ME
TO GO TO SHANE.
SAY, "HELLO, HARRY."
HELLO, HARRY.
UH-HUH.
NO, IT'S AMAZING.
SHE'S A GENIUS.
YEAH, FIRST OF ALL,
FOR GIVING ME A GREAT HAIRCUT,
AND SECOND OF ALL,
FOR NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU,
SO CALL ME WHEN YOU
GET OUT OF YOUR "K" HOLE, OKAY?
THANK YOU,
MRS. JAFFE.
GIVE THAT TO SHANE?
SURE.
I LOVE MY HAIR.
GORGEOUS.
AFTER YOU.
SEE YOU AGAIN.
SHANE...
WHAT?
MRS. JAFFE LEFT THIS FOR YOU.
COOL.
200 BUCKS. NICE WORK.
DON'T FORGET
TO SWEEP UP.
DON'T DO THAT.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
HOW DIFFICULT IT'S BEEN
TO GET YOU OUT OF MY MIND.
WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT?
BECAUSE YOU'RE ACTING
LIKE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
WITH FEELINGS.
WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU ACT SO COLD.
IT'S REALLY HARD TO KNOW
THAT YOU HAVE ANY.
IF YOU'RE SO ANGRY,
WHY DID YOU
ACCEPT THIS INVITATION?
BECAUSE I WANTED
TO KNOW
WHY SOMEONE
WOULD WORK SO HARD
TO MAKE SOMEONE
FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM,
WHEN THEY REALLY
DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
"WORK SO HARD."
GREAT.
THAT'S A GREAT ASSESSMENT
ON WHO I AM.
WELL, YOU TELL ME
WHO YOU ARE.
YOU KEEP
ASKING ME THAT.
OBVIOUSLY,
YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S SO SAD?
IS THAT YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME.
THAT'S...
I THOUGHT IT WAS
A LITTLE QUIET DOWN HERE.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S OKAY.
IS IT?
THE THING ABOUT MARINA
IS WHEN SHE
FOCUSES ON YOU,
YOU FEEL LIKE
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT EXISTS.
IT'S HER GIFT.
I DON'T BLAME YOU
FOR FALLING IN LOVE
WITH HER,
BUT MAYBE YOU USE YOUR GIFT
A LITTLE TOO FREELY.
WHAT'S THIS?
THAT'S THE WINE
JENNY BROUGHT.
I GUESS I'LL
OPEN THIS, THEN.
SO, JENNY, TELL ME ABOUT
THE STORY YOU'VE BEEN WRITING,
THE ONE ABOUT THE DEMONS.
MARINA SAYS
IT'S REALLY
QUITE GOOD.
IS IT FINISHED?
SO THIS IS WHAT
THE TWO OF YOU DO?
YOU GO AND YOU MAKE
THESE LITTLE CONQUESTS,
AND THEN YOU GO HOME
AND YOU COMPARE NOTES?
YOU TRY TO MAKE
EACH OTHER JEALOUS
IN ORDER TO FIND
THE OTHER DESIRABLE?
I WOULDN'T BE
SO SELF-RIGHTEOUS.
YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY
AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER.
CLASSY.
I'M SORRY THE EVENING
TURNED OUT LIKE THIS,
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND.
WHEN I GO AWAY,
MARINA CAN DO
WHATEVER SHE WANTS,
AS CAN I,
BUT WHEN I COME BACK,
I WANT MY HOME
THE WAY I'VE LEFT IT.
I HOPE THAT ISN'T
TOO MUCH TO ASK.
THANK YOU.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
HI.
JEN.
MM-HMM?
FEEL LIKE WATCHING
A REALLY BAD KUNG FU MOVIE?
YEAH.
IT'S PRETTY STUPID,
BUT IT'S KIND OF WHAT
I'M IN THE MOOD FOR THOUGH.
NO, STUPID IS GOOD.
COME HERE.
COME ON.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
ARE YOU MAD
THAT I MADE A DECISION?
NO.
I JUST...
I JUST FEEL
A LITTLE LEFT OUT.
I, UH...
GET THIS FEELING
FROM YOU
THAT YOU'RE SO PROUD
TO BE WITH ME,
AND IT MAKES ME FEEL
REALLY SAFE AND LOVED.
IT'S GREAT...
BUT LATELY,
I HAVEN'T BEEN
FEELING IT...
SO I'VE JUST
BEEN TRYING
TO CONCENTRATE
ON MYSELF,
AND, UH...
I'VE BEEN TRYING
NOT TO GET SCARED ABOUT IT.
HI. MORNING.
MORNING.
I LOVE BEING HERE
WITH YOU.
CAN I TELL YOU
SOMETHING?
IT'S OVER
BETWEEN MARINA AND ME.
I WENT OVER TO HER
AND HER GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE
LAST NIGHT.
I HAVE NEVER MET
ANYBODY LIKE THAT
IN MY LIFE BEFORE.
IT'S ALL ABOUT
THEIR OWN EGOS,
AND THEY DON'T CARE
WHO THEY HURT,
AND THEY JUST DRAW YOU
INTO THIS WEB
FOR SOME KIND OF A SPORT.
I'M NOT GOING TO SEE HER
EVER AGAIN.
I THREW A BOTTLE OF WINE
AT THEIR HOUSE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I TOOK
A GIANT FUCKING STEP
BACKWARDS.
I DON'T WANT TO BE
BACK TOGETHER WITH YOU, JENNY.
I MEAN,
I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
YOU KNOW, YOU JUST...
YOU START TALKING
ABOUT MARINA AND HER GIRLFRIEND
AND HOW PHONY AND MANIPULATIVE
THEY ARE
AND ALL I CAN THINK IS,
THAT'S YOU.
THAT'S WHO
YOU'VE BECOME.
IT'S LIKE YOU'VE
DONE THIS THING,
AND YOU CAN'T
WASH IT OFF.
IT'S IN YOU.
I-I DON'T WANT IT IN ME.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
FUCK YOU, TIM.
I AM NOT APOLOGIZING ANYMORE.
[ SHOWER RUNNING ]
[ CELL PHONE RINGING ]
HEY, ARE YOU GOING
TO ANSWER THAT?
NO.
IT'S LISA.
HERE.
LET ME SEE IT.
GUYS, I NEED I.D.s.
RIGHT.
HELLO?
NO, SHE STEPPED AWAY
FROM THE PHONE
FOR JUST A MINUTE.
OKAY. WOW.
ALL RIGHT.
HOLD ON A SECOND.
OKAY, HERE.
HE SAYS HE CAN
HEAR YOU BREATHING.
I.D.s?
YES.
HERE YOU GO.
WE'RE HERE TO SEE
KIT PORTER.
OKAY.
I DON'T KNOW.
LET ME ASK THE CAR.
DO YOU GUYS FEEL
LIKE SUBCONSCIOUSLY
MAYBE WE POSSIBLY
FORGOT TO INVITE LISA
BECAUSE HE'S A LITTLE BIT
DIFFERENT?
YES.
DANA...
GIVE ME THE PHONE.
HEY, LEES?
HI. LOOK, IT COMPLETELY
SLIPPED OUR MINDS.
LOOK, YOU HAVE
TO STOP BEING
SUCH A LESBIAN MAN.
NO, IT'S NOT CUTE,
AND YOU ARE GOING
TO CHASE THE GIRLS AWAY,
I PROMISE.
SORRY.
I'M NOT SHOWING
ANYTHING HERE.
SHE SHOULD HAVE LEFT OUR NAMES
AT THE GATE.
YO.
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
SORRY, I DON'T MEAN TO
HOLD UP MR. DADDY,
BUT I CAN'T LET THESE
WOMEN ON THE LOT.
SURE YOU CAN.
THEY'RE WITH US.
THESE ARE
SLIM DADDY'S PEOPLE.
ALL OF THEM?
YEAH.
THIS ONE'S HIS BUSINESS MANAGER,
THAT ONE OVER THERE,
THAT'S HIS ACCOUNTANT,
THE LITTLE BLONDIE
IN THE BACK,
THAT'S HIS P.R. LADY...
AND THIS ONE HERE,
THIS ONE,
SHE'S HIS WHITE LADY...
AND, UH, THIS ONE
OVER HERE...
SHE'S JUST
A FRIEND OF THEM,
CAME ALONG
FOR THE RIDE.
SO WHAT YOU SAY, PARTNER?
YOU COOL WITH THAT?
YEAH, I'LL SET THEM UP
WITH SOME PASSES.
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
THANKS.
APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU.
YO, UM, SLIM DADDY
WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS SOME
OF HIS BUSINESS PLANS WITH YOU,
IF YOU GOT A MINUTE.
WELL, SURELY HE WOULD WANT
HIS ACCOUNTANT TO BE THERE, TOO.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
ALL OF THAT.
WELL, AS HIS BUSINESS MANAGER,
I WOULD HAVE TO INSIST.
ALL RIGHT.
YO, SLIM,
I GOT A LITTLE
SOMETHING
HOOKED UP FOR YOU.
HEY.
HEY, LOVE.
HEY.
WHAT'S UP?
♪ EVEN THOUGH NO ONE ELSE
IS EVER HIGHER ♪
♪ NO STAR SHINES BRIGHTER ♪
SO WHO IS THIS?
THIS IS MY PARTNER, TINA.
HELLO.
WHAT'S UP, TINA?
HOW YOU DOING?
I'M GOOD.
SO WHAT, Y'ALL GOT
A LITTLE BUSINESS
RELATIONSHIP
OR SOMETHING?
OH, WE'RE
LIFE PARTNERS.
WHAT? Y'ALL MARRIED?
HMM, I SEE.
SO YOU GOT YOURSELF
A LITTLE COMMITMENT, HUH?
AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR SISTER?
YOU THINK
SHE'D BE INTERESTED,
OR IS SHE WITH
A CHICK TOO?
UH, NO, KIT IS NOT GAY.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID SHE WAS.
NO, I SAID I WAS.
SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME
WHEN SHE FIND OUT THE DIRECTION
I TOOK ON THIS VIDEO.
♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ DO IT TO 'EM, GIRL ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
[ ♪♪ ]
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
SHIT.
I FEEL LIKE I DID THIS.
NO, LOOK,
SHE'S HAVING FUN.
SHE'S BEING MOUNTED.
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
LET'S CUT.
CUT IT.
EVERYONE BACK
TO FIRST POSITIONS, PLEASE.
PLAYBACK.
ACTION.
[ ♪♪ ]
♪ YEAH,
KIT PORTER IN THE HOUSE ♪
I WANT TO DO THAT DANCE.
WAIT.
YOU DO NOT WANT
TO DO THAT DANCE.
LOOK, THIS IS HARD, SHANE.
DO YOU SEE THIS?
IT'S BECAUSE IT REQUIRES
A SENSE OF RHYTHM, ALICE,
THAT YOU DON'T SEEM TO POSSESS.
AT ALL.
OH.
YOU TWO MARRIED TOO?
US? NO.
WE'RE JUST
FREE-WHEELING.
WHO IS THIS?
I'M SHANE.
OH, I'M SORRY.
HAVE A SEAT.
IT'S LIKE SOME
WEIRD CARNIVAL MIRROR
OR SOMETHING.
I KNOW.
LET'S CUT. CUT IT.
I CAN'T DO THIS.
I CAN'T...
I CAN'T DO THIS.
YOU KNOW,
I LOVE THE SONG,
AND I REALLY WANT
TO BE IN THE VIDEO,
BUT I JUST CAN'T
BE IN IT
LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW?
WHEN I STOPPED DRINKING,
I PROMISED MYSELF
I WOULD NEVER MAKE
A FOOL OF MYSELF AGAIN.
LOOK, IT'S MY BAD.
I PUT THE LADIES
IN THE VIDEO
BECAUSE I THOUGHT THIS
WAS WHAT YOU WANTED.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS
YOUR THING.
YOU DID THAT FOR ME?
THAT WAS SWEET.
LOOK, IT'S NOT
ABOUT THE GIRLS.
IT REALLY ISN'T.
IT'S JUST THAT,
HEY, I AIN'T 20,
AND I AIN'T
NOBODY'S HOOCHIE,
AND I JUST SAID TO MYSELF,
"WHY AM I PUTTING MYSELF
THROUGH ALL THIS?"
YOU KNOW?
IF THEY DON'T LIKE ME
AND MY SONG,
THIS IS NOT
GOING TO CONVINCE THEM.
UH, SORRY
TO INTERRUPT.
EXCUSE ME, BUT, UH...
I HAVE TO KEEP
SHOOTING.
ARE YOU IN OR NOT?
EXCUSE ME, KID.
IF IT WASN'T
FOR KIT PORTER,
WOULDN'T NONE OF US
BE HERE.
WOULDN'T BE NO SONG,
WOULDN'T BE NO VIDEO
FOR YOU TO SHOOT.
SO WHAT YOU MEANT
TO SAY WAS,
YOU FIXIN' TO SIT
YOUR ASS OVER THERE
AND FIGURE OUT HOW
TO GET THIS RIGHT,
RIGHT?
OH.
THERE'S SOMEONE HERE
TO SEE YOU.
HI.
HELLO.
UM, CHERIE'S HOSTING
A BENEFIT THIS EVENING
FOR THE WOMEN'S
CANCER PROJECT,
AND SHE'D LIKE YOU
TO DO HER HAIR.
TONIGHT?
YEAH, TONIGHT
AT 5:00.
CAN I LET HER KNOW
THAT YOU'LL BE THERE?
YEAH.
EXCELLENT CHOICE.
HERE'S THE DIRECTIONS.
THANKS.
PLEASE BE ON TIME.
MRS. JAFFE GETS GRUMPY
WHEN SHE'S MADE TO WAIT.
OH, MAN.
BETTE.
COFFEE...
SO AS FAR AS
I'VE FIGURED OUT,
THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE
ARE THE COALITION
FOR CONCERNED CITIZENS.
THEY'VE KIND OF
ALL BUT STOOD UP
AND SAID
THAT THEY DID IT.
THEY'VE BEEN
TRACKING THE SHOW
SINCE NEW YORK,
BUT THEY'RE ALL READY
TO GET SERIOUS
HERE IN L.A.,
BECAUSE
AS THEY SEE IT,
L.A. IS THE CAPITAL
OF FILTH AND DEGRADATION.
THEY SENT THESE?
UH, YEAH.
WHEN DID THEY ARRIVE?
A COUPLE DAYS AGO.
I THOUGHT IT WAS JUNK MAIL.
OKAY. I JUST...
I WANT YOU TO GET ME
AS MUCH INFORMATION AS YOU CAN.
JUST FIND OUT WHO RUNS THE THING
AND WHO FUNDS THEM.
I NEED TO KNOW
WHAT WE'RE UP AGAINST.
RIGHT.
OKAY?
RUNS AND FUNDS. YEAH.
[ DOORBELL RINGING ]
HELLO, MISS.
HI.
I PARKED THERE.
IS THAT OKAY?
YES.
OKAY.
THE MISSUS,
SHE WAIT FOR YOU
UPSTAIRS.
OH.
OKAY.
HELLO.
HI.
OKAY,
SO SHOULD I, UM...
SHOULD I DO WHAT
I DID LAST TIME?
I WAS HOPING
FOR A LITTLE MORE.
OH. WELL,
WHAT KIND OF MORE?
LOTS MORE.
OH.
OH, I SEE.
IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.
YOU'RE CONSTANTLY
COMPLAINING
ABOUT FEELING SLUGGISH.
NOT CONSTANTLY.
PRETTY CLOSE,
AND LATELY, I FEEL
LIKE YOU BRING THAT FATIGUE
INTO THE BEDROOM.
I MEAN,
I MAKE LOVE TO YOU,
AND THEN,
WHEN IT'S MY TURN,
YOU'RE TOO TIRED,
AND I DON'T WANT
TO MAKE YOU,
BUT I END UP
NOT HAVING AN ORGASM,
AND IT'S FRUSTRATING.
SO YOU'RE PUMPING ME
FULL OF SPIRULINA,
SO YOU CAN COME?
NO. GOD.
I'M JUST SAYING
YOU DON'T EAT THAT WELL,
AND IF YOU WOULD JUST
CUT OUT THE RED MEAT,
IT MIGHT HELP.
[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING ]
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE.
HI. I'M DANA FAIRBANKS.
ANDREW.
SIT DOWN.
ANDREW. THANKS.
SO...
I, UH...
I TALKED TO YOUR MOM
ON THE PHONE.
OH, YEAH.
YEAH.
SHE, UH...
SHE SAID
YOU'RE A TENNIS PLAYER.
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
IT'S FUN, YOU KNOW.
IT'S FUN.
IT'S HARD WORK,
THOUGH.
WELL, IT SHOWS.
YOU HAVE
A REALLY BEAUTIFUL BODY.
YEAH, OKAY.
YOU KNOW,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU NEED TO BE SET UP.
WHEN YOUR MOTHER
SHOWED ME YOUR PICTURE,
I WAS LIKE...
WAS IT A SUBARU AD,
BY ANY CHANCE?
OH, YOU DID A SUBARU AD?
YEAH.
THE SLOGAN WAS,
"GET OUT AND STAY OUT."
IS THAT, LIKE,
AN OUTDOORSY KIND OF...
GAY THING?
YEAH, LOOK, UM...
THAT'S ME, OKAY?
I'M--I'M A LESBIAN.
DON'T LOOK AT ME
LIKE THAT, OKAY?
I DON'T WANT
TO HAVE SEX
WITH YOU
AND ANOTHER WOMAN, OKAY?
I WOULD JUST WANT
TO HAVE SEX WITH THE WOMAN.
ALL RIGHT?
I'M THAT GAY.
I'M SORRY
YOU HAD TO COME
ALL THE WAY OUT HERE
AND DO THIS.
IT'S OKAY.
GREAT.
THAT'S GREAT.
WELL, GOSH,
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
WELL, IT WAS GREAT
MEETING YOU.
IT WAS GOOD TO MEET YOU.
TAKE CARE.
WAY TO GO.
SCORE.
HI.
ALICE.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
ANDREW.
YOU HANDLED THAT
REALLY WELL.
HEY.
HOW DID IT GO?
I FEEL GREAT.
WELL, IT ALL
HAPPENED SO FAST.
I COULDN'T THINK
OF ANYTHING ELSE.
SO, ANDREW...
YOU'RE STRAIGHT,
OR...
UH, YES.
COMPLETELY?
NO SHADES OF GRAY
OR ANYTHING?
NONE.
WOW. FASCINATING.
SO YOU HAVE
NO SEXUAL AMBIGUITY?
NO VARIATION
ON YOUR ORIENTATION, OR...
IS SHE FLIRTING
WITH HIM?
YOU'RE NOT HIDING
A VAGINA IN THERE?
ONE TESTICLE?
YEAH.
I JUST TOLD
MY FIRST STRAIGHT GUY
THAT I WAS GAY
AND NOT EVEN
TO BOTHER TRYING.
GOOD FOR YOU.
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU ARE
FUCKING AMAZING.
I CAN'T WAIT
TO TELL HARRY.
HE'S GOING TO BE
SO JEALOUS.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
CHERIE?
OH, MY GOD.
IT'S STEVE.
OH, FUCK.
HERE, TAKE IT.
SHIT.
FUCK.
YOU HAVE EVERYTHING?
YEAH.
YOU'RE GOOD?
GOT IT.
[ KNOCKING ]
HELLO?
HONEY,
YOU'RE ALWAYS INTERRUPTING ME
WHEN I'M NOT READY YET.
I THOUGHT
YOU'D BE DRESSED BY NOW.
I'M JUST GETTING
MY HAIR DONE.
OH.
LOOKS GOOD.
IT'S THE JUST-FUCKED LOOK.
YEAH, WELL,
IT WORKS FOR ME.
HI.
AH, YOU MUST
BE SHANE.
MY HANDS ARE WET.
THAT'S OKAY.
YEAH, YOU LOOK GREAT.
IT'S GOOD TO BE ABLE
TO PUT A FACE
TO THE NAME.
HARRY WON'T STOP
TALKING ABOUT YOU.
SHE'S THE BEST.
YEAH, OKAY.
LET ME SEE...
EXCELLENT.
YOU LOOK LOVELY.
IT WAS NICE
TO MEET YOU.
SAME HERE.
SO, UM...
IF I NEED A TOUCH-UP,
I'LL CALL YOU.
YEAH. YEAH.
YO, HEY, HEY,
WHOA, WHOA.
HOLD ON A SECOND
THERE.
CHERIE SAID
SHE FORGOT TO PAY YOU.
NO, NO, NO.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
IT'S YOUR MONEY.
YOU EARNED IT.
YOU HAVE
A REAL TALENT.
YOU MADE MY WIFE LOOK HOT.
SERIOUS.
I SAW HER,
I THOUGHT I WAS
GOING TO BANG HER
RIGHT THERE.
YOU KNOW HOW MANY
MARRIED MEN
THINK THAT ABOUT
THEIR OWN WIVES?
NONE.
YOU COULD BE A GOLD MINE,
YOU KNOW THAT?
THANK YOU.
I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU.
OH, GOOD.
YOU GOT THEM.
I HAD TO GO
TO THREE DIFFERENT
BOOKSTORES.
MONKEYS GO ON STRIKE.
DON'T LAUGH.
MONKEYS GO ON STRIKE
IS MY FAVORITE,
SECOND ONLY
TO AARDVARK MAKES PASTA.
THAT'S GREAT.
MY DAD USED TO READ THESE TO ME
WHEN I WAS LITTLE.
ARE YOU GOING TO BE
ONE OF THOSE MOMS
WHO'S ALWAYS READING
TO TINA'S STOMACH?
IT'S READING
TO THE BABY, JAMES.
SHIT, I'M LATE
FOR A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT
WITH TINA.
CAN YOU FINISH
GATHERING THE INFORMATION
AND JUST HAVE IT READY FOR ME
IN THE MORNING?
YEAH.
GOT EVERYTHING
YOU NEED?
YEAH.
GOOD LUCK.
10 BUCKS SAYS TINA LAUGHS
AT MONKEYS GO ON STRIKE.
BYE. SEE YOU TOMORROW.
HELLO. EXCUSE ME.
DO YOU WORK
HERE AT THE MUSEUM?
YES, I DO.
GREAT.
CAN YOU TELL ME
IF ISABELLA PERNAO'S WORK
HAS ARRIVED YET?
WELL, I'M NOT AT
LIBERTY TO SAY
WHETHER MS. PERNAO'S
WORK HAS ARRIVED.
BUT YOU'RE EXPECTING IT.
THE WORK
BLASPHEMING JESUS CHRIST.
THE PIECE REFERENCES
A JESUS FIGURE
IN A SYMBOLIC WAY,
NOT A LITERAL ONE.
HOW IS MS. PERNAO'S WORK
RELEVANT TO ANYONE,
MS. PORTER,
EXCEPT TO DEGRADE AND OFFEND
ANYONE OF THE CHRISTIAN FAITH?
WELL, IT'S RELEVANT
BECAUSE WE HAVE TO HAVE
OTHER PERSPECTIVES.
NOT EVERYONE
IS OF THE CHRISTIAN FAITH.
NOT EVERYONE BELIEVES
IN HEAVEN OR HELL.
ART REFLECTS THAT.
IT'S A MIRROR
OF THE WORLD WE LIVE IN.
SO ACCORDING TO THE C.A.C.,
THE WORLD THAT WE LIVE IN
IS A GODLESS ONE?
NO, THAT'S NOT
WHAT I SAID.
MS. PORTER,
DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN?
IT'S A SIMPLE QUESTION.
MY PARTNER AND I
ARE EXPECTING A BABY.
SHAME ON YOU, MS. PORTER.
SHAME.
YOU ARE MAKING THIS WORLD
A DARKER PLACE
FOR YOUR CHILD
TO LIVE IN.
MS. PORTER,
DO YOU THINK THE FACT
THAT YOU'RE HOMOSEXUAL
MAKES YOU MORALLY BANKRUPT?
BY YOUR DEFINITION,
I'M A PERVERT,
SINCE REALLY,
WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY
IS ONLY A PERVERT
COULD SHOW THIS WORK.
THANK YOU
FOR YOUR FRANKNESS.
OH, AND I HOPE
YOU LIKED THE FLOWERS.
THEY'RE JUST
MY WAY OF SAYING,
"NOTHING PERSONAL."
FAE BUCKLEY?
BINGO.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
I SAID I'VE MADE SOME
INTERESTING CHOICES.
IT SOUNDS
LIKE YOU'VE MADE
SOME PRETTY BAD ONES.
NOW, WHAT WAS
THAT MANDATE?
SIMPLE
BOY-ON-GIRL SEX,
WITH NO
COMPLICATED STUFF?
[ KNOCKING ]
[ LISA ]: ALICE?
FUCK.
OKAY, I MIGHT HAVE
TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
SHIT.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
HI.
HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?
LISA--
DUDE,
YOUR NAME'S LISA?
HARSH.
IT'S MY TAKEN NAME,
ALL RIGHT?
OKAY, WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING,
ALL RIGHT?
HE REPRESENTS
EVERYTHING
THAT IS WRONG IN THE WORLD,
AND ALL YOU WANT TO DO
IS HAVE SEX WITH HIM.
HEY.
TAKE IT EASY.
I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE IT EASY,
ALL RIGHT, PAL?
I'M HER LESBIAN LOVER.
WHOA.
IT JUST GOT
NOT WORTH IT.
UM...
I'LL CALL YOU.
SURE.
OKAY. GREAT.
IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU GOT
YOUR WORK
CUT OUT FOR YOU.
YEAH, DYKE DRAMA.
YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.
NO.
YOU KNOW WHAT, LISA?
WHEN I FIRST STARTED
SEEING YOU,
I WANTED SOMETHING
SIMPLE AND EASY,
AND INSTEAD I END UP
WITH THE MOST COMPLICATED
INTERPRETATION
OF SEXUAL IDENTITY
I'VE EVER ENCOUNTERED.
YOU KNOW, I MEAN,
YOU DO "LESBIAN"
BETTER THAN ANY LESBIAN
I KNOW, OKAY?
AND I DON'T WANT
A LESBIAN BOYFRIEND.
I'M SORRY.
I WANT A BOYFRIEND
WHO'S STRAIGHT,
OR I WANT A LESBIAN
WHO'S A GIRL.
HELLO.
SO SORRY. I'M SO LATE.
YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME
IF I TOLD YOU.
IS TINA NOT HERE YET,
OR AM I LATER THAN I THOUGHT?
BETTE...
PLEASE...
HAVE A SEAT.
WHERE'S TINA?
BETTE,
I'M AFRAID I HAVE
SOME BAD NEWS.
DURING OUR EXAMINATION,
I WAS UNABLE
TO LOCATE A HEARTBEAT.
THE FETUS HAS
STOPPED THRIVING.
THIS IS USUALLY DUE
TO SOME
CONGENITAL PROBLEM.
IT'S KIND OF
THE BODY'S OWN WAY
OF ENDING
A PREGNANCY.
IT'S REALLY
VERY COMMON
WITH FIRST-TIME
PREGNANCIES,
MORE SO THAN IS
EVEN TALKED ABOUT.
[ HAMMERING ]
STAY HERE, OKAY?
STAY RIGHT HERE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
EXCUSE ME. WHAT THE HELL
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
TELLING PEOPLE
THE TRUTH.
YOU SHUT THAT OFF.
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT.
YOU SHUT IT OFF.
THAT STUFF YOU'RE SHOWING
IN YOUR "MUSEUM,"
IT'S PORNOGRAPHY,
IT'S FILTH,
IT'S DISGUSTING.
THIS IS MY HOME!
THIS IS MY FAMILY!
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT
TO COME HERE,
DO YOU HEAR ME?
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT
TO CORRUPT CHILDREN.
YOU TAKE THIS BACK
TO FAE BUCKLEY.
AND YOU TELL HER
IF SHE EVER, EVER
TRIES SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN,
SHE WILL REGRET IT.
SHUT THAT OFF.
YOU'RE GOING TO HELL.
[ SOFT ROCK MUSIC ]
[ ♪♪ ]
♪ I NEVER SAY MY PRAYERS ♪
♪ AT NIGHT ANYMORE ♪
[ ♪♪ ]
♪ IF GOD IS THERE ♪
♪ I DON'T THINK
HE'S LISTENING ♪
[ ♪♪ ]
♪ BUT IF I WAS INCLINED ♪
♪ TO BEND THE KNEE ♪
[ ♪♪ ]
♪ I'D BE ASKING HIM ♪
♪ FOR JUST ONE THING ♪
[ ♪♪ ]
♪ DON'T CHANGE
EVEN ONE DETAIL ♪
♪ DON'T EVER LIFT THE VEIL ♪
♪ KEEP THE FUTURE ♪
♪ A MYSTERY ♪
[ ♪♪ ]
♪ EXCEPT FOR YOU AND ME ♪
♪ HOLY ♪
♪ THE ONLY SACRED THING ♪
♪ I BELIEVE ♪
♪ THE ONLY MIRACLE ♪
♪ I RECEIVE ♪
♪ ONLY YOU ♪
♪ ONLY ME ♪
♪ ONLY YOU ♪