[ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING ]
YOU READY?
I'LL BET YOU ARE.
YOU JUST GOING TO STAND THERE,
OR ARE YOU GOING TO DO
SOMETHING WITH THIS?
GO ON, TAKE THAT MEAT.
[ MOANING ]
[ ORDER BELL RINGS ]
♪ THIS KIND OF LOVE
CAUSES PAIN ♪
♪ A BETTER LOVE ♪
24!
NUMBER 24?
♪ YOUR LOVE HAS LANDED ME ♪
♪ IN CHAINS ♪
♪ YOUR LOVE HAS LANDED ME ♪
♪ IN CHAINS ♪
STEPHEN GREEN,
YOU FUCKIN' FAGGOT,
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO REMAIN SILENT.
ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE
USED AGAINST YOU.
[ ♪♪ ]
[ GIGGLING ]
[ CHINA CRASHING ]
FUCK. MOM!
SHIT.
WASN'T MY FAULT.
IT WASN'T MY FAULT.
THAT MACHINE IS JUST...
CHRIST.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT THE F--
OH, GOD, MOM!
FUCK.
DO YOU KNOW
HOW MUCH
THAT ESPRESSO MAKER
COST, MOM?
WH--WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
MY NAME.
OKAY, THIS IS
NOT SOMETHING
YOU JUST GO
AND WRITE YOUR NAME ON
LIKE YOU'RE GIVING
SOME SORT OF AUTOGRAPH.
I KNOW THAT, ALICE,
I AM NOT STUPID.
I UNDERSTAND THE PURPOSE
OF YOUR CHART.
THAT'S WHY
I WROTE MY NAME.
RIGHT THERE,
OFF OF SHANE.
SHANE?
MM-HMM.
REMEMBER THE OTHER NIGHT
AT THE PARTY,
WHEN WE WERE TALKING?
YEAH, WE WERE
ALL TALKING.
YOU CAN'T
BE ON THE CHART
FOR TALKING.
I KNOW.
WOULD YOU LISTEN
TO MY STORY?
WE WERE TALKING,
AND AT THE END OF THE EVENING
WHEN WE WERE SAYING
OUR GOOD-BYES...
WE HAD A MOMENT.
A MOMENT?
A ROMANTIC MOMENT...
AND I HAVE TO SAY,
I'M NOT SURE
THAT I HAVEN'T
BEEN LIMITING MYSELF
IN BEING EXCLUSIVELY WITH MEN.
UM...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME
EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.
WE KISSED.
AT FIRST, IT WAS CASUAL,
BUT THEN IT BECAME...INTIMATE.
FRENCH.
BABY, ARE YOU OKAY?
[ RETCHING ]
HELLO?
DADDY, YOU'RE HERE!
[ LOUD RETCHING ]
NO, EVERYTHING'S JUST GREAT.
WHAT?
I WONDER WHAT
HE'S GOING TO SAY
WHEN WE TELL HIM?
HE IS GOING TO BE
SO EXCITED.
WHAT SHOULD WE TELL HIM
WHEN HE ASKS
ABOUT THE LAST NAME?
WHY DO WE HAVE
TO BRING IT UP?
WELL, I'M NOT SAYING
THAT WE SHOULD,
JUST, YOU KNOW, IF HE DOES.
IT JUST MIGHT
BE EASIER
TO USE
KENNARD-PORTER.
I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD
TELL HIM ANYTHING
THAT MIGHT NOT BE TRUE.
YOU KNOW HOW YOUR FATHER IS.
HOW IS HE?
I THINK WE SHOULD DO
SOME SORT OF
COMBO THING, YOU KNOW,
INSTEAD OF THE WHOLE
HYPHENATED THING.
WHAT, LIKE PORTARD?
BETTE...
"HEY, POOR TARD,
HOW'S YOUR TWO MOMS,
YOU BIG GAYMO,"
OR WHATEVER IT'S
GOING TO BE IN 2015.
OKAY, FINE,
WHAT ABOUT KENTER, THEN?
THAT HAS A NICE
SOUND TO IT,
DOESN'T IT?
YOU'RE RIGHT,
WE SHOULD JUST TRY
NOT TO TALK
ABOUT IT TONIGHT.
NICE, DANA.
MUCH BETTER.
THANK YOU.
I'M GOING TO HAVE ANDREW
COME BY THIS WEEK
AND TEST THE SPEED
OF THAT SERVE,
ALL RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT,
SOUNDS GOOD.
THANK YOU.
I'LL SEE YOU
IN A BIT, OKAY?
GOOD STUFF.
HI.
HEY...
HOW ARE YOU?
MM...
SO MY SERVE
IS FASTER.
COOL.
YEAH.
SO WHO'S THE SEXIEST
TENNIS PLAYER
IN THE WORLD?
ANNA KOURNIKOVA?
HEY!
HEY.
SO GUESS WHO'S HAVING
AN EVENT TONIGHT
AND WANTS YOU
TO COME?
SUBARU?
WHO ARE YOU, HER PSYCHIC?
[ LAUGHS ]
YEAH, SO SUBARU'S
HOSTING A DINNER.
IT'S SOME KIND OF CHARITY EVENT
TO SUPPORT THE ARTS
IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS,
AND IT'S GOING
TO BE TEEMING
WITH THE WHO'S WHO.
HOW HOT IS THAT?
THAT'S VERY HOT.
SEE HOW
YOU'RE A STAR?
SO WHERE IS IT?
MORTON'S, 8:00.
I'M SO EXCITED.
IT'S GOING TO BE
SO GREAT.
YOU ARE SO
FUCKING HOT.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE SEX
WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.
ALL RIGHT.
STILL HERE, LADIES.
SORRY.
YEAH.
NO, DON'T APOLOGIZE.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF YOU EVER WANT TO MIX IT UP,
LET ME KNOW.
I'M KIDDING.
I'M JUST KIDDING.
I'M GOING TO GET
BACK TO WORK.
I WILL SEE
YOU LATER.
OKAY.
IT WAS NICE
MEETING YOU.
I THINK.
IT WAS A JOKE,
JUST A JOKE.
SHE'S CUTE.
REALLY CUTE.
SO ABOUT TONIGHT,
I THINK YOU SHOULD
BRING HARRISON.
HE'S YOUR DOUBLES PARTNER.
IT'S WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO SEE.
DANA...
YOU WANT TO CALL HIM,
OR SHOULD I?
I MEAN, I'D REALLY LOVE TO SAY
THAT IT'S NOT TRUE, BUT...
OH, MY GOD.
AW, SHIT, I DON'T KNOW, MAN,
YOUR MOM...
ALL I KNOW IS
I WAS SAYING GOOD-BYE,
AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW,
SHE JUST...
FUCK.
I DON'T KNOW, AL,
I THINK MAYBE THOSE DRINKS
WERE A LITTLE STRONG.
OH...
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
THIS MEANS I CAN NEVER
BE GAY AGAIN. NEVER.
I CANNOT BE GAY.
AL, COME ON, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
YOU MOM IS REALLY SEXY
FOR AN OLDER WOMAN.
OH.
SHE IS...
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHE'S GOT REALLY...
SHE CAME ON TO YOU?
SHIT, SHE'S WILD, AL.
OH, OKAY, PLEASE
WITH THE DETAILS!
GOD, WHY IS MY MOM
SUCH A SLUTTY, SLUTTY,
CHICKEN-CHASING PERVERT?
I MEAN, GOD,
YOU KNOW,
NOT TO MENTION
A LIAR,
BECAUSE SHE SAID
YOU CAME ON TO HER,
AND SHE WAS JUST BEING POLITE.
SHE'S WILD.
YEAH, WELL, YOU CAN SAY
YOUR GOOD-BYES,
BECAUSE SHE IS GOING BACK
TO NELSON'S.
I AM NOT DRIVING HER
TO PALM SPRINGS.
THEY CAN DO THAT.
SHE PUT HER NAME
ON THE CHART.
DO YOU KNOW THAT?
I MEAN, WHAT IS THAT?
I MEAN, WHO--
WHERE'D SHE COME FROM?
OKAY, THERE'S TWO GUYS
STARING AT YOU,
AND I THINK ONE OF THEM
IS HARRY SAMCHUCK.
FUCK.
HE THINKS I'M A GUY.
ALL THOSE FUCKING GAY
HOLLYWOOD MAFIA FAGS
THINK I'M SOME TWINK
THEY CAN PICK UP ON.
ALL RIGHT,
I'M OUT OF HERE.
HEY, HEY...
I'M REALLY SORRY
YOU GOT LENORE'D.
IT'S ALL RIGHT,
DON'T WORRY.
IT HAPPENS.
I'LL SEE YOU, HONEY.
CAN I SEE THE ONE JUST--
NO, THE THIRD ONE IN.
NO, NEXT TO THAT ONE.
NO.
JESUS CHRIST.
JUST GIVE HIM
WHICHEVER ONE'S ON TOP.
WHERE THE HELL
HAVE YOU BEEN?
SAN DIEGO.
YEAH? WITH YOUR MOM?
YEAH, I NEEDED
A BREAK.
L.A. WAS GETTING
ALL BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
WHAT, THAT'S YOUR FRIEND NOW?
YEAH, I MET HIM.
YOU KNOW.
YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE,
YOU KNOW THAT?
YOU'RE A DICK.
CALL ME.
TAKE CARE.
SHANE...
WHAT?
I NEED A FAVOR.
AW, FUCK. CLIVE...
I CAN'T DO IT.
I DON'T HAVE THE ROOM THIS TIME.
PLEASE? IT'S JUST
FOR A COUPLE DAYS.
JESUS, MAN,
I GOT ROOMMATES,
AND THEY'RE GOING TO FREAK OUT.
THERE'S FOUR OF US
LIVING IN ONE BEDROOM.
I MEAN, WHAT,
YOU CAN'T STAY
WITH SOMEONE ELSE?
NO, I'VE MADE SOME CALLS,
BUT, YOU KNOW,
NO ONE'S CALLED ME BACK.
DAMMIT, I CA--
I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T DO IT THIS TIME.
IT'S COOL.
YEAH?
YEAH, OF COURSE.
GREAT.
WILL YOU CALL ME, THOUGH?
YEAH.
OF COURSE.
PLEASE?
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
BYE, DARLING.
MR. SAMCHUCK...
CLIVE, HAVE YOU MET MARK?
TRISH PEVERELL?
I CAN'T SEEM TO...
GET ON THE BUS.
YOU ARE SO FUCKING NERVOUS, MAN.
I KNOW.
I DON'T EVEN
HAVE TO BOTHER
LOOKING AT YOU.
I KNOW, MAN.
I'VE GOT TO TRY TO CALM DOWN.
I MEAN, WE'RE IN
A GOOD POSITION, RIGHT?
LOOK, MAN, I DON'T EVEN WANT
TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID
TO GET TRISH IN THIS,
BUT I THANK YOU.
NO PROBLEM. SERIOUSLY.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS.
LET'S WIN IT.
ALL RIGHT.
FUCK...
RANDY...
FUCK.
RANDY!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I FORGOT MY STOPWATCH.
HEY, MAN, THERE'S NO WAY
YOU'RE LEAVING NOW, MAN.
OH, I'VE GOT TO.
WE'RE NOT GOING TO WIN
WITHOUT IT,
AND DON'T CALL ME
SUPERSTITIOUS EITHER,
BECAUSE I KNOW
YOU HAVE YOUR
GARFIELD BOXERS ON.
ABSOLUTELY.
OKAY, LOOK,
DON'T BE LATE, MAN.
SHIT. I'LL PROBABLY
BE THERE BEFORE YOU.
WHAT'S UP?
I THINK IT HAS
AMAZING POTENTIAL.
POTENTIAL?
WELL, IT'S A DRAFT,
RIGHT?
YES.
WELL, YOU CAN'T EXPECT
EVERY STORY YOU WRITE
TO FALL OUT OF YOU
AND BE GOLD.
WRITING IS REWRITING.
UH-HUH.
IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU
LESS TALENTED.
RIGHT.
YOUR STRENGTH IS
YOU WRITE FROM HERE.
THE DEMONS
THAT TEMPT YOU,
THAT YOU
STRUGGLE WITH...
AM I THAT DEMON?
UGH.
[ DOORBELL RINGING ]
[ GASPS ]
OH, GIRL,
YOU SCARED ME.
GUESS WHAT I GOT FOR YOU,
MOMMY.
CHECK IT OUT.
VITAMINS FOR WOMEN.
EVERYTHING THAT
YOU DON'T GET
EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE
A GOOD DIET.
IT'S GOING TO BE SO GOOD
FOR YOU AND THE BABY.
YOU'RE SO GOOD TO ME.
I--I--I WANTED
TO BRING YOU SOMETHING.
HEY, THAT'S A CUTE DRESS.
YOU THINK?
I THINK IT MAKES ME LOOK FAT,
AND I BET IT'LL TAKE MELVIN
FIVE MINUTES TO SAY IT.
UM, MELVIN?
MY FATHER?
HE'S HERE IN LOS ANGELES?
YEAH, HE'S--
HE'S JUST SORT OF IN AND OUT,
SOME SORT
OF BUSINESS THING.
BETTE MADE HIM
SQUEEZE US IN.
SHE REALLY WANTS TO TELL HIM
ABOUT THE BABY IN PERSON.
SOUNDS LIKE IT'LL WORK OUT
REALLY NICE FOR YOU.
YEAH, IT SAVES US
THE TRIP.
HELLO!
JEN, YOU HOME?
JENNY?
OH, FUCK.
OH!
OH, YEAH.
WAIT. RIGHT THERE. YEAH.
OH, YEAH.
[ MOANING ]
FUCK.
[ MOANING ]
TINA...
TINA, WAKE UP.
OH, HEY, BABY.
WE HAVE TO
PICK UP MY DAD
IN HALF AN HOUR.
OH, OKAY.
ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS PUT ON
MY MAKEUP.
YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS.
YOU--
YOU'RE NOT WEARING THAT DRESS.
YOU KNOW, I'LL JUST
PICK SOMETHING ELSE OUT.
CAN YOU AT LEAST JUST
TAKE THE TAGS OFF THE PRESENT?
WHY DID YOU
CALL ME EARLIER?
I DIDN'T.
WELL, MY CELL SHOWED
OUR HOME NUMBER.
OH...
IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN KIT.
SHE DROPPED BY EARLIER.
SHE BROUGHT US
VITAMINS.
YOU DIDN'T TELL HER
DADDY WAS IN TOWN, DID YOU?
TINA, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
I MEAN, FIRST DAVID
WRITES HER A NOTE ON A POST-IT,
AND THEN OUR DAD'S IN TOWN,
AND HE DOESN'T EVEN BOTHER
TO CALL HER.
THESE ARE JUST
THE KINDS OF THINGS
THAT MAKE IT HARD FOR HER
TO STAY SOBER.
WELL, I'M SORRY,
BUT YOU DIDN'T BRIEF ME
ON WHAT WAS ALL RIGHT TO SAY
AND WHAT WASN'T.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO.
DO YOU SEE ME?
DADDY, IT'S THE BLUE SAAB.
LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD.
DO YOU SEE ME?
I CAN SEE YOU.
TINA'S IN THE PASSENGER SEAT
RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
SHE'LL GET OUT RIGHT NOW.
YEAH, SHE'LL WAVE.
WAVE.
WAVE WHEN YOU GET OUT.
YOU SEE HER?
SEE?
GO AHEAD. WAVE.
YEAH, THAT'S HER.
[ LAUGHS ]
HI!
HELLO.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HELLO.
HI.
UH-HUH.
THIS IS FROM BETTE.
FROM BETTE?
AH, NOW.
WHAT CAN THIS BE?
OH, NO,
DON'T TELL ME.
IT IS A TIE.
I THOUGHT THE COLOR
WOULD LOOK GOOD ON YOU.
'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT
THE EYE.
LOOK AT THAT.
BEAUTIFUL.
I HOPE
YOU'RE HUNGRY.
CAN YOU JUST
MOVE OVER?
I CAN'T SEE.
THANKS, TINA.
OH, WELL...
THAT'S WHAT
WE HAVE IN MIND.
HEY, DON'T TAKE IT
SO HARD.
WE ONLY LOST
BY A 10-POINT MARGIN.
YOU DID A GREAT JOB
TODAY. THANKS.
TIM!
TIM, I'M SORRY.
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
I'M SORRY. PLEASE.
PLEASE, DON'T SHUT ME OUT.
PLEASE, WHAT, JENNY, HUH?
WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH PLEASE?
JUST GIVE ME MY RING.
NO, I'M NOT GIVING YOU
YOUR RING.
I'M NOT GIVING YOU
YOUR RING.
IF YOU WANT THE RING,
TAKE IT OFF OF ME.
I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOD,
GIVE ME MY RING!
COME ON, HEY, HEY!
COME ON.
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I'M FINE.
WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON?
RANDY, JUST LEAVE US ALONE,
ALL RIGHT?
THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
LISTEN, YOU WANT TO START
BEATING ON YOUR WOMAN
IN FRONT OF ME
AND THE WHOLE TEAM,
THAT IS MY BUSINESS.
I WAS NOT
BEATING ON HER.
LEAVE US ALONE,
THAT'S ALL
I NEED FROM YOU.
I'M FINE.
[ SIGHS ]
LISTEN, DON'T DISAPPOINT ME,
MAN, ALL RIGHT?
YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
I WON'T, ALL RIGHT?
THIS IS JUST BETWEEN US.
[ BUS ENGINE STARTS ]
TIM, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND
THAT THIS WAS A BIG MISTAKE.
IT WAS LIKE WATCHING YOURSELF
AND SEEING YOURSELF
DO SOMETHING TERRIBLE
AND NOT BEING ABLE
TO STOP IT.
WHY?
WHY COULDN'T YOU STOP IT?
WHY WAS IT SO FUCKING HARD?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHEN DID IT START?
THAT WAS
THE FIRST TIME,
THE ONLY TIME,
AND WE DIDN'T EVEN TALK.
SO YOU WENT FROM NOT TALKING
TO LETTING HER EAT YOU OUT,
IS THAT IT?
PLEASE DON'T
SAY THAT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING.
I THOUGHT
I WOULD SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE
WITH YOU.
WELL, WHY CAN'T WE?
BECAUSE YOU FUCKED IT ALL UP,
JENNY.
I KNOW, BUT I'M BEGGING YOU
TO FORGIVE ME.
GOD...
I MEAN--
YOU TWO MUST HAVE JUST BEEN
LAUGHING AT ME THE WHOLE TIME.
NO, NO, NO.
NOBODY WAS LAUGHING AT YOU.
I WAS JUST THIS THING
THAT HAPPENED,
AND IT WASN'T PLANNED.
YOU KNOW WHAT KILLS ME?
I WAS STANDING THERE
WATCHING YOU TWO...
TIM...
TIM, PLEASE.
PLEASE, PLEASE, TIM.
PLEASE, PLEASE,
PLEASE...
PLEASE, TIM.
PLEASE, THIS
DOESN'T HAVE TO--
IF YOU CAN JUST
FORGIVE ME, TIM.
PLEASE, IT DOESN'T
HAVE TO END.
WE CAN JUST KEEP ON GOING
AS WE PLANNED,
AND NOTHING HAS TO CHANGE,
RIGHT?
TIM, PLEASE, PLEASE,
DON'T LEAVE ME.
BECAUSE IF
YOU LEAVE ME,
I THINK THAT
I'LL DIE.
TIM, PLEASE LOOK AT ME.
I LOVE YOU...
AND I JUST WANT TO BE YOUR WIFE.
YOU WANT TO BE MY WIFE?
YES.
MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE.
GET IN THE CAR.
[ ENGINE STARTS ]
[ BLENDER WHIRRING ]
[ EARRING CLATTERS ]
[ LOUNGE MUSIC ]
SO I MADE THESE
WITH VODKA AND WHEY PROTEIN.
THERE WAS SOME KIND
OF CHEMICAL REACTION,
BUT THE SOY PROTEIN
IS REALLY GREAT.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
IT'S OPEN!
[ LARA ]: IT'S ME.
UH-OH.
GOD, YOU LOOK GREAT!
OKAY, I NEED HELP.
I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT YOU WERE WEARING,
AND I DIDN'T WANT TO END UP
LOOKING LIKE TWINS.
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE SAYING,
"WOW, I'M SO CUTE,
I WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME."
OH, HI!
HI.
I'M GOING
TO FRESHEN MY DRINK.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I ASSUMED I WAS GOING WITH YOU.
I FEEL SO STUPID.
LARA, LARA,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, LOOK.
LOOK, CONRAD WAS THE ONE
WHO CALLED HARRISON, OKAY?
HE JUST THINKS THAT IT'S BETTER
FOR ME NOT TO...
HE JUST...
HE JUST WANTS ME
TO BE CONSISTENT,
AND HARRISON'S
WHO I USUALLY GO WITH,
AND YOU KNOW
THAT I REALLY WANT
TO GO WITH YOU--
I GET IT,
BELIEVE ME.
LARA, I'M SORRY!
LOOK, I KNOW
I SHOULD HAVE CALLED.
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE.
YOU DID
THE RIGHT THING.
SHE'S GOT TO UNDERSTAND
IT'S NOT PERSONAL,
IT'S BUSINESS.
OUT AND PROUD
DOES NOT SELL CARS.
TIM, WE DON'T
HAVE TO DO THIS.
I NEED TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING.
LET'S GO TO MY OFFICE--
NO.
SHE CAN SAY WHAT SHE NEEDS
TO SAY RIGHT HERE.
TELL HER.
WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN US
WAS A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
IT IS NEVER GOING
TO HAPPEN AGAIN.
I WILL NEVER SEE YOU EVER AGAIN.
DO YOU
UNDERSTAND THAT?
DID YOU HEAR WHAT SHE SAID?
OF COURSE I DID.
TELL ME WHEN IT STARTED.
IT DIDN'T.
YOU SAW ALL THERE WAS TO SEE,
THE BEGINNING AND THE END.
LET'S GO.
JENNY...
YES, I'M COMING.
[ UPBEAT MUSIC ]
SO THIS MORNING
AFTER YOU LEFT,
HARRY ASKED ME
ALL ABOUT YOU,
AND I TOLD HIM YOU DID
PINK'S FAUX HAWK
FOR HER
BITTER PILL VIDEO,
AND HE FUCKING
CREAMED!
YEAH?
YEAH, HE SAYS HE WANTS
TO RECOMMEND YOU
TO ALL HIS FRIENDS.
[ SIGHS ]
THAT'S FABULOUS.
HOW MUCH DO I OWE HIM?
WHAT? EW.
GOD, NO, NO.
HE JUST WANTS
TO HANG OUT SOMETIME.
CLIVE...
I'M NOT HANGING OUT
WITH HIM.
HE THINKS I'M A GUY.
I'M NOT INTO THAT.
YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT.
SINCE WHEN?
SINCE I FOUND
A REAL JOB.
HEY, GOOD FOR YOU,
YOU FOUND A PLACE.
YEAH, I'M STAYING
WITH HARRY.
FUCK.
FUCK, CLIVE, NO, YOU'RE NOT.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
WE MADE A PROMISE
TO EACH OTHER
THAT WE'RE
OUT OF THAT.
I'M NOT GOING BACK
ON THE STREET, SHANE.
I'M GOING TO
A $30 MILLION MANSION
IN BEL AIR.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE
THE LATEST BOY TOY
TO A BUNCH
OF HOLLYWOOD FAGS
WHO ARE GOING
TO PASS YOU AROUND
AND SUCK YOU DRY.
THEY'RE VAMPIRES, MAN,
AND YOU SHOULD
KNOW THAT.
I DON'T EXACTLY
HAVE A CHOICE, DO I?
OH, GOD.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT,
ONE WEEK.
ONE WEEK, AND THAT'S IT,
AND IF YOU MESS UP,
IF YOU FUCK AROUND,
YOU'RE OUT.
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU.
[ CAR HONKING ]
MOM?
NELSON'S OUTSIDE.
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE
I'M BEING BANISHED?
I SAID I WAS SORRY.
YOU'RE NOT
BEING BANISHED.
I JUST NEED
MY PLACE BACK.
I WORK HERE.
[ HONKING ]
YOU SEE
HOW YOUR BROTHER IS?
I FEEL LIKE ONE
OF THOSE FAST GIRLS
IN HIGH SCHOOL
WHOSE BOYFRIENDS
CAN'T EVEN BOTHER
TO COME
TO THE DOOR.
I'M GOING TO HELP YOU.
IT'S JUST
HE'S GOT THE KIDS IN THE CAR.
AW, ALICE, PLEASE,
PROMISE ME...
I'LL REMIND THEM.
CALL YOU BUNNY, NOT GRANDMA.
[ HONKING ]
MOM...
YOU KNOW HOW I HAD
THAT TALK WITH SHANE
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED?
YEAH?
[ SIGHS ]
SHE SAID SHE THINKS
YOU'RE WILD.
REALLY?
WELL, I HATE
TO HURT HER FEELINGS,
BUT I'M AFRAID
IT CAN'T GO ANY FARTHER.
YOU'LL TALK TO HER FOR ME,
WON'T YOU, ALICE?
YEAH.
I'LL TALK TO HER.
AND THEN, DADDY,
MOCA HAD THE SHOW,
BUT I JUST WOULDN'T GIVE UP.
YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?
I WENT TO GO SEE
PEGGY PEABODY MYSELF.
INCREDIBLE.
[ LAUGHS ]
WHAT DO I ALWAYS TELL YOU?
YOU ARE MY CHILD.
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING
YOU SET YOUR MIND TO.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY GIRL?
OH...
I THINK
SHE'S AMAZING.
I THINK THE SHOW'S
GOING TO BE INCREDIBLE.
AND HOW IS YOUR CAREER
SHAPING UP, MISS KENNARD?
I DON'T HAVE MUCH
OF ONE AT THE MOMENT.
I LEFT THE STUDIO
ABOUT SEVEN MONTHS AGO.
WELL, THE THING
IS, DADDY,
TINA IS DOING
SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL,
SOMETHING
FOR THE BOTH OF US.
HI. CAN I START ANYONE OFF
WITH A DRINK THIS EVENING?
BETTE?
OH, I THINK
WE'LL HAVE
A LARGE BOTTLE
OF PELLEGRINO.
A MANHATTAN, SIR.
I'LL GET THOSE
RIGHT AWAY.
I'LL BE BACK
TO TAKE YOUR ORDER
IN A FEW
MINUTES.
THANK YOU.
UM...
TINA, WOULD YOU
LIKE TO TELL HIM?
UM, OKAY.
UH, MELVIN, BETTE AND I
ARE HAVING A BABY.
DADDY, WE'RE
HAVING A BABY.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I'M PREGNANT.
AND YOU'RE HAPPY ABOUT THAT?
OF COURSE.
DADDY...
I'M SORRY. I'M NOT FAMILIAR
WITH THE PROPER RESPONSE.
WELL, UM...
THIS IS SOMETHING
THAT WE'VE BEEN
TRYING TO DO
FOR A VERY
LONG TIME.
WE WANT THIS
VERY MUCH.
I WAS UNAWARE OF THAT.
WELL, HOW DO YOU
FEEL ABOUT IT?
I'M NOT SURE.
THIS CHILD...
YOU GOING TO BE...
TAKING CARE OF IT,
AND MISS KENNARD?
DAD,
WE'RE A COUPLE.
WE ARE STARTING A FAMILY.
IF THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY...
WELL, DOESN'T IT
MAKE YOU HAPPY?
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
ANOTHER GRANDCHILD.
THAT IS BIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
UNLESS THERE'S BEEN
A MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH
THAT I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT,
THE POSSIBILITY
THAT THIS CHILD
WILL BE MY GRANDCHILD
DOES NOT EXIST.
THEREFORE,
I AM HAPPY
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT
IN YOUR FRIENDSHIP
WITH MISS KENNARD,
BUT I CAN'T
REALISTICALLY BE ASKED
TO PARTICIPATE
IN THIS FICTION
OF YOUR CREATION.
CAN I TELL YOU
ABOUT TONIGHT'S SPECIALS?
WE HAVE CHILEAN SEA BASS
WITH WILTED SPINACH,
A RISOTTO
WITH PROSCIUTTO HAM
AND SHIITAKE
MUSHROOMS.
COULD YOU JUST GIVE US
JUST A MINUTE, PLEASE?
OF COURSE.
BETTE AND I HAVE
GONE THROUGH SO MUCH
TO GET HERE.
WE'VE TALKED ABOUT HOW OUR CHILD
COULD TRULY REFLECT WHO WE ARE,
WHEN WE'RE SO LIMITED
BY BIOLOGY.
THAT'S WHY
WE DECIDED TO USE
AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN DONOR.
SO WHEN WE LOOK AT OUR CHILD,
AND YOU LOOK AT YOUR GRANDCHILD,
WE'LL ALL BE LOOKING
INTO A FAMILIAL FACE.
A BLACK MAN
IS THE FATHER OF THIS CHILD?
THE DONOR, DAD.
HE'S AN AFRICAN-
AMERICAN ARTIST.
AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN...
AND BECAUSE OF THAT
I'M SUPPOSED TO FEEL CLOSER
TO THIS CHILD?
BECAUSE ALL
OF US BLACKS
ARE SOMEHOW
CONNECTED?
WE CAN BE
TRACED BACK
TO SOME TRIBE
IN AFRICA
WHERE WE WERE BEATING DRUMS?
THAT IS ABSURD.
YOU ARE AN IVY-LEAGUE-EDUCATED
WOMAN.
HOW IS THIS LOGICAL--
DAD...
JUST TO TELL YOU
THE REST OF THE SPECIALS...
WE ALSO HAVE A SALT-CRUSTED COD
AND THAT COMES
WITH LOVELY RASPBERRY-INFUSED
ARTICHOKE HEARTS
AND A LIGHT
LEMON VINAIGRETTE.
WOULD ANYONE
LIKE TO START?
I'M SORRY,
I DON'T FEEL SO WELL.
DO YOU HAVE TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM?
NO, I THINK I'M JUST
GOING TO GO HOME.
WELL, THEN I'LL--
I'LL TAKE YOU.
NO, STAY.
IT WAS REALLY NICE
SEEING YOU AGAIN, MELVIN.
I'M SORRY
YOU'RE NOT FEELING WELL.
I'LL HAVE BETTE BACK TO YOU
IN NO TIME.
I AM GOING TO HAVE...
THE SEA BASS.
YOO-HOO!
HEY, THERE, LOVEBIRDS.
COME THIS WAY.
JERRY, GET UP.
NOW, YOU'VE BOTH GIVEN THIS
A LOT OF THOUGHT?
UH, YES.
YOU'RE SURE?
UH-HUH.
WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN
TO SCARE YOU.
YOU DIDN'T RUN AWAY
OR ANYTHING, DID YOU?
NO.
YOU'RE PREGNANT?
MM-MMM.
IN LOVE?
YES.
GOOD.
I LIKE TO MAKE SURE.
NOW, THIS IS MY HUSBAND, JERRY.
HE WILL BE YOUR WITNESS.
HI.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU GUYS
BEEN MARRIED?
UH, WHAT IS IT, 32 YEARS?
IN MARCH.
SEE, IT'S GOOD TO BE SURE.
NOW, YOU WILL STAND OVER HERE,
AND YOU'LL STAND HERE,
AND REMEMBER,
THIS IS THE BEGINNING
OF THE REST OF YOUR LIVES,
SO WHY DON'T YOU BOTH KISS?
I THINK THAT'S A GOOD WAY
TO START OUT.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
OKAY.
OKAY, WELL, LET'S START.
CHECKOUT'S
AT 12:00,
AND IF YOU WANT
A DECENT BREAKFAST,
DON'T GO ACROSS THE STREET.
YOU CAN DRIVE UP 90
ONE MILE
AND GO TO
THE PANCAKE HOUSE.
IT'S ON THE LEFT.
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
THANK YOU.
UH...
A TOAST?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YES.
UM, GLASSES?
OH, SHOULD I GO
GET SOME?
NO, ALLOW ME,
PLEASE.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, STAND BACK
FOR THIS ONE.
I'M NOT AFRAID.
[ CORK POPS ]
VERY SMOOTH.
OKAY, I PROPOSE
A TOAST...
OKAY? UH!
TO MR. AND MRS. HASPEL.
OH...
THAT MINISTER
WAS PRETTY GREAT,
WASN'T SHE?
WHY?
BECAUSE SHE WAS
A WOMAN?
NO.
UH...
COULD YOU JUST...
UH, TAKE A SHOWER
OR SOMETHING?
PLEASE.
YEAH.
EXCUSE ME. I'M SORRY.
[ KNOCKING ]
COME IN.
SO HOW WAS
THE PARTY?
I KNOW YOU HATE ME
RIGHT NOW,
AND I DON'T
BLAME YOU.
I SHOULD
HAVE CALLED.
I KNOW.
I ALWAYS
MESS THINGS UP.
DID I MESS
EVERYTHING UP?
I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST THAT...
YOU JUST--YOU
MAKE ME SO HAPPY,
AND THAT'S NOT A VERY
FAMILIAR FEELING,
YOU KNOW?
CAN I PLEASE
TRY AGAIN?
I REALLY WANT
TO TRY AGAIN.
CAN I?
ONE THING.
ANYTHING.
YOU HAVE TO START TAKING
AT LEAST SOME STEPS
TOWARDS BEING OUT.
I WILL.
BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING
TO BE MISERABLE
BEING IN THE CLOSET.
I KNOW.
AND YOU ARE REALLY,
REALLY GAY.
I KNOW THAT.
IT'S ONE OF THE THINGS
THAT I LIKE SO MUCH
ABOUT YOU.
WHEN YOU HIDE THAT,
YOU'RE HIDING
THE BEST PART.
[ R&B MUSIC ]
[ INDISTINCT CHATTER ]
HEY, LITTLE SISTER.
ROGER INVITED THE BAND OVER.
YOU KNOW,
THEY HAVE THE NIGHT OFF.
WHAT WE HAVE HERE--
THE ROGER
SUPREME SPECIAL.
YOU WANT SOME OF THIS,
LITTLE SISTER?
NO, THANKS, I'M GOOD.
ALL THE MORE
FOR ME. MM, MM.
BABY, CAN YOU EAT THAT
OUT THERE,
OR BETTER YET,
EAT THAT IN THE BEDROOM,
SO NOBODY SEES YOU,
SO I DON'T HAVE TO
MAKE ANOTHER ONE, OKAY,
AND THANK YOU
FOR MINE, OKAY?
YOU'RE MY BABY,
YOU KNOW THAT.
YEAH, YEAH.
WHAT'S UP?
I SAW DAD TONIGHT.
I'M SORRY I DIDN'T
TELL YOU, I JUST--
HEY, IT'S NOT LIKE WE TALK
OR ANYTHING, YOU KNOW.
IT'S COOL. IT'S COOL.
SO WHAT HAPPENED?
IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.
HE WAS SO...HORRIBLE.
I MEAN--AND HE'S NEVER BEEN
THAT WAY WITH ME.
YOU KNOW, I TOLD HIM
ABOUT THE BABY,
AND BASICALLY, HE SAID
THAT HE WOULD NEVER CONSIDER
THE BABY TO BE HIS GRANDCHILD.
BETTE...
BETTE, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
HE'S AN OLD-FASHIONED MAN,
A BIGOT IN HIS OWN RIGHT.
SOMEONE'S GOT TO TALK
SOME SENSE INTO YOU
ABOUT THAT MAN,
BECAUSE HE IS NOT THE SAINT
YOU THINK HE IS--
KIT--
OH, GIRL, COME ON,
YOU NEVER WANT
TO HEAR THE TRUTH.
YOU ARE
SO BRAINWASHED.
WHAT DO YOU TRADE
TO FEEL HIS PRIDE, HMM?
I HAVE TO GO.
YEAH, YOU DO.
MM-HMM.
[ FOREBODING MUSIC ]
WHAT IS IT?
DAD, IT'S ME, KATIE.
IF YOU WANT TO SEE ME,
WE COULD ARRANGE A MEETING
AT A MORE APPROPRIATE HOUR.
I FIGURED YOU WERE UP
DOING YOUR 5:00 AM SIT-UPS.
SO I WAS.
THAT'S A LOT OF YEARS
WITHOUT CHANGING.
IT APPEARS TO BE MUTUAL.
IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME,
HASN'T IT?
WELL, YES.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, ISN'T IT?
THESE ARE THE CONSEQUENCES
OF YOUR ACTIONS.
I'M NOT HERE
TO TALK ABOUT ME, DAD.
I'M HERE FOR BETTE.
SHE SENT YOU HERE?
NO...
I CAME ON MY OWN.
SHE SHOWED UP AT MY APARTMENT,
UPSET OVER WHAT HAPPENED
BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU.
DO YOU KNOW THE SITUATION?
I'M SUPPOSED TO CALL A CHILD
NOT EVEN RELATED TO ME
A GRANDCHILD.
AND WOULD THAT BE
THE END OF THE WORLD?
NO, IT WOULD BE A LIE.
OH, AND YOU DON'T EVER DO THAT,
DO YOU?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
SHE EXPECTED FROM YOU,
AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHO SHE THINKS YOU ARE.
IF WHAT YOU HAVE IN MIND
IS TO EXPLOIT THE SITUATION
WITH YOUR SISTER
SO THAT YOU CAN
COME UP HERE
AND INSULT ME,
I WILL NOT ALLOW IT,
AND IF YOU HAD LIVED
SOME KIND OF LIFE OF DECENCY
AND RESPECTABILITY,
THEN, POSSIBLY,
I WOULD BE YOUR AUDIENCE,
BUT NOT NOW--
YOU SHOULD
BE CAREFUL
NOT TO TAKE YOUR ANGER
AND BITTERNESS
OVER WHAT HAPPENED
BETWEEN YOU AND ME
OUT ON BETTE.
SHE'S BEEN
HURT ENOUGH BY THAT.
ALL SHE WANTS
IS YOUR BLESSING.
WHY WOULD YOU DENY HER THAT?
FOR BIOLOGY?
DON'T TURN BETTE
AWAY FROM YOU
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T
FIND IT IN YOURSELF
TO ACCEPT HER SITUATION.
SHE THINKS
THE WORLD OF YOU.
YOU REJECT HER AND TINA'S CHILD,
AND THAT'S JUST
WHAT YOU'LL BE DOING.
DO YOU REALLY
WANT TO DO THAT?
OPEN YOUR DOOR 13 YEARS LATER,
AND SEE YOUR DAUGHTER'S FACE,
OLDER AND A STRANGER'S?
I GOT DAVID'S NOTE.
I KNOW YOU MADE HIM WRITE ME.
HMM, ONLY A SUGGESTION.
I THOUGHT IT MIGHT HELP
KEEP YOU ON TRACK.
WOULD YOU GIVE HIM THIS?
HIS RETURN ADDRESS
ON THE ENVELOPE
WAS SOME OFFICE AT THE SCHOOL.
[ ROCK MUSIC ]
[ SIRENS ]
WHERE'S THE FIRE?
YOU BEEN DRINKING?
I HAD A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE
TO CELEBRATE
AFTER I GOT MARRIED.
YOU GOT MARRIED?
EARLIER, IN TAHOE.
WHERE'S YOUR WIFE?
I LEFT HER IN THE MOTEL ROOM.
DO YOU MIND
STEPPING OUT OF THE CAR, PLEASE?
EARLIER TODAY I CAUGHT MY WIFE--
MY--MY FIANCEE...
I WALKED IN ON HER
CHEATING ON ME.
BUT YOU MARRIED HER?
WHAT'S GOING THROUGH
YOUR HEAD, SON?
I DON'T KNOW.
SHE WAS THE ONE I THOUGHT I'D...
SPEND FOREVER WITH.
WELL...
DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE...
GOING BACK TO
WHERE YOU CAME FROM
TO KILL THE GUY?
IT WAS A WOMAN.
YOU EVER WATCH
PORNOGRAPHY?
UH...
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO ANSWER THAT.
WE ALL DO.
YOU KNOW, WE SPEND
OUR WHOLE LIVES
WATCHING PORN,
AND WE NEVER SEE
THE WARNING,
BUT THERE IT IS.
YOU KNOW THAT SCENE
WHERE TWO WOMEN
ARE GETTING IT ON,
THE GUY COMES IN,
HE'S ALL HARD, YOU KNOW,
HE'S GONNA
GIVE IT TO 'EM.
HE'S GONNA
FUCK 'EM GOOD.
WE THINK THAT'S WHAT
THOSE CHICKS WANT,
THE MEAT...
BUT YOU LOOK
CLOSELY NEXT TIME.
THAT'S NOT IT.
THEY'RE HAVIN'
A GOOD TIME WITHOUT HIM.
THEY'RE GOING DOWN
ON EACH OTHER,
YOU KNOW, THEY'RE...
THEY'RE UP IN THERE,
THEY'RE LICKING
EVERYTHING,
AND THE GUY
COMES IN,
HE'S READY
TO UNLOAD.
THAT'S NOT
WHAT THEY WANT.
THEY GOT THEIR
EYES SQUINTED UP,
LIKE SOMEONE'S GOING
TO POUR GASOLINE ON 'EM.
THERE'S YOUR WARNING.
THAT'S WHY
THIS COUNTRY'S HOMOSEXUALS
ARE SO DANGEROUS.
WHEN YOU GOT
TWO PEOPLE,
AND THEY GOT
THE SAME EQUIPMENT,
AND THEY BOTH
KNOW HOW TO TREAT IT,
HOW CAN ANYBODY
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
COMPETE WITH THAT?
THAT'S HOW
THEY GET YOU.
YOU, UH...
TRY TO DRIVE
THE SPEED LIMIT, OKAY?
I WILL.
TIM?
[ TRUCK HORN ]
♪ YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE ♪
♪ IT ALWAYS COMES UNDONE ♪
♪ EVERYBODY'S AWARE ♪
♪ OF THE FACT ♪
♪ WHAT WE SAY ♪
♪ HOW WE ACT ♪
♪ JUST LET DOWN YOUR GUARD
AND SEE ♪
♪ YOU'LL FIND OUT EVENTUALLY ♪
♪ HOW FAST TROUBLE
WILL COME TO YOU ♪
♪ NOTHING THAT YOU
CAN DO ♪
♪ MASSES OF PEOPLE ♪
♪ CRAZY AS HELL ♪
♪ DOING THE EVIL ♪
♪ THEY DO VERY WELL ♪
♪ WE WRING OUR HANDS ♪
♪ AND SAY IT'S A SHAME ♪
♪ BUT WHEN WE'RE ALONE ♪
♪ WE DO MUCH THE SAME ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T
TRUST ANYONE ♪
♪ IT ALWAYS COMES UNDONE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE ♪