[ ♪♪ ]
♪ MORE THAN YOU CAN KNOW ♪
♪ SO MUCH FURTHER TO GO ♪
♪ I CAN TAKE YOU PAST THE POINT
OF NO RETURN ♪
♪ YOU CAN NEVER EVER GUESS ♪
♪ THE BORDERS
OF MY WILLINGNESS ♪
♪ TO GIVE YOU LOVE
YOU'VE GOT SO MUCH TO LEARN ♪
[ ♪♪ ]
♪ OOH ♪
♪ YOU'VE GOT SO MUCH TO LEARN ♪
♪ SO MUCH TO LEARN ♪
♪ OOH ♪
♪ YOU'VE GOT SO MUCH
TO LEARN ♪
♪ SO MUCH TO LEARN ♪
[ CHUCKLES ]
BETTE, COME HERE!
WHAT?
YOU'RE OVULATING.
I'M OVULATING.
LET'S MAKE A BABY.
WHY DON'T YOU
GET DRESSED?
AND I'LL DROP YOU OFF
ON MY WAY TO WORK.
♪ HOW FAR CAN YOU GO ♪
♪ WHEN YOUR GAUGE IS
READING LOW ♪
♪ YOU NEED SOMETHING POWERFUL
THAT YOU CAN BURN ♪
♪ I CAN GET YOU
WHAT YOU NEED ♪
♪ JUST LET ME
DO THE DEED ♪
HEY, TIM.
GOOD LUCK.
BYE. THANKS.
AH! I AM SO READY.
IT'S COMING.
THANK YOU.
HI, SHANE.
SHE DOESN'T TALK
TO ANYONE
BEFORE HER MORNING SHOT.
HERE, YOU GO,
DON JUAN.
SHE'S A KID.
A KID.
WHATEVER.
IT'S FINE.
I MEAN,
DON'T FREAK OUT.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, LATER, GUYS.
BYE!
BYE, LISA.
SEE YOU, SHANE.
WHOA, YOU'RE NOT
LEAVING ALREADY?
YEAH, I GOT
A 9:00, GUYS. SEE YOU.
SEE YOU.
HI.
GOOD MORNING.
I'LL MEET YOU
AT THE DOCTOR'S.
HEY, WHAT TIME ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO BE AT WHAT'S-HIS-NAME'S?
11:00.
OKAY.
BYE, GUYS.
OH, MY GOD,
IS IT HAPPENING TODAY?
IS WHAT TODAY?
THE INSEMINATION.
OH. MM...
SO YOU'RE DOING IT AT
THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE THIS TIME?
BUT FIRST,
DAN FOXWORTHY.
NO WAY.
WHO? WHY DON'T I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?
BECAUSE YOU DON'T READ.
AND WHAT ARE YOU,
THE INTELLECTUAL OF LIFE?
DAN FOXWORTHY IS, LIKE,
THE SUPER-EXCLUSIVE SHRINK
TO THE STARS.
HE WAS ON OUR LIST
OF L.A.'S BEST
SELF-IMPROVEMENT GURUS.
HOW DID YOU GET
THAT APPOINTMENT?
I JUST CALLED AND ASKED.
DON'T TELL BETTE
I TOLD YOU, OKAY?
BUT WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
I MEAN, YOU DON'T NEED A SHRINK.
WE'RE JUST CHECKING IN.
WE'RE ABOUT TO DO
THIS INCREDIBLY MAJOR THING.
BUT WAIT, YOU GUYS
HAVE THE BEST RELATIONSHIP
OF ANYBODY I KNOW,
GAY OR STRAIGHT.
I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE
WE'RE GOOD.
SORRY.
HI.
COULD I OFFER YOU
A RIDE?
I MISSED YOU
SO MUCH.
I MISSED YOU.
IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE?
THAT'S ALL I HAVE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE HERE.
COME ON.
SHE'S ALWAYS RUNNING LATE.
SHE HAD A BOARD MEETING,
THEN SHE HAD A MEETING
WITH AN ARTIST.
BETTE'S THE DIRECTOR
OF THE CALIFORNIA ART CENTER.
I SEE.
AND SHE'S PROBABLY GOING TO BE
REALLY STRESSED ABOUT TIME.
AFTER THIS,
WE HAVE TO GO GET SPERM.
WE'RE TRYING
TO HAVE A BABY,
AND OUR FRIEND
SEAN'S DONATING.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
SORRY I'M LATE.
JAMES, YEAH, I GOT
TO GO IN A MINUTE.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
THE ARTWORK IS
WAY TOO DELICATE,
IT'S BEING FLOWN IN
FROM PARIS,
AND ANNIE IS ALREADY A COMPLETE
AND TOTAL NERVOUS WRECK.
JUST CALL
ADAMS FINE ART MOVERS.
TELL THEM, IF THEY WANT TO DO
BUSINESS WITH C.A.C. AGAIN...
EXACTLY.
OKAY, GREAT. THANKS. BYE.
OKAY, HERE I AM.
SO...
WE ARE HEADING NORTH RIGHT NOW
TOWARDS THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS.
A LITTLE FURTHER TO THE RIGHT
IS THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN,
AND IF YOU KEEP GOING
ALL THE WAY IN THAT DIRECTION,
YOU HIT THE PACIFIC OCEAN.
OH, CAN WE GO?
YEAH, WHENEVER
YOU WANT...
AS OFTEN AS YOU WANT.
[ CARS HONKING ]
DO YOU WANT TO TELL ME
WHAT THE THINKING IS
BEHIND TRYING
TO HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER
WHEN YOUR SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP
HAS BEEN PRETTY SHITTY
FOR GOING ON
THREE YEARS?
IT'S NOT SHITTY.
IT MAY NOT
BE PERFECT--
THERE'S A LOT MORE
TO A RELATIONSHIP THAN SEX.
WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER
FOR SEVEN YEARS.
I KNOW PLENTY OF COUPLES
WHO STILL HAVE SEX
AFTER SEVEN YEARS.
IT'S NOT LIKE
WE NEVER HAVE SEX.
A LOT OF HETEROSEXUAL COUPLES
HAVE CHILDREN
WHEN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS
AREN'T PERFECT.
YOU JUST OBVIOUSLY
DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT HAPPENS IN
A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP.
I KNEW THIS
WAS A BAD IDEA.
I DON'T BELIEVE
THAT A STRAIGHT
MALE THERAPIST
CAN POSSIBLY
UNDERSTAND.
EARLY SEX IS PASSIONATE.
IT'S ILLICIT, EXCITING.
IT STILL HAS THAT...
[ GASPS ]
...FACTOR,
BUT VERY QUICKLY
A KIND OF SYMBIOSIS DEVELOPS.
IT ESPECIALLY HAPPENS
BETWEEN TWO WOMEN
WHO ARE DOING THE WORK
OF MAKING A SERIOUS COMMITMENT
TO ONE ANOTHER,
AND WHEN THAT MERGING OCCURS,
THE INTENSE MUTUAL DEPENDENCY
CAN BE A DETERRENT
TO SEXUAL INTIMACY.
OH, MY GOD.
THE LESBIAN
URGE TO MERGE.
WE HAVE TO STOP NOW.
OH.
DO YOU WANT TO SCHEDULE
ANOTHER SESSION?
WE'LL LET YOU KNOW.
I THINK TINA AND I
NEED TO TALK.
WHAT ABOUT THIS INSEMINATION?
THAT'S NOT UP
FOR DISCUSSION.
NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION?
NO, IT'S NOT.
I QUIT MY JOB.
I WAS A PRETTY SUCCESSFUL
DEVELOPMENT EXECUTIVE.
NOW I WANT TO RELAX
AND PREPARE MY BODY
FOR PREGNANCY.
THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.
I'M READY
TO START A FAMILY.
WE'RE BOTH READY
TO START A FAMILY.
RIGHT?
ABSOLUTELY.
RIGHT.
OKAY. GREAT.
SO THIS IS IT.
THIS IS OUR
NEIGHBORHOOD.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS OUR HOME.
IT'S VERY TRADITIONAL.
WAIT TILL YOU
GET TO KNOW IT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
IT'S JUST, UH,
NOT AS TRADITIONAL
AS YOU MIGHT THINK.
SO HERE'S YOUR NEW HOME.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M FINALLY HERE.
THIS HAS BEEN
THE LONGEST SIX MONTHS
IN HISTORY, TIM.
YEAH, BUT YOUR STUDIO'S
FINALLY READY.
[ JENNY GASPS ]
OKAY, SO THIS
USED TO BE A GARAGE.
UNTIL A FEW DAYS AGO.
I DID A REMODEL
ON IT FOR YOU.
GO ON.
TRY IT OUT.
COME ON.
OH, MY GOD!
I LOVE IT!
I HAVE TO GO, ALL RIGHT?
I'LL BE BACK SOON.
WHAT A FUCKING
AUSPICIOUS OCCASION.
I'D LOVE TO BREAK OPEN
A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE,
BUT I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK
SOMETIME TODAY.
I'M SORRY IT'S NOT
MORE ENTICING.
HEY, DON'T WORRY,
I DO THIS ALL THE TIME.
[ WHISPERING ]:
I LOVE HIS NEW WORK.
HE'S USING PAINT
SO MUCH MORE FREELY.
YEAH, I DON'T REMEMBER HIS WORK
HAVING THIS MUCH TEXTURE.
[ SEAN GASPING ]
[ SEAN MOANING AND GRUNTING ]
COME ON! OH!
I DON'T WANT YOU TO
BE STRESSED OUT, HONEY.
I--
I KNOW THIS IS
YOUR FIRST TIME
CURATING FOR ME,
AND I'M GOING TO GIVE
YOU A LOT OF SUPPORT--
OH...
HEY, LISTEN,
THIS'LL LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD.
GUESS WHAT TINA HAS
BETWEEN HER LEGS.
[ LAUGHS ]
CLOSE.
A JAR OF
SEAN HEANEY'S SPERM.
I KID YOU NOT.
SHE'S KEEPING IT WARM.
WELL, SUPPOSEDLY,
ONCE IT'S BEEN EJACULATED,
IT SURVIVES LONGER IF YOU
KEEP IT AT BODY TEMPERATURE.
HUH?
OH, UH...
HOLD ON A SECOND.
UH, IT'S ONLY ABOUT
HALF AN INCH,
BUT THEY SAY IT'S
QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY.
GOD, IT'S REPUGNANT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I USED
TO SWALLOW THAT STUFF.
YEAH, TINA SAID
I COULD SWIM HERE
WHENEVER.
THEY'RE UPTIGHT
AT THE CHATEAU.
HOW ARE THEY
UPTIGHT?
WELL, THEY DON'T
LET YOU SWIM NAKED.
IT IS A PUBLIC POOL.
ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING
TO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS,
AND WHILE I'M GONE...
WELL, REMEMBER HOW I TOLD YOU
THAT THERE'S A FAIR
AMOUNT OF EVIDENCE NOW
THAT IT'S MORE LIKELY TO TAKE
IF YOU'RE AROUSED.
SHE'S NOT SERIOUS.
AM I SUPPOSED TO FUCK YOU
RIGHT HERE?
I THINK IT WOULD HELP.
[ LAUGHS ]
THIS IS JUST--
THIS IS--
THIS IS TOO WEIRD FOR ME,
I--I MEAN--I--I JUST--
YOU KNOW, I REALLY--
FRANKLY, I FIND IT
INCREDIBLY INAPPROPRIATE
THAT SHE EVEN
SUGGESTED IT.
YOU KNOW, I MEAN,
I BET SHE WOULD NEVER DO THAT
WITH A STRAIGHT COUPLE.
[ KNOCKING ]
COME IN.
COULD YOU COME HERE A MINUTE,
PLEASE?
YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE
A LOOK AT THIS.
SHOULDN'T THEY
BE MOVING MORE?
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT
I WANTED TO SHOW YOU.
I AM SO SORRY
TO TELL YOU,
BUT THAT STUFF WOULDN'T
GET ANYONE PREGNANT.
THOSE LITTLE FELLAS
JUST DON'T HAVE
WHAT IT TAKES.
HELLO.
HI.
WHAT KIND OF,
UM, POSITIONS
DO YOU HAVE AVAILABLE?
BECAUSE I MIGHT BE LOOKING
FOR A JOB.
OH, UM, CASHIER.
REALLY?
YEAH.
EXCELLENT.
UM, COULD I HAVE AN APPLICATION?
YEAH.
GREAT.
OH, TINA,
WHERE IS SHE?
THERE SHE IS.
AH!
YOUR LADYSHIP, PLEASE,
DON'T JAR ANYTHING.
IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S
GOING TO DISLODGE
IF SHE SITS DOWN
TOO HARD, ALICE.
THERE'S NOTHING TO DISLODGE.
SEAN'S SPERM
IS LACKLUSTER.
HE HAS LOW MOTILITY.
NO MOTILITY, ACTUALLY.
OH, MY GOD.
YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW IT
BY THE WAY HE FUCKS.
OH, CHRIST, ALICE.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING
TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND
BETWEEN DICK AND PUSSY?
AND SPARE US THE GORY
BISEXUAL DETAILS, PLEASE.
WELL, FOR YOUR
INFORMATION, DANA,
I'M LOOKING FOR THE SAME
QUALITIES IN A MAN
AS I AM IN A WOMAN.
BIG TITS.
IT EXPLAINS WHY
I HAVEN'T GOTTEN PREGNANT
AFTER SIX MONTHS.
OH, SORRY, TEE.
HE WAS THE PERFECT DONOR.
HE WAS THE ONE
WHO BETTE WANTED,
BUT MY EGG JUST IMPLANTED,
SO I COULD STILL CONCEIVE
ANYTIME OVER THE NEXT
TWO OR THREE DAYS,
SO YOU GOT TO HELP ME FIND
ANOTHER DONOR.
HOLD ON, NOW,
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
SEAN'S JISM
WAS NO GOOD.
AW. WE'LL FIND YOU
SOMEONE ELSE.
WHO? I'VE GOT TWO DAYS.
WELL, BETWEEN THE FOUR OF US,
WE'LL COME UP WITH SOMEONE.
WHAT, HE HAS TO BE HEALTHY,
STRONG, CREATIVE, HANDSOME...
ARTISTIC.
THERE'S ALWAYS SHANE.
GUYS...
HEY!
YOU KNOW, DO YOU HAVE TO
DRESS LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME?
LIKE WHAT?
WELL, I WOULDN'T BE SEEN
ON THE STREET WITH YOU.
YEAH?
I MEAN, EVERY SINGLE THING
ABOUT THE WAY YOU'RE DRESSED,
LIKE, SCREAMS "DYKE."
GOD, DANA...
SORRY, MAN.
LOOK, IF I'M OUTED,
I'M SCREWED, ALICE, ALL RIGHT?
SPONSORS AREN'T EXACTLY
CLAMORING TO HAVE
THEIR STUFF REPPED
BY BIG OLD
LEZZIE TENNIS PLAYERS.
NO, NO, NO, LOOK, IT'S COOL.
I TOTALLY DIG
YOU NEED TO MAKE A LIVING.
I'M MEETING A CLIENT ANYWAY.
YOU KNOW, YOU
ARE GOING TO PICKLE
IN THAT SELF-LOATHING
HOMOPHOBIA, I SWEAR.
YEAH? WELL, YOU'RE
GOING TO SHRIVEL
IN THAT SELF-RIGHTEOUS
PRIGGISHNESS.
YOU GUYS...
ALL RIGHT, WHO WOULD
SQUIRT INTO A JAR
FOR YOU?
HELLO...
WHAT?
YOU ARE JUST SO GAY.
SO GAY.
I KNOW.
I KNOW...
DO YOU, UH...
DO YOU KNOW
THE NEIGHBORS
NEXT DOOR?
BETTE AND TINA?
YEAH. ARE THEY, UM, LIKE,
A COUPLE?
YEAH, THEY ARE.
BECAUSE I SAW
THEM HAVING SEX
IN THEIR POOL
THIS AFTERNOON.
NO WAY.
NOT BETTE AND TINA.
WHAT, THEY DON'T HAVE SEX?
NO, PROBABLY THEY DO,
IT'S JUST THAT...
YOU SURE YOU SAW THEM
GETTING DOWN?
I SAW THEM GETTING
WAY DOWN, TIM.
IS THAT RIGHT?
MM-HMM.
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME
ABOUT IT?
OKAY.
THERE WAS THIS GIRL...
WITH SHORT BLACK HAIR...
AND SHE WALKS OUT,
AND SHE TAKES OFF
HER CLOTHES
IN, LIKE,
TWO SECONDS FLAT.
YEAH?
LIKE THIS?
I THINK IT WAS
A LITTLE BIT FASTER.
OH, REALLY?
YEAH, I DO.
WE'LL WORK ON THAT.
OKAY.
AND THEN THERE WAS,
UM, THIS BLONDE GIRL
WHO HAD THESE REALLY
BEAUTIFUL BREASTS,
BUT I WASN'T REALLY
WATCHING THAT CLOSELY.
OH, I THINK
YOU WERE WATCHING...
VERY CLOSELY.
WHAT DID THEY
DO NEXT?
COME ON.
THE TALL SKINNY ONE
TAKES THE BLONDE
VAMPY ONE...
BACKS HER AGAINST
THE SIDE OF THE POOL
AND THEN SHE BEGINS
TO FUCK HER.
LIKE THIS?
OH, FUCK...
[ BLOWS WHISTLE ]
TRISH...
YOUR BACKSTROKE
IS LOOKING MUCH BETTER.
OH, THANKS.
YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD
FOR USC.
YOU GUYS GOT
SOME EXTRA STROKE
TRAINING SCHEDULED?
YEAH, TOMORROW
AFTER PHYSICS, RIGHT?
YEAH.
HEY, DO YOU THINK
THAT YOU COULD MAYBE
COME WITH ME
IN THE MORNING
TO TALK TO DURST
ABOUT REPEATING
MY MIDTERM?
I CAN'T REALLY
DO IT IN THE MORNING.
MY GIRLFRIEND
JENNY'S IN TOWN.
SHE WANTS ME TO
TAKE HER CAR SHOPPING.
OH, SHE'S
MOVING HERE?
YEP. SHE'S IN IT
FOR THE LONG HAUL.
OH.
TRISH...
MAYBE AFTER PRACTICE,
YOU AND I CAN GO TALK
TO DURST TOGETHER.
OKAY.
[ LAUGHS ]
NOW, YOU KNOW
YOU JUST BROKE
THAT GIRL'S HEART, RIGHT?
SORRY, MAN, WHAT
WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?
OH, MY GOD, IS THAT
DANA FAIRBANKS
AT THE PLANET
IN WEST HOLLYWOOD?
SHH! SHE DOESN'T WANT
HER TENNIS FANS
TO KNOW SHE'S A GAY LADY.
FUNNY.
OKAY, FINE.
WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK
ABOUT BUTT WAXING?
WHO HAS HAIR
ON THEIR BUTT?
I DON'T KNOW.
[ GASPS ]
AT LEAST I DON'T ANYMORE.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TRIM IT?
LISTEN, YOU GUYS, YOU'LL HAVE TO
FIGURE THIS ALL OUT
WITHOUT THE BENEFIT
OF MY WISDOM.
OH!
BETTE, TINA,
GUESS WHAT.
I HAD A GENIUS IDEA.
I HAVE SOLVED
YOUR DONOR PROBLEM.
YOU TWO ARE HAVING A PARTY
THIS SATURDAY NIGHT,
AND WE ARE INVITING ALL
THE ELIGIBLE MEN THAT WE KNOW.
OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT,
ALL TWO OF THEM.
NO, YEAH. GET THEM ALL TOGETHER
AT ONE TIME.
RIGHT,
JUST GO FISHING IN THE POND.
GREAT.
I'M LEAVING NOW.
I'M GOING TO CALL YOU
ABOUT THAT!
OKAY.
BACK TO MY
QUESTION, PLEASE.
OKAY...
TRIMMING IS
ESSENTIAL.
YOU KNOW?
YOU JUST DO IT A FEW DAYS
BEFORE YOU GET LAID.
ASSUMING YOU EVER DO.
WHATEVER YOU DO,
YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.
OTHERWISE YOU'LL NEVER HAVE
BUSH CONFIDENCE.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE
BUSH CONFIDENCE,
YOU WON'T FEEL GOOD
ABOUT YOUR BUSH,
AND YOU'LL NEVER GET LAID.
SO DEAL WITH IT.
OKAY.
DO YOU NEED
ANY ROSEMARY?
IT'S KIND OF
TAKING OVER MY GARDEN.
OH, HI.
DID I SCARE YOU?
I'M SORRY.
OH, NO, NO.
NOT AT ALL.
I'M JENNY.
I'M TINA.
IT'S NICE
TO MEET YOU.
I WOULD LOVE
SOME ROSEMARY.
THANKS.
I HAVE THIS STORY
THAT I'VE WRITTEN
CALLED
"THUS SPOKE SARAH SHUSTER..."
I FEEL LIKE
THAT'S, LIKE, THE LAST STORY
THAT I EVER WANT TO WRITE
ABOUT BEING A STUDENT.
OH, YOU MIGHT CHANGE YOUR MIND
WHEN YOU GET OLDER.
I'M ACTUALLY THINKING
ABOUT GOING BACK TO SCHOOL.
I'D LIKE
A NEW CAREER.
YOU SHOULD DO IT.
YEAH?
YEAH.
MAYBE IN A COUPLE YEARS.
RIGHT NOW
I'M TRYING TO HAVE A BABY.
REALLY?
BUT TIM SAID
THAT YOU AND...BETTE...
YEAH.
WERE A COUPLE.
WE ARE.
OH.
AND I'M TRYING
TO GET PREGNANT.
OH, MY GOD, YES. NO. YES.
WELL, EVERYTHING STILL WORKS.
YES.
WE CAN STILL HAVE BABIES.
IT'S JUST LIKE--
THERE WAS, LIKE,
A MOMENTARY BRAIN LAPSE.
HEY, GUYS.
HEY.
GAY DADS GROUP.
OH, MY GOD.
THEY MEET ONCE A WEEK
AT A HOUSE OVER ON OGDEN.
IT'S ALL VERY L.A., HUH?
NO, IT'S NICE.
UM, I SHOULD GO HOME
AND WRITE.
OKAY.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR THE ROSEMARY.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
WE'RE HAVING A PARTY
TOMORROW NIGHT.
OH, YEAH?
YOU AND TIM SHOULD COME.
OKAY. I'LL ASK TIM
IF HE WANTS TO.
NICE MEETING YOU.
IT WAS NICE
TO MEET YOU, TOO, JENNY.
BYE.
[ SIGHS ]
HEY...
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY
FOR YOURSELF, HUH?
CAN I SEE YOUR LICENSE
AND REGISTRATION?
LOOK, I REALLY GOT TO--
MA'AM.
OKAY. I...
HANG ON. HANG ON.
YOU KNOW, I WAS ON MY WAY
TO MY FIRST PAYING GIG
IN OVER A YEAR.
YOU ARE SO
OVERREACTING.
SHE IS OUR FRIEND.
OH! LIKE THAT'S EVER
STOPPED YOU BEFORE.
LIKE THAT'S EVER
STOPPED ANYONE BEFORE.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
LESBIANS THINK
FRIENDSHIP'S ANOTHER WORD
FOR FOREPLAY.
[ LAUGHS ]
HELLO.
HOW YOU DOING?
HAVE YOU EVER
NOTICED
THAT EVERY TIME SHANE
WALKS INTO A ROOM,
SOMEONE LEAVES
CRYING?
SHANE?
YEAH? HEY...
HEY, HOW COME
YOU DIDN'T CALL ME
THE OTHER NIGHT?
I LEFT, LIKE, FIVE MESSAGES.
OH. WELL, YOU KNOW,
I HAVEN'T HAD MY CELL PHONE.
SO, WHEN I GO GET MY CELL PHONE
AND I CHECK MY MESSAGES,
I WILL CALL YOU.
ALL RIGHT?
IT WAS GOOD TO SEE YOU, THOUGH.
MM-HMM.
YOU TAKE CARE.
IT'S JUST WRONG.
YOU JUST CAN'T TREAT PEOPLE
LIKE THAT.
YOU HAVE TO TELL SHANE...
THAT THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.
OKAY. I'LL TELL HER.
HI.
HI. WELCOME.
[ ♪♪ ]
BETTE, EVERYONE, I WANT YOU
TO MEET OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS.
THIS IS TIM...
OH, HI.
OH, AND THIS MUST BE...
JENNY.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
BETTE.
AND ALICE PIESZECKI
AND SHANE McCUTCHEON.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
EXCUSE ME.
ARE YOU DANA FAIRBANKS?
I'M SORRY.
WHAT?
DANA FAIRBANKS.
YES. I AM.
I'M A HUGE FAN.
REALLY?
I SAW YOU ALMOST BEAT CAPRIATI
LAST YEAR
AT THE WOMEN'S INVITATIONAL.
GREAT. SHE'S GOING
TO BE INSUFFERABLE.
OH, GOD,
IT'S JUST ONE FAN.
IT'S OKAY.
JENNY, THIS IS
DANA FAIRBANKS.
HI.
SHE'S ONE OF
THE BEST PLAYERS
ON THE WOMEN'S TENNIS
CIRCUIT RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS MY DOUBLES PARTNER,
HARRISON LANDY.
UM, HONEY,
THIS IS TIM...
TIM.
TIM AND JENNY.
GOOD TO MEET YOU.
JENNY.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
FIELD RESEARCH.
YEAH, THERE'S A SCIENTIST
AT THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER
WHO SAYS THAT
IF YOUR RING FINGER IS LONGER
THAN YOUR INDEX FINGER,
IT MEANS YOU'RE A LESBIAN.
MM-HMM.
YEAH. TOTALLY GAY.
WAS THERE EVER
ANY DOUBT?
OH, MY GOD, LOOK.
I'M GAY, TOO.
THANK GOD.
OTHERWISE I'D HAVE TO LEAVE YOU.
OKAY, ALICE MAKES THE TEAM,
BUT JUST BARELY.
THIS MAY BE
CONTROVERSIAL,
BUT IT SEEMS LIKE
I MIGHT BE A LESBIAN, TOO.
OH, THAT'S SO WEIRD.
HER INDEX FINGER
AND RING FINGER
ARE EXACTLY THE SAME LENGTH.
WHAT DOES
THAT MEAN?
MAYBE SHE'S BISEXUAL.
OH, LOOK,
THERE'S SIMON BONHAM.
DANA AND HARRISON,
CAN YOU MAKE
TIM AND JENNY
A DRINK FOR ME?
YEAH, SURE,
SURE, SURE.
UH, DRINKS?
KITCHEN?
YEAH. GREAT.
SO, TIM,
DO YOU PLAY TENNIS?
'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS LOOKING
FOR A LITTLE ACTION.
OKAY, DRINKS.
UH, ACTUALLY,
I'M A SWIM COACH.
OH.
ACCORDING TO OUR
COMPUTER, MA'AM,
THIS LICENSE WAS REVOKED
SIX MONTHS AGO.
WELL, THAT'S WHAT I WOULD CALL
A TECHNICALITY.
IF YOU WANT TO GET TECHNICAL,
I SHOULD HAUL YOU DOWNTOWN
AND THROW YOU IN JAIL.
I WAS ON MY WAY
TO A GIG AT THE ROXY.
YEAH, Y-YOU KNOW IVAN NEVILLE,
HE'S ON THE BILL WITH ME.
WELL, HE AND I WERE GOING
TO CHECK OUT
AN A.A. MEETING TOGETHER.
IVAN NEVILLE
OF THE NEVILLE BROTHERS?
YEAH.
GOD, I LOVE
THE NEVILLE BROTHERS.
OH. OH, WE--
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THEM
IN CONCERT?
WELL, ONCE, YEARS AGO.
BACK WHEN I WAS STATIONED
IN NEW ORLEANS.
OH...WELL,
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ONSTAGE,
FIVE FEET AWAY
FROM AARON AND HIS BROTHERS,
PERFORMING?
SAY, LIKE, UH, UH...
A MONTH FROM NOW
AT THE HOUSE OF BLUES?
YOU KNOW,
I COULD HOOK YOU UP.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
THIS IS STILL REVOKED.
ALL RIGHT?
AND WE HAVE TO LEAVE THE CAR.
...LIKE A TOUGH
SORT OF TENNIS
PLAYER.
NO, I'D NEVER WEAR--
IT'S TOO
MASCULINE FOR ME.
I WOULD NEVER WEAR
ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
I LIKE IT.
NO, IT LOOKS GREAT
ON HIM, DOESN'T IT?
IT'S KIND OF SEXY.
WOW.
THIS IS VERY--A VERY
INTERESTING PARTY.
OH, THAT'S BECAUSE
BETTE'S A BIG
ART WORLD LADY,
SO THERE ARE
A LOT OF ARTISTS.
YEAH, AND A LOT OF--
LEZZIES? MM-HMM.
REALLY?
ARE THERE REALLY?
YOU KNOW, I HADN'T
NOTICED THAT.
YEAH, IT'S KIND OF
HARD TO MISS.
TINA TOLD ME
THAT SHE AND BETTE
ARE THINKING ABOUT
HAVING A BABY.
MM-HMM.
OH, THERE'S A LOT
OF THAT GOING AROUND.
THEY EVEN HAD TO CHANGE
THAT FAMOUS JOKE.
IT USED TO BE,
"WHAT DO LESBIANS
BRING ON A SECOND DATE?
A MOVING VAN."
NOW IT'S,
"WHAT DO
LESBIANS BRING
ON A SECOND DATE?
A TURKEY BASTER."
[ DANA LAUGHING FORCIBLY ]
THAT'S SO FUNNY.
HONEY, I DON'T
EVEN KNOW
WHY YOU'D KNOW
THAT JOKE.
WHO'S HE BEEN
HANGING OUT WITH, HUH?
EXCUSE ME.
...COMMITMENT FROM YOU.
THAT'S REALLY NOT
WHAT WE'RE--
EXCUSE ME. HI, I'M SORRY.
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
EXCUSE ME, SIMON.
WHAT WAS I THINKING,
WHAT?
INVITING THOSE GEEKY
STRAIGHT PEOPLE.
I'M SORRY.
NO OFFENSE.
I MEAN, I'VE GOT TO HANG
ON HARRISON ALL NIGHT LONG
LIKE SOME
BIG FAT HETERO.
EXCUSE ME, DANA.
WE REALLY LOVE YOU,
BUT IT'S NOT
OUR CROSS TO BEAR
THAT YOU AND HARRISON
HAVE DECIDED
TO MASQUERADE
AS OZZIE AND HARRIET.
OKAY?
GREAT. THANKS.
SORRY, SIMON.
SO WHAT WAS I SAYING?
COMMITMENT.
OH, RIGHT, COMMITMENT.
WE WOULDN'T EXPECT
ANY KIND OF COMMITMENT
FROM YOU,
FINANCIAL OR OTHERWISE.
I MEAN, REALLY, YOU WOULDN'T
EVEN HAVE TO KNOW THE CHILD
IF YOU DIDN'T...
ALTHOUGH IT WOULD BE NICE
IF YOU WANTED TO HAVE--
I MEAN,
WE WOULD LIKE IT
IF OUR DONOR HAD
A RELATIONSHIP
WITH OUR CHILD.
YEAH, BUT YOU'D HAVE
TO SIGN A DONOR CONTRACT
RELINQUISHING
ALL PARENTAL RIGHTS--
WHOA, BETTE, TINA,
SLOW DOWN.
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO WASTE YOUR BREATH.
WHAT?
I'M FLATTERED.
I'M TOTALLY FLATTERED,
BUT I JUST COULDN'T HANDLE IT.
I MEAN, WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN THIS KID TURNS 17,
HIS LIFE'S A COMPLETE MESS,
AND HE HATES BOTH OF YOUR GUTS
AND THE NEXT THING
I KNOW,
HE'S CAMPED OUT
ON MY DOORSTEP
ASKING ME TO SAVE HIM
FROM HIS MISERABLE FUCKING LIFE?
I CAN'T DO THAT.
UM...
[ LAUGHING WEAKLY ]
BEST FIRST FICTION?
YES.
WOW, ISN'T THAT, LIKE,
A MAJOR PRIZE?
UM, I GUESS SO.
SO, UM,
WHAT'S THE STORY ABOUT?
I HAVE THIS, UH, THIS CHARACTER
THAT I WRITE ABOUT
THAT'S SORT OF LIKE
THIS ALTER EGO,
BUT NOT REALLY,
AND THE STORY'S
CALLED
"THUS SPOKE SARAH SHUSTER."
THAT'S PRETTY BOLD.
I HOPE YOU'RE GOOD.
UM, JENNY, THIS IS MARINA.
SHE OWNS THE PLANET.
IT'S A LITTLE CAFE
DOWN ON SANTA MONICA--
YEAH, I--I WALKED BY
THE OTHER DAY,
BUT IT WAS TOO CROWDED,
SO I DIDN'T GO IN.
IT GETS REALLY CROWDED,
THANKS TO ALICE,
WHO WROTE ME UP
IN HER MAGAZINE.
ARE YOU A WRITER?
YEAH, FOR L.A. MAGAZINE.
YEAH, MORE OF A JOURNALIST--
LITTLE DIFFERENT FROM YOU.
I DON'T THINK
IT'S DIFFERENT--
JENNY JUST WON
THIS LITERARY PRIZE,
REALLY BIG,
FOR THE STORY
SHE WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT,
"JUST SPOKE" SOMETHING--
OH, "THUS SPOKE ZARATHUSTRA."
THAT'S A NIETZSCHE REFERENCE.
YEAH.
HAS YOUR STORY
BEEN PUBLISHED?
YES.
IT'LL BE IN THE NEXT
BEST AMERICAN SHORT STORIES.
RIGHT?
WHICH IS--
I DON'T KNOW IF I TOLD YOU,
BUT I WRITE A LOT
OF "BEST OF" PIECES.
THAT'S WHERE I DISCOVERED
AMY BLOOM.
I READ THIS BEAUTIFUL
STORY SHE WROTE
CALLED, UM...
SILVER WATER.
"COME TO ME."
THAT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE
COLLECTIONS.
I THINK THAT
I'VE PROBABLY READ
EVERYTHING THAT AMY BLOOM
HAS EVER WRITTEN.
I'M ABOUT TO START ON THIS
"BEST COSMETICS UNDER $100."
OH.
THERE'S SUPPOSEDLY
THIS GUY IN CALABASAS
WHO DOES THESE BOTOX INJECTIONS
FOR 75 BUCKS A POP.
OH. ISN'T THAT
ILLEGAL?
HAVE YOU READ ANYTHING
BY ANNE CARSON?
"AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF RED..."
"EROS THE BITTERSWEET."
I THINK
THOSE BOOKS
PRACTICALLY
CHANGED MY LIFE.
WHAT ABOUT YOU.
HAVE YOU READ THEM?
YES.
WOW!
YOU GUYS SHOULD TOTALLY TAKE
THE COSMO ROMANCE
COMPATIBILITY QUIZ.
WELL, THIS WOULD BE MY SINGULAR
ROMANTIC COMPATIBILITY QUESTION.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE--
NO, NO, YOUR MOST...
INFLUENTIAL, IMPORTANT,
LIFE-ALTERING BOOK
OF ALL TIME?
I DON'T KNOW
IF I WANT TO ANSWER THAT.
WHAT'S YOURS?
I ASKED YOU FIRST.
I HAVE AN IDEA.
JENNY, YOU COULD
WHISPER YOURS IN THIS EAR,
AND, MARINA, YOU CAN WHISPER
YOURS IN THIS EAR,
AND I'LL TELL YOU
IF YOU'RE COMPATIBLE.
[ MUTTERING ]:
I THINK I ALREADY KNOW.
WHATEVER.
I'M JUST GOING TO LEAVE
YOU TWO ALONE TO GET MARRIED.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
BETTE WAS SET ON AN ARTIST,
BUT SHE SAYS
THAT YOU HAVE EXQUISITE TASTE
IN THE WORK THAT YOU SHOW
IN YOUR GALLERY.
I DO.
AW...
YOU SAID THAT?
MM-HMM.
I GOT TO TELL YOU,
I COULDN'T BE MORE FLATTERED.
I KNOW YOU TWO ARE GOING
TO BE WONDERFUL MOTHERS,
AND I BET YOU'LL HAVE GUYS
LINING UP AROUND THE BLOCK,
BEGGING TO JERK OFF FOR YOU.
ROBIN, ARE YOU SETTING US UP
FOR A TURN-DOWN?
BELIEVE ME, IT'S GOT NOTHING
TO DO WITH YOU GUYS.
NO, I HAVE NO RESERVATIONS
ABOUT YOU TWO.
IT'S MY OWN
GENETIC SHORTCOMINGS,
WHICH I WOULDN'T WANT TO PASS ON
TO ANY CHILD.
I MEAN, LOOK HOW
BOW-LEGGED I AM.
IT'S A FAMILY TRAIT.
OH, THAT'S CUTE.
WE COULD LIVE WITH THAT.
I ALSO CARRY THE GENE
FOR BUCK TEETH.
MY MOTHER AND MY THREE SISTERS
ARE ALL--
THERE ARE ALWAYS
BRACES.
WE ALSO HAVE
A PROPENSITY FOR SHINGLES,
EARLY ONSET
MANIC DEPRESSION.
BOTH TREATABLE.
PREMATURE HAIR LOSS,
AMONG THE WOMEN,
AS WELL AS THE MEN...
WE COULD GET
ONE OF THOSE...
A WEAVE.
ALSO A HIDEOUS TENDENCY
TO DROOL...
OKAY.
WE GET THE PICTURE.
WE GET IT.
OKAY.
YEP.
THANK YOU.
THANKS, ROBIN.
SURE.
SORRY.
GOOD LUCK.
I'M REALLY SORRY
YOU MISSED YOUR GIG.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT
TO DO ABOUT YOU CAR?
YEAH.
YEAH, DON'T GO
BEATING YOURSELF UP
OVER IT.
YOU ARE ONE
DECENT HUMAN BEING,
AND THAT'S RARE
IN THIS SOULLESS TOWN.
KEEP IT REAL.
ALL RIGHT.
NO WAY.
KIT! HI!
HEY, GIRL, WHAT'S UP?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HOW YOU DOING?
COME ON IN.
WELCOME.
YEAH, THANKS, GIRL.
HEY.
THERE YOU ARE.
I'M JUST WAITING
FOR THE WASHROOM.
DO YOU WANT TO...
YOU WERE ON
THE OLYMPIC SWIM TEAM?
YEAH, I WAS.
THIS IS AMAZING.
I HAVE A PROJECT ABOUT
COMPETITIVE SWIMMING,
BUT WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE
TO CRACK THE STORY.
WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED?
THERE IS THIS ONE INCREDIBLY
DRAMATIC THING THAT HAPPENED.
WHEN I WAS
SWIMMING FOR U OF CHICAGO,
WE HAD THIS ONE GUY
ON THE TEAM
THAT WAS PROBABLY
THE BEST SWIMMER--
TIM, TAKE ME HOME.
JEN, I WANT
YOU TO MEET--
I WANT YOU TO
TAKE ME HOME NOW.
EXCUSE ME.
YEAH, SURE.
UM, LOOK, OBVIOUSLY,
I-I HAVE TO GO.
IT WAS GOOD
TALKING TO YOU.
YEAH, YOU TOO.
THANK YOU.
OKAY. IS YOUR SISTER, LIKE,
THE COOLEST PERSON ON EARTH
OR WHAT?
WHAT'S KIT
DOING HERE?
YOUR GUESS IS
AS GOOD AS MINE.
JEN, I WAS IN THE MIDDLE
OF A CONVERSATION.
DO YOU WANT TO AT LEAST TELL ME
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I FELT WEIRD.
THAT'S PRETTY VAGUE, JEN,
EVEN FOR YOU.
YOU FELT WEIRD.
WHAT ARE YOU--
JEN, COME ON.
WE NEED TO TALK.
JEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
J--
JEN...
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME
WHY YOU'RE NOT
AT YOUR GIG
AT THE ROXY?
WELL, THAT WAS SOMETHING
I CAME OVER HERE TO TELL YOU--
BETTE, YOU
NEVER TOLD ME
THAT KIT PORTER
WAS YOUR SISTER.
WOW.
MY HALF-SISTER.
GUESS WHICH HALF.
THAT IS
EXTREMELY COOL.
JEREMY BLOCK.
I SAID HI EARLIER.
I SAW YOU PLAY
A COUPLE YEARS AGO
AT THE HOLLYWOOD
ROOSEVELT.
YOU--YOU'RE
AWESOME.
OH, THANK YOU.
YOU'RE VERY KIND.
NO, REALLY.
WE'RE PUTTING TOGETHER
THE SOUNDTRACK
TO A PICTURE
I'M PRODUCING.
WE'RE WORKING
WITH A BUNCH OF CLASSIC
JAZZ AND BLUES LADIES,
AND I GUARANTEE HE WILL
COMPLETELY DIG YOU.
WELL, I WAS ABOUT TO GET
INTO SOMETHING HERE
WITH MY BABY SISTER--
I'M SURE
IT CAN WAIT.
I'VE GOT A HOUSE
FULL OF PEOPLE.
WELL, COME ON.
THE PARTY'S
IN THE BACK ROOM
AT LES DEUX.
ARE YOU SURE?
IT'S A POTENTIAL GIG.
YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY GO.
OKAY.
YEAH, WELL, HEY,
WHY DON'T I
RIDE WITH YOU?
SURE.
[ YAWNING ]
WHAT AN EGO BRUISER.
THREE TURN-DOWNS
IN ONE NIGHT.
IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG
WITH OUR PITCH?
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH YOU GUYS.
YOU KNOW, IT'S--
IT'S THE NEW MALE.
WHAT?
WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT MEN?
I MEAN, YOU'VE NEVER EVEN
BEEN WITH A MAN.
WELL, THE NEW MALE
IS MORE SPIRITUAL
THAN THE OLD MALE.
YOU KNOW, HE SEES HIS SPERM
AS AN EXTENSION
OF HIS INNER BEING.
WHEREAS THE OLD MALE
SHOT INTO ANY FEMALE
WITHOUT THINKING
ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN,
THE NEW MALE TOTALLY CARES
WHAT BECOMES OF HIS SEED.
OH, MY GOD, IT'S YODA.
YEAH, THEY TEACH THAT AT
HAIRDRESSER SCHOOL, BY THE WAY.
WELL, THAT'S
JUST GREAT.
WHY DID THEY HAVE TO GET
ALL SENSITIVE ON US
JUST WHEN WE
NEEDED THEM
TO KEEP ON BEING
THE SAME OLD ASSHOLES?
I DON'T KNOW.
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, WE'RE GOING
TO GO.
DON'T GO.
GOOD NIGHT, YOU GUYS.
BYE.
SHE'S TOTALLY GOING HOME
WITH THAT GIRL.
I'M SORRY.
OH, MY GOD.
GET OFF OF ME.
HARRISON,
THE PARTY'S OVER.
WE CAN GO BACK
TO BEING GAY.
I GOT TO GO.
YOU GUYS NEED HELP
CLEANING UP?
WE GOT IT.
YEAH, SONIA'S
COMING IN TOMORROW.
OKAY, GOOD NIGHT,
YOU GUYS.
GOOD NIGHT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
BYE-BYE.
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.
OH, SHIT.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU
BEEN OUT HERE?
I COULDN'T SLEEP
LAST NIGHT.
YOU WERE TOTALLY OUT.
YEAH, WELL,
SOMEBODY WORE ME OUT.
I CAME OUT HERE
AROUND 3:00...
IN THE MORNING,
AND THEN I STARTED
TO WRITE,
AND THAT WAS
SO SCARY.
IT'S A WHOLE
NEW PLACE, JEN.
IT'S JUST GOING
TO TAKE YOU A WHILE
TO FIND YOUR GROOVE.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW,
YOU NEVER TOLD ME
WHY YOU WERE SO UPSET
LAST NIGHT.
UM...
BECAUSE I WAS JUST
A LITTLE DRUNK.
I HOPE I DIDN'T
RUIN YOUR NIGHT.
NO, I THINK
IT TURNED OUT
PRETTY WELL.
OKAY.
WHAT DID YOU THINK?
YEAH.
OKAY, EVERYBODY,
LET'S GET THOSE BUTTS
UP OUT OF THE SADDLE
AND GET ON THE ROAD.
THAT FUCKING PARTY
MADE ME SO DEPRESSED.
WE HAVE TO WAIT
A WHOLE MONTH
BEFORE ANOTHER
INSEMINATION.
AT LEAST YOU HAVE
SOMEBODY TO WAIT WITH.
AT LEAST THERE'S SOMEBODY
IN BED NEXT TO YOU
WHEN YOU WAKE UP
IN THE MORNING, YOU KNOW?
NOW, EVERYONE,
DROP YOUR HEADS,
CLOSE YOUR EYES
AND SET YOUR INTENTIONS.
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
TO GOSSIP WITH YOUR FRIENDS?
TO CHANGE YOUR BODY?
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO GET
OUT OF THE NEXT 40 MINUTES?
A GOOD LOOK AT YOUR
SPECTACULAR TITS
WOULD BE NICE.
SO GO FOR IT.
NO!
BESIDES,
SHE'S STRAIGHT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
BECAUSE I'M SO
ATTRACTED TO HER.
EVERY TIME I'M ATTRACTED
TO SOMEBODY,
SHE'S EITHER UNAVAILABLE
OR STRAIGHT.
DANA!
♪ I'M HERE
TO MAKE YOUR DAY ♪
♪ I'M HERE
TO PLEASE YOU ♪
♪ YOU ARE HERE
TO MAKE MY DAY ♪
♪ I'M HERE
TO HELP MYSELF TO YOU ♪
JENNY!
HEY.
HEY, ARE YOU HERE
BY YOURSELF?
YEAH. I AM BY MYSELF,
BUT I'M GOING TO GO HOME
AND MAKE A SANDWICH.
NO, NO, WE'VE GOT A TABLE.
COME SIT WITH US.
OKAY. OKAY.
THIS INSTRUCTOR
RECOMMENDED THIS WORKSHOP
CALLED ALL WRITE,
W-R-I-T-E--
AND THIS INSTRUCTOR
MEETS WITH YOU
AND DOES THIS THING
CALLED BODYWORK,
YOU KNOW, TO HELP YOU GET
IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER VOICE,
WHICH I THOUGHT WAS WEIRD.
HEY...
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD
CHECK OUT MY MAGAZINE,
BECAUSE WE SOMETIMES
DO THESE RESOURCE LISTS
FOR THE CREATIVE
COMMUNITY.
OH, OKAY.
OR, YOU KNOW, UCLA
MIGHT BE YOUR BEST BET.
NO. I DON'T WANT TO--
I DON'T WANT TO GO
BACK TO SCHOOL.
MARINA HAS
A READING GROUP.
YOU GUYS MET
THE OTHER NIGHT.
HI, JENNY.
HEY...
SO, HOW DO YOU LIKE
THE PLANET?
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S NICE.
YOU WANT TO COME
TO MY READING GROUP?
YES.
THAT MEANS I CAN READ
ONE OF YOUR STORIES.
YOU CAN READ
ANYTHING YOU WANT.
YOU KNOW, ANYTHING.
OH, SHIT.
OH, GOD, IT'S LATE.
YOU KNOW, I, UH,
I'M STARTING A NEW TOUR,
SO I SHOULD
GO PRACTICE.
I'M GOING
TO FOLLOW YOU GUYS OUT.
JENNY, GOOD LUCK.
YES. THANK YOU.
I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE FOUND
WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.
BYE, ALICE.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YOU'LL BE OKAY?
YEAH, I'M GOOD.
OF COURSE SHE'S OKAY.
YOU'RE OKAY, RIGHT?
NO, I'M GOOD.
I'M GOOD.
I, UH...
I HOPE I DIDN'T UPSET YOU
THE OTHER NIGHT--
NO...
YOU DIDN'T UPSET ME.
I JUST, UH--
I CAME HERE
TO SAY THAT I'M NOT...
I'M NOT...
A BIG COFFEE DRINKER?
I HAVE TO GO.
TIM IS GOING TO BE HOME
AT 5:00.
SO...
IT--IT'S ONLY 2:00.
SO I NEED--
DON'T GET SO UPSET.
IT'S ONLY 2:00.
I KNOW, BUT I NEED
TO BE THERE...
WHEN HE CALLS, OKAY?
OKAY.
I'LL WALK YOU TO YOUR CAR.
OKAY.
YEAH?
YEAH.
THANK YOU.
FOR WHAT?
TURNING YOU
INTO A SPEED FREAK?
IS THIS YOUR CAR?
YES.
I MEAN, THIS IS TIM'S CAR.
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
A MUSCLE CAR.
IT'S SEXY.
ARE YOU BUSY
TOMORROW NIGHT?
DO YOU WANT TO COME
TO RADAR?
WHAT'S RADAR?
IT'S A SPECIAL NIGHT
WE DO HERE ON TUESDAYS.
RIGHT.
UM...
NO, THANK YOU.
OKAY.
CALL ME
IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND.
OKAY.
I COULD DO THIS.
YES.
AND YOU HAVE NO PROBLEM
WITH THE CONCEPT
OF BRINGING A CHILD
INTO THE WORLD
AND HAVING
ABSOLUTELY NO SAY
AS TO HOW HE OR SHE
IS RAISED?
I MUST HAVE CHILDREN
ALL OVER THE WORLD.
NOW, WHY WOULD I HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH THIS ONE?
I WILL SIGN THE DONOR'S
CONTRACT NOW.
JEAN PAUL, I DON'T MEAN
TO BE RUDE OR ANYTHING,
BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY, UH,
MEDICAL PROBLEMS,
ANY HISTORY
OF FAMILY ILLNESSES, OR...
HEALTH IS EXCELLENT
IN THE CHAMOIS FAMILY.
JEAN PAUL,
I KNOW YOU SAY
THAT YOU'RE COMFORTABLE
WITH ALL OF THIS,
BUT I JUST THINK
ABOUT IT FOR A MINUTE.
WHERE IS THIS CONTRACT?
MM-HMM, AND WHEN
WE DO THIS?
WHEN TINA'S
NEXT OVULATING.
YOU WANT TO DO THIS
HERE IN MY BED?
BON. BON.
OR YOU WANT ME
TO COME TO YOU?
UH...
UM...
WHEREVER YOU WANT.
WE'LL GIVE YOU
A STERILE CUP.
I MEAN, OR
IF YOU PREFER,
IF YOU NEED
YOUR PRIVACY,
I CAN COME BACK LATER
AFTER YOU FINISH
AND PICK IT UP.
CUP?
WHAT IS THIS CUP?
OH, IT'S
A SPECIMEN CUP.
YOU EJACULATE INTO IT.
OH, NO, NO, NO,
WE DON'T DO THAT WAY.
WE DO AS A MAN AND A WOMAN.
OH, JEAN PAUL,
I'M SORRY,
I JUST THOUGHT
YOU UNDERSTOOD THAT...
DO YOU WANT IT
TO BE ALL THREE?
BECAUSE THAT
WOULD BE FINE.
IT IS GOING TO BE
YOUR BABY, TOO.
NO.
NO? JUST ME
AND HER THEN. BON.
JEAN PAUL, NOT ONLY
ARE WE MONOGAMOUS,
WE DON'T
SLEEP WITH MEN.
BUT TO HAVE A BABY,
THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.
IT'S JUST NOT AN OPTION
FOR US, OKAY?
BUT FOR ME,
IT IS THE ONLY OPTION.
AN OBLIGATION.
I COULD NOT BRING A BABY
INTO THIS WORLD
WHO WAS NOT CONCEIVED
THROUGH THE PASSIONATE...
MM, MM...
BETWEEN A MAN
AND A WOMAN.
HEY!
THE PENIS. THE PUSSY.
THE BABY.
YOU KNOW?
YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
"ZE PENIS, ZE PUSSY,
ZE BABY"?
OH, GOD, I SWEAR...
COME ON, TEE, IT'S FUNNY.
I'M SORRY,
I DON'T FIND IT FUNNY.
WELL, TRY.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE A SENSE
OF HUMOR ABOUT THESE THINGS.
OH, WELL, I GUESS
YOU'LL JUST TAKE CARE OF THAT
FOR THE BOTH OF US.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
WHAT? WHAT AM I DOING?
WE GOT MARY,
AND WE GOT TRISH,
AND I THINK WE--
HEY, RANDY.
HEY.
WOW. YOU LOOK AMAZING.
THANKS.
DAMN.
I THINK I'M GOING TO DITCH RANDY
AND TAKE YOU OUT MYSELF.
DO YOU WANT
TO COME?
'CAUSE WE GOT
A SHITLOAD
OF WORK TO DO,
BUT YOU DO LOOK GREAT.
THANK YOU.
I'M NOT GOING
TO BE LATE.
OKAY.
GOOD-BYE.
BYE, RANDY.
GOOD NIGHT.
WHERE'S SHE OFF TO
ALL DOLLED UP
LIKE THAT?
UH, THE PLANET.
THEY'RE HAVING SOME KIND
OF SPECIAL PARTY OR SOMETHING.
AND YOU'RE LETTING HER
GO ALONE?
I'M MAKING HER GO.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW
THAT MANY PEOPLE.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW IT,
BUT SHE'S KIND OF A RECLUSE.
UH...
HI.
HELLO, JENNY.
UH...
IT'S ALL WOMEN.
OH, YEAH, RADAR
IS A WOMEN'S PARTY.
SORRY. SORRY.
THAT'S THE ONE
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
HOT.
SO HOT.
HI.
HI, JENNY.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE
COMING OUT TONIGHT.
YEAH,
MARINA INVITED ME.
HEY, HEY.
HELLO.
I THOUGHT SHE'D LIKE RADAR.
BETTE'S SISTER KIT
DOES A POETRY NIGHT.
I THINK YOU'D ENJOY IT.
UM...
WHERE IS BETTE?
SHE'S AT WORK.
THEY'RE STILL
FIGHTING.
OH, MY GOD, THERE ARE
SO MANY HOT GIRLS HERE.
[ WHISTLES ]
HI.
HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD.
I'M GOING TO GO PLAY POOL,
SO SEE YOU ALL
LATER.
YOU SHOULD HAVE
HIT ON HER
WHEN WE FIRST CAME IN.
I DON'T GET IT.
I MEAN, WHAT DOES SHANE HAVE
THAT I DON'T HAVE?
IT HAS TO DO
WITH HER ATTITUDE.
I'VE GOT ATTITUDE.
IT'S BECAUSE
SHE'S SO WITHHOLDING.
NO.
IT'S BECAUSE
SHE'S SO CONFIDENT.
NO, IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S STUPID,
AND STUPID PEOPLE
ARE TOO DUMB TO BE INSECURE.
DANA, SHE'S YOUR FRIEND.
IT'S CONFIDENCE,
OKAY?
I'M TELLING YOU.
AND IT'S BECAUSE
OF HER NIPPLES.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
IT'S BECAUSE OF HER NIPPLES?
SHE HAS THE BEST
NIPPLES IN TOWN,
AND SHE KNOWS IT.
OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE SO RIGHT.
SHE HAS NIPPLE CONFIDENCE.
THEY ARE NICE.
YEAH,
THEY'RE SMALL
AND THEY'RE
PERFECTLY FORMED.
I WONDER IF I COULD SELL A STORY
ON L.A.'S BEST NIPPLES.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE,
RIGHT?
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA
WANDER AROUND FOR A BIT.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YEAH, I'M GOOD.
HI, THERE.
NO, THANK YOU.
♪ ALONE ♪
♪ ON OUR OWN ♪
♪ WE'RE ALONE ♪
♪ ON OUR OWN ♪
♪ ALONE, ALONE ♪
♪ LOST IN A CROWD ♪
♪ I DID NOT CHOOSE ♪
♪ TO BE ALONE ♪
♪ ALONE WITH YOU ♪
♪ ALONE ♪
♪ ALONE WITH YOU ♪