1
00:00:02,461 --> 00:00:04,504
(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,658
Well, Michelle, we did it.
Happy graduation.

3
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:42,709
You know,
living at my parents' house,

4
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:46,003
that's a temporary thing.

5
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:49,882
We've been going out for,
what, three years.

6
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:52,593
You're not,
like, getting bored
with things, are you?

7
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,846
Michelle, I'm gonna
ask you something

8
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:57,140
that I've never
asked you before.

9
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,433
Is it kinky?

10
00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:00,143
I don't think so. No.

11
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,894
You don't have
to be embarrassed

12
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:05,440
if you wanna
add more spiciness
to our relationship.

13
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,192
Actually,

14
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,612
maybe you could just,
you know,

15
00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:13,781
use your napkin.

16
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,032
My napkin?

17
00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:18,327
MAN: Mr. Levenstein?
Yes.

18
00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:19,912
You have a phone call.
Excuse me.

19
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,539
Thank you.

20
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,125
Hello?
Jim, it's Dad.

21
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,918
You left the ring at home.

22
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,880
The box is empty.
But I'm on my way,

23
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:33,426
and I've got the ring,
so don't panic, Son.
Okay? Bye.

24
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,719
(PHONE BEEPS OFF)

25
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,345
Who was that?

26
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:38,681
Uh...

27
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,684
That was my dad.
That was my dad.

28
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:45,021
He couldn't get through on...
I didn't answer my cell,

29
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,441
so he was
getting all worried.
You know how he is.

30
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:52,695
(STUTTERING)
But everything is okay now.
Everything is perfectly fine.

31
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:56,032
I think I know what
you're gonna ask me.

32
00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,870
That's okay. I don't
have to use my napkin.

33
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,663
What?

34
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,081
I've got my own techniques.

35
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,505
Michelle, where you going?
Michelle?

36
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,799
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

37
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:14,175
Okay.
(BELT UNBUCKLES)

38
00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:15,968
(GROANS)

39
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,887
Michelle. Okay.

40
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:21,724
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Michelle.

41
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:22,934
Psst!

42
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,354
I think you need to stop.
Okay, keep going.

43
00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,772
(SHUDDERS)

44
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,316
Oh, my God. Michelle?

45
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:34,111
Michelle...

46
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,446
(MUMBLES)

47
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,281
Oh, my God.

48
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,491
Okay.

49
00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:39,659
Well, I made it.

50
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,577
Where's Michelle? Washroom?

51
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,996
I was so nervous
she was gonna spot me.

52
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,832
Here's the ring, Son.
Oh!

53
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:48,584
Let me tell you something.
This is some ring.

54
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,587
Look at the rock
on this baby,
Mr. Big Spender.

55
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,506
I hope you
didn't blow your wad
on this, Son.

56
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,757
Not yet.

57
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:58,761
Your mother and I
could not be more thrilled
for you, Jim.

58
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:00,096
I mean, we're so happy.

59
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:02,515
And I know you're excited,
I can see it in your face.

60
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,934
I mean, you look like
you're ready to burst.

61
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:06,686
I mean, your cheeks,
they're flush.

62
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,271
I wish your mother
could be here.

63
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:09,689
Not me.
That's what I wish.

64
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:13,276
You know, this is one
of those moments, Jim,

65
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,279
that you're gonna remember
for the rest of your life.

66
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,613
Yes, it is.

67
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:21,200
You bet it is.

68
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:24,161
I cannot believe my son
is gonna pop the question.

69
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,246
(THUD)

70
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,455
What was that?

71
00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:27,623
That?

72
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:34,297
Knocking on wood.
What is this...
Popping what? What question?

73
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:35,423
You're a wreck.

74
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,549
What?

75
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:40,219
You need some air.
You need some air.
Okay, walk me to my car.

76
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,429
No, I'm not walking...

77
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:42,722
Listen to me!
It's for your good.

78
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:43,890
(ALL GASPING)

79
00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:45,057
Dad.

80
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,809
Oh! Son!
My pants!

81
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,352
Your penis!

82
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,896
I got my pants, Dad!

83
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,230
What the hell...

84
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,398
(GASPING)

85
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:53,691
Jeez! God, Dad.

86
00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:55,067
Wear your pants.

87
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,069
I got the pants!
What are you doing?

88
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,362
He had abdominal cramps...

89
00:03:58,488 --> 00:03:59,739
I can explain all this.

90
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,490
Everybody calm
down here, quiet!

91
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,326
Lower your voice.

92
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,621
Disgusting.

93
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,460
Now,

94
00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,005
I came here to do something,

95
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,467
(SIGHS) and damn it,
I'm gonna do it.

96
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:25,973
Michelle?

97
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,684
(CROWD GASPING)

98
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,395
Hello, dear.

99
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,859
Michelle Annabeth Flaherty,

100
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,236
I love you

101
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:45,660
more than I could
ever explain
at this particular moment.

102
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,500
Dad, the ring.

103
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,044
Oh.

104
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:01,717
Will you marry me?

105
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,386
Yes.

106
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:16,023
My son.

107
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:30,037
I'm the happiest
man in the world.

108
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:32,748
(CROWD GASPING)

109
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,168
We should all be so happy.

110
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,296
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

111
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,871
Cheers. Gentlemen.
Sweetheart.

112
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,833
I'm impressed.

113
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,335
Marriage is a binding,

114
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,380
unifying, eternal,

115
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:27,553
never-ending,
permanent chaining
together of two people.

116
00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:31,515
Jim, have you
thought this through?

117
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:32,933
Yes.

118
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:37,021
Finch, thank you.
I had been trying to
figure it out for a while.

119
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,940
You know,
when is the right time?
Is there a right time?

120
00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:43,986
Then finally I realized,
"Duh, you love the girl.
Marry her."

121
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,279
Aw.

122
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:46,447
(POP MUSIC PLAYING ON JUKEBOX)

123
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,074
Oh! Let's dance.

124
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,659
Dance? No.

125
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,579
No, you have
to learn sometime.
Come on.

126
00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,710
Don't laugh at me.

127
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,130
Yeah, okay.

128
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,382
Just glad that's not me.

129
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:06,967
Finch,

130
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,220
you don't think
there's one girl

131
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,722
you're destined
to spend your
entire life with?

132
00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:14,934
They're all for me, Kevin.

133
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,521
Not so bad? All right.

134
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,481
Do this.
(GROANS)

135
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,025
I'm sorry.

136
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,945
The wedding should be
rather entertaining.

137
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,076
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

138
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,334
Bro, that's it?

139
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,379
There's no keg anywhere.

140
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,590
Jim.
Hey, John.

141
00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:50,094
The food and
the drink are really bad.

142
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,305
"F" for presentation.
The good news for you...

143
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,515
What's that?

144
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,226
We're gonna be
ushers at the wedding.

145
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,062
(SIGHS)

146
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:03,732
This is amazing.
I don't recognize half
the people in this place.

147
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:04,817
(DOORBELL RINGS)

148
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,527
At least they
all brought gifts.

149
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,820
Hello.

150
00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:09,196
Hello. I'm Mary Flaherty.

151
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,489
Oh! Hello!

152
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,866
Harold Flaherty.

153
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,534
Hi.
How lovely to meet you.

154
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:16,203
Please come in.
We've been expecting you.

155
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:17,413
How was your trip?

156
00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:18,664
Delightful.

157
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,833
Who's excited
about the wedding?

158
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,043
Anxious might
be more accurate.

159
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:25,421
We've never met your son.

160
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,131
You'll get to meet him.

161
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,258
Rudy and Sam would
like to meet him, too.

162
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,384
Better bring them
in from the car.

163
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,552
They've been
cooped up for hours.

164
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,470
For heaven's sake.
You brought your sons?

165
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:34,638
Our dogs.

166
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:35,890
We never travel without them.

167
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,057
Oh, my goodness.

168
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:40,477
Well, honey, why don't
you go get those
critters out of the car

169
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,687
and we'll start
on some cocktails.

170
00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:42,938
Thank you.

171
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,440
I'd love one.
Long trip?

172
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,025
I'll get the dogs.

173
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,403
There's one thing
that'll make this
wedding perfect.

174
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,155
No Stifler.

175
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,866
That's one dick
we are not inviting.

176
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,242
Motion seconded.

177
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,619
Motion carried.

178
00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:01,165
So, Finch,
what are you gonna do with
that fancy NYU diploma?

179
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,833
I'll frame it.

180
00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:05,294
Then I'll write my memoirs.

181
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,171
You should come
to law school, man.

182
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,131
You know I could
use the company.

183
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:12,217
Kids,
Michelle's parents are here.
Come on, we're waiting.

184
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,345
Oh, crumbs on the shirt.
That's bad.

185
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,513
Okay, that's fine.
I'll change. I'll change.

186
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,018
Fuckers!

187
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:34,740
Well, polish my nuts
and serve me a milkshake.

188
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,456
What's up?

189
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,503
That's right.

190
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:54,176
Oh! Cake?
Hope it's good.

191
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:58,263
Oh, gee.

192
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,475
Thanks for inviting me
to the graduation party,
fucker.

193
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,018
(SCOFFS)

194
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:10,943
Oh! Fucking right, doggy.
That's good cake! Holy shit!

195
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:12,945
Hi. How are you?
Congratulations.

196
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,780
Hey...

197
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:16,865
(GIGGLES)

198
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,035
"Congratulation, Jism!"

199
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,538
Excuse me. Stifler?

200
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,123
Hey, Jim!

201
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,457
Stifler,
what are you doing here?

202
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:26,500
Okay, man...

203
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:27,626
Happy fuckday, assmouth!

204
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:28,752
Put the cake down.

205
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:29,878
Check it out.
I made it all by myself.

206
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:31,463
Cute.
What happened to my invite?

207
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:32,715
Got lost in the mail,
fuckface?

208
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:33,799
Quiet!

209
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,468
Bite yourself.
That's what I thought.

210
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:37,720
I think I can
spell "Cajun Rectum."

211
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:39,054
Seriously, man.

212
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,305
Oh, Jesus.

213
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:41,640
Damn it, Stifler.

214
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:42,766
Jim, look what you did!

215
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:43,976
Look what I did?

216
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,729
Look at this shit!
What am I supposed to do now?

217
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,565
Are you happy now, man?
Why are you here?

218
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:50,899
My dick looks like
a corn dog.

219
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,401
I got cake
all over my balls.

220
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,069
JIM'S MOM: Jim, honey?

221
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,154
Shit.

222
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,697
The Flahertys are waiting.

223
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,323
Do you think
he's upstairs, honey?

224
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,742
Oh, you're fucked now, Jim.

225
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,452
(STIFLER CACKLES)

226
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,120
(GROWLING)

227
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,371
(BARKING)

228
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,292
Stifler, get up.

229
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,668
This dog's great!

230
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,420
Is it weird
that it feels good?

231
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,504
(LAUGHING)

232
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,006
All right...

233
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:15,966
What about the dining room?

234
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,342
I know you'll just love him.

235
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,053
Jesus, Stifler.

236
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:21,889
Stop enjoying it so much.

237
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,348
Lick it up!

238
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,438
You little shit.
Take your pants off, man.

239
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,481
(GASPING)
(SCREAMING)

240
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:33,275
Good Lord!

241
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:34,693
Oh, God!
Jim?

242
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,320
No, it's not
what it looks like.

243
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,030
What are you doing, Son?

244
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,907
My dogs!
Don't go in there, darling!

245
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,200
Lord knows what
they'll do to you!

246
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,534
I love this dog!

247
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,203
I was trying to
get him off, Dad.

248
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,954
That is your son?

249
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,998
Back away from the animal.

250
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:50,084
Mr. And Mrs. Flaherty,
I presume.

251
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,710
STIFLER: Where are you going?

252
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,464
Well, lunch is served.

253
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,884
I really hope (STUTTERING)

254
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:03,889
That we can all
just forget about this,
and move on, and start again.

255
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:05,599
Start again fresh.

256
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:08,477
Jim, if you hope to be
the provider and protector

257
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,646
for our firstborn daughter,

258
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,189
you have a long way to go.

259
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,774
Thank you, sir.

260
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,151
They think
you're an angel

261
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,530
and I'm just some
ungrateful dog rapist.

262
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,617
They just think they raised
the proper little band girl.

263
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:26,120
And, besides, sometimes

264
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,997
it's nice to be
more traditional.

265
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,999
How so? How do
you mean traditional?

266
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:33,502
I'm thinking
about the wedding.

267
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,421
How it's just this one day,

268
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:40,759
one day where
everyone's eyes are
on me for a change.

269
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:43,095
I've just never
walked into a room

270
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:46,431
and had everyone go,
"Ooh" and "Ah"

271
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:48,851
and "Isn't she elegant?"

272
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:52,479
That is exactly
how our wedding
is going to be.

273
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,273
I promise.

274
00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:00,779
Shit. I got a frosted
ass crack. Hey, Finch?

275
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,365
You want this
for here or to go?

276
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,952
"A witty saying
proves nothing." Voltaire.

277
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,580
"Suck my dick." Ron Jeremy.

278
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,041
Boys, anybody seen
the bride's parents?

279
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,043
No? Hmm.

280
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,255
Wait a second.

281
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:19,631
Come on, Stifler.

282
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:20,716
This isn't
a graduation party.

283
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,842
It's time to go.

284
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:25,429
Wait, hold on!
Jim's getting married,
isn't he?

285
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,056
Holy fucking shit!
This is major!

286
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,225
Do you have the slightest idea
how important this is?

287
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,270
We get to have
a bachelor party. Yes!

288
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,273
We celebrate the death of Jim
with a party in his honor.

289
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,192
Chicks and boobs.
Tits and ass.

290
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,110
Titties, ta-tas,
casabas, bazoongas,

291
00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:41,945
all up in our frigging faces!

292
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,114
Come on, buck up, fellows!
Show some enthusiasm!

293
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:47,367
It's gonna be fucking great!
Oh, my God!

294
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,330
Finch,
he does make a good point.

295
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,081
Yeah, he does.

296
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,296
You never heard me say that.

297
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,424
I do not deserve
a girl this cool.

298
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,968
Michelle said the wedding
was doable, right?

299
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,054
A wedding. A wedding, yeah.

300
00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:11,058
I promised her her wedding.
You know, the wedding
of her dreams.

301
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:12,351
Okay, what's the problem?

302
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,727
Dancing.

303
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:16,647
She's gonna want to dance.
There's that whole tradition.

304
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:18,273
The first dance
at the reception.

305
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,734
She is gonna wanna dance
Fred Astaire kind of shit.

306
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:21,944
I can't do that.

307
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,363
She learned all
that from band camp.

308
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,240
Okay, so you take lessons,
you know. Right away.

309
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,368
Lessons. Okay.
I have to convince

310
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,536
her parents that
I'm not a shithead.

311
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,080
Yeah, challenging.

312
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:34,164
Indeed challenging.

313
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,166
But doable. What else?

314
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,086
What else?
I don't know what else.
That's the thing.

315
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,004
She cares
too much to tell me.

316
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,840
She doesn't want me to worry
that she might be worried.

317
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,175
So I'm worried.

318
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,593
Recon.

319
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:52,140
You mean, like,
spying on Michelle?

320
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,518
Spying is deceitful.

321
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,897
Extra attention
means you're concerned.

322
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,399
This is true.
This is good.

323
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:01,984
Guys,

324
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:03,694
here's to the next step.

325
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,070
Shut up with that stepping.

326
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,530
Put your glass down.

327
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,991
(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

328
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,430
(INAUDIBLE)

329
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:40,188
We'll find a wonderful one
somewhere, I promise.

330
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,065
We'll keep looking.

331
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:48,405
Is everything okay here?
The study can get a little
chilly sometimes.

332
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:49,531
You have enough blankets?

333
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:50,782
We're fine. Thank you.

334
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,868
I was kind of hoping

335
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:56,747
that someday soon,
we could have a little talk.

336
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,832
I'd really like to tell you

337
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:01,585
why I think I'll make
a good husband,

338
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,211
whenever you get a chance.

339
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:04,713
Oh! Why is that?

340
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,298
Come on.
(DOG BARKS)

341
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:12,846
See, I was saying
that soon we could talk.

342
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:16,641
(STUTTERING)
This right now is sort
of the preliminary talk

343
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:20,771
before the future
longer talk,

344
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:23,607
which would be like a quiet,

345
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,650
a private dinner talk.

346
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:26,735
(YIPPING)

347
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:28,403
Let him finish.

348
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:29,613
(DOG PANTING)

349
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:30,739
(DOG YIPPING)

350
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,991
I'm talking to you.
(MRS. FLAHERTY SHUSHING)

351
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:34,868
Okay.

352
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,456
Good talking to you.

353
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:46,004
No. These aren't gonna work.

354
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,508
Wow!

355
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:54,096
You guys in
a sporting goods store.
Very good.

356
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,014
Hey, Finch,

357
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,184
I think they got your size.

358
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:00,560
Oh, beautiful.

359
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,771
Jim needs to learn to
dance for his wedding.

360
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,107
You know,
I think he's screwed.

361
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,818
Of course he's screwed.
He's getting married.

362
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:10,445
I can't wait to
see this disaster.

363
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,406
What makes you think
you're invited?

364
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,661
(SLURPING)

365
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:22,624
I already called up
Jim's mom. Got the info.

366
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,918
I'm preparing for
the festivities.

367
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:28,755
It's time for me to boom-boom
with the bridesmaids,
Finchfucker.

368
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,800
'Cause I'm gonna hang out
with my wang out.

369
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:36,471
And I'm gonna rock out
with my cock out!

370
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,224
Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.

371
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:40,350
(LAUGHS)

372
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,144
JIM: All right, Stifler.

373
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,147
This is a little
difficult to explain.

374
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:49,359
Look, you're okay.
You're okay.

375
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,610
I mean, I like you.

376
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,903
Yeah, great.

377
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:55,323
You can blow me
after practice.
I'm working, dude.

378
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,117
(YELLING)

379
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:58,910
Come on! Work it! Hustle!

380
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,412
See, my mom
didn't know that...

381
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,997
Push it! Move it! Come on!

382
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,582
There was a misunderstanding.

383
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:04,708
You're not invited!

384
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:05,917
Hold!

385
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,382
Dude, how the hell
do you even think
you're getting married?

386
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:15,302
I've been looking out
for your sex life
since high school.

387
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:17,179
You what?
Oh! Oh!

388
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,764
(LAUGHS)

389
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:24,895
The first tits
this guy ever saw
were because of me!

390
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,439
The first girl
he ever hooked up with

391
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:30,275
was at my party,
at my cottage!

392
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,694
That girl's
the girl he's marrying.

393
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,905
The Stiffman
showed him the way.

394
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,240
Can I get a hallelujah?

395
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,159
Hallelujah, Stifler!

396
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,119
But, my fuckers,

397
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:44,289
this mofo right here
does not want
the Stifmeister,

398
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:47,083
the Grand fucking Facilitator
to attend the wedding.

399
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,752
Who sucks donkey dick?

400
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,545
Jim sucks donkey dick!

401
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:53,590
The answer's no, okay?
I'm sorry.

402
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:54,674
The answer's no.

403
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:55,800
I can dance.

404
00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:57,010
What?

405
00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,054
I can dance.

406
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,139
(ALL CONTINUE CHANTING)

407
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:04,142
STIFLER:
Five, six, seven, eight...

408
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:08,980
Okay. What exactly
is this here?

409
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,191
Left box turn.

410
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:12,525
Left box turn. Okay.

411
00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,694
Hi. Stop looking
into my eyes.

412
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,071
Sorry. Sorry.

413
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,615
Now how do you know this?
How do you know
how to do this?

414
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,700
My mom made me take it
for three fuckin' years.

415
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,244
Yeah?
I hated it.

416
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:25,872
No, you're really good.
You should take
ballet or something.

417
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,290
Fuckface!

418
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:28,750
What part of
"this sucks my ass"

419
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,293
do you not
under-fuckin'-stand?

420
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:32,212
This is exactly
what I'm talking about,
Steven.

421
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,757
You can't behave like this.
If you wanna
come to the wedding,

422
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,467
I'm sorry,
you cannot act like this.

423
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,135
Are you saying
I'm impolite or something?

424
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,929
Impolite would
be an improvement.

425
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,640
Look, just try not to be,

426
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,141
you know, you.

427
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:48,770
(EXHALES DEEPLY)

428
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,981
Fuck this shit.
It's not worth it.

429
00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:53,024
Wait, Stifler. Hold on.

430
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:56,569
Okay, what if you planned
the bachelor party?

431
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:57,988
With a dildo show?

432
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:03,868
Sure. If you can
find the time to fit it in,
go ahead.

433
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,495
Surprise me.
Sorry, chief.

434
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,038
It only gets
you halfway there.

435
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,456
What do you mean?

436
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,710
I need assurances that
I'm gonna get some quality
action at this wedding.

437
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,753
(STUTTERING) I'm sorry,
I can't make that promise.

438
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,298
Well, let me put it
to you this way, Jimbo.

439
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:20,468
No pussy, no dancing. Okay?

440
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,471
No pussy, no dancing.

441
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,348
How's that for polite?

442
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,474
(RAZZING)

443
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:27,809
(CACKLES)

444
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,981
Jim, your suspicions
are confirmed.

445
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,900
Michelle wants a dress
that she can't get.

446
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:40,196
The dress she wants is Amsale.
They have a store in Chicago.

447
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:43,825
If we leave right now,
we can get there by
the time they close.

448
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:44,993
It's a three-hour drive.

449
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,244
STIFLER:
Three-hour drive?

450
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:50,165
Kick fucking ass!
Are we going to Chicago
to see titties?

451
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,543
We are talking about
getting Michelle
a dress in Chicago.

452
00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:55,587
Now, please vanish.

453
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,881
Hey, Finch, what's
the capital of Thailand?

454
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,425
Bang cock.

455
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:01,843
(LAUGHS)

456
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,845
Dude...
Okay, I got shotgun.

457
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:04,929
(GROANING)

458
00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:12,437
STIFLER: Let's get this
dress shit over with.

459
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:15,774
The strip bar's
got free hot wings
before 7:00.

460
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:19,694
Now, Jim, let me handle this.
These are my people.

461
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:20,945
They're gay?

462
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:22,572
No, you bleeding imbecile,

463
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:26,076
they have style.
They're cultured.
They're sophisticated.

464
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:27,786
So they're gay.

465
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:31,247
So, mademoiselle,
I'm sure that
you can appreciate

466
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:34,709
that monsieur here
is stuck right between
Scylla and Charybdis.

467
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:37,420
(CHUCKLES)
Yes, I'm afraid
he's no Ulysses.

468
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,130
Okay, what's happening here?

469
00:21:39,382 --> 00:21:41,424
You need to speak
to my dressmaker.

470
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:43,468
That's who would
actually make the dress,

471
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,762
and I'm afraid Leslie
has gone for the day.

472
00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:57,774
All right, she said
she'd probably be at

473
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,317
one of these bars
here on Halstead.

474
00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:02,320
I say we split up, ask around
for a Leslie Summers.

475
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:03,613
Right.

476
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,756
Hey there,
sweet little thing.

477
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,967
Hey there,
you sweet manly thing.

478
00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:26,052
You know,
I really love your shirt.

479
00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:27,554
Do I know you?

480
00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:29,264
I'm Jennifer.

481
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:34,310
Well, Jennifer,
just relax, take it slow,
and let the good times roll,

482
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,271
because Daddy's
a regular here!

483
00:22:36,397 --> 00:22:37,856
Do you wanna get a drink?

484
00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:40,150
You're goddamn right I do.
(WHOOPS)

485
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:44,529
Two cold ones.

486
00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:47,365
You know, my friend would
really dig your vibe.

487
00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:48,450
Will you wait here?

488
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:49,492
Sure thing, babe.

489
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:51,411
Good.
All right.

490
00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:53,413
How you feeling, sexy?

491
00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:54,622
Pretty good.

492
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,875
Whoa! You have a deep voice.

493
00:22:56,959 --> 00:22:58,334
That's not all.

494
00:22:58,419 --> 00:22:59,419
(LAUGHS)

495
00:22:59,503 --> 00:23:00,712
Oh! Right.

496
00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:03,256
You look
really cute tonight.

497
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,091
Thanks. I guess.

498
00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:07,302
What the...

499
00:23:07,428 --> 00:23:08,428
(SMACKS)

500
00:23:09,346 --> 00:23:11,681
Oh, hey!
Feeling a little frisky?

501
00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:12,849
Oh!

502
00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:16,019
Game over.
What's happening here?

503
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:20,940
Hey. Any luck?

504
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:22,442
Not so much.

505
00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:24,152
All right, let's...

506
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:29,115
This is Bear.

507
00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:30,658
Hey!

508
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,036
Wow, you are a bear.

509
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,537
(BOTH ROAR)

510
00:23:35,498 --> 00:23:36,664
Yeah.
(BARKS)

511
00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:39,876
How much you bench?

512
00:23:40,002 --> 00:23:41,377
How much you weigh?

513
00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:43,922
Why? You wanna try
and pick me up?

514
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,466
Yeah, I think I could.

515
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:48,218
Yeah, I bet you could.

516
00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:51,888
You are big.
I could use a guy
like you on my team.

517
00:23:52,473 --> 00:23:56,518
Are you talking
about our team?
Or an actual team?

518
00:23:56,936 --> 00:24:00,813
What the hell is "our team"?
Hi, where's the girl?

519
00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:03,358
(GASPS) What the fuck
are we talking about?

520
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:05,985
You need to take
another look around.

521
00:24:09,323 --> 00:24:10,532
You look fabulous!

522
00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:11,866
Hey, honey.

523
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:14,702
Oh, my God.
What the fuck is going on?

524
00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:16,329
(ALL LAUGHING)

525
00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:19,832
Come on,
is that all you've got?

526
00:24:19,917 --> 00:24:21,084
(GASPS)

527
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:22,502
Pussy!

528
00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:26,381
I must have came
to the wrong place.
Stifler.

529
00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:28,508
Stifler.
Oh, man.

530
00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:30,385
Hey.
It's so good to see you.

531
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:32,887
How did you get up the nerve
to check out a gay bar?

532
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:36,099
Really don't wanna
talk about it right now.
I just wanna go home.

533
00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:37,225
Your friend here
was just leaving.

534
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:38,309
Eat shit.

535
00:24:38,394 --> 00:24:39,769
Did you find Leslie?

536
00:24:39,895 --> 00:24:41,271
Fuck your stupid dressmaker.

537
00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:42,897
You guys know Leslie Summers?

538
00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:44,607
We're trying to find her.

539
00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:48,528
You know what?
I think you guys
are out of luck.

540
00:24:48,612 --> 00:24:49,612
Why don't you go home?

541
00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:51,823
No. You know Leslie Summers?
He knows her.

542
00:24:51,907 --> 00:24:54,993
My friends and I,
we just drove
all the way from Michigan

543
00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:57,704
to find my fiancée
the wedding dress
that she deserves.

544
00:24:57,788 --> 00:24:59,414
We need Leslie
to make it for us.

545
00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,207
Can you please
help us find her?

546
00:25:01,292 --> 00:25:04,544
I'm sure Leslie always helps
associates of assholes.

547
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,382
What are you looking at?
I'm not a steak.

548
00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:13,261
Listen, breeder,
not every gay man wants
to have sex with you.

549
00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:17,557
Yeah? Listen up, ass jockey.
If I were gay, you'd want me!

550
00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:19,601
Really?
Really.

551
00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:24,022
I got style. I'm cultured.
I'm sophisticated.

552
00:25:24,106 --> 00:25:28,234
And all that just radiates
from your oh-so-sexy self.

553
00:25:28,319 --> 00:25:32,071
That's bullshit.
Everyone wants a piece
of the Stifmeister.

554
00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:33,698
(ALL LAUGHING)

555
00:25:34,825 --> 00:25:36,784
Yeah, right!

556
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,247
Without a doubt.

557
00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:44,250
I'll show you fuckers.
Bye.

558
00:25:44,335 --> 00:25:46,169
Everybody say bye.
Bye.

559
00:25:48,714 --> 00:25:49,672
Bye.

560
00:25:49,757 --> 00:25:51,507
Good luck with the dress.

561
00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:56,179
Give us a drink.

562
00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:02,727
(SONG CHANGES)

563
00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:04,937
(OMINOUS SYNTHESIZED MUSIC)

564
00:26:06,607 --> 00:26:07,649
(CROWD MURMURING)

565
00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:13,363
(UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)

566
00:26:27,336 --> 00:26:28,878
Mother of God.

567
00:26:46,563 --> 00:26:47,814
Bitch!

568
00:26:48,482 --> 00:26:49,982
(SONG CHANGES)

569
00:26:57,991 --> 00:26:59,575
(WOMAN WHOOPING)

570
00:27:00,661 --> 00:27:02,453
What is this, a dance-off?

571
00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:06,374
Oh, yeah?

572
00:27:13,716 --> 00:27:52,336
(SONG CHANGES)

573
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:31,918
(ALL CHEERING)

574
00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:38,424
I love you!

575
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:40,134
What?

576
00:28:40,552 --> 00:28:43,513
Fabulous. Seeing that
was worth anything.

577
00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:46,557
Look, I'm Leslie Summers
and you've got yourself
a dress.

578
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:51,938
Oh, my God.
Thank you. Thank you.

579
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:55,191
Yeah, no problem.
Say, who's your friend?

580
00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:56,526
(STUTTERS) Kevin.

581
00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:04,116
Was that the best
night ever or what?

582
00:29:04,201 --> 00:29:05,284
Are you kidding me?

583
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:06,494
Yeah, it was amazing.

584
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:07,995
Hey, guys!

585
00:29:09,706 --> 00:29:13,584
When you get your
bachelor party together,
I manage some girls in town.

586
00:29:14,002 --> 00:29:15,044
Real ones.

587
00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:16,212
All right.

588
00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:19,006
Call me.

589
00:29:19,216 --> 00:29:21,759
Damn, Stiffy,
you got some moves.

590
00:29:28,016 --> 00:29:30,309
I told you that guy
wanted to fuck me.

591
00:29:30,394 --> 00:29:31,727
(LAUGHING)

592
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:35,314
I can't believe this.
They're really gonna
make the dress for me?

593
00:29:35,399 --> 00:29:37,608
They're expecting your call.
Go ahead.

594
00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:40,778
This is so cool.
I love you.

595
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,613
Thank you.

596
00:29:44,408 --> 00:29:46,367
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

597
00:29:47,411 --> 00:29:49,120
Well, that worked out.

598
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:53,499
Maybe it's time
we had that special
dinner chat.

599
00:29:53,709 --> 00:29:55,376
I'll have turkey.

600
00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:02,008
Thanks for helping out.

601
00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:04,844
We're so close
and there's still
so much to do.

602
00:30:07,890 --> 00:30:09,056
Cadence!

603
00:30:20,152 --> 00:30:21,277
Hey!
Hi!

604
00:30:23,614 --> 00:30:27,575
Cadence, this is Paul Finch.
Finch, meet my
younger sister, Cadence.

605
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:28,910
Nice to meet you.

606
00:30:29,036 --> 00:30:30,328
You're reading Descartes.

607
00:30:30,704 --> 00:30:35,291
Yeah. Cogito ergo sum.
"I think, therefore I am."

608
00:30:36,126 --> 00:30:40,004
Hungry.

609
00:30:42,299 --> 00:30:44,425
So, when's Mark getting in?

610
00:30:44,551 --> 00:30:46,719
Let's see.
That would be never.

611
00:30:47,638 --> 00:30:48,888
Did you guys break up?

612
00:30:49,056 --> 00:30:50,306
How tragic.

613
00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:53,392
Sorry, Paul Finch.
Girl stuff.

614
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:55,561
(AIRPLANE ENGINE ROARING)

615
00:30:59,608 --> 00:31:00,942
Just stay calm.

616
00:31:01,443 --> 00:31:04,195
I'm available,
she's available.
It's all good.

617
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,990
She's a beautiful girl,
and you're you.

618
00:31:08,075 --> 00:31:09,408
(BREATHES DEEPLY)

619
00:31:09,493 --> 00:31:10,701
MICHELLE: Spill it, sister.
What's the problem?

620
00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:12,036
I dumped him.

621
00:31:12,287 --> 00:31:16,207
But it was Mark.
I thought you really
liked him. He was nice.

622
00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:20,586
Yeah, but sometimes
nice isn't so nice.

623
00:31:21,588 --> 00:31:23,547
Wait. Hold on.
Let me get this straight.

624
00:31:23,632 --> 00:31:25,091
He didn't want to do it.

625
00:31:25,175 --> 00:31:27,093
He said he didn't
want to ruin what we had

626
00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:29,136
by deflowering ourselves.

627
00:31:29,221 --> 00:31:31,514
Who the hell uses
the word "deflower"?

628
00:31:31,598 --> 00:31:32,974
(MICHELLE GROANS)

629
00:31:33,058 --> 00:31:34,225
It's like
something Mom would say.

630
00:31:34,351 --> 00:31:35,559
Yeah.

631
00:31:35,769 --> 00:31:39,271
And I'm starting to realize
Mom and Dad's idea of
appropriate behavior

632
00:31:39,690 --> 00:31:42,233
might be a little bit
different than mine.

633
00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:44,568
Mish, you're in love.
Shh.

634
00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:46,946
You're getting married.
I mean, what's this like?

635
00:31:47,114 --> 00:31:48,364
It's like it's...

636
00:31:48,782 --> 00:31:50,825
I'm never going to
be able to explain it.

637
00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:53,369
I wanted us to
write our own vows
for the wedding

638
00:31:53,453 --> 00:31:55,162
and now I can't do mine.

639
00:31:56,164 --> 00:31:58,040
How do you explain love?

640
00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:01,252
I guess I wouldn't know.

641
00:32:01,336 --> 00:32:04,130
I don't think
I've ever felt
that way about a guy.

642
00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:05,381
Someday you will.

643
00:32:05,507 --> 00:32:06,674
Maybe.

644
00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:09,135
But in the meantime,
I don't think it would hurt

645
00:32:09,302 --> 00:32:11,178
to get a little
rowdy this weekend.

646
00:32:11,513 --> 00:32:15,016
Jim's got
single friends, right?
Is Finch a possibility?

647
00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:16,767
Finch is bonable.

648
00:32:16,852 --> 00:32:18,519
Yes, he is bonable.

649
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:19,729
(THUD)

650
00:32:19,813 --> 00:32:20,938
(WATER SLOSHING)

651
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:27,153
Dickhead. Do not send shit
to my office at school.

652
00:32:27,237 --> 00:32:29,947
Hey, Stifler, why don't
you come in and make
yourself comfortable?

653
00:32:30,032 --> 00:32:31,407
Your letter made
a great impression

654
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:32,950
on Coach Marshall
when he read it.

655
00:32:33,035 --> 00:32:35,036
Let me refresh
your memory, partner.

656
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,872
"Dear Steve, I will
be forever in your debt
if you teach me to dance

657
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:39,457
"like you did
in the gay bar."

658
00:32:39,541 --> 00:32:41,375
I put serious thought
into that letter.

659
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:45,504
Don't push me,
'cause I'm close to the edge.

660
00:32:45,589 --> 00:32:48,257
I'm trying not
to lose my head.

661
00:32:48,341 --> 00:32:50,259
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
(LAUGHS)

662
00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:55,056
CADENCE: These are really
nice for a bridesmaid dress.

663
00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:58,184
At least something
you can actually wear again.

664
00:32:58,769 --> 00:33:01,270
You don't think
it's too sexy, do you?

665
00:33:01,354 --> 00:33:03,439
I mean, I don't want to seem
slutty or anything.

666
00:33:03,523 --> 00:33:05,357
I'm trying to
attract a decent guy here.

667
00:33:05,776 --> 00:33:08,486
MICHELLE: It's a wedding.
They'll all be decent guys.

668
00:33:09,237 --> 00:33:12,156
I just don't feel
quite like a virgin in it.

669
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,532
Oh!

670
00:33:17,579 --> 00:33:19,955
So, you guys
have to be psyched
to be done with college.

671
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,167
I mean, I swear,
I'm running out of room
in my brain for everything.

672
00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:26,295
There's always room
for Plato and Aristotle.

673
00:33:26,463 --> 00:33:28,339
Some of my favorites.

674
00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:32,009
Excuse me, guys.

675
00:33:32,594 --> 00:33:35,638
Finch, she thinks
you were being sarcastic.

676
00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:38,474
STIFLER: Okay.
It's so good to see you.

677
00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:42,228
You want some help?
Here, let me help
you out there.

678
00:33:42,395 --> 00:33:45,773
There you go.
You keep fighting
the good fight, sir.

679
00:33:47,984 --> 00:33:49,443
That's great.

680
00:33:49,903 --> 00:33:51,195
That was really
sweet of you.

681
00:33:51,321 --> 00:33:52,613
Yeah.

682
00:33:53,490 --> 00:33:55,699
I love old people, you know?

683
00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:56,909
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

684
00:33:57,077 --> 00:34:00,037
Hey, I hate to be
nosy and impolite,

685
00:34:00,122 --> 00:34:02,164
but do you know
Jim Levenstein
and Michelle Flaherty?

686
00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:03,874
Yeah.
Are they here?

687
00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:05,751
Well, I'm Cadence,
Michelle's sister.

688
00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:09,004
I had no idea. I'm their
good friend, Steven.

689
00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:10,214
Nice to meet you.

690
00:34:10,340 --> 00:34:11,507
Yeah, you, too.

691
00:34:11,591 --> 00:34:13,676
Well, they're around town
doing some wedding stuff.

692
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:14,844
That's cool.

693
00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:17,805
But there's still a few
of us in the other room
if you want to join us.

694
00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:19,598
I don't know.

695
00:34:19,933 --> 00:34:22,351
You look so nice.
I feel underdressed.

696
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:24,603
Well, I think you look great.

697
00:34:24,771 --> 00:34:25,855
Thank you.

698
00:34:26,773 --> 00:34:28,440
Oh, here they are.

699
00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:30,401
Hi, boys.
Don't stand up.

700
00:34:31,361 --> 00:34:32,611
The dads aren't here yet?

701
00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:34,071
I'll go find them.

702
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,907
Which one of you
is the best man?

703
00:34:36,992 --> 00:34:40,953
Jim didn't pick just one.
Or I mean,
he couldn't decide.

704
00:34:41,538 --> 00:34:43,122
Hey, Paul. Hey, Kevin.

705
00:34:43,290 --> 00:34:44,874
CADENCE: Mom,
I want you to meet Steven.

706
00:34:45,292 --> 00:34:49,211
He's friends
of Jim's and mine
and everyone's.

707
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:51,839
You look
very familiar, Steven.

708
00:34:51,965 --> 00:34:53,966
Really? I'm afraid
we've never met.
Oh.

709
00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:55,968
Well, we have now.

710
00:34:56,136 --> 00:34:57,136
Oh!

711
00:34:57,387 --> 00:35:00,306
Looks like you
found Samantha's Sweets.
Oh!

712
00:35:00,390 --> 00:35:02,975
Isn't their
chocolate just to die for?

713
00:35:03,185 --> 00:35:04,393
You have no idea.

714
00:35:04,519 --> 00:35:05,769
Actually, I do.

715
00:35:05,854 --> 00:35:07,146
I love chocolate
more than...

716
00:35:07,314 --> 00:35:08,647
More than life itself!

717
00:35:08,732 --> 00:35:10,983
I was just
saying to your friends

718
00:35:11,484 --> 00:35:13,736
I have something
very precious here.

719
00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:15,029
What is it?

720
00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:19,491
Michelle's grandmother's,
my mother's, wedding ring.

721
00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:21,619
Isn't that precious?

722
00:35:21,703 --> 00:35:23,996
Since all of you
are the best man,

723
00:35:24,164 --> 00:35:26,498
I don't know
who should hold onto it.

724
00:35:26,583 --> 00:35:27,875
I think it's best if I...

725
00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:28,959
Oh, um...

726
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:33,672
I think you
should get to know us
first and then decide.

727
00:35:34,382 --> 00:35:37,051
You are such
a gentleman, Steve.

728
00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:39,970
I hear that all the time,
but it never gets old.

729
00:35:40,430 --> 00:35:42,139
Hey, Paul,
do you have a camera?

730
00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:44,016
How thoughtful.

731
00:35:44,100 --> 00:35:45,351
(MOUTHING)

732
00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:49,146
I must've forgotten
my camera at home, Steven.

733
00:35:49,231 --> 00:35:51,523
Maybe you could take,
like, a mental note.

734
00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:53,025
(CHUCKLES)

735
00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:54,652
I won't forget this moment.

736
00:35:54,778 --> 00:35:55,986
I'll bet you won't.

737
00:35:56,071 --> 00:35:57,613
Would you care to
join us, Steven?

738
00:35:57,739 --> 00:35:59,281
I'd love to. Thank you.

739
00:35:59,366 --> 00:36:00,824
Good to see you fellows.
Thank you.

740
00:36:00,909 --> 00:36:02,284
(MOUTHING)

741
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:10,459
STIFLER: Oh, amazing.

742
00:36:10,543 --> 00:36:12,336
What the hell is he doing
near my flowers?

743
00:36:12,420 --> 00:36:15,089
I love the way
the tulips accentuate the...

744
00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:16,423
What do you call
those again, sir?

745
00:36:16,549 --> 00:36:17,841
Double lisianthus.

746
00:36:17,926 --> 00:36:19,218
Lisianthus.

747
00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:20,719
Double lisianthums.

748
00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:22,888
What a pretty name.

749
00:36:22,973 --> 00:36:24,223
(CHUCKLING)

750
00:36:25,934 --> 00:36:29,812
I told him to be nice,
or he couldn't come
to the wedding.

751
00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:31,939
Okay,
I will take care of this.
I will take care of this.

752
00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:33,274
James. Great.
Come on over.

753
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:34,692
Great, come on over.

754
00:36:34,776 --> 00:36:37,278
You can see
if I forgot anything.
I don't think I... Oh!

755
00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:39,029
We're having a great time.

756
00:36:39,114 --> 00:36:41,448
I think I've got it all.
Look, look, look.

757
00:36:42,367 --> 00:36:44,410
Sahara and
desert rose for
(MOUTHING)

758
00:36:44,494 --> 00:36:46,537
Your bridesmaids' bouquet.

759
00:36:46,621 --> 00:36:48,706
Give me that. Smell this.

760
00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:52,251
It's fantastic.
Fantastic. And... Oh!

761
00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:56,005
(EXCLAIMING)

762
00:36:57,090 --> 00:36:58,257
(SQUEALS)

763
00:36:58,341 --> 00:36:59,842
Look at this!

764
00:37:00,260 --> 00:37:01,635
(LAUGHING)

765
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:04,471
Let's go look at
the candelabrum, honey.

766
00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:07,057
I think with
the summer blossoms...

767
00:37:07,267 --> 00:37:08,642
Thank you for everything.

768
00:37:08,727 --> 00:37:10,060
What'd you think, girls?
Isn't this adorable?

769
00:37:10,186 --> 00:37:11,520
Bye, Cadence.

770
00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:14,773
Okay, I know
what you're doing. Look,
have you seen yourself?

771
00:37:14,858 --> 00:37:16,442
I can't believe
you're doing this, Stifler.

772
00:37:16,609 --> 00:37:18,235
Just calm down, dude.

773
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:19,903
It's all set.
What's set?

774
00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:22,865
I'm gonna teach you
to dance like
a Baryshninikov.

775
00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:24,742
Oh, yeah.

776
00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:26,160
He is pretty good.

777
00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:28,203
Jim, he's not
doing it to be nice.

778
00:37:28,288 --> 00:37:29,788
He's doing it
to bone Cadence.

779
00:37:29,873 --> 00:37:31,206
Look, maybe we should
give him a chance.

780
00:37:31,291 --> 00:37:32,499
You know, I think

781
00:37:32,709 --> 00:37:36,462
that underneath
all the "fucks" and "shits"
and "blow me's"

782
00:37:36,546 --> 00:37:38,589
there's a very
sensitive person

783
00:37:38,673 --> 00:37:40,674
who is just
thirsty for acceptance.

784
00:37:40,759 --> 00:37:42,384
That's what I think.

785
00:37:43,345 --> 00:37:46,180
Oh, Jim, you've got
to stop masturbating.

786
00:37:46,264 --> 00:37:47,306
It's melting your brain.

787
00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:50,100
Observe
the fucking Stifmeister.

788
00:37:50,226 --> 00:37:52,394
What is his
defining characteristic?

789
00:37:54,022 --> 00:37:56,523
He uses the "F"
word excessively.

790
00:37:56,649 --> 00:37:59,443
Thanks, man.
But I also have confidence.

791
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:01,111
You're one big floppy cock.

792
00:38:01,196 --> 00:38:04,031
Look at you.
You got to stand
like a man.

793
00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:06,867
Your posture tells
your partner where to go.

794
00:38:06,951 --> 00:38:07,951
Okay?
Okay.

795
00:38:08,161 --> 00:38:09,787
Follow my lead.

796
00:38:11,039 --> 00:38:12,623
This is the waltz.

797
00:38:12,749 --> 00:38:14,333
Waltz? Okay.

798
00:38:15,668 --> 00:38:16,960
Waltz. Okay.

799
00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:20,839
That's pretty good.

800
00:38:21,007 --> 00:38:22,466
You're fucking right
it's good.

801
00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:25,344
I'm gonna save your ass
in this wedding.

802
00:38:25,428 --> 00:38:27,805
Pretty soon you're gonna
want me to shave your balls.

803
00:38:27,889 --> 00:38:31,183
Should I shave my balls?
Do you shave your balls?
How do you do it?

804
00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:32,684
Dude! No.

805
00:38:34,187 --> 00:38:35,521
(STUTTERS)

806
00:38:36,564 --> 00:38:38,273
I'm just... Shaving...

807
00:38:39,442 --> 00:38:41,568
You know, there's
nothing like a local pub.

808
00:38:41,653 --> 00:38:43,404
Mmm-hmm.
It's like real America,

809
00:38:43,488 --> 00:38:45,948
without all
that corporateness
and catchy jingles.

810
00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:47,616
What's wrong
with a good jingle?

811
00:38:47,700 --> 00:38:50,285
I think it was
Voltaire who said,

812
00:38:51,371 --> 00:38:55,624
"A jingle witty
proves everything
for my friends and I."

813
00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:58,460
(CHUCKLES)

814
00:38:58,586 --> 00:39:01,839
Cadence, I didn't know
you were gonna be here.

815
00:39:02,048 --> 00:39:04,508
You're just in time for
Voltaire's greatest hits.

816
00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:07,594
Voltaire? Stifler, please,
who was Voltaire?

817
00:39:07,679 --> 00:39:10,556
Someone much wiser than you,
I'm afraid, Finch.

818
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:14,726
Actually, I'm getting
a little burned out on all
the intellectual stuff.

819
00:39:14,936 --> 00:39:16,687
Yeah, me, too.

820
00:39:17,063 --> 00:39:18,605
Being smart is so hard.

821
00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:19,982
(CHUCKLING)

822
00:39:22,193 --> 00:39:24,653
I'll give you
some intelligence.

823
00:39:25,738 --> 00:39:28,449
Voltaire can suck
on my balls.

824
00:39:30,452 --> 00:39:31,660
What?

825
00:39:31,995 --> 00:39:34,413
It's about time somebody
finally came out and said it.

826
00:39:34,497 --> 00:39:36,582
Hey, I'm gonna give you
a quote to live by.

827
00:39:36,666 --> 00:39:38,542
"Love life, get paid,
and then get laid."

828
00:39:38,626 --> 00:39:42,087
That is the basic philosophy
of the Finchmeister.

829
00:39:42,297 --> 00:39:43,630
I like that.
(MOUTHING)

830
00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:44,756
Bet you do.

831
00:39:45,425 --> 00:39:47,843
Really? I don't know
why you do,

832
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:50,512
because
Finchmeister doesn't make
any frigging sense.

833
00:39:50,597 --> 00:39:51,930
Sure it does.

834
00:39:52,056 --> 00:39:53,432
No fucking shit it does.

835
00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:59,521
Cadence, let's leave
the cray-ton here, shall we?

836
00:39:59,606 --> 00:40:01,773
Whatever. Fuck it.
I'm walking, anyway.

837
00:40:01,858 --> 00:40:06,111
You know, I think
I'm gonna go stretch my legs
with the Finchmeister.

838
00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:07,446
You don't mind,
do you, Steven?

839
00:40:07,614 --> 00:40:08,864
No.

840
00:40:11,659 --> 00:40:12,659
Ha!

841
00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:14,995
(HUFFING)

842
00:40:17,290 --> 00:40:19,791
It's on like
Donkey Kong, bitch.

843
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,377
Pack it up, bitch.

844
00:40:22,504 --> 00:40:23,921
I'm on it. Thank you.

845
00:40:24,005 --> 00:40:27,466
So, Cadence say
anything about me?

846
00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:30,969
Whatever you and
Finch are pulling,
she seems to like you both.

847
00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:34,223
Finch. She gonna be around
tomorrow night?

848
00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:37,726
No, she's going up to
Chicago with Michelle
for the final dress fitting.

849
00:40:37,810 --> 00:40:39,102
What about her parents?

850
00:40:39,812 --> 00:40:41,730
I think her mom
kind of likes me.

851
00:40:41,814 --> 00:40:45,400
They're going up north
with my parents

852
00:40:45,485 --> 00:40:47,819
to get things ready
for the rehearsal.

853
00:40:47,904 --> 00:40:49,655
So that's where they'll be.

854
00:40:49,739 --> 00:40:52,574
So don't bother
looking for them
or anything, you know?

855
00:40:52,659 --> 00:40:54,910
A wedding. (SCOFFS) Shit.

856
00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:58,664
How do you know
she's the right girl?

857
00:40:58,748 --> 00:40:59,998
I just do.

858
00:41:00,124 --> 00:41:02,209
I'm a better person
when I'm with Michelle.

859
00:41:02,293 --> 00:41:04,086
Nobody else can...
No, shithead.

860
00:41:04,170 --> 00:41:07,548
You hooked up with
one other girl for what?
10 seconds?

861
00:41:07,632 --> 00:41:11,218
Not to mention
you passed on Nadia.
Dumbest fucking thing ever.

862
00:41:11,302 --> 00:41:13,971
You're like
a blind man picking
out his favorite porno.

863
00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:15,847
That shit is crazy.

864
00:41:19,269 --> 00:41:21,603
JIM'S DAD:
This is just the old
pre-wedding jitters, Son.

865
00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:24,231
JIM: It's so forever.
You know, it's...

866
00:41:24,691 --> 00:41:28,610
You know,
Michelle is the only girl
that I've been with.

867
00:41:28,820 --> 00:41:32,698
Honestly, now,
would you have passed up
sex with Nadia?

868
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,368
Why? Did she say something?

869
00:41:37,161 --> 00:41:38,954
Hypothetically, Dad.

870
00:41:39,038 --> 00:41:40,664
Hypothetically. Well,

871
00:41:40,748 --> 00:41:42,791
you know, Jim,
I'm a married man.

872
00:41:43,418 --> 00:41:44,668
If you weren't married.

873
00:41:45,211 --> 00:41:46,461
She's a college girl.

874
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:47,879
If you were a college guy.

875
00:41:47,964 --> 00:41:50,424
In a heartbeat.
Oh, yeah. Mmm-hmm.

876
00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:53,176
First of all,
what you're feeling

877
00:41:53,303 --> 00:41:55,220
is so normal
and perfectly natural.

878
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,055
Marriage is not about

879
00:41:57,557 --> 00:42:00,309
animal lusting,
and kinky sex games.

880
00:42:00,393 --> 00:42:02,436
It's not so much about

881
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:05,647
who's the dog and
who's the fire
hydrant tonight.

882
00:42:05,732 --> 00:42:07,357
It's deeper than that.

883
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:11,987
The longer a marriage lasts,
the longer you can go

884
00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:14,448
without sex.

885
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,950
But when that
magic night does happen,

886
00:42:18,036 --> 00:42:19,870
it's all
the more meaningful.

887
00:42:19,954 --> 00:42:21,955
Let me tell you,
your mother, bless her,

888
00:42:22,081 --> 00:42:24,124
can still make me
squeal like a pig.

889
00:42:24,667 --> 00:42:26,168
I mean that
in the good sense.

890
00:42:26,252 --> 00:42:27,586
Do you follow
what I'm saying?

891
00:42:27,670 --> 00:42:29,421
You understand
where I'm going here?

892
00:42:29,589 --> 00:42:31,340
I do. I think...

893
00:42:31,424 --> 00:42:32,466
Anything else you need?

894
00:42:32,592 --> 00:42:33,717
No. No. That's...

895
00:42:36,179 --> 00:42:37,929
Anything I can do.

896
00:42:57,075 --> 00:43:00,994
He's not here.
Park the cars down there
where he won't see them.

897
00:43:07,335 --> 00:43:08,377
Whoo!

898
00:43:08,461 --> 00:43:10,087
Fucking right!

899
00:43:10,463 --> 00:43:12,130
So, you like
my pants, Stiffy?

900
00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:14,216
Whatever, dude.
As long as the girls
are worth it.

901
00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:16,635
They're worth it.
Oh! And if you got
good wine, too,

902
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:18,178
that'll score
points for you.

903
00:43:18,262 --> 00:43:19,971
I think there's
some in the basement.

904
00:43:20,056 --> 00:43:22,891
I'll get it. You ain't
gonna want to miss this.

905
00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:25,018
(LAUGHING)

906
00:43:25,645 --> 00:43:28,480
Gentlemen,
I would like to introduce

907
00:43:28,689 --> 00:43:32,401
Officer Krystal
und Fräulein Brandi!

908
00:43:33,986 --> 00:43:35,404
FINCH: Oh, my God.

909
00:43:35,530 --> 00:43:37,364
(STIFLER EXCLAIMING)

910
00:43:39,867 --> 00:43:40,867
Oh, my God.

911
00:43:41,202 --> 00:43:43,537
You boys have
been very messy.

912
00:43:48,042 --> 00:43:49,126
Whoops.

913
00:43:49,210 --> 00:43:50,794
Can you see my fanny?

914
00:43:50,878 --> 00:43:52,546
Whoops. (GIGGLES)

915
00:43:53,047 --> 00:43:54,464
Oh!

916
00:43:54,882 --> 00:43:56,091
(MOANS)

917
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,093
(STIFLER WHOOPS)

918
00:43:58,344 --> 00:43:59,553
(YELPS)
Oh!

919
00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:01,763
Ow!

920
00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:03,849
You naughty girl.

921
00:44:03,933 --> 00:44:05,225
(GIGGLES)

922
00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:08,353
None of that
pleading the Fifth crap.

923
00:44:08,438 --> 00:44:09,855
You boys are gonna talk.

924
00:44:10,565 --> 00:44:11,648
(STUTTERS)

925
00:44:12,233 --> 00:44:13,400
STIFLER: Wow! (LAUGHING)

926
00:44:15,153 --> 00:44:16,153
Oh, my God!

927
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,115
Are you just gonna
stand there and drool?

928
00:44:20,241 --> 00:44:21,366
Or we gonna have
a bachelor party?

929
00:44:21,492 --> 00:44:22,617
Fuck, yeah, we are!

930
00:44:22,702 --> 00:44:23,702
Yeah?
Yeah.

931
00:44:23,786 --> 00:44:25,745
What? I can't hear you.

932
00:44:26,247 --> 00:44:27,247
Louder!
(STUTTERS)

933
00:44:27,748 --> 00:44:28,874
Yes.

934
00:44:29,250 --> 00:44:30,459
Bachelor party.

935
00:44:30,585 --> 00:44:31,793
I can't hear you. Louder!

936
00:44:32,545 --> 00:44:34,254
Stick a finger in my ass!

937
00:44:34,464 --> 00:44:35,630
(GASPS)

938
00:44:37,758 --> 00:44:39,009
That's weird.

939
00:44:39,093 --> 00:44:40,427
You just wait.

940
00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:42,762
Maybe we should
just wait for Jim.

941
00:44:43,389 --> 00:44:45,348
Fuck Jim, man!
This is for us!

942
00:44:45,433 --> 00:44:46,516
Take her top off.

943
00:44:46,601 --> 00:44:49,811
My girlfriend has
strict rules about this.
No touching.

944
00:44:50,062 --> 00:44:51,146
(GROANING)

945
00:44:51,230 --> 00:44:52,856
What are you,
a dancing clown?

946
00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:56,568
You wipe that shit-eating grin
off your face,
you punk-ass little bitch!

947
00:44:56,652 --> 00:44:57,944
This is awesome!

948
00:44:58,112 --> 00:44:59,529
You like that?
Like it? How much? No!

949
00:44:59,614 --> 00:45:00,822
Yeah, I do.
Boob.

950
00:45:03,117 --> 00:45:04,159
Sorry.

951
00:45:04,619 --> 00:45:07,454
No, not yet.
But you will be.

952
00:45:08,331 --> 00:45:10,665
Like I said,
this is awesome.

953
00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:20,509
Hey, listen,
I think we both know

954
00:45:20,635 --> 00:45:24,513
that Officer Krystal and me
have this, you know...

955
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:25,972
Thing?
Yeah.

956
00:45:33,856 --> 00:45:36,733
No one has ever
slapped my ass like that.

957
00:45:37,193 --> 00:45:40,070
No one's ever
pinched my nipple
with such ferocity.

958
00:45:46,244 --> 00:45:49,704
I'm a master of
the Tantric art.

959
00:45:50,665 --> 00:45:52,916
I look at her
body and I just see

960
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,669
the chakras and the things
I could do to her and...

961
00:45:55,753 --> 00:45:56,920
(INHALES SHARPLY)

962
00:45:57,004 --> 00:45:58,213
(GRUNTS)

963
00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:11,351
You, you look cute.
Oh, thank you.

964
00:46:11,852 --> 00:46:13,603
You, you're the cute one.

965
00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:15,647
Stiffy, how slimming is this?

966
00:46:16,524 --> 00:46:19,025
What the fuck,
Buffalo Bill?

967
00:46:20,069 --> 00:46:22,279
What? The pink too much?

968
00:46:22,780 --> 00:46:26,533
It puts
the dress in the drawer
and does as it's told.

969
00:46:27,785 --> 00:46:30,203
Oh, dude,
now that's fucked up.

970
00:46:30,913 --> 00:46:32,289
That's fucked up.

971
00:46:32,915 --> 00:46:35,458
And in closing,
you have been a naughty,
naughty girl.

972
00:46:35,543 --> 00:46:36,626
(CACKLES)

973
00:46:36,711 --> 00:46:40,088
You been naughty, Brandi?
You been fucking naughty?

974
00:46:41,549 --> 00:46:42,757
Fresh.

975
00:46:43,217 --> 00:46:44,384
(SCREAMS)

976
00:46:44,468 --> 00:46:45,552
Take her top off!

977
00:46:46,554 --> 00:46:49,222
Will you get to cleaning,
you little bitch fucker.

978
00:46:49,307 --> 00:46:50,682
(SCREAMS)

979
00:46:51,934 --> 00:46:53,310
Do you want to
see us kiss?

980
00:46:56,105 --> 00:46:57,480
Fuck, no!

981
00:46:57,773 --> 00:46:59,899
None of that "you go,
we go" bullshit.

982
00:47:00,234 --> 00:47:02,110
STIFLER:
We've already done that.
FINCH: Good of you.

983
00:47:14,248 --> 00:47:16,625
I used to have
this pet bass.

984
00:47:17,084 --> 00:47:19,669
His name was Arnie,
and he was so cute

985
00:47:19,754 --> 00:47:22,964
and he just loved me,
too, you know.
He would look at me...

986
00:47:23,090 --> 00:47:24,174
Maybe you
could dance.

987
00:47:24,258 --> 00:47:25,717
...make this
face like...

988
00:47:26,260 --> 00:47:28,428
Or something like that.
I don't know.
It was great.

989
00:47:28,512 --> 00:47:30,221
I miss Arnie, but...

990
00:47:30,306 --> 00:47:32,515
Sometimes I watch
the Discovery Channel.

991
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:33,808
I love that show.

992
00:47:33,893 --> 00:47:35,268
I don't care!

993
00:47:35,936 --> 00:47:38,480
Could you just
dance for me, please?

994
00:47:38,689 --> 00:47:42,525
No, that's my favorite...
Well, was my favorite shirt.

995
00:47:43,277 --> 00:47:44,277
Okay...

996
00:47:44,737 --> 00:47:45,737
Hey.

997
00:47:46,697 --> 00:47:47,864
What?

998
00:47:49,450 --> 00:47:50,700
Nothing.

999
00:47:52,036 --> 00:47:53,828
It's a crazy party, huh?

1000
00:48:04,006 --> 00:48:06,716
You don't worry about him.
You don't worry about him.

1001
00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:11,680
He's a maniac.
You're a maniac,
you know that?

1002
00:48:13,557 --> 00:48:15,183
(MUFFLED SHOUTS)

1003
00:48:18,187 --> 00:48:21,439
Stifler, why in the world
are you focused on me?

1004
00:48:21,524 --> 00:48:23,233
I'm just surprised to
see you don't have tits.

1005
00:48:24,318 --> 00:48:26,569
How can I clean you
if you are not dirty?

1006
00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:30,657
Go put something on
that I must clean off
with my tongue.

1007
00:48:31,283 --> 00:48:32,283
Oh!

1008
00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:34,577
Anything for a French person.

1009
00:48:34,829 --> 00:48:36,871
If you insist, fräulein.

1010
00:48:49,176 --> 00:48:50,427
Ah!

1011
00:48:52,722 --> 00:48:54,848
Look at you,
you pathetic
little weasel.

1012
00:48:55,349 --> 00:48:56,683
Can't I just watch?

1013
00:48:57,518 --> 00:49:00,937
Look, you don't have to
do anything
if you don't want to.

1014
00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:02,147
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

1015
00:49:02,231 --> 00:49:06,317
Hold on!
Don't break character
ever again, okay?

1016
00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:08,403
I don't care
if Kevin starts crying

1017
00:49:08,487 --> 00:49:09,946
because Finch
bit his cock off.

1018
00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:11,740
You're a dirty cop,
you're a prissy maid.

1019
00:49:12,116 --> 00:49:14,826
And I'm your filthy cabana boy
in need of
punishment and cleaning.

1020
00:49:15,202 --> 00:49:17,704
Don't you ever mouth
off to Officer Krystal,

1021
00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:19,539
you dirty little pervert!
Okay.

1022
00:49:19,623 --> 00:49:21,541
Now obey!
I obey!

1023
00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:23,877
Jesus.

1024
00:49:41,562 --> 00:49:42,771
Hey, guys,
are we having dinner?

1025
00:49:48,736 --> 00:49:49,778
Let me get that.

1026
00:49:53,073 --> 00:49:54,073
Holy shit!

1027
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:55,200
Stifler.

1028
00:49:55,284 --> 00:49:58,077
I've got something really nice
cooking up for you inside.

1029
00:49:58,162 --> 00:49:59,370
Well, we love surprises.

1030
00:49:59,455 --> 00:50:01,331
Stifler, you said
you spoke to Jim.

1031
00:50:01,415 --> 00:50:03,082
I did. I was secret
about it and everything.

1032
00:50:03,167 --> 00:50:04,834
He said he'd be
the only one here tonight.

1033
00:50:04,919 --> 00:50:06,669
What the fuck,
Shitbreak?

1034
00:50:06,754 --> 00:50:07,962
It's chocolate.

1035
00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:11,758
I told everyone that
you were up north
with my parents.

1036
00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:15,220
So we won't be bothered.
We can just totally relax.
No worries.

1037
00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:16,971
(MARY CHUCKLES)

1038
00:50:17,056 --> 00:50:19,182
Please come on in.
Make yourselves at home.
Right this way.

1039
00:50:19,266 --> 00:50:20,433
Thank you.

1040
00:50:23,521 --> 00:50:24,687
(GASPS)

1041
00:50:24,772 --> 00:50:25,772
What?

1042
00:50:26,524 --> 00:50:27,857
Pink roses.

1043
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:30,026
JIM: Pink roses.

1044
00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:32,904
They're nice, aren't they?

1045
00:50:33,072 --> 00:50:34,614
Yes, artificial. Nice try.

1046
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:36,199
(ALL CHUCKLING)

1047
00:50:36,367 --> 00:50:38,034
I almost got you.

1048
00:50:40,371 --> 00:50:43,915
So, has Michelle ever
told you the story of how
we fell in love?

1049
00:50:44,250 --> 00:50:46,251
Why don't you retell us now?

1050
00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:49,546
It's one of
my favorite stories.
Where should I begin?

1051
00:50:49,964 --> 00:50:51,464
(CLEARS THROAT)

1052
00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:53,466
Let's see...

1053
00:50:53,759 --> 00:50:57,554
Well, I suppose it
all started at...

1054
00:51:02,268 --> 00:51:03,685
Tall Oaks.

1055
00:51:04,603 --> 00:51:07,105
That's right. At Tall Oaks.

1056
00:51:07,273 --> 00:51:10,149
That was the summer
when... Oh!

1057
00:51:10,276 --> 00:51:12,235
Oh! The summer
that was so hot!

1058
00:51:12,319 --> 00:51:13,486
So hot.

1059
00:51:13,612 --> 00:51:15,071
All right, look what I got.

1060
00:51:15,197 --> 00:51:16,656
Jesus!

1061
00:51:17,199 --> 00:51:18,199
Hey, there.

1062
00:51:18,284 --> 00:51:19,284
Guy, there!

1063
00:51:19,827 --> 00:51:22,620
Jim, I cannot believe you.

1064
00:51:24,206 --> 00:51:25,290
You can't?

1065
00:51:25,374 --> 00:51:29,168
You hired help
on our account. That is
entirely unnecessary.

1066
00:51:29,378 --> 00:51:31,754
But I will have
some of that wine, sir.

1067
00:51:31,839 --> 00:51:33,131
Say please, Harold.

1068
00:51:33,299 --> 00:51:34,632
Please. Of course.

1069
00:51:35,718 --> 00:51:36,718
(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
Absolutely.

1070
00:51:36,844 --> 00:51:37,844
It's what he's here for.

1071
00:51:37,970 --> 00:51:39,429
The wine. Obviously.

1072
00:51:39,513 --> 00:51:40,805
Evidently.

1073
00:51:40,931 --> 00:51:42,181
What else would
you be here for?

1074
00:51:42,308 --> 00:51:46,477
And I certainly appreciate
your courtesy, sir.

1075
00:51:49,523 --> 00:51:51,482
Yes, we have right here

1076
00:51:51,567 --> 00:51:56,321
a 1999 Cabernet Say-vun-nun.

1077
00:51:57,573 --> 00:52:00,950
Full-bodied, masculine wine.

1078
00:52:01,035 --> 00:52:03,828
Just shouts sophistication.

1079
00:52:05,831 --> 00:52:07,290
James?
Yes?

1080
00:52:07,374 --> 00:52:10,710
I can see
you're very surprised
to see me here.

1081
00:52:10,794 --> 00:52:12,045
Little bit.

1082
00:52:12,212 --> 00:52:13,463
I'm going to go
check on the dogs.

1083
00:52:13,547 --> 00:52:17,091
Yes! In fact why don't
you both go check
on the dogs and...

1084
00:52:17,176 --> 00:52:20,553
No! Don't check on the dogs.
They're fine.

1085
00:52:20,804 --> 00:52:22,013
How do you know?

1086
00:52:22,097 --> 00:52:23,514
Because I just
checked on the dogs.

1087
00:52:23,557 --> 00:52:25,308
Because he
checked on the dogs.
I did.

1088
00:52:25,392 --> 00:52:26,559
Good work, man.

1089
00:52:26,685 --> 00:52:27,852
Jim, I'll help
you with the turkey.

1090
00:52:27,937 --> 00:52:29,687
Okay.

1091
00:52:29,813 --> 00:52:31,564
And I'll keep
you company.

1092
00:52:31,732 --> 00:52:33,066
Thank you.

1093
00:52:34,193 --> 00:52:37,070
So, how long have you been
a sommelier, Mister...

1094
00:52:37,154 --> 00:52:38,196
Belvedere, ma'am.

1095
00:52:38,322 --> 00:52:39,364
Belvedere.

1096
00:52:41,575 --> 00:52:42,617
It's chilly in here.

1097
00:52:43,535 --> 00:52:45,411
So, how long do we
have to stay in here for?

1098
00:52:46,163 --> 00:52:48,081
I don't know.
They said to hide.

1099
00:52:48,248 --> 00:52:50,166
I guess we'll just
wait for them to call us.

1100
00:52:50,459 --> 00:52:53,127
Who knows what
kind of kinky shit
they're getting ready for.

1101
00:52:53,212 --> 00:52:55,505
Do these go in your
ass tonight, or mine?

1102
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:01,427
You have
a serving dish ready?

1103
00:53:02,179 --> 00:53:04,097
Jim, we need
a serving dish.
Hmm?

1104
00:53:04,181 --> 00:53:05,932
Oh! Yeah, of course.

1105
00:53:06,558 --> 00:53:07,600
Oh!

1106
00:53:08,018 --> 00:53:09,143
What?

1107
00:53:10,646 --> 00:53:11,646
Nothing.

1108
00:53:12,398 --> 00:53:13,648
Then why the excitement?

1109
00:53:13,732 --> 00:53:15,733
I thought the dish
was broken.

1110
00:53:16,068 --> 00:53:17,860
Well, is it?
No.

1111
00:53:17,945 --> 00:53:19,696
Then are you
going to get it?
Yes.

1112
00:53:31,250 --> 00:53:33,042
Here you go.
One serving dish.

1113
00:53:33,168 --> 00:53:34,961
Excellent. Now what we need:

1114
00:53:35,045 --> 00:53:36,379
A cutting board.

1115
00:53:36,463 --> 00:53:37,463
No, stop!

1116
00:53:37,548 --> 00:53:38,548
What?

1117
00:53:38,632 --> 00:53:39,841
I will get it for you.

1118
00:53:39,925 --> 00:53:42,176
Nonsense,
I can get a cutting board.

1119
00:53:42,469 --> 00:53:46,806
Let's see, there you go.
This should do nicely.

1120
00:53:47,307 --> 00:53:49,892
I presume
we're having white wine
with the turkey.

1121
00:53:50,644 --> 00:53:52,437
Let me go check.

1122
00:53:54,940 --> 00:53:56,274
(MARY CHUCKLES)

1123
00:53:56,900 --> 00:53:58,693
What happened here?

1124
00:53:59,403 --> 00:54:00,653
JIM: Oh, um...

1125
00:54:00,863 --> 00:54:04,574
That's mud.
I meant to clean
that up this morning.

1126
00:54:04,742 --> 00:54:06,117
How embarrassing.

1127
00:54:06,201 --> 00:54:08,619
That's gonna stain.
We're gonna need a mop.

1128
00:54:08,704 --> 00:54:10,079
I'll get it.
It's in this closet.

1129
00:54:10,205 --> 00:54:11,581
No.

1130
00:54:12,458 --> 00:54:13,875
No, it's not.

1131
00:54:13,959 --> 00:54:15,126
It's in there.

1132
00:54:15,252 --> 00:54:16,419
It's not in this closet,

1133
00:54:16,503 --> 00:54:19,922
because I moved it.

1134
00:54:20,716 --> 00:54:22,300
Where? I'll go get it.

1135
00:54:22,468 --> 00:54:24,051
I don't remember.

1136
00:54:25,220 --> 00:54:26,512
You don't remember?

1137
00:54:26,638 --> 00:54:27,972
You know why
I don't remember

1138
00:54:28,056 --> 00:54:29,891
is because I actually
did not move it.

1139
00:54:29,975 --> 00:54:31,851
The cleaning lady did.

1140
00:54:31,935 --> 00:54:34,228
Your mother said
you don't have
a cleaning lady.

1141
00:54:34,313 --> 00:54:36,439
I don't know why
she would say such a...

1142
00:54:36,523 --> 00:54:37,648
You called, master?

1143
00:54:37,775 --> 00:54:38,858
Holy...

1144
00:54:39,693 --> 00:54:41,110
Well, there you are. Hello.

1145
00:54:41,236 --> 00:54:42,403
How do you do?

1146
00:54:43,822 --> 00:54:44,822
Uh...

1147
00:54:44,907 --> 00:54:49,535
So, cleaning lady,
we were wondering
where the mop was.

1148
00:54:50,454 --> 00:54:52,872
Master put
the mop in my fanny.

1149
00:54:53,499 --> 00:54:55,458
You what?
Who put what where?

1150
00:54:55,542 --> 00:54:57,835
I did no such thing anywhere.

1151
00:54:58,629 --> 00:55:00,171
Shall I clean?
(GIGGLES)

1152
00:55:03,842 --> 00:55:04,842
Harold!

1153
00:55:05,010 --> 00:55:06,427
(BOTH GIGGLING)

1154
00:55:06,887 --> 00:55:07,929
(SIGHS)

1155
00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:10,515
Very well.
It is so hot in here!

1156
00:55:12,059 --> 00:55:13,100
(SCREAMS)

1157
00:55:13,185 --> 00:55:14,602
Holy Jesus!

1158
00:55:16,396 --> 00:55:18,147
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

1159
00:55:18,524 --> 00:55:19,524
(SCREAMS)

1160
00:55:20,025 --> 00:55:21,734
Brandi, Brandi,
what are you doing?

1161
00:55:21,902 --> 00:55:23,653
You're not in
Eastern Europe anymore.

1162
00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:27,532
You can't do that.
I am so sorry
about my cousin.

1163
00:55:27,616 --> 00:55:29,367
She's not used to
our customs.

1164
00:55:29,701 --> 00:55:32,453
Jim, I apologize
for recommending her to you.

1165
00:55:32,579 --> 00:55:35,456
Here's this, by the way.

1166
00:55:35,541 --> 00:55:36,624
Ah!

1167
00:55:37,084 --> 00:55:38,459
Got the mop.

1168
00:55:38,544 --> 00:55:41,671
Brandi,
you left the mop
in the car.

1169
00:55:41,755 --> 00:55:43,673
Now remember,
it's called a car,

1170
00:55:43,757 --> 00:55:45,091
not a fanny.

1171
00:55:45,175 --> 00:55:47,343
Remember last time
when you wanted me

1172
00:55:47,427 --> 00:55:49,679
to take a ride
in your fanny.
(LAUGHS)

1173
00:55:50,973 --> 00:55:52,765
BRANDl:
Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.

1174
00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:55,309
You know what?
We should
probably just go.

1175
00:55:55,394 --> 00:55:57,186
I'm so sorry about this.

1176
00:55:57,271 --> 00:55:59,188
I came by to
make sure everything
was in order.

1177
00:55:59,314 --> 00:56:01,274
The food smells great.

1178
00:56:01,608 --> 00:56:03,276
BRANDl: Au revoir.

1179
00:56:04,236 --> 00:56:06,571
Jim, you have
unique friends.

1180
00:56:07,573 --> 00:56:08,573
Harold!

1181
00:56:08,907 --> 00:56:11,284
Let's get that
cleaned up.

1182
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:13,870
I think I saw some
Pine-Sol in here, too.

1183
00:56:14,830 --> 00:56:15,872
(SCREAMS)

1184
00:56:15,956 --> 00:56:17,164
My gosh!
Baby, Mary and Joseph.

1185
00:56:17,249 --> 00:56:18,416
Oh, my Lord!

1186
00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:20,042
He's okay.

1187
00:56:20,127 --> 00:56:21,544
Are you all right?
(MUFFLED RESPONSE)

1188
00:56:21,628 --> 00:56:22,795
Who did this to you?

1189
00:56:22,921 --> 00:56:24,088
I'm sure he's okay.
You okay?

1190
00:56:24,172 --> 00:56:27,466
Get some help!
Harold, call the police!

1191
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:29,844
All right!

1192
00:56:29,928 --> 00:56:31,053
Jesus.

1193
00:56:31,138 --> 00:56:32,305
I'll take charge
from here!

1194
00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:34,974
My God, they are fast here.
And nicely attired.

1195
00:56:35,058 --> 00:56:36,434
What's going on here?

1196
00:56:36,518 --> 00:56:38,060
She's here to
protect and serve.

1197
00:56:38,145 --> 00:56:39,312
Quiet!
Okay.

1198
00:56:39,396 --> 00:56:40,730
Who let this boy
out of the closet?

1199
00:56:40,814 --> 00:56:41,898
(STUTTERS)

1200
00:56:41,982 --> 00:56:43,316
You are all in for
a hard punishment now.

1201
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:45,276
Don't you touch him!
He's been hurt.

1202
00:56:45,485 --> 00:56:47,111
No. This is hurt!

1203
00:56:47,487 --> 00:56:48,654
You can't do that.

1204
00:56:48,739 --> 00:56:50,489
Silence, fucker!
Ow!

1205
00:56:50,741 --> 00:56:51,741
You like it.

1206
00:56:51,825 --> 00:56:52,825
Oh!

1207
00:56:52,910 --> 00:56:54,994
Harold,
what's gotten into you?

1208
00:56:55,078 --> 00:56:56,203
I meant... Ow!

1209
00:56:56,288 --> 00:56:58,831
Dirty whore.
Shut your hole. Obey!

1210
00:56:59,041 --> 00:57:00,291
(SCREAMING)

1211
00:57:00,375 --> 00:57:01,876
HAROLD:
You can't do that.

1212
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,169
You're a disgrace
to the police force.

1213
00:57:03,295 --> 00:57:04,921
I'll be giving you
an enema!

1214
00:57:05,005 --> 00:57:06,756
Hey, somebody untie me!

1215
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:07,882
Wait, not the face.
Back off!

1216
00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:10,217
All right, forget it.
We give up.

1217
00:57:10,302 --> 00:57:11,761
Steven!

1218
00:57:11,845 --> 00:57:13,179
It's okay, Mary.

1219
00:57:13,305 --> 00:57:14,680
What's going on?

1220
00:57:15,390 --> 00:57:17,433
Listen,
this isn't working, guys.

1221
00:57:17,517 --> 00:57:20,269
Krystal, you can drop the act.
This isn't a real cop.

1222
00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:23,022
Kevin wasn't assaulted.

1223
00:57:23,106 --> 00:57:25,608
I just wanted to
make Jim look good
for you guys.

1224
00:57:25,692 --> 00:57:27,151
Like a real hero.

1225
00:57:27,235 --> 00:57:28,402
Kind of like me.

1226
00:57:28,487 --> 00:57:31,781
We hired a fake cop,
tied up Kevin,
and put him in the closet.

1227
00:57:31,865 --> 00:57:34,533
Jim was supposed to
rescue him, untie him,
give him mouth-to-mouth.

1228
00:57:34,618 --> 00:57:36,577
I don't know
what he likes to do.

1229
00:57:36,662 --> 00:57:39,872
Then Paul Finch
hired an exotic dancer
instead of a real actor.

1230
00:57:40,958 --> 00:57:42,124
Jim, is this true?

1231
00:57:44,378 --> 00:57:45,836
Every word of it.

1232
00:57:45,921 --> 00:57:48,089
That is the stupidest idea
I have ever heard.

1233
00:57:48,173 --> 00:57:51,801
You've embarrassed me, Harold,
and Mr. Belvedere.

1234
00:57:52,386 --> 00:57:53,719
What?

1235
00:57:53,845 --> 00:57:55,179
It's all my fault.
I'm a bad person.

1236
00:57:55,389 --> 00:57:57,723
Oh! You're not a bad person.

1237
00:57:57,808 --> 00:58:00,810
You were just
trying to help out
your best friend.

1238
00:58:00,894 --> 00:58:04,814
It was an awful idea,
but I suppose
it's the thought that counts.

1239
00:58:05,774 --> 00:58:07,692
You know, actually,

1240
00:58:08,568 --> 00:58:10,236
(STAMMERING)

1241
00:58:11,029 --> 00:58:13,072
I never should have allowed

1242
00:58:13,156 --> 00:58:16,701
such a crazy plan to
happen in the first place.

1243
00:58:16,785 --> 00:58:20,246
If you're gonna
blame anybody here,

1244
00:58:20,580 --> 00:58:21,747
blame me.

1245
00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:23,165
I'm sorry, Jim.
I didn't realize

1246
00:58:23,250 --> 00:58:24,709
how much pressure
we put on you.

1247
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:28,838
I'm sure you both
learned your lesson,
and I suppose I understand.

1248
00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:31,841
Jim, if you put
half as much energy
into your marriage

1249
00:58:31,925 --> 00:58:34,760
as you put into tonight,
I'm confident that I can
give you my blessing.

1250
00:58:37,639 --> 00:58:41,183
And, Steven,
we still adore you, honey.

1251
00:58:41,268 --> 00:58:44,729
In fact, I think I know
who should hold onto this.

1252
00:58:44,813 --> 00:58:47,565
We adore you.
You'll take good care of it.

1253
00:58:47,649 --> 00:58:48,858
You've got to
be kidding me.

1254
00:58:48,984 --> 00:58:50,192
No.

1255
00:58:50,652 --> 00:58:54,113
Lookit, Jim, Kevin.
Boy, this really makes me
important to the wedding.

1256
00:58:54,489 --> 00:58:55,614
MARY: Yes.

1257
00:58:57,534 --> 00:59:01,037
Well, Mr. Belvedere,
it's gonna be one
fucked-up wedding.

1258
00:59:01,663 --> 00:59:03,080
Absolutely.

1259
00:59:04,750 --> 00:59:06,709
Drive carefully.
More bags in the study.

1260
00:59:06,793 --> 00:59:07,877
Thank you.

1261
00:59:08,003 --> 00:59:09,128
You're welcome.

1262
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:14,842
Ow!

1263
00:59:14,926 --> 00:59:16,302
Is there
any room for me?

1264
00:59:16,386 --> 00:59:17,803
Nope.

1265
00:59:18,513 --> 00:59:20,806
I'll just drive up
north all by myself.

1266
00:59:21,183 --> 00:59:23,100
That sounds good.
We'll see you later.

1267
00:59:23,226 --> 00:59:25,144
No, I'll drive with you.

1268
00:59:25,479 --> 00:59:28,606
Thanks, Cadence.
Beautiful lady.

1269
00:59:33,028 --> 00:59:35,780
Hey... I know. Shut up.
Kevin!

1270
00:59:46,124 --> 00:59:48,084
So, my mom found
the dogs playing

1271
00:59:48,168 --> 00:59:50,086
with something
unusual this morning.

1272
00:59:50,170 --> 00:59:51,754
What?

1273
00:59:51,838 --> 00:59:53,589
I told her it was
a neck massager.

1274
00:59:56,343 --> 00:59:57,927
These are great.

1275
01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:23,202
He's hilarious.

1276
01:00:23,370 --> 01:00:24,411
Yes.

1277
01:00:26,665 --> 01:00:28,666
That kind of thing
is so lethargic to me.

1278
01:00:30,627 --> 01:00:31,752
What do you mean?

1279
01:00:31,878 --> 01:00:33,045
I'm not sure.

1280
01:00:53,024 --> 01:00:56,152
Mr. Stifler,
I already told you
you called two days ago

1281
01:00:56,236 --> 01:00:58,070
and canceled
your reservation.

1282
01:00:58,155 --> 01:00:59,989
Since you now
wish to stay here,

1283
01:01:00,073 --> 01:01:02,700
I thought you could persuade
Mr. Finch to share his room.

1284
01:01:02,784 --> 01:01:05,452
Hey, Shithead, I didn't
cancel my reservation.

1285
01:01:05,704 --> 01:01:07,496
Mr. Fuckface Finch
called here.

1286
01:01:07,581 --> 01:01:10,124
And Mr. Idiot Behind
the Desk canceled it.

1287
01:01:10,208 --> 01:01:14,044
Christof, please pardon
my friend's uncouth behavior.

1288
01:01:14,754 --> 01:01:16,505
I did no such thing.

1289
01:01:16,631 --> 01:01:18,382
Nor did I, sir.

1290
01:01:18,758 --> 01:01:22,428
And your rudeness
and obscenities
won't change anything.

1291
01:01:22,762 --> 01:01:25,848
Well then,
I guess it doesn't matter
if I call you a crotchface,

1292
01:01:25,932 --> 01:01:27,349
you ball-scratching fucker.

1293
01:01:27,434 --> 01:01:29,185
Or better yet,
go blow your dad.

1294
01:01:29,269 --> 01:01:31,020
My dad?
Hear, hear.

1295
01:01:31,104 --> 01:01:33,856
While you're there,
stick a finger
up both their asses

1296
01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:35,941
while you're down there.

1297
01:01:37,736 --> 01:01:40,529
Finch, rudeness and obscenity
won't change anything.

1298
01:01:40,614 --> 01:01:44,116
Here's a thought:
Grow a sack,
fill it with some balls,

1299
01:01:44,201 --> 01:01:46,869
magically sprout a dick,
shove it up your ass,

1300
01:01:46,953 --> 01:01:49,788
and start fucking yourself
like, "Yeah, baby!"

1301
01:01:50,874 --> 01:01:53,626
You going
with what I'm saying?
(GRUNTING)

1302
01:01:54,628 --> 01:01:56,295
This is disgusting.

1303
01:01:56,421 --> 01:01:59,798
Why don't you go dust
with your
perverse European cousin?

1304
01:02:00,217 --> 01:02:01,675
Is she here?

1305
01:02:01,801 --> 01:02:03,302
Unbelievable.

1306
01:02:03,637 --> 01:02:06,055
I'd like to book
a tee time for my husband

1307
01:02:06,139 --> 01:02:09,141
and a European
pumpkin peel facial
for me, please.

1308
01:02:09,226 --> 01:02:10,643
Make that two.

1309
01:02:11,061 --> 01:02:12,770
JIM'S DAD: You'll have
a fun weekend, Ma.

1310
01:02:12,896 --> 01:02:14,563
I am missing my soap.

1311
01:02:14,648 --> 01:02:16,357
Don't you worry
about your soaps.

1312
01:02:16,441 --> 01:02:18,525
Will you push faster?
I'm tired.

1313
01:02:19,319 --> 01:02:20,819
And wait till
you meet Michelle.

1314
01:02:20,904 --> 01:02:22,905
You're gonna love her.
She's sweet as sugar.

1315
01:02:22,989 --> 01:02:24,448
I can't eat sugar.

1316
01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:26,242
I know,
because you're diabetic.

1317
01:02:26,952 --> 01:02:28,160
You know, Ma,

1318
01:02:28,245 --> 01:02:31,580
I know things haven't been
going well for you.
I know that.

1319
01:02:31,665 --> 01:02:35,417
But wait till you
see Jim standing up there
at the altar tomorrow.

1320
01:02:35,502 --> 01:02:39,421
If ever there was
a time to be happy
and smile the biggest smile,

1321
01:02:39,506 --> 01:02:40,839
now is the time.

1322
01:02:40,924 --> 01:02:44,718
Okay, okay. I'm overjoyed.

1323
01:02:45,679 --> 01:02:47,680
That's a start.

1324
01:02:49,140 --> 01:02:51,642
Proud grandmother
coming through.

1325
01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:54,353
Grandson's getting
married tomorrow.

1326
01:02:54,437 --> 01:02:57,022
You think she's happy now,
wait till tomorrow.

1327
01:02:58,692 --> 01:03:00,442
"Congratulations."

1328
01:03:08,785 --> 01:03:10,077
"Grooming."

1329
01:03:22,465 --> 01:03:23,757
(BUZZING)

1330
01:03:44,112 --> 01:03:45,529
You got bigger.

1331
01:03:55,165 --> 01:03:57,916
The flowers
stay refrigerated
until morning...

1332
01:03:58,501 --> 01:03:59,710
Oh! I'm sure they will.

1333
01:03:59,836 --> 01:04:01,128
They're so pretty...

1334
01:04:01,421 --> 01:04:02,796
(COUGHING)

1335
01:04:05,884 --> 01:04:07,468
(ALL COUGHING)

1336
01:04:13,933 --> 01:04:15,601
Oh, Jimmy, no!

1337
01:04:16,811 --> 01:04:18,520
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1338
01:04:27,113 --> 01:04:29,406
I hope
you'll be more careful
with the next one.

1339
01:04:29,532 --> 01:04:31,992
My kitchen is
not a toilet, okay?

1340
01:04:39,667 --> 01:04:43,337
Boy, pubic hair was just not
an issue when I was dating.

1341
01:04:44,547 --> 01:04:47,591
The ladies never complained

1342
01:04:47,717 --> 01:04:50,302
when they were, you know,
down in that general area...

1343
01:04:50,387 --> 01:04:53,889
Okay, if you never
mention that ever again,
that'd be great.

1344
01:04:54,015 --> 01:04:56,016
Shouldn't have brought it up.

1345
01:04:56,393 --> 01:04:58,394
So, can I see the ring?

1346
01:04:58,561 --> 01:05:00,604
Nope. I promised
to keep it safe.

1347
01:05:01,398 --> 01:05:02,898
It's not leaving my pocket.

1348
01:05:03,024 --> 01:05:04,525
Okay, Frodo.

1349
01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:06,568
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

1350
01:05:07,404 --> 01:05:10,572
You really care
about this wedding,
don't you?

1351
01:05:11,908 --> 01:05:15,077
I'm gonna cry
at the ceremony.
I know it.

1352
01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:17,329
(SIGHS)

1353
01:05:17,539 --> 01:05:19,748
Are you just saying
all of this?

1354
01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:23,710
I mean, do you
act differently around
certain people?

1355
01:05:24,254 --> 01:05:25,587
Namely me?

1356
01:05:25,839 --> 01:05:29,425
Of course not. Why?
Do you act differently
around me?

1357
01:05:29,843 --> 01:05:33,929
Generally, I'm just me.
If people don't like it,
that's their problem.

1358
01:05:34,097 --> 01:05:35,556
Yeah. Fuck those fuckers.

1359
01:05:35,682 --> 01:05:37,141
What?

1360
01:05:38,393 --> 01:05:39,935
I didn't...

1361
01:05:40,103 --> 01:05:41,603
No, you're right. Fuck 'em.

1362
01:05:47,277 --> 01:05:48,944
Hey, Harold and Mary!

1363
01:05:49,112 --> 01:05:50,779
Hi, kids.

1364
01:05:51,614 --> 01:05:53,115
How's it going?

1365
01:05:54,325 --> 01:05:56,368
Come on. Thanks for
watching the dogs.

1366
01:05:56,453 --> 01:05:59,580
I love these guys.
Hey, guys, want more
Snausages? Huh?

1367
01:06:00,290 --> 01:06:01,790
There you go.

1368
01:06:02,292 --> 01:06:03,500
Eat 'em up.
Give me some.

1369
01:06:03,626 --> 01:06:04,877
There you go.

1370
01:06:05,462 --> 01:06:08,130
I don't think
I have any left.

1371
01:06:09,549 --> 01:06:10,632
What's wrong?

1372
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:11,925
Shit.

1373
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:13,969
Are you okay?

1374
01:06:17,182 --> 01:06:18,307
Yeah.

1375
01:06:21,478 --> 01:06:22,978
You kissed Stifler?

1376
01:06:23,146 --> 01:06:24,646
Yeah. But then he freaked.

1377
01:06:24,814 --> 01:06:27,816
It's like he's been
paying more attention
to the dogs than me.

1378
01:06:27,901 --> 01:06:29,526
Can I stop worrying then?

1379
01:06:29,652 --> 01:06:32,070
Michelle, he's been
nothing but nice to me.

1380
01:06:32,155 --> 01:06:34,990
I mean, do you think
he really likes you?

1381
01:06:35,658 --> 01:06:39,786
I don't know.
I hope he likes me.
I mean, I think he likes me.

1382
01:06:42,165 --> 01:06:44,208
Yeah, I guess
I hope he likes me.

1383
01:06:47,670 --> 01:06:48,837
Do it.

1384
01:06:50,006 --> 01:06:53,842
Don't fuck around.
Just relax and let it go.

1385
01:06:55,345 --> 01:06:57,179
I'm sick of waiting.

1386
01:06:57,680 --> 01:06:59,348
Do it for Daddy.

1387
01:06:59,891 --> 01:07:02,392
Will you just
take a shit already?

1388
01:07:03,937 --> 01:07:04,937
Great.

1389
01:07:05,438 --> 01:07:08,315
You fed the ring to the dogs,
didn't you?

1390
01:07:08,524 --> 01:07:09,775
(SCOFFS)

1391
01:07:10,235 --> 01:07:11,568
(SNICKERS)

1392
01:07:13,112 --> 01:07:14,279
Of course not!

1393
01:07:14,405 --> 01:07:17,616
You have been staring
at those dogs
like a hawk all day.

1394
01:07:17,742 --> 01:07:19,409
I'm a dog lover.

1395
01:07:20,495 --> 01:07:24,915
By the way,
apparently you missed
when Cadence kissed me.

1396
01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:30,170
Slight tongue action, too.
It was something like this.

1397
01:07:30,421 --> 01:07:31,755
(WARBLES)

1398
01:07:31,839 --> 01:07:33,715
You're a terrible liar,
Stifler.

1399
01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:36,927
If I were lying,
I'd think of something better
than a kiss.

1400
01:07:37,011 --> 01:07:39,471
Maybe a blow job
or some tittie grabbing.

1401
01:07:40,348 --> 01:07:42,432
No pussy for you, Finch.

1402
01:07:43,643 --> 01:07:44,726
(SIGHS)

1403
01:07:44,811 --> 01:07:48,146
Fucking right, doggy!
It's about goddamn time!

1404
01:07:48,773 --> 01:07:50,107
Jackpot!

1405
01:07:50,191 --> 01:07:53,860
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have some shit to attend to.

1406
01:08:10,295 --> 01:08:12,045
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

1407
01:08:14,465 --> 01:08:15,716
Thanks, assholes.

1408
01:08:16,551 --> 01:08:17,884
MARY: Yeah,
maybe you can call him.

1409
01:08:17,969 --> 01:08:18,969
WOMAN: Okay.

1410
01:08:19,053 --> 01:08:21,221
Steve, come over here.

1411
01:08:24,142 --> 01:08:25,225
Uh...

1412
01:08:25,643 --> 01:08:26,935
I'm a little busy.

1413
01:08:27,020 --> 01:08:29,354
MARY: With what?
Come on over.
We need you.

1414
01:08:29,480 --> 01:08:31,023
Get over here,
you little rascal.

1415
01:08:31,149 --> 01:08:34,693
We were talking about
Michelle's wedding band.
Could I see it?

1416
01:08:35,153 --> 01:08:36,278
Um...

1417
01:08:37,196 --> 01:08:39,072
No.
No?

1418
01:08:40,241 --> 01:08:41,908
I don't have it.
What?

1419
01:08:42,035 --> 01:08:43,285
You mean you lost it?

1420
01:08:43,411 --> 01:08:44,703
Of course not.

1421
01:08:44,829 --> 01:08:47,289
I'm keeping it safe
in my room,
you silly Sally!

1422
01:08:47,373 --> 01:08:48,874
Thank goodness.
I apologize.

1423
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:50,417
That's fine.
I'll see it later.

1424
01:08:50,543 --> 01:08:52,002
Okay. All right, then.

1425
01:08:52,086 --> 01:08:53,795
What do you have
in your hand?

1426
01:08:57,050 --> 01:08:58,133
This one?

1427
01:08:58,217 --> 01:08:59,301
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1428
01:08:59,385 --> 01:09:01,136
No, the other one.

1429
01:09:03,056 --> 01:09:05,140
It's a chocolate truffle.

1430
01:09:05,224 --> 01:09:06,433
Ooo! Yummy.

1431
01:09:06,559 --> 01:09:07,851
Where did you get that?

1432
01:09:08,895 --> 01:09:12,731
The caterer said
she was saving
the truffles for tomorrow.

1433
01:09:12,899 --> 01:09:14,649
You sneaky devil.

1434
01:09:16,736 --> 01:09:19,571
Well, hey,
I managed to sneak
one right past her.

1435
01:09:19,906 --> 01:09:21,823
Come on,
this woman
loves chocolate.

1436
01:09:21,908 --> 01:09:23,158
At least give
her a tiny nibble.

1437
01:09:23,284 --> 01:09:24,576
Give it to Momma.

1438
01:09:24,827 --> 01:09:27,996
Momma don't want this.
This is the only piece
that I have.

1439
01:09:28,081 --> 01:09:29,081
Idiot.

1440
01:09:29,248 --> 01:09:30,499
Break it in half.
Come on.

1441
01:09:30,625 --> 01:09:31,917
You know what?

1442
01:09:32,043 --> 01:09:34,169
Let's just leave
the surprises till tomorrow.

1443
01:09:34,253 --> 01:09:35,420
It's gonna be a great day.

1444
01:09:35,588 --> 01:09:36,755
I'd like
my surprise right now.

1445
01:09:36,881 --> 01:09:38,548
No, it's mine.
Come on!

1446
01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:40,926
Give it to me.
No.

1447
01:09:41,052 --> 01:09:42,761
Give the darn truffle.

1448
01:09:43,221 --> 01:09:44,304
(GASPS)

1449
01:09:45,098 --> 01:09:47,599
HAROLD: Steven,
that is so selfish.
(GAGGING)

1450
01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:49,559
It's good.

1451
01:09:49,644 --> 01:09:50,977
Is it? Is it sweet?

1452
01:09:52,772 --> 01:09:54,272
It's so sweet.

1453
01:09:55,149 --> 01:09:56,441
(GAGGING)

1454
01:09:57,110 --> 01:09:59,945
Close your mouth
when you chew, Steven.

1455
01:10:00,029 --> 01:10:01,113
Don't do that.

1456
01:10:01,239 --> 01:10:05,117
At least you could describe
to the lovely woman
how delicious it is.

1457
01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:09,788
Well, tastes like twigs
and berries.

1458
01:10:09,956 --> 01:10:11,748
Is it Swiss or
French chocolate?

1459
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,708
Maybe German.

1460
01:10:13,793 --> 01:10:16,378
Really? Is it creamy?

1461
01:10:17,588 --> 01:10:18,797
Yeah, it's creamy.

1462
01:10:18,923 --> 01:10:20,132
Easy to go down, right?

1463
01:10:20,216 --> 01:10:22,801
Well, I'm trying to
savor the flavor right now.

1464
01:10:23,136 --> 01:10:24,302
Is it fresh?

1465
01:10:24,470 --> 01:10:25,637
It's so fresh.

1466
01:10:25,763 --> 01:10:27,222
Nothing better than
when they're fresh.

1467
01:10:27,348 --> 01:10:28,807
Nothing better.

1468
01:10:28,933 --> 01:10:31,309
The problem is
you can't eat
just one, can you?

1469
01:10:31,436 --> 01:10:32,811
No, you can't.

1470
01:10:32,895 --> 01:10:35,397
But you've got to
know when to stop,
don't you?

1471
01:10:35,481 --> 01:10:37,816
You really do, but it's hard.
It's really hard.

1472
01:10:37,942 --> 01:10:39,985
Droppings
from the gods.

1473
01:10:41,154 --> 01:10:42,821
Get me another one, darling.
Come on.

1474
01:10:42,905 --> 01:10:45,574
You selfish boy.
Next time,
bring enough for everybody.

1475
01:10:45,658 --> 01:10:48,243
Let's keep this to ourselves?
Okay?

1476
01:10:48,327 --> 01:10:49,453
Okay.

1477
01:10:49,579 --> 01:10:50,745
I gotta go, okay.

1478
01:10:50,913 --> 01:10:53,832
Don't have any more,
because it's gonna
spoil your appetite.

1479
01:10:53,958 --> 01:10:56,960
Okay.
Hey, look, man, I gotta go.

1480
01:10:58,796 --> 01:11:00,005
(GROANS)

1481
01:11:03,509 --> 01:11:06,595
Grandma, I want you
to meet some people.

1482
01:11:09,015 --> 01:11:10,932
Grandma, this is Michelle.

1483
01:11:11,017 --> 01:11:13,602
I'm so proud to be
joining your family.

1484
01:11:14,020 --> 01:11:15,729
JIM:
She's real pretty, huh?

1485
01:11:17,773 --> 01:11:20,442
Isn't it great?
We're getting married.

1486
01:11:20,818 --> 01:11:22,569
It's amazing, Gram.

1487
01:11:25,531 --> 01:11:28,992
Not Jewish!
No wedding, Jimmy!
No wedding.

1488
01:11:29,452 --> 01:11:31,161
Forget it.
Grandma.

1489
01:11:31,245 --> 01:11:32,329
A goyeh!

1490
01:11:32,413 --> 01:11:33,538
Shit.

1491
01:11:33,664 --> 01:11:34,789
Jim, she hates me.

1492
01:11:34,957 --> 01:11:36,124
(GRUMBLES)

1493
01:11:36,584 --> 01:11:38,084
Oh, my God!

1494
01:11:38,169 --> 01:11:40,504
Grandma, look,
we love each other.

1495
01:11:40,588 --> 01:11:42,672
Michelle and I
love each other very much.

1496
01:11:42,798 --> 01:11:44,883
That's all that matters.
Grandma? Grandma?

1497
01:11:46,928 --> 01:11:48,637
Michelle? Michelle?

1498
01:11:51,265 --> 01:11:53,600
JIM'S DAD:
But Grandma's okay?
JIM: Oh, she's okay.

1499
01:11:53,726 --> 01:11:56,937
Oh, yeah, Dad. She's okay.
She's just a little tired.

1500
01:11:57,939 --> 01:12:00,815
My mother hasn't been well.
She's been feeling...

1501
01:12:00,900 --> 01:12:03,443
When your dad sees the look
on Grandma's face,

1502
01:12:03,528 --> 01:12:06,571
it's gonna break his heart.
Because of me.

1503
01:12:07,448 --> 01:12:10,825
It's not because of you.
Michelle, it's not
because of you at all.

1504
01:12:11,077 --> 01:12:13,995
It's because
Grandma thinks it's 1801.

1505
01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:17,791
Look, don't worry.
I'll come up with something.

1506
01:12:18,709 --> 01:12:20,877
I promised you
the wedding of your dreams

1507
01:12:21,003 --> 01:12:23,255
and I'm not gonna
let anything ruin it.

1508
01:12:24,465 --> 01:12:25,966
Oh! (CLEARS THROAT)

1509
01:12:26,384 --> 01:12:28,760
I would like to
propose a toast.

1510
01:12:28,844 --> 01:12:31,096
These last few weeks
have really been something

1511
01:12:31,180 --> 01:12:32,764
for my lovely wife and me.

1512
01:12:32,848 --> 01:12:36,101
We have met some people
we didn't know existed.

1513
01:12:36,185 --> 01:12:39,604
We've experienced
some things we didn't
think were possible.

1514
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:42,816
We've always tried to make
the best of every situation.

1515
01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:44,693
This is a good situation.

1516
01:12:44,819 --> 01:12:47,821
That's what I'm saying.
This is a wonderful situation.

1517
01:12:47,905 --> 01:12:51,992
The coming
together of two families
from different backgrounds.

1518
01:12:52,076 --> 01:12:55,745
So to our new son-in-law,
may we say Éireann go Bráugh.

1519
01:12:55,955 --> 01:12:59,124
And to our lovely
daughter Michelle,
L'Chaim.

1520
01:12:59,208 --> 01:13:01,042
Did I get that right?
Very good.

1521
01:13:01,127 --> 01:13:04,629
And let's hope we can
sit many happy
shivas together.

1522
01:13:06,465 --> 01:13:08,341
Here's to
a wonderful wedding.

1523
01:13:08,426 --> 01:13:10,010
Cheers.
Cheers.

1524
01:13:15,725 --> 01:13:18,393
See that, Shitbreak?
I told you I won.

1525
01:13:21,188 --> 01:13:22,188
Hey.
Hey.

1526
01:13:23,649 --> 01:13:28,320
I just wanted to say
I'm sorry if I freaked you out
with the whole kiss thing.

1527
01:13:28,821 --> 01:13:30,530
You didn't freak me out.

1528
01:13:30,615 --> 01:13:33,283
I just wanted to
let you know that

1529
01:13:34,118 --> 01:13:36,161
you make me feel special.

1530
01:13:37,079 --> 01:13:40,582
I think you're
the most special girl
I've ever known.

1531
01:13:41,709 --> 01:13:45,211
Maybe you'd
want to make things
extra special tonight.

1532
01:13:46,213 --> 01:13:48,089
Which room is yours?

1533
01:13:48,382 --> 01:13:50,383
I'm crashing at Kevin's.

1534
01:13:50,593 --> 01:13:51,718
Damn.

1535
01:13:51,886 --> 01:13:52,969
But I saw

1536
01:13:53,054 --> 01:13:56,765
a big, fluffy linen closet
at the end of
the main hallway.

1537
01:13:57,475 --> 01:13:58,475
Yes. Big,
fluffy linen closet is good.

1538
01:13:58,601 --> 01:13:59,643
Okay.

1539
01:13:59,727 --> 01:14:00,935
Midnight?
Yeah.

1540
01:14:01,020 --> 01:14:02,395
All right.
Okay.

1541
01:14:02,563 --> 01:14:03,730
Oh!

1542
01:14:05,691 --> 01:14:08,234
(SINGING) I'm going to
have-a sex-a with-a Cadence

1543
01:14:08,361 --> 01:14:10,904
I'm going to have-a
sex-a with-a Cadence

1544
01:14:11,113 --> 01:14:12,322
Whoo!

1545
01:14:16,744 --> 01:14:19,454
Jesus! You fucking stalker!

1546
01:14:20,289 --> 01:14:22,290
You're not
a very stealthy thief.

1547
01:14:22,416 --> 01:14:24,417
Really?
Guess what, Shitbreak?

1548
01:14:24,502 --> 01:14:26,419
It's a wedding.
Everything's free.

1549
01:14:26,587 --> 01:14:28,254
What do you want?

1550
01:14:29,590 --> 01:14:32,759
Stifler, Jim's grandma
doesn't approve
of the wedding.

1551
01:14:33,260 --> 01:14:35,637
We're trying to
run interference,

1552
01:14:36,639 --> 01:14:39,599
and, reluctantly,
I am asking for your help.

1553
01:14:39,934 --> 01:14:42,769
Sorry, Finchmeister,
I got plans with Cadence.

1554
01:14:43,979 --> 01:14:47,065
Stifler, maybe you could
forget about your dick
for one second

1555
01:14:47,149 --> 01:14:48,942
and actually be useful.

1556
01:14:49,735 --> 01:14:53,655
Fuck you, Finch.
You didn't eat shit, okay?

1557
01:14:53,739 --> 01:14:56,658
You didn't prance around
like a ballerina
for the whole week.

1558
01:14:56,742 --> 01:14:59,869
Wedding this,
suck my ass that.
I'm special, you're special.

1559
01:14:59,954 --> 01:15:02,372
We're all just
a bunch of special fuckers,
aren't we?

1560
01:15:02,456 --> 01:15:05,750
You know what?
I'm-a gonna get laid,
Finchfucker.

1561
01:15:05,835 --> 01:15:07,711
And it's gonna be oh-so-good.

1562
01:15:07,795 --> 01:15:09,254
It's gonna be like,
"You like this shit, momma?"

1563
01:15:09,338 --> 01:15:12,173
She's gonna be like,
"Fucking right, doggy.
Give it to me!

1564
01:15:12,258 --> 01:15:15,009
"Suck on my nipples
like you're milking a cow."

1565
01:15:15,136 --> 01:15:16,511
Like... (SUCKING)

1566
01:15:16,595 --> 01:15:17,929
(MEWING)

1567
01:15:27,398 --> 01:15:28,898
You been here long?

1568
01:15:29,024 --> 01:15:30,316
(SUCKING)

1569
01:15:30,776 --> 01:15:31,901
Oh, shit.

1570
01:15:35,156 --> 01:15:36,156
Yeah...

1571
01:15:36,574 --> 01:15:40,243
Cadence, it is
my distinct pleasure
to introduce you

1572
01:15:40,453 --> 01:15:43,538
to the real Steve Stifler.

1573
01:15:43,914 --> 01:15:46,332
Hi.

1574
01:15:48,836 --> 01:15:50,545
Pumpkin. (SIGHS)

1575
01:15:55,092 --> 01:15:57,218
You are quite
the gentleman, Stifler.

1576
01:15:57,303 --> 01:15:59,012
You could've told
me she was behind me.

1577
01:15:59,430 --> 01:16:03,475
Between Grandma,
Stifler, and Cadence...
The cake.

1578
01:16:03,851 --> 01:16:05,643
I mean, are you kidding me?

1579
01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:09,731
You know,
I thought I had grown
out of this sort of behavior.

1580
01:16:09,815 --> 01:16:14,110
But I keep messing up.
These things keep
happening to me.

1581
01:16:14,403 --> 01:16:16,529
If I can't bring it
together for one day,

1582
01:16:16,614 --> 01:16:19,699
how am I gonna
hold it together
for the rest of our lives?

1583
01:16:19,784 --> 01:16:22,368
I'm really afraid
this is how it's
always gonna be.

1584
01:16:22,453 --> 01:16:25,872
Yeah, but you always
manage to get yourself
into serious shit,

1585
01:16:25,956 --> 01:16:29,042
and somehow you always
come out of it better
than you went in.

1586
01:16:29,126 --> 01:16:30,502
I don't know how,
but you do.

1587
01:16:30,586 --> 01:16:32,295
Everything is gonna be fine.

1588
01:16:32,379 --> 01:16:33,379
Yeah...

1589
01:16:34,757 --> 01:16:38,510
You need to come into
the kitchen right now.
There's... Yeah.

1590
01:16:39,386 --> 01:16:40,386
Jesus, now what?

1591
01:16:43,974 --> 01:16:45,225
(SIGHS)

1592
01:16:46,435 --> 01:16:49,562
There is no way to remake
all these in time, is there?

1593
01:16:49,730 --> 01:16:51,815
Something must have
disrupted the power.

1594
01:16:51,899 --> 01:16:54,317
The compressors need time
to reset after a power loss

1595
01:16:54,401 --> 01:16:55,652
or they overheat.

1596
01:16:55,736 --> 01:16:58,738
Essentially, it turns
the refrigerator
into an oven.

1597
01:16:58,823 --> 01:17:01,533
Stifler was in here
earlier flipping switches.

1598
01:17:03,160 --> 01:17:05,161
Michelle, I am so sorry.

1599
01:17:08,499 --> 01:17:09,499
Hey.

1600
01:17:13,838 --> 01:17:15,380
Those flowers look hideous.

1601
01:17:15,506 --> 01:17:17,006
That's 'cause you
killed them, Stifler.

1602
01:17:17,091 --> 01:17:19,175
You've ruined everything.

1603
01:17:21,387 --> 01:17:23,221
What are you talking about?

1604
01:17:23,597 --> 01:17:27,058
You obviously don't care
about this wedding,
or anyone in it.

1605
01:17:29,436 --> 01:17:30,436
Cadence...

1606
01:17:34,358 --> 01:17:35,358
Jim?

1607
01:17:38,779 --> 01:17:40,572
Shitbreak, come on.

1608
01:17:47,037 --> 01:17:49,247
Maybe you should
just leave, Stifler.

1609
01:17:53,586 --> 01:17:55,587
Fine. Adiós.

1610
01:19:03,656 --> 01:19:05,490
STIFLER: Fuckers!
It's not my fault!

1611
01:19:06,909 --> 01:19:09,452
I'm not an electrical
Einstein. I'm not...

1612
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:13,081
Damn it.

1613
01:19:17,711 --> 01:19:18,920
Fuck!

1614
01:19:29,264 --> 01:19:31,307
Hey, flower fuckers,
you there?

1615
01:19:33,644 --> 01:19:34,727
"Zyskowski."

1616
01:19:46,448 --> 01:19:49,742
Hello? Are you awake?

1617
01:19:50,369 --> 01:19:53,413
Shit. Come on.
Come on. Anybody awake?

1618
01:19:53,831 --> 01:19:54,914
Oh!

1619
01:19:56,667 --> 01:19:57,959
Are you Ms. Zyskowski?

1620
01:19:58,085 --> 01:19:59,377
Who are you?

1621
01:19:59,461 --> 01:20:01,587
I'm the guy who just
killed all the flowers

1622
01:20:01,672 --> 01:20:03,923
for the Levenstein-Band
Geek wedding.

1623
01:20:04,049 --> 01:20:05,174
What?

1624
01:20:05,300 --> 01:20:06,467
Yeah, I'm that guy.

1625
01:20:06,593 --> 01:20:08,177
Now, what I need you to do

1626
01:20:08,262 --> 01:20:10,722
is drag your ass down
to your little store,

1627
01:20:10,806 --> 01:20:12,557
gather up some flowers,
slice them,

1628
01:20:12,683 --> 01:20:14,434
dice them,
jam them all together,

1629
01:20:14,518 --> 01:20:16,602
and cart that crap
down to the wedding.

1630
01:20:16,687 --> 01:20:18,813
Are you completely insane?

1631
01:20:19,273 --> 01:20:20,857
You have no idea.

1632
01:20:20,941 --> 01:20:22,567
Even if I
overlooked the fact

1633
01:20:22,651 --> 01:20:25,194
that this is the rudest thing
I have ever encountered,

1634
01:20:25,279 --> 01:20:27,780
there is no time to
redo all that work.

1635
01:20:27,865 --> 01:20:31,159
I had four assistants
working two full days
on that wedding.

1636
01:20:31,285 --> 01:20:34,370
I'm sorry. It's impossible.

1637
01:20:36,707 --> 01:20:38,249
(STIFLER SCOFFS)

1638
01:20:41,170 --> 01:20:43,588
We don't quit
at halftime, ma'am!

1639
01:20:43,714 --> 01:20:46,132
You don't score
until you score!

1640
01:20:51,513 --> 01:20:53,139
That's the spirit,
sweetheart.

1641
01:21:03,442 --> 01:21:05,485
STIFLER: Come on.
Fuck the pain.

1642
01:21:06,320 --> 01:21:07,820
You guys keep
working this hard,

1643
01:21:07,988 --> 01:21:09,530
we'll be able to
beat the Wildcats.

1644
01:21:09,615 --> 01:21:10,990
You remember how tough
they were last year.

1645
01:21:12,117 --> 01:21:14,410
Come on. Let's see
some determination.

1646
01:21:15,329 --> 01:21:16,913
Determination!

1647
01:21:17,372 --> 01:21:20,249
Hold the vase. That's it!

1648
01:21:21,835 --> 01:21:24,087
Come on.
Come on, keep working!

1649
01:21:28,383 --> 01:21:30,093
Good, Connor. Very good.

1650
01:21:30,177 --> 01:21:33,096
Good, DeBoer.
It really sucks.
Go fix it.

1651
01:21:33,222 --> 01:21:37,225
Hey, party guy, having
a good time? Can I get
you a gin and tonic?

1652
01:21:37,726 --> 01:21:41,437
Hold on a second.
Hello? Okay. It's for you.

1653
01:21:41,522 --> 01:21:43,272
It's get to work, fucker.

1654
01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:45,650
We are gathered here today

1655
01:21:45,734 --> 01:21:48,653
to join these
two great people
in a blessed union

1656
01:21:48,737 --> 01:21:50,863
and
blah-da-blah-da-blah
and crap.

1657
01:21:50,948 --> 01:21:53,157
Coach? This is kind of gay.

1658
01:21:55,285 --> 01:21:56,994
Yeah, it is.

1659
01:21:59,039 --> 01:22:00,289
Good work.

1660
01:22:00,415 --> 01:22:01,666
Hey, no problem.

1661
01:22:03,460 --> 01:22:05,169
So, you got
a date for this thing?

1662
01:22:05,254 --> 01:22:06,546
Don't push it.
Sorry.

1663
01:22:12,010 --> 01:22:13,386
Holy shit.

1664
01:22:14,346 --> 01:22:15,805
How the hell did this happen?

1665
01:22:15,931 --> 01:22:17,390
It's a miracle.

1666
01:22:18,559 --> 01:22:19,767
Stifler.

1667
01:22:19,893 --> 01:22:21,102
Save it, dickhead.
I'm working.

1668
01:22:32,030 --> 01:22:33,239
You're an asshole.

1669
01:22:33,407 --> 01:22:34,657
I know.

1670
01:22:35,576 --> 01:22:37,243
You really are an asshole.

1671
01:22:37,411 --> 01:22:39,120
Thanks.

1672
01:22:39,663 --> 01:22:40,788
(CLEARS THROAT)

1673
01:22:42,749 --> 01:22:44,709
I don't do apologies
so good.

1674
01:22:46,295 --> 01:22:48,546
Well,
you get an "A" for effort.
This is amazing.

1675
01:22:48,630 --> 01:22:49,797
(LAUGHS)

1676
01:22:49,965 --> 01:22:53,050
Cool. I was always
kind of a "C" student.

1677
01:22:54,136 --> 01:22:56,721
So did you do all this
just to have sex with me

1678
01:22:56,805 --> 01:22:59,307
or because you really care
about the wedding?

1679
01:22:59,391 --> 01:23:00,558
Both.

1680
01:23:02,644 --> 01:23:03,769
And...

1681
01:23:03,896 --> 01:23:05,438
(CLEARS THROAT)

1682
01:23:06,064 --> 01:23:07,273
I really like you.

1683
01:23:07,441 --> 01:23:08,691
What?

1684
01:23:11,236 --> 01:23:12,737
I like you.

1685
01:23:12,863 --> 01:23:14,363
That's an honest answer.

1686
01:23:15,240 --> 01:23:16,699
I gotta go.

1687
01:23:23,123 --> 01:23:26,709
Steve Stifler
just gave a rose to
a girl, and meant it.

1688
01:23:27,085 --> 01:23:28,502
This is huge.

1689
01:23:28,587 --> 01:23:32,256
It's like watching monkeys
use tools for the first time.

1690
01:23:32,966 --> 01:23:35,092
Are you still pissed
about me and Cadence?

1691
01:23:35,177 --> 01:23:36,719
No, let's see,

1692
01:23:36,803 --> 01:23:39,347
she wasn't into
the heavy
intellectual stuff.

1693
01:23:39,431 --> 01:23:42,058
She actually liked me
being that imbecile.

1694
01:23:42,434 --> 01:23:45,603
No. Somehow, I think
she's probably
better off with you.

1695
01:23:46,480 --> 01:23:48,231
Thanks, Shitbreak.

1696
01:23:52,486 --> 01:23:55,446
Dick. I fucking
hate not hating you.

1697
01:23:59,826 --> 01:24:01,661
I did fuck your mom.

1698
01:24:03,872 --> 01:24:04,956
Twice.

1699
01:24:06,833 --> 01:24:08,125
That's better, fucker!

1700
01:24:08,210 --> 01:24:09,460
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

1701
01:24:11,171 --> 01:24:12,213
Oh. Whoa!

1702
01:24:13,257 --> 01:24:14,465
Ready to go?

1703
01:24:14,549 --> 01:24:15,633
Um...

1704
01:24:15,717 --> 01:24:17,343
The wedding's not
for another hour.

1705
01:24:17,511 --> 01:24:19,095
No, I mean you and me.

1706
01:24:19,179 --> 01:24:20,221
(GASPS)

1707
01:24:20,305 --> 01:24:21,639
Hold on.

1708
01:24:21,723 --> 01:24:23,849
Do I still got to do
this bullshit meeting?

1709
01:24:23,934 --> 01:24:26,102
Stifler, you are not
bailing on Jim.

1710
01:24:26,186 --> 01:24:29,146
Shit! Give me 10 minutes?

1711
01:24:32,484 --> 01:24:34,026
I'll meet you at the closet.

1712
01:24:34,152 --> 01:24:35,736
At the closet.

1713
01:24:43,245 --> 01:24:45,288
You wanted to
see me, Michelle?

1714
01:24:45,414 --> 01:24:47,415
Oh! Okay. Sit.

1715
01:24:50,294 --> 01:24:53,963
So, Jim said
that you've always kind
of been there for him

1716
01:24:54,047 --> 01:24:55,339
when he needed you.

1717
01:24:55,424 --> 01:24:57,675
So I thought maybe
you could help me.

1718
01:24:57,968 --> 01:24:59,510
Jim said that?

1719
01:25:03,390 --> 01:25:05,224
What's the problem?

1720
01:25:09,521 --> 01:25:11,605
I still can't
get my vows right.

1721
01:25:12,274 --> 01:25:15,234
I haven't been this confused
since I got my first period.

1722
01:25:15,319 --> 01:25:17,945
That's a very confusing time
for any young lady.

1723
01:25:18,030 --> 01:25:21,365
You know, your body is
going through changes.

1724
01:25:23,827 --> 01:25:26,329
Stuff coming out,
stuff going in.

1725
01:25:26,872 --> 01:25:29,999
No. I need help with
my vows, not my period.

1726
01:25:30,083 --> 01:25:32,251
Oh, your vows.
(CHUCKLING) Your vows.

1727
01:25:32,669 --> 01:25:36,172
Yes, good. Go on.

1728
01:25:36,506 --> 01:25:39,258
Jim just wants
a groomsmen meeting
before the wedding.

1729
01:25:39,343 --> 01:25:43,304
It shouldn't take long.
Just don't let
her talk to anyone.

1730
01:25:43,388 --> 01:25:44,430
All right.

1731
01:25:44,598 --> 01:25:45,639
Be careful. She's feisty.

1732
01:25:50,187 --> 01:25:51,729
Okay, let's go.

1733
01:25:52,230 --> 01:25:55,483
Hey, guys.
Thanks for coming out
here and meeting me.

1734
01:25:55,901 --> 01:25:58,194
I just have a couple
of things I want to say.

1735
01:25:58,278 --> 01:25:59,737
This sucks.

1736
01:26:04,034 --> 01:26:05,743
Did I say that out loud?

1737
01:26:08,455 --> 01:26:10,247
Keep going. It's good.

1738
01:26:11,458 --> 01:26:14,710
You know, I thought
about what you said, Kev,

1739
01:26:15,295 --> 01:26:18,422
about how my problems
always seem to work out.

1740
01:26:18,548 --> 01:26:22,593
And I realized that
the reason
things always work out

1741
01:26:23,637 --> 01:26:27,431
is because you guys
have always been there
to back me up.

1742
01:26:27,766 --> 01:26:29,517
Even you, Stifler.

1743
01:26:32,020 --> 01:26:34,146
For the first time
in my life,

1744
01:26:34,689 --> 01:26:39,151
I actually feel like
I can't mess anything up.

1745
01:26:39,319 --> 01:26:40,653
(SCOFFS)

1746
01:26:41,780 --> 01:26:43,864
Which is pretty amazing.

1747
01:26:44,741 --> 01:26:50,454
So I guess I just
wanted to say thank you.

1748
01:26:52,958 --> 01:26:54,166
Thanks.

1749
01:26:55,502 --> 01:26:58,504
Thanks? This whole
thing was about thanks?

1750
01:26:58,630 --> 01:26:59,713
(GRUNTS)

1751
01:26:59,840 --> 01:27:02,007
You're welcome, cock block.

1752
01:27:04,678 --> 01:27:06,679
That was good, Jim.
Real nice.

1753
01:27:07,389 --> 01:27:09,265
Let's get you married.

1754
01:27:09,349 --> 01:27:10,558
Okay.

1755
01:27:11,643 --> 01:27:15,062
Love is very
difficult to describe.

1756
01:27:15,147 --> 01:27:18,232
And I understand the angst.
I mean, it's your wedding.

1757
01:27:18,316 --> 01:27:20,776
And it's natural.
It's perfectly natural.

1758
01:27:21,403 --> 01:27:24,196
But it's impossible
to describe a feeling.

1759
01:27:24,322 --> 01:27:27,366
Okay, first,
nothing is impossible.

1760
01:27:27,701 --> 01:27:29,535
So let's not focus on that.

1761
01:27:29,703 --> 01:27:32,037
Why do you think, Michelle,

1762
01:27:32,873 --> 01:27:35,541
they call it making love?

1763
01:27:37,377 --> 01:27:39,920
I don't know.
I just call it boning.

1764
01:27:42,215 --> 01:27:43,382
"Boning"?

1765
01:27:45,385 --> 01:27:47,428
When you're doing
other things with Jim,

1766
01:27:47,554 --> 01:27:49,680
when you're not boning,

1767
01:27:49,890 --> 01:27:52,057
how does he make you feel?

1768
01:27:53,602 --> 01:27:55,186
Horny, like I want to bone.

1769
01:27:55,270 --> 01:27:58,355
But we can't be boning
from sunrise to sunset, dear.

1770
01:27:58,565 --> 01:28:00,232
Oh, you've never tried it?

1771
01:28:00,442 --> 01:28:04,236
I certainly have.
I have. I've boned.

1772
01:28:04,905 --> 01:28:08,240
From sunrise,
right through brunch,
on more than one occasion.

1773
01:28:08,366 --> 01:28:10,284
But boning aside,

1774
01:28:11,745 --> 01:28:14,288
I think they call it
making love because

1775
01:28:14,831 --> 01:28:16,957
you have to make love work.

1776
01:28:17,918 --> 01:28:21,003
You know, it's about
compromise and sacrifice

1777
01:28:21,087 --> 01:28:23,005
and I think Jim has
sacrificed for you.

1778
01:28:23,089 --> 01:28:25,716
My God, he shaved his
entire pubic region,

1779
01:28:25,800 --> 01:28:27,927
which would
baffle most cultures

1780
01:28:28,094 --> 01:28:30,221
around the world,
but he did it.

1781
01:28:30,305 --> 01:28:33,432
And he did it for you.

1782
01:28:35,018 --> 01:28:38,646
You're right.
Love isn't just a feeling.

1783
01:28:39,439 --> 01:28:41,440
It's shaving your balls.

1784
01:28:42,442 --> 01:28:43,943
Thanks, Dad.

1785
01:28:45,195 --> 01:28:48,739
I wouldn't get
into too much detail
on that, dear.

1786
01:28:49,199 --> 01:28:51,075
Excuse me.
Pardon me. Excuse me.

1787
01:28:51,243 --> 01:28:53,118
Yeah. Excuse me.
Touch me. Fuck me.

1788
01:28:53,286 --> 01:28:55,204
I'm gonna have
sex with Cadence.

1789
01:29:04,798 --> 01:29:06,715
You know, Son,
I think this is probably

1790
01:29:06,841 --> 01:29:08,842
the right time to
tell you that...

1791
01:29:12,430 --> 01:29:13,889
I know, Dad.

1792
01:29:24,192 --> 01:29:25,401
(CLATTERING)

1793
01:29:25,527 --> 01:29:27,361
STIFLER:
I can't see anything here.

1794
01:29:28,822 --> 01:29:30,322
(CLATTERING)

1795
01:29:31,575 --> 01:29:33,242
Oh, there you are.

1796
01:29:34,536 --> 01:29:37,997
Guys, what are you doing?
Where's Jim's grandma?

1797
01:29:38,290 --> 01:29:40,624
The old bitch sucked.
We had to ditch her.

1798
01:29:40,709 --> 01:29:41,917
You what?

1799
01:29:42,002 --> 01:29:44,878
Don't worry.
We put her someplace
no one will find her.

1800
01:29:44,963 --> 01:29:46,171
(CLICKS TONGUE)

1801
01:29:46,548 --> 01:29:48,090
Cadence, where are
you going?

1802
01:29:48,216 --> 01:29:49,717
Oh, Mom.

1803
01:29:51,636 --> 01:29:54,513
STIFLER: Oh, baby,
I'm so ready for this.

1804
01:29:54,598 --> 01:29:55,973
(UNZIPPING)

1805
01:29:56,975 --> 01:30:00,436
Your body's not quite
what I was expecting.
But that's okay.

1806
01:30:01,104 --> 01:30:03,689
The Stiffman digs
what's underneath.
(CHUCKLES)

1807
01:30:04,190 --> 01:30:05,232
(STIFLER MOANS)

1808
01:30:05,358 --> 01:30:08,319
Oh, you are so beautiful.

1809
01:30:10,030 --> 01:30:11,363
I just wanted...

1810
01:30:11,698 --> 01:30:12,740
(BOTH GASP)

1811
01:30:12,824 --> 01:30:13,866
Stifler!

1812
01:30:14,409 --> 01:30:15,534
Granny.

1813
01:30:15,702 --> 01:30:16,827
Granny what?

1814
01:30:16,911 --> 01:30:18,746
Focus! Focus! Focus!

1815
01:30:18,830 --> 01:30:19,872
(EXCLAIMS)

1816
01:30:19,998 --> 01:30:22,499
It's not what
it looks like!

1817
01:30:22,709 --> 01:30:23,751
(GROANS)

1818
01:30:24,002 --> 01:30:25,210
Shut the fucking door!

1819
01:30:25,337 --> 01:30:26,545
You got it, champ.

1820
01:30:26,630 --> 01:30:27,838
(GROANS)

1821
01:30:28,798 --> 01:30:30,132
(YELLS)
(CLATTERING)

1822
01:30:36,306 --> 01:30:38,223
(GUESTS EXCLAIM SOFTLY)

1823
01:30:40,727 --> 01:30:42,519
(CAMERAS CLICKING)

1824
01:30:50,862 --> 01:30:52,154
You're a hero.

1825
01:30:53,114 --> 01:30:54,948
Hey, pussy's pussy.

1826
01:30:57,035 --> 01:30:59,745
Look at the smile
on my mother's face.

1827
01:31:00,413 --> 01:31:03,832
Do you know how
long she's been waiting
for a day like this?

1828
01:31:04,125 --> 01:31:05,834
I can't imagine.

1829
01:31:11,925 --> 01:31:13,050
I couldn't be happier.

1830
01:31:13,176 --> 01:31:14,343
Thank you.

1831
01:31:16,846 --> 01:31:18,055
Don't.

1832
01:31:21,226 --> 01:31:23,143
Good luck.
Thank you, sir.

1833
01:31:28,608 --> 01:31:30,567
What made Grandma
come around?

1834
01:31:30,652 --> 01:31:32,111
Finch said
Stifler talked to her.

1835
01:31:32,278 --> 01:31:33,779
Stifler?

1836
01:31:37,283 --> 01:31:39,118
Grandmotherfucker.

1837
01:31:39,953 --> 01:31:41,745
You're a motherfucker.

1838
01:31:41,871 --> 01:31:43,747
Yes, I am.

1839
01:31:44,290 --> 01:31:46,250
You son of a bitch.

1840
01:31:47,419 --> 01:31:51,004
And I promise to love you
for as long as I shall live.

1841
01:31:51,631 --> 01:31:55,300
Michelle,
you are the one woman
I want to be with

1842
01:31:55,677 --> 01:31:58,137
and the woman
I can't be without.

1843
01:31:58,888 --> 01:32:01,306
I love you.

1844
01:32:05,812 --> 01:32:07,020
(SNIFFS)

1845
01:32:17,949 --> 01:32:23,287
Jim, I had trouble
finding the words to
tell you how I feel

1846
01:32:24,372 --> 01:32:26,081
and I realized something.

1847
01:32:26,458 --> 01:32:28,751
Love isn't just a feeling.

1848
01:32:29,961 --> 01:32:32,087
Love is something you do.

1849
01:32:32,505 --> 01:32:35,924
It's a dress,
a visit to band camp,

1850
01:32:36,342 --> 01:32:38,260
a special haircut.

1851
01:32:39,679 --> 01:32:42,723
Jim, you've given me
everything I've ever wanted,

1852
01:32:43,224 --> 01:32:47,686
and it is my solemn vow
to give everything
I am to you.

1853
01:32:52,609 --> 01:32:53,859
Thanks.

1854
01:33:02,285 --> 01:33:06,413
James Emanuel Levenstein
and Michelle
Annabeth Flaherty,

1855
01:33:06,498 --> 01:33:09,291
I hereby pronounce you
husband and wife.

1856
01:33:09,959 --> 01:33:12,002
You may kiss the bride.

1857
01:33:29,979 --> 01:33:33,982
MAN: Let's all welcome
Mr. And Mrs.
Jim and Michelle Levenstein

1858
01:33:34,067 --> 01:33:35,526
onto the dance floor.

1859
01:33:35,610 --> 01:33:36,652
Just follow my lead.

1860
01:33:36,778 --> 01:33:37,820
I'll try.

1861
01:33:37,946 --> 01:33:39,446
(MUSIC PLAYING)

1862
01:34:08,226 --> 01:34:09,726
(SOFTLY) I taught him that.

1863
01:34:10,770 --> 01:34:13,564
Jim, you learnt to dance.

1864
01:34:49,475 --> 01:34:50,851
(INAUDIBLE)

1865
01:34:55,356 --> 01:34:57,649
Well, it seems like
everything worked out.

1866
01:34:57,734 --> 01:34:59,151
Magnificently.

1867
01:34:59,319 --> 01:35:00,777
I feel a bit sad

1868
01:35:00,862 --> 01:35:04,156
that tonight
our little Michelle
is gonna be a woman.

1869
01:35:04,991 --> 01:35:08,076
Honey, you don't
honestly believe that
Michelle is still a...

1870
01:35:08,161 --> 01:35:11,872
I tell you, Mary,
I can't recall a single moment
with either one of them

1871
01:35:11,956 --> 01:35:13,790
that would make
me think otherwise.

1872
01:35:13,875 --> 01:35:15,709
Thank you. See?

1873
01:35:16,753 --> 01:35:18,295
(EXHALES) Whoa!

1874
01:35:26,346 --> 01:35:27,846
Hey, tough guy.

1875
01:35:28,014 --> 01:35:29,514
Stifler's mom.

1876
01:35:31,684 --> 01:35:33,226
Well, we meet again.

1877
01:35:34,562 --> 01:35:37,105
I was curious.
Didn't see you here.

1878
01:35:37,607 --> 01:35:39,900
I try to keep a low profile.

1879
01:35:40,193 --> 01:35:42,819
I never really did
like these things, anyway.

1880
01:35:42,904 --> 01:35:46,239
You know,
this has actually made
quite an impression on me.

1881
01:35:46,491 --> 01:35:49,159
I have something to
look for in a woman now.

1882
01:35:49,243 --> 01:35:52,663
Well, if this is your idea
of a proposal, Finchy,

1883
01:35:52,872 --> 01:35:54,748
you gotta know
that I'm over you now.

1884
01:35:54,832 --> 01:35:56,541
And I'm over you.

1885
01:35:57,669 --> 01:36:00,587
But as they say,
we will always have Paris.

1886
01:36:01,005 --> 01:36:02,047
And the pool table.

1887
01:36:02,131 --> 01:36:03,173
And the car.

1888
01:36:03,299 --> 01:36:05,217
And the two-room
suite I have upstairs.

1889
01:36:05,301 --> 01:36:06,718
Come here.

1890
01:36:12,684 --> 01:36:15,519
This turned out better
than I could ever imagine.

1891
01:36:16,062 --> 01:36:19,398
How did a little perv
like you turn into such
a great guy?

1892
01:36:19,857 --> 01:36:23,235
How did a little
nympho like you
turn into such a great girl?

1893
01:36:23,319 --> 01:36:24,569
I'm still a nympho.

1894
01:36:24,696 --> 01:36:25,946
I'm still a perv.

1895
01:36:26,239 --> 01:36:29,074
I know.
What's wrong with us?

1896
01:36:36,791 --> 01:36:38,709
You did it.

1897
01:36:47,844 --> 01:36:52,472
You know, Michelle,
to quote someone I've
learned quite a bit from,

1898
01:36:53,474 --> 01:36:55,892
I think you and I are

1899
01:36:55,977 --> 01:36:59,438
"a perfectly natural,
normal thing."

1900
01:37:01,065 --> 01:37:02,774
Perfectly natural.

1901
01:37:21,377 --> 01:37:22,377
That's her.

1902
01:37:22,462 --> 01:37:23,628
Holy shit, dude.

1903
01:37:24,380 --> 01:37:26,548
I told you this
wedding would be worth it.

1904
01:37:26,674 --> 01:37:28,842
Oh, my goddess. My queen.

1905
01:37:29,594 --> 01:37:31,553
My MILF.
MILF.

1906
01:37:31,804 --> 01:37:33,847
(BOTH REPEATING)

1907
01:37:36,059 --> 01:37:37,517
(EXCLAIMS SOFTLY)

1908
01:37:48,863 --> 01:37:51,031
No way, bro.

1909
01:37:51,491 --> 01:37:54,618
Hey, you're not
finished yet,
are you, Finchy?

1910
01:37:55,661 --> 01:37:58,705
No, ma'am.
Just getting started.

1911
01:37:59,373 --> 01:38:01,750
This guy is
the fucking master.

1912
01:38:03,961 --> 01:38:05,796
Oh, no!

1913
01:38:05,963 --> 01:38:07,798
Make it stop.
Make it stop.

1914
01:38:08,424 --> 01:38:10,300
Oh, Stifler's mom.

1915
01:38:11,636 --> 01:38:13,637
(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

1916
01:40:23,434 --> 01:40:25,727
(ALTERNATIVE
ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)