1 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Subtitle Modified by : SDR 2 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,477 One, two, three... 3 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:01,020 Hold up. 4 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,815 Here's the story about a man 5 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,318 A simple man 6 00:01:08,194 --> 00:01:11,947 A man with a dream To do the world some good 7 00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:14,617 Here's a story for rich and poor 8 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:16,827 For young and for old 9 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:21,332 About a man from the 'hood Trying to do the world some good 10 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,876 Here's the story about a man 11 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,212 An everyday man 12 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:29,590 A man with a dream 13 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,884 To be the head of state 14 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:40,184 Alderman Gilliam's office. What are you upset about? 15 00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:42,520 It's not a black-owned business? 16 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:46,106 - But it's a Chinese food restaurant. - So, what's with the fried rice? 17 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:49,360 I know it's fried rice, but it's not "fried" rice. 18 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:51,362 Alderman Gilliam's office. 19 00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:53,739 Kim. How is it going, honey? 20 00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:55,466 - Got tickets to the symphony. - Really? 21 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:59,245 - Hold on a second, I got another call. - You better not put me on hold. 22 00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:01,872 Vote for Gaines and James. 23 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:05,793 - The Million Babies Mamas March? - It's a very good cause. 24 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,295 Call Reverend Barton for that one. No... 25 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,966 you can't use food stamps to buy tires. 26 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:15,553 I'm sorry, Mr. Hawkins. What can I do for you? 27 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,096 Your girlfriend is on hold. 28 00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:19,431 - Hold on a second. - How could you put me on hold? 29 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:22,309 - What was it, Mr. Hawkins? - The bus. 30 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:25,062 I read that they're going to shut down our bus line. 31 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:27,481 If they do that, I can't get to work! 32 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,317 Unless they give me a job in that new mall they're building. 33 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,153 Don't worry. I've been talking to the people downtown... 34 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,738 and I promise you this: 35 00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:38,534 If they shut down this bus line, I will drive you to work myself. 36 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,494 You got my word. 37 00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:44,164 Alderman Gilliam, quick! Miss Pearl is back! 38 00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,666 Okay. I got to go. 39 00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:56,844 Hi, that's me, Mays Gilliam, alderman of the 9th Ward of Washington, D.C. 40 00:02:57,136 --> 00:02:59,430 Not the part of D.C. you're familiar with. 41 00:02:59,597 --> 00:03:03,767 I work in a neighborhood so bad, you can get shot while you're getting shot. 42 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:06,061 Around here when people have a problem... 43 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,355 they don't call the mayor, they call me. 44 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,529 Miss Pearl! 45 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,824 What's going on? 46 00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:24,288 Dionne is in the house. I know she is. 47 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,248 I don't know what she's talking about. 48 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:28,292 We checked the house, nobody is in there. 49 00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,461 Hey, man, Dionne is her cat. 50 00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:33,213 Whatever. Cats got nine lives. She'll be fine. 51 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:36,091 Can we let one guy go in and help this lady get her cat? 52 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:39,428 Can't do it. Once they laid the explosives, there's nothing I can do. 53 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:40,638 She just showed up. 54 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:43,849 You took the lady's house. Can you at least let her get her cat? 55 00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,976 We didn't take it, we gave her $40,000. 56 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:49,855 What kind of house is she supposed to get with $40,000? A crack house? 57 00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:52,149 I think she'd be happy to get out of this rattrap. 58 00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:54,735 Who are you to call this place a rattrap? 59 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,029 This is my neighborhood, where I'm from. 60 00:03:57,196 --> 00:03:59,073 I got my first bike stolen right there. 61 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,325 My daddy got his bike stolen right there. 62 00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:02,826 When I have a son... 63 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,496 I hope he's fortunate enough to get stuck up right there. 64 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:08,248 - Can't you let somebody go check? - We already looked. 65 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,584 There's nothing in there. We got work to do. 66 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,378 Leave the people alone, damn it! 67 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,213 - Let's get this thing going. - Come on. 68 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:17,091 - Stop being in such a hurry. - We've been here all morning. 69 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,093 Let the lady go inside. 70 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:22,054 Come on, baby! Sugar baby. 71 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:25,599 Could you at least turn it off? Let the lady get her cat. 72 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:29,144 Dionne, baby? I got something for you! 73 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:32,564 Miss Pearl, no! 74 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:38,320 All right, turn it off. Wait till this woman gets her cat. 75 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:39,905 Shit, it's not working! 76 00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:41,198 Turn it off! 77 00:04:41,699 --> 00:04:44,076 She better get out, it's going to blow! 78 00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,787 Miss Pearl! Come out! 79 00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:48,998 No, Mays! 80 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,418 You've only got a minute! 81 00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:57,381 - Fix it! Get to work. - I'm trying. 82 00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:59,258 Get a union man on this. 83 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,427 Get your ass out! 84 00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:08,434 Miss Pearl, we got to get out of here. They're going to blow this place up. 85 00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:12,521 They wouldn't do that, baby! They know we're in here. 86 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:16,734 I love you, I've known you a long time. You've seen a lot in your life. 87 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,820 You've seen churches burnt to the ground, dogs sicced on kids... 88 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,114 you've seen Malcolm X and JFK killed. 89 00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,241 They shut up Muhammad Ali and Richard Pryor. 90 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,994 They gave Magic Johnson AIDS, turned Michael Jackson white. 91 00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:30,456 Do you really think these people give a damn about you? 92 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:55,230 We interrupt the Jay-Z song to bring you this special bulletin. 93 00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:57,399 Presidential candidate Senator Gaines... 94 00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,401 and his running mate, General Olson James... 95 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:02,488 were both killed when their planes crashed into each other. 96 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:05,741 We now return you to the Jay-Z song already in progress. 97 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:25,636 What's up? 98 00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:28,972 Trying to be like you, hero! What's up, man? Saving kittens? 99 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,474 Don't steal my car now. 100 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:34,686 I don't want that garbage. What will I do, feed your car to my car? 101 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:39,316 Let me get ten Nine Lives, four Lucky Ducks, two Straight Pokers... 102 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,568 three Crabpots and five Powerballs. 103 00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:44,238 Thank you, here you go. 104 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,453 You all need to stop. 105 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,752 Why are all these people clapping? 106 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,505 - You didn't see me on the news? - No, I didn't. 107 00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:03,590 I got meat! 108 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:07,386 More beef than East Coast, West Coast rap. Check it out! 109 00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,597 Superman! Saving lives and stuff. 110 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,933 Why don't you cop one of these pork chops? 111 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:16,228 Know what you need to do? You need to leave. I won't tell you again. 112 00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:19,606 Nobody wants your meat. Who the hell wants to buy stolen meat? 113 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,151 - I'll take a T-bone. - You like gizzards, too? 114 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,739 Did you hear about that guy running for President? 115 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,449 Who will replace him? 116 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,411 Maybe they should get Shaq. Nobody can beat him. 117 00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:34,872 Are you getting gas? You're holding my line up. 118 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,373 Yeah, I'm sorry. 119 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,292 $10 on three. 120 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,346 You've got a lot of nerve hanging up on me. 121 00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:52,598 Hanging up? 122 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:55,976 - What's going on? - I'm leaving you! That's what's going on. 123 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,270 The only reason I accepted this engagement ring... 124 00:07:58,437 --> 00:07:59,855 from you in the first place... 125 00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:02,816 is because I thought you had potential! 126 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,194 I thought you wanted more! 127 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,906 Why can't you just play the game? Wear a suit! 128 00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:10,991 Be a real politician! 129 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:14,369 What's my clothes have to do with... Are you seeing somebody else? 130 00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,538 I'm seeing everybody else! 131 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:20,167 I've met mosquitoes with more force than you. 132 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:24,213 I'm tired of your little games, tired of being your little secretary. 133 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,381 Here's the light bill. I didn't pay it. 134 00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,884 Here's the cable bill. I didn't pay that, either. 135 00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:31,637 And here's the bill for your car note. 136 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,722 I hope they take it! 137 00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,725 Wait a minute, that's my car! 138 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,477 Wait, come back! 139 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:42,439 I hate that piece of shit! 140 00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:47,361 I'm tired of spending my time waiting for you to quit acting like a child... 141 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,822 and act like a grown man for a change, Mays! 142 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:52,991 I need to get on with my life! 143 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,369 I want a house, I want children! 144 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,664 I want to go on vacation! You're horrible in bed! 145 00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:02,167 I am tired of being engaged. I am tired of being... 146 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:08,924 I wish you would. 147 00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,764 For the last time, I'm not running for President. 148 00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:19,893 I'm not crazy! Gaines was 20 points behind. It's ten weeks to Election Day. 149 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,186 Damn it! 150 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:24,982 They should have known better than to talk on a cell phone in a plane. 151 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,317 - What about Sanderson? - That's a joke. 152 00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,653 Lewis has been Vice-President for eight years. 153 00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:32,364 He's a war hero and Sharon Stone's cousin. He can't lose. 154 00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,157 - What about Mosley? - Girls. 155 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,367 - Connelly? - Boys. 156 00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:37,244 - McMasters? - Big boys. 157 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,705 So we concede the election to Lewis? 158 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:43,875 Nobody is talking about conceding, Debra, but let's get real here. 159 00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,669 We'll lose this one. 160 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:49,881 The thing to do is to set the party up for the next election. 161 00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:53,093 We need a candidate that will put on a good show. 162 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:56,638 This isn't a circus, it's a presidential election. 163 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,224 You can't just pick some guy... 164 00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:02,060 to run for President. 165 00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:05,397 It's unprecedented, but if I put in a call to the party chairman... 166 00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,733 we find a candidate, he'll back him. 167 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,527 Who will run a race they know they can't win? 168 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,112 Who says he has to know? 169 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,080 What the... 170 00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:34,760 What now? 171 00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:40,182 No, not my bike! 172 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,982 When I went in there I wasn't thinking about being a hero. 173 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,318 I was just trying to help Miss Pearl. 174 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:52,778 Miss Pearl. 175 00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:55,155 I think we found our man. 176 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,532 Look at this! This is great! 177 00:10:57,783 --> 00:10:59,785 This is America, see? 178 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:03,330 Little guy against the big guy, corporations against the people. 179 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,332 Young versus old. What's better than this? 180 00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,250 Give me a break! 181 00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:09,961 I am going to run an alderman for President? 182 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,964 He's not an alderman. 183 00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:14,633 He's a hero. 184 00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:18,637 - Who doesn't like a hero? - Big business loves a hero! 185 00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:19,846 See? 186 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,349 You said we needed somebody who can help the party. 187 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:25,310 Now, how in the hell does this guy help the party? 188 00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:26,937 I'm glad you asked. 189 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,023 The United States is changing. America is changing. 190 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,192 Inside of 20 years, you know the numbers... 191 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:36,154 20 percent black, 21 percent Asian, 39 percent Hispanic. 192 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:40,450 The minorities will be the majority. The smartest thing we can do... 193 00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:45,038 is be the first party to nominate a minority for President. 194 00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:48,041 - How about a cripple? - I don't think so, Charlie. 195 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:52,712 Now, we'll lose, of course, but the minorities will be happy. 196 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:57,843 The minorities will be happy and they will vote for us in 2008... 197 00:11:58,009 --> 00:11:59,803 because we've shown we support them. 198 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:02,514 And the white people will vote for us... 199 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,392 - because our guy isn't black. - You got my vote! 200 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:09,020 Geller, see if you can track down this Mays Gilliam. 201 00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:13,191 Go check our accounts. 202 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:26,163 Give me one good reason why I should go along with this. 203 00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:30,125 Don't you get it, Debra? I intend to run for President in 2008. 204 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:35,255 Now give me one reason why you shouldn't. 205 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,219 He would take a lot of work. 206 00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,555 We can run a background check... 207 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,807 but it's obvious he's not a party line candidate. 208 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,602 He's just some kid who thinks he can make a difference. 209 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,521 Don't worry. Go out there, put the machine behind him. 210 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:54,566 You get 25 points in the polls, consider it a win. 211 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,110 Make sure he doesn't embarrass us. 212 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,863 After this is over, we get to work. 213 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:04,534 When I'm President, I'll take care of you. 214 00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:08,997 Help me. They locked me out of my office. 215 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:11,875 I know. The mayor is fed up with you. 216 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:16,254 How many times have I told you? You got to quit trying to fix shit. 217 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,466 I could've got you into the council next term. Now you're red-lined. 218 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,301 Shannon is taking over your district. 219 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,804 They need to smooth over the mall situation, that bus thing is heating up. 220 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,097 They don't trust you. 221 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,933 I'm not the one stealing people's houses. 222 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:31,144 That's what your problem is. You got to work with us. 223 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,731 That shit you pulled over there cost the city money. 224 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:36,858 Makes the mayor look bad. 225 00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:41,780 Now, contrary to popular belief, politics is no place to express yourself. 226 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,115 You want to get in, you got to fit in. 227 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:47,160 And look at you. Grow up, you got to dress better. 228 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,955 Even Puff Daddy wears a suit to court. 229 00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:55,293 I'm sorry, brother, but ain't nothing I can do. 230 00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:01,049 - Nice car. - Ain't it, though? 231 00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:03,718 Got it for a song at a repo auction. 232 00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,868 He feels bad, mighty low 233 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,829 Got nowhere to go 234 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,540 What can you do when you're feeling low 235 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,667 Man, I want to know 236 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,754 He feels bad, mighty low Got nowhere to go 237 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:43,216 What can you do when you're feeling low 238 00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:46,011 And your car just got repo'd 239 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,458 Here we are. 240 00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:18,835 Mays Gilliam, Debra Lassiter. 241 00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:22,714 Nice to meet you. Take a seat. 242 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,556 We know what happened today. We know you lost your job. 243 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,851 How do you know that? It just happened. 244 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:37,395 We're the government. We know everything. 245 00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,357 We'd like you to do something for us. 246 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:44,027 Sure, I'd love to work on a presidential campaign. 247 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,155 I'll make phone calls, send out fliers. 248 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:50,283 Who have you guys chosen to run against Lewis? 249 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,286 That's exactly what we wanted to talk to you about. 250 00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:56,748 We'd like you to run for President. 251 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:06,383 - Of what? - The United States. 252 00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:09,386 - Of what? - Of America. 253 00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:10,720 Which America? 254 00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,097 North... 255 00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:14,182 America, Mays. 256 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:15,975 Get out of here! 257 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:17,936 We're not joking. 258 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:21,690 We want you to be the nominee for the office of President... 259 00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:24,150 of the United States of America. 260 00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:31,324 Let me get this straight. 261 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:35,328 You guys couldn't find anybody else to run? You couldn't find nobody? 262 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,996 Something is wrong here. 263 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,165 You couldn't find a congressman... 264 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,876 a senator? I'm just an alderman. 265 00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:45,797 Congressmen, senators, they work with other politicians. 266 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,842 You're an alderman. You work with the people. 267 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:52,303 And that's what we want, a man of the people. 268 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,055 This is a big joke, right? 269 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,224 They've got a hidden camera somewhere. 270 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:59,644 You all will get a big laugh out of this. You know what? I don't care. 271 00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:03,231 One of you all will drive me home because my bike is messed up. 272 00:17:03,815 --> 00:17:05,358 You an American? 273 00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,321 - Are you an American? - Yes. 274 00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:14,617 This isn't just an election. It's a moment. 275 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:18,204 This is the moment when you have the opportunity to show boys and girls... 276 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,665 men and women, what America is about. 277 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,168 Look at that. 278 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:27,380 When I see that, I think of our forefathers fighting... 279 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,340 to make this country what it is. 280 00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:31,843 When I see it I think about the guy... 281 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,679 who has to scrub Lincoln's balls for minimum wage. 282 00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:38,892 That's why we want you. You care about the little people. 283 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,144 What will it be? 284 00:17:57,327 --> 00:17:59,037 It gives me great honor... 285 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:01,539 to accept the party's nomination... 286 00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,082 for President... 287 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,044 of the United States of America. 288 00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:07,879 No! 289 00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:17,347 Welcome to your campaign headquarters. 290 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:21,392 These folks will do everything they can to help you get elected. 291 00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,228 These are your people. 292 00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,231 Here. Let's take a look at this. 293 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:29,067 Mark, is that cued up? Roll it, please. 294 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:38,868 This is a great spot. 295 00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:44,249 If you love America, vote Mays Gilliam for President. 296 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,672 But I'm not in it. 297 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,966 You don't even see my face. 298 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,260 It's a template. We'll get you in there eventually. 299 00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,804 There's a couple of people I want you to meet. 300 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,890 This is your security director, Mr. Earl. 301 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,643 - You'll be in good hands. - Pleased to meet you, sir. 302 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:08,022 If you're in trouble, yell "Security!" and my people will handle the situation. 303 00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:11,526 This is your decoy, Mays Junior. He enters events before you. 304 00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:14,445 If anything'll happen to you, it'll happen to him first. 305 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,656 Tupac could have used a guy like you. 306 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:21,160 This is Nicollette White, she's your executive director of Internal Liaisons. 307 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,621 Call me Nikki. It will be a pleasure to serve you. 308 00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:26,875 I'm available to you around the clock, just let me know. 309 00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:31,379 - What does she do? - She sleeps with you. 310 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,215 We got tired of getting caught up in sex scandals... 311 00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,968 so we commissioned our own team of super whores. 312 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:38,678 You call yourself whores! 313 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,763 Move that fat ass! One, two, three! 314 00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:44,017 - These girls are good. - Good morning, Mays. 315 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:48,229 I took the liberty of choosing some options for this evening's fundraiser. 316 00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:49,564 You don't mind, do you? 317 00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:53,026 I'll wear whatever you need me to wear. What fundraiser is this? 318 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,070 Your coming out party. Campaigns cost money. 319 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,531 The people you meet tonight have plenty of it. 320 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,617 Geller and I will advance the party... 321 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:03,494 and Mr. Earl will bring you at 8:00 sharp. 322 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:07,165 Here are your off-the-cuff remarks. Learn them. See you later. 323 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,509 Remember, sir, just nod and move. Nod and move. 324 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,472 What do you plan to do about taxes? 325 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:25,058 Do you plan to support paternal leave incentives? 326 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,226 Get my demo to somebody. Anybody. 327 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:30,730 Don't take unscreened packages. Security reasons. 328 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,983 You have some people to talk to. Tomorrow, work. 329 00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,569 Tonight, smile, shake hands, and be nice to the wives. 330 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:40,073 I'll double-check the PA system. You'll make a brief statement at 11:00. 331 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,407 Let's go. 332 00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:53,127 Hi, how are you doing? All right. You all right. 333 00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,967 - I wish you luck, sir. - Arigatou. 334 00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:05,348 It's like Timberland, and I got a bit of Missy moving up there... 335 00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:08,017 but I'm trying to go through that Neptune feel... 336 00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:10,478 Excuse me, the Teamsters are here. 337 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:12,772 What are you doing talking to the help? 338 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,941 Gentlemen, Mr. Mays Gilliam. 339 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:18,736 Guys, I'm all for labor, I'm all for unions. 340 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,447 But you know and I know that you will endorse Lewis. 341 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,075 It's business. We'll do what's best for the union. 342 00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:26,995 - Have you decided on a running mate? - We're thinking about it. 343 00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:30,748 - You should consider Sanders. - We're considering several options. 344 00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:33,751 Excuse me. 345 00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,128 Well, that depends. 346 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,796 What's up with this guy? 347 00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:39,340 Track four. Check out track four. 348 00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:46,889 What do you have there? 349 00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:50,059 We got shrimp puffs and cheese snacks... 350 00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:53,312 - just some finger foods. - Thought that was you. 351 00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,982 So what's up with the two jobs? Bad credit? 352 00:21:56,149 --> 00:22:00,486 Why do I have to have bad credit? Can't I be saving up for a car or for school? 353 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,156 Maybe I like to work? Excuse me. 354 00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:06,701 I'm sorry. You know what? I never got your name. 355 00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:11,497 Hey, Lisa Clark. Mays. Why you being so rude, Lisa Clark? 356 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:13,624 I am not being rude, I am working. 357 00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:16,461 We can't mingle with the guests. Plus, I don't know you. 358 00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:19,172 - You know me. - No, I don't know you. 359 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,339 But you know me. 360 00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:23,259 You've come to the gas station a couple of times... 361 00:22:23,426 --> 00:22:26,012 and I see you, but I don't know you. 362 00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:27,722 Let's get to know each other. 363 00:22:27,889 --> 00:22:29,432 - Let's dance. - I have to work. 364 00:22:29,599 --> 00:22:33,603 I know you're working. I'm working, too. So let's keep working. Want to dance? 365 00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:35,730 Okay, you'll get me in trouble. 366 00:22:42,904 --> 00:22:45,823 I cannot believe you got me out here like this. 367 00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,701 - Yeah, but you like it, right? - A little. 368 00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,336 I'm feeling it. 369 00:23:10,139 --> 00:23:11,849 Go ahead, girl, work it! 370 00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:27,198 Oh, my God. I'm having too much fun. I got to get back to work. 371 00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:28,991 No, come on, stay! 372 00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:30,868 Come on! 373 00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:36,499 Come on, brother, I know you know how to do this dance. 374 00:23:36,666 --> 00:23:37,917 No, sorry, I don't. 375 00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:41,212 I know you know how to do the Electric Slide. 376 00:23:41,379 --> 00:23:44,048 No, I can't say that I do. 377 00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:46,717 Get your ass in there! 378 00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:54,350 - What the hell is this? - Where's Mays? 379 00:23:57,061 --> 00:23:58,187 Over there. 380 00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:01,315 - Oh, my God! - We've got to stop him. 381 00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:02,859 Excuse us, please. 382 00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:07,864 I am getting so hot I am gonna take my clothes off 383 00:24:08,030 --> 00:24:10,616 - What do you think you're doing? - Stop it. 384 00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:13,661 I'm just trying to get the party started. 385 00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:16,956 Throw your hands in the air 386 00:24:17,123 --> 00:24:19,125 And wave them like you just don't care 387 00:24:19,292 --> 00:24:21,419 And if I got your vote for President 388 00:24:21,586 --> 00:24:23,754 Let me hear you say, "Oh, yeah" 389 00:24:26,424 --> 00:24:28,426 Shake that ass, Grandma! 390 00:24:28,885 --> 00:24:31,137 Let me see you bounce! 391 00:24:31,721 --> 00:24:33,014 Bounce! 392 00:24:33,764 --> 00:24:36,350 We got a couple of freaks over there. 393 00:24:38,769 --> 00:24:40,730 Let me see you shake! 394 00:24:43,357 --> 00:24:44,734 Crip walk! 395 00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,538 The roof is on fire! 396 00:24:58,789 --> 00:25:00,208 No, it's a saying! 397 00:25:03,211 --> 00:25:05,129 It's just a saying. Come back! 398 00:25:07,882 --> 00:25:11,969 You turned the party out. I have never seen anything like that. 399 00:25:12,136 --> 00:25:14,305 Great party. Too bad about the fire. 400 00:25:16,057 --> 00:25:19,143 - So, where are you off to now? - I'm not even sure. 401 00:25:19,310 --> 00:25:22,647 We start campaigning tomorrow. We'll be all over the country. 402 00:25:23,648 --> 00:25:24,815 Need a ride home? 403 00:25:24,982 --> 00:25:28,194 I still have to clean up. I don't know how long that will take me. 404 00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:29,779 I could wait. 405 00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:33,366 Are you sure? I could send a car to pick you up. 406 00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:35,534 No, thanks, but I got to go. 407 00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:37,328 It was good seeing you again. 408 00:25:37,495 --> 00:25:40,122 You too, buddy, old pal. 409 00:25:41,666 --> 00:25:44,168 - Can I get a good-night kiss? - No. 410 00:25:45,628 --> 00:25:47,713 - I'm coming! - She's coming! 411 00:25:48,381 --> 00:25:52,677 I got to go. Good luck, and call me if you get a chance. 412 00:25:55,263 --> 00:25:57,014 Didn't you see me talking? 413 00:25:57,515 --> 00:25:59,392 What kind of display was that? 414 00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:01,185 I was getting the party started. 415 00:26:01,352 --> 00:26:04,438 If the party needs to get started, I'll handle it. 416 00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:06,732 Just do what we say. 417 00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:10,069 I don't think everybody appreciated what you did in there. 418 00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:11,821 We really had a great time. 419 00:26:11,988 --> 00:26:14,073 It was off the hizzle for shizzle. 420 00:26:14,949 --> 00:26:17,535 - They liked it. - I don't care what they liked. 421 00:26:17,743 --> 00:26:19,370 Mays, darling! 422 00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:27,837 Darling, are you done yet? No? If not, it's okay. I can wait. 423 00:26:28,004 --> 00:26:31,215 But if we hurry, we'll be able to get a table at Jezebel's. 424 00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,760 Good evening. We're getting married. 425 00:26:35,678 --> 00:26:36,929 I'm exhausted. 426 00:26:37,722 --> 00:26:39,015 Know what I can't decide? 427 00:26:39,181 --> 00:26:42,226 I can't decide whether we should have a DJ or a band. 428 00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:45,604 Security! 429 00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:04,165 Thank you for inviting me to the land of milk and honey. 430 00:27:04,332 --> 00:27:06,375 It's you people, the dairy people... 431 00:27:06,542 --> 00:27:09,295 people that make eggs, milk, cheese... 432 00:27:09,462 --> 00:27:12,506 butter, bacon, that make the country great. 433 00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:16,093 Milk makes the body good, and you make the country good. 434 00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:23,434 Thank you for inviting me to Memphis, Tennessee. 435 00:27:24,268 --> 00:27:27,229 It's people like you, the church people... 436 00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:31,484 who are the backbone and the spirit of this great land of ours. 437 00:27:33,027 --> 00:27:37,073 I love the Lord, and I love the King, Elvis Presley. 438 00:27:40,910 --> 00:27:45,206 I want to thank you for inviting me to the Lone Star State. 439 00:27:47,416 --> 00:27:48,876 Home of the cowboys! 440 00:27:50,127 --> 00:27:51,754 How about them Cowboys? 441 00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:55,299 It's people like you, the ranchers... 442 00:27:55,549 --> 00:27:57,802 who are the backbone of this country. 443 00:27:59,261 --> 00:28:02,932 Now, before I go, I got one more thing to say: 444 00:28:04,141 --> 00:28:07,520 The stars at night are big and bright 445 00:28:08,145 --> 00:28:10,648 Deep in the heart of Texas 446 00:28:14,485 --> 00:28:15,528 It's not bad. 447 00:28:15,694 --> 00:28:17,863 Will I get another speech anytime soon? 448 00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:19,698 What's the matter with this speech? 449 00:28:19,865 --> 00:28:23,244 I should be talking about something a little more relevant. 450 00:28:23,577 --> 00:28:24,620 Relevant? 451 00:28:24,787 --> 00:28:28,040 People would be cheering if I read the recipe for corn bread. 452 00:28:28,207 --> 00:28:30,584 It's not working. I'm only one point up in the polls. 453 00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:34,338 Don't worry about the polls. They're just a sampling. Polls change. 454 00:28:34,505 --> 00:28:35,923 Don't get ahead of yourself. 455 00:28:36,090 --> 00:28:38,884 We're here to help. The people really like you. 456 00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:42,346 Cheer up, we'll be in Chicago in a few days. You got a brother there. 457 00:28:42,513 --> 00:28:44,807 Then the people will find out what you're all about. 458 00:28:44,974 --> 00:28:47,643 Yeah, but I don't even know what I'm all about. 459 00:28:54,525 --> 00:28:58,529 In the latest polls, Mays Gilliam is up just one point, to 10 percent. 460 00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:02,199 Vice President Brian Lewis still holds a commanding 84 percent. 461 00:29:02,366 --> 00:29:04,243 Six percent are undecided, saying... 462 00:29:04,410 --> 00:29:08,122 they don't know who they're voting for, they just know it's not Gilliam. 463 00:29:08,372 --> 00:29:10,875 When you get out there, listen to the crowd. 464 00:29:11,041 --> 00:29:14,587 Talk to them, make it look like you believe in what you're saying. 465 00:29:15,296 --> 00:29:17,923 I know we haven't exactly always seen eye to eye... 466 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,134 but this is very important. 467 00:29:20,301 --> 00:29:22,970 - I can't stress that enough. - Alderman Gilliam? 468 00:29:23,637 --> 00:29:26,891 There's a Mitch Gilliam outside. He says he's your brother. 469 00:29:27,558 --> 00:29:28,726 Send him in. 470 00:29:30,186 --> 00:29:33,981 Tonight, America will get its first impressions of Mays Gilliam. 471 00:29:34,148 --> 00:29:36,817 You know what they say about first impressions. 472 00:29:39,445 --> 00:29:42,781 Look at my little brother! You said you'd call when you got here. 473 00:29:42,948 --> 00:29:45,784 I was trying to call you, but I've been doing press all day. 474 00:29:45,951 --> 00:29:48,120 My little brother, running for President. 475 00:29:48,287 --> 00:29:51,290 Let me introduce you to Martin Geller, Debra Lassiter. 476 00:29:51,457 --> 00:29:53,209 What's happening, baby? 477 00:29:53,375 --> 00:29:55,836 Thanks for what you're doing for my brother. Appreciate it. 478 00:29:56,003 --> 00:29:57,796 How about you, thriller? What's going... 479 00:29:57,963 --> 00:30:00,549 Nice to meet you. What do you do for a living? 480 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,970 I'm a bail bondsman. I got an office on the Southside. 481 00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:07,306 - Bail bondsman. - Yes, sir. 482 00:30:13,896 --> 00:30:15,105 How's business? 483 00:30:15,272 --> 00:30:17,566 I tell you how business is. Business is great. 484 00:30:17,733 --> 00:30:19,443 Thank God for crime. 485 00:30:21,612 --> 00:30:24,740 Thank God for crime. Could you give us a minute? 486 00:30:26,283 --> 00:30:27,368 Five. 487 00:30:29,787 --> 00:30:31,455 Nice. Real nice. 488 00:30:31,956 --> 00:30:35,251 Look at you, man! I see you all on the shows, politicking. 489 00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:37,753 You like the way your campaign is going? 490 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,338 Look at this. 491 00:30:39,964 --> 00:30:43,634 Let me ask you something, brother. When they gonna let you speak? 492 00:30:43,801 --> 00:30:46,303 I've been talking all day. I was talking to the press. 493 00:30:46,470 --> 00:30:49,765 You been talking, but when they gonna let you speak your mind? 494 00:30:49,932 --> 00:30:52,685 This ain't you. You gonna say this shit? This shit is booty. 495 00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:56,647 Say this if you want to, watch that man come sweep your butt off stage. 496 00:30:56,814 --> 00:31:00,359 Look at this poster: "Mays." Who are they talking about? Willie? 497 00:31:00,734 --> 00:31:01,819 Let me tell you something. 498 00:31:01,986 --> 00:31:05,447 They're the everyday common folk, working people. Laborers. 499 00:31:05,656 --> 00:31:07,658 Construction workers, nurses. 500 00:31:07,825 --> 00:31:10,202 Play the game when you're working for them. 501 00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:13,122 This is your campaign. You're supposed to be in charge. 502 00:31:16,083 --> 00:31:17,418 It's time. 503 00:31:18,335 --> 00:31:19,503 I got to go. 504 00:31:23,257 --> 00:31:26,427 I love you, man, and I'm with you no matter what. 505 00:31:28,095 --> 00:31:30,681 - Go get them. - I'll see you out there. 506 00:31:33,017 --> 00:31:34,226 Speak. 507 00:31:38,230 --> 00:31:41,775 Chicago, please welcome your next president: 508 00:31:41,984 --> 00:31:44,361 Alderman Mays Gilliam. 509 00:32:04,173 --> 00:32:06,216 What the hell is he doing? 510 00:32:10,387 --> 00:32:12,681 They had a speech written for me... 511 00:32:14,183 --> 00:32:16,143 about what the people need. 512 00:32:16,393 --> 00:32:18,604 But you guys are the people. 513 00:32:19,021 --> 00:32:20,356 You know what you need. 514 00:32:21,398 --> 00:32:22,733 Better schools... 515 00:32:23,692 --> 00:32:25,194 better jobs... 516 00:32:25,653 --> 00:32:27,196 less crime. 517 00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:32,242 How many of you, right now... 518 00:32:32,618 --> 00:32:37,331 work two jobs just to have enough money to be broke? 519 00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,458 That ain't right. 520 00:32:40,292 --> 00:32:43,587 If you work two jobs, and at the end of the week... 521 00:32:43,754 --> 00:32:47,174 you got just enough money to get your broke ass home... 522 00:32:47,341 --> 00:32:49,635 let me hear you say, "That ain't right!" 523 00:32:49,802 --> 00:32:51,095 That ain't right! 524 00:32:53,055 --> 00:32:57,476 How many of you have children that they call stupid? 525 00:32:57,976 --> 00:33:00,396 Don't be ashamed! It ain't your fault. 526 00:33:00,562 --> 00:33:04,233 I asked my niece the other day, "What's four plus four?" She said, "44." 527 00:33:04,942 --> 00:33:08,112 But that ain't her fault! That's the school's fault. 528 00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:12,199 If your child's school has old-ass books... 529 00:33:12,366 --> 00:33:15,828 and brand-new metal detectors, let me hear you say, "That ain't right!" 530 00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:17,538 That ain't right! 531 00:33:17,705 --> 00:33:18,831 It ain't right. 532 00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:23,752 And now we got these corporations stealing all the money. 533 00:33:24,128 --> 00:33:26,797 They ain't stealing their money, they stealing our money! 534 00:33:26,964 --> 00:33:28,090 The pension. 535 00:33:28,257 --> 00:33:30,259 You work for 35 years. 536 00:33:30,426 --> 00:33:34,430 You thought you'd leave your kids a will, now you'll leave them a won't! 537 00:33:34,722 --> 00:33:38,142 You show up to get your pension, they give you a pen! 538 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:42,980 A damn pen! What in the hell am I supposed to do with a pen? 539 00:33:43,147 --> 00:33:46,942 I should stab you in the neck with this pen, Mr. Pension Taker. 540 00:33:47,109 --> 00:33:48,986 Get your hand out of my pocket! 541 00:33:49,236 --> 00:33:52,531 Taking everybody's pension, and nobody going to jail. 542 00:33:52,698 --> 00:33:54,992 That's some bullshit. Ain't it? 543 00:33:55,159 --> 00:33:58,871 Meanwhile, we steal a Big Mac with cheese... 544 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,039 next thing you know, we on Death Row! 545 00:34:01,206 --> 00:34:02,291 That ain't right! 546 00:34:06,503 --> 00:34:10,257 How many of you work in a city you can't afford to live in? 547 00:34:11,425 --> 00:34:12,551 That ain't right! 548 00:34:13,385 --> 00:34:17,139 How many of you work in a mall you can't afford to shop in? 549 00:34:17,306 --> 00:34:18,557 That ain't right! 550 00:34:18,724 --> 00:34:21,393 How many of you clean up a hotel... 551 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,146 you ain't never gonna be able to stay in? 552 00:34:24,354 --> 00:34:25,689 That ain't right! 553 00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:34,281 We got nurses that work in hospitals they can't even afford to get sick in. 554 00:34:35,908 --> 00:34:37,117 It ain't right! 555 00:34:40,621 --> 00:34:42,289 It isn't right! 556 00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:46,627 That shit is wrong! 557 00:34:48,754 --> 00:34:50,214 It's dead wrong! 558 00:34:54,551 --> 00:34:55,677 I'm Mays Gilliam... 559 00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:59,389 and I'm running for President of the United States of America. 560 00:35:08,899 --> 00:35:11,401 No questions. Sorry. 561 00:35:11,902 --> 00:35:13,403 Where's Mitch? 562 00:35:15,155 --> 00:35:19,117 Go to work. Handle your business. If you need me, call me. 563 00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:21,036 I'll call you. 564 00:35:21,328 --> 00:35:25,415 Are you insane? You can't just go out in front of 5,000 people and talk! 565 00:35:25,582 --> 00:35:29,044 And you said "shit." Presidential candidates do not say "shit." 566 00:35:29,211 --> 00:35:32,756 Show me a man that's never said shit, I'll show you someone full of shit! 567 00:35:32,923 --> 00:35:33,966 Debra, hold on. 568 00:35:34,550 --> 00:35:37,427 What you just did, that was great. 569 00:35:37,594 --> 00:35:40,472 Maybe you're right. We could tailor the speeches more to you. 570 00:35:40,639 --> 00:35:41,807 My speeches? 571 00:35:41,974 --> 00:35:43,475 Come on, did you hear them? 572 00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:47,187 If this is gonna work, it's got to fit me. It's got to be my campaign. 573 00:35:47,354 --> 00:35:48,689 This is not your campaign. 574 00:35:48,856 --> 00:35:52,109 You do what I tell you to, or you'll be back in D.C. on your bicycle. 575 00:35:52,276 --> 00:35:54,361 I'm the one running for President. 576 00:35:54,528 --> 00:35:57,656 If we're gonna run this campaign, it's got to go my way. 577 00:35:57,823 --> 00:35:59,783 We're gonna do it the way I want it done. 578 00:35:59,950 --> 00:36:02,494 Hold on. I don't know if that's such a good idea. 579 00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:05,330 If you don't know, you better ask somebody. 580 00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:22,973 After a slow start, Mays Gilliam has made some dramatic changes... 581 00:36:23,140 --> 00:36:24,892 in his presidential campaign. 582 00:36:34,484 --> 00:36:39,239 Hi. I'm Mays Gilliam, candidate for President of the United States. 583 00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,366 This is my new headquarters. 584 00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:45,662 The individuals you see before you will help me guide my campaign. 585 00:36:46,413 --> 00:36:48,582 These are my people. 586 00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:54,254 Mays Gilliam is turning the establishment on its ear... 587 00:36:54,421 --> 00:36:56,798 with his new controversial campaign ads. 588 00:37:00,969 --> 00:37:05,307 If you love America, vote Mays Gilliam for President. 589 00:37:06,099 --> 00:37:08,810 Paid for by Citizens for Mays Gilliam. 590 00:37:23,075 --> 00:37:25,577 The part of Mays Gilliam's security director... 591 00:37:25,744 --> 00:37:28,622 will now be played by Muhammad Muhammad Muhammad. 592 00:37:30,207 --> 00:37:34,461 Childcare is one of the most important issues facing this country today. 593 00:37:34,670 --> 00:37:37,547 The working mother has to take her child to a nanny. 594 00:37:37,798 --> 00:37:40,592 The nanny has to take her child to a babysitter. 595 00:37:40,759 --> 00:37:43,428 The babysitter has to take her child to daycare. 596 00:37:43,595 --> 00:37:47,849 On the count of three, I want everybody to take care of their own damn kids! 597 00:37:48,517 --> 00:37:52,062 Whose baby is this? It ain't mine! 598 00:37:52,688 --> 00:37:57,275 Gay people want what every American wants. A good house, a good job! 599 00:37:57,567 --> 00:38:00,529 I believe in gay rights because when I see gay people... 600 00:38:00,696 --> 00:38:04,574 all I'm seeing are people, normal people like every other American. 601 00:38:11,498 --> 00:38:15,252 Thank you for inviting me to the Player's Ball! 602 00:38:18,588 --> 00:38:20,757 America needs to change its ways. 603 00:38:21,216 --> 00:38:25,178 I promise if I'm your President, I will take care of everybody: 604 00:38:25,429 --> 00:38:29,850 Big business and small business, show business and ho business. 605 00:38:42,529 --> 00:38:43,572 Hello, Debra. 606 00:38:43,739 --> 00:38:44,781 Bill? 607 00:38:44,990 --> 00:38:48,201 I am in Detroit at a Player's Ball with pimps and whores. 608 00:38:48,368 --> 00:38:50,245 Excuse me, hoes! 609 00:38:51,288 --> 00:38:54,416 I can't do this. You got to get me out of here. I can't control him. 610 00:38:54,583 --> 00:38:56,001 He won't listen to me! 611 00:38:56,168 --> 00:38:59,629 No, Debra. I need you out there, and this is going great. 612 00:39:01,465 --> 00:39:03,133 This is what we wanted. 613 00:39:03,300 --> 00:39:05,469 I love this guy. "That ain't right." 614 00:39:05,635 --> 00:39:07,429 He really thinks he can make a difference. 615 00:39:07,596 --> 00:39:10,682 Stop worrying. This will work out fine. Bye. 616 00:39:13,101 --> 00:39:14,436 Don't I know you? 617 00:39:14,603 --> 00:39:15,687 No! 618 00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:29,826 He feels good Things are going his way 619 00:39:30,660 --> 00:39:34,372 He just might be The President someday 620 00:40:07,823 --> 00:40:11,451 Mays, darling, I've been thinking. I want a small wedding. 621 00:40:11,618 --> 00:40:14,204 I think I want 150, maybe 200 people. 622 00:40:14,371 --> 00:40:16,706 I've always said I wanted a wedding in a church... 623 00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:19,584 but lately I've been thinking about the Botanical Gardens. 624 00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:22,212 We could do it by the tulips. It'll be beautiful... 625 00:40:22,379 --> 00:40:23,713 Security! 626 00:40:38,395 --> 00:40:40,230 Who the hell is Mays Gilliam? 627 00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:42,399 He's running against you, sir. 628 00:40:42,566 --> 00:40:45,068 What happened to Gaines? 629 00:40:45,235 --> 00:40:46,653 He died in a plane crash. 630 00:40:47,404 --> 00:40:49,281 Get out of here! Gaines is dead? 631 00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:51,158 Don't you remember? It was on the news! 632 00:40:51,324 --> 00:40:52,409 Not my news. 633 00:40:53,743 --> 00:40:57,164 This fellow, Gilliam, is an alderman from D.C. 634 00:40:57,747 --> 00:40:59,416 He took Gaines' place, sir. 635 00:40:59,583 --> 00:41:01,042 I'm running against this guy. 636 00:41:01,209 --> 00:41:02,377 Yes, sir. 637 00:41:03,253 --> 00:41:04,963 That is some bullshit. 638 00:41:05,255 --> 00:41:06,715 This is my time. 639 00:41:06,882 --> 00:41:09,134 I've been Vice President for eight years. 640 00:41:09,301 --> 00:41:13,013 I am a war hero, and I am Sharon Stone's cousin! 641 00:41:13,555 --> 00:41:17,809 And I'll be damned if I'm going to let my election be ruined by this asshole! 642 00:41:18,935 --> 00:41:22,606 I want this guy done. You hear me? Finish him! 643 00:41:23,857 --> 00:41:26,151 He will be destroyed, sir, as you wish. 644 00:41:26,943 --> 00:41:30,363 This is the White House without Mays Gilliam. Peaceful, isn't it? 645 00:41:30,530 --> 00:41:33,700 Now, this is the White House if Gilliam is elected. 646 00:41:41,791 --> 00:41:44,211 Let's keep Mays Gilliam out of the White House. 647 00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:47,297 Vote Brian Lewis for President. It's your last chance. 648 00:41:48,924 --> 00:41:51,051 How do you want to handle this? 649 00:41:51,927 --> 00:41:53,845 I don't want to go negative. 650 00:41:55,096 --> 00:41:56,473 Nobody wants to hear that. 651 00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:59,434 I want people to vote for me, not against Lewis. 652 00:41:59,601 --> 00:42:01,311 People don't know what they want to hear. 653 00:42:01,478 --> 00:42:02,771 We have to respond. 654 00:42:02,938 --> 00:42:04,564 We should go with something measured... 655 00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:06,524 accurate. Let's call him on his record! 656 00:42:06,691 --> 00:42:09,527 You can't challenge his record when Mays doesn't have one. 657 00:42:09,694 --> 00:42:11,029 How about a massage? 658 00:42:12,906 --> 00:42:14,241 Ladies and gentlemen... 659 00:42:14,407 --> 00:42:18,370 please welcome presidential candidate Mays Gilliam. 660 00:42:29,756 --> 00:42:31,132 Thank you! 661 00:42:31,466 --> 00:42:34,719 This is Conservative Talk 520. You're listening to Big Dave. 662 00:42:34,886 --> 00:42:38,473 Negative ads. Lewis is up, Gilliam is down. I think it's great! 663 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:39,683 Bottom line: 664 00:42:39,849 --> 00:42:43,103 I don't think I want Gilliam and his homies to be in the White House. 665 00:42:45,105 --> 00:42:48,984 People are saying these ads are dirty politics. Give me a small break! 666 00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:53,655 We're not talking about running a rib shack but a country! 667 00:42:53,822 --> 00:42:56,658 He's running for President and every vote counts! 668 00:42:56,866 --> 00:42:59,661 Ladies and gentlemen, Mays Gilliam! 669 00:43:01,204 --> 00:43:04,833 And if these ads are so bad, why hasn't Gilliam said anything? 670 00:43:05,292 --> 00:43:06,710 Howard Stern rocks! 671 00:43:06,876 --> 00:43:08,420 You're on with Big Dave. 672 00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:12,257 The reason Gilliam hasn't responded is because he has too much integrity. 673 00:43:21,558 --> 00:43:25,186 We just got endorsements from Raekwon the Chef... 674 00:43:25,395 --> 00:43:27,105 and Ghostface Killah. 675 00:43:27,564 --> 00:43:29,482 - Is this good? - It's great. 676 00:43:31,443 --> 00:43:33,528 Where are we on this running mate thing? 677 00:43:33,903 --> 00:43:36,906 I've been making calls. Nobody wants to run with you. 678 00:43:37,073 --> 00:43:38,491 Who did you call? 679 00:43:39,075 --> 00:43:40,618 Everybody. 680 00:43:41,036 --> 00:43:42,704 Did you call Hammer? 681 00:43:43,538 --> 00:43:46,041 No, I did not call Hammer. 682 00:43:47,709 --> 00:43:49,669 Then you didn't call everybody. 683 00:43:50,045 --> 00:43:52,172 Mr. Gilliam, can I have your autograph? 684 00:43:52,339 --> 00:43:53,590 I'll be right back. 685 00:43:56,343 --> 00:43:58,511 - Should we call Hammer? - No. 686 00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:01,806 Say cheese! 687 00:44:02,057 --> 00:44:06,144 Mays Gilliam did not attend this year's annual rally against cancer. 688 00:44:07,312 --> 00:44:10,482 Is Mays Gilliam for cancer or against cancer? 689 00:44:11,399 --> 00:44:14,110 Mays Gilliam, he's for cancer. 690 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:18,490 Vote Brian Lewis for President. It's your last chance. 691 00:44:20,325 --> 00:44:22,035 Cancer lover! 692 00:44:23,370 --> 00:44:26,206 No, he does not get away with this crap! 693 00:44:26,373 --> 00:44:28,833 This is what we'll do. You ever watch Bugs Bunny? 694 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:33,797 Bugs would always shoot Elmer Fudd in the face, drop an anvil on his head. 695 00:44:33,963 --> 00:44:37,258 But what made Elmer really mad is when Bugs Bunny kissed him. 696 00:44:37,425 --> 00:44:39,135 We got to kiss this bitch. 697 00:44:39,511 --> 00:44:41,971 - How do you propose we do that? - Watch this. 698 00:44:42,138 --> 00:44:46,393 I'm a Klansman. I hate niggers, Jews, and fags, but I love Brian Lewis. 699 00:44:47,477 --> 00:44:49,938 Yo, what's up? I'm Osama Bin Laden. 700 00:44:50,146 --> 00:44:52,899 I hate America, but I love Brian Lewis. 701 00:44:53,149 --> 00:44:55,276 Paid for by Osama Bin Laden. 702 00:44:55,985 --> 00:44:58,154 Sharon Stone is a defector. 703 00:44:58,321 --> 00:45:01,699 That's what Lewis campaign insiders are saying about the Hollywood star... 704 00:45:01,866 --> 00:45:03,743 and cousin of Vice President Lewis... 705 00:45:03,910 --> 00:45:06,454 after Stone's endorsement of Mays Gilliam. 706 00:45:06,621 --> 00:45:07,831 I don't believe it! 707 00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:10,708 Yeah! 708 00:45:12,544 --> 00:45:13,962 I know! 709 00:45:14,629 --> 00:45:16,297 Did you hear... 710 00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:19,467 What are you doing here? 711 00:45:19,634 --> 00:45:22,345 Gilliam is over 30 points. 712 00:45:23,471 --> 00:45:26,850 That means even if he loses he's the frontrunner in 2008. 713 00:45:27,016 --> 00:45:29,978 In case you've forgotten, I intend to run for President in 2008... 714 00:45:30,145 --> 00:45:31,938 and I am not running against him. 715 00:45:32,313 --> 00:45:35,316 So this is over. Either you put a stop to it or I will. 716 00:45:35,483 --> 00:45:39,154 I came on board to run a campaign for a man we didn't expect to win... 717 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,322 not to sabotage him so he'd lose. 718 00:45:41,489 --> 00:45:44,909 You're in this as thick as I am. Of course he's supposed to lose! 719 00:45:45,076 --> 00:45:46,411 That's why we picked him. 720 00:45:46,578 --> 00:45:48,913 Are you with me or are you with him? 721 00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,166 I thought you wanted what was best for the party. 722 00:45:51,332 --> 00:45:52,917 I'm what's best for the party! 723 00:45:53,918 --> 00:45:55,253 What's the matter? 724 00:45:55,420 --> 00:45:58,590 Democracy doesn't work for you when you're not winning? 725 00:46:00,216 --> 00:46:01,634 I'm with him. 726 00:46:09,058 --> 00:46:10,393 I'm with him? 727 00:46:19,527 --> 00:46:22,322 - Who are these people again? - The Urban Business Board. 728 00:46:22,489 --> 00:46:25,450 - Your plans for Social Security? - Give it to old people. 729 00:46:25,617 --> 00:46:27,952 - Your plans on global warming? - Global ice tea. 730 00:46:28,119 --> 00:46:29,746 - You the man! - You the woman! 731 00:46:32,332 --> 00:46:35,210 I want to introduce you to Chester Norris Allen. 732 00:46:35,502 --> 00:46:39,672 He owns a bottling plant in D.C. and I spoke to him about our problem. 733 00:46:39,839 --> 00:46:41,257 We've got a nice check for you. 734 00:46:41,424 --> 00:46:44,010 We can't take it. You sell malt liquor to kids. 735 00:46:44,177 --> 00:46:45,386 I do no such thing. 736 00:46:45,553 --> 00:46:49,766 Come on, man. It's orange beer with a nipple top. Now, who's that for? 737 00:46:49,974 --> 00:46:51,643 It's Crib Malt Liquor, man! 738 00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:53,269 He's unbelievable! 739 00:46:53,937 --> 00:46:57,315 Damn it, we need that money! Why do you make everything so difficult? 740 00:46:57,482 --> 00:46:59,442 It's Crib Malt Liquor! 741 00:46:59,943 --> 00:47:02,820 "Crib Malt Liquor, just like Mama used to make"? 742 00:47:02,987 --> 00:47:04,489 Whose mama? Not my mama! 743 00:47:05,323 --> 00:47:09,160 The situation is getting tense with the threat of the bus line being shut down. 744 00:47:09,327 --> 00:47:12,163 Protestors took their concerns to transit officials... 745 00:47:12,330 --> 00:47:13,665 but talks broke down... 746 00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:16,209 when the newly-appointed alderman, Reginald Shannon... 747 00:47:16,376 --> 00:47:19,087 was punched in the face by an angry protestor. 748 00:47:21,673 --> 00:47:23,967 - Good evening, sir. - What's up, Nikki? 749 00:47:24,133 --> 00:47:27,845 I noticed you weren't at the party, so I thought... 750 00:47:28,471 --> 00:47:32,934 if there is anything you would like for me to do, I would be happy to. 751 00:47:34,143 --> 00:47:35,645 Could I ask you something? 752 00:47:37,021 --> 00:47:38,231 Yes. 753 00:47:39,524 --> 00:47:41,901 You seem like a nice girl. 754 00:47:43,570 --> 00:47:45,738 How did you get into this line of work? 755 00:47:51,578 --> 00:47:54,122 I went to the University of Nebraska... 756 00:47:54,289 --> 00:47:57,250 where I majored in Theater and Communications. 757 00:47:57,458 --> 00:48:00,837 I did some extra work, and a few things that went straight to video. 758 00:48:05,174 --> 00:48:06,175 Okay. 759 00:48:06,676 --> 00:48:08,261 Can I ask you a question? 760 00:48:08,428 --> 00:48:09,637 Yeah, sure. 761 00:48:09,804 --> 00:48:14,183 Since I've been here, you haven't really given me any assignments. 762 00:48:15,268 --> 00:48:17,687 I was wondering if you find me attractive. 763 00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:23,651 I think you're... 764 00:48:23,818 --> 00:48:26,696 I think you're very attractive. It's just that... 765 00:48:27,739 --> 00:48:32,368 I like to get to know people before I get involved. 766 00:48:34,078 --> 00:48:36,748 I don't mean to be out of line, sir... 767 00:48:38,541 --> 00:48:39,542 but are you? 768 00:48:42,879 --> 00:48:44,172 Am I what? 769 00:48:44,339 --> 00:48:46,466 Trying to get to know somebody. 770 00:48:51,846 --> 00:48:55,224 - It is late, I'm out of here. - You need to take a cab. 771 00:48:55,850 --> 00:48:57,894 I'll be fine. I'm just gonna walk. 772 00:49:04,317 --> 00:49:05,985 Take a cab! 773 00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:09,155 I'll be fine. I'll walk. 774 00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:18,247 Need a ride? 775 00:49:24,671 --> 00:49:26,172 Where are we going? 776 00:49:26,339 --> 00:49:28,675 I just thought I'd give you a little tour. 777 00:49:41,229 --> 00:49:44,649 If you look over there, it's the Lincoln Memorial. 778 00:49:45,942 --> 00:49:47,527 Lincoln freed the slaves... 779 00:49:47,694 --> 00:49:51,489 but before he did it, he said, "First you niggers got to build me a statue." 780 00:49:53,074 --> 00:49:55,952 Right there is the Jefferson Memorial. 781 00:49:56,119 --> 00:49:57,995 Jefferson had a black mistress. 782 00:49:58,162 --> 00:50:02,291 He said, "All men are created equal, but black women got the nicest ass!" 783 00:50:04,627 --> 00:50:06,379 That's the Treasury. 784 00:50:06,546 --> 00:50:10,299 If you look real hard in the window, you can see Oprah counting her money. 785 00:50:12,260 --> 00:50:15,304 $20 trillion one, $20 trillion two... 786 00:50:15,471 --> 00:50:16,556 Hi, Oprah! 787 00:50:22,770 --> 00:50:24,021 What's it like... 788 00:50:24,188 --> 00:50:28,192 traveling all over the country and meeting all those people? 789 00:50:29,277 --> 00:50:32,447 I like it. I like traveling, I like meeting the people. 790 00:50:32,613 --> 00:50:36,909 But sometimes, you don't know if people like you for you. 791 00:50:37,076 --> 00:50:39,537 - Know what I mean? - I like you for you. 792 00:50:41,664 --> 00:50:43,583 And I think you're okay. 793 00:50:43,916 --> 00:50:45,835 - Just okay? - I'm just playing. 794 00:50:48,921 --> 00:50:51,007 I forgot how nice D.C. was. 795 00:50:52,508 --> 00:50:55,303 I'm always working. I never get a chance to check it out. 796 00:50:55,470 --> 00:50:58,639 Maybe you need to take advantage of what's in front of you. 797 00:50:58,806 --> 00:51:03,060 You never know, you may look up someday, and it might not be there. 798 00:51:07,815 --> 00:51:08,900 Freeze! 799 00:51:09,233 --> 00:51:12,779 Put your hands up in the air and step away from Mr. Gilliam! 800 00:51:12,945 --> 00:51:14,113 It's okay! 801 00:51:14,322 --> 00:51:17,033 - What the hell are you doing? - What the hell are you doing? 802 00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:21,078 You can't go dashing off in the middle of the night with some girl. 803 00:51:21,245 --> 00:51:23,831 Something's happened. We got to pack and get out of here! 804 00:51:23,998 --> 00:51:26,459 Somebody make sure she gets home safely. 805 00:51:26,876 --> 00:51:29,003 We have a plane waiting for us. 806 00:51:34,926 --> 00:51:38,930 In Florida today, guns and explosives were found at a junior high school. 807 00:51:39,096 --> 00:51:42,975 No one was injured in the incident, but with just six weeks till Election Day... 808 00:51:43,226 --> 00:51:45,645 this could be a hot-button issue for both parties. 809 00:51:45,812 --> 00:51:48,898 Now, back to the Jay-Z song already in progress. 810 00:51:50,399 --> 00:51:53,653 Muhammad, get me a gun in case another kid tries to get crazy. 811 00:51:53,820 --> 00:51:57,406 This could work in our favor. Florida is a big Second Amendment state. 812 00:51:57,573 --> 00:52:00,243 This is serious. This is not the Player's Ball. 813 00:52:00,409 --> 00:52:04,205 You can cut into Lewis' numbers. Talk about the kids, not about the guns. 814 00:52:04,497 --> 00:52:06,749 If I get shot, everybody is fired. 815 00:52:07,250 --> 00:52:08,417 One question here. 816 00:52:08,584 --> 00:52:12,213 There's been an outcry that something needs to be done about school violence. 817 00:52:12,380 --> 00:52:14,173 What do you plan to do about this? 818 00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:16,425 I feel we need to talk to our kids... 819 00:52:28,604 --> 00:52:29,605 Excuse me. 820 00:52:32,608 --> 00:52:33,943 Hello, children. 821 00:52:34,485 --> 00:52:35,778 Good morning. 822 00:52:37,613 --> 00:52:41,200 Pay attention. This is going to be a class: Bullshit 101. 823 00:52:41,367 --> 00:52:45,288 Ladies and gentlemen, our American children are hurting today... 824 00:52:45,663 --> 00:52:47,915 and we need to reach out to them... 825 00:52:48,082 --> 00:52:50,793 and give them all a good old-fashioned American hug. 826 00:52:52,879 --> 00:52:56,424 America is the greatest country on the face of the earth... 827 00:52:56,966 --> 00:52:58,384 and I want to say: 828 00:52:58,885 --> 00:53:00,386 God bless America! 829 00:53:01,053 --> 00:53:02,638 And no place else. 830 00:53:02,805 --> 00:53:04,849 Thank you. Thank you, children. 831 00:53:05,016 --> 00:53:07,727 No more bombs now. And don't use guns. 832 00:53:08,519 --> 00:53:10,521 - That went well. - Very touching. 833 00:53:10,688 --> 00:53:12,448 - The kids liked me. - You were very genuine. 834 00:53:12,607 --> 00:53:14,108 They responded. 835 00:53:14,275 --> 00:53:17,403 I tried to hug a girl and a boy so I wouldn't seem sexist. 836 00:53:18,154 --> 00:53:19,864 Mr. Vice President! 837 00:53:20,489 --> 00:53:22,366 Welcome to the show, Alderman Gilliam. 838 00:53:22,533 --> 00:53:24,785 Surprised you're not somewhere with your girlfriend. 839 00:53:24,952 --> 00:53:26,037 How do you know about her? 840 00:53:26,203 --> 00:53:28,664 I'm the government. I know everything. 841 00:53:28,831 --> 00:53:30,333 We really should debate. 842 00:53:32,168 --> 00:53:34,045 Let's get something straight. 843 00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:36,923 I don't know you, and I don't like you. 844 00:53:37,798 --> 00:53:41,135 Party's over. I'm fixing to whip your ass. 845 00:53:41,886 --> 00:53:43,304 You got it? 846 00:53:47,516 --> 00:53:49,143 Sir, we really should debate. 847 00:53:50,811 --> 00:53:54,273 God bless America, and no place else. 848 00:53:58,694 --> 00:54:01,238 Sir, we just got this off the uplink. 849 00:54:01,405 --> 00:54:02,490 What is it? 850 00:54:02,657 --> 00:54:05,451 An off-the-record comment by Mays Gilliam. 851 00:54:05,618 --> 00:54:07,370 - Bad? - Yes, sir. 852 00:54:07,954 --> 00:54:09,163 Good work. 853 00:54:15,670 --> 00:54:17,755 It's on! Guys, come here! 854 00:54:17,922 --> 00:54:21,217 Lewis was on the scene comforting parents and students. 855 00:54:22,051 --> 00:54:24,512 The press is in Lewis' back pocket. 856 00:54:25,221 --> 00:54:29,016 In this CNB News exclusive, our cameras caught Gilliam... 857 00:54:29,225 --> 00:54:33,270 making what was arguably the most controversial statement of the day. 858 00:54:33,521 --> 00:54:36,482 They act like us. We're bombing countries all the time. 859 00:54:36,649 --> 00:54:38,693 If I was 12, I'd have a gun, too. 860 00:54:38,859 --> 00:54:40,027 Tell me you didn't say that. 861 00:54:40,194 --> 00:54:41,821 I didn't know the camera was on me. 862 00:54:41,988 --> 00:54:43,948 I was playing around with some sound guy. 863 00:54:44,115 --> 00:54:46,409 You didn't know the camera was on you? 864 00:54:47,702 --> 00:54:51,747 Of course it's on you. It's always on you! You're running for President! 865 00:54:51,914 --> 00:54:52,957 I told you... 866 00:54:53,124 --> 00:54:55,334 This is all your fault! 867 00:54:56,919 --> 00:55:00,131 Gilliam is under investigation by the FBI... 868 00:55:00,297 --> 00:55:02,133 for his involvement with this man... 869 00:55:02,341 --> 00:55:05,886 friend and associate and accused drug lord, Warren Pryor. 870 00:55:06,053 --> 00:55:08,681 - Lord, we're going to jail. - We're not going to jail. 871 00:55:08,848 --> 00:55:09,890 Is it true? 872 00:55:11,434 --> 00:55:12,518 What's up, Warren? 873 00:55:12,685 --> 00:55:15,688 I know him, but I don't drug-lord know him. 874 00:55:15,855 --> 00:55:19,900 It's just a guy I say "What's up?" to. But I don't know him know him. 875 00:55:20,067 --> 00:55:23,279 Do you have drugs on you? Get them off, I'm not going to jail for you. 876 00:55:23,446 --> 00:55:24,697 Are you on the pipe? 877 00:55:25,281 --> 00:55:27,283 This is messed up This really sucks 878 00:55:27,450 --> 00:55:29,702 Every time you're doing good trouble just pops up 879 00:55:29,869 --> 00:55:32,121 He doesn't know what he's gonna do 880 00:55:34,707 --> 00:55:37,084 This is messed up This really sucks 881 00:55:37,251 --> 00:55:39,170 Keep your head up, it's your best bet 882 00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:41,380 Let's hope the election's not through 883 00:55:41,547 --> 00:55:45,801 If you see Mays Gilliam, please do not call the authorities. 884 00:55:46,135 --> 00:55:49,847 Just do whatever you can to make his life a living hell. 885 00:55:50,598 --> 00:55:51,640 No more questions! 886 00:55:51,807 --> 00:55:55,144 If I see Mays Gilliam, I'll bust a cap in his ass. 887 00:55:55,311 --> 00:55:59,857 Gilliam is done and Big Dave says, "Waa-waa!" 888 00:56:00,733 --> 00:56:01,942 Oh, God. 889 00:56:02,818 --> 00:56:04,487 What am I going to do? 890 00:56:05,404 --> 00:56:08,949 What are you worried about? Your face isn't on the side of a bus. 891 00:56:09,116 --> 00:56:11,202 I'll be the one taking a hit for this. 892 00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:15,915 Get me on the news so I can apologize. That's what the people want to hear. 893 00:56:16,165 --> 00:56:17,416 You're probably right. 894 00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:20,086 Make a statement of some kind, try and sound sincere... 895 00:56:20,252 --> 00:56:21,921 Just give me a break! 896 00:56:22,797 --> 00:56:26,008 You think you can say you're sorry and all of this will go away? 897 00:56:27,093 --> 00:56:31,347 Mays, you're running for President of the United States of America. 898 00:56:33,099 --> 00:56:36,685 Do you have any idea why they chose you? 899 00:56:40,106 --> 00:56:42,483 - We picked you because... - Shut up! 900 00:56:47,363 --> 00:56:49,740 You're here to lose. 901 00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:53,702 Arnot picked you so you could lose. 902 00:56:54,495 --> 00:56:56,372 Think about it. 903 00:56:56,622 --> 00:56:59,750 If they had any idea they could win this thing... 904 00:56:59,917 --> 00:57:03,629 do you think they would have chosen an ignorant-ass nigger like you? 905 00:57:08,843 --> 00:57:10,136 Wait up. 906 00:57:10,553 --> 00:57:13,597 You're not calling me an ignorant nigger... 907 00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:16,308 and thinking you're staying on my bus. 908 00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:20,855 I am not getting off this bus. We're in the middle of nowhere... 909 00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:23,566 Now you need a ride from an ignorant nigger. 910 00:57:23,732 --> 00:57:25,526 I am not getting off this bus! 911 00:57:25,860 --> 00:57:26,902 Apologize. 912 00:57:27,403 --> 00:57:28,821 Security! 913 00:57:30,197 --> 00:57:31,740 Damn you, Mays Gilliam! 914 00:57:33,576 --> 00:57:35,744 You knew about this all along? 915 00:57:58,976 --> 00:58:01,562 Is there trouble inside the Gilliam campaign? 916 00:58:01,729 --> 00:58:05,316 That's what Washington insiders want to know after Gilliam's chief advisor... 917 00:58:05,482 --> 00:58:08,277 Debra Lassiter, left the campaign trail. 918 00:58:08,444 --> 00:58:10,821 Down in the polls, Gilliam still has no running mate. 919 00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:13,490 Sources say the Teamsters may endorse Lewis. 920 00:58:13,657 --> 00:58:16,160 Did Gilliam kill JonBenet Ramsay? Police want to know. 921 00:58:16,327 --> 00:58:19,121 The big question: Where is Mays Gilliam? 922 00:58:20,289 --> 00:58:23,292 I'll tell you where he's at. He's with his peeps! 923 00:58:28,756 --> 00:58:30,507 - Hello? - You up? 924 00:58:30,966 --> 00:58:33,761 I was hoping you'd call. Are you okay? 925 00:58:33,928 --> 00:58:36,472 I don't know. I guess I'm all right. 926 00:58:37,056 --> 00:58:39,266 Come on, talk to Mama. 927 00:58:39,683 --> 00:58:42,269 I don't know. It seems like they're trying to get me. 928 00:58:42,436 --> 00:58:45,356 Everywhere I turn, they're trying to put a foot in my ass. 929 00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:48,776 After what you said, you need a foot put up in your ass. 930 00:58:48,943 --> 00:58:52,112 What did you expect? They would just make you President? 931 00:58:52,738 --> 00:58:55,074 They take a poll for everything I do. 932 00:58:55,616 --> 00:59:00,329 You ever been to a horserace? My dad used to take me when I was little. 933 00:59:01,163 --> 00:59:03,582 The horses wear blinders. 934 00:59:04,291 --> 00:59:07,878 They don't even see each other. They just run their race. 935 00:59:08,420 --> 00:59:11,799 So don't worry about Lewis, don't worry about the press... 936 00:59:11,966 --> 00:59:13,968 just run your race. 937 00:59:14,176 --> 00:59:15,761 Let me ask you something. 938 00:59:15,928 --> 00:59:16,929 Okay. 939 00:59:17,513 --> 00:59:19,014 What are you wearing? 940 00:59:19,473 --> 00:59:21,433 Now, you know you need to stop. 941 00:59:29,233 --> 00:59:31,527 Man, news travels fast. 942 00:59:31,860 --> 00:59:35,739 Not 10 minutes after you fired me, I had two offers for jobs. 943 00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:36,907 Good offers. 944 00:59:37,074 --> 00:59:38,409 What are you doing here? 945 00:59:38,701 --> 00:59:42,204 I know you got no reason to trust me, but I'm asking you to. 946 00:59:42,538 --> 00:59:44,540 You've got five weeks left. 947 00:59:44,707 --> 00:59:47,626 I know Lassiter is out, but I think... 948 00:59:48,419 --> 00:59:50,838 I can help you do this. 949 00:59:51,005 --> 00:59:52,631 I want to help you. 950 00:59:54,842 --> 00:59:56,844 And I'm sorry, Mays. 951 00:59:57,386 --> 00:59:59,471 I don't know what else to say... 952 00:59:59,722 --> 01:00:02,891 but as bad as things look, I don't think you should quit. 953 01:00:03,851 --> 01:00:05,644 Who said I was quitting? 954 01:00:06,103 --> 01:00:07,730 I wish I could quit. 955 01:00:07,896 --> 01:00:09,565 I wish it was that easy. 956 01:00:10,733 --> 01:00:12,234 You're lucky. 957 01:00:12,735 --> 01:00:15,904 You are so lucky. You don't know how good you got it. 958 01:00:16,196 --> 01:00:18,032 You just represent yourself. 959 01:00:18,198 --> 01:00:19,283 Me? 960 01:00:20,242 --> 01:00:22,328 I represent my whole race. 961 01:00:23,078 --> 01:00:24,455 If I quit... 962 01:00:24,621 --> 01:00:27,791 there won't be another black candidate for 50 years. 963 01:00:29,918 --> 01:00:31,045 All right. 964 01:00:32,755 --> 01:00:36,592 We can get rid of the school thing with a statement that will blow things over. 965 01:00:36,759 --> 01:00:38,135 But we need a running mate. 966 01:00:38,302 --> 01:00:40,929 Who am I supposed to pick? Nobody wants to run with me. 967 01:00:41,096 --> 01:00:43,098 We need somebody we can trust. 968 01:00:45,642 --> 01:00:47,061 Who do you trust? 969 01:00:49,104 --> 01:00:51,148 In the midst of his own Cinderella story... 970 01:00:51,315 --> 01:00:54,151 presidential candidate Gilliam is shaking it up. 971 01:00:54,318 --> 01:00:56,945 He's chosen his brother, Mitch Gilliam... 972 01:00:57,112 --> 01:01:00,199 a bail bondsman from Chicago, as his running mate. 973 01:01:00,616 --> 01:01:03,827 Political analysts say this may be too little, too late. 974 01:01:03,994 --> 01:01:06,121 Hi, I'm with the Pork Commission... 975 01:01:06,288 --> 01:01:08,791 I'm from the Athlete's Foot... 976 01:01:10,084 --> 01:01:11,210 Brother! 977 01:01:11,377 --> 01:01:13,962 Can you get my demo tape to somebody... 978 01:01:23,389 --> 01:01:24,556 Are these your bags? 979 01:01:24,723 --> 01:01:27,309 Look at my shoes and at the bags. Shut up and follow me. 980 01:01:29,311 --> 01:01:30,813 Back up. 981 01:01:37,653 --> 01:01:40,989 What do you have to say about your brother's controversial comments? 982 01:01:41,156 --> 01:01:44,827 My gosh, lady, my brother said he was sorry. Let it go. 983 01:01:44,993 --> 01:01:47,162 See, that's why nobody like your ass. 984 01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:51,917 We got work to do. We way behind in the polls. 985 01:01:52,084 --> 01:01:54,002 - Am I getting paid for this? - Yeah. 986 01:01:55,170 --> 01:01:58,549 You're running for the vice presidency. You're a bail bondsman. 987 01:01:58,715 --> 01:02:02,886 You have no Washington experience, no political experience or connections. 988 01:02:03,053 --> 01:02:06,974 How does being a bail bondsman qualify you to be Vice President? 989 01:02:07,724 --> 01:02:09,226 I am a bail bondsman. 990 01:02:09,393 --> 01:02:12,062 People come to me when they in trouble, like the USA. 991 01:02:12,229 --> 01:02:14,731 We bail people out. We bail out Mexico... 992 01:02:14,898 --> 01:02:17,693 the savings and loan, the airline industry. 993 01:02:17,860 --> 01:02:21,155 Now you ask me, sir, what qualify me to run for Vice President. 994 01:02:21,321 --> 01:02:23,740 When the country is in trouble, I'll bail them out. 995 01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:26,410 Hold that thought. We have a caller from Detroit. 996 01:02:26,577 --> 01:02:30,873 Mitch! Why you looking around? It's Reggie... Where my money at? 997 01:02:31,039 --> 01:02:33,750 Don't call me with that bullshit! You see I'm on TV. 998 01:02:33,917 --> 01:02:35,419 What about NATO? 999 01:02:35,586 --> 01:02:39,047 I never met Nato. I don't talk about people behind their back. 1000 01:02:39,214 --> 01:02:41,717 NATO is the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. 1001 01:02:42,134 --> 01:02:45,053 I thought you were talking about this guy named Nato. 1002 01:02:45,220 --> 01:02:47,139 But you have to know these things. 1003 01:02:47,306 --> 01:02:49,391 Do you know Nato Jacobs? 1004 01:02:49,558 --> 01:02:52,603 Do you know Nato Jacobs? 1005 01:02:52,811 --> 01:02:54,480 I'm sorry, I haven't met the gentleman. 1006 01:02:54,646 --> 01:02:56,023 That's what I said. 1007 01:02:56,190 --> 01:02:59,359 You know nothing about Nato? I know nothing about NATO. 1008 01:02:59,568 --> 01:03:02,905 Why are you out here since inmates don't have the right to vote? 1009 01:03:03,071 --> 01:03:05,824 It's not about the vote. We're looking out for the convicts. 1010 01:03:05,991 --> 01:03:08,952 We want to make sure when they get out that they stay out. 1011 01:03:09,119 --> 01:03:12,748 The better the education, they become more productive citizens. 1012 01:03:12,915 --> 01:03:14,416 Mitch! What's up? 1013 01:03:14,583 --> 01:03:15,626 Shorty G! 1014 01:03:15,792 --> 01:03:17,419 It's good to see you, boy! 1015 01:03:17,586 --> 01:03:21,340 This is Shorty G. I arrested his ass. I thought you got the chair, boy. 1016 01:03:21,507 --> 01:03:24,885 Mr. Gilliam, how would you deal with white-collar crime? 1017 01:03:25,177 --> 01:03:27,721 There's no such thing as white-collar crime. 1018 01:03:27,888 --> 01:03:30,057 And there's no such thing as black-on-black crime. 1019 01:03:30,224 --> 01:03:31,350 Crime is crime. 1020 01:03:31,517 --> 01:03:35,103 I don't care if you have a white collar or a tank top. 1021 01:03:35,354 --> 01:03:38,023 If you rob me, I'll whup your ass. 1022 01:03:39,608 --> 01:03:43,654 I'm Janet Silvers reporting live in D.C., where transit operators... 1023 01:03:43,820 --> 01:03:46,740 - I wish we'd get into the White House. - To have a cookout? 1024 01:03:46,907 --> 01:03:48,951 They were just talking about your ward. 1025 01:03:49,117 --> 01:03:50,327 What's going on down there? 1026 01:03:50,494 --> 01:03:54,289 They want to cut bus service until they finish construction. I should go. 1027 01:03:54,456 --> 01:03:57,334 - So you can blow up the bus line? - One thing at a time. 1028 01:03:57,501 --> 01:04:01,213 The Teamsters haven't endorsed Lewis yet. Our numbers are going up. 1029 01:04:01,380 --> 01:04:04,633 If we want a real shot at this thing, we got to get Lewis to debate. 1030 01:04:04,800 --> 01:04:06,593 He knows that. That's why he won't. 1031 01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:08,804 He's avoiding me like he owes me child support. 1032 01:04:08,971 --> 01:04:12,015 He is scared. He's holding the ball, hoping the clock will run out. 1033 01:04:12,182 --> 01:04:15,018 That's a punk move. Ducking and hiding like a little bitch! 1034 01:04:15,185 --> 01:04:18,647 That may be, but he won't debate you because you call him a little bitch. 1035 01:04:21,483 --> 01:04:23,735 What this community needs... 1036 01:04:23,902 --> 01:04:26,780 Is for you to debate me right now! 1037 01:04:26,947 --> 01:04:28,282 Tell the people that! 1038 01:04:28,448 --> 01:04:30,826 I thought I told you that we won't stop. 1039 01:04:30,993 --> 01:04:32,369 Now, my agenda... 1040 01:04:32,536 --> 01:04:33,954 I'll tell you about our agenda. 1041 01:04:34,121 --> 01:04:35,706 It's to have a debate right now! 1042 01:04:35,872 --> 01:04:38,500 Get rid of this zero and talk to the hero. 1043 01:04:40,794 --> 01:04:42,963 You got time to jog, but not to debate? 1044 01:04:43,130 --> 01:04:44,548 You can run, but you can't hide. 1045 01:04:44,715 --> 01:04:46,341 I thought I told you we won't stop. 1046 01:04:47,009 --> 01:04:49,970 What you looking for, the news? The news is we want to debate! 1047 01:04:50,429 --> 01:04:53,015 - Why did you change the channel? - He's scared! 1048 01:04:54,016 --> 01:04:56,226 - A word from our sponsor. - We want to debate! 1049 01:04:56,393 --> 01:04:59,521 I thought I told you that we won't stop. 1050 01:05:02,524 --> 01:05:03,692 Yo, Lewis! 1051 01:05:03,859 --> 01:05:07,613 Your mother's ass is so big, when she sits down she's three feet taller. 1052 01:05:08,155 --> 01:05:11,241 Yo, Lewis! Your mother's got a really big ass! 1053 01:05:11,408 --> 01:05:13,910 Sir, it's time we prepare for a debate. 1054 01:05:14,077 --> 01:05:16,747 Give me one good reason I should debate that jerk. 1055 01:05:16,913 --> 01:05:19,541 - He talked about your mother! - So what? 1056 01:05:20,792 --> 01:05:24,212 Are you going to just let him talk about me like that? 1057 01:05:29,176 --> 01:05:33,055 After some inventive chiding on the part of Alderman Mays Gilliam... 1058 01:05:33,221 --> 01:05:36,892 Vice President Lewis has finally agreed to one debate... 1059 01:05:37,225 --> 01:05:39,561 the night before the election. 1060 01:05:40,937 --> 01:05:43,523 So, baby brother, this is it. You ready? 1061 01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:46,026 All right, I guess. 1062 01:05:46,193 --> 01:05:48,945 You guess? You don't know? You either ready or you ain't. 1063 01:05:49,738 --> 01:05:52,240 What's your problem? I'm ready, okay? 1064 01:05:52,574 --> 01:05:56,578 No, you ain't. Look at you. If you call this ready, this won't get it. 1065 01:05:56,745 --> 01:05:59,456 Dress for the job you want, not for the job you got. 1066 01:05:59,623 --> 01:06:01,291 You ain't talking about my clothes. 1067 01:06:01,458 --> 01:06:03,418 Come on now. This ain't about me. 1068 01:06:03,585 --> 01:06:07,381 If I got a good idea, it shouldn't matter what the hell I'm wearing! 1069 01:06:08,215 --> 01:06:10,050 You know you messed up, man. 1070 01:06:10,759 --> 01:06:12,427 I'm telling you right now. 1071 01:06:12,678 --> 01:06:14,680 You know, this ain't about me! 1072 01:06:17,599 --> 01:06:19,685 Lewis ain't no punk. He ain't no joke. 1073 01:06:19,851 --> 01:06:22,646 That man has been Vice President for eight years. 1074 01:06:23,063 --> 01:06:25,482 He's a war hero. He's Sharon Stone's cousin. 1075 01:06:25,649 --> 01:06:27,109 You better come correct. 1076 01:06:28,276 --> 01:06:30,612 Yeah? Well, I got us this far! 1077 01:06:32,114 --> 01:06:34,282 This is as far as you're going to get! 1078 01:06:34,783 --> 01:06:37,244 - It's like that? - That's the way it is. 1079 01:06:37,411 --> 01:06:39,579 Geller and them up there pumping your head up. 1080 01:06:39,746 --> 01:06:41,873 But Lewis will smack it back down! 1081 01:07:02,144 --> 01:07:03,645 Oh, my God. 1082 01:07:04,146 --> 01:07:05,814 Little brother, you all right? 1083 01:07:09,776 --> 01:07:11,403 That's what your ass get. 1084 01:07:11,570 --> 01:07:14,364 You need anything? Because it look like you need some help. 1085 01:07:14,531 --> 01:07:16,742 You gonna get yours! I'll tell Ma! 1086 01:07:16,908 --> 01:07:18,160 You better not tell! 1087 01:07:24,291 --> 01:07:25,333 Hello? 1088 01:07:27,210 --> 01:07:31,923 Don't intrude in my life anymore. I don't want to have anything to do with you... 1089 01:07:32,090 --> 01:07:33,633 not after the way you treated me. 1090 01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:37,095 I'm sorry I threw you off the bus. It was wrong. 1091 01:07:37,262 --> 01:07:39,514 I couldn't take what you were saying. 1092 01:07:39,681 --> 01:07:40,932 What do you want? 1093 01:07:41,725 --> 01:07:43,018 I want to win. 1094 01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:54,946 Welcome to New York City for the 2004 Presidential Debates. 1095 01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:56,656 Where is he? 1096 01:07:56,823 --> 01:07:58,909 He was right behind me. Should I look for him? 1097 01:07:59,075 --> 01:08:01,369 - They're getting nervous. - We've got to do something. 1098 01:08:01,536 --> 01:08:03,163 - I can do something. - No! 1099 01:08:03,705 --> 01:08:08,001 Ladies and gentlemen, Vice President Brian Lewis. 1100 01:08:19,387 --> 01:08:21,556 Wait. Here they come. 1101 01:08:23,934 --> 01:08:25,101 Sweet. 1102 01:08:26,102 --> 01:08:27,646 Hello, Martin. 1103 01:08:27,896 --> 01:08:30,440 Sorry I'm late. I had to change. 1104 01:08:30,607 --> 01:08:33,610 - Mr. Earl, nice to see you. - Nice to see you too, sir. 1105 01:08:33,777 --> 01:08:35,028 Let's move. 1106 01:08:37,072 --> 01:08:40,700 There are 250 million people out there deciding who to vote for. 1107 01:08:40,867 --> 01:08:43,870 They all know Lewis didn't want to debate you. Show them why. 1108 01:08:44,037 --> 01:08:46,873 - Stay focused. - Take your time. 1109 01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:49,918 If he get out of pocket, put your foot in his ass. 1110 01:08:50,085 --> 01:08:51,878 By the way, nice suit. 1111 01:08:53,463 --> 01:08:55,590 - "Fuh-buh"? - Fubu. 1112 01:08:55,757 --> 01:08:57,342 Even I knew that. 1113 01:08:58,844 --> 01:09:02,764 Ladies and gentlemen, Alderman Mays Gilliam. 1114 01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:17,654 Yo, when's Martin coming on, man? 1115 01:09:20,282 --> 01:09:22,367 My momma told me to whup your ass. 1116 01:09:27,622 --> 01:09:32,294 The first question is directed by coin flip to the Vice President. 1117 01:09:32,919 --> 01:09:34,629 Vice President Lewis... 1118 01:09:34,796 --> 01:09:37,424 what steps should be taken to limit our youth's access... 1119 01:09:37,591 --> 01:09:39,217 to violent materials? 1120 01:09:39,384 --> 01:09:42,596 Our American children's futures are at stake here. 1121 01:09:43,221 --> 01:09:47,350 We need to study this issue, and appropriate legislation... 1122 01:09:47,517 --> 01:09:50,645 that will return us to an America we can be proud of. 1123 01:09:51,479 --> 01:09:54,149 God bless America, and no place else. 1124 01:09:59,070 --> 01:10:02,198 Alderman Gilliam, same question, please. 1125 01:10:02,365 --> 01:10:05,160 How do we limit violent material? Turn it off. 1126 01:10:05,410 --> 01:10:08,204 And if the kids cut it back on, knock them out. 1127 01:10:08,371 --> 01:10:09,706 That's why I don't smoke. 1128 01:10:09,873 --> 01:10:12,208 When I was a kid, my daddy caught me smoking... 1129 01:10:12,375 --> 01:10:13,877 and he knocked me out! 1130 01:10:14,044 --> 01:10:17,380 And to this day, I don't smoke. Not because I'm scared of cancer. 1131 01:10:17,547 --> 01:10:20,967 I don't smoke because I think my dad is going to walk through that door... 1132 01:10:21,134 --> 01:10:23,136 and knock me the hell out! 1133 01:10:23,511 --> 01:10:25,639 Knock out your kids. It helps. 1134 01:10:34,689 --> 01:10:36,316 Vice President Lewis... 1135 01:10:36,483 --> 01:10:40,320 with over 10,000 gun deaths per year in the United States... 1136 01:10:40,862 --> 01:10:43,490 do you believe we need stricter gun control laws? 1137 01:10:43,657 --> 01:10:45,742 I don't think we need more gun control. 1138 01:10:45,909 --> 01:10:48,912 I say we enforce the laws that are already on the books. 1139 01:10:49,079 --> 01:10:51,831 The problem is, nobody reads the books. 1140 01:10:51,998 --> 01:10:54,918 We need to start putting laws on videos... 1141 01:10:55,085 --> 01:10:58,129 because everybody watches videos, MTV, BET. 1142 01:10:58,296 --> 01:11:00,840 We need to put some laws on the Nelly video. 1143 01:11:01,091 --> 01:11:05,929 If you had laws on a Destiny's Child video right now, you could stop crime. 1144 01:11:06,096 --> 01:11:09,557 - We already have gun licensing. - But that's only to carry the gun. 1145 01:11:09,724 --> 01:11:11,184 Let the people decide. 1146 01:11:11,351 --> 01:11:14,896 The people can't decide. The people are too busy getting shot in the ass. 1147 01:11:34,582 --> 01:11:35,792 That's my brother. 1148 01:11:35,959 --> 01:11:38,586 That's another reason he's not qualified. 1149 01:11:38,753 --> 01:11:42,382 Because I had the good sense to pick my big brother to be my running mate? 1150 01:11:42,549 --> 01:11:44,551 I didn't come here to argue with you. 1151 01:11:44,718 --> 01:11:48,263 Yes, you did. We're having a debate. A debate ain't nothing but an argument. 1152 01:11:48,430 --> 01:11:50,056 A debate isn't an argument. 1153 01:11:50,223 --> 01:11:52,392 - Yes, it is. - No, it isn't. 1154 01:11:53,101 --> 01:11:55,311 - Yes, it is. - No, it isn't. 1155 01:11:55,979 --> 01:11:58,106 I know you are, but what am I? 1156 01:12:05,238 --> 01:12:07,741 Can we just move on? This is ridiculous. 1157 01:12:07,907 --> 01:12:09,159 Our next question comes from... 1158 01:12:09,325 --> 01:12:10,410 I have a question. 1159 01:12:10,994 --> 01:12:14,581 Would you like our reception to be buffet style or formal seating? 1160 01:12:14,748 --> 01:12:16,666 If you put Robert next to Nelson... 1161 01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:19,836 he'll be very angry because he wanted to be your best man. 1162 01:12:20,003 --> 01:12:21,755 Security. 1163 01:12:21,921 --> 01:12:23,423 I love you so much... 1164 01:12:24,799 --> 01:12:27,510 The candidates have agreed upon a short closing speech. 1165 01:12:27,677 --> 01:12:30,680 Vice President Lewis won the coin toss. 1166 01:12:30,847 --> 01:12:32,474 He has elected to go first. 1167 01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:33,933 Thank you. 1168 01:12:34,893 --> 01:12:36,978 - No, it isn't. - Yes, it is! 1169 01:12:37,437 --> 01:12:40,982 Tonight you have seen two different men... 1170 01:12:41,149 --> 01:12:44,944 with two very different points of view, battle to win your vote. 1171 01:12:45,737 --> 01:12:48,156 And this is what America is all about. 1172 01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:50,992 As we've seen tonight... 1173 01:12:51,159 --> 01:12:55,663 Alderman Gilliam can be captivating and entertaining. 1174 01:12:56,498 --> 01:13:00,043 But America needs more than that from its Commander in Chief. 1175 01:13:00,418 --> 01:13:03,463 To lead America, it takes experience. 1176 01:13:03,755 --> 01:13:07,175 Now, I've been Vice President for the last eight years. 1177 01:13:07,801 --> 01:13:11,679 I'm a war hero, and I'm Sharon Stone's cousin. 1178 01:13:13,098 --> 01:13:17,018 And to me, America is like a fine performance car. 1179 01:13:17,769 --> 01:13:20,355 And now is not the time... 1180 01:13:20,855 --> 01:13:23,775 to turn this fine vehicle we call America... 1181 01:13:24,234 --> 01:13:26,694 over to the hands of an amateur. 1182 01:13:29,614 --> 01:13:33,326 I'm Brian Lewis, and I am your last chance. 1183 01:13:34,327 --> 01:13:37,413 God bless America, and no place else. 1184 01:13:42,460 --> 01:13:44,963 Yeah, it's over now. 1185 01:13:46,005 --> 01:13:47,882 Why do you have to be so negative? 1186 01:13:48,842 --> 01:13:50,051 Give me five. 1187 01:13:50,218 --> 01:13:51,386 Thank you. 1188 01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:55,056 Hold it! 1189 01:14:06,651 --> 01:14:09,946 You're right, Vice President Lewis. I am an amateur. 1190 01:14:10,488 --> 01:14:12,615 When it comes to creating so many enemies... 1191 01:14:12,782 --> 01:14:16,870 that we need billions of dollars to protect ourselves, I'm an amateur. 1192 01:14:17,036 --> 01:14:19,831 When it comes to paying farmers not to grow food... 1193 01:14:19,998 --> 01:14:23,376 while people in this country starve every day, I'm an amateur. 1194 01:14:23,543 --> 01:14:27,630 When it comes to creating a drug policy that makes crack and heroin... 1195 01:14:27,797 --> 01:14:31,176 cheaper than asthma and AIDS medicine, I'm an amateur. 1196 01:14:31,342 --> 01:14:33,636 But there's nothing wrong with being an amateur. 1197 01:14:33,803 --> 01:14:37,056 The people that started the Underground Railroad were amateurs. 1198 01:14:37,223 --> 01:14:39,601 Martin Luther King was an amateur. 1199 01:14:40,018 --> 01:14:42,562 Have you ever been to Amateur Night at the Apollo? 1200 01:14:42,729 --> 01:14:44,814 Some of the world's best talent was there: 1201 01:14:44,981 --> 01:14:49,402 James Brown, Luther Vandross, Rockwell, the Crown Heights Affair. 1202 01:14:49,569 --> 01:14:52,322 - Hall and Oates! - The Fat Boys, Rob Base. 1203 01:14:52,488 --> 01:14:54,824 But you wouldn't know nothing about that. Why? 1204 01:14:54,991 --> 01:14:57,702 Because when it comes to judging talent and potential... 1205 01:14:57,869 --> 01:15:00,121 you, my friend, are an amateur! 1206 01:15:05,710 --> 01:15:10,089 - I believe the Alderman is over his time. - You had eight years to talk. 1207 01:15:10,256 --> 01:15:13,468 Now it's my turn. I'm getting mine! 1208 01:15:15,678 --> 01:15:18,139 Ladies and gentlemen, hold your applause, please. 1209 01:15:18,306 --> 01:15:20,934 How can you help the poor if you never been poor? 1210 01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:24,479 How can you stop crime if you don't know no criminals? 1211 01:15:24,646 --> 01:15:29,108 How can you make drug policy if you never smoked a chronic? 1212 01:15:30,068 --> 01:15:32,779 How can you do that? Just a nickel bag! 1213 01:15:33,363 --> 01:15:35,073 I'm a real American. 1214 01:15:35,240 --> 01:15:39,285 I've been high, I've been robbed, I've been broke. 1215 01:15:39,452 --> 01:15:43,873 My credit is horrible! They won't even take my cash! 1216 01:15:44,415 --> 01:15:48,503 You're always talking about, "God bless America, and no place else." 1217 01:15:48,670 --> 01:15:51,339 But isn't it obvious that God has blessed America? 1218 01:15:51,506 --> 01:15:55,051 America is the richest, most powerful nation on earth. 1219 01:15:55,468 --> 01:15:59,722 If America was a woman, it would be a big-titty woman. 1220 01:15:59,889 --> 01:16:02,517 And everybody loves a big-titty woman! 1221 01:16:02,892 --> 01:16:04,477 So, in closing... 1222 01:16:04,644 --> 01:16:07,313 I'd like to say you are full of shit. 1223 01:16:08,815 --> 01:16:11,567 "God bless America, and no place else." 1224 01:16:11,734 --> 01:16:15,113 How about "God bless Haiti" or "God bless Africa"? 1225 01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:17,031 How about "God bless Jamaica"? 1226 01:16:17,198 --> 01:16:20,702 I'm not talking about Jamaica, the beach tribes you all love. 1227 01:16:20,868 --> 01:16:24,622 I'm talking about stabbing Jamaica. That's what I'm talking about. 1228 01:16:24,789 --> 01:16:29,669 So, tonight I want to say: "God bless America, and everybody else!" 1229 01:16:30,169 --> 01:16:32,297 The whole world! God bless you! 1230 01:16:32,463 --> 01:16:33,756 I'm Mays Gilliam... 1231 01:16:33,923 --> 01:16:36,926 and I'm running for President of the United States of America. 1232 01:16:37,093 --> 01:16:38,344 Ya heard? 1233 01:17:00,950 --> 01:17:02,910 Now we can watch Martin! 1234 01:17:16,174 --> 01:17:19,218 - Hello? - Good morning, Mr. President. 1235 01:17:20,845 --> 01:17:24,140 - What time is it? - I think it's a little after 7:00. 1236 01:17:24,474 --> 01:17:27,977 - Lisa, I need some help in here! - Will you wait a damn minute? 1237 01:17:28,311 --> 01:17:31,522 I was so proud of you. You were so good last night. 1238 01:17:33,775 --> 01:17:38,071 Tonight, no matter what, win or lose, I want to see you. 1239 01:17:38,237 --> 01:17:40,365 I don't know. I might have to work. 1240 01:17:40,531 --> 01:17:42,992 But if I don't see you tonight, I will see you soon. 1241 01:17:43,159 --> 01:17:47,246 Just run your race, get out there, and do what you got to do, okay? 1242 01:17:47,413 --> 01:17:50,166 - I'll talk to you later. Bye. - All right. 1243 01:17:50,708 --> 01:17:54,087 It's Election Day, Tuesday, November 8, 2004. 1244 01:17:54,253 --> 01:17:56,005 The stage is set for what will be... 1245 01:17:56,172 --> 01:17:58,966 one of the most dramatic campaign finales of all time. 1246 01:17:59,133 --> 01:18:02,678 The question everyone's asking is: "Who will America vote for?" 1247 01:18:03,346 --> 01:18:04,931 I voted for Mays Gilliam. 1248 01:18:05,098 --> 01:18:07,725 - I voted for big business. - I voted for Lewis. 1249 01:18:07,892 --> 01:18:10,478 Who the fuck you think I'm voting for? 1250 01:18:10,937 --> 01:18:12,688 There seems to be an agreement... 1251 01:18:12,855 --> 01:18:16,150 between Washington, D.C., officials and transit authority operators... 1252 01:18:16,317 --> 01:18:18,903 regarding the shutdown of the 9th Ward bus line. 1253 01:18:19,070 --> 01:18:21,656 I don't see how they could do this to us. 1254 01:18:21,823 --> 01:18:25,118 People got to make money and get to work. 1255 01:18:25,660 --> 01:18:30,540 - Show them how you do it. - The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire 1256 01:18:30,706 --> 01:18:33,835 You're not gonna believe this. We got the Teamsters! 1257 01:18:34,001 --> 01:18:35,378 That's great, little brother! 1258 01:18:35,545 --> 01:18:37,630 They'll announce it at a press conference. 1259 01:18:37,797 --> 01:18:40,341 You just have to go, shake hands, take photographs... 1260 01:18:40,508 --> 01:18:42,218 but it is yours. 1261 01:18:44,637 --> 01:18:45,721 What's the matter? 1262 01:18:45,888 --> 01:18:49,642 If they shut down this bus service, I will drive you to work myself. 1263 01:18:50,685 --> 01:18:53,271 - I can't do it. - But it's Election Day! 1264 01:18:53,438 --> 01:18:56,190 You have to get the endorsement. You said you want to win. 1265 01:18:56,357 --> 01:18:59,360 You can't snub the Teamsters. You want them to endorse Lewis? 1266 01:18:59,527 --> 01:19:02,196 I'm not worried about Lewis. I'm running my race. 1267 01:19:02,363 --> 01:19:04,782 Go ahead, baby brother. I got this. 1268 01:19:06,784 --> 01:19:09,537 - You're just gonna let him go? - He's a grown man. 1269 01:19:09,704 --> 01:19:13,499 They shut down the whole bus line. What can he do about that? 1270 01:19:22,341 --> 01:19:26,596 In the latest exit poll, Vice President Lewis has 51 percent of the vote. 1271 01:19:26,762 --> 01:19:28,347 Bring him back. He got to vote. 1272 01:19:28,514 --> 01:19:31,976 While Mays Gilliam is posting an impressive 47 percent. 1273 01:19:33,227 --> 01:19:35,271 You gotta get to the back of the bus. 1274 01:19:35,438 --> 01:19:37,190 I'm just playing. Come on. 1275 01:19:37,565 --> 01:19:41,402 Now, he and Vice President Lewis are in a statistical dead heat. 1276 01:19:41,569 --> 01:19:42,987 Come on, hoes! 1277 01:19:43,154 --> 01:19:47,325 While Lewis and Mitch Gilliam have been working the campaign trail... 1278 01:19:47,575 --> 01:19:50,661 Mays Gilliam has been out driving people to work. 1279 01:19:50,828 --> 01:19:52,955 The roof, the roof is on fire 1280 01:19:53,122 --> 01:19:56,042 Damn it! Why didn't somebody around here think of this? 1281 01:19:56,209 --> 01:19:58,628 Why am I not out there driving a damn bus? 1282 01:19:58,794 --> 01:20:02,006 Get me an SUV, a minivan, a bus, a scooter... 1283 01:20:02,173 --> 01:20:04,175 a motorcycle, or a rickshaw. 1284 01:20:04,342 --> 01:20:05,760 Get me some wheels, bitch! 1285 01:20:07,136 --> 01:20:08,930 Are you going uptown? 1286 01:20:10,223 --> 01:20:12,099 Come on. Wait a minute! 1287 01:20:13,392 --> 01:20:15,520 We could write our own vows! 1288 01:20:16,395 --> 01:20:19,273 I love you, Mays! 1289 01:20:20,733 --> 01:20:24,237 With the polls about 30 minutes from closing on the East Coast... 1290 01:20:24,403 --> 01:20:28,032 Mays Gilliam is actually ahead by several points. 1291 01:20:30,618 --> 01:20:33,204 There is no question that Lewis has Texas. 1292 01:20:34,997 --> 01:20:38,292 It seems clear Gilliam is going to take New York. 1293 01:20:42,588 --> 01:20:43,631 New York! 1294 01:20:43,798 --> 01:20:45,800 It's likely Lewis will take Michigan. 1295 01:20:47,635 --> 01:20:51,597 It looks like Gilliam might just pull an upset in Illinois. 1296 01:20:53,391 --> 01:20:54,850 Illinois! 1297 01:20:55,726 --> 01:20:56,769 Go, Mays! 1298 01:20:56,936 --> 01:20:59,522 This looks like it may come down to California. 1299 01:20:59,689 --> 01:21:02,191 This looks like it may come down to California. 1300 01:21:02,358 --> 01:21:04,819 This looks like it may come down to California. 1301 01:21:06,779 --> 01:21:10,199 I need to know. How real is this? Can we win without California? 1302 01:21:10,366 --> 01:21:13,828 We stand a chance if you call your connections to the energy companies... 1303 01:21:13,995 --> 01:21:16,497 No, you can't win without California. 1304 01:21:16,664 --> 01:21:18,040 What are you doing here? 1305 01:21:18,207 --> 01:21:21,502 Shut up. You want to win, you'll do what I tell you. 1306 01:21:21,919 --> 01:21:24,755 Gilliam has over 90 percent minority turnout. 1307 01:21:24,922 --> 01:21:29,093 Whites are the majority, but they're not voting. They don't like you. 1308 01:21:29,385 --> 01:21:31,429 - I like you, sir. - Shut up. 1309 01:21:31,971 --> 01:21:33,598 How can we turn this around? 1310 01:21:33,764 --> 01:21:37,059 There's about one and a half hours left at the West Coast polls. 1311 01:21:37,226 --> 01:21:40,896 If there's a leak saying Gilliam is going to win, you'll get a late rush. 1312 01:21:41,063 --> 01:21:43,858 You get California, you get the election. 1313 01:21:44,859 --> 01:21:49,488 It will make the 6:30 news if we do it now. We just have to put it out there. 1314 01:21:49,655 --> 01:21:51,657 - Can we do this? - We're the government. 1315 01:21:51,824 --> 01:21:52,867 We can do anything. 1316 01:21:53,826 --> 01:21:56,537 The race for President now turns to the West Coast. 1317 01:21:56,704 --> 01:21:59,582 People, Armageddon is upon us and Big Dave is scared. 1318 01:21:59,749 --> 01:22:04,086 If these voting trends sustain, it's likely that for the first time in history... 1319 01:22:04,253 --> 01:22:08,299 a black man will become President of the United States of America. 1320 01:22:44,502 --> 01:22:48,214 "I have a dream that one day... 1321 01:22:49,965 --> 01:22:52,343 "this nation will rise up... 1322 01:22:53,636 --> 01:22:56,597 "and live out the true meaning of its creed: 1323 01:22:57,473 --> 01:23:00,643 "'We hold these truths to be self-evident: 1324 01:23:00,893 --> 01:23:03,229 "'that all men are created equal.'" 1325 01:23:04,105 --> 01:23:05,147 Checkmate. 1326 01:23:05,314 --> 01:23:07,608 I, Richard Nixon, do solemnly swear... 1327 01:23:07,775 --> 01:23:09,944 I, Ronald Reagan, do solemnly swear... 1328 01:23:16,951 --> 01:23:18,786 The race for President is over. 1329 01:23:20,287 --> 01:23:21,789 The election is now over. 1330 01:23:21,956 --> 01:23:24,291 - The race for President... - is over. 1331 01:23:26,877 --> 01:23:28,921 The race for President is over. 1332 01:23:29,296 --> 01:23:33,342 For the first time in history, a black man, Mays Gilliam... 1333 01:23:34,093 --> 01:23:37,930 will be the next President of the United States of America. 1334 01:23:57,074 --> 01:23:58,743 Come here, brother. 1335 01:24:01,370 --> 01:24:03,497 - I love you, man! - I love you, too. 1336 01:24:12,506 --> 01:24:14,759 I appreciate it. Thanks a lot. 1337 01:24:17,470 --> 01:24:18,804 Thank you. 1338 01:24:21,390 --> 01:24:24,310 We won! Aren't you happy? 1339 01:24:24,727 --> 01:24:26,812 - Can I have a massage? - Yes! 1340 01:24:27,188 --> 01:24:29,064 I won! 1341 01:24:30,900 --> 01:24:34,236 There is no way in the world I could have ever done this without you. 1342 01:24:34,403 --> 01:24:35,529 You're damn right. 1343 01:24:35,696 --> 01:24:38,699 We won! We did it! Yes! 1344 01:24:40,576 --> 01:24:42,453 Look at my little brother! 1345 01:24:42,620 --> 01:24:46,248 - Boy, I'm proud of you! Mr. President! - Mr. Vice President. 1346 01:24:46,415 --> 01:24:50,795 You're the man! You ain't got to worry about no assassinations or nothing. 1347 01:24:50,961 --> 01:24:53,297 They sure don't want me to be the next President. 1348 01:24:53,464 --> 01:24:55,591 You can raise taxes, start a war... 1349 01:24:55,758 --> 01:24:57,384 Mays Gilliam began this race... 1350 01:24:57,551 --> 01:25:00,429 That's my man! 1351 01:25:02,389 --> 01:25:04,058 Excuse me, please. 1352 01:25:05,726 --> 01:25:08,145 - I've been looking for you. - I was looking for you. 1353 01:25:08,312 --> 01:25:10,731 - This is amazing! - It's amazing. 1354 01:25:10,898 --> 01:25:12,608 It's incredible. 1355 01:25:12,775 --> 01:25:14,777 - What you were up against. - The odds! 1356 01:25:14,944 --> 01:25:18,239 I can't wait to start working, and do I have a job for you! 1357 01:25:19,073 --> 01:25:20,241 I don't know what to say. 1358 01:25:20,407 --> 01:25:22,868 What department do you want me to work in? Finance? 1359 01:25:23,035 --> 01:25:25,996 No, that's not good enough for you. 1360 01:25:26,163 --> 01:25:28,457 - Foreign Affairs? - No, not Foreign Affairs. 1361 01:25:28,624 --> 01:25:31,794 I thought you could do something real good in Security! 1362 01:25:32,711 --> 01:25:33,963 You suck! 1363 01:25:39,009 --> 01:25:42,221 We'd like you to run for President. 1364 01:25:42,596 --> 01:25:45,933 Sometimes, you don't know if people like you for you. 1365 01:25:46,350 --> 01:25:48,102 I like you for you. 1366 01:25:48,394 --> 01:25:49,895 Thanks a lot. 1367 01:25:52,314 --> 01:25:54,650 Get your hand off my ass, boy! 1368 01:25:56,193 --> 01:25:57,319 Wait! 1369 01:26:00,948 --> 01:26:04,159 Oh, my God, you are everywhere. Look at you! 1370 01:26:06,745 --> 01:26:09,540 What's the first thing you're going to do, Mr. President? 1371 01:26:09,707 --> 01:26:12,877 The first thing I'll do is make you my First Lady. 1372 01:26:13,669 --> 01:26:16,338 - Don't you play with me like that. - I'm not playing. 1373 01:26:16,505 --> 01:26:17,590 You can't do that! 1374 01:26:17,756 --> 01:26:20,301 I'm the government. I can do anything. 1375 01:26:37,067 --> 01:26:38,152 Get ready for... 1376 01:26:38,319 --> 01:26:42,281 the 2005 Presidential Inaugural Ball. 1377 01:26:42,448 --> 01:26:47,077 Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States of America... 1378 01:26:47,244 --> 01:26:51,040 Mays Gilliam, and his future First Wifey... 1379 01:26:51,206 --> 01:26:52,708 Lisa Clark! 1380 01:27:04,887 --> 01:27:07,139 Look at him now, man Ain't this great 1381 01:27:07,306 --> 01:27:09,391 Biggest man in town He's the head of state 1382 01:27:09,558 --> 01:27:11,936 They come from all around just for one handshake 1383 01:27:12,102 --> 01:27:15,272 Look at him now He's the head of state 1384 01:27:21,445 --> 01:27:24,198 That's me, Mays Gilliam... 1385 01:27:24,365 --> 01:27:27,201 President of the United States of America. 1386 01:27:27,618 --> 01:27:29,161 North America. 1387 01:27:36,168 --> 01:27:37,836 - Who did you vote for? - For what? 1388 01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:39,421 - For President. - Of what? 1389 01:27:39,588 --> 01:27:41,882 - Of the United States. - Of what? 1390 01:27:42,049 --> 01:27:43,676 - Of America. - What America? 1391 01:27:43,842 --> 01:27:44,885 North America. 1392 01:27:45,052 --> 01:27:48,055 Slick, I don't vote. You gonna buy some of this meat, or what? 1393 01:27:48,222 --> 01:27:52,685 You can't trust nobody. Everybody's trying to rob you. Nobody! 1394 01:27:52,851 --> 01:27:55,229 That guy right there! Don't trust him! 1395 01:27:55,396 --> 01:27:57,106 Can't trust no-damn-body! 1396 01:27:57,272 --> 01:27:59,817 America is taking advantage of you! 1397 01:27:59,984 --> 01:28:04,613 You can go to war when you're 18, but you can't have a drink till you're 21! 1398 01:28:04,822 --> 01:28:07,992 - That ain't right! - Right! So, let me get this straight. 1399 01:28:08,158 --> 01:28:10,369 You're 18 years old. You go to war. 1400 01:28:10,536 --> 01:28:12,871 You come back. Your leg is chopped off! 1401 01:28:13,038 --> 01:28:14,623 You got a damn nub! 1402 01:28:14,790 --> 01:28:17,209 Everywhere you go they say, "What's up, nubby?" 1403 01:28:17,376 --> 01:28:20,754 You get to the bar and say, "Bartender, can I have a drink?" 1404 01:28:20,921 --> 01:28:24,508 He looks you up and down and says, "I got to see some ID." 1405 01:28:24,675 --> 01:28:29,346 ID? You mean to tell me a one-legged teenager can't have a drink? 1406 01:28:29,513 --> 01:28:33,058 - That ain't right! - Where is the nub? 1407 01:28:33,225 --> 01:28:37,438 Prescription drugs, I'll lower the prices. Let me explain something else to you. 1408 01:28:37,604 --> 01:28:39,106 You can survive a stroke... 1409 01:28:39,273 --> 01:28:42,609 but the high prices of medicine will give you a heart attack. 1410 01:28:42,776 --> 01:28:46,405 America is the richest, most powerful nation on earth. 1411 01:28:46,572 --> 01:28:50,534 If America was a car, it would be a Bentley... 1412 01:28:50,701 --> 01:28:55,080 sitting on chrome doves, with TVs in the headrests... 1413 01:28:55,247 --> 01:28:58,667 and a fine, naked Puerto Rican girl feeding you grapes! 1414 01:28:58,959 --> 01:29:02,463 Ain't nothing better than that! Ain't nothing ever been better than that! 1415 01:29:02,629 --> 01:29:06,675 Most opponents are saying your brother destroyed any chance of winning by... 1416 01:29:06,842 --> 01:29:09,678 - naming you as his running mate. Why? - Why'd your brother... 1417 01:29:09,845 --> 01:29:11,680 - make you anchorman? - I don't have... 1418 01:29:11,847 --> 01:29:15,017 You said it was your brother. I did my homework as well, okay? 1419 01:29:15,184 --> 01:29:17,186 You got your job same way I got mine. 1420 01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:21,023 - I'm not running for public office. - I'm not running for anchorman.