>> Lou: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S
"JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"!
TONIGHT ‐‐
LADY GAGA, AND JAKE TAPPER.
AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HI, EVERYONE.
THANK YOU.
HI.
HOW YOU DOING?
THANKS.
VERY KIND.
I APPRECIATE IT.
I'M JIMMY.
I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW.
THANKS FOR WATCHING.
THANKS FOR JOINING US.
LOOK, EVERYBODY IS HAPPY.
IT WAS A BIG WEEKEND HERE IN LOS
ANGELES.
A LOT OF VERY EXCITING STUFF
GOING ON.
FIRST OF ALL, MERCURY IS IN
RETROGRADE.
WHICH MEANS ‐‐ NOTHING.
AND THE RAMS, THE LOS ANGELES
RAMS WON A THRILLER.
[ CHEERING ]
.
>> Jimmy: TO EARN A SPOT IN THE
NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.
DID YOU WATCH THE GAMES THIS
WEEKEND, GUILLERMO?
>> Guillermo: YES, OF COURSE.
CRAZY GAMES.
>> Jimmy: NOW YOU'RE ROOTING FOR
THE RAMS.
YOU WERE A COWBOYS FAN LAST
WEEK.
VERY LOYAL.
EVERY NFL PLAY‐OFF GAME CAME
DOWN TO THE FINAL PLAY THIS
WEEK, AND THE RAMS SOMEHOW
TURNED IT AROUND ON TOM BRADY.
IT WAS CLASSIC TOM BRADY.
27‐3.
HE BROUGHT THEM BACK TO TIE THE
GAME, BUT 40 SECONDS LEFT, THE
RAMS MARCH DOWN THE FIELD AND
KICK THE LAST‐SECOND FIELD GOAL
TO WIN THE GAME IN REGULATION.
IT WAS CRAZY TO SEE TOM BRADY.
IT WAS LIKE TO COYOTE FINALLY
CAUGHT THE ROADRUNNER AND ATE
HIM RIGHT THERE ON TV.
THE RAMS WILL HOST THE 49ers.
THE 49ers CAME BACK TO BEAT
AARON RODGERS AND GREEN BAY WITH
ANOTHER LAST‐SECOND GOAL.
AARON MAY RECALL WAS CAUGHT IN A
SERIES OF LIES ABOUT HIS
VACCINATION STATUS EARLIER IN
THE SEASON.
BEFORE THE GAME, HE LASHED OUT
AT PRESIDENT BIDEN, SAID WE HAVE
A FAKE WHITE HOUSE, A BUNCH OF
OTHER STUFF BEFITTING A MAN WHO
HAS BEEN HIT IN THE HEAD A LOT
OF TIMES.
AARON RODGERS WASN'T THE ONLY
SPEAKING OUT THIS WEEKEND.
THE HUDDLED MASKLESS DESCENDED
ON WASHINGTON.
THOUSANDS OF FAR RIGHT WINGNUTS
JOINED THOUSANDS OF FAR
LEFT‐WINGNUTS FOR WHAT WAS
BILLED AS A DEFEAT THE MANDATES
RALLY.
YOU THINK AT THIS POINT THE
CHANCES OF DYING FROM COVID ARE
60 TIMES HIGHER IF YOU'RE NOT
FULLY VACCINATED MIGHT BE MAKING
AN IMPACT.
BUT THAT DIDN'T SEEM TO BE THE
CASE AT COVID‐CHELLA.
NO MASK, TOTALLY UNPRO TED.
AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT
KIND OF SPEAKERS THEY LINED UP
FOR THIS MEETING OF THE MINDS,
THE ANSWER IS THIS KIND.
>> HI, I'M STEVE.
I'M NOT A DOCTOR, BUT I RUN A
REALLY POPULAR SUBSTACK ON
COVID‐19 VACCINES.
>> Jimmy:
>> ALL RIGHT.
SAY NO MORE, STEVE.
THANK YOU.
NEXT TIME, AFTER "I'M NOT A
DOCTOR," STOP.
THE KEYNOTE SPEECH CAME FROM
ROBERT F. KENNEDY JR. WHO
SOMEHOW MANAGED TO CONNECT THE
DOTS FROM VACCINATION TO HITLER.
>> EVEN IN HITLER GERMANY, YOU
COULD CROSS THE ALPS TO THE
SWITZERLAND.
YOU COULD HIDE IN AN ATTIC LIKE
ANNE FRANK DID.
>> Jimmy: ROBERT NEVER ACTUALLY
FINISHED THE BOOK.
THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SO
DISAPPOINTING.
SOME OF THESE WHACK JOBS
EXPECTED ROBERT F. KENNEDY TO
COME BACK TO LIFE.
IT'S LIKE GOING SEE THE JACKSON
FIVE AND ONLY TITO SHOWS UP.
ROBERT KENNEDY IS A NOTORIOUS
LONG‐TIME ANTI‐VAXXER.
HE DID HAVE A CHRISTMAS PARTY AT
HIS HOUSE LAST MONTH, AND IN
ORDER TO COME IN YOU HAD TO SHOW
PROOF OF VACCINATION, BUT HE
BLAMED THAT ON HIS WIFE.
BECAUSE HE CARRIES THE KENNEDY
NAIL, RFK, PEOPLE BELIEVE WHAT
HE SAYS.
HE IS LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR A
LOT OF THE MISINFORMATION THAT'S
OUT THERE.
FOR A LOT OF THOSE IN EANES, HE
WAS THE MAIN EVENT.
YOU KNOW HOW YOU GO TO THE
FARMER'S MARKET AND THERE IS A
BAND OR A COMBO PLAYING.
AND THERE IS ALWAYS ONE WEIRD
LADY DANCING ALONE?
SHE WAS THERE.
♪
♪ ONLY LOVE
>> Jimmy: IT'S EITHER DANCING OR
A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.
I'M NOT SURE.
ON FRIDAY IN D. C., THE HOUSE
SELECT COMMITTEE LOOKING INTO
THE EXTENT OF TRUMP'S
INVOLVEMENT IN THE INSURRECTION
ON JANUARY 6 RECEIVED A LOAD OF
DOCUMENTS THAT THE FORMER
PRESIDENT SUED TO TRY TO PREVENT
THEM FROM SEEING.
ONE OF THOSE DOCUMENTS IS A
DRAFT OF A VERY DAMNING
EXECUTIVE ORDER THAT WOULD HAVE
DIRECTED THE NATIONAL GUARD TO
SEIZE VOTING MACHINES AFTER THE
ELCTION.
THESE MACHINES THAT WE USE AT
THE POLLS, HE WANTED THE
NATIONAL GUARD TO GO IN AND TAKE
THEM.
IT'S NOT CLEAR WHO WROTE THE
DOCUMENT.
TRUMP HIMSELF HAS BEEN RULED OUT
BECAUSE THERE WAS NO DIPPING
SAUCE ON ANY OF THE PAGES.
BUT THIS ORDER THAT THE MILITARY
WOULD SEIZE THE MACHINES AND
CREATE A SPECIAL COUNCIL TO LOOK
INTO TRUMP'S FALSE ALLEGATIONS
IN A WAY TO MAKE THEM TRUE
ALLEGATIONS.
IT WAS A LAST DITCH EFFORT TO
KEEP TRUMP IN POWER.
A SIEG HAIL MARY, IF YOU WILL.
FORTUNATELY, THE ORDER WAS NEVER
ISSUED.
TRUMP IS BIGLY UPSET RIGHT NOW
BECAUSE THE HOUSE WANTS TO CHAT
WITH HIS DAUGHTER, IVANKA, TO
HEAR WHAT SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE
INSURRECTION.
TRUMP DID AN INTERVIEW WITH "THE
WASHINGTON EXAMINER."
HE BLASTED THAT DECISION.
HE SAID THEY'RE USING THESE
THINGS TO TRY AND GET PEOPLE'S
MINDS OFF HOW INCOMPETENTLY OUR
COUNTRY IS BEING RUN, AND THEY
DON'T CARE.
THEY'LL GO AFTER CHILDREN.
HE KNOWS IVANKA IS 40, RIGHT?
I KNOW HE MISSED A LOFT
BIRTHDAYS, BUT HE'S GOT TO ‐‐
YOU CAN'T CALL THEM "CHILDREN"
AND ALSO PUT THEM IN CHARGE OF
PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST, IT'S
ONE OR THE OTHER.
THIS I THOUGHT WAS INTERESTING.
TRUMP'S FORMER LAWYER
MICHAEL COHEN SAID THAT TRUMP
TOLD HIM IF IT EVER CAME DOWN TO
IVANKA OR DON JR. GOING TO JAIL,
MAKE SURE IT WAS DON JR. BECAUSE
HE WOULD DO BETTER IN THERE.
IF YOU'RE RANKING HOW WELL YOUR
CHILDREN WOULD DO IN PRISON,
MAYBE IT'S TIME TO SELL THE
FAMILY BUSINESS.
I DON'T KNOW.
DON JR., THE SON WAS ON FACEBOOK
THIS WEEKEND IN ANOTHER SAD AND
MAYBE EVEN CLOUDED ATTEMPT TO
EARN JUST A LITTLE NUGGET OF
DADDY'S LOVE.
>> CAN'T PUT JOE BIDEN IN THE
SAME ROOM AS SOMEONE.
HE MIGHT LET ONE RIP.
GUYS, JOE BIDEN IS WHAT STANDS
BETWEEN US AND THE NUCLEAR
CAPABLE CHINA.
JOE BIDEN IS THE GUY THEY'RE
GOING TO CALL AT 3:00 IN THE
MORNING.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I THINK WE KNOW
WHO HE'S CALLING AT 3:00 IN THE
MORNING, AND IT AIN'T GRUBHUB BY
THE WAY.
WHY JUNIOR THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD
IDEA TO POST THIS, I DON'T KNOW.
BUT IT DIDN'T GET MUCH MORE
COHERENT FROM THERE.
>> WHEN IDIOT JOE BIDEN DOES IT
EVERY DAY, OH, IT'S JUST JOE,
IT'S JUST JOE.
IT'S ONLY THE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES, FOLKS.
IT'S NOT LIKE HE IS GOING TO
HAVE TO MAKE AN IMPORTANT
DECISIN MAYBE ONE DAY.
>> Jimmy: I THINK HE THINKS HE
HAS A SHOW.
YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, HE HAS A LOGO FOR THIS
DON JUNIOR.
IT'S LIKE AN '80s TV SHOW, LIKE
"AIRWOLF" OR SMOG.
MAYBE HE DOES HAVE A SHOW.
MAYBE DON JR. IS STAR OF A SHOW
WE JUST HAVEN'T SEEN YET.
♪
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
[ CHEERING ]
.
MAGA P. I.!
UNFORTUNATELY FOR DJTJ,
JOE BIDEN CAME BACK TO LIFE IN A
BIG WAY TODAY.
BIDEN WAS CAUGHT ON A HOT MIC
TALKING ABOUT PETER DOOCY OF FOX
NEWS.
DOOCY ASKED.
HE DOESN'T REALLY ASK QUESTIONS.
HE SAYS OBNOXIOUS THINGS.
HE ASKED BIDEN IF INFLATION IS A
POLITICAL LIABILITY AHEAD OF THE
MIDTERM ELECTIONS, WHICH OF
COURSE IT IS.
AND THEN WE GOT TO HEAR BIDEN
DROP A DOOCY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S TELLING 'EM YOU
OLD SNARKY MALARKEY.
>> WHAT A STUPID SON OF A BITCH.
>> Jimmy: WE'VE BEEN WONDERING
WHERE HE WAS.
I'M SURPRISED DOOCY DIDN'T ASK
BIDEN TO WEIGH IN ON THE
SEXINESS OF M&Ms.
THE BIG STORY, ESPECIALLY IF
YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING FOX NEWS IS
ABOUT M&Ms.
DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?
M&Ms ANNOUNCED SOME CHANGES TO
THEIR PACKAGING.
THEY'RE GOING FROM THIS ON THE
PACKAGE TO THIS IN THE HOPE OF
WHAT THEY SAID IS A MORE
INCLUSIVE WORLD WHERE EVERYONE
FEELS THEY BELONG.
AND OF COURSE, THE
TUCKER CARLSON CROWD LOST THEIR
MINDS ABOUT THIS.
PART OF A WOKE CONSPIRACY TO
MAKE THE M&Ms HE SAID DEEPLY
UNAPPEALING AND TOTALLY
ANDROGYNOUS.
AND IN SOME WAYS, I GET IT.
WHY DO M&Ms EVEN HAVE BODY
PARTS?
IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR THESE
CHARACTERS TO BE INCLUSIVE.
THEY'RE 70 YEARS OLD.
HOW MANY 70‐YEAR‐OLDS DO YOU
KNOW WHO ARE INCLUSIVE?
I DON'T KNOW ANY.
THE COMPANY THAT MAKES M&Ms SAYS
MOST OF THE CHANGES ARE
REFLECTED IN THE SHOES THAT THE
CHARACTERS WEAR WHICH THEY
SUGGESTED IS REPRESENTATIVE OF
THEIR CUSTOMERS AND A CUE PEOPLE
REALLY PICK UP ON.
THIS IS BY THE WAY WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU SELL THE SAME LITTLE
CHOCOLATE ADVIL FOR 70 YEARS.
YOU START TO HALLUCINATE.
YOU START TO THINK YOUR
CUSTOMERS WHO ARE FIVE, BY THE
WAY, PICK UP ON SHOE‐RELATED
CUES.
BUT IT'S HARDLY SOMETHING TO GET
MAD ABOUT.
BUT THAT'S WHAT THESE GUYS DO,
THEY GET MAD ABOUT STUFF ON
TELEVISION.
THE WORLD OF RIGHT WING OUTRAGE
IS VERY OUTRAGED ON THIS
SUBJECT.
AND SO JOINING US NOW, FROM THE
SHOW "TRIGGERED MUCH" IS
CONSERVATIVE YOUTUBER
NAMED KEN REYNOLDS.
KEN, THANKS FOR BEING WITH US.
I SEE YOU HAVE SOME STUFF THERE.
EXPLAIN TO US, PLEASE, WHY THESE
NEW M&Ms HAVE YOU SO UPSET.
>> I'M UPSET BECAUSE I SEE WHAT
IS HAPPENING TO OUR COUNTRY.
OKAY?
THIS IS JUST A NEW LOW FROM THE
VIRTUE SIGNALING LIBERAL LEFT.
THESE WOKE JOKERS ARE COMING FOR
THE LAST BASTION OF AMERICAN
INNOCENCE, OUR CANDY!
>> Jimmy: I DON'T THINK THEY ARE
ATTACKING CANDY.
>> YES, THEY ARE.
YOU SUSIE SNOWFLAKES HAVE YOUR
SIGHTS SET ON MY BEAUTIFUL
HARD‐SHELLED GODDESS, THE GREEN
M&M.
>> Jimmy: YOUR WHAT?
YOUR HARD‐SHELLED GODDESS?
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
HEY JERRY, CAN YOU PULL UP THAT
IMAGE I EMAILED YOU?
I THINK SEARCH GREEN M&M.
IT'S A JPEG.
SEARCH "DADDY'S BONERFUEL."
NO APOSTROPHE.
THEN IT MIGHT COME UP.
THERE IT IS.
THERE SHE IS.
LOOK AT MY BABY BEFORE SHE GOT
COKE WOKIFIED HER, JIMMY.
THAT SILKY SMOOTH FLESH, THOSE
THIGH HIGH NAUGHTY‐BOOTS.
THAT LOOK THAT SAYS, "I WANT YOU
KEN.
COME LET ME MELT IN YOUR MOUTH.
OR IN YOUR HAND IF YOU'RE NOT
READY FOR MOUTH STUFF."
>> Jimmy: KEN, KEN.
>> HUH?
>> Jimmy: KEN, ARE YOU SAYING
YOU'RE SEXUALLY AROUSED BY
CANDY.
>> ARE YOU SAYING YOU'RE NOT?
>> Jimmy: UH, YEAH, I AM.
>> WELL I'VE GOT AN IMAGE
THAT'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND.
SHOW HIM, JERRY.
THE ONE WITH THE ‐‐ OH YEAH,
THAT'S IT.
YOU'RE GOING TO STAND THERE AND
TELL ME THESE HOT, THICK LITTLE
BITCHES DO NOTHING FOR YOU
DOWNSTAIRS?
>> Jimmy: WAIT.
THOSE ARE NERDS.
YOU'RE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO
NERDS?
>> WHAT CAN I SAY?
I LIKE THE BRAINY TYPE.
OKAY?
WHAT'S THE MATTER, KIMMEL, TOO
MATURE FOR YOU?
I BET YOU'RE INTO SOUR PATCH
KIDS, YOU SICKO.
>> Jimmy: NO.
NO, I'M NOT, KEN.
>> OKAY THEN, WHAT ABOUT THE
HARIBO GUMMY BEAR?
OKAY?
LOOK AT THAT FURRY LITTLE SEXPOT
LETTING IT ALL HANG OUT.
AND LOOK, LOOK, HIS BOW TIE IS
CROOKED.
DID YOU NOTICE?
DO YOU KNOW WHY THAT IS?
NO?
BECAUSE HE'S BEEN BUSY, JIMMY.
HE HAS BEEN A BUSY LITTLE BEAR.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU
MIGHT NEED HELP.
>> YOU THINK I NEED HELP?
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> YOU KNOW WHO NEEDS HELP?
THIS COUNTRY.
>> Jimmy: I THINK YOU MIGHT NEED
A BREAK.
>> IF I TAKE A BREAK, IT WILL BE
TO BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT
KIT CAT BAR, SEXUALLY.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> AS AARON AIN SAID ON SEVEN
DIFFERENT PODCASTS, I WILL NOT
BE SILENCED.
I AM THE CANDY STORE, NOT IN THE
CVS, AND CERTAINLY NOT HERE ON
TELEVISION.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHERE ARE MY M&Ms.
>> Jimmy: I DO APPRECIATE YOU.
KEN, HOW TALL ARE YOU?
>> I'M A NORMAL HEIGHT.
WHY?
>> Jimmy: OH, NO REASON.
IT'S OKAY.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF WANTING TO SEXUALLY SATISFY A
BOWL OF ROUND FIRM LITTLE
CHOCOLATES MAKES ME NONPC, THEN
GO AHEAD AND CANCEL ME, OKAY?
I AM NOT ASHAMED, OKAY?
>> Jimmy: OH, LOOK AT LITTLE
KEN.
>> YOU MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, THANK YOU, KEN.
I THINK IT'S BEST ‐‐ THAT'S KEN
REYNOLDS FROM A SHOW WE MADE UP.
[ APPLAUSE ]
HEY, WE GOT A FUN SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
ALL THE WAY FROM CNN, JAKE
TAPPER IS HERE, AND WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK WITH THE LADY NAMED
GAGA.
SO STICK AROUND.
♪
>> Jimmy: HI THERE.
WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.
TONIGHT FROM "THE LEAD" AND
"STATE OF THE UNION" ON CNN,
JAKE TAPPER IS WITH US.
THIS WEEK, WE HAVE NEW SHOWS
WITH KRISTEN BELL,
JOHNNY KNOXVILLE,
IKE BARINHOLTZ, CHARLIE DAY, WE
HAVE MUSIC FROM ERIC BELLINGER
FEATURING SEVEN, THE WALTERS,
AND IAN DIOR FEATURING
TRAVIS BARKER.
SO PLEASE JOIN US FOR ALL OF
THAT.
OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN
OSCAR AND GRAMMY‐WINNING
SUPERSTAR WHO WAS BORN BEFORE
OUR VERY EYES.
YOU CAN SEE HER NOW SMOKING,
SCHEMING, AND SIPPING CAPPUCCINO
IN "HOUSE OF GUCCI," IT IS IN
THEATERS NOW.
PLEASE SAY CIAO TO LADY GAGA.
[ CHEERING ]
♪
>> Jimmy: HOW YOU DOING?
WELL, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
I ALWAYS LOVE HAVING YOU HERE,
AND I APPRECIATE YOU COMING.
>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE.
HELLO, BEAUTIFUL AUDIENCE!
[ CHEERING ]
>> Jimmy: IT FELT LIKE THEY WERE
IN A BETTER MOOD THAN USUAL, AND
I THINK IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE.
>> NO.
AND THE BAND.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
>> Jimmy: CLETO AND THE
CLETONES, THEY'RE FINE, THEY'RE
FINE.
SOME OF THEM ARE ON DRUGS.
HOW YOU DOING FOR THE WEEKEND?
DO YOU WATCH FOOTBALL?
DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT?
>> I WATCH FOOTBALL, WATCH
HOCKEY.
>> Jimmy: YOU DO?
>> PLAY WITH THE DOGS.
>> Jimmy: OH, ALL RIGHT.
I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU AND THE
SUPER BOWL, AND I WAS THINKING
ABOUT DRE AND SNOOP AND MARY J.
BLIGE, EMINEM DOING THE SUPER
BOWL SHOW.
WAS THAT A GOOD EXPERIENCE FOR
YOU, LOOKING BACK AT IT?
>> OH, YEAH.
PLAYING THE SUPER BOWL IS A HUGE
HONOR, AND I REMEMBER AND I GOT
THE PHONE CALL TO PLAY THE SHOW,
I JUST CRIED.
I JUST CRIED AND RAN AROUND MY
ROOM.
AND THEN I DON'T KNOW WHY.
I MADE A VERY SILLY DECISION TO
TRY TO CATCH A TOUCHDOWN.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I WANTED
TO ASK YOU ABOUT.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: BUT IT WASN'T A SILLY
DECISION.
AND I THINK ALSO ‐‐ I DON'T
KNOW, MAYBE I'M OVERTHINKING
THIS, BUT I THINK THE FACT THAT
THIS WENT THE WAY IT DID MAKES
PERFECT SENSE IN THE ARC OF YOUR
WHOLE LIFE, BECAUSE YOU ‐‐ WE
KNOW YOU CAN SING.
WE KNOW YOU CAN DANCE AND YOU'RE
GOING TO DO ALL THESE THINGS,
BUT THEN YOU DECIDE AT THE END
OF THIS PERFORMANCE.
>> Jimmy: I CAN PLAY FOOTBALL.
>> YOU'RE GOING CATCH A PASS.
WHICH IS RISKY, VERY RISKY.
>> IT'S SUPER RISKY.
I WANTED TO JUMP IN AND JUMP OUT
OF THE PERFORMANCE BECAUSE I
THOUGHT IT WAS COMPOSITIONALLY
INTERESTING.
SO I WAS SO SUPER EXCITED TO
CATCH THIS FOOTBALL.
BUT FOUR OUT OF FIVE TIMES THAT
WE PRACTICED IT, I DIDN'T GET
IT.
AND EVERYBODY ON MY TEAM WANTED
TO THROW THE FOOTBALL TO ME AT
THE SUPER BOWL.
>> Jimmy: THEY DID?
>> AND I WAS GUYS, WE NEED A
QUARTERBACK.
I DON'T ‐‐
>> Jimmy: IS THAT RIGHT?
>> THEY'RE I CAN DO IT, IT'S NO
PROBLEM.
I USED TO WITH MY BOYFRIEND IN
HIGH SCHOOL.
NO, NO.
WE'RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND.
I NEED A QUARTERBACK.
SO WE HAD A REAL QUARTERBACK
COME AND THROW ME THAT BALL.
AND WHAT WAS SO COOL WAS THAT MY
SISTER, NATALIE, WHO IS A pDESI
THIS INCREDIBLE FOOTBALL THAT
WAS COVERED IN LIKE DIAMONDS.
NOT REAL DIAMONDS.
>> Jimmy: SHE MADE IT EVEN
HARDER TO CATCH.
>> SHE MADE THE BALL HEAVIER,
AND SHE PUT MY NAME ON IT.
SO WHEN I CAUGHT THE BALL, I
CAUGHT IT RIGHT WHERE IT SAID
GAGA ON IT.
AND IT WAS FUNNY.
NO ONE COULD SEE, BUT I LANDED
IN THIS GIANT FOAM PIT THAT YOU
WOULD SEE AT A GYM OR SOMETHING.
AND I LANDED IN THE PIT AND DID
I CATCH IT?
I CAUGHT IT, I CAUGHT IT.
DID I GET IT, DID THE PEOPLE SEE
IT?
>> Jimmy: WE ACTUALLY HAVE IT ON
CAMERA RIGHT HERE.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
>> SUPER BOWL LI!
>> Jimmy: DID YOU EVER THINK IF
I MISS, IF THIS BALL BOUNCES OFF
MY HEAD, EVERYONE IS GOING TO
LAUGH AT ME FOR A LONG TIME?
>> OH, I KNEW THE HEADLINE WOULD
BE LIKE THE PATRIOTS WIN AND
LADY GAGA LOSES.
IT WAS STICK TO SINGING, HONEY.
>> Jimmy: WHERE IS THAT FOOTBALL
NOW?
DO YOU STILL HAVE IT?
>> YEAH, I DO.
>> Jimmy: IS IT DISPLAYED
SOMEWHERE?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: OH, ALL RIGHT.
DID YOU PLAY SPORTS AS A KID?
>> I SWAM.
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE ON THE SWIM
TEAM?
>> BRIEFLY.
I WAS A DANCER.
>> Jimmy: I GOT YOU.
>> BALLET, JAZZ.
>> Jimmy: SAME HERE.
>> TAP.
>> Jimmy: ALL OF THAT.
>> COME ON.
SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: THEY KNOW.
AND YOU'RE GETTING A LOT OF, AS
YOU KNOW, AWARDS RECOGNITION FOR
THIS MOVIE FOR "HOUSE OF GUCCI"
PLAYING ‐‐
[ CHEERING ]
NOW MOST PEOPLE THINK OF YOU AS
A MUSICIAN WHO THEN JUST STARTED
ACTING BECAUSE YOU WERE POPULAR.
BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY HOW IT
WENT AT ALL.
>> FOOTBALL.
>> Jimmy: AND FOOTBALL.
PEOPLE THINK OF YOU AS A
FOOTBALL PLAYER WHO NOW ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, YOU STARTED ACTING AND
SINGING AT ROUGHLY THE SAME
TIME, RIGHT, AS FAR AS TRAINING
GOES?
>> I MEAN, ACTUALLY, I STARTED
ACTING EARLIER.
>> Jimmy: EARLIER?
>> YEAH, I DID.
AND I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE AN
ACTRESS, MUCH MORE THAN I WANTED
TO BE A SINGER.
AND I WENT TO DIFFERENT ACTING
SCHOOLS, THE MONICA MAY ACADEMY
WHEN I WAS VERY LITTLE.
AND THEN THE LEE STRASBOURG
INSTITUTE WHERE I STARTED A LOT
OF SENSE MEMORY TECHNIQUE AND
STANISLAUS SKI, THERE IS A
CONSERVATORY CALLED CIRCLE IN
THE SQUARE.
AND I JUST ALWAYS WANTED TO BE
AN ACTRESS, BUT I REALLY WAS
TERRIBLE AT AUDITIONS.
AND I GOT INTO TISH.
I WENT TO COLLEGE FOR ABOUT FIVE
MINUTES.
>> Jimmy: AT NYU.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU MAJORED IN WHAT
THERE?
>> IN MUSICAL THEATER.
>> Jimmy: IN MUSICAL THEATER.
>> SO I USED TO GET IN TROUBLE
BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T ALLOWED TO
AUDITION.
>> Jimmy: WHY?
>> THEY WANTED YOU TO FOCUS ON
STUDYING YOUR CRAFT, WHICH I'D
BEEN STUDYING SINCE I WAS 4.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> BECAUSE I'M PSYCHOTIC ABOUT
MY ART.
AND, YOU KNOW, SO I WAS
AUDITIONING ALL THE TIME.
AND I REMEMBER THIS ONE TIME I
GOT MANY, MANY CALLBACKS TO PLAY
MAUREEN IN THE DOMESTIC TOUR OF
"RENT."
AND I WAS SO EXCITED, AND I GOT
CALLBACK AFTER CALLBACK AFTER
CALLBACK.
AND ONE DAY THEY SAID HOW OLD
ARE YOU?
AND I ACTUALLY WAS IN COLLEGE
WHEN I WAS 17.
>> Jimmy: OH, REALLY?
WOW.
>> SO I HAD TO TELL THEM I WAS
17.
AND THEY ‐‐ SO I LEGALLY WASN'T
ALLOWED TO GO ON THIS TOUR, AND
I WASTED ALL THEIR TIME.
WELL, WE CAN'T HIRE YOU.
AND THEN I WENT BACK TO CLASS
AND I GOT CALLED INTO THE
PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE AND I GOT
SCOLDED FOR AUDITIONING.
>> Jimmy: THEY RATTED YOU OUT?
>> THE PEOPLE, KIDS IN THE
SCHOOL.
I DON'T KNOW, SOMEONE FOUND OUT.
ALSO, I SKIPPED CLASS.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
WELL THAT MAY HAVE TIPPED THEM
OFF.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU EVER DO
COMMERCIAL AUDITIONS AND "LAW &
ORDER," THAT NEW YORK STUFF,
THAT KIND OF STUFF?
>> I DID COMMERCIAL AUDITIONS.
I WAS TERRIBLE.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU REMEMBER ANY OF
THE COMMERCIALS YOU AUDITIONED
FOR?
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: WHAT WAS IT?
>> THERE WAS A VERY SPICY
LENSCRAFTERS COMMERCIAL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LENSCRAFTERS, WOW.
>> YEAH.
AND I JUST ‐‐ I GOT A CALLBACK.
CALLBACKS ARE WHEN THEY LIKED
YOU THE FIRST TIME SO YOU CAN
COME BACK.
AND IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO WEAR THE
SAME T‐SHIRT SO THEY REMEMBER
THAT IT WAS YOU.
I WORE THE SAME OUTFIT, AND I
WENT BACK.
AND I HAD ONE LINE.
I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT MY ONE
LINE WAS.
BUT THIS TIME THERE WERE CAMERAS
ON ME.
THE FIRST TIME IT WAS JUST A
COUPLE OF PEOPLE IN THE ROOM.
AND SO NOW THERE WAS CAMERAS ON
ME.
I HAD NEVER BEEN IN FRONT OF
TELEVISION CAMERAS BEFORE, AND I
JUST COMPLETELY FROZE.
AT SOME POINT IN THE COMMERCIAL,
THE GLASSES WERE SUPPOSED TO
FALL OFF.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO FUMBLE MY
GLASSES.
I THINK THE IDEA WAS ANY GLASSES
THAT AREN'T LENSCRAFTERS GLASSES
ARE NO GOOD.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS TRUE, YEAH.
>> SO I SAY MY LINE AND THEY'RE
LIKE UH, SWEETHEART, THE GLASSES
ARE SUPPOSED TO FALL OFF.
AND I WAS OH.
AND THEN I STARTED LIKE ‐‐ I
JUST STARTED MAKING THEM FALL
OFF AND I DIDN'T REDO THE
COMMERCIAL.
AND THEN WHEN YOU DON'T GET THE
PART THEY JUST GO "THANK YOU."
>> Jimmy: WOW.
THAT WOULD ‐‐ YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU LUCKED OUT REALLY, BECAUSE
NOW I WOULD BE THROWING TO YOUR
LENSCRAFTERS COMMERCIAL THAT YOU
DID AND DIDN'T WANT ANYBODY TO
SEE.
>> AND I WOULD BE VERY PROUD.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, YOU WOULD HAVE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
I LEARNED SOMETHING THAT DAY.
>> Jimmy: WHAT?
>> I LEARNED ALL ABOUT REJECTION
AND HOW THE TAKE IT LIKE A
QUEEN.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
GOOD.
I LEARN THAT A LOT.
LADY GAGA IS HERE WITH US.
"HOUSE OF GUCCI" IS THE MOVIE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪
>>> WHERE IS HE RIGHT I KNOW?
WHERE IS HE RIGHT NOW?
LOOK IN MY EYES.
DO YOU SEE ANYTHING IN THESE
EYES THAT WOULD LET YOU THINK
THAT I WOULD EVER LET ANYONE
RUIN MY DAUGHTER'S LIFE?
COMPROMISE HER, DO YOU?
DO YOU SEE THAT?
YOU KNOW THAT WON'T HAPPEN.
>> Jimmy: EAT YOUR HEART OUT,
LENS CRAFTERS.
IT'S LADY GAGA IN "HOUSE OF
GUCCI."
YEAH, YOU'RE GREAT IN THE MOVIE.
IT'S AMAZING THAT YOU'RE THIS
TALENTED AND LENS CRAFTERS
DIDN'T RECOGNIZE IT.
IT REALLY IS.
YOU ARE AN ITALIAN AMERICAN,
WHICH IS DIFFERENT FROM BEING AN
ITALIAN IN A LOT OF WAYS.
>> YEAH, TOTALLY.
>> Jimmy: BEING OVER IN ITALY, I
FIRST OF ALL, I WOULD HAVE TO ‐‐
THE PLOT OF THE MOVIE WOULD HAVE
TO BE ME GETTING FATTER AS THE
MOVIE GOES ALONG BECAUSE I DON'T
THINK I COULD ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW, I
DON'T THINK I COULD CONTROL
MSELF KNOWING I'M THERE FOR A
CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME.
DO YOU HAVE THAT?
OR IS THAT SOMETHING.
>> I ATE THE ENTIRE TIME.
>> Jimmy: GOOD.
>> I ATE MY WAY THROUGH THE SET.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S THE BEST THING
YOU ATE WHILE YOU WERE THERE?
>> THERE WAS SO MUCH.
THE PIZZA WAS SO GOOD.
THE PASTA WAS SO GOOD.
THE SANDWICHES.
I HAD SO MUCH COFFEE THOUGH.
>> Jimmy: COULD HAVE FOE.
>> A DOPIO.
IT'S A DOUBLE.
BUT I HAD THEM ALL DAY.
THINK 24 ESPRESSOS IN ONE DAY.
EVERY HOUR.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A LOT OF
ESPRESSOS.
WAS IT FUN SPEAKING WITH THAT
ITALIAN ACCENT?
AND I KNOW YOU DID THAT, LIKE
YOU DID THAT ALL DAY.
SO YOU DIDN'T DROP OUT OF IT,
RIGHT?
>> YEAH, I SPOKE IN MY ACCENT
ALL THE TIME SO THAT I COULD GET
REALLY USED TO TALKING TO
SOMEBODY WITH MY ACCENT AND HAVE
A REALLY NORMAL CONVERSATION SO
I COULD JUST BE IN MY BODY AND
TALK.
AND IT WAS REALLY GREAT FOR ME
ON SET.
BUT WITH MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY,
YOU KNOW, I THINK THEY HAD TO
GET USED TO IT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT.
YEAH.
IT'S SOMETHING THAT OH, THAT'S
GREAT, BUT YOUR SISTER WOULD BE
ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH WITH THE
ITALIAN ACCENT ALREADY.
>> WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT'S SO
FUNNY, MY FAMILY, IT'S LIKE MY
CREATIVE NEUROSIS IS THEY'RE
JUST.
YOU HUNGRY?
YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN.
MY FAMILY IS VERY ‐‐ THEY KNOW
WHO I AM.
I THINK IT'S MORE THAT FOR ME,
THAT IMMERSIVE APPROACH TO
ACTING IS SOMETHING THAT IS
REALLY BEHOLDEN TO MY HEART.
AND I HAVE TO SAY, YOU KNOW, WE
DON'T ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THIS,
BUT MY FELLOW ACTORS ON THAT
SET, EVERYBODY WAS IN CHARACTER.
IT WAS NOT JUST ME.
THAT MOVIE WAS SHOT WITH AN
INCREDIBLE CAST.
>> Jimmy: WHAT A CAST.
>> SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE WORKED
WITH.
AND WE WERE IN IT ALL THE TIME.
>> Jimmy: JEREMY IRONS, AL
PACINO.
YOUR PARENTS HAD TO GO NUTS WHEN
YOU TOLD THEM YOU WERE DOING A
MOVIE WITH AL PACINO, RIGHT?
>> OH, YEAH.
MY FATHER HAS HAD HEART ISSUES
HIS WHOLE LIFE.
AND I WAS THIS IS GOING TO PUT
HIM BACK IN THE HOSPITAL.
MY FAMILY IS SO ITALIAN.
WE'RE ITALIAN AMERICAN, BUT
WE'RE ITALIAN.
MY FATHER, I WAS LIKE ARE YOU
SITTING DOWN?
HE GOES WHAT HAPPENED?
AND I'M LIKE, WERE YOU STRESSED
TODAY?
AND HE GOES WHO'S INVOLVED?
LIKE YOU KNOW EVERY ITALIAN IN
NEW YORK.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT.
>> SO THEN I TELL HIM IT WAS
PACINO.
HE IS OH MY GOD, STEFANI ‐‐
THAT'S MY REAL NAME.
AND MY SISTER SAID "THIS IS
RIDICULOUS."
MY WHOLE FAMILY.
AND FOR EVERYBODY, FOR ADAM
DRIVER, FOR SALMA HAYEK.
>> Jimmy: SALMA HAYEK.
>> AND JARED LETO.
JARED LETO IS AMAZING.
>> Jimmy: I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT
WAS HIM.
I FIGURED IT OUT AFTERWARDS.
I THOUGHT JARED LETO WAS IN THIS
MOVIE.
OH, HE WAS IN THE MOVIE, YEAH.
>> BUT IT'S SO GREAT DOING
SCENES WITH JARED.
JARED, WE'RE BOTH MANIACS TO A
CERTAIN EXTENT.
AND I THINK LIKE, YOU KNOW, IN
SOME SORT OF WAY, I THINK IF ‐‐
UNLESS YOU'RE REALLY IN TUNE
WITH YOURSELF AS AN ARTIST AND
RESPECT THE PERSON THAT YOU'RE
WORKING WITH, ALL THAT HAIR AND
MAKEUP THAT WE WERE BOTH IN
MIGHT FEEL REALLY HARD TO
CONNECT ON A REAL AND HUMAN
LEVEL.
BUT I JUST NEVER MET JARED ON
SET.
I WAS ALWAYS WITH PAOLO AND HE
WAS ALWAYS WITH PATRIZIA.
YOU KNOW, THE FATHER, SON IN
"HOUSE OF GUCCI," THAT WAS
COMPLETELY AD LIBBED IN THAT
SCENE.
THAT WAS COMPLETELY SPONTANEOUS.
IT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT.
>> Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S FUN.
WHEN YOU HAVE MOMENTS LIKE THAT
AND YOU GO OH, THAT'S JUST
GREAT.
AN THEN IT MAKES IT INTO THE
FILM.
>> YEAH, I USED TO IT DO IN MY
TRAILER AS A PRAYER BEFORE I
WENT TO DO MY SCENES.
SO AFTER THE TEAM GOT ME ALL
READY AND I STUDIED, I WOULD
BEFORE I WOULD GO ON SET, I'D GO
FATHER, SON AND HOUSE OF GUCCI.
AND THEN WE WERE SHOOTING THE
SCENE ONE DAY, AND HE GOES CAN
YOU KEEP A SECRET?
AND I SAID "FATHER, SON AND
HOUSE OF GUCCI" AND IT NATURALLY
MADE IT IN.
>> Jimmy: AND YOU'RE PLAYING A
REAL PERSON.
SO THAT IS A LEAP TOO.
YOU TALK ABOUT SALMA HAYEK, AND
I HEARD IN AN INTERVIEW THAT YOU
GUYS HAD A LOVE SCENE TOGETHER
AND IT WAS EXCISED FROM THE
FILM.
WHO CUT THAT OUT OF THE MOVIE?
>> NOT ME.
I'LL NEVER FORGET WHAT I TOLD ‐‐
I WAS LIKE ‐‐ I WAS LIKE OKAY,
LISTEN.
SO BEFORE WE DO THIS SCENE, I
JUST WANT YOUR CONSENT TO DO
SOMETHING TOGETHER.
AND SHE IS OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
AND I SAID OKAY, SO I WAS
THINKING, YOU KNOW, AFTER THE
HIT GETS PUT OUT ON MAURIZIO AND
YOU GET THE PHONE CALL THAT HE
IS DEAD, THAT I WILL GO OVER TO
YOU AND KISS YOU.
AND SHE IS WHAT?
SO THEN WE TOLD RIDLEY, AND HIS
WIFE WAS THE PRODUCER ON THE
FILM.
JANINE IS AMAZING.
SHE HAS BEEN CULTIVATING THIS
FILM FOR 20 YEARS.
SO THIS WAS 20 YEARS IN THE
MAKING.
SO THEN WE ASKED THEM, THEY WERE
LIKE YEAH, SURE, TRY IT.
AND WE DID IT.
THE ONLY REASON IT'S NOT IN THE
MOVIE IS BECAUSE THAT WHOLE
SCENE WAS CUT.
BUT IT WAS AN AWESOME SCENE.
BUT SHE'S WALKING AROUND THE
HOUSE, AND THE CAMERA WAS
FOLLOWING HER FEET AND ALL HER
CATS WERE FOLLOWING HER.
AND SALMA, IN ORDER TO GET THE
CATS TO FOLLOW HER, SHE PUT A
BUNCH OF CATNIP IN HER BOOT.
SO SALMA IS WALKING AROUND THE
HOUSE AND THE CATS ARE FOLLOWING
HER.
AND THEN WE'RE SURROUNDED BY
CAT, AND WE STARTED MAKING OUT.
AND I MADE OUT WITH SALMA HAYEK.
>> Jimmy: NABI WILL BE RELEASED
AS ITS OWN FILM.
>> BUT I'M LIKE THAT REALLY
ANNOYING KID IN SCHOOL THAT'S
LIKE BRAGGING THAT THEY MADE OUT
WITH THE POPULAR GIRL BUT HAS NO
PROOF.
I BREAK INTO RIDLEY.
>> Jimmy: DON'T WORRY.
I'LL GET THAT FOR YOU.
YEAH.
WELL, IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU.
CONGRATULATIONS.
>> GREAT TO SEE YOU TOO.
>> Jimmy: THE MOVIE IS CALLED
"HOUSE OF GUCCI."
IT'S IN THEATERS NOW.
IT COMES OUT DIGITALLY ON
FEBRUARY 1.
LADY GAGA, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH JAKE TAPPER.
♪
>> Lou: AND NOW, IT'S TIME TO
FIND OUT, WHERE IS RUSS HIDING?
WHERE IS RUSS HIDING THIS TIME?
>> I'M BEHIND THE CHAIR.
>> Lou: AND THAT'S WHERE RUSS
WAS HIDING.
♪
>> Jimmy: HI THERE.
WELCOME BACK.
OUR NEXT GUEST IS A TRUSTED
NEWSMAN WHO WORKS HARD TO KEEP
US INFORMED OF BOTH IMPORTANT
WORLD EVENTS AND HIS DAILY
WORDLE SCORE.
YOU CAN SEE HIM UP TO SIX DAYS A
WEEK ON BOTH "THE LEAD" AND
"STATE OF THE UNION" ON CNN.
PLEASE WELCOME JAKE TAPPER.
[ CHEERING ]
♪
>> Jimmy: HOW YOU DOING?
DID YOU MEET LADY GAGA?
>> I DID.
I DID MEET HER.
IT WAS QUITE A THRILL.
SHE'S AWESOME.
>> Jimmy: SHE IS SOMETHING ELSE,
YEAH.
>> AND NOW MY DAUGHTER HATES ME
EVEN MORE THAN SHE DID WHEN I
TOLD HER I WAS COMING OUT HERE.
SHE IS FURIOUS.
>> Jimmy: SHE LOVES LADY GAGA?
>> SHE LOVES LADY GAGA.
AND NOW HATES ME.
>> Jimmy: HOW OLD IS YOUR
DAUGHTER?
>> MY DAUGHTER IS 14, ALICE.
YOU MET HER.
>> Jimmy: YES.
A VERY NICE KID.
VERY, VERY NICE KID.
YOU HAVE TWO KIDS, ALICE AND
JACK.
>> ALICE AND JACK.
>> Jimmy: A GIRL AND A BOY.
>> YEAH, BUT I WANT TO SHARE
THIS WITH YOU.
I ASKED HER IF I COULD.
AND SHE DEMANDED THAT I DO.
>> Jimmy: OH, OKAY.
>> BECAUSE I WANTED TO SHARE HOW
ANGRY SHE IS AT ME.
>> Jimmy: EVEN BETTER.
>> SHE STARTED SENDING ME VERY
UPSET SNAPCHAT NOTES THAT I
SCREEN SHOT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T TAKE
ME.
I AM SO INFURIATED.
SHE IS 14 AND SHE IS IN SCHOOL,
I SHOULD NOTE.
"OMG.
I'M JUST AT HOME WHILE YOU ARE
OUT TRAVELING TO GO HANG OUT
WITH CELEBRITIES AND LADY GAGA
AND YOU JUST LEFT ME HERE.
IT'S LIKE SO RUDE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> SHE IS VERY ANGRY ABOUT IT.
AND SHE KEEPS ON GOING AND GOING
"THIS WILL NOT STAND".
>> Jimmy: THIS WILL NOT STAND?
>> "THIS IS INEXCUSABLE.
I WILL REMEMBER THIS FOREVER."
I TOLD JIMMY ABOUT THIS.
ALICE, I TOLD JIMMY KIMMEL HOW
MAD YOU ARE FOR NOT BRINGING YOU
AND HE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT IT ON
AIR BUT WE WON'T IF YOU DON'T
WANT US TO AND SHE WRITES BACK
ALL CAPS, "DO IT!"
[ APPLAUSE ]
I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE SIDING WITH
HER.
AND THEN THIS IS MY FAVORITE,
"IT'S GENUINELY A CRIME YOU
DIDN'T BRING ME."
SO I SENT HER THIS.
>> Jimmy: OH, THAT'S RUBBING IT.
THAT'S NOT FAIR AT ALL.
>> I SENT THAT TO THE FAMILY
GROUP CHAT.
AND ALICE WROTE BACK "ABSOLUTELY
DESPICABLE."
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: IS SHE ‐‐ IS ALICE A
FOX NEWS VIEWER?
>> NOT A FOX PERSON.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE A LOT OF
JOBS.
YOU ARE A PARENT, OBVIOUSLY.
YOU'VE GOT A SHOW FIVE DAYS A
WEEK, TWO HOURS A DAY ON CNN.
YOU'RE THE LEAD ANCHOR.
IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, YOU GET
CALLED IN.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE THE WEEKEND
SHOW.
>> WITH DANA BASH, THE SUNDAY
SHOW, RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE WRITTEN A
WHOLE BUNCH OF BOOKS.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE LIKE THE STEVE
HARVEY OF CABLE NEWS IN A LOT OF
WAYS.
THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE SAY.
>> AND THAT'S MY ROLE MODEL.
THAT'S HOW I DRESS.
>> Jimmy: AND NOW ‐‐ AND NOW
YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER SHOW.
>> A NEW SHOW.
CNN IS LAUNCHING A STREAMING
SERVICE CALLED CNN+.
>> Jimmy: WERE YOU EXPECTING
PEOPLE TO CLAP AT THAT MOMENT?
>>.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> I KNOW PEOPLE ARE LIKE THERE
IS ANOTHER STREAMING SERVICE?
BUT WE'RE ASPIRING TO DO A LOT
OF NEW PROGRAMING.
AND WE'RE GOING TO BE HAVING AN
INTERVIEW SHOW ABOUT BOOKS WITH
AUTHORS.
JUST BECAUSE OTHER THAN C‐SPAN,
THERE REALLY ISN'T A SHOW THAT
YOU CAN DO A HALF HOUR, 40
MINUTE INTERVIEW WITH AN AUTHOR.
>> Jimmy: SO THESE ARE BOOKS
THAT YOU LIKE, YOU THINK YOU
MIGHT LIKE?
>> RIGHT.
BRING THE AUTHOR IN AND TALK
WITH.
>> WE HOPE TO HAVE 12 FOR THE
SEASON.
WE'VE ALREADY SHOT TWO.
ONE WAS EARLIER TODAY WITH THIS
GREAT YOUNG WOMAN, A WRITER
NAMED JEAN CHIN HO.
IT'S A LITERARY BOOK ABOUT TWO
BEST FRIENDS, TAIWANESE AMERICAN
GIRLS AND THEN WOMEN.
THE OTHER BOOK I DID, I
INTERVIEWED THE AUTHORS, IN
MARCH JAMES PATTERSON, WHO I'M
SURE YOUR AUDIENCE NOSE,
BEST‐SELLING AUTHOR.
>> Jimmy: WE SEE THOSE
COMMERCIALS.
>> JAMES PATTERSON CO‐WROTE A
BOOK WITH DOLLY PARTON.
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW.
>> AND DOLLY PARTON HAS AN ALBUM
THAT COMES OUT WITH THE BOOK
BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT TWO NASHVILLE
SINGERS.
IT'S A THRILLER.
I READ THAT, LISTENED TO THE
ALBUM AND INTERVIEWED THEM.
>> Jimmy: SO INTERVIEWED CLINTON
AND REPLACED THEM WITH DOLLY
PARTON.
>> I THINK HE PLAYS THE FIELD.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU GET THE SENSE
DOLLY REALLY WROTE THE BOOK?
>> I GOT THE SENSE THAT SHE
INFORMED A LOT OF THE
INFORMATION IN IT.
>> Jimmy: I SEE.
>> AND SHE DEFINITELY WROTE THE
SONGS.
>> Jimmy: INTERESTING.
ALL RIGHT.
SPEAKING OF SHOW BUSINESS AND
NEWS KIND OF CROSSING OVER, YOU
I THINK FAMOUSLY, I DON'T KNOW
THAT PEOPLE KNOW THAT WHEN
YOU'RE YOUNGER AND BEFORE SHE
WORKED AT THE WHITE HOUSE, YOU
DATED MONICA LEWINSKY.
ONE DATE.
>> I WENT ON ONE DATE WITH HER.
IT WAS ACTUALLY AFTER SHE ‐‐ IT
WAS IN THAT WEIRD PERIOD RIGHT
BEFORE THE WHOLE STORY BLEW UP.
SO IT WAS DECEMBER 1997.
AND I GUESS EVERYTHING BROKE IN
JANUARY 1998.
I WENT ON ONE DATE WITH HER.
I KNEW NOTHING.
BILL CLINTON'S NAME DID NOT COME
UP.
I WAS NEVER SUBPOENAED.
AND, BUT YEAH, I KNOW HER.
I STILL KNOW HER TO THIS DAY.
>> Jimmy: THE REASON I BRING
THIS UP IS NOT TO EMBARRASS YOU,
BUT RATHER TO MENTION THERE WAS
THIS ‐‐ THE MINISERIES, LIKE A
LIMITED.
>> IT WAS AMERICAN CRIME STORY.
>> Jimmy: AMERICAN CRIME STORY.
AND THEY DEPICTED THAT MEETING.
>> THEY DEPICTED OUR DATE.
>> Jimmy: IN THIS MINISERIES.
WE HAVE IT RIGHT HERE.
>> TRY AND GIVE OFF AN AIR OF
INACCESSIBILITY.
WAS I SUCCESSFUL?
>> OH, YES.
GOOD JOB.
>> I'M JAKE, JAKE TAPPER.
>> I'M MONICA.
>> CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?
>> OH, IT'S A WEEK NIGHT.
I WAS GOING TO HEAD HOME AND
HAVE DINNER.
>> YOU KNOW YOU CAN HAVE FOOD
HERE.
IT'S TEX‐MEX.
>> Jimmy: WAS THAT ACCURATE?
DID YOU SAY I'M JAKE, JAKE
TAPPER, LIKE YOU WERE JAMES BOND
OR SOMETHING?
>> IT'S A LITTLE HOLLYWOODIZED.
BUT IT'S VAGUELY ACCURATE.
>> Jimmy: WAS IT A MEXICAN
RESTAURANT?
>> YEAH, WE DID HAVE TEX‐MEX.
IT WASN'T THAT SAME NIGHT.
FOR GOD'S SAKE, THAT'S
DESPERATE.
>>Jimmy: WERE YOU WEARING A
CABLE KNIT SWEATER ON THIS?
>> IT'S SO FUNNY YOU SAY THAT.
I'M STILL FRIENDS WITH MONICA.
AND WHEN I WATCH THE SCENE, I
TEXTED HER THE NEXT DAY AND I
SAID LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHERE
THEY GOT THAT.
I DID ACTUALLY OWN LIKE A WHITE
GREEK FISHERMAN'S SWEATER.
DID I WEAR THAT ON THE DATE?
AND THEN I KIND OF WAS WORRIED
THAT A, I DID, AND B, THAT SHE
REMEMBERED IT.
BUT SHE SAID I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
YOU WORE.
OKAY, GOOD.
>> Jimmy: IS YOUR LIFE BORING
NOW THAT DONALD TRUMP IS NO
LONGER PRESIDENT?
>> NO, THE CURRENT PRESIDENT
JUST CALLED SOMEONE A DUMB SON
OF A BITCH TODAY.
>> Jimmy: THAT REPORTER, PETER
DOOCY, IS HE A DUMB SON OF A
BITCH?
>> I DON'T THINK ANY PRESIDENT
SHOULD BE CALLING ANY JOURNALIST
A DUMB SON OF A BITCH.
TO BE FAIR TO PETER DOOCY, THE
QUESTION WAS FAIRLY LY ANNO DIN
>> Jimmy: HE DIDN'T TECHNICALLY
CALL HIM A DUMB SON OF A BITCH.
IT WAS CAUGHT ON MICROPHONE.
>> IT WOULD BE LIKE ME CALLING
YOU A DUMB SON OF A BITCH RIGHT
NOW, IN FRONT OF A MICROPHONE.
IT WASN'T LIKE ROBERT DURST
CONFESSING TO MURDER IN THE
BATHROOM FOR GETTING HIS MIC ON.
IT WAS AT A PRESS CONFERENCE.
>> Jimmy: IT WAS LIKE THAT.
IT WAS LIKE THAT.
>> IT WAS IN THE BATHROOM?
>> Jimmy: WAIT A MINUTE.
FOX NEWS SAYS YOU ARE ‐‐ THAT
YOU'RE ON TEAM BIDEN, AND YOU
ARE A MOUTHPIECE FOR THE
DEMOCRATS.
AND YET HERE YOU ARE DEFENDING
PETER DOOCY, WHO AS FAR AS I
HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO IS INDEED A
DUMB SON OF A BITCH.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> SO I DO NOT AGREE WITH THAT.
AND I WILL SAY STANDARDS FOR
DECENCY DON'T HAVE TO DO WITH
WHETHER OR NOT YOU LIKE THE
PEOPLE THAT ARE BEING TREATED
POORLY.
IT JUST HAS TO DO WITH THE
STANDARD.
AND YES, I RECOGNIZE THAT ‐‐
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> I RECOGNIZE THAT PETER'S
CHANNEL PROBABLY WOULD NEVER
COME TO MY DEFENSE LIKE THAT.
BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS.
I SHOULD ALSO NOTE, JUST IN
TERMS OF BREAKING NEWS, BIDEN
DID CALL PETER DOOCY TO
APOLOGIZE.
THEY DID HAVE A PHONE
CONVERSATION.
HE DID.
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW.
>> SO ACCORDING TO OUR CNN ‐‐
>> Jimmy: I'M SURE TRUMP DID
THAT, THOUGH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU DON'T HEAR FROM
HIM, DO YOU?
>> HE GAVE OUT MAPS TO OUR
HOMES.
>> Jimmy: JAKE TAPPER,
EVERYBODY.
"THE LEAD" WITH JAKE TAPPER,
"STATE OF THE UNION," JAKE'S
BOOK CLUB ON CNN+.
HE'S DOING EVERYTHING.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK LADY
GAGA AND THIS GENTLEMAN, JAKE
TAPPER.
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR MATT
DAMON.
WE DID RUN OUT OF TIME FOR HIM.
JAKE, WILL YOU TELL YOUR VIEWERS
TOMORROW NIGHT WE HAVE KRISTEN
BELL AND IKE BERRINGER.
>> TOMORROW NIGHT KRISTEN BELL
WITH IKE BARONHEIGHTS.
>> ON YOUR SHOW, NOT MINE.
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT.
THANKS F