1 00:00:00,343 --> 00:00:00,944 >> Lou: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S 2 00:00:00,944 --> 00:00:02,312 "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"! 3 00:00:02,312 --> 00:00:03,547 TONIGHT ‐‐ 4 00:00:03,547 --> 00:00:05,815 ROB LOWE. 5 00:00:05,815 --> 00:00:09,085 FRANCIA RAISA. 6 00:00:09,085 --> 00:00:12,556 AND MUSIC FROM JOY OLADOKUN. 7 00:00:12,556 --> 00:00:19,195 AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 8 00:00:19,195 --> 00:00:19,696 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 9 00:00:19,696 --> 00:00:29,105 ♪ 10 00:00:29,105 --> 00:00:30,106 >> Jimmy: HI, THANK YOU. 11 00:00:30,106 --> 00:00:30,674 HI, WELCOME. 12 00:00:30,674 --> 00:00:33,310 THANK YOU. 13 00:00:33,310 --> 00:00:33,944 I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST OF THE 14 00:00:33,944 --> 00:00:34,110 SHOW. 15 00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:35,812 WE'RE GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 16 00:00:35,812 --> 00:00:36,313 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 17 00:00:36,313 --> 00:00:38,281 PLEASE, RELAX. 18 00:00:38,281 --> 00:00:40,216 I KNOW IT IS ‐‐ OH, MAN, IT WAS 19 00:00:40,216 --> 00:00:42,652 VERY COLD HERE IN L. A. TODAY. 20 00:00:42,652 --> 00:00:43,186 64 DEGREES IT GOT DOWN TO. 21 00:00:43,186 --> 00:00:44,321 [ LAUGHTER ] 22 00:00:44,321 --> 00:00:46,122 I HAD TO WEAR TWO LAYERS OF YOGA 23 00:00:46,122 --> 00:00:46,690 PANTS TO WORK THIS MORNING. 24 00:00:46,690 --> 00:00:48,825 [ LAUGHTER ] 25 00:00:48,825 --> 00:00:50,560 WE THINK IT'S COLD. 26 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:51,595 WE COMPLAIN ABOUT IT BEING COLD. 27 00:00:51,595 --> 00:00:52,596 BUT IT'S NOT COLD. 28 00:00:52,596 --> 00:00:53,930 IT IS WINDY AND COLD MOST 29 00:00:53,930 --> 00:00:55,098 EVERYPLACE ELSE. 30 00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,968 THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE ARE DEALING 31 00:00:57,968 --> 00:01:01,104 WITH IN THE MIDWEST. 32 00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:01,738 COURTESY OF A NEST CAM, A MAN IN 33 00:01:01,738 --> 00:01:03,106 ILLINOIS WITH VERY SPORTY RIMS, 34 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:03,840 WAS EXCEPTIONALLY CAREFUL NOT TO 35 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:08,211 SLIP ON THE ICE. 36 00:01:08,211 --> 00:01:09,546 ON HIS WAY INTO HIS HOUSE. 37 00:01:09,546 --> 00:01:10,180 AND IN FACT, HE DID NOT SLIP ON 38 00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:10,714 THE ICE. 39 00:01:10,714 --> 00:01:14,417 [ LAUGHTER ] 40 00:01:14,417 --> 00:01:15,752 BUT HIS CAR ALMOST IMMEDIATELY 41 00:01:15,752 --> 00:01:15,919 DID. 42 00:01:15,919 --> 00:01:21,491 AND THEN ‐‐ LIKE A PENGUIN 43 00:01:21,491 --> 00:01:22,592 HEADED FOR THE SEA, HE WENT 44 00:01:22,592 --> 00:01:25,328 SLIDING AFTER IT. 45 00:01:25,328 --> 00:01:26,129 THAT'S KIND OF HOW IT'S GONE 46 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,131 WITH COVID, YOU KNOW? 47 00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:28,832 JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT WE MADE IT, 48 00:01:28,832 --> 00:01:29,466 RIGHT BACK DOWN THE DRIVEWAY WE 49 00:01:29,466 --> 00:01:29,933 GO. 50 00:01:29,933 --> 00:01:30,967 [ LAUGHTER ] 51 00:01:30,967 --> 00:01:33,737 BUT THIS IS INTERESTING. 52 00:01:33,737 --> 00:01:34,838 WE COULD HAVE A TWO‐FER AS FAR 53 00:01:34,838 --> 00:01:36,106 AS VACCINES GO. 54 00:01:36,106 --> 00:01:36,706 MODERNA IS WORKING ON A SHOT 55 00:01:36,706 --> 00:01:39,009 THAT WOULD PROTECT YOU FROM 56 00:01:39,009 --> 00:01:39,609 COVID AND THE FLU AT THE SAME 57 00:01:39,609 --> 00:01:42,545 TIME. 58 00:01:42,545 --> 00:01:44,614 THEY WERE APPARENTLY INSPIRED BY 59 00:01:44,614 --> 00:01:46,983 THE GENIUS WHO CAME UP WITH THE 60 00:01:46,983 --> 00:01:48,852 COMBINED TACO BELL/PIZZA HUT. 61 00:01:48,852 --> 00:01:49,152 [ LAUGHTER ] 62 00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:50,086 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 63 00:01:50,086 --> 00:01:50,787 AND THOSE JARS OF PEANUT BUTTER 64 00:01:50,787 --> 00:01:51,554 WITH JELLY IN THEM. 65 00:01:51,554 --> 00:01:54,924 THEY SAY THIS COULD BE THE 66 00:01:54,924 --> 00:01:58,028 SMUCKERS GOOBIE ‐‐ GOOBER 67 00:01:58,028 --> 00:01:59,729 EVENT ‐‐ I CAN'T SAY IT. 68 00:01:59,729 --> 00:01:59,996 GUILLERMO? 69 00:01:59,996 --> 00:02:00,597 >> Guillermo: I CAN'T SAY IT. 70 00:02:00,597 --> 00:02:00,997 >> Jimmy: I KNOW. 71 00:02:00,997 --> 00:02:01,297 [ LAUGHTER ] 72 00:02:01,297 --> 00:02:02,966 MODERNA SAYS THE COMBINATION 73 00:02:02,966 --> 00:02:03,466 COVID‐FLU SHOT COULD BE 74 00:02:03,466 --> 00:02:04,200 AVAILABLE BY NEXT WINTER. 75 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:04,968 AND PFIZER HAS SOMETHING SIMILAR 76 00:02:04,968 --> 00:02:05,735 GOING. 77 00:02:05,735 --> 00:02:06,703 PFIZER IS WORKING ON A SHOT THAT 78 00:02:06,703 --> 00:02:07,704 PROTECTS YOU FROM COVID AND 79 00:02:07,704 --> 00:02:09,339 GIVES YOU AN ERECTION. 80 00:02:09,339 --> 00:02:10,340 [ LAUGHTER ] 81 00:02:10,340 --> 00:02:12,108 BUT I LIKE THIS. 82 00:02:12,108 --> 00:02:14,577 IT'S ESPECIALLY GOOD FOR KIDS 83 00:02:14,577 --> 00:02:15,145 LIKE MINE WHO HATE GETTING 84 00:02:15,145 --> 00:02:17,714 SHOTS. 85 00:02:17,714 --> 00:02:19,816 AND EVEN MILITANT ANTI‐VAXERS, 86 00:02:19,816 --> 00:02:20,850 THIS IS GREAT FOR THEM, THEY 87 00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:22,652 DON'T HAVE TO RUN ALL OVER TOWN 88 00:02:22,652 --> 00:02:23,687 MAKING DEATH THREATS TO TWO 89 00:02:23,687 --> 00:02:24,220 DIFFERENT PHARMACISTS NOW. 90 00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:25,455 [ LAUGHTER ] 91 00:02:25,455 --> 00:02:26,189 HERE IN THE UNITED STATES, 92 00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:26,756 MAKING THE SHOTS ISN'T OUR 93 00:02:26,756 --> 00:02:29,225 PROBLEM. 94 00:02:29,225 --> 00:02:31,628 TAKING THE SHOTS IS THE ISSUE WE 95 00:02:31,628 --> 00:02:31,828 HAVE. 96 00:02:31,828 --> 00:02:33,763 OF 15 COUNTRIES SURVEYED, THE 97 00:02:33,763 --> 00:02:36,066 U.S. HAS THE SECOND‐LOWEST 98 00:02:36,066 --> 00:02:36,700 VACCINATION RATE IN THE WORLD. 99 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,334 IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE. 100 00:02:38,334 --> 00:02:38,835 WE'RE AT 66%. 101 00:02:38,835 --> 00:02:40,470 THE NEXT LOWEST COUNTRY, JAPAN, 102 00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:41,971 IS AT 84%. 103 00:02:41,971 --> 00:02:44,708 IT'S ALMOST LIKE PEOPLE HERE ARE 104 00:02:44,708 --> 00:02:45,308 GETTING BAD INFORMATION FROM 105 00:02:45,308 --> 00:02:45,742 SOMEPLACE, YOU KNOW? 106 00:02:45,742 --> 00:02:46,042 [ LAUGHTER ] 107 00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:47,210 THE ONLY COUNTRY BELOW US ON THE 108 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,445 LIST IS RUSSIA. 109 00:02:48,445 --> 00:02:49,679 WHICH IS KIND OF NICE. 110 00:02:49,679 --> 00:02:50,947 OUR COUNTRIES HAVEN'T BEEN ON 111 00:02:50,947 --> 00:02:52,182 THE SAME PAGE LIKE THIS SINCE 112 00:02:52,182 --> 00:02:53,216 ROCKY FOUGHT DRAGO. 113 00:02:53,216 --> 00:03:01,958 [ LAUGHTER ] 114 00:03:01,958 --> 00:03:02,692 THE PART OF ALL THIS I'M MOST 115 00:03:02,692 --> 00:03:03,426 CONFUSED BY IS THE 6% OF 116 00:03:03,426 --> 00:03:04,227 AMERICANS WHO SAYS THEY ARE 117 00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:04,961 "PLANNING TO GET VACCINATED." 118 00:03:04,961 --> 00:03:06,229 OKAY, YEAH, WHEN? 119 00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:06,830 THE VACCINE HAS BEEN OUT FOR 120 00:03:06,830 --> 00:03:07,230 MORE THAN A YEAR. 121 00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:07,731 HOW BUSY COULD YOU BE? 122 00:03:07,731 --> 00:03:08,732 [ LAUGHTER ] 123 00:03:08,732 --> 00:03:10,200 THE GOVERNMENT TODAY ‐‐ 124 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:10,967 YOU KNOW HOW BIDEN SAID HE'D BE 125 00:03:10,967 --> 00:03:12,469 SENDING US FREE TESTS? 126 00:03:12,469 --> 00:03:13,737 WELL, THE WEBSITE IS UP AND 127 00:03:13,737 --> 00:03:19,476 RUNNING A DAY AHEAD OF SCHEDULE. 128 00:03:19,476 --> 00:03:20,210 YOU GET FOUR TESTS PER 129 00:03:20,210 --> 00:03:20,844 HOUSEHOLD, WHICH IS GREAT NEWS 130 00:03:20,844 --> 00:03:21,444 FOR PEOPLE WHO LIVE ALONE AND 131 00:03:21,444 --> 00:03:22,345 LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE. 132 00:03:22,345 --> 00:03:23,313 [ LAUGHTER ] 133 00:03:23,313 --> 00:03:24,080 WHAT IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY OF 134 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:28,218 FIVE? 135 00:03:28,218 --> 00:03:28,852 DO YOU START RANKING YOUR 136 00:03:28,852 --> 00:03:29,119 CHILDREN? 137 00:03:29,119 --> 00:03:29,452 I DON'T KNOW. 138 00:03:29,452 --> 00:03:30,320 [ LAUGHTER ] 139 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,055 THE TESTS ARE EXPECTED TO SHIP 140 00:03:32,055 --> 00:03:33,289 WITHIN 7 TO 12 DAYS. 141 00:03:33,289 --> 00:03:35,058 WHICH IS GOOD. 142 00:03:35,058 --> 00:03:37,594 FREE COVID TESTS BY MAIL. 143 00:03:37,594 --> 00:03:38,628 WHAT A GREAT IDEA IF THIS WAS A 144 00:03:38,628 --> 00:03:39,729 YEAR AGO. 145 00:03:39,729 --> 00:03:40,997 [ LAUGHTER ] 146 00:03:40,997 --> 00:03:41,731 YOU KNOW, BIDEN'S ORIGINAL PLAN 147 00:03:41,731 --> 00:03:42,732 WAS YOU SEND IN A BUNCH OF 148 00:03:42,732 --> 00:03:46,536 CEREAL BOX TOPS. 149 00:03:46,536 --> 00:03:46,836 [ LAUGHTER ] 150 00:03:46,836 --> 00:03:47,470 BUT THAT DIDN'T WORK. 151 00:03:47,470 --> 00:03:49,506 NOW HE'S ON TO THIS. 152 00:03:49,506 --> 00:03:50,707 WE'VE SEEN A LOT OF PEOPLE 153 00:03:50,707 --> 00:03:52,709 MAKING A CASE FOR VACCINATION, 154 00:03:52,709 --> 00:03:57,013 FROM DR. FAUCI TO OLIVO RODRIGO 155 00:03:57,013 --> 00:03:58,081 TO ZAURN. 156 00:03:58,081 --> 00:03:59,082 ALL OF THEM. 157 00:03:59,082 --> 00:04:02,685 BUT MY OPINION THAT IS NO LIVIN 158 00:04:02,685 --> 00:04:03,887 COMPELLING ARGUMENT TO GET THE 159 00:04:03,887 --> 00:04:05,655 SHOT THAN THIS NEWS COMMENTATOR 160 00:04:05,655 --> 00:04:07,390 FROM MEXICO. 161 00:04:07,390 --> 00:04:10,860 HIS NAME IS LEONARDO SCHWEBEL. 162 00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:12,762 HE CLEARED ALL POSSIBLE LANGUAGE 163 00:04:12,762 --> 00:04:14,631 BARRIERS TO MAKE HIS CASE. 164 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:30,346 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 165 00:04:42,058 --> 00:04:45,829 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 166 00:04:45,829 --> 00:04:47,697 >> Jimmy: MUCHO BUENO! 167 00:04:47,697 --> 00:04:52,435 WELL DONE, LEONARDO SCHWEBEL! 168 00:04:52,435 --> 00:04:52,769 [ LAUGHTER ] 169 00:04:52,769 --> 00:04:54,604 I MAY MAKE THAT MY RING TONE. 170 00:04:54,604 --> 00:04:54,904 [ LAUGHTER ] 171 00:04:54,904 --> 00:04:56,973 IN HONG KONG, THE GOVERNMENT IS 172 00:04:56,973 --> 00:04:57,574 FIGHTING COVID IN THE ANIMAL 173 00:04:57,574 --> 00:05:05,949 KINGDOM. 174 00:05:05,949 --> 00:05:07,183 >> HONG KONG ANNOUNCED THEY WILL 175 00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:08,918 BE EUTHANIZING ABOUT 2,000 176 00:05:08,918 --> 00:05:11,221 ANIMALS AFTER RODENTS IN A PET 177 00:05:11,221 --> 00:05:13,556 STORE TESTED POSITIVE FOR 178 00:05:13,556 --> 00:05:15,325 COVID‐19 WHERE AN INFECTED 179 00:05:15,325 --> 00:05:16,993 EMPLOYEE WAS WORKING. 180 00:05:16,993 --> 00:05:19,429 CUSTOMERS WHO PURCHASED ANIMALS 181 00:05:19,429 --> 00:05:20,697 WILL BE FORCED TO QUARANTINE AND 182 00:05:20,697 --> 00:05:22,899 MUST HAND OVER THEIR HAMSTERS TO 183 00:05:22,899 --> 00:05:24,100 AUTHORITIES TO BE PUT DOWN. 184 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,168 >> Jimmy: HAND OVER YOUR 185 00:05:25,168 --> 00:05:25,435 HAMSTERS? 186 00:05:25,435 --> 00:05:26,336 THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME. 187 00:05:26,336 --> 00:05:26,970 DON'T HAMSTERS ALREADY LIVE IN 188 00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:28,004 QUARANTINE? 189 00:05:28,004 --> 00:05:29,205 [ LAUGHTER ] 190 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:31,074 IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE GOING OUT 191 00:05:31,074 --> 00:05:31,407 TO EAT, RIGHT? 192 00:05:31,407 --> 00:05:32,342 [ LAUGHTER ] 193 00:05:32,342 --> 00:05:34,043 I MEAN, WHAT'S THE PLASTIC BALL 194 00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:36,312 FOR IF NOT THIS? 195 00:05:36,312 --> 00:05:36,613 [ LAUGHTER ] 196 00:05:36,613 --> 00:05:37,313 OMICRON IS ALSO WREAKING HAVOC 197 00:05:37,313 --> 00:05:39,082 ONTHE WINTER OLYMPICS, WHICH 198 00:05:39,082 --> 00:05:40,049 ARE SET TO START NEXT MONTH IN 199 00:05:40,049 --> 00:05:41,050 BEIJING. 200 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,819 CHINA YESTERDAY ANNOUNCED THEY 201 00:05:42,819 --> 00:05:43,353 WON'T BE SELLING TICKETS. 202 00:05:43,353 --> 00:05:44,554 THERE WILL BE NO SPECTATORS AT 203 00:05:44,554 --> 00:05:47,056 ANY OF THE EVENTS. 204 00:05:47,056 --> 00:05:48,558 THEY HAVE DECIDED TO BAN 205 00:05:48,558 --> 00:05:50,059 FOREIGNERS FROM VISITING AND 206 00:05:50,059 --> 00:05:51,594 SEVERAL COUNTRIES, INCLUDING THE 207 00:05:51,594 --> 00:05:52,829 U.S., ARE ADVISING ATHLETES NOT 208 00:05:52,829 --> 00:05:54,097 TO BRING THEIR CELL PHONES WITH 209 00:05:54,097 --> 00:05:55,365 THEM. 210 00:05:55,365 --> 00:05:56,599 BECAUSE THEY THINK THE CHINESE 211 00:05:56,599 --> 00:05:57,867 GOVERNMENT IS LIKELY TO TRY TO 212 00:05:57,867 --> 00:05:59,102 TRACK AND HACK INTO THEM. 213 00:05:59,102 --> 00:06:00,103 BOY, THE OLYMPIC COMMITTEE 214 00:06:00,103 --> 00:06:01,137 REALLY HIT IT OUT OF THE PARK ON 215 00:06:01,137 --> 00:06:04,807 THIS ONE, DIDN'T THEY? 216 00:06:04,807 --> 00:06:06,209 [ LAUGHTER ] 217 00:06:06,209 --> 00:06:12,115 LET'S SEE. 218 00:06:12,115 --> 00:06:13,416 COVID‐PARANOID SURVEILLANCE 219 00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:14,651 STATE WITH CONCENTRATION CAMPS 220 00:06:14,651 --> 00:06:15,385 AND NO SNOW ‐‐ WINTER OLYMPICS, 221 00:06:15,385 --> 00:06:15,718 HERE WE COME! 222 00:06:15,718 --> 00:06:19,455 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 223 00:06:19,455 --> 00:06:20,890 BACK HERE AT HOME IN AMERICA, 224 00:06:20,890 --> 00:06:23,259 THE MY PILLOW MAN, MIKE LINDELL, 225 00:06:23,259 --> 00:06:23,860 IS HAVING SOME TROUBLE IN THE 226 00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:25,261 MONEY DEPARTMENT. 227 00:06:25,261 --> 00:06:25,962 THE TROUBLE IS, NO ONE WANTS HIS 228 00:06:25,962 --> 00:06:26,729 MONEY. 229 00:06:26,729 --> 00:06:27,497 MIKE CLAIMS THAT NOT ONE, BUT 230 00:06:27,497 --> 00:06:28,731 TWO DIFFERENT FINANCIAL 231 00:06:28,731 --> 00:06:31,267 INSTITUTIONS HAVE ASKED HIM TO 232 00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:32,969 LEAVE THEIR BANK. 233 00:06:32,969 --> 00:06:33,703 ACCORDING TO A REPRESENTATIVE 234 00:06:33,703 --> 00:06:34,470 FROM ONE OF THE BANKS, HAVING A 235 00:06:34,470 --> 00:06:38,374 BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH 236 00:06:38,374 --> 00:06:39,976 MIKE LINDELL IS A REPUTATION 237 00:06:39,976 --> 00:06:40,877 RISK, WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE, 238 00:06:40,877 --> 00:06:41,544 GIVEN THE FACT THAT HE AS 239 00:06:41,544 --> 00:06:42,145 NATIONALLY KNOWN CRAZY PERSON. 240 00:06:42,145 --> 00:06:45,548 [ LAUGHTER ] 241 00:06:45,548 --> 00:06:49,686 MIKE IS OBVIOUSLY UPSET. 242 00:06:49,686 --> 00:06:50,219 SO MUCH SO THAT DURING AN 243 00:06:50,219 --> 00:06:50,954 APPEARANCE IN ARIZONA OVER THE 244 00:06:50,954 --> 00:06:51,521 WEEKEND, HE SHARED AUDIO HE 245 00:06:51,521 --> 00:06:52,188 CLAIMS CAME FROM A PHONE 246 00:06:52,188 --> 00:06:52,822 CONVERSATION BETWEEN ONE OF HIS 247 00:06:52,822 --> 00:06:53,456 EMPLOYEES AND ONE OF HIS BANKS. 248 00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:57,327 LISTEN. 249 00:06:57,327 --> 00:06:58,895 >> WHENEVER A BANK CLOSES YOUR 250 00:06:58,895 --> 00:07:01,297 ACCOUNT, YOU'RE ON A BAD BOY 251 00:07:01,297 --> 00:07:01,497 LIST. 252 00:07:01,497 --> 00:07:03,833 WE ARE NOT CLOSING YOUR ACCOUNT. 253 00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:04,734 SO WE'RE JUST ASKING YOU TO 254 00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:10,039 CLOSE IT. 255 00:07:10,039 --> 00:07:13,109 >> OKAY, I'LL CLOSE IT TOMORROW! 256 00:07:13,109 --> 00:07:14,110 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 257 00:07:14,110 --> 00:07:15,611 AT SOME RATE, MIKE IS BLOWING 258 00:07:15,611 --> 00:07:17,013 THROUGH MONEY SO MUCH, I HAVE A 259 00:07:17,013 --> 00:07:18,114 FEELING THIS PROBLEM IS GOING TO 260 00:07:18,114 --> 00:07:18,648 RESOLVE ITSELF ON ITS OWN. 261 00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:22,285 [ LAUGHTER ] 262 00:07:22,285 --> 00:07:24,721 NOTHING CAN STOP THIS MAN'S 263 00:07:24,721 --> 00:07:26,456 CAN‐DO SPIRIT. 264 00:07:26,456 --> 00:07:27,090 THIS IS A MAN WHO TAKES LIFE'S 265 00:07:27,090 --> 00:07:27,690 LEMONS AND MAKES HATS OUT OF 266 00:07:27,690 --> 00:07:28,291 THEM. 267 00:07:28,291 --> 00:07:28,591 [ LAUGHTER ] 268 00:07:28,591 --> 00:07:29,225 AND HIS LATEST BUSINESS VENTURE 269 00:07:29,225 --> 00:07:31,494 MIGHT BE HIS BEST IDEA YET. 270 00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:34,097 >> HELLO, I'M MIKE LINDELL, 271 00:07:34,097 --> 00:07:35,498 INVENTOR OF MY PILLOW. 272 00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:37,400 WITH AN EXCITING NEW BUSINESS 273 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,736 VENTURE I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL YOU 274 00:07:39,736 --> 00:07:40,069 ABOUT. 275 00:07:40,069 --> 00:07:41,704 AFTER YEARS OF SEARCHING, I JUST 276 00:07:41,704 --> 00:07:43,673 COULDN'T FIND THE RIGHT 277 00:07:43,673 --> 00:07:45,375 FINANCIAL INSTITUTION TO FIT MY 278 00:07:45,375 --> 00:07:48,211 NEEDS, ON ACCOUNT OF MY TIES TO 279 00:07:48,211 --> 00:07:49,746 SEDITIONISTS AND ATTEMPTS TO 280 00:07:49,746 --> 00:07:51,147 OVERTURN A U. S. ELECTION. 281 00:07:51,147 --> 00:07:53,282 SO I MADE A BANK OF MY OWN. 282 00:07:53,282 --> 00:07:57,487 I CALL IT MYBANK. 283 00:07:57,487 --> 00:07:59,155 MYBANK IS A DIFFERENT KIND OF 284 00:07:59,155 --> 00:08:00,323 BANK, WHERE WE TRUST OUR 285 00:08:00,323 --> 00:08:05,194 CUSTOMERS SO MUCH, WE GOT LOOSE 286 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:05,395 PENS. 287 00:08:05,395 --> 00:08:06,262 SEE NO CHAINS ON THEM. 288 00:08:06,262 --> 00:08:08,531 ONE TIME I GOT MYSELF ALL 289 00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:10,233 TANGLED UP IN ONE OF THESE DARN 290 00:08:10,233 --> 00:08:11,000 THINGS AND DAMN NEAR STRANGLED 291 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,736 MYSELF. 292 00:08:13,736 --> 00:08:14,070 OH! 293 00:08:14,070 --> 00:08:15,905 BANKING WITH MYBANK IS EASY. 294 00:08:15,905 --> 00:08:17,640 JUST PUT YOUR CASH IN AN 295 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,476 ENVELOPE AND MAIL TO IT MYBANK 296 00:08:20,476 --> 00:08:30,653 AT 1121122TEEN1122, MONEY THAT 297 00:08:30,653 --> 00:08:34,023 TONKA, MINNESOTA, 11221111. 298 00:08:34,023 --> 00:08:37,260 ONCE WE RECEIVE YOUR DOUGH IT 299 00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:37,860 WILL BE STUFFED INTO ONE OF 300 00:08:37,860 --> 00:08:41,130 THESE LUXURIOUS COTTON CASES. 301 00:08:41,130 --> 00:08:42,799 HOLY HELL, FEEL THAT SATEEN 302 00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:43,032 WEAVE. 303 00:08:43,032 --> 00:08:47,236 CAREFULLY ACCOUNTED FOR BY MY 304 00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:48,871 NEPHEW JUNO. 305 00:08:48,871 --> 00:08:50,406 DON'T WORRY ABOUT SECURITY, NO 306 00:08:50,406 --> 00:08:51,908 ONE WOULD DARRON US BECAUSE THIS 307 00:08:51,908 --> 00:08:53,576 WHOLE PLACE IS RIGGED TO BLOW. 308 00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:55,144 BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. 309 00:08:55,144 --> 00:08:59,782 WE GOT SAFE DEPOSIT BOXES TO 310 00:08:59,782 --> 00:09:00,283 PROTECT YOUR PRICELESS 311 00:09:00,283 --> 00:09:02,552 COLLECTIONS OF CHEWING GUM AND 312 00:09:02,552 --> 00:09:02,885 KITTEN TEETH. 313 00:09:02,885 --> 00:09:04,954 AND MYBANK IS THE FIRST 314 00:09:04,954 --> 00:09:06,222 FINANCIAL INSTITUTION TO DEAL 315 00:09:06,222 --> 00:09:07,590 DIRECTLY IN HUMAN SPERM. 316 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:10,426 JUST FILL UP A JUG AND WE'LL 317 00:09:10,426 --> 00:09:12,428 SAFE YOUR BABY GRAVY TO ENSURE 318 00:09:12,428 --> 00:09:13,996 MANY FUTURE GENERATIONS OF 319 00:09:13,996 --> 00:09:18,301 PATRIOTIC CAUCASIAN AMERICANS. 320 00:09:18,301 --> 00:09:19,735 MYBANK IS PROUDLY NOT BACKED BY 321 00:09:19,735 --> 00:09:23,106 THE FDIC BECAUSE WE DON'T NEED 322 00:09:23,106 --> 00:09:24,140 NO STINKING GOVERNMENT SNIFFING 323 00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:25,274 AROUND OUR LOOT. 324 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:27,443 VOID WHERE PROHIBITED. 325 00:09:27,443 --> 00:09:28,377 MYBANK NOT BE RESPONSIBLE IF 326 00:09:28,377 --> 00:09:31,214 YOUR MONEY IS STOLEN OR WET. 327 00:09:31,214 --> 00:09:37,854 SO SEND ALL YOUR DOUGH TO 328 00:09:37,854 --> 00:09:38,087 MYBANK. 329 00:09:38,087 --> 00:09:38,654 WE'RE NOT CLOWNING AROUND. 330 00:09:38,654 --> 00:09:39,555 >> CLOWNS? 331 00:09:39,555 --> 00:09:41,257 >> NO, JUNO, NO! 332 00:09:41,257 --> 00:09:42,859 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 333 00:09:42,859 --> 00:09:46,596 >> Jimmy: I LIKE IT. 334 00:09:46,596 --> 00:09:47,597 WE ARE LEARNING MORE ABOUT WHAT 335 00:09:47,597 --> 00:09:48,598 WENT DOWN IN THE AFTERMATH OF 336 00:09:48,598 --> 00:09:51,834 JANUARY 6th. 337 00:09:51,834 --> 00:09:53,136 THIS LITTLE NUGGET TELLS YOU ALL 338 00:09:53,136 --> 00:09:54,837 YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DUM 339 00:09:54,837 --> 00:09:55,438 DUMS WHO STORMED THE CAPITOL. 340 00:09:55,438 --> 00:09:57,106 ON JANUARY 7th, THE DAY AFTER 341 00:09:57,106 --> 00:09:58,341 THE RIOT, SOME OF THESE WINGNUTS 342 00:09:58,341 --> 00:09:59,876 STARTED CALLING, OF ALL PEOPLE, 343 00:09:59,876 --> 00:10:01,811 NANCY PELOSI, TO SEE IF SHE 344 00:10:01,811 --> 00:10:02,812 COULD HELP THEM FIND STUFF THEY 345 00:10:02,812 --> 00:10:04,313 LEFT BEHIND WHILE RANSACKING HER 346 00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:07,150 OFFICE. 347 00:10:07,150 --> 00:10:07,917 [ LAUGHTER ] 348 00:10:07,917 --> 00:10:08,718 THIS IS TRUE. 349 00:10:08,718 --> 00:10:09,452 ACCORDING TO CONGRESSMAN 350 00:10:09,452 --> 00:10:10,186 JAMIE RASKIN OF MARYLAND, SOME 351 00:10:10,186 --> 00:10:11,187 OF THE RIOTERS CALLED THE 352 00:10:11,187 --> 00:10:12,688 CAPITOL OFFICES TO ASK WHETHER 353 00:10:12,688 --> 00:10:14,190 THERE WAS A LOST AND FOUND 354 00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:15,191 BECAUSE THEY FORGOT THEIR PHONE 355 00:10:15,191 --> 00:10:16,392 THERE, OR THEY LEFT THEIR PURSE 356 00:10:16,392 --> 00:10:19,729 OR WHAT HAVE YOU. 357 00:10:19,729 --> 00:10:23,499 [ LAUGHTER ] 358 00:10:23,499 --> 00:10:25,735 SO RASKIN SAID LAW ENFORCEMENT 359 00:10:25,735 --> 00:10:26,369 OFFICERS GOT ON THE PHONE, TOOK 360 00:10:26,369 --> 00:10:26,969 DOWN THEIR NAMES, ADDRESSES, 361 00:10:26,969 --> 00:10:27,570 SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS, AND 362 00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:29,038 THEN USED THAT INFORMATION TO 363 00:10:29,038 --> 00:10:29,505 FIND AND ARREST THEM. 364 00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:31,440 [ LAUGHTER ] 365 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:31,974 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 366 00:10:31,974 --> 00:10:32,508 WHICH IS WONDERFUL. 367 00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:34,744 AND INTERESTING. 368 00:10:34,744 --> 00:10:36,345 IN FACT, VERY INTERESTING. 369 00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:37,380 I WANTED TO FIND OUT MORE. 370 00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:38,481 WE ASKED THE DIRECTOR OF THE 371 00:10:38,481 --> 00:10:39,248 LOST AND FOUND DEPARTMENT AT THE 372 00:10:39,248 --> 00:10:40,550 CAPITOL TO VIDEOCHAT. 373 00:10:40,550 --> 00:10:41,150 AND SHE VERY GRACIOUSLY SAID 374 00:10:41,150 --> 00:10:43,052 YES. 375 00:10:43,052 --> 00:10:43,553 SHE'S WITH US NOW. 376 00:10:43,553 --> 00:10:45,688 PLEASE WELCOME SAMANTHA SONNIG. 377 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:46,189 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 378 00:10:46,189 --> 00:10:46,389 HELLO. 379 00:10:46,389 --> 00:10:49,158 THANKS FOR SPEAKING WITH US, 380 00:10:49,158 --> 00:10:50,993 MISS SONNIG. 381 00:10:50,993 --> 00:10:51,661 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING 382 00:10:51,661 --> 00:10:52,361 ME, JIMMY. 383 00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:52,862 >> Jimmy: SO, AFTER THE 384 00:10:52,862 --> 00:10:53,462 INSURRECTION, ITEMS WERE LEFT 385 00:10:53,462 --> 00:10:54,597 BEHIND. 386 00:10:54,597 --> 00:10:55,598 >> THAT'S CORRECT, YEAH. 387 00:10:55,598 --> 00:10:56,199 >> Jimmy: HAVE THEY ALL BEEN 388 00:10:56,199 --> 00:10:56,599 CLAIMED? 389 00:10:56,599 --> 00:10:58,067 >> NO, MOST OF THE ITEMS HAVE 390 00:10:58,067 --> 00:11:00,603 NOT ACTUALLY BEEN CLAIMED. 391 00:11:00,603 --> 00:11:01,304 >> Jimmy: SO DO YOU HAVE A LIST 392 00:11:01,304 --> 00:11:02,738 OF ALL THE UNCLAIMED STUFF FROM 393 00:11:02,738 --> 00:11:03,139 THAT TIME? 394 00:11:03,139 --> 00:11:03,773 >> ACTUALLY, WE HAVE THE ITEMS 395 00:11:03,773 --> 00:11:05,074 THEMSELVES. 396 00:11:05,074 --> 00:11:08,444 >> Jimmy: GREAT! 397 00:11:08,444 --> 00:11:09,145 >> HERE IN PERSON. 398 00:11:09,145 --> 00:11:09,946 >> Jimmy: CAN WE SEE THOSE? 399 00:11:09,946 --> 00:11:12,648 >> ABSOLUTELY. 400 00:11:12,648 --> 00:11:13,115 >> Jimmy: EXCELLENT. 401 00:11:13,115 --> 00:11:13,583 >> OKAY. 402 00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:14,183 FIRST OFF, THERE ARE A LOT OF 403 00:11:14,183 --> 00:11:16,686 CARGO SHORTS. 404 00:11:16,686 --> 00:11:16,986 [ LAUGHTER ] 405 00:11:16,986 --> 00:11:19,088 LIKE SO MANY CARGO SHORTS. 406 00:11:19,088 --> 00:11:22,425 OH ‐‐ AND THIS ONE HAD A JIMMY 407 00:11:22,425 --> 00:11:24,560 DEAN'S BREAKFAST SAUSAGE. 408 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:25,294 [ LAUGHTER ] 409 00:11:25,294 --> 00:11:26,062 >> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 410 00:11:26,062 --> 00:11:27,997 >> I'M GOING TO GET HUNGRY 411 00:11:27,997 --> 00:11:28,197 LATER. 412 00:11:28,197 --> 00:11:29,732 pWE ALSO HAVE ABOUT FOUR DOZEN 413 00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:30,299 PAIRS OF OAKLEY SUNGLASSES. 414 00:11:30,299 --> 00:11:32,668 [ LAUGHTER ] 415 00:11:32,668 --> 00:11:34,270 >> Jimmy: ALL OAKLEY SUNGLASSES? 416 00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:35,671 >> ALL OAKLEY. 417 00:11:35,671 --> 00:11:36,239 >> Jimmy: WHY DO YOU THINK 418 00:11:36,239 --> 00:11:41,344 THEY'RE ALL OAKLEY SUNGLASSES? 419 00:11:41,344 --> 00:11:41,944 >> I THINK OAKLEY SUNGLASSES 420 00:11:41,944 --> 00:11:42,812 MAKE A STATEMENT. 421 00:11:42,812 --> 00:11:43,446 AND THAT STATEMENT IS, "I'M THE 422 00:11:43,446 --> 00:11:44,013 COACH OF THIS TEE BALL TEAM. 423 00:11:44,013 --> 00:11:44,614 AND IF MY SON STRIKES OUT, I 424 00:11:44,614 --> 00:11:46,182 WILL SPIT IN AN UMPIRE'S FACE." 425 00:11:46,182 --> 00:11:46,482 [ LAUGHTER ] 426 00:11:46,482 --> 00:11:48,584 >> Jimmy: OKAY. 427 00:11:48,584 --> 00:11:48,851 ALL RIGHT. 428 00:11:48,851 --> 00:11:51,020 WHAT ELSE YOU GOT IN THE BOX? 429 00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:51,887 >> WE HAVE THIS FUR HAT, WHICH 430 00:11:51,887 --> 00:11:54,090 IS KIND OF COOL. 431 00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:56,392 I THINK IT'S MADE OUT OF 432 00:11:56,392 --> 00:11:59,362 BUFFALO, WHICH IS AWESOME. 433 00:11:59,362 --> 00:12:03,599 LOOK, I'M JAMIROQUI! 434 00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:05,301 >> Jimmy: I THINK THOSE MIGHT BE 435 00:12:05,301 --> 00:12:06,469 UNDERPANTS YOU HAVE ON YOUR 436 00:12:06,469 --> 00:12:06,669 HEAD. 437 00:12:06,669 --> 00:12:08,804 >> OH ‐‐ GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT, 438 00:12:08,804 --> 00:12:09,605 THEY'RE UNDERPANTS. 439 00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:10,039 >> Jimmy: GROSS. 440 00:12:10,039 --> 00:12:11,073 >> SO SILLY. 441 00:12:11,073 --> 00:12:11,941 >> Jimmy: THAT'S PRETTY GROSS. 442 00:12:11,941 --> 00:12:13,576 >> THEY'RE STILL A LITTLE WET. 443 00:12:13,576 --> 00:12:13,943 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 444 00:12:13,943 --> 00:12:17,413 >> LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE. 445 00:12:17,413 --> 00:12:19,815 WE HAVE THESE TRUCK NUTZ. 446 00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:20,116 [ LAUGHTER ] 447 00:12:20,116 --> 00:12:21,717 WE HAVE THIS MONSTER ENERGY 448 00:12:21,717 --> 00:12:24,253 DRINK THAT'S TURNED INTO A PCP 449 00:12:24,253 --> 00:12:24,687 PIPE. 450 00:12:24,687 --> 00:12:24,987 [ LAUGHTER ] 451 00:12:24,987 --> 00:12:25,354 >> Jimmy: COOL. 452 00:12:25,354 --> 00:12:25,821 >> WE HAVE ‐‐ OH, GOD. 453 00:12:25,821 --> 00:12:28,391 THIS IS SOMETHING. 454 00:12:28,391 --> 00:12:29,625 WE HAVE CONFEDERATE FLAG JESUS. 455 00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:30,092 >> Jimmy: OKAY, YEAH. 456 00:12:30,092 --> 00:12:33,929 [ LAUGHTER ] 457 00:12:33,929 --> 00:12:35,731 >> FOR ALL YOU HISTORY BUFFS OUT 458 00:12:35,731 --> 00:12:38,000 THERE, WE HAVE AN ARREST WARRANT 459 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,037 FOR MR. MICHAEL PENCE. 460 00:12:41,037 --> 00:12:41,671 [ LAUGHTER ] 461 00:12:41,671 --> 00:12:43,806 >> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT HOW YOU 462 00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:46,175 SPELL ARREST, WARRANT, OR PENCE, 463 00:12:46,175 --> 00:12:46,842 ACTUALLY, EITHER. 464 00:12:46,842 --> 00:12:48,244 >> IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS. 465 00:12:48,244 --> 00:12:48,644 >> Jimmy: TRUE. 466 00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:49,412 >> WHAT ELSE DID THESE [ BLEEP ] 467 00:12:49,412 --> 00:12:53,449 LEAVE IN HERE? 468 00:12:53,449 --> 00:12:56,585 LET'S SEE. 469 00:12:56,585 --> 00:12:58,421 WE HAVE A BILL GATES VOODOO 470 00:12:58,421 --> 00:13:00,022 DOLL. 471 00:13:00,022 --> 00:13:01,290 WE HAVE A BASS PRO SHOP THONG 472 00:13:01,290 --> 00:13:02,158 FOR THE LADIES OUT THERE. 473 00:13:02,158 --> 00:13:02,458 [ LAUGHTER ] 474 00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:04,260 THAT'S KIND OF FUN. 475 00:13:04,260 --> 00:13:05,194 WE HAVE A WALLET CHAIN WITH A 476 00:13:05,194 --> 00:13:08,998 WALLET. 477 00:13:08,998 --> 00:13:12,201 A JIMMY BUFFETT BELT BUCKLE. 478 00:13:12,201 --> 00:13:13,536 WE HAVE THIS PICTURE THAT SAYS 479 00:13:13,536 --> 00:13:14,170 "I HEART GRANDDAUGHTER" WITH A 480 00:13:14,170 --> 00:13:15,905 PICTURE ‐‐ 481 00:13:15,905 --> 00:13:17,473 >> Jimmy: HOLD IT, IT LOOKS LIKE 482 00:13:17,473 --> 00:13:17,707 YOU. 483 00:13:17,707 --> 00:13:18,874 IN FACT, IT'S EVEN WEARING THE 484 00:13:18,874 --> 00:13:19,442 SAME THING YOU'RE WEARING. 485 00:13:19,442 --> 00:13:20,810 >> WHY ‐‐ 486 00:13:20,810 --> 00:13:21,844 >> Jimmy: IT HAS A MICROPHONE 487 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:22,378 ON, AS FAR AS I CAN TELL. 488 00:13:22,378 --> 00:13:22,812 [ LAUGHTER ] 489 00:13:22,812 --> 00:13:26,082 >> UM ‐‐ CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME A 490 00:13:26,082 --> 00:13:26,315 SECOND? 491 00:13:26,315 --> 00:13:26,716 JUST ONE SECOND. 492 00:13:26,716 --> 00:13:28,351 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 493 00:13:28,351 --> 00:13:28,951 >> JUST HAVE TO MAKE A PHONE 494 00:13:28,951 --> 00:13:29,151 CALL. 495 00:13:29,151 --> 00:13:30,786 >> Jimmy: OKAY. 496 00:13:30,786 --> 00:13:34,690 EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 497 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:37,727 >> HI, MAMAW, IT'S SAMANTHA, 498 00:13:37,727 --> 00:13:37,993 UH‐HUH. 499 00:13:37,993 --> 00:13:39,362 YEAH, NO, I'M GOOD. 500 00:13:39,362 --> 00:13:41,130 NO, HE DIED, MAMAW. 501 00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:43,132 HE DIED A LONG TIME AGO. 502 00:13:43,132 --> 00:13:43,766 LISTEN, WHAT WERE YOU DOING ON 503 00:13:43,766 --> 00:13:48,104 JANUARY 6th LAST YEAR? 504 00:13:48,104 --> 00:13:50,473 MAMAW, NO, I'M NOT WITH NANCY 505 00:13:50,473 --> 00:13:50,706 PELOSI. 506 00:13:50,706 --> 00:13:53,275 YOU CANNOT USE THE "C" WORD, 507 00:13:53,275 --> 00:13:56,245 MAMAW, I'M ON TV ‐‐ 508 00:13:56,245 --> 00:13:56,545 [ LAUGHTER ] 509 00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:58,047 >> Jimmy: THIS SOUNDS PERSONAL, 510 00:13:58,047 --> 00:13:59,915 I'M GOING TO LET YOU DEAL WITH 511 00:13:59,915 --> 00:14:00,116 THAT. 512 00:14:00,116 --> 00:14:00,850 THANK YOU, SAMANTHA. 513 00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:03,619 >> I THINK I FOUND YOUR 514 00:14:03,619 --> 00:14:04,453 UNDERWEAR HERE. 515 00:14:04,453 --> 00:14:04,754 [ LAUGHTER ] 516 00:14:04,754 --> 00:14:05,254 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 517 00:14:05,254 --> 00:14:06,188 >> Jimmy: OH MY GOD. 518 00:14:06,188 --> 00:14:06,789 WELL, WE HAVE A FINE SHOW FOR 519 00:14:06,789 --> 00:14:10,459 YOU TONIGHT. 520 00:14:10,459 --> 00:14:11,227 FROM "HOW I MET YOUR FATHER," 521 00:14:11,227 --> 00:14:11,694 FRANCIA RAISA IS HERE. 522 00:14:11,694 --> 00:14:12,194 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 523 00:14:12,194 --> 00:14:13,095 WE HAVE MUSIC FROM JOY OLADOKUN. 524 00:14:13,095 --> 00:14:13,696 AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 525 00:14:13,696 --> 00:14:15,164 ROB LOWE. 526 00:14:15,164 --> 00:14:18,834 SO STICK AROUND! 527 00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:19,335 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 528 00:14:19,335 --> 00:14:19,468 ♪ 529 00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:25,197 >> Jimmy: TONIGHT, FROM THE NEW 530 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,372 SHOW "HOW I MET YOUR FATHER," 531 00:14:27,372 --> 00:14:28,272 WHICH YOU CAN SEE ON HULU, 532 00:14:28,272 --> 00:14:29,407 FRANCIA RAISA IS WITH US. 533 00:14:29,407 --> 00:14:32,110 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 534 00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:33,611 THEN LATER, SHE IS A TALENTED 535 00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:34,846 SINGER‐SONGWRITER FROM 536 00:14:34,846 --> 00:14:35,847 CASA GRANDE, ARIZONA. 537 00:14:35,847 --> 00:14:36,848 HER ALBUM IS CALLED "IN DEFENSE 538 00:14:36,848 --> 00:14:38,616 OF MY OWN HAPPINESS." 539 00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:40,485 MUSIC FROM JOY OLADOKUN. 540 00:14:40,485 --> 00:14:42,987 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 541 00:14:42,987 --> 00:14:44,989 TOMORROW NIGHT, RACHEL BROSNAHAN 542 00:14:44,989 --> 00:14:46,491 AND ERIC ANDRE WILL JOIN US, 543 00:14:46,491 --> 00:14:47,759 WITH MUSIC FROM DAMON ALBARN. 544 00:14:47,759 --> 00:14:48,793 AND ON THURSDAY NIGHT, 545 00:14:48,793 --> 00:14:50,027 JASON BATEMAN, ASHLEY PARK, AND 546 00:14:50,027 --> 00:14:52,029 MUSIC FROM GHOST. 547 00:14:52,029 --> 00:14:53,030 SO PLEASE JOIN US FOR ALL THAT. 548 00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:54,298 OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN ACTOR WHO 549 00:14:54,298 --> 00:14:56,768 HAS BEEN A BELOVED PART OF OUR 550 00:14:56,768 --> 00:14:58,903 LIVES SINCE WE HAD LIVES. 551 00:14:58,903 --> 00:15:02,140 [ LAUGHTER ] 552 00:15:02,140 --> 00:15:04,809 HE HOSTS TWO PODCASTS AND PUTS 553 00:15:04,809 --> 00:15:07,612 OUT FICTIONAL FIRES IN "911: 554 00:15:07,612 --> 00:15:08,212 LONE STAR," MONDAY NIGHTS ON 555 00:15:08,212 --> 00:15:13,217 PLEASE WELCOME ROB LOWE. 556 00:15:13,217 --> 00:15:13,718 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 557 00:15:13,718 --> 00:15:26,564 ♪ 558 00:15:26,564 --> 00:15:28,032 >> Jimmy: GOOD TO SEE YOU. 559 00:15:28,032 --> 00:15:29,066 WERE YOU DRESSED AS A 560 00:15:29,066 --> 00:15:29,767 FIREFIGHTER EARLIER TODAY? 561 00:15:29,767 --> 00:15:31,235 >> I WAS. 562 00:15:31,235 --> 00:15:33,604 I DID TWO RESCUES ‐‐ I'VE SAVED 563 00:15:33,604 --> 00:15:36,007 TWO LIVES TODAY ALONE. 564 00:15:36,007 --> 00:15:36,507 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 565 00:15:36,507 --> 00:15:38,576 >> Jimmy: WOW. 566 00:15:38,576 --> 00:15:39,911 YOU'RE ALSO ‐‐ NOT ONLY ARE YOU 567 00:15:39,911 --> 00:15:42,013 SAVING LIVES, YOU'RE HOSTING TWO 568 00:15:42,013 --> 00:15:42,280 PODCASTS. 569 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,348 >> I HAVE "LITERALLY WITH ROB 570 00:15:44,348 --> 00:15:45,349 LOWE," CONVERSATIONS WITH 571 00:15:45,349 --> 00:15:45,817 INTERESTING PEOPLE. 572 00:15:45,817 --> 00:15:47,585 YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVORITE 573 00:15:47,585 --> 00:15:48,052 GUESTS I'VE HAD. 574 00:15:48,052 --> 00:15:49,487 >> Jimmy: I HAD FUN WITH YOU. 575 00:15:49,487 --> 00:15:50,955 YOU KNOW WHAT, NO ONE HAS EVER 576 00:15:50,955 --> 00:15:53,491 LET ME GO ON AND ON FOR 17 577 00:15:53,491 --> 00:15:56,327 MINUTES ABOUT MR. ROBOTO BEFORE. 578 00:15:56,327 --> 00:15:56,661 [ LAUGHTER ] 579 00:15:56,661 --> 00:15:58,229 THE STYX SONG. 580 00:15:58,229 --> 00:15:59,297 >> IF YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN 581 00:15:59,297 --> 00:16:01,199 17 MINUTES OF YOU AND I TALKING 582 00:16:01,199 --> 00:16:03,968 ABOUT "MR. ROBOTO," YOU'RE NOT 583 00:16:03,968 --> 00:16:05,036 OUR AUDIENCE. 584 00:16:05,036 --> 00:16:05,336 [ LAUGHTER ] 585 00:16:05,336 --> 00:16:06,537 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT OUR PEOPLE. 586 00:16:06,537 --> 00:16:07,939 >> YOU'RE NOT OUR PEOPLE. 587 00:16:07,939 --> 00:16:10,074 17 MINUTES ABOUT MR. ROBOTO. 588 00:16:10,074 --> 00:16:10,741 >> Jimmy: IT WAS FUN. 589 00:16:10,741 --> 00:16:11,409 >> IT WAS SO FUN. 590 00:16:11,409 --> 00:16:13,978 >> Jimmy: DO YOU TALK ABOUT MR. 591 00:16:13,978 --> 00:16:14,378 RO 592 00:16:14,378 --> 00:16:15,012 ROBOTO WITH EVERYONE? 593 00:16:15,012 --> 00:16:16,848 >> EVERYONE. 594 00:16:16,848 --> 00:16:17,582 OPRAH, BIG FAN. 595 00:16:17,582 --> 00:16:18,783 >> Jimmy: HOW MANY TIMES HAS 596 00:16:18,783 --> 00:16:20,785 OPRAH BEEN ON YOUR SHOW? 597 00:16:20,785 --> 00:16:21,285 >> TWICE. 598 00:16:21,285 --> 00:16:22,787 >> Jimmy: UNBELIEVABLE. 599 00:16:22,787 --> 00:16:23,821 HOW MANY HOT CASTS HAVE YOU 600 00:16:23,821 --> 00:16:24,021 DONE? 601 00:16:24,021 --> 00:16:26,023 >> I JUST DID MY 90th. 602 00:16:26,023 --> 00:16:26,524 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 603 00:16:26,524 --> 00:16:27,325 >> Jimmy: AND YOU'VE HAD OPRAH 604 00:16:27,325 --> 00:16:29,560 TWO TIMES? 605 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:30,561 >> COOL, RIGHT? 606 00:16:30,561 --> 00:16:31,896 >> Jimmy: HOW DO YOU GET OPEN 607 00:16:31,896 --> 00:16:33,264 RAT SECOND TIME IN THE FIRST 608 00:16:33,264 --> 00:16:35,399 TIME, YOU'VE PROBABLY KNOWN HER 609 00:16:35,399 --> 00:16:36,200 FOR YEARS. 610 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,236 YOU SIT IN HER VEGETABLE GARDEN, 611 00:16:38,236 --> 00:16:42,039 SAY I'M NOT LEAVING? 612 00:16:42,039 --> 00:16:42,840 >> THIS IS HOW YOU'VE DONE 613 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,442 HOWEVER MANY SHOWS YOU'VE DONE, 614 00:16:44,442 --> 00:16:45,576 YOU THINK LIKE A PRODUCER. 615 00:16:45,576 --> 00:16:46,611 SHE'S MY NEIGHBOR. 616 00:16:46,611 --> 00:16:47,678 YOU ASK HER, SHE DOESN'T GET 617 00:16:47,678 --> 00:16:48,346 BACK TO YOU. 618 00:16:48,346 --> 00:16:50,615 YOU ASK HER, SHE REFERS YOU TO 619 00:16:50,615 --> 00:16:50,882 STEDMAN. 620 00:16:50,882 --> 00:16:51,382 >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY? 621 00:16:51,382 --> 00:16:54,752 >> YOU ASK HER, SHE ASKS GAYLE. 622 00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:56,521 YOU ASK HER, SHE GIVES YOU THE 623 00:16:56,521 --> 00:16:57,221 COLD SHOULDER AGAIN. 624 00:16:57,221 --> 00:16:58,689 THEN YOU EGG HER HOUSE. 625 00:16:58,689 --> 00:16:59,190 [ LAUGHTER ] 626 00:16:59,190 --> 00:17:00,191 AND SHE SAYS YES. 627 00:17:00,191 --> 00:17:01,492 >> Jimmy: CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU 628 00:17:01,492 --> 00:17:02,927 EGGED OPRAH'S HOUSE? 629 00:17:02,927 --> 00:17:03,327 OH MAN. 630 00:17:03,327 --> 00:17:05,429 >> FIRST OF ALL, YOU'D HAVE TO 631 00:17:05,429 --> 00:17:08,933 HAVE AN ARM OF AARON RODGERS TO 632 00:17:08,933 --> 00:17:10,935 GET IT FROM THE STREET TO THE 633 00:17:10,935 --> 00:17:11,469 HOUSE. 634 00:17:11,469 --> 00:17:11,769 [ LAUGHTER ] 635 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,437 >> Jimmy: YES, THE SUSPECT LIST 636 00:17:13,437 --> 00:17:16,173 WOULD BE PRETTY SMALL. 637 00:17:16,173 --> 00:17:17,642 ALSO, A VOLCANO WOULD OPEN UNDER 638 00:17:17,642 --> 00:17:18,276 YOUR HOME OR SOMETHING LIKE 639 00:17:18,276 --> 00:17:18,476 THAT. 640 00:17:18,476 --> 00:17:19,110 >> YEAH, YEAH. 641 00:17:19,110 --> 00:17:20,645 >> Jimmy: OPRAH TWO TIMES. 642 00:17:20,645 --> 00:17:23,548 >> PEOPLE I KNOW AND LOVE, 643 00:17:23,548 --> 00:17:25,116 McCONAUGHEY, GWYNETH PALTROW, 644 00:17:25,116 --> 00:17:26,751 MAGIC JOHNSON. 645 00:17:26,751 --> 00:17:27,685 >> Jimmy: CHARLES BARKLEY? 646 00:17:27,685 --> 00:17:29,120 >> CHARLES BARKLEY. 647 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,455 MUSIC, LINDSAY BUCKINGHAM OF 648 00:17:31,455 --> 00:17:32,990 FLEETWOOD MAC AND I GET TO NERD 649 00:17:32,990 --> 00:17:33,190 OUT. 650 00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:33,624 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 651 00:17:33,624 --> 00:17:36,527 >> KENNY LOGGINS. 652 00:17:36,527 --> 00:17:39,630 I'M LIKE, WHY DON'T YOU JUST USE 653 00:17:39,630 --> 00:17:41,265 MICHAEL McDONALD FOR EVERY 654 00:17:41,265 --> 00:17:42,600 BACKGROUND VOCAL YOU EVER HAD? 655 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,802 >> Jimmy: WHY WOULDN'T YOU? 656 00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:45,102 [ APPLAUSE ] 657 00:17:45,102 --> 00:17:47,204 I HAVE A FUNNY STORY ABOUT KENNY 658 00:17:47,204 --> 00:17:47,505 LOGGINS. 659 00:17:47,505 --> 00:17:48,439 SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED HERE. 660 00:17:48,439 --> 00:17:49,907 >> TELL ME, GIVE TO IT ME. 661 00:17:49,907 --> 00:17:51,108 >> Jimmy: TOM CRUISE WAS HERE. 662 00:17:51,108 --> 00:17:52,109 WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO 663 00:17:52,109 --> 00:17:54,345 HAVE KENNY LOGGINS SIT IN. 664 00:17:54,345 --> 00:17:55,546 >> "DANGER ZONE." 665 00:17:55,546 --> 00:17:56,380 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 666 00:17:56,380 --> 00:17:57,982 GUESS WHAT, THEY'D NEVER MET 667 00:17:57,982 --> 00:17:58,282 BEFORE. 668 00:17:58,282 --> 00:17:59,884 THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME THEY'D 669 00:17:59,884 --> 00:18:00,351 EVER MET. 670 00:18:00,351 --> 00:18:01,352 >> THAT'S AMAZING. 671 00:18:01,352 --> 00:18:02,787 >> Jimmy: HERE ON THE SHOW. 672 00:18:02,787 --> 00:18:04,522 >> A GREAT STORY, I SAID, HOW 673 00:18:04,522 --> 00:18:05,957 DID YOU GET YOUR MUSIC IN "TOP 674 00:18:05,957 --> 00:18:06,357 GUN"? 675 00:18:06,357 --> 00:18:07,692 I JUST ASSUMED THEY WOULD GO TO 676 00:18:07,692 --> 00:18:09,093 HIM, HE'S KENNY LOGGINS. 677 00:18:09,093 --> 00:18:09,527 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 678 00:18:09,527 --> 00:18:09,760 >> NO. 679 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:10,161 >> Jimmy: WHAT? 680 00:18:10,161 --> 00:18:12,330 >> HE HAS A SIT IN A THEATER 681 00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:14,198 WITH THE GUYS FROM JOURNEY AND 682 00:18:14,198 --> 00:18:14,498 WHITESNAKE. 683 00:18:14,498 --> 00:18:15,533 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 684 00:18:15,533 --> 00:18:17,535 >> DONNA SUMMER. 685 00:18:17,535 --> 00:18:18,636 THEY'RE ALL SCHEMING ABOUT HOW 686 00:18:18,636 --> 00:18:20,204 THEY GET THEIR SONGS IN IT. 687 00:18:20,204 --> 00:18:22,707 AND HE GOES, YOU KNOW WHAT? 688 00:18:22,707 --> 00:18:24,408 WHEN HE SAW THE VOLLEYBALL 689 00:18:24,408 --> 00:18:25,876 SCENE, HE GOES, NO ONE'S GOING 690 00:18:25,876 --> 00:18:27,111 TO WRITE A SONG FOR THE 691 00:18:27,111 --> 00:18:27,511 VOLLEYBALL SCENE. 692 00:18:27,511 --> 00:18:27,745 I WILL. 693 00:18:27,745 --> 00:18:29,513 [ LAUGHTER ] 694 00:18:29,513 --> 00:18:31,515 AND THAT'S HOW HE GOT HIS FIRST 695 00:18:31,515 --> 00:18:34,385 SONG IN, AND THEN "DANGER ZONE." 696 00:18:34,385 --> 00:18:38,322 THE LEAD SINGER CANCELED AND 697 00:18:38,322 --> 00:18:42,960 JOJO MARODER CALLED KENNY, SAID 698 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:43,427 YOU'RE ALREADY ON THE 699 00:18:43,427 --> 00:18:44,862 SOUNDTRACK, WILL YOU COME IN AND 700 00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:45,129 SING? 701 00:18:45,129 --> 00:18:46,664 >> Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S CRAZY. 702 00:18:46,664 --> 00:18:48,566 >> THESE ARE THE NUGGETS YOU 703 00:18:48,566 --> 00:18:48,866 GET. 704 00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:49,166 [ LAUGHTER ] 705 00:18:49,166 --> 00:18:50,801 >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD NUGGET. 706 00:18:50,801 --> 00:18:52,003 YOU HAD GWYNETH PALTROW ON THE 707 00:18:52,003 --> 00:18:52,203 SHOW. 708 00:18:52,203 --> 00:18:52,470 >> YES. 709 00:18:52,470 --> 00:18:53,337 >> Jimmy: AND YOU LEARNED 710 00:18:53,337 --> 00:18:53,971 SOMETHING VERY, VERY INTERESTING 711 00:18:53,971 --> 00:18:56,207 ABOUT HER. 712 00:18:56,207 --> 00:18:57,241 >> WHAT? 713 00:18:57,241 --> 00:18:59,410 >> Jimmy: VERY INTERESTING, 714 00:18:59,410 --> 00:18:59,910 PERSONALLY INTERESTING. 715 00:18:59,910 --> 00:19:00,611 >> ABOUT MY WIFE? 716 00:19:00,611 --> 00:19:01,512 >> Jimmy: ABOUT WHAT YOUR 717 00:19:01,512 --> 00:19:03,147 WIFE ‐‐ SHE TAUGHT YOUR WIFE ‐‐ 718 00:19:03,147 --> 00:19:05,149 YOUR WIFE TAUGHT HER? 719 00:19:05,149 --> 00:19:05,816 >> YES. 720 00:19:05,816 --> 00:19:06,517 WELL, HERE'S THE THING. 721 00:19:06,517 --> 00:19:08,285 THE GOOD NEWS IS MY WIFE DOESN'T 722 00:19:08,285 --> 00:19:09,620 WATCH ANYTHING I DO, SO SHE 723 00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:10,121 WON'T BE WATCHING THIS. 724 00:19:10,121 --> 00:19:12,289 [ LAUGHTER ] 725 00:19:12,289 --> 00:19:13,290 >> Jimmy: OKAY, RIGHT. 726 00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:15,793 >> BUT MY WIFE, WHEN GWYNETH WAS 727 00:19:15,793 --> 00:19:17,862 A LITTLE PRECOCIOUS 18‐YEAR‐OLD, 728 00:19:17,862 --> 00:19:19,864 MY WIFE WAS STILL A MAKEUP 729 00:19:19,864 --> 00:19:22,733 ARTIST ON A MOVIE THAT GWYNETH'S 730 00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:24,535 MOTHER, BLYTHE DANNER, WAS 731 00:19:24,535 --> 00:19:25,569 WORKING ON. 732 00:19:25,569 --> 00:19:26,537 GWYNETH CAME TO VISIT. 733 00:19:26,537 --> 00:19:27,805 CHERYL WOULD GIVE HER 734 00:19:27,805 --> 00:19:28,105 CIGARETTES. 735 00:19:28,105 --> 00:19:29,640 THEY'D GO OUT AND SMOKE BEHIND 736 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:30,474 THE TRAILER. 737 00:19:30,474 --> 00:19:32,977 SHE WAS LIKE A BIG SISTER TO 738 00:19:32,977 --> 00:19:34,545 GWYNETH, STILL IS. 739 00:19:34,545 --> 00:19:36,013 GWYNETH TOLD ME ON THE PODCAST, 740 00:19:36,013 --> 00:19:38,616 I HAD NO IDEA, I MUST THANK HER, 741 00:19:38,616 --> 00:19:39,817 THAT MY WIFE TAUGHT GWYNETH HOW 742 00:19:39,817 --> 00:19:43,888 TO ‐‐ HOW SHOULD WE SAY THIS ON 743 00:19:43,888 --> 00:19:44,689 NETWORK TELEVISION? 744 00:19:44,689 --> 00:19:46,590 >> Jimmy: I THINK "PERFORM ORAL 745 00:19:46,590 --> 00:19:48,159 SEX" WOULD BE THE WAY TO GO. 746 00:19:48,159 --> 00:19:50,995 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 747 00:19:50,995 --> 00:19:53,297 A VERY NICE THING FOR HER TO DO. 748 00:19:53,297 --> 00:19:58,202 >> OR AS I LIKE TO SAY, CHRIS 749 00:19:58,202 --> 00:19:59,870 MARTIN AND BRAD FELLCHUCK, 750 00:19:59,870 --> 00:20:00,671 YOU'RE WELCOME. 751 00:20:00,671 --> 00:20:00,971 [ APPLAUSE ] 752 00:20:00,971 --> 00:20:01,939 >> Jimmy: I FEEL APOLOGIES ARE 753 00:20:01,939 --> 00:20:04,709 IN ORDER TO THIS YOUNG MAN WHO 754 00:20:04,709 --> 00:20:05,976 TWEETED, AFTER READING THIS 755 00:20:05,976 --> 00:20:07,645 STORY, GWYNETH PALTROW REVEALS 756 00:20:07,645 --> 00:20:10,514 THE SEX TIPS SHE PICKED UP, 757 00:20:10,514 --> 00:20:11,582 2020'S BEEN A WILD RIDE, BUT 758 00:20:11,582 --> 00:20:14,085 THIS HAS SETTLED IT FOR ME, I 759 00:20:14,085 --> 00:20:14,785 CHOOSE DEATH BY MURDER HORNETS, 760 00:20:14,785 --> 00:20:16,754 THIS IS YOUR SON. 761 00:20:16,754 --> 00:20:17,054 [ APPLAUSE ] 762 00:20:17,054 --> 00:20:18,055 >> I DID IT. 763 00:20:18,055 --> 00:20:21,992 I DID IT. 764 00:20:21,992 --> 00:20:24,295 THAT'S NOT A VISUAL THAT THOSE 765 00:20:24,295 --> 00:20:25,463 BOYS ARE INTERESTED IN. 766 00:20:25,463 --> 00:20:25,763 [ LAUGHTER ] 767 00:20:25,763 --> 00:20:26,130 >> Jimmy: NO. 768 00:20:26,130 --> 00:20:27,598 >> I MEAN, THAT'S A ‐‐ I THINK 769 00:20:27,598 --> 00:20:28,232 THE THERAPY BILLS WILL BE COMING 770 00:20:28,232 --> 00:20:29,867 TO ME. 771 00:20:29,867 --> 00:20:31,635 >> Jimmy: YOU MENTIONED IN 772 00:20:31,635 --> 00:20:32,870 PASSING, SPEAKING TO JOHN 773 00:20:32,870 --> 00:20:34,205 STAMOS, THAT THERE WAS A TIME IN 774 00:20:34,205 --> 00:20:36,407 THE '80s WHERE YOU AND JACK 775 00:20:36,407 --> 00:20:37,842 NICHOLSON WENT ON THE ROAD WITH 776 00:20:37,842 --> 00:20:38,476 THE LAKERS. 777 00:20:38,476 --> 00:20:39,243 >> YES. 778 00:20:39,243 --> 00:20:39,977 >> Jimmy: WHAT YEAR WAS THAT, DO 779 00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:41,045 YOU REMEMBER? 780 00:20:41,045 --> 00:20:43,881 >> I FEEL SPORTS FANS WILL KNOW 781 00:20:43,881 --> 00:20:44,115 BETTER. 782 00:20:44,115 --> 00:20:44,615 IT WAS LAKERS, DETROIT 783 00:20:44,615 --> 00:20:46,083 PISTONS ‐‐ 784 00:20:46,083 --> 00:20:46,751 >> Jimmy: LIKE '87? 785 00:20:46,751 --> 00:20:49,153 >> '86, '87? 786 00:20:49,153 --> 00:20:50,921 >> Jimmy: SO YOU WENT TO ‐‐ 787 00:20:50,921 --> 00:20:52,490 >> ON THE ROAD TO DETROIT. 788 00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:53,190 >> Jimmy: JUST TO DETROIT. 789 00:20:53,190 --> 00:20:56,694 DID YOU GO ON THE TEAM PLANE? 790 00:20:56,694 --> 00:20:58,629 >> WELL, I HAD. 791 00:20:58,629 --> 00:20:58,896 YOU KNOW. 792 00:20:58,896 --> 00:21:01,766 PAT RILEY ENDED UP BARRING ME 793 00:21:01,766 --> 00:21:03,200 FROM GOING ON THE TEAM PLANE. 794 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,368 AND REALLY BARRED ME FROM 795 00:21:04,368 --> 00:21:06,570 STAYING IN THE TEAM HOTEL. 796 00:21:06,570 --> 00:21:07,671 >> Jimmy: WHY? 797 00:21:07,671 --> 00:21:09,507 WHAT DID YOU DO? 798 00:21:09,507 --> 00:21:11,509 >> WELL, JIMMY, IT WAS THE '80s. 799 00:21:11,509 --> 00:21:11,809 [ LAUGHTER ] 800 00:21:11,809 --> 00:21:12,443 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU SAYING YOU 801 00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:13,010 WERE A BAD INFLUENCE ON THE 802 00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:13,544 LAKERS? 803 00:21:13,544 --> 00:21:13,844 [ LAUGHTER ] 804 00:21:13,844 --> 00:21:17,281 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 805 00:21:17,281 --> 00:21:17,515 REALLY? 806 00:21:17,515 --> 00:21:21,719 WOW. 807 00:21:21,719 --> 00:21:22,987 >> I MEAN, WHAT A BADGE OF HONOR 808 00:21:22,987 --> 00:21:24,889 TO BE BANNED BY PAT RILEY, COME 809 00:21:24,889 --> 00:21:25,055 ON. 810 00:21:25,055 --> 00:21:26,190 >> Jimmy: YEAH, NO KIDDING. 811 00:21:26,190 --> 00:21:26,657 >> RIGHT? 812 00:21:26,657 --> 00:21:28,526 >> Jimmy: NO KIDDING. 813 00:21:28,526 --> 00:21:29,093 THAT'S CRAZY. 814 00:21:29,093 --> 00:21:29,927 >> HISTORIC. 815 00:21:29,927 --> 00:21:30,561 >> Jimmy: DO YOU REMEMBER ANY 816 00:21:30,561 --> 00:21:31,829 MOMENTS OR ANYTHING THAT YOU 817 00:21:31,829 --> 00:21:32,229 OBSERVED? 818 00:21:32,229 --> 00:21:33,464 >> IT MIGHT HAVE ‐‐ IT MIGHT 819 00:21:33,464 --> 00:21:35,399 HAVE BEEN WHEN I GAVE A PLAYER, 820 00:21:35,399 --> 00:21:37,701 WHO SHALL GO NAMELESS, A 821 00:21:37,701 --> 00:21:38,402 QUAALUDE. 822 00:21:38,402 --> 00:21:40,971 AND THEY WENT ON AN OVER 60 823 00:21:40,971 --> 00:21:43,374 SHOOTING SLUMP. 824 00:21:43,374 --> 00:21:43,841 [ LAUGHTER ] 825 00:21:43,841 --> 00:21:45,342 >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, RIGHT. 826 00:21:45,342 --> 00:21:48,312 >> I'M JUST SAYING. 827 00:21:48,312 --> 00:21:49,547 RIGHT NOW PEOPLE ARE GOOGLING 828 00:21:49,547 --> 00:21:49,713 IT. 829 00:21:49,713 --> 00:21:52,149 >> Jimmy: WAS IT REALLY OVER 60? 830 00:21:52,149 --> 00:21:54,151 >> IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, I THINK 831 00:21:54,151 --> 00:21:54,552 IT WAS OVER 32. 832 00:21:54,552 --> 00:21:54,852 [ LAUGHTER ] 833 00:21:54,852 --> 00:21:57,321 REALLY. 834 00:21:57,321 --> 00:21:59,523 >> Jimmy: WELL, IT WASN'T A. C. 835 00:21:59,523 --> 00:21:59,757 GREEN. 836 00:21:59,757 --> 00:22:01,058 >> STOP IT, YOU'RE GOING TO GET 837 00:22:01,058 --> 00:22:01,826 ME IN TROUBLE! 838 00:22:01,826 --> 00:22:03,260 >> Jimmy: IT HAS TO BE A GUARD 839 00:22:03,260 --> 00:22:05,529 BECAUSE NOBODY COULD BE ‐‐ 840 00:22:05,529 --> 00:22:05,896 >> KILLING ME. 841 00:22:05,896 --> 00:22:10,334 >> Jimmy: IF YOU'RE RIGHT ‐‐ 842 00:22:10,334 --> 00:22:10,801 OIF 843 00:22:10,801 --> 00:22:16,006 THAT'S GOOD STUFF.30 ‐‐ WOW, ‐ 844 00:22:16,006 --> 00:22:16,640 >> THAT'S WHAT'S FUN ABOUT DOING 845 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:17,074 THE PODCAST. 846 00:22:17,074 --> 00:22:18,209 WHERE ELSE ARE THOSE STORIES 847 00:22:18,209 --> 00:22:19,076 GOING TO COME UP? 848 00:22:19,076 --> 00:22:20,077 >> Jimmy: NOBODY HAS BETTER 849 00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:21,145 STORIES THAN YOU DO, REALLY. 850 00:22:21,145 --> 00:22:23,047 WHEN WE COME BACK, ROB LOWE HAS 851 00:22:23,047 --> 00:22:24,615 MORE WONDERFUL STORIES ABOUT 852 00:22:24,615 --> 00:22:26,183 QUAALUDES AND THE LAKERS AND 853 00:22:26,183 --> 00:22:28,786 ORAL SEX WHEN WE COME BACK. 854 00:22:34,091 --> 00:22:39,797 >>> THAT'S BETWEEN YOU AND THEM. 855 00:22:39,797 --> 00:22:40,531 NOT MY PROBLEM. 856 00:22:40,531 --> 00:22:42,466 I'M GOING TO MAKE A LITTLE 857 00:22:42,466 --> 00:22:43,734 DONATION TO YOUR HEALTH FUND AND 858 00:22:43,734 --> 00:22:44,201 BE ON MY WAY. 859 00:22:44,201 --> 00:22:51,175 YOU CAN KEEP THE BLANKET. 860 00:22:51,175 --> 00:22:58,015 [ DISCUSSION IN SPANISH ] 861 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,356 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]p>> Jimm 862 00:23:05,356 --> 00:23:06,123 ASS‐KICKING FIREFIGHTER RIGHT 863 00:23:06,123 --> 00:23:06,390 THERE. 864 00:23:06,390 --> 00:23:08,325 ROB LOWE IS BACK. 865 00:23:08,325 --> 00:23:11,295 THAT IS "911: LONE STAR." 866 00:23:11,295 --> 00:23:11,962 >> HEAD BUTT! 867 00:23:11,962 --> 00:23:13,097 >> Jimmy: I WAS NOT EXPECTING 868 00:23:13,097 --> 00:23:14,231 THAT AT ALL, NOT EXPECTING THE 869 00:23:14,231 --> 00:23:14,698 HEAD BUTT. 870 00:23:14,698 --> 00:23:19,803 >> Jimmy: NOR WAS HE, OBVIOUSLY. 871 00:23:19,803 --> 00:23:20,971 >> HE'S A COYOTE AND THOSE 872 00:23:20,971 --> 00:23:22,006 PEOPLE NEEDED HELP. 873 00:23:22,006 --> 00:23:24,341 >> Jimmy: IF THERE'S ONE THING 874 00:23:24,341 --> 00:23:25,276 YOU HATE, IT'S COYOTES. 875 00:23:25,276 --> 00:23:26,410 >> AND HUMAN TRAFFICKING, WON'T 876 00:23:26,410 --> 00:23:27,411 STAND FOR IT. 877 00:23:27,411 --> 00:23:28,078 >> Jimmy: DO YOU THINK YOU COULD 878 00:23:28,078 --> 00:23:29,313 ARE YOU COULD PUT OUT A FIRE IF 879 00:23:29,313 --> 00:23:30,481 THERE WAS ONE ON THE SET? 880 00:23:30,481 --> 00:23:33,484 >> BRO, CAN FAKE HELP IN ALMOST 881 00:23:33,484 --> 00:23:34,551 ANY AREA YOU WANT. 882 00:23:34,551 --> 00:23:34,852 [ LAUGHTER ] 883 00:23:34,852 --> 00:23:35,986 >> Jimmy: ARE THERE GUYS AROUND 884 00:23:35,986 --> 00:23:37,254 FOR SITUATIONS LIKE THAT? 885 00:23:37,254 --> 00:23:39,290 >> THE THING IS WITH ACTORS, YOU 886 00:23:39,290 --> 00:23:40,791 FAKE‐LEARN HOW TO LOOK LIKE YOU 887 00:23:40,791 --> 00:23:43,560 KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN 888 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,629 SOME ‐‐ IF GOD FORBID SOMEONE 889 00:23:45,629 --> 00:23:46,664 WERE TO GET SICK IN THE 890 00:23:46,664 --> 00:23:48,799 AUDIENCE, I COULD LOOK LIKE I 891 00:23:48,799 --> 00:23:49,767 WAS HELPING THEM, YOU'D BE 892 00:23:49,767 --> 00:23:50,834 AMAZED. 893 00:23:50,834 --> 00:23:51,135 [ LAUGHTER ] 894 00:23:51,135 --> 00:23:51,902 YOU DON'T ACTUALLY WANT ME 895 00:23:51,902 --> 00:23:53,070 PUTTING OUT A FIRE. 896 00:23:53,070 --> 00:23:53,671 >> Jimmy: I SEE. 897 00:23:53,671 --> 00:23:56,006 YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO PERFORM 898 00:23:56,006 --> 00:23:58,175 CPR OR ANY OF THOSE THINGS? 899 00:23:58,175 --> 00:24:00,210 >> LOOK, I COULD PROBABLY DO 900 00:24:00,210 --> 00:24:00,611 CPR. 901 00:24:00,611 --> 00:24:02,546 ACTUALLY, YOU DO KNOW A TON. 902 00:24:02,546 --> 00:24:08,052 IT'S SURPRISING, THE LEVEL OF 903 00:24:08,052 --> 00:24:08,319 KNOWLEDGE. 904 00:24:08,319 --> 00:24:09,019 IT DOES HELP IN LIFE IF YOU EVER 905 00:24:09,019 --> 00:24:10,187 RUN UP AGAINST THAT STUFF. 906 00:24:10,187 --> 00:24:11,622 LIKE THAT THAT'S A FAKE FIGHT. 907 00:24:11,622 --> 00:24:12,156 I DIDN'T HIT HIM. 908 00:24:12,156 --> 00:24:12,589 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 909 00:24:12,589 --> 00:24:15,025 >> SO MY BIGGEST FEAR IS, I EVER 910 00:24:15,025 --> 00:24:17,394 GET IN A FIGHT, I'M GOING TO 911 00:24:17,394 --> 00:24:18,295 PURPOSELY MISS EVERYBODY BY 912 00:24:18,295 --> 00:24:20,764 THREE INCHES AND GET KILLED. 913 00:24:20,764 --> 00:24:21,065 [ LAUGHTER ] 914 00:24:21,065 --> 00:24:22,099 >> Jimmy: YOUR SON, JOHNNY, A 915 00:24:22,099 --> 00:24:23,000 WRITER ON THE SHOW? 916 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:23,300 >> YES. 917 00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:24,601 >> Jimmy: YOUR BROTHER, CHAD, 918 00:24:24,601 --> 00:24:25,536 DIRECTS SOME OF THE EPISODES? 919 00:24:25,536 --> 00:24:26,236 >> YES. 920 00:24:26,236 --> 00:24:27,404 >> Jimmy: HOW DOES THAT ‐‐ HE'S 921 00:24:27,404 --> 00:24:28,973 YOUR LITTLE BROTHER, DO YOU TAKE 922 00:24:28,973 --> 00:24:29,907 DIRECTION FROM YOUR LITTLE 923 00:24:29,907 --> 00:24:30,140 BROTHER? 924 00:24:30,140 --> 00:24:31,542 >> HE KNOWS ENOUGH TO APPROACH 925 00:24:31,542 --> 00:24:33,877 ME CORRECTLY. 926 00:24:33,877 --> 00:24:34,979 >> Jimmy: I SEE, OKAY. 927 00:24:34,979 --> 00:24:35,879 YOU COULD ALMOST PUNCH HIM. 928 00:24:35,879 --> 00:24:37,081 >> I'D PUNCH HIM, IT'S REALLY 929 00:24:37,081 --> 00:24:38,949 PUNCH HIM. 930 00:24:38,949 --> 00:24:39,917 BUT IT IS KIND OF LIKE ‐‐ I 931 00:24:39,917 --> 00:24:41,251 NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT AS AN 932 00:24:41,251 --> 00:24:42,653 8‐YEAR‐OLD IN OHIO, WANTING TO 933 00:24:42,653 --> 00:24:44,621 BE AN ACTOR, WANTING TO COME OUT 934 00:24:44,621 --> 00:24:47,191 HERE THAT THERE WOULD COME A DAY 935 00:24:47,191 --> 00:24:49,026 WHERE I'D BE, YOU KNOW, THE LEAD 936 00:24:49,026 --> 00:24:50,561 ON THE SHOW DIRECTED BY MY 937 00:24:50,561 --> 00:24:52,663 BROTHER, WRITTEN BY MY SON. 938 00:24:52,663 --> 00:24:53,163 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 939 00:24:53,163 --> 00:24:54,264 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S CRAZY, 940 00:24:54,264 --> 00:24:54,465 RIGHT? 941 00:24:54,465 --> 00:24:56,266 >> YEAH. 942 00:24:56,266 --> 00:24:58,969 >> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF, THIS IS 943 00:24:58,969 --> 00:25:00,637 WEEK'S "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE. 944 00:25:00,637 --> 00:25:02,139 YOU WERE ON THE COVER OF 945 00:25:02,139 --> 00:25:03,741 "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE. 946 00:25:03,741 --> 00:25:04,241 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 947 00:25:04,241 --> 00:25:05,576 "HOW I SURVIVED HOLLYWOOD." 948 00:25:05,576 --> 00:25:07,845 I FEEL IT'S TOO SOON TO MAKE 949 00:25:07,845 --> 00:25:10,047 THAT DECLARATION. 950 00:25:10,047 --> 00:25:10,347 [ LAUGHTER ] 951 00:25:10,347 --> 00:25:11,882 >> I MIGHT NOT SURVIVE THIS 952 00:25:11,882 --> 00:25:12,216 INTERVIEW. 953 00:25:12,216 --> 00:25:13,517 IT COULD END AT ANY MOMENT, I'M 954 00:25:13,517 --> 00:25:14,018 WELL AWARE. 955 00:25:14,018 --> 00:25:14,952 >> Jimmy: THIS IS YOUR MOST 956 00:25:14,952 --> 00:25:16,987 RECENT MAJOR MAGAZINE COVER. 957 00:25:16,987 --> 00:25:19,189 THIS I BELIEVE TO BE, AND 958 00:25:19,189 --> 00:25:20,057 CORECT ME IF I'M WRONG, YOUR 959 00:25:20,057 --> 00:25:22,259 FIRST MAGAZINE COVER. 960 00:25:22,259 --> 00:25:24,862 THIS IS FROM 1983, "INTERVIEW" 961 00:25:24,862 --> 00:25:25,429 MAGAZINE. 962 00:25:25,429 --> 00:25:27,231 ANDY WARHOL WAS ONE OF THE 963 00:25:27,231 --> 00:25:27,498 EDITORS. 964 00:25:27,498 --> 00:25:29,266 >> IT WAS ANDY WARHOL'S 965 00:25:29,266 --> 00:25:29,533 MAGAZINE. 966 00:25:29,533 --> 00:25:30,434 >> Jimmy: HE OWNED THIS 967 00:25:30,434 --> 00:25:30,901 MAGAZINE? 968 00:25:30,901 --> 00:25:33,037 >> OWNED IT, IT WAS HIS VISION, 969 00:25:33,037 --> 00:25:33,237 YEAH. 970 00:25:33,237 --> 00:25:34,138 >> Jimmy: DID YOU KNOW ANDY? 971 00:25:34,138 --> 00:25:34,972 >> I DID. 972 00:25:34,972 --> 00:25:38,509 I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO SPEND A 973 00:25:38,509 --> 00:25:39,276 PRETTY SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF 974 00:25:39,276 --> 00:25:40,044 TIME WITH HIM. 975 00:25:40,044 --> 00:25:42,479 MY BIGGEST ANDY MEMORY WAS, WE 976 00:25:42,479 --> 00:25:44,882 ALL WENT TO THAT FAMOUS DIANA 977 00:25:44,882 --> 00:25:46,150 ROSS CONCERT THAT GOT RAINED 978 00:25:46,150 --> 00:25:46,650 OUT. 979 00:25:46,650 --> 00:25:48,452 AFTERWARDS WE KIND OF TOOK 980 00:25:48,452 --> 00:25:49,620 SHELTER IN A RESTAURANT. 981 00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:50,821 IT WAS ONE OF THOSE RESTAURANTS 982 00:25:50,821 --> 00:25:51,655 WHERE YOU COULD DRAW ON THE 983 00:25:51,655 --> 00:25:52,089 TABLES WITH CRAYONS. 984 00:25:52,089 --> 00:25:53,690 THEY HAD THE ‐‐ 985 00:25:53,690 --> 00:25:54,725 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THE PAPER AND 986 00:25:54,725 --> 00:25:55,426 THE ‐‐ YEAH. 987 00:25:55,426 --> 00:25:59,997 >> ANDY WAS LIKE, I HAVE A GAME. 988 00:25:59,997 --> 00:26:00,798 IT'S NOT REALLY A GREAT ANDY 989 00:26:00,798 --> 00:26:02,466 WARHOL BUT YOU BELIEVED IT, 990 00:26:02,466 --> 00:26:04,368 RIGHT? 991 00:26:04,368 --> 00:26:04,668 [ LAUGHTER ] 992 00:26:04,668 --> 00:26:05,169 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 993 00:26:05,169 --> 00:26:05,836 >> Jimmy: WE'VE NEVER HAD DINNER 994 00:26:05,836 --> 00:26:06,937 WITH HIM, SEEMED PERFECT TO ME. 995 00:26:06,937 --> 00:26:08,772 >> HE'S LIKE, SO LET'S ALL DRAW 996 00:26:08,772 --> 00:26:10,908 IN SECRET, SO NO ONE CAN LOOK AT 997 00:26:10,908 --> 00:26:13,043 WHAT WE'RE DRAWING, THE BEST 998 00:26:13,043 --> 00:26:14,278 VERSION WE CAN THINK OF OF A 999 00:26:14,278 --> 00:26:17,014 [ BLEEP ]. 1000 00:26:17,014 --> 00:26:17,314 [ LAUGHTER ] 1001 00:26:17,314 --> 00:26:22,119 I WAS LIKE ‐‐ ALL RIGHT. 1002 00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:22,419 YOUNG. 1003 00:26:22,419 --> 00:26:23,921 NOW THAT'S IN MY WHEELHOUSE, YOU 1004 00:26:23,921 --> 00:26:24,388 KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 1005 00:26:24,388 --> 00:26:25,589 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU'RE LIKE, 1006 00:26:25,589 --> 00:26:26,824 WHICH KIND ARE YOU LOOKING FOR 1007 00:26:26,824 --> 00:26:27,191 HERE? 1008 00:26:27,191 --> 00:26:32,029 >> I DRAW LIKE A GYNECOLOGICAL 1009 00:26:32,029 --> 00:26:33,931 OUT OF THE "JOY OF SEX" VERSION. 1010 00:26:33,931 --> 00:26:34,965 I SHOW MINE. 1011 00:26:34,965 --> 00:26:36,266 THE OTHER PERSON SHOWS. 1012 00:26:36,266 --> 00:26:38,902 WE GET TO ANDY, HE REVEALS IT. 1013 00:26:38,902 --> 00:26:41,872 OF COURSE HE'S DRAWN A CAT. 1014 00:26:41,872 --> 00:26:42,172 [ LAUGHTER ] 1015 00:26:42,172 --> 00:26:43,273 >> Jimmy: A CAT, YEAH. 1016 00:26:43,273 --> 00:26:44,875 >> I FEEL ASHAMED AND 1017 00:26:44,875 --> 00:26:45,175 EMBARRASSED. 1018 00:26:45,175 --> 00:26:46,844 THE THING WAS, I WAS TOO YOUNG 1019 00:26:46,844 --> 00:26:47,644 AND WASN'T BOLD ENOUGH. 1020 00:26:47,644 --> 00:26:49,947 I WANTED TO TAKE ‐‐ WE SIGNED 1021 00:26:49,947 --> 00:26:50,147 IT. 1022 00:26:50,147 --> 00:26:52,182 HE SAID, NOW YOU HAVE TO SIGN IT 1023 00:26:52,182 --> 00:26:58,388 BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT ARTISTS DO. 1024 00:26:58,388 --> 00:26:59,089 AND SIGNED "ANDY WARHOL" WAS 1025 00:26:59,089 --> 00:26:59,923 SITTING ON THAT TABLE. 1026 00:26:59,923 --> 00:27:00,924 AND I WAS TOO YOUNG ASK SCARED 1027 00:27:00,924 --> 00:27:01,959 AND NAIVE TO TAKE IT. 1028 00:27:01,959 --> 00:27:03,127 >> DO YOU THINK THE BUS BOY GOT 1029 00:27:03,127 --> 00:27:03,393 IT? 1030 00:27:03,393 --> 00:27:05,229 >> I HEARD, AND HE TALKS ABOUT 1031 00:27:05,229 --> 00:27:07,331 IT IN "THE ANDY WARHOL DIARIES," 1032 00:27:07,331 --> 00:27:09,032 HE TALKS ABOUT THE STORY. 1033 00:27:09,032 --> 00:27:11,001 I HEARD THAT IT SOLD ABOUT TEN 1034 00:27:11,001 --> 00:27:13,837 YEARS AGO FOR $1.5 MILLION. 1035 00:27:13,837 --> 00:27:14,404 >> Jimmy: REALLY? 1036 00:27:14,404 --> 00:27:15,439 >> YEAH. 1037 00:27:15,439 --> 00:27:15,772 >> Jimmy: WOW. 1038 00:27:15,772 --> 00:27:17,941 AND HOW ABOUT YOUR VAGINA? 1039 00:27:17,941 --> 00:27:19,743 HOW MUCH DID THAT SELL FOR? 1040 00:27:19,743 --> 00:27:20,043 [ APPLAUSE ] 1041 00:27:20,043 --> 00:27:23,847 >> ZERO. 1042 00:27:23,847 --> 00:27:24,748 >> Jimmy: WELL, BOY. 1043 00:27:24,748 --> 00:27:25,282 YOU REALLY HAVE THE BEST 1044 00:27:25,282 --> 00:27:27,251 STORIES. 1045 00:27:27,251 --> 00:27:27,551 [ LAUGHTER ] 1046 00:27:27,551 --> 00:27:30,821 TWO PODCASTS TO TELL THEM ON. 1047 00:27:30,821 --> 00:27:32,656 >> "LITERALLY." 1048 00:27:32,656 --> 00:27:35,025 AND "PARKS AND RECOLLECTION." 1049 00:27:35,025 --> 00:27:35,526 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1050 00:27:35,526 --> 00:27:36,894 IF YOU LIKE "PARKS AND 1051 00:27:36,894 --> 00:27:37,194 RECREATION." 1052 00:27:37,194 --> 00:27:38,061 >> Jimmy: ALL THE STORIES FROM 1053 00:27:38,061 --> 00:27:38,395 THE SHOW? 1054 00:27:38,395 --> 00:27:40,497 >> ALL THE STORIES HOSTED BY 1055 00:27:40,497 --> 00:27:42,199 ALAN YANG, ONE OF THE GREAT 1056 00:27:42,199 --> 00:27:42,432 WRITERS. 1057 00:27:42,432 --> 00:27:45,035 HE AND I GO THROUGH EVERY SINGLE 1058 00:27:45,035 --> 00:27:45,302 EPISODE. 1059 00:27:45,302 --> 00:27:47,237 >> Jimmy: ALSO "911: LONE STAR" 1060 00:27:47,237 --> 00:27:49,339 MONDAY NIGHTS 8:00 ON FOX. 1061 00:27:49,339 --> 00:27:49,773 ROB LOWE, EVERYBODY! 1062 00:27:49,773 --> 00:27:51,775 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1063 00:27:51,775 --> 00:27:52,209 WE'LL BE BACK WITH 1064 00:27:52,209 --> 00:27:53,810 FRANCIA RAISA. 1065 00:27:57,152 --> 00:27:58,754 >> Lou: AND NOW ‐‐ THE MAN OF A 1066 00:27:58,754 --> 00:28:00,189 THOUSAND IMPRESSIONS! 1067 00:28:02,324 --> 00:28:05,360 >> I'M BOB, MAN OF A THOUSAND 1068 00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:05,661 IMPRESSIONS. 1069 00:28:05,661 --> 00:28:09,131 THIS IS NUMBER 3738. 1070 00:28:09,131 --> 00:28:09,765 "THIS IS ANOTHER FINE MESS AND 1071 00:28:09,765 --> 00:28:12,668 IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! 1072 00:28:12,668 --> 00:28:15,537 BZZZ, WHOO, WHOO, BZZZ, WHOO, 1073 00:28:15,537 --> 00:28:17,539 WHOO, WHOO, WHOO! 1074 00:28:17,539 --> 00:28:20,075 DON'T GIVE ME THAT LANGUAGE. 1075 00:28:20,075 --> 00:28:21,310 I SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH MASTER 1076 00:28:21,310 --> 00:28:25,748 LUKE." 1077 00:28:25,748 --> 00:28:29,251 THAT WAS C3PO AND R2D2 FROM 1078 00:28:29,251 --> 00:28:31,520 "STAR WARS." 1079 00:28:37,126 --> 00:28:38,227 >> Jimmy: HI, THERE. 1080 00:28:38,227 --> 00:28:41,363 WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW. 1081 00:28:41,363 --> 00:28:43,132 MUSIC FROM JOY OLADOKUN IS ON 1082 00:28:43,132 --> 00:28:46,368 THE WAY. 1083 00:28:46,368 --> 00:28:46,969 OUR NEXT GUEST IS A STAR OF A 1084 00:28:46,969 --> 00:28:48,303 NEW SHOW, BASED ON AN OLD SHOW, 1085 00:28:48,303 --> 00:28:48,837 THAT LIVED IN THE SAME 1086 00:28:48,837 --> 00:28:49,605 APARTMENT. 1087 00:28:49,605 --> 00:28:50,339 "HOW I MET YOUR FATHER" IS 1088 00:28:50,339 --> 00:28:50,873 STREAMING ON HULU NOW. 1089 00:28:50,873 --> 00:28:55,144 PLEASE WELCOME FRANCIA RAISA. 1090 00:28:55,144 --> 00:28:55,644 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1091 00:28:55,644 --> 00:29:09,658 ♪ 1092 00:29:09,658 --> 00:29:12,094 >> Jimmy: HOW'S IT GOING? 1093 00:29:12,094 --> 00:29:13,929 IT'S A VERY ENERGETIC WAY TO 1094 00:29:13,929 --> 00:29:14,863 ENTER A ROOM. 1095 00:29:14,863 --> 00:29:17,833 I COULD NEVER DO THAT, NOT IN A 1096 00:29:17,833 --> 00:29:18,200 MILLION YEARS. 1097 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,069 >> THERE'S MUSIC PLAYING, I FIND 1098 00:29:21,069 --> 00:29:22,538 ANY EXCUSE TO SHAKE MY 1099 00:29:22,538 --> 00:29:22,871 TAILFEATHERS. 1100 00:29:22,871 --> 00:29:25,874 >> Jimmy: DID YOU BRING A BOOK 1101 00:29:25,874 --> 00:29:26,341 IN CASE YOU GOT BORED? 1102 00:29:26,341 --> 00:29:27,509 >> I BROUGHT A BOOK JUST FOR 1103 00:29:27,509 --> 00:29:27,676 YOU. 1104 00:29:27,676 --> 00:29:29,444 YEARS AGO I WAS HOPING TO BE ON 1105 00:29:29,444 --> 00:29:30,179 THIS SHOW. 1106 00:29:30,179 --> 00:29:31,647 I'VE HAD SO MANY STORIES THAT 1107 00:29:31,647 --> 00:29:33,081 HAPPENED IN MY LIFE, CRAZY 1108 00:29:33,081 --> 00:29:33,315 STORIES. 1109 00:29:33,315 --> 00:29:34,650 MY FRIEND WAS LIKE, THIS WOULD 1110 00:29:34,650 --> 00:29:35,818 BE A GREAT JIMMY KIMMEL STORY. 1111 00:29:35,818 --> 00:29:37,386 AND I SAID, OH MY GOSH, YOU'RE 1112 00:29:37,386 --> 00:29:37,586 RIGHT. 1113 00:29:37,586 --> 00:29:39,421 YEARS WERE GOING BY AND I HAD SO 1114 00:29:39,421 --> 00:29:42,057 MANY JIMMY KIMMEL STORIES THAT I 1115 00:29:42,057 --> 00:29:43,592 HAD TO START WRITING THEM DOWN 1116 00:29:43,592 --> 00:29:46,562 IN MY JOURNAL, SO THIS IS MY 1117 00:29:46,562 --> 00:29:48,463 JIMMY JOURNAL. 1118 00:29:48,463 --> 00:29:48,964 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1119 00:29:48,964 --> 00:29:49,865 >> Jimmy: IT'S GOT MY NAME ON 1120 00:29:49,865 --> 00:29:52,301 IT, CAN I LOOK AT IT? 1121 00:29:52,301 --> 00:29:54,469 >> YOU CAN LOOK AT IT, NOT IN 1122 00:29:54,469 --> 00:29:54,636 IT. 1123 00:29:54,636 --> 00:29:56,071 >> Jimmy: IT JUST SAYS JIMMY, 1124 00:29:56,071 --> 00:29:57,072 DOESN'T SAY MY LAST NAME. 1125 00:29:57,072 --> 00:29:58,373 >> I DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU WERE 1126 00:29:58,373 --> 00:30:00,909 DIAGNOSE TO REJECT ME. 1127 00:30:00,909 --> 00:30:01,510 THIS HAPPENS IN THE INDUSTRY. 1128 00:30:01,510 --> 00:30:02,044 >> Jimmy: JUST IN CASE? 1129 00:30:02,044 --> 00:30:02,644 >> YEAH. 1130 00:30:02,644 --> 00:30:05,214 YOU GET USED TO IT. 1131 00:30:05,214 --> 00:30:06,448 IT ALWAYS HURTS. 1132 00:30:06,448 --> 00:30:07,716 BUT YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T KNOW IF 1133 00:30:07,716 --> 00:30:09,184 YOU WERE GOING TO REJECT ME. 1134 00:30:09,184 --> 00:30:10,419 BUT I DON'T LOOK AT THE FRONT 1135 00:30:10,419 --> 00:30:11,687 BECAUSE I'VE WRITTEN SO MUCH. 1136 00:30:11,687 --> 00:30:13,422 THEN I OPENED IT, AND I DID 1137 00:30:13,422 --> 00:30:14,256 WRITE YOUR NAME ON IT. 1138 00:30:14,256 --> 00:30:15,457 >> Jimmy: YOU DID? 1139 00:30:15,457 --> 00:30:15,891 HOW ABOUT THAT. 1140 00:30:15,891 --> 00:30:18,927 >> LOOK AT THE POWER OF THIS. 1141 00:30:18,927 --> 00:30:20,128 >> Jimmy: SO STRANGE, I FEEL 1142 00:30:20,128 --> 00:30:21,597 LIKE I'M A PART OF YOUR LIFE. 1143 00:30:21,597 --> 00:30:23,031 >> YOU ARE PART OF MY LIFE. 1144 00:30:23,031 --> 00:30:24,032 >> Jimmy: WHAT WIND OF STORY 1145 00:30:24,032 --> 00:30:25,734 WILL WE FIND IN THIS JOURNAL 1146 00:30:25,734 --> 00:30:26,935 WITH MY NAME ON IT? 1147 00:30:26,935 --> 00:30:29,004 >> IN THE BEGINNING I WROTE A 1148 00:30:29,004 --> 00:30:30,706 STORY, THE TIME I ENDED UP 1149 00:30:30,706 --> 00:30:33,008 TOPLESS IN A HOT TUB WITH TARA 1150 00:30:33,008 --> 00:30:33,275 BANKS. 1151 00:30:33,275 --> 00:30:35,210 >> Jimmy: THAT'S DEFINITELY A 1152 00:30:35,210 --> 00:30:38,247 JIMMY STORY, GO AHEAD. 1153 00:30:38,247 --> 00:30:38,547 [ LAUGHTER ] 1154 00:30:38,547 --> 00:30:41,717 >> TYRA AND I WERE DOING A MOVIE 1155 00:30:41,717 --> 00:30:43,719 "LIFE SIZE 2" IN 2018. 1156 00:30:43,719 --> 00:30:46,488 SHE WAS WANTING TO BOND, PLAYING 1157 00:30:46,488 --> 00:30:48,090 BFFs, SHE WAS LIKE WHY DON'T WE 1158 00:30:48,090 --> 00:30:49,324 GO TO THE SPA? 1159 00:30:49,324 --> 00:30:49,524 GREAT. 1160 00:30:49,524 --> 00:30:51,560 SHE GOES, YOU HAVE A CAR, WHY 1161 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:52,861 DON'T YOU PICK ME UP. 1162 00:30:52,861 --> 00:30:54,663 CAN YOU IMAGINE DRIVING A 1163 00:30:54,663 --> 00:30:55,464 SUPERMODEL IN YOUR CAR? 1164 00:30:55,464 --> 00:30:57,266 >> Jimmy: YEAH, NO. 1165 00:30:57,266 --> 00:30:58,100 >> IN THAT THE THAT, WHERE I 1166 00:30:58,100 --> 00:31:00,302 DIDN'T KNOW THESE STREETS AT 1167 00:31:00,302 --> 00:31:00,502 ALL. 1168 00:31:00,502 --> 00:31:01,169 >> Jimmy: WHAT KIND OF CAR DID 1169 00:31:01,169 --> 00:31:01,603 YOU HAVE? 1170 00:31:01,603 --> 00:31:03,038 >> A RENTAL, A SEDAN. 1171 00:31:03,038 --> 00:31:04,139 I DRIVE AN SUV. 1172 00:31:04,139 --> 00:31:05,607 SO A TOYOTA CAMRY? 1173 00:31:05,607 --> 00:31:07,109 I WAS LIKE, I DON'T KNOW THIS 1174 00:31:07,109 --> 00:31:08,243 CAR, I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M 1175 00:31:08,243 --> 00:31:08,443 GOING. 1176 00:31:08,443 --> 00:31:10,112 I WAS LIKE, YEAH, I'LL PICK YOU 1177 00:31:10,112 --> 00:31:10,846 UP. 1178 00:31:10,846 --> 00:31:11,146 [ LAUGHTER ] 1179 00:31:11,146 --> 00:31:11,713 NO BIG DEAL. 1180 00:31:11,713 --> 00:31:12,681 >> Jimmy: MAYBE SHE WAS OFF THE 1181 00:31:12,681 --> 00:31:13,815 BAT TRYING TO ESTABLISH THE 1182 00:31:13,815 --> 00:31:15,150 NATURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP 1183 00:31:15,150 --> 00:31:17,653 WOULD BE YOU'RE THE ONE WHO 1184 00:31:17,653 --> 00:31:18,921 PICKS HER UP, ET CETERA. 1185 00:31:18,921 --> 00:31:20,555 >> ET CETERA. 1186 00:31:20,555 --> 00:31:22,691 WELL, THEN LET'S MAYBE SHE DID 1187 00:31:22,691 --> 00:31:23,792 THIS ON PURPOSE. 1188 00:31:23,792 --> 00:31:25,027 WHAT HAPPENED WAS I PICKED HER 1189 00:31:25,027 --> 00:31:25,327 UP. 1190 00:31:25,327 --> 00:31:27,296 I'M DRIVING 10 AND 2, EYE ON THE 1191 00:31:27,296 --> 00:31:28,163 ROAD. 1192 00:31:28,163 --> 00:31:30,799 THAT'S THE ONLY TIME I'VE EVER 1193 00:31:30,799 --> 00:31:32,567 DRIVEN 10 AND 2. 1194 00:31:32,567 --> 00:31:34,569 WE GET TO THE SPA, SHE WANTED TO 1195 00:31:34,569 --> 00:31:36,071 SHOW UP AN HOUR EARLY SO WE CAN 1196 00:31:36,071 --> 00:31:37,439 GO IN THE HOT TUB. 1197 00:31:37,439 --> 00:31:38,941 WE GET TO THE LOCKERS AND SHE 1198 00:31:38,941 --> 00:31:42,644 GOES, [ BLEEP ], I FORGOT MY 1199 00:31:42,644 --> 00:31:44,313 BATHING SUIT! 1200 00:31:44,313 --> 00:31:48,150 I HAVE MINE IN MY HAND, OH MY 1201 00:31:48,150 --> 00:31:49,251 GOD, I CAN'T PRETEND I FORGOT IT 1202 00:31:49,251 --> 00:31:50,752 TOO, SHE'S LOOKING AT ME. 1203 00:31:50,752 --> 00:31:54,289 DO I LET THIS SUPERMODEL GO IN 1204 00:31:54,289 --> 00:31:56,391 THE HOT TUB BUTT NAKED, OR JOIN 1205 00:31:56,391 --> 00:31:56,591 HER? 1206 00:31:56,591 --> 00:31:58,994 I WANTED TO OFFER TO GO IN NAKED 1207 00:31:58,994 --> 00:31:59,962 BUT THAT WAS WEIRD. 1208 00:31:59,962 --> 00:32:00,329 [ LAUGHTER ] 1209 00:32:00,329 --> 00:32:01,697 "DO YOU WANT ME TO GO IN THERE 1210 00:32:01,697 --> 00:32:04,433 NAKED WITH YOU?" 1211 00:32:04,433 --> 00:32:08,437 BUT IF YOU'RE IN THERE, I'M 1212 00:32:08,437 --> 00:32:09,604 NAKED, WISH I WASN'T THE ONLY 1213 00:32:09,604 --> 00:32:10,138 ONE HERE. 1214 00:32:10,138 --> 00:32:14,209 SO I WENT HALFSIES, I WENT 1215 00:32:14,209 --> 00:32:14,443 TOPLESS. 1216 00:32:14,443 --> 00:32:15,177 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 1217 00:32:15,177 --> 00:32:16,878 >> Jimmy: IT'S GOOD TO 1218 00:32:16,878 --> 00:32:17,179 COMPROMISE. 1219 00:32:17,179 --> 00:32:18,013 >> I LOVE A COMPROMISE. 1220 00:32:18,013 --> 00:32:19,214 >> Jimmy: IT'S THE FIRST TIME 1221 00:32:19,214 --> 00:32:20,015 YOU'VE MET? 1222 00:32:20,015 --> 00:32:20,782 >> FIRST TIME. 1223 00:32:20,782 --> 00:32:24,453 >> Jimmy: TYRA BANKS IS A 1224 00:32:24,453 --> 00:32:25,020 RIDICULOUSLY, SPECTACULARLY 1225 00:32:25,020 --> 00:32:25,487 BEAUTIFUL SUPERMODEL. 1226 00:32:25,487 --> 00:32:26,788 >> AND SHE'S NAKED WHERE YOU ARE 1227 00:32:26,788 --> 00:32:27,456 AND I AM. 1228 00:32:27,456 --> 00:32:28,857 >> Jimmy: ARE PEOPLE GOING WILD? 1229 00:32:28,857 --> 00:32:31,059 OR IS THERE ANY REACTION FROM 1230 00:32:31,059 --> 00:32:31,460 THE SPA? 1231 00:32:31,460 --> 00:32:32,694 >> YOU KNOW WHAT, THERE WAS A 1232 00:32:32,694 --> 00:32:33,362 GOD OR SOMETHING. 1233 00:32:33,362 --> 00:32:35,063 WE WERE THE ONLY ONES IN THERE 1234 00:32:35,063 --> 00:32:37,165 IN THE HOT TUB AT THE MOMENT. 1235 00:32:37,165 --> 00:32:38,600 AND SO NO ONE ELSE NOTICED. 1236 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,870 BUT I'M SITTING HERE LIKE, 1237 00:32:41,870 --> 00:32:43,038 YOU'RE BUTT NAKED IN FRONT OF 1238 00:32:43,038 --> 00:32:43,338 ME. 1239 00:32:43,338 --> 00:32:44,973 SHE WAS LIKE, OH, OUR MASSAGES 1240 00:32:44,973 --> 00:32:48,810 OKAY, DO I GO FIRST? TO GET OUT.‐ 1241 00:32:48,810 --> 00:32:49,111 [ LAUGHTER ] 1242 00:32:49,111 --> 00:32:50,145 HOW DO WE DO IT? 1243 00:32:50,145 --> 00:32:50,879 SHE WENT FIRST. 1244 00:32:50,879 --> 00:32:52,381 >> Jimmy: SHE WENT FIRST, THAT'S 1245 00:32:52,381 --> 00:32:53,582 PROPER, THAT'S HOW IT'S SUPPOSED 1246 00:32:53,582 --> 00:32:53,915 TO GO. 1247 00:32:53,915 --> 00:32:55,384 >> AND I LOOKED THAT WAY. 1248 00:32:55,384 --> 00:32:55,684 [ LAUGHTER ] 1249 00:32:55,684 --> 00:32:58,387 KIND OF BEING RESPECTFUL. 1250 00:32:58,387 --> 00:32:59,755 STORIES LIKE THAT ARE IN MY 1251 00:32:59,755 --> 00:32:59,955 BOOK. 1252 00:32:59,955 --> 00:33:01,990 >> Jimmy: SHE SEEMS LIKE SHE WAS 1253 00:33:01,990 --> 00:33:02,224 RELAXED. 1254 00:33:02,224 --> 00:33:03,759 YOU WENT AND GOT A COUPLES 1255 00:33:03,759 --> 00:33:04,059 MASSAGE? 1256 00:33:04,059 --> 00:33:05,794 >> WE GOT SEPARATE MASSAGES. 1257 00:33:05,794 --> 00:33:07,462 THEN WE TOOK A NAP AFTER, 1258 00:33:07,462 --> 00:33:07,729 TOGETHER. 1259 00:33:07,729 --> 00:33:08,964 >> Jimmy: WHAT? 1260 00:33:08,964 --> 00:33:10,632 >> YEAH. 1261 00:33:10,632 --> 00:33:11,700 I MEAN, SEPARATE CHAIRS. 1262 00:33:11,700 --> 00:33:12,601 >> Jimmy: YOU TOOK A NAP 1263 00:33:12,601 --> 00:33:12,901 TOGETHER? 1264 00:33:12,901 --> 00:33:13,702 >> IT WAS HER IDEA. 1265 00:33:13,702 --> 00:33:16,071 >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE WEIRDEST 1266 00:33:16,071 --> 00:33:16,471 PART OF THE STORY. 1267 00:33:16,471 --> 00:33:19,408 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 1268 00:33:19,408 --> 00:33:20,675 >> YOU'RE TIRED AFTER A MASSAGE, 1269 00:33:20,675 --> 00:33:22,411 THAT'S ALL YOU WANT IS A NAP. 1270 00:33:22,411 --> 00:33:24,146 BEFORE I DROVE BACK, A NAP. 1271 00:33:24,146 --> 00:33:25,180 >> Jimmy: I'M INTERESTED IN YOUR 1272 00:33:25,180 --> 00:33:25,347 DAD. 1273 00:33:25,347 --> 00:33:27,349 YOUR DAD, FOR THOSE WHO DON'T 1274 00:33:27,349 --> 00:33:29,751 KNOW, PROBABLY MOST PEOPLE DON'T 1275 00:33:29,751 --> 00:33:31,453 KNOW, WAS A RADIO DEEJAY. 1276 00:33:31,453 --> 00:33:33,121 STILL WORKING AS A DEEJAY? 1277 00:33:33,121 --> 00:33:33,455 >> IN MEXICO. 1278 00:33:33,455 --> 00:33:38,794 >> Jimmy: EL CUCUHE IS THE NAME. 1279 00:33:38,794 --> 00:33:41,897 I REMEMBER SEEING SIGNS AND 1280 00:33:41,897 --> 00:33:42,497 BILLBOARDS TO EVERYTHING FOR 1281 00:33:42,497 --> 00:33:43,331 HIM ‐‐ THERE HE IS, THAT'S YOUR 1282 00:33:43,331 --> 00:33:43,565 FATHER. 1283 00:33:43,565 --> 00:33:45,033 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1284 00:33:45,033 --> 00:33:51,540 >> Jimmy: EL CUCUY MEANS 1285 00:33:51,540 --> 00:33:51,807 BOGEYMAN. 1286 00:33:51,807 --> 00:33:53,508 >> THE BOGEYMAN IN THE MORNING. 1287 00:33:53,508 --> 00:33:55,444 THEY COULDN'T SCARE ME AS A KID. 1288 00:33:55,444 --> 00:33:59,147 IF YOU DON'T GO TO SLEEP, EL 1289 00:33:59,147 --> 00:34:01,483 CUCUY IS GOING TO GET YOU. 1290 00:34:01,483 --> 00:34:04,920 I WAS LIKE, DADDY! 1291 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:05,220 [ LAUGHTER ] 1292 00:34:05,220 --> 00:34:06,021 >> Jimmy: WHAT WAS IT LIKE BEING 1293 00:34:06,021 --> 00:34:08,990 RAISED BY THE BOGEYMAN? 1294 00:34:08,990 --> 00:34:12,027 >> MY DAD WAS RAUNCHY ON HIS 1295 00:34:12,027 --> 00:34:12,294 SHOW. 1296 00:34:12,294 --> 00:34:14,129 HE WOULDN'T EXPLAIN IT TO US. 1297 00:34:14,129 --> 00:34:16,698 HE'D TALK ABOUT SEX, MY MOM AND 1298 00:34:16,698 --> 00:34:19,034 HIM WOULD HAVE BITS WITH EACH 1299 00:34:19,034 --> 00:34:20,969 OTHER, CALLING EACH OTHER ‐‐ 1300 00:34:20,969 --> 00:34:22,604 [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] 1301 00:34:22,604 --> 00:34:23,605 WHICH YOU DON'T KNOW. 1302 00:34:23,605 --> 00:34:24,906 >> Jimmy: I DO, ACTUALLY, I KNOW 1303 00:34:24,906 --> 00:34:26,041 ALL THE CURSE WORDS. 1304 00:34:26,041 --> 00:34:26,341 [ LAUGHTER ] 1305 00:34:26,341 --> 00:34:27,976 >> THEY DIDN'T TELL ME THEY WERE 1306 00:34:27,976 --> 00:34:29,845 CURSE WORDS, THEY DIDN'T EXPLAIN 1307 00:34:29,845 --> 00:34:31,012 SEX TO ME. 1308 00:34:31,012 --> 00:34:32,280 THERE WAS ONE TIME WHERE I WAS 1309 00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:32,981 AT SCHOOL. 1310 00:34:32,981 --> 00:34:34,950 THERE WAS A CONDOM, A WRAPPED 1311 00:34:34,950 --> 00:34:36,518 CONDOM, IN THE BIG YARD. 1312 00:34:36,518 --> 00:34:38,687 EVERYONE'S LIKE, OH MY GOD, A 1313 00:34:38,687 --> 00:34:38,920 CONDOM! 1314 00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:40,755 AND I WAS LIKE, YEAH, A CONDOM, 1315 00:34:40,755 --> 00:34:42,157 COOL, COOL. 1316 00:34:42,157 --> 00:34:44,326 I'M BILINGUAL, I GREW UP IN THE 1317 00:34:44,326 --> 00:34:45,861 ONLY SPANISH HOME THEY DIDN'T 1318 00:34:45,861 --> 00:34:46,661 TEACH ME THIS STUFF. 1319 00:34:46,661 --> 00:34:48,230 I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT OPENED IT. 1320 00:34:48,230 --> 00:34:49,564 OH THIS LOOKS LIKE THE BALLOON 1321 00:34:49,564 --> 00:34:51,600 ANIMALS THAT CLOWNS USE! 1322 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:51,967 SO I BLEW IT UP. 1323 00:34:51,967 --> 00:34:54,903 [ LAUGHTER ] 1324 00:34:54,903 --> 00:34:56,738 >> Jimmy: OH, YOU DID, YEAH. 1325 00:34:56,738 --> 00:34:58,006 EVERYONE LAUGHED? 1326 00:34:58,006 --> 00:34:58,640 >> AND I WAS LIKE, WHY IS THIS 1327 00:34:58,640 --> 00:34:58,840 SLIMY? 1328 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,909 [ LAUGHTER ] 1329 00:35:00,909 --> 00:35:01,610 >> Jimmy: NEVER A GOOD QUESTION, 1330 00:35:01,610 --> 00:35:01,810 YEAH. 1331 00:35:01,810 --> 00:35:04,679 [ LAUGHTER ] 1332 00:35:04,679 --> 00:35:05,714 SO THAT'S YOUR DAD. 1333 00:35:05,714 --> 00:35:06,581 >> THAT'S MY DAD. 1334 00:35:06,581 --> 00:35:07,516 >> Jimmy: THAT'S PRETTY CRAZY. 1335 00:35:07,516 --> 00:35:09,718 YOUR DAD GOT UP AT 3:00 IN THE 1336 00:35:09,718 --> 00:35:10,719 MORNING AND WENT INTO WORK? 1337 00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:12,254 >> YEAH, 5:00 A. M. 1338 00:35:12,254 --> 00:35:13,588 I NEVER SAW HIM BECAUSE OF THAT. 1339 00:35:13,588 --> 00:35:15,924 >> Jimmy: DID YOU LISTEN TO HIM 1340 00:35:15,924 --> 00:35:16,124 EVER? 1341 00:35:16,124 --> 00:35:17,993 >> I DIDN'T WANT TO, HE WAS 1342 00:35:17,993 --> 00:35:18,927 TALKING ABOUT SO MANY WEIRD, 1343 00:35:18,927 --> 00:35:19,327 NASTY THINGS. 1344 00:35:19,327 --> 00:35:20,428 >> Jimmy: RIGHT, YEAH. 1345 00:35:20,428 --> 00:35:22,797 >> HE DID MAKE ME GO TO THE 1346 00:35:22,797 --> 00:35:24,332 RADIO STATION WITH HIM 1347 00:35:24,332 --> 00:35:24,633 SATURDAYS. 1348 00:35:24,633 --> 00:35:25,667 >> Jimmy: HE HAD TO WORK 1349 00:35:25,667 --> 00:35:25,934 SATURDAYS? 1350 00:35:25,934 --> 00:35:26,968 >> MONDAY THROUGH SATURDAY. 1351 00:35:26,968 --> 00:35:28,203 >> Jimmy: THAT'S A NIGHTMARE. 1352 00:35:28,203 --> 00:35:28,570 >> YOU KNOW. 1353 00:35:28,570 --> 00:35:30,605 >> Jimmy: IT'S A DEEJAY 1354 00:35:30,605 --> 00:35:31,373 NIGHTMARE, A SATURDAY SHIFT. 1355 00:35:31,373 --> 00:35:32,207 YOU WOULD GO IN THERE ‐‐ 1356 00:35:32,207 --> 00:35:33,742 >> IT WAS A NIGHTMARE WHEN I HAD 1357 00:35:33,742 --> 00:35:35,110 DID GO IN. 1358 00:35:35,110 --> 00:35:36,211 SCHOOL MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY, 1359 00:35:36,211 --> 00:35:37,512 THEN DAD'S MAKING ME GO TO 1360 00:35:37,512 --> 00:35:40,682 SCHOOL ‐‐ NOT SCHOOL, TO WORK, 1361 00:35:40,682 --> 00:35:42,317 ON SATURDAYS, AND HE HAD ME BE 1362 00:35:42,317 --> 00:35:42,951 PART OF THE PROGRAM. 1363 00:35:42,951 --> 00:35:44,085 >> Jimmy: THAT'S GOT TO BE FUN, 1364 00:35:44,085 --> 00:35:44,286 RIGHT? 1365 00:35:44,286 --> 00:35:46,788 >> IT WAS UNTIL I GOT YELLED AT 1366 00:35:46,788 --> 00:35:49,324 BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO SOMETHING 1367 00:35:49,324 --> 00:35:49,524 RIGHT. 1368 00:35:49,524 --> 00:35:50,926 I WANT TO BE SLEEPING WATCHING 1369 00:35:50,926 --> 00:35:52,627 "RUG RATS!" 1370 00:35:52,627 --> 00:35:53,995 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO BE TOPLESS 1371 00:35:53,995 --> 00:35:55,931 IN A SPA WITH TYRA BANKS, WHAT 1372 00:35:55,931 --> 00:35:56,331 ARE YOU DOING? 1373 00:35:56,331 --> 00:35:57,933 >> I WANT TO BE ON A COUCH WITH 1374 00:35:57,933 --> 00:35:59,034 JIMMY KIMMEL, THAT'S NOT PART OF 1375 00:35:59,034 --> 00:36:02,571 MY JIMMY JOURNAL! 1376 00:36:02,571 --> 00:36:02,871 [ APPLAUSE ] 1377 00:36:02,871 --> 00:36:05,173 >> Jimmy: "HOW I MET YOUR 1378 00:36:05,173 --> 00:36:06,274 FATHER," NOBODY KNEW WHAT THE 1379 00:36:06,274 --> 00:36:07,876 CONNECTION TO "HOW I MET YOUR 1380 00:36:07,876 --> 00:36:08,777 MOTHER" WAS, RIGHT? 1381 00:36:08,777 --> 00:36:10,045 IT'S SET IN THE SAME APARTMENT. 1382 00:36:10,045 --> 00:36:10,312 >> YES. 1383 00:36:10,312 --> 00:36:12,180 >> Jimmy: IS THAT IT? pTHE EXTEN? 1384 00:36:12,180 --> 00:36:14,449 >> WE DROP A FEW EASTER EGGS 1385 00:36:14,449 --> 00:36:15,283 THROUGHOUT THE SERIES. 1386 00:36:15,283 --> 00:36:16,718 I MEAN, I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT 1387 00:36:16,718 --> 00:36:18,220 TO KNOW IT IS ITS OWN SHOW. 1388 00:36:18,220 --> 00:36:19,854 IT HAS THE SPIRIT OF THE 1389 00:36:19,854 --> 00:36:20,121 ORIGINAL. 1390 00:36:20,121 --> 00:36:21,756 BUT IT STILL FEELS ORIGINAL. 1391 00:36:21,756 --> 00:36:22,891 IT'S ALL ORIGINAL CHARACTERS. 1392 00:36:22,891 --> 00:36:24,259 BUT THE APARTMENT I GUESS WOULD 1393 00:36:24,259 --> 00:36:25,527 BE LIKE THE REBOOT. 1394 00:36:25,527 --> 00:36:27,529 THEN THERE'S THE SWORDS. 1395 00:36:27,529 --> 00:36:28,496 SO WE'RE IN THERE. 1396 00:36:28,496 --> 00:36:33,301 THERE'S A FEW OTHER ‐‐ I CAN'T 1397 00:36:33,301 --> 00:36:33,802 SAY STUFF THAT HAPPENS. 1398 00:36:33,802 --> 00:36:34,402 >> Jimmy: HILARY DUFF IS YOUR 1399 00:36:34,402 --> 00:36:34,636 COSTAR? 1400 00:36:34,636 --> 00:36:34,903 >> YES. 1401 00:36:34,903 --> 00:36:35,470 >> Jimmy: HAD YOU MET HER 1402 00:36:35,470 --> 00:36:35,704 BEFORE? 1403 00:36:35,704 --> 00:36:35,971 >> I DID. 1404 00:36:35,971 --> 00:36:36,671 >> Jimmy: YOU DID? 1405 00:36:36,671 --> 00:36:40,809 >> TEN YEARS AGO I MET HILARY AT 1406 00:36:40,809 --> 00:36:42,544 HER MOM'S HOW WAS. 1407 00:36:42,544 --> 00:36:43,645 SHE WAS NINE MONTHS PREGNANT 1408 00:36:43,645 --> 00:36:44,746 WITH HER FIRST. 1409 00:36:44,746 --> 00:36:46,581 I GET EXCITED WHEN I LEARN NEW 1410 00:36:46,581 --> 00:36:48,116 THINGS AND I HAD JUST LEARNED 1411 00:36:48,116 --> 00:36:50,151 WHAT A MUCOUS BUG WAS. 1412 00:36:50,151 --> 00:36:52,020 FIRST THING ASKED HER, HAVE YOU 1413 00:36:52,020 --> 00:36:53,555 LOST YOUR MUCOUS BUG YET? 1414 00:36:53,555 --> 00:36:53,855 [ LAUGHTER ] 1415 00:36:53,855 --> 00:36:55,790 >> Jimmy: THAT'S A HELL OF AN 1416 00:36:55,790 --> 00:36:56,024 OPENER. 1417 00:36:56,024 --> 00:36:56,858 >> YEAH, IT WAS. 1418 00:36:56,858 --> 00:36:57,492 >> Jimmy: PROBABLY GOT THAT FROM 1419 00:36:57,492 --> 00:37:01,963 EL CUCUY, I WOULD THINK. 1420 00:37:01,963 --> 00:37:02,597 >> THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING, MY 1421 00:37:02,597 --> 00:37:04,499 DAD DIDN'T TEACH ME BOUNDARIES. 1422 00:37:04,499 --> 00:37:06,234 TEN YEARS LATER, AUDITIONING FOR 1423 00:37:06,234 --> 00:37:07,302 THIS, I WAS LIKE, DO YOU 1424 00:37:07,302 --> 00:37:08,336 REMEMBER ME? 1425 00:37:08,336 --> 00:37:09,471 SHE WAS LIKE, YES, I DO. 1426 00:37:09,471 --> 00:37:10,872 I WAS LIKE, COOL, DO YOU WANT TO 1427 00:37:10,872 --> 00:37:11,373 GO TO THE SPA AND BOND? 1428 00:37:11,373 --> 00:37:17,279 [ LAUGHTER ] 1429 00:37:17,279 --> 00:37:17,579 [ APPLAUSE ] 1430 00:37:17,579 --> 00:37:18,113 >> Jimmy: NOT A BAD IDEA. 1431 00:37:18,113 --> 00:37:19,648 ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA. 1432 00:37:19,648 --> 00:37:20,849 CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SHOW, 1433 00:37:20,849 --> 00:37:21,683 "HOW I MET YOUR FATHER." 1434 00:37:21,683 --> 00:37:25,120 IT'S ON HULU RIGHT NOW. 1435 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,757 BE RIGHT BACK WITH JOY OLADOKUN! 1436 00:37:30,759 --> 00:37:33,361 >> THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE CONCERT 1437 00:37:33,361 --> 00:37:33,828 SERIES IS PRESENTED BY 1438 00:37:33,828 --> 00:37:34,162 MERCEDES‐BENZ. 1439 00:37:34,162 --> 00:37:36,798 THE BEST OR NOTHING. 1440 00:37:38,433 --> 00:37:38,967 >>> THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE 1441 00:37:38,967 --> 00:37:39,601 CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY 1442 00:37:39,601 --> 00:37:39,934 MERCEDES‐BENZ. 1443 00:37:39,934 --> 00:37:42,337 THE BEST OR NOTHING. 1444 00:37:44,739 --> 00:37:46,708 >> Jimmy: THANKS TO ROB 1445 00:37:46,708 --> 00:37:47,208 LOWE AND FRANCIA RAISA. 1446 00:37:47,208 --> 00:37:48,777 APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. 1447 00:37:48,777 --> 00:37:49,944 WE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR HIM. 1448 00:37:49,944 --> 00:37:50,578 TOMORROW NIGHT, RACHEL BROSNAHAN 1449 00:37:50,578 --> 00:37:51,212 AND ERIC ANDRE WITH MUSIC FROM 1450 00:37:51,212 --> 00:37:51,680 DAMON ALBARN. 1451 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:53,181 "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. 1452 00:37:53,181 --> 00:37:53,915 BUT FIRST, HER ALBUM IS CALLED 1453 00:37:53,915 --> 00:37:55,917 "IN DEFENSE OF MY OWN HAPPINESS" 1454 00:37:55,917 --> 00:37:56,685 WITH THE SONG "I SEE AMERICA," 1455 00:37:56,685 --> 00:37:58,853 JOY OLADOKUN! 1456 00:37:58,853 --> 00:38:02,090 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1457 00:38:03,358 --> 00:38:06,027 ♪ 1458 00:38:06,027 --> 00:38:07,595 ♪ I SAW GOD OUT 1459 00:38:07,595 --> 00:38:09,064 ON THE BLOCK TODAY ♪ 1460 00:38:09,064 --> 00:38:10,565 ♪ HE WAS DARKER THAN 1461 00:38:10,565 --> 00:38:13,568 THE PREACHERS SAY ♪ 1462 00:38:13,568 --> 00:38:15,603 ♪ WITH A TEARDROP 1463 00:38:15,603 --> 00:38:19,074 TATTOOED ON HIS FACE 1464 00:38:19,074 --> 00:38:22,344 AND DIRT ON HIS FINGERS ♪ 1465 00:38:22,344 --> 00:38:24,045 ♪ I HEARD ANGELS 1466 00:38:24,045 --> 00:38:27,048 WHEN HE LAUGHED THE WAY ♪ 1467 00:38:27,048 --> 00:38:29,317 ♪ THAT PEOPLE DO WHEN 1468 00:38:29,317 --> 00:38:32,554 THEY HAVE KNOWN TRUE PAIN ♪ 1469 00:38:32,554 --> 00:38:34,055 ♪ FOR HIS SINS I DON'T KNOW 1470 00:38:34,055 --> 00:38:36,057 WHO'S TO BLAME ♪ 1471 00:38:36,057 --> 00:38:37,792 ♪ WHAT CHOICE WAS HE GIVEN 1472 00:38:37,792 --> 00:38:39,060 IN THIS WORLD 1473 00:38:39,060 --> 00:38:41,596 THAT WE'RE LIVING ♪ 1474 00:38:41,596 --> 00:38:43,565 ♪ WHEN I SEE YOU 1475 00:38:43,565 --> 00:38:45,600 I SEE LOVE 1476 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:50,071 I SEE AMERICA ♪ 1477 00:38:50,071 --> 00:38:53,074 ♪ I FEEL YOUR PAIN 1478 00:38:53,074 --> 00:38:54,342 I SHARE YOUR BLOOD 1479 00:38:54,342 --> 00:39:00,014 I SEE AMERICA ♪ 1480 00:39:00,014 --> 00:39:08,423 ♪ 1481 00:39:08,423 --> 00:39:09,424 ♪ SAID YOUR MOTHER KNOWS 1482 00:39:09,424 --> 00:39:12,160 A DIFFERENT TIME ♪ 1483 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:13,428 ♪ SHE LETS HER TONGUE SLIP 1484 00:39:13,428 --> 00:39:16,698 WITH A GLASS OF WINE ♪ 1485 00:39:16,698 --> 00:39:17,699 ♪ AND SAYS SOME THINGS 1486 00:39:17,699 --> 00:39:18,700 OUT LOUD THAT 1487 00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:22,103 DON'T FEEL RIGHT ♪ 1488 00:39:22,103 --> 00:39:22,704 ♪ AND YOU ALWAYS 1489 00:39:22,704 --> 00:39:26,207 FORGIVE HER ♪ 1490 00:39:26,207 --> 00:39:27,709 ♪ BUT DON'T YOU SEE 1491 00:39:27,709 --> 00:39:30,545 THE WORLD IS CHANGING NOW ♪ 1492 00:39:30,545 --> 00:39:31,946 ♪ THE BLOOD OF THE FALLEN 1493 00:39:31,946 --> 00:39:35,683 CRIES OUT FROM THE GROUND ♪ 1494 00:39:35,683 --> 00:39:37,419 ♪ VIOLENCE AND RUMORS 1495 00:39:37,419 --> 00:39:40,455 IN A SOUTHERN TOWN ♪ 1496 00:39:40,455 --> 00:39:43,658 ♪ BOTH START WITH A WHISPER 1497 00:39:43,658 --> 00:39:46,961 BUT SO DOES THE DIFFERENCE ♪ 1498 00:39:46,961 --> 00:39:47,962 ♪ WHEN I SEE YOU 1499 00:39:47,962 --> 00:39:49,464 I SEE LOVE 1500 00:39:49,464 --> 00:39:53,968 I SEE AMERICA ♪ 1501 00:39:53,968 --> 00:39:54,702 ♪ I FEEL YOUR PAIN 1502 00:39:54,702 --> 00:40:04,646 I SHARE YOUR BLOOD 1503 00:40:04,646 --> 00:40:05,780 I SEE AMERICA ♪ 1504 00:40:05,780 --> 00:40:07,515 ♪ WHEN I SEE YOU I SEE LOVE I 1505 00:40:07,515 --> 00:40:13,354 SEE AMERICA ♪ 1506 00:40:13,354 --> 00:40:17,392 ♪ I FEEL YOUR PAIN I SHARE YOUR 1507 00:40:17,392 --> 00:40:22,897 BLOOD I SEE AMERICA ♪ 1508 00:40:22,897 --> 00:40:25,433 ♪ WHEN I SEE YOU I SEE LOVE I 1509 00:40:25,433 --> 00:40:30,972 SEE AMERICA ♪ 1510 00:40:30,972 --> 00:40:32,006 ♪ I FEEL YOUR PAIN 1511 00:40:32,006 --> 00:40:34,976 I SHARE YOUR BLOOD 1512 00:40:34,976 --> 00:40:46,621 I SEE AMERICA ♪