>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" WITH GUEST
HOST WANDA SYKES. TONIGHT ‐‐ CHRIS "LUDACRIS" BRIDGES,
KIM FIELDS, AND MUSIC FROM MERRY CLAYTON.
AND NOW, WANDA SYKES!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: ALL RIGHT! HELLO, EVERYONE! HELLO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WOW. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. THANK YOU FOR COMING.
I'M YOUR GUEST HOST FOR THE WEEK, WANDA SYKES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I'M FILLING IN FOR JIMMY WHILE HE'S ON "VACATION," ALTHOUGH
THERE ARE RUMORS GOING AROUND THAT HE'S ACTUALLY IN REHAB.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OKAY, I'M STARTING THE RUMOR THAT HE'S IN REHAB.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT LET'S SEE IF WE CAN GET IT GOING!
THAT'S HASHTAG "COTTON MOUTH KIMMEL."
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SEE WHAT HAPPENS. I'VE BEEN COVERING FOR LOTS OF
PEOPLE WHO ARE GETTING TIME OFF. ELLEN LAST WEEK, JIMMY THIS
WEEK. NEXT WEEK, I'LL BE FILLING IN
FOR BILL COSBY AT THE PENNSYLVANIA STATE PENITENTIARY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
DID YOU ALL HAVE A GOOD LONG WEEKEND?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I HOPE YOU HAD FUN TAKING BLURRY PICTURES OF FIREWORKS YOU'LL
NEVER LOOK AT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I KNOW I DID.
>> EVERYBODY DOING FIREWORKS. LOOK AT THAT, FIREWORKS ALL OVER.
>> Wanda: OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE. WHEN I SHOT THAT, I WAS THREE
MARGARITAS DEEP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND THOUGHT I WAS AVA DuVERNAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS YEAR, THE FOURTH OF JULY FELL ON A SUNDAY.
ALL OVER AMERICA, PEOPLE WERE SITTING IN CHURCH WEARING
STAR‐SPANGLED BOOTY SHORTS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
JUST AS THE FOUNDING FATHERS INTENDED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU MAY HAVE SEEN THIS ONLINE. FACEBOOK CEO MARK ZUCKERBERG
CELEBRATED OUR NATION'S INDEPENDENCE IN THE DORKIEST WAY
POSSIBLE.
♪ WEST VIRGINIA MOUNTAIN MAMA
♪ TAKE ME HOME COUNTRY ROAD
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: FOR SOME REASON, THAT WHO STORMED THE CAPITOL. PEOPLE‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
WASN'T EXACTLY WASHINGTON CROSSING THE DELAWARE, WAS IT?
OKAY. NOW YOU MIGHT BE SAYING, RIDING
AN ELECTRIC SURFBOARD BY YOURSELF WHILE HOLDING A FLAG IS
THE SADDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN.
BUT HE DID BRING ALONG A FRIEND.
♪ DARK AND DUSTY
>> Guillermo: SORRY, DUDE! HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: GUILLERMO? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU KNEW EACH
OTHER. YOU KNOW MARK ZUCKERBERG?
>> Guillermo: YEAH, WE MET AT THE POST OFFICE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Wanda: POST OFFICE?
>> Guillermo: YEAH, WE WERE PAYING OUR TAXES TOGETHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Wanda: I GOT A FEELING YOUR ENVELOPE WAS A LITTLE THICKER
THAN MARK ZUCKERBERG'S.
>> Guillermo: JUST A LITTLE BIT.
>> Wanda: YEAH, YEAH. FOR REAL, HOW DID YOU CELEBRATE
THE FOURTH?
>> Guillermo: WE HAD A BARBECUE WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY AND DRINK
A LOT OF TEQUILA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: ALL RIGHT.
THE DRINKING A LOT OF TEQUILA, THAT'S LIKE A TUESDAY, RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Guillermo: THAT'S NORMAL, EVERY DAY.
>> Wanda: THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
I GOT TO HANG OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY, MAN.
I WILL SAY, AFTER DEALING WITH NOTHING BUT COVID, IT WAS NICE
FOR A CHANGE TO HAVE OUR EMERGENCY ROOMS CROWDED WITH
PEOPLE WHO BLEW THEIR FINGERS OFF WITH FIREWORKS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S PROGRESS. THAT'S PROGRESS, RIGHT?
YOU KNOW, THE CDC TOLD PEOPLE TO BE CAREFUL OVER THE HOLIDAY
WEEKEND BECAUSE OF THAT DELTA STRAIN OF COVID.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE ONLY THING THEY'RE WARNING US ABOUT.
THIS IS A REAL THING THE CDC TWEETED FROM THEIR OFFICIAL
ACCOUNT. "DON'T SWIM OR LET YOUR KIDS
SWIM IF SICK WITH DIARRHEA. ONE PERSON WITH DIARRHEA CAN
CONTAMINATE THE ENTIRE POOL."
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND THEY INCLUDED THIS LITTLE VIDEO TO GO WITH IT.
[ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ]
I GUESS THE CDC STILL HAS SOME TRUMP APPOINTEES HANGING AROUND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ERIC DID THAT, I KNOW THAT WAS ERIC. BUT LOOK, HERE'S THE THING,
THOUGH. I'M SORRY. IF YOU HAD DIARRHEA AND WAS
STILL ABLE TO WALK OUT OF YOUR HOUSE? AND TO GO SWIMMING?
I APPLAUD YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S JUST BRAVE, THAT'S BRAVE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SO TO RECAP, FOLKS, PLEASE DON'T GET DIARRHEA IN THE POOL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
GET DIARRHEA AT BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP COMPANY, LIKE A NORMAL
AMERICAN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHOO, SOME OF Y'ALL ARE BIG BUBBA GUMP FANS.
DAMN, I LOVE THAT SHRIMP!
IT'S WORTH THE DIARRHEA!
[ LAUGHTER ]
THERE WAS CELEBRATIONS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY THIS WEEKEND.
LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED AT A FOURTH OF JULY PARADE IN TEXAS.
>> A WOMAN ON A TRACTOR ENDANGERED THE LIFE OF PEOPLE AT
THE CITY'S FOURTH OF JULY PARADE. SATURDAY MORNING, PARADE
ORGANIZERS SAY LORI BOSTICK WAS RIDING IN THE STAGING AREA.
THEY SAY SHE REFUSED TO COOPERATE WITH INSTRUCTIONS,
IGNORED OFFICERS, AND ATTEMPTED TO JOIN THE PARADE.
THEY SAY SHE REFUSED TO STOP WHEN OFFICERS TRIED TO GET HER
TO, BUT EVENTUALLY THEY WERE ABLE TO GET HER OFF THE ROAD.
SHE ENDED UP CRASHING THE TRACTOR INTO A FENCE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Wanda: NOW, I SEEN THE COPS SHOOT BLACK PEOPLE FOR TAKING A
NAP IN A FORD FIESTA. BUT JEAN SHORT KAREN OVER HERE
PLOWS INTO A PARADE ON A TRACTOR? NO PROBLEM.
SO THIS BRINGS ME TO A NEW FEATURE I'M INTRODUCING DURING
MY RUN HERE ON THE SHOW, "THE SIDE EYE CAM."
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
MAKE SURE WE KEEP THAT THING GOING.
I'M GONNA BE USING IT A LOT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO THAT WAS IN TEXAS. AND OVER IN FLORIDA, THE FOURTH
OF JULY WAS VERY FLORIDA‐Y.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND WITH THAT SAID, IT'S TIME FOR TONIGHT'S EDITION OF "THIS
WEEK IN FLORIDA."
>> PEOPLE LIVING IN CAPE CORAL CANAL GOT AN EARLY FOURTH OF
JULY SHOW. IT WASN'T ONE YOU COULD SEE, BUT
YOU COULD DEFINITELY HEAR IT.
>> THE DOGS WERE BARKING AND WE'D GO OUTSIDE, AND THIS GUY IS
SCREAMING, I MEAN, SO LOUD.
>> SHUT UP!
>> BOTTLE ROCKET, YES,
[ BLEEP ], ISN'T IT?
>> I KNOCKED ON EVERY DOOR WHERE THIS HAPPENED, NO ONE ADMITTED
THAT THIS ‐‐
>> OH!
>> WAS THEM.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: SEE, I KNOW YOU'RE ALL LAUGHING AT THIS GUY, BUT I'M
TELLING YOU, I'M ON HIS SIDE, FOR REAL.
HE PROBABLY HAS LIKE FOUR CHIHUAHUAS, ONE WITH THREE LEGS,
YOU KNOW. A SCREAMING BABY. HERE PEOPLE ARE SHOOTING OFF
M‐80s OVER HIS HOUSE. SO HE GOT UP AT 2:47 A. M. JUST
TO GET REVENGE ON HIS NEIGHBORS. SEE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT MAN IS AN INSPIRATION.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
IN HIS HONOR, ON SUNDAY MORNING, I'M GONNA RUN THROUGH MY
NEIGHBORHOOD YELLING LEAFBLOWER! LEAFBLOWER!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
LEAFBLOWER!
SO THIS WAS A BIG STORY IN THE WORLD OF BUSINESS.
JEFF BEZOS STEPPED DOWN AS CEO OF AMAZON YESTERDAY. OH, BOY.
GUILLERMO, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
>> Guillermo: WOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Wanda: EXACTLY.
>> Guillermo: YEAH.
>> Wanda: IT MEANS MY PILLS ARE GOING TO BE DELAYED.
>> Guillermo: OH, WOW.
>> Wanda: DID YOU ORDER FROM AMAZON, GOT ANYTHING YOU WAITING
ON?
>> Guillermo: YEAH, I ORDERED SOME UNDERWEAR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Wanda: OKAY.
>> Guillermo: YEAH, ON SUNDAY.
>> Wanda: OH, OKAY. LET'S REALLY HOPE YOU GET THOSE
UNDERWEAR.
>> Guillermo: I HOPE SO, I HOPE SO.
>> Wanda: ARE YOU RAMBO'ing IT RIGHT NOW?
>> Guillermo: NO, NO, HONEST.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: YOU CAN DO THAT
[ BLEEP ] WITH JIMMY, BUT I
REQUIRE DRAWERS, I WANT DRAWERS.
>> Guillermo: OH, ALL RIGHT, SORRY.
>> Wanda: DRAWERS, OR I'LL WALK! OKAY. AND THIS IS CRAZY.
ON JULY 20th, BEZOS WILL FULFILL HIS CHILDHOOD DREAM OF BLASTING
OFF TO SPACE IN A BIG METAL PENIS.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
IT'S POWERED BY ROCKET FUEL AND VIAGRA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
GUILLERMO, DID YOU KNOW THEY HAVE TO CRUSH UP THE VIAGRA
FIRST?
>> Guillermo: WOW, GOOD TO KNOW.
>> Wanda: YEAH, YOU GOT TO CRUSH IT UP FIRST.
YOU CAN'T THROW WHOLE VIAGRA PILLS IN THE ROCKET.
>> Guillermo: ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU FOR TELLING US.
>> Wanda: ANYWAY, FOLKS, I'M VERY HAPPY TO BE HERE TONIGHT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SEEING ALL OF YOU.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
BUT I'M ALSO HERE TO MAKE SOME DAMN MONEY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT A NEW BUSINESS VENTURE I STARTED.
YEAH, I THINK IT COULD REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN PEOPLE'S
LIVES. TAKE A LOOK.
>> I'M WANDA SYKES. I'VE SPENT MY LIFE SAYING THINGS
YOU COULD ONLY DREAM OF SAYING. RIGHT TO PEOPLE'S BIG, STUPID
FACES. NOW I'M BRINGING MY SERVICES TO
YOU WITH "WANDA SYKES' TELEGRAMS. FOR ONE FEE OF $99.99, PLUS
MANDATORY TIP, I'LL TELL PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE STUFF YOU'RE AFRAID
TO SAY. YOUR CO‐WORKER WON'T STOP CLIPPING HER NAILS AT HER DESK?
I'LL TELL THAT PSYCHO TO CUT IT OUT.
YOUR COUSIN WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT HIS AIR FRYER?
I'LL TELL HIM TO SHUT THE
[ BLEEP ] UP.
I'D SET ANYBODY STRAIGHT. FROM YOUR FRIENDS WHO LOVE TO
BIKE?
>> HIT A MAJOR HILL THAT BLASTED MY QUADS.
>> THAT'S AWESOME.
>> YEAH.
>> LINDSAY, NO ONE OVER THE AGE OF 6 IS IMPRESSED YOU RIDE A
BIKE. BE A NORMAL ADULT AND PUT ON
SOME PANTS, YOU LOOK LIKE A
[ BLEEP ].
>> TO YOUR MOST ANNOYING OFFICE MATE.
>> ARE YOU MICROWAVING FISH AT WORK?
>> OF COURSE, IT'S TILAPIA TUESDAY.
>> NO, IT'S NOT, JOSH. ALSO, DAVE IN ACCOUNTING WANTS
YOU TO KNOW YOUR BREATH IS HORRIBLE.
STACY IN SALES SAYS YOU WEAR TOO MUCH COLOGNE.
THE WHOLE OFFICE HATES YOU. HAVE A NICE DAY.
>> WAIT, CAN I GET THAT FISH?
>> TO YOUR FRENEMIES.
>> LOL.
>> LISTEN UP, CAMILLE. 20 OF YOUR FRIENDS SENT ME HERE
TO TELL YOU TO STOP SAYING LOL OUT LOUD.
IT'S ANNOYING AND IT MAKES ZERO SENSE WHEN YOU SAY IT IN PERSON.
>> LOL.
>> NO. NO!
>> OMG!
>> THAT'S EVEN WORSE!
>> WTF?
>> STFU!
>> "WANDA SYKES' TELEGRAMS." YOU MIGHT BE CHICKEN [ BLEEP ]
BUT I'M NOT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: TONIGHT FROM MY SHOW "THE UPSHAWS," KIM FIELDS IS
HERE. WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM MERRY CLAYTON.
AND WE'LL BE BACK WITH LUDACRIS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Wanda: WELCOME BACK TO "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE." I'M WANDA SYKES.
TONIGHT, FROM THE VERY, VERY FUNNY SHOW "THE UPSHAWS" ON
NETFLIX, I KNOW IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I'M ALSO ON IT,
KIM FIELDS IS HERE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THEN LATER, A LEGENDARY SINGER WHO'S PERFORMED WITH EVERYONE
FROM RAY CHARLES TO THE ROLLING STONES, HER ALBUM IS CALLED
"BEAUTIFUL SCARS," MUSIC FROM THE GREAT MERRY CLAYTON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
TOMORROW NIGHT, I'LL BE BACK WITH COLIN FARRELL,
QUINN‐TA BRONSON, AND MUSIC FROM JAPANESE BREAKFAST.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AND ON THURSDAY, MY GUESTS WILL
BE NICK KROLL AND THE L. A.
SPARKS' CHINEY OGWUMIKE. I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT FIVE
TIMES, GUILLERMO.
>> Guillermo: OKAY.
>> Wanda: WITH MUSIC FROM MY FRIEND, MACY GRAY AND THE
CALIFORNIA JET CLUB. WE'RE NOT REALLY FRIENDS.
WE WERE JUST HIGH AT THE SAME TIME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A GRAMMY‐WINNING HIP‐HOP ARTIST,
ACTOR, ENTREPRENEUR, AND NOW, THANKS TO THE MAGIC OF THE
MOVIES, THE FIRST RAPPER TO FLY A CAR INTO SPACE.
"F9" IS IN THEATRES EVERYWHERE. PLEASE WELCOME
CHRIS "LUDACRIS" BRIDGES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> WHAT UP, WANDA?
>> Wanda: WHAT'S UP, LUDA?
>> I'M GOOD, HAPPY TO BE TALKING TO YOU, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Wanda: I'M GOOD, MAN, HAPPY TO BE TALKING TO YOU TOO.
WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
>> ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO, SHOOTING A FILM.
QUEEN LATIFAH, BEAU BRIDGES, A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVING FUN.
>> Wanda: OH, WOW, OKAY, ALL RIGHT. AND WHAT PART ‐‐ YOU'RE IN
ALBUQUERQUE, YOU SAY? ALBUQUERQUE?
>> ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO. IT'S HOT, IT'S HOT AS HELL, LET
ME JUST SAY THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Wanda: I FIGURED THAT, GOOD LORD. YOU KNOW, BECAUSE I'M DOING
SOMETHING IN AUGUST IN NEW MEXICO.
I'M SHOOTING SOMETHING THERE. SO I WILL PROBABLY JUST CATCH ON
FIRE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S HOT NOW.
>> RIGHT. YOU PROBABLY WILL.
MY ADVICE TO YOU WOULD BE TO STAY YOUR ASS INSIDE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. UNTIL NIGHTTIME.
>> Wanda: SO HOW WAS YOUR FOURTH THERE? ARE THEY ALLOWED TO HAVE
FIREWORKS?
>> OH, 100%. AND IT ACTUALLY SURPRISED ME.
BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE A HOUSE ON THIS MOUNTAIN, THE MOUNTAIN
PRETTY MUCH OVERLOOKS THE ENTIRE CITY.
SO FOR THE FIRST TIME, YOU KNOW, I WAS ABLE TO ‐‐ THERE'S NO
OBSTRUCTION OF VIEW. SO YOU GET TO SEE FIREWORKS FROM
LIKE A 30‐MILE RANGE, JUST POPPING OFF EVERY SINGLE PLACE
IN THE DISTANCE. SO IT WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY
ENJOYABLE, I'M GOING TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, IT WAS DOPE.
>> Wanda: WELL, THAT'S GOOD. I'M GLAD YOU ENJOYED THAT.
IT SOUNDS ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT, I GUESS.
>> IT WAS GOOD. I'M TRYING TO MAKE THE BEST OF
MY TIME.
>> Wanda: I'M JUST THINKING OF HOW HOT ‐‐ I'M GLAD YOU ENJOYED
IT, MAN. LET'S GET DOWN TO SERIOUS
BUSINESS. WHAT'S THE STRIP CLUB SCENE LIKE
THERE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M NOT ASKING FOR ME, YOU KNOW. I DON'T DO THOSE THINGS.
BUT I JUST, YOU KNOW. IN CASE A FRIEND WANTS TO KNOW.
>> LOOK, WHEN YOU COME DOWN HERE IN AUGUST, ME AND THAT FRIEND
THAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, WE'LL GO THERE TOGETHER AND FIGURE IT
OUT, CHECK IT OUT FOR OURSELVES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: OH WAIT, THIS IS PRETTY COOL.
WE HAVE A PICTURE OF A SIGN. THIS WAS IN VIRGINIA.
WHERE I'M FROM. "DRIVING FAST AND FURIOUS?
THAT'S LUDACRIS." HOW COOL IS THAT, MAN?
>> LISTEN, AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE.
THEN I FOUND OUT IT WAS REAL. AND I THINK, YOU KNOW, AS
ARTISTS, AS ENTERTAINERS, WE ALWAYS WANT TO MAKE ART AND TO
DO THINGS THAT ARE INGRAINED IN POPULAR CULTURE.
AND THAT RIGHT THERE JUST LET ME KNOW THAT LUDACRIS AND THE "FAST
AND FURIOUS" FRANCHISE ARE NOW SYNONYMOUS TO THE REST OF THE
WORLD. WE ARE HOUSEHOLD NAMES. IT HUMBLED ME, AND IT MAKES ME
FEEL GREAT THAT WE HAVE FANS ACROSS THE WORLD THAT ARE
ACTUALLY GOING TO PUT THAT ON A HIGHWAY TO TRY AND GET PEOPLE'S
ATTENTION.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S LOVE TO EVERYBODY AND BEAUTIFUL.
>> Wanda: THAT IS PRETTY COOL. SO LOOK, SO LIKE WHEN WAS THE
LAST TIME YOU GOT A SPEEDING TICKET?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU KNOW, BEING LUDACRIS HAS ITS PRIVILEGES, I WILL BE HONEST.
THEY PULL ME OVER, I SHOW THE FACE CARD, ASK THEM IF THEY WANT
A SIGNED CD FOR THEIR KIDS, AND I CAN GET OFF, AS LONG AS I'M
NOT GOING TOO FAST OR TOO FURIOUS, I CAN GET OFF.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: SEEMS LIKE THE COPS PULL YOU OVER, YOU GO, "COME ON,
MAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I DO, I'M ABOUT THIS LIFE, YOU SEEN THE
MOVIES?"
>> ABSOLUTELY, ALL I DO IS TELL THEM I'M PRACTICING FOR THE
MOVIES, THEY ALL FANS OF THE FRANCHISE AS WELL.
SOMETIMES I JUST TELL THEM I'M SHOOTING A SCENE RIGHT NOW WHILE
THEY'RE PULLING ME OVER, THAT'S ENOUGH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Wanda: SO THE MOVIES EARNED OVER $500 MILLION WORLDWIDE.
>> $500 MILLION!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: PRETTY AWESOME.
>> YEAH.
>> Wanda: SO BETWEEN US, WHAT'S YOUR CUT, MAN?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU KNOW, I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT.
BUT I AM GOING TO BE HONEST, LIKE THE CUT, THE PRICE JUST
WENT UP, I'M GOING TO LET YOU KNOW THAT. $500 MILLION IS A LOT.
I ALMOST CHARGED THEM TO COME ON HERE, WHEN I HEARD YOU WERE
HOSTING, I TOLD THEM WE SHOULD PROBABLY CHARGE WANDA AND
EVERYBODY ON THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" SHOW BECAUSE OF THAT.
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY HOMIE, I DIDN'T DO IT, I'M NOT CHARGING
WANDA. EVERY OTHER INTERVIEW I DO FROM
HERE ON OUT, I'M CHARGING, THAT'S IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Wanda: THAT'S GOOD LOOKING OUT, GOOD LOOKING OUT.
BECAUSE YOU KNOW, IF THEY TOLD ME I HAD TO PAY, I'D HAVE SAID,
THAT'S LUDACRIS!
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> I'M SURE.
>> Wanda: SO HAVE YOU HAD A CHANCE TO SEE THE MOVIE YET?
LIKE WITH AN AUDIENCE?
>> I HAVE. YOU KNOW, NOW IS THE PERFECT
TIME TO BE A CELEBRITY, BECAUSE YOU CAN SNEAK EVERYWHERE WITH A
MASK ON AND NOBODY BATS AN EYE, LOOKS AT YOU CRAZY.
I HAVE SNUCK INTO THE MOVIE THEATERS NUMEROUS TIMES,
ESPECIALLY HERE IN ALBUQUERQUE. I SIT DEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
MOVIE THEATER JUST TO GET THE REAL AUDIENCE EXPERIENCE.
AND IT'S ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. BECAUSE THINK ABOUT IT.
WHEN WE WERE KIDS, YOU GO SEE MOVIES, YOU WONDER WHAT IT'S
LIKE TO BE A MOVIE STAR. NOW I'M THE PERSON UP ON SCREEN,
AND ALL I CAN DO IS THANK THE MOST HIGH AND ALL OF THE FANS
JUST FOR ALLOWING ME TO BE THIS KNOW, JUST DO THIS ART AND
EXPRESS MYSELF, AND PEOPLE LOVE AND ENJOY AND LIVE VICARIOUSLY
THROUGH THESE OVER‐THE‐TOP ACTION MOVIES THAT ARE NOW AT ‐‐
I WANT TO SAY $6 BILLION ACCUMULATED WITH ALL THE
FRANCHISE MOVIESING TO. "FAST AND FURIOUS" LOVES EACH
AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, AND I LOVE YOU.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
KEEP GOING TO THE THEATERS.
>> Wanda: THEY ARE FUN, THEY ARE. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE IN MY
SITUATION, THOUGH. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WITH THE MASK
AND ALL, YOU CAN GET AWAY. BUT IT'S OUR VOICE.
PEOPLE KNOW THE VOICE. RIGHT? SO WHEN YOU ‐‐
>> THIS IS TRUE.
>> Wanda: YOU SNEAK INTO THE MOVIES, I'M GOING TO GET SOME
POPCORN. THEY'RE LIKE, LUDA! THAT YOU, LUDA?
>> THAT'S WHY I GOT TO HAVE SOMEBODY WITH ME.
I ALWAYS TELL THEM TO GET THE POPCORN.
I GOT TO MAKE SURE I'M QUIET IN THE THEATER.
ONE TIME I WENT TO A McDONALD'S DRIVE‐THRU, THEY KNEW WHO I WAS
BEFORE I GOT TO THE WINDOW. WHEN I WAS ORDERING, THEY
RECOGNIZED MY VOICE RIGHT AWAY. YOU ARE 100% CORRECT.
OUR VOICES ARE TOO DISTINCTIVE.
>> Wanda: EXACTLY. EXACTLY. AND THEN IT'S THE SELFIES AND
ALL THAT. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY MESSING
WITH YOUR FOOD, RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, MAN, LISTEN. YOU BETTER BE NICE TO ANYBODY
WHO PREPARES YOUR FOOD, I'M TRYING TO TELL Y'ALL, I'M
WARNING YOU. IF ANYBODY HEARS MY VOICE, NO
MATTER WHERE YOU ARE, YOU BETTER BE NICE TO ANYBODY THAT PREPARES
YOUR FOOD. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT COULD
HAPPEN, PERIOD.
>> Wanda: EXACTLY. LOOK, WE'LL HAVE MORE WITH
LUDACRIS AFTER THIS.
>> Dicky: PORTIONS OF "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" ARE BROUGHT
TO YOU BY CREDIT KARMA MONEY, A REWARDING WAY TO SPEND AND SAVE.
>>> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> HOW FAST YOU HAVE TO GO TO CLEAR?
>> I DON'T KNOW, MAN. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
>> "DANGER, LAND MINES."
>> WHAT?
>> HOW FAST?
>> 250‐FOOT BLAST RADIUS, A HALF SECOND TRIGGER DELAY ‐‐ I'D SAY
ABOUT 80.
>> I CAN'T, MY SPEEDOMETER ONLY GOES TO 70.
>> PUT YOUR FOOT TO THE FLOOR AND YOU PRAY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: WOW. WELCOME BACK.
I'M HERE WITH LUDACRIS. OH MY GOD, MAN, THAT BLOWS UP
GOOD.
>> OH MY GOODNESS, LISTEN. WHEN I TELL YOU, AND IT'S ONLY
IN THEATERS, I DON'T WANT TO SOUND TOO AIR GACHBT, BUT
THEY'RE SAYING AROUND HOLLYWOOD THE "FAST AND FURIOUS" FRANCHISE
HAS SAVED THE MOVIE THEATER INDUSTRY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
OH, OH!
>> Wanda: OH, MAN. THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE TO SEE THAT. YOU HAVE TO SEE THAT IN THE
THEATER. I DON'T ‐‐ YOU KNOW, ALL THAT
STUFF BLOWING UP IN MY HOUSE? WHOO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT WOULD UPSET MY LIQUOR BOTTLES, I CAN'T HAVE THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH MY GOODNESS.
>> Wanda: SO LATER IN THE MOVIE, YOU GO TO SPACE?
>> OH, YEAH. OH, I WENT TO SPACE BEFORE ELON
MUSK, BEFORE RICHARD BRANSON, BEFORE TOM CRUISE, THEY CAN ALL
KISS MY ASS, I DID IT.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: FOR REAL, HOW DID THEY PITCH THAT TO YOU?
THEY SAID, "SO LOOK, YOU AND TYRECE, Y'ALL GONNA DRIVE TO
SPACE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> LET ME TELL YOU, FIRST AND FOREMOST, WE GET THE SCRIPT,
THEY DON'T TELL US ANYTHING. WE HAVE TO READ THE SCRIPT.
EVERY TIME I READ THE SCRIPT I'M MAKING SURE THAT MY BLACK ASS
DON'T DIE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT. ONCE I GET THROUGH THAT.
SO I STAYED ALIVE. THEN WHEN I SAW THE SCENE ABOUT
US GOING TO SPACE, I'M JUST, AS MY NAME IMPLIES, I'M VERY
LUDICROUS. I'M THRILL SEEKING, ADRENALINE
JUNKIE. YES, I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE
THE TALK OF THE MOVIE. AS YOU CAN SEE, IT IS.
>> Wanda: ALL RIGHT. SO ONCE YOU READ THE SCRIPT AND
YOU SAID, OKAY, I DO COME BACK FROM SPACE, THEN YOU ‐‐
>> YES, I WAS ALL IN.
>> Wanda: THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN MY FIRST ‐‐
>> 100% OKAY, YES.
>> Wanda: YES, FIRST QUESTION, AM I COMING BACK?
>> THANK YOU.
>> Wanda: THE FANS ONLINE, THEY ARE LOOKING FOR A "FAST AND
FURIOUS JURY RAS SICK WORLD" MASHUP.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?
>> THAT'S THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING I'VE HEARD IN MY LIFE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M GOING TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. THEY SURPRISED ME WITH A LOT OF
THINGS OF HOW WE CONTINUE TO TOP OURSELVES.
BUT NOWHERE IN MY RIGHT MIND DO I SEE "JURASSIC WORLD" AND "FAST
AND FURIOUS" COMING TOGETHER. MAYBE THEY GOT TO CONVINCE ME,
BUT I DON'T SEE IT. THAT'S LUDICROUS, PUN INTENDED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Wanda: I'M JUST REMINDING YOU.
YOU'RE SAYING IT'S OKAY GOING TO SPACE IN A PONTIAC, BUT YOU
CAN'T MESS WITH DINOSAURS?
[ LAUGHTER ]
AT LEAST THERE'S A LINE, THAT'S YOUR LINE.
>> I'M TRYING TO SAY, ALL THESE FAST CARS AND DINOSAURS TOGETHER?
IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME. BUT YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, BOTH OF
THOSE ARE LUDICROUS, YOU'RE 100% CORRECT, YOU'RE RIGHT.
>> Wanda: WHAT ABOUT "FAST AND FURIOUS VERSUS GODZILLA"?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> PRETTY MUCH IN THE SAME CATEGORY AS WHAT THE HELL ARE WE
TRYING TO DO HERE? THAT'S HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT,
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
>> Wanda: HERE'S A GOOD ONE, "FAST AND FURIOUS VERSUS THE
REAL HOUSEWIVES." ALL OF THEM.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THAT COULD WORK THAT COULD WORK RIGHT THERE, YEAH.
>> Wanda: OKAY. "F9" IS IN THEATERS NOW.
AND WE'LL BE BACK WITH KIM FIELDS.
THANKS, LUDA, LOVE YOU, BABY.
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. LOVE YOU.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: OUR NEXT GUEST HAS BEEN ENTERTAINING US FOR OVER
40 YEARS. SHE'S AN ACTRESS, WRITER,
DIRECTOR, PRODUCER, AND THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS TOOTIE.
NOW SHE'S PLAYING MY SISTER ON OUR NEW SITCOM "THE UPSHAWS."
>> MOVING ON, MOVING UP. NO MORE ROADBLOCKS.
>> HEY. TO THROW IN A LITTLE QUICKIE T ‐
BEFORE WORK?
>> I FORGOT ABOUT THAT DEAD END.
>> NO, BABY, I CAN'T. I HAVE MY INTERVIEW AT ST.
VINCENT'S.
>> NO, BABY, THAT'S TODAY? BABY, YOU'RE GOING TO GET THAT
JOB.
>> I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT.
>> IT AIN'T NOTHING MORE SEXY THAN A WOMAN GETTING A BIG‐ASS
PAYCHECK.
>> OH, PUMP ME UP, DADDY, PUMP ME UP!
>> OH, I HATE WHEN YOU LIKE HIM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: THE UPSHAWS" IS ON NETFLIX NOW.
PLEASE WELCOME KIM FIELDS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Wanda: WOW. THAT AIN'T PLAYING AROUND, HUH?
>> LISTEN, I KNEW WHO I WAS DEALING WITH, I KNEW WHAT I WAS
COMING INTO. I HAD TO BRING THE THUNDER.
>> Wanda: I SEE, AND THE LIGHTNING.
THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME. I'VE NEVER BEEN HERE.
>> Wanda: WHAT?
>> LEAVE TO IT YOU TO MAKE IT MY FIRST VISIT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: THAT'S INSANE.
>> I KNOW.
>> Wanda: WELL, IT'S AN HONOR TO HAVE YOU.
MAN, WE ARE HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME.
I JUST LOVE WORKING WITH YOU.
>> THE SAME TO YOU. THE SAME TO YOU.
>> Wanda: YEAH.
>> IT'S VERY EXCITING TO DO THE DANCE WITH WANDA SYKES,
ABSOLUTELY. AND SHE CREATED THE SHOW WITH
MIKE EPPS AND REGINA HICKS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: YEAH, AND IT WAS EASY HOW WE JUST FELL INTO THESE
ROLES.
>> YEAH.
>> Wanda: I REMEMBER YOU WERE COMING IN TO DO THE CHEMISTRY
TEST WITH MIKE. SO I'M OF COURSE LINKED INTO THE
AUDITION ROOM. YOU DROVE BY, YOU SAID, WANDA,
I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE, GIRL. I WAS LIKE, OKAY, KIM.
I WAS LIKE, [ BLEEP ], THAT'S KIM FIELDS! I DON'T KNOW HER.
IT WAS AMAZING THAT WE HAD NEVER MET.
>> NEVER MET. I'M BEEPING MY HORN AND
HOLLERING OUT THE WINDOW LIKE I DON'T HAVE ANY HOME TRAINING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M LIKE, HEY, WANDA, BE RIGHT BACK!
THEN I'M DRIVING AWAY, YOU JUST SAID TO WANDA SYKES, BE RIGHT
BACK. INSANE MOMENTS. I ASKED MY STYLIST FOR A WHITE
SUIT, BECAUSE YOUR NETFLIX SPECIAL, I TOLD YOU WHEN I MET
YOU, I WAS LIKE, THAT WHITE SUIT IS KICK‐ASS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SO I WORE ONE JUST FOR YOU. SHE ROCKED IT.
YOU CRUSHED THE NETFLIX SPECIAL.
>> Wanda: THANK YOU.
>> YOU CRUSHED THAT WHITE SUIT. THIS IS MY HOMAGE TO YOU.
>> Wanda: I APPRECIATE IT. ALSO, SPEAKING OF NETFLIX, WE
GOT PICKED UP.
>> COME ON!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: THE UPSHAWS SEASON 2. I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS.
IT GIVES ME TIME TO TURN YOU INTO A DRINKER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YES.
>> Wanda: REALLY, I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO TURNING YOU INTO A
DRINKER.
>> LET ME TELL YOU, BECAUSE IT'S JUST ‐‐ IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS.
MY REAL‐LIFE SISTER, ALEXIS, SHE'S TRIED AND JUST ‐‐ YOU KNOW.
>> Wanda: SHE'S A LIGHTWEIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YES, SHE IS.
>> Wanda: I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW TO DO IT RIGHT.
WE'RE DOING THIS SCENE, WE'RE DRINKING TEQUILA, AND SO KIM, WE
HAVE TO TAKE A SHOT. AND KIM GOES, OH, SO WHEN I TAKE
IT, AM I SUPPOSED TO ACT LIKE IT BURNS OR SOMETHING?
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND I WAS LIKE, WHO THE HELL IS THIS CHILD ACTRESS WHO HAS NEVER
TAKEN SHOTS OF TEQUILA? I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU, WHAT
DOES HEROIN IN YOUR TOES FEEL LIKE?
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
ACTING FOR 40 YEARS? WEREN'T YOU IN THE CHILD STAR
CLUB?
>> YES, NO, UH‐UH. I WAS THAT CHILD STAR WHO
THOUGHT ONE PUFF OF WEED, I WOULD BE THE ONE THAT FINDS OUT
THAT [ BLEEP ] CAN KILL YOU! SO I NEVER TRIED ‐‐ SO I DIDN'T
MESS AROUND, I JUST, YOU KNOW ‐‐ YES.
I'M LATE TO THE PARTY ON SOME OF THIS STUFF. BUT I'M READY TO GO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Wanda: GOOD, THAT'S GOOD. AND THEY TOLD ME YOUR DAD IRV
WORKS ON THE SHOW.
>> YES, AND I HEARD MYSELF CUSSING AND I'M LIKE, OH, DAD
HEARD THAT.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> MY DAD, IRV HEARD, EMMY AWARD
WINNER, HE'S HERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SO AS MUCH AS I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU, WHEN WE
WERE DRIVING HERE, I WAS LIKE, I'M NERVOUS, BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE
IT'S TAKE YOUR KID TO WORKDAY FOR DAD. MY DAD'S HERE.
I'M GOING TO SEE DAD AT WORK.
>> Wanda: AWW, THAT'S SO SWEET. SO WHEN JIMMY HAD BIG STARS AND
STUFF HERE, YOU DIDN'T ASK HIM TO ‐‐ BECAUSE HE HAS AMAZING
MUSICAL GUESTS.
>> YEAH.
>> Wanda: YOU NEVER WOULD ASK HIM ‐‐
>> THE ONLY ONE I ASKED ABOUT WAS MICHAEL McDONALD.
COME ON, GIVE IT UP.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
LISTEN, I HOST MICHAEL McDONALD MONDAYS, 2 1/2, 3 YEARS NOW.
I AM THE QUINTESSENTIAL MICHAEL McDONALD FAN.
I'M ALWAYS LIKE, DAD, IS HE THERE, IS HE THERE?
>> Wanda: I WANT TO NOTE, I THINK THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE
HEARD SOMEONE ON NETWORK TELEVISION SAY, "GIVE IT UP FOR
MICHAEL McDONALD!"
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> I KNOW, RIGHT, RIGHT? EXACTLY.
>> Wanda: I KNOW YOU'RE A HUGE MICHAEL McDONALD FAN.
>> I AM.
>> Wanda: I REMEMBER GOING ON SET AND WALKING PAST THE MAKEUP
TRAILER, YOU HAD THE WHOLE TRAILER ROCKING.
>> YES.
>> Wanda: TO MICHAEL McDONALD.
>> YES, WE WERE ROCKING, YEAH.
>> Wanda: DO YOU REALIZE HOW MANY MICHAELS YOU GO PAST BEFORE
YOU GET TO MICHAEL McDONALD?
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU SAY, OH, I LOVE MICHAEL. JACKSON? UH‐UH. JORDAN? UH‐UH.
>> B. JORDAN? UH‐UH.
>> Wanda: MICHAEL FROM "GOOD TIMES"? UH‐UH.
>> NO, MICHAEL FROM "GOOD TIMES" BEFORE MICHAEL McDONALD?
I'M SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW.
[ APPLAUSE ]
THE FICTITIOUS MICHAEL BEFORE YOU GET TO MICHAEL McDONALD?
BUT LISTEN, I MEAN, LISTEN, I SANG "DEAR MICHAEL" WHEN I WAS A
KID. SO, YOU KNOW, EVERYONE ASSUMES
THAT IT SHOULD BE ALL ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON.
>> Wanda: RIGHT.
>> NO.
>> Wanda: YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH IS JACKSONS?
>> JANET AND I WERE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.
SO MY FIRST DISNEY TRIP WAS WITH JANET AND MICHAEL.
>> Wanda: WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?
>> YOU KNOW, IT WAS A LOT OF FUN.
AND VERY ‐‐ YOU WOULD THINK NOT, BUT ACTUALLY, VERY NORMAL.
I MEAN, REALLY. BECAUSE IT WASN'T IN THE DAY AND
AGE OF CELL PHONES AND, YOU KNOW, CAMERA PHONES AND ALL OF
THAT. IT WAS JUST ‐‐ IT WAS JUST ‐‐
PEOPLE RECOGNIZE YOU, BUT THEN YOU JUST KEEP MOVING.
>> Wanda: YEAH, SO YOU COULD DO ANYTHING BACK THEN.
WAS MICHAEL JUST WALKING THROUGH, SMACKING [ BLEEP ] OUT
OF PEOPLE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
WOULDN'T IT BE FUN IF MICHAEL JACKSON WAS REALLY LIKE RICK
JAMES, WE WAS JUST NEVER ABLE TO CATCH IT?
HE WAS JUST WALKING THROUGH, "I'M MICHAEL JACKSON, BITCH!"
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
THEN CAMERA PHONES CAME OUT. THEN HE HAD TO GO TO THAT LITTLE
VOICE. START ACTING OUT ‐‐
>> CUT IT OUT, STOP IT, STOP IT!
>> Wanda: I CAN'T HELP MYSELF, I GO TOO FAR.
>> TOO FAR, TOO FAR.
>> Wanda: ONE THING, NOT JUST YOUR ACTING AND WHO YOU ARE AS A
PERSON, I HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOU AS A MOTHER.
YOU ARE SO AMAZING WITH YOUR KIDS.
LIKE YEAH YOU BRING THEM, YOU KNOW ‐‐ BRING THEM TO SET,
YOU'RE ALWAYS CHECKING IN. YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE CRAP AS A
MOM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> MAN, I ‐‐ I ACTUALLY LOVE BEING A MOM AND A MOM OF BOYS.
>> Wanda: YEAH.
>> THAT'S MY SWEET SPOT. THAT'S MY THING.
I WAS BORN TO BE SAN BERNARDINO AND QUINCY'S MOM.
>> Wanda: DO YOU LET THEM WATCH THE SHOW, "THE UPSHAWS"?
>> SEBASTIAN HASN'T WATCHED. QUINCY'S WATCHED ONE OR TWO
EPISODES. WE MONITOR BECAUSE OF THE
LANGUAGE. HIS FAVORITE PART, HE SAYS, MOM,
WHEN MR. MIKE SAYS, I GOT A BAND‐AID IN MY MOUTH!
THAT'S HIS FAVORITE PART.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Wanda: WELL, I CANNOT WAIT TO MAKE MORE MEMORIES AND MORE
EPISODES OF "UPSHAWS." THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Wanda: PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR KIM FIELDS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
"THE UPSHAWS" IS ON NETFLIX NOW. AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
MUSIC FROM MERRY CLAYTON.
>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS
PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Guillermo: IS THE RUBBER DUCKY MOVIE SCARY?
>> I JUST SELL 'EM, I DON'T WATCH 'EM.
>> Guillermo: OKAY, I'LL TAKE ONE FOR ME AND ONE FOR EVERYONE
BEHIND ME.
>> YOU SURE HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS.
>> Guillermo: OH, THEY'RE NOT MY FRIENDS.
BUT WHEN I PAY WITH CREDIT KARMA MONEY, I COULD WIN INSTANT KARMA
AND GET THESE TICKETS FOR FREE.
>> WOW, THAT'S A GREAT DEAL. YOU GOING TO BUY POPCORN FOR
THEM OF THEM TOO?
>> Guillermo: I'M NOT RICH, CRAZY LADY.
WHO WANTS TO GIVE ME A PIGGYBACK RIDE? ALL RIGHT, READY?
>> Dicky: WHEN YOU BUY SOMETHING WITH CREDIT KARMA MONEY, YOU
COULD WIN INSTANT KARMA AND GET IT FOR FREE.
OPEN AN ACCOUNT TODAY.
>> Dicky: THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY
MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Wanda: THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE.
I'D LIKE TO THANK LUDACRIS and KIM FIELDS.
I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW NIGHT WITH COLIN FARRELL, QUINTA BRUNSON,
AND MUSIC FROM JAPANESE BREAKFAST.
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT BUT FIRST, PLAYING THE TITLE TRACK FROM HER
FIRST ALBUM IN MORE THAN 25 YEARS, IT'S CALLED "BEAUTIFUL
SCARS," THE FABULOUS MERRY CLAYTON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
♪ I'VE BEEN ON THE
BATTLEFIELD OF LIFE I'VE BEEN THROUGH IT
BUT I JUST HAD TO ♪
♪ GO THROUGH THAT
TO GET TO THIS
♪ I IRK I'VE BEEN KNOCKED OUT
I'VE BEEN KICKED DOWN ♪
♪ BUT FAITH BROUGHT ME BACK
AND I'M STILL STANDING HERE AND NOW ♪
♪ THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL SCARS
♪ THAT I HAVE ON MY HEART
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL PROOF THAT I MADE IT THIS FAR
EVERY HURT I'VE ENDURED ♪
♪ EVERY CUT EVERY BRUISE
WEAR IT PROUD LIKE A BADGE WEAR IT LIKE A TATTOO
THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL SCARS ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH
THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL SCARS YEAH, YEAH I WOULDN'T CHANGE ♪
♪ ONE SINGLE THING
EVEN THE BAD
'CUZ EVERYTHING THAT MADE ME BREAK ♪
♪ MADE ME WHO I AM
I, I HAD SOME BAD FALLS BUT THAT MADE ME STAND TALL ♪
♪ I GOT THROUGH THE FIRE
AND I'M STILL STANDING TALL NOW THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL SCARS ♪
♪ THAT I HAVE ON MY HEART
BEAUTIFUL PROOF THAT I MADE IT THIS FAR
EVERY HURT I'VE ENDURED ♪
♪ EVERY CUT EVERY BRUISE
I WEAR PROUD LIKE A BADGE WEAR IT LIKE A TATTOO
THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL SCARS ♪
♪ YEAH
THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL SCARS YEAH I'M GRATEFUL FOR ♪
♪ EACH OF THEM
YEAH I'M WHO I AM BECAUSE OF THEM ♪
♪ YEAH
I'M THANKFUL EACH DAY FOR MY SCARS EVERYBODY ♪
♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT SCARS
THEY'RE PART OF WHAT MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE
STAND UP AND BE ♪
♪ PROUD OF YOUR SCARS
YEAH, YEAH THOSE ARE BEAUTIFUL SCARS
YOU HAVE ON YOUR HEART ♪
♪ THAT'S BEAUTIFUL PROOF
THAT YOU'VE MADE IT THIS FAR EVERY HURT ♪
♪ YOU'VE ENDURED
EVERY CUT EVERY BRUISE WEAR LIKE A BADGE
WEAR IT LIKE A TATTOO ♪
♪ THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL SCARS
YEAH, YEAH THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL SCARS
YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ I'M GRATEFUL FOR
EACH ONE OF THEM I'M WHO I AM BECAUSE OF THEM ♪
♪ STAND UP AND BE
PROUD OF YOUR SCARS
WHOOOOOOOO EVERYBODY'S GOT SCARS ♪
♪