1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,571 >> Announcer: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!" 2 00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,174 TONIGHT, CHRIS PRATT, MICHAEL COHEN, AND MUSIC FROM 3 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:12,045 THE ISLEY BROTHERS FEATURING SNOOP DOGG. 4 00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:18,986 AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 5 00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:23,624 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. IT'S VERY NICE. THANK YOU. 6 00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:28,795 I'M JIMMY. I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. 7 00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:35,636 WELCOME. RELAX. I HAVE TO SAY WE HAVE SAFETY 8 00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:39,106 MEASURES IN PLACE. I AM STILL GETTING USED TO THE 9 00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:43,076 MASKS IN THE AUDIENCE. FEELS LIKE I WOKE UP FROM 10 00:00:43,076 --> 00:00:46,980 SURGERY AND THEY CALLED IN A HUGE TEAM OF MEDICAL STUDENTS. 11 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:52,152 WE HAVE 89 VISITORS IN OUR AUDIENCE TONIGHT. ALL VACCINATED. 12 00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:56,990 THAT IS THE GOOD NEWS. THE BAD NEWS IS YOU'RE ON 13 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,526 HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD. HOME OF THE HEPATITIS! 14 00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:02,596 WHERE SPIDER‐MEN COME TO DIE. YOU GOT HERE JUST IN THE NICK OF 15 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:03,430 TIME. TONIGHT IS MY LAST SHOW BEFORE 16 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:10,037 SUMMER VACATION. IT HAS BEEN A LONG YEAR. 17 00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:11,738 I NEED TO RELAX, SO I'M GOING DRIVE A THOUSAND MILES WITH TWO 18 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:15,909 KIDS IN A WINNEBAGO. I WILL BE BACK AFTER LABOR DAY 19 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:20,013 WEEKEND, AND IN THE MEANTIME, WE'VE ASSEMBLED A STAR‐STUDDED 20 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,548 ROSTER OF GUEST HOSTS, TO FILL IN FOR ME. 21 00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:25,752 AND SPEAKING OF HOSTS, I ALSO WANT TO CONGRATULATE 22 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:30,357 CONAN O'BRIEN, ON 28 YEARS OF VERY FUNNY LATE NIGHT TELEVISION. 23 00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:35,062 CONAN WRAPPED UP HIS SHOW ON TBS TONIGHT. 24 00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,630 YOU KNOW, BEFORE CONAN, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW BEARS COULD 25 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:41,935 MASTURBATE. DID YOU, GUILLERMO? 26 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,037 >> ME EITHER. 27 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:51,612 >> Jimmy: ANYWAY, HERE'S TO CONAN AND ANDY RICHTER. 28 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:57,684 AND CONGRATULATIONS TO JAY LENO I HIS NEW TIME SLOT AT TBS. 29 00:01:57,684 --> 00:02:01,555 I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS HOW CONAN DID IT BUT THIS WAS QUITE 30 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:05,359 A GOING‐AWAY ANNOUNCEMENT. IN LOUISVILLE, A WORKER AT 31 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,494 McDONALD'S FOUND A VERY CREATIVE WAY TO HAND IN HIS LETTER OF 32 00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:10,464 RESIGNATION. 33 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:15,168 >> USING SIGNS THAT WERE POSTED IN THE DRIVE‐IN WINDOW. 34 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:19,039 THEY POSTED WE ARE CLOSED BECAUSE I AM QUITTING AND I HATE 35 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,040 THIS JOB. 36 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,241 >> Jimmy: "YOU PEOPLE WHO ASK FOR EXTRA DIPPING SAUCE? 37 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,744 YOU DID THIS. THIS IS ON YOU!" WHO DOESN'T SIGN A MASTERPIECE 38 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:30,884 LIKE THAT? WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU 39 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,286 TONIGHT. MUSIC FROM THE ISELY BROTHERS 40 00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:35,756 AND SNOOP DOGG, CHRIS PRATT IS HERE IN THE FLESH. 41 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:39,893 AND WE ARE GOING TO BE JOINED BY DONALD TRUMP'S FORMER LAWYER, 42 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:42,963 MICHAEL COHEN. HE IS NOT HERE IN PERSON BUT HE 43 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:45,799 HAS GOOD REASON FOR IT. WE SEND AN E‐MAIL TO THE STAFF 44 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:50,037 WITH INFORMATION ABOUT THE SHOW. IN 18 YEARS OF DOING THIS, IT 45 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:52,172 MIGHT BE THE BEST NOTE ABOUT A GUEST. 46 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:59,079 MICHAEL COHEN, REMOTE INTERVIEW, UNDER HOUSE ARREST. 47 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,982 DOES NOT EVEN SOUND LIKE A PUNISHMENT ANYMORE. 48 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:06,787 AFTER COVID IT IS LIKE HEARING SOMEONE GOT SENTENCED TO NETFLIX. 49 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:11,525 MICHAEL COHEN HAS A DISTINCTIVE WAY OF SPEAKING, ALMOST A 50 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:15,562 SCHWARZENEGGER‐QUALITY TO IT AND HE IS VERY ANIMATED. 51 00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:22,402 WE TOOK AUDIO FROM HIS PODCAST AND PUT IT WITH ANIMATION. 52 00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:27,808 >> MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE AND BOWS DOWN TO DONALD TRUMP, 53 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:32,145 SUGGESTS A DEEPLY SICK AND BROKEN POLITICAL SYSTEM. 54 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:37,050 THESE PEOPLE ARE BY EVERY STRETCH OF THE [ BLEEP ] 55 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,252 IMAGINATION ROTTEN, CORRUPT AND INSANE. 56 00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:45,425 ONE IS AN ALLEGED UNDER AGE SEX TRAFFICKER, ANOTHER A PEDDLER OF 57 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,294 QANON CONSPIRACY, AND THE THIRD 58 00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:55,969 IS WELL DONALD [ BLEEP ] TRUMP. 59 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,939 >> Jimmy: GRAB THEM BY THE SNAGGLEPUSS. 60 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:02,275 MICHAEL COHEN WILL BE WITH US SHORTLY. DONALD TRUMP, IF YOU ARE 61 00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,745 WATCHING, GET THOSE LITTLE THUMBS READY TO SUCK. 62 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:08,548 YOU KNOW WE HAVE BEEN SAYING HOW PLEASANTLY BORING IT HAS BEEN 63 00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:12,152 WITH PRESIDENT BIDEN IN THE WHITE HOUSE BECAUSE HE DOESN'T 64 00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:14,454 DO ANYTHING WEIRD? TODAY HE DID SOMETHING WEIRD. 65 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:19,326 >> WE SAID WHEN PEOPLE ARE WAITING FOR RELIEF. 66 00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:26,199 I GOT THEM $1.9 TRILLION OF RELIEF SO FAR. 67 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:30,804 AND THEN JUST IN CASE THAT WASN'T CREEPY ENOUGH, HE DID IT 68 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:31,638 AGAIN TWICE. 69 00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:36,009 >> GUESS WHAT, WHEN EMPLOYERS CAN'T FIND WORKERS. 70 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:41,715 I SAID YEAH, PAY THEM MORE. I WROTE THE BILL. 71 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,584 ON THE ENVIRONMENT. 72 00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:48,054 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW THAT IS HIS SEX VOICE, RIGHT. 73 00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:55,495 THAT IS WHAT WE JUST HEARD. YES. THAT IS THE SOUND JILL BIDEN 74 00:04:55,495 --> 00:05:00,700 HEARS BEFORE HE STARTS CHEWING ON HER HAIR. TOO MUCH? TOO MUCH? 75 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:03,603 THIS IS SOMETHING I NEED TO ASK MICHAEL COHEN ABOUT. 76 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:07,440 DONALD TRUMP IS A LAWYER AFTER HIM IS NOW NOT A LAWYER ANYMORE 77 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,243 OR NOT ALLOWED TO PRACTICE IN THE STATE OF NEW YORK. 78 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:15,816 A NEW YORK STATE COURT TEMPORARILY SUSPENDED RUDY 79 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:21,788 GIULIANI'S LAW LICENSE FOR MAKING MISLEADING STATEMENTS ON 80 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:28,061 THE BEHALF OF HIS WORK FOR TRUMP. HE COULD BE BEHIND BARS. 81 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:31,198 RECOUNT DRACULA DID GET A SHOW OF SUPPORT FROM THE FORMER 82 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:34,367 PRESIDENT WHO PUT OUT A FORCEFUL STATEMENT SCREAMING ABOUT 83 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:39,639 JUSTICE AND RUDY'S SON, ANDREW GIULIANI WAS SO UPSET HE MADE A 84 00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:41,241 VIDEO IN A PARKING LOT. 85 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:45,712 >> THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE TO SEE HOW POLITICIZED ALL OF THIS HAS 86 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:50,617 BECOME. I AM INFURIATED BY ALL OF IT AND 87 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:54,821 ANY AMERICAN THAT DEPENDS ON AN INDEPENDENT JUSTICE SYSTEM, THIS 88 00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:59,726 IS GOING AFTER ONE OF PRESIDENT TRUMP'S CLOSEST ALLIES AND ANY 89 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:04,931 AMERICAN THAT DOESN'T BELIEVE IT, THEY ARE JUST BIASED. 90 00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:09,135 >> IS HE LIKE THREE FEET TALL? THE GUY WANTS TO BE GOVERNO AND 91 00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:12,105 DOESN'T HAVE A FRIEND TO HOLD THE IPHONE FOR HIM. 92 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:15,709 ONLY THE BEST PEOPLE. THE MY PILLOW MAN, MIKE LINDELL, 93 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:19,713 NOT ONLY DEFENDING HIMSELF IN A HUGE LAWSUIT FROM DOMINION, HE 94 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:23,216 IS BEING ATTACKED BY O. J. SIMPSON. 95 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:28,755 >> THIS LINDELL GUY ‐‐ I GOT MY BEEF WITH HIM. 96 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:33,827 MY FAMILY AND SISTERS AND KIDS MUST HAVE BOUGHT 20 OR 30 OF 97 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:37,430 THOSE PILLOWS. NOT ONE OF THOSE PILLOWS IN ANY 98 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:44,204 OF OUR HOUSES. GO TO COSTCO. GO TO TARGET. 99 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:48,942 GET A GOOD PILLOW. I AM JUST SAYING. 100 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:56,750 >> JUST SO I HAVE IT STRAIGHT, O.J. IS COMPLAINING ABOUT SORE 101 00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:02,322 NECKS? IT FINALLY HAPPENED, IRONY HAS 102 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,957 PEAKED. ALL RIGHT. IT IS THURSDAY NIGHT. 103 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:07,460 AND THAT MEANS IT IS TIME TO BLEEP AND BLUR THE BIG TV 104 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,729 MOMENTS OF THE WEEK, WHETHER THEY NEED IT OR NOT. 105 00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:16,202 IT IS TIME FOR THIS WEEK IN UNNECESSARY CENSORSHIP. 106 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:20,573 >> THANKS FOR INVITING ME BACK. I AM GLAD TO KNOW MY [ BLEEP ] 107 00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:23,843 JOKES ON FRIDAY DID NOT SCARE ANYONE AWAY. 108 00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:25,512 >> THE [ BLEEP ] JOKES WERE THE BOMB. 109 00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:30,951 >> WE ARE NOT GO TO GIVE UP. 110 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:34,321 >> YOU [ BLEEP ] YOUR WIFE ON THE DRIVING RANGE. 111 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,991 >> YOU DON'T WANT TO KEEP REJECTING THE OFFERS OF 112 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:43,196 PROSECUTORS, ONE DAY YOU COULD WAKE UP WITH A HORSE'S 113 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:43,630 [ BLEEP ]. 114 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,765 >> IS IT TOO LATE FOR ‐‐ 115 00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:48,034 >> I AM ‐‐ IT WAS MY 116 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:50,103 [ BLEEP ] ‐‐ MY [ BLEEP ] GOT 117 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,738 STUCK IN MY UNDERWEAR. 118 00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:52,706 >> OH. 119 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:57,944 >> WHAT JESSE DOES IS THAT HE RESPONDS TO HIS MOM AND SAYS 120 00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:00,180 STOP [ BLEEP ]. IT GOES ON AND ON. 121 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,549 >> IT GOES ON QUITE A BIT. 122 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:07,554 >> YOU KNOW OVER THE YEARS PEOPLE ASKED ME, HEY MAN, DID 123 00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:14,661 YOU [ BLEEP ] GAY ATHLETES. OF COURSE I DID. 124 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:18,999 >> WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT. TRUMP'S FORMER ATTORNEY MICHAEL 125 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:23,236 COHEN IS WITH US, MUSIC FROM THE ISELY BROTHERS AND SNOOP DOGG. 126 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:26,639 CHRIS PRATT IS HERE. AND IT IS TIME TO ASK THREE 127 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:35,048 RIDICULOUS QUESTIONS, THIS TIME 128 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:44,591 OF ELIZA. 129 00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:48,194 WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST PART OF BEING IN HELL? 130 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,430 >> THE FUNNIEST PART OF BEING IN HELL? 131 00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:51,931 >> YEAH. 132 00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:56,036 >> I WOULD BE LAUGHING AT ALL OF THE OTHER JERKS THAT DESERVED IT 133 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,805 MORE THAT ARE ALSO THERE. 134 00:08:58,805 --> 00:08:59,973 >> Jimmy: STAND BY THE ENTRANCE. 135 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:04,277 >> MY SKIN IS BURNING BUT I AM COMFORTING TO KNOW YOUR SKIN IS 136 00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,679 BURNING AS WELL. 137 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,515 >> Jimmy: LOOK WHO'S HERE. 138 00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:09,015 >> YEAH. 139 00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:12,452 >> Jimmy: WHAT IS A NAME WHEN YOU HEAR IT YOU JUST KNOW THE 140 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:16,689 PERSON WILL BE ANNOYING? 141 00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:20,427 >> MATT. IT IS GOING TO BE GOOD OR BAD. 142 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:23,897 MATT. I DIDN'T HAVE TO THINK. PROBABLY THE EASIEST QUESTION I 143 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,199 WILL FIELD TODAY. 144 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:29,736 >> Jimmy: WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE SEVEN TOES OR NINE FINGERS. 145 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,505 >> SEVEN TOES. EXTRA SPEED. 146 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,040 >> Jimmy: DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD BE FASTER? 147 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:38,645 >> ALL OF THAT TORQUE IN THAT LITTLE TOE PROJECTING YOU. 148 00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:40,847 >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T HAVE THE LITTLE TOE. 149 00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:44,184 >> MY GOD. YOU ARE RIGHT. 150 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:49,656 >> Jimmy: I DIDN'T MEAN ON ONE FOOT. I MEANT TOTAL. 151 00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:54,594 >> I FORGOT HOW MANY TOES I HAD. BONUS TOES. 152 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:58,231 >> Jimmy: A TOAST TO BONUS TOES. 153 00:10:07,114 --> 00:10:09,249 >> Jimmy: TONIGHT, THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S FORMER ATTORNEY ‐‐ 154 00:10:09,249 --> 00:10:11,752 HE IS NOW HOST OF THE PODCAST "MEA CULPA." 155 00:10:11,752 --> 00:10:18,058 MICHAEL COHEN IS WITH US. THEN LATER, ICONIC MEETS CHRONIC. 156 00:10:18,058 --> 00:10:21,161 THEIR SONG TOGETHER IS CALLED "FRIENDS AND FAMILY." 157 00:10:21,161 --> 00:10:26,900 MUSIC FROM THE ISLEY BROTHERS WITH THE SOUND OF SNOOP DOGG. 158 00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:28,135 AS I MENTIONED, THIS WILL BE MY LAST SHOW FOR THE NEXT COUPLE 159 00:10:28,135 --> 00:10:29,569 MONTHS. I'M TAKING THE SUMMER OFF TO 160 00:10:29,569 --> 00:10:32,706 HELP FREE BRITNEY. I'M ACTUALLY GOING ON SUMMER 161 00:10:32,706 --> 00:10:37,811 VACATION. I'M TAKING A PAGE FROM THE 162 00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:40,347 CICADA PLAYBOOK. MY PLAN IS TO BURROW 163 00:10:40,347 --> 00:10:46,620 UNDERGROUND, AND THEN EMERGE REBORN AND READY TO ANNOY THE 164 00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:51,158 EVERYONE. WHILE I AM GONE WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY GREAT GUEST HOSTS 165 00:10:51,158 --> 00:10:53,894 LINED UP INCLUDING WANDA SYKES, NICK KROLL, DAVID SPADE, 166 00:10:53,894 --> 00:10:57,030 ANTHONY MACKIE, SARAH SILVERMAN, ARSENIO HALL, JULIE BOWEN, 167 00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:59,466 MAREN MORRIS, PHOEBE ROBINSON, NIALL HORAN, AND SOME SURPRISE 168 00:10:59,466 --> 00:11:06,039 NAMES TOO. 169 00:11:06,039 --> 00:11:11,244 I DON'T WANT TO SAY WHO BUT I THINK YOU AND O. J. ARE GO TO HIT 170 00:11:11,244 --> 00:11:12,746 IT OFF. AND ON TOP OF THAT, OUR ANNUAL 171 00:11:12,746 --> 00:11:14,314 NBA FINALS GAME NIGHT SPECIALS WILL BE HOSTED BY OUR DEAR 172 00:11:14,314 --> 00:11:15,382 FRIEND, ANTHONY ANDERSON, THIS YEAR. 173 00:11:15,382 --> 00:11:16,883 ANTHONY'S GUESTS WILL INCLUDE DWAYNE JOHNSON, 174 00:11:16,883 --> 00:11:18,585 CHANCE THE RAPPER, JASON MOMOA, JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, KEVIN GARNETT, 175 00:11:18,585 --> 00:11:26,459 AND MORE. SO THANK YOU TO ANTHONY. 176 00:11:26,459 --> 00:11:29,796 AND NO CRAZY PARTIES WHILE I AM GONE THIS YEAR. 177 00:11:29,796 --> 00:11:32,265 >> NEVER, I PROMISE YOU. 178 00:11:32,265 --> 00:11:35,302 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A 179 00:11:35,302 --> 00:11:39,372 HUGELY SUCCESSFUL MOVIE STAR, STAR LORD AND TAMER OF DINOSAURS. 180 00:11:39,372 --> 00:11:43,643 NEXT HE TRAVELS TO THE FUTURE TO PUNCH ALIENS IN THEIR VERSION OF 181 00:11:43,643 --> 00:11:47,514 A FACE IN "THE TOMORROW WAR." 182 00:11:47,514 --> 00:12:14,040 PLEASE WELCOME CHRIS PRATT. 183 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,810 >> WOW! JIMMY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 184 00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:19,145 LETTING ME BE A PART OF THIS INCREDIBLE NIGHT. 185 00:12:19,145 --> 00:12:21,715 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS LOVE HAVING YOU HERE. 186 00:12:21,715 --> 00:12:25,185 IT IS ALWAYS AN INCREDIBLE NIGHT. 187 00:12:25,185 --> 00:12:27,888 >> AND IT'S SO NICE TO BE ABLE TO CONGRATULATE YOU, IN PERSON, 188 00:12:27,888 --> 00:12:28,421 ON YOUR LAST SHOW. 189 00:12:28,421 --> 00:12:30,957 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. 190 00:12:30,957 --> 00:12:32,592 >> WOW, HOW MANY YEARS HAS IT BEEN? 191 00:12:32,592 --> 00:12:35,695 >> Jimmy: HAS WHAT BEEN? SINCE WE WENT ON THE AIR? 192 00:12:35,695 --> 00:12:36,696 >> DUH! 193 00:12:36,696 --> 00:12:37,097 >> Jimmy: 18 1/2. 194 00:12:37,097 --> 00:12:42,469 >> WOW. WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. 195 00:12:42,469 --> 00:12:46,706 THAT'S AWESOME MAN. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO 196 00:12:46,706 --> 00:12:51,344 DO WITHOUT YOU. 197 00:12:51,344 --> 00:12:52,679 >> Jimmy: I THINK THERE MIGHT BE SOME CONFUSION HERE. 198 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:54,581 >> AND BECAUSE THIS IS YOUR LAST‐EVER SHOW, I WANTED TO SEND 199 00:12:54,581 --> 00:12:57,550 YOU OFF IN STYLE. 200 00:12:57,550 --> 00:13:07,460 GUILLERMO?! 201 00:13:07,460 --> 00:13:11,598 AND DON'T WORRY PAL, NOW THAT YOU WON'T BE ON TV ANYMORE, YOU 202 00:13:11,598 --> 00:13:14,701 CAN HAVE AS MUCH OF THAT CAKE A! 203 00:13:14,701 --> 00:13:15,335 >> Jimmy: BUT I AM GOING TO BE 204 00:13:15,335 --> 00:13:25,946 ON TV AGAIN. 205 00:13:25,946 --> 00:13:28,515 >> YEAH. SURE YOU WILL. THAT IS THE SPIRIT. 206 00:13:28,515 --> 00:13:31,885 NEVER GIVE UP. BUT BEFORE YOU GO AWAY FOR GOOD, 207 00:13:31,885 --> 00:13:34,020 LET'S JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO REFLECT. 208 00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:36,656 I KNOW STUFF LIKE THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. 209 00:13:36,656 --> 00:13:40,560 BUT I HAD THE EDITORS PUT TOGETHER SOME OF THE GREATEST 210 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:46,833 MOMENTS FROM THE SHOW. AND WE WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH, 211 00:13:46,833 --> 00:13:47,166 FOREVER. 212 00:13:47,166 --> 00:13:48,635 >> Jimmy: BUT I'M NOT ‐‐ 213 00:13:48,635 --> 00:13:50,837 >> LET'S ROLL THAT NOW. 214 00:13:50,837 --> 00:13:56,509 ♪ I WILL REMEMBER YOU ♪ 215 00:13:56,509 --> 00:14:03,783 ♪ WILL YOU REMEMBER ME 216 00:14:03,783 --> 00:14:23,770 ♪ LET YOUR LIFE PASS YOU BY 217 00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:31,077 >> Jimmy: WOW. WOW. WELCOME, I GUESS. WOW. 218 00:14:31,077 --> 00:14:34,781 >> SO MANY INCREDIBLE MEMORIES, I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVE TO SAY 219 00:14:34,781 --> 00:14:35,114 GOOD‐BYE. 220 00:14:35,114 --> 00:14:38,151 >> Jimmy: THE THING IS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY GOOD‐BYE. 221 00:14:38,151 --> 00:14:42,222 IT IS MY LAST SHOW FOR THE SUMMER. 222 00:14:42,222 --> 00:14:45,992 >> OH, YOU ARE STAYING ON? 223 00:14:45,992 --> 00:14:49,095 >> Jimmy: YEAH. YES. 224 00:14:49,095 --> 00:14:49,662 >> WHY? 225 00:14:49,662 --> 00:14:53,767 >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHY? I LOVE MY JOB. 226 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,869 >> ALL RIGHT. COULD HAVE FOOLED ME. 227 00:14:55,869 --> 00:14:58,838 SO WHAT, YOU ARE JUST GOING ON VACATION? 228 00:14:58,838 --> 00:15:01,074 >> Jimmy: YEAH. SUMMER VACATION. 229 00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:03,777 >> GOD. GUILLERMO, DID YOU KNOW ABOUT 230 00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:04,110 THIS? 231 00:15:04,110 --> 00:15:07,680 >> YEAH. BUT I WANTED A PIECE OF CAKE. 232 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,550 >> UNBELIEVABLE. THIS IS UNREAL. 233 00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:13,520 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 234 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:23,263 YEAH. 235 00:15:23,263 --> 00:15:36,109 ♪ 236 00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:40,013 >> HE IS NOT ‐‐ HE IS NOT EVEN LEAVING. 237 00:15:40,013 --> 00:15:41,581 >> HE IS NOT LEAVING? 238 00:15:41,581 --> 00:15:43,616 >> YEAH. HE IS STAYING ON. 239 00:15:43,616 --> 00:15:46,352 >> Jimmy: YEAH. I'M COMING BACK. 240 00:15:46,352 --> 00:15:47,153 >> WHY? 241 00:15:47,153 --> 00:15:51,291 >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW. THIS WAS NOT MY RETIREMENT. 242 00:15:51,291 --> 00:15:55,128 >> CAN I AT LEAST FINISH THE SONG? 243 00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:57,831 >> Jimmy: NO. 244 00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,833 >> THAT [ BLEEP ] SUCKS. 245 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:03,603 >> Jimmy: KENNY G JUST CURSED IN OUR ROOM. 246 00:16:03,603 --> 00:16:10,477 >> CAN I AT LEAST GET A PICTURE? MY KIDS LOVE ""STAR WARS."" 247 00:16:10,477 --> 00:16:13,079 >> GUILLERMO, GET KENNY G THE 248 00:16:13,079 --> 00:16:15,949 [ BLEEP ] OUT OF THERE. 249 00:16:15,949 --> 00:16:17,584 >> I'M TAKING THE CAKE. 250 00:16:17,584 --> 00:16:27,227 >> Jimmy: YOU TAKE THE CAKE. 251 00:16:27,227 --> 00:16:28,862 >> YOU CAN'T EAT THIS NOW. 252 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:33,867 >> Jimmy: I CAN SEE YOU THINK CONFUSED, BUT YOU WOULD THINK MY 253 00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:37,237 STAFF WOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO MAKE A SIGN LIKE THAT. 254 00:16:37,237 --> 00:16:40,607 >> GET RID OF IT. WE DON'T NEED THE SIGN. 255 00:16:40,607 --> 00:16:47,480 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW THIS WILL BE ‐‐ THIS CAN NOW BE INSTEAD OF 256 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:51,451 MY RETIREMENT CAKE IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY CAKE. 257 00:16:51,451 --> 00:16:54,888 >> THANK YOU. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE. 258 00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:58,491 YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO WRITE THAT BIT FOR ME JUST TO GET ME A 259 00:16:58,491 --> 00:17:03,563 PIECE OF CAKE. YOU JUST GOT ME CAKE. 260 00:17:03,563 --> 00:17:05,698 >> Jimmy: YOU TAKE CAKE HOWEVER YOU CAN GET IT. 261 00:17:05,698 --> 00:17:06,966 >> THAT'S THE TRUTH. 262 00:17:06,966 --> 00:17:08,668 >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING? 263 00:17:08,668 --> 00:17:09,769 >> WELL. 264 00:17:09,769 --> 00:17:12,372 >> Jimmy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY. DID YOU HAVE A PARTY? 265 00:17:12,372 --> 00:17:16,009 >> THANKS, GUYS. IT IS STILL MY BIRTHDAY WEEK, SO 266 00:17:16,009 --> 00:17:17,577 YOU CAN CELEBRATE ME. 267 00:17:17,577 --> 00:17:20,780 >> Jimmy: THAT IS RIGHT. 268 00:17:20,780 --> 00:17:23,249 >> YEAH. WELL, I AM WORKING RIGHT NOW AND 269 00:17:23,249 --> 00:17:25,518 I WAS AT WORK ALL DAY ON MY BIRTHDAY. 270 00:17:25,518 --> 00:17:30,023 BUT WHEN I GOT HOME, KATHRYN PREPARED A MASSIVE DINNER, AND 271 00:17:30,023 --> 00:17:34,494 WE GOT TO HAVE A, YOU KNOW, A DINNER PARTY OF EIGHT PEOPLE. 272 00:17:34,494 --> 00:17:35,862 >> Jimmy: NICE. VERY NICE. 273 00:17:35,862 --> 00:17:42,268 >> IT WAS ON A TABLE I HAD NEVER EATEN ON BEFORE. 274 00:17:42,268 --> 00:17:46,272 BY NICK OFFERMAN. HE IS A WOOD WORKER. 275 00:17:46,272 --> 00:17:52,412 NICK MADE ME A TABLE. HE MADE ME A TABLE OUT OF A 276 00:17:52,412 --> 00:17:57,283 DOUGLAS FIR THAT IS LIKE 181 YEARS OLD. 277 00:17:57,283 --> 00:18:02,222 IT WOULD BE 183 IF IT WERE STILL ALIVE BUT CUT DOWN TWO YEARS AGO 278 00:18:02,222 --> 00:18:08,661 AND BORN THE SAME YEAR AS WILD BILL HICKOCK. 279 00:18:08,661 --> 00:18:12,599 IT HAS BEEN CONDITIONED. DOUGLAS FIR IS KIND OF A SOFT 280 00:18:12,599 --> 00:18:17,203 WOOD. HE CUT TWO MASSIVE PLANKS. HE DOES AMAZING WORK. 281 00:18:17,203 --> 00:18:22,775 WE GOT TO HAVE MY BIRTHDAY DINNER AT THE TABLE THAT NICK 282 00:18:22,775 --> 00:18:23,109 OFFERMAN‐MADE. 283 00:18:23,109 --> 00:18:27,146 >> Jimmy: THAT IS SO IMPRESSIVE WHEN SOMEONE IN HOLLYWOOD CAN DO 284 00:18:27,146 --> 00:18:27,580 SOMETHING. 285 00:18:27,580 --> 00:18:28,481 >> RIGHT. 286 00:18:28,481 --> 00:18:30,683 >> Jimmy: YOU CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT, RIGHT. 287 00:18:30,683 --> 00:18:33,353 >> YEAH. HOLLYWOOD TURNS PEOPLE INTO 288 00:18:33,353 --> 00:18:35,822 BEING COMPLETELY USELESS. 289 00:18:35,822 --> 00:18:43,763 >> Jimmy: INTO YOUNG CHILDREN. ANYTHING ELSE, DO NOT LOOK TO ME 290 00:18:43,763 --> 00:18:44,364 TO DO ANYTHING. 291 00:18:44,364 --> 00:18:48,635 >> Jimmy: AND WHAT KIND OF FOOD DID YOU HAVE? 292 00:18:48,635 --> 00:18:55,341 >> SHE USED THE GRILL TO SMOKE TWO BIG PORK BUTT ROASTS. 293 00:18:55,341 --> 00:19:00,346 SHE WAS SO MAD BECAUSE I WAS LIKE CAN YOU DO ‐‐ I WILL DO 294 00:19:00,346 --> 00:19:04,284 EVERYTHING BECAUSE THERE IS AN APP AND I CAN DO IT FROM MY 295 00:19:04,284 --> 00:19:07,854 PHONE. I WILL DO EVERYTHING FROM WORK. 296 00:19:07,854 --> 00:19:11,357 ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW, WE HAVE A TEN MONTH 297 00:19:11,357 --> 00:19:15,228 OLD BABY. SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE TAKING 12 298 00:19:15,228 --> 00:19:19,599 HOURS TO SMOKE PORK BUTT. I FORGOT WE CHANGED THE WI‐FI AT 299 00:19:19,599 --> 00:19:22,302 THE HOUSE. I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING FROM WORK. 300 00:19:22,302 --> 00:19:26,139 SHE HAD TO DO THE WHOLE THING FROM HOME AND DID A GREAT JOB. 301 00:19:26,139 --> 00:19:30,376 >> SHE SMOKED SOME BUTT FOR YOU, TOOK CARE OF THE BABY AND PUT IT 302 00:19:30,376 --> 00:19:34,714 ALL OUT ON THE TABLE. I HAVE TO ASK, DID YOUR 303 00:19:34,714 --> 00:19:37,583 FATHER‐IN‐LAW, DID HE GET YOU A PRESENT? 304 00:19:37,583 --> 00:19:38,551 >> HE DID. 305 00:19:38,551 --> 00:19:41,087 >> DO YOU THINK HE PICKED IT OUT HIMSELF? 306 00:19:41,087 --> 00:19:45,058 >> OF THE MANY THINGS THAT ARE SURPRISING TO ME ABOUT ARNOLD, 307 00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:50,263 HE IS AN INCREDIBLE GIFT GIVER. HE DOESN'T PASS IT OFF. 308 00:19:50,263 --> 00:19:54,434 REALLY BEAUTIFUL CIGAR BOX WITH ARTWORK FROM THE TOMORROW WAR 309 00:19:54,434 --> 00:19:57,670 WHICH OPENS ON AMAZON PRIME 310 00:19:57,670 --> 00:20:04,277 VIDEO JULY 2nd. 311 00:20:04,277 --> 00:20:09,649 IT IS MY PICTURE AND YOU OPEN IT UP. SIGNED HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS, 312 00:20:09,649 --> 00:20:11,217 LOVE ARNOLD. 313 00:20:11,217 --> 00:20:15,288 >> Jimmy: DID HE REALLY GET YOU A CIGAR BOX THAT SAYS THE 314 00:20:15,288 --> 00:20:17,690 TOMORROW WAR ON IT? 315 00:20:17,690 --> 00:20:18,224 >> YES. 316 00:20:18,224 --> 00:20:21,327 >> Jimmy: A PROMOTIONAL ITEM AND HE SIGNED IT. 317 00:20:21,327 --> 00:20:24,564 >> HE SIGNED IT. 318 00:20:24,564 --> 00:20:27,300 >> Jimmy: DID HE WRITE HIS LAST NAME? 319 00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:28,935 >> JUST ARNOLD. 320 00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:31,337 >> Jimmy: NOT DAD OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT? 321 00:20:31,337 --> 00:20:37,110 >> YEAH. IF HE WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT OUT. 322 00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:38,845 >> Jimmy: THAT IS GREAT. 323 00:20:38,845 --> 00:20:46,486 >> MY KIDS WILL BE LIKE THAT IS GRANDPA'S CIGAR BOX HE GAVE DAD. 324 00:20:46,486 --> 00:20:50,390 >> Jimmy: WE ARE GOING TO TAKE A BREAK AND COME BACK TO SEE THE 325 00:20:50,390 --> 00:20:54,193 MOVIE SO CELEBRATED THAT IT BECAME A CIGAR BOX RESIDING IN 326 00:20:54,193 --> 00:20:56,162 CHRIS PRATT'S HOME. "THE TOMORROW WAR." 327 00:20:56,162 --> 00:20:58,564 WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 328 00:21:36,582 --> 00:21:37,945 >> Jimmy: THAT IS CHRIS PRATT IN "THE TOMORROW WAR." 329 00:21:37,945 --> 00:21:41,482 NOW, IN THIS MOVIE YOU PLAY A SCIENCE TEACHER WHO TRAVELS 330 00:21:41,482 --> 00:21:44,351 THROUGH TIME TO FIGHT ALIENS. 331 00:21:44,351 --> 00:21:45,452 >> CORRECT. 332 00:21:45,452 --> 00:21:49,690 >> Jimmy: NOW MY SCIENCE TEACHER ‐‐ DO YOU HAVE A SCIENCE 333 00:21:49,690 --> 00:21:52,693 TEACHER IN HIGH SCHOOL? 334 00:21:52,693 --> 00:21:53,058 >> YEAH. 335 00:21:53,058 --> 00:21:56,964 >> Jimmy: MINE WAS NOT FIGHTING ALIENS. HIS NAME WAS MR. DOUGLAS. 336 00:21:56,964 --> 00:22:01,935 IF WE WERE LATE TO CLASS, YOU HAD TO STOP BY ARBY'S AND GET 337 00:22:01,935 --> 00:22:08,509 HIM A JAMOCHA SHAKE OR YOU WERE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE. 338 00:22:08,509 --> 00:22:11,712 MR. DOUGLAS WAS NOT GOING TO THE FUTURE OR FIGHTING ANYBODY. 339 00:22:11,712 --> 00:22:15,549 >> I HAD A REALLY COOL HIGH SCHOOL BIOLOGY TEACHER. 340 00:22:15,549 --> 00:22:18,085 HE WAS LIKE INDIANA JONES. 341 00:22:18,085 --> 00:22:19,153 >> Jimmy: REALLY? 342 00:22:19,153 --> 00:22:24,725 >> IN A TOWN OF 7,000 PEOPLE, HE WAS LIKE OUR INDIANA JONES. 343 00:22:24,725 --> 00:22:28,061 >> Jimmy: DID HE WEAR A FEDORA? 344 00:22:28,061 --> 00:22:31,698 >> ALWAYS HAD KNIVES ON HIM. SUPER INAPPROPRIATE FOR SCHOOL. 345 00:22:31,698 --> 00:22:34,234 >> Jimmy: SOUNDS LIKE HE SHOULD BE REMOVED. 346 00:22:34,234 --> 00:22:36,036 >> HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN, I DON'T KNOW. 347 00:22:36,036 --> 00:22:39,506 >> Jimmy: HE IS LUCKY INDIANA JONES CAME OUT, OTHERWSE HE 348 00:22:39,506 --> 00:22:41,275 WOULD BE A PSYCHO PATH. 349 00:22:41,275 --> 00:22:45,846 >> HE IS LIKE I DON'T WATCH TV. HE WAS GREAT. 350 00:22:45,846 --> 00:22:48,849 HE HAD COOL ARTIFACTS AND EXPERIMENTS. 351 00:22:48,849 --> 00:22:52,786 >> Jimmy: YOU SHOT THE MOVIE IN ICELAND, A PLACE I ALWAYS WANTED 352 00:22:52,786 --> 00:22:55,823 TO GO AND SEE. AND THE NORTHERN LIGHTS IS 353 00:22:55,823 --> 00:22:59,026 SOMETHING THAT IS REALLY LIKE IF THERE IS A BUCKET LIST IN MY 354 00:22:59,026 --> 00:23:01,462 BRAIN, THAT IS DEFINITELY IN THE TOP FIVE. 355 00:23:01,462 --> 00:23:02,362 >> YEAH. 356 00:23:02,362 --> 00:23:05,232 >> Jimmy: YOU WERE FORTUNATE ENOUGH AND ACTUALLY SHOT VIDEO 357 00:23:05,232 --> 00:23:05,833 OF IT. 358 00:23:05,833 --> 00:23:09,470 >> I WAS ABLE TO SEE THE NORTHERN LIGHTS UP CLOSE. 359 00:23:09,470 --> 00:23:14,107 IT WAS KIND OF MAGIC. OUR DAUGHTER WAS CONCEIVED IN 360 00:23:14,107 --> 00:23:17,377 ICELAND. I THINK IT IS DUE TO OUR EXPOSURE. 361 00:23:17,377 --> 00:23:20,614 >> Jimmy: LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE VIDEO AND YOU CAN TELL US 362 00:23:20,614 --> 00:23:24,785 ABOUT WHERE YOU WERE AND WHAT 363 00:23:24,785 --> 00:23:34,027 YOU SAW. 364 00:23:34,027 --> 00:23:35,929 SO PRETTY GOD. 365 00:23:35,929 --> 00:23:44,071 THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. 366 00:23:44,071 --> 00:23:51,845 >> SHE WAS PREGNANT. SHE WAS LIKE 15 MINUTES PREGNANT. 367 00:23:51,845 --> 00:23:53,714 >> Jimmy: DO YOU REALLY HELP PACK? 368 00:23:53,714 --> 00:23:58,151 THAT IS BAD FOR ME IF YOU DO. ARE YOU A HELPER WHEN IT COMES 369 00:23:58,151 --> 00:23:59,520 TO PACKING? 370 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:07,194 >> NO. NO. SOMETIMES. USUALLY MY JOB IS TO CLOSE IT 371 00:24:07,194 --> 00:24:11,632 AND ZIP IT. WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO THAT 372 00:24:11,632 --> 00:24:11,999 WITHOUT ME. 373 00:24:11,999 --> 00:24:15,702 >> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE THAT MOMENT YOU ARE GOING TO ‐‐ 374 00:24:15,702 --> 00:24:20,040 REALLY, REALLY WE ARE TRYING TO FORCE ALL OF THE STUFF INTO HERE. 375 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:24,778 >> I HAVE TO CLOSE IT ANOTHER 18 INCHES. 376 00:24:24,778 --> 00:24:27,648 THAT CAN'T BE GOOD FOR ANY OF THE STUFF. 377 00:24:27,648 --> 00:24:30,918 >> Jimmy: YOUR HIGH HEELS ARE ALL FLATS NOW. 378 00:24:30,918 --> 00:24:33,820 YOU SEEM LIKE YOU ARE ALWAYS OFF SHOOTING SOMETHING. 379 00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:35,689 WHAT ARE YOU SHOOTING RIGHT NOW? 380 00:24:35,689 --> 00:24:39,793 >> I AM WORKING ON A SHOW CALLED THE TERMINAL LIST HERE IN LOS 381 00:24:39,793 --> 00:24:47,534 ANGELES, BASED ON A BEST SELLING NOVEL BY JACK CARR, A DARK 382 00:24:47,534 --> 00:24:49,736 CONSPIRACY THRILLER, AND WE SHOOT IT HERE IN L. A. 383 00:24:49,736 --> 00:24:53,540 >> Jimmy: WHEN DO YOU SHOOT ANOTHER GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY 384 00:24:53,540 --> 00:24:53,873 SERIES? 385 00:24:53,873 --> 00:25:00,147 >> I WILL DO THE NEXT ONE ‐‐ YEAH. 386 00:25:00,147 --> 00:25:03,584 WE WILL BE SHOOTING AT THE END OF THIS YEAR AND BEGINNING OF 387 00:25:03,584 --> 00:25:05,619 NEXT YEAR. NOVEMBER TO APRIL. 388 00:25:05,619 --> 00:25:09,089 >> Jimmy: YOU CAN SAY NOTHING ABOUT IT I ASSUME? 389 00:25:09,089 --> 00:25:10,290 >> CORRECT. 390 00:25:10,290 --> 00:25:13,961 >> Jimmy: DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT YET? 391 00:25:13,961 --> 00:25:17,898 >> YEAH, I KNOW EVERYTHING. THE SCRIPT WAS WRITTEN YEARS AGO 392 00:25:17,898 --> 00:25:22,536 BECAUSE WE WERE GOING TO DO IT YEARS AGO AND DUE TO UNFORSEEN 393 00:25:22,536 --> 00:25:23,203 CIRCUMSTANCES. 394 00:25:23,203 --> 00:25:24,705 >> Jimmy: DID SOMETHING HAPPEN? 395 00:25:24,705 --> 00:25:30,644 >> I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED. 396 00:25:30,644 --> 00:25:32,946 BY THE GRACE OF GOD, WE WILL SHOOT IT. 397 00:25:32,946 --> 00:25:39,152 AND IT WILL BE DIRECTED BY JAMES 398 00:25:39,152 --> 00:25:42,255 GUNN. 399 00:25:42,255 --> 00:25:45,726 >> Jimmy: WELL, CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BABY AND ON THE MOVIE AND 400 00:25:45,726 --> 00:25:51,965 ON THE NEW TABLE. ALL BIG THINGS. CHRIS PRATT EVERYBODY. 401 00:25:51,965 --> 00:25:55,802 TOMORROW WAR PREMIERES A WEEK FROM TOMORROW ON AMAZON PRIME. 402 00:25:55,802 --> 00:25:56,303 WE WILL E RIGHT BACK WITH MICHAEL COHEN. 403 00:26:05,367 --> 00:26:08,403 >> Jimmy: MUSIC FROM THE ISELY BROTHERS WITH SNOOP DOGG IS ON 404 00:26:08,403 --> 00:26:11,239 THE WAY. THE NEXT GUEST IS THE LAST GUEST 405 00:26:11,239 --> 00:26:14,342 ON VIDEO CHAT AND FIRST UNDER HOUSE ARREST. 406 00:26:14,342 --> 00:26:21,983 HE HAS A PODCAST, MEA CULPA WITH MICHAEL COHEN. HELLO MICHAEL. 407 00:26:21,983 --> 00:26:24,085 >> JIMMY, HOW ARE YOU? 408 00:26:24,085 --> 00:26:25,854 >> Jimmy: I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 409 00:26:25,854 --> 00:26:29,190 IF YOU ARE EVER UNDER HOUSE ARREST, YOU PICKED THE RIGHT 410 00:26:29,190 --> 00:26:30,191 YEAR TO DO IT. 411 00:26:30,191 --> 00:26:32,661 >> YEAH. THAT IS PROBABLY TRUE. 412 00:26:32,661 --> 00:26:37,999 I WOULD RATHER BE WITH YOU THERE IN STUDIO SO I COULD DRESS LIKE 413 00:26:37,999 --> 00:26:41,169 CHRIS PRATT INSTEAD OF HAVING TO WEAR A JACKET AND TIE. 414 00:26:41,169 --> 00:26:46,808 I WOULD HAVE COME IN A T‐SHIRT TOO. 415 00:26:46,808 --> 00:26:48,810 >> Jimmy: OKAY. I HAVE A MILLION QUESTIONS FOR 416 00:26:48,810 --> 00:26:52,013 YOU AND I WANT TO START WITH A STORY IN THE NEWS THIS WEEK. 417 00:26:52,013 --> 00:26:56,985 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW THIS BUT TRUMP REPORTEDLY ASKED THE 418 00:26:56,985 --> 00:27:01,656 DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE IF THEY COULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE ‐L 419 00:27:01,656 --> 00:27:04,092 OF HIM. DOES THAT SOUND RIGHT TO YOU? 420 00:27:04,092 --> 00:27:07,062 >> YEAH. FIRST OF ALL, I SAW IT. 421 00:27:07,062 --> 00:27:12,467 I AM HOME CONFINEMENT AND LOCKED IN MY APARTMENT FOR 21 HOURS A 422 00:27:12,467 --> 00:27:15,837 DAY. THE ANSWER IS YEAH. THE GUY IS THIN‐SKINNED. 423 00:27:15,837 --> 00:27:19,341 EVERYBODY KNOWS IT. EVERY SINGLE THING BOTHERS HIM. 424 00:27:19,341 --> 00:27:23,912 YOU RECALL THAT TIME WITH BARAK OBAMA WHEN HE DESTROYED HIM AT 425 00:27:23,912 --> 00:27:25,880 THE WASHINGTON CORRESPONDENTS DINNER. 426 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:30,352 I SAID BOSS, QUESTION FOR YOU. WERE YOU OKAY. WERE YOU OKAY. 427 00:27:30,352 --> 00:27:34,389 NOTHING BOTHERS ME. NOTHING. HE LOOKED LIKE HE WANTED TO CRY. 428 00:27:34,389 --> 00:27:38,526 YOU KNOW IT GOES TO SHOW YOU EXACTLY THE THIN‐SKINNED NATURE 429 00:27:38,526 --> 00:27:39,527 OF THE MAN. 430 00:27:39,527 --> 00:27:41,863 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN DONALD TRUMP CRY? 431 00:27:41,863 --> 00:27:45,233 >> NO. BUT I HAVE SEEN HIM WITH HIS 432 00:27:45,233 --> 00:27:47,469 HAIR WET COMING OUT OF THE SHOWER. 433 00:27:47,469 --> 00:27:54,275 THAT IS NOT A PRETTY PICTURE EITHER. 434 00:27:54,275 --> 00:27:59,314 >> Jimmy: WERE YOU HAPPY OR SADDENED ABOUT THE NEWS THAT 435 00:27:59,314 --> 00:28:03,752 RUDY GIULIANI HAD HIS LICENSE TO PRACTICE LAW SUSPENDED. 436 00:28:03,752 --> 00:28:07,756 >> RUDY TURNS AROUND AND SAID I AM UPON NOT WORRIED ABOUT THE 437 00:28:07,756 --> 00:28:10,759 SUSPENSION ON MY LICENSE. OF COURSE HE IS NOT WORRIED. 438 00:28:10,759 --> 00:28:13,328 HE IS WORRIED ABOUT GOING TO PRISON. 439 00:28:13,328 --> 00:28:18,166 AND REMEMBER, YOU KNOW, IN PRISON NOBODY IS CHECKING YOUR 440 00:28:18,166 --> 00:28:20,268 CREDENTIALS. HE DOESN'T HAVE TO WORRY FOR 441 00:28:20,268 --> 00:28:23,338 THAT EITHER. THE BEST IS HIS IDIOT SON, 442 00:28:23,338 --> 00:28:28,043 ANDREW WHO TURNS OUT TO SAY I AM INTOURIATED. 443 00:28:28,043 --> 00:28:35,116 ANDREW, NO ONE CARES, RIGHT. I AM FINE WITH IT. 444 00:28:35,116 --> 00:28:38,053 AND THIS IDIOT WANTS TO RUN FOR GOVERNOR. 445 00:28:38,053 --> 00:28:40,221 >> Jimmy: YOU KNEW ALL OF THESE GUYS, RIGHT. 446 00:28:40,221 --> 00:28:44,926 THESE WERE GUYS YOU SOCIALIZED WITH AND NOW WORKED WITH AND NOW 447 00:28:44,926 --> 00:28:48,797 THEY ALL COALESCED AGAINST YOU AND YOU ARE AGAINST THEM AS WELL. 448 00:28:48,797 --> 00:28:50,899 >> WELL, YEAH. I KNOW MOST OF THEM. 449 00:28:50,899 --> 00:28:56,371 THE LAST TIME I SAW ANDREW WAS GIVING A GOLF LESSON AT ONE OF 450 00:28:56,371 --> 00:28:58,506 TRUMP'S CLUBS. 451 00:28:58,506 --> 00:29:02,243 >> Jimmy: OUT OF ALL OF THE LOW‐LIVES IN TRUMP LAND, THE 452 00:29:02,243 --> 00:29:03,411 LOWEST. RANK THE TOP THREE. 453 00:29:03,411 --> 00:29:06,981 >> YOU HAVE TO START WITH THE BIG GUY HIMSELF, DONALD, 454 00:29:06,981 --> 00:29:13,521 PROBABLY THE BIGGEST LOW‐LIFE. YOU HAVE ALLEN WEISSELBERG AND 455 00:29:13,521 --> 00:29:19,494 THEN YOU HAVE MATTHEW CALAMARI 456 00:29:19,494 --> 00:29:25,166 AND EQUAL ARE THE THREE KIDS, JARED, AND THEN IT IS ONE BIG 457 00:29:25,166 --> 00:29:29,437 GIANT FAMILY OF GRIFT. THERE IS NOT ONE OF THEM THAT 458 00:29:29,437 --> 00:29:32,006 HAS A REDEEMING VALUE. THEY DON'T CARE. 459 00:29:32,006 --> 00:29:38,513 AS A FAMILY AND AS A INSTITUTION THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE OR 460 00:29:38,513 --> 00:29:40,482 ANYTHING OTHER THAN THEMSELVES. 461 00:29:40,482 --> 00:29:44,419 >> Jimmy: IT MUST HAVE HURT YOU DEEPLY WHEN THEY TURNED ON YOU. 462 00:29:44,419 --> 00:29:47,555 RIDICULOUSLY LOYAL TO THE POINT WHERE YOU DID ILLEGAL THINGS AND 463 00:29:47,555 --> 00:29:51,226 LIED ON BEHALF OF DONALD TRUMP. ONCE THE FBI RAIDED YOUR 464 00:29:51,226 --> 00:29:54,028 APARTMENT, THAT WAS IT FOR YOU GUYS? 465 00:29:54,028 --> 00:29:57,465 >> NOT PARTICULARLY. TRUMP CALLED ME THAT NIGHT THE 466 00:29:57,465 --> 00:30:02,337 WAY A MOB BOSS WOULD CALL ONE OF HIS UNDERLINGS SAYING I GOT YOU. 467 00:30:02,337 --> 00:30:04,539 YOU ARE PROTECTED. EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. 468 00:30:04,539 --> 00:30:08,276 NOTHING WILL BE HAPPENING. STAY ON COURSE. STAY ON MESSAGE. 469 00:30:08,276 --> 00:30:10,845 WE'RE ALL GOOD. THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I EVER 470 00:30:10,845 --> 00:30:15,216 HEARD FROM HIM. 471 00:30:15,216 --> 00:30:18,319 >> Jimmy: DID HE LIE EVERY DAY. WAS THERE SOMETHING THAT 472 00:30:18,319 --> 00:30:20,555 HAPPENED PREVIOUS TO HIS POLITICAL LIFE? 473 00:30:20,555 --> 00:30:24,058 >> EVERY SINGLE DAY. NOT A DAY THAT WENT BY THERE 474 00:30:24,058 --> 00:30:28,263 WASN'T A LIE ABOUT SOMETHING. IN MY BOOK "DISLOYAL" I TALK 475 00:30:28,263 --> 00:30:32,367 ABOUT THE FIRST TIME I MET HIM. HE LIED TO MY FACE. 476 00:30:32,367 --> 00:30:34,769 I BOUGHT AN APARTMENT IN ONE OF HIS BUILDINGS. 477 00:30:34,769 --> 00:30:38,706 THE FIRST THING OUT OF HIS MOUTH IS I GAVE YOU A GREAT DEAL. 478 00:30:38,706 --> 00:30:44,179 I PAID MARKET PRICE. I SAID TO HIM YOU WANT TO BUY IT 479 00:30:44,179 --> 00:30:48,583 BACK, I WILL SELL YOU IT BACK FOR WHAT I PAID FOR IT. 480 00:30:48,583 --> 00:30:52,053 HE SAID NO. YOU GOT A GREAT DEAL. 481 00:30:52,053 --> 00:30:54,656 >> Jimmy: WHAT IS THE DUMBEST OF LEAST CONSEQUENCE? 482 00:30:54,656 --> 00:30:57,125 >> HARD TO SAY. ALMOST EVERYTHING THAT CAME OUT 483 00:30:57,125 --> 00:31:01,362 OF HIS MOUTH WAS ACTUALLY STUPID. MANY OF US HAD TO SPEND SO MUCH 484 00:31:01,362 --> 00:31:06,935 TIME EACH AND EVERY DAY COVERING UP. 485 00:31:06,935 --> 00:31:14,509 LET'S TALK ABOUT THE ‐‐ WE KNOW 486 00:31:14,509 --> 00:31:19,280 THERE WERE NO BONE SPURS. WE KNOW THAT IS A LIE. 487 00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:23,718 >> Jimmy: HE CLAIMED THE REASON HE WASN'T ABLE TO GO ON ACTIVE 488 00:31:23,718 --> 00:31:27,255 MILITARY SERVICE WAS BECAUSE HE HAD BONE SPURS. 489 00:31:27,255 --> 00:31:32,660 HE WAS ABLE TO GET OUT OF THE DRAFT. YOU ARE SAYING IT NEVER 490 00:31:32,660 --> 00:31:32,993 HAPPENED. 491 00:31:32,993 --> 00:31:36,731 >> WE ARE TALKING ABOUT VIETNAM. IT NEVER STOPPED HIM FROM 492 00:31:36,731 --> 00:31:40,501 PLAYING FIVE ROUNDS OF GOLF A WEEK OR RUNNING TO THE 493 00:31:40,501 --> 00:31:46,641 McDONALD'S FOR THE TWO FOR ONE BIG MAC SPECIAL, RIGHT. 494 00:31:46,641 --> 00:31:51,913 AND JIMMY, THE PART THAT BOTHERED ME THE MOST ABOUT IT IS 495 00:31:51,913 --> 00:31:56,417 AFTER WE WOULD MEET A WOUNDED VETERAN, THE ONLY THING THIS 496 00:31:56,417 --> 00:32:00,321 IDIOT WOULD TURN AROUND AND SAY IS WHY WOULD ANYBODY GO TO WAR. 497 00:32:00,321 --> 00:32:02,891 LOOK WHAT HAPPENED. LOOK HOW THEY ARE COMING BACK. 498 00:32:02,891 --> 00:32:07,295 NOT ME. I WOULDN'T DO IT. THAT IS WHY IN MY HOUSE 499 00:32:07,295 --> 00:32:10,465 OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE, I LOOKED STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA AND 500 00:32:10,465 --> 00:32:14,903 FOUND IT INTERESTING WHILE I WAS DOING THE SPEECH HE WAS THERE IN 501 00:32:14,903 --> 00:32:18,139 VIETNAM WITH KIM JONG UN. 502 00:32:18,139 --> 00:32:20,775 >> Jimmy: YOU TOLERATED THIS FOR A LONG TIME AND YOU KNEW WHAT 503 00:32:20,775 --> 00:32:25,480 WAS GOING ON AND KEPT WORKING FOR THE GUY AND LYING ON HIS 504 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:25,845 BEHALF. 505 00:32:25,845 --> 00:32:29,150 >> I DON'T WANT TO SAY I WAS LYING ON HIS BEHALF AS MUCH AS 506 00:32:29,150 --> 00:32:31,886 TAKING ADVANTAGE OF INDIVIDUALS BECAUSE OF, YOU KNOW, HIS NATURE 507 00:32:31,886 --> 00:32:36,291 AND BECAUSE OF THE THINGS THAT I WAS TASKED WITH. 508 00:32:36,291 --> 00:32:43,331 IN THE BOOK I TALK ABOUT THE PAINT ISSUE WHERE WE GOT 509 00:32:43,331 --> 00:32:46,567 $200,000 WORTH OF FREE PAINT. THESE ARE THE STUPID THINGS HE 510 00:32:46,567 --> 00:32:50,772 WOULD HAVE, YOU KNOW, MYSELF AND OTHER LAWYERS IN THE COMPANY GO 511 00:32:50,772 --> 00:32:51,172 FOR. 512 00:32:51,172 --> 00:32:54,742 >> Jimmy: IF YOU KNOW HE DOES NOT HAVE BONE SPURS AND THAT IS 513 00:32:54,742 --> 00:32:58,646 WHY HE AVOIDED VIETNAM AND YOU SAY BONE SPURS. 514 00:32:58,646 --> 00:33:02,350 LISTEN, THAT'S LYING. MICHAEL, THAT IS LYING. 515 00:33:02,350 --> 00:33:06,120 >> I AGREE. THAT IS A LIE. 516 00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:09,223 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO ASK YOU 517 00:33:09,223 --> 00:33:16,397 ABOUT MATT GAETZ. 518 00:33:16,397 --> 00:33:19,434 DOES YOUR WIFE AND FATHER‐IN‐LAW KNOW ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS. 519 00:33:19,434 --> 00:33:24,605 I WONDER IF SHE WILL REMAIN FAITHFUL WHILE YOU WERE IN 520 00:33:24,605 --> 00:33:26,708 PRISON. WAS THAT TRUMP SPEAKING THROUGH 521 00:33:26,708 --> 00:33:31,346 MATT GAETZ OR JUST MATT? 522 00:33:31,346 --> 00:33:38,119 >> THAT IS MATT INGRATEIATING HIMSELF. THAT IS JUST A PURE 523 00:33:38,119 --> 00:33:41,589 DEFLECTION, PATHETIC AS AN INDIVIDUAL AND YET PEOPLE VOTED 524 00:33:41,589 --> 00:33:46,761 FOR HIM. I TRIED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT 525 00:33:46,761 --> 00:33:54,135 AMERICA SEES IN INDIVIDUALS LIKE THE MATT GAETZ, JOSH HAWLEY, 526 00:33:54,135 --> 00:33:57,672 MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE. IF ANY OF THEM ARE WATCHING THE 527 00:33:57,672 --> 00:33:59,407 SHOW, TIME TO THINK ABOUT AMERICA. 528 00:33:59,407 --> 00:34:02,176 THESE PEOPLE ARE GO TO DESTROY THE COUNTRY. 529 00:34:02,176 --> 00:34:07,348 >> Jimmy: IF TRUMP GOES TO JAIL WILL MELANIA WAIT FOR HIM? 530 00:34:07,348 --> 00:34:14,022 >> I DON'T THINK SHE IS WAITING FOR HIM RIGHT NOW. 531 00:34:14,022 --> 00:34:16,057 >> Jimmy: IS THIS GOING TO BE THE ONE? 532 00:34:16,057 --> 00:34:20,294 I KNOW YOU SAID YOU EXPECT IN THE NEXT 30 TO 60 DAYS SOMETHING 533 00:34:20,294 --> 00:34:24,832 WILL HAPPEN THAT TRUMP WILL BE CHARGED WITH SOMETHING. 534 00:34:24,832 --> 00:34:27,869 YOU WENT TO JAIL. RUDY MIGHT GO TO JAIL. 535 00:34:27,869 --> 00:34:30,738 HIS LAWYERS ALL SEEMED TO GET A PUNISHMENT. 536 00:34:30,738 --> 00:34:33,775 HOW IS THIS GUY ABLE TO DODGE IT? 537 00:34:33,775 --> 00:34:36,377 >> WHEN IT COMES TO THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE, AND I 538 00:34:36,377 --> 00:34:40,448 SAID IT IN MANY, MANY TWEETS. THE WHEELS OF JUSTICE TURN 539 00:34:40,448 --> 00:34:42,917 SLOWLY BUT EVENTUALLY TURN FULL CIRCLE. 540 00:34:42,917 --> 00:34:44,919 UNDERSTAND YOU ARE NOT JUST FIGHTING ANYBODY. 541 00:34:44,919 --> 00:34:48,456 YOU ARE FIGHTING SOMEBODY THAT HAS MONEY BEHIND HIM AND THE 542 00:34:48,456 --> 00:34:53,127 FORMER POWER OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. 543 00:34:53,127 --> 00:34:55,463 HE WILL FIGHT LIKE THE DOG THAT HE IS. 544 00:34:55,463 --> 00:35:00,234 HE IS HIRING LAWYERS, I AM NOT IMPRESSED WITH ANY OF THE 545 00:35:00,234 --> 00:35:02,703 LAWYERS HE HIRED. HERE IS WHERE HE IS IN TROUBLE. 546 00:35:02,703 --> 00:35:05,173 HE IS IN TROUBLE. ALLEN WEISSELBERG. 547 00:35:05,173 --> 00:35:10,244 WEISSELBERG'S KIDS, MATT CALAMARI. RUDY GIULIANI. 548 00:35:10,244 --> 00:35:16,651 THEY ARE ALL IN TROUBLE BECAUSE THERE IS DOCUMENTARY EVIDENCE IN 549 00:35:16,651 --> 00:35:23,658 THEIR POSSESSION ONE OF THEM WILL FLIP TO SAVE THEMSELVES AND 550 00:35:23,658 --> 00:35:28,696 WHEN YOU GET WEISSELBERG, YOU DON'T NEED CALAMARI AND THEY 551 00:35:28,696 --> 00:35:32,667 DON'T NEED EITHER BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE DOCUMENTS TO PROVE THE 552 00:35:32,667 --> 00:35:35,336 ILLEGALITIES DONE BY TRUMP. 553 00:35:35,336 --> 00:35:40,441 >> Jimmy: I LOVE HOW MANY TIMES YOU SAID CALAMARI. 554 00:35:40,441 --> 00:35:45,613 THANK YOU, MICHAEL. HE HAS GOT STORMY DANIELS ON ONE 555 00:35:45,613 --> 00:35:47,515 EPISODE. THAT IS QUITE A CONVERSATION. 556 00:35:47,515 --> 00:35:50,551 THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH US. WE WILL BE BACK WITH ISELY 557 00:35:50,551 --> 00:35:51,882 BROTHERS AND SNOOP DOGG. 558 00:35:57,928 --> 00:35:59,364 >>> THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY 559 00:35:59,364 --> 00:36:02,934 MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 560 00:36:02,934 --> 00:36:05,370 IT IS A GOOD TIME FOR SOME GOOD MUSIC. THE SONG IS CALLED 561 00:36:05,370 --> 00:36:07,706 "FRIENDS AND FAMILY," WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM THE SMOOTH 562 00:36:07,706 --> 00:36:08,173 SOUNDS OF SNOOP DOGG, 563 00:36:08,173 --> 00:36:21,820 THE ISLEY BROTHERS! 564 00:36:21,820 --> 00:36:22,354 ♪ BREAK OUT THE FOOD AND 565 00:36:22,354 --> 00:36:26,291 THE DRINKS IT'S GONNA BE A PARTY WELL 566 00:36:26,291 --> 00:36:27,893 TURN UP THE MUSIC REAL ♪ 567 00:36:27,893 --> 00:36:29,928 ♪ LOUD INVITE EVERYBODY 568 00:36:29,928 --> 00:36:33,098 WELL GO RIGHT 'HEAD AND SMOKE AND PLAY SOME CARDS 569 00:36:33,098 --> 00:36:36,735 JUST MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME ♪ 570 00:36:36,735 --> 00:36:37,803 ♪ YEAH IT'S OKAY TO TAKE 571 00:36:37,803 --> 00:36:42,474 SOMEBODY'S HAND AND GET YOUR GROOVE ON 572 00:36:42,474 --> 00:36:43,008 WE'RE ALL UP IN HERE WOAH ♪ 573 00:36:43,008 --> 00:36:43,475 ♪ TIMING COULDN'T BE 574 00:36:43,475 --> 00:36:47,112 BETTER YEAH I LOVE TO SEE MY PEOPLE COME 575 00:36:47,112 --> 00:36:49,815 TOGETHER TALKIN' 'BOUT ♪ 576 00:36:49,815 --> 00:36:51,783 ♪ FRIENDS YEAH FRIENDS 577 00:36:51,783 --> 00:36:55,954 OH AND FAMILY 578 00:36:55,954 --> 00:37:01,226 OH OH OH OH OH OH I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT FRIENDS ♪ 579 00:37:01,226 --> 00:37:05,797 ♪ FRIENDS AND FAMILY 580 00:37:05,797 --> 00:37:09,868 OH OH OH OH OH OH OH NOW EVERYONE IS GETTING ALONG 581 00:37:09,868 --> 00:37:10,201 YEAH ♪ 582 00:37:10,201 --> 00:37:13,105 ♪ THE FEELING IN HERE IS 583 00:37:13,105 --> 00:37:15,807 SO AWESOME WELL WHY DON'T WE JUST GO ON AND 584 00:37:15,807 --> 00:37:16,308 CALL THIS PARTY A WORLD ♪ 585 00:37:16,308 --> 00:37:17,275 ♪ REUNION? 586 00:37:17,275 --> 00:37:20,345 YEAH LET'S REMINISCE ON ALL OF THE 587 00:37:20,345 --> 00:37:20,912 TIMES WE SHARED THROUGH ♪ 588 00:37:20,912 --> 00:37:22,948 ♪ ALL THE YEARS WOAH 589 00:37:22,948 --> 00:37:24,416 LET'S MAKE A TOAST TO THE ONES THAT WE LOVE AND WE MISS 590 00:37:24,416 --> 00:37:27,152 AND COULD NOT BE HERE YEAH ♪ 591 00:37:27,152 --> 00:37:28,720 ♪ WE'RE ALL UP IN HERE 592 00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:33,959 WOAH‐OH TIMING COULDN'T BE BETTER YEAH 593 00:37:33,959 --> 00:37:35,861 I LOVE TO SEE MY PEOPLE ♪ 594 00:37:35,861 --> 00:37:37,095 ♪ COME TOGETHER 595 00:37:37,095 --> 00:37:43,301 SKIP AD TALKIN' 'BOUT FRIENDS YEAH FRIENDS ♪ 596 00:37:43,301 --> 00:37:46,404 ♪ OH AND FAMILY 597 00:37:46,404 --> 00:37:48,974 OH OH OH OH OH OH I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT FRIENDS 598 00:37:48,974 --> 00:37:53,145 FRIENDS AND FAMILY ♪ 599 00:37:53,145 --> 00:37:57,816 ♪ OH OH OH OH OH OH OH 600 00:37:57,816 --> 00:37:59,451 ALTHOUGH WE DIDN'T HAVE MUCH WE STILL HAD EACH OTHER 601 00:37:59,451 --> 00:38:01,453 AND WHAT WE WENT THROUGH ♪ 602 00:38:01,453 --> 00:38:05,123 ♪ WE WENT THROUGH IT 603 00:38:05,123 --> 00:38:07,192 TOGETHER WELL WE STICK TOGETHER SAID 604 00:38:07,192 --> 00:38:10,295 THROUGH THICK OR THIN ♪ 605 00:38:10,295 --> 00:38:13,865 ♪ I THANK GOD FOR FAMILY 606 00:38:13,865 --> 00:38:33,718 AND ALL OUR DAY ONE FRIENDS 607 00:38:33,718 --> 00:38:34,820 DO YOUR TWO‐STEP NOW TAKE ♪ 608 00:38:34,820 --> 00:38:35,754 ♪ IT TO THE LEFT YEAH 609 00:38:35,754 --> 00:38:36,822 LEFT UH LEFT YEAH LEFT UH DO YOUR TWO‐STEP AND TAKE 610 00:38:36,822 --> 00:38:37,823 IT TO THE RIGHT UH‐HUH ♪ 611 00:38:37,823 --> 00:38:38,290 ♪ RIGHT UH‐HUH RIGHT 612 00:38:38,290 --> 00:38:39,524 UH‐HUH RIGHT YEAH I SHUFFLE MY FEET AND MOVE 613 00:38:39,524 --> 00:38:40,025 TO THE LEFT OOH ♪ 614 00:38:40,025 --> 00:38:40,525 ♪ I CHECK MY OUTFIT I'M 615 00:38:40,525 --> 00:38:43,628 SO FRESH TO DEATH HAND MY DRINK TO WIFEY AND 616 00:38:43,628 --> 00:38:44,663 SIT MY CUP DOWN ♪ 617 00:38:44,663 --> 00:38:45,197 ♪ NOW THE WHOLE FAM‐BAM 618 00:38:45,197 --> 00:38:48,300 GETTIN' DOWN I MEAN I MEAN I JUST HAD A 619 00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:49,367 PLATE OF THEM GREENS ♪ 620 00:38:49,367 --> 00:38:49,901 ♪ I'M ON THE DANCE FLOOR 621 00:38:49,901 --> 00:38:53,538 GROOVIN' LIKE A DANCING MACHINE I GOT MY MIND ON MY MONEY ♪ 622 00:38:53,538 --> 00:38:54,039 ♪ LIKE I USUALLY DO 623 00:38:54,039 --> 00:38:57,142 I WANNA BE LIVIN' FOR THE LOVE OF YOU 624 00:38:57,142 --> 00:38:58,210 SEE IT'S YOUR THING SO DO ♪ 625 00:38:58,210 --> 00:38:59,711 ♪ WHAT YOU WANNA DO 626 00:38:59,711 --> 00:39:01,279 'CAUSE YOU GON' HAVE A GOOD TIME WHEN YOU IN FRONT OF 627 00:39:01,279 --> 00:39:01,847 SNOOP AND THAT'S FOR SURE ♪ 628 00:39:01,847 --> 00:39:02,347 ♪ THOUGH 629 00:39:02,347 --> 00:39:05,483 MY MAMA SAY STOP THE MUSIC 'CAUSE SHE WANNA TAKE A PHOTO 630 00:39:05,483 --> 00:39:06,518 SO WE OBLIGE AND STEP TO ♪ 631 00:39:06,518 --> 00:39:08,053 ♪ THE SIDE COME ON COME ON 632 00:39:08,053 --> 00:39:10,655 NOW THE WHOLE FAM DOIN' THE ELECTRIC SLIDE 633 00:39:10,655 --> 00:39:12,224 BRING IT IN Y'ALL ♪ 634 00:39:12,224 --> 00:39:13,225 ♪ LIKE THAT ONE TWO 635 00:39:13,225 --> 00:39:14,125 ONE TWO UNCLE RON WHAT YOU WANT 'EM TO DO? 636 00:39:14,125 --> 00:39:15,894 NOW YOU GOT IT ♪ 637 00:39:15,894 --> 00:39:18,496 ♪ LET'S DO IT AGAIN LIKE 638 00:39:18,496 --> 00:39:19,898 FRIENDS YEAH FRIENDS OH AND FAMILY YEAH 639 00:39:19,898 --> 00:39:27,339 OH OH OH OH OH OH FAMILY ♪ 640 00:39:27,339 --> 00:39:27,873 ♪ I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT 641 00:39:27,873 --> 00:39:35,580 FRIENDS OH FRIENDS OH AND FAMILY OH OH OH OH OH OH ♪ 642 00:39:35,580 --> 00:39:36,047 ♪ FAMILY I'M TALKIN' 643 00:39:36,047 --> 00:39:43,421 'BOUT FAMILY DO YOU REMEMBER? DO YOU REMEMBER? ♪ 644 00:39:43,421 --> 00:39:48,693 ♪ DO YOU REMEMBER? 645 00:39:48,693 --> 00:39:53,365 DO YOU REMEMBER? YEAH OH I'M TALKIN' ABOUT ♪ 646 00:39:53,365 --> 00:39:54,866 ♪ FRIENDS 647 00:39:54,866 --> 00:40:02,173 FRIENDS AND FAMILY 648 00:40:02,173 --> 00:40:06,811 WOAH OH OH LET'S STAY TOGETHER ♪ 649 00:40:06,811 --> 00:40:08,847 ♪ HEY WE GOTTA STAY 650 00:40:08,847 --> 00:40:09,881 TOGETHER HEY GOTTA STAY TOGETHER 651 00:40:09,881 --> 00:40:18,290 HEY STAY TOGETHER ♪ 652 00:40:18,290 --> 00:40:19,791 >>> THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY 653 00:40:19,791 --> 00:40:22,906 MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 654 00:40:22,906 --> 00:40:26,643 >> Jimmy: THANKS TO CHRIS PRATT, MICHAEL COHEN, 655 00:40:26,643 --> 00:40:31,448 KENNY G AND ISELY BROTHERS. I WILL SEE YOU AFTER LABOR DAY 656 00:40:31,448 --> 00:40:34,585 UNLESS I FALL IN THE GRAND CANYON IN WHICH CASE I WILL MISS 657 00:40:34,585 --> 00:40:38,085 YOU TOO. GOOD NIGHT.