1 00:00:00,033 --> 00:00:02,437 >> Announcer: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!" 2 00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:06,341 TONIGHT, QUENTIN TARANTINO, ILIZA SHLESINGER, AND MUSIC FROM 3 00:00:06,341 --> 00:00:09,744 LUKAS NELSON & PROMISE OF THE REAL. 4 00:00:09,744 --> 00:00:13,314 AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 5 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:19,454 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 6 00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:25,360 >> Jimmy: OH, THAT'S VERY NICE, THANK YOU. LOOK AT THIS. 7 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:31,399 GREAT TO BE HERE TONIGHT. 8 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:36,504 I'M JIMMY. I'M THE HOST. THANK YOU. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. 9 00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:40,742 THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS OUR SECOND NIGHT WITH A 10 00:00:40,742 --> 00:00:42,377 HALF‐FULL ‐‐ IS THIS AUDIENCE HALF‐FULL OR HALF‐EMPTY? 11 00:00:42,377 --> 00:00:45,246 I GUESS THAT DEPENDS ON HOW YOU LOOK AT LIFE. REALLY. 12 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:47,882 WE HAVE 89 VACCINATED PEOPLE IN OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE. 13 00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:51,486 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 14 00:00:51,486 --> 00:00:56,157 IT'S WEIRD HAVING HALF AN AUDIENCE. 15 00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:59,794 IT'S LIKE THANOS SNAPPED HIS FINGERS AND KILLED THE REST OF 16 00:00:59,794 --> 00:01:01,562 YOU. SPEAKING OF THANOS, WE GOT AN 17 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:05,233 INTERESTING BIT OF TID. THIS MORNING, ABOUT THE FORMER 18 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:10,405 PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. THE ORANGE ONE. YOU REMEMBER HIM? 19 00:01:10,405 --> 00:01:11,272 [ LAUGHTER ] 20 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:16,177 THE DAILY BEAST SAYS THAT, IN 2019, DONALD TRUMP WANTED THE 21 00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:22,884 GOVERNMENT TO INVESTIGATE, GUESS WHO, GUILLERMO? ME. 22 00:01:22,884 --> 00:01:23,584 >> WHY? 23 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:28,489 >> Jimmy: LOOK AT THIS, "ACCORDING TO TWO PEOPLE 24 00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:29,724 FAMILIAR WITH THE MATTER, TRUMP ASKED ADVISERS AND LAWYERS IN 25 00:01:29,724 --> 00:01:32,160 EARLY 2019 ABOUT WHAT THE FEDERAL COMMUNICATIONS 26 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,628 COMMISSION, THE COURTS SYSTEMS, AND MOST CONFUSINGLY TO SOME 27 00:01:33,628 --> 00:01:34,662 TRUMP LIEUTENANTS. THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE COULD 28 00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:37,999 DO TO PROBE OR MITIGATE SNL, JIMMY KIMMEL, AND OTHER LATE 29 00:01:37,999 --> 00:01:40,568 NIGHT COMEDY MISCHIEF MAKERS." 30 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:40,901 [ LAUGHTER ] 31 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:50,044 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 32 00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:53,114 I DON'T THEM PROBING ME. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? 33 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:56,084 PRESIDENT SNOWFLAKE ASKED TO SEND THE AUTHORITIES IN TO STOP 34 00:01:56,084 --> 00:01:57,518 US FROM MAKING FUN OF HIM. NOT ONLY THAT, HE WANTED TO MAKE 35 00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,853 GUILLERMO PAY FOR THE WALL. 36 00:01:58,853 --> 00:02:00,221 [ LAUGHTER ] 37 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:04,892 >> NO WAY, NO WAY, NO WAY. I NO PAYING FOR NOTHING. 38 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,595 >> Jimmy: THE REPORT GOES ON TO SAY "TO THOSE 39 00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:08,830 WHO HEARD IT, TRUMP'S INQUIRIES INTO WHAT FEDERAL REGULATIONS 40 00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:13,099 COULD BE USED TO BUST THE LIKES OF KIMMEL AND SNL WAS MORE OF A 41 00:02:13,099 --> 00:02:16,569 NUISANCE THAN A CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS." 42 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:20,640 TO ME IT FEELS MORE LIKE A CRISIS THAN A NUISANCE, I DON'T 43 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:24,844 KNOW. LITTLE DID I KNOW, I'M UP HERE 44 00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:27,080 GOOFING ON HIM, HE'S ASKING THE FEDS TO DO WHO KNOWS WHAT? 45 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:32,185 AND WHEN HE WAS TOLD THERE WAS NO LEGAL CASE TO BE MADE, TRUMP 46 00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:38,825 CAN'T STOP COMEDIANS FROM MAKING FUN OF YOU IF YOUR PRESIDENT 47 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:39,659 TRUMP ASKED, "CAN SOMETHING ELSE BE 48 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:40,660 DONE ABOUT IT?" BASICALLY, TRUMP WANTED TO TURN 49 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,761 THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE INTO ‐‐ REMEMBER ON THE OLD 50 00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:43,129 "BATMAN" SHOW, WHEN THE PENGUIN HAD THOSE HENCHMEN IN THE BOWLER 51 00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:49,002 HATS AND TIGHT BLACK SHITS? THIS IS WHAT TRUMP WANTED. 52 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,336 A GOON SQUAD. A BUNCH OF TOUGH GUYS TO GO 53 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,039 ROUGH PEOPLE UP. BECAUSE HE CAN'T TAKE A JOKE. 54 00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,208 HE CAN MAKE ONE. IN FACT, HE'S MADE SEVERAL, 55 00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:59,879 ERIC, IVANKA, DON JR. 56 00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:00,213 [ LAUGHTER ] 57 00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,916 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 58 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:03,983 BUT HE CAN'T TAKE ONE. AND BY THE WAY, THIS HAPPENED 59 00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:07,554 NEAR THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR, RIGHT AROUND THE TIME HE HAD A 60 00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,756 SUMMIT WITH KIM JONG‐UN. MAYBE HE GOT THE IDEA FROM HIM! 61 00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:13,126 I COULD BE DOG FOOD RIGHT NOW. 62 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,194 [ LAUGHTER ] 63 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,829 I'D BE LIKE, "ALEC BALDWIN IS THE ONE YOU WANT!" 64 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:21,468 ANYWAY, THANKS FOR WATCHING, JUST ABOUT TEN MINUTES 65 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:25,672 AGO BEFORE THE SHOW, THEY RELEASED THE STATEMENT, TRUMP 66 00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:28,908 DID, THAT SAID THE STORY I ASKED THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE TO GO 67 00:03:28,908 --> 00:03:33,780 AFTER RATINGS CHALLENGE WITH "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" AND OTHER 68 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,416 LATE‐NIGHT LOSERS IS TOTAL FAKE NEWS. 69 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:44,390 HE GOES ON TO INSULT ALEC BALDWIN WITH THAT SAID I DO 70 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:49,229 BELIEVE THE SHOWS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED AN ILLEGAL CAMPAIGN 71 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:53,099 CONTRIBUTION FROM THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY, DO YOU THINK SAID IT 72 00:03:53,099 --> 00:03:53,432 GUILLERMO? 73 00:03:53,432 --> 00:03:54,701 >> I THINK HE DID. 74 00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:57,537 >> Jimmy: OF COURSE HE DID. ANYWAY, THANKS FOR WATCHING, 75 00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,172 MR. FORMER PRESIDENT. MAYBE I'LL SEND YOU A HOODIE. 76 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,341 YOU STILL A TRIPLE XL? 77 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:05,645 [ LAUGHTER ] 78 00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:08,615 [ APPLAUSE ] 79 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:12,152 I DON'T KNOW HOW HE RELEASED STATEMENTS ANY MORE BECAUSE HE'S 80 00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,920 BANNED FROM TWITTER OR FACEBOOK OR INSTAGRAM 81 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,855 ANYMORE, THEY KICKED HIM OFF, BUT HE STILL HAS A PHONE AND A 82 00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:17,891 BUNCH OF FOX NEWS WANNABES, THAT DON'T SCREEN HIS CALLS. 83 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:22,629 TRUMP DIALED INTO THE REAL AMERICA VOICE NEWS NETWORK, 84 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:23,563 NEVER HEARD OF IT EITHER, 85 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:24,664 [ LAUGHTER ] 86 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:25,832 AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS, TURNS OUT, HE'S STILL 87 00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:28,768 RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT. 88 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:35,742 >> HEADLINES WERE ABOUT YOU SAID WE DIDN'T WIN, IS THAT AN 89 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:39,846 ACCURATE HEADLINE, DID YOU ADMIT DEFEAT. 90 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:43,349 >> NO I NEVER ADMITTED DEFEAT. WE HAVE A LOT OF THINGS 91 00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:45,685 HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. I THINK THAT WAS AN ELECTION ‐‐ 92 00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:48,955 I DON'T THINK ‐‐ ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS READ THE NEWSPAPERS AND 93 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:53,126 SEE WHAT'S COMING OUT NOW. NOW THE WORD IS CONCEDE, I HAVE 94 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,394 NOT CONCEDED. 95 00:04:54,394 --> 00:05:03,603 >> I AM CONCEITED BUT I HAVE NOT 96 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,705 CONCEDED. HE DEFINITELY DOESN'T GIVE UP! 97 00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:06,906 WE ALSO LEARNED TODAY, THAT BETWEEN MARCH OF LAST YEAR AND 98 00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,074 MARCH OF THIS YEAR, 881 SECRET SERVICE EMPLOYEES TESTED 99 00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:09,542 POSITIVE FOR COVID. GEE, I WONDER WHERE THEY GOT IT? 100 00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:14,781 HERE IN THE U. S., MORE THAN 45% OF THE POPULATION IS FULLY 101 00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:18,585 VACCINATED WHICH IS NOT ENOUGH, AND THAT'S 102 00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:20,353 MOSTLY THANKS TO YOUNG PEOPLE. ACCORDING TO THE CDC, 18 TO 103 00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:21,955 24‐YEAR‐OLDS ARE THE AGE GROUP LEAST LIKELY TO GET VACCINATED 104 00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,123 AND MOST UNSURE ABOUT GETTING A SHOT. 105 00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:27,694 BECAUSE THEY READ NOTHING BUT CRAP ON TIKTOK. I GUESS 106 00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:28,561 [ LAUGHTER ] 107 00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:33,566 AND I GET THAT, 18‐24‐YEAR‐OLDS WHEN YOU'RE THAT AGE, YOU 108 00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:34,734 THINK THEY'RE INVINCIBLE, BUT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME 109 00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:35,935 GENERATION THAT CAN'T HAVE PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY IN THEIR 110 00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:39,572 LUNCHBOX. OKAY. THEY ARE DEFINITELY NOT 111 00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:40,573 INVINCIBLE. 112 00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:42,242 [ LAUGHTER ] 113 00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:45,712 THE BOTTOM LINE IS WE ARE A COUNTRY FULL OF DUMBS! 114 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:48,881 AT&T DOES THIS EVERY YEAR, THEY RELEASE A MAP 115 00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:49,882 OF THE MOST COMMONLY MISSPELLED WORDS, BY STATE. 116 00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:52,552 AND WE HAD A NEW TOP DOG THIS YEAR. "QUARANTINE." 117 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:59,192 WHICH IS OFTEN SPELLED AS "CORN TEEN." 118 00:05:59,192 --> 00:05:59,525 [ LAUGHTER ] 119 00:05:59,525 --> 00:05:59,993 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 120 00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:03,863 REMEMBER "THE CHILDREN OF THE CORN?" THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN 121 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,432 THEY HIT PUBERTY. THERE ARE A LOT OF COMMON NUMBER 122 00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:10,503 ONES. "CORONAVIRUS," "BELIEVE," "WHICH." 123 00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:13,006 PEOPLE HAVE A PROBLEM SPELLING. AND THIS SHOULD COME AS NO 124 00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:13,973 SURPRISE, FLORIDA'S IS, BY FAR, THE WEIRDEST. 125 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:15,608 IN FLORIDA, THEY MOST CONSISTENTLY MISSPELL THE WORD, 126 00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:20,780 "PHARAOH." 127 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:27,954 WHO IS EVEN GOOGLING PHARAOH, THAT'S GOT TO BE TRUMP 128 00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,589 GOOGLING," HOW DO I BECOME AN EGYPTIAN GOD?" 129 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:32,492 I ACTUALLY LOOKED IT UP. TURNS OUT FLORIDA IS INFESTED 130 00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,061 WITH AN INSECT CALLED THE "PHARAOH ANT." 131 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:39,599 THESE ARE INVASIVE ANTS THAT, EVERY TIME YOU SPRAY THEM, THE 132 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:42,635 COLONY SPLITS, AND DOUBLES, ONE NEST BECOMES TWO NESTS. 133 00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:45,238 TWO NESTS BECOME FOUR NESTS. IN OTHER WORDS, YET ANOTHER 134 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:51,210 CHARMING REASON TO GO TO FLORIDA. WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS, HOW 135 00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:57,116 IS THE MOST MISSPELLED WORD IN EVERY STATE NOT "DIARRHEA?" 136 00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:57,450 [ LAUGHTER ] 137 00:06:57,450 --> 00:07:01,788 BETWEEN "DIARRHEA" AND "HANNUKAH," FORGET ABOUT IT. 138 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,590 ALL RIGHT NOW WE HAVE A FOLLOW‐UP SEGMENT FOR YOU 139 00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,726 TONIGHT. I MENTIONED THIS ON THE SHOW A 140 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:09,429 FEW WEEKS AGO. THERE IS A MARIJUANA DELIVERY 141 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,630 COMPANY HERE IN L. A. THAT IS LOOKING FOR AN INTERN TO TEST 142 00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:15,034 OUT THEIR PRODUCTS. THEY HAVE A LOT OF PRODUCTS AND 143 00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:17,370 WANTED SOMEBODY TO TEST THEM AND WRITE A DESCRIPTION OF THEM. 144 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,172 THEY SAID THEY WERE LOOKING FOR INTERNS TO SMOKE OR EAT 145 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,140 EVERYTHING THEY HAVE, AND THEN COME UP WITH A LITTLE REVIEW OF 146 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:23,142 THEM. WHICH FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE IS A 147 00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:27,580 DREAM JOB, AND WHICH IMMEDIATELY MADE ME THINK OF A GUY WE 148 00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:36,789 HAPPENED UPON AT THE OPENING OF 149 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,391 A CANNABIS DISPENSARY IN MICHIGAN IN JANUARIRY LAST YEAR 150 00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:49,068 >> I'M FREDERICK MILLER. 151 00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:52,739 F‐R‐E‐D‐E‐R‐I‐C‐K ‐‐ WE'RE JUST WAITING ON THE 152 00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:59,245 DISPENSARY SEE WHAT THEY GOT. I WAS HOPING TO COME OUT HERE 153 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:01,848 AND DO SOME TRICKS BUT SO FAR IT'S JUST COLD. 154 00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:03,449 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 155 00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:04,550 >> Jimmy: HE'S GREAT. HE'S GOT WHAT THEY CALL "IT!" 156 00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:08,654 I THOUGHT FREDDIE WOULD BE A VERY GOOD FIT FOR THIS 157 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,623 JOB SO I DECIDED TO PLAY MARIJUANA MATCHMAKER. 158 00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:15,194 WE GOT IN TOUCH WITH THE CEO OF THE COMPANY, EMJAY, AND WE FLEW 159 00:08:15,194 --> 00:08:17,597 FREDDIE TO L. A. FOR AN INTERVIEW. HERE YOU GO 160 00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:20,133 >> HOW YOU DOING. 161 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:20,466 >> CHRIS. 162 00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:23,169 >> GREAT TO MEET YOU. 163 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:26,239 >> GREAT TO MEET YOU TOO. 164 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:30,109 >> YOU REAL GOT OUR ATTENTION WITH THIS JOB POSTING. 165 00:08:30,109 --> 00:08:35,915 THIS THREE PAID INTERNSHIP IS A DREAM COME TRUE WE'RE SEEKING A 166 00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:42,488 PASSIONATE DETAIL‐ORIENTED CREATIVE WRITER TO WRITE ON 167 00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:47,760 EVERY PRODUCT ON OUR WEED PLATFORM, PASSION FOR CANNABIS 168 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,863 IS A MUST. HOW MANY APPLICATIONS DID YOU 169 00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:51,964 GET FOR THIS. 170 00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:54,066 >> WE'RE AT 1100 SO FAR. 171 00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:58,171 >> YOU WOULD HAVE TO HIRE SOMEBODY JUST TO GO THROUGH 172 00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,505 THESE I'D THINK. 173 00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:03,543 >> YOUR CORRECT, VIDEO SUBMISSIONS AND WRITE‐INS, IT'S 174 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,144 BEEN BIGGER THAN EXPECTED. 175 00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:09,315 >> I KNOW YOU GOT A LOT OF CANDIDATES BUT I FEEL LIKE I GOT 176 00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:12,452 A GUY FOR YOU. HE'S PASSIONATE AND CREATIVE. 177 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:16,522 HE'S BAKED OUT OF HIS MIND. WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET HIM? 178 00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:18,691 >> WOULD LOVE TO MEET HIM. 179 00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:19,225 >> FREDDIE. 180 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,593 >> HELLO. 181 00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:21,861 >> HEY, BUDDY. 182 00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:22,795 >> REALLY APPRECIATE IT. 183 00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:23,729 >> HOW ARE YOU. 184 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:24,730 >> THIS IS CHRIS. 185 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,466 >> EXCELLENT. 186 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:30,603 >> THIS MIGHT BE YOUR NEW BOSS, HAVE A SEAT, GUYS. 187 00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:34,407 IS RARE THAT YOU HAVE A INTERMEDIARY WHEN INTERVIEWING 188 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,242 AN EMPLOYEE. 189 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:36,575 >> YES. 190 00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:38,878 >> OKAY. TELL HIM A LITTLE BIT ABOUT 191 00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:39,679 YOURSELF, FREDDIE. 192 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:44,550 >> I CURRENTLY WORK AT A DISPENSARY NOW, FROM THE MIDDLE 193 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:48,855 OF NOWHERE IN INDIANA. 194 00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:51,624 >> FIRST TIME ON A PLANE WHAT DID YOU THINK. 195 00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:54,794 >> THEY'RE REALLY COOL. I LIKE THE TAKE OFF BECAUSE THEY 196 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,529 DO GO STRAIGHT UP. 197 00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:57,597 >> SEE, CHRIS. 198 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:03,603 >> SO THIS IS BASICALLY A WRITING JOB, RIGHT, AND I 199 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:03,936 TESTING JOB. 200 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:04,437 >> IT IS. 201 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,306 >> SO WHAT COULD YOU ASK SOMEBODY FOR THIS SPOT. 202 00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:11,711 >> PART OF THIS ROLE IS TRYING THE PRODUCTS AND ACCURATELY 203 00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:16,782 WRITING DESCRIPTIONS ABOUT HOW IT MADE YOU FEEL, HOW IT WILL 204 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:20,786 MAKE OUR CUSTOMERS FEEL. THEY'LL READ THOSE DESCRIPTIONS 205 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,923 AND A LOT OF PURCHASES WOULD BE BASED ON YOUR WRITING. 206 00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:28,261 >> MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY ONE OF THESE PRODUCTS AND GIVE IT A 207 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:32,798 MINI REVIEW TO GIVE YOU A SENSE OF HIS WRITING AND CREATIVITY. 208 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:33,131 >> SURE. 209 00:10:33,131 --> 00:10:35,535 >> LET'S SEE. WE CAN'T ACTUALLY SHOW YOU 210 00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:41,674 SMOKING BECAUSE THIS IS TELEVISION SO WHY DON'T I I'LL 211 00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:45,945 HOLD UP THE FUNNYUNS WHILE YOU SMOKE. 212 00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:48,447 SO GIVE US A SUMMARY OF DESERT GOLD. 213 00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:54,654 >> SUMMARY. OKAY. PICTURE YOURSELF ON AN AIRPLANE 214 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:59,025 RIDING TO CALIFORNIA, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THERE BEFORE 215 00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:05,331 YOU'RE FLYING OVER, THE LANDSCAPE CHANGED, MIDWEST 216 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:09,902 TOTALLY FLAT, BORING, LOTS OF FARMS, PRETTY UP CLOSE, BORING 217 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:14,407 FROM UP 50,000 FEET. NOW, OKAY, THEN SUDDENLY THE 218 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,777 DESERTS AND IT LOOKS LIKE THE MOON LANDING AND YOU'RE LIKE, 219 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:24,383 WOW, YOU'RE THINKING SOMETHING ELSE. WAS THE MOON LANDING FAKE. 220 00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:29,322 OR KWASNIEWSKI IT SHOT IN CALIFORNIA? 221 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,923 >> VERY UPLIFTING BUDDY. 222 00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:33,926 >> THAT'S THE TYPE OF DESCRIPTION WE GO FOR TO BE 223 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:34,259 HONEST. 224 00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:38,331 >> HEY, THIS IS DELICIOUS, I SEE WHY YOU NAMED IT BERRIES. 225 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:38,898 >> IT'S GOOD. 226 00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:41,033 >> WHEN DID YOU START UP IN CALIFORNIA? 227 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:48,708 >> WE STARTED UP IN MID‐2019, WE REALLY GOT GOING IN JANUARY 228 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,777 2020. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF CLOUD BERRY. 229 00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:54,280 >> FIRST OF ALL I LOVE MIXED BERRY. 230 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,882 I DEFINITELY NOTICE THE MIX WITH. 231 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:57,550 >> REALLY. 232 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,986 >> YOU GOT A LITTLE BIT MORE SERIOUS ALL OF A SUDDEN. 233 00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:02,321 >> I THINK IT'S THE CLOUD BERRY, MAN. 234 00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:02,989 >> YOU DO. 235 00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:09,629 >> WELL, HEY, I HAVE A SERIOUS QUESTION THOUGH, WHEN DID YOU 236 00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:10,262 START BUSINESS HERE. 237 00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:11,430 >> HE JUST TOLD YOU. 238 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:16,102 >> I FORGOT. I'M BEING SERIOUS NOW. 239 00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:17,236 >> IT REALLY WORKS. 240 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,372 >> SERIOUS. 241 00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:19,705 [ LAUGHTER ] 242 00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:24,143 >> AS FAR AS THE CLOUD BERRY GOES YOUR JOB WOULD BE TO WRITE 243 00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:27,246 YOUR REVIEW OF IT HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE IT. 244 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:32,284 >> WELL, CLOUD BERRIES, MAN, YOU NAILED IT, IT FEELS LIKE I'M ON 245 00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:36,922 A PLANE AGAIN EXCEPT THIS TIME ON NOT ON THE PLANE, I'M ON THE 246 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:41,160 CLOUD LOOKING AT THE PLANE GO BY. MAYBE I'M DRIFTING ALL THE WAY 247 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,094 OUT TO HOLLYWOOD. 248 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:42,895 >> PRETTY GOOD, RIGHT. 249 00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:45,698 >> PRETTY GOOD. 250 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:49,268 >> YOU KNOW, IT'S MY ELEVATOR PITCH. 251 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,337 >> I LOVE IT. ONE THE BIGGEST THING PEOPLE ASK 252 00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:59,211 US FOR IS LEGITIMATE REVIEWS OF EFFECTS, WE'RE TRYING TO GET THE 253 00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:02,848 WRITERS TO REALLY COMMUNICATE HOW IT EFFECTS THEM WE HEAR 254 00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:05,051 THAT'S A MUCH MORE RELIABLE SOURCE. 255 00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:08,454 >> NEVER HEARD OF ANYTHING MORE CREATIVE THAN THAT, HAVE YOU. 256 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,623 DO YOU HAVE A RESUME OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 257 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,392 >> I'M GLAD YOU ASKED. 258 00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:17,129 >> OH, LOOK AT THIS. IT'S A HANDWRITTEN RESUME. 259 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:21,567 >> GOOD, IT LOOKS LIKE A DRAWING OF A MONKEY AND A PIG. 260 00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:24,603 >> HERE'S HIS RESUME. 261 00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:28,641 >> I LOVE IT, FREDDIE. YOU KNOW, WE GOT WAY MORE 262 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:32,078 SUBMISSIONS THAN WE THOUGHT WE WOULD SO WE EXPANDED THE 263 00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:35,347 INTERNSHIP FROM ONE SEAT TO THREE SEATS. 264 00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:38,217 >> WOW. WAIT, THERE'S ONLY THREE PEOPLE 265 00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:41,253 OUT OF 1100 OR SO THAT ARE GOING TO QUALIFY. 266 00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:42,154 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 267 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:45,958 >> SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, CHRIS, IS THIS SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO 268 00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:46,792 THINK ABOUT? 269 00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:51,230 >> LIKE I SAID, I THINK THE BIGGEST THING WE'RE GOING FOR IS 270 00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:55,201 CAN YOU COMMUNICATE EFFECTS IN A FUN AND CREATIVE WAY, I THINK 271 00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:58,771 YOU CHECK BOTH THOSE BOXES VERY QUICKLY. 272 00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:02,742 WE'D LOVE TO OFFER YOU ONE OF THE THREE SEATS. 273 00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:06,112 >> THERE'S ONE THING YOU HAVE TO DO THOUGH FIRST, YOU HAVE TO 274 00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:11,283 FAIL A DRUG TEST, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT. THIS IS GREAT. 275 00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:13,953 DO YOU GUYS WANT TO SHAKE HANDS. 276 00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:16,489 >> I'M ALL SWEATY. 277 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:17,923 >> SWEATY FREDDIE. 278 00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:21,894 >> WOW, GUYS, I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE PART OF THIS. 279 00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,964 THANK YOU, CHRIS. THANK YOU, FREDDIE FOR BRINGING 280 00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:30,736 SO MUCH JOY INTO OUR LIVES. 281 00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:35,341 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 282 00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:38,277 >> Jimmy: WE'VE GOT A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 283 00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:39,445 ILIZA SHLESINGER IS HERE. WE HAVE MUSIC FROM LUKAS NELSON 284 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:40,513 & PROMISE OF THE REAL. AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 285 00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:41,847 QUENTIN TARANTINO. 286 00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:42,348 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 287 00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:44,283 ♪ 288 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:52,258 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 289 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:56,896 >> Jimmy: HI, WELCOME BACK. TONIGHT, FROM THE NEW 290 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,798 MOVIE "GOOD ON PAPER" ON NETFLIX, ILIZA SHLESINGER IS 291 00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,633 HERE. 292 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,367 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 293 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,768 THEN LATER, FROM RIGHT HERE IN LOS ANGELES, THEIR NEW ALBUM IS 294 00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:03,836 CALLED "A FEW STARS APART," MUSIC FROM LUKAS NELSON 295 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:04,336 & PROMISE OF THE REAL. 296 00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:07,239 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 297 00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:12,745 TOMORROW NIGHT, BILLY CRYSTAL WILL BE WITH US 298 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:13,879 AND EMMA CORRIN WILL JOIN US, WITH MUSIC FROM SEVENTEEN. 299 00:15:13,879 --> 00:15:15,481 AND THURSDAY, CHRIS PRATT AND MCHAEL COHEN, WITH THE 300 00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,483 ISLEY BROTHERS & SNOOP DOGG. 301 00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:19,084 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 302 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,787 OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MANY GREAT 303 00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:27,526 MOVIES, "PULP FICTION," "RESERVOIR DOGS," 304 00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:35,467 "INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS" AND ONE THAT MADE THE RARE LEAP FROM 305 00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:36,936 MOVIE TO BOOK, "ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD: A NOVEL" GOES ON 306 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:40,472 SALE TUESDAY. PLEASE WELCOME QUENTIN TARANTINO. 307 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:54,386 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 308 00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:54,751 ♪ 309 00:15:56,288 --> 00:16:01,327 >> Jimmy: VERY GOOD TO SEE ZBRU GREAT TO SEE YOU. 310 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:07,533 >> Jimmy: GREAT TO SEE . 311 00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,402 >> BY THE WAY. WHEN YOU WERE DOING THE THING 312 00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:12,638 WITH THE AUDIENCE I NOTICED THE COOL GUY 313 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,407 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 314 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:18,777 WITH THAT SHIRT, THANKS A LOT, GUY. 315 00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:23,983 >> Jimmy: I GOTTA TELL YOU, MORE SHOW YOUR FANS COME OUT. ON THE‐ 316 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,584 THEY HAVE A BIG CONNECTION TO YOU. 317 00:16:25,584 --> 00:16:28,320 >> THAT'S A REALLY NICE THING TO SAY. 318 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,555 >> Jimmy: IT'S TRUE. 319 00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:34,193 >> IT'S REALLY NEAT, SO EVERYBODY WHO CAME HERE TO SEE 320 00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:34,558 ME. 321 00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:34,893 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 322 00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:35,461 MUCH RESPECT. 323 00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:38,230 >> Jimmy: AND YOU'RE NOT AROUND HERE MUCH BECAUSE YOU MOVED TO 324 00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:38,864 ISRAEL, RIGHT? 325 00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:42,701 >> YEAH I DID. I MOVED TO TEL AVIV. 326 00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:47,072 THE IDEA WAS THAT WE'D SPEND THREE TO FOUR MONTHS IN TEL AVIV 327 00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:50,843 AND THREE OR FOUR IN LOS ANGELES AND THEN COVID HIT SO THREE TO 328 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:54,346 FOUR MONTHS BECAME NINE, TWELVE MONTHS. 329 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:58,083 >> Jimmy: THEY FIGURED IT OUT PRETTY QUICKLY OVER THERE, RIGHT? 330 00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:02,621 >> LOOK, I WOULD HAVE RATHER NOT HAVE BEEN OUT OF MY OWN COUNTRY 331 00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:04,556 AGAINST MY WILL FOR A YEAR. 332 00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:05,057 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 333 00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:08,827 >> HOWEVER, IF I'M GOING TO BE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY, THE COUNTRY 334 00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:13,966 THAT HANDLED COVID THE BEST THAT'S PROBABLY THE BEST COUNTRY 335 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:16,068 THAT DID IT. 336 00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:16,702 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 337 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:20,039 >> Jimmy: AND ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU HAVE A BABY NOW WHICH IS 338 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:20,372 EXCITING. 339 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:21,073 >> YEAH. 340 00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:25,277 >> Jimmy: I TODDLER I GUESS PROBABLY. 341 00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:26,712 >> YEAH HE'S 15 MONTHS OLD. 342 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,380 >> Jimmy: YOUR SON, LEO. 343 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:29,248 >> YEAH. 344 00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:34,286 >> Jimmy: DOES EVERYONE THINK YOU NAMED HIM AFTER LEO DiCAPRIO. 345 00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:38,857 >> WE ALMOST DIDN'T NAME HIM BECAUSE PEOPLE WOULD ASSUME 346 00:17:38,857 --> 00:17:41,093 THAT, NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT BUT I DIDN'T. 347 00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:49,001 HE'S NAMED AFTER MY WIFE'S GRANDFATHER BUT ALSO BECAUSE 348 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:54,540 JUST IN OUR HEARTS HE WAS OUR LITTLE LION THAT'S HOW WE 349 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:55,674 THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 350 00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:57,576 >> HE'S WHAT 15 ‐‐ 351 00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:01,246 >> 15, 16 MONTHS, YEAH. 352 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:02,281 >> Jimmy: IS HE TALKING. 353 00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:04,817 >> HE'S TALKING BUT NOT NECESSARILY WORDS. 354 00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:08,754 HE MAKES HIMSELF UNDERSTOOD. HE CAN ONLY SAY ONE WORD AND 355 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:14,960 THAT IS ABBA, WHICH IS THE HEBREW WORD FOR DADA. 356 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,061 >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 357 00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:18,831 >> AND A THIRD OF THE TIME HE MEANS MEAN. 358 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:24,503 >> Jimmy: HA HA HA, HOW SOON BEFORE THAT KID'S SAYING THE 359 00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:27,239 F‐WORD, CAN'T BE LONG, RIGHT. 360 00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:28,974 >> WELL, SOON AS POSSIBLE. 361 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:34,413 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU LEARNING TO SPEAK REMEMBER RUE WHILE ‐‐ 362 00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:36,081 SPEAK HEBREW WHILE YOU'RE OVER THERE. 363 00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:42,755 >> I LEARNED A LOT OF WORDS, BUT NOTHING TO STRING TOGETHER A 364 00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:45,491 SENTENCE BUT I'M ACTUALLY LEARNING A LOT WITH LEO BECAUSE 365 00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:51,463 HE WATCHES THESE BABY TV KIND OF THINGS THAT ARE ALL IN HEBREW SO 366 00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:58,470 I AM LEARNING WITH HIM, COT IS CATUL. 367 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:06,412 HORSE IS, SOU. COW IS PALAR SO I'M LEARNING THE 368 00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:11,150 HEBREW SESAME STREET VERSION OF HEBREW. 369 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,619 >> Jimmy: YOU COME UP WITH THE MOST CREATIVE STUFF. 370 00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:15,788 BECAUSE I REMEMBER THESE KIND OF BOOKS SO WELL. 371 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,589 >> AT THE RIGHT AGE. 372 00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:20,392 >> Jimmy: FROM 25 YEARS AGO. I REMEMBER THE SMELL OF THEM. 373 00:19:20,392 --> 00:19:20,993 I REALLY DO. 374 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:26,832 >> THEY WERE IN THE 7‐11 NEXT TO THE COMIC BOOK SPIN A RACK THEY 375 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:32,971 WAS A PAPER BACK SPIN A RACK WITH CRIME NOVELS AND MOVIE 376 00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:33,304 NOVELS. 377 00:19:33,304 --> 00:19:37,376 >> SO THE MOVIE WOULD COME OUT AND BE POPULAR AND THEY'D WRITE 378 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:37,976 IT UP. 379 00:19:37,976 --> 00:19:41,146 >> USUALLY ONE OF THE THINGS THAT MADE THEM INTERESTING IS 380 00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:43,549 THEY COINCIDED WITH THE RELEASE OF THE MOVIE. 381 00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:47,853 IT WAS MORE OF A PROMOTIONAL TIE IN BUT OFB WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IS 382 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:51,356 THEY WOULD HIRE A AUTHOR TO DO IT AND GIVE THEM THE SHOOTING 383 00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:55,694 DRAFT OF THE SCRIPT, SO THEY TO WITH DO IT BUT THEN CRAP WOULD 384 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:58,430 HAPPEN AND THE SCRIPT WOULD CHANGE, THE ACTOR OR THIS OR 385 00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:01,333 THAT WOULD CHANGE BUT THE NOVEL WAS STILL THE SHOOTING DRAFT OF 386 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:04,436 THE SCRIPT. SO ALL OF A SUDDEN WHOA WHAT'S 387 00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:07,739 THIS, WHO'S THIS CHARACTE, WHAT'S GOING ON. 388 00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:09,308 >> Jimmy: AND WOULD READ THESE. 389 00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:12,444 >> THEY WERE MY FIRST ADULT NOVELS. 390 00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:17,449 >> Jimmy: AND THEY HAD ADDS IN THE BACK FOR OTHER NOVELIZATIONS. 391 00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:22,488 YOU USED TO SEE THAT ALL THE TIME. SOON‐TO‐BE A MAJOR MOTION 392 00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:22,853 PICTURE. 393 00:20:22,853 --> 00:20:26,625 >> THE BACK OF PAPER BACKS ALWAYS HAD FOUR PAGES THAT WERE 394 00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:32,297 JUST ADS FOR OTHER NOVELS AND THE WHOLE IDEA, MY PRETEXT IS IS 395 00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:37,703 A NOVELIZATION PRINTED IN 1978. SO WE WANTED TO HAVE IT LOOK AND 396 00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:41,573 FEEL LIKE THAT. SO THOSE ARE ACTUALLY BOOKS THAT 397 00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:47,479 ARE ON THE HARPER CATALOG THAT YOU COULD GET IN 1978. 398 00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:49,314 >> Jimmy: WONDER IF YOU CAN GET THEM NOW. 399 00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:55,454 >> YOU CAN DEFINITELY GET THEM NOW. THERE'S RIDE ALONG BRONC IS 400 00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:58,824 PHONY BECAUSE THAT'S THE BOOK RICK READS IN THE MOVIE. 401 00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:03,061 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. OKAY. WHICH ONES DO YOU REMEMBER 402 00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:04,296 READING AS A YOUNG MAN. 403 00:21:04,296 --> 00:21:08,367 >> I READ A LOT. I READ MOVIE NOVELIZATIONS FOR 404 00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:15,641 MOVIES I NEVER SAW. FOR INSTANCE I DIDN'T SEE HELDON 405 00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:20,379 MOD UNTIL SEVEN YEARS AGO BUT I READ THE NOVELIZATION IN THE 406 00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:25,284 70s, IT WAS WRITTEN BY THE SCREENWRITER COLIN HIGGINS. 407 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:31,957 BUT YOU KNOW, THE ONLY ONE WAS THE BIGGEST HORROR NOVEL 408 00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,492 BEST‐SELLERS OF ALL TIME. 409 00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:34,092 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 410 00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:38,363 >> I MEAN, IT WAS A SMASH. IT WAS SUCH A BIG SELLER MOST 411 00:21:38,363 --> 00:21:44,002 PEOPLE THOUGHT THE OMEN WAS BASED ON A BOOK BUT ACTUALLY IT 412 00:21:44,002 --> 00:21:46,438 WAS A NOFVELIZANOVELIZATION. 413 00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:52,711 >> Jimmy: I WAS ONE OF THEM. 414 00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:57,583 >> YOU COULD TELL IF YOU READ IT HE IS KILLING HIMSELF TO WRITE A 415 00:21:57,583 --> 00:22:01,720 GREAT NOVEL IN THE FIRST HALF AND CAN TELL HE RAN OUT OF TIME 416 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:06,191 SAND HE STARTS NOVELIZING HIS SCREEN PLAY IN THE SECOND HALF. 417 00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:13,832 BUT ONE OF THE REALLY GOOD ONES IS THE NOVELIZATION FOR THE MOVIE 418 00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:20,973 ORCA WHICH WAS A "JAWS" RIP OFF OF THE KILLER WHALE AND 419 00:22:20,973 --> 00:22:26,878 NOVELIZATION WAS WRITTEN BY ADAM HOERCOG WHO WROTE A FANTASTIC 420 00:22:26,878 --> 00:22:29,982 NOVELIZATION BECAUSE IT FOLLOWS THE STORY ALMOST EXACTLY BUT 421 00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:35,487 COMPLETELY CHANGES THE CHARNGT CHARACTERS THEY ALL DO THE SAME 422 00:22:35,487 --> 00:22:39,157 PLOT FUNCTIONS BUT IT'S DIFFERENT, THE LEAD CHARACTER IS 423 00:22:39,157 --> 00:22:42,461 A COMPLETELY OTHER GUY BUT IT'S RICH AND TERRIFIC. 424 00:22:42,461 --> 00:22:48,834 HERE A.I. THE THING ABOUT O HERE'S THE THING ABOUT ORCA I 425 00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:52,738 THINK IT'S A REALLY GOOD MOVIE. I THINK JAWS IS MAYBE POSSIBLY 426 00:22:52,738 --> 00:22:55,073 THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE. 427 00:22:55,073 --> 00:22:55,574 >> Jimmy: RIGHT RIGHT. 428 00:22:55,574 --> 00:23:03,548 >> BUT. ARTHUR HERZOG'S NOVEL OF ORCA IS 429 00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:10,889 MUCH BETTER THAN PETER BENCHLY'S NOVEL FOR JAWS. 430 00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:11,222 [ APPLAUSE ] 431 00:23:11,222 --> 00:23:16,028 SO OBVIOUSLY I'M HOPING OUT HERE IN TV LAND THAT SALES WILL SPIKE 432 00:23:16,028 --> 00:23:19,698 FOR ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD WHEN IT COMES OUT. 433 00:23:19,698 --> 00:23:25,771 HOWEVER I'M ALSO HOPING BACK SALES FOR ORCA BECAUSE OF THIS 434 00:23:25,771 --> 00:23:26,571 APPEARANCE WILL SPIKE 435 00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:27,139 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 436 00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:30,342 >> Jimmy: HAVEN'T HAD ANYONE FROM ORCA HERE BEFORE. 437 00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:31,898 >> Jimmy: MORE WITH QUENTIN TARANTINO AFTER THIS. 438 00:23:38,799 --> 00:23:39,664 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 439 00:23:39,664 --> 00:23:41,554 >> Jimmy: THERE WE GO, WE'VE GOT AN AUDIENCE WE'VE GOT QUENTIN 440 00:23:41,554 --> 00:23:45,524 TARANTINO, HE'S GOT A NEW BOOK, NOVELIZATION OF ONCE UPON TIME 441 00:23:45,524 --> 00:23:49,628 IN HOLLYWOOD. WITH YOUR SON IS THERE A MOVIE 442 00:23:49,628 --> 00:23:52,364 IN MIND THAT WILL BE THE FIRST YOU SHOW HIM. 443 00:23:52,364 --> 00:23:54,533 >> "TAXI DRIVER". 444 00:23:54,533 --> 00:23:54,867 [ LAUGHTER ] 445 00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:56,802 >> Jimmy: WAIT UNTIL HE'S AT LEAST FOUR. 446 00:23:56,802 --> 00:24:03,175 WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE VIDEO SHOW YOU WORKED AT IN MANHATTAN 447 00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:03,508 BEACH. 448 00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:05,511 >> VIDEO ARCHIVES. 449 00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:07,780 >> Jimmy: IT'S NOW A GAME STOP DID YOU KNOW THAT. 450 00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:12,251 >> I DID KNOW, I'M NOT INTO VIDEO GAMES, I'M A GENERATION 451 00:24:12,251 --> 00:24:16,155 REMOVED FROM THAT HOWEVER IT'S STILL IN THE SAME WHEELHOUSE 452 00:24:16,155 --> 00:24:20,025 OPPOSED TO A POTTERY BARN. IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. 453 00:24:20,025 --> 00:24:25,498 >> Jimmy: SO YOU OBVIOUSLY SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH A LOT OF VHS 454 00:24:25,498 --> 00:24:28,667 TAPES AND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO GIVE YOU A QUIZ AND I'D 455 00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:32,037 LIKE TO READ THE DESCRIPTION ON THE BACK OF THE TAPE AND I 456 00:24:32,037 --> 00:24:36,909 PROMISE YOU WE'VE NOT GIVEN YOU ANY INDICATION, AND I DON'T KNOW 457 00:24:36,909 --> 00:24:40,079 HOW YOU WOULD DO THIS. THIS WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO ME. 458 00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:43,616 IF YOU MIND PUTTING ON THAT BLIND FOLD. 459 00:24:43,616 --> 00:24:47,119 I WILL READ THESE ALLOWED. 460 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:51,857 >> MESS ON MY HAIR. YOU KNOW I WORK ON MY HAIR ALL 461 00:24:51,857 --> 00:24:52,191 WEEK LONG. 462 00:24:52,191 --> 00:24:54,760 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 463 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,796 >> Jimmy: AND YOU HIT IT. ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT. 464 00:24:57,796 --> 00:25:03,202 FIRST ONE. THREE MIDDLE‐AGE DADDIES VISIT 465 00:25:03,202 --> 00:25:07,540 CALIFORNIA TO HAVE A MARVELOUS TIME AT AT BEACH WHEN THEY LEARN 466 00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:10,910 A NICE APARTMENT AND EXPENSIVE WINE ISN'T ENOUGH TO SCORE THE 467 00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:15,481 CHICKS, THEY EMPLOY ONE TO HELP THEM AT FIRST HE'S AS DISGUSTED 468 00:25:15,481 --> 00:25:20,286 WITH THEM AS HE IS WITH THEIR GOIVE BUT SOON USE IT TO 469 00:25:20,286 --> 00:25:21,320 EVERYONE'S BENEFIT. 470 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,122 >> THREE MIDDLE AGED DADDIES. 471 00:25:23,122 --> 00:25:27,059 >> I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY SAY DADDIES I THINK IT IS MEANT IN 472 00:25:27,059 --> 00:25:28,727 THE HIP‐KIND OF WAY. 473 00:25:28,727 --> 00:25:35,534 >> OKAY. I DON'T KNOW. I'M GONNA TAKE A GUESS "STUDENT 474 00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:35,867 BODIES". 475 00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:41,106 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE REALLY CLOSE. THE ANSWER WAS, YOU WANT TO TAKE 476 00:25:41,106 --> 00:25:44,210 A PEEK HARD BODIES. 477 00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:47,746 >> OH, THAT COMPLETELY THROUGH ME OFF, DADDIES, THEY'RE NOT 478 00:25:47,746 --> 00:25:50,516 DADDIES AT ALL. I'M THINKING TED DANSON OR 479 00:25:50,516 --> 00:25:56,622 SOMETHING LIKE THAT. THAT MOVIE STARS A GUY NAMED 480 00:25:56,622 --> 00:26:00,759 GRANT KRAMER AND A GAL NAMED CRYSTAL NADINE SHAW WHO WAS IN 481 00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:04,930 THE FIRST THING I EVER DID CALLED "MY BEST FRIEND'S 482 00:26:04,930 --> 00:26:07,733 BIRTHDAY" IT WAS SUCH A BAD DESCRIPTION. 483 00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:12,504 >> ALL RIGHT. NEXT ONE. HERE WE GO. 484 00:26:12,504 --> 00:26:16,675 ROBBIE AND HIS FOUR COLLEGE CLASSMATES DECIDE TO MOVE A 485 00:26:16,675 --> 00:26:22,548 BOARD GAME INTO LOCAL LEGENDARY CAV EARN AND ROBBIES STARTS TO 486 00:26:22,548 --> 00:26:30,055 HAVE VISIONS AND THE LINE OF FANTASY AND REALITY FUSE INTO A 487 00:26:30,055 --> 00:26:37,997 HARROWING ADVENTURE AND GROWING SUSPENSION. 488 00:26:37,997 --> 00:26:39,932 IF YOU NEED A HINT. 489 00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:44,036 >> GIVE MEJIA A ME A HINT. 490 00:26:44,036 --> 00:26:46,872 >> THE STAR WENT ON TO WIN TWO ACADEMY AWARDS. 491 00:26:46,872 --> 00:26:48,774 >> I GIVE UP. 492 00:26:48,774 --> 00:26:49,942 >> TOM HANKS 493 00:26:49,942 --> 00:26:55,681 >> IT WAS A TV MOVIE. AND NICK? IT AS WELL. 494 00:26:55,681 --> 00:27:00,052 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE RIGHT. HE SURE IS. 495 00:27:00,052 --> 00:27:02,821 >> Jimmy: BOY, THIS IS I GOOD LOOKING COVER. 496 00:27:02,821 --> 00:27:08,627 A FREAKISH ARMY EXPERIMENT OUT OF CONTROL, TERRORIZES A RESORT 497 00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:15,534 TOWN AND IDYLLIC RESORT COMMUNITY RAVAGED BY AN 498 00:27:15,534 --> 00:27:21,440 UNIMAGINABLE TERROR, HORRIBLE BODIES MANGLE THE COUNTRY SIDE 499 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:26,645 AND SHERIFF LEADS INTO A FANTASTIC SECRET 500 00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:31,483 THE KILLERS IT SEEMS ARE RENEGADE ROTTWEILER S. 501 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:34,787 IF YOU DON'T KNOW IF BY THEN I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOING TO GET 502 00:27:34,787 --> 00:27:35,254 THIS ONE. 503 00:27:35,254 --> 00:27:38,223 >> OKAY. THERE'S QUITE A FEW KILLER DOG 504 00:27:38,223 --> 00:27:43,028 MOVIES, ALL RIGHT. BUT I'M GOING TO SAY IT'S THE 505 00:27:43,028 --> 00:27:46,131 EARLY OZB FILM. 506 00:27:46,131 --> 00:27:50,102 >> Jimmy: TAKE A LOOK, IT'S DOGS OF HELL. 507 00:27:50,102 --> 00:27:51,737 >> LET ME SEE THAT FOR A SECOND. 508 00:27:51,737 --> 00:27:55,841 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU CAN HAVE THAT. 509 00:27:55,841 --> 00:28:00,412 >> I MIGHT OH, THE ORIGINAL TITLE ‐‐ 510 00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:02,214 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 511 00:28:02,214 --> 00:28:07,353 THAT'S THE CHEEKY VIDEO TITLE. LOOK AT THAT. 512 00:28:07,353 --> 00:28:11,790 >> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO. 513 00:28:11,790 --> 00:28:15,594 IT WAS ORIGINALLY IN 3D. 514 00:28:15,594 --> 00:28:18,964 >> Jimmy: UNBELIEVABLE. YOU WANT TO DO ONE MORE. 515 00:28:18,964 --> 00:28:19,531 >> YES. 516 00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:20,432 >> Jimmy: WOW. 517 00:28:20,432 --> 00:28:25,437 >> I HAVE BEEN DEFLATED BY THIS. THANK GOD I HAD A VICTORY. 518 00:28:25,437 --> 00:28:29,808 >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO, IT'S HALLOWEEN EVE AND FOUR COLLEGE 519 00:28:29,808 --> 00:28:35,147 FRIENDS PLOT TO KIDNAP THE WIFE OF A WEALTHY FRIEND WITH 520 00:28:35,147 --> 00:28:39,385 IDENTITIES MASKED BEHIND CLOWN COSTUMES AND THE FOUR SLIP INTO 521 00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:45,424 DEADLY SERISERIOUSNESS BY NIGHT END WHAT STARTED AS A JOKE HAS 522 00:28:45,424 --> 00:28:49,294 BECOME A TERRIFYING NIGHTMARE. ONE OF THE STARS IS ONE THE 523 00:28:49,294 --> 00:28:51,530 GREAT COMEDY STARS FROM THE 80s. 524 00:28:51,530 --> 00:28:53,932 >> OH, FROM THE 80s. 525 00:28:53,932 --> 00:28:57,169 >> Jimmy: YES IN FACT WAS ON AS‐SEEN TV. 526 00:28:57,169 --> 00:29:00,406 >> JOHN CANADYCANDY. 527 00:29:00,406 --> 00:29:03,242 >> Jimmy: HIS NAME IS JOHN CANDY. AND HIS MOVIE. 528 00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:08,614 >> WAS IT DURING THE TIME HE WAS FAMOUS OR WAS IT AN OLDER FILM. 529 00:29:08,614 --> 00:29:14,119 >> Jimmy: IT LISTS FLASHnd SCTV AS HIS CREDIT. 530 00:29:14,119 --> 00:29:15,654 LOOKS LIKE HE DID THIS BEFORE. 531 00:29:15,654 --> 00:29:18,957 >> THAT MAKES SENSE, ACTUALLY. THE CLOWN MURDERS. 532 00:29:18,957 --> 00:29:22,294 >> Jimmy: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. 533 00:29:22,294 --> 00:29:22,795 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 534 00:29:22,795 --> 00:29:25,030 >> HA HA HA. 535 00:29:25,030 --> 00:29:27,966 >> Jimmy: GIVE THAT ONE TO LEO. ALL RIGHT. 536 00:29:27,966 --> 00:29:35,474 THERE IT IS, ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD A NOVELIZATION COMES 537 00:29:35,474 --> 00:29:39,111 OUT ON TUESDAY, QUENTIN TARANTINO, EVERYBODY. 538 00:29:39,111 --> 00:29:40,012 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 539 00:29:40,412 --> 00:29:41,013 ♪ 540 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:49,957 ♪ 541 00:29:49,957 --> 00:29:50,458 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 542 00:29:50,458 --> 00:29:56,257 >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY FUNNY PERSON WITH 543 00:29:56,257 --> 00:30:01,162 PERSON WITH FOUR STAND‐UP SPECIALS, TWO MOVIES, AND ONE 544 00:30:01,162 --> 00:30:02,297 SKETCH SHOW ON NETFLIX. IN MERE HOURS, SHE ADDS A THIRD 545 00:30:02,297 --> 00:30:03,331 MOVIE TO HER NETFLIX QUEUE. THE MOSTLY TRUE STORY 546 00:30:03,331 --> 00:30:04,566 "GOOD ON PAPER," PLEASE WELCOME ILIZA SHLESINGER. 547 00:30:04,566 --> 00:30:09,904 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 548 00:30:09,904 --> 00:30:18,947 ♪ 549 00:30:18,947 --> 00:30:20,382 >> Jimmy: VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU. 550 00:30:20,382 --> 00:30:21,983 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU. 551 00:30:21,983 --> 00:30:23,818 >> Jimmy: DID YOU MEET QUENTIN TARANTINO? 552 00:30:23,818 --> 00:30:26,221 >> I DID NOT MEET HIM. I DID NOT. 553 00:30:26,221 --> 00:30:27,956 >> Jimmy: I WISH YOU MET HIM. 554 00:30:27,956 --> 00:30:29,724 >> HE ALMOST MET BEFORE. 555 00:30:29,724 --> 00:30:31,459 >> Jimmy: WHERE DID YOU ALMOST MEET. 556 00:30:31,459 --> 00:30:38,733 >> I WAS A PA ON A LISA MARIE PRESLEY VIDEO CALLED DIRTY 557 00:30:38,733 --> 00:30:43,471 LAUNDRY. I WAS 22. AND HE WAS IN THE MUSIC VIDEO. 558 00:30:43,471 --> 00:30:44,139 >> Jimmy: WOW. 559 00:30:44,139 --> 00:30:48,042 >> I WAS OPERATING A FAN TRYING TO AVOID DOING MY JOB BUT I SAW 560 00:30:48,042 --> 00:30:51,246 HIM SO I'M BASICALLY ONE OF HIS MUSICIANS. 561 00:30:51,246 --> 00:30:55,450 >> Jimmy: WAS IT ONE OF THOSE HAND FANS FOR LISA MARIE'S HAIR. 562 00:30:55,450 --> 00:30:58,186 >> YEAH SO SHE WOULD LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 563 00:30:58,186 --> 00:31:01,289 >> Jimmy: SO SHE CAME UP WITH THAT BEFORE BEYONCÉ. 564 00:31:01,289 --> 00:31:04,559 >> SHE DID I KNOW IT'S A BIG POINT OF CONTENTION BETWEEN THE 565 00:31:04,559 --> 00:31:04,959 TWO OF THEM. 566 00:31:04,959 --> 00:31:07,962 >> Jimmy: BY THE WAY, I REALLY ENJOYED YOUR MOVIE. 567 00:31:07,962 --> 00:31:08,863 >> THANK YOU. 568 00:31:08,863 --> 00:31:12,467 >> Jimmy: AND I KNOW IT SAYS RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE 569 00:31:12,467 --> 00:31:16,037 MOVIE, BASED ON A MOSTLY TRUE STORY AND I DON'T WANT TO SAY 570 00:31:16,037 --> 00:31:19,007 TOO MUCH BUT THIS IS A CRAZY STORY. 571 00:31:19,007 --> 00:31:19,340 >> YES. 572 00:31:19,340 --> 00:31:24,279 >> Jimmy: AND IT REALLY HAPPENED TO YOU AND FOR FEAR OF RUINING 573 00:31:24,279 --> 00:31:28,550 ANYTHING I'M GOING TO LET YOU TELL THE STORY AS IT APPEARS, IN 574 00:31:28,550 --> 00:31:31,319 LIFE OR ON FILM HOWEVER YOU WANT TO DESCRIBE IT. 575 00:31:31,319 --> 00:31:34,122 >> OKAY. I WISH I HAD A FLASHLIGHT. 576 00:31:34,122 --> 00:31:36,825 THIS IS A MOSTLY TRUE STORY BASED ON A LIE. 577 00:31:36,825 --> 00:31:41,129 THIS IS THE TRUE STORY I WAS FLYING FROM THE EAST TO WEST 578 00:31:41,129 --> 00:31:46,301 COAST ON A PLANE AND GUY SAT NEXT TO ME AND WE STARTED 579 00:31:46,301 --> 00:31:48,870 TALKING, HE WAS AROUND MY AGE, HE WAS SMART AND FUNNY BUT NOT 580 00:31:48,870 --> 00:31:51,339 HOT. AND SO. 581 00:31:51,339 --> 00:31:51,806 [ LAUGHTER ] 582 00:31:51,806 --> 00:31:55,977 I WAS LIKE, OKAY, WELL, THIS IS A NICE CONVERSATION AND WE 583 00:31:55,977 --> 00:31:59,681 EXCHANGED TWITTER HANDLES, THIS WAS 2015, BECAME FRIENDS AND 584 00:31:59,681 --> 00:32:03,084 OVER THE COURSE OF A YEAR BECAME REALLY CLOSE FRIEND AND THEN 585 00:32:03,084 --> 00:32:07,055 ABOUT A YEAR IN WE STARTED DATING, DATED ABOUT THREE MONTHS 586 00:32:07,055 --> 00:32:10,825 AND I FOUND OUT EVERY SINGLE THING HE SAID TO ME WAS A LIE 587 00:32:10,825 --> 00:32:13,328 FROM THE DAY I MET HIM ON THE PLANE. 588 00:32:13,328 --> 00:32:19,501 SO IT'S A MOSTLY TRUE STORY, THE FIRST TWO‐THIRDS WERE TRUE AND 589 00:32:19,501 --> 00:32:21,936 ALA ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD IF YOU'RE STILL IN THE 590 00:32:21,936 --> 00:32:26,241 BUILDING WE HAVE A REVISION FANTASY HORRIFIC TWIST ENDING. 591 00:32:26,241 --> 00:32:26,574 YEAH VMT. 592 00:32:26,574 --> 00:32:29,043 >> Jimmy: SO I HAVE A NUMBER OF QUESTIONS. 593 00:32:29,043 --> 00:32:37,452 IN THE FILM MARPG RECEIPT 594 00:32:37,452 --> 00:32:42,457 ‐‐ MARGARET CHO WAS YOUR FRIEND WAS SHE INVESTIGATING THE LIES. 595 00:32:42,457 --> 00:32:45,026 >> NO SHE WAS A COMBINATION OF THREE WOMEN. 596 00:32:45,026 --> 00:32:49,030 ONE OF WHOM WAS MY BEST FRIEND WHO WAS QUEER THAT WAS GREAT FOR 597 00:32:49,030 --> 00:32:53,668 ME, AND MY MOTHER WAS ACTUALLY LED THE CHARGE AND SHE'S LIKE 598 00:32:53,668 --> 00:32:57,372 THIS NEW YORKER, SHE'S LIKE SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT. 599 00:32:57,372 --> 00:33:00,842 >> Jimmy: SHE DIDN'T BELIEVE HE WAS WHO HE SAID HE WAS. 600 00:33:00,842 --> 00:33:05,280 >> SHE DID NOT, SHE DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE WERE JUST 601 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:10,852 FRIENDS BUT LITTLE THINGS SET OFF ALARMS IN HER EAR. 602 00:33:10,852 --> 00:33:16,824 WE MET HE SAID HE WENT TO YALE. MY FRIENDS AND COUSINS WENT TO 603 00:33:16,824 --> 00:33:20,328 YALE. SHE CALLED THE YALE'S REGISTER'S 604 00:33:20,328 --> 00:33:24,332 OFFICE TO CONFIRM IF A DENNIS KELLY HAD GONE THERE WHEN THEY 605 00:33:24,332 --> 00:33:27,702 SAID NO THAT'S WHAT LIT A FIRE ‐‐ 606 00:33:27,702 --> 00:33:28,202 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 607 00:33:28,202 --> 00:33:31,706 >> Jimmy: WOW. MOM'S NOT MESSING AROUND. 608 00:33:31,706 --> 00:33:35,543 >> THERE WERE COUPLE OTHER THINGS, YEAH. 609 00:33:35,543 --> 00:33:39,314 >> Jimmy: THE WAY THE LIES WERE PRESENTED THOUGH I HAVE TO 610 00:33:39,314 --> 00:33:42,383 IMAGINE WERE VERY ACCURATE. THIS GUY YOU HAVE TO SAY WAS A 611 00:33:42,383 --> 00:33:47,455 REALLY GOOD LIAR. HE'D SAY, YES, MY MOM HAS 612 00:33:47,455 --> 00:33:53,695 CANCER, MY MOM'S SICK, YOU WOULD SAY WE SHOULD GO VISIT HER AND 613 00:33:53,695 --> 00:33:58,266 THEN HE'D MAKE IT LIKE ON IMPOSITION, THEN, LIKE, NO WE 614 00:33:58,266 --> 00:34:01,836 CAN VISIT WHEN WE COME BACK. ALL OF THESE THINGS SEEM 615 00:34:01,836 --> 00:34:05,306 BELIEVABLE BECAUSE WHO WOULD IMAGINE ANYONE WOULD LIE THAT 616 00:34:05,306 --> 00:34:05,671 MUCH. 617 00:34:05,671 --> 00:34:09,577 >> THAT'S THE WHOLE CRUX OF THIS SOCIOPATHIC BEHAVIOR, WHO WOULD 618 00:34:09,577 --> 00:34:13,247 LIE ABOUT THAT. WHO WOULD LIE ABOUT COLLEAGUE ‐‐ 619 00:34:13,247 --> 00:34:18,152 THESE ARE BASIC 101, HERE'S WHERE I WENT TO SCHOOL, WHAT I 620 00:34:18,152 --> 00:34:23,358 DO AND WHO I AM. MOST PEOPLE DON'T HAVE THE 621 00:34:23,358 --> 00:34:24,859 WHEREWITHAL TO LIE RIGHT AFTER THE TOP. 622 00:34:24,859 --> 00:34:29,397 >> OR THEY WOULD LIE IF THEY KNOW IT'S A SHORT‐TERM SITUATION 623 00:34:29,397 --> 00:34:32,166 NOT LIKE WE'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND MADE UP EVERYTHING. 624 00:34:32,166 --> 00:34:36,237 >> I THINK HE WASN'T COUNTING ON ME BEING COOL ON THE PLANE, HE'S 625 00:34:36,237 --> 00:34:41,743 LIKE SHE'S SMART AND FUNNY, I'M LIKE, HA, THAT'S HOW I CATCH ALL 626 00:34:41,743 --> 00:34:42,677 OF THEM. 627 00:34:42,677 --> 00:34:43,077 >> Jimmy: HA HA. 628 00:34:43,077 --> 00:34:47,015 >> START LOW, YOU GO HIGH. BUT WE WERE FRIENDS FOR THAT 629 00:34:47,015 --> 00:34:50,952 YEAR AND THEN I WAS ALWAYS VERY HONEST, I WOULD GO OUT WITH 630 00:34:50,952 --> 00:34:55,390 OTHER GUYS, WE DON'T HAVE TO BE FRIENDS IF THAT MAKES YOU N 631 00:34:55,390 --> 00:34:57,959 COMFORTABLE. HE WAS LIKE, NO I'M DOWN. 632 00:34:57,959 --> 00:35:02,296 I WAS ACTUALLY ON A DATE WITH SOMEONE, TYLER CAMERON FROM THE 633 00:35:02,296 --> 00:35:09,037 BOTCH BACHELOR AND I GOT A CALL FROM HIM CRYING LIKE MY MOM'S 634 00:35:09,037 --> 00:35:13,941 BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER, I THINK HE SAW I WAS ON A DATE 635 00:35:13,941 --> 00:35:18,246 WITH SOMEONE HE COULDN'T COMPETE WITH AND YOUR HEARTBREAKS, IT'S 636 00:35:18,246 --> 00:35:20,014 ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS. 637 00:35:20,014 --> 00:35:24,452 >> Jimmy: EITHER THAT OR THAT POSTING GAVE HIS MOTHER CANCER. 638 00:35:24,452 --> 00:35:28,256 >> IF I HAD THAT KIND OF POWER I WOULD WIELD IT VERY GENTLY. 639 00:35:28,256 --> 00:35:31,793 IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS ONLY IN SOCIETY AS A WOMAN DO YOU REALLY 640 00:35:31,793 --> 00:35:37,165 THINK HE'S AN ABSOLUTE WART HOG BUT HE'S SO SWEET AND KIND I'LL 641 00:35:37,165 --> 00:35:41,035 BE SEXUAL WITH HIM. YOU NEVER SAY TO A GUY, LIKE, 642 00:35:41,035 --> 00:35:46,107 LOOK I KNOW SHE'S AN ARMADILLO BUT IF YOU CAN JUST PUT YOUR 643 00:35:46,107 --> 00:35:48,676 MOUTH ON HERS BECAUSE SHE'S VERY FUNNY. 644 00:35:48,676 --> 00:35:49,009 [ LAUGHTER ] 645 00:35:49,009 --> 00:35:51,312 IT'S TRUE. 646 00:35:51,312 --> 00:35:53,848 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU ‐‐ YOU'RE ON A TOUR RIGHT NOW? 647 00:35:53,848 --> 00:35:56,651 >> I'M ON TOUR AS WE'RE SPEAKING. 648 00:35:56,651 --> 00:35:59,587 >> Jimmy: WHERE ARE YOU GOING NEXT I'M GOING TO ALABAMA, OH, 649 00:35:59,587 --> 00:36:01,989 YOU HEARD OF IT. GOOD. 650 00:36:01,989 --> 00:36:05,793 >> Jimmy: WELL, DON'T TALK TO ANYONE ON THE PLANE. HA HA. 651 00:36:05,793 --> 00:36:09,931 >> NEVER AGAIN. I WEAR MY PPE WELDING GEAR AND I 652 00:36:09,931 --> 00:36:10,998 JUST FACE THE WINDOW. 653 00:36:10,998 --> 00:36:15,603 >> Jimmy: BY THE WAY PLEASE THANK YOUR HUSBAND HE SENT 654 00:36:15,603 --> 00:36:20,007 BURRITOS FROM THE RESTAURANT KOUFAX THEY HAVE THE WHOLE THING. 655 00:36:20,007 --> 00:36:23,444 >> WE KNOW YOU'RE FANS AND HE CAME UP WITH THAT BURRITO AND I 656 00:36:23,444 --> 00:36:26,547 WOULD LIKE TO THINK IT COULD BE A TRADITION WHICH MEANS I HAVE 657 00:36:26,547 --> 00:36:27,982 TO KEEP COMING BACK. 658 00:36:27,982 --> 00:36:30,818 >> Jimmy: IT IS A TRADITION. YOU AND BURRITOS. 659 00:36:30,818 --> 00:36:36,057 IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU. THE MOVIE, IT'S CALLED "GOOD ON 660 00:36:36,057 --> 00:36:39,193 PAPER" IT'S ON NETFLIX NOW. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 661 00:36:39,193 --> 00:36:41,395 LUKAS NELSON & PROMISE OF THE REAL. 662 00:36:41,395 --> 00:36:43,297 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 663 00:36:43,297 --> 00:36:43,662 ♪ 664 00:36:48,236 --> 00:36:51,162 >>> THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTEDBY 665 00:36:51,162 --> 00:36:56,734 MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 666 00:36:56,734 --> 00:36:59,103 >> Jimmy: THINK YOU WILL LIKE THIS. 667 00:36:59,103 --> 00:37:02,006 WITH THE SONG "PERENNIAL BLOOM," FROM THEIR NEW ALBUM, "A FEW 668 00:37:02,006 --> 00:37:05,776 STARS APART," LUKAS NELSON & PROMISE OF THE REAL! 669 00:37:05,776 --> 00:37:07,278 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 670 00:37:07,278 --> 00:37:09,514 ♪ SOME OF THE STILLNESS 671 00:37:09,514 --> 00:37:14,151 I HAVE FOUND IS BOUND TO LAST SOME OF THE RESTLESSNESS WILL 672 00:37:14,151 --> 00:37:22,927 LIVE ON ♪ 673 00:37:22,927 --> 00:37:25,496 ♪ SOME OF THE PAIN I'VE 674 00:37:25,496 --> 00:37:29,033 ALWAYS KNOWN IS HARD TO PASS BUT A MUTUAL BLESSING TAKES 675 00:37:29,033 --> 00:37:33,070 THE GAME ON ♪ 676 00:37:33,070 --> 00:37:42,580 ♪ SUMMER SEED BECOME MY 677 00:37:42,580 --> 00:37:49,420 PERENNIAL BLOOM 678 00:37:49,420 --> 00:37:56,894 SUMMER'S HEALING COMING SOON AND THE LOVE BETWEEN US AS ♪ 679 00:37:56,894 --> 00:37:58,529 ♪ I LAY WITH YOU SENDS ME 680 00:37:58,529 --> 00:38:03,834 FLOATING TO THE MOON 681 00:38:03,834 --> 00:38:09,974 BUT NOW YOU SOUND THE BELL 682 00:38:09,974 --> 00:38:17,949 THAT BRINGS ME BACK TO YOU ♪ 683 00:38:17,949 --> 00:38:18,783 ♪ SOMEONE BESIDE ME 684 00:38:18,783 --> 00:38:25,756 ACTUALLY SMILED WITHOUT A MASK 685 00:38:25,756 --> 00:38:30,394 I GUESS THERE'S NO USE ♪ 686 00:38:30,394 --> 00:38:32,663 ♪ PRETENDING LIKE WE'RE 687 00:38:32,663 --> 00:38:34,832 HIGH‐BORN SOMEONE INSIDE THE ACTION 688 00:38:34,832 --> 00:38:35,366 PULLED ME AWAY FROM THE ♪ 689 00:38:35,366 --> 00:38:37,168 ♪ BLAST ASSURING ME MY 690 00:38:37,168 --> 00:38:39,503 HEART WOULD NOT BE TORN 691 00:38:39,503 --> 00:38:45,509 SUMMER SEED BECOME MY 692 00:38:45,509 --> 00:38:52,149 PERENNIAL BLOOM ♪ 693 00:38:52,149 --> 00:38:59,957 ♪ SUMMER'S HEALING COMING 694 00:38:59,957 --> 00:39:06,464 SOON AND THE LOVE BETWEEN US 695 00:39:06,464 --> 00:39:12,069 AS I LAY WITH YOU SENDS ME 696 00:39:12,069 --> 00:39:16,941 FLOATING TO THE MOON ♪ 697 00:39:16,941 --> 00:39:27,251 ♪ BUT NOW YOU SOUND THE 698 00:39:27,251 --> 00:39:34,725 BELL THAT BRINGS ME BACK TO YOU SUMMER SEED BECOME MY ♪ 699 00:39:34,725 --> 00:39:39,296 ♪ PERENNIAL BLOOM 700 00:39:39,296 --> 00:39:45,236 SUMMER'S HEALING COMING SOON 701 00:39:45,236 --> 00:39:53,944 AND THE LOVE BETWEEN US AS I 702 00:39:53,944 --> 00:40:00,051 LAY WITH YOU ♪ 703 00:40:00,051 --> 00:40:00,551 ♪ SENDS ME FLOATING TO 704 00:40:00,551 --> 00:40:02,086 THE MOON BUT NOW YOU SOUND THE BELL 705 00:40:02,086 --> 00:40:06,691 THAT BRINGS ME BACK TO YOU ♪ 706 00:40:06,691 --> 00:40:17,034 ♪ 707 00:40:17,034 --> 00:40:20,905 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 708 00:40:21,305 --> 00:40:22,700 >>> THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY 709 00:40:22,700 --> 00:40:25,456 MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 710 00:40:28,145 --> 00:40:29,112 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK QUENTIN TARANTINO, 711 00:40:29,112 --> 00:40:30,180 ILIZA SHLESINGER, AND LUKAS NELSON 712 00:40:30,180 --> 00:40:34,785 & PROMISE OF THE REAL. APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. 713 00:40:34,785 --> 00:40:38,221 WE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR HIM. TOMORROW NIGHT, BILLY CRYSTAL 714 00:40:38,221 --> 00:40:39,289 AND EMMA CORRIN, WITH MUSIC FROM SEVENTEEN. 715 00:40:39,289 --> 00:40:41,458 AND PRESIDENT TRUMP, I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME. YOU BIG FAT BABY. 716 00:40:41,458 --> 00:40:44,027 THANKS FOR WATCHING, GOODNIGHT. 717 00:40:44,027 --> 00:40:44,361 [ LAUGHTER ] 718 00:40:44,361 --> 00:40:44,728 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]