1 00:00:01,153 --> 00:00:03,887 >> Announcer: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S “JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!” 2 00:00:03,887 --> 00:00:10,560 TONIGHT ‐‐ SARAH PAULSON, FRANK GRILLO, AND 3 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:14,731 MUSIC FROM LUCY DACUS, AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 4 00:00:14,731 --> 00:00:17,334 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 5 00:00:17,334 --> 00:00:22,272 ♪ 6 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:26,176 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. THANK YOU. WOW. 7 00:00:26,176 --> 00:00:33,316 WHERE DID ALL THESE PEOPLE COME FROM? 8 00:00:33,316 --> 00:00:38,355 FOR THOSE WATCHING AT HOME IF IT SOUNDS DIFFERENT IT IS BECAUSE 9 00:00:38,355 --> 00:00:44,294 MORE THAN AFTER 15 MONTHS AT HOME AND IN A MOSTLY EMPTY 10 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:48,198 STUDIO WE HAVE A REAL AUDIENCE. IT'S ALMOST LIKE A REAL SHOW. 11 00:00:48,198 --> 00:00:49,766 WE ARE NOT FULLY FULL YET. WE WERE ALLOWED TO LET 89 PEOPLE 12 00:00:49,766 --> 00:00:57,374 IN. SEARCH MASKED, VACCINATED AND 13 00:00:57,374 --> 00:01:00,977 JUST TO BE SAFE WE SHAVED EVERYONE FROM HEAD TO TOE. 14 00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:04,648 MOST OF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO AN EVENT OF ANY KIND IN A WHILE. 15 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:09,586 JUST A COUPLE OF REMINDERS, NUMBER ONE. YOU CAN'T MUTE ME. 16 00:01:09,586 --> 00:01:13,456 NUMBER TWO, IT IS RUDE TO GO TO SLEEP DURING THE SHOW. 17 00:01:13,456 --> 00:01:15,992 THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. 18 00:01:15,992 --> 00:01:17,661 IN FACT, WE LOOKED IT UP, THE LAST JOKE I TOLD IN FRONT OF A 19 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:20,697 FULL AUDIENCE WAS ABOUT TULSI GABBARD. REMEMBER HER? 20 00:01:20,697 --> 00:01:22,232 ME NEITHER. THE JOKE WAS “TULSI GABBARD IS 21 00:01:22,232 --> 00:01:24,334 STILL IN THE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT IN THE SAME WAY THE 22 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:27,470 MOVIE ‘CATS' IS STILL IN THE RUNNING FOR AN ACADEMY AWARD.” 23 00:01:27,470 --> 00:01:32,142 THAT'S ABOUT HOW WELL IT WENT OVER THE FIRST TIME TOO. 24 00:01:32,142 --> 00:01:37,981 THIS IS EXCITING. 25 00:01:37,981 --> 00:01:40,584 HOW MANY YOU OF YOU ARE ON VACATION? 26 00:01:40,584 --> 00:01:42,552 LET'S TALK WITH THESE TWO PEOPLE. RIGHT THERE. 27 00:01:42,552 --> 00:01:44,588 YOU ARE NOT ON VACATION? 28 00:01:44,588 --> 00:01:46,890 >> NO. WE FEEL LIKE WE ARE ON VACATION, 29 00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:48,658 BUT WE ARE NOT ON VACATION. 30 00:01:48,658 --> 00:01:50,927 >> YOU LIVE HERE IN L. A.? 31 00:01:50,927 --> 00:01:51,795 >> YES. 32 00:01:51,795 --> 00:01:56,600 >> Jimmy: YET YOU ARE WEARING THE TWO MOST TOURISTY SHIRTS. 33 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,736 YOU MUST BE VERY PROUD OF LIVING HERE? 34 00:01:59,736 --> 00:02:01,972 >> YES, YES. 35 00:02:01,972 --> 00:02:06,610 >> Jimmy: DID YOU DECIDE THAT HEY, WE MIGHT BE ON TV TONIGHT. 36 00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:09,479 LET'S GET OUR BEST STUFF TOGETHER. 37 00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:10,680 >> I HAVE TO REPRESENT. 38 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:14,484 >> Jimmy: DID YOU BUY THIS AT THE SOUVENIR SHOP OR WHAT IS 39 00:02:14,484 --> 00:02:14,985 GOING ON? 40 00:02:14,985 --> 00:02:16,887 >> YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT. 41 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,788 >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK? 42 00:02:18,788 --> 00:02:22,025 >> WE HAVE A MARKET RESEARCH GROUP. 43 00:02:22,025 --> 00:02:24,060 >> Jimmy: THE TWO OF YOU HAVE IT TOGETHER? 44 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:24,761 >> YES. 45 00:02:24,761 --> 00:02:26,563 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU MARRIED? 46 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:26,897 >> YES. 47 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,398 >> Jimmy: HOW IS THAT GOING? 48 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,366 >> PRETTY GOOD. 49 00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:34,104 >> IT IS LIKE A ROLLER COASTER, BUT IT'S ALWAYS GOING. 50 00:02:34,104 --> 00:02:37,408 >> Jimmy: SOMETIMES YOU THROW UP. OTHER TIMES YOU ARE SCREAMING 51 00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:37,741 RIGHT. 52 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:40,143 >> LOVE. LOVE. 53 00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:43,079 >> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN? DID YOU HAVE A GOOD FATHER'S DAY? 54 00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:46,249 WAS THERE A FATHER'S DAY PLANNED YESTERDAY? 55 00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:50,320 >> SPORADIC LOVE HAPPENING ALL DAY. 56 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,423 >> Jimmy: SPORADIC LOVE. THAT IS WHAT IT IS. 57 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:56,159 I AM GOING TO TRANSLATE THAT FROM DAD TO ENGLISH. 58 00:02:56,159 --> 00:02:58,595 THAT MEANS NOTHING HAPPENED. ALL RIGHT. 59 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:02,132 THEY DID NOTHING FOR YOU. YEAH. SPORADIC LOVE. 60 00:03:02,132 --> 00:03:06,002 WE ARE SO APPRECIATIVE, YOU GUYS AND EVERYONE COMING THAT ON THE 61 00:03:06,002 --> 00:03:09,639 WAY OUT TONIGHT EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE WILL GET A PAIR OF TUBE 62 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:14,611 SOCKS AND A BOILED EGG, SO THERE YOU GO. 63 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:20,884 IT'S OUR WAY OF SAYING THANK YOU AND WELCOME BACK. 64 00:03:20,884 --> 00:03:23,753 ALSO OUR WAY OF SAYING HEY, IT IS NOT ELLEN. 65 00:03:23,753 --> 00:03:27,023 I HOPE YOU REMEMBERED IT WAS FATHER'S DAY YESTERDAY. 66 00:03:27,023 --> 00:03:30,327 FATHER'S DAY HAS TO BE THE BIGGEST TIME OF THE YEAR FOR 67 00:03:30,327 --> 00:03:37,434 NAIL CLIPPERS. NAIL CLIPPERS AND NOSE HAIR 68 00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:40,270 TRIMMERS. GUILLERMO, HOW WAS YOUR FATHER'S 69 00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:40,637 DAY? 70 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,939 >> THEY DID IT ALL. IT IS FATHER'S DAY. 71 00:03:42,939 --> 00:03:46,776 >> Jimmy: DID YOU GET THE CHANCE TO MAKE SWEET LOVE, AS YOU WERE 72 00:03:46,776 --> 00:03:48,311 PREDICTING YOU WOULD? 73 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,347 >> OF COURSE, JIMMY. 74 00:03:50,347 --> 00:03:52,248 >> Jimmy: WHO ARE YOU POINTING AT? 75 00:03:52,248 --> 00:03:54,317 >> THE GUY OVER THERE. 76 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,520 >> Jimmy: HE SAID SPORADIC LOVE. 77 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:05,428 >> OKAY. YOU DID. CONGRATULATIONS. 78 00:04:05,428 --> 00:04:07,964 WHAT DID BENJI GET FOR YOU? 79 00:04:07,964 --> 00:04:09,799 >> A PAIR OF SHOES. 80 00:04:09,799 --> 00:04:11,267 >> Jimmy: WHAT KIND OF SHOES? 81 00:04:11,267 --> 00:04:13,003 >> TENNIS SHOES. 82 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,537 >> Jimmy: HE PICKED THEM OUT? 83 00:04:14,537 --> 00:04:17,140 >> WELL, MY WIFE DID, BUT IT WENT TOGETHE. 84 00:04:17,140 --> 00:04:19,476 >> Jimmy: A LOT OF DADS GOT SHORTS. 85 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:25,482 ARE YOU LAUGHING BECAUSE YOU GOT SHORTS? I GOT SHORTS. 86 00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:28,952 AND MY COUSIN SAL GOT SHORTS. I GUESS BECAUSE THIS IS THAT 87 00:04:28,952 --> 00:04:34,457 MAGICAL TIME OF THE YEAR EVERY DAD SWITCHES OUT THE 88 00:04:34,457 --> 00:04:39,829 UNFASHIONABLE CARGO PANTS FOR UNFASHIONABLE CARGO SPORTS, 89 00:04:39,829 --> 00:04:45,168 KEYS, WALLET, TWO STEELY DAN CDs, JUMPER CABLES, ANOTHER PAIR 90 00:04:45,168 --> 00:04:48,838 OF CARGO SHORTS JUST IN CASE IN THERE. 91 00:04:48,838 --> 00:04:53,777 YESTERDAY OUR FORMER PRESIDENT, DONALD TRUMP SHARED A FATHER'S 92 00:04:53,777 --> 00:04:56,546 DAY WISH. WRITING HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO 93 00:04:56,546 --> 00:05:02,085 ALL INCLUDING THE RADICAL LEFT, RHINOS AND OTHER LOSERS OF THE 94 00:05:02,085 --> 00:05:04,020 WORLD. POOR ERIC. 95 00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:07,524 >> HOPEFULLY EVENTUALLY EVERYONE WILL COME TOGETHER AND BY COME 96 00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:10,427 TOGETHER HE MEANS ACCEPT ME AS YOUR ONE TRUE GOD. 97 00:05:10,427 --> 00:05:13,696 I FEEL LIKE HIS HEART IS NOT EVEN IN THESE ANYMORE. 98 00:05:13,696 --> 00:05:19,669 I THINK MELANIA MIGHT BE PUTTING LEXIPRO IN HIS DIET COKE OR 99 00:05:19,669 --> 00:05:22,172 SOMETHING. WE ARE LEARNING HOW POORLY OUR 100 00:05:22,172 --> 00:05:25,175 KENTUCKY FRIED COMMANDER IN CHIEF MISMANAGED THE PANDEMIC 101 00:05:25,175 --> 00:05:29,045 THANKS TO A FORTHCOMING BOOK DETAILING THE CHAOS AND IN 102 00:05:29,045 --> 00:05:31,648 FIGHTING THAT PLAGUED TEAM TRUMP'S RESPONSE TO THE 103 00:05:31,648 --> 00:05:33,783 CORONAVIRUS. IT WAS WRITTEN BY REPORTERS FROM 104 00:05:33,783 --> 00:05:36,352 THE "WASHINGTON POST" WHO SAY AT THE BEGINNING OF THE PANDEMIC 105 00:05:36,352 --> 00:05:39,756 TRUMP SUGGESTED SENDING AMERICANS THAT HAD BEEN INFECTED 106 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,859 WITH COVID TRAVELING OVERSEAS TO GUANTAUNMO BAY. 107 00:05:42,859 --> 00:05:45,161 YOU KNOW HE SAID HE WANTS TO 108 00:05:45,161 --> 00:05:56,039 SEND THEM TO GERONIMO BAY. 109 00:05:56,039 --> 00:06:01,945 HE PROBABLY SENT A CAMERA CREW TOO AND CALLED IT SURVIRUS OR 110 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:04,547 SOMETHING. ANOTHER GOOD McNUGGET FOR THE 111 00:06:04,547 --> 00:06:06,749 BOOK. THEY SAY HE WAS VERY UPSET ABOUT 112 00:06:06,749 --> 00:06:10,086 COVID TESTING BECAUSE HE BELIEVED POSITIVE TESTS WOULD 113 00:06:10,086 --> 00:06:14,290 LOOK BAD AND HURT HIS CHANCES OF RE‐ELECTION AND HAD A CALL WITH 114 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:17,427 THE SECRETARY OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES AND HE DEMANDED 115 00:06:17,427 --> 00:06:22,232 TO KNOW WHAT IDIOT DECIDED TO MAKE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT DO 116 00:06:22,232 --> 00:06:27,770 TESTING AND ALEX WAS LIKE DO YOU MEAN JARED. IT WAS JARED. 117 00:06:27,770 --> 00:06:30,840 POOR JARED. WHEN JARED FOUND OUT THE MASKS 118 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:34,277 THE GOVERNMENT ORDERED WOULDN'T BE READY UNTIL JUNE HE GOT SO 119 00:06:34,277 --> 00:06:40,483 MAD HE YELLED AT A TOP OFFICIAL SAYING YOU EFFING MORON WE WILL 120 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:45,655 ALL BE DEAD BY JUNE AND THREW A PEN AT THE WALL, WHICH I IMAGINE 121 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,992 WENT LIKE THIS. I GOT A WHOLE BOX OF THESE 122 00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:52,228 SHARPIES IF YOU DON'T SHAPE UP. IN NEW YORK CITY THINGS ARE 123 00:06:52,228 --> 00:06:55,131 OPENING UP TO THE POINT WHERE PEOPLE ARE NOW TAKING FLIGHT. 124 00:06:55,131 --> 00:06:59,602 THIS IS A GUY THAT FLEW OVER TIMES SQUARE ON A HOVER BOARD. 125 00:06:59,602 --> 00:07:04,741 GREEN GOBLIN STYLE IN NEW YORK. 126 00:07:04,741 --> 00:07:11,281 THE PIGEONS WERE LIKE WHO IS THAT. I MISS THE OLD NEW YORK. 127 00:07:11,281 --> 00:07:18,087 SOMEBODY WOULD HAVE PULL HIM OFF OF IT, TAKEN IT AND PEE FROM IT. 128 00:07:18,087 --> 00:07:20,890 IN OTHER TRADITIONAL NEWS, AIRLINES ARE TALKING ABOUT 129 00:07:20,890 --> 00:07:25,662 JACKING UP THE FEES FOR OVERWEIGHT BAGGAGE TO MAKE UP 130 00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:30,400 FOR ALL OF THE WEIGHT PASSENGERS HAVE GAINED IN LOCKDOWN. 131 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,403 AVERAGE PASSENGER WEIGHT IS UP EIGHT POUNDS SINCE THE SPRING OF 132 00:07:33,403 --> 00:07:38,241 LAST YEAR GOING FROM 179 TO 187. OKAY. 133 00:07:38,241 --> 00:07:44,447 YOU KNOW MAYBE DON'T PUT YOUR PLANES AT THE END OF CINNABON 134 00:07:44,447 --> 00:07:46,816 ALLEY. THE OLYMPICS ARE STILL HAPPENING 135 00:07:46,816 --> 00:07:50,019 NEXT MONTH IN TOKYO. TOKYO RESIDENTS WILL BE ALLOWED 136 00:07:50,019 --> 00:07:54,057 TO GO TO THE GAMES BUT WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO CHEER AND HAVE TO 137 00:07:54,057 --> 00:08:00,129 GO STRAIGHT HOME AFTER. WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THE WINS 138 00:08:00,129 --> 00:08:04,067 THE GOLD MEDAL FOR BUZZ KILL. A LIVE SPORTING EVENT WITH NO 139 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:08,738 CHEERING ALLOWED. IT IS LIKE A DETROIT LIONS GAME. 140 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:12,609 THE EIGHT‐TIME WINNING SPRINTER USAIN BOLT AND HIS GIRLFRIEND 141 00:08:12,609 --> 00:08:15,011 PUBLICLY WELCOMED TWIN BABY BOYS YESTERDAY. 142 00:08:15,011 --> 00:08:19,115 THEY WERE DELIVERED IN A WORLD RECORD 9.58 SECONDS. 143 00:08:19,115 --> 00:08:22,218 BOLT POSTED THE FAMILY PHOTO TO 144 00:08:22,218 --> 00:08:28,224 INSTAGRAM, THE OLDER KID IS 145 00:08:28,224 --> 00:08:31,728 THEIR DAUGHTER, LIGHTNING BOLT, THUNDER BOLT. 146 00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:34,364 IS THAT EVEN A THING. I KNOW THERE IS A LIGHTNING. 147 00:08:34,364 --> 00:08:40,169 THERE ARE NO THUNDER BOLTS. THUNDER AND ST. LEO SOUNDS LIKE 148 00:08:40,169 --> 00:08:47,944 A COP MOVIE STARRING DANNY GLOVER AND RICHARD DRYFUSS. 149 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:51,981 REMEMBER WHEN NAMING A KID APPLE SEEMED NUTS. 150 00:08:51,981 --> 00:08:58,988 APOLOGIES TO THE PALTROWS. JAPAN IS STILL ONLY 5% 151 00:08:58,988 --> 00:09:00,923 VACCINATED. THEY ARE ABOUT SIX MONTHS BEHIND 152 00:09:00,923 --> 00:09:04,227 US. BUT THE OLYMPICS ARE COMING. THERE IS NOTHING THAT THEY CAN 153 00:09:04,227 --> 00:09:07,030 DO ABOUT IT. YOU KNOW, A LOT HAS CHANGED 154 00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:09,632 SINCE WE APPROVED THE VACCINE HERE. 155 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:13,236 A YEAR AGO YOU WERE AT HOME, ORDERING FOOD AND LEAVING IT ON 156 00:09:13,236 --> 00:09:15,538 THE PORCH UNTIL THE GERMS DIED OR WHATEVER. 157 00:09:15,538 --> 00:09:19,809 AND TO REMIND US OF HOW FAR WE HAVE COME, EVERY WEEK WE ARE 158 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:22,812 LOOKING BACK AT THE WAY THAT THINGS WERE A YEAR AGO AND HAVE 159 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,982 DONE IT AGAIN IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF THIS WEEK IN COVID 160 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:26,949 HISTORY. 161 00:09:26,949 --> 00:09:30,520 >> THIS WEEK IN COVID HISTORY. IT IS THE END OF JUNE, 2020. 162 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:36,926 A TRIUMPHANT TRUMP IS BACK FROM TULSA. 163 00:09:36,926 --> 00:09:40,864 >> DURING THE UNITED STATES THE DEATH TOLL IS NOW APPROACHING 164 00:09:40,864 --> 00:09:41,197 125,000. 165 00:09:41,197 --> 00:09:43,633 >> THE DEATH TOLL, THE WORST OF ANY COUNTRY. 166 00:09:43,633 --> 00:09:47,570 >> RIGHT NOW THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS WILL BE CRITICAL IN OUR 167 00:09:47,570 --> 00:09:49,706 ABILITY TO ADDRESS THE SURGING. 168 00:09:49,706 --> 00:09:54,677 >> OKAY MR. SURGING GENERAL, GO GET CRITICAL NUMBERS WHAT, ABOUT 169 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:58,147 WHAT REALLY MATTERS. TV RATING NUMBERS. 170 00:09:58,147 --> 00:10:02,318 >> THIS JUST CAME OUT. TRUMP RALLY GIVES FOX NEWS THE 171 00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:05,421 LARGEST SATURDAY NIGHT AUDIENCE INS IT HISTORY. 172 00:10:05,421 --> 00:10:08,491 >> LIES FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT. 173 00:10:08,491 --> 00:10:12,261 WHY IS AMERICA SO CUKOO FOR COVID. 174 00:10:12,261 --> 00:10:16,332 >> THE REASON WE HAVE MORE CASES THAN OTHER COUNTRIES IS BECAUSE 175 00:10:16,332 --> 00:10:18,568 OUR TESTING IS SO MUCH. 176 00:10:18,568 --> 00:10:19,369 >> ANY OTHER POSSIBLE CAUSE? 177 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:23,873 >> WHEN YOU DO TESTING YOU ARE GOING TO FIND MORE CASES. 178 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:28,411 >> IF YOU DO MORE TESTS. IF WE DIDN'T TEST WE WOULDN'T 179 00:10:28,411 --> 00:10:33,383 HAVE CASES. 180 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,486 >> QUICK. THIS CALLS FOR A DISTRACTION. 181 00:10:36,486 --> 00:10:38,254 LAY A FAT ONE US ON. 182 00:10:38,254 --> 00:10:41,824 >> IT IS THE BIGGEST RISK WE HAVE, THE MAIL‐IN BALLOT. 183 00:10:41,824 --> 00:10:45,428 >> MAIL‐IN BALLOTS ARE A DISASTER. 184 00:10:45,428 --> 00:10:47,463 THERE IS TREMENDOUS EVIDENCE OF FRAUD. 185 00:10:47,463 --> 00:10:51,734 >> MAIL‐IN BALLOTS, WHO WOULD EVER DO SUCH A TERRIBLE THING? 186 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:55,705 >> HIS CAMPAIGN RELEASING THIS VIDEO OF HIM SIGNING HIS BALLOT 187 00:10:55,705 --> 00:10:58,875 WHICH THE STATE OF FLORIDA CALLS VOTE BY MAIL. 188 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:02,812 >> TALK ABOUT MAIL PRIVILEGE, I WONDER WHAT NEW YORK'S EASY 189 00:11:02,812 --> 00:11:03,613 LOVING GOVERNOR THINKS. 190 00:11:03,613 --> 00:11:07,683 >> I THINK IT IS A SET UP AND THAT THEY GOING TO LOSE THE 191 00:11:07,683 --> 00:11:11,287 ELECTION AND CLAIM FRAUD AND I HOPE THEY DON'T DO THAT. 192 00:11:11,287 --> 00:11:15,925 >> HOPE IN ONE HAND AND AN EMPLOYEE'S BOTTOM IN THE OTHER. 193 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:18,127 THIS HAS BEEN THIS WEEK IN COVID HISTORY. 194 00:11:18,127 --> 00:11:24,634 >> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO. I TOLD YOU. ALL RIGHT. 195 00:11:24,634 --> 00:11:27,503 I DON'T KNOW. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I AM VERY 196 00:11:27,503 --> 00:11:31,574 HAPPY TO HAVE YOU HERE BUT IT FEELS WEIRD TO HAVE A BUNCH OF 197 00:11:31,574 --> 00:11:36,045 PEOPLE IN MASKS STARING AT ME LIKE I AM IN AN EXPERIMENT GONE 198 00:11:36,045 --> 00:11:36,379 WRONG. 199 00:11:36,379 --> 00:11:38,147 >> IT DOES JIMMY, YEAH. 200 00:11:38,147 --> 00:11:40,950 >> Jimmy: I AM HAPPY YOU ARE HERE. THANK YOU FOR COMING. 201 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:46,622 WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. FRANK GRILLO IS WITH US. 202 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:52,462 WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SARAH PAULSON. STICK AROUND. 203 00:12:04,407 --> 00:12:06,442 >> Jimmy: HI THERE. WELCOME BACK. 204 00:12:06,442 --> 00:12:09,579 WE HAVE HALF AN AUDIENCE. THAT'S PROGRESS. 205 00:12:09,579 --> 00:12:14,650 TONIGHT FROM THE NEW MOVIE, THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD, FRANK 206 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:18,988 GRILLO IS WITH US. AND THEN LATER, A TALENTED 207 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:24,494 SINGER‐SONGWRITER, HER NEW ALBUM “HOME VIDEO” COMES OUT FRIDAY, 208 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:28,898 MUSIC FROM LUCY DACUS. THIS WEEK, WE HAVE NEW SHOWS 209 00:12:28,898 --> 00:12:31,934 WITH BILLY CRYSTAL, CHRIS PRATT, QUENTIN TARANTINO, 210 00:12:31,934 --> 00:12:37,273 DONALD TRUMP'S FORMER LAWYER 211 00:12:37,273 --> 00:12:41,711 MICHAEL COHEN WILL BE HERE. 212 00:12:41,711 --> 00:12:47,149 MUSIC FROM LUKAS NELSON, SEVENTEEN, THE ISLEY BROTHERS 213 00:12:47,149 --> 00:12:53,723 AND SNOOP DOGG. OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN 214 00:12:53,723 --> 00:12:55,191 EXCEPTIONALLY GIFTED HUMAN BEING YOU KNOW FROM MANY FUN AND 215 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,459 WONDERFUL THINGS‐HER WORK IN THE RYAN MURPHY‐VERSE CONTINUES WITH 216 00:12:56,459 --> 00:12:57,960 THE ORIGIN STORY OF A NURSE NAMED MILDRED IN “RATCHED.” IT'S 217 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:04,467 ON NETFLIX NOW, PLEASE WELCOME SARAH PAULSON. 218 00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:09,805 ♪ 219 00:13:09,805 --> 00:13:18,814 ♪ 220 00:13:18,814 --> 00:13:22,018 >> Jimmy: HI SARAH. HOW ARE YOU? I LIKE YOUR DRESS. 221 00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:25,021 >> I DECIDED THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN OUT OF THE HOUSE IN A WHILE. 222 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:28,524 I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD PUT EVERYTHING THAT I OWN ON. 223 00:13:28,524 --> 00:13:31,761 WHY NOT. GIRLS IN SEQUINS, FEELS GOOD TO 224 00:13:31,761 --> 00:13:32,094 ME. 225 00:13:32,094 --> 00:13:35,965 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU REALLY NOT BEEN OUT OF THE HOUSE IN A WHILE? 226 00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:39,001 >> VERY BRIEFLY BUT VERY BRIEFLY. 227 00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:42,238 >> Jimmy: WHEN WE ASK YOU TO COME AND DO THE SHOW AND COME 228 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,808 HERE, YOU DIDN'T KNOW THERE WOULD BE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE. 229 00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:50,713 >> I FOUND OUT LAST NIGHT ALL OF THE LOVELY SUPER SPREADER FOLKS 230 00:13:50,713 --> 00:13:53,649 IN THE BACK. FOUR TO A ROOM BY THE WAY. 231 00:13:53,649 --> 00:13:57,553 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I DON'T WANT TO BE NEAR FOUR 232 00:13:57,553 --> 00:14:04,827 PEOPLE EVER AGAIN. YEAH. THIS WAS NERVE‐RACKING BUT YOU 233 00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:05,962 ALL LOOK LOVELY. 234 00:14:05,962 --> 00:14:08,397 >> Jimmy: THAT IS HOW THEY DO IT AT OHIO UNIVERSITY. 235 00:14:08,397 --> 00:14:14,503 THEY PILE THEM UP. SO, YOU TOOK IT VERY SERIOUSLY. 236 00:14:14,503 --> 00:14:17,239 >> I DID. I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. 237 00:14:17,239 --> 00:14:24,413 STILL TO THIS DAY I AM DOING A LOT OF SANITIZING. 238 00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:27,950 I WOULD SPRAY THE AIR IF I COULD. 239 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:33,222 >> Jimmy: SOME WEIRDOS ARE STILL WEARING GLOVES IN PUBLIC. 240 00:14:33,222 --> 00:14:36,425 >> I AM ALL FOR IT. I WALK AROUND IN A BUBBLE SUIT. 241 00:14:36,425 --> 00:14:39,562 >> Jimmy: THAT IS THE THING, THE C.D.C. SAID THAT THING ABOUT 242 00:14:39,562 --> 00:14:44,567 GETTING IT FROM THIS. YOU DON'T GET IT FROM THIS. 243 00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:45,534 >> I DON'T CARE. 244 00:14:45,534 --> 00:14:48,904 >> Jimmy: YOU DID GET OTHER STUFF FROM THAT LIKE COLDS ARE 245 00:14:48,904 --> 00:14:50,239 MAKING A COMEBACK. 246 00:14:50,239 --> 00:14:54,677 >> I DON'T WANT ANYTHING THAT MIMICS A COVID STORY, BECAUSE I 247 00:14:54,677 --> 00:14:58,481 AM ALREADY ON THE INTERNET TOO MUCH. IT IS NOT GOOD. 248 00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:01,617 >> Jimmy: MAYBE YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS, BUT I WOULD 249 00:15:01,617 --> 00:15:06,455 LIKE YOU TO THINK ABOUT IT. DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU JUST ENJOY 250 00:15:06,455 --> 00:15:13,696 BEING SEPARATED OR ARE YOU REALLY NEROTTIC ABOUT GETTING IT 251 00:15:13,696 --> 00:15:14,096 OR ‐‐ 252 00:15:14,096 --> 00:15:17,600 >> JIMMY. IT IS A TERRIFYING DISEASE. 253 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,770 >> Jimmy: LISTEN, I WAS VERY CAREFUL AND ALL OF THAT STUFF. 254 00:15:20,770 --> 00:15:24,740 I KNOW IT IS TERRIFYING. YOU SAY YOU ARE STILL SPRAYING 255 00:15:24,740 --> 00:15:30,913 STUFF. THAT FALLS INTO THE CATEGORY 256 00:15:30,913 --> 00:15:36,252 OF ‐‐ SO YOU DIDN'T ENJOY BEING BY YOURSELF? 257 00:15:36,252 --> 00:15:40,256 >> I DID. I DID. I AM JUST NOW, I FEEL LIKE IS IT 258 00:15:40,256 --> 00:15:43,092 THE GROUNDHOG? I FEEL LIKE LOOKING AROUND AND 259 00:15:43,092 --> 00:15:46,629 DECIDING WHETHER IT IS TIME TO LOOK AT MY OWN SHADOW OR NOT. 260 00:15:46,629 --> 00:15:51,967 SO I VENTURED OUT A LITTLE BIT. I WENT TO ONE DINNER WITH MY 261 00:15:51,967 --> 00:15:57,173 FRIEND, DIANE KEATON. SHE IS LIKE I HAVE BEEN GOING, 262 00:15:57,173 --> 00:16:00,376 SITTING OUTSIDE. I AM VACCINATED. WE CAN DO IT. 263 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:04,847 THIS IS MY FIRST DINNER IN 17 MONTHS OUTSIDE OF MY HOME. 264 00:16:04,847 --> 00:16:05,848 >> Jimmy: WOW. 265 00:16:05,848 --> 00:16:08,384 >> LIKE I SAID, VERY COMMITTED. I WENT OUT. 266 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:11,287 IT WAS ONE OF THE MORE TERRIFYING EXPERIENCES OF MY 267 00:16:11,287 --> 00:16:15,324 LIFE. THERE IS A GUY SITTING CADDIE 268 00:16:15,324 --> 00:16:18,728 CORNER FROM THE TABLE WHO SNEEZED APPROXIMATELY 14 TIMES, 269 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:23,766 COUGHED REPEATEDLY AND DIDN'T BOTHER TO STAND UP SAYING IT IS 270 00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:25,901 ALLERGIES. I DON'T WANT TO ALARM ANYONE. 271 00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:30,473 I FOUND IT REALLY RUDE. I AM LIKE DIANE, I THINK I HAVE 272 00:16:30,473 --> 00:16:33,809 TO GO. I DIDN'T LEAVE, BUT I WANTED TO. 273 00:16:33,809 --> 00:16:38,180 >> Jimmy: WHAT DOES DIANE KEATON EAT WHEN YOU GO TO DINNER? 274 00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:42,885 >> SHE EATS A LOT OF WINE WITH ICE. 275 00:16:42,885 --> 00:16:44,186 >> Jimmy: SHE EATS WINE? 276 00:16:44,186 --> 00:16:48,691 >> MORE THAN THE OTHER THING. SHE LIKES A LOT OF PASTA. 277 00:16:48,691 --> 00:16:50,760 SHE DOES NOT EAT MEAT OR FISH. 278 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,095 >> Jimmy: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FRIENDS? 279 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:55,698 >> WELL, HER DAUGHTER JUST GOT MARRIED. 280 00:16:55,698 --> 00:16:58,200 I KNEW HER DAUGHTER AS OF 2. 281 00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,201 >> Jimmy: WOW. 282 00:16:59,201 --> 00:17:02,171 >> 25 NOW. IT HAS BEEN A VERY LONG TIME. 283 00:17:02,171 --> 00:17:04,039 >> WERE YOU AT THE WEDDING? 284 00:17:04,039 --> 00:17:08,244 >> I WAS AT THE WEDDING. THESE ARE MY TWO EVENTS AND BOTH 285 00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:11,647 INVOLVED DIANE. 286 00:17:11,647 --> 00:17:12,281 >> Jimmy: IT WAS A BIG WEDDING? 287 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,985 >> BIGGER THAN I LIKED. IT WAS NERVE‐RACKING. 288 00:17:15,985 --> 00:17:19,321 IT IS WEIRD. A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE MASKED. 289 00:17:19,321 --> 00:17:21,090 THAT IS ALSO STRANGE. 290 00:17:21,090 --> 00:17:24,493 >> Jimmy: I HEAR A LOT OF THE GROOMS ARE WEARING VAILS FOR 291 00:17:24,493 --> 00:17:25,127 SAFETY. 292 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,296 >> I WOULD SUPPORT THIS. 293 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:30,566 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE KNOWN DIANE FOR QUITE SOME TIME. 294 00:17:30,566 --> 00:17:34,670 >> QUITE A LONG TIME, YES. I AM ASSUMING IT IS A TERM OF 295 00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:37,506 AFFECTION. EVERY TIME I CALL HER SHE 296 00:17:37,506 --> 00:17:42,711 ANSWERS WHAT DO YOU WANT OR HEY, HI. HI, DUMMY. HEY, IDIOT. 297 00:17:42,711 --> 00:17:45,414 A LOT OF IDIOT AND MORON. 298 00:17:45,414 --> 00:17:46,615 >> Jimmy: YOU SOUND LIKE HER. 299 00:17:46,615 --> 00:17:54,156 >> SHE IS LIKE HEY, HI. HI. WHAT. WHAT DO YOU WANT. 300 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:58,494 SHE IS THE DUMBEST PERSON I KNOW. SHE IS AS THAT TO ME A LOT. 301 00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,929 >> Jimmy: THAT IS A COMPLEMENT? 302 00:17:59,929 --> 00:18:05,201 >> A TERM OF AFFECTION. 303 00:18:05,201 --> 00:18:08,771 >> Jimmy: OKAY. I HEARD YOU AND CARRIE FISHER 304 00:18:08,771 --> 00:18:11,974 WERE FRIENDS. ANOTHER LEGEND OF ACTING. 305 00:18:11,974 --> 00:18:13,542 >> WRITING TOO. 306 00:18:13,542 --> 00:18:15,778 >> Jimmy: ALSO A IF FUNNY PERSON. 307 00:18:15,778 --> 00:18:20,683 >> SHE WAS A WONDERFUL WRITER. I AM OBSESSED WITH THE MOVIE SHE 308 00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:27,156 MADE, POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE WITH THE LATE GREAT MIKE 309 00:18:27,156 --> 00:18:30,192 NICHOLS. 310 00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:35,497 I LIKE THE SAD 80 PERSON CLAP. 311 00:18:35,497 --> 00:18:39,969 >> Jimmy: THE KIDS FROM OHIO ARE JUST PRETENDING LIKE THEY KNOW 312 00:18:39,969 --> 00:18:44,240 WHAT THAT IS. THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 313 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,008 POSTCARDS ARE NEVER MIND THE MOVIE. 314 00:18:46,008 --> 00:18:50,446 >> IT IS A GREAT, GREAT, GREAT MOVIE. 315 00:18:50,446 --> 00:18:57,086 IF YOU WATCH IT WITH ME IYOU AR 316 00:18:57,086 --> 00:19:01,090 GO TO WANT TO KILL ME. I WAS AT A PARTY WITH HER. 317 00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:05,461 I HAD TO GO BY MYSELF. NOTHING WORSE TO GO TO A PARTY 318 00:19:05,461 --> 00:19:12,835 ANYWAY BY YOURSELF. SHOWING UP LIKE ‐‐>> Jimmy: YOU 319 00:19:12,835 --> 00:19:15,504 ARE VERY TALENTED. YES. 320 00:19:15,504 --> 00:19:22,077 >> HUGE EXECUTIVES HOUSE. I HAD TO WALK IN THIS HALLWAY BY 321 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,680 MYSELF. CARRIE FISHER ALSO CAME ALONE. 322 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:29,418 SHE HAD GLITTER IN HER HAIR AND A POCKET OF SPRAY GLITTER IN HER 323 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:33,255 PURSE. WE REALLY HIT IT OFF. I TRIED NOT TO LET ON I WAS A 324 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,958 SUPER FAN. AT THE END OF THE NIGHT WE WERE 325 00:19:35,958 --> 00:19:38,761 BOTH DRIVING HOME. SHE WAS IN FRONT OF ME. 326 00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:43,032 I WAS AT MY CAR. WE WERE AT THE CORNER IN 327 00:19:43,032 --> 00:19:45,567 BEVERLEY GLENN. SHE ROLLED DOWN THE WINDOW 328 00:19:45,567 --> 00:19:51,340 SAYING HEY, DO YOU WANT TO COME TO A PARTY. YES. YES, I DO. 329 00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:55,577 YES, I REALLY DO. YEAH. YEAH. SHE SAID WRITE THIS DOWN. 330 00:19:55,577 --> 00:20:01,283 I WAS FUMBLING. I HAD LIP LINER IN MY CAR AND AN 331 00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:04,086 OLD McDONALD'S CUP. I WAS WRITING THE E‐MAIL DOWN 332 00:20:04,086 --> 00:20:07,790 AND I PROMPTLY WENT TO BUY A COMPUTER THE NEXT DAY. 333 00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:11,260 THE E‐MAIL ADDRESS THAT I CREATED THEN IS MY E‐MAIL 334 00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:14,930 ADDRESS TO THIS DAY AND IT IS A TERRIBLE E‐MAIL ADDRESS. 335 00:20:14,930 --> 00:20:21,270 I HAVE NOT SWITCHED IT. IT IS NOT AN AOL ADDRESS BUT THE 336 00:20:21,270 --> 00:20:27,076 E‐MAIL OF A VERY, VERY SIMPLE CHILD. 337 00:20:27,076 --> 00:20:35,150 SHE ASKED IF I WANTED TO COME TO 338 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:35,985 GOR ‐‐ 339 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:38,454 >> THEY DON'T KNOW. 340 00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:42,491 >> Jimmy: HE WAS A PERSON. A MAN. A HUMAN MAN. 341 00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:44,760 >> HE WAS A HUMAN MAN. 342 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,863 >> Jimmy: HE WOULD HAVE THESE INTERESTING PARTIES. 343 00:20:47,863 --> 00:20:49,598 A MAKE OUT PARTY. 344 00:20:49,598 --> 00:20:54,436 >> IT WAS HER IDEA TO CALL IT THE MAKE OUT PARTY. 345 00:20:54,436 --> 00:20:59,875 SHIRLEY McCLAIN. QUEEN LATIFAH. ALL OF THESE PEOPLE WERE THERE. 346 00:20:59,875 --> 00:21:01,310 I WAS OBVIOUSLY PANICKED. 347 00:21:01,310 --> 00:21:02,444 >> Jimmy: PEOPLE MAKE OUT? 348 00:21:02,444 --> 00:21:06,081 >> I DID NOT SEE ANYONE MAKE OUT BUT THERE WAS A HAT WITH NAMES 349 00:21:06,081 --> 00:21:10,919 IN IT AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE OUT WITH EVERYONE IN THE 350 00:21:10,919 --> 00:21:13,188 HAT. MATTHEW PERRY PULLED MY NAME OUT 351 00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:19,962 OF THE HAT AND PROMPTLY LEFT THE ROOM. HE IS LIKE AH, WELL. 352 00:21:19,962 --> 00:21:25,467 I GOT YOU. I AM LIKE LET'S KISS. HE IS LIKE NO. NO. 353 00:21:25,467 --> 00:21:29,471 WE KNEW EACH OTHER THROUGH ONE OF MY VERY BEST FRIENDS. 354 00:21:29,471 --> 00:21:34,076 IT WAS AWKWARD. WE ENDED UP PLAYING ROMANTIC 355 00:21:34,076 --> 00:21:37,446 PARTNERS YEARS LATER ON A SHOW AND I GOT MY KISS. 356 00:21:37,446 --> 00:21:38,781 >> Jimmy: YOU DID? 357 00:21:38,781 --> 00:21:43,952 >> I GOT SEVERAL KISSES. AND BOY DID HE REGRET NOT TAKING 358 00:21:43,952 --> 00:21:45,020 ME UP ON THAT. 359 00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:48,724 >> Jimmy: I THINK MATTHEW MIGHT NOT REMEMBER SOME OF THOSE YEARS. 360 00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:51,794 >> HE MIGHT NOT. HE PROBABLY THINKS WE DID MAKE 361 00:21:51,794 --> 00:21:54,463 OUT AT THE PARTY. 362 00:21:54,463 --> 00:21:56,331 >> Jimmy: SARAH PAULSON IS WITH US. 363 00:21:56,331 --> 00:21:58,428 HER SHOW IS "RACHET" ON NETFLIX. WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 364 00:22:03,727 --> 00:22:12,313 >> THIS PATIENT ADMITTED HERSELF TO THE HOSPITAL AND SHE IS FREE 365 00:22:12,313 --> 00:22:20,255 TO LEAVE WHENEVER SHE CHOOSES. 366 00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:24,459 DO YOU BELIEVE THE DOCTOR'S TREATMENTS HAVE HELPED YOU? 367 00:22:24,459 --> 00:22:28,663 >> I BELIEVE HE IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN HELP ME. 368 00:22:28,663 --> 00:22:33,468 >> AS HEAD NURSE I AM ALLOWING BOTH OF THEM TO GO. 369 00:22:33,468 --> 00:22:39,374 >> Jimmy: THAT IS SARAH PAULSON IN "RACHET" WHICH IS ON NETFLIX 370 00:22:39,374 --> 00:22:41,776 NOW. SARAH, CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG. 371 00:22:41,776 --> 00:22:46,848 BUT THIS IS WHEN YOU GET A ROLE LIKE THIS, NURSE RACHET FROM ONE 372 00:22:46,848 --> 00:22:52,187 FLEW OVR THE CUKOO'S NEST. 373 00:22:52,187 --> 00:22:57,358 >> I DID REALLY WANT TO DO IT BUT RYAN WASN'T INTERESTED IN ME 374 00:22:57,358 --> 00:23:01,029 DOING IT FIRST. I THINK HE WAS GO TO OFFER IT TO 375 00:23:01,029 --> 00:23:05,500 A VERY FANCY ACADEMY AWARD WINNING LADY, AND I SORT OF WENT 376 00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:09,671 IN AND TOOK IT. I WAS LIKE WE HAVE DONE A LOT OF 377 00:23:09,671 --> 00:23:14,142 THINGS. CAN I GET THIS PART. YEAH. HE DID GIVE IT TO ME. 378 00:23:14,142 --> 00:23:16,044 >> Jimmy: HE CERTAINLY DID THE RIGHT THING. 379 00:23:16,044 --> 00:23:18,413 >> HE LET ME HAVE IT. 380 00:23:18,413 --> 00:23:21,983 >> Jimmy: IS IT APPROPRIATE, AND I AM NOT AN ACTOR. 381 00:23:21,983 --> 00:23:27,755 WOULD YOU GO AND WATCH THE MOVIE AGAIN? WOULD YOU LOOK AT IT? 382 00:23:27,755 --> 00:23:32,126 >> AT FIRST I WASN'T GOING TO BECAUSE IT IS GOING TO GET IN MY 383 00:23:32,126 --> 00:23:35,663 HEAD. AN ACADEMY AWARD WINNING PERFORMANCE. 384 00:23:35,663 --> 00:23:40,635 I THINK IT IS ON THE LIST OF TOP 100 VILLAINS, SHE IS NUMBER 385 00:23:40,635 --> 00:23:45,006 FIVE. I AM THINKING THIS HAD IS A MISTAKE THAT I AM ATTEMPTING TO 386 00:23:45,006 --> 00:23:47,642 DO THIS. I REALLY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THE 387 00:23:47,642 --> 00:23:50,812 LARGEST WAY TO HONOR HER PERFORMANCE IS IF I WATCHED IT 388 00:23:50,812 --> 00:23:55,083 AND TRIED TO STEAL AS MUCH OF HER PERFORMANCE AS I COULD AND 389 00:23:55,083 --> 00:23:59,420 PASS IT OFF AS MY OWN CREATION. ANY ACTOR WILL TELL YOU THAT IS 390 00:23:59,420 --> 00:24:03,591 WHAT THEY DO. BUT YOU DO IT. YEAH. WHY NOT. 391 00:24:03,591 --> 00:24:05,760 >> Jimmy: PEOPLE DON'T WANT IT TO BE THAT DIFFERENT. 392 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:09,631 >> BECAUSE IT IS AN ORIGIN STORY, I WANTED TO HAVE HER 393 00:24:09,631 --> 00:24:12,000 POSTURE. I WANTED TO HAVE CERTAIN THINGS 394 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:16,170 THAT MIGHT BE IN VIEWERS MIND ABOUT THE WAY THAT SHE PORTRAYED 395 00:24:16,170 --> 00:24:16,704 HER. 396 00:24:16,704 --> 00:24:19,440 >> Jimmy: YOU DO HAVE GOOD POSTURE. 397 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,977 >> I REALLY AM PRETENDING TO HAVE GREAT POSTURE. 398 00:24:22,977 --> 00:24:26,915 >> Jimmy: DO YOU FIND OUT WHEN YOU PRETEND TO HAVE GOOD POSTURE 399 00:24:26,915 --> 00:24:30,451 THAT YOU WIND UP HAVING GOOD POSTURE. 400 00:24:30,451 --> 00:24:32,487 >> NO. THE MINUTE IT IS OVER. 401 00:24:32,487 --> 00:24:35,924 I HAVE A PROBLEM. IT IS THE POSTURE THING. 402 00:24:35,924 --> 00:24:40,328 ME AND MY CHIROPRACTOR HAVE AN APPOINTMENT SCHEDULED WHEN ALL 403 00:24:40,328 --> 00:24:43,231 OF THIS IS OVER. MAYBE NEVER. 404 00:24:43,231 --> 00:24:49,904 >> Jimmy: LAST TIME YOU WERE WITH US, YOU WERE WORKING ON THE 405 00:24:49,904 --> 00:24:50,605 MONICA ‐‐ 406 00:24:50,605 --> 00:24:55,777 >> I AM STILL WORKING ON THAT. WE WILL STILL SHOOTING IT. 407 00:24:55,777 --> 00:24:59,147 IT IS COMING OUT VERY SOON, SEPTEMBER 7th. 408 00:24:59,147 --> 00:25:04,385 SO, THAT'S CRAZY. 409 00:25:04,385 --> 00:25:09,023 >> Jimmy: FOR THOSE THAT DO NOT REMEMBER THE STORY. 410 00:25:09,023 --> 00:25:12,126 >> THOSE PEOPLE IN OHIO DON'T REMEMBER IT. 411 00:25:12,126 --> 00:25:14,662 IOWA, OHIO, SAME THING. 412 00:25:14,662 --> 00:25:18,566 >> Jimmy: THERE WAS A PRESIDENT NAMED BILL CLINTON AND SOMETHING 413 00:25:18,566 --> 00:25:22,403 VERY DIRTY HAPPENED AND NOW THEY ARE MAKING A SHOW ABOUT IT. 414 00:25:22,403 --> 00:25:25,907 HE WILL BE EXCITED ABOUT IT. DO YOU THINK HE WILL WATCH THIS? 415 00:25:25,907 --> 00:25:29,877 >> I, I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. 416 00:25:29,877 --> 00:25:32,347 I AM THINKING MAYBE NO. 417 00:25:32,347 --> 00:25:35,049 >> Jimmy: THEY ARE GO TO PRETEND THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN. 418 00:25:35,049 --> 00:25:40,421 >> YOU ARE PLAYING THIS PART. THEY WERE CLOSE AND LINDA TRIPP 419 00:25:40,421 --> 00:25:43,057 STARTED TO RECORD ALL OF MONICA'S PHONE CALLS. 420 00:25:43,057 --> 00:25:46,494 A REAL BUSY BODY. > JIMMY, THIS IS A LONG 421 00:25:46,494 --> 00:25:49,931 CONVERSATION. I THINK OF HER AS TRYING VERY 422 00:25:49,931 --> 00:25:56,037 HARD ‐‐ WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT LATER. YEAH. YEAH. 423 00:25:56,037 --> 00:25:58,206 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE SHOOTING THIS IN WASHINGTON, RIGHT. 424 00:25:58,206 --> 00:26:01,743 >> WE WENT TO WASHINGTON TO SHOOT, YEAH. 425 00:26:01,743 --> 00:26:06,014 >> Jimmy: AND FOR SOME REASON, AND I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND 426 00:26:06,014 --> 00:26:11,619 WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS VIDEO. BEANIE SHOOTS A VIDEO OF YOU, 427 00:26:11,619 --> 00:26:15,289 AND YOU ARE WALKING THROUGH THE PARK. YOU HAPPEN UPON SOME DUCKS. 428 00:26:15,289 --> 00:26:19,794 >> WHO HAPPENS UPON DUCKS. WALKING IN THE MIDDLE OF 429 00:26:19,794 --> 00:26:23,331 WASHINGTON D. C., I DECIDED I NEEDED TO TALK TO IT. 430 00:26:23,331 --> 00:26:27,502 I HAD BEEN WORKING WITH THE MOVEMENT COACH PLAYING LINDA 431 00:26:27,502 --> 00:26:31,439 BECAUSE SHE HAD A WALK AND WAY OF CARRYING HERSELF. 432 00:26:31,439 --> 00:26:36,711 I DECIDED I WANTED TO BE LIKE THE DUCK. 433 00:26:36,711 --> 00:26:40,481 >> Jimmy: AND YOUR FRIEND AND CO‐WORKER DECIDED TO PULL OUT 434 00:26:40,481 --> 00:26:41,015 HER PHONE. 435 00:26:41,015 --> 00:26:52,060 >> AND PUT IT ON THE INTERNET. 436 00:26:52,060 --> 00:26:56,597 >> WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT. YOU CAN'T LET IT JUST GO. 437 00:26:56,597 --> 00:26:58,466 I KNOW IT. 438 00:26:58,466 --> 00:27:04,972 RUN AWAY FROM ME. 439 00:27:04,972 --> 00:27:08,743 >> Jimmy: I WOULD THINK THAT YOU LOST YOUR MARBLES IF I DID NOT 440 00:27:08,743 --> 00:27:09,610 HAVE ANY CONTEXT. 441 00:27:09,610 --> 00:27:12,246 >> I KNOW. TO ME IT MADE ALL OF THE SENSE 442 00:27:12,246 --> 00:27:16,918 IN THE WORLD TO TRY TO COMMUNICATE WITH A DUCK. 443 00:27:16,918 --> 00:27:20,054 PROBABLY MEANS I HAVE BEEN INSIDE MY HOUSE TOO LONG. 444 00:27:20,054 --> 00:27:22,290 >> Jimmy: TIME TO MAKE FRIENDS AGAIN. 445 00:27:22,290 --> 00:27:28,296 >> I WANTED TO EMBODY THE DUCK AND I DID A LITTLE WALK. 446 00:27:28,296 --> 00:27:30,665 >> Jimmy: YOU NAMED THE DUCK. 447 00:27:30,665 --> 00:27:35,470 >> I AM SAYING BERTRAND, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE. 448 00:27:35,470 --> 00:27:37,004 HE DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. 449 00:27:37,004 --> 00:27:40,742 >> Jimmy: IT IS VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU AND I AM GLAD YOU ARE OUT. 450 00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:44,712 YOU NEED TO SOCIALIZE AND ACCLIMATE WITH SOCIETY AGAIN. 451 00:27:44,712 --> 00:27:48,216 DO YOU HAVE ANY ROOMS? YOU MIGHT WANT TO COME AND STAY 452 00:27:48,216 --> 00:27:52,186 AT THE HOUSE? SARAH PAULSON EVERYBODY. 453 00:27:52,186 --> 00:27:55,056 "RACHET" IS ON NETFLIX NOW. WHEN WE COME BACK IT'S FRANK 454 00:27:55,056 --> 00:27:55,757 GRILLO. 455 00:28:06,801 --> 00:28:10,004 >> WE ARE BACK. LUCY DACUS IS ON THE WAY. 456 00:28:10,004 --> 00:28:14,375 OUR NEXT GUEST IS TOUGH ON THE OUTSIDE AND TENDER ON THE INSIDE. 457 00:28:14,375 --> 00:28:20,181 HIS NEW MOVIE WITH RYAN REYNOLDS, SAM JACKSON AND SALMA 458 00:28:20,181 --> 00:28:22,784 HAYEK IS THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD IS IN THEATERS NOW. 459 00:28:22,784 --> 00:28:24,552 PLEASE WELCOME FRANK GRILLO. 460 00:28:24,552 --> 00:28:27,755 ♪ 461 00:28:27,755 --> 00:28:37,732 ♪ 462 00:28:37,732 --> 00:28:39,867 >> Jimmy: HOW IS IT GOING? 463 00:28:39,867 --> 00:28:41,903 >> AN AUDIENCE. 464 00:28:41,903 --> 00:28:43,571 >> Jimmy: THERE ARE PEOPLE. IT'S NICE. 465 00:28:43,571 --> 00:28:47,175 >> HOW ARE YOU? GOD, YOU ARE SO GOOD LOOKING. 466 00:28:47,175 --> 00:28:50,077 >> Jimmy: PLEASE. I THINK YOU ARE LOOKING AT YOUR 467 00:28:50,077 --> 00:28:54,182 OWN REFLECTION. HOW ARE YOU DOING? 468 00:28:54,182 --> 00:28:57,018 >> I'M GOOD. FATHER'S DAY WAS GOOD. 469 00:28:57,018 --> 00:29:02,924 I AM A SINGLE FATHER. AND IT WAS THE BEST FATHER'S DAY 470 00:29:02,924 --> 00:29:04,325 I EVER HAD. 471 00:29:04,325 --> 00:29:06,127 >> Jimmy: GREAT. THAT'S GOOD. 472 00:29:06,127 --> 00:29:09,397 >> WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT, pEAT WHATEVER WE WANT AND SAY 473 00:29:09,397 --> 00:29:10,798 WHATEVER WE WANT. 474 00:29:10,798 --> 00:29:15,603 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE THREE BOYS. WHAT IS YOUR POLICY ON CURSING? 475 00:29:15,603 --> 00:29:21,042 >> I LOVE IT. I LIKE IT. I ENCOURAGE IT. 476 00:29:21,042 --> 00:29:24,178 I THINK CURSING FOR YOUNG BOYS IS VERY HEALTHY. 477 00:29:24,178 --> 00:29:27,517 >> Jimmy: DID YOU TELL THEM YOU HAVE 60 SECONDS SAY WHATEVER YOU 478 00:29:27,517 --> 00:29:27,882 WANT. 479 00:29:27,882 --> 00:29:30,418 >> YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT. 480 00:29:30,418 --> 00:29:30,985 >> Jimmy: ANY TIME? 481 00:29:30,985 --> 00:29:34,622 >> HERE IS THE DEAL. WHEN YOU ARE GETTING DIVORCED 482 00:29:34,622 --> 00:29:38,993 OR ‐‐ I WANT MY KIDS TO WANT TO STAY AT MY HOUSE. 483 00:29:38,993 --> 00:29:44,999 SO WHAT I DO IS THEY CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT. 484 00:29:44,999 --> 00:29:51,706 YOU CAN EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT. YOU WANT A BEER. YOU'RE 12. 485 00:29:51,706 --> 00:29:55,409 I DON'T CARE. 486 00:29:55,409 --> 00:29:59,847 >> Jimmy: WHY DO I IMAGINE THE CLIP BEING SHOWN IN THE CUSTODY 487 00:29:59,847 --> 00:30:04,018 HEARING. HE WAS KIDDING, EVERYBODY, RIGHT. 488 00:30:04,018 --> 00:30:06,520 >> IT WAS A JOKE. 489 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,322 >> Jimmy: HOW OLD ARE THE KIDS? 490 00:30:08,322 --> 00:30:11,959 >> ONE IS 13, ONE IS 17 AND ONE IS 24. 491 00:30:11,959 --> 00:30:14,662 >> Jimmy: YOU GOT A COUPLE OF MEN THERE. 492 00:30:14,662 --> 00:30:17,565 >> THEY HAVE MORE HAIR ON THEIR BODY THAN I DO. 493 00:30:17,565 --> 00:30:25,172 >> Jimmy: THAT IS GOOD. WELL, I GUESS, YES. I DON'T KNOW. 494 00:30:25,172 --> 00:30:27,375 I DON'T KNOW. DO YOU EVER BOX WITH THEM? 495 00:30:27,375 --> 00:30:31,846 >> ALL OF THEM BOX. MY BIG GUY BOXES WITH ME SINCE 496 00:30:31,846 --> 00:30:34,482 HE IS 11 YEARS OLD. 497 00:30:34,482 --> 00:30:36,217 >> Jimmy: DO YOU TAKE IT EASY ON YOUR SON? 498 00:30:36,217 --> 00:30:39,054 >> NO. DON'T TAKE IT EASY ON ANY OF 499 00:30:39,054 --> 00:30:39,387 THEM. 500 00:30:39,387 --> 00:30:43,824 >> Jimmy: I HAVE TWO SONS. ONCE WE WENT TO A PAINTBALL 501 00:30:43,824 --> 00:30:45,860 THING, RIGHT. AND I WAS ON ONE TEAM. 502 00:30:45,860 --> 00:30:49,931 HE WAS ON ANOTHER TEAM WITH HIS FRIEND, MOSTLY HIS FRIENDS AND 503 00:30:49,931 --> 00:30:54,168 ME AND ONE OTHER DAD. I SEE HIM ACROSS THE WAY. 504 00:30:54,168 --> 00:30:58,940 I GOT THE SIGHTS. I SEE HIS HEAD. I HAD A MOMENT LIKE AM I GO TO 505 00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:04,745 SHOOT MY SON IN THE HEAD. AND THE NEXT SECOND ONE WHIZZED 506 00:31:04,745 --> 00:31:08,282 BY MY EAR. SHE SHOT ME IN THE HEAD. 507 00:31:08,282 --> 00:31:10,952 >> THAT IS WHY. THEY DON'T CARE. 508 00:31:10,952 --> 00:31:16,090 MY LITTLE GUY IS A GAMER. LAST NIGHT, YOU KNOW THEY WERE 509 00:31:16,090 --> 00:31:19,493 WITH ME FOR THE WEEKEND. IT IS 4:00 IN THE MORNING. 510 00:31:19,493 --> 00:31:22,863 I HEAR VOICES IN THE HOUSE. I WALK INTO HIS ROOM. 511 00:31:22,863 --> 00:31:26,534 I GO HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. IT IS 4:00 IN THE MORNING. 512 00:31:26,534 --> 00:31:31,272 HE SAID IS IT. GIVE ME TEN MINUTES. 513 00:31:31,272 --> 00:31:36,844 I AM LIKE I WILL BEAT YOU TO DEATH. GO TO BED. 514 00:31:36,844 --> 00:31:40,081 >> Jimmy: GIVE ME TEN MINUTES. YOU HAVE TO GET TO THE NEXT 515 00:31:40,081 --> 00:31:44,452 LEVEL. YOU KNOW THAT. YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE BEFORE THE 516 00:31:44,452 --> 00:31:46,721 LEVEL. DO YOU WATCH THESE CELEBRITY 517 00:31:46,721 --> 00:31:48,522 BOXING, YOUTUBE STARS WHO HAVE BEEN FIGHTING? 518 00:31:48,522 --> 00:31:51,859 >> I DO. I DO. 519 00:31:51,859 --> 00:31:52,226 >> Jimmy: YOU DO. 520 00:31:52,226 --> 00:31:52,560 >> YEAH. 521 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:53,794 >> Jimmy: I HAVE BEEN OFFERED TO 522 00:31:53,794 --> 00:32:01,268 FIGHT SOME OF THEM. 523 00:32:01,268 --> 00:32:07,541 >> I AM OLD. LOOK. THANK GOD THESE GUYS HAVE A WAY 524 00:32:07,541 --> 00:32:10,678 TO MAKE A LIVING. THESE KIDS HAVE CARVED ON OUT A 525 00:32:10,678 --> 00:32:14,782 NICHE FOR THEMSELVES. 526 00:32:14,782 --> 00:32:17,151 >> Jimmy: MAYWEATHER MUST HAVE $100 MILLION. 527 00:32:17,151 --> 00:32:23,491 >> ISN'T IT SAD TO WATCH THE BIG L LEGACY. 528 00:32:23,491 --> 00:32:25,426 >> Jimmy: I HATE IT. IT SOILS THE SPORT. 529 00:32:25,426 --> 00:32:30,765 >> IT DOES. LIKE YOU, I AM A BOXING PURIST. 530 00:32:30,765 --> 00:32:32,199 I LOVE BOXING. 531 00:32:32,199 --> 00:32:34,201 >> Jimmy: WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE? 532 00:32:34,201 --> 00:32:36,670 >> EVER? ALI. 533 00:32:36,670 --> 00:32:41,442 >> Jimmy: HE IS THE BEST. NOT JUST THE BEST BOXER. 534 00:32:41,442 --> 00:32:47,915 >> I MET HIM AT MY FRIEND'S PREMIER FOR "MIRACLE." 535 00:32:47,915 --> 00:32:51,519 SOMEONE CAME OVER TO ME AND SAID DO YOU WANT TO MEET THE CHAMP. 536 00:32:51,519 --> 00:32:54,455 I AM LIKE MY GOODNESS. DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN THE 537 00:32:54,455 --> 00:33:00,194 BEETLES, ALL OF THE GIRLS WOULD SCREAM AND CRY AND GO INTO 538 00:33:00,194 --> 00:33:00,928 CONVULSIONS. 539 00:33:00,928 --> 00:33:03,631 >> Jimmy: THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED WITH THEM WHEN I WALKED OUT HERE. 540 00:33:03,631 --> 00:33:07,935 >> YOU WOULD GO HOW STUPID DOES THAT LOOK, THESE STUPID GIRLS. 541 00:33:07,935 --> 00:33:10,805 CUT TO THE THERE IS ALI. 542 00:33:10,805 --> 00:33:17,878 I LITERALLY WENT EH. EH. 543 00:33:17,878 --> 00:33:21,348 I STARTED TO CRY. I SWEAR TO GOD, I STARTED TO CRY. 544 00:33:21,348 --> 00:33:25,886 HE WAS HOLDING ONE OF MY ‐‐ SHAKING MY HAND AND PUT HIS 545 00:33:25,886 --> 00:33:30,825 OTHER HAND AND PULLED ME CLOSE TO HIM LIKE YES. 546 00:33:30,825 --> 00:33:34,061 LITTLE ITALIAN MAN, I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE FEELING AND KIND OF 547 00:33:34,061 --> 00:33:38,699 LET ME GO LIKE A BUTTERFLY. IT WAS THE MOST PROFOUND THING. 548 00:33:38,699 --> 00:33:40,367 I COULD NOT SPEAK. 549 00:33:40,367 --> 00:33:43,070 >> IT PROBABLY HAPPENED TO HIM SIX TIMES A DAY. 550 00:33:43,070 --> 00:33:44,371 >> I KNOW, RIGHT. 551 00:33:44,371 --> 00:33:47,875 >> Jimmy: PEOPLE WERE JUST OVERWHELMED MEETING HIM. 552 00:33:47,875 --> 00:33:52,146 >> IN MY GENERATION HE REPRESENTED SOMETHING THAT 553 00:33:52,146 --> 00:33:53,080 TRANSCENDED BOXING. 554 00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,717 >> Jimmy: FORGET ABOUT THE BOXING, BUT JUST WATCHING HIM 555 00:33:56,717 --> 00:33:59,286 SPEAK. I WAS WATCHING A FEW WEEKS AGO, 556 00:33:59,286 --> 00:34:05,192 A CLIP OF HIM ON A TALK SHOW. HE IS JUST LIKE ONE OF THE MOST 557 00:34:05,192 --> 00:34:07,161 BRILLIANT PEOPLE EVER. 558 00:34:07,161 --> 00:34:09,763 >> EVER. AND PROBABLY ‐‐ WE WERE JUST 559 00:34:09,763 --> 00:34:15,002 TALKING ABOUT THIS BACKSTAGE. I LOVE TO SAY BACKSTAGE. 560 00:34:15,002 --> 00:34:19,640 BUT PROBABLY ASIDE FROM CHRIST MAYBE ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS 561 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:21,475 PEOPLE, HUMAN BEINGS. 562 00:34:21,475 --> 00:34:24,211 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE RIGHT.3 OF COURSE. 563 00:34:24,211 --> 00:34:27,481 >> BEFORE THE INTERNET. THERE WAS NO INTERNET. 564 00:34:27,481 --> 00:34:31,886 YOU COULD GO TO ANY PART OF THE GLOBE AND PEOPLE WOULD KNOW WHO 565 00:34:31,886 --> 00:34:32,419 ALI IS. 566 00:34:32,419 --> 00:34:35,990 >> Jimmy: WORLDWIDE, HIM, OPRAH AND JESUS. 567 00:34:35,990 --> 00:34:37,791 >> MAYBE BOB MARLEY. 568 00:34:37,791 --> 00:34:42,463 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE PROBABLY RIGHT. YOU ARE IN THIS MOVIE THE 569 00:34:42,463 --> 00:34:44,698 HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD. 570 00:34:44,698 --> 00:34:45,199 >> YEAH. 571 00:34:45,199 --> 00:34:49,470 >> Jimmy: THIS IS A SEQUEL TO THE HITMAN'S BODYGUARD. 572 00:34:49,470 --> 00:34:50,738 >> I DID NOT SEE IT. 573 00:34:50,738 --> 00:34:53,107 >> Jimmy: YOU DIDN'T SEE THE FIRST ONE? 574 00:34:53,107 --> 00:34:55,843 >> I SWEAR TO GOD. I HAD NO IDEA. 575 00:34:55,843 --> 00:34:58,879 I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON IN MY MOVIE. 576 00:34:58,879 --> 00:35:01,582 >> Jimmy: YOUR MOVIE IS NUMBER ONE IN THE COUNTRY. 577 00:35:01,582 --> 00:35:02,149 >> IT IS? 578 00:35:02,149 --> 00:35:08,455 >> Jimmy: YES, IT IS. YOU HAD A PREMIER AND ALL OF 579 00:35:08,455 --> 00:35:09,256 THAT STUFF. 580 00:35:09,256 --> 00:35:14,795 >> WE HAD A REAL PREMIER WITH PEOPLE. AND IT WAS KIND OF FUN. 581 00:35:14,795 --> 00:35:20,568 >> IT IS GREAT TO GET BACK TO THESE THINGS. 582 00:35:20,568 --> 00:35:23,938 >> YOU KNOW I AM A HUGE JIMMY KIMMEL FAN. 583 00:35:23,938 --> 00:35:25,806 BUT THIS IS REALLY IMPRESSIVE. 584 00:35:25,806 --> 00:35:29,076 >> Jimmy: IT IS FUN, RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT IS ANOTHER FUN 585 00:35:29,076 --> 00:35:33,280 THING, ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS WHEN YOU HAVE GOT AN ACTOR, A 586 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,984 FAMOUS PERSON ON A TALK SHOW IS TO SHOW A CLIP FROM EARLY IN 587 00:35:36,984 --> 00:35:40,988 THEIR CAREER. I HAPPEN TO HAVE A CLIP FROM 588 00:35:40,988 --> 00:35:48,762 SILK STALKINGS, YOUR FIRST TELEVISION APPEARANCE. 589 00:35:48,762 --> 00:35:52,866 >> CERTAINLY MY FIRST TELEVISION EXPERIENCE AS A STRIPPER. 590 00:35:52,866 --> 00:36:01,475 >> Jimmy: OH, LET'S TAKE A LOOK. 591 00:36:01,475 --> 00:36:20,861 >> LOOK AT MY HAIR. 592 00:36:20,861 --> 00:36:26,800 >> I MARRIED THAT WOMAN FOR FOUR DAYS. 593 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:32,873 >> Jimmy: HELLO MR. ALI, MY NAME IS FRANK GRILLO. 594 00:36:32,873 --> 00:36:36,343 >> THE GUY THAT WAS THE LEAD ON THAT SHOW, I REMEMBER TALKING TO 595 00:36:36,343 --> 00:36:39,179 HIM LIKE I HAVE BEEN ON THE SHOW FOR THREE YEARS. 596 00:36:39,179 --> 00:36:42,583 I AM TRYING TO GET OFF IT. GET OFF IT. 597 00:36:42,583 --> 00:36:46,787 I AM JUST TRYING TO BE ON IT. I CAN'T IMAGINE AN ACTOR WANTING 598 00:36:46,787 --> 00:36:48,322 TO GET OFF OF SOMETHING. 599 00:36:48,322 --> 00:36:50,724 >> Jimmy: IT IS GREAT TO SEE YOU. FRANK GRILLO. 600 00:36:50,724 --> 00:36:51,781 THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD IS IN MOVIE THEATERS. 601 00:36:51,781 --> 00:36:52,621 WE WILL BE BACK WITH LUCY DACUS. 602 00:36:59,871 --> 00:37:05,110 >> THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY 603 00:37:05,110 --> 00:37:06,311 MERCEDES‐BENZ. 604 00:37:06,311 --> 00:37:11,750 >> Jimmy: THIS ALBUM COMES OUT ON FRIDAY. 605 00:37:11,750 --> 00:37:17,289 NOW WITH THE SONG "BRANDO." LUCY DACUS. 606 00:37:17,289 --> 00:37:18,056 ♪ 607 00:37:18,056 --> 00:37:19,992 ♪ YOU TOLD ME 608 00:37:19,992 --> 00:37:21,393 TO SKIP SCHOOL TO GO WITH YOU TO THE MOVIES ♪ 609 00:37:21,393 --> 00:37:21,760 ♪ YOU KNEW YOU 610 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:25,731 WERE UNCOOL BUT YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD FOOL ME ♪ 611 00:37:25,731 --> 00:37:29,368 ♪ THEY PLAY OLDIES 612 00:37:29,368 --> 00:37:34,006 IN THE AFTERNOON FOR THE ELDERLY AND ME AND YOU ♪ 613 00:37:34,006 --> 00:37:35,073 ♪ FRED AND GINGER 614 00:37:35,073 --> 00:37:37,209 BLACK AND WHITE I WATCH YOU WATCH IT'S 615 00:37:37,209 --> 00:37:53,792 A WONDERFUL LIFE ♪ 616 00:37:53,792 --> 00:37:54,126 ♪ YOU CALLED 617 00:37:54,126 --> 00:38:00,565 ME CEREBRAL I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT ♪ 618 00:38:00,565 --> 00:38:01,600 ♪ BUT NOW I DO WOULD 619 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:06,805 IT HAVE KILLED YOU TO CALL ME PRETTY INSTEAD ♪ 620 00:38:06,805 --> 00:38:09,408 ♪ I'M IN A SECOND 621 00:38:09,408 --> 00:38:13,578 STORY WINDOW AND YOU'RE YELLING AT ME STELLA ♪ 622 00:38:13,578 --> 00:38:16,715 ♪ AND I'M LAUGHING CAUSE 623 00:38:16,715 --> 00:38:21,386 YOU THINK YOU'RE BRANDO BUT YOU'LL NEVER COME CLOSE ♪ 624 00:38:21,386 --> 00:38:22,054 ♪ ALL I NEED FOR 625 00:38:22,054 --> 00:38:24,523 YOU TO ADMIT IS THAT YOU NEVER KNEW ME 626 00:38:24,523 --> 00:38:27,092 LIKE YOU THOUGHT YOU DID ♪ 627 00:38:27,092 --> 00:38:27,626 ♪ YOU NEVER KNEW ME LIKE 628 00:38:27,626 --> 00:38:34,032 pYOU THOUGHT YOU DID LIKE YOU THOUGHT 629 00:38:34,032 --> 00:38:48,447 YOU DID ♪ 630 00:38:48,447 --> 00:38:51,049 ♪ YOU SAY HERE'S 631 00:38:51,049 --> 00:38:54,920 LOOKING AT YOU KID THINKING I WOULDN'T 632 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:55,721 UNDERSTAND THE REFERENCE ♪ 633 00:38:55,721 --> 00:38:57,289 ♪ YOU ADMIT YOU THINK 634 00:38:57,289 --> 00:39:00,892 WE'RE FATED I'LL BE LUCKY IF I'M YOUR THIRD WIFE ♪ 635 00:39:00,892 --> 00:39:03,495 ♪ THAT'S ONLY SOMETHING 636 00:39:03,495 --> 00:39:05,997 YOU WOULD SAY IN THE CAR WE'VE BEEN BREATHING THE 637 00:39:05,997 --> 00:39:06,865 SAME AIR FOR TOO LONG ♪ 638 00:39:06,865 --> 00:39:08,166 ♪ IF THE SNOW WASN'T 639 00:39:08,166 --> 00:39:12,871 COMING DOWN SO HARD I WOULD OPEN THE DOOR 640 00:39:12,871 --> 00:39:13,371 AND WALK HOME ♪ 641 00:39:13,371 --> 00:39:15,974 ♪ IT'S ONLY 642 00:39:15,974 --> 00:39:20,679 A COUPLE MILES 643 00:39:20,679 --> 00:39:26,051 WHAT COULD GO WRONG ♪ 644 00:39:26,051 --> 00:39:29,521 ♪ IF I HITCH A RIDE WITH 645 00:39:29,521 --> 00:39:30,589 A GUY IN A PICK UP WHO DOESN'T KNOW LEFT FROM 646 00:39:30,589 --> 00:39:31,089 RIGHT FROM WRONG ♪ 647 00:39:31,089 --> 00:39:32,657 ♪ ALL I NEED FOR 648 00:39:32,657 --> 00:39:34,693 YOU TO ADMIT IS THAT YOU NEVER KNEW ME 649 00:39:34,693 --> 00:39:42,000 LIKE YOU THOUGHT YOU DID ♪ 650 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:42,567 ♪ YOU NEVER KNEW ME LIKE 651 00:39:42,567 --> 00:39:46,671 YOU THOUGHT YOU DID LIKE YOU THOUGHT YOU DID ♪ 652 00:39:46,671 --> 00:39:51,376 ♪ ALL I NEED FOR 653 00:39:51,376 --> 00:39:52,944 YOU TO ADMIT IS THAT YOU NEVER KNEW ME 654 00:39:52,944 --> 00:39:59,684 LIKE YOU THOUGHT YOU DID ♪ 655 00:39:59,684 --> 00:40:01,753 ♪ 656 00:40:02,595 --> 00:40:04,428 >> Announcer: THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED 657 00:40:04,428 --> 00:40:07,615 BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 658 00:40:12,463 --> 00:40:13,631 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK SARAH PAULSON, FRANK GRILLO AND 659 00:40:13,631 --> 00:40:18,436 LUCY DACUS. APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. 660 00:40:18,436 --> 00:40:20,938 >> WE RAN OUT OF TIME FROM HIM. TOMORROW NIGHT, 661 00:40:20,938 --> 00:40:24,008 QUENTIN TARANTINO AND ILIZA SHLESINGER WITH MUSIC FROM 662 00:40:24,008 --> 00:40:26,477 LUKAS NELSON AND PROMISE OF THE REAL. I ALSO WANT TO THANK OUR 663 00:40:26,477 --> 00:40:29,580 AUDIENCE FOR BEING HERE. AFTER PARTY'S AT DAVE AND 664 00:40:29,580 --> 00:40:32,650 BUSTERS ACROSS THE STREET AND DON'T FORGET YOUR EGGS AND SOCKS. 665 00:40:32,650 --> 00:40:33,684 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING, GOODNIGHT. 666 00:40:33,684 --> 00:40:36,554 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 667 00:40:37,421 --> 00:40:46,564 ♪