>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!"
TONIGHT -- ZOOEY DESCHANEL.
SAM RICHARDSON. A GUY WHO GOT SWALLOWED BY A
WHALE, AND MUSIC FROM KODAK BLACK.
AND NOW JIMMY KIMMEL! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HELLO. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HI, I'M JIMMY. I AM THE HOST OF THE SHOW.
THANKS FOR WATCHING. OH, MAN.
WE HAVE QUITE A SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
WE HAVE QUITE A FEW THINGS ON TAP.
I HAVE A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE TONIGHT.
WE HAVE A MIRACLE AT SEA. A MAN WHO WAS SWALLOWED WHOLE BY
A SEA CREATURE, AND IS HERE TO TELL US ABOUT THAT EXPERIENCE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AND WE ALSO ARE FOLLOWING THE
TRAVELS OF JOE BIDEN, WHO SPENT THE DAY IN GENEVA FOR A
MUCH-ANTICIPATED SUMMIT WITH ROOTIN' TOOTIN'
VLADIMIR PUTIN. [ LAUGHTER ]
BIDEN WAS THERE TO CONVEY THAT THE UNITED STATES WILL NOT
TOLERATE ANY MALARKEY, SHENANIGANS, OR PANKY OF THE
HANKY TYPE. AT ALL.
[ LAUGHTER ] HE TOLD REPORTERS HE'S SEEKING A
PREDICTABLE AND RATIONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH RUSSIA.
WHICH HAPPENS TO BE THE SAME THING I TOLD MY WIFE WHEN WE
EXCHANGED WEDDING VOWS. [ LAUGHTER ]
THE MEETING WAS SHORTER THAN EXPECTED.
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO FOUR OR FIVE HOURS, BUT THEY WRAPPED IT
UP IN LESS THAN THREE. I HAD A FEELING THOSE TWO
WEREN'T GOING TO MAKE IT TO THE HOMETOWN DATE.
[ LAUGHTER ] THINGS GOT OFF TO A SOMEWHAT
CHAOTIC START WHEN THE PROCEEDINGS WERE BRIEFLY
OBSTRUCTED BY A VERY STUBBORN PHOTOGRAPHER WHO GOT RIGHT IN
FRONT OF THE CAMERA THAT FEEDS EVERY NEWS CHANNEL.
>> COULD YOU MOVE? I CAN'T GET A SHOT OF BOTH OF
THEM. CAN YOU MOVE?
WE CAN'T GET A SHOT. CAN YOU MOVE?
THIS GUY'S GOT TO MOVE. >> SIR.
I TOLD YOU, GO AWAY, PLEASE. >> Jimmy: YES, GO AWAY, PLEASE.
BY THE WAY, ALL THAT OBSTINANCE FOR THIS PICTURE THAT PRETTY
MUCH EVERYONE GOT? BY THE WAY, DO YOU RECOGNIZE THE
BACKGROUND IN THAT SHOT? TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
THAT IS THE SAME BACKGROUND THEY USED AT THE OLAN MILLS PORTRAIT
STUDIO IN 1983. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
PRESIDENT BIDEN -- THIS WAS A LITTLE WEIRD.
HE GOT A GIFT FOR HIS RUSSIAN COUNTERPART.
HE GAVE PUTIN A PAIR OF CUSTOM AVIATOR SUNGLASSES.
"HELLO MR. MURDERER, I BROUGHT A GIFT FOR YOU.
TRY 'EM ON THEY'RE JUST LIKE MINE."
[ LAUGHTER ] TRUMP HAD TO BE SO JEALOUS.
HE LOVED HIS SUGAR VLADDY. [ LAUGHTER ]
ONE COMPLIMENT FROM VLADIMIR PUTIN, TRUMP NEVER STOPPED
TALKING ABOUT IT. >> YOU KNOW, PUTIN SAID, DONALD
TRUMP IS A GENIUS. PUTIN CALLED ME A GENIUS.
VLADIMIR PUTIN SAID, DONALD TRUMP IS A GENIUS.
PUTIN SAID, DONALD TRUMP'S A GENIUS.
THEN PUTIN SAID, DONALD TRUMP IS A GENIUS, HE'S GOING TO BE THE
NEXT GREAT LEADER OF THE UNITED STATES.
HE SAID ONE NICE THING ABOUT ME, HE SAID I'M A GENIUS.
WHEN PUTIN TELLS EVERYBODY G DONALD TRUMP IS A GENIUS, THEN I
HAVE PEOPLE SAYING YOU SHOULD DISAVOW.
I SHOULD DISAVOW THAT? I'M NOT DISAVOWING HE CALLS ME A
GENIUS. GUY CALLS YOU A GENIUS, YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO DISAVOW, DO WE AGREE?
ONLY A STUPID PERSON WOULD DISAVOW.
WHY I WOULD DISAVOW? GUY CALLS YOU A GENIUS, IS
ANYBODY GOING TO DISAVOW IN MY REPUBLICAN OPPONENTS SAID, YOU
HAVE TO REPUTE THAT. I SAID, I'M NOT REPUTING IT WHEN
SOMEBODY CALLS ME A GENIUS, WHY WOULD I REPUTE THAT?
[ LAUGHTER ] WHY THE HELL WOULD I REPUTE
THAT? >> Jimmy: I BELIEVE THE WORD
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS REFUTE, NOT REPUTE, BUT THEN I'M NOT A
GENIUS. DUMMY DONALD WAS SO EXCITED TO
TELL EVERYBODY PUTIN CALLED HIM A GENIUS.
DID HE CALL HIM A GENIUS IN THE FACT CHECKERS SAY -- NO, HE DID
NOT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
PROBABLY CALLED HIM A "PENIS" AND TRUMP HEARD IT WITH A "G."
[ LAUGHTER ] MUCH OF THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN
PUTIN AND BIDEN TODAY WAS FOCUSED ON CYBERATTACKS.
BIDEN HINTED STRONGLY THAT THE UNITED STATES WOULD TAKE ACTION
IF THE RUSSIANS CONTINUE WITH THE ELECTION MEDDLING AND
RANSOMWARE. BIDEN THREATENED TO HIT PUTIN
WITH CAPTCHA CODES THAT HAVE SO MANY FIRE HYDRANTS HE'LL NEVER
GET THROUGH. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND WHEN ASKED WHETHER HE CAN TRUST PUTIN, BIDEN SAID, "LET'S
SEE WHAT HAPPENS. YOU KNOW, AS THAT OLD EXPRESSION
GOES, THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING IS IN THE EATING IT.
WE'RE GONNA KNOW SHORTLY." [ LAUGHTER ]
THERE'S ALSO ANOTHER EXPRESSION THAT GOES "IF VLADIMIR PUTIN
GIVES YOU PUDDING, DON'T EAT IT."
[ LAUGHTER ] BECAUSE IT'S PROBABLY FILLED
WITH PLUTONIUM. [ APPLAUSE ]
SPEAKING OF EXOTIC JOES, THE TIGER KING, JOE EXOTIC IS STILL
IN PRISON. HE IS SERVING A 22 YEAR SENTENCE
FOR SOLICITING A HITMAN. BUT THAT HASN'T STOPPED HIM FROM
SPREADING HIS BUSINESS WINGS. JOE ANNOUNCED VIA TWITTER THAT
HE IS LAUNCHING A LINE OF CANNABIS PRODUCTS.
FROM JAIL. EDIBLES AND SMOKABLES TOO.
BOY. BETWEEN THE TIGERS AND THE
PRISON AND THE WEED, DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK IT'S WEIRD THAT JOE
EXOT AND I CAN MIKE TYSON ARE FOLLOWING THE EXACT SAME
POST-BOXING CAREER PATH? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ARE ]
ALL HE NEEDS NOW IS HALF A FACE TATTOO.
YOU KNOW WHO JUST GOT A BOOK DEAL?
DONALD TRUMP'S SON-IN-LAW, JARED, HAS SIGNED ON TO WRITE
WHAT HIS PUBLISHERS PROMISE WILL BE THE DEFINITIVE RECOUNTING OF
THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION. IT TELLS THE STORY ABOUT
JARED KUSHNER'S METEORIC RISE FROM NORDSTROM'S MANNEQUIN TO
SYCOPHANT SON-IN-LAW TO WHITE HOUSE INCOMPETENT.
[ LAUGHTER ] THE BOOK ISN'T DUE OUT UNTIL
NEXT YEAR, BUT THEY'RE ALREADY ADAPTING IT INTO A MOVIE
DIRECTED BY SURPRISINGLY ONE OF THE BEST AND MOST RESPECTED
DIRECTORS WORKING TODAY. >> THIS SUMMER, FROM THE
WONDERFULLY PREDICTABLE MIND OF DIRECTOR WES ANDERSON -- COMES
THE STORY OF A PRIVILEGED WHITE GUY IN A SLIM FITTING SUIT.
>> MY NAME IS JARED KUSHNER. >> WHO MARRIED INTO AN
ECCENTRIC, WELL-OFF FAMILY. BUT THE DIVISIVE, NARCISSISTIC
PATRIARCH, AND QUIRKY IN-LAWS WITH SAD FATHER ISSUES, WITH
LOTS OF CREEPY, SYMMETRICAL SHOTS AND AN AWKWARD, INCESTUOUS
LOVE TRIANGLE -- ♪
"THE JARED KUSHNER CHRONICLES: FELLOWSHIP OF THE TACTICAL
VEST." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WELL, I'LL GO SEE THAT, YOU KNOW?
WHY IS JOE EXOTIC SELLING WEED, AND THIS GUY ISN'T?
HIS NAME IS KUSH-NER FOR GOD'S SAKE.
[ LAUGHTER ] BASEBALL IS BACK.
YOU KNOW, ABOUT HALF THE STADIUMS ARE ALLOWING CAPACITY
CROWDS NOW. WITH MORE TO COME THIS WEEKEND.
AND I'D LIKE TO CONGRATULATE EIGHT TIME ALL-STAR AND
THREE-TIME CY YOUNG AWARD WINNER PEDRO MARTINEZ, WHO TONIGHT
UNWITTINGLY THREW OUT THE UNINTENTIONAL JOKE OF THE DAY
RIGHT DOWN THE CENTER OF THE PLATE.
>> GUESS WHAT, IT'S MY GAME AND I DICTATE HOW I WANT MY BALLS TO
BE RUBBED UP. [ LAUGHTER ]
IF YOU DO A GOOD JOB OF RUBBING THE BALLS THE WAY I WANTED THEM
AND I DIDN'T FEEL COMFORTABLE, I WAS GOING TO DO WHATEVER.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: I FEEL EXACTLY THE
SAME WAY, THANK YOU. I PROMISED IT AND IT'S TIME FOR
THE MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT. I ANNOUNCED I WOULD BE
ANNOUNCING, AND NOW IT IS TIME TO ANNOUNCE THAT, YOU KNOW,
THERE ARE FEW AMERICAN TRADITIONS MORE EXCITING THAN A
COLLEGE FOOTBALL BOWL GAME. THE TRADITION, THE PAGEANTRY,
AND MOST SIGNIFICANTLY THE SPONSOR NAMES.
THERE ARE SO MANY MEMORABLE, COLORFUL NAMES.
THE R&L CARRIERS NEW ORLEANS BOWL.
THE ROOFCLAIM.COM BOCA RATON BOWL.
[ LAUGHTER ] THE TROPICAL SMOOTHIE CAÉ
FRISCO BOWL. THE LENDING TREE BOWL.
THE CHEEZ-IT BOWL. THE LIST GOES ON AND ON.
AND EVER SINCE I WAS 52, WHICH WAS LAST YEAR --
[ LAUGHTER ] -- I HAVE DREAMED OF HAVING A
COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAME NAMED AFTER ME.
AND TONIGHT, I AM THRILLED TO ANNOUNCE THAT THAT DREAM HAS
FINALLY COME TRUE. LET'S GO LIVE TO THE BRAND NEW
AND BEAUTIFUL SOFI STADIUM HERE IN LOS ANGELES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WHICH IS NOW THE SITE OF THE
INAUGURAL JIMMY KIMMEL L.A. BOWL!
THAT'S RIGHT! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S THE NAME OF THE BOWL GAME.
THIS IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING. NEVER BEFORE HAS A BOWL GAME
BEEN NAMED AFTER A HUMAN BEING. AND PAPA JOHN DOESN'T COUNT.
HE'S BARELY HUMAN. [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS OUR DRUMLINE. THIS IS THE OFFICIAL DRUMLINE OF
THE JIMMY KIMMEL L.A. BOWL. YOU CAN SEE THEY'RE VERY
TALENTED. YOU CAN ALSO SEE THAT THE BASS
DRUMMER IS -- [ LAUGHTER ]
LOOKS A LITTLE BIT LIKE OUR MISSING SECURITY GUARD,
GUILLERMO. GUILLERMO, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
SICK! >> Guillermo: I CANNOT HEAR YOU!
THERE'S TOO MANY DRUMS! >> Jimmy: YEAH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
I GUESS YOU CAN'T HEAR ME, THERE'S TOO MANY DRUMS.
HE DOES SEEM TO BE GETTING A LOT OF PLEASURE OUT OF BEATING ME
ACROSS THE FACE. [ APPLAUSE ]
WELL DONE, GENTLEMEN AND LADIES. THIS IS NOT A JOKE, THIS IS A
REAL BOWL GAME. NAMED AFTER ME.
SO MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18th FOR THE
JIMMY KIMMEL L.A. BOWL HERE ON ABC.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] IT'LL BE AN EARLY CHRISTMAS GIFT
FOR ALL OF US. RIGHT, GUILLERMO?
>> Guillermo: YES, JIMMY! >> Jimmy: HEY, GUILLERMO.
HOW ABOUT YOU KICK ME A FIELD GOAL FOR GOOD LUCK?
>> Guillermo: OKAY, JIMMY, WHATEVER YOU SAY.
>> Jimmy: OH, LOOK AT THAT. [ LAUGHTER ]
HOW YOU FEELING, GUILLERMO? YOU ALL RIGHT?
>> Guillermo: I'M FEELING GREAT, FANTASTIC.
>> Jimmy: HOW MANY TEQUILAS HAVE YOU HAD?
>> Guillermo: NO TEQUILA, JUST COUGH MEDICINE.
>> Jimmy: BEAUTIFUL, ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU ARE ATTEMPTING A 20-YARD FIELD GOAL.
THIS WILL SET THE TONE FOR EVERYTHING.
WE BELIEVE IN YOU, GUILLERMO. ARE YOU READY TO DO THIS?
>> Guillermo: I'M READY. >> Jimmy: LET'S GET THE JIMMY
KIMMEL L.A. BOWL KICKED OFF. HERE WE GO!
GIVE IT A WHACK, GUILLERMO. >> Guillermo: READY?
>> Jimmy: YES. YOU MADE IT!
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Guillermo: YEAH! I MADE IT, YEAH!
>> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO. WENT RIGHT OVER THE UPRIGHTS.
THANK YOU, GUILLERMO. >> Guillermo: YES, JIMMY!
>> Jimmy: OH, BOY, THIS IS EXCITING.
WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
ZOE DESCHANEL IS HERE. SAM RICHARD SON IS HERE.
KODAK BLACK IS HERE. AND WHEN WE COME BACK WE'LL MEET
A LOBSTER DIVER WHO LITERALLY ENTERED THE BELLY OF THE BEAST.
>> MICHAEL WAS DIVING OFF HIS LOBSTER BOAT NEAR PROVINCETOWN.
HE SAYS HE WAS IN THAT WHALE'S MOUTH FOR A GOOD 20 TO 30
SECONDS BEFORE THE WHALE SURFACED AND SPIT HIM OUT.
>> ALL OF A SUDDEN I SAW LIGHT, AND I WAS THROWN FROM HIS MOUTH.
HE WAS SHAKING HIS HEAD, TRYING TO EJECT ME OUT OF HIS MOUTH.
>> ALL OF A SUDDEN I SEE MIKE FEET-FIRST COMING OUT OF THE
WATER LIKE THIS. >> NEVER HEARD OF ANYTHING LIKE
THIS BEFORE. >> Jimmy: A MAN WHO WAS
SWALLOWED BY A WHALE WILL BE HERE IN OUR STUDIO TO TELL HIS
TALE NEXT. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Guillermo: YEAH, YEAH! ♪
>> Dicky: PORTIONS OF "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" ARE BROUGHT
TO YOU BY L.A. TOURISM. L.A. IS BACK, BABY.
START YOUR COMEBACK AT DISCOVERLOSANGELES.COM.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪
>> Jimmy: HI, WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL, SAM RICHARDSON, AND MUSIC FROM KODAK BLACK ARE
ALL COMING UP. BUT FIRST, A MAN WHO WENT INSIDE
A HUMPBACK WHALE THE HARD WAY THIS WEEKEND.
HE TRAVELED 3,000 MILES AND ENDURED NUMEROUS NOSE SWABS TO
BE HERE WITH US IN STUDIO. ALL THE WAY FROM PROVINCETOWN,
MASSACHUSETTS, PLEASE WELCOME CAPTAIN MICHAEL PACKARD AND
FIRST MATE, JOSIAH MAYO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
GENTLEMEN, THANK YOU FOR COMING HERE.
WE REALLY APPRECIATE IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WHAT A STRANGE, WHAT A STRANGE -- I GUESS MY FIRST
QUESTION SHOULD BE, HAD YOU BEEN SWALLOWED BY A WHALE BEFORE?
OR WAS THIS YOUR FIRST? [ LAUGHTER ]
> THANK GOD NO. >> Jimmy: NO, YOU HAD NOT, THIS
IS YOUR FIRST TIME. WE BUILT THIS FOR YOU.
I HEARD YOU FREAKED OUT A LITTLE WHEN YOU SAW IT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> I DID.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. >> AND I WAS LIKE -- I THOUGHT
ABOUT IT AND I WAS LIKE, NO WAY AM I GETTING IN THERE.
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M GOING BACK TO CAPE COD!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: WELL, YOU --
>> THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT HARDER AND I SAID, YOU KNOW
WHAT? IT'S THE PERFECT CELEBRATION OF
LIFE. I SURVIVED.
>> Jimmy: YOU SURE DID. >> I SURVIVED.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: YOU SURVIVED AND THIS
IS NOT THE FIRST -- >> MY TWO BOYS ARE HOME WATCHING
THIS. >> Jimmy: HOW OLD ARE THEY?
>> THEY'RE 12 AND 16. >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES?
>> JACOB AND JOSIAH. >> Jimmy: DID YOU NAME JOSIAH
AFTER JOSIAH? >> YES, I DID.
>> Jimmy: HOW ABOUT THAT. ALL RIGHT.
SO JUST TO SET THE STAGE, FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS NOT YOUR FIRST
NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE. YOU WERE IN A PLANE CRASH WITH
FATALITIES. YOU'VE BEEN FACE-TO-FACE WITH
GREAT WHITE SHARKS. YOU DISCOVERED A BODY IN THE
OCEAN. YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT OF
STUFF. >> I HAVE.
>> Jimmy: YOU MIGHT BE BAD LUCK, ACTUALLY, JOSIAH.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU MIGHT WANT TO BE CAREFUL.
LAST WEEK YOU WERE SWALLOWED BY A WHALE.
>> I WASN'T SWALLOWED, JIMMY. I WAS IN HIS MOUTH.
>> Jimmy: WELL -- >> LET'S GET THAT STRAIGHT.
>> Jimmy: I GOT A SHOW TO DO, AND I'M GOING WITH SWALLOWED.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ]
YOU WERE IN HIS MOUTH, OKAY. YOU WEREN'T SWALLOWED,
INTERESTING. I GUESS THERE IS A DIFFERENCE,
YEAH. IF YOU WERE SWALLOWED YOU WOULD
HAVE COME OUT THE OTHER END, HUH?
[ LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT, SO YOU GUYS ARE OUT
ON THE BOAT. YOU'RE FISHING FOR LOBSTER,
YOU'RE DIVING FOR LOBSTER. YOU DO IT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY?
>> CORRECT. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
YOU DIVE DOWN THERE. YOU GRAB THEM WITH YOUR HANDS.
>> UH-HUH. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
JOSIAH, TELL US WHAT YOU WITNESSED.
>> WE'VE DONE A COUPLE OF DIVES, AND WE CAUGHT A COUPLE HUNDRED
POUNDS OF LOBSTER, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
HE WENT DOWN FOR A THIRD DIVE. EVERYTHING WAS NORMAL.
HE KIND OF DRIFTED AWAY. HIS BUBBLES WENT AWAY FROM THE
BOAT. AND THEN I JUST SAW A HUGE BOIL,
SPLASHING, SLASHING ALL OVER THE WATER.
AND I THOUGHT, OH, MAN, THIS IS IT.
THIS IS THAT SHARK ATTACK THAT WE'RE ALWAYS, YOU KNOW, WORRIED
ABOUT. THEN I SAW WHALE PARTS.
I SAW WHALE FLUKE. THE WHALE'S HEAD.
THEN I SUDDENLY KNEW IT WASN'T A SHARK ATTACK, BUT STILL
SOMETHING CRAZY WAS HAPPENING. THEN MICHAEL SHOT OUT OF THE
WATER. I COULD SEE HIS LITTLE LEGS KIND
OF FLYING OUT OF THE WATER. [ LAUGHTER ]
JUST OUT OF THE BOIL, ERUPTION OF WHITE WATER.
>> Jimmy: THEN YOU COME UP. AND YOU -- I MEAN, I GUESS --
WELL, FIRST OF ALL, WHAT WERE YOU EXPERIENCING WHILE YOU WERE
UNDER THE WATER? >> WELL, WHEN IT FIRST HAPPENED,
I, LIKE JOSIAH SAID, I WAS DESCENDING, I ALMOST GOT TO THE
BOTTOM. I WAS AT ABOUT 35 FEET.
AND I JUST GOT HIT BY A FREIGHT TRUCK.
JUST -- BANG! THEN EVERYTHING JUST WENT
INSTANTLY DARK. AND I'M JUST MOVING, TRAVELING
FAST THROUGH THE WATER, AND I'M LIKE, WHAT THE HECK, DID I JUST
GET EATEN BY A SHARK? AND I WAS LIKE, NO, SHARK MOUTHS
AREN'T THAT BIG. AND I DON'T FEEL ANY TEETH.
OH, GREAT! I DIDN'T GET EATEN BY A SHARK!
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ]
BUT -- BUT I'M IN A WHALE'S MOUTH!
WHAT THE HELL DO I DO? >> Jimmy: YOU KNEW, YOU WERE
AWARE WHILE YOU WERE IN THERE, YOU WERE INSIDE THE WHALE?
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> Jimmy: WHEN YOU SAID YOU
COULD FEEL YOURSELF MOVING THROUGH THE WATER QUICKLY, IT
WAS ALMOST LIKE BEING IN A SUBMARINE OR SOMETHING WHERE YOU
WERE FEELING MOTION? >> EXACTLY, YEAH, A SUBMARINE OR
A CAR OR A MOTORCYCLE. BUT WITH WATER JUST RUSHING.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU BEGIN TO STRUGGLE AND LET THE WHALE KNOW
THAT YOU WERE IN THERE? >> I WAS STRUGGLING AND BANGING
AND KICKING. AND JUST THINKING, THERE'S NO
WAY I'M GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS UNLESS HE DECIDES TO LET ME GO.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. >> I'M DEAD.
>> Jimmy: WOW. YOU HAD ALL OF THOSE THOUGHTS.
HOW LONG WERE YOU IN THERE? >> I WOULD SAY APPROXIMATELY 30
TO 40 SECONDS. >> Jimmy: I'M SURE YOU'VE HEARD
FROM A LOT OF PEOPLE, HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS EVER HAPPENING TO
ANYONE BEFORE? BESIDES THE BIBLE?
>> JUST SINCE THIS HAPPENED, I JUST SAW A CAMERAMAN IN SOUTH
AFRICA. >> Jimmy: WOW.
OH, I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO MEET HIM, WOULDN'T THAT BE FUN.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU GUYS SHOULD HAVE A CLUB.
THEN YOU CALL 911? >> YEAH, WE GOT HIM BACK IN THE
BOAT. A FRIEND OF OURS HELPED ME LIFT
HIM BACK ON THE BOAT. WE FIRST COMMUNICATED WITH HIM.
I PULLED THE BOAT UP TO HIM, YOU KNOW.
WHAT'S GOING ON? YOU'RE OKAY, YOU'RE OKAY?
HE SAID HIS LEG WAS BROKEN, THOUGHT HIS LEG WAS BROKEN.
WE PULLED HIM ON THE BOAT. >> THE FIRST THING I SAID WAS, I
WAS IN THE [ BLEEP ] WHALE'S MOUTH!
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: AND SO THEN -- JOSIAH, YOU CALLED MICHAEL'S WIFE?
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: EXPLAINED THIS TO HER?
>> I TRIED NOT TO. I JUST TRIED TO SAY, MICHAEL'S
OKAY. ALWAYS LEAD WITH, MICHAEL'S
OKAY, BUT. >> Jimmy: OH THIS HAS HAPPENED
BEFORE? >> ANY TIME THERE'S ANYTHING ON
THE BOAT. >> Jimmy: YEAH?
>> YEAH, I CALLED HER AND LET HER KNOW.
SHE HAD TO CALL ME BACK SHORTLY AFTER TO VERIFY WHAT SHE'D JUST
HEARD, YOU KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND I WAS TRYING TO DOWNPLAY IT. NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE IT WITH THE
AMBULANCE OR WITH HER. I WAS -- JUST SAID, WE HAD AN
ENCOUNTER WITH A WHALE. I DIDN'T WANT TO GO INTO IT.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU SENSE THAT THE LOBSTERS WERE WATCHING AND FELT
LIKE THEY WERE GETTING SOME KIND OF REVENGE?
[ LAUGHTER ] MAYBE THEY WERE IN CAHOOTS WITH
THE WHALE. MICHAEL, YOU SAID THAT SOMEBODY
ASKED YOU ON REDDIT IF YOU -- WHO WOULD YOU WANT TO PLAY YOU
IN A MOVIE ABOUT YOUR LIFE. YOU SAID, MATT DAMON.
I JUST WONDER WHY YOU WOULD AIM SO LOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] I MEAN, IF HE DOES PLAY YOU, CAN
THE WHALE EAT HIM? CAN THAT BE HIS FINAL
DESTINATION? [ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ] THIS IS REALLY ONE OF THE
CRAZIEST STORIES I'VE EVER HEARD.
YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO BE TELLING THIS STORY UNTIL THE DAY
YOU DIE. I MEAN, IT IS -- AT FIRST I
THOUGHT, THERE'S NO WAY THAT REALLY HAPPENED.
THEN I SAW YOU GUYS ON THE NEWS. I WAS LIKE, OH, YEAH, THESE GUYS
DON'T SEEM TO BE LYING. THEY SEEM LIKE HONEST GUYS.
>> YEAH, THAT'S ONE OF THE COOL THINGS ABOUT THE STORY IS THAT,
YOU KNOW, IT HAPPENED TO SOMEONE LIKE MICHAEL WITH HIS
REPUTATION. IF IT WAS SOME YAHOO, ALL WE'D
BE DOING IS ARGUING WHETHER IT HAPPENED OR NOT.
IT'S MICHAEL, HIS REPUTATION AS A HIGH LINE FISHERMAN, GUYS WHO
DON'T EXAGGERATE EVER. >> Jimmy: A GREAT LESSON FOR
HUMPBACK WHALES, IF YOU ARE TO SWALLOW SOMEONE, MIND A CREDIBLE
INDIVIDUAL, SOMEONE RESPECTED IN THE LOCAL COMMUNITY.
[ APPLAUSE ] WE HAVE A FEW GIFTS FOR YOU,
MICHAEL. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE "FREE
WILLY" ON DVD, BUT THAT'S SOMETHING FOR YOU.
WE GOT YOU, THIS IS GOING TO COME IN HANDY, THIS IS
"MO-BE-GONE" WHALE REPELLENT. THIS SHIRT, ONE OF A KIND,
NOBODY HAS THIS, "KISS ME, I GOT SWALLOWED BY A MAIL."
I DON'T THINK WE COULD REALLY EVER DO THIS WITHOUT A NOD TO
TOM CARVELLE, AND WE MADE YOU A SPECIAL FUDGY THE WHALE CAKE
WITH A GUY INSIDE HIM. >> I JUST WANT TO SAY SOMETHING.
>> Jimmy: YES, GO AHEAD. >> I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO THE
WHALE FOR GETTING IN HIS WAY. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND I WON'T EVER DO IT AGAIN. >> Jimmy: IF THE WHALE IS
WATCHING TONIGHT. YES.
WELL, THANK YOU GUYS FOR COMING OUT HERE.
WHAT A JOURNEY THIS HAS BEEN. >> ONE OTHER THING.
>> Jimmy: YEAH? >> YOU KNOW, I TRY TO MAKE A
LIVING. IF ANYBODY EVER WANTS TO BUY ANY
OF MY LOBSTERS, I SELL THEM THROUGH A WHOLESALE GUY, THEY'RE
WELLED WELLFLEET SHELLFISH COMPANY.
>> Jimmy: WHY DON'T WE GET -- >> MASSACHUSETTS, THEY CAN
CONTACT THEM. >> Jimmy: WHY DON'T WE SEND THIS
BIG WHALE WITH YOU, THEN YOU COULD PILE THE LOBSTERS UP IN
HERE AND SELL THEM. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
JOSIAH AND MICHAEL, THE WHALE GUYS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ZOE DESCHANEL!
>> Jimmy: HI, THERE TONIGHT ON THE SHOW, FROM THE
NEW MOVIE "THE TOMORROW WAR," SAM RICHARDSON IS HERE.
THEN LATER, HE IS CELEBRATING ANOTHER YEAR OF LIFE WITH THIS
NEW EP, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY KODAK." MUSIC FROM KODAK BLACK.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] TOMORROW NIGHT, DAX SHEPARD,
MONICA PADMAN, AND TONY HALE WILL JOIN US, AND WE'LL HAVE
MUSIC FROM SAWEETIE. OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN EMMY AND
GRAMMY-NOMINATED SINGING ACTRESS AND ACTING SINGSTRESS WHO IS SO
COMMITTED TO LOVE. SHE IS HOSTING A GAME SHOW WITH
MICHAEL BOLTON. "THE CELEBRITY DATING GAME" AIRS
MONDAYS AT 10:00 HERE ON ABC. PLEASE SAY HELLO TO ZOOEY
DESCHANEL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HELLO, ZOOEY. >> HI.
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU? >> I'M GREAT, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: I'M DOING GOOD. ZOOEY, HOWEVER BEEN SWALLOWED OR
MAYBE JUST MOUTHED BY A WHALE? >> NO, I HAVE NOT.
THAT WAS A REALLY INTERESTING STORY, THOUGH.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE STILL YOUNG, GIVE IT TIME.
[ LAUGHTER ] OFF GOT A LOT OF GUITARS, YOU'VE
GOT A BANJO ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD THERE.
>> I DO, I DO. I GET CRAZY WITH IT.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE A SERIOUS CASE OF BANJO HEAD GOING ON
RIGHT NOW. >> THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL ME
SOMETIMES. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE AT HOME?
>> I'M AT HOME, YEAH. >> Jimmy: ARE YOU STAYING
INDOORS TO BE SAFE? >> I'VE BEEN DIPPING MY TOE IN
THE POOL OF POSSIBILITY. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?
>> I WENT -- I'VE GONE TO A COUPLE OF RESTAURANTS.
>> Jimmy: UH-HUH? >> WHICH WAS REALLY FUN.
>> Jimmy: UH-HUH? >> CRAZY.
LIKE -- I WENT TO THE MOVIES. >> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> IT'S -- IT'S JUST SORT OF AMAZING HOW -- I MEAN, HOW GREAT
IT IS JUST TO DO NORMAL THINGS AND HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE THEM.
>> Jimmy: YES. AND YET YOU DIDN'T COME HERE
TONIGHT, YOU STAYED AT HOME. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELL, YOU GUYS WERE LIKE, YOU CAN ONLY BRING ONE PERSON.
AND I WAS LIKE, I CAN'T CHOOSE WHO TO BRING.
>> Jimmy: SO EVERYONE ELSE -- >> EVERYBODY'S GOT TO BE HERE.
>> Jimmy: ZOOEY, YOU ARE HOSTING, THIS IS NOT NEWS TO
YOU, I'M FULLY AWARE THAT YOU ARE FULLY AWARE OF THIS.
BUT YOU ARE HOSTING "THE CELEBRITY DATING GAME.
>> YES, THAT'S CORRECT. >> Jimmy: WITH MICHAEL BOLTON.
AND I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS FROM THE BILLBOARD.
I SAW THE BILLBOARD AND I THOUGHT --
>> YOU KNOW, I DID EMAIL YOU TO TELL YOU.
>> Jimmy: NO, I DIDN'T EXPECT A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM YOU ON IT.
>> OKAY. >> Jimmy: I DID THINK, WELL,
THAT'S KIND OF A FUNNY IDEA THAT THESE TWO WOULD HOST -- WOULD
ACTUALLY EVEN BE IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER.
>> YEAH, AND YOU WERE LIKE, BUT IT'S ALSO WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED,
RIGHT? >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT KIND OF
WORKS, I GUESS, HUH? >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: HOW DID THIS COME TO PASS?
>> YEAH, I MEAN, IT WAS FEBRUARY.
I GOT A CALL FROM MY AGENTS. THEY WERE LIKE, DO YOU WANT TO
COHOST "THE CELEBRITY DATING GAME" WITH MICHAEL BOLTON?
AND I WAS LIKE, 100% YES. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DO YOU FEEL THAT CELEBRITIES NEED HELP GETTING
DATES? >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: BASED ON WHAT I'VE SEEN, THEY DO NOT.
>> THEY NEED HELP FROM ME. >> Jimmy: DO YOU WORRY AT ALL,
IS THERE ANY PRESSURE? YOU HAVE CELEBRITIES ON, THEY'VE
GOT THREE CONTESTANTS TO CHOOSE FROM.
ARE YOU IN ANY WAY WORRIED THAT SOME LASTING RELATIONSHIPS WILL
COME OUT OF YOUR SHOW AND NONE WILL COME OUT OF "THE BACHELOR"
THAT PRECEDES YOU? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, YOU KNOW WHAT, I -- THAT WOULD BE MY HOPE.
IS THAT I WIN AND THEY LOSE, RIGHT?
ISN'T THAT WHAT EVERYBODY HOPES? >> Jimmy: ONE OF THE FUN THINGS
ABOUT THE ORIGINAL "DATING GAME" WAS WHEN THE CONTESTANT, THE
PERSON WHO WAS BEING SOLICITED, WOULD COME AND FINALLY SEE THE
THREE PEOPLE THAT HE OR SHE HAD BEEN TALKING TO THE WHOLE SHOW.
AND REALIZE THAT THEY'D MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT THEY'D PICKED THE WRONG
ONE. HAS THAT HAPPENED TO YOU THERE
WITH THE CELEBRITIES? >> WELL -- SO -- I'M THE HOST,
AND I'M NOT ALLOWED TO TIP THE SCALES IN ANY WAY.
LIKE IT'S APPARENTLY A REALLY BIG DEAL, IN THE GAME SHOW WORLD
THAT YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TIP THE SCALES, BECAUSE YOU WILL BE
IN TROUBLE, LIKE WITH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.
LIKE THE FBI WILL COME AND -- >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, THEY
MADE THAT MOVIE "QUIZ SHOW" ABOUT THAT VERY SUBJECT.
>> OKAY, SO I NEVER SAW THAT MOVIE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. >> BUT THEY EXPLAINED IT TO ME
BEFOREHAND AND I WAS -- YOU KNOW, I TAKE RULES SERIOUSLY.
SO I COULDN'T GO LIKE, "PICK NUMBER 2."
I COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. >> THERE WAS ONE PERSON I
ACTUALLY HAD THIS FEELING LIKE HE WAS NOT THE RIGHT PERSON, HE
DIDN'T SEEM AS SWEET AS LIKE ONE OF THE OTHER CONTESTANTS.
SHE CHOSE THE PERSON THAT WASN'T AS NICE.
AND IT CAME AROUND THE CORNER AND HE LIKE WALKED RIGHT PAST
OUR BEAUTIFUL CELEBRITY. AND WENT STRAIGHT FOR MICHAEL
BOLTON. [ LAUGHTER ]
RIGHT TO MICHAEL BOLTON. >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE KIND OF
MAGNETIC ENERGY THAT MICHAEL BOLTON HAS THAT RAW CHARISMA,
THAT YOU WALK PAST A LINE OF WOMEN THAT ARE DYING TO MEET
YOU, RIGHT TO HIM. >> I'M NOT KIDDING YOU, A LOT OF
PEOPLE, A LOT OF THE CELEBRITIES, TRY TO CHOOSE
MICHAEL BOLTON. MALE AND FEMALE.
AND I WAS LIKE, YOU CAN'T CHOOSE MICHAEL, HE'S A HOST, THAT'S
AGAINST THE RULES. RULES.
>> AGAINST THE RULES. >> Jimmy: YOU YOURSELF WOULD NOT
BE A CONTESTANT ON THIS GAME, FOR A COUPLE OF REASONS.
>> NO. >> Jimmy: NUMBER ONE, YOU'RE THE
HOST. ALSO BECAUSE YOU ARE ALREADY IN
A SERIOUS CELEBRITY DATING GAME RELATIONSHIP, IS THAT RIGHT?
>> YES, THAT'S CORRECT, YES. >> Jimmy: HE IS ONE OF THE
FAMOUS PROPERTY BROTHERS FROM HGTV, YOUR BEAU?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> YES, YES.
HE IS. HE'S ONE OF THE PROPERTY
BROTHERS. >> Jimmy: IT MUST BE SO ODD TO
DATE AN IDENTICAL TWIN. BECAUSE THERE'S ANOTHER -- WHICH
ONE -- WHICH PROPERTY BROTHER ARE YOU WITH?
>> I MEAN, DOES IT MATTER? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WELL, I MEAN -- YEAH, I THINK IT -- I MEAN,
TECHNICALLY THEY'RE DIFFERENT PEOPLE, RIGHT?
I WAS JUST WONDERING WHICH ONE OF THE TWO IS JONATHAN OR DREW
YOUR PERSON? >> IS THERE AN IAN?
OR NO? JONATHAN OR DREW?
>> Jimmy: I DON'T THINK THERE'S AN IAN, NO.
>> I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, WHO KNOWS, RIGHT? >> Jimmy: NO, NOT WHO KNOWS,
RIGHT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T
KNOW? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW. LOOK.
I DON'T KNOW. OKAY?
I DON'T KNOW. >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE NOT ASKED
THEM? YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH -- YOU
DON'T CALL THEM BY NAME? >> OKAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT? LOOK.
WE WERE INTRODUCED REALLY QUICKLY.
YOU KNOW? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: UH-HUH? >> WE WERE BOTH THERE AT THE
SAME TIME. ARE IT WAS FAST, I WASN'T REALLY
PAYING ATTENTION, YOU KNOW? BUT NOW IT'S KIND OF LIKE TOO
LATE TO ASK. >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> RIGHT?
I DO KNOW THAT I'M DATING THE CANADIAN ONE, WHICH I THOUGHT
WAS MY CLUE, BUT TURNS OUT THEY'RE BOTH CANADIAN.
[ LAUGHTER ] I THOUGHT THAT WAS STATISTICALLY
IMPOSSIBLE BUT IT'S NOT. >> Jimmy: NO, YEAH, IT'S ALMOST
THE OPPOSITE OF THAT. LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIGURE THAT
OUT. I'VE DRAWN UP A CHART HERE.
>> WOW. PUT A LOT OF WORK INTO THAT.
>> Jimmy: YES. YOU HAVEN'T, CLEARLY.
[ LAUGHTER ] NOW, WHICH --
>> I DESERVE THAT. >> Jimmy: WHICH BROTHER IS THIS?
>> UM -- ISN'T THAT ONE OF THE JONAS BROTHERS?
>> Jimmy: CORRECT, THAT IS ONE OF THE JONAS BROTHERS.
I'M GOING TO TAKE HIM OFF THE BOARD.
>> THAT WAS A TRICK ONE. >> Jimmy: WE'RE ZEROING IN.
THAT LEAVES US WITH THESE TWO, WHO ARE SIDE BY SIDE.
NOW, I GUESS THE QUESTION, WE SEE YOU WITH THIS ONE.
IS THIS ONE -- THIS ONE -- DO YOU THINK YOUR BOYFRIEND IS THE
ONE WITH MORE OR LESS FACIAL HAIR?
>> OKAY, OKAY -- I DO KNOW HE HAS LIKE ONE OF THOSE BEARD
TRIMMER THINGIES. DOES THAT HELP?
>> Jimmy: NO. [ LAUGHTER ]
DOES HE WEAR A LOT OF FLANNEL? BECAUSE FLANNEL'S MORE JONATHAN.
>> UGH. IT'S SO HARD TO REMEMBER.
HE DOES -- OKAY. I KNOW HE OWNS JEANS.
AND HE HAS BROWN HAIR. AND HE LIKES FOOD.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OKAY, HOLD ON, LET ME
ASK SIRI. HEY, SIRI.
WHICH OF THE PROPERTY BROTHERS IS DATING ZOOEY DESCHANEL?
[ LAUGHTER ] OH, OH!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] OH, HE'S WITH YOU.
>> YEAH, YEAH. WE CAME IN TOGETHER.
>> Jimmy: OH, WELL. THEN ASK HIM FOR GOD'S SAKE.
>> OH, OKAY. I KNOW YOU'RE ONE OF THE
PROPERTY BROTHERS. WHICH ONE ARE YOU?
>> JONATHAN. >> HE'S JONATHAN.
ARE YOU SURE? >> I'M PRETTY SURE.
>> OKAY, OKAY. [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HOW CAN YOU BE SURE? >> I WRITE IT ON MY HANDS.
I WRITE IT ON MY HAND EVERY DAY. >> Jimmy: OH, OKAY, JONATHAN.
>> OH, IT'S BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME?
>> EVERY DAY. >> OH.
>> YEAH. >> THAT MAKES IT EASY.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU GUYS HAVE TO WORK ON
YOUR COMMUNICATION. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> BUT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. >> I THINK WE'RE DOING FINE.
THANK YOU, JONATHAN. ALL DO NOW- THANK YOU, ZOOEY.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL, "THE CELEBRITY DATING GAME" MONDAYS AT 10:00 ON
ABC. THANKS, GUYS.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH SAM RICHARDSON.
♪ >> Jimmy: HI, WELCOME BACK.
MUSIC FROM KODAK BLACK IS ON THE WAY.
OUR NEXT GUEST SURVIVED FIVE SEASONS OF SELINA MEYER ON THE
GREAT SHOW "VEEP." NOW, HE FACES A DEADLY ALIEN
SPECIES IN THE NEW SCI-FI THRILLER "THE TOMORROW WAR."
IT PREMIERES JULY 2nd ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO.
PLEASE WELCOME SAM RICHARDSON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪ >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, TECHNICALLY
WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SHAKE HANDS BUT I COULDN'T HELP IT.
I'M A BIG FAN OF YOURS. I ENJOYED YOUR WORK ON "VEEP"
AND ON "DETROITERS." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THE STUFF YOU DO WITH YOUR BUDDY TIM ROBINSON.
YOU GUYS ARE FANTASTIC TOGETHER. THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME. SORRY FOR SHAKING YOUR HAND.
>> Jimmy: NOT AT ALL. I DO WANT TO OFFER YOU A LITTLE
PURELL, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL A LITTLE MORE COMFORTABLE,
ALTHOUGH I AM VERY VACCINATED. >> I BELIEVE YOU.
>> Jimmy: I GOT IT THREE TIMES. I ASSUME THIS IS YOUR FIRST
ACTION MOVIE, IS THAT RIGHT? >> IT IS.
I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING -- I'VE DONE A BIT -- A BUNCH OF COMEDY
SUFF. >> Jimmy: A LOT OF COMEDY STUFF.
>> RIGHT. NEVER AN ACTION MOVIE LIKE THIS.
SO IT WAS -- >> Jimmy: SO WHEN YOU'RE HIRED
TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS THAT'S REALLY DIFFERENT, OR MAYBE IT'S
NOT THAT DIFFERENT, I DON'T KNOW, DO YOU HAVE A DIFFERENT
APPROACH TO HOW YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT?
>> WELL -- I MEAN, YEAH. YOU KNOW, JUST TRYING TO FIGURE
OUT LIKE WHAT THE -- LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IN THIS
ACTION MOVIE. LIKE WHAT ARE THE RULES OF
ACTION MOVIES. >> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> HOW DO YOU PREPARE FOR ONE? AND SO I WAS GOING TO -- SO I
DID A CHARITY EVENT WHERE I -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GREAT. >> CHARITY EVENT, YOU GUYS.
>> Jimmy: WONDERFUL. >> ISN'T THAT NICE.
OKAY? THIS EVENT CALLED STEPS OF FAITH
THAT MY FRIEND -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
STEPS OF FAITH, GUYS. I MEAN, STEPS.
MY FRIEND BILLY BRIMBLECOM PUTS ON IN KANSAS, WHERE IT HELPS
AMPUTEES GET PROSTHETICS. >> Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD, YEAH.
>> AND WE -- AND IT'S CALLED THUNDER GONGS.
WE SING A LOT OF THE SONGS, CELEBRITY GUESTS COME AND SING.
I DID SONGS WITH -- I DID SOME SONGS WITH A BIG -- CELEBRITY.
>> Jimmy: WHO. >> UH, HIS NAME IS BEN.
UH -- >> Jimmy: BEN STEIN?
>> NO, NOT BEN STEIN. >> Jimmy: OH.
>> ONLY BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO THINK OF HIS NAME RIGHT NOW.
EMBARRASS SFWLG YOU CAN'T THINK OF HIS NAME?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING. >> IT'S MY NIGHTMARE TO HAVE
THIS HAPPEN ON A TV SHOW. >> Jimmy: BEN KENOBI, PROBABLY.
A SINGER? >> A SINGER.
>> Jimmy: BEN FULTZ? >> NOT BEN FUTURES.
>> Jimmy: BEN HARPER? >> BEN HARPER.
SO SORRY, BEN. MY BEST FRIEND, BEN HARPER.
THE FINALLY HAPPENED. BEN HARP I.
WE SANG THESE SONGS TOGETHER. I WAS AT HOME, HE CALLS ME UP,
HEY, I'M DOING A CONCERT, WHY DON'T YOU COME SEE IT?
FOR SURE. I GO TO THE CONCERT AT THE
HOLLYWOOD BOWL. WOW, THIS IS AMAZING.
SO I GO TO THE BOWL. SEE HIS SHOW.
THEN GO BACKSTAGE AFTERWARDS. AND.
>> Jimmy: I'M LAUGHING. YOU REALLY KNOW HIM, I'M
REALIZING. YOU REALLY FOR-GOT HIS NAME.
>> IF YOU ASKED ME WHAT MY COUSIN'S NAME IS LIKE, OH-OH.
>> Jimmy: WE'LL SAVE THAT FOR THE END.
>> YEAH, EXACTLY. BACKSTAGE, HE'S INTRODUCING ME
TO PEOPLE, REALLY GREAT -- THIS IS SAM, HE'S A GREAT SINGER.
OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, VERY KIND.
AND THEN, YOU KNOW, LIKE, OH, THANK YOU.
BUT THEN -- GERARD BUTLER COMES BACKSTAGE.
>> Jimmy: OKAY. >> I'M LIKE, GERARD BUTLER!
I'M ABOUT DO THIS ACTION MOVIE. HE'S AN ACTION SUPERSTAR.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. >> THIS MUST MEAN SOMETHING, YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN? SERENDIPITOUS ENERGY FROM THE
UNIVERSE. BEN INTRODUCES ME.
HE SAYS, OH, THIS IS SAM, HE'S A GREAT SINGER.
GIRARD BUTLER'S FRIEND IS LIKE, OH, YEAH?
SING SOMETHING. THE FULL NIGHTMARE OF PANIC.
UH! EVERYBODY'S SING SOMETHING, SING
SOMETHING, SING SOMETHING L SOMETHING!
EVERYBODY. I'M PANICKING.
WHAT DO YOU DO? ANOTHER NIGHTMARE OF MINE.
WHAT'S THAT? THEN I'M LIKE THINKING, I LOOK
AT MY GIRLFRIEND, SHE'S LIKE, I DON'T KNOW.
I LOOK AT BEN, HE'S LIKE, YEAH. THEN LIKE, I GO THROUGH MY
ROLODEX. I CAN'T SING SOMETHING SERIOUS,
WHO AM I TO DO THAT? I CAN'T SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.
>> IT'S NOT ENOUGH, IT'S TOO MUCH OF A JOKE.
I'M THINKING. OH!
I START SINGING THE THEME TO "FAMILY MATTERS."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ IT'S A RARE CONDITION THIS DAY
AND AGE ♪ ♪ TO READ GOOD NEWS ON THE
NEWSPAPER PAGE ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU, THANK YOU. CHARITY.
BEN HARPER. [ LAUGHTER ]
SO I'M OUT OF IT, LIKE GREAT, GREAT, GREAT.
YOU KNOW. THEN A GUY COMES UP TO ME, LIKE
HEY, THAT'S HILARIOUS, MAN, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THIS VIDEO OF ADAM
DEVINE SINGING ALL THE THEMES TO THINGS, HE'S THE GUY WHO -- OH,
OKAY, COOL, GREAT. HE'S LOOKING THROUGH HIS PHONE,
GREAT. THEN I START TALKING TO GERARD.
HE'S LIKE, OH, MAN, THAT WAS REALLY GREAT.
WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? I'M GOING TO SHOOT THIS MOVIE IN
ATLANTA, IT'S LIKE AN ACTION MOVIE, IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY
COOL. HE'S LIKE, I'VE DONE A TON OF
ACTION MOVIES, CAN I GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE?
I'VE GOT TWO PIECES OF ADVICE THAT YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT.
I WAS LIKE, YEAH, PLEASE, SURE. FROM HEAVEN THIS IS COMING.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. >> HE'S LIKE, FIRST THING, MAKE
SURE YOU WEAR EAR PLUGS. BECAUSE YOU'RE SHOOTING THESE
GUNS, I'VE ALMOST GONE DEAF BECAUSE OF THE GUNS, MAKE SURE
YOU WEAR EAR PLUGS. I'M LIKE, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. >> SECOND PIECE OF ADVICE, MAYBE
THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF ADVICE, AND THE GUY SAYS, I
FOUND THE VIDEO! [ LAUGHTER ]
HE SHOWS US THIS VIDEO. WE'RE SITTING HERE WATCHING THIS
SKETCH ON THIS PHONE. LIKE, OKAY, COOL, COOL.
WE'RE BOTH LIKE, YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, EVERYBODY COMES OUT FROM THE PARTY.
SO WE ALL LEAVE. SO I WAS LIKE --
>> Jimmy: OH, BOY. >> THANKS, DUDE.
>> Jimmy: DIDN'T GET THE ADVICE. >> DIDN'T GET THE ADVICE.
SO BUMMED. >> THEN YOU DID THE MOVIE.
>> THEN I DID THAT MOVIE. >> Jimmy: OH, WOW.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO REACH OUT TO GERARD.
>> YEAH, I KNOW, HOPEFULLY. LIKE A WEEK AGO I WAS -- I'M
STAYING IN ATLANTA. A WEEK AGO I WAS PULLING OUT OF
THIS DRIVEWAY. THE PLACE I'M STAYING HAS THIS
DRIVEWAY -- OR HAS THIS GARAGE RIGHT ON THIS BACK STREET.
YOU CAN'T SEE WHEN PEOPLE ARE WALKING BY.
I'M PULLING OUT, TWO GUYS WALK PAST, ALMOST HIT THEM, STOP REAL
QUICK, WHOOPS, SORRY. THEY WALK IN, KEEP ON WALKING.
I'M LIKE, SORRY. WAIT A MINUTE, I THINK I KNOW
THAT GUY. I PULL FORWARD, HEY.
HEY, SAM! ALL OF A SUDDEN THE GARAGE DOOR
STARTS TO CLOSE ON MY CAR. MY BUDDY RUNS IN, GRAB THE
GARAGE DOOR, LIFT IT UP, I DRIVE OUT.
THE STRENGTH. OH MY GOD, THANK YOU!
IT WAS GERARD BUTLER. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: IT WAS?
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: DID YOU GET THE -- DID
YOU GET PIECE NUMBER TWO OF ADVICE?
>> I COMPLETELY FORGOT. >> Jimmy: YOU FORGOT, YOU'RE
VERY FORGETFUL. >> I'VE GOT TO HOPE FOR THE
THIRD ONE. >> Jimmy: BEFORE WE GO, WHAT IS
YOUR COUSIN'S NAME? GO!
>> DUANE. >> Jimmy: "THE TOMORROW WAR"
PREMIERES JULY 2ED ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO.
ACTION MOVIE STAR SAM RICHARDSON, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WE'LL BE BACK WITH KODAK BLACK!
>> Jimmy: THIS EP IS CALLED "HAPPY BIRTHDAY KODAK."
WITH THE SONG "FEELIN' PEACHY," KODAK BLACK!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ YOU KNOW I NEEDED YOU
WHY WOULD LEAVE ME KEEPING IT REAL EVERY DAY ♪
♪ IT AIN'T EASY SORRY THIS AIN'T ORANGE
THIS IS PEACH ♪ ♪ GOTTA KEEP A CARBON
IN MY REACH PICKIN' CALAMARI OUT ♪
♪ MY TEETH BABY THIS IS PEACH
GOTTA KEEP A CARBON ♪
♪ IN MY REACH PICKIN' CALAMARI OUT
MY TEETH BABY ♪ ♪ MIGHT JUST PUT THEM
FORGI'S ON A JEEP I KEEP SPILLING COFFEE ♪
♪ ON MY JEANS I DON'T LIKE THIS TALKING
I'M GONE SQUEEZE BABY ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW I NEEDED YOU
WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE ME KEEPING IT REAL EVERY DAY ♪
♪ IT AIN'T EASY CARDIGANS WEATHER
IT COME OUT NEXT SEASON ♪ ♪ WOULD YOU JUST STAY
WITH ME PLEASE I'MA BLESS LIL' MAMA ♪
♪ LIKE SHE SNEEZING SCORED A TRIPLE DOUBLE
FOR MY NIECES ♪ ♪ I JUST BOUGHT A ROVER
FOR NO REASON I'M ON HOUSE ARREST ♪
♪ I CAN'T EVEN LEAVE LOCKED UP IN THE PEN
BUT I AIN'T PEED ♪ ♪ THE WATER DRIPPING
OFF ME AQUAFINA LOVE MY UNCLE ♪
♪ UNCLE LOVE MY AUNTIE
AUNTIE ♪ ♪ BLOWING ALL THIS MONEY
'CAUSE IT FREEZE ♪ ♪ SCAMMING IN MIAMI
BY THE BEACH TELLING ON YOUR HOMIES ♪
♪ THAT AIN'T Z BOY I HEARD YOU RATTED
FOR A CHEESECAKE ♪ ♪ THIS IS PEACH
GOTTA KEEP A CARBON IN MY REACH ♪
♪ PICKIN' CALAMARI OUT MY TEETH BABY
MIGHT JUST PUT THEM ♪ ♪ FORGI'S ON A JEEP
I KEEP SPILLING COFFEE ON MY JEANS ♪
♪ I DON'T LIKE THIS TALKING I'M GONE SQUEEZE BABY
SNIPERS AND THE BEAMS ♪ ♪ IN LIL' LIL' HAITI
SIPPING ON THE LEAN BUT I AIN'T LAZY ♪
♪ BAE CHECK YOUR SAVING SHE SAY DON'T WASTE IT ♪
♪ I BEEN SMOKING COFFEE WITH THE TREE
I'MA KEEP YOU HEALTHY ♪ ♪ SELLING P'S
DEVIL WANNA SIGN ME WHAT'S THE PLEA ♪
♪ DOUBLE NINES ON ME I'M FROM THE 18th
LOUIS V PEACH ♪ ♪ COLORED BLANKET
DOGGING ON THESE -- I GOT RABIES ♪
♪ HITTING HER FROM THE BACK I TOLD HER FACE ME
I BEEN GETTING A LOT ♪ ♪ OF MONEY LATELY
CARDI B I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR BRACELET ♪
♪ SHAWTY SAY I'M HANDSOME FOR A HAITIAN
I JUST RENT THE SPIDER ♪ ♪ FOR THE WEEKEND
LYING ON MY -- BUT IT AIN'T SHRINKING ♪
♪ SORRY THIS AIN'T ORANGE THIS IS PEACH
GOTTA KEEP A CARBON ♪ ♪ IN MY REACH
PICKIN' CALAMARI OUT MY TEETH BABY ♪
♪ YUH MIGHT JUST PUT THEM
FORGI'S ON A JEEP ♪ ♪ I KEEP SPILLING COFFEE
ON MY JEANS ♪ ♪ I DON'T LIKE THIS TALKING
I'M GONE SQUEEZE BABY YEAH ♪
♪ CRACKA TRYNA TELL ME GO TO SLEEP
I BEEN WRITING ♪ ♪ LYRICS AFTER THREE
BROTHER TOLD ME -- STICK TO RAPPIN' ♪
♪ EVERYBODY KNOW YOU 'BOUT YO ACTION
WHITE GIRL SAY ♪ ♪ SHE FEELING PEACHY
I STILL SMELL THE -- ON MY PINKY ♪
♪ BAE THAT -- TASTE LIKE TANGERINE
SORRY THIS AIN'T ORANGE ♪ ♪ THIS IS PEACH
GOTTA KEEP A CARBON IN MY REACH ♪
♪ PICKIN' CALAMARI OUT MY TEETH BABY
MIGHT JUST PUT THEM ♪ ♪ FORGI'S ON A JEEP
I KEEP SPILLING COFFEE ON MY JEANS ♪
♪ I DON'T LIKE THIS TALKING I'M GONE SQUEEZE BABY UH ♪
♪ ♪
>> Jimmy: THANKS TO ZOOEY
DESCHANEL, JONATHAN SCOTT, SAM RICHARDSON, KODAK BLACK,
MICHAEL PACKARD, JOSIAH MAYO, AND THE WHALE TOO FOR BRINGING
US TOGETHER. APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.
TOMORROW NIGHT, DAX SHEPARD, MONICA PADMAN, AND TONY HALE,
WITH MUSIC FROM SAWEETIE. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING, GOODNIGHT.