1 00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:01,934 >> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!" 2 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:06,672 TONIGHT -- AIDY BRYANT, "THE BACHELORETTE" 3 00:00:06,741 --> 00:00:08,207 KATIE THURSTON, AND MUSIC FROM JOHN MAYER. 4 00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:14,747 AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! >> Jimmy: HI THERE. 5 00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,215 I AM JIMMY. I'M THE HOST. 6 00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:21,621 THANKS FOR WATCHING. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US IN 7 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,756 LOS ANGELES WHERE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD, JUST A COUPLE 8 00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,024 HOURS UP THE ROAD IN SANTA BARBARA, A ROYAL BABY ARRIVED ON 9 00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:30,830 U.S. SOIL THIS WEEKEND. MEGHAN MARKLE GAVE BIRTH TO A 10 00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:33,900 BEAUTIFUL AND HEALTHY FUTURE OPRAH INTERVIEW. 11 00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:38,104 HARRY AND MEGHAN HAD A GIRL. HER NAME IS LILIBET, AS IN, "I 12 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:40,906 LILI BET NO ONE AT STARBUCKS WILL BE ABLE TO SPELL HER NAME 13 00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:43,643 ON THE CUP." THE BABY'S FULL NAME IS 14 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:46,311 LILIBET DIANA MOUNTBATTEN-WINDSOR. 15 00:00:46,381 --> 00:00:48,381 THE ONLY WAY THAT NAME COULD BE MORE BRITISH IS IF THEY SQUEEZED 16 00:00:48,383 --> 00:00:54,253 THE WORDS "CUCUMBER SANDWICH" IN LILIBET DIANA MOUNTBATTEN 17 00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:57,256 CUCUMBER SANDWICH WINDSOR COLLYWOBBLES. 18 00:00:57,325 --> 00:01:01,460 SO CONGRATULATIONS TO THE ROYAL FAMILY. 19 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,395 AFTER ALL THAT WENT ON, YOU THINK THEY'LL SEND A GIFT? 20 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:04,463 DO YOU THINK THE QUEEN IS ON AMAZON RIGHT NOW TRYING TO 21 00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:08,467 FIGURE OUT HOW TO SHIP A BABY BJORN TO SANTA BARBARA? 22 00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,936 NOT ONLY DO WE HAVE A NEW ROYAL BABY, WE HAVE A NEW SEASON OF 23 00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:13,739 "THE BACHELORETTE." IT WAS BACHELORETTE PREMIERE 24 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:17,476 NIGHT HERE ON ABC. THIS SEASON, THE ACTION HAPPENS 25 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:24,683 IN AMERICA'S MOST ROMANTIC CITY, ALBUQUERQUE. 26 00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,018 [ LAUGHTER ] OH, DOESN'T THAT SOUND LOVELY 27 00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:27,687 RIGHT NOW? TONIGHT, KATIE GOT TO MEET ALL 28 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,021 THE GUYS. SHE SAID, "I FEEL LIKE BEING THE 29 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,958 BACHELORETTE MEANS I CAN FALL IN LOVE AND START A FAMILY." 30 00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:36,628 WELL, I FEEL LIKE MAYBE KATIE HASN'T SEEN THE SHOW. 31 00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,230 I'LL ASK HER LATER. BACHELORETTE KATIE IS HERE 32 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:42,301 IN-STUDIO. MY WIFE HAS BEEN WORKING HARD ON 33 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:45,637 HER PREDICTION FOR WHO KATIE WILL PICK. 34 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:54,313 SHE HAS CORRECTLY CHOSEN NINE OUT OF THE LAST 12 WINNERS ON 35 00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,982 "THE BACHELOR" AND "BACHELORETTE." 36 00:01:56,984 --> 00:02:02,387 IF YOU CAN CALL THEM WINNERS. HER REPUTATION IS ON THE LINE. 37 00:02:02,457 --> 00:02:04,256 TONIGHT WE WILL RUN HER PICK BY KATIE AND IF THEY'RE BOTH ON THE 38 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,324 SAME PAGE, WE DON'T HAVE TO WATCH IT THIS YEAR. 39 00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:08,394 WOULDN'T THAT BE GREAT? THINK OF ALL THE TIME WE COULD 40 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,661 SAVE. ALSO WITH US, YOU KNOW, EVERY 41 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:14,066 WEEK FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS, WE'VE BEEN INVITING ONE PERSON 42 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,935 TO SIT IN OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE. WE STILL CAN'T HAVE A ROOMFUL OF 43 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:23,275 PEOPLE HERE, SO WE BRING IN ONE FULLY VACCINATED AUDIENCE PERSON 44 00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:26,879 AND OUR FVAM TONIGHT IS SITTING RIGHT HERE. 45 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:35,554 PLEASE SAY HELLO TO KAITLYN. WELCOME, KAITLYN. 46 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:39,091 THANKS FOR COMING. I HEAR YOU'RE A BIG FAN OF "THE 47 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:44,897 BATCH COLOR AND "BACHELORETTE". >> I AM TRULY OBSESSED. 48 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:47,699 IT'S ALMOST EMBARRASSING. I'M HERE TONIGHT. 49 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,903 IT'S CLEARLY WORTH IT TO BE OBSESSED WITH IT BECAUSE I'M 50 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,204 SITTING IN THIS SHARE WITH JIMMY KIMMEL. 51 00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:54,707 >> Jimmy: CLOSE ENOUGH, RIGHT? I HEAR YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL 52 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:55,508 WRESTLER. THAT TRUE? 53 00:02:55,576 --> 00:03:02,982 >> I AM. IT'S SURPRISINGBECAUSE I'M 54 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,383 5'1", BUT I'M FEISTY AS HELL. CAN I SAY HELL? 55 00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:06,785 >> Jimmy: YES. >> I'M WITH WOW, WOMEN OF 56 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:10,055 WRESTLING. >> Jimmy: WOW. 57 00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:15,461 >> YEAH. I COULD BODY SLAM YOU, JIMMY, IF 58 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:18,263 YOU WANT. >> Jimmy: MAYBE IN THE SHOW THAT 59 00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:19,598 WOULD BE FUN. >> ALL RIGHT. 60 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:23,602 >> Jimmy: OF ALL THE BACHELORS AND BACHELORETTES, IF YOU COULD 61 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:27,139 WRESTLE ONE OF THEM, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? 62 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,874 >> I THINK I HAVE TO SAY JUAN PABLO. 63 00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:34,546 >> Jimmy: OH, JUAN PABLO. >> ONCE I THROW HIM TO THE 64 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:38,417 GROUND, I'M GOING SAY "IT'S NOT OKAY." 65 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,285 YOU KNOW? >> Jimmy: I LIKE THAT. 66 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,354 >> IT'S NOT OKAY. >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU SEEN 67 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:45,224 TONIGHT'S EPISODE OF "THE BACHELORETTE"? 68 00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:46,558 >> I HAVE. I'M VERY EXCITED. 69 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,961 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE EXCITED? >> YES. 70 00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:50,562 I'M OBSESSED. I HAVE MY TOP FOUR. 71 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,364 I CAN RIVAL YOUR WIFE, MAYBE. >> Jimmy: IT WILL BE INTERESTING 72 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:57,503 TO SEE YOU GO HEAD TO HEAD. MAYBE YOU AND MY WIFE COULD 73 00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,105 WRESTLE. >> BRING IT, BRING IT! 74 00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:09,248 >> Jimmy: THAT WOULD BE FUN. MY WIFE IS NOT A PHYSICALLY 75 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:12,785 VIOLENT PERSON. WHEN OUR 4-YEAR-OLD COMES AT 76 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:16,055 HER, SHE GOES AHH! >> WELL, I LOOK SIMILAR TO A 77 00:04:16,057 --> 00:04:17,189 4-YEAR-OLD. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. 78 00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:22,061 YOU KNOW, EVERY TIME MY WIFE PICKS ONE OF THESE BACHELORS, I 79 00:04:22,063 --> 00:04:26,064 FEEL LIKE SHE IS PICKING A GUY FOR HERSELF. 80 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:28,533 >> IT'S TRUE. >> Jimmy: NEW BACHELORETTE 81 00:04:28,603 --> 00:04:32,804 KATIE, YOU MAY REMEMBER LAST SEASON SHE WAS ON "THE 82 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:33,939 BACHELOR." SHE PRESENTED MATT, THE BACHELOR 83 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,608 WITH A SEX TOY ON NIGHT ONE. AND IT DIDN'T WORK BECAUSE HE 84 00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:37,876 DIDN'T PICK HER. BUT BECAUSE SHE DID SOMETHING 85 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,678 UNUSUAL, A LOT OF THE GUYS WHO SHOWED UP TO WOO HER DID TOO. 86 00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:40,879 ONE OF THEM ARRIVED GIFT-WRAPPED IN A BOX. 87 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:47,886 ONE GUY CAME IN A DODGE RAM WITH A BALL PIT IN THE BACK. 88 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,756 HE HAD THE WHOLE BED OF HIS TRUCK FILLED WITH COLORED BALLS 89 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,557 LIKE A TRUCK E. CHEESE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 90 00:04:52,627 --> 00:04:54,893 ANOTHER GUY SHOWED UP IN AN RV. AND TOLD HER HE LIVES IN IT. 91 00:04:54,895 --> 00:05:00,432 HE DID NOT GET A ROSE. A SUITOR NAMED CONNOR B. 92 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,567 DRESSED UP AS A CAT BECAUSE KATIE LOVES CATS. 93 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,503 AND SOMEHOW, THIS ACTUALLY WORKED BECAUSE THESE TWO MADE 94 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:07,106 OUT LIKE HE WAS LAPPING UP A BOWL OF MILK. 95 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:21,987 >> YOU'RE DOING AWESOME. >> IT'S FUN. 96 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,790 >> I'M HOPING I DON'T GET MY WHISKERS ON YOU. 97 00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:28,727 OH MY GOD, I GOT IT ON YOU! >> Jimmy: IT'S A GOOD REMINDER. 98 00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:33,065 DON'T FORGET TO SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS, FOLKS. 99 00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:37,002 IT'S KIND OF WEIRD BECAUSE THIS IS THE FIRST NEW SEASON WITHOUT 100 00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:39,271 CHRIS HARRISON AS THE HOST, WHICH I'M NOT SURE THE SHOW IS 101 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,206 EVEN LEGAL WITHOUT CHRIS IN THERE. 102 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,275 I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S BINDING. A PAIR OF FORMER BACHELORETTES 103 00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,277 STEPPED IN TO CO-HOST. TAYSHIA AND KAITLYN HELPED THE 104 00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:48,080 GANG TONIGHT, SET AN ALL-TIME RECORD FOR MOST OMGs IN A SINGLE 105 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:52,284 EVENING OF TELEVISION. >> OH, MY GOSH. 106 00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:54,620 >> OH MY GOD! >> OH MY GOD. 107 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:59,358 >> OH MY GOD! >> OH MY GOD. 108 00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:01,760 >> OH, MY GOSH. >> OH, MY GOSH. 109 00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:04,096 >> OH, MY GOSH. >> OH, MY GOSH. 110 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:06,565 >> OH, MY GOSH. >> OH MY GOD. 111 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:10,168 >> OH MY GOD! >> OH, MY GOSH! 112 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,638 >> OH MY GOD. >> OH, MY GOSH. 113 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:16,842 >> OH MY GOD! >> OH MY GOD. 114 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,910 >> OH, MY GOSH! >> OH MY GOD. 115 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:22,914 >> OH MY GOD. >> OH MY GOD! 116 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:26,585 >> OH MY GOD! >> OH MY GOD! 117 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:29,121 >> OH, MY GOSH. >> OH MY GOD. 118 00:06:29,123 --> 00:06:32,924 >> OH, MY GOSH. >> OH, MY GOSH. 119 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,794 >> OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! 120 00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:41,266 OH MY GOD! OH, MY GOSH. 121 00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:43,402 >> OH, MY GOSH. >> OH, MY GOSH. 122 00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:45,470 >> OH MY GOD! >> I'M SORRY. 123 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:49,074 >> OH, MY GOSH! >> CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? 124 00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:52,011 >> OH MY GOD! >> OH, MY GOSH. 125 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:57,816 >> OH MY GOD! >> Jimmy: WELL, I HAVE SOME VERY 126 00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:02,955 BAD NEWS. GOD ABANDONED THIS SHOW 15 127 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,757 SEASONS AGO. SO KATIE WILL BE HERE LATER TO 128 00:07:04,759 --> 00:07:07,559 JOIN ME IN PRAYER. DONALD TRUMP IS TAKING THE OLD 129 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:11,629 ROUTINE BACK ON THE ROAD. FIBERACE DID 90 MINUTES OF 130 00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:15,367 MOSTLY OLD MATERIAL AT THE NORTH CAROLINA STATE GOP 131 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:18,036 CONVENTION IN GREENVILLE ON SATURDAY, AFTER WHICH THERE WAS 132 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:21,106 TALK ONLINE THAT HE MAY HAVE SUFFERED A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION 133 00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:24,510 SPECIFICALLY INVOLVING HIS PANTS, WHICH SOME BELIEVED WERE 134 00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:32,184 ON BACKWARDS. >> WOW, MR. PRESIDENT, THANK YOU 135 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:36,055 SO MUCH. GO BACK TO 2016, I WAS IN A 136 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,190 17-WAY RACE AND WON THAT PRIMARY AND GOT HERE. 137 00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:42,527 I WAS BUSINESS GUY THAT NEVER RAN FOR OFFICE. 138 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:45,264 >> Jimmy: SOME PEOPLE THOUGHT THEY SAW A FLY THERE. 139 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,999 POOR MIKE PENCE DIDN'T KNOW WHICH END TO KISS! 140 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,069 IT WAS VERY CONFUSING. THENTHERE WAS A DETAILED ONLINE 141 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,137 INVESTIGATION. YOU KNOW, USUALLY IF YOU GOT 142 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:55,140 THIS CLOSE TO TRUMP'S CROTCH, HE'D PAY YOU $130,000. 143 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:58,077 BUT IT TURNS OUT, IT WAS JUST A REVOLTING ILLUSION 144 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,478 THAT RESULTED IN THESE HILARIOUS HEADLINES. 145 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:02,347 "NO, TRUMP DIDN'T WEAR HIS PANTS BACKWARDS AT THAT NORTH CAROLINA 146 00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:05,284 RALLY." "ACTUALLY, TRUMP WAS NOT WEARING 147 00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,219 HIS PANTS BACKWARD AT A WEEKEND RALLY." 148 00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:14,226 "TRUMP SUCCESSFULLY WORE PANTS CORRECTLY AT RALLY." 149 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,294 WELL GOOD FOR YOU. IMAGINE BEING THE FACT CHECKER 150 00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:18,497 THAT GOT THAT CALL? "HEY STEVE, I KNOW IT'S SATURDAY 151 00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:22,835 NIGHT, BUT UH, CAN YOU CHECK TO SEE IF RONALD McDINGBAT PUT HIS 152 00:08:22,837 --> 00:08:23,769 PANTS ON BACKWARDS OR NOT?" "THANKS. 153 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:31,976 HOW'S SARAH? OH, OH, VERY SORRY TO WAKE YOU 154 00:08:32,046 --> 00:08:33,111 GUYS UP. BACKWARDS SEEMING PANTS SEEM TO 155 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:38,316 BE A PROBLEM FOR REPUBLICAN POLITICIANS IN GENERAL. 156 00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:41,520 FOR INSTANCE, FORMER GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE. 157 00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:45,390 IT LOOKS LIKE HE TRIED SNEAKING A MEATLOAF INTO THE GAME. 158 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:46,458 SENATE MINORITY LEADER MITCH McCONNELL IN A PAIR OF 159 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:50,195 STARCHED-UP BLUE JEANS. THIS TRADITION GOES BACK QUITE A 160 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:54,199 LONG WAY. THERE'S RONALD REAGAN IN A PAIR 161 00:08:54,201 --> 00:09:00,472 OF SWEATPANTS ONLY A KANYE COULD LOVE. 162 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,875 AND OF COURSE RUDY GIULIANI JUST KIND OF CHECKING TO MAKE SURE 163 00:09:02,877 --> 00:09:04,609 IT'S ALL STILL THERE. DIGGING THROUGH HIS 164 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:05,944 UNDER-ROODYS. AS FOR TRUMP, HE HAD NOT SPOKEN 165 00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,079 IN FRONT OF A CROWD SINCE FEBRUARY, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO 166 00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,614 GIVING HIS BASE SOMETHING TO RALLY AROUND, YOU'D NEVER KNOW 167 00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:15,153 IT, HE HASN'T MISSED A BEAT! >> GOING TO TAKE BACK OUR 168 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:22,227 COUNTRY AND WE'RE GOING TO TAKE IT BACK AT A LEVEL THAT IS VERY, 169 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:26,298 VERY GOOD. >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT. 170 00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,032 GOING TO BE THE BEST GOOD ANYONE HAS EVER SEEN. 171 00:09:28,102 --> 00:09:32,170 TRUMP TOUCHED ON A VARIETY OF SUBJECTS, INCLUDING YOU'LL NEVER 172 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:35,173 GUESS WHAT. >> WE'RE GOING HAVE A TREMENDOUS 173 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:36,307 2022, JUST LIKE WE DID, FRANKLY, 2020. 174 00:09:36,377 --> 00:09:42,781 THINK OF IT. MORE VOTES THAN ANY SITTING 175 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:45,050 PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES BY FAR. 176 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:49,855 WE HAD A GREAT ELECTION. BAD THINGS HAPPENED, BUT WE HAD 177 00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,256 A GREAT ELECTION. >> Jimmy: THAT SHOULD BE THE 178 00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:55,994 TITLE OF HIS BOOK, "BAD THINGS HA 179 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:59,130 HAPPENED. " 180 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,331 AND THIS WAS WEIRD, APPARENTLY, IN BETWEEN GOLFING AND 181 00:10:00,401 --> 00:10:01,533 CONSPIRACY THEORY SPREADING, THE FORMER PRESIDENT HAS BEEN 182 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:04,736 WATCHING OUR SHOW AND DISCUSSING IT WITH THE MYPILLOW MAN. 183 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:07,272 >> LINDELL WAS RECENTLY ON JIMMY KIMMEL. 184 00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:10,142 IT DID NOT GO WELL. LINDELL TOLD ME TRUMP CALLED HIM 185 00:10:10,144 --> 00:10:13,679 AFTER THAT APPEARANCE TO TELL HIM HOW WELL HE DID. 186 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:16,281 IT'S ALMOST LIKE TRUMP WISHES HE HAD BEEN ON KIMMEL. 187 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,416 SAD. >> Jimmy: WHAT'S SAD ABOUT THAT? 188 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:25,023 I THINK I MIGHT BE OFFENDED. THIS WAS A SHOCKER, FOX NEWS 189 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:28,693 DIDN'T EVEN SHOW TRUMP'S SPEECH. TAT'S LIKE IF TBS PASSED ON A 190 00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,762 NEW EPISODE OF "BIG BANG THEORY." 191 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:36,100 IT'S UNHEARD OF. BUT DONALD DID CATCH UP WITH HIS 192 00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:39,104 FOX FRIENDS IN GREENVILLE TO WEIGH IN ON WHETHER IF HE DOES 193 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:42,908 DECIDE TO RUN, WHICH HE WILL, WILL HE DO IT WITH MIKE PENCE. 194 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:46,644 >> YEAH, I THINK I WAS DISAPPOINTED ON ONE ACCOUNT. 195 00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:49,848 BUT THAT WAS A CHOICE THAT MIKE MADE. 196 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:51,049 AND I WANT PEOPLE TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS. 197 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:56,255 AND HE DID. AND YOU KNOW, MIKE AND I HAVE A 198 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,322 GOOD RELATIONSHIP. WE CONTINUE TO HAVE A GOOD. 199 00:10:57,391 --> 00:11:03,194 BUT IT'S TOO EARLY TO BE DISCUSSING RUNNING MATES. 200 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:06,865 >> Jimmy: CELLMATES MAYBE, BUT TOO EARLY FOR RUNNING MATES. 201 00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,533 THAT LITTLE LUMP OF A TRUMP MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE IS BUSY 202 00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:09,668 STIRRING UP A CAULDRON FULL OF GARBAGE. 203 00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,203 KLAN MOM SENT A LETTER TO PRESIDENT BIDEN DEMANDING THAT 204 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,940 HE ANSWER A LIST OF QUESTIONS ABOUT COVID. 205 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,009 INCLUDING THE FOLLOWING, "IS THERE EVIDENCE THAT 206 00:11:17,011 --> 00:11:19,210 COVID-19 IS A BIOWEAPON?" "WHO FUNDED THE WUHAN INSTITUTE 207 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,012 OF VIROLOGY RESEARCH OF CORONAVIRUSES?" 208 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,949 "WHAT ROLE DID THE NIH, SPECIFICALLY DR. ANTHONY FAUCI 209 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,752 PLAY?" I GUESS SHE FORGOT THAT THIS ALL 210 00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:27,819 HAPPENED WHEN TRUMP WAS PRESIDENT. 211 00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:31,556 "WE REMAIN CONVINCED THAT DR. FAUCI MISLED THE AMERICAN 212 00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:34,026 PUBLIC REGARDING THE ORIGINS, TRANSMISSION, AND MORTALITY OF 213 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:38,296 THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC." "WE URGE YOUR ADMINISTRATION TO 214 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:46,305 ACT TO PROVIDE US WITH THESE ANSWERS BY JUNE 31, 2021." 215 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:51,243 NOW I CAN HEAR SOME OF YOU LIBERAL FACT CHECKERS LAUGHING, 216 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:54,112 SAYING, WELL, JUNE ONLY HAS 30 DAYS. 217 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,913 THERE IS NO JUNE 31st. BUT THAT'S WHAT BIG CALENDAR 218 00:11:55,983 --> 00:12:02,120 WANTS YOU TO THINK! HAVE TO BE OPEN. 219 00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:06,658 NO TWO MARJORIE TAYLOR GREEN COMMENTS MAKES SENSE WHEN YOU 220 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:11,263 PUT THEM SIDE BY SIDE. HER MESSAGE, ON ONE SIDE IT'S 221 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,198 "CHINA CREATED A VIRUS THAT KILLED ALMOST 600,000 222 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:17,268 AMERICANS." AND THE OTHER IS "I REFUSE TO 223 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,004 WEAR A MASK." VACCINATION RATES ARE DOWN 224 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,405 ACROSS THE COUNTRY, SO MUCH SO THAT THEY SAY WE MAY NOT HIT THE 225 00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:24,342 PRESIDENT'S GOAL OF HAVING 70% OF AMERICANS AT LEAST 226 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,678 PARTIALLY VACCINATED BY THE 4TH OF JULY. 227 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,547 NOT SURPRISINGLY, THE LEAST VACCINATED STATES ARE TENNESSEE, 228 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,349 ARKANSAS, LOUISIANA, ALABAMA, AND MISSISSIPPI. 229 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:34,953 I FEEL LIKE THEY ARE BAD INFLUENCES ON EACH OTHER. 230 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:40,825 MAYBE WE NEED TO BREAK THEM UP, LIKE THEY DO IN SCHOOL WHEN THE 231 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,961 DISRUPTIVE KIDS. TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO GET THEIR 232 00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:44,162 SHOTS, OFFICIALS IN WEST VIRGINIA ARE OFFERING INCENTIVES 233 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:49,367 LIKE CASH, GUNS, AND TRUCKS. IT'S LIKE A SHOWCASE ON THE 234 00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:56,708 PRICE IS WHITE. AND ONE REASON FOR THIS ANTI-VAX 235 00:12:56,710 --> 00:13:03,315 SENTIMENT IS YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE LIKE PASTOR/CONSPIRACY THEORIST 236 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,917 RICK WILES SPREADING THE GOSPEL OF MISINFORMATION. 237 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:11,723 >> I'M GOING TO SURVIVE A GLOBAL GENOCIDE. 238 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:14,126 THE ONLY GOOD THING THAT WILL COME OUT OF THIS IS A LOT OF 239 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,994 STUPID PEOPLE WILL BE KILLED OFF. 240 00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:19,864 >> Jimmy: WELL, GUESS WHAT? THIS WEEK PASTOR WILES WAS 241 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:22,800 HOSPITALIZED WITH COVID-19. SO I GUESS HE WAS HALF RIGHT. 242 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:25,737 HE IS BELIEVED TO HAVE INFECTED TEN PEOPLE, MOSTLY FAMILY AND 243 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:32,276 MEMBERS OF HIS STAFF, MANY OF THEY RELEASED A STATEMENT. 244 00:13:32,346 --> 00:13:38,350 HE SAID "THIS WAS A FULL FRONTAL HIT FROM HELL ON YOUR TRUNEWS 245 00:13:38,352 --> 00:13:39,150 FAMILY." GUILLERMO, IT WAS A FULL-FRONTAL 246 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,685 HIT FROM HELL ON OUR TRUNEWS FAMILY. 247 00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:45,490 WE SHOULD PROBABLY SEND SOUP. >> Guillermo: YEAH, MAYBE. 248 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:51,429 >> Jimmy: JEFF BEZOS, AS HE TRANSFORMS INTO FULL SUPER 249 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,098 VILLAIN, HE IS LAUNCHING SOMETHING NEW, AND THAT 250 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,033 SOMETHING IS HIMSELF. NEXT MONTH, HIS SPACE COMPANY 251 00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:57,435 BLUE ORIGIN IS GOING TO LAUNCH THEIR FIRST FLIGHT. 252 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,672 AND YOU KNOW WHO'S GOING ALONG FOR THE RIDE? 253 00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:06,111 JEFF HIMSELF WILL BE IN THE SHIP. 254 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,047 HE'LL TAKE THE TRIP WITH HIS BROTHER MARK. 255 00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:12,984 MARK BEZOS LOOKS LIKE THE ACTOR YOU WOULD HIRE TO PLAY JEFF 256 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:17,121 BEZOS IN THE AM DESIGN PRIME MINISERIES ABOUT THIS. 257 00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:18,523 I KNOW THE REAL REASON JEFF BEZOS WANTS TO GO INTO 258 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,326 SPACE, IT'S SO HE CAN SEE EVERYTHING HE OWNS. 259 00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:25,330 JUNE, THE MONTH OF JUNE IF YOU DON'T KNOW IS PRIDE MONTH. 260 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:29,534 FOR THOSE IN THE LGBTQ PLUS COMMUNITY THIS MONTH FOR 261 00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:30,735 CELEBRATION. AND FOR STRAIGHT MEN LIKE ME 262 00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:33,939 IT'S A MONTH OF REMINDING WE ARE NOT IN VERY GOOD SHAPE 263 00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,674 PHYSICALLY AT ALL. THIS IS A TRICKY MONTH FOR SOME 264 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,742 MAJOR CORPORATIONS. NOWADAYS, YOU CAN'T SEPARATE 265 00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:44,015 YOUR BUSINESS FROM THINGS LIKE EVENT LIKE PRIDE MONTH. 266 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:46,217 YOU HAVE TO MAKE A STATEMENT, WHICH IT HAS BECOME OBVIOUS IS 267 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,619 EASIER FOR SOME COMPANIES THAN OTHERS. 268 00:14:48,689 --> 00:14:52,824 >> AT BASS PRO SHOP, WE KNOW THAT THE GREAT OUTDOORS IS A 269 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:56,961 PLACE WE CAN ALL SHARE. WHETHER IT BE A CAMPING TRIP 270 00:14:57,030 --> 00:15:00,432 WITH YOUR KIDS OR A FISHING TRIP WITH YOUR LOVER. 271 00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:05,237 IT'S TIME TO HIT THE TRAIL. THIS PRIDE MONTH WE'RE 272 00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:10,975 CELEBRATING THOSE WHO LOVE THE OUTDOORS AND MEMBERS OF THE SAME 273 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,110 SEX. HELL, FOR ALL WE KNOW, THERE 274 00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:18,917 COULD BE FISH THAT ARE GAY. I'M TALKING TO YOU, RAINBOW 275 00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:20,318 TROUT. WHATEVER TWO CONSENTING ADULTS 276 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:26,992 WANT TO DO IN A 9 BY 9 SUN DOME COLLMAN TENT IS THEIR BUSINESS. 277 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:30,796 AND IF THEY ONLY NEED ONE MARMOT DOWN SLEEPING BAG BETWEEN THEM, 278 00:15:30,864 --> 00:15:32,130 THAT'S OKAY WITH US. BASS PRO SHOPS. 279 00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:35,266 WE'RE STILL TRYING TO FIGURE THIS WHOLE THING OUT. 280 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:45,476 >> Jimmy: GOOD FOR THEM. HEY, WE'VE GOT A GOOD SHOW FOR 281 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,345 YOU TONIGHT. THE NEW BACHELORETTE, 282 00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:48,880 KATIE IS WITH US. WE HAVE MUSIC FROM JOHN MAYER. 283 00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:50,148 AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH AIDY BRYANT. 284 00:15:51,685 --> 00:15:55,187 ♪ ♪ 285 00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:05,430 >> HI THERE. TONIGHT WE WELCOME A BRAND-NEW 286 00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:09,100 BACHELORETTE, KATIE THURSTON IS HERE. 287 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,569 THEN LATER, THIS GUY. HE IS A GREAT, GREAT GUITAR 288 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:14,239 PLAYER. HE IS A SEVEN-TIME GRAMMY 289 00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:14,972 WINNER. HIS NEW ALBUM IS CALLED "SOB 290 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:15,640 ROCK." THE WHOLE SHEBANG COMES OUT 291 00:16:15,709 --> 00:16:16,708 JULY 16TH. MUSIC FROM JOHN MAYER. 292 00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:22,514 THIS WEEK, WE'VE GOT NEW SHOWS WITH LIAM NEESON, 293 00:16:22,516 --> 00:16:26,651 TOM HIDDLESTON, WHO IS LOKI, WIZ KHALIFA, JAMES PATTERSON, AND 294 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,053 PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON. AND WE WILL HAVE MUSIC FROM 295 00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:33,191 CHILD, T-PAIN AND KEHLANI, AND JACKSON BROWNE TOO. 296 00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,392 PLEASE JOIN US FOR EVERY BIT OF THAT. 297 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:37,395 LAST MONTH, OUR FIRST GUEST LAST MONTH, OUR FIRST GUEST 298 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,529 WRAPPED HER NINTH SEASON OF "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," RELEASED 299 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,266 THE THIRD AND FINAL SEASON OF HER SERIES "SHRILL," AND 300 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,402 DISCOVERED TWO NEW PLANETS. SHE'S VERY PRODUCTIVE. 301 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:45,870 ALL THREE SEASONS OF "SHRILL" ARE ON HULU NOW. 302 00:16:45,939 --> 00:16:50,075 PLEASE WELCOME AIDY BRYANT. [ APPLAUSE ] 303 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:52,543 HI, AIDY! HOW ARE YOU? 304 00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:55,213 >> HI. I'M GOOD. 305 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:57,816 >> Jimmy: HOW'S IT GOING? YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE 306 00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:02,820 AWARE OF THIS, BUT I WAS TOLD THAT THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE 307 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:06,024 WAS MARCH 9th, 2020. IT WAS A MONDAY. 308 00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:09,961 AND THEN BY FRIDAY, WE'RE ALL HIDING IN OUR BASEMENTS. 309 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,830 >> I KNOW. I KIND OF CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 310 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:15,099 LIKE THE LAST TIME I WAS THERE, PEOPLE WERE KIND OF LIKE OH, 311 00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:18,636 THERE IS THIS WEIRD THING GOING ON, AND THEN, YEAH, ON MY FLIGHT 312 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:22,907 BACK TO NEW YORK, THERE WAS A WOMAN IN LIKE A FULL GAS MASK, 313 00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:27,311 AND BASICALLY A PLASTIC PONCHO. AND WE WERE LOOKING AT HER LIKE 314 00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:30,648 OH, WHAT A NUTCASE. AND ABSOLUTELY A WEEK LATER I 315 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,451 WAS IN THE GROCERY STORE IN MY OWN PLASTIC PONCHO AND FULL 316 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:37,455 PLASTIC GLOVES. >> Jimmy: ARE YOU STILL WASHING 317 00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:41,192 YOUR HANDS A LOT AND DOING ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF? 318 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:44,128 OR HAVE YOU GIVEN UP? >> I'M VACCINATED NOW. 319 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:47,131 SO I SUCK IN. >> Jimmy: CLEANLINCLEANLINESS. 320 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,935 >> NASTY ON THE TOWN, YEAH. >> Jimmy: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT 321 00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:53,404 NOW? >> WELL, CURRENTLY I'M IN 322 00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,273 PHOENIX, ARIZONA. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE IN PHOENIX, 323 00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:56,741 ARIZONA. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE IN A HOTEL? 324 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,878 >> I AM, YEAH. YEAH. 325 00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,345 I'M VISITING MY FAMILY. >> Jimmy: I SEE. 326 00:18:01,415 --> 00:18:04,882 BUT WHEN YOU VISIT YOUR FAMILY, YOU DON'T STAY IN THE HOUSE WITH 327 00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:09,620 THEM? . 328 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:12,223 >> NO. MY BROTHER IS ACTUALLY STAYING 329 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,224 IN THEIR SPARE BEDROOM. I'M ON TV. 330 00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:18,163 I GOT TO STAY AT THE HOTEL. >> Jimmy: IS YOUR BROTHER 331 00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,697 JEALOUS THAT YOU ESCAPED TO THE HOTEL? 332 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:26,705 >> I THINK MAYBE, YEAH. NO, BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S NICE TO 333 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,574 BE HOME. MEMORIES ALL AROUND ME. 334 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:32,110 >> Jimmy: WHAT MEMORIES ARE AROUND YOU? 335 00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,778 TELL ME SOME OF YOUR MEMORIES. >> OH, YEAH. 336 00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:38,984 TRULY BLOCKS FROM WHERE I AM, I GOT INTO MY VERY FIRST 337 00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:40,986 FENDER-BENDER. >> Jimmy: OH, HOW NICE. 338 00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:44,322 >> YEAH, YEAH. I WAS 16 YEARS OLD, AND I WAS IN 339 00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:49,994 CHARGE OF DRIVING ALL THE OTHER 14-YEAR-OLDS TO HIGH SCHOOL. 340 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,329 AND ONE OF THEM WAS ON THE LACROSSE TEAM. 341 00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:56,534 AND AS A JOKE AT A STOPLIGHT, HE PUT THE LACROSSE NET OVER MY 342 00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:59,537 FACE WHILE I WAS DRIVING. AND I REAR-ENDED A PURPLE PT 343 00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:07,145 CRUISER. SEEMED A REAL SIGN OF THE TIMES. 344 00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:11,349 AND THEN WE PULLED OFF TO CHECK FOR DAMAGE, OF COURSE THE PERSON 345 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:16,087 WHO OWNS THE PURPLE PT CRUISER GETS OUT OF THE CAR AND HAS A 346 00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:22,493 FULL JAMIROQUAI LIKE VIRTUAL INSANITY HAT, ONE OF THOSE FURRY 347 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:25,363 HATS. SO I WAS SCARED AND SO WORRIED. 348 00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:28,166 BUT THIS WOMAN IS LOOKING AROUND LIKE OH MY GOD, YOU REAR-ENDED 349 00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:32,103 M. BUT HER HAT WAS SHAKING AROUND. 350 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:35,573 THANKFULLY THERE WAS NO DAMAGE. BUT I STILL HAVEN'T TOLD MY 351 00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:36,907 PARENTS ABOUT IT. >> Jimmy: OH, YOU HAVEN'T? 352 00:19:36,977 --> 00:19:37,975 REALLY? >> NO, NO. 353 00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:41,579 >> Jimmy: OH, DO YOU THINK YOU'LL EVER TELL THEM? 354 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:43,848 DO YOU THINK THEY'LL BE UPSET IF THEY AREA ABOUT IT NOW? 355 00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:47,919 >> I CAN TELL YOU WITH COMPLETE CERTAINTY THAT THEY WILL BE 356 00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:50,855 WATCHING THIS AND FIND OUT FROM THIS. 357 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:54,859 >> Jimmy: WELL, I HOPE THE FACT THAT YOU TOLD THE STORY ON TV 358 00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:58,129 LESSENS THE BLOW IN SOME WAY. >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 359 00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,999 >> Jimmy: BOY, THAT PT CRUISER, IT CAME ON HOT. 360 00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,133 >> WOO! >> Jimmy: IT WAS BIG AND LET'S 361 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:07,872 START MAKING THEM IN PURPLE. >> AND THEN THEY SAID SEND THEM 362 00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:09,074 ALL TO HELL. THIS IS TRASH. 363 00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:11,209 WE CAN'T MAKE THESE ANYMORE. >> Jimmy: AND THERE ARE NONE 364 00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:14,479 LEFT ON THE ROAD. >> NO. 365 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:17,348 >> Jimmy: BUT IT SEEMS LIKE IF YOU RUN -- I KNOW THERE IS A 366 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:21,086 LACROSSE NET ON YOUR HEAD. BUT RUNNING INTO A PURPLE CAR 367 00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:22,753 MEANS YOU PROBABLY WEREN'T >> YEAH.TTENTION.- 368 00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:27,091 I MEAN, NO, I WAS A 16-YEAR-OLD IN CHARGE OF GETTING OTHER 369 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,293 CHILDREN TO SCHOOL. IT'S NOT GOOD. 370 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:31,496 >> Jimmy: NO, THAT SEEMS UNFAIR. ARE YOU IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD OR 371 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:32,564 ARE YOU NOT IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD? 372 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:36,501 >> NO, I'M A COUPLE OF BLOCKS FROM WHERE I GREW UP. 373 00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:37,835 I'M TRULY SURROUNDED BY HAUNTING MEMORIES. 374 00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:42,974 >> Jimmy: WHAT ELSE? >> WELL, A COUPLE BLOCKS AWAY, 375 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:47,312 OUR FAMILY FRIENDS OWNED A STRIP CLUB CALLED TEASERS. 376 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:51,248 AND SO IT'S LIKE ONE OF MY DEAREST CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, HIS 377 00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:54,252 PARENTS OWNED TEASERS. AND THEY WOULD PICK ME UP AFTER 378 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:58,256 SCHOOL, AND WE WOULD CARPOOL. AND ONCE WE GOT TO GO OVER THERE 379 00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:01,926 AND WE WERE IN THE PARKING LOT. THEY WERE JUST RUNNING AN 380 00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:03,661 ERRAND, PICKING SOMETHING UP OR SOMETHING. 381 00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:06,464 AND WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO GO IN BECAUSE IT'S A TOPLESS BAR. 382 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:12,136 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. >> AND WE WERE LIKE 9. 383 00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:13,337 BUT THEY DID LET US WAIT IN THE PARKING LOT. 384 00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:18,743 AND AS A REWARD FOR THAT, THEY BROUGHT OUT A MASSIVE SNAKE LIKE 385 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:22,947 A PYTHON THAT I GUESS THEY USED IN SOME OF THE SEXUAL SHOWINGS 386 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:30,087 THAT THEY DID. AND THEN THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME 387 00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:31,956 THAT I EVER GOT TO TOUCH A SNAKE. 388 00:21:32,025 --> 00:21:34,892 AND REALLY, MY FIRST TASTE OF SHO 389 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:39,163 SHOWBIZ. >> Jimmy: SEEMS IT MADE QUITE AN 390 00:21:39,232 --> 00:21:42,766 IMPRESSION ON YOU, I GUESS. >> WELL, IT WAS THRILLING, YEAH. 391 00:21:42,836 --> 00:21:46,571 >> Jimmy: ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL FRIEND WAS THE SNAKE PEOPLE? 392 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:49,907 >> YEAH. ONE OF MY MOM'S BEST FRIENDS, 393 00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:50,842 YEAH. >> Jimmy: REALLY? 394 00:21:50,844 --> 00:21:52,776 ONE OF YOUR MOM'S BEST FRIENDS? >> YEAH. 395 00:21:52,846 --> 00:21:55,646 >> Jimmy: AND I DON'T WANT TO GENERALIZE, BUT TYPICALLY, 396 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:58,983 PEOPLE WHO OWN STRIP CLUBS ARE SCUMBAGS. 397 00:21:58,985 --> 00:21:59,784 >> NO. >> Jimmy: NO? 398 00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:05,123 >> NO, NO. NO, IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR. 399 00:22:05,125 --> 00:22:07,258 THIS IS, YOU KNOW, THIS IS THE HOLLYWOOD OF THE SOUTHWEST. 400 00:22:07,260 --> 00:22:10,328 THIS IS PHOENIX. >> Jimmy: ARE THEY STILL IN THE 401 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:13,198 HOUSE THAT YOU GREW UP IN? >> NO, NO. 402 00:22:13,266 --> 00:22:17,468 THEY SOLD THE HOUSE I GREW UP IN, BUT THEY DID TAKE ALL THE 403 00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:21,272 ARTIFACTS TO MY PARENTS' HOUSE. ACTUALLY, I BROUGHT SOMETHING TO 404 00:22:21,274 --> 00:22:23,407 THE HOTEL TO SHOW YOU KIND OF THEIR VIBE. 405 00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:25,276 >> Jimmy: OH, GREAT. >> IF YOU WANTED TO SEE. 406 00:22:25,278 --> 00:22:26,744 >> Jimmy: WE'D LOVE TO SEE, YEAH. 407 00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:27,879 ABSOLUTELY. >> NOW I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO 408 00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:32,283 KNOW THAT MY GRANDMOTHER WAS OBSESSED WITH ME AND WOULD SORT 409 00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:34,685 OF MAKE ME BE HER MODEL AND PHOTOGRAPH ME. 410 00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:38,555 AND SHE WOULD GIVE ME A PROP LIKE A HAT OR THAT KIND OF 411 00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:39,424 THING. AND THEN PRODUCE SOMETHING LIKE 412 00:22:39,426 --> 00:22:45,963 THIS. CAN YOU SEE THE SIZE OF THIS? 413 00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:48,633 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. >> THIS IS A DEMENTED PHOTO OF A 414 00:22:48,635 --> 00:22:54,838 YOUNG CHILD IN A HAT. AND IT'S TRULY THE SIZE OF A 415 00:22:54,908 --> 00:23:00,311 DOOR. SO WHEN I GO HOME, THIS IS RIGHT 416 00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:05,250 BY THEIR FRONT DOOR. OKAY? 417 00:23:05,318 --> 00:23:08,452 VERY '90s, VERY BLOSSOM. >> Jimmy: YEAH. 418 00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:10,455 >> VERY HAT. >> Jimmy: EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT 419 00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:12,990 IS GOOD. WOW, THAT'S PRETTY -- WILL YOU 420 00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:14,659 BE TAKING THAT HOME OR LEAVING THAT WITH THEM? 421 00:23:14,661 --> 00:23:19,063 >> I THINK I'M GOING TO FLY HOME ON THIS, A MAGIC CARPET. 422 00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:21,733 >> Jimmy: AIDY BRYANT IS WITH US. 423 00:23:21,735 --> 00:23:25,102 "SHRILL" IS ON HULU. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 424 00:23:31,878 --> 00:23:33,477 >>> I DON'T WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER PARTY, YOU KNOW, WHERE 425 00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:36,681 I'M JUST GOING TO BE YOUR WINGMAN AND NOT HAVE ANY FUN. 426 00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:40,418 >> YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS SAY NO, BUT YOU ALWAYS END UP DOING WHAT 427 00:23:40,486 --> 00:23:42,619 I SAY. BUT IF YOU WON'T COME TO KEGS 428 00:23:42,689 --> 00:23:46,224 AND EGG, YOU AT LEAST HAVE TO COME TO THE WRAP PARTY WITH ME. 429 00:23:46,292 --> 00:23:48,292 >> OKAY. >> HEY, GUY. 430 00:23:48,361 --> 00:23:51,095 >> OH MY GOD, YOU LOOK LIKE SUCH A PERSON WITH THIS MUSTACHE. 431 00:23:51,163 --> 00:23:52,897 >> WHAT, I HAD TO DO IT FOR THE PLAY. 432 00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:55,166 >> BUT YOU'RE NOT IN THE PLAY. YOU'RE THE PROP GUY, RIGHT? 433 00:23:55,234 --> 00:24:01,639 >> PROP MASTER. >> Jimmy: THAT IS AIDY BRYANT IN 434 00:24:01,707 --> 00:24:04,575 "SHRILL." AIDY, THIS IS YOUR THIRD AND 435 00:24:04,643 --> 00:24:07,378 FINAL SEASON OF THE SHOW. IS THAT HOW YOU HAD IT PLANNED? 436 00:24:07,380 --> 00:24:11,248 DID YOU DO THREE SEASONS? >> I MEAN, NO. 437 00:24:11,317 --> 00:24:14,985 NOT REALLY. WE WERE REALLY EXCITED. 438 00:24:15,054 --> 00:24:18,856 WE SHOT -- WE WROTE AND SHOT THIS SEASON, AND THEN WE FOUND 439 00:24:18,858 --> 00:24:21,459 OUT KIND OF WHEN WE GOT INTO THE EDITING PROCESS. 440 00:24:21,527 --> 00:24:22,793 THEY'RE LIKE OKAY, THIS IS THE FINAL SEASON. 441 00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:26,197 SO IT WAS THIS WEIRD THING WHERE IT'S NOT WRITTEN TO BE THE END, 442 00:24:26,199 --> 00:24:30,268 BUT IT IS THE END. SO, YOU KNOW, IN EDITING, WE HAD 443 00:24:30,336 --> 00:24:34,538 TO KIND OF BRING THE STORY TO THIS PLACE WHERE IT HAS SOME 444 00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,140 CLOSURE. >> Jimmy: WERE YOU GUYS MAD? 445 00:24:36,209 --> 00:24:41,478 >> YOU KNOW -- [ LAUGHTER ] 446 00:24:41,548 --> 00:24:44,348 >> Jimmy: I WOULD BE LIKE YOU COULDN'T HAVE TOLD ME THIS? 447 00:24:44,417 --> 00:24:47,017 >> JIMMY, I'VE NEVER BEEN MAD A DAY IN MY LIFE. 448 00:24:47,086 --> 00:24:52,223 I'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED ANGER. I'M A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. 449 00:24:52,225 --> 00:24:54,358 BUT I AM IMAGINE THAT OTHERS WERE MAD. 450 00:24:54,427 --> 00:25:00,498 BUT, I MEAN, IN A WEIRD WAY, AS MUCH AS IT PISSED US OFF, IT 451 00:25:00,566 --> 00:25:04,301 ALSO KIND OF GAVE US THIS COOL THING WHICH I FEEL LIKE, YOU 452 00:25:04,370 --> 00:25:07,371 KNOW, THIS SHOW IS ABOUT LIKE A PERSON WHO IS FAT WHO WANTS TO 453 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,775 CHANGE THEIR LIFE AND FIND THEIR OWN CONFIDENCE, BUT NOT CHANGE 454 00:25:10,777 --> 00:25:14,311 THEIR BODY. AND I THINK THAT KIND OF THING, 455 00:25:14,380 --> 00:25:17,181 ESPECIALLY WITH BODY POSITIVITY, THERE IS A LOT OF PRESSURE TO 456 00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:20,651 HAVE IT BE LIKE THIS PERFECT A-PLUS WIN. 457 00:25:20,653 --> 00:25:24,121 SHE IS SELF-CONFIDENT, YOU KNOW. AND BECAUSE WE DIDN'T KNOW, WE 458 00:25:24,123 --> 00:25:26,990 DIDN'T HAVE THAT PRESSURE FROM THE NETWORK OR THE STUDIO TO 459 00:25:27,060 --> 00:25:31,396 GIVE IT THIS LIKE KIND OF CORNY LIKE THIS IS HER FIGHT SONG 460 00:25:31,464 --> 00:25:36,667 ENDING, WE GOT TO END IT IN A MORE BITTERSWEET REALISTIC WAY. 461 00:25:36,735 --> 00:25:37,601 >> Jimmy: GOOD. >> IT'S A JOURNEY. 462 00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:39,070 YEAH. >> Jimmy: THAT'S BETTER. 463 00:25:39,072 --> 00:25:44,008 AND SPEAKING OF JOURNEYS, YOU JUST DID YOUR NINTH SEASON OF 464 00:25:44,010 --> 00:25:45,877 "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," WHICH IS CRAZY. 465 00:25:45,879 --> 00:25:48,346 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: I WOULD HAVE GUESSED 466 00:25:48,414 --> 00:25:52,616 YOU'VE BEEN ON FOR LIKE FOUR OR FIVE YEARS AND JUST KIND OF WENT 467 00:25:52,685 --> 00:25:55,420 BY LIKE THAT. DID IT FEEL LIKE THAT TO YOU? 468 00:25:55,488 --> 00:25:58,956 >> NO. I MEAN, I GOT HIRED WHEN I WAS 469 00:25:58,958 --> 00:26:00,090 25. >> Jimmy: WOW. 470 00:26:00,159 --> 00:26:02,226 >> THAT'S A CHILD. >> Jimmy: WOW. 471 00:26:02,295 --> 00:26:06,230 >> NOW I'M AN OLD WOMAN WHO IS TIRED AND SAD. 472 00:26:06,299 --> 00:26:09,767 >> Jimmy: DO YOU WATCH "THE BACHELORETTE," AIDY? 473 00:26:09,835 --> 00:26:13,905 >> YEAH, I'M NOT AN IDIOT, JIMMY. 474 00:26:13,907 --> 00:26:19,510 I LOVE IT. >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, KATIE IS 475 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:20,711 HERE. IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU WOULD 476 00:26:20,713 --> 00:26:26,050 LIKE ME TO PASS ALONG OR ASK, I'D BE HAPPY TO GET IT. 477 00:26:26,118 --> 00:26:29,319 >> I WOULD SAY, YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS LIKE IT ALWAYS WORKS OUT 478 00:26:29,389 --> 00:26:33,191 FOR THESE COUPLE, AND I'M SURE IT WILL FOR HER AS WELL. 479 00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:38,996 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THE WORST DATE YOU WERE EVER ON? 480 00:26:38,998 --> 00:26:41,131 >> OH, GOD. I'VE GOT LOTS TO CHOOSE FROM. 481 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:45,069 THERE WAS ONE IN COLLEGE. I WENT TO COLLEGE IN CHICAGO, 482 00:26:45,137 --> 00:26:48,472 AND I GOT SET UP KIND OF WITH THIS MAN. 483 00:26:48,541 --> 00:26:54,946 AND HE INVITED ME TO GO TO THE MOST ROMANTIC PLACE IN THE 484 00:26:55,014 --> 00:26:56,414 WORLD, PANERA. >> Jimmy: THAT'S FRENCH, RIGHT? 485 00:26:56,482 --> 00:27:01,352 >> THAT'S RIGHT. WELL, WHEN YOU'RE WORTH IT, YOU 486 00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:07,157 HAVE TO GO. SO I WENT AND GOT SOME SOUP WITH 487 00:27:07,226 --> 00:27:09,026 THIS MAN. AND WHEN THEY CALLED, YOU KNOW, 488 00:27:09,094 --> 00:27:13,096 IT'S NOT A RESTAURANT WHERE THERE IS A WAITER OR WHATEVER. 489 00:27:13,166 --> 00:27:17,167 SO THEY CALL YOUR NUMBER AND YOU GET YOUR SANDWICH AND YOUR SOUP. 490 00:27:17,236 --> 00:27:21,305 AND WHEN WE DID THAT, WE WENT TO SIT AT OUR TABLE, AND THIS MAN 491 00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:25,309 TRIPPED AND HIS SANDWICH EXPLODED AND WENT ALL OVER THE 492 00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:28,245 FLOOR, AND THEN HE WAS SO RATTLED THAT HE WAS BASICALLY IN 493 00:27:28,247 --> 00:27:33,650 TEARS, AND THAT WAS THE DATE. >> Jimmy: WOW. 494 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:39,590 TEARS AT PANERA. WELL, THANKS FOR BEING WITH US. 495 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:41,725 >> IT'S SEX. >> Jimmy: NEXT TIME, IF YOU GET 496 00:27:41,794 --> 00:27:45,395 A CHANCE, I'D LOVE TO SEE THE WHOLE REST OF THE INSIDE OF YOUR 497 00:27:45,465 --> 00:27:46,597 PARENTS' HOUSE. >> YOU GOT IT. 498 00:27:46,666 --> 00:27:50,001 >> Jimmy: IF YOU HAVE YOUR PHONE HANDY WHEN YOU GO OVER THERE FOR 499 00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:54,071 DINNER OR WHATEVER, TAKE SOME VIDEO AND WE'LL REVIEW IT 500 00:27:54,140 --> 00:27:55,339 TOGETHER THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE HERE. 501 00:27:55,341 --> 00:27:56,941 >> YOU GOT IT IT. >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, AIDY 502 00:27:56,943 --> 00:28:00,211 BRYANT. YOU CAN WATCH "SHRILL" ON HULU 503 00:28:00,279 --> 00:28:01,011 NOW. WE'LL BE BACK WITH THE 504 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:07,084 BACHELORETTE KATIE THURSTON. ♪ 505 00:28:12,158 --> 00:28:15,293 >> Jimmy: HI THERE. WELCOME BACK. 506 00:28:15,361 --> 00:28:19,029 JOHN MAYER IS ON THE WAY. I HAVE SOME VERY BIG NEWS. 507 00:28:19,098 --> 00:28:21,965 THE CDC JUST ANNOUNCED IF YOU ARE FULLY VACCINATED, YOU CAN 508 00:28:22,035 --> 00:28:24,768 NOW SAFELY MAKE OUT WITH 30 STRANGERS IN A HOT TUB, WHICH IS 509 00:28:24,837 --> 00:28:27,571 TERRIFIC FOR OUR NEXT GUEST. PLEASE WELCOME THE NEWEST 510 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:41,585 BACHELORETTE, KATIE THURSTON. ♪ 511 00:28:41,654 --> 00:28:42,787 >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW? 512 00:28:42,855 --> 00:28:46,857 >> I MEAN, TODAY IS THE BIG DAY. >> Jimmy: TODAY IS THE BIG DAY. 513 00:28:46,925 --> 00:28:49,192 HAVE YOU SEEN THE SHOW YET? >> I HAVE. 514 00:28:49,262 --> 00:28:50,594 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE? >> YES. 515 00:28:50,662 --> 00:28:52,196 >> Jimmy: WHO DID YOU WATCH IT WITH? 516 00:28:52,264 --> 00:28:54,732 >> MYSELF. >> Jimmy: YOU WATCHED IT ALONE? 517 00:28:54,734 --> 00:28:56,333 >> YES. >> Jimmy: WERE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE 518 00:28:56,335 --> 00:28:58,736 WATCHING YOURSELF ON TELEVISION? >> YEAH. 519 00:28:58,738 --> 00:29:02,072 I'VE NEVER SEEN MYSELF MAKE OUT WITH SO MANY GUYS. 520 00:29:02,141 --> 00:29:04,475 >> Jimmy: WHAT WAS THE MOMENT THAT MADE YOUR SKIN CRAWL THE 521 00:29:04,543 --> 00:29:07,211 MOST? OF ALL THE MOMENTS WE SAW ON 522 00:29:07,279 --> 00:29:09,814 TONIGHT'S SHOW. >> KISSING THE CAT. 523 00:29:09,816 --> 00:29:12,682 >> Jimmy: KISSING THE CAT. BECAUSE YOU REALLY GOT IN THERE. 524 00:29:12,752 --> 00:29:14,418 >> I DID. >> Jimmy: I KNOW. 525 00:29:14,487 --> 00:29:17,621 I GUESS IT'S WEIRD. I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN 526 00:29:17,690 --> 00:29:18,756 VIDEO OF MYSELF KISSING A PERSON. 527 00:29:18,824 --> 00:29:20,825 >> YOU NEVER WANT TO. >> Jimmy: YEAH. 528 00:29:20,893 --> 00:29:23,894 SO YOU REALLY KISSED THE CAT. >> YEAH. 529 00:29:23,963 --> 00:29:26,030 I REALLY ZHAO. >> Jimmy: AND THE FACT YOU SAY 530 00:29:26,098 --> 00:29:28,966 "THE CAT" MAKES ME THINK YOU DIDN'T PICK THE GUY. 531 00:29:29,035 --> 00:29:32,970 >> PEOPLE ARE LEARNING NAMES. I LIKE TO SAY CONNOR THE CAT. 532 00:29:33,039 --> 00:29:36,440 >> Jimmy: CONNOR THE CAT. THERE IS A CONNOR B. 533 00:29:36,509 --> 00:29:38,642 >> AND AN ANDREW, MICHAEL AND MIKE. 534 00:29:38,710 --> 00:29:40,377 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THERE IS A LOT OF PEOPLE WITH NAMES ON THE 535 00:29:40,379 --> 00:29:42,513 SHOW. [ LAUGHTER ] 536 00:29:42,581 --> 00:29:45,449 YOU KNOW, IT'S WEIRD THAT THEY SHOT IT IN ALBUQUERQUE. 537 00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:48,252 I MEAN, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ALBUQUERQUE. 538 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,921 REALLY ALL I KNOW ABOUT IT IS "BREAKING BAD." 539 00:29:50,923 --> 00:29:56,393 YOU'VE NOT BEEN TO THE BACHELOR MANSION AT ALL, EVEN THOUGH 540 00:29:56,462 --> 00:29:57,595 YOU'RE ON TWO RUNS OF THE SHOW. >> YEAH. 541 00:29:57,597 --> 00:30:01,265 >> Jimmy: YOU WOULD THINK OF ALL PLACES THEY KNOW HOW TO 542 00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,533 DISINFECT, IT WOULD BE THAT BACHELOR MANSION. 543 00:30:03,603 --> 00:30:05,936 >> I DON'T KNOW. THE MANSION HAS A BUNCH OF BUNK 544 00:30:06,005 --> 00:30:08,605 BEDS. SO IF YOU PUT ALL THESE PEOPLE 545 00:30:08,674 --> 00:30:11,675 IN ONE ROOM, IT'S NOT IDEAL DURING A PANDEMIC. 546 00:30:11,744 --> 00:30:12,877 >> Jimmy: I GUESS NOT. SO YOU'RE IN ALBUQUERQUE. 547 00:30:12,945 --> 00:30:19,550 YOU'RE WITH ALL THESE GUYS. I MENTIONED IN THE MONOLOGUE 548 00:30:19,618 --> 00:30:21,151 BECAUSE YOU FAMOUSLY SHOWED UP WITH A VIBRATOR WHEN MATT WAS 549 00:30:21,220 --> 00:30:22,219 THE BACHELOR. >> YEAH. 550 00:30:22,288 --> 00:30:25,489 >> Jimmy: HOW HAS THAT AFFECTED YOUR LIFE, BY THE WAY? 551 00:30:25,491 --> 00:30:27,891 IS THAT ALL ANYONE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT NOW? 552 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:31,762 >> PEOPLE SEND ME ENOUGH VIBRATORS TO LAST ME A LIFETIME 553 00:30:31,764 --> 00:30:32,896 NOW. >> Jimmy: THEY DO? 554 00:30:32,965 --> 00:30:36,233 >> I LITERALLY PAY PEOPLE TO WATCH MY CAT IN VIBRATORS. 555 00:30:36,302 --> 00:30:39,770 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH ALL OF THEM. 556 00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,172 >> Jimmy: HOW DO THEY GET TO YOU? 557 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,840 HOW DO THEY KNOW WHERE TO SEND THEM? 558 00:30:43,910 --> 00:30:46,910 >> I HAVE A PO BOX STRICTLY FOR THAT. 559 00:30:46,979 --> 00:30:48,445 >> Jimmy: DO YOU WANT TO GIVE THE NUMBER OUT? 560 00:30:48,514 --> 00:30:49,713 >> I DON'T NEED HIM. I'M GOOD. 561 00:30:49,782 --> 00:30:52,650 >> Jimmy: IN CASE SOMEBODY WANTS TO SELL YOU BATTERIES? 562 00:30:52,718 --> 00:30:53,784 >> NO THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: WILL YOU GIVE THEM AS 563 00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:55,119 GIFTS? >> HAVE I BEEN. 564 00:30:55,121 --> 00:30:59,189 WHEN FRIENDS COME OVER, I OPEN THE BOX, HERE YOU GO, PICK YOUR 565 00:30:59,258 --> 00:31:00,324 PICK. >> Jimmy: FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE, 566 00:31:00,392 --> 00:31:05,396 THAT WOULD BE SUPER CREEPY. BUT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH IT. 567 00:31:05,398 --> 00:31:06,997 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: SO THAT HAPPENED TO 568 00:31:06,999 --> 00:31:08,665 YOU. OR YOU DID THAT. 569 00:31:08,734 --> 00:31:11,468 AND NOW YOU HAVE ALL THESE GUYS COMING TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION ON 570 00:31:11,537 --> 00:31:12,670 YOU. >> OH, YEAH. 571 00:31:12,738 --> 00:31:15,406 >> Jimmy: DID IT FEEL DIFFERENT WHEN YOU'RE ON THE OTHER SIDE? 572 00:31:15,408 --> 00:31:17,608 >> YEAH. I THINK I WAS LESS NERVOUS ON 573 00:31:17,676 --> 00:31:19,610 THE OTHER SIDE. >> Jimmy: OH, YOU WERE? 574 00:31:19,678 --> 00:31:21,278 >> I KIND OF KNEW WHAT TO EXPECT. 575 00:31:21,346 --> 00:31:22,479 >> Jimmy: BECAUSE THEY'RE THE ONES THAT HAVE TO MAKE THE 576 00:31:22,548 --> 00:31:23,814 IMPRESSION. >> EXACTLY. 577 00:31:23,816 --> 00:31:27,818 >> Jimmy: SOME OF THESE GUYS, I MEAN, I KNOW YOU CAN'T SAY ONE 578 00:31:27,886 --> 00:31:30,287 WAY OR THE OTHER. BUT LIKE WHEN A GUY SHOWS UP IN 579 00:31:30,356 --> 00:31:33,958 A BOX, DOES THAT MAKE YOU MORE OR LESS INTERESTED IN HIM? 580 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:35,826 >> I JUST DON'T KNOW WHO IS IN THERE. 581 00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:38,228 THAT MAKES ME SCARED FOR A VERY LONG TIME. 582 00:31:38,297 --> 00:31:38,762 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. THE GUY WHO CAME WITH THE RV. 583 00:31:38,764 --> 00:31:44,167 >> OH. YEAH. 584 00:31:44,237 --> 00:31:46,637 >> Jimmy: HE DIDN'T GET A ROSE. >> THAT WAS JEFF. 585 00:31:46,639 --> 00:31:51,509 >> Jimmy: HIS RV WAS DIRTY. HIS UNDERWEAR WERE ON THE TABLE 586 00:31:51,577 --> 00:31:52,442 OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. >> YEAH. 587 00:31:52,511 --> 00:31:54,578 >> Jimmy: WHAT -- HE IS A PSYCHOPATH. 588 00:31:54,647 --> 00:31:58,782 >> HE IS ALSO THE SKIN SALESMAN. >> Jimmy: AND HE SELLS SKIN. 589 00:31:58,850 --> 00:32:01,785 RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE. >> MIGHT BE THE LEAST WEIRD 590 00:32:01,854 --> 00:32:03,386 THING ABOUT HIM, I GUESS. >> VERY TRUE. 591 00:32:03,456 --> 00:32:06,724 >> Jimmy: SO HE WAS BASICALLY SAYING TO YOU, HEY, THIS IS 592 00:32:06,792 --> 00:32:07,991 WHRE WE'RE GOING TO LIVE. THIS IS OUR HOME. 593 00:32:08,060 --> 00:32:10,995 WE WOULD LIVE IN THIS RV. >> YEAH. 594 00:32:11,063 --> 00:32:12,529 >> Jimmy: AND THAT'S NOT -- YOU DON'T WANT THAT? 595 00:32:12,598 --> 00:32:15,932 >> THAT'S NOT MY FANTASY, NO. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE LOOKING TO BE 596 00:32:16,002 --> 00:32:18,602 IN A HOUSE THAT HAS A CEMENT FOUNDATION. 597 00:32:18,671 --> 00:32:19,203 >> AT LEAST. >> Jimmy: YEAH. 598 00:32:19,271 --> 00:32:20,870 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: OKAY. 599 00:32:20,940 --> 00:32:26,944 NOW YOU HAD TO BREAK UP WITH A LOT OF GUYS ON THIS SHOW. 600 00:32:26,946 --> 00:32:27,744 >> YES. >> Jimmy: HOW MANY GUYS? 601 00:32:27,813 --> 00:32:29,346 AT LEAST 29 GUYS YOU HAD TO DUMP. 602 00:32:29,348 --> 00:32:32,015 HOW MANY GUYS HAVE YOU DUMPED IN THE PAST? 603 00:32:32,084 --> 00:32:36,420 >> LIKE FIVE MAYBE. >> Jimmy: FIVE GUYS. 604 00:32:36,488 --> 00:32:37,621 >> YEAH. IT'S A LOT. 605 00:32:37,623 --> 00:32:41,625 >> Jimmy: THAT'S A LOT. YOU MULTIPLIED THAT BY SIX JUST 606 00:32:41,627 --> 00:32:42,693 IN THIS PROCESS ALONE. >> YEAH. 607 00:32:42,761 --> 00:32:44,028 >> Jimmy: THAT'S GOT TO BE TERRIBLE. 608 00:32:44,030 --> 00:32:47,697 FOR ME, I FEEL LIKE NONE OF IT WILL BE WORTH IT BECAUSE I WOULD 609 00:32:47,767 --> 00:32:49,032 NOT WANT TO GO THROUGH THAT EXPERIENCE. 610 00:32:49,101 --> 00:32:53,771 >> YEAH, I MEAN, BREAKING UP WITH PEOPLE IS NOT EASY. 611 00:32:53,773 --> 00:32:55,105 EVERYONE WAS DID YOU HAVE FUN ON THE SHOW? 612 00:32:55,173 --> 00:32:57,974 BREAKING HEARTS IS NOT FUN. >> Jimmy: LET'S PRACTICE. 613 00:32:58,044 --> 00:33:01,712 SHOW ME HOW YOU BREAK UP WITH ME. 614 00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:03,714 LET ME GET SOME LIGHTING WOULD BE NICE. 615 00:33:03,782 --> 00:33:04,982 SO HERE WE GO. I KEEP THIS UNDER THE DESK IN 616 00:33:04,984 --> 00:33:08,785 CASE OF EMERGENCY. >> OKAY. 617 00:33:08,854 --> 00:33:11,321 >> Jimmy: GO AHEAD. YOU WANT THE TAKE ONE? 618 00:33:11,390 --> 00:33:15,592 >> I'LL HOLD THE ROSE. >> Jimmy: I'LL HAVE MY DRINK. 619 00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:18,328 >> I GO I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I PICKED THIS UP BECAUSE I'M 620 00:33:18,397 --> 00:33:22,599 ACTUALLY NOT GIVING IT TO YOU. >> Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S A TOUGH 621 00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:26,603 START. >> HEY, MATT DID IT TO ME. 622 00:33:26,672 --> 00:33:27,871 SO I LEARNED FROM THE BEST. >> Jimmy: OKAY. 623 00:33:27,940 --> 00:33:31,942 >> I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME ON THIS JOURNEY. 624 00:33:31,944 --> 00:33:36,080 THIS JOURNEY WAS A JOURNEY. AND I JUST DON'T KNOW IF YOU 625 00:33:36,082 --> 00:33:40,217 WERE HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS. >> Jimmy: BUT I WORK HERE. 626 00:33:40,219 --> 00:33:44,421 >> I MEAN, YOU REALLY MADE THE MOST DRAMATIC SEASON YET. 627 00:33:44,490 --> 00:33:48,492 >> Jimmy: UH-HUH. >> AND AFTER FANTASY SUITES, YOU 628 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,095 LEFT ME VERY DISAPPOINTED. SO I THINK -- 629 00:33:51,163 --> 00:34:05,909 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I'M A VERY POOR LOSER. 630 00:34:05,978 --> 00:34:07,577 >> SO IT'S TIME YOU SAY YOUR GOODBYES. 631 00:34:07,646 --> 00:34:08,779 >> Jimmy: AND THEN I SAY GOODBYE? 632 00:34:08,781 --> 00:34:11,649 >> YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. >> Jimmy: BYE, EVERYBODY. 633 00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:15,853 GOOD NIGHT. THERE YOU GO. 634 00:34:15,855 --> 00:34:20,924 THAT WAS VERY WELL DONE. YOU HANDLED IT GENTLY. 635 00:34:20,992 --> 00:34:23,927 AND ALL RIGHT. YOU READY FOR WHO MY WIFE PICKED 636 00:34:23,996 --> 00:34:27,064 FOR YOU, THE FINAL FOUR? >> HOLD ON. 637 00:34:27,066 --> 00:34:30,200 LET ME GET MY GAME FACE ON. >> GET YOUR GAME FACE ON BECAUSE 638 00:34:30,269 --> 00:34:33,337 YOU CAN'T REVEAL ANYTHING. BUT WE'RE GOING TO BE WATCHING 639 00:34:33,339 --> 00:34:36,206 YOU VERY, VERY CLOSELY. >> ALL RIGHT. 640 00:34:36,275 --> 00:34:40,411 >> Jimmy: YOUR FINAL FOUR -- THANK YOU, JOHN. 641 00:34:40,413 --> 00:34:44,481 ANDREW S. ANDREW IS A FOOTBALL PLAYER FROM 642 00:34:44,550 --> 00:34:48,552 VIENNA, AUSTRIA. OOH, VERY EXOTIC. 643 00:34:48,620 --> 00:34:51,888 SUPER CLOSE TO HIS 94-YEAR-OLD GRANDMA. 644 00:34:51,957 --> 00:34:55,092 HE SEEMS FUN. ALL THE GUYS LIKE HIM. 645 00:34:55,094 --> 00:34:58,562 HE DID THAT TERRIBLE ACCENT, BUT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS KIND OF 646 00:34:58,630 --> 00:35:02,633 FUNNY. HE WILL BE IN YOUR FINAL FOUR. 647 00:35:02,701 --> 00:35:04,902 OH, YOU SAY YES. >> I'M LISTENING. 648 00:35:04,970 --> 00:35:09,038 >> Jimmy: NO, YOU NODDED. JUSTIN. 649 00:35:09,108 --> 00:35:11,442 >> MMM. >> Jimmy: FROM BALTIMORE. 650 00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:13,110 HE IS AN ARTIST. HE IS NOT BAD. 651 00:35:13,178 --> 00:35:16,447 HE PAINTED YOU A ROSE. YOU SEEM INTO HIM. 652 00:35:16,449 --> 00:35:18,849 HE IS HANDSOME. HE'S GOT A SMOKIN' BODY. 653 00:35:18,851 --> 00:35:26,990 >> YEAH. THIS MUSIC! 654 00:35:26,992 --> 00:35:28,725 >> Jimmy: CONNOR B., THE CAT GUY. 655 00:35:28,794 --> 00:35:36,600 MATH TEACHER, MUSICIAN. YOU GAVE HIM -- YOU FRENCHED THE 656 00:35:36,668 --> 00:35:39,602 HELL OUT OF HIM. YOU GAVE HIM A DOUBLE THUMBS-UP 657 00:35:39,672 --> 00:35:41,004 WHEN HE GOT OUT OF THE LIMO. >> UH-HUH. 658 00:35:41,006 --> 00:35:45,476 >> Jimmy: YOUR THUMBS WERE SAYING WHAT YOUR MOUTH WOULDN'T. 659 00:35:45,544 --> 00:35:51,281 AND NUMBER FOUR WHO WE BELIEVE WILL BE YOUR PICK IS -- YOU 660 00:35:51,349 --> 00:35:55,352 CAN'T EVEN LOOK, CAN YOU? >> I SEE GREG ON THAT. 661 00:35:55,421 --> 00:35:57,020 >> Jimmy: IT'S GREG. GREG WANTS A FAMILY. 662 00:35:57,088 --> 00:35:58,222 HE'S GOT NIECES AND FESTIVE YOUS. 663 00:35:58,224 --> 00:36:01,224 HE BROUGHT YOU A NOODLE NECKLACE. 664 00:36:01,293 --> 00:36:04,361 YOU SAID HE LOOKS LIKE MY EX-BOYFRIEND, WHICH IS 665 00:36:04,363 --> 00:36:06,363 INTERESTING. YOU GAVE HIM THE FIRST 666 00:36:06,431 --> 00:36:09,299 IMPRESSION ROSE. HISTORICALLY, THAT IS VERY, VERY 667 00:36:09,301 --> 00:36:11,502 IMPORTANT. AND EVEN THOUGH HE LOOKS HIGH 668 00:36:11,570 --> 00:36:17,374 ALL THE TIME, WE BELIEVE GREG WILL BE YOUR BACHELOR. 669 00:36:17,443 --> 00:36:22,713 >> OKAY. [ APPLAUSE ] 670 00:36:22,781 --> 00:36:24,248 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT? >> YOU DID GOOD. 671 00:36:24,250 --> 00:36:26,917 >> Jimmy: AND AT THE END, COME BACK AND WE'LL REVIEW THE TAPE 672 00:36:26,919 --> 00:36:29,987 AND WE'LL SEE WHAT YOUR POKER FACE IS LIKE. 673 00:36:29,989 --> 00:36:32,255 WE'LL SEE IF YOU HAVE ANY TELLS. >> I HOPE NOT. 674 00:36:32,324 --> 00:36:33,256 >> Jimmy: WELL, HAVE FUN. >> THANK YOU. 675 00:36:33,325 --> 00:36:34,391 >> Jimmy: IT'S GREAT TO MEET YOU. 676 00:36:34,393 --> 00:36:41,799 THIS IS OUR BACHELORETTE, KATIE, KATIE THURSTON, THE 677 00:36:41,867 --> 00:36:44,668 BACHELORETTE, MONDAY NIGHT AT 8:00 ON ABC. 678 00:36:44,670 --> 00:36:55,612 WE'LL BE BACK WITH JOHN MAYER. >>> THE JIMMY KIMMEL CONCERT 679 00:36:55,614 --> 00:36:56,680 SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES-BENZ. 680 00:36:56,748 --> 00:36:59,682 THE BEST OR NOTHING. >> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO 681 00:36:59,752 --> 00:37:02,419 LIKE THIS GUY. THIS IS HIS NEW ALBUM. 682 00:37:02,421 --> 00:37:07,491 IT'S CALLED "SOB ROCK." IT COMES OUT IN ITS ENTIRETY ON 683 00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:08,358 JULY 16th. THIS SONG IS CALLED "LAST TRAIN 684 00:37:08,427 --> 00:37:11,928 HOME." JOHN MAYER! 685 00:37:25,377 --> 00:37:35,718 ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANNA ROLL ME 686 00:37:35,788 --> 00:37:43,192 THEN YOU GOTTA ROLL ME ALL NIGHT LONG ♪ 687 00:37:43,262 --> 00:37:47,798 ♪ AND IF YOU WANNA USE ME THEN YOU GOTTA USE ME 688 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:56,940 TIL I'M GONE ♪ ♪ I'M NOT A FALLEN ANGEL 689 00:37:57,009 --> 00:38:00,677 I JUST FELL BEHIND I'M OUT OF LUCK 690 00:38:00,746 --> 00:38:06,216 AND I'M OUT OF TIME ♪ ♪ IF YOU DON'T 691 00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:09,286 WANNA LOVE ME LET ME GO ♪ 692 00:38:09,354 --> 00:38:13,090 ♪ I'M RUNNIN FOR THE LAST TRAIN 693 00:38:13,158 --> 00:38:25,636 I'M RUNNIN FOR THE LAST TRAIN HOME ♪ 694 00:38:25,704 --> 00:38:31,575 ♪ IF YOU WANNA KNOW ME THEN YOU GOTTA KNOW ME 695 00:38:31,577 --> 00:38:35,913 THROUGH AND THROUGH ♪ ♪ AND IF YOU'RE 696 00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:39,449 GONNA HURT ME THEN YOU GOTTA 697 00:38:39,451 --> 00:38:46,990 HOLD ME NEXT TO YOU ♪ ♪ NO MATTER 698 00:38:47,059 --> 00:38:51,862 HOW YOU WORK IT THINGS GO WRONG ♪ 699 00:38:51,864 --> 00:38:57,000 ♪ I PUT MY HEART WHERE IT DON'T BELONG 700 00:38:57,069 --> 00:39:02,472 SO IF YOU'RE COMIN WITH ME LET ME KNOW ♪ 701 00:39:02,541 --> 00:39:04,674 ♪ MAYBE YOU'RE THE LAST TRAIN 702 00:39:04,743 --> 00:39:06,677 MAYBE YOU'RE THE LAST TRAIN HOME ♪ 703 00:39:06,679 --> 00:39:10,347 ♪ I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN 704 00:39:10,415 --> 00:39:13,083 I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN ♪ 705 00:39:13,151 --> 00:39:18,221 ♪ AND I SURRENDER AND I SURRENDER ♪ 706 00:39:18,290 --> 00:39:20,824 ♪ I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN 707 00:39:20,826 --> 00:39:24,027 I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN ♪ 708 00:39:24,095 --> 00:39:29,766 ♪ AND I SURRENDER AND I SURRENDER ♪ 709 00:39:29,768 --> 00:39:31,234 ♪ I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN 710 00:39:31,236 --> 00:39:35,372 I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN ♪ 711 00:39:35,374 --> 00:39:39,042 ♪ AND I SURRENDER AND I SURRENDER ♪ 712 00:39:39,111 --> 00:39:40,577 ♪ I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN 713 00:39:40,645 --> 00:39:43,380 I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN ♪ 714 00:39:43,382 --> 00:39:51,054 ♪ AND I SURRENDER AND I SURRENDER ♪ 715 00:39:51,123 --> 00:39:52,522 ♪ I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN 716 00:39:52,591 --> 00:39:53,723 I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN ♪ 717 00:39:53,792 --> 00:39:59,195 ♪ AND I SURRENDER AND I SURRENDER ♪ 718 00:39:59,264 --> 00:39:59,930 ♪ I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN 719 00:39:59,932 --> 00:40:07,537 I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN ♪ 720 00:40:09,007 --> 00:40:28,558 ♪ >>> THE JIMMY KIMMEL CONCERT 721 00:40:28,627 --> 00:40:31,495 SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES-BENZ. 722 00:40:31,563 --> 00:40:33,897 THE BEST OR NOTHING. >> Jimmy: WELL, YOU STAYED UP 723 00:40:34,966 --> 00:40:36,165 TOO LATE FOR A MONDAY, BUT I'M GLAD YOU DID. 724 00:40:36,235 --> 00:40:39,235 I WANT TO THANK AIDY BRYANT, KATIE THURSTON, JOHN MAYER, AND 725 00:40:39,304 --> 00:40:44,107 KAITLYN, TOO. OUR ONLY AUDIENCE MEMBER. 726 00:40:44,175 --> 00:40:49,245 APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. TOMORROW NIGHT, LOKI IS WITH US. 727 00:40:49,314 --> 00:40:50,313 TOM HIDDLESTON AND MAYA ERSKINE AND ANNA KONKLE 728 00:40:50,382 --> 00:40:52,448 FROM "PEN 15," AND MUSIC FROM CHIIILD. 729 00:40:52,518 --> 00:40:52,716 "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING, 730 00:40:52,784 --> 00:41:00,223 GOODNIGHT.