>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!"
TONIGHT -- AIDY BRYANT, "THE BACHELORETTE"
KATIE THURSTON, AND MUSIC FROM JOHN MAYER.
AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! >> Jimmy: HI THERE.
I AM JIMMY. I'M THE HOST.
THANKS FOR WATCHING. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US IN
LOS ANGELES WHERE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD, JUST A COUPLE
HOURS UP THE ROAD IN SANTA BARBARA, A ROYAL BABY ARRIVED ON
U.S. SOIL THIS WEEKEND. MEGHAN MARKLE GAVE BIRTH TO A
BEAUTIFUL AND HEALTHY FUTURE OPRAH INTERVIEW.
HARRY AND MEGHAN HAD A GIRL. HER NAME IS LILIBET, AS IN, "I
LILI BET NO ONE AT STARBUCKS WILL BE ABLE TO SPELL HER NAME
ON THE CUP." THE BABY'S FULL NAME IS
LILIBET DIANA MOUNTBATTEN-WINDSOR.
THE ONLY WAY THAT NAME COULD BE MORE BRITISH IS IF THEY SQUEEZED
THE WORDS "CUCUMBER SANDWICH" IN LILIBET DIANA MOUNTBATTEN
CUCUMBER SANDWICH WINDSOR COLLYWOBBLES.
SO CONGRATULATIONS TO THE ROYAL FAMILY.
AFTER ALL THAT WENT ON, YOU THINK THEY'LL SEND A GIFT?
DO YOU THINK THE QUEEN IS ON AMAZON RIGHT NOW TRYING TO
FIGURE OUT HOW TO SHIP A BABY BJORN TO SANTA BARBARA?
NOT ONLY DO WE HAVE A NEW ROYAL BABY, WE HAVE A NEW SEASON OF
"THE BACHELORETTE." IT WAS BACHELORETTE PREMIERE
NIGHT HERE ON ABC. THIS SEASON, THE ACTION HAPPENS
IN AMERICA'S MOST ROMANTIC CITY, ALBUQUERQUE.
[ LAUGHTER ] OH, DOESN'T THAT SOUND LOVELY
RIGHT NOW? TONIGHT, KATIE GOT TO MEET ALL
THE GUYS. SHE SAID, "I FEEL LIKE BEING THE
BACHELORETTE MEANS I CAN FALL IN LOVE AND START A FAMILY."
WELL, I FEEL LIKE MAYBE KATIE HASN'T SEEN THE SHOW.
I'LL ASK HER LATER. BACHELORETTE KATIE IS HERE
IN-STUDIO. MY WIFE HAS BEEN WORKING HARD ON
HER PREDICTION FOR WHO KATIE WILL PICK.
SHE HAS CORRECTLY CHOSEN NINE OUT OF THE LAST 12 WINNERS ON
"THE BACHELOR" AND "BACHELORETTE."
IF YOU CAN CALL THEM WINNERS. HER REPUTATION IS ON THE LINE.
TONIGHT WE WILL RUN HER PICK BY KATIE AND IF THEY'RE BOTH ON THE
SAME PAGE, WE DON'T HAVE TO WATCH IT THIS YEAR.
WOULDN'T THAT BE GREAT? THINK OF ALL THE TIME WE COULD
SAVE. ALSO WITH US, YOU KNOW, EVERY
WEEK FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS, WE'VE BEEN INVITING ONE PERSON
TO SIT IN OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE. WE STILL CAN'T HAVE A ROOMFUL OF
PEOPLE HERE, SO WE BRING IN ONE FULLY VACCINATED AUDIENCE PERSON
AND OUR FVAM TONIGHT IS SITTING RIGHT HERE.
PLEASE SAY HELLO TO KAITLYN. WELCOME, KAITLYN.
THANKS FOR COMING. I HEAR YOU'RE A BIG FAN OF "THE
BATCH COLOR AND "BACHELORETTE". >> I AM TRULY OBSESSED.
IT'S ALMOST EMBARRASSING. I'M HERE TONIGHT.
IT'S CLEARLY WORTH IT TO BE OBSESSED WITH IT BECAUSE I'M
SITTING IN THIS SHARE WITH JIMMY KIMMEL.
>> Jimmy: CLOSE ENOUGH, RIGHT? I HEAR YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL
WRESTLER. THAT TRUE?
>> I AM. IT'S SURPRISINGBECAUSE I'M
5'1", BUT I'M FEISTY AS HELL. CAN I SAY HELL?
>> Jimmy: YES. >> I'M WITH WOW, WOMEN OF
WRESTLING. >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> YEAH. I COULD BODY SLAM YOU, JIMMY, IF
YOU WANT. >> Jimmy: MAYBE IN THE SHOW THAT
WOULD BE FUN. >> ALL RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: OF ALL THE BACHELORS AND BACHELORETTES, IF YOU COULD
WRESTLE ONE OF THEM, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
>> I THINK I HAVE TO SAY JUAN PABLO.
>> Jimmy: OH, JUAN PABLO. >> ONCE I THROW HIM TO THE
GROUND, I'M GOING SAY "IT'S NOT OKAY."
YOU KNOW? >> Jimmy: I LIKE THAT.
>> IT'S NOT OKAY. >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU SEEN
TONIGHT'S EPISODE OF "THE BACHELORETTE"?
>> I HAVE. I'M VERY EXCITED.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE EXCITED? >> YES.
I'M OBSESSED. I HAVE MY TOP FOUR.
I CAN RIVAL YOUR WIFE, MAYBE. >> Jimmy: IT WILL BE INTERESTING
TO SEE YOU GO HEAD TO HEAD. MAYBE YOU AND MY WIFE COULD
WRESTLE. >> BRING IT, BRING IT!
>> Jimmy: THAT WOULD BE FUN. MY WIFE IS NOT A PHYSICALLY
VIOLENT PERSON. WHEN OUR 4-YEAR-OLD COMES AT
HER, SHE GOES AHH! >> WELL, I LOOK SIMILAR TO A
4-YEAR-OLD. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, EVERY TIME MY WIFE PICKS ONE OF THESE BACHELORS, I
FEEL LIKE SHE IS PICKING A GUY FOR HERSELF.
>> IT'S TRUE. >> Jimmy: NEW BACHELORETTE
KATIE, YOU MAY REMEMBER LAST SEASON SHE WAS ON "THE
BACHELOR." SHE PRESENTED MATT, THE BACHELOR
WITH A SEX TOY ON NIGHT ONE. AND IT DIDN'T WORK BECAUSE HE
DIDN'T PICK HER. BUT BECAUSE SHE DID SOMETHING
UNUSUAL, A LOT OF THE GUYS WHO SHOWED UP TO WOO HER DID TOO.
ONE OF THEM ARRIVED GIFT-WRAPPED IN A BOX.
ONE GUY CAME IN A DODGE RAM WITH A BALL PIT IN THE BACK.
HE HAD THE WHOLE BED OF HIS TRUCK FILLED WITH COLORED BALLS
LIKE A TRUCK E. CHEESE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
ANOTHER GUY SHOWED UP IN AN RV. AND TOLD HER HE LIVES IN IT.
HE DID NOT GET A ROSE. A SUITOR NAMED CONNOR B.
DRESSED UP AS A CAT BECAUSE KATIE LOVES CATS.
AND SOMEHOW, THIS ACTUALLY WORKED BECAUSE THESE TWO MADE
OUT LIKE HE WAS LAPPING UP A BOWL OF MILK.
>> YOU'RE DOING AWESOME. >> IT'S FUN.
>> I'M HOPING I DON'T GET MY WHISKERS ON YOU.
OH MY GOD, I GOT IT ON YOU! >> Jimmy: IT'S A GOOD REMINDER.
DON'T FORGET TO SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS, FOLKS.
IT'S KIND OF WEIRD BECAUSE THIS IS THE FIRST NEW SEASON WITHOUT
CHRIS HARRISON AS THE HOST, WHICH I'M NOT SURE THE SHOW IS
EVEN LEGAL WITHOUT CHRIS IN THERE.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S BINDING. A PAIR OF FORMER BACHELORETTES
STEPPED IN TO CO-HOST. TAYSHIA AND KAITLYN HELPED THE
GANG TONIGHT, SET AN ALL-TIME RECORD FOR MOST OMGs IN A SINGLE
EVENING OF TELEVISION. >> OH, MY GOSH.
>> OH MY GOD! >> OH MY GOD.
>> OH, MY GOSH. >> OH, MY GOSH.
>> OH MY GOD.
>> OH MY GOD! >> OH, MY GOSH!
>> OH MY GOD. >> OH, MY GOSH.
>> OH MY GOD! >> OH MY GOD.
>> OH, MY GOSH! >> OH MY GOD.
>> OH MY GOD!
>> OH, MY GOSH. >> OH MY GOD.
>> OH, MY GOSH. >> OH, MY GOSH.
>> OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
OH, MY GOSH.
>> OH, MY GOSH. >> OH, MY GOSH.
>> OH MY GOD! >> I'M SORRY.
>> OH, MY GOSH! >> CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
>> OH MY GOD! >> OH, MY GOSH.
>> OH MY GOD! >> Jimmy: WELL, I HAVE SOME VERY
BAD NEWS. GOD ABANDONED THIS SHOW 15
SEASONS AGO. SO KATIE WILL BE HERE LATER TO
JOIN ME IN PRAYER. DONALD TRUMP IS TAKING THE OLD
ROUTINE BACK ON THE ROAD. FIBERACE DID 90 MINUTES OF
MOSTLY OLD MATERIAL AT THE NORTH CAROLINA STATE GOP
CONVENTION IN GREENVILLE ON SATURDAY, AFTER WHICH THERE WAS
TALK ONLINE THAT HE MAY HAVE SUFFERED A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION
SPECIFICALLY INVOLVING HIS PANTS, WHICH SOME BELIEVED WERE
ON BACKWARDS. >> WOW, MR. PRESIDENT, THANK YOU
SO MUCH. GO BACK TO 2016, I WAS IN A
17-WAY RACE AND WON THAT PRIMARY AND GOT HERE.
I WAS BUSINESS GUY THAT NEVER RAN FOR OFFICE.
>> Jimmy: SOME PEOPLE THOUGHT THEY SAW A FLY THERE.
POOR MIKE PENCE DIDN'T KNOW WHICH END TO KISS!
IT WAS VERY CONFUSING. THENTHERE WAS A DETAILED ONLINE
INVESTIGATION. YOU KNOW, USUALLY IF YOU GOT
THIS CLOSE TO TRUMP'S CROTCH, HE'D PAY YOU $130,000.
BUT IT TURNS OUT, IT WAS JUST A REVOLTING ILLUSION
THAT RESULTED IN THESE HILARIOUS HEADLINES.
"NO, TRUMP DIDN'T WEAR HIS PANTS BACKWARDS AT THAT NORTH CAROLINA
RALLY." "ACTUALLY, TRUMP WAS NOT WEARING
HIS PANTS BACKWARD AT A WEEKEND RALLY."
"TRUMP SUCCESSFULLY WORE PANTS CORRECTLY AT RALLY."
WELL GOOD FOR YOU. IMAGINE BEING THE FACT CHECKER
THAT GOT THAT CALL? "HEY STEVE, I KNOW IT'S SATURDAY
NIGHT, BUT UH, CAN YOU CHECK TO SEE IF RONALD McDINGBAT PUT HIS
PANTS ON BACKWARDS OR NOT?" "THANKS.
HOW'S SARAH? OH, OH, VERY SORRY TO WAKE YOU
GUYS UP. BACKWARDS SEEMING PANTS SEEM TO
BE A PROBLEM FOR REPUBLICAN POLITICIANS IN GENERAL.
FOR INSTANCE, FORMER GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE.
IT LOOKS LIKE HE TRIED SNEAKING A MEATLOAF INTO THE GAME.
SENATE MINORITY LEADER MITCH McCONNELL IN A PAIR OF
STARCHED-UP BLUE JEANS. THIS TRADITION GOES BACK QUITE A
LONG WAY. THERE'S RONALD REAGAN IN A PAIR
OF SWEATPANTS ONLY A KANYE COULD LOVE.
AND OF COURSE RUDY GIULIANI JUST KIND OF CHECKING TO MAKE SURE
IT'S ALL STILL THERE. DIGGING THROUGH HIS
UNDER-ROODYS. AS FOR TRUMP, HE HAD NOT SPOKEN
IN FRONT OF A CROWD SINCE FEBRUARY, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO
GIVING HIS BASE SOMETHING TO RALLY AROUND, YOU'D NEVER KNOW
IT, HE HASN'T MISSED A BEAT! >> GOING TO TAKE BACK OUR
COUNTRY AND WE'RE GOING TO TAKE IT BACK AT A LEVEL THAT IS VERY,
VERY GOOD. >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT.
GOING TO BE THE BEST GOOD ANYONE HAS EVER SEEN.
TRUMP TOUCHED ON A VARIETY OF SUBJECTS, INCLUDING YOU'LL NEVER
GUESS WHAT. >> WE'RE GOING HAVE A TREMENDOUS
2022, JUST LIKE WE DID, FRANKLY, 2020.
THINK OF IT. MORE VOTES THAN ANY SITTING
PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES BY FAR.
WE HAD A GREAT ELECTION. BAD THINGS HAPPENED, BUT WE HAD
A GREAT ELECTION. >> Jimmy: THAT SHOULD BE THE
TITLE OF HIS BOOK, "BAD THINGS HA
HAPPENED. "
AND THIS WAS WEIRD, APPARENTLY, IN BETWEEN GOLFING AND
CONSPIRACY THEORY SPREADING, THE FORMER PRESIDENT HAS BEEN
WATCHING OUR SHOW AND DISCUSSING IT WITH THE MYPILLOW MAN.
>> LINDELL WAS RECENTLY ON JIMMY KIMMEL.
IT DID NOT GO WELL. LINDELL TOLD ME TRUMP CALLED HIM
AFTER THAT APPEARANCE TO TELL HIM HOW WELL HE DID.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE TRUMP WISHES HE HAD BEEN ON KIMMEL.
SAD. >> Jimmy: WHAT'S SAD ABOUT THAT?
I THINK I MIGHT BE OFFENDED. THIS WAS A SHOCKER, FOX NEWS
DIDN'T EVEN SHOW TRUMP'S SPEECH. TAT'S LIKE IF TBS PASSED ON A
NEW EPISODE OF "BIG BANG THEORY."
IT'S UNHEARD OF. BUT DONALD DID CATCH UP WITH HIS
FOX FRIENDS IN GREENVILLE TO WEIGH IN ON WHETHER IF HE DOES
DECIDE TO RUN, WHICH HE WILL, WILL HE DO IT WITH MIKE PENCE.
>> YEAH, I THINK I WAS DISAPPOINTED ON ONE ACCOUNT.
BUT THAT WAS A CHOICE THAT MIKE MADE.
AND I WANT PEOPLE TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS.
AND HE DID. AND YOU KNOW, MIKE AND I HAVE A
GOOD RELATIONSHIP. WE CONTINUE TO HAVE A GOOD.
BUT IT'S TOO EARLY TO BE DISCUSSING RUNNING MATES.
>> Jimmy: CELLMATES MAYBE, BUT TOO EARLY FOR RUNNING MATES.
THAT LITTLE LUMP OF A TRUMP MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE IS BUSY
STIRRING UP A CAULDRON FULL OF GARBAGE.
KLAN MOM SENT A LETTER TO PRESIDENT BIDEN DEMANDING THAT
HE ANSWER A LIST OF QUESTIONS ABOUT COVID.
INCLUDING THE FOLLOWING, "IS THERE EVIDENCE THAT
COVID-19 IS A BIOWEAPON?" "WHO FUNDED THE WUHAN INSTITUTE
OF VIROLOGY RESEARCH OF CORONAVIRUSES?"
"WHAT ROLE DID THE NIH, SPECIFICALLY DR. ANTHONY FAUCI
PLAY?" I GUESS SHE FORGOT THAT THIS ALL
HAPPENED WHEN TRUMP WAS PRESIDENT.
"WE REMAIN CONVINCED THAT DR. FAUCI MISLED THE AMERICAN
PUBLIC REGARDING THE ORIGINS, TRANSMISSION, AND MORTALITY OF
THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC." "WE URGE YOUR ADMINISTRATION TO
ACT TO PROVIDE US WITH THESE ANSWERS BY JUNE 31, 2021."
NOW I CAN HEAR SOME OF YOU LIBERAL FACT CHECKERS LAUGHING,
SAYING, WELL, JUNE ONLY HAS 30 DAYS.
THERE IS NO JUNE 31st. BUT THAT'S WHAT BIG CALENDAR
WANTS YOU TO THINK! HAVE TO BE OPEN.
NO TWO MARJORIE TAYLOR GREEN COMMENTS MAKES SENSE WHEN YOU
PUT THEM SIDE BY SIDE. HER MESSAGE, ON ONE SIDE IT'S
"CHINA CREATED A VIRUS THAT KILLED ALMOST 600,000
AMERICANS." AND THE OTHER IS "I REFUSE TO
WEAR A MASK." VACCINATION RATES ARE DOWN
ACROSS THE COUNTRY, SO MUCH SO THAT THEY SAY WE MAY NOT HIT THE
PRESIDENT'S GOAL OF HAVING 70% OF AMERICANS AT LEAST
PARTIALLY VACCINATED BY THE 4TH OF JULY.
NOT SURPRISINGLY, THE LEAST VACCINATED STATES ARE TENNESSEE,
ARKANSAS, LOUISIANA, ALABAMA, AND MISSISSIPPI.
I FEEL LIKE THEY ARE BAD INFLUENCES ON EACH OTHER.
MAYBE WE NEED TO BREAK THEM UP, LIKE THEY DO IN SCHOOL WHEN THE
DISRUPTIVE KIDS. TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO GET THEIR
SHOTS, OFFICIALS IN WEST VIRGINIA ARE OFFERING INCENTIVES
LIKE CASH, GUNS, AND TRUCKS. IT'S LIKE A SHOWCASE ON THE
PRICE IS WHITE. AND ONE REASON FOR THIS ANTI-VAX
SENTIMENT IS YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE LIKE PASTOR/CONSPIRACY THEORIST
RICK WILES SPREADING THE GOSPEL OF MISINFORMATION.
>> I'M GOING TO SURVIVE A GLOBAL GENOCIDE.
THE ONLY GOOD THING THAT WILL COME OUT OF THIS IS A LOT OF
STUPID PEOPLE WILL BE KILLED OFF.
>> Jimmy: WELL, GUESS WHAT? THIS WEEK PASTOR WILES WAS
HOSPITALIZED WITH COVID-19. SO I GUESS HE WAS HALF RIGHT.
HE IS BELIEVED TO HAVE INFECTED TEN PEOPLE, MOSTLY FAMILY AND
MEMBERS OF HIS STAFF, MANY OF THEY RELEASED A STATEMENT.
HE SAID "THIS WAS A FULL FRONTAL HIT FROM HELL ON YOUR TRUNEWS
FAMILY." GUILLERMO, IT WAS A FULL-FRONTAL
HIT FROM HELL ON OUR TRUNEWS FAMILY.
WE SHOULD PROBABLY SEND SOUP. >> Guillermo: YEAH, MAYBE.
>> Jimmy: JEFF BEZOS, AS HE TRANSFORMS INTO FULL SUPER
VILLAIN, HE IS LAUNCHING SOMETHING NEW, AND THAT
SOMETHING IS HIMSELF. NEXT MONTH, HIS SPACE COMPANY
BLUE ORIGIN IS GOING TO LAUNCH THEIR FIRST FLIGHT.
AND YOU KNOW WHO'S GOING ALONG FOR THE RIDE?
JEFF HIMSELF WILL BE IN THE SHIP.
HE'LL TAKE THE TRIP WITH HIS BROTHER MARK.
MARK BEZOS LOOKS LIKE THE ACTOR YOU WOULD HIRE TO PLAY JEFF
BEZOS IN THE AM DESIGN PRIME MINISERIES ABOUT THIS.
I KNOW THE REAL REASON JEFF BEZOS WANTS TO GO INTO
SPACE, IT'S SO HE CAN SEE EVERYTHING HE OWNS.
JUNE, THE MONTH OF JUNE IF YOU DON'T KNOW IS PRIDE MONTH.
FOR THOSE IN THE LGBTQ PLUS COMMUNITY THIS MONTH FOR
CELEBRATION. AND FOR STRAIGHT MEN LIKE ME
IT'S A MONTH OF REMINDING WE ARE NOT IN VERY GOOD SHAPE
PHYSICALLY AT ALL. THIS IS A TRICKY MONTH FOR SOME
MAJOR CORPORATIONS. NOWADAYS, YOU CAN'T SEPARATE
YOUR BUSINESS FROM THINGS LIKE EVENT LIKE PRIDE MONTH.
YOU HAVE TO MAKE A STATEMENT, WHICH IT HAS BECOME OBVIOUS IS
EASIER FOR SOME COMPANIES THAN OTHERS.
>> AT BASS PRO SHOP, WE KNOW THAT THE GREAT OUTDOORS IS A
PLACE WE CAN ALL SHARE. WHETHER IT BE A CAMPING TRIP
WITH YOUR KIDS OR A FISHING TRIP WITH YOUR LOVER.
IT'S TIME TO HIT THE TRAIL. THIS PRIDE MONTH WE'RE
CELEBRATING THOSE WHO LOVE THE OUTDOORS AND MEMBERS OF THE SAME
SEX. HELL, FOR ALL WE KNOW, THERE
COULD BE FISH THAT ARE GAY. I'M TALKING TO YOU, RAINBOW
TROUT. WHATEVER TWO CONSENTING ADULTS
WANT TO DO IN A 9 BY 9 SUN DOME COLLMAN TENT IS THEIR BUSINESS.
AND IF THEY ONLY NEED ONE MARMOT DOWN SLEEPING BAG BETWEEN THEM,
THAT'S OKAY WITH US. BASS PRO SHOPS.
WE'RE STILL TRYING TO FIGURE THIS WHOLE THING OUT.
>> Jimmy: GOOD FOR THEM. HEY, WE'VE GOT A GOOD SHOW FOR
YOU TONIGHT. THE NEW BACHELORETTE,
KATIE IS WITH US. WE HAVE MUSIC FROM JOHN MAYER.
AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH AIDY BRYANT.
♪ ♪
>> HI THERE. TONIGHT WE WELCOME A BRAND-NEW
BACHELORETTE, KATIE THURSTON IS HERE.
THEN LATER, THIS GUY. HE IS A GREAT, GREAT GUITAR
PLAYER. HE IS A SEVEN-TIME GRAMMY
WINNER. HIS NEW ALBUM IS CALLED "SOB
ROCK." THE WHOLE SHEBANG COMES OUT
JULY 16TH. MUSIC FROM JOHN MAYER.
THIS WEEK, WE'VE GOT NEW SHOWS WITH LIAM NEESON,
TOM HIDDLESTON, WHO IS LOKI, WIZ KHALIFA, JAMES PATTERSON, AND
PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON. AND WE WILL HAVE MUSIC FROM
CHILD, T-PAIN AND KEHLANI, AND JACKSON BROWNE TOO.
PLEASE JOIN US FOR EVERY BIT OF THAT.
LAST MONTH, OUR FIRST GUEST LAST MONTH, OUR FIRST GUEST
WRAPPED HER NINTH SEASON OF "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," RELEASED
THE THIRD AND FINAL SEASON OF HER SERIES "SHRILL," AND
DISCOVERED TWO NEW PLANETS. SHE'S VERY PRODUCTIVE.
ALL THREE SEASONS OF "SHRILL" ARE ON HULU NOW.
PLEASE WELCOME AIDY BRYANT. [ APPLAUSE ]
HI, AIDY! HOW ARE YOU?
>> HI. I'M GOOD.
>> Jimmy: HOW'S IT GOING? YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE
AWARE OF THIS, BUT I WAS TOLD THAT THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE
WAS MARCH 9th, 2020. IT WAS A MONDAY.
AND THEN BY FRIDAY, WE'RE ALL HIDING IN OUR BASEMENTS.
>> I KNOW. I KIND OF CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
LIKE THE LAST TIME I WAS THERE, PEOPLE WERE KIND OF LIKE OH,
THERE IS THIS WEIRD THING GOING ON, AND THEN, YEAH, ON MY FLIGHT
BACK TO NEW YORK, THERE WAS A WOMAN IN LIKE A FULL GAS MASK,
AND BASICALLY A PLASTIC PONCHO. AND WE WERE LOOKING AT HER LIKE
OH, WHAT A NUTCASE. AND ABSOLUTELY A WEEK LATER I
WAS IN THE GROCERY STORE IN MY OWN PLASTIC PONCHO AND FULL
PLASTIC GLOVES. >> Jimmy: ARE YOU STILL WASHING
YOUR HANDS A LOT AND DOING ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF?
OR HAVE YOU GIVEN UP? >> I'M VACCINATED NOW.
SO I SUCK IN. >> Jimmy: CLEANLINCLEANLINESS.
>> NASTY ON THE TOWN, YEAH. >> Jimmy: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT
NOW? >> WELL, CURRENTLY I'M IN
PHOENIX, ARIZONA. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE IN PHOENIX,
ARIZONA. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE IN A HOTEL?
>> I AM, YEAH. YEAH.
I'M VISITING MY FAMILY. >> Jimmy: I SEE.
BUT WHEN YOU VISIT YOUR FAMILY, YOU DON'T STAY IN THE HOUSE WITH
THEM? .
>> NO. MY BROTHER IS ACTUALLY STAYING
IN THEIR SPARE BEDROOM. I'M ON TV.
I GOT TO STAY AT THE HOTEL. >> Jimmy: IS YOUR BROTHER
JEALOUS THAT YOU ESCAPED TO THE HOTEL?
>> I THINK MAYBE, YEAH. NO, BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S NICE TO
BE HOME. MEMORIES ALL AROUND ME.
>> Jimmy: WHAT MEMORIES ARE AROUND YOU?
TELL ME SOME OF YOUR MEMORIES. >> OH, YEAH.
TRULY BLOCKS FROM WHERE I AM, I GOT INTO MY VERY FIRST
FENDER-BENDER. >> Jimmy: OH, HOW NICE.
>> YEAH, YEAH. I WAS 16 YEARS OLD, AND I WAS IN
CHARGE OF DRIVING ALL THE OTHER 14-YEAR-OLDS TO HIGH SCHOOL.
AND ONE OF THEM WAS ON THE LACROSSE TEAM.
AND AS A JOKE AT A STOPLIGHT, HE PUT THE LACROSSE NET OVER MY
FACE WHILE I WAS DRIVING. AND I REAR-ENDED A PURPLE PT
CRUISER. SEEMED A REAL SIGN OF THE TIMES.
AND THEN WE PULLED OFF TO CHECK FOR DAMAGE, OF COURSE THE PERSON
WHO OWNS THE PURPLE PT CRUISER GETS OUT OF THE CAR AND HAS A
FULL JAMIROQUAI LIKE VIRTUAL INSANITY HAT, ONE OF THOSE FURRY
HATS. SO I WAS SCARED AND SO WORRIED.
BUT THIS WOMAN IS LOOKING AROUND LIKE OH MY GOD, YOU REAR-ENDED
M. BUT HER HAT WAS SHAKING AROUND.
THANKFULLY THERE WAS NO DAMAGE. BUT I STILL HAVEN'T TOLD MY
PARENTS ABOUT IT. >> Jimmy: OH, YOU HAVEN'T?
REALLY? >> NO, NO.
>> Jimmy: OH, DO YOU THINK YOU'LL EVER TELL THEM?
DO YOU THINK THEY'LL BE UPSET IF THEY AREA ABOUT IT NOW?
>> I CAN TELL YOU WITH COMPLETE CERTAINTY THAT THEY WILL BE
WATCHING THIS AND FIND OUT FROM THIS.
>> Jimmy: WELL, I HOPE THE FACT THAT YOU TOLD THE STORY ON TV
LESSENS THE BLOW IN SOME WAY. >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: BOY, THAT PT CRUISER, IT CAME ON HOT.
>> WOO! >> Jimmy: IT WAS BIG AND LET'S
START MAKING THEM IN PURPLE. >> AND THEN THEY SAID SEND THEM
ALL TO HELL. THIS IS TRASH.
WE CAN'T MAKE THESE ANYMORE. >> Jimmy: AND THERE ARE NONE
LEFT ON THE ROAD. >> NO.
>> Jimmy: BUT IT SEEMS LIKE IF YOU RUN -- I KNOW THERE IS A
LACROSSE NET ON YOUR HEAD. BUT RUNNING INTO A PURPLE CAR
MEANS YOU PROBABLY WEREN'T >> YEAH.TTENTION.-
I MEAN, NO, I WAS A 16-YEAR-OLD IN CHARGE OF GETTING OTHER
CHILDREN TO SCHOOL. IT'S NOT GOOD.
>> Jimmy: NO, THAT SEEMS UNFAIR. ARE YOU IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD OR
ARE YOU NOT IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD?
>> NO, I'M A COUPLE OF BLOCKS FROM WHERE I GREW UP.
I'M TRULY SURROUNDED BY HAUNTING MEMORIES.
>> Jimmy: WHAT ELSE? >> WELL, A COUPLE BLOCKS AWAY,
OUR FAMILY FRIENDS OWNED A STRIP CLUB CALLED TEASERS.
AND SO IT'S LIKE ONE OF MY DEAREST CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, HIS
PARENTS OWNED TEASERS. AND THEY WOULD PICK ME UP AFTER
SCHOOL, AND WE WOULD CARPOOL. AND ONCE WE GOT TO GO OVER THERE
AND WE WERE IN THE PARKING LOT. THEY WERE JUST RUNNING AN
ERRAND, PICKING SOMETHING UP OR SOMETHING.
AND WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO GO IN BECAUSE IT'S A TOPLESS BAR.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. >> AND WE WERE LIKE 9.
BUT THEY DID LET US WAIT IN THE PARKING LOT.
AND AS A REWARD FOR THAT, THEY BROUGHT OUT A MASSIVE SNAKE LIKE
A PYTHON THAT I GUESS THEY USED IN SOME OF THE SEXUAL SHOWINGS
THAT THEY DID. AND THEN THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME
THAT I EVER GOT TO TOUCH A SNAKE.
AND REALLY, MY FIRST TASTE OF SHO
SHOWBIZ. >> Jimmy: SEEMS IT MADE QUITE AN
IMPRESSION ON YOU, I GUESS. >> WELL, IT WAS THRILLING, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL FRIEND WAS THE SNAKE PEOPLE?
>> YEAH. ONE OF MY MOM'S BEST FRIENDS,
YEAH. >> Jimmy: REALLY?
ONE OF YOUR MOM'S BEST FRIENDS? >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND I DON'T WANT TO GENERALIZE, BUT TYPICALLY,
PEOPLE WHO OWN STRIP CLUBS ARE SCUMBAGS.
>> NO. >> Jimmy: NO?
>> NO, NO. NO, IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR.
THIS IS, YOU KNOW, THIS IS THE HOLLYWOOD OF THE SOUTHWEST.
THIS IS PHOENIX. >> Jimmy: ARE THEY STILL IN THE
HOUSE THAT YOU GREW UP IN? >> NO, NO.
THEY SOLD THE HOUSE I GREW UP IN, BUT THEY DID TAKE ALL THE
ARTIFACTS TO MY PARENTS' HOUSE. ACTUALLY, I BROUGHT SOMETHING TO
THE HOTEL TO SHOW YOU KIND OF THEIR VIBE.
>> Jimmy: OH, GREAT. >> IF YOU WANTED TO SEE.
>> Jimmy: WE'D LOVE TO SEE, YEAH.
ABSOLUTELY. >> NOW I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO
KNOW THAT MY GRANDMOTHER WAS OBSESSED WITH ME AND WOULD SORT
OF MAKE ME BE HER MODEL AND PHOTOGRAPH ME.
AND SHE WOULD GIVE ME A PROP LIKE A HAT OR THAT KIND OF
THING. AND THEN PRODUCE SOMETHING LIKE
THIS. CAN YOU SEE THE SIZE OF THIS?
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. >> THIS IS A DEMENTED PHOTO OF A
YOUNG CHILD IN A HAT. AND IT'S TRULY THE SIZE OF A
DOOR. SO WHEN I GO HOME, THIS IS RIGHT
BY THEIR FRONT DOOR. OKAY?
VERY '90s, VERY BLOSSOM. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> VERY HAT. >> Jimmy: EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT
IS GOOD. WOW, THAT'S PRETTY -- WILL YOU
BE TAKING THAT HOME OR LEAVING THAT WITH THEM?
>> I THINK I'M GOING TO FLY HOME ON THIS, A MAGIC CARPET.
>> Jimmy: AIDY BRYANT IS WITH US.
"SHRILL" IS ON HULU. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>>> I DON'T WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER PARTY, YOU KNOW, WHERE
I'M JUST GOING TO BE YOUR WINGMAN AND NOT HAVE ANY FUN.
>> YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS SAY NO, BUT YOU ALWAYS END UP DOING WHAT
I SAY. BUT IF YOU WON'T COME TO KEGS
AND EGG, YOU AT LEAST HAVE TO COME TO THE WRAP PARTY WITH ME.
>> OKAY. >> HEY, GUY.
>> OH MY GOD, YOU LOOK LIKE SUCH A PERSON WITH THIS MUSTACHE.
>> WHAT, I HAD TO DO IT FOR THE PLAY.
>> BUT YOU'RE NOT IN THE PLAY. YOU'RE THE PROP GUY, RIGHT?
>> PROP MASTER. >> Jimmy: THAT IS AIDY BRYANT IN
"SHRILL." AIDY, THIS IS YOUR THIRD AND
FINAL SEASON OF THE SHOW. IS THAT HOW YOU HAD IT PLANNED?
DID YOU DO THREE SEASONS? >> I MEAN, NO.
NOT REALLY. WE WERE REALLY EXCITED.
WE SHOT -- WE WROTE AND SHOT THIS SEASON, AND THEN WE FOUND
OUT KIND OF WHEN WE GOT INTO THE EDITING PROCESS.
THEY'RE LIKE OKAY, THIS IS THE FINAL SEASON.
SO IT WAS THIS WEIRD THING WHERE IT'S NOT WRITTEN TO BE THE END,
BUT IT IS THE END. SO, YOU KNOW, IN EDITING, WE HAD
TO KIND OF BRING THE STORY TO THIS PLACE WHERE IT HAS SOME
CLOSURE. >> Jimmy: WERE YOU GUYS MAD?
>> YOU KNOW -- [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I WOULD BE LIKE YOU COULDN'T HAVE TOLD ME THIS?
>> JIMMY, I'VE NEVER BEEN MAD A DAY IN MY LIFE.
I'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED ANGER. I'M A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
BUT I AM IMAGINE THAT OTHERS WERE MAD.
BUT, I MEAN, IN A WEIRD WAY, AS MUCH AS IT PISSED US OFF, IT
ALSO KIND OF GAVE US THIS COOL THING WHICH I FEEL LIKE, YOU
KNOW, THIS SHOW IS ABOUT LIKE A PERSON WHO IS FAT WHO WANTS TO
CHANGE THEIR LIFE AND FIND THEIR OWN CONFIDENCE, BUT NOT CHANGE
THEIR BODY. AND I THINK THAT KIND OF THING,
ESPECIALLY WITH BODY POSITIVITY, THERE IS A LOT OF PRESSURE TO
HAVE IT BE LIKE THIS PERFECT A-PLUS WIN.
SHE IS SELF-CONFIDENT, YOU KNOW. AND BECAUSE WE DIDN'T KNOW, WE
DIDN'T HAVE THAT PRESSURE FROM THE NETWORK OR THE STUDIO TO
GIVE IT THIS LIKE KIND OF CORNY LIKE THIS IS HER FIGHT SONG
ENDING, WE GOT TO END IT IN A MORE BITTERSWEET REALISTIC WAY.
>> Jimmy: GOOD. >> IT'S A JOURNEY.
YEAH. >> Jimmy: THAT'S BETTER.
AND SPEAKING OF JOURNEYS, YOU JUST DID YOUR NINTH SEASON OF
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," WHICH IS CRAZY.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: I WOULD HAVE GUESSED
YOU'VE BEEN ON FOR LIKE FOUR OR FIVE YEARS AND JUST KIND OF WENT
BY LIKE THAT. DID IT FEEL LIKE THAT TO YOU?
>> NO. I MEAN, I GOT HIRED WHEN I WAS
25. >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> THAT'S A CHILD. >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> NOW I'M AN OLD WOMAN WHO IS TIRED AND SAD.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU WATCH "THE BACHELORETTE," AIDY?
>> YEAH, I'M NOT AN IDIOT, JIMMY.
I LOVE IT. >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, KATIE IS
HERE. IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU WOULD
LIKE ME TO PASS ALONG OR ASK, I'D BE HAPPY TO GET IT.
>> I WOULD SAY, YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS LIKE IT ALWAYS WORKS OUT
FOR THESE COUPLE, AND I'M SURE IT WILL FOR HER AS WELL.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S THE WORST DATE YOU WERE EVER ON?
>> OH, GOD. I'VE GOT LOTS TO CHOOSE FROM.
THERE WAS ONE IN COLLEGE. I WENT TO COLLEGE IN CHICAGO,
AND I GOT SET UP KIND OF WITH THIS MAN.
AND HE INVITED ME TO GO TO THE MOST ROMANTIC PLACE IN THE
WORLD, PANERA. >> Jimmy: THAT'S FRENCH, RIGHT?
>> THAT'S RIGHT. WELL, WHEN YOU'RE WORTH IT, YOU
HAVE TO GO. SO I WENT AND GOT SOME SOUP WITH
THIS MAN. AND WHEN THEY CALLED, YOU KNOW,
IT'S NOT A RESTAURANT WHERE THERE IS A WAITER OR WHATEVER.
SO THEY CALL YOUR NUMBER AND YOU GET YOUR SANDWICH AND YOUR SOUP.
AND WHEN WE DID THAT, WE WENT TO SIT AT OUR TABLE, AND THIS MAN
TRIPPED AND HIS SANDWICH EXPLODED AND WENT ALL OVER THE
FLOOR, AND THEN HE WAS SO RATTLED THAT HE WAS BASICALLY IN
TEARS, AND THAT WAS THE DATE. >> Jimmy: WOW.
TEARS AT PANERA. WELL, THANKS FOR BEING WITH US.
>> IT'S SEX. >> Jimmy: NEXT TIME, IF YOU GET
A CHANCE, I'D LOVE TO SEE THE WHOLE REST OF THE INSIDE OF YOUR
PARENTS' HOUSE. >> YOU GOT IT.
>> Jimmy: IF YOU HAVE YOUR PHONE HANDY WHEN YOU GO OVER THERE FOR
DINNER OR WHATEVER, TAKE SOME VIDEO AND WE'LL REVIEW IT
TOGETHER THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE HERE.
>> YOU GOT IT IT. >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, AIDY
BRYANT. YOU CAN WATCH "SHRILL" ON HULU
NOW. WE'LL BE BACK WITH THE
BACHELORETTE KATIE THURSTON. ♪
>> Jimmy: HI THERE. WELCOME BACK.
JOHN MAYER IS ON THE WAY. I HAVE SOME VERY BIG NEWS.
THE CDC JUST ANNOUNCED IF YOU ARE FULLY VACCINATED, YOU CAN
NOW SAFELY MAKE OUT WITH 30 STRANGERS IN A HOT TUB, WHICH IS
TERRIFIC FOR OUR NEXT GUEST. PLEASE WELCOME THE NEWEST
BACHELORETTE, KATIE THURSTON. ♪
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW?
>> I MEAN, TODAY IS THE BIG DAY. >> Jimmy: TODAY IS THE BIG DAY.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE SHOW YET? >> I HAVE.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE? >> YES.
>> Jimmy: WHO DID YOU WATCH IT WITH?
>> MYSELF. >> Jimmy: YOU WATCHED IT ALONE?
>> YES. >> Jimmy: WERE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE
WATCHING YOURSELF ON TELEVISION? >> YEAH.
I'VE NEVER SEEN MYSELF MAKE OUT WITH SO MANY GUYS.
>> Jimmy: WHAT WAS THE MOMENT THAT MADE YOUR SKIN CRAWL THE
MOST? OF ALL THE MOMENTS WE SAW ON
TONIGHT'S SHOW. >> KISSING THE CAT.
>> Jimmy: KISSING THE CAT. BECAUSE YOU REALLY GOT IN THERE.
>> I DID. >> Jimmy: I KNOW.
I GUESS IT'S WEIRD. I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN
VIDEO OF MYSELF KISSING A PERSON.
>> YOU NEVER WANT TO. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
SO YOU REALLY KISSED THE CAT. >> YEAH.
I REALLY ZHAO. >> Jimmy: AND THE FACT YOU SAY
"THE CAT" MAKES ME THINK YOU DIDN'T PICK THE GUY.
>> PEOPLE ARE LEARNING NAMES. I LIKE TO SAY CONNOR THE CAT.
>> Jimmy: CONNOR THE CAT. THERE IS A CONNOR B.
>> AND AN ANDREW, MICHAEL AND MIKE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THERE IS A LOT OF PEOPLE WITH NAMES ON THE
SHOW. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW, IT'S WEIRD THAT THEY SHOT IT IN ALBUQUERQUE.
I MEAN, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ALBUQUERQUE.
REALLY ALL I KNOW ABOUT IT IS "BREAKING BAD."
YOU'VE NOT BEEN TO THE BACHELOR MANSION AT ALL, EVEN THOUGH
YOU'RE ON TWO RUNS OF THE SHOW. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU WOULD THINK OF ALL PLACES THEY KNOW HOW TO
DISINFECT, IT WOULD BE THAT BACHELOR MANSION.
>> I DON'T KNOW. THE MANSION HAS A BUNCH OF BUNK
BEDS. SO IF YOU PUT ALL THESE PEOPLE
IN ONE ROOM, IT'S NOT IDEAL DURING A PANDEMIC.
>> Jimmy: I GUESS NOT. SO YOU'RE IN ALBUQUERQUE.
YOU'RE WITH ALL THESE GUYS. I MENTIONED IN THE MONOLOGUE
BECAUSE YOU FAMOUSLY SHOWED UP WITH A VIBRATOR WHEN MATT WAS
THE BACHELOR. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: HOW HAS THAT AFFECTED YOUR LIFE, BY THE WAY?
IS THAT ALL ANYONE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT NOW?
>> PEOPLE SEND ME ENOUGH VIBRATORS TO LAST ME A LIFETIME
NOW. >> Jimmy: THEY DO?
>> I LITERALLY PAY PEOPLE TO WATCH MY CAT IN VIBRATORS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH ALL OF THEM.
>> Jimmy: HOW DO THEY GET TO YOU?
HOW DO THEY KNOW WHERE TO SEND THEM?
>> I HAVE A PO BOX STRICTLY FOR THAT.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU WANT TO GIVE THE NUMBER OUT?
>> I DON'T NEED HIM. I'M GOOD.
>> Jimmy: IN CASE SOMEBODY WANTS TO SELL YOU BATTERIES?
>> NO THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: WILL YOU GIVE THEM AS
GIFTS? >> HAVE I BEEN.
WHEN FRIENDS COME OVER, I OPEN THE BOX, HERE YOU GO, PICK YOUR
PICK. >> Jimmy: FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE,
THAT WOULD BE SUPER CREEPY. BUT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH IT.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: SO THAT HAPPENED TO
YOU. OR YOU DID THAT.
AND NOW YOU HAVE ALL THESE GUYS COMING TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION ON
YOU. >> OH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: DID IT FEEL DIFFERENT WHEN YOU'RE ON THE OTHER SIDE?
>> YEAH. I THINK I WAS LESS NERVOUS ON
THE OTHER SIDE. >> Jimmy: OH, YOU WERE?
>> I KIND OF KNEW WHAT TO EXPECT.
>> Jimmy: BECAUSE THEY'RE THE ONES THAT HAVE TO MAKE THE
IMPRESSION. >> EXACTLY.
>> Jimmy: SOME OF THESE GUYS, I MEAN, I KNOW YOU CAN'T SAY ONE
WAY OR THE OTHER. BUT LIKE WHEN A GUY SHOWS UP IN
A BOX, DOES THAT MAKE YOU MORE OR LESS INTERESTED IN HIM?
>> I JUST DON'T KNOW WHO IS IN THERE.
THAT MAKES ME SCARED FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. THE GUY WHO CAME WITH THE RV.
>> OH. YEAH.
>> Jimmy: HE DIDN'T GET A ROSE. >> THAT WAS JEFF.
>> Jimmy: HIS RV WAS DIRTY. HIS UNDERWEAR WERE ON THE TABLE
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WHAT -- HE IS A PSYCHOPATH.
>> HE IS ALSO THE SKIN SALESMAN. >> Jimmy: AND HE SELLS SKIN.
RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE. >> MIGHT BE THE LEAST WEIRD
THING ABOUT HIM, I GUESS. >> VERY TRUE.
>> Jimmy: SO HE WAS BASICALLY SAYING TO YOU, HEY, THIS IS
WHRE WE'RE GOING TO LIVE. THIS IS OUR HOME.
WE WOULD LIVE IN THIS RV. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND THAT'S NOT -- YOU DON'T WANT THAT?
>> THAT'S NOT MY FANTASY, NO. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE LOOKING TO BE
IN A HOUSE THAT HAS A CEMENT FOUNDATION.
>> AT LEAST. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: OKAY.
NOW YOU HAD TO BREAK UP WITH A LOT OF GUYS ON THIS SHOW.
>> YES. >> Jimmy: HOW MANY GUYS?
AT LEAST 29 GUYS YOU HAD TO DUMP.
HOW MANY GUYS HAVE YOU DUMPED IN THE PAST?
>> LIKE FIVE MAYBE. >> Jimmy: FIVE GUYS.
>> YEAH. IT'S A LOT.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A LOT. YOU MULTIPLIED THAT BY SIX JUST
IN THIS PROCESS ALONE. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GOT TO BE TERRIBLE.
FOR ME, I FEEL LIKE NONE OF IT WILL BE WORTH IT BECAUSE I WOULD
NOT WANT TO GO THROUGH THAT EXPERIENCE.
>> YEAH, I MEAN, BREAKING UP WITH PEOPLE IS NOT EASY.
EVERYONE WAS DID YOU HAVE FUN ON THE SHOW?
BREAKING HEARTS IS NOT FUN. >> Jimmy: LET'S PRACTICE.
SHOW ME HOW YOU BREAK UP WITH ME.
LET ME GET SOME LIGHTING WOULD BE NICE.
SO HERE WE GO. I KEEP THIS UNDER THE DESK IN
CASE OF EMERGENCY. >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: GO AHEAD. YOU WANT THE TAKE ONE?
>> I'LL HOLD THE ROSE. >> Jimmy: I'LL HAVE MY DRINK.
>> I GO I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I PICKED THIS UP BECAUSE I'M
ACTUALLY NOT GIVING IT TO YOU. >> Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S A TOUGH
START. >> HEY, MATT DID IT TO ME.
SO I LEARNED FROM THE BEST. >> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME ON THIS JOURNEY.
THIS JOURNEY WAS A JOURNEY. AND I JUST DON'T KNOW IF YOU
WERE HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS. >> Jimmy: BUT I WORK HERE.
>> I MEAN, YOU REALLY MADE THE MOST DRAMATIC SEASON YET.
>> Jimmy: UH-HUH. >> AND AFTER FANTASY SUITES, YOU
LEFT ME VERY DISAPPOINTED. SO I THINK --
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I'M A VERY POOR LOSER.
>> SO IT'S TIME YOU SAY YOUR GOODBYES.
>> Jimmy: AND THEN I SAY GOODBYE?
>> YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. >> Jimmy: BYE, EVERYBODY.
GOOD NIGHT. THERE YOU GO.
THAT WAS VERY WELL DONE. YOU HANDLED IT GENTLY.
AND ALL RIGHT. YOU READY FOR WHO MY WIFE PICKED
FOR YOU, THE FINAL FOUR? >> HOLD ON.
LET ME GET MY GAME FACE ON. >> GET YOUR GAME FACE ON BECAUSE
YOU CAN'T REVEAL ANYTHING. BUT WE'RE GOING TO BE WATCHING
YOU VERY, VERY CLOSELY. >> ALL RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: YOUR FINAL FOUR -- THANK YOU, JOHN.
ANDREW S. ANDREW IS A FOOTBALL PLAYER FROM
VIENNA, AUSTRIA. OOH, VERY EXOTIC.
SUPER CLOSE TO HIS 94-YEAR-OLD GRANDMA.
HE SEEMS FUN. ALL THE GUYS LIKE HIM.
HE DID THAT TERRIBLE ACCENT, BUT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS KIND OF
FUNNY. HE WILL BE IN YOUR FINAL FOUR.
OH, YOU SAY YES. >> I'M LISTENING.
>> Jimmy: NO, YOU NODDED. JUSTIN.
>> MMM. >> Jimmy: FROM BALTIMORE.
HE IS AN ARTIST. HE IS NOT BAD.
HE PAINTED YOU A ROSE. YOU SEEM INTO HIM.
HE IS HANDSOME. HE'S GOT A SMOKIN' BODY.
>> YEAH. THIS MUSIC!
>> Jimmy: CONNOR B., THE CAT GUY.
MATH TEACHER, MUSICIAN. YOU GAVE HIM -- YOU FRENCHED THE
HELL OUT OF HIM. YOU GAVE HIM A DOUBLE THUMBS-UP
WHEN HE GOT OUT OF THE LIMO. >> UH-HUH.
>> Jimmy: YOUR THUMBS WERE SAYING WHAT YOUR MOUTH WOULDN'T.
AND NUMBER FOUR WHO WE BELIEVE WILL BE YOUR PICK IS -- YOU
CAN'T EVEN LOOK, CAN YOU? >> I SEE GREG ON THAT.
>> Jimmy: IT'S GREG. GREG WANTS A FAMILY.
HE'S GOT NIECES AND FESTIVE YOUS.
HE BROUGHT YOU A NOODLE NECKLACE.
YOU SAID HE LOOKS LIKE MY EX-BOYFRIEND, WHICH IS
INTERESTING. YOU GAVE HIM THE FIRST
IMPRESSION ROSE. HISTORICALLY, THAT IS VERY, VERY
IMPORTANT. AND EVEN THOUGH HE LOOKS HIGH
ALL THE TIME, WE BELIEVE GREG WILL BE YOUR BACHELOR.
>> OKAY. [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT? >> YOU DID GOOD.
>> Jimmy: AND AT THE END, COME BACK AND WE'LL REVIEW THE TAPE
AND WE'LL SEE WHAT YOUR POKER FACE IS LIKE.
WE'LL SEE IF YOU HAVE ANY TELLS. >> I HOPE NOT.
>> Jimmy: WELL, HAVE FUN. >> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: IT'S GREAT TO MEET YOU.
THIS IS OUR BACHELORETTE, KATIE, KATIE THURSTON, THE
BACHELORETTE, MONDAY NIGHT AT 8:00 ON ABC.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH JOHN MAYER. >>> THE JIMMY KIMMEL CONCERT
SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES-BENZ.
THE BEST OR NOTHING. >> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO
LIKE THIS GUY. THIS IS HIS NEW ALBUM.
IT'S CALLED "SOB ROCK." IT COMES OUT IN ITS ENTIRETY ON
JULY 16th. THIS SONG IS CALLED "LAST TRAIN
HOME." JOHN MAYER!
♪ ♪ IF YOU WANNA ROLL ME
THEN YOU GOTTA ROLL ME ALL NIGHT LONG ♪
♪ AND IF YOU WANNA USE ME THEN YOU GOTTA USE ME
TIL I'M GONE ♪ ♪ I'M NOT A FALLEN ANGEL
I JUST FELL BEHIND I'M OUT OF LUCK
AND I'M OUT OF TIME ♪ ♪ IF YOU DON'T
WANNA LOVE ME LET ME GO ♪
♪ I'M RUNNIN FOR THE LAST TRAIN
I'M RUNNIN FOR THE LAST TRAIN HOME ♪
♪ IF YOU WANNA KNOW ME THEN YOU GOTTA KNOW ME
THROUGH AND THROUGH ♪ ♪ AND IF YOU'RE
GONNA HURT ME THEN YOU GOTTA
HOLD ME NEXT TO YOU ♪ ♪ NO MATTER
HOW YOU WORK IT THINGS GO WRONG ♪
♪ I PUT MY HEART WHERE IT DON'T BELONG
SO IF YOU'RE COMIN WITH ME LET ME KNOW ♪
♪ MAYBE YOU'RE THE LAST TRAIN
MAYBE YOU'RE THE LAST TRAIN HOME ♪
♪ I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN
I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN ♪
♪ AND I SURRENDER AND I SURRENDER ♪
♪ I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN
I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN ♪
♪ AND I SURRENDER AND I SURRENDER ♪
♪ I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN
I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN ♪
♪ AND I SURRENDER AND I SURRENDER ♪
♪ I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN
I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN ♪
♪ AND I SURRENDER AND I SURRENDER ♪
♪ I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN
I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN ♪
♪ AND I SURRENDER AND I SURRENDER ♪
♪ I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN
I'M ON THE LAST TRAIN RUNNIN ♪
♪ >>> THE JIMMY KIMMEL CONCERT
SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES-BENZ.
THE BEST OR NOTHING. >> Jimmy: WELL, YOU STAYED UP
TOO LATE FOR A MONDAY, BUT I'M GLAD YOU DID.
I WANT TO THANK AIDY BRYANT, KATIE THURSTON, JOHN MAYER, AND
KAITLYN, TOO. OUR ONLY AUDIENCE MEMBER.
APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. TOMORROW NIGHT, LOKI IS WITH US.
TOM HIDDLESTON AND MAYA ERSKINE AND ANNA KONKLE
FROM "PEN 15," AND MUSIC FROM CHIIILD.
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING,
GOODNIGHT.