>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!" TONIGHT ‐‐
DJ KHALED, FLORENCE PUGH, AND MUSIC FROM FOUSHEE. AND NOW ‐‐
JIMMY KIMMEL!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HI, I'M THAT GUY, I'M JIMMY. I'M THE HOST.
THANKS FOR WATCHING. IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT I AM READY TO R‐O‐K.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING, GUILLERMO?
>> Guillermo: GREAT, I'M READY TO ROCK.
>> Jimmy: EVERYBODY'S FEELING GREAT.
MAYBE YOU AND I SHOULD GIVE EACH OTHER BACK RUBS AFTER THE SHOW.
>> Guillermo: WHATEVER YOU SAY.
>> Jimmy: BECAUSE OF THE THAT PEFLKY VIRUS GOING AROUND
KILLING THE GOLDEN GIRLS, WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A REAL
AUDIENCE. SO I'VE BEEN DOING THE SHOW FOR
OUR STAFF. AND THEY ‐‐
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I GET IT.
WE'RE GOING TO DO A SHOW TOMORROW, TOO, IF YOU KEEP IT UP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO WE'RE TRYING TO MIX IT UP. WE INVITED ONE VACCINATED PERSON
TO SIT IN OUR AUDIENCE PER WEEK. A PERSON WHO DOESN'T WORK HERE.
AND THIS WEEK, WE WELCOME JILLIAN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HI, JILLIAN. WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
>> I'M FROM OHIO ORIGINALLY, COLUMBUS.
>> Jimmy: WHAT CITY IN OHIO?
>> COLUMBUS.
>> Jimmy: COLUMBUS, OHIO.
>> GO, BUCKS.
>> Jimmy: I HEARD YOU COULDN'T COME YESTERDAY BECAUSE YOU HAD A
ROCKET TO LAUNCH?
>> YEAH, A LITTLE BUSY. WE HAVE ONE THIS COMING WEEKEND
AS WELL.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD EXCUSE. YOU WORK FOR SPACEX?
>> YEAH, I DO.
>> Jimmy: WHAT THAT IS LIKE? IS ANYBODY REQUIRED TO BUY A
TESLA TO WORK THERE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO, YOU'RE NOT. IT'S A JOY, IT'S A PLEASURE.
>> Jimmy: DO THEY PAY YOU IN DOGECOIN?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO, BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA A LITTLE BIT AGO.
>> Jimmy: I SEE, YEAH. ARE YOU A ROCKET SCIENTIST?
>> YEAH, TECHNICALLY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GREAT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: SO YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON TO ASK, WHAT IS YOUR TAKE
ON THE UFOs OR THE UAPs AS THEY CALL THEM NOW?
>> GREAT QUESTION.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU.
>> IN MY PROFESSIONAL OPINION, I REALLY WANT IT TO BE TRUE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. AS A SCIENTIST, THOUGH, I THINK
I NEED A LITTLE MORE HARD EVIDENCE.
>> Jimmy: YOU NEED A LITTLE MORE, ALL RIGHT.
THE GOVERNMENT, THEY WERE EXPECTED TO RELEASE THIS BIG
REPORT ON WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT UFOs THIS WEEK.
THAT WAS PUSHED TO LATER THIS MONTH. BUT WE LEARNED FROM THE
"NEW YORK TIMES" YESTERDAY WHAT IS IN IT.
TURNS OUT, THE ALIENS WERE CREATED IN A LAB IN CHINA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, WAIT, I MIGHT BE MIXING UP MY STORIES. BUT NO.
ACCORDING TO THE "TIMES," INTELLIGENCE OFFICIALS FOUND NO
EVIDENCE THAT UNIDENTIFIED AERIAL PHENOMENA ARE ALIEN
SPACESHIPS, BUT THEY ALSO COULD NOT RULE OUT THE POSSIBILITY
THAT THEY ARE ALIEN SPACESHIPS. THE REPORT SAYS THEY EITHER ARE
OR AREN'T ALIEN SPACESHIPS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO I'M GLAD THAT'S SETTLED. ONE THEORY IS THAT THE OBJECTS
ARE FROM A COUNTRY THAT HAS QUIETLY ADVANCED WELL AHEAD OF
US TECHNOLOGY‐WISE. WHICH IS WORSE THAN ALIENS.
FA RUSSIA OR CHINA ‐‐ BEST‐CASE SCENARIO, WAKANDA IS REAL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING WEIRD AT SPACEX, BESIDES THE GUY THAT
OWNS IT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I WILL SAY, DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LAUNCH OVER L. A.?
THAT'S THE WEIRDEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN, THAT GLOW IN THE
CLOUD IS PHENOMENAL. BUT OTHER THAN THAT.
>> Jimmy: BUT THAT YOU COULD EXPLAIN.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: IT WASN'T UNEXPLAINED. YOU'VE GOT SEEN A UFO?
>> NOT THERE, NOT YET.
>> Jimmy: I'M NOT AN EXPERT LIKE YOU ARE, BUT SHOULDN'T WE BE
LAYING A GIANT REESE'S PIECES ALL THE WAY TO THE CIA OR
DISNEYLAND OR SOMETHING TO TRY TO CATCH ONE OF THESE THINGS?
>> I LOVE THAT IDEA, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IN WHAT WAS MOST CERTAINLY NOT A COINCIDENCE, THE
FORMER CAPTAIN OF THE SPACE FORCE HAS RETURNED.
THERE WAS A MIKE PENCE SIGHTING IN NEW HAMPSHIRE FOR THE FIRST
TIME IN QUITE SOME TIME. HE HAS APPARENTLY COME OUT OF
HIDING. PENCE SPOKE AT THE ANNUAL LINCOLN‐REAGAN DINNER WHERE HE
WEIGHED IN ON THE RIFT CREATED WHEN HIS FORMER BOSS FORCED HIM
AND HIS FAMILY TO FLEE FOR THEIR LIVES DURING THE CAPITOL
INSURRECTION. AND APPARENTLY, THEY ARE STILL
NOT ON THE SAME PAGE WHEN IT COMES TO THE EVENTS OF
JANUARY 6th.
>> YOU KNOW, PRESIDENT TRUMP AND I HAVE SPOKEN MANY TIMES SINCE
WE LEFT OFFICE. AND I DON'T KNOW IF WE'LL EVER
SEE EYE TO EYE ON THAT DAY. BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD OF
WHAT WE ACCOMPLISHED FOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE OVER THE LAST
FOUR YEARS.
>> Jimmy: WHAT A CHARACTER. WHAT WE ACCOMPLISHED.
SETTING ASIDE THE FACT THAT DONALD TRUMP ACCOMPLISHED LESS
THAN NOTHING IN HIS FOUR YEARS, WHAT DID MIKE PENCE ACCOMPLISH?
THIS IS LIKE YOUR DOG SAYING "WE COOKED UP A PRETTY NICE DINNER
TONIGHT, DIDN'T WE?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND AS FAR AS NOT SEEING EYE TO EYE ON THE INSURRECTION GOES,
TRUMP ACTUALLY INCITED A MOB THAT BROKE IN TO KILL MIKE PENCE.
THAT WOULD BE LIKE IF RONALD REAGAN SAID, "YOU KNOW,
JOHN HINCKLEY AND I WILL NEVER SEE EYE TO EYE, BUT WE DO AGREE
THAT JODIE FOSTER IS SOMETHING ELSE!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT THAT'S ALL WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE THEY TRIED TO HANG
MIKE PENCE FROM. MIKE PENCE'S LEGACY IS SO WEIRD.
HE'S JUST THIS BORING, NOTHING OF A MAN WHO DECIDED TO RUN WITH
A GUY NO ONE, INCLUDING HIM, THOUGHT WAS GOING TO WIN, NOBODY
WANTED TO RUN WITH, AND WOUND UP BEING NUMBER TWO TO ONE OF THE
WORST LEADERS IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.
IT'S LIKE IF HITLER HAD A SIDEKICK NAMED DENNIS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU OPEN A HISTORY BOOK, YOU SEE DENNIS IN ALL THE PICTURES RIGHT
BEHIND HITLER. GIVING A THUMBS UP.
YOU ASK YOUR TEACHER, "WHO IS THAT?"
SHE'S LIKE," OH, THAT'S DENNIS."
[ LAUGHTER ]
OUR CRAZY EX‐POTUS IS SPINNING OUT RIGHT NOW.
ON WEDNESDAY, HE QUIT HIS OWN BLOG. HIS OWN WEBSITE.
BECAUSE NO ONE WAS READING IT. AND TODAY, FACEBOOK ANNOUNCED
THAT HE WILL BE SUSPENDED FROM THEIR PLATFORM UNTIL AT LEAST
JANUARY OF 2023. SO THE RECOUNT OF MONTE CRISTO
PUT OUT A STATEMENT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
"STATEMENT BY DONALD J. TRUMP. 45th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA. NEXT TIME I'M IN THE WHITE
HOUSE, THERE WILL BE NO MORE DINNERS, AT HIS REQUEST, WITH
MARK ZUCKERBERG AND HIS WIFE. IT WILL BE ALL BUSINESS!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S RIGHT, ZUCKERBERG! YOU AND YOUR WIFE GUZZLED DOWN
YOUR LAST McFLURRIES WITH ME!
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON WITH MAR‐A‐LARDO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HERE IN CALIFORNIA, THE STATE SAFETY BOARD IS RECOMMENDING
THAT OFFICES PUT AN END TO MANDATORY MASK‐WEARING RULES FOR
WORKERS WHO ARE FULLY VACCINATED, OR WORKERS WHO ARE
LYING ABOUT BEING FULLY VACCINATED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY SAY IT'S OKAY TO REMOVE YOUR MASK AS LONG AS EVERYONE IN
YOUR WORKPLACE IS FULLY VAXXED. MASKS WILL STILL BE REQUIRED IF
EVEN ONE PERSON IN A WORKPLACE ISN'T VACCINATED.
AND I THINK I SPEAK FOR MOST OF US HERE AT THE SHOW WHEN I SAY
MAY GOD HELP THAT ONE PERSON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHOEVER YOU ARE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
RIGHT, GUILLERMO?
>> Guillermo: RIGHT, JIMMY!
>> Jimmy: DID YOU WATCH THE LAKERS LAST NIGHT?
>> Guillermo: YEAH, IT WAS BAD.
>> Jimmy: IT WAS VERY BAD, YEAH. GOOD FOR PHOENIX, BAD FOR US.
THE SUNS BEAT UP ON THE LAKERS PRETTY GOOD THIS WEEK.
AND THIS IS INTERESTING. LAST NIGHT, A GUY ON REDDIT
POINTED OUT THAT ALL THE PLAYERS WHO ARE APPEARING IN THE NEW
"SPACE JAM" MOVIE HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED FROM THE PLAYOFFS.
LeBRON, ANTHONY DAVIS, DAMIAN LILLARD, KLAY THOMPSON,
AND MARVIN THE MARTIAN, ALL ELIMINATED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NONE OF THEM ARE IN. THEY'RE CALLING IT THE "SPACE
JAM" CURSE NOW. ALIENS, RIGHT JILLIAN?
>> YEP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IF YOU WATCHED THE GAME, THE SUNS GOT A HUGE BOOST
FROM KENDALL JENNER'S BOYFRIEND, DEVIN BOOKER.
WHICH IS INTERESTING. IN 2017, THE SUNS TWEETED THIS
PHOTO OF DEVIN LOOKING A LOT LIKE THAT OLD PHOTO OF A YOUNG
THE ROCK. THIS TWEET GOT THE ROCK AND
DEVIN TALKING AND THE ROCK TOLD DEVIN THAT IF THE SUNS EVER WIN
A TITLE, HE'LL GET HIM A PERSONALIZED FANNY PACK.
HE SAID, I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL, WHEN YOU HOLD UP THAT O'BRIEN
TROPHY ONE FINE DAY, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A PERSONALIZED
FANNY PACK READY TO THROW ON. DEVIN BOOKER WROTE BACK "DEAL."
AND NOW, THAT IT MIGHT HAPPEN, I DON'T WANT US TO LOSE SIGHT OF
THIS. THE FULFILLMENT OF THIS PROMISE
MIGHT BE JUST THE THING TO HEAL THIS NATION.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND THE ROCK TO ORDER THAT FANNY PACK
NOW. BECAUSE ESPECIALLY NOW WITH DELAYS FROM COVID, ORDERING FROM
ETSY TAKES FOREVER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO GET THAT. THIS ONE HAS THREE ZIPPERED
POCKETS AND AN ADJUSTABLE STRAP! WHO WOULDN'T TREASURE AN ITEM
LIKE THAT? BY THE WAY, IF YOU'RE IN THE
MARKET FOR A SUMMER INTERNSHIP, AND YOU LIVE HERE IN L. A., THERE
IS AN UNUSUAL OPPORTUNITY AT A LOCAL CANNABIS DELIVERY
COMPANY. WE MAY HAVE FOUND THE MOST
HIGHLY COVETED INTERNSHIP OF ALL TIME.
THIS IS AN ACTUAL POST FOR AN ACTUAL POSITION.
"DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO REVIEW CANNABIS FOR A LIVING?
WE ARE SEEKING A PASSIONATE, DETAIL‐ORIENTED, CREATIVE WRITER
TO REVIEW EVERY SINGLE PRODUCT ON OUR WEED DELIVERY PLATFORM.
THE CANDIDATE MUST BE TIMELY AND ATTENTIVE TO DETAIL."
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!
[ LAUGHTER ]
"HAVE A PASSION AND HUNGER TO TRY THE MOST INNOVATIVE CANNABIS
PRODUCTS ON THE MARKET." WELL, THEY'LL DEFINITELY HAVE A
HUNGER. AND "BE A GREAT TEAM MEMBER WITH
COLLABORATIVE SPIRIT." THAT MEANS PASS THE DUTCHIE TO
THE LEFT HAND SIDE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
APPLICANTS MUST SUBMIT A ONE‐PAGE WRITING SAMPLE AND FAIL
A DRUG TEST.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHERE WERE THESE INTERNSHIPS WHEN I WAS A KID?
WE WERE FOLDING 501s AT MILLER'S OUTPOST.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE PAY IS $15 AN HOUR, MINIMUM WAGE, UP TO 16 HOURS A WEEK.
WHICH I DID THE MATH HERE, THEY WANT AN INTERN FOR 16 HOURS A
WEEK, LET'S SAY THEY'RE THERE FOR EIGHT WEEKS, THAT'S
128 HOURS. AND THEY WANT THIS PERSON TO
TEST 600 "PRODUCTS." THAT MEANS THE EMPLOYEE WOULD
NED TO TEST AND WRITE ABOUT 4.7 PRODUCTS PER HOUR.
ARE THESE PEOPLE AT ALL FAMILIAR WITH THE SPEED AT WHICH STONED
PEOPLE OPERATE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY'D BETTER HAVE THEM TEST SOME METH TOO.
IF THEY WANT THAT DONE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS SOMETHING YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED IF YOU ARE INVOLVED IN
THESE SORTS OF THINGS.
THE STOCK MARKET HAS BEEN ‐‐ THERE'S BEEN UNUSUAL MOVEMENT
IN THE STOCK MARKET. SHARES PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT TO BE
WORTHLESS HAVE BECOME HOT PROPERTIES, LARGELY BECAUSE OF
YOUNG TRADERS WHO JOIN FORCES ON REDDIT TO BUY WHAT ARE KNOWN AS
"MEME STOCKS," WHICH IS SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT. SO JOINING US NOW TO HOPEFULLY
EXPLAIN IS ONE OF THE ARCHITECTS BEHIND THIS, HIS NAME IS
JUST BRADEN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> SUP? SUP, JIMMY?
>> Jimmy: HI, SORRY. YOUR NAME IS JUST BRADEN?
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: WELL BRADEN, THANKS FOR BEING WITH US.
WE APPRECIATE IT.
>> NO. NOT "BRADEN." "JUST BRADEN."
FIRST NAME "JUST," LAST NAME "BRADEN."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S YOUR BIRTH NAME? JUST?
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: SO YOUR PARENTS SHOULD BE IN JAIL, YOU REALIZE THAT,
RIGHT?
>> THEY ARE. IT'S PRETTY SICK.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, WELL ‐‐ JUST ‐‐ CAN YOU HELP US UNDERSTAND HOW
THIS MEME STOCK THING WORKS?
>> SURE. IT'S PRETTY EASY. IF YOU WANNA MAKE A TON OF MONEY
IN THIS MARKET, YOU GOTTA THINK OF THE STUPIDEST POSSIBLE THING
YOU CAN INVEST IT, THEN YOU POUR YOUR WHOLE TRUST FUND INTO IT.
BADOOSH!
>> Jimmy: WHAT SORT OF STUPID THINGS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
>> REMEMBER POGS?
>> Jimmy: POGS? YES. THE LITTLE PIECES OF PAPER YOU
THROW AT THE GROUND, RIGHT?
>> EXACTLY. THOSE SUCKED BIG TIME.
BUT RIGHT NOW, I AM GOING HARD ON POG FUTURES.
>> Jimmy: CAN YOU EVEN BUY STOCK IN POGS?
>> IT'S NOT A STOCK, IT'S A "STONK," YOU BOOMER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT'S A STONK? I NEED TO BUY STONKS, THEN?
WHAT OTHER STUPID THINGS HAVE YOU INVESTED IN?
>> LET'S SEE ‐‐ SCRUNCHIES, TAMAGOTCHI, KEANU
MEMES, POKEMON EROTICA. THAT'S A HOT ONE.
HEY, YOU KNOW HOW DOMINO'S BROUGHT BACK THE NOID?
>> Jimmy: DOMINO'S?
>> YEAH, I DROPPED 100K ON THAT LITTLE BITCH, AND I'M GONNA HODL
TO THE MOON!
>> Jimmy: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? "HODL TO THE MOON?"
>> IT MEANS YOU DON'T SELL UNTIL IT MAKES MONEY.
>> Jimmy: OH. WHY NOT JUST SAY THAT?
>> BECAUSE THE INTERNET POISONED MY BRAIN, DUDE!
I'M ALL ABOUT NOSTALGIA, IRONIC REFERENCES, AND REGURGITATING
SLANG LIKE "CHEUGY," "NO CAP," AND "LUNCHABLES."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: "LUNCHABLES" IS NOT SLANG.
>> IT IS THE WAY I USE IT. I'M A DISRUPTOR, JIMMY.
I DISRUPT. IF SOMETHING IS RUPT, I HIT IT
WITH A DISS! WHICH BRINGS ME TO JUST BRADEN'S
MEME STONK PICK OF THE WEEK, BRADEN COIN.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT. NOW WHAT'S BRADEN COIN?
>> I'M BRADEN COIN.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE YOUR OWN CRYPTOCURRENCY?
>> NO, NO, NO, NO. I AM A CRYPTOCURRENCY.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> IT MEANS THAT I AM THE FUTURE.
AND JUST LIKE THE FUTURE, I'M TERRIBLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO BE SMART AND BUY THE ‐‐
[ BLEEP ].
BUY THE ‐‐
>> HEY, YOU KNOW THE ROUTINE.
>> OH, HEY, GUYS.
>> Jimmy: HEY ‐‐
>> LOOKING SWOLL.
>> NO CAP.
>> Jimmy: WHO ARE THOSE MEN?
>> MIKE. RONNIE. S.E.C. AGENTS. GOOD DUDES.
I GO TO JAIL ABOUT ONCE A WEEK. IT'S LIT.
>> Jimmy: YOU SEEM VERY RELAXED ABOUT GOING TO JAIL.
>> YOU KNOW, IT'S THE ONLY TIME I GET TO SEE MY FOLKS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I SEE, THAT'S RIGHT. ARE THEY ALSO IN FOR DOING THIS
SORT OF THING?
>> NO, WHEN I WAS A BABY, THEY STOLE ME FROM THE PARKING LOT OF
THE K‐MART. JUST REMEMBER, BUY THE
[ BLEEP ], HODL THE MOON, BOYS,
JUST REMEMBER THAT!
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, JUST.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
DID HE CALL ME A BOOMER?
>> Guillermo: YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I AM A VERY YOUNG MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHY HE WOULD SAY
ANYTHING LIKE THAT. ALL RIGHT. WE GOT A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT. FLORENCE PUGH IS WITH US.
SHE IS IN THE NEW MARVEL MOVIE "BLACK WIDOW.
[ APPLAUSE ]
WE HAVE MUSIC FROM FOUSHEE. BE RIGHT BACK WITH DJ KHALED, SO
STICK AROUND!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: OH, LOOK AT THAT. MURAL OF THE GREAT KOBE BRYANT
THAT WAS UNVEILED YESTERDAY RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM US
AT HOLLYWOOD AND HIGHLAND. THAT'S REAL GOOD, HUH?
IT'S BY AN ARTIST NAMED BRIAN PETERSON.
[ APPLAUSE ]
KOBE'S WATCHING OVER US FROM ACROSS THE STREET.
TONIGHT, FROM THE NEW MARVEL MOVIE "BLACK WIDOW,"
FLORENCE PUGH IS WITH US.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
ALL THE WAY FROM ENGLAND. THEN LATER, SHE IS APPLE MUSIC'S
UP NEXT ARTIST. HER NEW ALBUM CALLED "TIME
MACHINE" CAME OUT TODAY. MUSIC FROM FOUSHEE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
NEXT WEEK, WE ARE BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH LIAM NEESON,
TOM HIDDLESTON, WIZ KHALIFA, AIDY BRYANT, THE BACHELORETTE
KATIE THURSTON, JAMES PATTERSON AND BILL CLINTON.
AND WE WILL HAVE MUSIC FROM CHILD, JOHN MAYER, T‐PAIN AND
KAY‐LAHNEE, AND JACKSON BROWNE. SO PLEASE JOIN US FOR THAT.
ALL OF THAT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
OVER OUR MANY YEARS TOGETHER, OUR FIRST GUEST HAS TAUGHT ME SO
MANY THINGS, LIKE TO NEVER GO JET SKIING AT NIGHT, AND TO
ALWAYS WEAR COCOA BUT TORE BED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HIS NEW NUMBER ONE ALBUM "KHALED KHALED" IS OUT NOW.
JOINING US NOW FROM BLESS UP WORLD HEADQUARTERS IN MIAMI,
PLEASE WELCOME DJ KHALED.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HEY, KHALED, HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M GOOD, I MISS YOU, BROTHER, I AIN'T TALKED TO YOU
IN A MINUTE. I'VE BEEN WORKING VERY HARD, HOW
ARE YOU DOING?
>> Jimmy: I'M GOOD. I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE TO FLY. pI
UP AT HOME IS GOOD FOR YOU, RIGHT?
>> THIS ZOOM THING IS A‐OKAY WITH YOU. I LIKE ZOOM NOW.
WE SAVE SO MUCH MONEY, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
YOU CAN WEAR A NICE SILK SHIRT WITH SOME NICE BASKETBALL
SHORTS, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? BECAUSE ZOOM IS JUST STRAIGHT
HEAD SHOTS, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT.
>> Jimmy: I TELL YOU, KHALED, YOU COULD HAVE WORN THAT HERE,
YOU NEVER HAVE TO FEEL SELF‐CONSCIOUS ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE
WEARING WHEN YOU COME HERE IN PERSON, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT.
>> THANK YOU, MY BROTHER, THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO ASK YOU A COUPLE OF THINGS.
I KNOW YOU KNOW A LOT OF STUFF, YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
WHAT ARE YOU HEARING ABOUT UFOs?
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT ARE YOUR INSIDE SOURCES TELLING YOU THERE IN FLORIDA?
>> WELL, I SUGGEST EVERYBODY JUST MEDITATE AND TELL THEM
COOL WITH THEM. YOU WANT TO BE ‐ SO WHEN THEY OFFICIALLY MAKE IT
KNOWN THAT THEY'RE HERE, THEY GONNA KNOW WHO SAYING THINGS
THINKING THEY NOT COOL. ME PERSONALLY, I FEEL THAT
THEY'RE COOL. I'M LIKE, WHEN THEY COME, LET'S
GET SOMETHING TOGETHER, LET'S BUILD, LET'S BUILD SOME
PARTNERSHIPS, LET'S HUSTLE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I LIKE THAT, I LIKE THAT. YOU KNOW, IT COULDN'T HURT,
THAT'S FOR SURE. BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.
WHEN THEY COME DOWN, SAY TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER, I'M TAKING THEM
RIGHT TO YOUR HOUSE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> HEY, MAN. HEY, AND THIS IS THE HOUSE OF
LOVE, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? WE REPRESENT LOVE AND POSITIVITY.
ALL THE ALIENS, WE GOT NOTHING BUT LOVE.
LET'S GET MONEY TOGETHER, LET'S DO IT BIG.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU. KHALED, A TYPICAL FRIDAY NIGHT
WHAT WOULD YOU BE UP TO, WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING?
>> USUALLY IN THE STUDIO FRIDAY NIGHT BUT THE ALBUM IS OUT NOW.
I'M JUST WORKING OUT OF MY BACKYARD.
I BEEN HANGING OUT WITH MY FAMILY, MY QUEEN, MY TWO BOYS,
ENJOYING THIS BEAUTIFUL WEATHER. AT THE SAME TIME, I'M WORKING
OUT THE BACKYARD, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, PHONES, EMAILS, MEETING.
THE WEATHER'S SO BEAUTIFUL IN MIAMI, DON'T FEEL LIKE WORK.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE A BIG BASKETBALL FAN.
HAVE YOU SPOKEN, TEXTED, COMMUNICATED WITH ANY OF THE
LAKERS AFTER LAST NIGHT'S GAME?
>> NO, BUT YOU KNOW, SHOUT‐OUT TO THE LAKERS.
SHOUT‐OUT TO EVERYBODY. I WANT TO GIVE A BIG SHOUT‐OUT
TO MIAMI HEAT, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
PAT RILEY SAID SOMETHING TODAY, I WANT TO READ A QUOTE THAT HE
SAID, LET ME GET IT OFF MY PHONE.
>> Jimmy: OKAY. I'M ADMIRING THE HEAT MAJOR KILO
GO THAT YOU HAVE THERE.
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU'VE COMBINED YOUR PERSONAL LOW GO WITH THE MIAMI
HEAT'S LOGO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
DON'T THINK IT WENT UNNOTICED, DJ KHALED.
>> YOU KNOW, I GOT TO REP IT. THIS IS WHAT PAT RILEY SAID.
HE SAID, WE READY TO MOVE FORWARD, WE KNOW WHAT WE HAVE TO
DO AND WE'LL DO IT. I LIKE THAT TALK.
[ APPLAUSE ]
MIAMI TALK, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? PAT RILEY AND THE WHOLE TEAM.
>> Jimmy: I DON'T THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE REALIZE THAT KHALED IS
YOUR LEGAL NAME.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: YOUR FIRST NAME IS KHALED, YOUR LAST NAME IS
KHALED, AND THAT HAS BEEN THE CASE SINCE YOU WERE A BABY.
>> YES. MY FIRST AND LAST NAME IS THE
SAME. WHEN I WAS A KID IN SCHOOL, NOBODY WOULD BELIEVE ME.
YOU KNOW, IF I EVER GOT PULLED OVER, NOBODY BELIEVED ME.
I HAD TO PULL OUT THE I. D. THEY STILL DIDN'T BELIEVE ME.
REAL I. D., IT SAID "KHALED KHALED."
THE NAME OF MY ALBUM "KHALED KH KHALED," I WANTED TO WAIT AT A
CERTAIN TIME TO NAME THE ALBUM "KHALED KHALED."
I KNEW I WAS GOING TO NAME IT ONE DAY.
12th ALBUM, THIS IS THE RIGHT TIME, "KHALED KHALED" REPRESENTS
THE LIGHT, THE LOVE. I WANTED TO BRING THE LIGHT
THROUGH THESE HARD TIMES. IT FEELS LIKE THE LIGHT IS JUST
CONNECTING WITH EVERYBODY RIGHT NOW, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WE CAN SEE YOU AND YOUR TWO VERY CUTE LITTLE BOYS,
HOW OLD ARE THE BOYS NOW?
>> ASSAD IS 4 YEARS, 4 1/2, 5 IN OCTOBER.
AND THEN ALLAN IS 1 1/2, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
TODAY ACTUALLY ASSAD GRADUATED FROM SPANISH CLASS.
>> Jimmy: OH!
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> YES. HE GRADUATED FROM WHAT THEY CALL
THAT, LIKE PRESCHOOL? BEFORE KINDERGARTEN?
PRESCHOOL, RIGHT?
>> Jimmy: PRESCHOOL, YEAH.
>> HE GRADUATED FROM PRESCHOOL.
>> Jimmy: OH, HOW NICE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> IT'S BEEN EXCITING OVER HERE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THERE'S A LOT GOING ON.
NOW THESE KID S, YOUR OLDER SON WAS EXECUTIVE PRODUCER ON YOUR
LAST ALBUM.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: NOW THEY'RE BOTH EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS.
>> TRUE.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE OUTNUMBERED, YOU'RE ONLY ONE EXECUTIVE
PRODUCER. LIKE IF THEY WANTED THE BABY
SHARK SONG TO BE ON THE ALBUM, WOULD THEY BE ABLE TO OUTVOTE
YOU AND PUT IT ON AN ALBUM?
>> YES. ABSOLUTELY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
MY KIDS FSH THE BOSSES. EVERYTHING'S FOR MY KIDS, YOU
KNOW THAT.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE QUITE A ROSTER OF FAMOUS MUSICIANS,
RAPPERS, ET CETERA, ON THIS ALBUM.
IN FACT, SO MANY, I CAN'T EVEN MENTION THEM ALL.
TWO JUSTINS, BIEBER AND TIMBERLAKE.
TWO BABIES, LIL AND DUH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND THREE LILS. LIL WAYNE, LIL BABY, LIL DIRK ON
THE ALBUM.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S PRETTY CRAZY. ON TOP OF THAT, BEYONCE IS ON
THE ALBUM.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: SHE DOES WHAT ON THE ALBUM? TELL US EXACTLY.
>> SO THERE'S A SONG ON MY ALBUM CALLED "SORRY NOT SORRY"
FEATURES CHANGE, JAY‐Z, NAS, THEN THE BEY‐HIVE.
AND THEN BEYONCE.
AND BEYONCE ON JAY VERSE, DON'T
FORGET ABOUT THAT BEING, THIS BEING THAT BEING.
SHE CAME IN AND SAID, HEY. KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
>> Jimmy: AND THAT'S IT?
>> THAT'S IT.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> SHE DID THE AD LIB BUT SHE HAD THE BEY‐HIVE, YOU KNOW, TO
CLOSE OUT THE RECORD WITH SOME BEAUTIFUL HARMONIES.
AND SPEAKING OF BEYONCE, I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BLESSING
ME. SHOUT‐OUT TO JAY‐Z AND NAS.pTHA
COME TRUE FOR ME.
>> Jimmy: THOSE GUYS USED TO NOT LIKE EACH OTHER AND YOU REUNITED
THEM ON THIS ALBUM, THAT'S PRETTY CRAZY.
>> YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT, AT THE END OF THE DAY ‐‐ YOU KNOW, THE
PAST, THEY FIXED THAT AWHILE AGO. BUT TO GET THEM ON A RECORD AND
A TALENT LIKE THIS, YES, IT'S A BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT.
THEY'VE BEEN BROTHERS, BUT NOW THE WORLD GET TO SEE IT ON A
MUSICAL LEVEL. AND THEN NOT ONLY DO THEY GET TO
HEAR IT, THEY GET TO WATCH THE VIDEO.
I GOT THEM TO SHOOT THE VIDEO, WHICH WAS A BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT .
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I BET. I BET. WAS IT TENSE AT ALL?
>> NO, NO, NO, NO. BEAUTIFUL ENERGY. PURE LAUGHTER.
YOU KNOW, JUST VIBES, BROTHERHOOD.
YOU KNOW, WE WAS TALKING FAMILY, WE TALKING ABOUT HUSTLING, WE
TALKING ABOUT JUST MUSIC ‐‐ THOSE ARE BROTHERS.
WE'RE ALL BROTHERS, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
[ APPLAUSE ]
DJ KHALED, THIS IS YOUR SINGLE "POPSTAR" FEATURING DRAKE.
THIS IS A LIVE OWL ON YOU?
>> YES, THAT'S A REAL OWL. SEE, WHEN KA KHALED AND DRAKE
CONNECT, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, THE OWL AND THE KEY, THE KEY IN
HIS MOUTH ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE THE OWL?
>> DRAKE'S THE OWL.
>> Jimmy: DRAKE'S THE OWL?
>> WE ALL CONNECTED. WHEN THE OWL AND KEY CONNECT,
KHALED AND DRAKE CONNECT. WHEN WE COLLIDE, IT'S ALWAYS BIG.
MATTER OF FACT, TO ME, IT'S THE BEST COLLABORATION EVER WHEN
KHALED AND DRAKE CONNECT. THEY'RE ALWAYS BIG ANTHEMS,
THEY'RE ALWAYS TIMELESS, THEY'RE ALWAYS EXCITEMENT.
AND THE FANS, THEY LOVE WHEN WE CONNECT.
>> Jimmy: OF COURSE THEY DO.
>> IT BECOMES A ‐‐ IT BECOMES AN EXPERIENCE, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
SAYING?
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, IT'S NOT 1 PLUS 1 EQUALS 2, IT'S 1 PLUS 1 EQUALS
A MILLION.
>> ANOTHER ONE, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: ANOTHER ONE, ANOTHER ONE.
AND KHALED, DID THE ‐‐ I HAVE TO KNOW, DID THE OWL CHOKE ON THE
KEY?
>> NO, HE DIDN'T CHOKE ON THE KEY, BUT HE DEFINITELY CLAWED MY
NECK UP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. PUT SOME HOLES IN MY THROAT,
THROUGH THE SILK SHIRT. I HAVE TO BE HONEST AT ALL TIMES.
>> Jimmy: DJ KHALED IS WITH US.
>> MY FACE IS SCRUNCHING. HE WAS REALLY ‐‐ KNOW WHAT I
MEAN?
>> Jimmy: I DON'T BLAME YOU. THIS LOOKS TERRIFYING TO ME.
NEXT TIME, PHOTOSHOP. DJ KHALED IS WITH US.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>>> YO, THE VOCALS ARE SENDING! YO!
THE VOCALS ARE SENDING!
YO, CHECK IT! THE VOCALS IS IN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THAT IS DJ KHALED. VERY EXCITED.
THE VOCALS HAVE COME IN. IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU WERE SAYING
JIMMY. WERE YOU TALKING TO ME? OR AM I JUST AN EGO MANIAC?
>> THAT WAS MY GREAT FRIEND JAMIE, SHOUT‐OUT TO JAMIE,
SHOUT‐OUT TO JESSE COLLINS, JAMIE, WHAT'S UP?
>> Jimmy: DJ KHALED, WHOSE VOCALS CAME IN THAT YOU WERE SO
EXCITED ABOUT?
>> WELL, THAT ONE WAS RODDY RICCH.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> I JUST WOKE UP, WHO WAS IN THE STUDIO THE WEEK BEFORE, WHO
WAS CATCHING A VIBE. HE SENT THE VOCALS BACK TO THE
TRACK THAT I PRESENTED TO HIM. AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO WORK
WITH HIM, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
I WAS HOPING THIS COULD HAPPEN. HE SURPRISED ME ONE MORNING.
I WAS WIDE AWAKE, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
I LOOKED AT MY TEXT, IT WAS THE VOCALS, AND I WAS LISTENING TO
THEM ON MY PHONE. AND THAT WAS MY REAL EXCITEMENT
REACTION BY HEARING THE VOCALS AND EXCITED TO GET HIM ON MY
ALBUM, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
>> Jimmy: YOU HAD THE PRESENCE OF MIND TO TURN ON THE CAMERA
AND SHOOT YOURSELF AS YOU RAN WITH THAT EXCITEMENT GOING,
BECAUSE YOU KNEW ‐‐
>> WHAT IT IS, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, I LIKE FOR MY FANS TO BE
INVOLVED.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> WITH THE PROCESS.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> MAKING THE ALBUM. BUT AT THE SAME TIME FEEL THE
TRUE ENERGY FROM ME. BECAUSE I'M EXCITED TO GIVE THE
FANS THIS INCREDIBLE RECORD AND RECORDS OF THE ALBUM.
SO MY FANS IS ENGAGED WITH ME FROM THE BEGINNING, FROM
INTRODUCING THE TITLE TO MAKING THE RECORD TO PUTTING IT OUT.
AND ALSO THE EXCITEMENT OF EVERYTHING.
>> Jimmy: THEY'RE STEP BY STEP ALONG THE WAY.
I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING, ON A PERSONAL NOTE, I AM STILL ‐‐
EVERY NIGHT I SLATHER MYSELF UP WITH COCOA BUTTER BECAUSE YOU
INTRODUCED ME TO IT. AND I SMELL LIKE A BIG HERSHEY'S
CHOCOLATE BAR WHEN I GET INTO BED.
>> WELL, CHECK THIS OUT. I GOT SOMETHING NEW FOR YOU.
>> YOU KNOW, SO THE GROOMING, MEN'S GROOMING PRODUCT CALLED
BLESSED WEATHER. AND CHECK THIS OUT.
BLESSED WEATHER, OR TIME WILL TELL. BE TIMELESS, KEEP YOUR FACE
CLEAN, WHY LIVE LIFE ROUGH WHEN YOU CAN LIVE LIFE SMOOTH?
LOOK AT MY FACE, LOOK AT MY GROOM GOING? IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
I'VE ALWAYS SAID YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FACE.
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: AND KHALED, I DO WANT TO ASK YOU ONE MORE QUESTION
ABOUT THE RECORD. I MENTIONED YOU'VE GOT A BUNCH
OF THESE HUGE SUPERSTAR ARTISTS. KANYE WEST IS NOT ONE OF THE
ARTISTS ON THE ALBUM. BUT HE PLAYED A ROLE IN THE
ALBUM, IS THAT CORRECT?
>> HE ACTUALLY CAME BY MY HOUSE AWHILE AGO, A LONG TIME AGO WHEN
I WAS STARTING THE ALBUM, AROUND 8:00 A. M.
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> OBVIOUSLY I WAS SLEEPING, MY HOUSEKEEPER KNOCKED ON THE DOOR,
MR. KHALED, MR. KHALED, I THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS WRONG.
SHE'S LIKE, MR. WEST IS IN YOUR BACKYARD. I SAID, HUH?
IT WAS KANYE WEST IN MY BACKYARD. HE TOLD MY CHEF TO COOK HIM
SCRAMBLED EGGS WITH KETCHUP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
TRUE STORY. SHOUT‐OUT TO KANYE WEST, NOTHING
BUT LOVE. WE WAS KICKING IN THE BACKYARD,
IT WAS 8:00 IN THE MORNING. WE ENDED UP WALKING IN MY STUDIO.
HE PLAYED ME SOME OF HIS MUSIC, I PLAYED HIM SOME OF MY MUSIC.
I WAS JUST STARTING MY ALBUM. HIS MUSIC WAS SOUNDING
INCREDIBLE, HE LOVED MY MUSIC TOO.
THAT CLIP THAT YOU GOT WAS ME PLAYING HIM RECORDS, KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYING, OFF MY ALBUM, AND IDEAS.
BUT IT WAS INCREDIBLE, BECAUSE IT WAS NOT PLANNED.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> HE REALLY HAD SOME EGGS AND KETCHUP, AND WE REALLY KICKED IT
IN THE STUDIO, AND WE REALLY CAUGHT A VIBE.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE GETTING OPINIONS
FROM SOMEBODY WHO PUTS KETCHUP ON HIS EGGS?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I LIKE KETCHUP ON MY EGGS TOO.
I LOVE KETCHUP, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
I PUT BARBECUE SAUCE, TOO, EITHER ONE I'M GOOD WITH.
>> Jimmy: YOU'VE GOT KETCHUP ON YOUR EGGS AND PAPAYAS UNDER YOUR
ARMS RIGHT NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I GOT FRUIT ALL OVER ME RIGHT NOW, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
YOU KNOW? YOU KNOW, WE LIVE THAT ‐‐ WE
LIVE A LIFE, JIMMY, WE LIVE A LIFE.
>> Jimmy: YOU SEEM TO BE HAVING A GREAT TIME.
AND IT'S ALWAYS SO MUCH FUN TO TALK TO YOU.
IF YOU FIND ANYTHING OUT ABOUT THE UFOs, PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL,
OKAY?
>> NO PROBLEM, NO PROBLEM. UFOs, ALIENS, NOTHING BUT LOVE,
JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: NOTHING BUT LOVE. SHOUT‐OUT TO THE ALIENS, BLESS
UP, AND ANOTHER ONE. "KHALED KHALED," EVERYBODY,
THAT'S THE ALBUM.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
IT'S OUT NOW. DJ KHALED. THANKS, KHALED.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH FLORENCE PUGH!
>> Jimmy: HEY, NOW. MUSIC FROM FOUSHEE IS ON THE WAY.
OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN OSCAR‐NOMINATED ACTRESS YOU KNOW
FROM "LITTLE WOMEN," AND NOW, AS THE SPY SLASH ASSASSIN
YELENA BELOVA IN "BLACK WIDOW." IT COMES TO THEATERS AND DISNEY
PLUS PREMIER ACCESS JULY 9th. SAY HELLO TO FL3 FLORENCE PUGH!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M GOOD, THANK YOU, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: I'M GOOD. YOU'RE IN LONDON?
>> I AM, IT'S NIGHT‐NIGHTTIME.
>> Jimmy: HOW IS IT IN LONDON? DO YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH YOUR
FAMILY OR A HOTEL?
>> BECAUSE I'VE BEEN AWAY FOR THEM SO LONG, I USUALLY GO BACK
TO MY FAMILY.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU SLEEP IN YOUR OWN ROOM, YOUR CHILDHOOD BED?
>> I DO, THERE'S MY TEENAGE PICTURES UP.
>> Jimmy: THEY'VE GOT IT ALL.
>> IT'S NICE.
>> Jimmy: IT'S THE WORST WHEN YOU COME HOME AND THEN ‐‐ LIKE
MY MOTHER ALMOST IMMEDIATELY CONVERTED MY ROOM TO HER OFFICE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELL, NO, WHAT HAPPENS IN MY FAMILY IS THERE'S USUALLY AN
ADDITIONAL ANIMAL IN THE HOUSE.
>> Jimmy: OH, REALLY? AN ACTUAL ANIMAL?
>> NO, MY DAD IS REALLY GOOD AT HOMING ANIMALS OUT OF THE BLUE.
SO WHEN I CAME BACK THIS TIME, THERE WAS A COCKRELL LIVING AT
THE BOTTOM OF MY STAIRS CALLED HOUDINI.
>> Jimmy: A CHICKEN?
>> YEAH, A CHICKEN.
>> Jimmy: WHY IS THE CHICKEN'S NAME HOUDINI?
>> BECAUSE HE ALWAYS ESCAPES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I SEE. YOU PUT LITTLE CHICKEN‐SIZED
HANDCUFFS ON HOUDINI?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: SEE IF HE CAN GET OUT? ALL RIGHT.
IS THERE ‐‐ THAT'S THE NEW ANIMAL LIVING IN YOUR HOUSE.
ARE YOU SHARING A COOP?
>> YEAH, YEAH. I SHARE WITH THE HENS.
THE COCKRELL.
>> Jimmy: LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, WHAT WAS IT, RIGHT AFTER
YOU GOT THE OSCAR NOMINATION FOR "LITTLE WOMEN."
>> YEAH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE SAYING YOU WERE GOING TO BRING YOUR PARENTS
FOR YOUR PLUS‐TWO. DID YOU BRING YOUR PARENTS TO
THE SHOW?
>> I BROUGHT BOTH OF THEM. THEY BOTH CAME.
WHICH I DIDN'T THINK THAT WAS GOING TO BE A POSSIBILITY, AND
THEY BOTH FOUND A WAY TO COME, WHICH WAS AMAZING.
>> Jimmy: HOW DID THAT GO? YOU WERE A LITTLE CONCERNED.
>> CONCERNED ONLY BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM WANTED TO COME, AND
THEY'RE BOTH BIG CHARACTERS, AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TELL THEM I
ONLY HAD ONE TICKET. THEY BOTH MANAGED TO COME AND IT
ENDED UP BEING THE WEEK OF THEIR LIVES, AND WE STILL TALK ABOUT
IT TO THIS DAY.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU GO TO THE PARTIES AND ALL THAT AFTERWARDS?
>> JUST PURE HAVOC. THEY'RE LIKE ‐‐ IT WAS LIKE
WRANGLING TODDLERS THE ENTIRE WEEK.
I WAS MORE OF THE WRANGLER THAN THEY WERE.
SO THAT WAS AN EXPERIENCE. BUT YEAH, WE WENT TO ALL THE
PARTIES.
>> Jimmy: DO THEY STAY TOGETHER? DID THEY DIVIDE AND CONQUER?
>> OH, NO, NO. THEY GO INTO A PARTY, THEN THEY
JUST SEPARATE, THEN THEY COME BACK WITH AS MANY FRIENDS ON
EACH ‐‐ THEY BASICALLY BET TO EACH OTHER HOW MANY COOL PEOPLE
THEY MET. OE OF THE FIRST PARTIES THAT I
WENT TO, I HADN'T SEEN MY MOM, I WENT TO FIND HER, I SAW SHE WAS
CHATTING TO KATE HUDSON. HEY, MOM, JUST CHECKING YOU'RE
OKAY. SHE TURNED TO ME, "WHAT?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M LIKE, CHECKING YOU'RE OKAY. SHE'S LIKE, "I'M TALKING TO KATE
HUDSON." I'M LIKE, I CAN SEE THAT, SORRY,
I'LL BACK AWAY, THEN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SHE KNOWS THE REAL MESSAGE YOU'RE CHECKING TO SEE
IF KATE HUDSON IS OKAY, RIGHT?
>> YES, YES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT ABOUT DAD? WHO DID HE GET AHOLD OF?
>> WELL, OKAY. SO FIRST OF ALL, MY DAD HAD LIKE
AN ONGOING ROMANCE ‐‐ WELL, IT WAS MORE IN HIS HEAD ‐‐ ONGOING
ROMANCE WITH RENEE ZELLWEGER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE WAS TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HER. AND SHE ENDED UP REMEMBERING HIM
ON OSCARS NIGHT. AND WENT UP TO MY MOM AND SAID,
CAN I JUST SAY YOU HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL HUSBAND?
THIS ENTIRE TIME, WE ALL THOUGHT HE HAD BEEN MAKING IT UP, THAT
HE WAS FRIENDS WITH RENEE ZELLWEGER.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
MY MOM WAS LIKE, WHAT?
>> Jimmy: DO THEY DRINK AT THESE PARTIES? DO THEY HAVE A FEW?
>> OH, WHAT DO YOU THINK, JIMMY?
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY ARE PARTIERS, THEY GO OUT AND MAKE MEMORIES.
NO, OKAY, OKAY. NO, OKAY, THIS IS THE BEST ONE.
SO BASICALLY ON OSCARS NIGHT, WE WENT TO THE MADONNA PARTY.
AND IT WAS JUST LIKE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. I HAD MY PARENTS.
THEY WENT OFF AND DID THEIR OWN THING.
AND MY DAD HAS THIS HABIT OF JUST BEFRIENDING EVERYONE.
ANYONE AND EVERYONE. AND THEN HE ALWAYS GIVES EITHER
MY NUMBER OUT TO THEM OR SAYS THAT I SHOULD GO AND SEE THEM ON
THEIR SUNDAY LUNCH OR SOMETHING. I'M ALWAYS LIKE, OH, NO.
LIKE, WHO'S BEFRIENDED WHO, WHO AM I ENTITLED TO FOR THE WEEKEND?
ALL NIGHT MY DAD COMES UP TO ME, FLORENCE, I WANT YOU TO MEET MY
FRIEND. I'M LIKE, JUST ONE SECOND, I'M
DANCING WITH JENNIFER LAWRENCE. THEN HE WOULD COME BACK AN HOUR
LATER, I WANT YOU TO MEET MY FRIEND. I'M LIKE, ONE SECOND, I'M
CHATTING TO, I DON'T KNOW, SOMEONE ELSE WHO'S INCREDIBLE.
THEN FINALLY, IN THE LOO, I'M
LIKE, DAD GRABBED ME AND HE GOES, I WANT YOU TO MEET MY
FRIEND NOEL. HE SPINS ME AROUND. IT'S NOEL GALLAGHER.
AND I LOOK AT MY DAD. I'M LIKE, DAD, THAT'S NOT YOUR
FRIEND, THAT'S NOEL GALLAGHER, YOU JUST MET HIM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO THAT'S MY DAD. AND THEN MY MOM WENT MISSING FOR
HOURS. MY MOM WAS MISSING.pAND I WAS S
WORRIED ABOUT HER. I WAS LIKE, I SHOULD GO FIGURE
OUT WHERE MOM IS. I KEEP ASKING EVERYONE, I ASKED
MY STYLIST REBECCA. OH NO, SHE'S FINE, I JUST SAW
HER. MY MOM COMES CRAWLING FROM SOMEWHERE.
SHE'S HOLDING ON TO BANISTERS AND DOORS.
I'M LIKE, MOM, ARE YOU OKAY? SHE'S LIKE, YEAH, YEAH, I'M
JUST ‐‐ I'M LIKE, WHAT HAPPENED? SHE GOES, NO, NO, I'M JUST ‐‐
I'VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH SNOOP DOGG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SO MY MOM'S WITH SNOOP DOGG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WOW, HOW ABOUT THAT, THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO
EVERYONE'S MOM, THAT'S FOR SURE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I LITERALLY HAD TO GRAB THEM BOTH AND THEN LEAVE.
COME ON, KIDS, WE'RE GOING HOME NOW, FUN IS DONE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THE ROLES HAVE REVERSED.
LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. I KNOW YOU CAN'T SAY MUCH ABOUT
THIS MOVIE, "BLACK WIDOW." WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT YOUR
CHARACTER?
>> SHE HAS REALLY COOL PONYTAILS.
>> Jimmy: COOL PONYTAILS.
>> THAT'S WHAT I CAN SAY.
>> Jimmy: SHE'S A SPY? WE KNOW THAT.
>> SHE'S A SPY, SHE'S AN ASS
ASSASSIN, SHE'S A SISTER FIGURE TO SCARLET. SHE'S PRETTY GOBY.
SHE'S GOOD AT BUTTERFLY KNIVES. THAT WAS A TRICK THAT I WAS
HAPPY TO LEARN.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?
>> Jimmy: WHATEVER YOU WANT TO TELL US, I WANT TO KNOW, YEAH.
WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
>> I CAN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. LET'S LOOK AT A CLIP, THEN WE'LL
GATHER OUR THOUGHTS. HERE WE GO.
>> OKAY.
>> WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT THING?
>> DO WHAT?
>> THAT THING YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE FIGHTING.
LIKE THE ‐‐ THIS THING THAT YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE FIGHTING.
WITH THE ARM AND THE HAIR. YOU DO A FIGHTING POSE.
IT'S A FIGHTING POSE, YOU'RE A POSEUR.
>> I'M NOT A POSEUR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THAT IS REALLY FUNNY. THIS LOOKS GOOD.
THIS LOOKS LIKE A GOOD ONE. HOW COME YOU DON'T HAVE A COOL
SUPERHERO NAME? YOU NEED A NICKNAME, YOU KNOW?
>> I WAS THINKING THIS THE OTHER DAY. YELENA ‐‐ HOW CAN I SHORTEN
THAT? THEN I WAS LIKE, YELLE!
[ LAUGHTER ]
I REALIZED THAT WASN'T COOL.
>> Jimmy: I LIKE YELLE, THE LOUDEST SUPERHERO IN THE WORLD.
>> YO, IT'S YELLE COMING DOWN THE STREET!
>> Jimmy: "BLACK WIDOW" COMES TO THEATERS AND DISNEY PLUS PREMIER
ACCESS ON JULY 9th. FLORENCE PUGH, THANK YOU,
FLORENCE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
TAKE CARE. WE'LL BE BACK WITH FOUSHEE!
>> Jimmy: AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR MUSIC. THIS IS THE "TIME MACHINE"
PROJECT, WITH THE SONG "MY SLIME."
FROM THE CAROUSEL AT THE SANTA MONICA PIER, FOUSHEE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
♪ YOU'RE MY SLIME
MY PARTNER IN CRIME WE JUST BLEW A DAY BUT
YOU'RE STILL ON MY MIND ♪
♪ LET'S GO TO
PARIS SOME TIME LET'S SHOOT THE SIP WINE LA LA LA ♪
♪ FELL FOR THE GOOD GUY
HE DON'T TRIP WE TAKE TRIPS IT'S TIGHT LA LA LA ♪
♪ TAILOR FIT IT'S LIGHT
TAILOR FIT IT'S LIGHT ♪
♪ GORILLA GRIP IT'S TIGHT
GOT HIM SWEATING BRICKS TONGUE TIED ♪
♪ I WENT AND GOT
A NEW BOYFRIEND CAUSE THE OLD ONE GOT TIRED ♪
♪ LET'S ROLL GET FRIED
GET YOUR FORK AND KNIFE ♪
♪ I KNEW HE HAD AN APPETITE
WHEN HE SAID THIS IS ALL MINE ♪
♪ YOU'RE MY SLIME
MY PARTNER IN CRIME WE JUST BLEW A DAY BUT
YOU'RE STILL ON MY MIND ♪
♪ LET'S GO TO
PARIS SOME TIME
OH OOH OOH MMM ♪
♪ LET'S GO TO
PARIS SOME TIME OOH OOH OOH MMM ♪
♪ LET'S GO TO
PARIS SOME TIME ♪
♪ EVERYONE LEAVE ME ALONE
EVERYONE'S SO DISAPPOINTING BUT YOU ♪
♪ I WOULD RATHER
BE WITH NO ONE YOU MAKE ME WANT
TO BE WITH SOMEONE ♪
♪ YOU'RE MY SLIME
MY PARTNER IN CRIME WE JUST BLEW A DAY BUT
YOU'RE STILL ON MY MIND ♪
♪ LET'S GO TO
PARIS SOME TIME ♪
♪ STILL ON MY MIND
LET'S GO TO PARIS SOME TIME ♪
♪ STILL ON MY MIND
LET'S GO TO PARIS SOME TIME ♪
♪ LET'S SHOOT THE
SIP WINE LA LA LA FELL FOR THE GOOD GUY
LA LA LA ♪
♪ LET'S GO TO PARIS SOME TIME ♪
THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK DJ KHALED, FLORENCE PUGH,
FOUSHEE, HALEY JOEL OSMENT AND JILLIAN TOO.
THANK YOU, GILLIAN, YOU REALLY HELD IT TOGETHER TONIGHT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. PLEASE TRY TO ENJOY THE NEXT
71 HOURS WITHOUT ME. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
HAVE A HECK OF A WEEKEND, AND GOOD NIGHT.