>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!"
TONIGHT, EMMA STONE, RORY SCOVEL, AND MUSIC FROM
CHLOE MORIONDO. AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WOW, THANK YOU. HI, EVERYONE.
I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
THANK YOU FOR JOINING US ON
A BIG NIGHT, IT'S "FRIENDS" REUNION NIGHT IN AMERICA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S RIGHT. THEY MIGHT NOT BE THERE FOR YOU
ANYMORE, BUT WE ARE. RIGHT, GUILLERMO?
>> Guillermo: THAT'S RIGHT, JIMMY.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT. WE ARE COMING TO YOU FROM
STUDIO 4H IN HOLLYWOOD. YOU KNOW, WE HAVEN'T HAD A
STUDIO AUDIENCE IN WELL OVER A YEAR.
AT FIRST, I DID THE SHOW FOR NO ONE AT HOME. WHICH WAS SAD.
AND NOW, I'VE BEEN DOING A SHOW FOR OUR STAFF.
WHICH IS SOMEHOW EVEN SADDER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO TO LIVEN THINGS UP, WE'VE BEEN INVITING ONE OR TWO
VACCINATED PEOPLE PER WEEK TO SIT IN OUR AUDIENCE.
TONIGHT WE ARE JOINED BY ‐‐ WHAT IS YOUR NAME, SIR?
>> MY NAME IS GAVIN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: GAVIN, HOW ARE YOU? THANKS FOR BEING WITH US.
>> GREAT TO BE HERE.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?
>> I HATE TO ADMIT THIS. IN POLITICS, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE IN POLITICS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT DO YOU DO IN POLITICS?
>> I'M A GOVERNOR, I'M A GOVERNOR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
EVERY STATE'S GOT ONE, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: OF A STATE?
>> OF A STATE, IMAGINE THAT.
>> Jimmy: OH, OF CALIFORNIA?
>> OF CALIFORIA.
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S AN INTERESTING JOB, THAT IS FUN?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, I MEAN ‐‐ YOU'RE ASKING ME IF BEING GOVERNOR OF
CALIFORNIA IS FUN?
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> THIS LAST YEAR, IT'S BEEN A HELL OF A LOT OF FUN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S BEEN GREAT.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: SO YOU MIGHT KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NEW LOTTERY
PLANNED.
>> YES, SIR.
>> Jimmy: FOR PEOPLE WHO GET VACCINATED HERE IN CALIFORNIA.
HOW DOES THAT WORK, EXACTLY? AND KEEP IN MIND, WE CAN'T
UNDERSTAND A SINGLE WORD YOU'RE SAYING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> JUNE 15th, THESE DAMN THINGS ARE TAKEN OFF.
>> Jimmy: JUNE 15th?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
CAN WE GET AN AUDIENCE ON JUNE 15th?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU HEARD IT, THE GOVERNOR SAID.
>> THAT'S IT.
>> Jimmy: SO WHAT, PEOPLE WILL GET ENTERED IN THE LOTTERY IF
THEY ‐‐
>> EVERYBODY THAT'S GOTTEN VACCINATED IN CALIFORNIA IS
AUTOMATICALLY ELIGIBLE. WE'VE PUT $116 MILLION UP.
ON JUNE 15th, WE'RE GOING TO DO A $15 MILLION RAFFLE, A SERIES
OF RAFFLES, $50,000 ON FRIDAY, JUNE 4th, FRIDAY, JUNE 11th, $50
GIFT CARDS, UNPRECEDENTED.
>> Jimmy: ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN VACCINATED?
>> BEEN VACCINATED AND ENCOURAGING NEW PEOPLE TO GET
VACCINATED.
>> Jimmy: WHAT IF YOU WERE VACCINATED, YOU'RE ONE OF THE
SMART ONES WHO GOT VACCINATED, DO YOU STILL GET IN THE RAFFLE?
>> IN SOME OF THE STATES THEY'RE DOING RAFFLES BUT THEY DON'T
INCLUDE SPOKES THAT DID THE RIGHT THING EARLY.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> WE'RE INCLUDING EVERYBODY THAT DID IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: EXACTLY. WHAT IF YOU GOT VACCINATED UNDER
THE NAME "CARLOS DANGER"?
[ LAUGHTER ]
WOULD YOU STILL BE ‐‐ I MEAN, WOULD ONE STILL BE ELIGIBLE?
>> JIMMY, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU'RE ASKING THAT QUESTION.
[ LAUGHTER ]
FASCINATING, REALLY FASCINATING.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU ELIGIBLE?
>> I AM NOT.
>> Jimmy: FOR THE LOTTERY?
>> FOR THE RECORD, NO, BUT YOU ARE, COUPLE ME.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: GREAT, I'D LIKE TO WIN THAT.
>> I MEAN, YOU NEED THE MONEY, KIM KIMMEL, OKAY?
>> Jimmy: HOW MAD WOULD EVERYBODY BE IF I WON?
HEY, ARE YOU GOING TO DO A DRAW THE BALL TYPE OF THING ON TV?
>> WHATEVER, IF YOU'VE GOT CREATIVE IDEAS, I'LL ALL EARS.
>> Jimmy: I THINK WE'VE GOT A GUY WHO COULD BE REALLY GOOD AT
DRAWING BALLS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> UNBELIEVABLE.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, SO YOU'RE NOT JUST THE GOVERNOR TONIGHT,
YOU'RE THE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
>> I AM, I AM.
>> Jimmy: IT'S A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY.
>> I AM THE ONE.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU'RE USED TO RESPONSIBILITY, BUT THIS IS MORE.
FOR ME PERSONALLY, THIS IS MORE. ALSO NO BATHROOM BREAKS, IT
DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO, OKAY?
[ LAUGHTER ]
GOVERNOR NEWSOM IS OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE TONIGHT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YOU KNOW, THE HOLIDAY WEEKEND IS ALMOST UPON US.
THINGS ARE LOOSENING UP. I AM READY FOR THIS WEEKEND.
I AM VAXXED AND BIKINI WAXED. FORMER PRESIDENT EL CRAPPO
POSTED A MEMORIAL DAY MESSAGE ON HIS WEBSITE TODAY.
HE WROTE, "WITH MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND COMING UP, TOMORROW,
PEOPLE START DRIVING IN THE BIGGEST AUTOMOBILE DAYS OF THE
YEAR." I'M SORRY TO SAY THE GASOLINE
PRICES THAT YOU WILL BE CONFRONTED WITH ARE FAR HIGHER
THAN THEY WERE JUST A SHORT NUMBER OF MONTHS AGO WHERE WE
HAD GASOLINE UNDER $2 A GALLON. REMEMBER, AS YOU'RE WATCHING THE
METER TICK, AND YOUR DOLLARS PILE UP, HOW GREAT OF A JOB
DONALD TRUMP DID AS PRESIDENT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SOON, RUSSIA AND THE MIDDLE EAST WILL BE MAKING A FORTUNE ON OIL,
AND YOU WILL BE SAYING HOW GOOD IT WAS TO HAVE ME AS YOUR
PRESIDENT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WASN'T IT GREAT TO BE ENERGY INDEPENDENT, BUT WE ARE ENERGY
INDEPENDENT NO MORE. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME.
OTHER THAN THAT, HAVE A GREAT MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
HE'S JUST A CRAZY OLD MAN SHOUTING AT PIGEONS NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE SEEMS TO FORGET THE REASON GAS PRICES WERE LOW WAS BECAUSE
WE HAD NO PLACE TO GO! WE HAD NOWHERE TO DRIVE.
THERE WAS A TERRIBLE VIRUS KILLING OUR GRANDPARENTS.
WHEN I WAS PRESIDENT, WE SPENT MONEY ON PORN STARS, NOT
GASOLINE!
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
34 MILLION AMERICANS ARE EXPECTED TO HIT THE ROAD THIS
WEEKEND. ANOTHER 2.5 MILLION HAVE PLANS
TO FLY, WHICH IS WAY UP FROM THE SAME TIME LAST YEAR.
THE TSA SAYS EXPECT LONG LINES AT THE AIRPORT.
I'M EVEN EXCITED TO SEE THE TSA. I'M EVEN EXCITED TO GO ‐‐
WHEN THAT WAND TOUCHES MY INNER THIGH?
I'M GONNA LOOK THE AGENT RIGHT IN THE EYES AND SAY "I MISSED
YOU TOO, BIG GUY."
[ LAUGHTER ]
I REALLY DID. LAST NIGHT IN NEW YORK, THE
KNICKS WON THEIR FIRST PLAYOFF GAME SINCE 2013.
THIS WAS THE SCENE OUTSIDE MADISON SQUARE GARDEN.
KEEP IN MIND, THEY WON ONE GAME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT MIGHT BE THE SADDEST HAPPINESS I'VE EVER SEEN.
THE FIRST ROUND OF THE NBA PLAYOFFS IS UNDER WAY.
LAST NIGHT IN PHILADELPHIA, RUSSELL WESTBROOK OF THE
WASHINGTON WIZARDS WAS HEADED TO THE LOCKER ROOM, GOT AN INJURY.
SOME SIXERS FAN DUMPED A BAG OF POPCORN ON HIS HEAD, AND HE WAS
NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT. IT FELT LIKE A MAFIA MOVIE AND
WESTBROOK WAS BEING SENT A MESSAGE BY ONE OF ORVILLE
REDENBACHER'S GOONS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
PLAYERS INCLUDING LeBRON JAMES ARE CALLING FOR MORE PROTECTION.
BUT THAT'S PHILADELPHIA. I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT ‐‐ THEY
FINALLY GET TO GO TO GAMES AGAIN, IMMEDIATELY THEY'RE
DUMPING SNACKS ON OPPOSING PLAYERS' HEADS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IN GEORGIA, THE GOVERNOR OF GEORGIA, BRIAN KEMP, WAS ON FOX
NEWS GETTING STROKED BY LAWRENCE JONES FOR DECIDING NOT TO TAKE A
HARD STANCE IN SUPPORT OF VACCINES.
AND AT THE END OF THEIR CHAT, KEMP MADE A STATEMENT ABOUT
FREEDOM THAT WAS SO ELOQUENT, I IMMEDIATELY STARTED EMBROIDERING
IT ON A PILLOW.
>> THEY WANT TO TAKE THE VACCINE, IT IS AVAILABLE TO THEM.
IF THEY DECIDE NOT TO, THE STATE SHOULD NOT PUNISH THEM.
I THANK YOU FOR YOUR LEADERSHIP ON THIS ISSUE, GOVERNOR.
>> THANKS, LAWRENCE. IT IS AMERICA, THE LAND OF
THE ‐‐ HOME AND THE ‐‐ FREEDOM REIGNS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: BEAUTIFULLY PUT. I'M ALMOST IN TEARS.
GOVERNOR NEWSOM, YOU KNOW GOVERNOR KEMP FROM GOVERNOR CLUB?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I GOT TO UNPACK THAT, I'M GLAD I'M WEARING A MASK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IF YOU SEE HIM, PLEASE TELL HIM HOW MOVED WE ALL WERE
BY HIS SPEECH.
>> GOD BLESS. I'M GLAD WE SAW IT, YOU SHOULD
REPLAY IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF GOVERNORS. MYPILLOW MAN, MIKE LINDELL, IS
RUMORED TO BE PLANNING A RUN IN MINNESOTA.
BUT HE HAS NOT RECEIVED A WARM WELCOME FROM FELLOW REPUBLICAN
GOVERNORS. HE SAYS HE WAS TURNED AWAY
FROM THE ANNUAL MEETING OF THE REPUBLICAN GOVERNORS ASSOCIATION.
APPARENTLY, HE FLEW TO NASHVILLE SPECIFICALLY FOR THE EVENT, BUT
WHEN HE GOT TO THE HOTEL TO PICK UP HIS CREDENTIAL, HE SAYS THEY
TURNED HIM AWAY. HE SAYS AN EVENT COORDINATOR
TOLD HIM HE WOULD NOT BE ALLOWED AT ANY OF THE OFFICIAL EVENTS.
>> YOU ACTED LIKE I WASN'T INVITED TO THAT.
THAT'S THE ONLY REASON I CAME TO NASHVILLE.
AND I HAVE THE PASS TO PROVE IT. YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE CALLED HIM UP AND HE DID A RETRACT ‐‐ HE ADDED ON TO HIS
STORY, HE SAID, MIKE HAS THE CREDENTIALS, HE HAS THE INVITE
TO THE GOVERNOR'S MANSION, AND GUESS WHAT, HE CALLED HIM UP,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY TOLD HIM, STEVE?
THEY TOLD HIM I WASN'T INVITED.
>> Jimmy: WELL. OBVIOUSLY I NEED TO KNOW MORE
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THERE. SO WE REACHED OUT TO MIKE, AND
HE IS JOINING US NOW. MIKE LINDELL.
HEY MIKE, THANKS FOR TAKING TIME.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> OH, FOR SURE. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAD ANYTHING THE
HELL ELSE TO DO, NOW THAT I GOT TURNED AWAY FROM THE GOVERNOR'S
BALL!
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO ASK ABOUT.
IS IT TRUE YOU WERE INVITED AND THEN UNINVITED ONCE YOU GOT
THERE? BECAUSE THAT SEEMS HARD TO BELIEVE.
>> IT SURE AS HECK DID HAPPEN, JIM. AND I CAN PROVE IT.
I HAVE THE CONFIDENTIAL DOCUMENT RIGHT HERE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY. WELL, THAT LOOKS A LITTLE BIT
LIKE A CHEESECAKE FACTORY MENU TO ME.
>> THE HELL IT DOES! OH, WILL YA LOOK AT THAT? WHO ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> TOO MANY CHOICES IN THIS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> OKAY. YOU GOT ORANGE CHICKEN, YOU GOT
CHICKEN WITH ORANGE, YOU GOT A WHOLE FACTORY TURKEY ‐‐
>> Jimmy: MIKE ‐‐
>> LOOK AT THAT, TELL YOU WHAT I'LL TAKE TWO OF THE CHEESECAKE
FLATBREAD PIZZAS AND A FRIED CHEESE MARGARITA!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: MIKE, YOU'RE NOT AT THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY AND I'M
NOT A WAITER.
>> YOU SURE AS SHOOT AREN'T! THE SERVICE HERE IS TERRIBLE.
>> Jimmy: NO ‐‐
>> THE POINT IS, I'VE BEEN SHADOW‐BANNED AGAIN, THIS TIME
FROM THE REPUBLICAN GOVERNORS' ASSOCIATION, JUST BECAUSE I'M
NOT A REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR, NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN IN ANY
ASSOCIATION ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WELL THAT DOES ‐‐ IT MAKES A LITTLE BIT OF SENSE ‐‐
>> AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE I'M GETTING TOO CLOSE TO THE TRUTH
ABOUT THE DEEP STATE, LET ME TELL YOU.
THE TRUTH ABOUT THE DEEP STATE. BECAUSE I GET TOO CLOSE WHEN I
TALK TO PEOPLE, WHEN I TALK TO THEM.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>> SOMETIMES I TOUCH THEM WITH MY MOUSTACHE RIGHT ON THE LIPS!
>> Jimmy: WELL, YEAH ‐‐
>> THAT'S HOW YOU GET FIBER, FROM THE MOUSTACHE.
>> Jimmy: WELL, YEAH ‐‐ THAT IS A LITTLE WEIRD, BUT THIS DOESN'T
MAKE SENSE. WHY WOULD THEY INVITE YOU AND
THEN ONCE YOU GOT THERE, TURN YOU AWAY?
>> HOW SHOULD I KNOW? IT'S LIKE MY 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY
ALL OVER AGAIN!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE TURNED AWAY FROM YOUR 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY?
>> YES, I WAS! I GOT CANCEL‐CULTURED BECAUSE I
SHOWED UP NUDE! TWO GUYS THREW ME OUT OF ARBY'S!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OH, WAIT. YOUR 50th BIRTHDAY WAS AT ARBY'S?
>> OH, SURE IT WAS. THE BIG 5‐0.
THEY GIVE YOU FREE CURLY FRIES ON YOUR B‐DAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I DIDN'T BECOME A MILLIONAIRE BY TURNING DOWN FREE CURLY FRIES,
THAT'S FOR DARN DAMN SURE.
>> Jimmy: MIKE, HOW DID YOU BECOME A MILLIONAIRE?
>> I BECAME A MILLIONAIRE THROUGH HARD WORK, DEDICATION,
AND SELLIN' THE BEST DARNED PILLOWS A LONELY FELLA CAN HAVE
SEX WITH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY, MIKE ‐‐ NO, NO, MIKE ‐‐ SETTLE ‐‐ SETTLE DOWN.
>> YOU SETTLE DOWN, PAL! WE PAID FOR THIS.
WHERE THE HECK IS THE POPCORN SHRIMP AND DIET DR. PEPSI I
ORDERED?
>> Jimmy: MIKE, I'M NOT THE WAITER.
BUT WHILE I HAVE YOU, DO YOU THINK THERE'S ANY TRUTH TO THIS
QANON THEORY THAT ‐‐
>> YES, I DO! YES, I DO.
>> Jimmy: I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOU WHAT THE THEORY IS YET!
>> WELL, WHATEVER IT IS, I BELIEVE IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY, WELL, NO. THE THEORY THAT IS THE
GOVERNMENT IS USING UFOs TO DISTRACT US FROM VOTER FRAUD IN
THE 2020 ELECTION.
>> OH, YOU'RE DARN TOOTIN' THEY ARE! IT'S THE SAME REASON THEY
CANCELLED "LAST MAN STANDING" AND KILLED DMX!
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY DON'T WANT US TO KNOW THE TRUTH, JIMBO!
BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH! I KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT THE VOTER
FRAUD, I KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT HUNTER BIDEN, AND I KNOW THE
TRUTH ABOUT "THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
UMA THURMAN AND JANINE GALAPAGOS WERE ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
‐‐ WERE A GOSH‐DARN DELIGHT IN THIS UNDERRATED GEM FROM 1996!
WHAT A DUO! CERTIFIED FRESH ON ROTTEN
TOMATOES WITH AN 85% SCORE! BUT DOMINION WANTS YOU TO
BELIEVE IT WAS A FLOP! I SAY OPEN THE BOX OFFICE TICKET
MACHINES AND SHOW US THEIR GUTS YOU COWARDS!
SHOW US THEIR GUTS, YOU COWARDS!
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT YOU'RE DRINKING, MIKE?
>> THEY SAY IT'S OAT MILK, BUT THE LAST TIME I CHECKED, OATS
DON'T EVEN HAVE TEATS!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH. OH, GOD. YEAH.
>> WHATEVER IT IS, IT TASTES LIKE BABOON EJACULATE AND I LOVE
THAT, I'VE ALWAYS LOVED THAT. NOW WHERE THE HECK IS THAT FRIED
CHEESE MARGARITA I ORDERED?
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, MIKE. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ‐‐
>> THANK YOU JIMINY KRIMBLE. HEY, YOU WANT ME TO SEND YOU A
PILLOW? I CAN SEND YOU A MYPILLOW.
>> Jimmy: NO, THANK YOU, THAT'S OKAY.
>> YOU CAN PORK IT, WHEN YOU'RE ALONE YOU CAN PORK IT REAL
GOOD ‐‐
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU, MIKE LINDELL.
>> OH!
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO THE GOVERNOR.
GOVERNOR NEWSOM, I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS GOING TO BEHAVE LIKE THAT.
>> OH, HE NEEDS A NAP, HE NEEDS A NAP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, MAN.
>> Jimmy: WE GOT A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
RORY SCOVEL IS HERE. WE HAVE MUSIC FROM
CHLOE MORIONDO. GOVERNOR NEWSOM IS OUR STUDIO
AUDIENCE. WE'LL BE BACK WITH EMMA STONE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: TONIGHT, FROM THE NEW SERIES CALLED "PHYSICAL" ON
APPLE TV PLUS, RORY SCOVEL IS HERE. THEN LATER, SHE'S A
SINGER‐SONGWRITER AND YOUTUBER FROM DETROIT.
THIS IS HER NEW ALBUM "BLOOD BUNNY."
MUSIC FROM CHLOE MORIONDO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
NEXT WEEK, WE ARE BACK AT WORK WITH NEW SHOWS WITH MICHAEL CHE,
DAVID HARBOUR, RACHEL WEISZ, ROB RIGGLE, AND CILLIAN MURPHY,
WITH MUSIC FROM HALF‐ALIVE, WILLIE JONES, FOUSHEE AND THE
YOUNG PUNK ROCK GIRL GROUP FROM RIGHT HERE IN L. A.
THAT IS SWEEPING THE NATION, THE LINDA LINDAS WILL BE WITH US
TOO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT A LOT. OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN
OSCAR‐WINNING ACTRESS YOU KNOW FROM MANY FILMS OF NOTE, HER
LATEST IS THE BIG‐SCREEN ORIGIN STORY, "CRUELLA" AS IN "DE VIL."
IT COMES TO THEATERS AND ON DISNEY PLUS PREMIER ACCESS
STARTING TOMORROW. PLEASE SAY HELLO TO EMMA STONE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HEY, EMMA.
>> HELLO!
>> Jimmy: GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Jimmy: I'M GOOD, I'M VERY ‐‐ I'M DOING WELL.
AND BY THE WAY, I THINK THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU WAS BACKSTAGE AT
THE OSCARS AFTER YOU WON.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: AND THEN WE THOUGHT "LA LA LAND" WON BEST PICTURE.
>> UH‐HUH.
>> Jimmy: IT TURNED OUT THAT "LA LA LAND" HAD NOT WON BEST
PICTURE, "MOONLIGHT" HAD WON BEST PICTURE.
>> YES.
>> I WONDER WHAT YOU REMEMBER, BECAUSE I'VE NO NOT HAD A CHANCO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT CRAZY MOMENT.
DO YOU REMEMBER ANY OF THAT?
>> I THINK WE ALL WENT INTO A
SORT OF LIKE LOHALLUCINATION STATE. HOW DID YOU FEEL?
YOU'D HOSTED THE OSCARS ON STAGE FOR HOURS, THEN COMPLETE
PANDEMONIUM.
>> Jimmy: I FELT ‐‐ I WILL TELL YOU, I FELT CONFUSED, MOSTLY.
I FELT SUDDENLY FEARFUL, BECAUSE AS I WAS WALKING OFFSTAGE PEOPLE
WERE LIKE, "HEY, WAS THAT A PRANK THAT YOU PULLED?"
"NO, NO, THAT WASN'T A PRANK THAT I PULLED!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEN I REMEMBER YOU WERE GONE REALLY QUICKLY.
YOU WISELY GOT THE HELL OUT OF THERE. AND ‐‐
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I REMEMBER WARREN BEATTY WALKING AROUND WITH A
CARD THAT HAD YOUR NAME ON IT.
>> YES. THEN THEY KEPT TELLING ME THAT
WAS THE ONLY CARD AND THAT I WAS ‐‐ I HAVE MY CARD!
THEY WERE LIKE, BUT WARREN WOULDN'T GIVE TO IT ANYONE
BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SHOW TO IT BARRY. IT WAS A WHOLE ‐‐ IT WAS
ABSOLUTE CHAOS.
>> Jimmy: THERE WERE TWO CARDS. FOR THE RECORD, THERE WERE TWO
CARDS WITH YOUR NAME ON THEM.
>> LEARNED THAT LATER THAT NIGHT. DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
>> Jimmy: AND WARREN ‐‐
>> IT WAS WILD.
>> Jimmy: QUITE WISELY, HELD ON TO THAT CARD.
HAD HE GIVEN THAT CARD UP, NO ONE WOULD EVER HAVE KNOWN WHAT
WAS WRITTEN ON THAT CARD. BUT I SAW THAT CARD AND IT SAID,
"EMMA STONE, "LA LA LAND." YOU DID GET YOUR OSCAR, THEY
DIDN'T TAKE THAT BACK?
>> THEY DIDN'T TAKE IT BACK. YOU SENT ME SOME UNDERWEAR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: FOR HIM. TO MAKE THAT CLEAR.
>> FOR HIM. HE DOES SEEM ‐‐ YOU KNOW.
ON THE CARD HE SAID TO BRING SOME DECENCY TO YOUR HOME, WHICH
HE'S WORN THAT UNDERWEAR EVER SINCE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I'M GLAD, I'M GLAD. THERE'S TOO MUCH NUDITY GOING ON
IN PEOPLE'S HOMES NOWADAYS.
>> EXACTLY. YOU DON'T LIKE THAT NUDITY IN
THE HOME.
>> Jimmy: I WOULD THINK ‐‐ THAT WAS A WEIRD TWIST ON SOMETHING
YOU'D MAYBE BEEN FANTASIZING ABOUT SINCE YOU WERE A LITTLE
GIRL. WHEN YOU WERE A KID WHAT MOVIES
DID YOU GUYS WATCH, WHAT WERE THE BIG ONES IN YOUR HOUSE?
>> WE WATCHED A LOT OF COMEDY BECAUSE MY DAD IS A VERY BIG
KIND OF LIKE '70s AND '80s COMEDY FAN.
HE SORT OF ‐‐ WE WATCHED "THE JERK" A LOT.
WE WATCHED A LOT OF STEVE MARTIN. HE SHOWED ME ‐‐ WE'D WATCH
"PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES" AND "SHAW HANG REDEMPTION."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HOW OLD WERE YOU?
>> LIKE ABOUT 8. WE WOULD WATCH THOSE MOVIES ALL
THE TIME. I DON'T KNOW WHY WE WATCHED
"SHAWSHANK" SO OFTEN. "PLANES, TRAINS, AUTOMOBILES,"
"THE JERK," THOSE MOVIES.
>> Jimmy: IT'S GOOD FOR AN 8‐YEAR‐OLD TO LEARN WHAT PRISON
IS LIKE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH. IT IS.
>> Jimmy: I'M GOING THROUGH THAT MOVIE, THERE'S A LOT OF BAD
STUFF IN THAT.
>> THERE'S A LOT OF BAD STUFF IN THAT.
>> A LOT OF BAD LANGUAGE IN "PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES."
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: BOTH OF THOSE MOVIES ARE TWO OF MY FAVORITES.
"PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES," THAT'S ONE OF
THOSE MOVIES YOU DON'T EXPECTATION TO GET TEARED UP AT
THE END, BUT YOU DO GET TEARED UP AT THE END.
>> THAT'S ONE OF THE GREATEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME.
THAT COMBINATION OF FUNNY AND HEARTBREAKING IS PERFECT IN THAT
MOVIE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. HAVE YOU EVER MET STEVE MARTIN?
I ASSUME YOU'VE MET HIM AND TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT?
>> I'VE ‐‐ I'VE MET HIM. NO, I HAVEN'T TOLD HIM THAT.
HE'S GOING TO LEARN THIS TONIGHT THAT I'M COMPLETELY HEAD OVER
HEELS INSANE ABOUT HIM.
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, SURE. YEAH.
>> I TRY TO PLAY IT COOL WHENEVER I'VE MET HIM.
LIKE, "YOUR NAME'S STEVE? OH, THAT'S NICE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH. DO YOU FIND THAT ANYONE LIKES
THAT, WHEN YOU DO THAT? I THINK THAT PEOPLE LIKE ALWAYS
THINK, I'M GOING TO PLAY IT COOL AND ACT LIKE I DON'T CARE, THEN
THE REACTION IS USUALLY, OH, THAT ONE DOESN'T LIKE ME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, EXACTLY, NO. I DO NOT VERY OFTEN PLAY IT COOL.
BUT I THINK I'VE TRIED TO KEEP IT SEMI COOL IN FRONT OF STEVE
MARTIN, BECAUSE I'VE CRIED IN FRONT OF MULTIPLE OTHER PEOPLE.
AND IT'S GOT TO STOP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S GOT TO STOP. I HAVE THIS INSTINCT TO BURST
INTO TEARS WHEN IT'S SOMEONE THAT I'VE REALLY ADMIRED SINCE
CHILDHOOD. SO IT'S HAPPENED TOO MANY TIMES.
>> Jimmy: GIVE ME ONE. ONE PERSON YOU'VE CRIED IN FRONT
OF, YOU WERE SO EXCITED.
>> I'VE CRIED IN FRONT OF DIANE KEATON.
I DIDN'T CRY IN FRONT OF BILL MURRAY BUT I WALKED AWAY AND
CRIED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WAS IN AN ELEVATOR FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH LORNE MICHAELS
AND I TURNED INTO THE CORNER OF THE ELEVATOR AND CRIED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> I DON'T DO IT AS MUCH ANYMORE.
BUT WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BIT YOUNGER, IN MY EARLY 20s, I
WOULD. IT JUST WOULD OVERWHELM ME SO
MUCH, I WAS LIKE A CHIHUAHUA. THEN IT WOULD ‐‐ YOU KNOW.
>> Jimmy: SCENES FROM THESE MOVIES THAT YOU LOVED, WHEN YOU
WERE A KID, A YOUNG AGE WORK, YOU MEMORIZE THE MOVIES?
>> OH, YEAH. BIG‐TIME. I HAD A LOT OF "THE JERK"
MEMORIZED. I LOVED THAT. I LOVED, YOU KNOW, THE [ BLEEP ]
MONOLOGUE FROM "PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THE RENTAL CAR SCENE.
>> THE RENTAL CAR SCENE, I LOVED THE RENTAL CAR SCENE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GOT TO BE BEAUTIFUL TO HEAR OUT OF AN
8‐YEAR‐OLD'S MOUTH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, GOD, WAS IT GOOD. OH, I LOVED IT, I LOVED IT.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU REMEMBER IT STILL?
>> YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: GIVE US A LITTLE BIT OF IT.
OR A LOT OF IT, WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE.
>> OKAY. OKAY. I'LL DO IT ‐‐ I'LL DO IT BECAUSE
I WANT ‐‐ I DO ACTUALLY WANT TO HEAR THIS BLEEPED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
>> YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BLEEP IT.
>> Jimmy: WE WILL HAVE TO BLEEP IT, YEAH, FOR SURE.
>> OKAY. BUT ‐‐ OH, THIS IS NERVE‐RACKING.
LET ME SEE IF I CAN ACTUALLY DO IT LIVE.
BECAUSE I'M PROBABLY FORGET PARTS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH THINK IT THROUGH. REMEMBER ‐‐
>> OKAY, SO THIS IS ‐‐
>> Jimmy: HE'S THERE IN THE AIRPORT, AND HE WANTS HIS RENTAL
CAR.
>> YES, YES.
>> Jimmy: AND I THINK HE DIDN'T HAVE THE CONTRACT.
>> HE'S BEEN THROUGH A LOT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> HE'S BEEN THROUGH A LOT. THEY TOOK HIM TO GET HIS RENTAL
CAR, IT WASN'T THERE, AND HE GOES THROUGH THIS ENTIRE JOURNEY
TO GET BACK TO THE RENTAL CAR PLACE, AND THIS WOMAN IS LIKE
REALLY JOLLY AT THE RENTAL CAR PLACE, AND HE IS SO PISSED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OKAY. ALL RIGHT. YOU HAVE TO SAY A LINE, THOUGH.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> YOU SAY, MAY I HELP ‐‐ SO IT'S, MAY I HELP YOU?
CAN YOU DO THE IMPRESSION?
>> Jimmy: MAY I HELP YOU?
>> THAT'S PERFECT. YOU CAN START BY WIPING THAT
[ BLEEP ] DUMB‐ASS SMILE OFF
YOUR ROSY [ BLEEP ] CHEEKS. AND THEN YOU CAN GIVE ME A
[ BLEEP ] AUTOMOBILE.
A [ BLEEP ] DAT SAN, A [ BLEEP ] TOYOTA, A [ BLEEP ] MUSTANG, A
[ BLEEP ] BUICK, FOUR WHEELS AND
A SEAT. AND THEN YOU HAVE TO SAY, I
REALLY DON'T CARE FOR THE WAY YOU'RE SPEAKING.
>> Jimmy: SIR, I REALLY DON'T CARE FOR THE WAY YOU'RE SPEAKING
TO ME.
>> AND I REALLY DON'T CARE FOR THE WAY YOUR COMPANY LEFT ME IN
THE MIDDLE OF [ BLEEP ] NOWHERE, WITH [ BLEEP ] KEYS TO A
[ BLEEP ] CAR THAT ISN'T
[ BLEEP ] THERE.
AND I REALLY DIDN'T CARE TO WALK TO [ BLEEP ] WALK DOWN A
[ BLEEP ] HIGHWAY AND ACROSS A
[ BLEEP ] RUNWAY TO GET BACK
HERE AND HAVE YOU SMILE IN MY
[ BLEEP ] FACE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WANT A [ BLEEP ] CAR RIGHT
[ BLEEP ] NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> 8.
>> Jimmy: AND THEN ‐‐ EDIE SAYS SOMETHING LIKE, WELL THEN YOU'RE
[ BLEEP ]ED, OR SOMETHING,
RIGHT? AND THAT WAS THE END.
>> SHE SAYS, DO YOU HAVE YOUR PAPER OR WHATEVER?
HE GOES, I THREW IT AWAY. THEN SHE GOES, YOU'RE
[ BLEEP ]ED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WOW, BEAUTIFULLY DONE.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> THANKS.
>> Jimmy: YOU SHOULD DO MORE OF THE ACTING STUFF.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: EMMA STONE, "CRUEL ELLA" IS THE MOVIE.
MORE WITH EMMA STONE WHEN WE RETURN!
>>> WHO ARE YOU? YOU LOOK VAGUELY FAMILIAR.
>> I LOOK STUNNING. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT FAMILIAR,
DARLING.
>> YOUR HAIR, IS IT REAL?
>> I LIKE TO MAKE AN IMPACT.
>> RIGHT. WHAT WAS YOUR NAME?
>> CRUELLA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THAT IS EMMA STONE AND EMMA THOMPSON IN "CRUELLA" WHICH
OPENS IN THEATERS AND ON DISNEY PLUS PREMIER ACCESS TOMORROW.
YOU ARE FANTASTIC IN THIS MOVIE. AND EMMA THOMPSON IS GREAT IN
THE MOVIE, TOO. I HAVE TO SAY, THIS IS A ROLE
THAT, IF I WAS AN ACTOR, I WOULD NOT WANT.
BECAUSE IT IS SUCH AN ICONIC ‐‐ EVEN THOUGH IT'S ANIMATED AND
YOU'RE DOING IT ‐‐ DOING LIVE ACTION, IT'S AN ABSOLUTELY
ICONIC VILLAINESS. AND YOU CAN REALLY ‐‐ I MEAN,
YOU REALLY NAILED IT, BUT YOU CAN ALMOST ONLY SCREW IT UP,
RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH. I MEAN, THANKS FOR SAYING THAT.
IT IS SUBJECTIVE. I'M SURE MANY PEOPLE DO THINK I
SCREWED IT UP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NO, NO. I LOOKED AT THE REVIEWS TODAY,
NO ONE THINKS YOU SCREWED IT UP. IT IS REALLY GOOD.
I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT, IT IS ABSOLUTELY GREAT.
>> THANKS.
>> Jimmy: AND CRUELLA DE VIL, I
DON'T KNOW WHY THAT WOULD ESCAPE ME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
CRUELLA DE VIL, WE LEARNED HER BACKSTORY, WHICH OBVIOUSLY I'M
NOT GOING TO REVEAL ANY OF IT. DO YOU ENJOY WORKING WITH ALL
THOSE DOGS IN THE MOVIE?
>> OH, GOD. THAT WAS THE BEST PART.
>> Jimmy: OH, IT WAS?
>> THAT WAS THE BEST PART BY FAR, OH, YEAH.
IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. EXCEPT THEY DON'T LET YOU ‐‐
THESE DOGS ARE PROFESSIONAL ACTORS, AND THEY'RE BASICALLY ‐‐
THEY'RE BASICALLY LIKE THE ‐‐ THEY'RE THE SUPERSTARS OF THE
SET. LIKE NO ONE CAN REALLY SPEAK TO
THEM THE WAY YOU WANT TO SPEAK TO A DOG, BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO
PREPARE. YOU CAN'T GET THEM ALL RILED UP.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NOBODY CAN SPEAK TO THEM THE WAY
YOU WANT TO SPEAK TO A DOG?
>> YOU KNOW, YOU WANT ‐‐ I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WANT TO DO
THAT. FOR ME I'M LIKE, HEY, WAIT, HOW
ARE YOU DOING, MAN?
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT KIND OF STUFF. THEY DON'T LET YOU DO THAT.
>> Jimmy: I DID DO THAT TO A DOG ON MY BLOCK THIS MORNING AND I
REALIZED, OH, I SOUND RIDICULOUS. THIS DOG MUST THINK I'M A FOOL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE THEY'RE LOCKED IN OR SOMETHING?
>> THEY HAVE ‐‐ THEY HAVE TO GET IN THE ZONE.
IF YOU'RE DOING THAT BETWEEN TAKES, THEY'LL GET TOO ‐‐
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> SO YOU HAVE TO JUST, LIKE, LET THEM HAVE THEIR SPACE, GET
IN THE MOMENT. SO THEY PREPARE MUCH MORE THAN I
EVER HAVE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I'M TOLD THAT'S SIMILAR TO WHAT IT'S LIKE
WORKING WITH MATT DAMON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP HIM FOCUSED, YOU HAVE TO GIVE HIM A
LITTLE SNACK EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.
>> YEAH, YEAH. LITTLE PIECES OF SALAMI.
YEAH, I'VE HEARD THAT TOO.
>> Jimmy: HEY, THAT'S THE TITLE OF HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY, YOU DIDN'T
KNOW THAT?
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
THE CACKLE, THE LAUGH, THE CRUELLA DE VIL, IS CACKLE, IS
THAT WHAT YOU WOULD CALL IT?
>> CACKLE IS APPROPRIATE.
>> Jimmy: IS THAT SOMETHING THAT YOU GO IN KNOWING HOW YOU'RE
GOING TO DO IT? OR WORK WITH THE DIRECTOR AND
TRY OUT A WHOLE BUNCH OF DIFFERENT CACKLES, OR WHAT?
>> NO, I DID ‐‐ I DID ALL MY CACKLING IN THE SHOWER.
>> Jimmy: IN THE SHOWER, OKAY.
>> I DID MY CACKLING ALONE.
>> Jimmy: YOU DID YOUR CACKLING ALONE. THEN YOU INTRODUCED IT TO
EVERYONE ON THE SET. DO YOU NOW, AS FAR AS BEING
THIS, AGAIN, ICONIC DISNEY VILLAIN, DO YOU GET ‐‐ CAN YOU
GO TO DISNEYLAND ANY TIME YOU WANT NOW?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU KNOW ‐‐ THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION.
I AM ‐‐ I DO WANT TO TRY TO GO TO DISNEYLAND SOON.
BECAUSE I DO LOVE DISNEYLAND. I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY, YOU
KNOW ‐‐ HAVING BEEN IN A DISNEY MOVIE PATH TO DISNEYLAND LOOKS
LIKE. BUT I WOULD HOPE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> THAT THERE'S A ‐‐ YOU KNOW.
>> Jimmy: I WOULD HOPE SO.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: ALSO, CHILDREN MIGHT HATE YOU WHEN THEY SEE YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT'S VERY TRUE. AND I DO HAVE THAT BLACK AND
WHITE HAIR IN REAL LIFE, SO THEY'RE GOING TO KNOW IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, THOUGH.
THE PARENTS WILL DRAG THEM OVER AND THEY'LL GO, "YOU KNOW WHO
THIS IS?" AND YOU'RE GOING TO ‐‐
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: THEY'LL SAY WHO IT IS, MAYBE START CRYING OR SOMETHING.
>> THEY'LL BURST INTO TEARS.
>> Jimmy: HOW OLD WERE YOU THE FIRST TIME YOU WENT TO
DISNEYLAND?
>> I WAS ALMOST 3 THE FIRST TIME I WENT TO DISNEYLAND, BECAUSE MY
PARENTS WANTED TO GET ME IN FOR FREE.
IF YOU'RE 2 OR UNDER, YOU GO FOR FREE.
>> Jimmy: OH. THEY WERE HONEST ENOUGH?
MY PARENTS WERE LIKE ‐‐ MY PARENTS WERE CARRYING ME IN WHEN
I WAS 14.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE'S A VERY BIG 2! HE DOESN'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT!
YEAH, THAT IS A GOOD POINT. WHAT, DO YOU BRING THEIR BIRTH
CERTIFICATE OR SOMETHING? BE LIKE, I PROMISE.
>> Jimmy: ESPECIALLY BACK THEN, THERE WAS NO IDENTIFICATION.
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAD A LERNER'S PERMIT OR SOMETHING.
JUST TELL ME HOW OLD YOUR KID IS AND EVERYBODY WOULD LIE.
>> YEAH, VERY HONEST.
>> Jimmy: PROBABLY THE MOST LYING IN THE WORLD PROBABLY WENT
ON RIGHT IN THAT LINE AT DISNEYLAND.
>> YES. AND THE WHITE HOUSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: BY THE WAY, I THINK YOU MAY HAVE SAID ‐‐ REALLY,
HONESTLY, I'M NOT JOKING AT ALL. I THINK YOU MAY HAVE SET THE
RECORD FOR THE MOST USE OF THE F‐WORD ON NETWORK TELEVISION IN
ONE FIVE‐MINUTE PERIOD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
THERE CAN'T POSSIBLY ‐‐YOU HAVE TO BE NUMBER ONE.
CONGRATULATIONS.
>> FINALLY. THAT'S BEEN A GOAL FOR A LONG
TIME.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, WELL, WE'LL SEND YOU A LITTLE TROPHY, YOU CAN PUT
IT UP NEXT TO THE OSCAR IN HIS UNDERPANTS.
>> PERFECTION.
>> Jimmy: VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU. THE MOVIE IS TERRIFIC.
IT'S CALLED "CRUELLA." IT OPENS IN THEATERS AND DISNEY
PLUS PREMIER ACCESS TOMORROW. EMMA STONE, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU, EMMA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Jimmy: GOOD TO SEE YOU. BE BACK WITH RORY SCOVEL!
♪
>> Jimmy: HI, WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.
MUSIC FROM CHLOE MORIONDO IS ON THE WAY.
OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY FUNNY STANDUP COMEDIAN AND ACTOR WHO
WAS ONCE NAMED 48th COOLEST DAD IN AMERICA BY FATHERLY.COM.
HIS NEW SHOW WITH ROSE BYRNE IS "PHYSICAL," IT PREMIERES
JUNE 18th ON APPLE TV PLUS. SAY HELLO TO RORY SCOVEL.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: I'M DOING WELL. HOW'S EVERYTHING?
FAMILY GOOD, THE WHOLE DEAL?
>> EVERYTHING'S GOOD. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME ON THE
SHOW.
>> Jimmy: THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
>> THIS IS WILDLY SURREAL. TO BE HERE, ON ANY DAY, IS CRAZY.
BUT TO BE HERE AFTER THIS PAST YEAR IS BIZARRE.
I FEEL LIKE MAYBE I'M HIGH OR SOMETHING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IS THAT POSSIBLE THAT YOU ARE?
>> I MIGHT HAVE GOT INTO THE GUMMIES!
NOW THAT WE KNOW WHAT'S IN THEM, YOU KNOW.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU BEEN DOING STANDUP?
>> I'M BACK OUT THERE. I GOT OUT THERE LAST WEEKEND.
AND I KIND OF THOUGHT THAT, YOU KNOW, GETTING BACK ON STAGE, IT
WOULD BE LIKE RIDING A BIKE, I'D JUST GET OUT THERE AND REMEMBER
THE JOKES. BUT MY BIKE HAS BEEN SHATTERED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND I DON'T REMEMBER MOST OF THE THINGS TO TALK ABOUT.
I GOT ON STAGE THINKING, IT'S JUST GOING TO COME BACK TO ME.
I JUST STARED AT PEOPLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND I STARTED SORT OF YELLING AT THEM. BECAUSE I WAS LIKE, YOU'RE
BREATHING ON ME! IF I SAY SOMETHING THAT'S FUNNY
AND YOU LAUGH, YOUR SPIT IS GOING INTO MY MOUTH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
THESE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO EAT FOOD.
>> Jimmy: WHATEVER YOU WERE THINKING CAME OUT ON THEM?
>> YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: WERE THEY MORE PATIENT, DID YOU FIND, BECAUSE
THEY WERE HAPPY TO BE OUT, HAEB TO SEE SOMEBODY DOING COMEDY?
>> YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD GET UP THERE AND SAY, HEY,
I HAVEN'T ‐‐ THIS IS MY FIRST TIME BACK IN A YEAR.
I THOUGHT MAYBE THE CROWDS WOULD BE LIKE, AWW, YEAH, WE'RE HERE
FOR YOU. BUT IT'S STANDUP, THEY'RE LIKE,
WE DON'T GIVE A [ BLEEP ].
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE PAID, WE PAID TO BE HERE! TELL ME WHAT YOU'VE NOTICED!
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S LIKE, ALL RIGHT, I'M SORRY! YOU'RE READY TO CRY BECAUSE
YOU'RE LIVING IN SHOCK.
>> Jimmy: HOW LONG HAD IT BEEN SINCE YOUR LAST SHOW?
>> MY LAST SHOW WAS MARCH 10th, 2020. PORTLAND, OREGON.
AT THE MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS. I WAS ON A TOUR FOLLOWING THE
BAND TOOL AROUND. AND THEN AFTER THAT SHOW ‐‐
>> Jimmy: WERE YOU OPENING FOR TOOL?
>> NO, NO. THAT WOULD BE ‐‐ THAT WOULD BE
HORRIBLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WAS DOING SHOWS ON THEIR OFF NIGHTS TO GET TICKET MONEY TO
THEN GO SEE THEIR SHOWS. LUCKILY THE GUITARIST FROM THE
SHOW FOUND OUT THAT ME AND NICK YOUSSEF, ANOTHER COMIC, WERE
DOING THIS TOUR SO HE GAVE US ACCESS TO ALL THEIR STUFF.
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE TOURING LIKE BEHIND, LIKE A CABOOSE OR
SOMETHING?
>> YEAH, WE WOULD GET TO THE CITY A DAY EARLY.
OR WE'D DO OUR SHOW THE DAY AFTER THEY PERFORMED, SO THAT WE
COULD GO TO THEIR CONCERTS.
>> Jimmy: WHAT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ALSO, I'M 40. AND MY WIFE IS LIKE, WAIT, SO
YOU'RE NOT COMING HOME WITH ANY MONEY?
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO! I'M GOING TO GO SEE MY FAVORITE
BAND!
>> Jimmy: OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
>> I'M 16!
>> Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S CRAZY.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: ONCE THEY GOT TO KNOW YOU DID THEY LET YOU CARRY
EQUIPMENT OR ANYTHING?
>> THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AMAZING ‐‐ TO BECOME A ROADIE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: MIGHT AS WELL.
>> I LEFT A COMIC WHO WAS DOING OKAY, NOW I'M JUST A ROADIE AND
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
THEY DID, THEY GIVE US ACCESS TO GO AND WALK AROUND THE ARENAS.
AT ONE POINT ‐‐ THE GUITARIST'S NAME IS ADAM.
HE SAID, BEFORE THE SHOWS IF YOU WANT TO THROW YOUR JACKETS IN
THE DRESSING ROOM AND WATCH THE SHOW, FEEL FREE.
I'M LIKE, THERE'S NO WORLD WHERE I WILL EVER ‐‐ I COULDN'T
IMAGINE COMING IN HERE, LIKE HAVE A GOOD SHOW, ADAM, WE'RE
HERE! WE'RE HERE TO WATCH YOUR BAND!
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WOULD FEEL SO RIDICULOUS.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU EVER COME TO ONE OF YOUR SHOWS?
>> HE DID, TWO OF THEM, WAS SO SUPPORTIVE. LOVED THE SHOWS.
HE GOT TO SEE OUR VENUES ARE REMARKABLY DIFFERENT SIZES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I WOULD IMAGINE.
>> YEAH. WE'RE GOING FROM PLAYING COFFEE
SHOPS TO STEPPING INTO THE GRAND CANYON OF A HUGE ARENA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, HUGE SPOTS.
>> THEY'RE PLAYING HUGE ARENAS. I REMEMBER, HEY, IF YOU EVER
WANT TO COME TO THE SHOW, WE'LL PUT YOU ON THE LIST.
ACTUALLY, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUNNIER TO CHARGE HIM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE PUT HIM ON THE LIST. AND I WAS LIKE, YEAH, WE DON'T
HAVE TOUR PASSES OR ANYTHING, YOU JUST KIND OF SHOW UP AND THE
DOOR GUY WON'T CARE IF YOU'RE ON THE LIST OR NOT, YOU'LL JUST GET
TO COME IN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> IT'S A COMEDY SHOW. YOU SAY, I KNOW THE GUY.
THEY'RE LIKE, I DON'T GIVE A
[ BLEEP ], GET IN OR GET OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE'VE GOT FOOD AND BEV TO MOVE, THEY DON'T CARE.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE CURSING AND I FEEL LIKE EMMA STONE CAUSED THAT.
>> I'M HERE TO BREAK THE F‐WORD RECORD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S RIGHT! BACKSTAGE I WAS LIKE, [ BLEEP ]
THAT!
[ LAUGHTER ]
NOT ON MY [ BLEEP ] WATCH!
>> Jimmy: EMMA HELD THAT RECORD ‐‐
>> THIS CREATES A VERY REAL FEUD BETWEEN ME, THE GUY NO ONE
KNOWS, AND EMMA STONE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IS THERE A NAME FOR TOOL FANS?
LIKE THE BELIEBERS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
>> IT'S THE SAME.
>> Jimmy: IT'S THE BELIEBERS, REALLY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THE MAYNARDS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
>> THE MAYNARDS, YEAH. PROBABLY TOOLHEADS.
I KNOW THEY HAVE TOOL ARMY, WHICH YOU CAN PAY AND BE IN TOOL
ARMY.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU IN TOOL ARMY?
>> I AM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT MEANS I GET ACCESS TO SOME PRETTY SWEET MERCH GRABS EARLY
ON. DO YOU WANT TO GET IN THE MERCH
GAME? ESPECIALLY DURING A PANDEMIC.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SOMETHING VERY FUNNY ABOUT A PERSON, A KNOWN
PERSON ‐‐ YOU GOT THIS SHOW NOW ON APPLE TV.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND WITH ‐‐ WHICH IS SET IN THE '80s.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: WHICH I WOULD IMAGINE YOU WERE A BABY, PROBABLY.
>> I WAS 1 YEARS OLD IN THE REALITY OF THIS SHOW.
>> Jimmy: 1 YEAR, YEAH. YOU DON'T PLAY A 1‐YEAR‐OLD,
THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS.
>> I TRY. I GO OUT FOR ALL THE ROLES.
THIS TOWN.
>> Jimmy: ROSE BYRNE IS YOUR ‐‐
>> MY WIFE.
>> Jimmy: YOUR WIFE ON THE SHOW, YES.
I WATCHED THE FIRST EPISODE. AND YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE THAT
STUFF. I GET SO INTO THAT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: I THINK WE HAVE A CLIP.
>> AWESOME.
>> Jimmy: TAKE A LOOK HERE.
>> SORRY.
>> OH, NO ‐‐ DON'T BE. I JUST, YOU KNOW, WORRY ABOUT
YOU, THAT'S ALL.
>> I'M GOOD, I'M FINE, IT'S MY STOMACH.
>> EVERYBODY LEFT, THEY ALL TOOK OFF. EXCEPT FOR SIMONE.
WHO IS STILL HERE. AND I'M PRETTY SURE, I'M
ACTUALLY 100% POSITIVE, THAT SHE IS DOWN TO HOOK UP.
EVERYBODY LEFT. THEY SAID GOOD‐BYE.
AND SHE JUST ‐‐ SHE JUST STAYED. SO I WAS THINKING, DO YOU WANT
TO GO AND ‐‐ YOU KNOW. CLOSE THE DEAL?
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: THERE'S A LOT OF NUDITY IN THE SHOW, INCLUDING
YOU, YOUR OWN.
>> THERE'S A ‐‐ THERE'S A GREAT DEAL OF NUDITY IN THIS SHOW,
WHICH WAS VERY NEW TO ME. I GOT ‐‐ I WAS ABLE TO GET THIS
ROLE DURING THE PANDEMIC. STANDUP WAS GONE.
ALL MY JOBS WERE GONE. THEN THIS ROLE, WHICH I
AUDITIONED FOR, SEEMINGLY FELL FROM THE SKY.
AND THERE WAS GOING TO BE SOME NUDE SCENES.
AND I THINK WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB, YOU JUST HAVE TO DO THEM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHEN YOU HAVE NO JOB AND NO CLOUT, YOU CAN'T GO, CAN WE GET
RID OF THE NUDE SCENES? THEY'RE LIKE, WE'LL GET SOMEONE
ELSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO YEAH, I ‐‐ AND WHEN YOU WATCH THE SHOW, AND I DON'T KNOW ‐‐ I
DON'T KNOW IF VIEWERS ARE GOING TO BE TURNED ON TO WATCH THE
SHOW OR NOT, NOW THAT YOU KNOW I'M NAKED IN THE SHOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I THINK WE'RE AROUSED. I THINK I SPEAK FOR ALL OF US
WHEN I SAY WE'RE AROUSED.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> AROUSAL, YES. THIS IS WHAT COVID HAS TURNED US
INTO. WE'RE ALL OVERLY SUPPORTIVE OF
EACH OTHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHEN YOU SEE THE SHOW, IF YOU GUYS HAPPEN TO SEE IT, AND YOU
SEE MY NUDE BODY, YOU WILL SEE THAT EVEN A SHOW, KNOWING THAT
AMERICA AND THE WORLD WILL SEE ME NAKED, IS NOT ENOUGH
MOTIVATION TO WORK OUT OR EAT RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER. RIGHT?
>> Jimmy: GOOD TO KNOW THAT ABOUT YOURSELF, IT REALLY IS.
I DO WANT TO MENTION NEXT MONTH YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING I THINK
IS VERY INTERESTING ON YOUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL.
YOU DID SIX CONSECUTIVE NIGHTS OF SHOWS, NO MATERIAL, ALL
IMPROVISED.
>> YEAH, I LIKE TO IMPROVISE IN MY STANDUP WHENEVER I CAN.
AND I DECIDED I WANTED TO PUT SOME SHOWS TOGETHER WHERE THAT'S
ALL I WAS GOING TO DO. AND I TOLD A BUDDY THAT AND HE
WAS LIKE, OH, YOU SHOULD GET SOME CAMERAS AND SHOOT THAT FOR
A DOCUMENTARY. AND I AS LIKE, YEAH, GREAT,
I'LL DO IT. SO WE DID, WE SHOT ALL SIX
EPISODES AND WE PUT IT INTO SORT OF A HYBRID BETWEEN A SPECIAL
AND A DOCUMENTARY. I DID THAT WITH MY BUDDY SCOTT
MORAN.
>> Jimmy: VERY GOOD. RORY SCOVEL.
"PHYSICAL" PREMIERS JUNE 18th ON APPLE TV PLUS.
GO TO RORY'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL FOR SIX NIGHTS OF UNWRITTEN
MATERIAL.
>> JUNE 24th, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WE'LL BE BACK WITH CHLOE MORIONDO!
>> Jimmy: THIS IS HER ALBUM, IT'S CALLED "BLOOD BUNNY."
WITH THE SONG "BODYBAG," FROM DETROIT, MICHIGAN,
CHLOE MORIONDO!
♪
♪ I DON'T KNOW WHERE EXACTLY
YOU EXPECT MY HEAD TO GO WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME
IT'S LIKE I LOSE CONTROL ♪
♪ YOU KNOW THAT
YOU'RE TO BLAME WHEN YOU SAY MY NAME
WHEN YOU SAY MY NAME YEA ♪
♪ LOOK AT YOU
WALKING ALL AROUND JUST ACTING LIKE YOU DO ♪
♪ MAKING EVERYONE THINK
YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE BUT I CAN SEE IT
YEA I KNOW YOUR SECRET ♪
♪ DON'T KNOW IF I HATE YOU
OR IF I WANNA DATE YOU PUT YOU IN A BODY BAG
INSTEAD OF MY BED ♪
♪ I DON'T WANNA LIKE YOU
I JUST WANNA TIE YOU UP AND KEEP YOU IN A CAGE AND
WATCH YOU SLEEP FOR AGES ♪
♪
♪ I WANNA KEEP YOU IN A CAGE AND
WATCH YOU SLEEP ♪
♪
♪ I WANNA KEEP YOU IN A CAGE AND
WATCH YOU SLEEP FOR AGES ♪
♪ FEELS LIKE I'M GONNA DIE
WHENEVER YOU GET CLOSE TO ME IT'S WAY TOO HOT IN MICHIGAN ♪
♪ I'M CHANGING
THE SUBJECT AGAIN MY HEART IS MELTING
AND MY HANDS ARE WEAK ♪
♪ I COULD CRY
WHEN I HEAR YOU SPEAK BUT THAT JUST MAKES ME ANGRY ♪
♪ WANNA KISS YOU
ON YOUR CHEEKS BUT I ALSO WANNA PUNCH YOUR TEETH ♪
♪ I JUST DON'T GET IT
I JUST DON'T KNOW ♪
♪ DON'T KNOW IF I HATE YOU
OR IF I WANNA DATE YOU PUT YOU IN A BODY BAG
INSTEAD OF MY BED ♪
♪ I DON'T WANNA LIKE YOU
I JUST WANNA TIE YOU UP AND KEEP YOU IN A CAGE AND
WATCH YOU SLEEP FOR AGES ♪
♪
♪ I WANNA KEEP YOU
IN A CAGE AND WATCH
YOU SLEEP FOR AGES ♪
♪
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK EMMA STONE, RORY SCOVEL,
CHLOE MORIONDO, JAMES ADOMIAN, AND GOVERNOR GAVIN NEWSOM.
THANK YOU, GOVERNOR.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
REALLY CARRYING THE LOAD HERE, WE APPRECIATE IT.
APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY!