>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S
"JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"!
TONIGHT,
ELIZABETH BANKS,
DANNY PUDI,
AND MUSIC FROM THE BAND CAMINO.
AND NOW JIMMY KIMMEL!
>> Jimmy: HELLO.
I'M JIMMY.
I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
THANK YOU FOR BRAVING THE RECENT
OUTBREAK OF NOROVIRUS TO BE
HERE.
LAST WEEK, WE HAD A WHOLE BUNCH
OF PEOPLE AT OUR SHOW GET SICK.
VIENT ‐‐ VIOLENTLY ILL,
SUDDENLY,
LIKE 40 PEOPLE WENT HOME AND
STARTED THROWING UP.
DID YOU GET SICK, GUILLERMO?
>> YOU DIDN'T RAISE YOUR HAND?
TOO WEAK OR YOU DIDN'T WANT TO
BE THE LAME ONE IN THE GROUP.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE
GOT SICK.
IT'S WEIRD WHEN YOU ARE REMINDED
THAT THERE ARE OTHER CONTAGIOUS
VIRUSES OUT THERE.
IT'S LIKE "OH, YEAH, HERPES."
STILL HANGIN' IN.
I GUESS I ASSUMED THAT THEY'D GO
AWAY OUT OF LIKE, COURTESY OR
SOMETHING.
SO BE WARNED‐ AT ANY POINT
DURING THE SHOW, ANY ONE OF US
COULD BLOW.
HEY, REMEMBER THAT YOUTUBE VIDEO
WITH THE TWO CUTE BRITISH KIDS,
"CHARLIE BIT MY FINGER?"
IT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST VIRAL
VIDEOS BACK IN 2007.
THIS THING RACKED UP MORE THAN
833 MILLION VIEWS BUT NOW IT IS
OFF YOUTUBE AND IN THE HANDS OF
A PRIVATE COLLECTOR.
BECAUSE YESTERDAY CHARLIE'S
PARENTS AUCTIONED IT OFF AS AN
NFT, A NON‐FUNGIBLE TOKEN, AND
IT SOLD FOR 761 THOUSAND
DOLLARS.
FOR A 55 SECOND VIDEO ANYONE CAN
SEE.
WHICH, I DON'T KNOW.
IF YOU PAY THREE QUARTERS OF A
MILLION DOLLARS FOR VIDEO OF A
KID BITING ANOTHER KID.
ARE YOU AN ENTREPRENEUR OR JUST
A WEIRDO?
SEEMS LIKE THIS SHOULD GET YOU
ON SOME KIND OF WATCH LIST.
ANYWAY THE MORAL TO THIS STORY
IS RECORD EVERY DUMB THING YOUR
KID SAYS, BECAUSE ONE DAY IT
MIGHT BUY YOU A HOUSE!
IN FLORIDA THAT'S ALWAYS AN
ATTENTION‐GRABBER, ISN'T IT?
IN FLORIDA, THE SCHOOL YEAR IS
WINDING DOWN, AND THAT MEANS
THIS IS THE TIME THE YEARBOOKS
COME OUT.
WELL, AT BARTRAM TRAIL HIGH
SCHOOL NOT TOO FAR FROM
JACKSONVILLE, 80 STUDENTS, ALL
FEMALE, WERE SURPRISED TO FIND
THEIR PHOTOS ALTERED.
SOMEONE, THIS WAS THE ORIGINAL
PHOTO, TOOK IT UPON HERSELF TO
ALTER IT.
TO COVER UP THEIR SHOULDERS AND
NECKLINES.
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
THIS IS THE ORIGINAL.
SHIELD YOUR EYES.
AND HERE IT IS "FIXED."
THEY DID THIS 80 TIMES!
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE AND HOW THEY
CLEANED IT UP.
IT'S LIKE THEY PUT THE TALIBAN
IN CHARGE OF THE YEARBOOK
COMMITTEE.
IMAGINE SOME LUNATIC SPENDING
ALL THAT TIME PHOTOSHOPPING HIGH
SCHOOL GIRLS' BOOBS?
AND HOW DID THE SCHOOL SANITIZE
THE MALE STUDENTS?
THEY DIDN'T.
THIS PHOTO IS FROM THE SAME
YEARBOOK.
BOYS IN SPEEDOS REMAIN
UNTOUCHED.
WOW, YOU'D THINK EDUCATORS IN
THE STATE THAT GAVE US HOOTERS
WOULD KNOW BETTER THAN THIS.
I GUESS NOT.
ANYWAY, IT'S NICE TO KNOW THERE
ARE STILL HEROES OUT THERE
PROTECTING OUR KIDS FROM ALL
THIS SINFUL VEE‐NECKERY.
MEANWHILE, WE GOT SOME
ENCOURAGING NEWS COVID‐WISE.
CASES OF THE CORONAVIRUS IN THE
UNITED STATES ARE DOWN TO THEIR
LOWEST LEVELS IN ALMOST A YEAR.
SO NOW WE CAN GO OUTSIDE AND BE
SWARMED BY CICADAS!
IF IT KEEPS GETTING BETTER AT
THIS RATE, THEY SAY THAT BY
JULY 1st, WE'LL NEED A NEW
EXCUSE TO NOT WANT TO SEE
PEOPLE.
NOW THAT THINGS ARE GETTING BACK
TO NORMAL‐ISH SUPERMARKETS HAVE
A GLUT OF SANITIZER ON THEIR
HANDS.
THERE IS A BIG SURPLUS OF HAND
SANITIZER AND SO THEY'RE TRYING
TO GET RID OF IT.
ONE STORE IN RHODE ISLAND IS
OFFERING A TEN DOLLAR GIFT CARD
IF YOU BUY TEN DOLLARS WORTH OF
HAND SANITIZER.
YOU REMEMBER HOW HARD IT WAS TO
GET?
I ACTUALLY BOUGHT THE
INGREDIENTS TO MAKE IT!
AND THEN IT WAS COMPLICATED AND
I GAVE UP.
I HAVE 80 GALLONS OF ALOE VERA
AND ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL IN MY
GARAGE.
THE DEMAND WAS SO HUGE, A LOT OF
VODKA PRODUCERS SWITCHED THEIR
FACTORIES OVER TO MAKING HAND
SANITIZER.
WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE A BAD
MOVE.
WE DIDN'T NEED MORE HAND
SANITIZER, BUT WE DEFINITELY
NEEDED MORE VODKA!
AS WE LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS
VIRUS, SCIENTISTS ARE LEARNING
HOW TO PROTECT US FROM IT.
RESEARCHERS IN LONDON HAVE FOUND
THAT DOGS CAN BE TRAINED TO
SMELL COVID INFECTIONS WITH A
SUCCESS RATE OF MORE THAN 90%.
CATS CAN DETECT IT TOO, BUT THEY
WON'T LET YOU KNOW UNTIL YOU'RE
ON A VENTILATOR.
JERKS.
DOGS CAN DETECT ALL KINDS OF
THINGS FROM CANCER, MALARIA EVEN
EPILEPSY.
SOME DAY WE'LL GO INTO AN URGENT
CARE AND IT'LL BE LIKE, "THE DOG
WILL SEE YOU NOW."
SENATOR TED CRUZ HAD AN EVENTFUL
WEEKEND THANKS TO SOMETHING DUMB
HE TWEETED ABOUT THE ARMY.
THERE WAS A TIKTOK THAT COMPARED
A RUSSIAN ARMY RECRUITMENT
COMMERCIAL TO AN AMERICAN AD.
IN THE AMERICAN VERSION, THEY
TLL THE STORY OF A FEMALE
SOLDIER WHO WAS RAISED BY TWO
MOMS.
THE RUSSIAN ONE WAS LIKE DRAGO
IN "ROCKY 4."
SO TED, SEEING AN EASY
OPPORTUNITY, FIRES THIS CRUZ
MISSILE.
WITH THIS RESPONSE TO THE
TIKTOK.
"HOLY CRAP.
PERHAPS A WOKE, EMASCULATED
MILITARY IS NOT THE BEST IDEA."
TED CRUZ, WHO FOUR YEARS AGO
TOOK PERMANENT RESIDENCE UP THE
ASS OF A MAN WHO BEAT HIM IN
EVERY ELECTION BY CALLING HIS
WIFE UGLY AND SLANDERING HIS
ELDERLY FATHER SAYS THIS IS
EMASCULATING.
PRIMARILY BECAUSE TED CRUZ IS
NOT HUMAN HE'S A MOIST,
GELATINOUS TUBEWORM WHOSE
ELASTIC BAND PANTS ARE FILLED
WITH AN INKY DISCHARGE.
MAYBE THIS WOULD BE MORE TED'S
SPEED.
"ARMY."
"BE ALL YOU CANCUN BE."
FOR A GUY NAMED TED, HE GIVES
THE WORST TALKS.
KENTUCKY SENATOR RAND PAUL IS
ALSO IN THE RUNNING FOR WORST
PERSON OF THE WEEKEND.
RAND, PICTURED HERE SAYS HE HAS
NO PLANS TO GET VACCINATED.
HE'S JUST GONNA KEEP GELLING HIS
HAIR WITH PURELL.
WHAT PAUL ACTUALLY SAID WAS "I
WON'T GET THE VACCINE, BUT I MAY
RECONSIDER."
JUST THE KIND OF DECISIVE
LEADERSHIP WE NEED RIGHT NOW.
THE GOOD NEWS IS EVERYONE IN
RAND PAUL'S LIFE STAYS AT LEAST
6 FEET AWAY FROM HIM ANYWAY.
RAND ISN'T THE ONLY DUDE IN
CONGRESS WHO DOESN'T WANT TO
FOLLOW COVID GUIDELINES.
THERE ARE SEVERAL OTHERS
INCLUDING
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE.
KLAN MOM IS VERY UPSET WITH
NANCY PELOSI FOR MAKING HER WEAR
A MASK TO WORK.
A RESTRICTION SHE COMPARED TO
THAT'S RIGHT, YOU GUESSED IT,
THE HOLOCAUST.
>> Jimmy: WHERE THE HELL ARE
THOSE JEWISH SPACE LASERS WHEN
WE NEED THEM?
WEARING MASKS IS EXACTLY THE
TYPE OF ABUSE SEEN IN THE
HOLOCAUST?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN?
GO HOME!
GO BACK TO KEYING OTHER PARENTS'
CARS AT SOCCER GAMES.
YOU MONSTER.
HOUSE MINORITY LEADER
KEVIN McCARTHY IMMEDIATELY
CONDEMNED HER COMMENTS.
HE SAID THEY WERE REPREHENSIBLE
AND TOTALLY INCONSISTENT WITH
THE VALUES OF THE REPUBLICAN
PARTY.
NO, JUST KIDDING, HE SAID
NOTHING.
HE DID NOTHING AND SAID NOTHING.
BUT MTG DID GET A BOOST OF
SUPPORT.
FROM SOON‐TO‐BE INCARCERATED
CONGRESSMAN MATT GAETZ, WHO
TWEETED "I PROUDLY STAND WITH
@REPMTG."
MARJORIE AND MATT WENT TO A
RALLY TOGETHER IN MESA, ARIZONA
THIS WEEKEND.
BEFORE THAT, GAETZ WEIGHED IN ON
A CLOSE FRIEND, A GUY NAMED
JOEL GREENBERG WHO PLED GUILTY
TO SIX CRIMES, INCLUDING SEX
TRAFFICKING AND WHO IS SAID TO
BE COOPERATING WITH AUTHORITIES
IN THEIR INVESTIGATION OF
MATT GAETZ.
>>> HE ACCUSED SOMEONE OF HAVING
A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MINOR.
IT WAS NOT TRUE.
IT WAS A FALSE THING THAT JOEL
GREENBERG HAS SAID, AND IT
LANDED HIM IN QUITE A BIT OF
TROUBLE.
I'M NOT FOCUSED ON SCANDAL, I'M
FOCUSED ON SOCIALISM.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT WHETHER OR
NOT I PAID A TEENAGER FOR SEX.
I'M FOCUSED ON MAKING SURE NONE
OF THOSE TEENAGERS GET
HEALTHCARE!
I LOVE IT WHEN THEY TURN ON EACH
OTHER.
SPEAKING OF THE SOON TO BE
INCARCERATED, DONALD TRUMP MAY
NOT BE PRESIDENT, BUT HE'S STILL
SPONGING UP ALL THE TAX MONEY HE
CAN.
SINCE JANUARY THE TRUMP
ORGANIZATION HAS REPORTEDLY BEEN
CHARGING THE SECRET SERVICE
$400 A NIGHT‐ FOR A ROOM AT
MAR‐A‐LAGO.
SO FAR THE BILL IS MORE THAN
$40,000.
AT THIS POINT, IT WOULD BE
CHEAPER FOR THE SECRET SERVICE
TO BECOME MEMBERS AT MAR‐A‐LAGO.
NOT EVEN A DISCOUNT.
NO, FULL RATE.
HE HAS TO MAKE A PROFIT OFF IT!
AND GOD FORBID THE SECRET
SERVICE ORDERS ROOM SERVICE IT
COULD BANKRUPT THE TREASURY!
THESE POOR SECRET SERVICE AGENTS
THEY SPEND YEARS TRAINING TO BE
PART OF AN ELITE SECURITY TASK
FORCE THEY WIND UP ON THE GOLF
COURSE, WATCHING JABBA THE PUTT
GOBBLE UP LOADED POTATO SKINS.
ALTHOUGH I GUESS IT COULD BE
WORSE.
TODAY I GOOGLED "WOULD TRUMP
HAVE SECRET SERVICE PROTECTION
IN PRISON?"
AND TURNS OUT HE WOULD.
IT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.
BUT IF IT DID HAPPEN ‐‐
I WONDER WHICH LUCKY AGENTS GET
THAT DETAIL?
FROM NOW ON, YOU'LL BE
PROTECTING THE FORMER PRESIDENT
FROM THE CRIPS.
THIS IS NOW DAY FIVE OF THE
CEASE‐FIRE BETWEEN ISRAEL AND
HAMAS.
GUILLERMO, HAVE YOU BEEN
FOLLOWING THE SITUATION IN THE
MIDDLE EAST?
>> A LITTLE BIT, BUT IT'S SASHL.
‐‐ BUT IT'S TERRIBLE.
>> Jimmy: IF YOU'VE BEEN ON
SOCIAL MEDIA THIS PAST WEEK‐ OR
EVER OPENED A NEWSPAPER DURING
THE PAST 35 YEARS, YOU KNOW THE
TOUCHY SUBJECT AND IT'S BEEN
MADE MORE TOUCHY BY SOCIAL
MEDIA.
AND IT HAS BEEN MADE EVEN MORE
SO BY TWITTER.
THERE IS NO RIGHT POSITION TO
TAKE.
FRIENDSHIPS HAVE BEEN ENDED.
PUBLIC FIGURES HAVE BEEN TORN
APART.
PEOPLE ARE SCARED TO SPEAK UP
AND NOT JUST ON INSTAGRAM IN THE
PRIVACY OF THEIR HOMES TOO.
>>> IT'S LATE IN TO GAME NIGHT,
YOU HAVE PLAYED EVERYTHING.
IT'S TIME FOR A GAME THAT
WILLING CHALLENGE YOU MENTALLY
AND EMOTIONALLY.
>> WE DO HAVE ONE OTHER GAME.
>> WHAT IS IT?
>> LET'S TALK ABOUT ISRAEL.
>> NO, LET'S NOT.
>> NAVIGATE YOUR WAY THROUGH THE
HOLY LAND.
STOPPING TO PICK UP NEUTRAL
TALKING POINTS ALONG THE WAY.
BUT IF THOSE TALKING POINTS
OFFEND ANYBODY.
>> OBVIOUSLY THIS IS ALL VERY
COMPLICATED.
>> NICE ONE, BABE.
>> AND I'M CERTAINLY NO EXPERT.
>> COULD HAVE FOOLED ME.
>> BUT IT JUST SEEM ONES LIKE
THE ISRAELI RESPONSE IS D
DSPROPORTIONATE?
>> YES.
>> YOU WILL SPEND HOURS
NAVIGATING THE MINE FIELD AND
HAVE NO FUN DOING IT.
>> THIS CONFLICT GOES BACK A
LONG, LONG WAY.
>> NICE AND VAGUE.
>> BUT WHEN ONE FORCE
OCCUPIES ‐‐ AM I NOT ALLOWED TO
SAY THAT WORD?
>> I DON'T KNOW, THE RULES ARE
HARD TO FOLLOW.
>> YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
TALKING ABOUT, BUT DON'T LET IT
STOP YOU FROM WEIGHING IN.
>> I FEEL SORRY FOR ANYBODY WHO
IS ANYWHERE, THAT FEELS
UNCOMFORTABLE BE ANYTHING.
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THAT ONE.
>> YOU WANT TO GIVE HAMAS A
PASSES?
>> THAT IS NOT WHAT HE SAID.
>> THIS GAME MAY NEVER END
SDWL.
>> THE TWO STATE SOLUTION.
THE VIOLENT ESCALATION.
BOTH SIDES ‐‐
[ BUZZER ]
>> WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT
FROM ME!
>> HEY!
>> YOU ‐‐
>> LET'S TALK ABOUT ISRAEL, NOT
FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.
FROM THE MAKERS OF DADDY'S
CHEATING ON MOM.
>> I DON'T EVER WANT TO PLAY
THIS GAME AGAIN.
>> Jimmy: WE'LL SETTLE IT WITH
BATTLESHIP.
WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
DANNY PUDI IS HERE.
WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM THE
BAND CAMINO.
AND WE'LL BE BACK WITH
EIZABETH BANKS.
STICK AROUND
♪
>> Jimmy: TONIGHT, FROM "MYTHIC
QUEST" ON APPLE TV PLUS,
DANNY PUDI IS HERE.
THEN LATER FROM NASHVILLE,
TENNESSEE, THEY DON'T HAVE A
TITLE YET, BUT THEY HAVE AN
ALBUM COVER.
LOOK LIKE WE BELIEVE MUSIC FROM
THE BAND CAMINO.
THS WEEK, WE HAVE NEW SHOWS
WITH EMMA STONE, EMILY BLUNT,
LENA WAITHE.
WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM
CHLOE MORIONDO, ALLISON RUSSELL
FEATURING BRITTNEY SPENCER AND
BRANDI CARLILE, AND THE WINNER
OF "AMERICAN IDOL,"
CHAYCE BECKHAM, TOO.
PLEASE JOIN US FOR ALL THAT.
OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN
EMMY‐NOMINATED ACTOR, PRODUCER,
DIRECTOR, AND NOW‐GAME‐SHOW
HOST.
SHE CONTROLS THE WHAMMIES ON
"PRESS YOUR LUCK"‐ SEASON THREE
PREMIERES WEDNESDAY HERE ON ABC.
PLEASE SAY HELLO TO
ELIZABETH BANKS.
HELLO, LIZ ARE BETH THE ‐‐
ELIZABETH BANKS HOW ARE YOU?
>> HI, JIMMY.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU, WHERE ARE
YOU?
>> HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT.
>> I'M GUESSING IT'S NOT
BEAUTIFUL IN HARTFORD, I'VE NOT
BEEN THERE.
>> YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S
PROBABLY NOT THE NICE ESTIMST S
CONNECTICUT BUT THEY HAVE BEEN
NICE.
>> YOU ARE FROM THAT AREA?
>> I AM, AND WHILE I'VE BEEN
WORKING HERE I HAVE BEEN
SPENDING WEEKENDS SEEING FRIENDS
AND FAMILY ALL OVER THE EAST
COAST.
I HAVE SEEN MY DAD WHO I HAVE
NOT SEEN SINCE THE BEGINNING OF
OF THE KBLOPANDEMIC AND I'M SEE
MY MOM THIS MEMORIAL HOLIDAY.
>> HOW WAS THAT SEEING YOUR DAD
AFTER A FULL YEAR OF NOT SEEING
HIM?
>> I FULL CRIED BABY CRIED, THE
WHOLE TYPE.
I CRIED IN THE CAR, FOR THE TEN
MINUTES BEFORE WE SAW EACH
OTHER.
I CRIED AND THEN I CRIED LIKE A
BABY IN MY DADDY'S ARMS.
LET ME TELL YOU ‐‐
>> NOW DO YOU FEEL PRESSURE?
YOU HAVE TO CRY FOR MOM TOO, YOU
KNOW THAT RIGHT?
>> I HAVE NO DOUBT I WILL BALL
MY EYES OUT FOR MOM TOO.
I'M SO GRATEFUL THEY MADE IT
THROUGH.
YOU KNOW?
IT'S BEEN A CRAZY HARD YEAR FOR
EVERYONE.
>> SURE, YEAH.
SO WHAT ABOUT YOUR OWN FAMILY,
YOUR HUSBAND AND KIDS ARE THEY
WITH YOU OR BACK IN L. A. STILL?
>> MOMMY IS ARE HAVING ALONE
TIME, JIMMY.
>> OKAY.
>> IT WAS A LONG PANDEMIC.
SO, A LOT OF REMOTE SCHOOL.
NO, MY KIDS WERE IN REMOTE
SCHOOL FOR SO LONG, AND RIGHT
WHEN I GOT THIS JOB, WE WERE
TOLD THEY WERE GOING BACK FULL
TIME AND I COULD NOT TAKE THEM
AWAY FROM SCHOOL AND THEIR
FRIENDS AND THEY HAVE ALREADY
MISSED FOR SO LONG.
SO, MY HUSBAND IS DOING MR. MOM
DUTY.
AN AMAZING JOB, I COULD NOT BE
MORE GRATEFUL TO MY MAN MAX, HE
IS HOLDING DOWN THE FORT BACK
HOME.
>> THE LAST TIME YOU WERE ON,
MAX PURCHASED, WHAT WAS IT?
LIKE A HUGE, LIKE A CRATE OF
RAMAN NOODLES, CORRECT?
>> YES, CORRECT, HE DID.
>> FOR WHAT REASON HAD HE
PURCHASED THAT CRATE OF RAMAN
NOODLES?
>> LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THE
BEGINNING OF COVID, LIKE DAY
THREE, HE PANICKED AND IT WAS A
PANIC BUY, JIMMY.
HE THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE
NOTHING LEFT ON THE SHELVES AND
THAT ALL WE WOULD BE ABLE TO EAT
WAS RAMAN, WE ARE HAPPY TO
REPORT THAT MOST OF THE RAMAN IS
STILL IN THE PANTRY, BUT WE DID
EAT SOME RAMAN AND
CUP‐A‐NOODLES.
A LOT OF CUP‐A‐NOODLES.
>> IT WILL BE GREAT FOR THE NEXT
EMERGENCY.
YOU WILL HAVE IT THROUGH
EARTHQUAKES AND WHO KNOWS WHAT
WILL HAPPEN.
>> HE REVERTED TO COLLEGER DORM
EATING BASICALLY.
>> IT'S A GOOD THOUGHT, YOU
KNOW, IT'S JUST, GROSS, THAT'S
ALL.
>> IT'S, BUT IT'S JUST ADD WATER
AND THAT'S WHAT WE WANTED.
>> YOU KNOW, WE WERE RUMMAGING
THROUGH YOUR PAST AND WE
DISCOVERED AROUND 20 YEARS AGO,
YOU WERE ON AN EPISODE OF LAW
AND ORDER.
I BELIEVE SVU?
>> SVU, YES.
>> AND THIS IS ALMOST LIKE A
RITE OF PASSAGE IF YOU ARE AN
ACTOR IN NEW YORK, TRUE?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
IF YOU WERE AN ACTOR IN NEW YORK
AND YOU WERE NOT ON ANY OF THE
LAW AND ORDERS, YOU WERE NOT
GOING TO MAKE IT.
THEY HAD AN EPISODE A WEEK
RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES.
THEY HAD 50 MILLION GUEST STARS,
YOU TO GET ONE ON THE SHOW.
I LUCKED OUT WITH MINE.
I'M SURE YOU ARE GOING TO
MENTION IT.
>> NO, YOU GO AHEAD, IT'S YOUR
STORY, FOR SURE.
YOU LUCKED OUT.
>> SO, MY, THE CHARACTER I
PLAYED ON LAW AND ORDER SVU,
SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT.
I PLAYED A PORN STAR WITH A SICK
KID WHOSE ENTIRE LIFE GOAL WAS
TO GET IN A GANG BANG TO GET ON
THE HOWARD STERN SHOW AND MAKE
MONEY AND GET TO VEGAS.
>> OH, GET TO VEGAS, OKAY.
>> WELL THAT'S WHERE THE REAL
PORN HAPPENS, IN TERMS OF THIS
CHARACTER, I DON'T KNOW.
>> WELL, I GREW UP IN LAS VEGAS,
I SAW NOHAPPENING.
I WILL TAKE YOUR WORD ON THAT.
WE HAVE THE CLIP OF THAT
POWERFUL PERFORMANCE AND LET'S
TAKE A LOOK NOW.
>> JOEY, JUST KNEEL DOWN BEHIND
HER.
A LITTLE MORE TO THE LEFT.
GOOD.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> YOU RUINED MY SHOT.
WHO ARE YOU?
>> POLICE, WE NEED TO TALK TO
JAYNA.
>> MOMMY CAN I HAVE MONEY FOR
THE SODA MACHINE
>> I WANT TRIED TO STOP HER ,
I'M SORRY.
>> WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOUR
DAUGHTER DOING IN A ‐‐
>> THAT'S THE BEST.
THAT'S THE BAD SITUATION YOU
WERE IN.
>> HONESTLY, I'M SO GRATEFUL YOU
DIDN'T FREEZE FRAME ON THE MOVE
IN THE KITCHEN.
BUT YEAH, THAT WAS MY CHARACTER.
I'M WEARING A G‐STRING I BELIEVE
IN THAT.
>> SAME HERE.
ELIZABETH, I LOVE THAT THE GUY
IS IN THE THING, AND EVEN THOUGH
THEY HAVE NO CLOTHES ON, WITH WE
ARE LEARNING THEIR JOBS.
THIS ONE HAS A CONSTRUCTIONALLY
HELMET.
THAT IS CRAZY.
>> THEY ARE THE VILLAGE PEOPLE
OF PORN BASICALLY, JIMMY.
>> WAS THAT THE LAST TIME YOU
SAW YOUR FATHER CRY WHEN HE SAW
THAT THAT ON TELEVISION?
>> I BELIEVE THAT MY PARENTS
WERE VERY PROUD.
>> OH, THEY WERE EXCITED.
>> WAS THAT THE FIRST TIME THEY
SAW YOU ON TV?
>> NO.
I HAD DONE, MY VERY FIRST THING
I EVER EVER DID WAS, IT WAS NOT
MUCH BETTER.
WAS AN EPISODE OF AMERICA'S MOST
WANTED IN WHICH I PLAYED A
MURDER VICTIM BE WHO GETS RUN
OVER BY A CAR.
AND I HAD A ROUTINE, AND THE
STUNT WAS ‐‐ SO ON THE DAY THAT
I SHOT THE STUNT, I HAD NEVER
BEEN ON A SET OF ANYTHING IN MY
LIFE.
SO, I WENT TO THE ‐‐ I
AUDITIONED AND I WON THE JOB OF
MURDER VICTIM ON AMERICA'S MOST
WANTED.
AND I HAD TO HAVE A SHOT, THE
SHOT WAS, I LAID OVER THE HOOD
OF A CAR AND THEN I GOT UP AND
THEN I WALKED BACKWARDS AND YOU
REMEMBER I WAS EATING CHIPS, AND
THEN THEY EVERSED THE TAPE AND
PLAYED IT FORWARD SO IT LOOKS
LIKE I'M WALKING FORWARD AND
EATING CHIP‐S AND GET RUN OVER
AND HIT BY A CAR.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT.
THAT WILL BE THE WHOLE BIT.
THEN I HAVE A WHOLE VIEWING
PARTY.
I WAS IN COLLEGE AT THE TIME.
MY ENTIRE SORORITY GOT TOGETHER
TO WATCH THE SHOW WITH ME AND
THEY PLAYED THE SHOW AND THERE I
AM WALKING DOWN THE HIGHWAY, EAT
AUTOING CHIPS.
HERE COMES THE CAR.
IT HITS ME.
WHAT THEY FAILED TO TELL ME THEY
WERE GOING TO SHOOT.
THEY THREW, THEY PUT MY CLOTHES
ON LIKE A SEX DOLL DUMMY, NO
JOKE AND TOSSED IT IN THE AIR
AND THEN LANDED IT SO IT REALLY
LOOKED LIKE IT HIT ME AND THREW
ME LIKE 20 FEET BUT THEY JUST
THREW A SEX DOLL AND MY CLOTHES
20 FEET AND LANDED.
IT'S SO FUNNY.
IT'S SO RIDICULOUS, AND IT STILL
MAX
MAKES ME LAUGH.
I MADE EVERYONE WATCH THAT.
>> WHEN WE COME BACK, WE ARE
TALKING ABOUT YOUR NEW SHOW,
SEASON THREE OF PRESS YOUR LUCK.
ELIZABETH BANKS IS WITH US, WE
WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
PORTIONS OF "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"
ARE BROUGHT
TO YOU BY SMIRNOFF RED, WHITE,
AND BERRY.
ENTER TO WIN THE SUMMER OF YOUR
DREAMS AT
"2021DREAMS.SMIRNOFF.COM."
♪
DANNY PUDI AND MUSIC FROM THE
BAND CAMINO ARE COMING UP.
ELIZABETH BANKS IS WITH US.
SHE IS THE HOST OF PROSECUTES
YO
‐‐ OF PRESS YOUR LUCK.
WHAT IS THE CHARACTER?
>> THE WHAMMY.
>> CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, HE
IS THE DEVIL, OR DEMON IN
CARTOON FORM?
>> RIGHT, HE IS HORRIBLE.
>> EVERYONE SAYS NO WHAMMIES,
AND MAYBE IF THEY WERE MORE
WELCOMING MAYBE HE WOULD NOT
TAKE ALL THEIR MONEY.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.
I DID NOTICE ON THE SHOW, THE
CONTESTANTS ARE SO EXCITED.
LIKE, TO A POINT OF ALMOST BREAK
DOWN.
YOU KNOW?
>> WE HAVE SOME INCREDIBLE
CHARACTERS.
I MEAN, EVERY TYPE.
THE PEOPLE THAT DO IT LOVE IT.
WE HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT
WATCH THE SHOW IN THE '80s AND
WE HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT
COME BACK AND HOW EXCITING TO
WIN MONEY.
YOU KNOW, IT TRULY IS PRETTY
EXCITING AND LIFE CHANGING AND
ALSO, WE GIVE AWAY TONS OF
REALLY INTERESTING AND WHACKY
PRIZES.
WE GIVE AWAY ICE CREAM MACHINES
AND CARS AND A LOT OF CARS THIS
SO
SEASON.
IT'S COOL.
>> I HAVE GIVEN PEOPLE THINGS AS
HOST OF A SHOW AND WORKING ON
RADIO, YOU ALMOST NEVER GET THE
REACTION YOU HOPE FOR.
YOU ALMOST, A LOT OF TIMES YOU
JUST GET A STUNNED SILENCE AND
THAT IS IT AND YOU ARE LIKE,
HEY, I JUST GAVE YOU AN
ESCALADE, HOW ABOUT SOMETHING?
ON YOUR SHOW, IT APPEARS THAT
YOU ARE GIVING THE CONTESTANTS
METH OR SOMETHING BACK STAGE.
THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THEIR
MINDS.
>> YEAH, WELL, WHAT, AND YOU
KNOW, WE PERSONALIZE A LOT OF
THE PRIZES TOO, JIMMY.
SO UNLIKE ANY OTHER GAME SHOW,
WE DO A DEEP DIVE IN PEOPLE'S
LIVES AND WE FIND OUT WHAT THEY
LIKE AND ARE INTERESTED IN.
WHEN THEY GET THE PRIZE, THEY
NEED OR LOVE THE PRIZE.
THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO LOVE
CHIPOTLE THREE TIMES A WEEK AND
I'M LIKE, I'M GIVING YOU
THEY LOSE THEIR MINDS. RS.
YEAH.
>> I SEE.
SO, IF YOU FIND SOMEBODY WITH A
FUNGAL INFECTION, YOU WILL GIVE
THEM LAMASIL OR SOMETHING AND
THEY WILL BE HAPPY.
>> YOU WOULD BE SHOCKED WHAT
PEOPLE WANT.
IT'S PRETTY INCREDIBLE,
ACTUALLY.
>> I SEE, YEAH.
THAT MAKES SENSE.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE AS FAR AS
PLAYING GAMES GOES?
ARE YOU A GOOD SPORT?
>> NO I'M A TERRIBLE LOSER.
>> NOT A GOOD SPORT.
>> I REALLY LIKE WINNING.
>> DID YOU PLAY SPORTS AS A KID?
>> I PLAYED SOFTBALL, AND A
LITTLE BIT OF BASKETBALL.
I WON A MOST IMPROVED BASKETBALL
TROPHY WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD.
THAT IS ABOUT THE ONLY THING,
THAT AND I WON A CHEERLEADING
AWARD FOR BEING THE SUBPOPER
PSYCHED CHEER LEADER.
I THINK THAT MEANS I HAD A BIG
SMILE AND THEY COULD NOT AVOID
MY TEETH WHEN I WAS ON THE
PYRAMID.
I HAD TWO TROPHIES GROWING UP.
MOST IMPROVED IN BASKETBALL AND
SUPER PSYCHED CHEER LEADER.
>> A ELECTRTR TROPHY IS A TROPH
KNOW.
YOUR HUSBAND IS A SPORTS NUT.
HE WROTE A FANTASY FOOTBALL
BOOK, AS I RECALL.
>> HE DID, BUT THE LOVE OF HIS
LIFE ARE THE PORTLAND TRAIL
BLAZERS.
HE GREW UP IN OREGON, HE HAD A
BIRTHDAY IN MAY AND WE HAVE BEEN
TOGETHER A LONG TIME, AS YOU
KNOW, JIMMY.
SO IT'S HARD TO COME UP WITH
THINGS AND SURPRISE HIM AND SO
THIS YEAR, I SLID IN TO THE DMs
OF DAMIAN LILLARD AND I ASKED
HIM IF HE WOULD NOT MIND JUST
DM'ING A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY
HUSBAND.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE DM'ED ME BACK, GOT YOU AND HE
DID IT AND IT'S LIKE THE
SWEETEST THING AND MY HUSBAND
LOST HIS MIND.
>> WOW.
>> HE WAS LIKE, DID YOU DO THIS?
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
DID YOU SEE THIS?
I WAS PRETTY PROUD OF MYSELF.
>> YOU SHOULD BE.
YOU DO COME UP WITH PERSONALIZED
PRIZE IDEAS.
THAT IS NICE, NOT JUST ON THE
SHOW.
THE SHOW IS PRESS YOUR LUCK, IT
PREMIERS WEDNESDAY NIGHT, 8:00
HERE ON ABC, ELIZABETH BANKS,
THANK YOU, ELIZABETH.
WE WILL BE BACK WITH DANNY PUDI.
♪
>>> SUMMER 2020 IS THE WORST, I
HAVE ARE TO STAY INSIDE ALL DAY
IN MY TANK TOP AND THE ONLY
THING TO DO IS WASH MY HANDS AND
SEARCH FOR TOILET PAPER ON THE
INTERNET.
SUMMER 2021 IS THE BEST.
I CAN GO OUTSIDE AND WEAR MY
FAVORITE SUIT TO THE BEACH AND
NEVER WASH MY HANDS AND BY
TOILET PAPER IN PERSON LIKE THE
FOUNDING FATHERS INTENDED.
>> I RUN OUT OF GROCERIES AND I
CANNOT GO TO THE STORE.
ALL I HAVE TO DRINK IS A SOUP.
>> WELL, I HAVE SMIRNOFF'S NEW
RED, WHITE AND BERRY DRINKS.
YOU CAN TELL IT'S COLD WHEN THE
CAN TURNS BLUE, WHY?
BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME.
>> ALL MY GOLD FISH ARE DEAD.
>> HEY, FUTURE JIMMY, WHY IS
SUMMER 2021 SO GOOD?
>> WHAT?
>> HEY, FUTURE JIMMY, WHY IS
2021 SO GOOD?
>> I'M RIGHT OVER HERE.
WHY ‐‐ HUH?
>> HEY, FUTURE JIMMY ‐‐
>> BECAUSE OF SMIRNOFF'S SUMMER
OF 2021 DREAMS THEY HAVE 2021
SUMMER DREAM GIVE AWAYS,
EVERYTHING FROM COOL BEACH GEAR
TO AMAZING VACATIONS.
>> CAN I COME TO YOUR SUMMER?
>> OF COURSE, HOP ON OVER TO MY
SUMMER.
>> WOW.
>> THANKS, JIMMY, 2021 IS GREAT.
>> WELL, DON'T THANK ME IN,
THANK SMI ARRNOFF, HEY, DID YOU
JUSTIN V INVENT TIME TRAVEL?
>> YES, I DID.
>> MUST BE 21 PLUS TO ENTER.
♪
>> Jimmy: MUSIC FROM THE BAND
CAMINO IS ON THE WAY.
YOU KNOW OUR NEXT GUEST FROM SIX
SEASONS ON THE SHOW "COMMUNITY."
NOW HE IS HEAD OF MOETIZATION
ON "MYTHIC QUEST."
NEW EPISODES AIR FRIDAYS ON
APPLE TV PLUS, PLEASE WELCOME
DANNY PUDI.
♪
>>> HOW'S IT GOING?
>> GREAT.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> I'M DOING WELL.
YOU KNOW, I WAS ACTUALY WEIRDLY
WALKING NOT THAT IT'S WEIRD THAT
I WAS WALKING.
BUT I WAS WALKING AND I
OVERHEARD THIS KID TELLING HIS
MOM ABOUT SNOOP DOG BEING ON
YOUR SHOW AND ROB McILH ENEY WAS
HERE AND WAS TALKING ABOUT
GETTING HIGH WITH SNOOP DOG, DID
YOU PAR TAKE IN THAT PARTICULAR
EXPERIENCE WITH SNOOP?
>> NO, NO, JIMMY.
THIS WAS A BIG EPISODE FOR ME.
I PLAY THIS SORT OF INTENSE
RUTHLESS CHARACTER AND THIS
EPISODE GOES IN TO MY BACK
STORY.
YOU GET TO SEE A DIFFERENT SIDE
OF MY CHARACTER.
SO I WAS SUPER EXCITED ANDS
ALSO, MY BEST FRIEND, LONG TIME
COMEDY FRIEND IS IN THE EPISODE
AS MY BROTHER.
WE GET TO DO EMOTIONAL SCENES
TOGETHER.
MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF
THE STAGE, SNOOP IS GIVING A
CONCERT, PEOPLE ARE GETTING
HIGH, PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR
MINDS.
AND I'M HERE CRYING WITH MY BEST
FRIEND.
KIND OF LIKE I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL
AGAIN.
>> IT DOES HAVE THE MAKE UP OF A
PARTY.
YOU GOT, I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS FOR A
YEAR.
THIS, WHEN YOU ARE ON LARRY KING
SHOW, LARRY KING IS DOING THIS
INTERNET SHOW, I HAVE BEEN ON IT
A COUPLE OF TIMES AND LARRY WAS
STILL PLUGGING AWAY, GOD BLESS
HIM.
>> YEP.
YEP.
>> YOU BECAME A MEME AS A RESULT
OF ONE OF THE MOMENTS ON THE
SHOW.
>> YEAH.
YEAH.
IT WAS A BIG SURPRISE FOR ME.
I WOKE UP ONE MORNING A BUNCH OF
TEXT FROM FRIENDS, A NEIGHBOR
DROPPED OFF SOCKS AND A BAG OF
COFFEE AND IS C WAS CONFUSED AN
PEOPLE WERE LIKE, YOU ARE
TRENDING AND I'M LIKE, FOR WHAT?
>> LET SHOW EVERYONE FOR WHART.
>> A LUXURY YOU CANNOT LIVE
WITHOUT.
>> COFFEE.
>> YOU CAN GET IT ANYWHERE.
>> I GUESS, YEAH, LIKE GOOD
COFFEE.
>> I LOVE COFFEE TOO.
>> I LIKE MY SOCKS.
>> SOCKS?
THAT'S NOT A LUXURY.
COFFEE ‐‐ COFFEE AND SOCKS ARE
NOT A LUXURY.
>> WHAT IS A LUXURY?
>> A PRIVATE PLANE.
>> LARRY I'M ON DUCK TAILS.
>> AND THAT, PEOPLE STARTED
SELLING SHIRTS THAT SAID IS,
LARRY I'M ON DUCK TAILS.
>> YEAH, IT BECAME A THING.
I WAS RELIEVED AND THANKFUL I
HAD A FUN MOMENT WITH LARRY.
>> THAT WAS A PERFECT RESPONSE
TO THAT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> YOU KNOW, LARRY DOESN'T THING
COFFEE IS A LUXURY.
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO PAY $4 EVERY
DAY TO COFFEE AND THINKING, WOW,
IT ADDS UP, IT'S A LUXURY.
LARRY IS PUMPING IT OUT OF THE
POT.
YOU KNOW ‐‐
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> GRINDS ARE IN IT, YEAH.
YEAH.
>> YOU ARE FROM CHICAGO, YOU
GREW UP CHICAGO, RIGHT?
>> I DID.
>> CHICAGO BULLS FAN.
>> HUGE BULLS FAN.
>> YOU WORKED NOR ED FOR THE BU
KIND OF?
>> I DID, GREW UP AS A HUGE
BULLS FAN AND I WAS IN THE
BUILDING FOR A LOT OF GAMES WHEN
JORDAN AND PIPPIN AND THE TEAM
WAS PLAYING.
MY HIGH SCHOOL HAD A SIGN UP FOR
BEING AN USHER AND I COULD NOT
GET A TICKET, AND I SIGNED UP
FOR IT.
>> IT WAS A JOB THEY DIDN'T PAY
YOU FOR?
>> YEAH, BEST UNPAID JOB EVER.
I GOT A BLAZER AND THEY BAN
ISSUED ME TO THE 300 LEVEL.
YOU HAD TO BE STRICT AND SHOW
PEOPLE THE SEATS.
I DIDN'T DO ANY OF THAT.
AS SOON AS THE LIGHTS WERE UP,
JORDAN WAS ON THE COURT, I'M
LOSING MY MIND AND SCREAMING,
EVERYONE IS SITTING ANYWHERE
THEY WANT IN MY SECTION.
I WAS A BAD USHER.
>> YOU GOT TO SEE THE GAMES, DID
YOU MEET THE PLAYERS?
>> NO, I WAS SO FAR AWAY.
I DIDN'T GET TO MEET THE
PLAYERS.
ONE OF MY FAVORITE MEMORIES IS
THEY HAD A TOWEL GIVE AWAY WE
WERE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH THEM,
THEY WERE JUST FOR THE FANS.
I REMEMBER, I'M YOU KNOW, AT MY
STATION.
TRYING TO BE PROFESSIONAL AND I
NOTICE A DRUNK FAN DROPPED THIS
TOWEL IN TO THE PUDDLE OF BEER,
I'M LIKE, THIS IS MY MOMENT
RIGHT HERE.
I WANT TO REMEMBER THIS.
I GET ON THE GROUND, I'M IN A
GRAY BLAZERS.
I'M CRAWLING THROUGH FANS AND
GET THE TOWEL AND SQUEEZE THE
BEER OUT AND SHOVE IT IN MY
BLAZER.
I WAS NOT A GOOD USHER.
I THINK MY BOSS NOTICED AND WAS
LIKE, THEY COULD NOT FIRE ME
BECAUSE I WAS WORKING FOR FREE.
>> YEAH, RIGHT.
>> BUT THEY STRONGLY ENCOURAGED
ME TO NOT COME BACK.
SO ‐‐
>> DID THEY REALLY?
WHAT A SCAM THEY ARE RUNNING.
THE PLAYERS ARE BEING PAID 10s
OF MILLIONS DOLLARS AND YOU HAVE
HIGH SCHOOL KIDS SUPPOSE TO BE
CONTROLLING THE CROWD.
>> YEAH.
BUT I GOT THE TOWEL.
>> YOU STILL HAVE THE TOWEL?
>> STILL HAVE IT, I HAND WASHED
IT.
THERE'S STILL A BIT OF A BEER
STAIN ON IT AND I FRAMED IT AND
IT'S A GOOD MEMORY.
>> YOU HAVE TWINS, RIGHT?
>> I HAVE 9‐YEAR‐OLD TWINS, THEY
ARE AWESOME.
>> 9 YEARS OLD.
LIKE DO THEY WATCH ANY OF YOUR
STUFF AT ALL?
>> YEAH, SO WE STARTED TO LET
THEM WATCH SOME THINGS.
OVER QUARANTINE.
WE DECIDED TO LET THEM WATCH
"COMMUNITY," QUESTIONABLE MOVE.
THANK YOU.
>> DID YOU MAKE SURE BEFORE THEY
SAW IT THAT IT WAS APPROPRIATE
FOR 9?
>> NO.
NO.
>> NO.
>> I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE.
FROM MY IN MEMORY, I THOUGHT IT
WAS MORE APPROPRIATE THAN IT WAS
AND SO WE WERE SHOWING THEM SOME
EPISODES.
ONE OF THE EPISODES WE SHOWED
THEM WAS THE EPISODE WHERE THE
CHARACTER I PLAY, TAKES A CLASS
CALLED NICOLAS CAGE, GOOD OR
BAD.
VERY NORMAL THING.
AND DURING THE EPISODE, MY
CHARACTER IS OBSESSED WITH CAGE
MOVIE
MOVIES AND SO MY KIDS ARE LIKING
IT AND I THINK IT'S HARMLESS AND
IT'S OKAY.
CUT TO A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER,
WE ARE IN A STORE, THE KIDS ARE
RUNNING THROUGH THE AISLES
SLIGHTLY AHEAD OF ME AND I'M
OBSERVING MY SON AND HE IS
STARTING TO PROWL A LITTLE BIT
AND HE IS HISSING AND I'M
WATCHING HIM AND I SEE HIM TURN
AROUND AND GO, DAD, I'M A SEXY
CAT.
SO WE STOPPED WATCHING
"COMMUNITY" AFTER THAT.
>> SURE, HAVE THEY SEEN THIS?
DID THEY SEE YOU IN THAT OUTFIT?
>> THEY DID.
>> THAT IS FROM MYTHIC QUEST,
YOU TURNED IN TO A DIMEEMON.
DID YOU SCARE THEM?
>> I THOUGHT I WOULD, AND I WAS
A LITTLE EXCITED ABOUT IT.
IT'S A STAND ALONE EPISODE WHERE
OUR WORLD IS TRANSFORMED AND
IT'S ABOUT GOING BACK TO WORK
AND WE THROW THIS BIG LARP PARTY
TO GET EVERYONE BACK TO WORK AND
MY CHARACTER WHO IS THE VILLAIN
OF THE OFFICE LITERALLY
TRANSFORMS IN TO THE LORD OF
DARKNESS AND THE EPISODE SHIFTS
IN TO DRAMA AND I THOUGHT IT WAS
GOING TO TERRIFY THEM.
BUT COULD BE A GOOD EPISODE TO
SHOW THEM.
THEY ARE NOT LAUGHING AT ALL.
AND I AM WONDERING IF I SHOULD
TAP OUT OR PAUSE IT BUT THEY ARE
LEANING IN TO IT AND EVENTUALLY
MY CHARACTER TRANSFORMS FROM
BRAD IN TO A DARKNESS DEMON AND
MY HORNS ARE COMING OUT AND I
HAVE TEETH AND MY EYES TURN
BLACKING AND MY DAUGHTER STARTS
CRACKING UP AND I'M LIKE, WHAT
IS GOING ON.
SHE GOES, YOU ARE A HILA AR AHI
VILLAIN, AND I'M LIKE, YOU ARE
SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME.
AND SHE IS NOT SCARED OF ME.
>> THE HO IS CALLED MYTHIC
QUEST, NEW EPISODES FRIDAY ON
APPLE TV PLUS.
DANNY PUDI, EVERYONE.
WE WILL BE BACK WITH THE BAND,
CAMINO.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK
ELIZABETH BANKS AND DANNY PUDI.
APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.
TOMORROW NIGHT, LENA WAITHE AND
KELVIN HARRISON JR., WITH MUSIC
FROM ALLISON RUSSELL,
BRITTNEY SPENCER AND
BRANDI CARLILE.
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT BUT FIRST,
YOU CAN SEE THESE GUYS ON TOUR
WITH DAN AND SHAY STARTING
SEPTEMBER 9th IN GREENVILLE,
SOUTH CAROLINA.
WITH THE SONG "1 LAST CIGARETTE"
FROM THEIR FORTHCOMING ALBUM,
THE BAND CAMINO!
♪ I CAN'T I CAN'T
I CAN'T STAND THE MAN
I'M SEEING IN THE MIRROR
I TRY I TRY TO ♪
♪ GET MY MIND RIGHT
BUT IT NEVER
GETS MUCH CLEARER
MAYBE I SHOULD ♪
♪ SEE SOMEBODY
'CAUSE I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP
EVERYTHING INSIDE MY BODY
IS TELLING ME TO STOP ♪
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS
THEY LEFT ME FOR DEAD AND
I DON'T HAVE A
CLUE WHERE I AM I ♪
♪ LOST MY KEYS NOW
ALL I GOT LEFT IS
TEN MISSED CALLS
AND ONE LAST CIGARETTE ♪
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS
THEY HATE ME AGAIN I
GET TOO DRUNK WHEN
I GET DEPRESSED I ♪
♪ LOST MY NOW ALL
I GOT LEFT IS
TEN MISSED CALLS AND
ONE LAST CIGARETTE ♪
♪ I CAN'T I CAN'T
CAN'T PAY THE RENT
'CAUSE I WASTED ALL MONEY
I TRY I TRY ♪
♪ I TRY TO LAUGH OFF MY LIFE
BUT LATELY
IT'S NOT FUNNY
MAYBE I SHOULD ♪
♪ SEE SOMEBODY
'CAUSE I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP
EVERYTHING INSIDE MY BODY
IS TELLING ME TO STOP ♪
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS
THEY LEFT ME FOR DEAD AND
I DON'T HAVE A
CLUE WHERE I AM I ♪
♪ LOST MY KEYS NOW
ALL I GOT LEFT IS
TEN MISSED CALLS AND
ONE LAST CIGARETTE ♪
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS
THEY HATE ME AGAIN I
GET TOO DRUNK WHEN
I GET DEPRESSED I ♪
♪ LOST MY NOW ALL
I GOT LEFT IS
TEN MISSED CALLS AND
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS
THEY LEFT ME FOR DEAD AND
I DON'T HAVE A
CLUE WHERE I AM I ♪
♪ LOST MY KEYS NOW
ALL I GOT LEFT IS
TEN MISSED CALLS AND
ONE LAST CIGARETTE ♪
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS
THEY HATE ME AGAIN I
GET TOO DRUNK WHEN
I GET DEPRESSED I ♪
♪ LOST MY NOW ALL
I GOT LEFT IS
TEN MISSED CALLS
AND ONE LAST CIGARETTE ♪
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS
LOST MY NOW ALL
I GOT LEFT IS
TEN MISSED CALLS ♪
♪ AND ONE LAST CIGARETTE
MAYBE I SHOULD SEE SOMEBODY
'CAUSE I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP
EVERYTHING INSIDE ♪
♪ MY BODY
IS TELLING ME TO STOP ♪
♪