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>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S

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"JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"!

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TONIGHT,

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ELIZABETH BANKS,

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DANNY PUDI,

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AND MUSIC FROM THE BAND CAMINO.

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AND NOW JIMMY KIMMEL!

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>> Jimmy: HELLO.

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I'M JIMMY.

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I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW.

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THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.

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THANK YOU FOR BRAVING THE RECENT

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OUTBREAK OF NOROVIRUS TO BE

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HERE.

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LAST WEEK, WE HAD A WHOLE BUNCH

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OF PEOPLE AT OUR SHOW GET SICK.

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VIENT ‐‐ VIOLENTLY ILL,

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SUDDENLY,

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LIKE 40 PEOPLE WENT HOME AND

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STARTED THROWING UP.

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DID YOU GET SICK, GUILLERMO?

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>> YOU DIDN'T RAISE YOUR HAND?

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TOO WEAK OR YOU DIDN'T WANT TO

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BE THE LAME ONE IN THE GROUP.

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YEAH, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE

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GOT SICK.

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IT'S WEIRD WHEN YOU ARE REMINDED

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THAT THERE ARE OTHER CONTAGIOUS

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VIRUSES OUT THERE.

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IT'S LIKE "OH, YEAH, HERPES."

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STILL HANGIN' IN.

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I GUESS I ASSUMED THAT THEY'D GO

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AWAY OUT OF LIKE, COURTESY OR

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SOMETHING.

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SO BE WARNED‐ AT ANY POINT

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DURING THE SHOW, ANY ONE OF US

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COULD BLOW.

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HEY, REMEMBER THAT YOUTUBE VIDEO

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WITH THE TWO CUTE BRITISH KIDS,

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"CHARLIE BIT MY FINGER?"

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IT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST VIRAL

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VIDEOS BACK IN 2007.

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THIS THING RACKED UP MORE THAN

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833 MILLION VIEWS BUT NOW IT IS

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OFF YOUTUBE AND IN THE HANDS OF

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A PRIVATE COLLECTOR.

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BECAUSE YESTERDAY CHARLIE'S

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PARENTS AUCTIONED IT OFF AS AN

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NFT, A NON‐FUNGIBLE TOKEN, AND

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IT SOLD FOR 761 THOUSAND

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DOLLARS.

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FOR A 55 SECOND VIDEO ANYONE CAN

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SEE.

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WHICH, I DON'T KNOW.

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IF YOU PAY THREE QUARTERS OF A

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MILLION DOLLARS FOR VIDEO OF A

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KID BITING ANOTHER KID.

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ARE YOU AN ENTREPRENEUR OR JUST

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A WEIRDO?

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SEEMS LIKE THIS SHOULD GET YOU

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ON SOME KIND OF WATCH LIST.

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ANYWAY THE MORAL TO THIS STORY

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IS RECORD EVERY DUMB THING YOUR

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KID SAYS, BECAUSE ONE DAY IT

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MIGHT BUY YOU A HOUSE!

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IN FLORIDA THAT'S ALWAYS AN

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ATTENTION‐GRABBER, ISN'T IT?

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IN FLORIDA, THE SCHOOL YEAR IS

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WINDING DOWN, AND THAT MEANS

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THIS IS THE TIME THE YEARBOOKS

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COME OUT.

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WELL, AT BARTRAM TRAIL HIGH

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SCHOOL NOT TOO FAR FROM

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JACKSONVILLE, 80 STUDENTS, ALL

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FEMALE, WERE SURPRISED TO FIND

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THEIR PHOTOS ALTERED.

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SOMEONE, THIS WAS THE ORIGINAL

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PHOTO, TOOK IT UPON HERSELF TO

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ALTER IT.

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TO COVER UP THEIR SHOULDERS AND

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NECKLINES.

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HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

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THIS IS THE ORIGINAL.

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SHIELD YOUR EYES.

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AND HERE IT IS "FIXED."

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THEY DID THIS 80 TIMES!

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HERE'S ANOTHER ONE AND HOW THEY

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CLEANED IT UP.

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IT'S LIKE THEY PUT THE TALIBAN

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IN CHARGE OF THE YEARBOOK

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COMMITTEE.

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IMAGINE SOME LUNATIC SPENDING

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ALL THAT TIME PHOTOSHOPPING HIGH

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SCHOOL GIRLS' BOOBS?

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AND HOW DID THE SCHOOL SANITIZE

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THE MALE STUDENTS?

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THEY DIDN'T.

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THIS PHOTO IS FROM THE SAME

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YEARBOOK.

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BOYS IN SPEEDOS REMAIN

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UNTOUCHED.

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WOW, YOU'D THINK EDUCATORS IN

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THE STATE THAT GAVE US HOOTERS

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WOULD KNOW BETTER THAN THIS.

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I GUESS NOT.

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ANYWAY, IT'S NICE TO KNOW THERE

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ARE STILL HEROES OUT THERE

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PROTECTING OUR KIDS FROM ALL

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THIS SINFUL VEE‐NECKERY.

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MEANWHILE, WE GOT SOME

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ENCOURAGING NEWS COVID‐WISE.

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CASES OF THE CORONAVIRUS IN THE

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UNITED STATES ARE DOWN TO THEIR

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LOWEST LEVELS IN ALMOST A YEAR.

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SO NOW WE CAN GO OUTSIDE AND BE

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SWARMED BY CICADAS!

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IF IT KEEPS GETTING BETTER AT

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THIS RATE, THEY SAY THAT BY

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JULY 1st, WE'LL NEED A NEW

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EXCUSE TO NOT WANT TO SEE

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PEOPLE.

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NOW THAT THINGS ARE GETTING BACK

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TO NORMAL‐ISH SUPERMARKETS HAVE

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A GLUT OF SANITIZER ON THEIR

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HANDS.

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THERE IS A BIG SURPLUS OF HAND

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SANITIZER AND SO THEY'RE TRYING

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TO GET RID OF IT.

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ONE STORE IN RHODE ISLAND IS

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OFFERING A TEN DOLLAR GIFT CARD

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IF YOU BUY TEN DOLLARS WORTH OF

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HAND SANITIZER.

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YOU REMEMBER HOW HARD IT WAS TO

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GET?

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I ACTUALLY BOUGHT THE

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INGREDIENTS TO MAKE IT!

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AND THEN IT WAS COMPLICATED AND

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I GAVE UP.

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I HAVE 80 GALLONS OF ALOE VERA

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AND ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL IN MY

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GARAGE.

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THE DEMAND WAS SO HUGE, A LOT OF

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VODKA PRODUCERS SWITCHED THEIR

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FACTORIES OVER TO MAKING HAND

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SANITIZER.

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WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE A BAD

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MOVE.

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WE DIDN'T NEED MORE HAND

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SANITIZER, BUT WE DEFINITELY

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NEEDED MORE VODKA!

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AS WE LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS

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VIRUS, SCIENTISTS ARE LEARNING

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HOW TO PROTECT US FROM IT.

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RESEARCHERS IN LONDON HAVE FOUND

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THAT DOGS CAN BE TRAINED TO

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SMELL COVID INFECTIONS WITH A

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SUCCESS RATE OF MORE THAN 90%.

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CATS CAN DETECT IT TOO, BUT THEY

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WON'T LET YOU KNOW UNTIL YOU'RE

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ON A VENTILATOR.

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JERKS.

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DOGS CAN DETECT ALL KINDS OF

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THINGS FROM CANCER, MALARIA EVEN

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EPILEPSY.

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SOME DAY WE'LL GO INTO AN URGENT

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CARE AND IT'LL BE LIKE, "THE DOG

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WILL SEE YOU NOW."

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SENATOR TED CRUZ HAD AN EVENTFUL

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WEEKEND THANKS TO SOMETHING DUMB

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HE TWEETED ABOUT THE ARMY.

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THERE WAS A TIKTOK THAT COMPARED

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A RUSSIAN ARMY RECRUITMENT

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COMMERCIAL TO AN AMERICAN AD.

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IN THE AMERICAN VERSION, THEY

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TLL THE STORY OF A FEMALE

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SOLDIER WHO WAS RAISED BY TWO

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MOMS.

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THE RUSSIAN ONE WAS LIKE DRAGO

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IN "ROCKY 4."

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SO TED, SEEING AN EASY

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OPPORTUNITY, FIRES THIS CRUZ

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MISSILE.

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WITH THIS RESPONSE TO THE

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TIKTOK.

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"HOLY CRAP.

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PERHAPS A WOKE, EMASCULATED

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MILITARY IS NOT THE BEST IDEA."

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TED CRUZ, WHO FOUR YEARS AGO

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TOOK PERMANENT RESIDENCE UP THE

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ASS OF A MAN WHO BEAT HIM IN

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EVERY ELECTION BY CALLING HIS

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WIFE UGLY AND SLANDERING HIS

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ELDERLY FATHER SAYS THIS IS

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EMASCULATING.

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PRIMARILY BECAUSE TED CRUZ IS

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NOT HUMAN HE'S A MOIST,

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GELATINOUS TUBEWORM WHOSE

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ELASTIC BAND PANTS ARE FILLED

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WITH AN INKY DISCHARGE.

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MAYBE THIS WOULD BE MORE TED'S

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SPEED.

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"ARMY."

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"BE ALL YOU CANCUN BE."

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FOR A GUY NAMED TED, HE GIVES

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THE WORST TALKS.

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KENTUCKY SENATOR RAND PAUL IS

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ALSO IN THE RUNNING FOR WORST

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PERSON OF THE WEEKEND.

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RAND, PICTURED HERE SAYS HE HAS

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NO PLANS TO GET VACCINATED.

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HE'S JUST GONNA KEEP GELLING HIS

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HAIR WITH PURELL.

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WHAT PAUL ACTUALLY SAID WAS "I

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WON'T GET THE VACCINE, BUT I MAY

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RECONSIDER."

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JUST THE KIND OF DECISIVE

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LEADERSHIP WE NEED RIGHT NOW.

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THE GOOD NEWS IS EVERYONE IN

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RAND PAUL'S LIFE STAYS AT LEAST

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6 FEET AWAY FROM HIM ANYWAY.

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RAND ISN'T THE ONLY DUDE IN

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CONGRESS WHO DOESN'T WANT TO

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FOLLOW COVID GUIDELINES.

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THERE ARE SEVERAL OTHERS

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INCLUDING

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MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE.

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KLAN MOM IS VERY UPSET WITH

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NANCY PELOSI FOR MAKING HER WEAR

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A MASK TO WORK.

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A RESTRICTION SHE COMPARED TO

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THAT'S RIGHT, YOU GUESSED IT,

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THE HOLOCAUST.

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>> Jimmy: WHERE THE HELL ARE

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THOSE JEWISH SPACE LASERS WHEN

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WE NEED THEM?

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WEARING MASKS IS EXACTLY THE

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TYPE OF ABUSE SEEN IN THE

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HOLOCAUST?

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WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN?

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GO HOME!

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GO BACK TO KEYING OTHER PARENTS'

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CARS AT SOCCER GAMES.

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YOU MONSTER.

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HOUSE MINORITY LEADER

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KEVIN McCARTHY IMMEDIATELY

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CONDEMNED HER COMMENTS.

247
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HE SAID THEY WERE REPREHENSIBLE

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AND TOTALLY INCONSISTENT WITH

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THE VALUES OF THE REPUBLICAN

250
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PARTY.

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NO, JUST KIDDING, HE SAID

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NOTHING.

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HE DID NOTHING AND SAID NOTHING.

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BUT MTG DID GET A BOOST OF

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SUPPORT.

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FROM SOON‐TO‐BE INCARCERATED

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CONGRESSMAN MATT GAETZ, WHO

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TWEETED "I PROUDLY STAND WITH

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@REPMTG."

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MARJORIE AND MATT WENT TO A

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RALLY TOGETHER IN MESA, ARIZONA

262
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THIS WEEKEND.

263
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BEFORE THAT, GAETZ WEIGHED IN ON

264
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A CLOSE FRIEND, A GUY NAMED

265
00:08:24,428 --> 00:08:25,062
JOEL GREENBERG WHO PLED GUILTY

266
00:08:25,062 --> 00:08:25,663
TO SIX CRIMES, INCLUDING SEX

267
00:08:25,663 --> 00:08:26,297
TRAFFICKING AND WHO IS SAID TO

268
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:26,931
BE COOPERATING WITH AUTHORITIES

269
00:08:26,931 --> 00:08:27,464
IN THEIR INVESTIGATION OF

270
00:08:27,464 --> 00:08:33,637
MATT GAETZ.

271
00:08:33,637 --> 00:08:34,672
>>> HE ACCUSED SOMEONE OF HAVING

272
00:08:34,672 --> 00:08:36,640
A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MINOR.

273
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:37,508
IT WAS NOT TRUE.

274
00:08:37,508 --> 00:08:41,078
IT WAS A FALSE THING THAT JOEL

275
00:08:41,078 --> 00:08:42,980
GREENBERG HAS SAID, AND IT

276
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:45,017
LANDED HIM IN QUITE A BIT OF

277
00:08:45,017 --> 00:08:45,382
TROUBLE.

278
00:08:45,382 --> 00:08:48,719
I'M NOT FOCUSED ON SCANDAL, I'M

279
00:08:48,719 --> 00:08:49,954
FOCUSED ON SOCIALISM.

280
00:08:49,954 --> 00:08:50,321
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.

281
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,121
I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT WHETHER OR

282
00:08:51,121 --> 00:08:51,722
NOT I PAID A TEENAGER FOR SEX.

283
00:08:51,722 --> 00:08:53,357
I'M FOCUSED ON MAKING SURE NONE

284
00:08:53,357 --> 00:08:54,191
OF THOSE TEENAGERS GET

285
00:08:54,191 --> 00:08:56,060
HEALTHCARE!

286
00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:56,827
I LOVE IT WHEN THEY TURN ON EACH

287
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:57,861
OTHER.

288
00:08:57,861 --> 00:08:59,229
SPEAKING OF THE SOON TO BE

289
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INCARCERATED, DONALD TRUMP MAY

290
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,233
NOT BE PRESIDENT, BUT HE'S STILL

291
00:09:03,233 --> 00:09:03,867
SPONGING UP ALL THE TAX MONEY HE

292
00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:06,203
CAN.

293
00:09:06,203 --> 00:09:08,005
SINCE JANUARY THE TRUMP

294
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:08,639
ORGANIZATION HAS REPORTEDLY BEEN

295
00:09:08,639 --> 00:09:10,374
CHARGING THE SECRET SERVICE

296
00:09:10,374 --> 00:09:10,941
$400 A NIGHT‐ FOR A ROOM AT

297
00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:12,643
MAR‐A‐LAGO.

298
00:09:12,643 --> 00:09:14,211
SO FAR THE BILL IS MORE THAN

299
00:09:14,211 --> 00:09:15,245
$40,000.

300
00:09:15,245 --> 00:09:16,981
AT THIS POINT, IT WOULD BE

301
00:09:16,981 --> 00:09:18,215
CHEAPER FOR THE SECRET SERVICE

302
00:09:18,215 --> 00:09:21,719
TO BECOME MEMBERS AT MAR‐A‐LAGO.

303
00:09:21,719 --> 00:09:25,990
NOT EVEN A DISCOUNT.

304
00:09:25,990 --> 00:09:26,323
NO, FULL RATE.

305
00:09:26,323 --> 00:09:26,957
HE HAS TO MAKE A PROFIT OFF IT!

306
00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:28,559
AND GOD FORBID THE SECRET

307
00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:30,194
SERVICE ORDERS ROOM SERVICE IT

308
00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:31,662
COULD BANKRUPT THE TREASURY!

309
00:09:31,662 --> 00:09:32,296
THESE POOR SECRET SERVICE AGENTS

310
00:09:32,296 --> 00:09:36,300
THEY SPEND YEARS TRAINING TO BE

311
00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:38,235
PART OF AN ELITE SECURITY TASK

312
00:09:38,235 --> 00:09:39,103
FORCE THEY WIND UP ON THE GOLF

313
00:09:39,103 --> 00:09:41,271
COURSE, WATCHING JABBA THE PUTT

314
00:09:41,271 --> 00:09:43,007
GOBBLE UP LOADED POTATO SKINS.

315
00:09:43,007 --> 00:09:43,607
ALTHOUGH I GUESS IT COULD BE

316
00:09:43,607 --> 00:09:49,079
WORSE.

317
00:09:49,079 --> 00:09:49,680
TODAY I GOOGLED "WOULD TRUMP

318
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:50,314
HAVE SECRET SERVICE PROTECTION

319
00:09:50,314 --> 00:09:54,184
IN PRISON?"

320
00:09:54,184 --> 00:09:57,354
AND TURNS OUT HE WOULD.

321
00:09:57,354 --> 00:10:01,392
IT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.

322
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:01,892
BUT IF IT DID HAPPEN ‐‐

323
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:02,727
I WONDER WHICH LUCKY AGENTS GET

324
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:03,060
THAT DETAIL?

325
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:03,661
FROM NOW ON, YOU'LL BE

326
00:10:03,661 --> 00:10:04,395
PROTECTING THE FORMER PRESIDENT

327
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:06,797
FROM THE CRIPS.

328
00:10:06,797 --> 00:10:07,364
THIS IS NOW DAY FIVE OF THE

329
00:10:07,364 --> 00:10:07,965
CEASE‐FIRE BETWEEN ISRAEL AND

330
00:10:07,965 --> 00:10:09,767
HAMAS.

331
00:10:09,767 --> 00:10:10,768
GUILLERMO, HAVE YOU BEEN

332
00:10:10,768 --> 00:10:14,138
FOLLOWING THE SITUATION IN THE

333
00:10:14,138 --> 00:10:14,471
MIDDLE EAST?

334
00:10:14,471 --> 00:10:19,877
>> A LITTLE BIT, BUT IT'S SASHL.

335
00:10:19,877 --> 00:10:21,245
‐‐ BUT IT'S TERRIBLE.

336
00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:21,812
>> Jimmy: IF YOU'VE BEEN ON

337
00:10:21,812 --> 00:10:22,446
SOCIAL MEDIA THIS PAST WEEK‐ OR

338
00:10:22,446 --> 00:10:26,150
EVER OPENED A NEWSPAPER DURING

339
00:10:26,150 --> 00:10:33,857
THE PAST 35 YEARS, YOU KNOW THE

340
00:10:33,857 --> 00:10:34,458
TOUCHY SUBJECT AND IT'S BEEN

341
00:10:34,458 --> 00:10:36,193
MADE MORE TOUCHY BY SOCIAL

342
00:10:36,193 --> 00:10:38,629
MEDIA.

343
00:10:38,629 --> 00:10:39,263
AND IT HAS BEEN MADE EVEN MORE

344
00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:39,596
SO BY TWITTER.

345
00:10:39,596 --> 00:10:42,132
THERE IS NO RIGHT POSITION TO

346
00:10:42,132 --> 00:10:44,368
TAKE.

347
00:10:44,368 --> 00:10:44,935
FRIENDSHIPS HAVE BEEN ENDED.

348
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:45,536
PUBLIC FIGURES HAVE BEEN TORN

349
00:10:45,536 --> 00:10:46,136
APART.

350
00:10:46,136 --> 00:10:46,737
PEOPLE ARE SCARED TO SPEAK UP

351
00:10:46,737 --> 00:10:47,371
AND NOT JUST ON INSTAGRAM IN THE

352
00:10:47,371 --> 00:10:51,208
PRIVACY OF THEIR HOMES TOO.

353
00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:52,910
>>> IT'S LATE IN TO GAME NIGHT,

354
00:10:52,910 --> 00:10:53,811
YOU HAVE PLAYED EVERYTHING.

355
00:10:53,811 --> 00:10:55,145
IT'S TIME FOR A GAME THAT

356
00:10:55,145 --> 00:10:56,780
WILLING CHALLENGE YOU MENTALLY

357
00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:58,649
AND EMOTIONALLY.

358
00:10:58,649 --> 00:11:00,284
>> WE DO HAVE ONE OTHER GAME.

359
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:00,918
>> WHAT IS IT?

360
00:11:00,918 --> 00:11:03,387
>> LET'S TALK ABOUT ISRAEL.

361
00:11:03,387 --> 00:11:05,689
>> NO, LET'S NOT.

362
00:11:05,689 --> 00:11:07,624
>> NAVIGATE YOUR WAY THROUGH THE

363
00:11:07,624 --> 00:11:08,125
HOLY LAND.

364
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:10,160
STOPPING TO PICK UP NEUTRAL

365
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:11,695
TALKING POINTS ALONG THE WAY.

366
00:11:11,695 --> 00:11:14,031
BUT IF THOSE TALKING POINTS

367
00:11:14,031 --> 00:11:14,765
OFFEND ANYBODY.

368
00:11:14,765 --> 00:11:16,734
>> OBVIOUSLY THIS IS ALL VERY

369
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:17,201
COMPLICATED.

370
00:11:17,201 --> 00:11:18,235
>> NICE ONE, BABE.

371
00:11:18,235 --> 00:11:20,037
>> AND I'M CERTAINLY NO EXPERT.

372
00:11:20,037 --> 00:11:21,605
>> COULD HAVE FOOLED ME.

373
00:11:21,605 --> 00:11:23,240
>> BUT IT JUST SEEM ONES LIKE

374
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:34,918
THE ISRAELI RESPONSE IS D

375
00:11:34,918 --> 00:11:35,285
DSPROPORTIONATE?

376
00:11:35,285 --> 00:11:37,354
>> YES.

377
00:11:37,354 --> 00:11:38,222
>> YOU WILL SPEND HOURS

378
00:11:38,222 --> 00:11:39,423
NAVIGATING THE MINE FIELD AND

379
00:11:39,423 --> 00:11:41,325
HAVE NO FUN DOING IT.

380
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:43,994
>> THIS CONFLICT GOES BACK A

381
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:44,361
LONG, LONG WAY.

382
00:11:44,361 --> 00:11:45,729
>> NICE AND VAGUE.

383
00:11:45,729 --> 00:11:47,197
>> BUT WHEN ONE FORCE

384
00:11:47,197 --> 00:11:48,899
OCCUPIES ‐‐ AM I NOT ALLOWED TO

385
00:11:48,899 --> 00:11:50,000
SAY THAT WORD?

386
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,203
>> I DON'T KNOW, THE RULES ARE

387
00:11:53,203 --> 00:11:54,371
HARD TO FOLLOW.

388
00:11:54,371 --> 00:11:56,306
>> YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

389
00:11:56,306 --> 00:11:57,441
TALKING ABOUT, BUT DON'T LET IT

390
00:11:57,441 --> 00:11:59,343
STOP YOU FROM WEIGHING IN.

391
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:03,480
>> I FEEL SORRY FOR ANYBODY WHO

392
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,517
IS ANYWHERE, THAT FEELS

393
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:07,451
UNCOMFORTABLE BE ANYTHING.

394
00:12:07,451 --> 00:12:08,819
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THAT ONE.

395
00:12:08,819 --> 00:12:10,821
>> YOU WANT TO GIVE HAMAS A

396
00:12:10,821 --> 00:12:11,388
PASSES?

397
00:12:11,388 --> 00:12:13,423
>> THAT IS NOT WHAT HE SAID.

398
00:12:13,423 --> 00:12:17,828
>> THIS GAME MAY NEVER END

399
00:12:17,828 --> 00:12:18,362
SDWL.

400
00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:19,963
>> THE TWO STATE SOLUTION.

401
00:12:19,963 --> 00:12:21,298
THE VIOLENT ESCALATION.

402
00:12:21,298 --> 00:12:22,633
BOTH SIDES ‐‐

403
00:12:22,633 --> 00:12:23,834
[ BUZZER ]

404
00:12:23,834 --> 00:12:25,636
>> WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT

405
00:12:25,636 --> 00:12:27,104
FROM ME!

406
00:12:27,104 --> 00:12:28,972
>> HEY!

407
00:12:28,972 --> 00:12:29,606
>> YOU ‐‐

408
00:12:29,606 --> 00:12:31,241
>> LET'S TALK ABOUT ISRAEL, NOT

409
00:12:31,241 --> 00:12:32,910
FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.

410
00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:35,579
FROM THE MAKERS OF DADDY'S

411
00:12:35,579 --> 00:12:36,180
CHEATING ON MOM.

412
00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:37,915
>> I DON'T EVER WANT TO PLAY

413
00:12:37,915 --> 00:12:38,282
THIS GAME AGAIN.

414
00:12:38,282 --> 00:12:39,617
>> Jimmy: WE'LL SETTLE IT WITH

415
00:12:39,617 --> 00:12:39,950
BATTLESHIP.

416
00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:40,517
WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU

417
00:12:40,517 --> 00:12:41,752
TONIGHT.

418
00:12:41,752 --> 00:12:43,387
DANNY PUDI IS HERE.

419
00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:43,921
WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM THE

420
00:12:43,921 --> 00:12:44,688
BAND CAMINO.

421
00:12:44,688 --> 00:12:45,189
AND WE'LL BE BACK WITH

422
00:12:45,189 --> 00:12:47,958
EIZABETH BANKS.

423
00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:49,693
STICK AROUND

424
00:13:04,509 --> 00:13:04,842
♪

425
00:13:04,842 --> 00:13:05,576
>> Jimmy: TONIGHT, FROM "MYTHIC

426
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,211
QUEST" ON APPLE TV PLUS,

427
00:13:07,211 --> 00:13:08,078
DANNY PUDI IS HERE.

428
00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:15,319
THEN LATER FROM NASHVILLE,

429
00:13:15,319 --> 00:13:18,188
TENNESSEE, THEY DON'T HAVE A

430
00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:22,926
TITLE YET, BUT THEY HAVE AN

431
00:13:22,926 --> 00:13:23,594
ALBUM COVER.

432
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:24,228
LOOK LIKE WE BELIEVE MUSIC FROM

433
00:13:24,228 --> 00:13:24,595
THE BAND CAMINO.

434
00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:25,395
THS WEEK, WE HAVE NEW SHOWS

435
00:13:25,395 --> 00:13:25,996
WITH EMMA STONE, EMILY BLUNT,

436
00:13:25,996 --> 00:13:26,597
LENA WAITHE.

437
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,397
WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM

438
00:13:27,397 --> 00:13:28,165
CHLOE MORIONDO, ALLISON RUSSELL

439
00:13:28,165 --> 00:13:28,899
FEATURING BRITTNEY SPENCER AND

440
00:13:28,899 --> 00:13:30,334
BRANDI CARLILE, AND THE WINNER

441
00:13:30,334 --> 00:13:30,767
OF "AMERICAN IDOL,"

442
00:13:30,767 --> 00:13:35,372
CHAYCE BECKHAM, TOO.

443
00:13:35,372 --> 00:13:35,939
PLEASE JOIN US FOR ALL THAT.

444
00:13:35,939 --> 00:13:36,406
OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN

445
00:13:36,406 --> 00:13:37,641
EMMY‐NOMINATED ACTOR, PRODUCER,

446
00:13:37,641 --> 00:13:38,208
DIRECTOR, AND NOW‐GAME‐SHOW

447
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,643
HOST.

448
00:13:39,643 --> 00:13:42,779
SHE CONTROLS THE WHAMMIES ON

449
00:13:42,779 --> 00:13:43,413
"PRESS YOUR LUCK"‐ SEASON THREE

450
00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:44,047
PREMIERES WEDNESDAY HERE ON ABC.

451
00:13:44,047 --> 00:13:44,615
PLEASE SAY HELLO TO

452
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:53,257
ELIZABETH BANKS.

453
00:13:53,257 --> 00:13:56,059
HELLO, LIZ ARE BETH THE ‐‐

454
00:13:56,059 --> 00:13:57,628
ELIZABETH BANKS HOW ARE YOU?

455
00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:00,097
>> HI, JIMMY.

456
00:14:00,097 --> 00:14:01,698
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU, WHERE ARE

457
00:14:01,698 --> 00:14:03,734
YOU?

458
00:14:03,734 --> 00:14:04,268
>> HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT.

459
00:14:04,268 --> 00:14:06,003
>> I'M GUESSING IT'S NOT

460
00:14:06,003 --> 00:14:07,905
BEAUTIFUL IN HARTFORD, I'VE NOT

461
00:14:07,905 --> 00:14:08,305
BEEN THERE.

462
00:14:08,305 --> 00:14:12,609
>> YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S

463
00:14:12,609 --> 00:14:18,382
PROBABLY NOT THE NICE ESTIMST S

464
00:14:18,382 --> 00:14:19,450
CONNECTICUT BUT THEY HAVE BEEN

465
00:14:19,450 --> 00:14:19,783
NICE.

466
00:14:19,783 --> 00:14:21,118
>> YOU ARE FROM THAT AREA?

467
00:14:21,118 --> 00:14:23,353
>> I AM, AND WHILE I'VE BEEN

468
00:14:23,353 --> 00:14:25,789
WORKING HERE I HAVE BEEN

469
00:14:25,789 --> 00:14:26,857
SPENDING WEEKENDS SEEING FRIENDS

470
00:14:26,857 --> 00:14:28,593
AND FAMILY ALL OVER THE EAST

471
00:14:28,593 --> 00:14:28,926
COAST.

472
00:14:28,926 --> 00:14:30,928
I HAVE SEEN MY DAD WHO I HAVE

473
00:14:30,928 --> 00:14:31,929
NOT SEEN SINCE THE BEGINNING OF

474
00:14:31,929 --> 00:14:36,967
OF THE KBLOPANDEMIC AND I'M SEE

475
00:14:36,967 --> 00:14:40,504
MY MOM THIS MEMORIAL HOLIDAY.

476
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,105
>> HOW WAS THAT SEEING YOUR DAD

477
00:14:42,105 --> 00:14:44,608
AFTER A FULL YEAR OF NOT SEEING

478
00:14:44,608 --> 00:14:45,008
HIM?

479
00:14:45,008 --> 00:14:47,511
>> I FULL CRIED BABY CRIED, THE

480
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:48,178
WHOLE TYPE.

481
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:50,013
I CRIED IN THE CAR, FOR THE TEN

482
00:14:50,013 --> 00:14:51,082
MINUTES BEFORE WE SAW EACH

483
00:14:51,082 --> 00:14:51,415
OTHER.

484
00:14:51,415 --> 00:14:54,151
I CRIED AND THEN I CRIED LIKE A

485
00:14:54,151 --> 00:14:56,386
BABY IN MY DADDY'S ARMS.

486
00:14:56,386 --> 00:14:57,688
LET ME TELL YOU ‐‐

487
00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:58,855
>> NOW DO YOU FEEL PRESSURE?

488
00:14:58,855 --> 00:15:02,059
YOU HAVE TO CRY FOR MOM TOO, YOU

489
00:15:02,059 --> 00:15:02,426
KNOW THAT RIGHT?

490
00:15:02,426 --> 00:15:04,561
>> I HAVE NO DOUBT I WILL BALL

491
00:15:04,561 --> 00:15:07,965
MY EYES OUT FOR MOM TOO.

492
00:15:07,965 --> 00:15:08,466
I'M SO GRATEFUL THEY MADE IT

493
00:15:08,466 --> 00:15:08,799
THROUGH.

494
00:15:08,799 --> 00:15:09,166
YOU KNOW?

495
00:15:09,166 --> 00:15:12,236
IT'S BEEN A CRAZY HARD YEAR FOR

496
00:15:12,236 --> 00:15:12,569
EVERYONE.

497
00:15:12,569 --> 00:15:15,205
>> SURE, YEAH.

498
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:15,839
SO WHAT ABOUT YOUR OWN FAMILY,

499
00:15:15,839 --> 00:15:18,041
YOUR HUSBAND AND KIDS ARE THEY

500
00:15:18,041 --> 00:15:19,309
WITH YOU OR BACK IN L. A. STILL?

501
00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:21,745
>> MOMMY IS ARE HAVING ALONE

502
00:15:21,745 --> 00:15:22,746
TIME, JIMMY.

503
00:15:22,746 --> 00:15:24,081
>> OKAY.

504
00:15:24,081 --> 00:15:26,216
>> IT WAS A LONG PANDEMIC.

505
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:28,552
SO, A LOT OF REMOTE SCHOOL.

506
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:31,221
NO, MY KIDS WERE IN REMOTE

507
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:32,756
SCHOOL FOR SO LONG, AND RIGHT

508
00:15:32,756 --> 00:15:34,725
WHEN I GOT THIS JOB, WE WERE

509
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:35,959
TOLD THEY WERE GOING BACK FULL

510
00:15:35,959 --> 00:15:37,527
TIME AND I COULD NOT TAKE THEM

511
00:15:37,527 --> 00:15:39,963
AWAY FROM SCHOOL AND THEIR

512
00:15:39,963 --> 00:15:40,964
FRIENDS AND THEY HAVE ALREADY

513
00:15:40,964 --> 00:15:41,965
MISSED FOR SO LONG.

514
00:15:41,965 --> 00:15:44,336
SO, MY HUSBAND IS DOING MR. MOM

515
00:15:44,336 --> 00:15:44,701
DUTY.

516
00:15:44,701 --> 00:15:47,037
AN AMAZING JOB, I COULD NOT BE

517
00:15:47,037 --> 00:15:49,639
MORE GRATEFUL TO MY MAN MAX, HE

518
00:15:49,639 --> 00:15:51,075
IS HOLDING DOWN THE FORT BACK

519
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:51,408
HOME.

520
00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:53,010
>> THE LAST TIME YOU WERE ON,

521
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,311
MAX PURCHASED, WHAT WAS IT?

522
00:15:54,311 --> 00:15:57,080
LIKE A HUGE, LIKE A CRATE OF

523
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:58,181
RAMAN NOODLES, CORRECT?

524
00:15:58,181 --> 00:16:00,150
>> YES, CORRECT, HE DID.

525
00:16:00,150 --> 00:16:01,985
>> FOR WHAT REASON HAD HE

526
00:16:01,985 --> 00:16:03,821
PURCHASED THAT CRATE OF RAMAN

527
00:16:03,821 --> 00:16:04,154
NOODLES?

528
00:16:04,154 --> 00:16:06,189
>> LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THE

529
00:16:06,189 --> 00:16:11,895
BEGINNING OF COVID, LIKE DAY

530
00:16:11,895 --> 00:16:12,562
THREE, HE PANICKED AND IT WAS A

531
00:16:12,562 --> 00:16:14,865
PANIC BUY, JIMMY.

532
00:16:14,865 --> 00:16:15,399
HE THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE

533
00:16:15,399 --> 00:16:17,000
NOTHING LEFT ON THE SHELVES AND

534
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,935
THAT ALL WE WOULD BE ABLE TO EAT

535
00:16:18,935 --> 00:16:21,204
WAS RAMAN, WE ARE HAPPY TO

536
00:16:21,204 --> 00:16:23,507
REPORT THAT MOST OF THE RAMAN IS

537
00:16:23,507 --> 00:16:26,777
STILL IN THE PANTRY, BUT WE DID

538
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:30,380
EAT SOME RAMAN AND

539
00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:30,714
CUP‐A‐NOODLES.

540
00:16:30,714 --> 00:16:34,084
A LOT OF CUP‐A‐NOODLES.

541
00:16:34,084 --> 00:16:35,686
>> IT WILL BE GREAT FOR THE NEXT

542
00:16:35,686 --> 00:16:36,019
EMERGENCY.

543
00:16:36,019 --> 00:16:38,388
YOU WILL HAVE IT THROUGH

544
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:39,689
EARTHQUAKES AND WHO KNOWS WHAT

545
00:16:39,689 --> 00:16:40,424
WILL HAPPEN.

546
00:16:40,424 --> 00:16:42,692
>> HE REVERTED TO COLLEGER DORM

547
00:16:42,692 --> 00:16:43,427
EATING BASICALLY.

548
00:16:43,427 --> 00:16:46,196
>> IT'S A GOOD THOUGHT, YOU

549
00:16:46,196 --> 00:16:48,799
KNOW, IT'S JUST, GROSS, THAT'S

550
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:49,132
ALL.

551
00:16:49,132 --> 00:16:51,068
>> IT'S, BUT IT'S JUST ADD WATER

552
00:16:51,068 --> 00:16:53,136
AND THAT'S WHAT WE WANTED.

553
00:16:53,136 --> 00:16:55,739
>> YOU KNOW, WE WERE RUMMAGING

554
00:16:55,739 --> 00:16:57,007
THROUGH YOUR PAST AND WE

555
00:16:57,007 --> 00:16:58,175
DISCOVERED AROUND 20 YEARS AGO,

556
00:16:58,175 --> 00:17:00,177
YOU WERE ON AN EPISODE OF LAW

557
00:17:00,177 --> 00:17:00,777
AND ORDER.

558
00:17:00,777 --> 00:17:03,947
I BELIEVE SVU?

559
00:17:03,947 --> 00:17:06,049
>> SVU, YES.

560
00:17:06,049 --> 00:17:09,719
>> AND THIS IS ALMOST LIKE A

561
00:17:09,719 --> 00:17:11,555
RITE OF PASSAGE IF YOU ARE AN

562
00:17:11,555 --> 00:17:12,756
ACTOR IN NEW YORK, TRUE?

563
00:17:12,756 --> 00:17:13,557
>> ABSOLUTELY.

564
00:17:13,557 --> 00:17:15,892
IF YOU WERE AN ACTOR IN NEW YORK

565
00:17:15,892 --> 00:17:17,527
AND YOU WERE NOT ON ANY OF THE

566
00:17:17,527 --> 00:17:18,428
LAW AND ORDERS, YOU WERE NOT

567
00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:19,563
GOING TO MAKE IT.

568
00:17:19,563 --> 00:17:20,764
THEY HAD AN EPISODE A WEEK

569
00:17:20,764 --> 00:17:22,899
RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES.

570
00:17:22,899 --> 00:17:25,035
THEY HAD 50 MILLION GUEST STARS,

571
00:17:25,035 --> 00:17:27,237
YOU TO GET ONE ON THE SHOW.

572
00:17:27,237 --> 00:17:28,338
I LUCKED OUT WITH MINE.

573
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,439
I'M SURE YOU ARE GOING TO

574
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:30,107
MENTION IT.

575
00:17:30,107 --> 00:17:32,509
>> NO, YOU GO AHEAD, IT'S YOUR

576
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:33,643
STORY, FOR SURE.

577
00:17:33,643 --> 00:17:35,512
YOU LUCKED OUT.

578
00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:37,514
>> SO, MY, THE CHARACTER I

579
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:43,553
PLAYED ON LAW AND ORDER SVU,

580
00:17:43,553 --> 00:17:46,156
SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT.

581
00:17:46,156 --> 00:17:51,828
I PLAYED A PORN STAR WITH A SICK

582
00:17:51,828 --> 00:17:55,232
KID WHOSE ENTIRE LIFE GOAL WAS

583
00:17:55,232 --> 00:17:59,035
TO GET IN A GANG BANG TO GET ON

584
00:17:59,035 --> 00:17:59,936
THE HOWARD STERN SHOW AND MAKE

585
00:17:59,936 --> 00:18:01,238
MONEY AND GET TO VEGAS.

586
00:18:01,238 --> 00:18:05,075
>> OH, GET TO VEGAS, OKAY.

587
00:18:05,075 --> 00:18:06,209
>> WELL THAT'S WHERE THE REAL

588
00:18:06,209 --> 00:18:08,745
PORN HAPPENS, IN TERMS OF THIS

589
00:18:08,745 --> 00:18:09,279
CHARACTER, I DON'T KNOW.

590
00:18:09,279 --> 00:18:12,149
>> WELL, I GREW UP IN LAS VEGAS,

591
00:18:12,149 --> 00:18:17,053
I SAW NOHAPPENING.

592
00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:18,688
I WILL TAKE YOUR WORD ON THAT.

593
00:18:18,688 --> 00:18:20,223
WE HAVE THE CLIP OF THAT

594
00:18:20,223 --> 00:18:21,024
POWERFUL PERFORMANCE AND LET'S

595
00:18:21,024 --> 00:18:21,992
TAKE A LOOK NOW.

596
00:18:21,992 --> 00:18:24,263
>> JOEY, JUST KNEEL DOWN BEHIND

597
00:18:24,263 --> 00:18:24,628
HER.

598
00:18:24,628 --> 00:18:26,767
A LITTLE MORE TO THE LEFT.

599
00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:27,132
GOOD.

600
00:18:27,132 --> 00:18:27,497
GOOD.

601
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:28,899
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

602
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,333
>> YOU RUINED MY SHOT.

603
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:30,967
WHO ARE YOU?

604
00:18:30,967 --> 00:18:35,238
>> POLICE, WE NEED TO TALK TO

605
00:18:35,238 --> 00:18:36,506
JAYNA.

606
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:38,108
>> MOMMY CAN I HAVE MONEY FOR

607
00:18:38,108 --> 00:18:39,609
THE SODA MACHINE

608
00:18:39,609 --> 00:18:41,611
>> I WANT TRIED TO STOP HER ,

609
00:18:41,611 --> 00:18:42,345
I'M SORRY.

610
00:18:42,345 --> 00:18:44,114
>> WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOUR

611
00:18:44,114 --> 00:18:47,150
DAUGHTER DOING IN A ‐‐

612
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:49,452
>> THAT'S THE BEST.

613
00:18:49,452 --> 00:18:52,255
THAT'S THE BAD SITUATION YOU

614
00:18:52,255 --> 00:18:52,689
WERE IN.

615
00:18:52,689 --> 00:18:56,193
>> HONESTLY, I'M SO GRATEFUL YOU

616
00:18:56,193 --> 00:18:58,295
DIDN'T FREEZE FRAME ON THE MOVE

617
00:18:58,295 --> 00:19:00,263
IN THE KITCHEN.

618
00:19:00,263 --> 00:19:02,866
BUT YEAH, THAT WAS MY CHARACTER.

619
00:19:02,866 --> 00:19:04,834
I'M WEARING A G‐STRING I BELIEVE

620
00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:06,269
IN THAT.

621
00:19:06,269 --> 00:19:07,904
>> SAME HERE.

622
00:19:07,904 --> 00:19:10,240
ELIZABETH, I LOVE THAT THE GUY

623
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:15,445
IS IN THE THING, AND EVEN THOUGH

624
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:16,213
THEY HAVE NO CLOTHES ON, WITH WE

625
00:19:16,213 --> 00:19:17,280
ARE LEARNING THEIR JOBS.

626
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,550
THIS ONE HAS A CONSTRUCTIONALLY

627
00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:19,883
HELMET.

628
00:19:19,883 --> 00:19:20,951
THAT IS CRAZY.

629
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:22,285
>> THEY ARE THE VILLAGE PEOPLE

630
00:19:22,285 --> 00:19:24,054
OF PORN BASICALLY, JIMMY.

631
00:19:24,054 --> 00:19:25,589
>> WAS THAT THE LAST TIME YOU

632
00:19:25,589 --> 00:19:28,525
SAW YOUR FATHER CRY WHEN HE SAW

633
00:19:28,525 --> 00:19:34,331
THAT THAT ON TELEVISION?

634
00:19:34,331 --> 00:19:35,932
>> I BELIEVE THAT MY PARENTS

635
00:19:35,932 --> 00:19:37,734
WERE VERY PROUD.

636
00:19:37,734 --> 00:19:38,602
>> OH, THEY WERE EXCITED.

637
00:19:38,602 --> 00:19:39,703
>> WAS THAT THE FIRST TIME THEY

638
00:19:39,703 --> 00:19:41,137
SAW YOU ON TV?

639
00:19:41,137 --> 00:19:41,504
>> NO.

640
00:19:41,504 --> 00:19:43,506
I HAD DONE, MY VERY FIRST THING

641
00:19:43,506 --> 00:19:47,477
I EVER EVER DID WAS, IT WAS NOT

642
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:47,811
MUCH BETTER.

643
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:49,212
WAS AN EPISODE OF AMERICA'S MOST

644
00:19:49,212 --> 00:19:50,413
WANTED IN WHICH I PLAYED A

645
00:19:50,413 --> 00:19:52,415
MURDER VICTIM BE WHO GETS RUN

646
00:19:52,415 --> 00:19:55,452
OVER BY A CAR.

647
00:19:55,452 --> 00:19:58,355
AND I HAD A ROUTINE, AND THE

648
00:19:58,355 --> 00:20:00,357
STUNT WAS ‐‐ SO ON THE DAY THAT

649
00:20:00,357 --> 00:20:01,958
I SHOT THE STUNT, I HAD NEVER

650
00:20:01,958 --> 00:20:03,827
BEEN ON A SET OF ANYTHING IN MY

651
00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:04,628
LIFE.

652
00:20:04,628 --> 00:20:06,196
SO, I WENT TO THE ‐‐ I

653
00:20:06,196 --> 00:20:08,698
AUDITIONED AND I WON THE JOB OF

654
00:20:08,698 --> 00:20:11,901
MURDER VICTIM ON AMERICA'S MOST

655
00:20:11,901 --> 00:20:12,369
WANTED.

656
00:20:12,369 --> 00:20:14,704
AND I HAD TO HAVE A SHOT, THE

657
00:20:14,704 --> 00:20:16,539
SHOT WAS, I LAID OVER THE HOOD

658
00:20:16,539 --> 00:20:18,608
OF A CAR AND THEN I GOT UP AND

659
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,443
THEN I WALKED BACKWARDS AND YOU

660
00:20:20,443 --> 00:20:23,046
REMEMBER I WAS EATING CHIPS, AND

661
00:20:23,046 --> 00:20:24,648
THEN THEY EVERSED THE TAPE AND

662
00:20:24,648 --> 00:20:26,650
PLAYED IT FORWARD SO IT LOOKS

663
00:20:26,650 --> 00:20:27,717
LIKE I'M WALKING FORWARD AND

664
00:20:27,717 --> 00:20:29,386
EATING CHIP‐S AND GET RUN OVER

665
00:20:29,386 --> 00:20:30,520
AND HIT BY A CAR.

666
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,921
I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT.

667
00:20:31,921 --> 00:20:34,691
THAT WILL BE THE WHOLE BIT.

668
00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:35,592
THEN I HAVE A WHOLE VIEWING

669
00:20:35,592 --> 00:20:35,959
PARTY.

670
00:20:35,959 --> 00:20:38,361
I WAS IN COLLEGE AT THE TIME.

671
00:20:38,361 --> 00:20:39,496
MY ENTIRE SORORITY GOT TOGETHER

672
00:20:39,496 --> 00:20:40,697
TO WATCH THE SHOW WITH ME AND

673
00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:42,499
THEY PLAYED THE SHOW AND THERE I

674
00:20:42,499 --> 00:20:44,868
AM WALKING DOWN THE HIGHWAY, EAT

675
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:45,201
AUTOING CHIPS.

676
00:20:45,201 --> 00:20:47,470
HERE COMES THE CAR.

677
00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:48,605
IT HITS ME.

678
00:20:48,605 --> 00:20:51,508
WHAT THEY FAILED TO TELL ME THEY

679
00:20:51,508 --> 00:20:52,575
WERE GOING TO SHOOT.

680
00:20:52,575 --> 00:20:55,245
THEY THREW, THEY PUT MY CLOTHES

681
00:20:55,245 --> 00:20:57,547
ON LIKE A SEX DOLL DUMMY, NO

682
00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:59,182
JOKE AND TOSSED IT IN THE AIR

683
00:20:59,182 --> 00:21:02,085
AND THEN LANDED IT SO IT REALLY

684
00:21:02,085 --> 00:21:04,220
LOOKED LIKE IT HIT ME AND THREW

685
00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:06,222
ME LIKE 20 FEET BUT THEY JUST

686
00:21:06,222 --> 00:21:08,258
THREW A SEX DOLL AND MY CLOTHES

687
00:21:08,258 --> 00:21:09,559
20 FEET AND LANDED.

688
00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:10,360
IT'S SO FUNNY.

689
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:13,330
IT'S SO RIDICULOUS, AND IT STILL

690
00:21:13,330 --> 00:21:13,763
MAX

691
00:21:13,763 --> 00:21:14,431
MAKES ME LAUGH.

692
00:21:14,431 --> 00:21:15,632
I MADE EVERYONE WATCH THAT.

693
00:21:15,632 --> 00:21:17,233
>> WHEN WE COME BACK, WE ARE

694
00:21:17,233 --> 00:21:19,135
TALKING ABOUT YOUR NEW SHOW,

695
00:21:19,135 --> 00:21:21,705
SEASON THREE OF PRESS YOUR LUCK.

696
00:21:21,705 --> 00:21:23,073
ELIZABETH BANKS IS WITH US, WE

697
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,474
WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

698
00:21:27,143 --> 00:21:28,912
PORTIONS OF "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"

699
00:21:28,912 --> 00:21:31,448
ARE BROUGHT

700
00:21:31,448 --> 00:21:32,016
TO YOU BY SMIRNOFF RED, WHITE,

701
00:21:32,016 --> 00:21:32,349
AND BERRY.

702
00:21:32,349 --> 00:21:32,916
ENTER TO WIN THE SUMMER OF YOUR

703
00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:33,249
DREAMS AT

704
00:21:33,249 --> 00:21:34,517
"2021DREAMS.SMIRNOFF.COM."

705
00:21:39,456 --> 00:21:39,789
♪

706
00:21:39,789 --> 00:21:40,790
DANNY PUDI AND MUSIC FROM THE

707
00:21:40,790 --> 00:21:43,693
BAND CAMINO ARE COMING UP.

708
00:21:43,693 --> 00:21:47,697
ELIZABETH BANKS IS WITH US.

709
00:21:47,697 --> 00:21:52,235
SHE IS THE HOST OF PROSECUTES

710
00:21:52,235 --> 00:21:52,569
YO

711
00:21:52,569 --> 00:21:53,303
‐‐ OF PRESS YOUR LUCK.

712
00:21:53,303 --> 00:21:59,075
WHAT IS THE CHARACTER?

713
00:21:59,075 --> 00:22:00,477
>> THE WHAMMY.

714
00:22:00,477 --> 00:22:02,612
>> CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, HE

715
00:22:02,612 --> 00:22:05,415
IS THE DEVIL, OR DEMON IN

716
00:22:05,415 --> 00:22:06,149
CARTOON FORM?

717
00:22:06,149 --> 00:22:11,821
>> RIGHT, HE IS HORRIBLE.

718
00:22:11,821 --> 00:22:16,059
>> EVERYONE SAYS NO WHAMMIES,

719
00:22:16,059 --> 00:22:17,861
AND MAYBE IF THEY WERE MORE

720
00:22:17,861 --> 00:22:18,995
WELCOMING MAYBE HE WOULD NOT

721
00:22:18,995 --> 00:22:19,763
TAKE ALL THEIR MONEY.

722
00:22:19,763 --> 00:22:20,864
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.

723
00:22:20,864 --> 00:22:23,299
I DID NOTICE ON THE SHOW, THE

724
00:22:23,299 --> 00:22:25,235
CONTESTANTS ARE SO EXCITED.

725
00:22:25,235 --> 00:22:30,342
LIKE, TO A POINT OF ALMOST BREAK

726
00:22:30,342 --> 00:22:30,707
DOWN.

727
00:22:30,707 --> 00:22:31,775
YOU KNOW?

728
00:22:31,775 --> 00:22:33,710
>> WE HAVE SOME INCREDIBLE

729
00:22:33,710 --> 00:22:34,043
CHARACTERS.

730
00:22:34,043 --> 00:22:37,080
I MEAN, EVERY TYPE.

731
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:38,148
THE PEOPLE THAT DO IT LOVE IT.

732
00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:40,483
WE HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT

733
00:22:40,483 --> 00:22:44,621
WATCH THE SHOW IN THE '80s AND

734
00:22:44,621 --> 00:22:46,089
WE HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT

735
00:22:46,089 --> 00:22:47,490
COME BACK AND HOW EXCITING TO

736
00:22:47,490 --> 00:22:48,458
WIN MONEY.

737
00:22:48,458 --> 00:22:51,461
YOU KNOW, IT TRULY IS PRETTY

738
00:22:51,461 --> 00:22:53,062
EXCITING AND LIFE CHANGING AND

739
00:22:53,062 --> 00:22:54,764
ALSO, WE GIVE AWAY TONS OF

740
00:22:54,764 --> 00:22:56,701
REALLY INTERESTING AND WHACKY

741
00:22:56,701 --> 00:22:57,066
PRIZES.

742
00:22:57,066 --> 00:23:00,970
WE GIVE AWAY ICE CREAM MACHINES

743
00:23:00,970 --> 00:23:05,142
AND CARS AND A LOT OF CARS THIS

744
00:23:05,142 --> 00:23:05,476
SO

745
00:23:05,476 --> 00:23:05,809
SEASON.

746
00:23:05,809 --> 00:23:07,210
IT'S COOL.

747
00:23:07,210 --> 00:23:08,645
>> I HAVE GIVEN PEOPLE THINGS AS

748
00:23:08,645 --> 00:23:11,080
HOST OF A SHOW AND WORKING ON

749
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:12,081
RADIO, YOU ALMOST NEVER GET THE

750
00:23:12,081 --> 00:23:13,483
REACTION YOU HOPE FOR.

751
00:23:13,483 --> 00:23:15,485
YOU ALMOST, A LOT OF TIMES YOU

752
00:23:15,485 --> 00:23:16,519
JUST GET A STUNNED SILENCE AND

753
00:23:16,519 --> 00:23:18,388
THAT IS IT AND YOU ARE LIKE,

754
00:23:18,388 --> 00:23:21,291
HEY, I JUST GAVE YOU AN

755
00:23:21,291 --> 00:23:22,926
ESCALADE, HOW ABOUT SOMETHING?

756
00:23:22,926 --> 00:23:24,093
ON YOUR SHOW, IT APPEARS THAT

757
00:23:24,093 --> 00:23:28,031
YOU ARE GIVING THE CONTESTANTS

758
00:23:28,031 --> 00:23:29,566
METH OR SOMETHING BACK STAGE.

759
00:23:29,566 --> 00:23:31,201
THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THEIR

760
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:31,668
MINDS.

761
00:23:31,668 --> 00:23:33,536
>> YEAH, WELL, WHAT, AND YOU

762
00:23:33,536 --> 00:23:34,437
KNOW, WE PERSONALIZE A LOT OF

763
00:23:34,437 --> 00:23:36,506
THE PRIZES TOO, JIMMY.

764
00:23:36,506 --> 00:23:40,310
SO UNLIKE ANY OTHER GAME SHOW,

765
00:23:40,310 --> 00:23:42,111
WE DO A DEEP DIVE IN PEOPLE'S

766
00:23:42,111 --> 00:23:43,713
LIVES AND WE FIND OUT WHAT THEY

767
00:23:43,713 --> 00:23:45,415
LIKE AND ARE INTERESTED IN.

768
00:23:45,415 --> 00:23:46,616
WHEN THEY GET THE PRIZE, THEY

769
00:23:46,616 --> 00:23:48,551
NEED OR LOVE THE PRIZE.

770
00:23:48,551 --> 00:23:50,286
THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO LOVE

771
00:23:50,286 --> 00:23:51,554
CHIPOTLE THREE TIMES A WEEK AND

772
00:23:51,554 --> 00:23:54,824
I'M LIKE, I'M GIVING YOU

773
00:23:54,824 --> 00:23:58,096
THEY LOSE THEIR MINDS. RS.

774
00:23:58,096 --> 00:23:58,461
YEAH.

775
00:23:58,461 --> 00:23:59,796
>> I SEE.

776
00:23:59,796 --> 00:24:02,332
SO, IF YOU FIND SOMEBODY WITH A

777
00:24:02,332 --> 00:24:03,833
FUNGAL INFECTION, YOU WILL GIVE

778
00:24:03,833 --> 00:24:05,768
THEM LAMASIL OR SOMETHING AND

779
00:24:05,768 --> 00:24:06,336
THEY WILL BE HAPPY.

780
00:24:06,336 --> 00:24:07,737
>> YOU WOULD BE SHOCKED WHAT

781
00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:08,371
PEOPLE WANT.

782
00:24:08,371 --> 00:24:09,573
IT'S PRETTY INCREDIBLE,

783
00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:09,906
ACTUALLY.

784
00:24:09,906 --> 00:24:10,673
>> I SEE, YEAH.

785
00:24:10,673 --> 00:24:12,108
THAT MAKES SENSE.

786
00:24:12,108 --> 00:24:13,977
WHAT DO YOU LIKE AS FAR AS

787
00:24:13,977 --> 00:24:14,944
PLAYING GAMES GOES?

788
00:24:14,944 --> 00:24:17,180
ARE YOU A GOOD SPORT?

789
00:24:17,180 --> 00:24:19,682
>> NO I'M A TERRIBLE LOSER.

790
00:24:19,682 --> 00:24:21,150
>> NOT A GOOD SPORT.

791
00:24:21,150 --> 00:24:22,485
>> I REALLY LIKE WINNING.

792
00:24:22,485 --> 00:24:25,622
>> DID YOU PLAY SPORTS AS A KID?

793
00:24:25,622 --> 00:24:27,357
>> I PLAYED SOFTBALL, AND A

794
00:24:27,357 --> 00:24:29,559
LITTLE BIT OF BASKETBALL.

795
00:24:29,559 --> 00:24:32,195
I WON A MOST IMPROVED BASKETBALL

796
00:24:32,195 --> 00:24:33,229
TROPHY WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD.

797
00:24:33,229 --> 00:24:35,265
THAT IS ABOUT THE ONLY THING,

798
00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:37,233
THAT AND I WON A CHEERLEADING

799
00:24:37,233 --> 00:24:47,810
AWARD FOR BEING THE SUBPOPER

800
00:24:47,810 --> 00:24:50,179
PSYCHED CHEER LEADER.

801
00:24:50,179 --> 00:24:52,282
I THINK THAT MEANS I HAD A BIG

802
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:53,917
SMILE AND THEY COULD NOT AVOID

803
00:24:53,917 --> 00:24:58,989
MY TEETH WHEN I WAS ON THE

804
00:24:58,989 --> 00:24:59,322
PYRAMID.

805
00:24:59,322 --> 00:25:03,159
I HAD TWO TROPHIES GROWING UP.

806
00:25:03,159 --> 00:25:05,128
MOST IMPROVED IN BASKETBALL AND

807
00:25:05,128 --> 00:25:08,264
SUPER PSYCHED CHEER LEADER.

808
00:25:08,264 --> 00:25:11,436
>> A ELECTRTR TROPHY IS A TROPH

809
00:25:11,436 --> 00:25:11,801
KNOW.

810
00:25:11,801 --> 00:25:13,903
YOUR HUSBAND IS A SPORTS NUT.

811
00:25:13,903 --> 00:25:16,806
HE WROTE A FANTASY FOOTBALL

812
00:25:16,806 --> 00:25:17,206
BOOK, AS I RECALL.

813
00:25:17,206 --> 00:25:20,577
>> HE DID, BUT THE LOVE OF HIS

814
00:25:20,577 --> 00:25:22,913
LIFE ARE THE PORTLAND TRAIL

815
00:25:22,913 --> 00:25:23,246
BLAZERS.

816
00:25:23,246 --> 00:25:26,182
HE GREW UP IN OREGON, HE HAD A

817
00:25:26,182 --> 00:25:27,550
BIRTHDAY IN MAY AND WE HAVE BEEN

818
00:25:27,550 --> 00:25:29,118
TOGETHER A LONG TIME, AS YOU

819
00:25:29,118 --> 00:25:29,519
KNOW, JIMMY.

820
00:25:29,519 --> 00:25:31,321
SO IT'S HARD TO COME UP WITH

821
00:25:31,321 --> 00:25:33,790
THINGS AND SURPRISE HIM AND SO

822
00:25:33,790 --> 00:25:35,992
THIS YEAR, I SLID IN TO THE DMs

823
00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:38,962
OF DAMIAN LILLARD AND I ASKED

824
00:25:38,962 --> 00:25:40,997
HIM IF HE WOULD NOT MIND JUST

825
00:25:40,997 --> 00:25:42,199
DM'ING A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY

826
00:25:42,199 --> 00:25:42,532
HUSBAND.

827
00:25:42,532 --> 00:25:44,067
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

828
00:25:44,067 --> 00:25:46,469
HE DM'ED ME BACK, GOT YOU AND HE

829
00:25:46,469 --> 00:25:48,338
DID IT AND IT'S LIKE THE

830
00:25:48,338 --> 00:25:50,707
SWEETEST THING AND MY HUSBAND

831
00:25:50,707 --> 00:25:52,275
LOST HIS MIND.

832
00:25:52,275 --> 00:25:52,976
>> WOW.

833
00:25:52,976 --> 00:25:54,911
>> HE WAS LIKE, DID YOU DO THIS?

834
00:25:54,911 --> 00:25:55,578
WHAT IS HAPPENING?

835
00:25:55,578 --> 00:25:58,881
DID YOU SEE THIS?

836
00:25:58,881 --> 00:26:00,316
I WAS PRETTY PROUD OF MYSELF.

837
00:26:00,316 --> 00:26:01,250
>> YOU SHOULD BE.

838
00:26:01,250 --> 00:26:02,885
YOU DO COME UP WITH PERSONALIZED

839
00:26:02,885 --> 00:26:03,553
PRIZE IDEAS.

840
00:26:03,553 --> 00:26:05,622
THAT IS NICE, NOT JUST ON THE

841
00:26:05,622 --> 00:26:05,955
SHOW.

842
00:26:05,955 --> 00:26:08,191
THE SHOW IS PRESS YOUR LUCK, IT

843
00:26:08,191 --> 00:26:09,626
PREMIERS WEDNESDAY NIGHT, 8:00

844
00:26:09,626 --> 00:26:12,528
HERE ON ABC, ELIZABETH BANKS,

845
00:26:12,528 --> 00:26:14,163
THANK YOU, ELIZABETH.

846
00:26:14,163 --> 00:26:16,466
WE WILL BE BACK WITH DANNY PUDI.

847
00:26:16,466 --> 00:26:20,703
♪

848
00:26:27,143 --> 00:26:29,245
>>> SUMMER 2020 IS THE WORST, I

849
00:26:29,245 --> 00:26:32,015
HAVE ARE TO STAY INSIDE ALL DAY

850
00:26:32,015 --> 00:26:33,249
IN MY TANK TOP AND THE ONLY

851
00:26:33,249 --> 00:26:36,152
THING TO DO IS WASH MY HANDS AND

852
00:26:36,152 --> 00:26:37,988
SEARCH FOR TOILET PAPER ON THE

853
00:26:37,988 --> 00:26:38,321
INTERNET.

854
00:26:38,321 --> 00:26:39,822
SUMMER 2021 IS THE BEST.

855
00:26:39,822 --> 00:26:41,457
I CAN GO OUTSIDE AND WEAR MY

856
00:26:41,457 --> 00:26:43,126
FAVORITE SUIT TO THE BEACH AND

857
00:26:43,126 --> 00:26:44,894
NEVER WASH MY HANDS AND BY

858
00:26:44,894 --> 00:26:47,063
TOILET PAPER IN PERSON LIKE THE

859
00:26:47,063 --> 00:26:48,698
FOUNDING FATHERS INTENDED.

860
00:26:48,698 --> 00:26:50,833
>> I RUN OUT OF GROCERIES AND I

861
00:26:50,833 --> 00:26:52,101
CANNOT GO TO THE STORE.

862
00:26:52,101 --> 00:26:56,439
ALL I HAVE TO DRINK IS A SOUP.

863
00:26:56,439 --> 00:27:01,811
>> WELL, I HAVE SMIRNOFF'S NEW

864
00:27:01,811 --> 00:27:03,946
RED, WHITE AND BERRY DRINKS.

865
00:27:03,946 --> 00:27:06,282
YOU CAN TELL IT'S COLD WHEN THE

866
00:27:06,282 --> 00:27:07,150
CAN TURNS BLUE, WHY?

867
00:27:07,150 --> 00:27:12,121
BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME.

868
00:27:12,121 --> 00:27:14,691
>> ALL MY GOLD FISH ARE DEAD.

869
00:27:14,691 --> 00:27:16,759
>> HEY, FUTURE JIMMY, WHY IS

870
00:27:16,759 --> 00:27:21,130
SUMMER 2021 SO GOOD?

871
00:27:21,130 --> 00:27:21,831
>> WHAT?

872
00:27:21,831 --> 00:27:24,567
>> HEY, FUTURE JIMMY, WHY IS

873
00:27:24,567 --> 00:27:25,601
2021 SO GOOD?

874
00:27:25,601 --> 00:27:27,336
>> I'M RIGHT OVER HERE.

875
00:27:27,336 --> 00:27:29,238
WHY ‐‐ HUH?

876
00:27:29,238 --> 00:27:31,340
>> HEY, FUTURE JIMMY ‐‐

877
00:27:31,340 --> 00:27:34,043
>> BECAUSE OF SMIRNOFF'S SUMMER

878
00:27:34,043 --> 00:27:37,146
OF 2021 DREAMS THEY HAVE 2021

879
00:27:37,146 --> 00:27:38,815
SUMMER DREAM GIVE AWAYS,

880
00:27:38,815 --> 00:27:39,882
EVERYTHING FROM COOL BEACH GEAR

881
00:27:39,882 --> 00:27:42,452
TO AMAZING VACATIONS.

882
00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:45,855
>> CAN I COME TO YOUR SUMMER?

883
00:27:45,855 --> 00:27:48,694
>> OF COURSE, HOP ON OVER TO MY

884
00:27:48,694 --> 00:27:49,059
SUMMER.

885
00:27:49,059 --> 00:27:49,392
>> WOW.

886
00:27:49,392 --> 00:27:51,794
>> THANKS, JIMMY, 2021 IS GREAT.

887
00:27:51,794 --> 00:27:57,266
>> WELL, DON'T THANK ME IN,

888
00:27:57,266 --> 00:28:01,337
THANK SMI ARRNOFF, HEY, DID YOU

889
00:28:01,337 --> 00:28:03,039
JUSTIN V INVENT TIME TRAVEL?

890
00:28:03,039 --> 00:28:06,843
>> YES, I DID.

891
00:28:06,843 --> 00:28:09,378
>> MUST BE 21 PLUS TO ENTER.

892
00:28:15,051 --> 00:28:15,518
♪

893
00:28:15,518 --> 00:28:16,119
>> Jimmy: MUSIC FROM THE BAND

894
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:16,686
CAMINO IS ON THE WAY.

895
00:28:16,686 --> 00:28:18,888
YOU KNOW OUR NEXT GUEST FROM SIX

896
00:28:18,888 --> 00:28:19,689
SEASONS ON THE SHOW "COMMUNITY."

897
00:28:19,689 --> 00:28:21,157
NOW HE IS HEAD OF MOETIZATION

898
00:28:21,157 --> 00:28:21,557
ON "MYTHIC QUEST."

899
00:28:21,557 --> 00:28:29,465
NEW EPISODES AIR FRIDAYS ON

900
00:28:29,465 --> 00:28:30,066
APPLE TV PLUS, PLEASE WELCOME

901
00:28:30,066 --> 00:28:36,806
DANNY PUDI.

902
00:28:36,806 --> 00:28:44,747
♪

903
00:28:44,747 --> 00:28:46,015
>>> HOW'S IT GOING?

904
00:28:46,015 --> 00:28:46,415
>> GREAT.

905
00:28:46,415 --> 00:28:47,183
HOW ARE YOU DOING?

906
00:28:47,183 --> 00:28:48,351
>> I'M DOING WELL.

907
00:28:48,351 --> 00:28:51,554
YOU KNOW, I WAS ACTUALY WEIRDLY

908
00:28:51,554 --> 00:28:52,989
WALKING NOT THAT IT'S WEIRD THAT

909
00:28:52,989 --> 00:28:53,322
I WAS WALKING.

910
00:28:53,322 --> 00:28:55,291
BUT I WAS WALKING AND I

911
00:28:55,291 --> 00:28:57,527
OVERHEARD THIS KID TELLING HIS

912
00:28:57,527 --> 00:29:01,430
MOM ABOUT SNOOP DOG BEING ON

913
00:29:01,430 --> 00:29:06,869
YOUR SHOW AND ROB McILH ENEY WAS

914
00:29:06,869 --> 00:29:10,306
HERE AND WAS TALKING ABOUT

915
00:29:10,306 --> 00:29:12,375
GETTING HIGH WITH SNOOP DOG, DID

916
00:29:12,375 --> 00:29:13,643
YOU PAR TAKE IN THAT PARTICULAR

917
00:29:13,643 --> 00:29:14,143
EXPERIENCE WITH SNOOP?

918
00:29:14,143 --> 00:29:15,578
>> NO, NO, JIMMY.

919
00:29:15,578 --> 00:29:18,581
THIS WAS A BIG EPISODE FOR ME.

920
00:29:18,581 --> 00:29:20,616
I PLAY THIS SORT OF INTENSE

921
00:29:20,616 --> 00:29:21,350
RUTHLESS CHARACTER AND THIS

922
00:29:21,350 --> 00:29:22,787
EPISODE GOES IN TO MY BACK

923
00:29:22,787 --> 00:29:23,152
STORY.

924
00:29:23,152 --> 00:29:24,353
YOU GET TO SEE A DIFFERENT SIDE

925
00:29:24,353 --> 00:29:25,988
OF MY CHARACTER.

926
00:29:25,988 --> 00:29:27,523
SO I WAS SUPER EXCITED ANDS

927
00:29:27,523 --> 00:29:32,195
ALSO, MY BEST FRIEND, LONG TIME

928
00:29:32,195 --> 00:29:34,497
COMEDY FRIEND IS IN THE EPISODE

929
00:29:34,497 --> 00:29:35,998
AS MY BROTHER.

930
00:29:35,998 --> 00:29:37,266
WE GET TO DO EMOTIONAL SCENES

931
00:29:37,266 --> 00:29:37,867
TOGETHER.

932
00:29:37,867 --> 00:29:39,101
MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF

933
00:29:39,101 --> 00:29:41,537
THE STAGE, SNOOP IS GIVING A

934
00:29:41,537 --> 00:29:42,638
CONCERT, PEOPLE ARE GETTING

935
00:29:42,638 --> 00:29:45,009
HIGH, PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR

936
00:29:45,009 --> 00:29:45,374
MINDS.

937
00:29:45,374 --> 00:29:48,345
AND I'M HERE CRYING WITH MY BEST

938
00:29:48,345 --> 00:29:48,678
FRIEND.

939
00:29:48,678 --> 00:29:51,180
KIND OF LIKE I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL

940
00:29:51,180 --> 00:29:51,714
AGAIN.

941
00:29:51,714 --> 00:29:55,553
>> IT DOES HAVE THE MAKE UP OF A

942
00:29:55,553 --> 00:29:55,918
PARTY.

943
00:29:55,918 --> 00:29:57,987
YOU GOT, I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO

944
00:29:57,987 --> 00:29:59,523
TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS FOR A

945
00:29:59,523 --> 00:29:59,856
YEAR.

946
00:29:59,856 --> 00:30:02,959
THIS, WHEN YOU ARE ON LARRY KING

947
00:30:02,959 --> 00:30:05,027
SHOW, LARRY KING IS DOING THIS

948
00:30:05,027 --> 00:30:06,329
INTERNET SHOW, I HAVE BEEN ON IT

949
00:30:06,329 --> 00:30:08,664
A COUPLE OF TIMES AND LARRY WAS

950
00:30:08,664 --> 00:30:11,335
STILL PLUGGING AWAY, GOD BLESS

951
00:30:11,335 --> 00:30:11,700
HIM.

952
00:30:11,700 --> 00:30:13,135
>> YEP.

953
00:30:13,135 --> 00:30:13,736
YEP.

954
00:30:13,736 --> 00:30:16,172
>> YOU BECAME A MEME AS A RESULT

955
00:30:16,172 --> 00:30:18,774
OF ONE OF THE MOMENTS ON THE

956
00:30:18,774 --> 00:30:19,107
SHOW.

957
00:30:19,107 --> 00:30:20,743
>> YEAH.

958
00:30:20,743 --> 00:30:21,108
YEAH.

959
00:30:21,108 --> 00:30:23,312
IT WAS A BIG SURPRISE FOR ME.

960
00:30:23,312 --> 00:30:26,883
I WOKE UP ONE MORNING A BUNCH OF

961
00:30:26,883 --> 00:30:29,118
TEXT FROM FRIENDS, A NEIGHBOR

962
00:30:29,118 --> 00:30:32,722
DROPPED OFF SOCKS AND A BAG OF

963
00:30:32,722 --> 00:30:34,891
COFFEE AND IS C WAS CONFUSED AN

964
00:30:34,891 --> 00:30:36,292
PEOPLE WERE LIKE, YOU ARE

965
00:30:36,292 --> 00:30:38,194
TRENDING AND I'M LIKE, FOR WHAT?

966
00:30:38,194 --> 00:30:44,033
>> LET SHOW EVERYONE FOR WHART.

967
00:30:44,033 --> 00:30:48,170
>> A LUXURY YOU CANNOT LIVE

968
00:30:48,170 --> 00:30:48,503
WITHOUT.

969
00:30:48,503 --> 00:30:48,938
>> COFFEE.

970
00:30:48,938 --> 00:30:50,139
>> YOU CAN GET IT ANYWHERE.

971
00:30:50,139 --> 00:30:52,308
>> I GUESS, YEAH, LIKE GOOD

972
00:30:52,308 --> 00:30:52,673
COFFEE.

973
00:30:52,673 --> 00:30:53,976
>> I LOVE COFFEE TOO.

974
00:30:53,976 --> 00:30:55,111
>> I LIKE MY SOCKS.

975
00:30:55,111 --> 00:30:56,212
>> SOCKS?

976
00:30:56,212 --> 00:30:57,980
THAT'S NOT A LUXURY.

977
00:30:57,980 --> 00:31:05,655
COFFEE ‐‐ COFFEE AND SOCKS ARE

978
00:31:05,655 --> 00:31:07,556
NOT A LUXURY.

979
00:31:07,556 --> 00:31:09,425
>> WHAT IS A LUXURY?

980
00:31:09,425 --> 00:31:14,196
>> A PRIVATE PLANE.

981
00:31:14,196 --> 00:31:15,431
>> LARRY I'M ON DUCK TAILS.

982
00:31:15,431 --> 00:31:18,200
>> AND THAT, PEOPLE STARTED

983
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,202
SELLING SHIRTS THAT SAID IS,

984
00:31:20,202 --> 00:31:21,804
LARRY I'M ON DUCK TAILS.

985
00:31:21,804 --> 00:31:23,973
>> YEAH, IT BECAME A THING.

986
00:31:23,973 --> 00:31:27,677
I WAS RELIEVED AND THANKFUL I

987
00:31:27,677 --> 00:31:29,145
HAD A FUN MOMENT WITH LARRY.

988
00:31:29,145 --> 00:31:31,580
>> THAT WAS A PERFECT RESPONSE

989
00:31:31,580 --> 00:31:31,948
TO THAT.

990
00:31:31,948 --> 00:31:33,449
>> THANK YOU.

991
00:31:33,449 --> 00:31:36,285
>> YOU KNOW, LARRY DOESN'T THING

992
00:31:36,285 --> 00:31:37,219
COFFEE IS A LUXURY.

993
00:31:37,219 --> 00:31:39,155
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO PAY $4 EVERY

994
00:31:39,155 --> 00:31:41,590
DAY TO COFFEE AND THINKING, WOW,

995
00:31:41,590 --> 00:31:43,793
IT ADDS UP, IT'S A LUXURY.

996
00:31:43,793 --> 00:31:45,227
LARRY IS PUMPING IT OUT OF THE

997
00:31:45,227 --> 00:31:45,560
POT.

998
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:45,995
YOU KNOW ‐‐

999
00:31:45,995 --> 00:31:47,897
>> YEAH, YEAH.

1000
00:31:47,897 --> 00:31:50,499
>> GRINDS ARE IN IT, YEAH.

1001
00:31:50,499 --> 00:31:50,833
YEAH.

1002
00:31:50,833 --> 00:31:53,135
>> YOU ARE FROM CHICAGO, YOU

1003
00:31:53,135 --> 00:31:54,470
GREW UP CHICAGO, RIGHT?

1004
00:31:54,470 --> 00:31:55,237
>> I DID.

1005
00:31:55,237 --> 00:31:56,839
>> CHICAGO BULLS FAN.

1006
00:31:56,839 --> 00:31:57,940
>> HUGE BULLS FAN.

1007
00:31:57,940 --> 00:32:03,379
>> YOU WORKED NOR ED FOR THE BU

1008
00:32:03,379 --> 00:32:04,046
KIND OF?

1009
00:32:04,046 --> 00:32:07,616
>> I DID, GREW UP AS A HUGE

1010
00:32:07,616 --> 00:32:08,584
BULLS FAN AND I WAS IN THE

1011
00:32:08,584 --> 00:32:11,787
BUILDING FOR A LOT OF GAMES WHEN

1012
00:32:11,787 --> 00:32:14,023
JORDAN AND PIPPIN AND THE TEAM

1013
00:32:14,023 --> 00:32:16,759
WAS PLAYING.

1014
00:32:16,759 --> 00:32:21,464
MY HIGH SCHOOL HAD A SIGN UP FOR

1015
00:32:21,464 --> 00:32:22,098
BEING AN USHER AND I COULD NOT

1016
00:32:22,098 --> 00:32:24,266
GET A TICKET, AND I SIGNED UP

1017
00:32:24,266 --> 00:32:24,867
FOR IT.

1018
00:32:24,867 --> 00:32:26,402
>> IT WAS A JOB THEY DIDN'T PAY

1019
00:32:26,402 --> 00:32:27,169
YOU FOR?

1020
00:32:27,169 --> 00:32:29,005
>> YEAH, BEST UNPAID JOB EVER.

1021
00:32:29,005 --> 00:32:30,806
I GOT A BLAZER AND THEY BAN

1022
00:32:30,806 --> 00:32:33,642
ISSUED ME TO THE 300 LEVEL.

1023
00:32:33,642 --> 00:32:35,478
YOU HAD TO BE STRICT AND SHOW

1024
00:32:35,478 --> 00:32:36,312
PEOPLE THE SEATS.

1025
00:32:36,312 --> 00:32:37,680
I DIDN'T DO ANY OF THAT.

1026
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:42,818
AS SOON AS THE LIGHTS WERE UP,

1027
00:32:42,818 --> 00:32:43,419
JORDAN WAS ON THE COURT, I'M

1028
00:32:43,419 --> 00:32:45,855
LOSING MY MIND AND SCREAMING,

1029
00:32:45,855 --> 00:32:47,623
EVERYONE IS SITTING ANYWHERE

1030
00:32:47,623 --> 00:32:49,392
THEY WANT IN MY SECTION.

1031
00:32:49,392 --> 00:32:50,426
I WAS A BAD USHER.

1032
00:32:50,426 --> 00:32:52,228
>> YOU GOT TO SEE THE GAMES, DID

1033
00:32:52,228 --> 00:32:53,696
YOU MEET THE PLAYERS?

1034
00:32:53,696 --> 00:32:56,198
>> NO, I WAS SO FAR AWAY.

1035
00:32:56,198 --> 00:32:58,434
I DIDN'T GET TO MEET THE

1036
00:32:58,434 --> 00:32:58,799
PLAYERS.

1037
00:32:58,799 --> 00:33:02,238
ONE OF MY FAVORITE MEMORIES IS

1038
00:33:02,238 --> 00:33:03,839
THEY HAD A TOWEL GIVE AWAY WE

1039
00:33:03,839 --> 00:33:07,643
WERE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH THEM,

1040
00:33:07,643 --> 00:33:09,478
THEY WERE JUST FOR THE FANS.

1041
00:33:09,478 --> 00:33:11,514
I REMEMBER, I'M YOU KNOW, AT MY

1042
00:33:11,514 --> 00:33:12,081
STATION.

1043
00:33:12,081 --> 00:33:13,315
TRYING TO BE PROFESSIONAL AND I

1044
00:33:13,315 --> 00:33:16,719
NOTICE A DRUNK FAN DROPPED THIS

1045
00:33:16,719 --> 00:33:18,721
TOWEL IN TO THE PUDDLE OF BEER,

1046
00:33:18,721 --> 00:33:21,057
I'M LIKE, THIS IS MY MOMENT

1047
00:33:21,057 --> 00:33:21,390
RIGHT HERE.

1048
00:33:21,390 --> 00:33:21,891
I WANT TO REMEMBER THIS.

1049
00:33:21,891 --> 00:33:24,660
I GET ON THE GROUND, I'M IN A

1050
00:33:24,660 --> 00:33:25,561
GRAY BLAZERS.

1051
00:33:25,561 --> 00:33:28,464
I'M CRAWLING THROUGH FANS AND

1052
00:33:28,464 --> 00:33:29,465
GET THE TOWEL AND SQUEEZE THE

1053
00:33:29,465 --> 00:33:31,233
BEER OUT AND SHOVE IT IN MY

1054
00:33:31,233 --> 00:33:31,566
BLAZER.

1055
00:33:31,566 --> 00:33:33,202
I WAS NOT A GOOD USHER.

1056
00:33:33,202 --> 00:33:35,871
I THINK MY BOSS NOTICED AND WAS

1057
00:33:35,871 --> 00:33:37,473
LIKE, THEY COULD NOT FIRE ME

1058
00:33:37,473 --> 00:33:38,741
BECAUSE I WAS WORKING FOR FREE.

1059
00:33:38,741 --> 00:33:40,009
>> YEAH, RIGHT.

1060
00:33:40,009 --> 00:33:41,410
>> BUT THEY STRONGLY ENCOURAGED

1061
00:33:41,410 --> 00:33:43,379
ME TO NOT COME BACK.

1062
00:33:43,379 --> 00:33:43,779
SO ‐‐

1063
00:33:43,779 --> 00:33:45,047
>> DID THEY REALLY?

1064
00:33:45,047 --> 00:33:46,248
WHAT A SCAM THEY ARE RUNNING.

1065
00:33:46,248 --> 00:33:48,217
THE PLAYERS ARE BEING PAID 10s

1066
00:33:48,217 --> 00:33:49,919
OF MILLIONS DOLLARS AND YOU HAVE

1067
00:33:49,919 --> 00:33:51,253
HIGH SCHOOL KIDS SUPPOSE TO BE

1068
00:33:51,253 --> 00:33:53,189
CONTROLLING THE CROWD.

1069
00:33:53,189 --> 00:33:53,989
>> YEAH.

1070
00:33:53,989 --> 00:33:54,890
BUT I GOT THE TOWEL.

1071
00:33:54,890 --> 00:33:56,225
>> YOU STILL HAVE THE TOWEL?

1072
00:33:56,225 --> 00:33:58,294
>> STILL HAVE IT, I HAND WASHED

1073
00:33:58,294 --> 00:33:58,627
IT.

1074
00:33:58,627 --> 00:34:00,096
THERE'S STILL A BIT OF A BEER

1075
00:34:00,096 --> 00:34:01,497
STAIN ON IT AND I FRAMED IT AND

1076
00:34:01,497 --> 00:34:02,264
IT'S A GOOD MEMORY.

1077
00:34:02,264 --> 00:34:04,166
>> YOU HAVE TWINS, RIGHT?

1078
00:34:04,166 --> 00:34:05,701
>> I HAVE 9‐YEAR‐OLD TWINS, THEY

1079
00:34:05,701 --> 00:34:06,535
ARE AWESOME.

1080
00:34:06,535 --> 00:34:07,703
>> 9 YEARS OLD.

1081
00:34:07,703 --> 00:34:09,338
LIKE DO THEY WATCH ANY OF YOUR

1082
00:34:09,338 --> 00:34:10,106
STUFF AT ALL?

1083
00:34:10,106 --> 00:34:12,708
>> YEAH, SO WE STARTED TO LET

1084
00:34:12,708 --> 00:34:15,311
THEM WATCH SOME THINGS.

1085
00:34:15,311 --> 00:34:18,347
OVER QUARANTINE.

1086
00:34:18,347 --> 00:34:21,050
WE DECIDED TO LET THEM WATCH

1087
00:34:21,050 --> 00:34:23,085
"COMMUNITY," QUESTIONABLE MOVE.

1088
00:34:23,085 --> 00:34:24,553
THANK YOU.

1089
00:34:24,553 --> 00:34:26,522
>> DID YOU MAKE SURE BEFORE THEY

1090
00:34:26,522 --> 00:34:28,090
SAW IT THAT IT WAS APPROPRIATE

1091
00:34:28,090 --> 00:34:31,093
FOR 9?

1092
00:34:31,093 --> 00:34:32,161
>> NO.

1093
00:34:32,161 --> 00:34:32,526
NO.

1094
00:34:32,526 --> 00:34:32,962
>> NO.

1095
00:34:32,962 --> 00:34:33,896
>> I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE.

1096
00:34:33,896 --> 00:34:36,432
FROM MY IN MEMORY, I THOUGHT IT

1097
00:34:36,432 --> 00:34:37,800
WAS MORE APPROPRIATE THAN IT WAS

1098
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:39,235
AND SO WE WERE SHOWING THEM SOME

1099
00:34:39,235 --> 00:34:39,568
EPISODES.

1100
00:34:39,568 --> 00:34:41,203
ONE OF THE EPISODES WE SHOWED

1101
00:34:41,203 --> 00:34:43,606
THEM WAS THE EPISODE WHERE THE

1102
00:34:43,606 --> 00:34:49,845
CHARACTER I PLAY, TAKES A CLASS

1103
00:34:49,845 --> 00:34:51,747
CALLED NICOLAS CAGE, GOOD OR

1104
00:34:51,747 --> 00:34:52,114
BAD.

1105
00:34:52,114 --> 00:34:54,216
VERY NORMAL THING.

1106
00:34:54,216 --> 00:34:56,252
AND DURING THE EPISODE, MY

1107
00:34:56,252 --> 00:35:03,325
CHARACTER IS OBSESSED WITH CAGE

1108
00:35:03,325 --> 00:35:03,859
MOVIE

1109
00:35:03,859 --> 00:35:05,327
MOVIES AND SO MY KIDS ARE LIKING

1110
00:35:05,327 --> 00:35:06,495
IT AND I THINK IT'S HARMLESS AND

1111
00:35:06,495 --> 00:35:07,129
IT'S OKAY.

1112
00:35:07,129 --> 00:35:09,298
CUT TO A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER,

1113
00:35:09,298 --> 00:35:11,867
WE ARE IN A STORE, THE KIDS ARE

1114
00:35:11,867 --> 00:35:13,035
RUNNING THROUGH THE AISLES

1115
00:35:13,035 --> 00:35:15,137
SLIGHTLY AHEAD OF ME AND I'M

1116
00:35:15,137 --> 00:35:17,640
OBSERVING MY SON AND HE IS

1117
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:21,143
STARTING TO PROWL A LITTLE BIT

1118
00:35:21,143 --> 00:35:22,311
AND HE IS HISSING AND I'M

1119
00:35:22,311 --> 00:35:24,213
WATCHING HIM AND I SEE HIM TURN

1120
00:35:24,213 --> 00:35:29,251
AROUND AND GO, DAD, I'M A SEXY

1121
00:35:29,251 --> 00:35:29,616
CAT.

1122
00:35:29,616 --> 00:35:31,654
SO WE STOPPED WATCHING

1123
00:35:31,654 --> 00:35:32,655
"COMMUNITY" AFTER THAT.

1124
00:35:32,655 --> 00:35:34,523
>> SURE, HAVE THEY SEEN THIS?

1125
00:35:34,523 --> 00:35:37,293
DID THEY SEE YOU IN THAT OUTFIT?

1126
00:35:37,293 --> 00:35:39,562
>> THEY DID.

1127
00:35:39,562 --> 00:35:43,699
>> THAT IS FROM MYTHIC QUEST,

1128
00:35:43,699 --> 00:35:48,504
YOU TURNED IN TO A DIMEEMON.

1129
00:35:48,504 --> 00:35:49,271
DID YOU SCARE THEM?

1130
00:35:49,271 --> 00:35:52,208
>> I THOUGHT I WOULD, AND I WAS

1131
00:35:52,208 --> 00:35:53,175
A LITTLE EXCITED ABOUT IT.

1132
00:35:53,175 --> 00:35:54,443
IT'S A STAND ALONE EPISODE WHERE

1133
00:35:54,443 --> 00:35:56,045
OUR WORLD IS TRANSFORMED AND

1134
00:35:56,045 --> 00:35:57,780
IT'S ABOUT GOING BACK TO WORK

1135
00:35:57,780 --> 00:36:00,616
AND WE THROW THIS BIG LARP PARTY

1136
00:36:00,616 --> 00:36:02,351
TO GET EVERYONE BACK TO WORK AND

1137
00:36:02,351 --> 00:36:04,019
MY CHARACTER WHO IS THE VILLAIN

1138
00:36:04,019 --> 00:36:05,754
OF THE OFFICE LITERALLY

1139
00:36:05,754 --> 00:36:06,989
TRANSFORMS IN TO THE LORD OF

1140
00:36:06,989 --> 00:36:10,826
DARKNESS AND THE EPISODE SHIFTS

1141
00:36:10,826 --> 00:36:13,329
IN TO DRAMA AND I THOUGHT IT WAS

1142
00:36:13,329 --> 00:36:17,766
GOING TO TERRIFY THEM.

1143
00:36:17,766 --> 00:36:20,569
BUT COULD BE A GOOD EPISODE TO

1144
00:36:20,569 --> 00:36:21,136
SHOW THEM.

1145
00:36:21,136 --> 00:36:22,471
THEY ARE NOT LAUGHING AT ALL.

1146
00:36:22,471 --> 00:36:24,506
AND I AM WONDERING IF I SHOULD

1147
00:36:24,506 --> 00:36:26,976
TAP OUT OR PAUSE IT BUT THEY ARE

1148
00:36:26,976 --> 00:36:28,577
LEANING IN TO IT AND EVENTUALLY

1149
00:36:28,577 --> 00:36:29,845
MY CHARACTER TRANSFORMS FROM

1150
00:36:29,845 --> 00:36:31,780
BRAD IN TO A DARKNESS DEMON AND

1151
00:36:31,780 --> 00:36:33,515
MY HORNS ARE COMING OUT AND I

1152
00:36:33,515 --> 00:36:35,651
HAVE TEETH AND MY EYES TURN

1153
00:36:35,651 --> 00:36:36,885
BLACKING AND MY DAUGHTER STARTS

1154
00:36:36,885 --> 00:36:39,555
CRACKING UP AND I'M LIKE, WHAT

1155
00:36:39,555 --> 00:36:40,923
IS GOING ON.

1156
00:36:40,923 --> 00:36:49,498
SHE GOES, YOU ARE A HILA AR AHI

1157
00:36:49,498 --> 00:36:53,469
VILLAIN, AND I'M LIKE, YOU ARE

1158
00:36:53,469 --> 00:36:56,605
SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME.

1159
00:36:56,605 --> 00:36:57,806
AND SHE IS NOT SCARED OF ME.

1160
00:36:57,806 --> 00:37:00,709
>> THE HO IS CALLED MYTHIC

1161
00:37:00,709 --> 00:37:03,012
QUEST, NEW EPISODES FRIDAY ON

1162
00:37:03,012 --> 00:37:03,879
APPLE TV PLUS.

1163
00:37:03,879 --> 00:37:05,781
DANNY PUDI, EVERYONE.

1164
00:37:05,781 --> 00:37:08,284
WE WILL BE BACK WITH THE BAND,

1165
00:37:08,284 --> 00:37:09,084
CAMINO.

1166
00:37:13,055 --> 00:37:13,822
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK

1167
00:37:13,822 --> 00:37:14,723
ELIZABETH BANKS AND DANNY PUDI.

1168
00:37:14,723 --> 00:37:16,325
APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.

1169
00:37:16,325 --> 00:37:16,959
TOMORROW NIGHT, LENA WAITHE AND

1170
00:37:16,959 --> 00:37:17,559
KELVIN HARRISON JR., WITH MUSIC

1171
00:37:17,559 --> 00:37:20,129
FROM ALLISON RUSSELL,

1172
00:37:20,129 --> 00:37:22,531
BRITTNEY SPENCER AND

1173
00:37:22,531 --> 00:37:23,032
BRANDI CARLILE.

1174
00:37:23,032 --> 00:37:23,666
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT BUT FIRST,

1175
00:37:23,666 --> 00:37:24,300
YOU CAN SEE THESE GUYS ON TOUR

1176
00:37:24,300 --> 00:37:25,267
WITH DAN AND SHAY STARTING

1177
00:37:25,267 --> 00:37:26,869
SEPTEMBER 9th IN GREENVILLE,

1178
00:37:26,869 --> 00:37:28,504
SOUTH CAROLINA.

1179
00:37:28,504 --> 00:37:30,506
WITH THE SONG "1 LAST CIGARETTE"

1180
00:37:30,506 --> 00:37:34,310
FROM THEIR FORTHCOMING ALBUM,

1181
00:37:34,310 --> 00:37:39,882
THE BAND CAMINO!

1182
00:37:39,882 --> 00:37:40,783
♪ I CAN'T I CAN'T

1183
00:37:40,783 --> 00:37:42,117
I CAN'T STAND THE MAN

1184
00:37:42,117 --> 00:37:43,152
I'M SEEING IN THE MIRROR

1185
00:37:43,152 --> 00:37:46,288
I TRY I TRY TO ♪

1186
00:37:46,288 --> 00:37:46,722
♪ GET MY MIND RIGHT

1187
00:37:46,722 --> 00:37:48,257
BUT IT NEVER

1188
00:37:48,257 --> 00:37:49,291
GETS MUCH CLEARER

1189
00:37:49,291 --> 00:37:49,925
MAYBE I SHOULD ♪

1190
00:37:49,925 --> 00:37:54,697
♪ SEE SOMEBODY

1191
00:37:54,697 --> 00:38:03,672
'CAUSE I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP

1192
00:38:03,672 --> 00:38:04,373
EVERYTHING INSIDE MY BODY

1193
00:38:04,373 --> 00:38:08,610
IS TELLING ME TO STOP ♪

1194
00:38:08,610 --> 00:38:10,379
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS

1195
00:38:10,379 --> 00:38:12,181
THEY LEFT ME FOR DEAD AND

1196
00:38:12,181 --> 00:38:15,250
I DON'T HAVE A

1197
00:38:15,250 --> 00:38:15,684
CLUE WHERE I AM I ♪

1198
00:38:15,684 --> 00:38:16,752
♪ LOST MY KEYS NOW

1199
00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:18,220
ALL I GOT LEFT IS

1200
00:38:18,220 --> 00:38:19,555
TEN MISSED CALLS

1201
00:38:19,555 --> 00:38:21,390
AND ONE LAST CIGARETTE ♪

1202
00:38:21,390 --> 00:38:23,559
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS

1203
00:38:23,559 --> 00:38:25,627
THEY HATE ME AGAIN I

1204
00:38:25,627 --> 00:38:27,629
GET TOO DRUNK WHEN

1205
00:38:27,629 --> 00:38:30,532
I GET DEPRESSED I ♪

1206
00:38:30,532 --> 00:38:30,933
♪ LOST MY NOW ALL

1207
00:38:30,933 --> 00:38:33,936
I GOT LEFT IS

1208
00:38:33,936 --> 00:38:34,370
TEN MISSED CALLS AND

1209
00:38:34,370 --> 00:38:35,637
ONE LAST CIGARETTE ♪

1210
00:38:35,637 --> 00:38:36,772
♪ I CAN'T I CAN'T

1211
00:38:36,772 --> 00:38:38,774
CAN'T PAY THE RENT

1212
00:38:38,774 --> 00:38:43,112
'CAUSE I WASTED ALL MONEY

1213
00:38:43,112 --> 00:38:43,445
I TRY I TRY ♪

1214
00:38:43,445 --> 00:38:46,315
♪ I TRY TO LAUGH OFF MY LIFE

1215
00:38:46,315 --> 00:38:46,648
BUT LATELY

1216
00:38:46,648 --> 00:38:51,620
IT'S NOT FUNNY

1217
00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:52,020
MAYBE I SHOULD ♪

1218
00:38:52,020 --> 00:38:53,122
♪ SEE SOMEBODY

1219
00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:55,124
'CAUSE I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP

1220
00:38:55,124 --> 00:38:58,060
EVERYTHING INSIDE MY BODY

1221
00:38:58,060 --> 00:39:01,563
IS TELLING ME TO STOP ♪

1222
00:39:01,563 --> 00:39:03,265
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS

1223
00:39:03,265 --> 00:39:05,401
THEY LEFT ME FOR DEAD AND

1224
00:39:05,401 --> 00:39:09,805
I DON'T HAVE A

1225
00:39:09,805 --> 00:39:10,239
CLUE WHERE I AM I ♪

1226
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:11,440
♪ LOST MY KEYS NOW

1227
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:13,208
ALL I GOT LEFT IS

1228
00:39:13,208 --> 00:39:15,177
TEN MISSED CALLS AND

1229
00:39:15,177 --> 00:39:18,447
ONE LAST CIGARETTE ♪

1230
00:39:18,447 --> 00:39:19,615
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS

1231
00:39:19,615 --> 00:39:22,284
THEY HATE ME AGAIN I

1232
00:39:22,284 --> 00:39:22,684
GET TOO DRUNK WHEN

1233
00:39:22,684 --> 00:39:25,554
I GET DEPRESSED I ♪

1234
00:39:25,554 --> 00:39:26,922
♪ LOST MY NOW ALL

1235
00:39:26,922 --> 00:39:27,256
I GOT LEFT IS

1236
00:39:27,256 --> 00:39:44,640
TEN MISSED CALLS AND

1237
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:45,707
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS

1238
00:39:45,707 --> 00:39:47,309
THEY LEFT ME FOR DEAD AND

1239
00:39:47,309 --> 00:39:49,077
I DON'T HAVE A

1240
00:39:49,077 --> 00:39:51,580
CLUE WHERE I AM I ♪

1241
00:39:51,580 --> 00:39:53,015
♪ LOST MY KEYS NOW

1242
00:39:53,015 --> 00:39:55,584
ALL I GOT LEFT IS

1243
00:39:55,584 --> 00:39:58,220
TEN MISSED CALLS AND

1244
00:39:58,220 --> 00:40:01,457
ONE LAST CIGARETTE ♪

1245
00:40:01,457 --> 00:40:01,857
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS

1246
00:40:01,857 --> 00:40:04,726
THEY HATE ME AGAIN I

1247
00:40:04,726 --> 00:40:06,528
GET TOO DRUNK WHEN

1248
00:40:06,528 --> 00:40:10,132
I GET DEPRESSED I ♪

1249
00:40:10,132 --> 00:40:10,532
♪ LOST MY NOW ALL

1250
00:40:10,532 --> 00:40:11,333
I GOT LEFT IS

1251
00:40:11,333 --> 00:40:15,604
TEN MISSED CALLS

1252
00:40:15,604 --> 00:40:20,843
AND ONE LAST CIGARETTE ♪

1253
00:40:20,843 --> 00:40:21,243
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS

1254
00:40:21,243 --> 00:40:24,546
LOST MY NOW ALL

1255
00:40:24,546 --> 00:40:24,947
I GOT LEFT IS

1256
00:40:24,947 --> 00:40:26,682
TEN MISSED CALLS ♪

1257
00:40:26,682 --> 00:40:27,216
♪ AND ONE LAST CIGARETTE

1258
00:40:27,216 --> 00:40:28,283
MAYBE I SHOULD SEE SOMEBODY

1259
00:40:28,283 --> 00:40:29,785
'CAUSE I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP

1260
00:40:29,785 --> 00:40:31,587
EVERYTHING INSIDE ♪

1261
00:40:31,587 --> 00:40:34,256
♪ MY BODY

1262
00:40:34,256 --> 00:40:38,694
IS TELLING ME TO STOP ♪

1263
00:40:46,235 --> 00:40:51,507
♪