1 00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:04,003 >> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"! 2 00:00:04,071 --> 00:00:05,671 TONIGHT, RYAN SEACREST, YVONNE ORJI, 3 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:09,542 AND MUSIC FROM COUNTING CROWS. AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 4 00:00:09,544 --> 00:00:14,013 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> HI, EVERYBODY. 5 00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:15,414 I'M JIMMY. I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. 6 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:28,627 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. THINGS ARE SLOWLY GETTING BACK 7 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:34,299 TO NORMAL. OUR BOND THEICALLY TONES ARE 8 00:00:34,369 --> 00:00:36,769 BACK IN STUDIO. YOU'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME. 9 00:00:36,771 --> 00:00:43,643 >> I'VE BEEN HERE, YEAH. BECAUSE OF COVID WE HAVE NO 10 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:47,179 STUDIO AUDIENCE THE PEOPLE YOU HEAR PRETENDING TO LAUGH IS OUR 11 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:48,781 STAFF HERE AT THE SHOW. BUT TONIGHT, LAST WEEK WE HAD 12 00:00:48,783 --> 00:00:50,849 ONE PERSON IN OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE, TONIGHT WE HAVE TWO. 13 00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:51,850 WE'RE TAKING IT SLOW. IT'S COUPLES' NIGHT. 14 00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:55,054 SAY HELLO TO OUR AUDIENCE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 15 00:00:55,122 --> 00:01:00,726 THERE THEY ARE. ALL RIGHT. 16 00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:02,995 THANK YOU AND WELCOME. WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES? 17 00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:04,997 >> MY NAME IS CHELSEA. >> Jimmy: CHELSEA. 18 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:09,135 >> MY NAME IS CALEB. >> Jimmy: HOW ADORABLE, CHELSEA 19 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,602 AND CALEB. CHELSEA, YOU ARE WITH CHILD? 20 00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:11,737 >> I AM, YES. >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS. 21 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:19,412 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] HAVE YOU SEEN THE SHOW BEFORE? 22 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,813 >> WE WATCH ALL THE TIME, THIS IS OUR FIRST TIME HERE. 23 00:01:21,883 --> 00:01:24,283 >> Jimmy: IS IT POSSIBLE THEN THE CHILD WAS CONCEIVED WHILE 24 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,551 YOU WERE WATCHING THE SHOW? [ LAUGHTER ] 25 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:31,557 >> I GUESS IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE. >> Jimmy: BUT UNLIKELY? 26 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:34,159 >> UNLIKELY. >> YEAH, PROBABLY. 27 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:35,895 >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK? 28 00:01:35,897 --> 00:01:37,964 >> I'M A HIGH SCHOOL SPANISH TEACHER. 29 00:01:38,032 --> 00:01:40,232 >> Jimmy: OH, BUENO. [ APPLAUSE ] 30 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:44,169 HOW ABOUT YOU? >> I'M AN ARCHITECT FOR WALT 31 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:52,778 DISNEY MAN FA IMAGINARIUM. >> Jimmy: MY FAVORITE, I WAS IN 32 00:01:52,847 --> 00:01:56,315 THE SPANISH HONORS SOCIETY IN HIGH SCHOOL, THOUGH I REMEMBER 33 00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:57,850 ALMOST NONE OF IT. MY FAVORITE THING TO SAY, I'D 34 00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:02,855 SAY THIS ALL THE TIME RANDOMLY IN CLASS, WAS -- 35 00:02:02,857 --> 00:02:06,859 [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] ALWAYS MADE OUR SPANISH TEACHER 36 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,126 LAUGH. >> WHENEVER I TEACH MY STUDENTS 37 00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:12,064 THAT, THEY LOVE THAT PHRASE, THEY THINK IT'S HILARIOUS. 38 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,066 >> DESCRIBES MY WHOLE STUDY AROAD EXPERIENCE. 39 00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:16,201 I JUST SAID THAT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. 40 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,670 >> Jimmy: PEOPLE LAUGH, RIGHT? >> YEP. 41 00:02:17,672 --> 00:02:21,606 >> NOT ALWAYS. >> Jimmy: OH, OKAY. 42 00:02:21,676 --> 00:02:27,212 AS AN IMAGINEER, WERE YOU PART OF BUILDING THE ANIMATRONIC 43 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:28,680 DONALD TRUMP IN THE HALL OF PRESIDENTS? 44 00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,683 >> HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. >> Jimmy: I WATCHED THAT TODAY 45 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,684 ON YOUTUBE. THAT'S SOMETHING TO SEE, BY THE 46 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:36,889 WAY. GUILLERMO CALLED ME "PENDEJO." 47 00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:41,427 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE." THAT MEANS "BRAVE LEADER," 48 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:46,899 RIGHT, ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU SAID? >> Guillermo: YES, YES, EXACTLY. 49 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,034 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] 50 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:51,437 WELCOME, ENJOY THE SHOW. IF YOU GET UP TO GO TO THE 51 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,773 BATHROOM, I'VE LOST HALF MY AUDIENCE, HOLD IT IN. 52 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:58,243 >> I WILL. >> Jimmy: DO YOU WATCH THE 53 00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,845 BACHELOR BACHELORETTE? 54 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,313 >> NOT TYPICALLY. MY BEST FRIEND IS SUPER INTO IT. 55 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:05,117 >> Jimmy: DON'T BE ASHAMED THAT YOU DON'T WATCH "THE 56 00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:06,852 BACHELORETTE." [ LAUGHTER ] 57 00:03:06,921 --> 00:03:09,522 EMBRACE IT. THEY HAVE VERSIONS OF IT ALL 58 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,190 OVER THE WORLD, ESPECIALLY POPULAR IN AUSTRALIA, WHERE THEY 59 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:15,995 JUST ANNOUNCED THE FIRST OPENLY BISEXUAL BACHELORETTE. 60 00:03:15,997 --> 00:03:19,465 THE CONTESTANTS FOR HER HAND WILL BE MEN AND WOMEN. 61 00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:22,001 HER NAME'S BROOKE. BROOKE SAID, MY PERFECT PERSON 62 00:03:22,003 --> 00:03:27,206 IS SOMEONE THAT LOVES ME FOR ME, I HOPE THEY OFFER SHARED VALUES 63 00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:28,807 AND COMPASSION FOR OTHERS. SO SHE'S DEFINITELY PICKING A 64 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,676 WOMAN. [ LAUGHTER ] 65 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:35,413 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] IT'S A LITTLE BIT HARDER TO 66 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:39,151 BELIEVE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND LOVE THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY, 67 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,153 WHEN YOUR DATING POOL IS EVERYBODY. 68 00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:43,622 [ LAUGHTER ] BUT WHO AM I TO QUESTION THE 69 00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:46,692 SANCTITY OF THE BACHELORETTE? A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE TREATING 70 00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:49,295 THIS LIKE IT'S SOME EQUAL RIGHTS TRIUMPH. 71 00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:51,030 THIS ISN'T EXACTLY JACKIE ROBINSON. 72 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:56,569 I WANT TO REMIND EVERYONE, IT'S AHOT TUB ORGY GAME SHOW, OKAY? 73 00:03:56,571 --> 00:03:58,637 [ LAUGHTER ] I DO HAVE TO SAY, I'M SO MAD THE 74 00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:01,574 AUSTRALIANS BEAT US TO THIS. WE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF 75 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,642 OURSELVES. WHAT HAPPENED TO AMERICAN 76 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,778 INNOVATION? WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR INGENUITY? 77 00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:08,180 [ LAUGHTER ] I HOPE YOUR CHILD CAN FIX THIS 78 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,916 FOR US AND LEAD US IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. 79 00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:13,118 THIS IS SOMETHING. THE SPACE TRAVEL COMPANY OWNED 80 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,855 BY JEFF BEZOS, BLUE ORIGIN, I MENTIONED THIS A COUPLE OF WEEKS 81 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:20,459 AGO, THEY'RE AUCTIONING OFF A SEAT FOR THEIR UPCOMING TRIP TO 82 00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:21,527 SPACE. THE HIGHEST BIDDER WILL GET 83 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:26,131 LAUNCHED INTO ORBIT. THE HIGHESTED BY RIGHT NOW, $2.8 84 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,867 MILLION FOR ONE SEAT ON AN 11-MINUTE FLIGHT. 85 00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:31,537 BUT IT'S NOT JUST A SEAT ON THE FLIGHT. 86 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:35,407 THEIR SITE, YOU CAN SEE IT SAYS "UPON GENTLE LANDING YOU'LL BE 87 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:38,410 PICKED UP IN A TRUCK." [ LAUGHTER ] 88 00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:41,346 $3 MILLION, YOU STILL HAVE TO RIDE HOME IN THE BACK OF A 89 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:42,548 TOYOTA TACOMA. [ LAUGHTER ] 90 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:46,552 THE COMPANY HASN'T REVEALED THE IDENTITY OF THE LEADING BIDDER. 91 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,953 BUT IT SHOULDN'T BE HARD TO NARROW IT DOWN. 92 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,957 WHO HAS THAT -- LET'S SEE. WHO HAS $2.8 MILLION AND MIGHT 93 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:54,827 NEED TO GET OFF THE PLANET FAST? OH, YEAH, THAT GUY. 94 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:59,031 [ LAUGHTER ] WE'LL FINALLY GET TO MEET ALL 95 00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:02,834 THE ILLEGAL ALIENS HE'S BEEN SCREAMING ABOUT. 96 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,503 [ APPLAUSE ] IT'S BEEN A TOUGH WEEK FOR OUR 97 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:05,638 FORMER PRESIDENT. HIS FORMER LAWYER AND RIGHT-HAND 98 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:09,775 MAN, MICHAEL COHEN, THE GUY WHO MORTGAGED HIS OWN HOUSE TO PAY 99 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:13,245 STORMY DANIELS, ONLY TO BE CAST ASIDE BY MR. WONDERFUL, MICHAEL 100 00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:17,449 COHEN, WHO KNOWS DONALD TRUMP A& WELL AS ANYONE, BELIEVES THAT IN 101 00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:20,986 THE END THE SNAKE WILL DEVOUR HIS OWN EGGS. 102 00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:22,654 >> WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY FURNISH 103 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:25,524 AROUND AND THEY START ASKING HIM ABOUT HIS TAX RETURNS? 104 00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:33,065 OR ABOUT THE DEVALUATION OF THE ASSETS OR THE WAY THAT HE TOOK 105 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,601 DEDUCTIONS? "I DON'T DO MY TAXES, IT'S MY 106 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,736 ACCOUNTANT." HE'S GOING TO TURN ON HIS 107 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:41,073 ACCOUNTANT, HE'S GOING TO SAY DON JR. HANDLED THAT, IVANKA 108 00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:47,545 HANDLED THAT, MELANIA, DON'T TAKE ME, TAKE MELANIA! 109 00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:49,214 TAKE EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR HIMSELF. 110 00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:50,149 >> Jimmy: ALMOST LIKE HE'S SPEAKING FROM PERSONAL 111 00:05:50,151 --> 00:05:51,283 EXPERIENCE, HUH? [ LAUGHTER ] 112 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:57,689 THE SADDEST PART IS GOING TO BE WHEN TRUMP FORGETS TO PIN A 113 00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,091 CRIME ON TIFFANY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 114 00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:04,029 >> Jimmy: THANKS, GUYS. THE NEW, NEW THING IN WASHINGTON 115 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:08,567 NOW THAT'S DIVIDING CONGRESS IS THE MASK MANDATE. 116 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:09,835 HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES. DEMOCRATS WANT IT, SO 117 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:13,772 REPUBLICANS NATURALLY DON'T. DEMOCRATS IN THE HOUSE YESTERDAY 118 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,842 BLOCKED A REPUBLICAN-LED RESOLUTION THAT WOULD HAVE 119 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,310 ALLOWED THEM TO NOT WEAR MASKS TO WORK. 120 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:22,047 IT TOOK AWHILE, BUT WE FINALLY FOUND THE ONE THING HOUSE 121 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:22,981 REPUBLICANS AREN'T WILLING TO COVER UP. 122 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:26,318 THEIR FACES. [ LAUGHTER ] 123 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,587 AND THE MAIN REASON THESE MASKS ARE STILL NEEDED -- THE ONLY 124 00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:30,589 REASON THEY NEED THEM ON THE FLOOR OF THE HOUSE IS BECAUSE 125 00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:32,925 LESS THAN HALF OF HOUSE REPUBLICANS ARE VACCINATED. 126 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:36,194 THEY DON'T WANT TO GET VACCINATED, AND THEY DON'T WANT 127 00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:38,597 TO WEAR A MASK. IT FEELS LIKE THE END OF AN 128 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:42,467 EPISODE OF "THE TWILIGHT ZONE." WE FINALLY FIND THE CURE FOR THE 129 00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:45,404 DISEASE EVERYONE HAS BUT THEY'RE TOO DUMB TO TAKE IT. 130 00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:46,538 [ LAUGHTER ] A LOT OF REPUBLICANS ARE 131 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:49,541 FLOUTING THE RULES NOW. INCLUDING KLAN WOMAN, MARJORIE 132 00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:53,612 TAYLOR GREENE, WHO PUT ON QUITE A SHOW IN FRONT OF HER PAPER 133 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,080 SHREDDER. >> YOU CAN'T DISCRIMINATE 134 00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:59,017 AGAINST PEOPLE SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY WON'T WEAR A MASK. 135 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:03,155 AND TODAY I REFUSED TO WEAR A MASK ON THE HOUSE FLOOR AND I 136 00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:05,891 RECEIVED A WARNING FROM SPEAKER PELOSI THAT LEADS TO FINES IF I 137 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:08,293 CONTINUE TO REFUSE TO WEAR A MASK. 138 00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:18,236 WELL, HERE'S WHAT I THINK OF YOUR WARNING SPEAKER PELOSI. 139 00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:22,374 >> Jimmy: SO COOL, RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] 140 00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:25,977 OF ALL THE PROBLEMS WE HAVE IN THIS COUNTRY. 141 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,713 THAT'S WHAT THIS IMBECILE IS FOCUSED ON. 142 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:31,784 MAYBE SHE CAN PUT HER BRAIN IN THAT SHREDDER NEXT. 143 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,519 [ APPLAUSE ] THE CDC LAST WEEK ANNOUNCED THAT 144 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:36,988 WITH A FEW EXCEPTIONS, VACCINATED AMERICANS DON'T NEED 145 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:40,392 TO WEAR MASKS INDOORS. AND SINCE THEY DID THAT, THERE'S 146 00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:45,597 BEEN A SHARP INCREASE IN GOOGLE SEARCHES FOR FAKE VACCINATION 147 00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:46,865 CARDS. SEARCHES FOR FAKE COVID VACCINE 148 00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:51,069 CARDS ARE UP MORE THAN 1,100%. AND YOU CAN BUY THEM. 149 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:54,205 WHICH IS SO GROSS. LET'S START CALLING THESE 150 00:07:54,275 --> 00:07:56,608 "VACCINE AVOIDERS" WHAT THEY ARE, FREELOADERS. 151 00:07:56,677 --> 00:08:01,280 THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE SOMEWHAT SAFE NOW IS BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE 152 00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:04,750 GOT THE SHOT. YOU'RE THE PERSON WHO HEADS FOR 153 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,419 THE BATHROOM WHEN THE CHECK COMES AT THE RESTAURANT. 154 00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:08,487 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU'RE THE LADY WHO TAKES HOME 155 00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,756 THE CENTERPIECES FROM A WEDDING YOU WEREN'T INVITED TO. 156 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,491 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU'RE THE GUY WHO BRINGS FIVE 157 00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:14,626 NAPKINS TO A POTLUCK. THAT'S YOU. 158 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:15,627 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU DON'T THINK IT'S YOU, BUT 159 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:22,367 IT'S YOU. ON A BRIGHTER NOTE LEGOS, WHICH 160 00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:27,906 CALEB AND CHELSEA, IS THE TOY THAT WILL SOON COVER EVERY 161 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:31,109 SURFACE OF YOUR HOME. LAUGH LEGO IN THE SPIRIT OF 162 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,178 INCLUSIVENESS UNVEILED "EVERYONE IS AWESOME." 163 00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:35,847 ITS FIRST-EVER LGBTQ-THEMED SET. IN HONOR OF PRIDE MONTH WHICH IS 164 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:41,320 NEXT MONTH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 165 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:42,788 I MEAN, THAT SHOULD KEEP SEAN HANNITY'S HEAD SMOKING LIKE A 166 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:43,655 BURNT MEATLOAF FOR ANOTHER MONTH OR SO. 167 00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:45,657 [ LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE, THIS MEANS 168 00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:51,530 CONSERVATIVES WILL MOST LIKELY BE BOYCOTTING LEGO, WHICH IS 169 00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:53,999 GOING TO BE ESPECIALLY TOUGH FOR TUCKER CARLSON, SINCE HE IS ONE. 170 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,468 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] LEGO ISN'T THE FIRST COMPANY TO 171 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,871 DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS. MATTEL DID SOMETHING LIKE THIS A 172 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:03,475 COUPLE OF YEARS AGO. AND IT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE A BIG 173 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,543 DEAL TO HAVE THESE KINDS OF TOYS. 174 00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:05,744 BUT HAVING TOYS THAT KIDS CAN RELATE TO IS IMPORTANT. 175 00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:08,613 THIS IS SOMETHING I WAS DISCUSSING WITH ONE OF OUR 176 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,149 WRITERS LOUIS AND HE HAD SOME INTERESTING THOUGHTS ON IT. 177 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:15,087 SO HERE NOW TO WEIGH IN ON THE LEGO PRIDE SET IS LOUIS VIRTEL. 178 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:16,621 TO VIRTEL IT LIKE IT IS. LOUIS? 179 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:25,230 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> THANK YOU FOR THE 180 00:09:25,299 --> 00:09:28,300 OPPORTUNITY, JIMMY. AND NOT JUST BECAUSE I'M THE 181 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:33,372 ONLY GAY PERSON YOU'VE EVER MET. [ LAUGHTER ] 182 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,442 THE LEGO PRIDE SET, I'M ALL FOR IT. 183 00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:38,911 GROWING UP AND PLAYING WITH LEGOS, I DIDN'T GET MUCH OUT OF 184 00:09:38,913 --> 00:09:43,181 BUILDING A BLUE HOUSE OR A YELLOW POST OFFICE. 185 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,651 BUT NOW YOU CAN GO AND BUILD THE GAY HARDWARE STORE AND THE GAY 186 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:50,855 FIRE STATION. FLY THE GAY MILLENNIUM FALCON. 187 00:09:50,925 --> 00:09:52,257 [ LAUGHTER ] I THINK WE MAY HAVE MADE LEGOS, 188 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,191 WHAT'S THE WORD? FUN. 189 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:57,930 [ LAUGHTER ] AND BY THE WAY, YOU DON'T HAVE 190 00:09:57,998 --> 00:09:59,397 TO BE GAY TO PLAY WITH THESE. GOD KNOWS, ALL I DID GROWING UP 191 00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:03,869 WAS PLAY WITH OVERTLY HETEROSEXUAL ACTION FIGURES, AND 192 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,604 I STILL TURNED OUT LIKE MORRISSEY'S BITCHY NEPHEW. 193 00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:11,543 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] 194 00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:14,012 YOU MIGHT THINK, "WELL, WHO SAYS THE ORIGINAL LEGOS WEREN'T GAY?" 195 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,082 AFTER ALL, THEY WEAR BRIGHT COLORS AND THEIR HAIR IS 196 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,483 DETACHABLE, SO THEY'RE BASICALLY DRAG QUEENS. 197 00:10:18,552 --> 00:10:21,820 [ LAUGHTER ] BUT IT'S NICE NOT TO HAVE TO 198 00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:26,692 PRETEND. BECAUSE BEING GAY, WATCH THIS, 199 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,760 IS REAL! IT'S PEOPLE'S LIVES. 200 00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,762 IT'S NOT SOMETHING THE WRITERS OF "WILL & GRACE" INVENTED IN 201 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,630 1998, WHICH IS WHAT I THOUGHT FOR A WHILE. 202 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:36,702 [ LAUGHTER ] THE GAYEST TOY I HAD GROWING UP 203 00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:40,372 WAS LITE BRITE. [ LAUGHTER ] 204 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:45,843 [ APPLAUSE ] USING JUST 50 PEGS, I TURNED MY 205 00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:49,848 BEDROOM INTO STUDIO 54. [ LAUGHTER ] 206 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:53,251 SORRY, DAD. BUT MOST OF THE TIME, I WAS 207 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:58,256 STUCK PLAYING WITH UNBEARABLY BORING STRAIGHT TOYS. 208 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:06,198 LIKE NINJA TURTLES. DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO 209 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,200 WANTS TO SAY THE WORD NUNCHUCKS? I DON'T, I DON'T. 210 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:13,471 OR G.I. JOE. DO WE HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON? 211 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,741 HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE CAREER OF VIOLA DAVIS. 212 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:19,945 [ LAUGHTER ] OR LIKE A GAME, LIKE MONOPOLY, 213 00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:23,281 WHERE THE ONLY WAY TO EXPRESS YOUR GAYNESS WAS IDENTIFYING AS 214 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:27,019 A THIMBLE. [ LAUGHTER ] 215 00:11:27,021 --> 00:11:33,291 THE CLOSEST I CAME TO REALIZING I WAS GAY AS A KID WAS PLAYING 216 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,160 "TOMB RAIDER," SEEING HOT, BUSTY, LARA CROFT BEAT UP A 217 00:11:36,230 --> 00:11:38,229 MUMMY, AND THINKING, "SHE'S GETTING SO MUCH OUT OF HER 218 00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:42,968 ANTHROPOLOGY DEGREE." [ LAUGHTER ] 219 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:46,838 I'D ARGUE "REPRESENTATION" IS AS IMPORTANT IN TOYS, THINGS WE 220 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,640 PLAY WITH TO IMITATE HUMAN EXPERIENCE, AS IT IS IN TV OR 221 00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:54,446 MOVIES. SO ENJOY YOUR GAY LEGOS, KIDS! 222 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,247 LET THIS USHER IN THE GOLDEN AGE OF QUEER TOYS. 223 00:11:56,316 --> 00:12:00,451 HOPEFULLY AS AN ADULT, YOU'LL BE WAY LESS CONFUSED THAN ME, 224 00:12:00,521 --> 00:12:06,391 SOMEONE WHO STILL HAS A CRUSH ON THE DIVER FROM MOUSE TRAP. 225 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:17,268 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] WHAT A STUD. 226 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,670 I'M TAKING HIM HOME WITH ME. THANK YOU, JIMMY. 227 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:24,610 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, LOUIS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 228 00:12:24,678 --> 00:12:29,547 AND GOOD FOR LEGOS. FOR INCLUDING EVERYONE. 229 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:34,753 WHEREAS DUPLO IS STILL COMMITTED WITH THE AMISH, QUAKER-STYLE, 230 00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:35,820 PURITANICAL HETERO MISSIONARY SEX. 231 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:41,493 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU GET IT, RIGHT? 232 00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:44,362 >> Guillermo: YEAH, SURE. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. 233 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:47,566 HEY, WE'VE GOT A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 234 00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:50,302 WHO'S ON THE SHOW TONIGHT? OH. 235 00:12:50,304 --> 00:12:55,039 YVONNE ORJI IS HERE WITH US ON THE SHOW, THAT'S A PERSON, NOT A 236 00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:57,242 SEX THING. MUSIC FROM COUNTING CROWS 237 00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:58,176 TONIGHT. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH RYAN 238 00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:04,149 SEACREST, SO STICK AROUND! >> Jimmy: HI, THERE. 239 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:13,658 WELCOME BACK. TONIGHT, HER NEW BOOK IS CALLED 240 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:14,726 "BAMBOOZLED BY JESUS" THE VERY FUNNY YVONNE ORJI IS HERE. 241 00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:21,533 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THEN LATER, THEIR FIRST NEW 242 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,668 MUSIC IN SEVEN YEARS, IT COMES OUT TOMORROW. 243 00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:24,269 IT'S CALLED "BUTTER MIRACLE, SUITE ONE," THE RETURN OF 244 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:30,075 COUNTING CROWS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 245 00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:33,945 NEXT WEEK, WE'VE GOT NEW SHOWS WITH EMMA STONE, EMILY BLUNT, 246 00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:36,615 ELIZABETH BANKS, LENA WAITHE, AND JOHN KRASINSKI. 247 00:13:36,617 --> 00:13:38,483 WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM THE BAND CAMINO, ALLISON RUSSELL 248 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:42,821 FEATURING BRITTNEY SPENCER AND BRANDI CARLISLE, PLUS THE WINNER 249 00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,089 OF "AMERICAN IDOL," WHOEVER THAT MAY BE. 250 00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:49,227 MAYBE WE'LL FIND OUT NOW. THIS GUY PROBABLY KNOWS WHO IT 251 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,563 IS. HE WORKS ABOUT 27 HOURS A DAY. 252 00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:54,632 [ LAUGHTER ] HE'S THE ENERGIZER BUNNY OF 253 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:55,900 BROADCASTING YOU SEE HIM EVERY MORNING ON "LIVE WITH KELLY AND 254 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,370 RYAN" AND ON SUNDAY HE HOSTS THE SEASON FINALE OF "AMERICAN IDOL" 255 00:13:58,372 --> 00:14:00,304 LIVE HERE ON ABC. PLEASE SAY HELLO TO 256 00:14:00,374 --> 00:14:05,110 RYAN SEACREST. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 257 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:21,660 ♪ >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT? 258 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,261 IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. >> GREAT TO SEE YOU. 259 00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,931 >> Jimmy: EVERY TIME YOU'RE HERE, I FEEL PAD THAT WE ASKED 260 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,599 YOU TO COME. >> NO, DON'T FEEL BAD AT ALL. 261 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:32,137 I WAS JUST TAKING A NAP IN THE EEVATOR, I'M WELL RESTED NOW. 262 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,338 >> Jimmy: GOOD. YOU'RE ON "LIVE! WITH KELLY AND 263 00:14:34,408 --> 00:14:35,740 RYAN." THIS MORNING IN NEW YORK. 264 00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:38,409 >> YES, I WAS, I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT WE DID OR WHO WE TALKED TO 265 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:40,278 BUT KELLY WAS THERE. >> Jimmy: THAT IS TRUE, YOU 266 00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:42,481 CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING? >> I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING. 267 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,349 I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S AGE OR TOO MANY SHOWS. 268 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:47,418 >> Jimmy: IT'S TOO MANY SHOWS. NO, IT'S NOT EVEN TOO MANY 269 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,553 SHOWS. I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING, I 270 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:51,689 ONLY HAVE THE ONE SHOW, AND I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING. 271 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:54,692 >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: I'LL GO HOME, HOW WAS 272 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,093 THE SHOW? I'LL BE LIKE, I DON'T KNOW. 273 00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:58,763 >> I USUALLY SAY, I WASN'T GOOD. >> Jimmy: SO YOU ARE -- THERE 274 00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:01,966 POSSIBLE, RIGHT?YOU, THAT IS - IF THERE'S ANOTHER RYAN 275 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:05,637 SEACREST, YOU WOULDN'T TELL US? >> I WOULD NEVER TELL YOU THAT. 276 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:08,306 BUT I LIKE -- I LOVE THE NOTION OF THAT, ESPECIALLY DURING THIS 277 00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:11,042 TIME OF YEAR, GOING BACK AND FORTH EVERY END OF THE WEEK, I 278 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:15,313 DO "IDOL" ON SUNDAY, THEN TAKE THE REDEYE FLIGHT OVERNIGHT BACK 279 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:16,982 TO SEE KELLY IN THE MORNING. >> Jimmy: YEAH. 280 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,649 >> THIS IS A HECTIC TIME OF YEAR. 281 00:15:18,719 --> 00:15:20,585 >> Jimmy: THIS IS A HECTIC TIME. YOU KNOW WHAT? 282 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:24,656 I HAVE NOTICED FROM MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, I'M SURE 283 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,525 YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY, BECAUSE I'VE HOSTED WITH KELLY A FEW 284 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,793 TIMES. SHE MAKES IT VERY EASY. 285 00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:34,733 >> OH, LITERALLY, SHE'S THE GREATEST LIVE TALENT I'VE EVER 286 00:15:34,735 --> 00:15:36,935 WORKED WITH. >> Jimmy: I AGREE WITH YOU. 287 00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,604 >> SHE CAN HANDLE EVERYTHING WITH THE WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR 288 00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:41,406 SHE HAS. WE KNOW HER VERY WELL. 289 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:45,143 AS A MATTER OF FACT, SHE WAS TELLING ME -- HER HUSBAND IS 290 00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:50,148 MARK CONSUELOS, A LOVELY MAN. >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, HANDSOME 291 00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:51,482 TOO. >> SO FIT IT'S ANNOYING. 292 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:56,221 I TELL HIM THAT, HE KNOWS THAT. SHE TOLD ME YOU COINED THE TERM 293 00:15:56,289 --> 00:16:01,426 NARCOLEPSY, BECAUSE HE WILL FALL ASLEEP DURING EVERYTHING. 294 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:04,029 >> Jimmy: OH, MARCOLEPSY. >> YES. 295 00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,231 >> Jimmy: HE FALLS ASLEEP WHEN YOU'RE WITH HIM. 296 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:09,834 >> DID HE DO IT WHEN YOU WERE AT DINNER OR SOMETHING? 297 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:12,571 >> Jimmy: AT HIS HOUSE, YEAH, HE FELL ASLEEP THERE IN THE ROOM. 298 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:16,775 >> ANKLE ME TOLD ME THAT YOU HAVE MARCOLEPSY AS WELL. 299 00:16:16,777 --> 00:16:20,845 >> Jimmy: I HAVE NARCOLEPSY. IT'S NAMED ESPECIALLY FOR HIM, 300 00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,914 THE MARCOLEPSY. [ LAUGHTER ] 301 00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:26,050 >> CAN YOU SLEEP EASILY? >> Jimmy: I'M OUT LIKE NOTHING. 302 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:30,255 >> THAT'S A BLESSING. IT'S A BLESSING BECAUSE A LOT OF 303 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,257 PEOPLE GENUINELY SUFFER FROM IT AND IT'S A REAL PROBLEM FOR THEM 304 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:34,326 IN THEIR LIVES. FOR ME? 305 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:38,329 I HAVE THE BEST-CASE SCENARIO -- UNLESS I'M DRIVING AND I FALL 306 00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,131 ASLEEP, THAT'S NOT GOOD. >> THAT IS BAD, YEAH. 307 00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:44,536 >> Jimmy: MARC FALLS ASLEEP, I'M GLAD TO HEAR HE FALLS ASLEEP ON 308 00:16:44,538 --> 00:16:45,403 YOU -- >> ALL THE TIME. 309 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,805 >> Jimmy: I THOUGHT I WAS JUST BORING. 310 00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:49,474 [ LAUGHTER ] I FIGURED, OH, WELL. 311 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,677 >> HE DOES ON IT A REGULAR BASIS, IT'S MADE US CLOSER. 312 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:56,414 >> YOU DO GET CLOSER TO SOMEONE WHEN YOU WATCH THEM SLEEP. 313 00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:59,751 >> WHEN THEY CAN FALL ASLEEP IN FRONT OF YOU, IT'S A BOND. 314 00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:00,885 >> Jimmy: IT'S A LEVEL OF COMFORT IS WHAT IT IS. 315 00:17:00,954 --> 00:17:05,490 SO WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR THREE TO FOUR MINUTES OF FREE 316 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:07,158 TIME EACH DAY? [ LAUGHTER ] 317 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:10,028 >> WELL, I USUALLY THINK ABOUT, YOU KNOW, WHAT I'M GOING TO EAT. 318 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,964 AND THEN I EAT IT IN THE SECOND MINUTE. 319 00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:14,098 THEN I DIGEST IT IN THE THIRD MINUTE. 320 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:17,969 >> Jimmy: DO YOU EAT FAST? >> EVERY MORNING I TAKE TWO -- I 321 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:23,841 TAKE TWO LUNCH SAT CHETS, A LUNCH SATCHEL, A SNACK SATCHEL. 322 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:27,578 AFTER THE MORNING SHOW, BEFORE I DO SOMETHING ELSE, I'LL HAVE 323 00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,514 FOOD AT A DESK. THEN IN THE AFTERNOON, BEFORE I 324 00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,916 WORK OUT, I'LL HAVE A LITTLE BIT MORE FOOD. 325 00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:37,055 ALL IN THESE LITTLE CONTAINERS. USUALLY LABELED. 326 00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:38,456 "QUINOA" AND "QUINOA." [ LAUGHTER ] 327 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,792 THAT'S THE EXCITING LIFE. >> Jimmy: THIS IS WHAT WE DO FOR 328 00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:45,062 OUR CHILDREN EVERY DAY, PUT A LITTLE NOTE IN THERE, SEND THEM 329 00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,798 TO SCHOOL. >> I'M ABOUT THE SIZE OF YOUR 330 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:47,999 KIDS. [ LAUGHTER ] 331 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,067 SO THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DON'T HAVE 332 00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:53,738 MUCH TIME TO DO ANYTHING. YET I HEAR YOU'RE LEARNING TO 333 00:17:53,807 --> 00:17:54,806 SPEAK ITALIAN, WHICH SEEMS LIKE A BIG ENDEAVOR. 334 00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:59,077 >> IT IS A -- IT IS SO FRUSTRATING TO TRY AND LEARN A 335 00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:00,879 LANGUAGE, AT MY AGE, I'M 46 YEARS OLD. 336 00:18:00,881 --> 00:18:05,483 BUT I WANTED TO DO IT. I, LIKE YOU, I'M A HUGE FOODIE, 337 00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:07,285 I LOVE FOOD. TO ME, ANY TIME I GO TO A 338 00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:09,954 RESTAURANT, I WANT TO MEET THE CHEF, I WANT A PICTURE WITH THE 339 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:12,891 CHEF -- >> Jimmy: GRAB EVERYTHING THEY 340 00:18:12,893 --> 00:18:14,359 HAVE. >> EVERYTHING THEY HAVE. 341 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:15,560 WHAT IS YOUR SIGNATURE, LET ME TASTE IT ALL. 342 00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:19,630 ITALIAN FOOD IS MY FAVORITE. I THOUGHT, LET ME TRY AND LEARN 343 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:22,634 ITALIAN. I STARTED TAKING LESSONS ON 344 00:18:22,636 --> 00:18:25,503 PHYSICAL TIME WHEN I'M TRAVELING. 345 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,839 >> Jimmy: WHO TEACHES YOU? >> ANTONELLA. 346 00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:29,441 >> Jimmy: SHE'S IN IT LA OR THE UNITED STATES? 347 00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:32,711 >> SHE'S IN THE UNITED STATES. SHE'S BEEN IN ITALY, SHE'S 348 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:33,778 ITALIAN. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE PRONOUNCING 349 00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:35,780 "ITALY" LIKE THAT. >> THAT'S THE PROBLEM, WHEN I GO 350 00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:39,250 ANYWHERE, I HAVE THIS AWFUL THING WHERE I START TO TALK WITH 351 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,319 AN ACCENT WHEN I ORDER THE FOOD. [ LAUGHTER ] 352 00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:44,122 >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, YEAH. >> THAT'S BAD, SO LET ME TRY AND 353 00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:52,063 SO I KNOW MACHINA.. I KNOW GATO-GATI. 354 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,664 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. >> NO SENTENCES. 355 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,134 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE LUCKY YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS, THEY'D BE MAKING SO 356 00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:57,802 MUCH FUN OF YOU RIGHT NOW. [ LAUGHTER ] 357 00:18:57,871 --> 00:19:00,204 >> I DON'T NEED KIDS, TO BE MADE FUN OF. 358 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,806 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I THOUGHT ABOUT -- 359 00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:04,609 I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT LEARNING TO SPEAK SPECIFICALLY ITALIAN. 360 00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,879 YOU KNOW, I WANT TO DO THAT. I KNOW I NEVER WILL. 361 00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:10,682 I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT. BUT THEN I ALSO THINK HOW 362 00:19:10,684 --> 00:19:13,952 ANNOYING THAT WOULD BE TO MY CHILDREN, TO HEAR ME SUDDENLY 363 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:16,888 SPEAKING WITH AN ACCENT. IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU TURN ON THE 364 00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:26,231 LOCAL NEWS AND THEY'RE OVERENUNCIATING THINGS. 365 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:35,306 "HERE IN LOS AN-GEL-ES." WE KNOW IT'S LOS ANGELES, JUST 366 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,374 SAY IT. >> ITALIAN FOOD IS SPECIAL TO 367 00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:40,378 ME, THE OLIVE TREE IS MY FAVORITE TREE IN THE WORLD -- 368 00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:42,580 >> Jimmy: I NEVER KNEW YOU HAD A FAVORITE TREE. 369 00:19:42,648 --> 00:19:44,048 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WHAT'S YOURS, JIMMY? 370 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:44,782 >> Jimmy: I GUESS CHRISTMAS? I DON'T KNOW. 371 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:52,990 [ LAUGHTER ] >> THE DECIDUOUS TREE? 372 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:53,791 SO I STARTED PLANTING OLIVE TREES. 373 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,127 AND I'M MAKING OLIVE OIL AS WELL. 374 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:57,461 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE REALLY DOING THAT, HUH? 375 00:19:57,531 --> 00:20:00,532 >> YEAH, I NEEDED SOME HOBBIES. >> Jimmy: HOW DO YOU SQUEEZE IT? 376 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,535 >> PRESS IT. SO I'M -- 377 00:20:03,537 --> 00:20:06,004 >> Jimmy: BETWEEN YOUR GLUTEUS MAXIMUS? 378 00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,405 [ LAUGHTER ] WHILE IN THE GYM? 379 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,074 >> THAT'S HOW I GET MY EXERCISE. THE PIT OF AN OLIVE, RIGHT NOW. 380 00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:15,547 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] 381 00:20:15,549 --> 00:20:19,550 SO THE GOAL IS TO TRY AND APPARENTLY HARVEST, THEN GET IT 382 00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:22,420 INTO THE BOTTLE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE, TO HAVE THAT GRASSY 383 00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:23,888 FLAVOR. >> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE A MACHINE? 384 00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:25,022 >> I DON'T. YOU RENT A MACHINE. 385 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:30,294 >> Jimmy: YOU RENT A MACHINE. SO YOU RENT A MACHINA. 386 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:42,039 [ LAUGHTER ] >> YES, A MACHINA. 387 00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:42,973 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE YOUR OWN OLIVE OIL? 388 00:20:43,043 --> 00:20:44,108 >> I WILL. >> Jimmy: THAT'S GOT TO BE GOOD. 389 00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:44,975 YOU CAN SAY, YEAH, THAT'S MY OLIVE OIL, I MADE IT IN THE 390 00:20:45,045 --> 00:20:46,110 YARD. PEOPLE WILL BE LIKE, OH MY GOD, 391 00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:47,979 YOU'RE MAGICAL, RYAN! >> OBVIOUSLY I'LL SAY IT IN 392 00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:49,514 ITALIAN. >> Jimmy: ALWAYS SAY IT IN 393 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,116 ITALIAN, FA GET ABOUT IT. WHY? 394 00:20:51,184 --> 00:20:53,117 YOU'RE NOT GETTING ENOUGH SEX? [ LAUGHTER ] 395 00:20:53,186 --> 00:20:56,854 WHY HEARN TO SPEAK ITALIAN AND LEARN TO MAKE OLIVE OIL? 396 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,455 >> OLIVE OIL AND SEX, I NEVER THOUGHT OF --. 397 00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:01,859 >> Jimmy: I REALIZED SOMETHING, I REALIZE THAT YOU -- I KNOW 398 00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:05,997 WHAT'S GOING ON. YOU'RE PLANNING YOUR EXIT FROM 399 00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:07,465 NOT JUST SHOW BUSINESS, THE UNITED STATES. 400 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:12,403 YOU ARE GOING TO BUY A BIG PLOT, MAYBE YOU'LL BUY AN ITALIAN 401 00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:13,605 PROVINCE. [ LAUGHTER ] 402 00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:17,074 THEN YOU WILL LIVE THERE. AND YOU WILL NOW KNOW HOW TO 403 00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:19,611 SPEAK ITALIAN. AND YOU'LL BE MAKING OLIVE OIL. 404 00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:21,079 AND IT WILL BE THE LAST WE EVER SEE OF YOU. 405 00:21:21,081 --> 00:21:28,019 >> SO THIS IS MY EXIT STRATEGY? >> Jimmy: THIS IS YOUR 406 00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:30,288 ARRIVIDERCI, AS THEY SAY. [ LAUGHTER ] 407 00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:31,889 [ APPLAUSE ] >> SOUNDS ROMANTIC. 408 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,357 >> Jimmy: I'M NOT ON TO ANYTHING? 409 00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:35,360 >> I LIKE YOUR LINE OF THINKING. >> Jimmy: RYAN SEACREST HERE, AS 410 00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:38,095 YOU KNOW, HE'S THE HOST OF A LOT OF STUFF, INCLUDING "AMERICAN 411 00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:39,163 IDOL," THE FINALE IS SUNDAY NIGHT. 412 00:21:39,232 --> 00:21:42,467 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. >> Jimmy: HI THERE, WE ARE BACK. 413 00:21:49,108 --> 00:21:51,909 YVONNE ORJI AND COUNTING CROWS IS COMING UP. 414 00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:54,779 RYAN SEACREST IS WITH US, THE BIG "AMERICAN IDOL" FINALE 415 00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:57,315 SUNDAY NIGHT, THREE-HOUR FINALE. >> THANK YOU. 416 00:21:57,383 --> 00:22:01,585 I SAW THE PRESS RELEASE AND IT SAID, IT'S FROM 8:00 TO 11:00. 417 00:22:01,655 --> 00:22:05,790 I DID NOT KNOW THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] 418 00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:09,727 USED TO I WHEN I STARTED OUT THEY'D CHECK WITH YOU, SAY HEY, 419 00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:11,262 ARE YOU AVAILABLE? JUST SO YOU KNOW, IT'S GOING TO 420 00:22:11,264 --> 00:22:15,065 BE A TWO-HOUR SPECIAL, A THREE-HOUR EXTRAVAGANZA. 421 00:22:15,135 --> 00:22:16,534 NOW THEY JUST ANNOUNCE IT. [ LAUGHTER ] 422 00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:20,471 >> Jimmy: TO MOST PEOPLE, IT'S NO DIFFERENCE, IT GOES FROM TWO 423 00:22:20,539 --> 00:22:21,806 HOURS TO THREE HOURS. BUT YOU HAVE TO GET ON A PLANE 424 00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:26,945 AND FLY TO NEW YORK AFTER THAT. >> YES, ONE LESS HOUR I DON'T 425 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:28,880 SLEEP OVERNIGHT. >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT 426 00:22:28,882 --> 00:22:30,014 TRYING TO CONVINCE KELLY TO MOVE HERE? 427 00:22:30,083 --> 00:22:33,017 >> I DON'T THINK I'D HAVE TO CONVINCE HER, I THINK SHE REALLY 428 00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:35,820 LIKES IT OUT HERE. >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 429 00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:39,490 >> GELMAN. >> Jimmy: I THINK YOU COULD DO 430 00:22:39,559 --> 00:22:42,694 THE SHOW WITHOUT GELMAN. [ LAUGHTER ] 431 00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:45,296 >> I HAVE TO GO BACK AND SEE HIM MONDAY. 432 00:22:45,298 --> 00:22:50,034 >> Jimmy: I LIKE GELMAN, BUT I THINK WHAT WE'VE EARNED IN THIS 433 00:22:50,103 --> 00:22:52,169 ERA OF ZOOM, GELMAN CAN STAY HOME. 434 00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:53,504 [ LAUGHTER ] >> SHE LOVES IT OUT HERE. 435 00:22:53,573 --> 00:22:57,508 SHE SENDS HER LOVE TO YOU. >> Jimmy: I WAS THINKING ABOUT 436 00:22:57,577 --> 00:23:00,311 SIMON COWELL AND WHAT THE SHOW USED TO BE LIKE, COMPARED TO 437 00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:06,917 WHAT IT IS LIKE NOW. AND I WAS WONDERING, DUO YOU 438 00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:09,587 THINK ANY OF THAT WOULD FLY NOW? >> IT IS A DIFFERENT TIME. 439 00:23:09,655 --> 00:23:11,989 >> Jimmy: HE WOULD TEAR THROUGH THE CONTESTANTS. 440 00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:14,058 >> AND PEOPLE LOVED IT. >> Jimmy: I'LL BE HONEST, I 441 00:23:14,127 --> 00:23:17,862 ENJOYED IT THOROUGHLY. BUT NOW IT SEEMS LIKE IT'S SO -- 442 00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:20,864 >> YOU WERE THERE, YOU WERE DOING IT, WHAT WOULD YOU BE 443 00:23:20,934 --> 00:23:21,933 LIKE? >> Jimmy: IF I WAS DOING IT? 444 00:23:22,001 --> 00:23:26,604 >> IF YOU WERE JUDGING. >> Jimmy: WHAT I WOULD BE LIKE, 445 00:23:26,673 --> 00:23:29,073 INSIDE I WOULD WANT TO DO WHAT SIMON DID. 446 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:31,075 >> RIGHT. >> Jimmy: BUT INSTEAD I WOULD BE 447 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:36,280 LIONEL RICHIE, I GUESS. [ LAUGHTER ] 448 00:23:36,282 --> 00:23:38,349 IT IS MY GOAL TO BE LIONEL RICHIE. 449 00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:42,219 >> AND MINE. THE GUY, LIONEL RICHIE IS THE 450 00:23:42,288 --> 00:23:43,220 GREATEST INDIVIDUAL WALKING THIS PLANET. 451 00:23:43,289 --> 00:23:46,691 THE MAN WAKES UP EVERY DAY EXCITED TO BE HIMSELF. 452 00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:49,493 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] HE'S THE NICEST GUY. 453 00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:52,029 >> Jimmy: WHY DO YOU SAY HE WAKES UP EXCITED TO BE HIMSELF? 454 00:23:52,031 --> 00:23:55,099 >> I'LL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHY. I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP. 455 00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:58,902 HE'LL TELL YOU THE SAME STORY. SO I SAID TO LIONEL, EVERY DAY 456 00:23:58,972 --> 00:24:01,772 YOU'RE SMILING, HAPPY TO BE HERE, YOU'VE GOT THE MOST ENERGY 457 00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:05,643 OF ANY OF US. I SAID, WHAT IS IT YOU'RE DOING? 458 00:24:05,711 --> 00:24:08,179 HE SAID, RYAN? I TAKE MY SHOWER IN THE MORNING. 459 00:24:08,247 --> 00:24:11,049 PUT THE TOWEL AROUND MYSELF. GET OUT OF THE SHOWER. 460 00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:14,051 I LOOK IN THE MIRROR. AND I SAY, YOU'RE LIONEL RICHIE. 461 00:24:14,053 --> 00:24:18,122 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] 462 00:24:18,191 --> 00:24:20,458 AND THE REST OF THE DAY, I'M LIONEL RICHIE. 463 00:24:20,526 --> 00:24:22,326 AND THAT'S HOW HE DOES IT EVERY DAY. 464 00:24:22,328 --> 00:24:24,528 >> Jimmy: WOW. >> THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE DOES, 465 00:24:24,597 --> 00:24:26,397 MORNING ROUTINE. >> Jimmy: I WOULD IMAGINE HIM 466 00:24:26,466 --> 00:24:28,199 DOING THAT WITHOUT THE TOWEL. [ LAUGHTER ] 467 00:24:28,201 --> 00:24:30,067 >> YEAH. I DON'T KNOW HOW HIS DAY WOULD 468 00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:32,403 GO AFTER THAT. BUT HE IS JUST THE GREATEST. 469 00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:33,671 >> Jimmy: HE IS THE GREATEST. I LOVE HIM. 470 00:24:33,739 --> 00:24:36,808 YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, I ASKED HIM IF HE'S EVER MADE LOVE TO HIS 471 00:24:36,876 --> 00:24:38,675 OWN MUSIC. AND HE SAID HE COULDN'T 472 00:24:38,745 --> 00:24:41,278 REMEMBER. AND THEN I ASKED LUKE BRYAN WHAT 473 00:24:41,347 --> 00:24:44,348 HE THOUGHT. HE SAID, "OH, HE'S DEFINITELY 474 00:24:44,417 --> 00:24:48,085 DONE THAT." I DON'T KNOW, HE JUST FEELS -- 475 00:24:48,154 --> 00:24:49,153 DO YOU BELIEVE THAT HE -- >> WHO HASN'T DONE THAT? 476 00:24:49,221 --> 00:24:53,490 SO YES, I BELIEVE -- >> Jimmy: I'VE NEVER DONE IT, 477 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,694 MADE LOVE TO MY OWN MUSIC? >> "PENNY LOVER"? 478 00:24:56,763 --> 00:25:01,565 >> Jimmy: OH, TO LIONEL'S MUSIC? I DON'T THINK I'D EVER DO THAT. 479 00:25:01,634 --> 00:25:06,504 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] IT'S HARD FOR ME TO -- THE 480 00:25:06,572 --> 00:25:08,572 MUSIC, THE BEGGING, THE WHINING. [ LAUGHTER ] 481 00:25:08,641 --> 00:25:11,376 >> TOO MUCH GOING ON, I UNDERSTAND, YOU NEED A FOCUS. 482 00:25:11,444 --> 00:25:13,377 >> Jimmy: YOU POSTED ON INSTAGRAM. 483 00:25:13,446 --> 00:25:14,645 >> OH, WOW. >> Jimmy: IT'S YOU AS A KID. 484 00:25:14,647 --> 00:25:17,315 >> YES. >> Jimmy: GLASSES. 485 00:25:17,317 --> 00:25:19,583 >> THIS EXPLAINED A LOT OF ISSUES. 486 00:25:19,652 --> 00:25:23,253 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? CONDUCTING SOME KIND OF RITUAL 487 00:25:23,323 --> 00:25:24,789 SACRIFICE? WHAT'S GOING ON? 488 00:25:24,791 --> 00:25:28,993 >> SO IF YOU SEE THERE, THERE'S A COLEMAN LOGO. 489 00:25:29,061 --> 00:25:32,996 AND I ASKED FOR CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR, GOING THROUGH THE SERVICE 490 00:25:33,066 --> 00:25:33,931 MERCHANDISE CATALOG WHICH WE GOT IN ATLANTA. 491 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,600 >> Jimmy: OH, SERVICE MERCHANDISE. 492 00:25:35,602 --> 00:25:37,735 >> DO YOU REMEMBER THAT? >> Jimmy: YEAH, YES. 493 00:25:37,737 --> 00:25:39,470 I HAVEN'T HEARD THOSE WORDS IN FOREVER. 494 00:25:39,472 --> 00:25:45,609 >> I DON'T THINK IT'S AROUND. YOU GO THERE THE CATALOG, 495 00:25:45,678 --> 00:25:48,279 N-1264FN, THAT WAS THE CODE FOR THE GRILL AND LANTERN. 496 00:25:48,347 --> 00:25:49,547 I GOT IT, HAD NEVER BEEN CAMPING. 497 00:25:49,615 --> 00:25:52,350 I WAS EXCITED, MY FIRST CAMPING TRIP WITH MY DAD. 498 00:25:52,418 --> 00:25:54,952 >> Jimmy: THE LITTLE PROPANE TANK. 499 00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:56,487 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW THIS IS A 500 00:25:56,556 --> 00:26:00,291 SERIOUS TRIP, IF YOU WIDEN OUT, YOU CAN SEE YOU DID LAUNDRY. 501 00:26:00,293 --> 00:26:02,827 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE 502 00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:04,629 REALLY IN IT. >> I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE. 503 00:26:04,697 --> 00:26:06,831 IS THAT TIE DYE? >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT 504 00:26:06,833 --> 00:26:08,833 IS, A BATHING SUIT? >> VERY ON TREND. 505 00:26:08,835 --> 00:26:12,503 >> Jimmy: MAYBE YOUR DAD WAS NAKED WHEN HE TOOK THIS PICTURE? 506 00:26:12,572 --> 00:26:14,238 >> HE WAS IN THE LAGOON AT THAT POINT. 507 00:26:14,307 --> 00:26:15,973 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU A CAMPER NOW? >> NO. 508 00:26:16,042 --> 00:26:16,908 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE NOT. >> SHOCKING, I KNOW. 509 00:26:16,976 --> 00:26:22,313 [ LAUGHTER ] I WENT CAMPING AGAIN A FEW YEARS 510 00:26:22,315 --> 00:26:24,115 LATER WITH MY HIGH SCHOOL BUDDIES AND I DIDN'T DO THAT, I 511 00:26:24,183 --> 00:26:28,786 WAS ON A DIFFERENT EATING REGIMEN AS YOU MIGHT SEE. 512 00:26:28,855 --> 00:26:30,388 >> Jimmy: EVEN IN HIGH SCHOOL, OKAY. 513 00:26:30,456 --> 00:26:34,458 >> AND SO I WENT TO THE STORE AND I BOUGHT A CAN OF SMOKED 514 00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:36,193 OYSTERS. YOU KNOW, LIKE A SARDINE CAN, 515 00:26:36,195 --> 00:26:40,331 YOU PEEL IT BACK, PUT A TOOTHPICK IN, SMOKED OYSTERS, 516 00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:41,532 EAT THEM. >> Jimmy: IN HIGH SCHOOL YOU'RE 517 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,067 EATING THAT? WOW. 518 00:26:43,135 --> 00:26:44,335 >> IT WAS A BARGAIN, NOBODY WANTED THEM. 519 00:26:44,337 --> 00:26:47,671 >> Jimmy: THIS EXPLAINS WHY YOU MAKE YOUR OWN OLIVE OIL. 520 00:26:47,740 --> 00:26:49,339 [ LAUGHTER ] >> SO AFTER I HAD THEM THAT 521 00:26:49,409 --> 00:26:52,543 NIGHT, ALL THE GUYS DOING THEIR BURGERS AND BARBECUE AND ALL 522 00:26:52,612 --> 00:26:53,811 THAT STUFF. I DUMPED THE OIL OUT IN FRONT OF 523 00:26:53,879 --> 00:26:55,480 THE TENT. WENT TO SLEEP. 524 00:26:55,548 --> 00:27:00,217 I HEARD A BUNCH OF RUCKUS. I THOUGHT THE GUYS WERE PLAYING 525 00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:02,086 CARDS. IT WAS RACCOONS AND OTHER 526 00:27:02,088 --> 00:27:03,421 ANIMALS. THAT WAS THE LAST CAMPING TRIP I 527 00:27:03,423 --> 00:27:04,622 TOOK. >> Jimmy: IT ATTRACTED ANIMALS? 528 00:27:04,624 --> 00:27:10,027 >> IT ATTRACTED ANIMALS, YES, DIFFERENT FOUR-LEGGED ANIMALS. 529 00:27:10,096 --> 00:27:12,363 MANY OF WHICH WERE LIFE-THREATENING. 530 00:27:12,365 --> 00:27:13,564 [ LAUGHTER ] SO THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I MADE 531 00:27:13,566 --> 00:27:16,167 TO IT THE APPALACHIAN MOUNTAINS. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE BETTER OFF 532 00:27:16,235 --> 00:27:20,237 DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING. IT'S VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU, GREAT 533 00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:23,641 TO SEE YOU. >> Jimmy: GIVE KELLY MY BEST, 534 00:27:23,709 --> 00:27:28,446 GIVE LIONEL AND KATY AND LUKE AND EVERYONE YOU WORK WITH MY 535 00:27:28,514 --> 00:27:29,847 BEST. BY THE WAY, DO YOU FEEL 536 00:27:29,915 --> 00:27:33,650 RESPONSIBLE FOR CAITLYN JENNER? >> COMING UP NEXT HERE ON "JIMMY 537 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,587 KIMMEL LIVE" -- WHY ARE YOU POINTING A FINGER AT ME? 538 00:27:36,656 --> 00:27:40,257 >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW. >> I'M HAPPY FOR ALL OF THEM! 539 00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:41,992 >> Jimmy: WILL YOU VOTE FOR CAITLYN JENNER? 540 00:27:42,061 --> 00:27:44,595 >> I -- WHICH STATE? [ LAUGHTER ] 541 00:27:44,664 --> 00:27:46,063 >> Jimmy: IN CALIFORNIA. >> I LIVE IN NEW YORK. 542 00:27:46,132 --> 00:27:48,399 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THAT'S A GOOD ANSWER. 543 00:27:48,401 --> 00:27:52,403 THE SEASON FINALE OF "AMERICAN IDOL," LIVE SUNDAY, 8:00 EVEN, 544 00:27:52,471 --> 00:27:54,672 5:00 PACIFIC ON ABC. RYAN SEACREST, EVERYBODY! 545 00:27:54,740 --> 00:28:01,946 WE'LL BE BACK WITH YVONNE ORJI. >> Jimmy: HI, AND WELCOME BACK 546 00:28:07,353 --> 00:28:10,020 TO THE SHOW. MUSIC FROM COUNTING CROWS IS ON 547 00:28:10,089 --> 00:28:11,688 THE WAY. OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY FUNNY 548 00:28:11,758 --> 00:28:15,359 ACTRESS AND COMEDIAN YOU KNOW FROM THE SHOW "INSECURE" ON HBO. 549 00:28:15,427 --> 00:28:18,429 HER BRAND-NEW BOOK IS THIS, "BAMBOOZLED BY JESUS." 550 00:28:18,431 --> 00:28:19,964 IT COMES OUT TUESDAY, GOD WILLING. 551 00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:25,569 PLEASE WELCOME YVONNE ORJI. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 552 00:28:25,638 --> 00:28:37,047 ♪ >> HEY! 553 00:28:37,116 --> 00:28:40,051 >> Jimmy: THANKS FOR COMING. >> THANKS FOR HAVING ME. 554 00:28:40,053 --> 00:28:42,119 >> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU WORKED TODAY, SHOOTING THE FINAL 555 00:28:42,188 --> 00:28:44,255 SEASON? >> THE FINAL SEASON OF 556 00:28:44,323 --> 00:28:45,723 "INSECURE." >> Jimmy: IS IT GETTING 557 00:28:45,791 --> 00:28:46,791 SENTIMENTAL ON SET? >> TODAY IT DID. 558 00:28:46,859 --> 00:28:50,794 BECAUSE WE ACTUALLY HAD YOU'RE FINAL TABLE READ. 559 00:28:50,863 --> 00:28:52,196 >> Jimmy: TODAY WAS THE LAST TABLE READ. 560 00:28:52,264 --> 00:28:54,264 >> YEAH, THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN THUG TEARS SHED. 561 00:28:54,333 --> 00:28:59,070 >> Jimmy: THERE WERE? >> PRIOR TO TODAY, WE WOULD BE 562 00:28:59,138 --> 00:29:05,742 ON EACH OTHER'S SETS, APARTMENT SETS, LIKE, I'M TAKING THAT. 563 00:29:05,812 --> 00:29:07,478 THAT ONE I WANT FROM YOUR APARTMENT. 564 00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:08,812 [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE CALLING DIBS. 565 00:29:08,881 --> 00:29:11,682 >> Jimmy: YOU GET TO TAKE THINGS FROM EACH OTHER'S TV APARTMENTS? 566 00:29:11,684 --> 00:29:15,752 IT SEEMS LIKE YOU GET THE STUFF IN YOUR TV APARTMENT, AND THAT'S 567 00:29:15,822 --> 00:29:17,888 IT. >> JIMMY WHY YOU TRYING TO BLOCK 568 00:29:17,957 --> 00:29:20,891 MY BLESSINGS? [ LAUGHTER ] 569 00:29:20,893 --> 00:29:22,626 LET ME HAVE IT. ILSA HAS NICE STUFF TOO. 570 00:29:22,628 --> 00:29:27,431 >> Jimmy: THIS IS QUITE A TITLE, A REALLY GOOD TITLE, "BAMBOOZLED 571 00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:29,433 BY JESUS." I WONDER IF IT WILL BE IN THE 572 00:29:29,435 --> 00:29:32,102 CHRISTIAN SECTION? OR THE BAMBOOZLED SECTION? 573 00:29:32,171 --> 00:29:35,973 OR THE COMEDY SECTION? WHERE WILL IT BE LISTED? 574 00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:37,507 >> I THINK BARNES & NOBLE IS KED AS WELL. 575 00:29:37,577 --> 00:29:42,780 I DON'T KNOW, IT WILL BE IN THE CHRISTIAN/MEMOIR, I DON'T KNOW. 576 00:29:42,848 --> 00:29:49,586 >> Jimmy: BARNES SAYS CHRISTIAN, NOBLE SAYS BAMBOOZLED SECTION. 577 00:29:49,655 --> 00:29:50,921 >> WHATEVE SECTION GETS THE MOST PEOPLE TO BUY IT. 578 00:29:50,989 --> 00:29:54,325 >> Jimmy: THIS IS A STORY ABOUT YOUR LIFE, YOUR FAMILY. 579 00:29:54,393 --> 00:29:56,193 YOU BROUGHT ME FOOD TODAY. >> I DID. 580 00:29:56,262 --> 00:30:00,197 >> Jimmy: I'M NOT EXAGGERATING, I HAD IT BEFORE THE SHOW, IT IS 581 00:30:00,266 --> 00:30:03,667 ONE OF THE MOST DELICIOUS THINGS I'VE EVER EATEN IN MY LIFE. 582 00:30:03,736 --> 00:30:10,207 >> I BROUGHT JIMMY NIGERIAN JELA FRIES. 583 00:30:10,276 --> 00:30:15,946 >> Jimmy: A LITTLE BIT SPICY AND VERY TASTY, VERY GOOD, THANK YOU 584 00:30:16,015 --> 00:30:18,949 VERY MUCH. >> VERRON'S KITCHEN HERE IN L.A. 585 00:30:19,017 --> 00:30:23,220 IT'S THE SAME THING I BROUGHT OPRAH. 586 00:30:23,222 --> 00:30:26,557 YOU'RE IN THE SAME TEST BUCKET. [ LAUGHTER ] 587 00:30:26,559 --> 00:30:27,625 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: I LIKE ANY CONNECTION 588 00:30:27,627 --> 00:30:29,025 I HAVE TO OPRAH. DID OPRAH LOVE IT TOO? 589 00:30:29,095 --> 00:30:35,031 >> SHE WAS -- OKAY. SO WHEN WE PITCHED THE SHOW -- 590 00:30:35,101 --> 00:30:39,036 SHE DOES LOVE JELA FRIES BUT SHE WASN'T THERE, SHE WAS TELECASTED 591 00:30:39,105 --> 00:30:41,238 INTO OUR MEETING. SHE WAS UPSET, LIKE YOU BROUGHT 592 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,840 ME FOOD? I DON'T KNOW WHY, THAT WAS MY 593 00:30:43,910 --> 00:30:44,441 OPRAH IMPRESSION. [ LAUGHTER ] 594 00:30:44,510 --> 00:30:48,378 SORRY. YOU BROUGHT ME FOOD? 595 00:30:48,447 --> 00:30:59,189 LIKE DAVID WAS THERE, DAVID EP ON MY SHOW. 596 00:30:59,258 --> 00:31:01,125 "SORRY, OPRAH, I'M TAKING IT HOME TO EAT." 597 00:31:01,127 --> 00:31:05,796 >> Jimmy: OH, NO, DAVID CAN'T TAKE OPRAH'S FOOD FOR HIMSELF, A 598 00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:08,199 LIGHTNING BOLT COULD HIT HIM. >> IT DID, IT DID. 599 00:31:08,201 --> 00:31:09,200 >> Jimmy: VERY SOLID. >> WE STILL MADE IT. 600 00:31:09,268 --> 00:31:12,469 >> Jimmy: YOU WRITE ABOUT YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR MOM. 601 00:31:12,471 --> 00:31:17,207 HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU GUYS CAME HERE TO THE UNITED STATES? 602 00:31:17,276 --> 00:31:18,609 >> 6 YEARS OLD. >> Jimmy: 6 YEARS OLD? 603 00:31:18,677 --> 00:31:21,211 YOUR MOTHER NEVER LETS YOU FORGET THAT? 604 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:25,483 >> SHE NEVER DOES. HER FAVORITE THING TO SAY WAS, 605 00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:26,816 "THAT'S NOT WHY I CAME TO THIS COUNTRY." 606 00:31:26,886 --> 00:31:30,554 LIKE IF I GOT A "B" ON MY REPORT CARD, "A B, NO, NO, THAT IS NOT 607 00:31:30,623 --> 00:31:37,227 THE REASON I CAME TO AMERICA." WHAT WAS THE REASON, MOM? 608 00:31:37,296 --> 00:31:39,095 I'M DOING MY BEST, I HATE CHEMISTRY. 609 00:31:39,165 --> 00:31:42,232 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU ALSO SAID THAT, 610 00:31:42,301 --> 00:31:44,969 AND CORRECT ME IF I HAVE THIS WRONG, I DON'T WANT TO GET IT 611 00:31:45,037 --> 00:31:46,303 WRONG. YOU SAID NIGERIAENS ARE THE 612 00:31:46,372 --> 00:31:48,972 RUDEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD? >> WE ARE THE RUDEST PEOPLE YOU 613 00:31:49,041 --> 00:31:51,442 WILL EVER, EVER MEET. I CAN SAY THAT BECAUSE I'M ONE 614 00:31:51,444 --> 00:31:53,577 OF THEM. >> Jimmy: UH-HUH? 615 00:31:53,579 --> 00:31:55,445 >> I'M NOT RUDE, BUT LIKE, WE JUST WILL DISMANTLE YOUR SOUL. 616 00:31:55,514 --> 00:32:03,053 [ LAUGHTER ] JIMMY, YOU HAVE NOT LIVED UNTIL 617 00:32:03,055 --> 00:32:05,523 A NIGERIAN CALLS YOU "A FOOLISH GOAT." 618 00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:07,591 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: A FOOLISH GOAT? 619 00:32:07,593 --> 00:32:09,059 >> WHY ARE YOU BEING COMPARED TO THIS? 620 00:32:09,127 --> 00:32:13,597 "LOOK AT YOU, YOU IMBECILE." >> Jimmy: THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO 621 00:32:13,599 --> 00:32:15,266 LIKE YOU? >> THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO LIKE 622 00:32:15,334 --> 00:32:17,067 YOU. EVEN WHEN WE GIVE COMPLIMENTS, 623 00:32:17,135 --> 00:32:20,070 "AH, JIMMY, YOUR TIE, IT'S OKAY, YOU KNOW, IT'S OKAY." 624 00:32:20,139 --> 00:32:24,141 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT REALLY MEANS, "I REALLY 625 00:32:24,209 --> 00:32:26,876 WANT YOUR TIE, TELL ME WHERE YOU GOT IT FROM." 626 00:32:26,946 --> 00:32:29,613 >> Jimmy: DO YOU THINK THAT'S WHY YOU GOT INTO SHOW BUSINESS? 627 00:32:29,615 --> 00:32:30,814 [ LAUGHTER ] SOME KIND OF AFFIRMATION? 628 00:32:30,882 --> 00:32:35,686 >> YES, BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING AN EXEC CAN SAY TO ME WORSE THAN 629 00:32:35,754 --> 00:32:41,692 WHAT MY FAMILY'S SAID TO ME. OH, I'M NEVER GOING TO MAKE 630 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,695 ISN'T IT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BELIEVING IN ME! 631 00:32:44,697 --> 00:32:45,896 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HAS YOUR FAMILY, MOM, 632 00:32:45,964 --> 00:32:47,163 READ THE BOOK? >> THEY HAVE NOT. 633 00:32:47,233 --> 00:32:51,301 MY SISTER-IN-LAW HAS, TO WHICH SHE'S LIKE, "I'M LEARNING SO 634 00:32:51,370 --> 00:32:54,038 MUCH ABOUT YOUR FAMILY." >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, RIGHT. 635 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,239 >> GIRL, YOU STAY. YOU'RE IT. 636 00:32:56,309 --> 00:32:59,109 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DON'T WANT TO RUN YOUR SISTER-IN-LAW OFF. 637 00:32:59,177 --> 00:33:00,510 >> NO. BUT LIKE MY MOM, THOUGH, HAS 638 00:33:00,579 --> 00:33:05,049 BEEN SUPPORTING ME THROUGH WHATSAPP SO SHE'S LIKE FORWARDED 639 00:33:05,117 --> 00:33:07,517 THE PREORDER LINK TO ALL THE AUNTS AND UNCLES. 640 00:33:07,586 --> 00:33:09,253 >> Jimmy: OH, SHE HAS. >> WHICH IS GREAT. 641 00:33:09,255 --> 00:33:12,589 BY THE WAY, AT FIRST I WAS LIKE, WHAT IS SHE COG? 642 00:33:12,591 --> 00:33:15,192 WHY DID I GETTING THESE RANDOM MESSAGES? 643 00:33:15,261 --> 00:33:18,996 OH, THEY PREORDERED? KEEP AT IT, MOM, TURN IT UP, 644 00:33:19,064 --> 00:33:20,731 YES, PIMP ME OUT. >> Jimmy: THE TITLE I THINK 645 00:33:20,799 --> 00:33:23,801 WOULD GIVE PEOPLE THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU'RE KIND OF FLIP ABOUT 646 00:33:23,803 --> 00:33:26,737 CHRISTIANITY, BUT YOU'RE NOT, YOU'RE A RELIGIOUS PERSON. 647 00:33:26,739 --> 00:33:28,672 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YOU ARE SAVING YOUR 648 00:33:28,741 --> 00:33:30,674 VIRGINITY FOR MARRIAGE, WHICH IS UNUSUAL. 649 00:33:30,743 --> 00:33:32,676 >> WHERE IS HE? HURRY UP! 650 00:33:32,745 --> 00:33:35,478 HEY, HEY! WHEREVER YOU ARE, HURRY, OKAY? 651 00:33:35,548 --> 00:33:36,613 PLEASE. CALL ME. 652 00:33:36,615 --> 00:33:41,552 >> Jimmy: ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR LAST NAME IS "ORJI." 653 00:33:41,554 --> 00:33:43,887 [ LAUGHTER ] >> I MEAN -- GOD HAS A SENSE OF 654 00:33:43,956 --> 00:33:45,755 HUMOR, I WILL SAY THAT. >> Jimmy: IT SEEMS SO. 655 00:33:45,825 --> 00:33:47,491 >> YEAH. THIS IS HOW HE TRICKED ME INTO 656 00:33:47,559 --> 00:33:50,094 THE LIFE OF MY DREAMS. >> Jimmy: CAN I ASK YOU A 657 00:33:50,096 --> 00:33:51,428 SERIOUS QUESTION? WHEN YOU SAY HURRY UP, WE'RE 658 00:33:51,496 --> 00:33:54,231 JOKING, BUT DO YOU FIND IT BECOMES MORE DIFFICULT AS THE 659 00:33:54,299 --> 00:33:57,500 YEARS GO BY? OR DOES IT GET LESS DIFFICULT AS 660 00:33:57,570 --> 00:34:00,170 THE YEARS GO BY? >> I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW. 661 00:34:00,239 --> 00:34:01,171 BECAUSE THIS IS THE LAST YEAR. [ LAUGHTER ] 662 00:34:01,239 --> 00:34:07,510 WHEREVER YOU ARE? HURRY! 663 00:34:07,580 --> 00:34:08,579 >> Jimmy: WE'RE TALKING CALENDAR YEAR? 664 00:34:08,647 --> 00:34:12,383 >> DECEMBER 2nd IS MY DEADLINE. >> Jimmy: DECEMBER 2nd? 665 00:34:12,385 --> 00:34:14,184 YOU'RE NOT EVEN GIVING IT THE WHOLE YEAR? 666 00:34:14,253 --> 00:34:17,721 >> WE'VE BEEN IN COVID FOR A LONG TIME, THOSE ARE DOG YEARS, 667 00:34:17,789 --> 00:34:18,789 OKAY? >> Jimmy: WE'LL FIND SOMEBODY 668 00:34:18,791 --> 00:34:21,992 GOOD FOR YOU. NOT AS GOOD AS JESUS. 669 00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:24,394 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YOU COMPARE JESUS TO 670 00:34:24,463 --> 00:34:27,064 ASHTON CUFFER IN THE BOOK. >> I DO. 671 00:34:27,066 --> 00:34:28,732 >> Jimmy: HOW DO THEY RELATE TO EACH OTHER? 672 00:34:28,801 --> 00:34:31,134 >> I TALK ABOUT HOW THESE THE PRANKSTER. 673 00:34:31,203 --> 00:34:35,205 ASHTON HAD "PUNK'D." JESUS, SOMETIMES HE PUNKS YOU. 674 00:34:35,273 --> 00:34:38,141 BUT WHEN THE WHITE VAN COMES OUT, IT'S FOR GOOD. 675 00:34:38,210 --> 00:34:40,811 YOU GET THE LAST LAUGH. >> Jimmy: THAT GUY WITH THE 676 00:34:40,879 --> 00:34:42,546 BEARD AND THE LONG HAIR AND THE WHITE VAN? 677 00:34:42,614 --> 00:34:43,447 THAT ISN'T JESUS. [ LAUGHTER ] 678 00:34:43,515 --> 00:34:47,418 BE CAREFUL, DON'T GET IN IT WITH HIM. 679 00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:50,754 >> NO. JESUS, DREADLOCKS, I DON'T KNOW, 680 00:34:50,823 --> 00:34:53,023 I HAVE NO IDEA. NO, BECAUSE IT'S KIND OF THE 681 00:34:53,092 --> 00:34:55,759 SAME KIND OF SENTIMENT. LIKE, HE TELLS YOU TO DO 682 00:34:55,761 --> 00:34:58,161 SOMETHING, YOU'RE LIKE, FAM, THIS IS NOT IT. 683 00:34:58,230 --> 00:34:59,696 ALSO, THAT'S HOW I TALK ABOUT JESUS. 684 00:34:59,765 --> 00:35:03,367 FAM WHAT ARE WE DOING, SON? >> Jimmy: I FEEL THAT'S THE KIND 685 00:35:03,369 --> 00:35:05,502 OF RELATIONSHIP JESUS WOULD WANT TO HAVE, RIGHT? 686 00:35:05,570 --> 00:35:11,241 >> IT'S THE ONLY ONE I KNOW. HE LIKES DMX, REST IN PEACE. 687 00:35:11,243 --> 00:35:14,110 I LIKE DMX. IT WORKS, OKAY? 688 00:35:14,180 --> 00:35:16,179 [ LAUGHTER ] THERE'S A LOT OF POP CULTURE AS 689 00:35:16,248 --> 00:35:18,315 WELL AS BIBLICAL REFERENCES IN THE BIBLE. 690 00:35:18,383 --> 00:35:25,322 WHAT OTHER BOOK ARE YOU GOING TO GET CARDI B, NATE DOGG, AND YOU 691 00:35:25,391 --> 00:35:26,590 KNOW, LUKE 124? [ LAUGHTER ] 692 00:35:26,658 --> 00:35:30,794 >> Jimmy: NOT THAT MANY OF THEM. YOU WERE GOING TO SAY LUKE 693 00:35:30,863 --> 00:35:32,529 SKYWALKER? I GUESS NOT. 694 00:35:32,598 --> 00:35:34,731 LUTHER CAMPBELL. THE BOOK IS CALLED "BAMBOOZLED 695 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,268 BY JESUS," IT COMES OUT TUESDAY. PREORDER RIGHT NOW. 696 00:35:38,337 --> 00:35:43,207 IF YOU'RE ON THE WHATSAPP. IF YOU'RE ON YVONNE'S MOM'S 697 00:35:43,275 --> 00:35:44,274 WHATSAPP, YOU KNOW ABOUT IT ALREADY. 698 00:35:44,343 --> 00:35:45,875 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, GREAT TO 699 00:35:45,945 --> 00:35:47,210 SEE YOU. >> THANK YOU. 700 00:35:47,279 --> 00:35:48,946 >> Jimmy: YVONNE ORJI, EVERYBODY! 701 00:35:49,047 --> 00:35:51,047 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] BE BACK WITH COUNTING CROWS. 702 00:35:54,620 --> 00:35:57,487 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Dicky: THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE 703 00:35:57,556 --> 00:35:59,289 CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES-BENZ. 704 00:35:59,291 --> 00:36:01,558 THE BEST OR NOTHING. >> Jimmy: NOW IT'S MUSIC TIME. 705 00:36:01,626 --> 00:36:03,626 THEIR NEWEST "BUTTER MIRACLE, SUITE ONE" COMES OUT TOMORROW 706 00:36:03,696 --> 00:36:07,764 WITH THE SONG "ELEVATOR BOOTS, COUNTING CROWS! 707 00:36:12,104 --> 00:36:18,041 ♪ ♪ 708 00:36:18,110 --> 00:36:21,377 ♪ BOBBY WAS A KID FROM ROUND THE TOWN 709 00:36:21,447 --> 00:36:23,780 KICKS PUMPED UP AND HEAD HELD DOWN ♪ 710 00:36:23,849 --> 00:36:30,320 ♪ UNDERWATER MORE THAN HE WAS UP 711 00:36:30,389 --> 00:36:32,122 HE DREAMED SUBMARINES IN BOTTLE GREEN ♪ 712 00:36:32,124 --> 00:36:36,660 ♪ IMAGINARY FLIGHT MACHINES BUT IN BLUE JEAN FLARES 713 00:36:36,662 --> 00:36:43,933 HE BUBBLED LIKE A 7UP EVERYBODY WANTS ♪ 714 00:36:44,003 --> 00:36:45,869 ♪ TO KNOW YOU WHEN YOU'RE THE 715 00:36:45,871 --> 00:36:50,741 ONLY ONE TO KNOW SHOOT IT TILL YOU ♪ 716 00:36:50,809 --> 00:36:53,210 ♪ FEEL ALIVE THEN PLAY ONE MORE SHOW 717 00:36:53,278 --> 00:36:54,945 PLUG INTO THE BUZZ AND SHAKE IT 'TIL ♪ 718 00:36:54,947 --> 00:36:57,280 ♪ IT TURNS AROUND AND YOU CAN'T STOP FEELING 719 00:36:57,349 --> 00:37:01,084 THE PAUL SMITH SUITS AND THE ELEVATOR BOOTS ASTOUND ♪ 720 00:37:01,152 --> 00:37:08,225 ♪ AND YOU CAN'T HELP HEALING IT WANTS YOU AND YOU WANT TO ♪ 721 00:37:08,293 --> 00:37:11,294 ♪ WITH THEIR LIPS ON FIRE AND YOUR HEAD UNSCREWED ♪ 722 00:37:11,363 --> 00:37:13,162 ♪ BUT IT'S TIME TO WHIP ANOTHER CHANGE AND 723 00:37:13,232 --> 00:37:18,435 HIT ONE MORE TOWN BOBBY DOESN'T 724 00:37:18,503 --> 00:37:23,307 KNOW HER NAME ♪ ♪ HE HOLDS ON TIGHTLY 725 00:37:23,375 --> 00:37:24,641 JUST THE SAME SOMETIMES ONE MORE 726 00:37:24,710 --> 00:37:30,981 NIGHT IS ALL YOU NEED ♪ ♪ I MET ALICE 727 00:37:31,049 --> 00:37:34,250 NEAR THE ALAMO ONE SUMMER IN SAN ANTONIO 728 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:39,923 I REMEMBER HER ♪ ♪ I DON'T REMEMBER ME 729 00:37:39,991 --> 00:37:42,726 EVERYBODY WANTS TO KNOW YOU 730 00:37:42,794 --> 00:37:45,862 WHEN YOU'RE THE ♪ ♪ ONLY ONE TO KNOW 731 00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:53,736 ANYTHING TO FEEL ALIVE AND DO ONE MORE SHOW 732 00:37:53,806 --> 00:37:54,871 PLUG INTO THE BUZZ AND ♪ ♪ SHAKE IT 'TIL 733 00:37:54,873 --> 00:37:57,541 IT TURNS AROUND AND YOU CAN'T STOP FEELING 734 00:37:57,543 --> 00:38:01,612 THE PAUL SMITH SUITS AND ♪ ♪ THE ELEVATOR BOOTS ASTOUND 735 00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,547 AND YOU CAN'T HELP HEALING THEY WANT YOU 736 00:38:04,617 --> 00:38:07,084 AND YOU WANT TO ♪ ♪ WITH THEIR HIPS ON 737 00:38:07,152 --> 00:38:10,286 FIRE AND YOUR HEAD UNGLUED TIL IT'S TIME TO WHIP ANOTHER 738 00:38:10,356 --> 00:38:14,557 CHANGE AND HIT ♪ ♪ ONE MORE TOWN 739 00:38:14,627 --> 00:38:16,826 ALICE KNOWS THE SECRET AND SHE COULD 740 00:38:16,895 --> 00:38:23,834 TELL YOU NOW ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANT TO 741 00:38:23,836 --> 00:38:34,644 CUZ THEY WANT YOU DO YOU WANT TO 742 00:38:34,713 --> 00:38:36,580 I SHAKE AND SPARKLE ♪ ♪ PANT AND GLIDE 743 00:38:36,648 --> 00:38:39,182 BUT IT'S HARD TO FEEL AND I CAN'T GET HIGH 744 00:38:39,250 --> 00:38:43,053 AND I DON'T ALWAYS ♪ ♪ UNDERSTAND HOW TO SMILE 745 00:38:43,055 --> 00:38:45,455 KIDS GET SICK OF BEIN' BOTTLED UP 746 00:38:45,523 --> 00:38:49,526 IT DRAGS YOU DOWN ♪ ♪ TILL YOU THROW IT UP 747 00:38:49,595 --> 00:38:51,929 GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND TAKE A RIDE 748 00:38:51,997 --> 00:38:55,532 ON THE RADIO DIAL ♪ ♪ EVERYBODY WANTS 749 00:38:55,601 --> 00:38:57,800 TO KNOW YOU WHEN YOU'RE THE 750 00:38:57,870 --> 00:39:02,873 ONLY ONE TO KNOW ♪ ♪ EVERYTHING THAT FEELS 751 00:39:02,941 --> 00:39:08,411 ALIVE IS IN ONE MORE SHOW PLUG INTO THE BUZZ AND 752 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:09,680 SHAKE IT 'TIL ♪ ♪ IT TURNS AROUND 753 00:39:09,748 --> 00:39:13,350 AND YOU CAN'T STOP FEELING THE PAUL SMITH SUITS AND 754 00:39:13,418 --> 00:39:17,421 THE ELEVATOR BOOTS ASTOUND ♪ ♪ AND YOU CAN'T HELP HEALING 755 00:39:17,489 --> 00:39:25,629 THEY WANT YOU AND YOU WANT TO CUZ THE KID'S SO CLEAN 756 00:39:25,697 --> 00:39:26,429 WITH HIS SOUL SHAMPOOED ♪ ♪ AND IT'S TIME TO WHIP 757 00:39:26,498 --> 00:39:28,965 ANOTHER CHANGE AND HIT ONE MORE TOWN 758 00:39:28,967 --> 00:39:30,500 YEAH IT'S TIME TO WHIP ♪ ♪ ANOTHER CHANGE AND 759 00:39:30,569 --> 00:39:37,907 HIT ONE MORE TOWN ♪ ♪ HAYMAN IT'S TIME TO WHIP 760 00:39:37,976 --> 00:39:46,249 ANOTHER CHANGE AND HIT ONE MORE TOWN ♪ 761 00:39:46,318 --> 00:39:51,588 ♪ OH YEAH NOW ♪ 762 00:40:02,067 --> 00:40:04,534 >> YES! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 763 00:40:04,603 --> 00:40:06,269 >> Dicky: THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY 764 00:40:06,338 --> 00:40:07,937 MERCEDES-BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 765 00:40:14,079 --> 00:40:18,748 >> Jimmy: THANKS TO RYAN SEACREST, YVONNE ORJI, COUNTING 766 00:40:18,817 --> 00:40:20,416 CROWS. THANKS TO CHELSEA AND CALEB. 767 00:40:20,486 --> 00:40:21,084 >> THANK YOU! >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS TO 768 00:40:21,153 --> 00:40:24,087 YOU. APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. 769 00:40:24,155 --> 00:40:27,424 WE DID RUN OUT OF TIME FOR HIM. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. 770 00:40:27,426 --> 00:40:53,183 THANKS FOR WATCHING. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.