>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE."
TONIGHT, GABRIELE UNION, DWYANE WADE, MUSIC FROM ROYAL BLOOD,
AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
>> Jimmy: HI, THANK YOU, HI, I'M JIMMY. I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. WE HAD AN ACCIDENT OVER HERE.
THANK YOU FOR JOINING US HERE IN SUNNY SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA WHERE
WE ARE STILL MASKING NO MATTER WHAT THE CDC SAYS,
AND WILL APPARENTLY CONTINUE TO DO SO FOR ANOTHER MONTH.
THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA SAID THEY'RE NOT LIFTING THE MASK
MANDATE IN STORES AND PUBLIC PLACES UNTIL JUNE 15th.
WHICH WILL BE KNOWN AS "PLEASE STOP SCREAMING AT THE ASSISTANT
MANAGER DAY." ALL OVER TOWN. THE RULES ARE A LITTLE
CONFUSING, SO LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO LIVE
OR PLAN TO VISIT HERE. IF YOU'RE VACCINATED, AND YOU'RE
INDOORS, YOU DON'T NEED TO WEAR A MASK, BUT YOU DO HAVE TO WEAR
A MASK UNTIL JUNE 15th. AT WHICH POINT YOU DON'T HAVE TO
WEAR A MASK, UNLESS YOU WANT TO. THAT IS, IF YOU'RE VACCINATED.
UNLESS YOU'RE ON A PLANE, TRAIN, OR BUS, IN WHICH CASE YOU BOTH
NEED TO AND HAVE TO WEAR A MASK. VACCINATED OR NOT. GET IT?
GUILLERMO, REPEAT THAT BACK. GO AHEAD.
>> Guillermo: UH, JUST WEAR A
[ BLEEP ] MASK.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: ONE OF THE MORE UNEXPECTED AND INTERESTING SIDE
EFFECTS OF THE PAST 14 MONTHS IS THAT MANY PEOPLE HAVE FORGOTTEN
HOW TO DRIVE. DURING THE PANDEMIC.
THEY SAY PEOPLE ARE HAVING TROUBLE REMEMBERING ROUTES THEY
TOOK REGULARLY AND ARE JUST IN GENERAL HAVING DIFFICULTY
OPERATING THEIR CARS. WHICH IS A SHAME BECAUSE PEOPLE
IN L. A. WERE SUCH GREAT DRIVERS BEFORE THE PANDEMIC.
YOU HATE TO SEE THOSE SKILLS ERODE.
BASICALLY, WE'RE A WHOLE COUNTRY OF MEADOW SOPRANOS TRYING TO
PARALLEL PARK OUTSIDE THE DINER.
MEANWHILE IN LAS VEGAS, IF YOU HAVEN'T RECEIVED YOUR
VACCINATION YET, THERE'S A NEW POP‐UP SITE OPENING THIS WEEKEND
IN WHAT EVEN IN VEGAS IS AN UNUSUAL SPOT.
>> LARRY FLYNT'S HUSTLER CLUB
ARE GIVING OUT THE VACCINE.
>> Jimmy: NO. HONEY, WHAT? I WAS GETTING MY VACCINE!
WHAT A YEAR THIS IS, 2021. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THE HUSTLER
CLUB TO NOT GET A VIRUS. WE ARE STILL UNDER 50% IN THIS
COUNTRY WHEN IT COMES TO PEOPLE WHO'VE HAD AT LEAST ONE SHOT.
CANADA IS ABOUT TO PASS US, PERCENTAGE‐WISE AND THAT'S
BECAUSE A LOT OF AMERICANS ARE ‐‐ WHAT'S THE WORD I'M
LOOKING FOR? CRAZY. WE HAVE A LOT OF CRAZY PEOPLE
HERE. THE NEW LINE OF LUNACY FROM ANTI‐VAX NATION IS CALLED "THE
MAGNET CHALLENGE." HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS?
A NUMBER OF THICK‐ARMED CONSPIRACY THEORISTS HAVE TAKEN
TO SOCIAL MEDIA TO CLAIM THAT SINCE THEY GOT VACCINATED THEIR
ARM NOW HAS MAGNETIC PROPERTIES. PRESUMABLY BECAUSE OF THE
MICROCHIP THAT WAS IMPLANTED WHEN THEY GOT THE SHOT.
>> AND THERE IT IS.
>> COME CLOSER.
>> THAT'S WHERE I GOT THE SHOT. AND HERE'S THE MAGNET ON THE ARM
I DIDN'T GET THE SHOT. YOU GO FIGURE IT OUT.
YOU'RE CHIPPED. WE'RE ALL [ BLEEP ].
>> Jimmy: WELL, YOUR KIDS DEFINITELY ARE.
WHAT MAKES THESE PEOPLE THAT ANYONE IS INTERESTED ENOUGH IN
THEM TO TRACK THEM? WHERE COULD THIS WOMAN POSSIBLY
BE GOING? "SHE JUST LEFT WALMART AND SHE'S
EN ROUTE TO JOANN FABRIC." HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
THERE'S OTHER PEOPLE CLAIMING THIS.
>> IF YOU WANT TO TEST AND
CHALLENGE, DO THE MAGNET CHALLENGE, THEY GOT THE MAGNETS
RIGHT HERE.
>> Jimmy: AT LEAST HE'S PROMOTING A LOCAL BUSINESS.
AS HE BATTLES COVACK‐19. THIS GUY TRIED A NUMBER OF
MAGNETIC EXPERIMENTS ON HIMSELF AND ALL OF THEM LED TO ONLY ONE
CONCEIVABLE CONCLUSION.
>> RIGHT WHERE I GOT MY SHOT. CAN'T MAKE THIS UP.
THIS IS A STUD FINDER.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, AND IT FOUND A STUD RIGHT THERE.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I DEFINITELY BELIEVE THE GUY WITH
40 BOTTLES OF LYSOL ON HIS SHELF.
HE NOT ONLY PROVE TD WD IT WITH
MAGNET AND STUD FINDER, HE PROVE TD WITH A COMPASS, TOO.
>> Y'ALL SEEN THAT MOVE.
>> Jimmy: WE DID? I'M WATCHING THIS GUY, WHOSE
NAME, BY THE WAY, IS ROBERT, AND IN ONE OF THE CLIPS HE POSTED,
IN THE BACKGROUND YOU CAN HEAR OUR SHOW.
HE WAS WATCHING OUR SHOW WHILE DOING THESE EXPERIMENTS,
WHICH, ROBERT, IF YOU'RE WATCHING RIGHT NOW, FIRST OF
ALL, I WANT YOU TO KNOW ‐‐ I'M ALSO WATCHING YOU.
I HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR YEARS. I SEE EVERYTHING YOU DO.
I PUT MAGNETS NOT ONLY IN YOUR ARMS.
YOUR WHOLE BODY IS FILLED WITH THEM.
FROM YOUR EARS ALL THE WAY DOWN TO YOUR FEET.
AND WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, I WILL SUMMON YOU.
YOU WILL BE LIFTED UP TO OUR HOME PLANET, COVACK‐19.
WHERE WE WILL LIVE OUT OUR DAYS MAGNETIZED TO EACH OTHER.
WELL, IF HE WASN'T OUT OF HIS
MIND BEFORE, HE IS NOW.
[ APPLAUSE ]
IN NEW YORK TODAY, ANDREW GIULIANI, SON OF
SHELLACULA, OFFICIALLY ENTERED THE RACE FOR GOVERNOR.
>> GO AHEAD. MAKE THE ANNOUNCEMENT.
>> WELL, I'M SEEKING CANDIDACY FOR THE 57th GOVERNOR OF NEW
YORK. I THINK IT'S TIME THAT NEW YORK
GET TURNED AROUND. I'M SICK AND TIRED OF SEEING NEW
TEXAS, TO TENNESSEE. RIDA, TO ‐ AND I'M GOING TO DO EVERYTHING
IN MY POWER TO MAKE SURE NEW YORK IS NOT JUST THE CULTURAL
CENTER OF THE WORLD AGAIN BUT THE ECONOMIC CENTER OF THE WORLD.
>> Jimmy: HE WANTS TO STOP NEW YORKERS FROM MOVING TO FLORIDA,
LIKE DONALD TRUMP, WHO MOVED TO FLORIDA.
ANDREW GIULIANI, IF YOU DON'T KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT HIM, IS A
FORMER PROFESSIONAL GOLFER, WHICH IS GOOD.
THAT WAY WHEN HE GETS THE LOWEST NUMBER OF VOTES, HE'LL THINK HE
WON. ANDREW DOESN'T HAVE MUCH EXPERIENCE IN ANYTHING BUT, AS
HE TOLD THE "NEW YORK POST," "I'M POLITICIAN OUT OF THE WOMB.
IT'S IN MY DNA." RIGHT. OF COURSE, THAT MEANS THIS IS
ALSO IN YOUR DNA.
GOOD OLD JACK THE DRIPPER. ANYWAY, IF YOU'D LIKE TO
VOLUNTEER TO WORK ON ANDREW GIULIANI'S CAMPAIGN,
PLEASE CALL HIS DAD'S BUTT. SOMETIME VERY SOON.
YOU KNOW, THE NBA PLAYOFFS ABOUT TO START AND THE BROOKLYN
NETS THE FAVORITE TO WIN, NEW YORK MAYOR BILL DeBLASIO,
FOR SOME REASON, SHOWED UP TO HIS DAILY PRESS CONFERENCE
DRESSED LIKE THIS. I THINK THE ONLY EXPLANATION FOR
THAT IS IT WAS DONE AS A JOKE BY HIS STAFF, WHO HATES HIM VERY
MUCH. TWITTER IS EXPLORING THE POSSIBILITY OF OFFERING A
SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE. THAT WOULD BE CALLED "TWITTER
BLUE." AND IT WOULD COST $2.99 A MONTH.
IN OTHER WORDS, NOW YOU CAN GET ABUSED AND PAY FOR IT.
THEY SHOULD CALL IT "TWITTER: DOMINATRIX."
BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT IT IS. THE BIG STORY HERE IN HOLLYWOOD
TODAY IS THAT AMAZON IS REPORTEDLY IN TALKS TO BUY MGM.
YOU KNOW THE MOVIE STUDIO WITH THE LION?
AMAZON IS THINKING ABOUT BUYING IT.
WHICH SHOULDN'T BE A SURPRISE. AMAZON IS IN TALKS TO BUY
EVERYTHING. IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE YOU'LL
SAY, "WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MY COUSIN TIM?
OH, AMAZON BOUGHT HIM?" MGM HAS A LOT OF PROPERTIES ‐‐
THE HOBBIT, THE ROCKY MOVIES, JAMES BOND.
IF THE DEAL GOES THROUGH, JEFF BEZOS WOULD OWN JAMES BOND.
HOW COME NONE OF THE OTHER VILLAINS EVER THOUGHT OF THAT?
THE DEAL IS SAID TO BE WORTH NINE BILLION DOLLARS‐ WHICH,
AFTER TAXES WORKS OUT TO AROUND NINE BILLION DOLLARS.
FOR JEFF BEZOS. ANY ANYWAY, I WISH THEM A LOT OF
LUCK. THE PLAN IS FOR AMAZON TO SLITHER DOWN FROM AN OVERHEAD
TREE, WRAP ITSELF TIGHTLY AROUND MGM AND SQUEEZE, AND THEN IN
PHASE TWO, IT WILL STRETCH ITS JAWS VERY WIDE AND SWALLOW MGM
WHOLE.
YESTERDAY, YOU REMEMBER IT'S TAX DAY YESTERDAY, RIGHT, GUILLERMO?
>> YEAH, YEAH, I DID, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT DOESN'T SOUND CONVINCING.
>> YEAH, I DID MY TAXES.
>> Jimmy: THE IRS PUSHED THE
DEADLINE BACK A MONTH THIS YEAR. AND ONE OF OUR WRITERS,
GARY GREENBERG, ASKED ME FOR A FAVOR.
GARY BUYS A TON OF WEIRD CRAP ON EAY.
THINGS NO PERSON IN HIS RIGHT MIND WOULD EVER WANT.
BUT HE BUYS IT BECAUSE HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY, AND THEN WHEN TAX
TIME COMES, HE TRIES TO CLAIM ALL HIS GARBAGE AS A BUSINESS
EXPENSE. THIS YEAR HE HAD A FEW ITEMS HE
WASN'T SURE IF HE COULD CLAIM, SO HE ASKED IF HE COULD PUT THEM
ON THE SHOW TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE DEDUCTIBLE.
SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE, GARY, LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK.
>> THANKS JIMMY. I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS.
FIRST, I HAVE A JOE CAMEL VENTRILOQUIST PUPPET.
IN THE COMEDY BUSINESS, YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU WILL NEED
ONE OF THESE. NEXT, WE HAVE A MANICURIST
TRAINING HAND.
IT'S GOT REMOVABLE NAILS. IT'S ALSO GOOD FOR SOCIAL
DISTANCE HAND SHAKES. I WANT TO WRITE OFF A FEW RECORD
ALBUMS, "VIVA LES CREPES," ALL ABOUT THE ART OF CREPE‐MAKING,
"HOW TO MAKE YOUR TEENS TERRIFIC," AND "HOW TO GET YOUR
TEEN A SUMMER JOB." TWO ALBUMS THAT WILL REALLY HELP
MAKE YOUR KID HATE YOUR GUTS. AND THIS IS "LEARN TO SKI."
THEY SAY THE BEST WAY TO LEARN
TO SKI IS BY LISTENING TO A RECORD.
"WIFE SWAPPING SWINGERS ORGY PORGY PARTY."
AND THIS THREE‐HEADED DOLL, WHO I AM CLAIMING AS A DEPENDENT.
WHICH HAS HAPPY FACE, SLEEPY FACE AND DRUNK FACE.
>> Jimmy: THREE DEPENDENTS, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
WHAT ABOUT THAT SWEATER?
>> OH. THIS IS JUST WHAT I WORE TO WORK.
>> Jimmy: DEDUCTIBLE OR NOT, IT WAS MONEY WELL‐SPENT.
BECAUSE OF COVID, THE IRS IS SAID TO BE RUNNING WAY BEHIND ON
TAX RETURNS THIS YEAR, WHICH MEANS THOUSANDS OF AMERICANS
COULD BE WAITING A WHILE FOR THEIR REFUND CHECKS.
SO TO HELP BRIDGE THAT GAP, TONIGHT WE'RE GIVING PEDESTRIANS
A CHANCE TO WIN COLD HARD CASH. IT'S TIME TO PLAY, "ON THE
MONEY!" THIS IS A FUN GAME. LET'S GO OUT TO HOLLYWOOD
BOULEVARD TO MEET OUR FIRST CONTESTANT.
HI, WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
>> HI, MY NAME IS SIERRA WARD.
>> Jimmy: OH, IT SAYS THAT RIGHT ON YOUR THING.
THERE'S A WEED BUS GOING BY. SO WHERE ARE YOU FROM, SIERRA?
>> I'M FROM SOUTH DAKOTA.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE FROM THE UNITED STATES. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK?
>> I'M A STUDENT, ACTUALLY.
>> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU STUDYING?
>> BIOCHEMISTRY.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU KNOW MUCH ABOUT ECONOMICS, MONEY, ET CETERA?
>> NOT REALLY, I'M PRETTY BAD.
>> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT CURRENCY,
U.S. CURRENCY. IF YOU ANSWER CORRECTLY, YOU WIN
THAT CURRENCY. IF YOU ARE INCORRECT YOU LOSE.
LET'S START WITH THE PENNY. WHO IS ON THE PENNY?
>> OH. ABRAHAM LINCOLN?
>> Jimmy: THAT IS CORRECT. ALL RIGHT. YOU HAVE A PENNY.
DID YOU WANT TO KEEP THAT PENNY? DO YOU WANT TO WALK AWAY?
DO YOU WANT TO RISK IT?
>> I'LL RISK IT.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WHO IS ON THE NICKEL?
>> NICKEL. YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHY I RISKED
THIS. I SHOULD HAVE JUST TAKEN THE
PENNY, BUT, LET'S GO WITH, OH, I
KNOW IT'S NOT BENJAMIN FRANKLIN. THAT'S $100.
UM, GEORGE WASHINGTON.
>> Jimmy: OH, I'M SO SORRY, SIERRA, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO
GIVE THAT PENNY BACK, ALSO.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: SO SORRY, BUT THANK YOU FOR PLAYING "ON THE MONEY."
WOW, TO SEE SOMEBODY GO OUT THAT EARLY.
LET'S SEE IF WE HAVE ANOTHER CONTESTANT HERE AND SEE IF THEY
CAN WIN SOME OF THE BIG MONEY. HELLO THERE, WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
>> MY NAME IS SACARE YEAH HILL.
>> Jimmy: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
>> DES MOINES, IOWA IF YOU'VE HEARD OF IT.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU HERE ON BUSINESS?
>> I'M HERE ON BUSINESS. I'M TRYING TO FIND A JOB.
>> Jimmy: WHAT KIND OF JOB ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
>> SOMETHING IN TECH. BUT I ALSO RUN A NON‐PROFIT AND
TRYING TO BRANCH OUT.
>> Jimmy: VERY GOOD. ARE YOU READY TO PLAY "ON THE
MONEY? ".
>> GENTLEMEN, LET'S DO IT.
>> Jimmy: WHO'S ON THE PENNY?
>> I KEEP A LOT OF DOLLARS, IS IT, LIKE, GEORGE WASHINGTON?
>> Jimmy: I'M SO SORRY. I THOUGHT WE'D FLY BY THE PENNY.
NO, IT'S ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
>> AH, I SHOULD HAVE KNEW THAT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I'M SO SORRY, BUT YOU'RE A NONPROFIT GAME SHOW
CONTESTANT, TOO. ALL RIGHT, THANKS, ZAKARIYAH.
SORRY. LET'S TRY ONE MORE, AND THEN
WE'LL GIVE UP, BECAUSE THIS IS RIDICULOUS. HI, KEITH.
>> HI THERE.
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> I'M DOING GOOD.
>> Jimmy: I WAS GOING TO ASK WHAT YOUR NAME WAS, BUT I SAID
HI KEITH. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK?
>> I'M RETIRED.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE YOU RETIRED.
>> PART SOCIAL WORK, PART PAROLE OFFICER.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE REALLY RUNNING THE GAMUT, AREN'T YOU?
>> NOT SO MUCH.
>> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO ASK YOU A QUESTION.
IF YOU GET IT RIGHT YOU GET TO KEEP THE MONEY.
WHO IS ON THE PENNY, KEITH?
>> ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS CORRECT. NOW, DO YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR
WINNINGS OR KEEP GOING?
>> I'LL DEFINITELY KEEP GOING.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO FOR IT.
WHO, KEITH, IS ON THE NICKEL?
>> THOMAS JEFFERSON.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS RIGHT, KEITH, VERY GOOD.
KEITH, YOU HAVE SIX CENTS, DO YOU WANT TO KEEP GOING?
>> WELL, IT'S NOT GOING TO PAY THE MORTGAGE, SO I'LL KEEP GOING.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, KEITH, WHO IS ON THE DIME?
>> UH, HAVE NO CLUE.
>> Jimmy: YOU DON'T KNOW?
>> NO CLUE.
>> Jimmy: YOU WANT TO TAKE A GUESS?
>> JOHN F. KENNEDY.
>> Jimmy: OH, NO, I'M SO SORRY. THAT SIX CENTS BACK, FISH THAT
OUT OF YOUR POCKET. THANK YOU FOR PLAYING "ON THE
MONEY." EVERYONE'S GOING HOME EMPTY
HANDED. I BELIEVE WE HAVE A CONSOLATION
PRIZE. DICKEY, WHAT DO WE HAVE?
>> Dicky: ALL OF OUR CONTESTANTS WILL RECEIVE THE "ON THE MONEY"
HOME GAME, RETAIL VALUE, 41 CENTS.
>> Jimmy: WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT‐ KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE IS HERE.
WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM ROYAL BLOOD. AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
GABRIELLE UNION AND DWAYNE WADE.
♪
>> Jimmy: HI, WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.
TONIGHT, FROM THE NEW DISNEY FILM, "CRUELLA,"
KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE IS HERE. THEN LATER, TWO MEN WHO MAKE A
WHOLE LOT OF NOISE. THEIR ALBUM IS CALLED "TYPHOONS."
MUSIC FROM ROYAL BLOOD. TOMORROW NIGHT, DON CHEADLE AND
PATTI HARRISON WILL JOIN US WITH MUSIC FROM LAKE STREET DIVE.
AND THURSDAY, RYAN SEACREST, YVONNE ORJI, AND MUSIC FROM
COUNTING CROWS. OUR FIRST GUESTS ARE THE PERFECT
MODERN COUPLE. ONE MAKES MOVIES, THE OTHER IS A
THREE‐TIME NBA CHAMPION. THEIR NEW BOOK FOR KIDS IS
CALLED "SHADY BABY." PLEASE SAY HELLO TO
GABRIELLE UNION AND DWAYNE WADE. HELLO.
HOW ARE YOU?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
GOOD TO SEE YOU GUYS. WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
>> WE'RE IN L. A.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE IN L. A. YOU'RE AT HOME I ASSUME?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, DID YOU HAPPEN TO SEE THE SHOW LAST NIGHT?
SHAQ WAS ON, AND HE WAS TALKING ABOUT, DWAYNE, HE WAS TALKING
ABOUT YOUR HOUSE IN MIAMI, AND HE SAID HE WAS UNIMPRESSED BY
THE HOME.
>> YEAH, SO HE'S TALKING ABOUT MY FIRST HOME THAT I'VE EVER
OWNED IN MY LIFE.
>> Jimmy: OKAY. I SEE.
>> SO IT WASN'T BAD. IT JUST WASN'T, SHAQ WAS LIVING
IN A $20 MILLION HOUSE OFF THE WATER.
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH.
>> I WAS LIVING IN DORAL IN A $500,000 IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
>> Jimmy: GABRIELE, DID YOU EVER SEE THAT HOUSE?
WERE YOU EVER AT THAT FIRST HOUSE? YOU DIDN'T SEE IT.
>> HE'S LIKE IT'S THE FIRST HOUSE, LIKE IT DRAMATICALLY
IMPROVED THEREAFTER. IT DID NOT. HE TOOK THAT BAD TASTE AND
CARRIED IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH UNTIL VERY RECENTLY.
THE PLACE I MET HIM AT WAS WE STARTED CALLING "THE DORM ROOM."
BECAUSE, FOR A GROWN‐ASS MAN TO LIVE LIKE A COLLEGE FRESHMAN IS
A THING. A LOT OF BLACK LACQUERED
FURNITURE, A LOT OF FAUX LEATHER FURNITURE.
IT WAS A MASSIVE FISH TANK WITH A LOT OF DEAD FISH IN IT.
>> TO ALL THE DUDES OUT THERE, WHAT'S UP?
>> LIKE I'VE GOT TO PEE, BUT DO I HOVER, LIKE I'M AT A GAS
STATION? YOU KNOW, LIKE, EW. IT WAS A LITTLE TOUCH AND GO.
THEN WE GOT HIM RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: I'M GLAD YOU GOT HIM RIGHT.
WHEN YOU MOVED IN TOGETHER, DID YOU MOVE INTO ONE OF YOUR PLACES?
OR DID YOU GET A PLACE TOGETHER?
>> SHE MADE ME BUILD A HOME.
>> Jimmy: BUILD A HOME.
>> TOOK TWO YEARS TO BUILD IT, WE BUILT A HOME TOGETHER IN
MIAMI, AND IT WAS WAY, WAY, WAY OVER MY BUDGET.
I WAS COMFORTABLE WITH MY $500,000. AND IT WAS ‐‐
>> Jimmy: GABRIELE, DID YOU THROW OUT ALL OF DWAYNE'S STUFF?
>> NONE OF THAT STUFF FROM THE DORM ROOM MADE IT.
>> Jimmy: NONE OF IT.
>> JIMMY, SHE DIDN'T HAVE TASTE EITHER.
WE'RE NOT GOING TO SIT HERE LIKE SHE HAD AMAZING TASTE.
>> WE DID DISCOVER AS WE WERE BUILDING THE HOUSE, WE MET WITH
THIS WOMAN WHO HAD IMPECCABLE TASTE, AN AMAZING DESIGNER AND
STARTS TALKING SMACK ABOUT A CELEBRITY WE ALL KNOW AND WHO
WILL REMAIN NAMELESS AND HOW HORRIBLE THEIR TASTE BECAUSE,
AND WE JUST HAD SEEN THEIR HOUSE AND THOUGHT IT WAS AMAZING.
SO WE, TOO HAD HORRIBLE TASTE. WE HAD TO STEP IT UP.
>> Jimmy: I FILE LIKE WE NEED THERAPY.
HOW HAS IT BEEN SINCE DWAYNE RETIRED.
IS IT GREAT TO HAVE HIM IN THE HOUSE ALL THE TIME?
>> HE'S IN THE HOUSE ALL THE TIME.
YOU KNOW, IT WAS GOOD, YOU KNOW, INITIALLY, BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE
OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE HOME, AND WE'RE NEVER IN THE SAME PLACE AT
THE SAME TIME, AND IT WAS LIKE, YEAH, YOU SAID THAT JOKE.
I HEARD IT.
>> Jimmy: MAYBE IT WASN'T A JOKE, DWAYNE.
>> YOU KNOW, IT WAS NICE. IT WAS NICE.
>> JIMMY, I'M JUST PICKING UP ODD JOBS NOW, I'M OPEN, ANYBODY
OUT THERE, I'M OPEN. THE FIFTH LEAD IN THIS HOUSE NOW.
THE DOGS ARE ABOVE ME AT THIS POINT.
>> HE'S LIKE COLD CALLING PEOPLE IN THE AIRPORT, LIKE HE SEES A
GUY, YOU KNOW, READING A GOLF BOOK, AND HE'S LIKE WALKING UP
AND MAKING NEW RANDOM FRIENDS IN THE AIRPORT, I'M LIKE, WHAT DO
YOU HAVE, THIS GUY IS LIKE A 75‐YEAR‐OLD DUDE READING A GOLF
BOOK. WHAT ARE Y'ALL TALKING ABOUT?
HE STILL TALKS TO THE MAN TO THIS DAY.
>> SHOUT OUT TO BRADY.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I LIKED IT. WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE GOING TO GET
A LOT BUSIER POSSIBLY, BECAUSE NOW THAT YOU ARE PART OWNER OF
THE UTAH JAZZ, IS THAT OFFICIAL YET? HAS THAT BEEN LOCKED DOWN?
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> IT'S OFFICIAL. THAN THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: AND GABRIELE, THAT MAKES YOU ALSO PART OWNER OF THE
UTAH JAZZ, TOO, YES?
>> NO, THERE ARE THESE THINGS CALLED PRE‐NUPS.
I NEED TO RE‐UP THE PRENUP.
>> Jimmy: WILL YOU GUIYS BE MOVING TO SALT LAKE CITY?
>> WE WON'T BE MOVING. I GOT VERY STRICT DIRECTIONS,
JIMMY, ONCE I RETIRED THAT I HAVE TO LIVE WHEREVER MY WIFE
TELL US WE HAVE TO LIVE. SO L. A. IS WHERE WE'RE GOING TO
LIVE. BUT WE WILL DEFINITELY HAVE A
LITTLE PLACE PROBABLY IN PARK CITY AT SOME POINT.
I'M NOT GOING TO SKI. I'LL BE INSIDE AT THE LOUNGE
CHILLING, DRINKING SOME WADE WINE AND WAITING FOR HER TO GET
OFF THE ICE.
>> HE'S TERRIBLE SKIING. IT'S LIKE SHREK ON SKIS.
IT WAS A SIGHT.
>> Jimmy: I FEEL LIKE WE'RE AT DWAYNE'S ROAST RIGHT NOW.
>> THAT'S RIGHT. I FEEL THE SAME WAY.
I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL.
>> Jimmy: DWAYNE, SHAQ SAID LAST NIGHT YOU GUYS MADE THAT BET
LAST SEASON ON THE NBA FINALS, HEAT AND LAKERS.
AND YOU BET YOUR MVP TROPHIES, AND HE SAYS YOU HAVE NOT COUGHED
UP YOUR MVP TROPHY FOR HIM.
>> YEAH, I GOT IT HERE. I'VE BEEN MEANING TO BRING IT.
I JUST KEEP FORGETTING IT. YOU CAN'T CHECK THIS AT THE
AIRPORT. SO SHAQ WILL HAVE TO COME TO MY
HOUSE AND GET IT.
>> Jimmy: SHAQ CAN MAKE A NICE EARRING OUT OF THAT THING, I
THINK. YOU GUYS HAVE A NEW BOOK. WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT
WHEN WE COME BACK, IT'S CALLED "SHADY BABY", GABRIELE UNION AND
DWYANE WADE ARE WITH US. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.
KIRBY HOWELL BAPTISTE AND MUSIC FROM ROYAL BLOOD ARE COMING UP.
THIS IS A CHILDREN'S BOOK.
"SHADY BABY", WHICH IS A NICKNAME FOR YOUR DAUGHTER?
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH, OUR DAUGHTER. THE WORLD HAS BEEN ABLE TO KIND
OF FOLLOW SINCE BIRTH, HAS BEEN ABLE TO KIND OF FOLLOW HER
THROUGH HER EXPRESSIONS, HER DAY IN THE LIFE.
AND SHE HAS THIS NICKNAME CALLED SHADY BABY, WHERE SHE GIVES OFF
A LOT OF SHADE TO PEOPLE WHO ARE, LET'S SAY IN THE AREA OF
LIFE, OF HER LIFE. SHE GIVES OFF SHADE TO THEM.
AND MY WIFE AND I DECIDED TO REBRAND WHAT SHADE WAS.
WHEN LITTLE GIRLS GROW UP, AND SOMETIMES LITTLE BLACK GIRLS,
SHADE CAN COME OFF AS BEING SOMETHING AS ‐‐
>> LIKE NEGATIVE.
>> YEAH, A NEGATIVE THING. RIGHT, SO WE WANTED TO MAKE SURE
THAT PEOPLE UNDERSTOOD THAT HER LOOKS AND WHAT SHE GIVES YOU IS
NOT HER NEGATIVE, BUT HER SUPER POWER.
THIS IS HER TELLING PEOPLE, HEY, GET OUT OF MY PERSONAL SPACE.
I DON'T LIKE THAT. WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE
THAT. ALL THESE DIFFERENT REASONS WHY
SHE GIVES SHADE IS NOT THE TYPICAL DEFINITION OF WHAT SHADE
IS TO THE WORLD.
>> Jimmy: DOES SHE KNOW THAT THIS BOOK IS ABOUT HER? > NO.
>> SHE GETS THAT THE GIRL ON THE COVER IS HER.
BUT THEN SHE WAS LIKE, OH, LOOK INSIDE.
AND WE'RE LIKE, THAT'S YOU, THAT'S YOUR DOG, THAT'S ZIAH.
THAT'S MOM AND DAD.
>> BABY.
>> SHE'S LIKE SHE DOESN'T GET IT. IF WE SHOW HER A PICTURE OF
BEYONCE, SHE DOESN'T GET THAT BEYONCE IS THE SAME LADY FROM
"SINGLE LADIES ".
>> Jimmy: BECAUSE SHE'S A KID, RIGHT?
>> SHE'S 2 1/2.
>> Jimmy: AND YET HOW MANY FOLLOWERS DOES SHE HAVE ON
INSTAGRAM?
>> A LITTLE LESS THAN 2 MILLION. WE HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT
COME TO US AND TELL US EVERY NIGHT BEFORE BED THEY WATCH OUR
DAUGHTER'S INSTAGRAM PAGE FOR CONTENT, FOR LAUGHTER.
IT'S LIKE NETFLIX AND CHILL IS LIKE SHADY BABY AND GO TO SLEEP.
>> Jimmy: WHEN THEY TELL YOU THAT, DO YOU CALL THE POLICE?
>> IT GETS A LITTLE WEIRD.
IT GETS A LITTLE WIREDEIRD ADT ,
BUT WE LOVE IT. WE LOVE THAT WE CAN SHARE THIS
CHARACTER WITH THE WORLD. THEY'RE ABLE TO GO INTO THAT
WORLD AND LAUGH, BECAUSE SHE SAYS THINGS OR MAKES FACES THE
WAY THAT THEY WOULD. SO WE LOVE THAT.
>> Jimmy: I WAS READING IT TODAY.
AND I'M GOING TO READ THIS TO MY KIDS, BUT I DID NOTICE THAT
GABRIELE, YOU WERE IN THIS LIKE FIVE TIMES, AND DWAYNE, YOU ARE
IN IT OFFICIALLY ONE TIME, AND YOUR LEGS ARE IN IT ANOTHER TIME.
BUT, YEAH. LIKE YOU'RE IN IT ONE AND A HALF
TIMES.
>> THAT'S PRETTY ACCURATE, I MEAN. THEY COME TO ME FOR CERTAIN
THINGS.
>> IN THE NEXT BOOK, IT WILL BE D AND BRADY FROM THE AIRPORT.
AND THAT WILL BE A WHOLE DIFFERENT SHADY, AN OLD STRAIGHT
WHITE GUY. HER DAD PICKED UP IN THE AIRPORT.
>> Jimmy: GABRIELE, IS THAT SADE ON YOUR SHIRT?
>> YES, THE GODDESS. HEY.
>> Jimmy: IS THAT SADE, BABY? IS THAT WHY YOU WORE THAT?
JUST MAYBE A SUB CONSCIOUS THING GOING ON THERE?
>> I LOVE IT. AND THEN I TRY TO GIVE YOU THE
SADE LONG OLD PONYTAIL, YOU KNOW, AS AN HOMAGE.
>> Jimmy: I LOVE IT, YOU GUYS ARE ALSO INVOLVED IN, TELL US
ABOUT THIS PROJECT YOU'RE INVOLVED WITH RIGHT NOW.
>> SO WE'RE IN THE DON'T SKIP CAMPAIGN WHERE WE PARTNERED UP
WITH THIS NON‐PROFIT CAMPAIGN TO VACCINATE YOUR FAMILY.
WE PARTNERED TO REMIND PARENTS TO DON'T SKIP THEIR WELL VISITS
WITH THEIR DOCTOR AND ANY DOCTOR‐RECOMMENDED VACCINES AND
ALSO TO REMIND PEOPLE THAT KIDS ARE GOING BACK TO SCHOOL.
MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVEN'T, YOU KNOW, MISSED ANY OF THEIR
REGULARLY‐SCHEDULED VACCINATIONS.
YOU CAN GET MORE INFORMATION AT
DON'TSKIPVACCINES.COM. DON'T SKIP A LOT OF THINGS
DURING THE PANDEMIC. DON'T SKIP THOSE WELL VISITS AND
VACCINATIONS. JUST TALKING ABOUT GETTING
REACQUAINTED WITH YOUR DOCTORS.
>> Jimmy: WHO WINS, LAKERS OR WARRIORS IN THAT GAME OR ONE
GAME NO WAY TO DECIDE? NOT THAT YOU REALLY KNOW
ANYTHING, YOU LOST YOUR MVP TROPHY LAST YEAR.
>> SINCE I HAVE, SINCE I AM A PART OWNER OF THE UTAH JAZZ, I
CAN'T SAY THAT. YOU GOT TO PICK.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I LIVE HERE IN L. A., I'M A LAKERS
FAN. CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THIS STUFF YOU GOT GOING ON.
GABRIELE UNION AND DWYANE WADE. THEY'RE GETTING ALONG.
IT'S FOR FUN. A LOT OF THIS STUFF IS JUST FOR
FUN, RIGHT?
>> YEP.
>> Jimmy: "SHADY BABY" IS AVAILABLE NOW.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE. THANKS, GUYS.
♪
>> Jimmy: HI THERE. MUSIC FROM ROYAL BLOOD IS ON THE
WAY. YOU KNOW OUR NEXT GUEST FROM A
VARIETY OF QUALITY TELEVISION SHOWS LIKE "THE GOOD PLACE,"
"KILLING EVE," AND "BARRY," TOO.
HER NEW MOVIE IS "CRUELLA."
>> STELLA, IT'S BEEN SO LONG.
>> YOU KNOW, I KEPT STARING AT YOU AT THE PARTY, AND THEN IT
CAME TO ME. THAT'S ESTELLA FROM SCHOOL.
>> IT'S NOT ESTELLA. THAT'S THE PAST. I'M CRUELLA.
>> Jimmy: "CRUELLA" IS IN THEATRES AND ON DISNEY PLUS
PREMIER ACCESS A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. PLEASE WELCOME
KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE.
♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: I'M GOOD, THANK YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHY THERE ARE TWO
CHAIRS THERE. THE CHAIR'S JUST TO BLOCK YOU
FROM COMING AROUND THE CORNER AND TO CONFUSE.
>> WELL, TO BE FAIR, SOMEONE TOLD ME EXACTLY WHAT TO DO
BEHIND, BACK STAGE.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW HOW THAT GOES, AS SOON AS YOU HEAR THE
MUSIC IT LEAVES YOUR HEAD.
>> 100%.
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> I'M GOOD.
>> Jimmy: WE USED TO HAVE A MOVIE PREMIERE EVERY WEEK IN
THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, SOMETIMES TWO A WEEK.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU'RE HAVING A PREMIERE, THE FIRST ONE
IN MORE THAN A YEAR. IT'S EXCITING.
>> YEAH, IT'S EXCITING.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU SEEP TN THE MOVIE, THE WHOLE MOVIE?
>> I HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE, BUT I DIDN'T SEE IT THE WAY YOU SHOULD
SEE IT. I SAW IT ON A TINY LITTLE LAPTOP
WITH WATERMARKS ALL OVER IT.
>> Jimmy: I HAVEN'T SEEN IT, BUT I HEARD IT'S GREAT.
>> I'M EXCITED ABOUT IT.
>> Jimmy: I BET YOU ARE.
>> YEAH. IT'S LIKE THE RETURN OF, PEOPLE
ARE COMFORTABLE GOING BACK OUT.
>> Jimmy: ABSOLUTELY. BY THE WAY, I HEARD ABOUT THIS,
AND I WAS TALKING EARLIER ABOUT HOW PEOPLE HAVE LOST THE ABILITY
TO DRIVE OVER THIS PANDEMIC, AS PEOPLE HAVEN'T BEEN DRIVING MUCH
AND THEY KIND OF GET RUSTY OR WHATEVER.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE A DRIVING STORY, YOU HAVE A VISUAL AID I
WILL HOLD OFF ON, BUT I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR THE STORY FROM YOU.
>> YEAH, I CAN RELATE, I'M FROM LONDON, SO NOT, I DIDN'T HAVE TO
DRIVE FOR MOST OF MY LIFE. ANYWAY, WHEN I MOVED OUT HERE, A
LITTLE WHILE AFTER BEING HERE, I WAS LIKE, I SHOULD TAKE A ROAD
TRIP. I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
IT FEELS LIKE QUINTESSENTIALLY AMERICAN AND A FRIEND OF MINE
AND I WENT UP THE COAST. SO I TRAVELLED FROM SANTA ROSA,
AND I SPENT A COUPLE NIGHTS IN BIG SUR, AND THEN I WAS LIKE,
OH, I'VE NEVER BEEN HEARST
CASTLE.
>> Jimmy: IT'S THIS BIG BEAUTIFUL CASTLE.
>> I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WENT, AND IT'S KIND OF SHAMEFUL I'VE NEVER
BEEN. IT'S NOT THAT SHAMEFUL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THERE.
IT'S NOT LIKE NOT VOTING, YOU KNOW.
>> Jimmy: PEOPLE SAY IT'S REALLY COOL TO SEE.
>> EXACTLY. IT'S REALLY COOL TO SEE.
IT'S OPULENT. THERE ARE ZEBRAS EVERYWHERE
APPARENTLY, SO I WANTED TO SEE IT IN REAL LIFE.
SO I'M DRIVING, AND WHEN I LEAVE THE PLACE I'M STAYING IN BIG
SUR, THERE'S TWO WAYS YOU CAN GO, A BEAUTIFUL SCENIC ROUTE AND
THE FREEWAY. I'M LIKE, NO WAY, I'M GOING THE
SCENIC ROUTE. SO I LEAVE WITH ABOUT A QUARTER
TANK OF PETROL, GAS. OH, NO, INDEED.
SO I LEAVE WITH A QUARTER TANK AND I'M DRIVING ALONG HIGHWAY
ONE, AND IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU KNOW THAT SCENE IN "BIG
LITTLE LIES." IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT ALONG THE OCEAN.
>> ANYWAY, THERE'S A ROCK SLIDE, AND THEY'RE DIVERTING TRAFFIC,
AND IT'S LIKE, OKAY, I HOPE I FIND SOMEWHERE TO FILL UP.
I GO THROUGH THE FOREST, AND I IMMEDIATELY LOSE RECEPTION.
MY CAR IS RUNNING LOW, AND I SHOULD HAVE FILLED IT UP.
THAT'S MY BAD. I'M USING GOOGLE MAPS.
YOU'LL KNOW THEY DID ME VERY WRONG IN THIS MOMENT.
SO, I'M LIKE DRIVING ALONG. AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I'M OFF
ROAD, AND LET ME JUST SAY I'M NOT IN AN OFF ROAD CAR.
I'M IN A 2001 TOYOTA SOLARA.
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I'M ON ARMY LAND, AND SIGNS THAT SAY DON'T
GET OUT OF YOUR CAR BECAUSE THERE ARE POSSIBLE EXPLOSIVES.
5 MILES PER HOUR. GO THROUGH PRIVATE PROPERTY ON A
FARM. AND MEANWHILE, GPS IS SAYING
YOU'RE DOING GOOD GIRL, I'M GOING THE WAY I'M MEANT TO BE
GOING, SO I'M LIKE, OKAY, IF YOU SAY SO. SO I KEEP GOING.
AND I'M LIKE, MY PETROL GOES DOWN.
IT'S LIKE THE LIGHT COMES ON. EVERY TIME YOU GO DOWNHILL, POP
IT INTO NEUTRAL. I'M DOING THAT, AND I'M
TERRIFIED. AND THEN MY GPS TELLS ME I'M .5
MILES AWAY FROM HEARST CASTLE. LIKE YOU DID IT.
AS I'M GOING, I GO UP A BIT OF A HILL.
THERE'S A FOREST, I COME THROUGH THE CLEARING AND I'M FACED WITH
A CREEK IS WHAT I CALL IT. EVERYONE ELSE IS LIKE, THAT WAS
A SMALL LAKE. IT WAS A CREEK THAT WAS PROBABLY
ALMOST THE SIZE OF THIS STUDIO FLOOR. AND IN MY MIND, I SEE TIRE
TRACKS ON THE OTHER SIDE, SO I'M LIKE, IT CAN'T BE THAT DEEP, CAN
YOU MAKE IT IN YOUR 2001 SOLARA. I GUESS I DON'T KNOW HOW CARS
WORK. SO I DRIVE THROUGH, AND I'M THREE QUARTERS OF THE WAY
THROUGH, AND I'M LIKE, YOU DID IT. IT WAS WORTH IT.
YOU'LL PROBABLY BREAK DOWN, BUT IT'S FINE.
YOU WILL BE AT THE CASTLE AND GET TOWED FROM THERE.
THREE QUARTERS OF THE WAY, I HEAR THIS CLICK.
AND MY CAR IS DEAD IN THE WATER. AND YOU KNOW IN FILMS WHEN CARS
DIE THERE'S SMOKE AND ALL THIS FANFARE.
IT WAS SO ANTI‐CLIE AK PARTICULAR.
WATER STARTS FLOODING INTO MY CAR.
I GRAB ALL MY THINGS, WADE TO THE OTHER SIDE.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN THE JOURNEY I HAVE RECEPTION.
I CALL EMERGENCY SERVICES, AND THEY'RE LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU?
AND I'M THINKING, YOU TELL ME. THIS IS IT.
I WAS LOCATED BY HELICOPTER. THIS IS REAL. THAT'S MY CAR.
>> Jimmy: HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THAT?
>> THAT'S MY FIRST‐EVER CAR.
>> Jimmy: YOU LOOK PRETTY HAPPY,
>> YOU KNOW, I THINK MY MIND WAS RUNNING, I THINK I HAD SO MUCH
ADRENALINE. HOW DID I GET OUT? I GOT LOCATED BY HELICOPTER,
BECAUSE I WAS NOT ON A REAL ROAD. AND THEN I HAD A TOW TRUCK COME
PICK ME UP, TOW THAT SAD LITTLE CAR OUT OF THE WATER.
AND THE TOW TRUCK DRIVER WAS SO LOVELY.
HE DROVE UP THE BACKSIDE OF HEARST CASTLE.
IT'S A SERVICE ROAD, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ON IT.
AND THE GUY'S LIKE, IT'S GOOD YOU DIDN'T GET THERE BECAUSE YOU
WOULD HAVE BEEN ARRESTED. BUT THE GPS WAS TELLING ME HOW
TO GET THERE LIKE I LIVED THERE, ANYWAY, HE WAS SO, SO LOVELY.
AND THEN HIM AND HIS WIFE, HE WAS LIKE, MY WIFE WOULD KILL ME
IF I DIDN'T OFFER YOU A PLACE TO STAY, SO YOU CAN STAY WITH US.
SO I STAYED WITH HIM AND HIS WIFE.
>> Jimmy: YOU WENT HOME WITH THE TOW TRUCK DRIVER.
>> I WENT HOME WITH THE TOW TRUCK DRIVER.
>> Jimmy: GOOD IDEA.
>> I MET HIS LOVELY WIFE FIRST AT THIS CHRISTMAS FAIR, SO IT
WAS LEGIT, YOU KNOW, THEN THEY, THEY TOOK, SHE TOOK ME TO A
WINTER SOLSTICE PARTY. THAT'S NOT EVEN THE CRAZIEST
PART. I WAS AT THIS PARTY, IT'S BEEN
SUCH A LONG DAY, BEEN KIND OF TRAUMATIC, AND I'M LIKE, TIME TO
GET HIGH.
[ APPLAUSE ]
SO THEN I'M LIKE SMOKING AND SMOKING, AND I LITERALLY, FOR
THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE CANNOT GET HIGH.
AND WHAT I ASSUME WAS HAPPENING WITH MY BIOLOGY WAS THAT MY
BRAIN WENT, THAT'S ENOUGH FOR TODAY.
>> Jimmy: DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN.
>> NEVER. NEVER. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
I HAVE NEVER HAD A TANK OF PETROL THAT HAS NOT BEEN FULL
SINCE. NEVER. IN FACT, I JUST SWITCHED TO
ELECTRIC, AND I THAT I'S WHY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. THANK YOU FOR TELLING US THAT
STORY.
>> THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME TELL YOU.
>> Jimmy: THE MOVIE IS "CRUELLA."
IT OPENS A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE, THE TOW
TRUCK DRIVER'S FRIEND, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUSIC
FROM ROYAL BLOOD.
>> Jimmy: GET READY TO TURN IT UP. THEIR LATEST ALBUM IS CALLED
"TYPHOONS." PLAYING THE TITLE TRACK, ROYAL
BLOOD!
♪
♪ RIP THE PLUG OUT THE RADIO
SWITCH ME OFF PUT ME UNDER TILL I'M SKY HIGH ♪
♪ GIVE ME VERTIGO
LET ME KNOW WHEN IT'S OVER 'CAUSE ALL THESE CHEMICALS
DANCING THROUGH MY VEINS ♪
♪ THEY DON'T KILL THE CAUSE
THEY JUST NUMB THE PAIN I NEED WAKING UP
I SHOULD FACE THE TRUTH ♪
♪ I COULD CALM THE STORM
IF I WANTED TO TYPHOON ♪
♪ MY THOUGHTS
BECOMING PARASITES THAT LIVE TO KEEP ME TERRIFIED ♪
♪ I TELL MYSELF
I'LL BE ALRIGHT TYPHOONS KEEP ON RAGING
AND I DON'T KNOW WHY ♪
♪ TYPHOON
FLASHBACKS I'M NOT LETTING GO TEAR ME UP ♪
♪ CAST A SHADOW
I GOT GAME FACE BUT IT'S ALL FOR SHOW
CAN'T GIVE IT UP ♪
♪ BLOW MY COVER
'CAUSE ALL THESE CHEMICALS DANCING THROUGH MY VEINS
THEY DON'T KILL THE CAUSE ♪
♪ THEY JUST NUMB THE PAIN
I NEED WAKING UP I SHOULD FACE THE TRUTH ♪
♪ I COULD CALM THE STORM
IF I WANTED TO ♪
♪ TYPHOON
MY THOUGHTS BECOMING PARASITES THAT LIVE TO ♪
♪ KEEP ME TERRIFIED
I TELL MYSELF I'LL BE ALRIGHT ♪
♪ TYPHOONS KEEP ON RAGING
AND I DON'T KNOW WHY ♪
♪ DARK MEMORIES
LIKE LIGHTNING STRIKE SHAKE AND SWAY ME
THROUGH THE NIGHT ♪
♪ RAGING ON BEHIND MY EYES
I'M DOOMED AND I'M WAITING FOR LIGHT IN MY SKY ♪
♪ TYPHOONS KEEP ON RAGING
AND I DON'T KNOW WHY
TYPHOON ♪
♪
♪ MY THOUGHTS BECOMING
PARASITES ♪
♪ THEY LIVE TO KEEP ME
TERRIFIED ♪
♪ I TELL MYSELF I'LL BE ALL
RIGHT ♪
♪ MY THOUGHTS KEEP ON RAGING
♪ TYPHOON
♪ DARK MEMORIES
♪ SHAKE AND SWAY ME THROUGH THE
NIGHT ♪
♪ RAGING ON BEHIND MY EYES
♪ I'M DOOMED AND I'M WAITING FOR
LIGHT IN MY SKY ♪
♪ MY THOUGHTS KEEP ON MOVING AND
I DON'T KNOW WHY ♪
♪
>> Jimmy: THANKS TO GABRIELE UNION, DWYANE WADE,
KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE AND ROYAL BLOOD. APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.
TOMORROW NIGHT, WE HAVE DON CHEADLE AND PATTI HARRISON
WITH MUSIC FROM LAKE STREET DIVE.