1 00:00:00,860 --> 00:00:02,006 >> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE." 2 00:00:02,006 --> 00:00:08,713 TONIGHT, GABRIELE UNION, DWYANE WADE, MUSIC FROM ROYAL BLOOD, 3 00:00:08,713 --> 00:00:11,716 AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 4 00:00:11,716 --> 00:00:17,588 >> Jimmy: HI, THANK YOU, HI, I'M JIMMY. I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. 5 00:00:17,588 --> 00:00:23,161 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. WE HAD AN ACCIDENT OVER HERE. 6 00:00:23,161 --> 00:00:24,429 THANK YOU FOR JOINING US HERE IN SUNNY SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA WHERE 7 00:00:24,429 --> 00:00:30,624 WE ARE STILL MASKING NO MATTER WHAT THE CDC SAYS, 8 00:00:30,624 --> 00:00:33,960 AND WILL APPARENTLY CONTINUE TO DO SO FOR ANOTHER MONTH. 9 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,262 THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA SAID THEY'RE NOT LIFTING THE MASK 10 00:00:35,262 --> 00:00:37,130 MANDATE IN STORES AND PUBLIC PLACES UNTIL JUNE 15th. 11 00:00:37,130 --> 00:00:39,266 WHICH WILL BE KNOWN AS "PLEASE STOP SCREAMING AT THE ASSISTANT 12 00:00:39,266 --> 00:00:45,138 MANAGER DAY." ALL OVER TOWN. THE RULES ARE A LITTLE 13 00:00:45,138 --> 00:00:46,740 CONFUSING, SO LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO LIVE 14 00:00:46,740 --> 00:00:49,276 OR PLAN TO VISIT HERE. IF YOU'RE VACCINATED, AND YOU'RE 15 00:00:49,276 --> 00:00:52,913 INDOORS, YOU DON'T NEED TO WEAR A MASK, BUT YOU DO HAVE TO WEAR 16 00:00:52,913 --> 00:00:55,348 A MASK UNTIL JUNE 15th. AT WHICH POINT YOU DON'T HAVE TO 17 00:00:55,348 --> 00:00:58,718 WEAR A MASK, UNLESS YOU WANT TO. THAT IS, IF YOU'RE VACCINATED. 18 00:00:58,718 --> 00:01:02,055 UNLESS YOU'RE ON A PLANE, TRAIN, OR BUS, IN WHICH CASE YOU BOTH 19 00:01:02,055 --> 00:01:06,760 NEED TO AND HAVE TO WEAR A MASK. VACCINATED OR NOT. GET IT? 20 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:13,700 GUILLERMO, REPEAT THAT BACK. GO AHEAD. 21 00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,635 >> Guillermo: UH, JUST WEAR A 22 00:01:15,635 --> 00:01:17,837 [ BLEEP ] MASK. 23 00:01:17,837 --> 00:01:18,171 [ APPLAUSE ] 24 00:01:18,171 --> 00:01:23,143 >> Jimmy: ONE OF THE MORE UNEXPECTED AND INTERESTING SIDE 25 00:01:23,143 --> 00:01:24,444 EFFECTS OF THE PAST 14 MONTHS IS THAT MANY PEOPLE HAVE FORGOTTEN 26 00:01:24,444 --> 00:01:30,684 HOW TO DRIVE. DURING THE PANDEMIC. 27 00:01:30,684 --> 00:01:33,019 THEY SAY PEOPLE ARE HAVING TROUBLE REMEMBERING ROUTES THEY 28 00:01:33,019 --> 00:01:34,187 TOOK REGULARLY AND ARE JUST IN GENERAL HAVING DIFFICULTY 29 00:01:34,187 --> 00:01:36,690 OPERATING THEIR CARS. WHICH IS A SHAME BECAUSE PEOPLE 30 00:01:36,690 --> 00:01:39,392 IN L. A. WERE SUCH GREAT DRIVERS BEFORE THE PANDEMIC. 31 00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:41,995 YOU HATE TO SEE THOSE SKILLS ERODE. 32 00:01:41,995 --> 00:01:45,232 BASICALLY, WE'RE A WHOLE COUNTRY OF MEADOW SOPRANOS TRYING TO 33 00:01:45,232 --> 00:01:48,568 PARALLEL PARK OUTSIDE THE DINER. 34 00:01:48,568 --> 00:01:55,342 MEANWHILE IN LAS VEGAS, IF YOU HAVEN'T RECEIVED YOUR 35 00:01:55,342 --> 00:02:00,714 VACCINATION YET, THERE'S A NEW POP‐UP SITE OPENING THIS WEEKEND 36 00:02:00,714 --> 00:02:06,353 IN WHAT EVEN IN VEGAS IS AN UNUSUAL SPOT. 37 00:02:06,353 --> 00:02:13,059 >> LARRY FLYNT'S HUSTLER CLUB 38 00:02:13,059 --> 00:02:18,565 ARE GIVING OUT THE VACCINE. 39 00:02:18,565 --> 00:02:19,633 >> Jimmy: NO. HONEY, WHAT? I WAS GETTING MY VACCINE! 40 00:02:19,633 --> 00:02:20,867 WHAT A YEAR THIS IS, 2021. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THE HUSTLER 41 00:02:20,867 --> 00:02:23,036 CLUB TO NOT GET A VIRUS. WE ARE STILL UNDER 50% IN THIS 42 00:02:23,036 --> 00:02:24,404 COUNTRY WHEN IT COMES TO PEOPLE WHO'VE HAD AT LEAST ONE SHOT. 43 00:02:24,404 --> 00:02:26,940 CANADA IS ABOUT TO PASS US, PERCENTAGE‐WISE AND THAT'S 44 00:02:26,940 --> 00:02:29,943 BECAUSE A LOT OF AMERICANS ARE ‐‐ WHAT'S THE WORD I'M 45 00:02:29,943 --> 00:02:33,213 LOOKING FOR? CRAZY. WE HAVE A LOT OF CRAZY PEOPLE 46 00:02:33,213 --> 00:02:37,617 HERE. THE NEW LINE OF LUNACY FROM ANTI‐VAX NATION IS CALLED "THE 47 00:02:37,617 --> 00:02:43,223 MAGNET CHALLENGE." HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS? 48 00:02:43,223 --> 00:02:48,395 A NUMBER OF THICK‐ARMED CONSPIRACY THEORISTS HAVE TAKEN 49 00:02:48,395 --> 00:02:52,666 TO SOCIAL MEDIA TO CLAIM THAT SINCE THEY GOT VACCINATED THEIR 50 00:02:52,666 --> 00:02:57,337 ARM NOW HAS MAGNETIC PROPERTIES. PRESUMABLY BECAUSE OF THE 51 00:02:57,337 --> 00:03:00,874 MICROCHIP THAT WAS IMPLANTED WHEN THEY GOT THE SHOT. 52 00:03:00,874 --> 00:03:02,275 >> AND THERE IT IS. 53 00:03:02,275 --> 00:03:05,312 >> COME CLOSER. 54 00:03:05,312 --> 00:03:11,685 >> THAT'S WHERE I GOT THE SHOT. AND HERE'S THE MAGNET ON THE ARM 55 00:03:11,685 --> 00:03:17,624 I DIDN'T GET THE SHOT. YOU GO FIGURE IT OUT. 56 00:03:17,624 --> 00:03:20,126 YOU'RE CHIPPED. WE'RE ALL [ BLEEP ]. 57 00:03:20,126 --> 00:03:26,166 >> Jimmy: WELL, YOUR KIDS DEFINITELY ARE. 58 00:03:26,166 --> 00:03:29,869 WHAT MAKES THESE PEOPLE THAT ANYONE IS INTERESTED ENOUGH IN 59 00:03:29,869 --> 00:03:34,908 THEM TO TRACK THEM? WHERE COULD THIS WOMAN POSSIBLY 60 00:03:34,908 --> 00:03:36,743 BE GOING? "SHE JUST LEFT WALMART AND SHE'S 61 00:03:36,743 --> 00:03:42,015 EN ROUTE TO JOANN FABRIC." HERE'S ANOTHER ONE. 62 00:03:42,015 --> 00:03:43,550 THERE'S OTHER PEOPLE CLAIMING THIS. 63 00:03:43,550 --> 00:03:50,090 >> IF YOU WANT TO TEST AND 64 00:03:50,090 --> 00:03:54,594 CHALLENGE, DO THE MAGNET CHALLENGE, THEY GOT THE MAGNETS 65 00:03:54,594 --> 00:03:54,927 RIGHT HERE. 66 00:03:54,927 --> 00:03:56,096 >> Jimmy: AT LEAST HE'S PROMOTING A LOCAL BUSINESS. 67 00:03:56,096 --> 00:03:58,531 AS HE BATTLES COVACK‐19. THIS GUY TRIED A NUMBER OF 68 00:03:58,531 --> 00:04:00,033 MAGNETIC EXPERIMENTS ON HIMSELF AND ALL OF THEM LED TO ONLY ONE 69 00:04:00,033 --> 00:04:09,242 CONCEIVABLE CONCLUSION. 70 00:04:09,242 --> 00:04:13,446 >> RIGHT WHERE I GOT MY SHOT. CAN'T MAKE THIS UP. 71 00:04:13,446 --> 00:04:18,118 THIS IS A STUD FINDER. 72 00:04:18,118 --> 00:04:20,854 >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, AND IT FOUND A STUD RIGHT THERE. 73 00:04:20,854 --> 00:04:22,088 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I DEFINITELY BELIEVE THE GUY WITH 74 00:04:22,088 --> 00:04:26,693 40 BOTTLES OF LYSOL ON HIS SHELF. 75 00:04:26,693 --> 00:04:31,898 HE NOT ONLY PROVE TD WD IT WITH 76 00:04:31,898 --> 00:04:38,405 MAGNET AND STUD FINDER, HE PROVE TD WITH A COMPASS, TOO. 77 00:04:38,405 --> 00:04:39,572 >> Y'ALL SEEN THAT MOVE. 78 00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:40,573 >> Jimmy: WE DID? I'M WATCHING THIS GUY, WHOSE 79 00:04:40,573 --> 00:04:41,841 NAME, BY THE WAY, IS ROBERT, AND IN ONE OF THE CLIPS HE POSTED, 80 00:04:41,841 --> 00:04:43,376 IN THE BACKGROUND YOU CAN HEAR OUR SHOW. 81 00:04:43,376 --> 00:04:50,216 HE WAS WATCHING OUR SHOW WHILE DOING THESE EXPERIMENTS, 82 00:04:50,216 --> 00:04:51,351 WHICH, ROBERT, IF YOU'RE WATCHING RIGHT NOW, FIRST OF 83 00:04:51,351 --> 00:04:52,352 ALL, I WANT YOU TO KNOW ‐‐ I'M ALSO WATCHING YOU. 84 00:04:52,352 --> 00:04:57,390 I HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR YEARS. I SEE EVERYTHING YOU DO. 85 00:04:57,390 --> 00:04:59,125 I PUT MAGNETS NOT ONLY IN YOUR ARMS. 86 00:04:59,125 --> 00:05:01,127 YOUR WHOLE BODY IS FILLED WITH THEM. 87 00:05:01,127 --> 00:05:03,430 FROM YOUR EARS ALL THE WAY DOWN TO YOUR FEET. 88 00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:05,365 AND WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, I WILL SUMMON YOU. 89 00:05:05,365 --> 00:05:11,337 YOU WILL BE LIFTED UP TO OUR HOME PLANET, COVACK‐19. 90 00:05:11,337 --> 00:05:14,274 WHERE WE WILL LIVE OUT OUR DAYS MAGNETIZED TO EACH OTHER. 91 00:05:14,274 --> 00:05:15,608 WELL, IF HE WASN'T OUT OF HIS 92 00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:23,349 MIND BEFORE, HE IS NOW. 93 00:05:23,349 --> 00:05:23,683 [ APPLAUSE ] 94 00:05:23,683 --> 00:05:25,051 IN NEW YORK TODAY, ANDREW GIULIANI, SON OF 95 00:05:25,051 --> 00:05:30,723 SHELLACULA, OFFICIALLY ENTERED THE RACE FOR GOVERNOR. 96 00:05:30,723 --> 00:05:34,794 >> GO AHEAD. MAKE THE ANNOUNCEMENT. 97 00:05:34,794 --> 00:05:37,430 >> WELL, I'M SEEKING CANDIDACY FOR THE 57th GOVERNOR OF NEW 98 00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:39,065 YORK. I THINK IT'S TIME THAT NEW YORK 99 00:05:39,065 --> 00:05:43,303 GET TURNED AROUND. I'M SICK AND TIRED OF SEEING NEW 100 00:05:43,303 --> 00:05:46,940 TEXAS, TO TENNESSEE. RIDA, TO ‐ AND I'M GOING TO DO EVERYTHING 101 00:05:46,940 --> 00:05:50,343 IN MY POWER TO MAKE SURE NEW YORK IS NOT JUST THE CULTURAL 102 00:05:50,343 --> 00:05:54,514 CENTER OF THE WORLD AGAIN BUT THE ECONOMIC CENTER OF THE WORLD. 103 00:05:54,514 --> 00:05:59,219 >> Jimmy: HE WANTS TO STOP NEW YORKERS FROM MOVING TO FLORIDA, 104 00:05:59,219 --> 00:06:03,990 LIKE DONALD TRUMP, WHO MOVED TO FLORIDA. 105 00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:05,191 ANDREW GIULIANI, IF YOU DON'T KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT HIM, IS A 106 00:06:05,191 --> 00:06:06,526 FORMER PROFESSIONAL GOLFER, WHICH IS GOOD. 107 00:06:06,526 --> 00:06:07,760 THAT WAY WHEN HE GETS THE LOWEST NUMBER OF VOTES, HE'LL THINK HE 108 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:12,031 WON. ANDREW DOESN'T HAVE MUCH EXPERIENCE IN ANYTHING BUT, AS 109 00:06:12,031 --> 00:06:14,033 HE TOLD THE "NEW YORK POST," "I'M POLITICIAN OUT OF THE WOMB. 110 00:06:14,033 --> 00:06:18,538 IT'S IN MY DNA." RIGHT. OF COURSE, THAT MEANS THIS IS 111 00:06:18,538 --> 00:06:24,711 ALSO IN YOUR DNA. 112 00:06:24,711 --> 00:06:27,347 GOOD OLD JACK THE DRIPPER. ANYWAY, IF YOU'D LIKE TO 113 00:06:27,347 --> 00:06:29,549 VOLUNTEER TO WORK ON ANDREW GIULIANI'S CAMPAIGN, 114 00:06:29,549 --> 00:06:36,089 PLEASE CALL HIS DAD'S BUTT. SOMETIME VERY SOON. 115 00:06:36,089 --> 00:06:39,592 YOU KNOW, THE NBA PLAYOFFS ABOUT TO START AND THE BROOKLYN 116 00:06:39,592 --> 00:06:40,927 NETS THE FAVORITE TO WIN, NEW YORK MAYOR BILL DeBLASIO, 117 00:06:40,927 --> 00:06:42,695 FOR SOME REASON, SHOWED UP TO HIS DAILY PRESS CONFERENCE 118 00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:47,133 DRESSED LIKE THIS. I THINK THE ONLY EXPLANATION FOR 119 00:06:47,133 --> 00:06:48,701 THAT IS IT WAS DONE AS A JOKE BY HIS STAFF, WHO HATES HIM VERY 120 00:06:48,701 --> 00:06:54,774 MUCH. TWITTER IS EXPLORING THE POSSIBILITY OF OFFERING A 121 00:06:54,774 --> 00:06:57,010 SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE. THAT WOULD BE CALLED "TWITTER 122 00:06:57,010 --> 00:07:01,314 BLUE." AND IT WOULD COST $2.99 A MONTH. 123 00:07:01,314 --> 00:07:05,318 IN OTHER WORDS, NOW YOU CAN GET ABUSED AND PAY FOR IT. 124 00:07:05,318 --> 00:07:09,656 THEY SHOULD CALL IT "TWITTER: DOMINATRIX." 125 00:07:09,656 --> 00:07:11,858 BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT IT IS. THE BIG STORY HERE IN HOLLYWOOD 126 00:07:11,858 --> 00:07:14,928 TODAY IS THAT AMAZON IS REPORTEDLY IN TALKS TO BUY MGM. 127 00:07:14,928 --> 00:07:15,828 YOU KNOW THE MOVIE STUDIO WITH THE LION? 128 00:07:15,828 --> 00:07:17,263 AMAZON IS THINKING ABOUT BUYING IT. 129 00:07:17,263 --> 00:07:20,900 WHICH SHOULDN'T BE A SURPRISE. AMAZON IS IN TALKS TO BUY 130 00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:22,001 EVERYTHING. IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE YOU'LL 131 00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:23,336 SAY, "WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MY COUSIN TIM? 132 00:07:23,336 --> 00:07:30,243 OH, AMAZON BOUGHT HIM?" MGM HAS A LOT OF PROPERTIES ‐‐ 133 00:07:30,243 --> 00:07:32,111 THE HOBBIT, THE ROCKY MOVIES, JAMES BOND. 134 00:07:32,111 --> 00:07:35,882 IF THE DEAL GOES THROUGH, JEFF BEZOS WOULD OWN JAMES BOND. 135 00:07:35,882 --> 00:07:38,885 HOW COME NONE OF THE OTHER VILLAINS EVER THOUGHT OF THAT? 136 00:07:38,885 --> 00:07:45,491 THE DEAL IS SAID TO BE WORTH NINE BILLION DOLLARS‐ WHICH, 137 00:07:45,491 --> 00:07:50,129 AFTER TAXES WORKS OUT TO AROUND NINE BILLION DOLLARS. 138 00:07:50,129 --> 00:07:56,603 FOR JEFF BEZOS. ANY ANYWAY, I WISH THEM A LOT OF 139 00:07:56,603 --> 00:07:58,571 LUCK. THE PLAN IS FOR AMAZON TO SLITHER DOWN FROM AN OVERHEAD 140 00:07:58,571 --> 00:07:59,806 TREE, WRAP ITSELF TIGHTLY AROUND MGM AND SQUEEZE, AND THEN IN 141 00:07:59,806 --> 00:08:02,141 PHASE TWO, IT WILL STRETCH ITS JAWS VERY WIDE AND SWALLOW MGM 142 00:08:02,141 --> 00:08:09,816 WHOLE. 143 00:08:09,816 --> 00:08:13,319 YESTERDAY, YOU REMEMBER IT'S TAX DAY YESTERDAY, RIGHT, GUILLERMO? 144 00:08:13,319 --> 00:08:20,126 >> YEAH, YEAH, I DID, YEAH. 145 00:08:20,126 --> 00:08:21,995 >> Jimmy: THAT DOESN'T SOUND CONVINCING. 146 00:08:21,995 --> 00:08:28,267 >> YEAH, I DID MY TAXES. 147 00:08:28,267 --> 00:08:39,746 >> Jimmy: THE IRS PUSHED THE 148 00:08:39,746 --> 00:08:46,753 DEADLINE BACK A MONTH THIS YEAR. AND ONE OF OUR WRITERS, 149 00:08:46,753 --> 00:08:48,154 GARY GREENBERG, ASKED ME FOR A FAVOR. 150 00:08:48,154 --> 00:08:48,955 GARY BUYS A TON OF WEIRD CRAP ON EAY. 151 00:08:48,955 --> 00:08:50,523 THINGS NO PERSON IN HIS RIGHT MIND WOULD EVER WANT. 152 00:08:50,523 --> 00:08:51,958 BUT HE BUYS IT BECAUSE HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY, AND THEN WHEN TAX 153 00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:53,359 TIME COMES, HE TRIES TO CLAIM ALL HIS GARBAGE AS A BUSINESS 154 00:08:53,359 --> 00:08:54,227 EXPENSE. THIS YEAR HE HAD A FEW ITEMS HE 155 00:08:54,227 --> 00:08:56,062 WASN'T SURE IF HE COULD CLAIM, SO HE ASKED IF HE COULD PUT THEM 156 00:08:56,062 --> 00:08:57,664 ON THE SHOW TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE DEDUCTIBLE. 157 00:08:57,664 --> 00:08:59,465 SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE, GARY, LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK. 158 00:08:59,465 --> 00:09:00,533 >> THANKS JIMMY. I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS. 159 00:09:00,533 --> 00:09:02,201 FIRST, I HAVE A JOE CAMEL VENTRILOQUIST PUPPET. 160 00:09:02,201 --> 00:09:04,737 IN THE COMEDY BUSINESS, YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU WILL NEED 161 00:09:04,737 --> 00:09:05,638 ONE OF THESE. NEXT, WE HAVE A MANICURIST 162 00:09:05,638 --> 00:09:11,277 TRAINING HAND. 163 00:09:11,277 --> 00:09:15,381 IT'S GOT REMOVABLE NAILS. IT'S ALSO GOOD FOR SOCIAL 164 00:09:15,381 --> 00:09:18,718 DISTANCE HAND SHAKES. I WANT TO WRITE OFF A FEW RECORD 165 00:09:18,718 --> 00:09:23,389 ALBUMS, "VIVA LES CREPES," ALL ABOUT THE ART OF CREPE‐MAKING, 166 00:09:23,389 --> 00:09:27,393 "HOW TO MAKE YOUR TEENS TERRIFIC," AND "HOW TO GET YOUR 167 00:09:27,393 --> 00:09:34,467 TEEN A SUMMER JOB." TWO ALBUMS THAT WILL REALLY HELP 168 00:09:34,467 --> 00:09:42,442 MAKE YOUR KID HATE YOUR GUTS. AND THIS IS "LEARN TO SKI." 169 00:09:42,442 --> 00:09:44,744 THEY SAY THE BEST WAY TO LEARN 170 00:09:44,744 --> 00:09:51,250 TO SKI IS BY LISTENING TO A RECORD. 171 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,185 "WIFE SWAPPING SWINGERS ORGY PORGY PARTY." 172 00:09:52,185 --> 00:09:59,826 AND THIS THREE‐HEADED DOLL, WHO I AM CLAIMING AS A DEPENDENT. 173 00:09:59,826 --> 00:10:06,733 WHICH HAS HAPPY FACE, SLEEPY FACE AND DRUNK FACE. 174 00:10:06,733 --> 00:10:10,269 >> Jimmy: THREE DEPENDENTS, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. 175 00:10:10,269 --> 00:10:10,870 WHAT ABOUT THAT SWEATER? 176 00:10:10,870 --> 00:10:12,472 >> OH. THIS IS JUST WHAT I WORE TO WORK. 177 00:10:12,472 --> 00:10:14,440 >> Jimmy: DEDUCTIBLE OR NOT, IT WAS MONEY WELL‐SPENT. 178 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:19,045 BECAUSE OF COVID, THE IRS IS SAID TO BE RUNNING WAY BEHIND ON 179 00:10:19,045 --> 00:10:20,279 TAX RETURNS THIS YEAR, WHICH MEANS THOUSANDS OF AMERICANS 180 00:10:20,279 --> 00:10:26,953 COULD BE WAITING A WHILE FOR THEIR REFUND CHECKS. 181 00:10:26,953 --> 00:10:33,092 SO TO HELP BRIDGE THAT GAP, TONIGHT WE'RE GIVING PEDESTRIANS 182 00:10:33,092 --> 00:10:35,261 A CHANCE TO WIN COLD HARD CASH. IT'S TIME TO PLAY, "ON THE 183 00:10:35,261 --> 00:10:38,331 MONEY!" THIS IS A FUN GAME. LET'S GO OUT TO HOLLYWOOD 184 00:10:38,331 --> 00:10:43,970 BOULEVARD TO MEET OUR FIRST CONTESTANT. 185 00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:45,438 HI, WHAT IS YOUR NAME? 186 00:10:45,438 --> 00:10:48,574 >> HI, MY NAME IS SIERRA WARD. 187 00:10:48,574 --> 00:10:51,077 >> Jimmy: OH, IT SAYS THAT RIGHT ON YOUR THING. 188 00:10:51,077 --> 00:10:55,615 THERE'S A WEED BUS GOING BY. SO WHERE ARE YOU FROM, SIERRA? 189 00:10:55,615 --> 00:10:58,117 >> I'M FROM SOUTH DAKOTA. 190 00:10:58,117 --> 00:11:00,753 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE FROM THE UNITED STATES. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK? 191 00:11:00,753 --> 00:11:02,655 >> I'M A STUDENT, ACTUALLY. 192 00:11:02,655 --> 00:11:04,791 >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU STUDYING? 193 00:11:04,791 --> 00:11:06,292 >> BIOCHEMISTRY. 194 00:11:06,292 --> 00:11:09,395 >> Jimmy: DO YOU KNOW MUCH ABOUT ECONOMICS, MONEY, ET CETERA? 195 00:11:09,395 --> 00:11:11,330 >> NOT REALLY, I'M PRETTY BAD. 196 00:11:11,330 --> 00:11:15,234 >> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT CURRENCY, 197 00:11:15,234 --> 00:11:18,738 U.S. CURRENCY. IF YOU ANSWER CORRECTLY, YOU WIN 198 00:11:18,738 --> 00:11:22,642 THAT CURRENCY. IF YOU ARE INCORRECT YOU LOSE. 199 00:11:22,642 --> 00:11:27,146 LET'S START WITH THE PENNY. WHO IS ON THE PENNY? 200 00:11:27,146 --> 00:11:29,081 >> OH. ABRAHAM LINCOLN? 201 00:11:29,081 --> 00:11:36,489 >> Jimmy: THAT IS CORRECT. ALL RIGHT. YOU HAVE A PENNY. 202 00:11:36,489 --> 00:11:41,561 DID YOU WANT TO KEEP THAT PENNY? DO YOU WANT TO WALK AWAY? 203 00:11:41,561 --> 00:11:43,296 DO YOU WANT TO RISK IT? 204 00:11:43,296 --> 00:11:46,065 >> I'LL RISK IT. 205 00:11:46,065 --> 00:11:47,266 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WHO IS ON THE NICKEL? 206 00:11:47,266 --> 00:11:49,101 >> NICKEL. YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHY I RISKED 207 00:11:49,101 --> 00:11:51,170 THIS. I SHOULD HAVE JUST TAKEN THE 208 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:54,774 PENNY, BUT, LET'S GO WITH, OH, I 209 00:11:54,774 --> 00:12:00,746 KNOW IT'S NOT BENJAMIN FRANKLIN. THAT'S $100. 210 00:12:00,746 --> 00:12:01,914 UM, GEORGE WASHINGTON. 211 00:12:01,914 --> 00:12:05,551 >> Jimmy: OH, I'M SO SORRY, SIERRA, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO 212 00:12:05,551 --> 00:12:07,587 GIVE THAT PENNY BACK, ALSO. 213 00:12:07,587 --> 00:12:09,055 >> THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT. 214 00:12:09,055 --> 00:12:13,693 >> Jimmy: SO SORRY, BUT THANK YOU FOR PLAYING "ON THE MONEY." 215 00:12:13,693 --> 00:12:15,661 WOW, TO SEE SOMEBODY GO OUT THAT EARLY. 216 00:12:15,661 --> 00:12:18,664 LET'S SEE IF WE HAVE ANOTHER CONTESTANT HERE AND SEE IF THEY 217 00:12:18,664 --> 00:12:22,468 CAN WIN SOME OF THE BIG MONEY. HELLO THERE, WHAT IS YOUR NAME? 218 00:12:22,468 --> 00:12:27,073 >> MY NAME IS SACARE YEAH HILL. 219 00:12:27,073 --> 00:12:30,776 >> Jimmy: WHERE ARE YOU FROM? 220 00:12:30,776 --> 00:12:34,113 >> DES MOINES, IOWA IF YOU'VE HEARD OF IT. 221 00:12:34,113 --> 00:12:36,449 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU HERE ON BUSINESS? 222 00:12:36,449 --> 00:12:39,485 >> I'M HERE ON BUSINESS. I'M TRYING TO FIND A JOB. 223 00:12:39,485 --> 00:12:42,021 >> Jimmy: WHAT KIND OF JOB ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? 224 00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:46,125 >> SOMETHING IN TECH. BUT I ALSO RUN A NON‐PROFIT AND 225 00:12:46,125 --> 00:12:47,293 TRYING TO BRANCH OUT. 226 00:12:47,293 --> 00:12:54,867 >> Jimmy: VERY GOOD. ARE YOU READY TO PLAY "ON THE 227 00:12:54,867 --> 00:12:55,234 MONEY? ". 228 00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:56,969 >> GENTLEMEN, LET'S DO IT. 229 00:12:56,969 --> 00:12:58,271 >> Jimmy: WHO'S ON THE PENNY? 230 00:12:58,271 --> 00:13:03,976 >> I KEEP A LOT OF DOLLARS, IS IT, LIKE, GEORGE WASHINGTON? 231 00:13:03,976 --> 00:13:07,880 >> Jimmy: I'M SO SORRY. I THOUGHT WE'D FLY BY THE PENNY. 232 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,615 NO, IT'S ABRAHAM LINCOLN. 233 00:13:09,615 --> 00:13:12,151 >> AH, I SHOULD HAVE KNEW THAT. 234 00:13:12,151 --> 00:13:18,491 >> Jimmy: YEAH, I'M SO SORRY, BUT YOU'RE A NONPROFIT GAME SHOW 235 00:13:18,491 --> 00:13:25,698 CONTESTANT, TOO. ALL RIGHT, THANKS, ZAKARIYAH. 236 00:13:25,698 --> 00:13:27,099 SORRY. LET'S TRY ONE MORE, AND THEN 237 00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:31,270 WE'LL GIVE UP, BECAUSE THIS IS RIDICULOUS. HI, KEITH. 238 00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,805 >> HI THERE. 239 00:13:32,805 --> 00:13:33,973 >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING? 240 00:13:33,973 --> 00:13:35,141 >> I'M DOING GOOD. 241 00:13:35,141 --> 00:13:40,579 >> Jimmy: I WAS GOING TO ASK WHAT YOUR NAME WAS, BUT I SAID 242 00:13:40,579 --> 00:13:43,916 HI KEITH. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK? 243 00:13:43,916 --> 00:13:45,618 >> I'M RETIRED. 244 00:13:45,618 --> 00:13:50,022 >> Jimmy: WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE YOU RETIRED. 245 00:13:50,022 --> 00:13:53,926 >> PART SOCIAL WORK, PART PAROLE OFFICER. 246 00:13:53,926 --> 00:13:58,097 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE REALLY RUNNING THE GAMUT, AREN'T YOU? 247 00:13:58,097 --> 00:14:00,099 >> NOT SO MUCH. 248 00:14:00,099 --> 00:14:02,001 >> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO ASK YOU A QUESTION. 249 00:14:02,001 --> 00:14:04,370 IF YOU GET IT RIGHT YOU GET TO KEEP THE MONEY. 250 00:14:04,370 --> 00:14:06,339 WHO IS ON THE PENNY, KEITH? 251 00:14:06,339 --> 00:14:10,443 >> ABRAHAM LINCOLN. 252 00:14:10,443 --> 00:14:13,012 >> Jimmy: THAT IS CORRECT. NOW, DO YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR 253 00:14:13,012 --> 00:14:14,780 WINNINGS OR KEEP GOING? 254 00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:16,649 >> I'LL DEFINITELY KEEP GOING. 255 00:14:16,649 --> 00:14:18,684 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO FOR IT. 256 00:14:18,684 --> 00:14:21,253 WHO, KEITH, IS ON THE NICKEL? 257 00:14:21,253 --> 00:14:22,521 >> THOMAS JEFFERSON. 258 00:14:22,521 --> 00:14:24,790 >> Jimmy: THAT IS RIGHT, KEITH, VERY GOOD. 259 00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:27,827 KEITH, YOU HAVE SIX CENTS, DO YOU WANT TO KEEP GOING? 260 00:14:27,827 --> 00:14:31,764 >> WELL, IT'S NOT GOING TO PAY THE MORTGAGE, SO I'LL KEEP GOING. 261 00:14:31,764 --> 00:14:34,767 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, KEITH, WHO IS ON THE DIME? 262 00:14:34,767 --> 00:14:36,469 >> UH, HAVE NO CLUE. 263 00:14:36,469 --> 00:14:37,770 >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T KNOW? 264 00:14:37,770 --> 00:14:39,205 >> NO CLUE. 265 00:14:39,205 --> 00:14:41,340 >> Jimmy: YOU WANT TO TAKE A GUESS? 266 00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:43,242 >> JOHN F. KENNEDY. 267 00:14:43,242 --> 00:14:49,782 >> Jimmy: OH, NO, I'M SO SORRY. THAT SIX CENTS BACK, FISH THAT 268 00:14:49,782 --> 00:14:54,820 OUT OF YOUR POCKET. THANK YOU FOR PLAYING "ON THE 269 00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:56,655 MONEY." EVERYONE'S GOING HOME EMPTY 270 00:14:56,655 --> 00:14:58,858 HANDED. I BELIEVE WE HAVE A CONSOLATION 271 00:14:58,858 --> 00:15:00,760 PRIZE. DICKEY, WHAT DO WE HAVE? 272 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:05,164 >> Dicky: ALL OF OUR CONTESTANTS WILL RECEIVE THE "ON THE MONEY" 273 00:15:05,164 --> 00:15:08,968 HOME GAME, RETAIL VALUE, 41 CENTS. 274 00:15:08,968 --> 00:15:10,403 >> Jimmy: WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU 275 00:15:10,403 --> 00:15:11,270 TONIGHT‐ KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE IS HERE. 276 00:15:11,270 --> 00:15:12,738 WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM ROYAL BLOOD. AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 277 00:15:12,738 --> 00:15:14,407 GABRIELLE UNION AND DWAYNE WADE. 278 00:15:21,857 --> 00:15:25,457 ♪ 279 00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:26,740 >> Jimmy: HI, WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW. 280 00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:28,008 TONIGHT, FROM THE NEW DISNEY FILM, "CRUELLA," 281 00:15:28,008 --> 00:15:29,877 KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE IS HERE. THEN LATER, TWO MEN WHO MAKE A 282 00:15:29,877 --> 00:15:32,913 WHOLE LOT OF NOISE. THEIR ALBUM IS CALLED "TYPHOONS." 283 00:15:32,913 --> 00:15:35,983 MUSIC FROM ROYAL BLOOD. TOMORROW NIGHT, DON CHEADLE AND 284 00:15:35,983 --> 00:15:39,653 PATTI HARRISON WILL JOIN US WITH MUSIC FROM LAKE STREET DIVE. 285 00:15:39,653 --> 00:15:42,222 AND THURSDAY, RYAN SEACREST, YVONNE ORJI, AND MUSIC FROM 286 00:15:42,222 --> 00:15:44,958 COUNTING CROWS. OUR FIRST GUESTS ARE THE PERFECT 287 00:15:44,958 --> 00:15:49,796 MODERN COUPLE. ONE MAKES MOVIES, THE OTHER IS A 288 00:15:49,796 --> 00:15:53,200 THREE‐TIME NBA CHAMPION. THEIR NEW BOOK FOR KIDS IS 289 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,968 CALLED "SHADY BABY." PLEASE SAY HELLO TO 290 00:15:54,968 --> 00:16:00,174 GABRIELLE UNION AND DWAYNE WADE. HELLO. 291 00:16:00,174 --> 00:16:04,244 HOW ARE YOU? 292 00:16:04,244 --> 00:16:04,778 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 293 00:16:04,778 --> 00:16:07,614 GOOD TO SEE YOU GUYS. WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? 294 00:16:07,614 --> 00:16:09,216 >> WE'RE IN L. A. 295 00:16:09,216 --> 00:16:12,719 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE IN L. A. YOU'RE AT HOME I ASSUME? 296 00:16:12,719 --> 00:16:13,287 >> YEAH. 297 00:16:13,287 --> 00:16:16,089 >> Jimmy: OKAY, DID YOU HAPPEN TO SEE THE SHOW LAST NIGHT? 298 00:16:16,089 --> 00:16:19,393 SHAQ WAS ON, AND HE WAS TALKING ABOUT, DWAYNE, HE WAS TALKING 299 00:16:19,393 --> 00:16:26,266 ABOUT YOUR HOUSE IN MIAMI, AND HE SAID HE WAS UNIMPRESSED BY 300 00:16:26,266 --> 00:16:26,667 THE HOME. 301 00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:31,638 >> YEAH, SO HE'S TALKING ABOUT MY FIRST HOME THAT I'VE EVER 302 00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:35,409 OWNED IN MY LIFE. 303 00:16:35,409 --> 00:16:36,610 >> Jimmy: OKAY. I SEE. 304 00:16:36,610 --> 00:16:40,948 >> SO IT WASN'T BAD. IT JUST WASN'T, SHAQ WAS LIVING 305 00:16:40,948 --> 00:16:43,483 IN A $20 MILLION HOUSE OFF THE WATER. 306 00:16:43,483 --> 00:16:44,718 >> Jimmy: UH‐HUH. 307 00:16:44,718 --> 00:16:50,424 >> I WAS LIVING IN DORAL IN A $500,000 IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 308 00:16:50,424 --> 00:16:52,893 >> Jimmy: GABRIELE, DID YOU EVER SEE THAT HOUSE? 309 00:16:52,893 --> 00:16:55,629 WERE YOU EVER AT THAT FIRST HOUSE? YOU DIDN'T SEE IT. 310 00:16:55,629 --> 00:16:59,466 >> HE'S LIKE IT'S THE FIRST HOUSE, LIKE IT DRAMATICALLY 311 00:16:59,466 --> 00:17:03,670 IMPROVED THEREAFTER. IT DID NOT. HE TOOK THAT BAD TASTE AND 312 00:17:03,670 --> 00:17:06,907 CARRIED IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH UNTIL VERY RECENTLY. 313 00:17:06,907 --> 00:17:12,112 THE PLACE I MET HIM AT WAS WE STARTED CALLING "THE DORM ROOM." 314 00:17:12,112 --> 00:17:16,950 BECAUSE, FOR A GROWN‐ASS MAN TO LIVE LIKE A COLLEGE FRESHMAN IS 315 00:17:16,950 --> 00:17:20,587 A THING. A LOT OF BLACK LACQUERED 316 00:17:20,587 --> 00:17:23,223 FURNITURE, A LOT OF FAUX LEATHER FURNITURE. 317 00:17:23,223 --> 00:17:28,395 IT WAS A MASSIVE FISH TANK WITH A LOT OF DEAD FISH IN IT. 318 00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:32,266 >> TO ALL THE DUDES OUT THERE, WHAT'S UP? 319 00:17:32,266 --> 00:17:37,070 >> LIKE I'VE GOT TO PEE, BUT DO I HOVER, LIKE I'M AT A GAS 320 00:17:37,070 --> 00:17:41,241 STATION? YOU KNOW, LIKE, EW. IT WAS A LITTLE TOUCH AND GO. 321 00:17:41,241 --> 00:17:43,143 THEN WE GOT HIM RIGHT. 322 00:17:43,143 --> 00:17:44,745 >> Jimmy: I'M GLAD YOU GOT HIM RIGHT. 323 00:17:44,745 --> 00:17:48,782 WHEN YOU MOVED IN TOGETHER, DID YOU MOVE INTO ONE OF YOUR PLACES? 324 00:17:48,782 --> 00:17:52,252 OR DID YOU GET A PLACE TOGETHER? 325 00:17:52,252 --> 00:17:55,455 >> SHE MADE ME BUILD A HOME. 326 00:17:55,455 --> 00:17:58,025 >> Jimmy: BUILD A HOME. 327 00:17:58,025 --> 00:18:01,328 >> TOOK TWO YEARS TO BUILD IT, WE BUILT A HOME TOGETHER IN 328 00:18:01,328 --> 00:18:04,531 MIAMI, AND IT WAS WAY, WAY, WAY OVER MY BUDGET. 329 00:18:04,531 --> 00:18:09,536 I WAS COMFORTABLE WITH MY $500,000. AND IT WAS ‐‐ 330 00:18:09,536 --> 00:18:13,006 >> Jimmy: GABRIELE, DID YOU THROW OUT ALL OF DWAYNE'S STUFF? 331 00:18:13,006 --> 00:18:17,144 >> NONE OF THAT STUFF FROM THE DORM ROOM MADE IT. 332 00:18:17,144 --> 00:18:18,679 >> Jimmy: NONE OF IT. 333 00:18:18,679 --> 00:18:20,881 >> JIMMY, SHE DIDN'T HAVE TASTE EITHER. 334 00:18:20,881 --> 00:18:24,985 WE'RE NOT GOING TO SIT HERE LIKE SHE HAD AMAZING TASTE. 335 00:18:24,985 --> 00:18:27,854 >> WE DID DISCOVER AS WE WERE BUILDING THE HOUSE, WE MET WITH 336 00:18:27,854 --> 00:18:32,826 THIS WOMAN WHO HAD IMPECCABLE TASTE, AN AMAZING DESIGNER AND 337 00:18:32,826 --> 00:18:37,097 STARTS TALKING SMACK ABOUT A CELEBRITY WE ALL KNOW AND WHO 338 00:18:37,097 --> 00:18:43,770 WILL REMAIN NAMELESS AND HOW HORRIBLE THEIR TASTE BECAUSE, 339 00:18:43,770 --> 00:18:47,708 AND WE JUST HAD SEEN THEIR HOUSE AND THOUGHT IT WAS AMAZING. 340 00:18:47,708 --> 00:18:51,978 SO WE, TOO HAD HORRIBLE TASTE. WE HAD TO STEP IT UP. 341 00:18:51,978 --> 00:18:55,115 >> Jimmy: I FILE LIKE WE NEED THERAPY. 342 00:18:55,115 --> 00:18:57,818 HOW HAS IT BEEN SINCE DWAYNE RETIRED. 343 00:18:57,818 --> 00:19:00,420 IS IT GREAT TO HAVE HIM IN THE HOUSE ALL THE TIME? 344 00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:02,322 >> HE'S IN THE HOUSE ALL THE TIME. 345 00:19:02,322 --> 00:19:05,459 YOU KNOW, IT WAS GOOD, YOU KNOW, INITIALLY, BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE 346 00:19:05,459 --> 00:19:09,162 OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE HOME, AND WE'RE NEVER IN THE SAME PLACE AT 347 00:19:09,162 --> 00:19:11,898 THE SAME TIME, AND IT WAS LIKE, YEAH, YOU SAID THAT JOKE. 348 00:19:11,898 --> 00:19:13,633 I HEARD IT. 349 00:19:13,633 --> 00:19:17,037 >> Jimmy: MAYBE IT WASN'T A JOKE, DWAYNE. 350 00:19:17,037 --> 00:19:19,506 >> YOU KNOW, IT WAS NICE. IT WAS NICE. 351 00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:25,045 >> JIMMY, I'M JUST PICKING UP ODD JOBS NOW, I'M OPEN, ANYBODY 352 00:19:25,045 --> 00:19:29,883 OUT THERE, I'M OPEN. THE FIFTH LEAD IN THIS HOUSE NOW. 353 00:19:29,883 --> 00:19:31,818 THE DOGS ARE ABOVE ME AT THIS POINT. 354 00:19:31,818 --> 00:19:36,089 >> HE'S LIKE COLD CALLING PEOPLE IN THE AIRPORT, LIKE HE SEES A 355 00:19:36,089 --> 00:19:40,127 GUY, YOU KNOW, READING A GOLF BOOK, AND HE'S LIKE WALKING UP 356 00:19:40,127 --> 00:19:43,830 AND MAKING NEW RANDOM FRIENDS IN THE AIRPORT, I'M LIKE, WHAT DO 357 00:19:43,830 --> 00:19:48,802 YOU HAVE, THIS GUY IS LIKE A 75‐YEAR‐OLD DUDE READING A GOLF 358 00:19:48,802 --> 00:19:50,804 BOOK. WHAT ARE Y'ALL TALKING ABOUT? 359 00:19:50,804 --> 00:19:53,106 HE STILL TALKS TO THE MAN TO THIS DAY. 360 00:19:53,106 --> 00:19:57,377 >> SHOUT OUT TO BRADY. 361 00:19:57,377 --> 00:19:57,811 [ APPLAUSE ] 362 00:19:57,811 --> 00:20:00,814 >> Jimmy: I LIKED IT. WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE GOING TO GET 363 00:20:00,814 --> 00:20:04,885 A LOT BUSIER POSSIBLY, BECAUSE NOW THAT YOU ARE PART OWNER OF 364 00:20:04,885 --> 00:20:09,523 THE UTAH JAZZ, IS THAT OFFICIAL YET? HAS THAT BEEN LOCKED DOWN? 365 00:20:09,523 --> 00:20:09,856 [ APPLAUSE ] 366 00:20:09,856 --> 00:20:15,796 >> IT'S OFFICIAL. THAN THANK YOU. 367 00:20:15,796 --> 00:20:19,666 >> Jimmy: AND GABRIELE, THAT MAKES YOU ALSO PART OWNER OF THE 368 00:20:19,666 --> 00:20:21,802 UTAH JAZZ, TOO, YES? 369 00:20:21,802 --> 00:20:29,376 >> NO, THERE ARE THESE THINGS CALLED PRE‐NUPS. 370 00:20:29,376 --> 00:20:36,149 I NEED TO RE‐UP THE PRENUP. 371 00:20:36,149 --> 00:20:39,519 >> Jimmy: WILL YOU GUIYS BE MOVING TO SALT LAKE CITY? 372 00:20:39,519 --> 00:20:42,522 >> WE WON'T BE MOVING. I GOT VERY STRICT DIRECTIONS, 373 00:20:42,522 --> 00:20:45,826 JIMMY, ONCE I RETIRED THAT I HAVE TO LIVE WHEREVER MY WIFE 374 00:20:45,826 --> 00:20:49,763 TELL US WE HAVE TO LIVE. SO L. A. IS WHERE WE'RE GOING TO 375 00:20:49,763 --> 00:20:51,465 LIVE. BUT WE WILL DEFINITELY HAVE A 376 00:20:51,465 --> 00:20:54,267 LITTLE PLACE PROBABLY IN PARK CITY AT SOME POINT. 377 00:20:54,267 --> 00:20:59,706 I'M NOT GOING TO SKI. I'LL BE INSIDE AT THE LOUNGE 378 00:20:59,706 --> 00:21:02,075 CHILLING, DRINKING SOME WADE WINE AND WAITING FOR HER TO GET 379 00:21:02,075 --> 00:21:02,742 OFF THE ICE. 380 00:21:02,742 --> 00:21:08,381 >> HE'S TERRIBLE SKIING. IT'S LIKE SHREK ON SKIS. 381 00:21:08,381 --> 00:21:09,349 IT WAS A SIGHT. 382 00:21:09,349 --> 00:21:13,820 >> Jimmy: I FEEL LIKE WE'RE AT DWAYNE'S ROAST RIGHT NOW. 383 00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:15,922 >> THAT'S RIGHT. I FEEL THE SAME WAY. 384 00:21:15,922 --> 00:21:18,325 I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL. 385 00:21:18,325 --> 00:21:21,995 >> Jimmy: DWAYNE, SHAQ SAID LAST NIGHT YOU GUYS MADE THAT BET 386 00:21:21,995 --> 00:21:26,099 LAST SEASON ON THE NBA FINALS, HEAT AND LAKERS. 387 00:21:26,099 --> 00:21:31,171 AND YOU BET YOUR MVP TROPHIES, AND HE SAYS YOU HAVE NOT COUGHED 388 00:21:31,171 --> 00:21:33,340 UP YOUR MVP TROPHY FOR HIM. 389 00:21:33,340 --> 00:21:37,911 >> YEAH, I GOT IT HERE. I'VE BEEN MEANING TO BRING IT. 390 00:21:37,911 --> 00:21:42,249 I JUST KEEP FORGETTING IT. YOU CAN'T CHECK THIS AT THE 391 00:21:42,249 --> 00:21:44,017 AIRPORT. SO SHAQ WILL HAVE TO COME TO MY 392 00:21:44,017 --> 00:21:45,519 HOUSE AND GET IT. 393 00:21:45,519 --> 00:21:49,055 >> Jimmy: SHAQ CAN MAKE A NICE EARRING OUT OF THAT THING, I 394 00:21:49,055 --> 00:21:51,958 THINK. YOU GUYS HAVE A NEW BOOK. WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT 395 00:21:51,958 --> 00:21:56,096 WHEN WE COME BACK, IT'S CALLED "SHADY BABY", GABRIELE UNION AND 396 00:21:56,096 --> 00:21:57,886 DWYANE WADE ARE WITH US. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 397 00:22:05,508 --> 00:22:06,257 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW. 398 00:22:06,257 --> 00:22:12,496 KIRBY HOWELL BAPTISTE AND MUSIC FROM ROYAL BLOOD ARE COMING UP. 399 00:22:12,496 --> 00:22:18,402 THIS IS A CHILDREN'S BOOK. 400 00:22:18,402 --> 00:22:22,573 "SHADY BABY", WHICH IS A NICKNAME FOR YOUR DAUGHTER? 401 00:22:22,573 --> 00:22:22,906 >> YEAH. 402 00:22:22,906 --> 00:22:28,446 >> YEAH, OUR DAUGHTER. THE WORLD HAS BEEN ABLE TO KIND 403 00:22:28,446 --> 00:22:31,482 OF FOLLOW SINCE BIRTH, HAS BEEN ABLE TO KIND OF FOLLOW HER 404 00:22:31,482 --> 00:22:33,851 THROUGH HER EXPRESSIONS, HER DAY IN THE LIFE. 405 00:22:33,851 --> 00:22:39,023 AND SHE HAS THIS NICKNAME CALLED SHADY BABY, WHERE SHE GIVES OFF 406 00:22:39,023 --> 00:22:42,526 A LOT OF SHADE TO PEOPLE WHO ARE, LET'S SAY IN THE AREA OF 407 00:22:42,526 --> 00:22:45,963 LIFE, OF HER LIFE. SHE GIVES OFF SHADE TO THEM. 408 00:22:45,963 --> 00:22:50,901 AND MY WIFE AND I DECIDED TO REBRAND WHAT SHADE WAS. 409 00:22:50,901 --> 00:22:54,038 WHEN LITTLE GIRLS GROW UP, AND SOMETIMES LITTLE BLACK GIRLS, 410 00:22:54,038 --> 00:22:57,241 SHADE CAN COME OFF AS BEING SOMETHING AS ‐‐ 411 00:22:57,241 --> 00:22:58,342 >> LIKE NEGATIVE. 412 00:22:58,342 --> 00:23:01,912 >> YEAH, A NEGATIVE THING. RIGHT, SO WE WANTED TO MAKE SURE 413 00:23:01,912 --> 00:23:05,883 THAT PEOPLE UNDERSTOOD THAT HER LOOKS AND WHAT SHE GIVES YOU IS 414 00:23:05,883 --> 00:23:09,086 NOT HER NEGATIVE, BUT HER SUPER POWER. 415 00:23:09,086 --> 00:23:12,623 THIS IS HER TELLING PEOPLE, HEY, GET OUT OF MY PERSONAL SPACE. 416 00:23:12,623 --> 00:23:16,527 I DON'T LIKE THAT. WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE 417 00:23:16,527 --> 00:23:17,528 THAT. ALL THESE DIFFERENT REASONS WHY 418 00:23:17,528 --> 00:23:20,464 SHE GIVES SHADE IS NOT THE TYPICAL DEFINITION OF WHAT SHADE 419 00:23:20,464 --> 00:23:21,899 IS TO THE WORLD. 420 00:23:21,899 --> 00:23:25,336 >> Jimmy: DOES SHE KNOW THAT THIS BOOK IS ABOUT HER? > NO. 421 00:23:25,336 --> 00:23:28,873 >> SHE GETS THAT THE GIRL ON THE COVER IS HER. 422 00:23:28,873 --> 00:23:31,509 BUT THEN SHE WAS LIKE, OH, LOOK INSIDE. 423 00:23:31,509 --> 00:23:36,814 AND WE'RE LIKE, THAT'S YOU, THAT'S YOUR DOG, THAT'S ZIAH. 424 00:23:36,814 --> 00:23:43,554 THAT'S MOM AND DAD. 425 00:23:43,554 --> 00:23:44,989 >> BABY. 426 00:23:44,989 --> 00:23:50,661 >> SHE'S LIKE SHE DOESN'T GET IT. IF WE SHOW HER A PICTURE OF 427 00:23:50,661 --> 00:23:56,534 BEYONCE, SHE DOESN'T GET THAT BEYONCE IS THE SAME LADY FROM 428 00:23:56,534 --> 00:23:56,934 "SINGLE LADIES ". 429 00:23:56,934 --> 00:23:58,169 >> Jimmy: BECAUSE SHE'S A KID, RIGHT? 430 00:23:58,169 --> 00:24:00,905 >> SHE'S 2 1/2. 431 00:24:00,905 --> 00:24:04,375 >> Jimmy: AND YET HOW MANY FOLLOWERS DOES SHE HAVE ON 432 00:24:04,375 --> 00:24:04,708 INSTAGRAM? 433 00:24:04,708 --> 00:24:07,645 >> A LITTLE LESS THAN 2 MILLION. WE HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT 434 00:24:07,645 --> 00:24:11,882 COME TO US AND TELL US EVERY NIGHT BEFORE BED THEY WATCH OUR 435 00:24:11,882 --> 00:24:15,086 DAUGHTER'S INSTAGRAM PAGE FOR CONTENT, FOR LAUGHTER. 436 00:24:15,086 --> 00:24:19,423 IT'S LIKE NETFLIX AND CHILL IS LIKE SHADY BABY AND GO TO SLEEP. 437 00:24:19,423 --> 00:24:22,026 >> Jimmy: WHEN THEY TELL YOU THAT, DO YOU CALL THE POLICE? 438 00:24:22,026 --> 00:24:24,161 >> IT GETS A LITTLE WEIRD. 439 00:24:24,161 --> 00:24:31,635 IT GETS A LITTLE WIREDEIRD ADT , 440 00:24:31,635 --> 00:24:35,539 BUT WE LOVE IT. WE LOVE THAT WE CAN SHARE THIS 441 00:24:35,539 --> 00:24:38,309 CHARACTER WITH THE WORLD. THEY'RE ABLE TO GO INTO THAT 442 00:24:38,309 --> 00:24:41,679 WORLD AND LAUGH, BECAUSE SHE SAYS THINGS OR MAKES FACES THE 443 00:24:41,679 --> 00:24:43,747 WAY THAT THEY WOULD. SO WE LOVE THAT. 444 00:24:43,747 --> 00:24:46,016 >> Jimmy: I WAS READING IT TODAY. 445 00:24:46,016 --> 00:24:51,755 AND I'M GOING TO READ THIS TO MY KIDS, BUT I DID NOTICE THAT 446 00:24:51,755 --> 00:24:54,225 GABRIELE, YOU WERE IN THIS LIKE FIVE TIMES, AND DWAYNE, YOU ARE 447 00:24:54,225 --> 00:24:58,229 IN IT OFFICIALLY ONE TIME, AND YOUR LEGS ARE IN IT ANOTHER TIME. 448 00:24:58,229 --> 00:25:03,467 BUT, YEAH. LIKE YOU'RE IN IT ONE AND A HALF 449 00:25:03,467 --> 00:25:03,832 TIMES. 450 00:25:03,832 --> 00:25:10,574 >> THAT'S PRETTY ACCURATE, I MEAN. THEY COME TO ME FOR CERTAIN 451 00:25:10,574 --> 00:25:10,907 THINGS. 452 00:25:10,907 --> 00:25:14,845 >> IN THE NEXT BOOK, IT WILL BE D AND BRADY FROM THE AIRPORT. 453 00:25:14,845 --> 00:25:21,552 AND THAT WILL BE A WHOLE DIFFERENT SHADY, AN OLD STRAIGHT 454 00:25:21,552 --> 00:25:24,855 WHITE GUY. HER DAD PICKED UP IN THE AIRPORT. 455 00:25:24,855 --> 00:25:27,858 >> Jimmy: GABRIELE, IS THAT SADE ON YOUR SHIRT? 456 00:25:27,858 --> 00:25:31,996 >> YES, THE GODDESS. HEY. 457 00:25:31,996 --> 00:25:35,299 >> Jimmy: IS THAT SADE, BABY? IS THAT WHY YOU WORE THAT? 458 00:25:35,299 --> 00:25:38,269 JUST MAYBE A SUB CONSCIOUS THING GOING ON THERE? 459 00:25:38,269 --> 00:25:42,673 >> I LOVE IT. AND THEN I TRY TO GIVE YOU THE 460 00:25:42,673 --> 00:25:46,043 SADE LONG OLD PONYTAIL, YOU KNOW, AS AN HOMAGE. 461 00:25:46,043 --> 00:25:49,713 >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT, YOU GUYS ARE ALSO INVOLVED IN, TELL US 462 00:25:49,713 --> 00:25:51,882 ABOUT THIS PROJECT YOU'RE INVOLVED WITH RIGHT NOW. 463 00:25:51,882 --> 00:25:55,853 >> SO WE'RE IN THE DON'T SKIP CAMPAIGN WHERE WE PARTNERED UP 464 00:25:55,853 --> 00:26:02,092 WITH THIS NON‐PROFIT CAMPAIGN TO VACCINATE YOUR FAMILY. 465 00:26:02,092 --> 00:26:07,031 WE PARTNERED TO REMIND PARENTS TO DON'T SKIP THEIR WELL VISITS 466 00:26:07,031 --> 00:26:10,501 WITH THEIR DOCTOR AND ANY DOCTOR‐RECOMMENDED VACCINES AND 467 00:26:10,501 --> 00:26:13,237 ALSO TO REMIND PEOPLE THAT KIDS ARE GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. 468 00:26:13,237 --> 00:26:17,775 MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVEN'T, YOU KNOW, MISSED ANY OF THEIR 469 00:26:17,775 --> 00:26:18,776 REGULARLY‐SCHEDULED VACCINATIONS. 470 00:26:18,776 --> 00:26:26,717 YOU CAN GET MORE INFORMATION AT 471 00:26:26,717 --> 00:26:28,452 DON'TSKIPVACCINES.COM. DON'T SKIP A LOT OF THINGS 472 00:26:28,452 --> 00:26:33,123 DURING THE PANDEMIC. DON'T SKIP THOSE WELL VISITS AND 473 00:26:33,123 --> 00:26:35,926 VACCINATIONS. JUST TALKING ABOUT GETTING 474 00:26:35,926 --> 00:26:37,094 REACQUAINTED WITH YOUR DOCTORS. 475 00:26:37,094 --> 00:26:40,731 >> Jimmy: WHO WINS, LAKERS OR WARRIORS IN THAT GAME OR ONE 476 00:26:40,731 --> 00:26:43,300 GAME NO WAY TO DECIDE? NOT THAT YOU REALLY KNOW 477 00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:48,105 ANYTHING, YOU LOST YOUR MVP TROPHY LAST YEAR. 478 00:26:48,105 --> 00:26:52,543 >> SINCE I HAVE, SINCE I AM A PART OWNER OF THE UTAH JAZZ, I 479 00:26:52,543 --> 00:26:54,945 CAN'T SAY THAT. YOU GOT TO PICK. 480 00:26:54,945 --> 00:27:00,050 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I LIVE HERE IN L. A., I'M A LAKERS 481 00:27:00,050 --> 00:27:04,822 FAN. CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THIS STUFF YOU GOT GOING ON. 482 00:27:04,822 --> 00:27:07,958 GABRIELE UNION AND DWYANE WADE. THEY'RE GETTING ALONG. 483 00:27:07,958 --> 00:27:10,194 IT'S FOR FUN. A LOT OF THIS STUFF IS JUST FOR 484 00:27:10,194 --> 00:27:12,196 FUN, RIGHT? 485 00:27:12,196 --> 00:27:13,564 >> YEP. 486 00:27:13,564 --> 00:27:16,000 >> Jimmy: "SHADY BABY" IS AVAILABLE NOW. 487 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:22,206 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE. THANKS, GUYS. 488 00:27:22,206 --> 00:27:22,571 ♪ 489 00:27:29,244 --> 00:27:31,651 >> Jimmy: HI THERE. MUSIC FROM ROYAL BLOOD IS ON THE 490 00:27:31,651 --> 00:27:32,451 WAY. YOU KNOW OUR NEXT GUEST FROM A 491 00:27:32,451 --> 00:27:34,020 VARIETY OF QUALITY TELEVISION SHOWS LIKE "THE GOOD PLACE," 492 00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:36,956 "KILLING EVE," AND "BARRY," TOO. 493 00:27:36,956 --> 00:27:44,163 HER NEW MOVIE IS "CRUELLA." 494 00:27:44,163 --> 00:27:47,433 >> STELLA, IT'S BEEN SO LONG. 495 00:27:47,433 --> 00:27:51,971 >> YOU KNOW, I KEPT STARING AT YOU AT THE PARTY, AND THEN IT 496 00:27:51,971 --> 00:27:55,842 CAME TO ME. THAT'S ESTELLA FROM SCHOOL. 497 00:27:55,842 --> 00:28:01,581 >> IT'S NOT ESTELLA. THAT'S THE PAST. I'M CRUELLA. 498 00:28:01,581 --> 00:28:02,682 >> Jimmy: "CRUELLA" IS IN THEATRES AND ON DISNEY PLUS 499 00:28:02,682 --> 00:28:05,218 PREMIER ACCESS A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. PLEASE WELCOME 500 00:28:05,218 --> 00:28:11,357 KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE. 501 00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:14,493 ♪ 502 00:28:14,493 --> 00:28:27,006 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 503 00:28:27,006 --> 00:28:28,474 >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU? 504 00:28:28,474 --> 00:28:30,343 >> I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? 505 00:28:30,343 --> 00:28:34,313 >> Jimmy: I'M GOOD, THANK YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHY THERE ARE TWO 506 00:28:34,313 --> 00:28:35,982 CHAIRS THERE. THE CHAIR'S JUST TO BLOCK YOU 507 00:28:35,982 --> 00:28:38,584 FROM COMING AROUND THE CORNER AND TO CONFUSE. 508 00:28:38,584 --> 00:28:42,455 >> WELL, TO BE FAIR, SOMEONE TOLD ME EXACTLY WHAT TO DO 509 00:28:42,455 --> 00:28:43,723 BEHIND, BACK STAGE. 510 00:28:43,723 --> 00:28:46,826 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW HOW THAT GOES, AS SOON AS YOU HEAR THE 511 00:28:46,826 --> 00:28:48,628 MUSIC IT LEAVES YOUR HEAD. 512 00:28:48,628 --> 00:28:49,629 >> 100%. 513 00:28:49,629 --> 00:28:51,130 >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING? 514 00:28:51,130 --> 00:28:51,964 >> I'M GOOD. 515 00:28:51,964 --> 00:28:55,334 >> Jimmy: WE USED TO HAVE A MOVIE PREMIERE EVERY WEEK IN 516 00:28:55,334 --> 00:28:57,303 THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, SOMETIMES TWO A WEEK. 517 00:28:57,303 --> 00:29:00,673 THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU'RE HAVING A PREMIERE, THE FIRST ONE 518 00:29:00,673 --> 00:29:03,009 IN MORE THAN A YEAR. IT'S EXCITING. 519 00:29:03,009 --> 00:29:07,914 >> YEAH, IT'S EXCITING. 520 00:29:07,914 --> 00:29:10,883 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU SEEP TN THE MOVIE, THE WHOLE MOVIE? 521 00:29:10,883 --> 00:29:14,887 >> I HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE, BUT I DIDN'T SEE IT THE WAY YOU SHOULD 522 00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:17,857 SEE IT. I SAW IT ON A TINY LITTLE LAPTOP 523 00:29:17,857 --> 00:29:19,992 WITH WATERMARKS ALL OVER IT. 524 00:29:19,992 --> 00:29:23,195 >> Jimmy: I HAVEN'T SEEN IT, BUT I HEARD IT'S GREAT. 525 00:29:23,195 --> 00:29:24,430 >> I'M EXCITED ABOUT IT. 526 00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:25,364 >> Jimmy: I BET YOU ARE. 527 00:29:25,364 --> 00:29:30,236 >> YEAH. IT'S LIKE THE RETURN OF, PEOPLE 528 00:29:30,236 --> 00:29:32,772 ARE COMFORTABLE GOING BACK OUT. 529 00:29:32,772 --> 00:29:35,608 >> Jimmy: ABSOLUTELY. BY THE WAY, I HEARD ABOUT THIS, 530 00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:39,545 AND I WAS TALKING EARLIER ABOUT HOW PEOPLE HAVE LOST THE ABILITY 531 00:29:39,545 --> 00:29:43,316 TO DRIVE OVER THIS PANDEMIC, AS PEOPLE HAVEN'T BEEN DRIVING MUCH 532 00:29:43,316 --> 00:29:47,420 AND THEY KIND OF GET RUSTY OR WHATEVER. 533 00:29:47,420 --> 00:29:47,785 >> YEAH. 534 00:29:47,785 --> 00:29:50,156 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE A DRIVING STORY, YOU HAVE A VISUAL AID I 535 00:29:50,156 --> 00:29:53,659 WILL HOLD OFF ON, BUT I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR THE STORY FROM YOU. 536 00:29:53,659 --> 00:29:57,530 >> YEAH, I CAN RELATE, I'M FROM LONDON, SO NOT, I DIDN'T HAVE TO 537 00:29:57,530 --> 00:30:01,901 DRIVE FOR MOST OF MY LIFE. ANYWAY, WHEN I MOVED OUT HERE, A 538 00:30:01,901 --> 00:30:05,671 LITTLE WHILE AFTER BEING HERE, I WAS LIKE, I SHOULD TAKE A ROAD 539 00:30:05,671 --> 00:30:07,206 TRIP. I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. 540 00:30:07,206 --> 00:30:14,647 IT FEELS LIKE QUINTESSENTIALLY AMERICAN AND A FRIEND OF MINE 541 00:30:14,647 --> 00:30:17,450 AND I WENT UP THE COAST. SO I TRAVELLED FROM SANTA ROSA, 542 00:30:17,450 --> 00:30:21,620 AND I SPENT A COUPLE NIGHTS IN BIG SUR, AND THEN I WAS LIKE, 543 00:30:21,620 --> 00:30:29,428 OH, I'VE NEVER BEEN HEARST 544 00:30:29,428 --> 00:30:30,563 CASTLE. 545 00:30:30,563 --> 00:30:32,398 >> Jimmy: IT'S THIS BIG BEAUTIFUL CASTLE. 546 00:30:32,398 --> 00:30:36,569 >> I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WENT, AND IT'S KIND OF SHAMEFUL I'VE NEVER 547 00:30:36,569 --> 00:30:39,472 BEEN. IT'S NOT THAT SHAMEFUL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THERE. 548 00:30:39,472 --> 00:30:41,741 IT'S NOT LIKE NOT VOTING, YOU KNOW. 549 00:30:41,741 --> 00:30:43,709 >> Jimmy: PEOPLE SAY IT'S REALLY COOL TO SEE. 550 00:30:43,709 --> 00:30:46,278 >> EXACTLY. IT'S REALLY COOL TO SEE. 551 00:30:46,278 --> 00:30:49,582 IT'S OPULENT. THERE ARE ZEBRAS EVERYWHERE 552 00:30:49,582 --> 00:30:52,418 APPARENTLY, SO I WANTED TO SEE IT IN REAL LIFE. 553 00:30:52,418 --> 00:30:56,355 SO I'M DRIVING, AND WHEN I LEAVE THE PLACE I'M STAYING IN BIG 554 00:30:56,355 --> 00:31:00,726 SUR, THERE'S TWO WAYS YOU CAN GO, A BEAUTIFUL SCENIC ROUTE AND 555 00:31:00,726 --> 00:31:04,997 THE FREEWAY. I'M LIKE, NO WAY, I'M GOING THE 556 00:31:04,997 --> 00:31:07,633 SCENIC ROUTE. SO I LEAVE WITH ABOUT A QUARTER 557 00:31:07,633 --> 00:31:11,170 TANK OF PETROL, GAS. OH, NO, INDEED. 558 00:31:11,170 --> 00:31:15,975 SO I LEAVE WITH A QUARTER TANK AND I'M DRIVING ALONG HIGHWAY 559 00:31:15,975 --> 00:31:20,646 ONE, AND IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU KNOW THAT SCENE IN "BIG 560 00:31:20,646 --> 00:31:24,016 LITTLE LIES." IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 561 00:31:24,016 --> 00:31:26,185 >> Jimmy: RIGHT ALONG THE OCEAN. 562 00:31:26,185 --> 00:31:30,856 >> ANYWAY, THERE'S A ROCK SLIDE, AND THEY'RE DIVERTING TRAFFIC, 563 00:31:30,856 --> 00:31:35,428 AND IT'S LIKE, OKAY, I HOPE I FIND SOMEWHERE TO FILL UP. 564 00:31:35,428 --> 00:31:39,865 I GO THROUGH THE FOREST, AND I IMMEDIATELY LOSE RECEPTION. 565 00:31:39,865 --> 00:31:43,803 MY CAR IS RUNNING LOW, AND I SHOULD HAVE FILLED IT UP. 566 00:31:43,803 --> 00:31:46,806 THAT'S MY BAD. I'M USING GOOGLE MAPS. 567 00:31:46,806 --> 00:31:50,342 YOU'LL KNOW THEY DID ME VERY WRONG IN THIS MOMENT. 568 00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:54,413 SO, I'M LIKE DRIVING ALONG. AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I'M OFF 569 00:31:54,413 --> 00:31:58,384 ROAD, AND LET ME JUST SAY I'M NOT IN AN OFF ROAD CAR. 570 00:31:58,384 --> 00:32:06,926 I'M IN A 2001 TOYOTA SOLARA. 571 00:32:06,926 --> 00:32:11,430 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I'M ON ARMY LAND, AND SIGNS THAT SAY DON'T 572 00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:15,768 GET OUT OF YOUR CAR BECAUSE THERE ARE POSSIBLE EXPLOSIVES. 573 00:32:15,768 --> 00:32:19,305 5 MILES PER HOUR. GO THROUGH PRIVATE PROPERTY ON A 574 00:32:19,305 --> 00:32:22,374 FARM. AND MEANWHILE, GPS IS SAYING 575 00:32:22,374 --> 00:32:28,047 YOU'RE DOING GOOD GIRL, I'M GOING THE WAY I'M MEANT TO BE 576 00:32:28,047 --> 00:32:31,617 GOING, SO I'M LIKE, OKAY, IF YOU SAY SO. SO I KEEP GOING. 577 00:32:31,617 --> 00:32:34,353 AND I'M LIKE, MY PETROL GOES DOWN. 578 00:32:34,353 --> 00:32:40,893 IT'S LIKE THE LIGHT COMES ON. EVERY TIME YOU GO DOWNHILL, POP 579 00:32:40,893 --> 00:32:43,829 IT INTO NEUTRAL. I'M DOING THAT, AND I'M 580 00:32:43,829 --> 00:32:47,266 TERRIFIED. AND THEN MY GPS TELLS ME I'M .5 581 00:32:47,266 --> 00:32:50,369 MILES AWAY FROM HEARST CASTLE. LIKE YOU DID IT. 582 00:32:50,369 --> 00:32:54,206 AS I'M GOING, I GO UP A BIT OF A HILL. 583 00:32:54,206 --> 00:32:57,143 THERE'S A FOREST, I COME THROUGH THE CLEARING AND I'M FACED WITH 584 00:32:57,143 --> 00:33:00,446 A CREEK IS WHAT I CALL IT. EVERYONE ELSE IS LIKE, THAT WAS 585 00:33:00,446 --> 00:33:02,848 A SMALL LAKE. IT WAS A CREEK THAT WAS PROBABLY 586 00:33:02,848 --> 00:33:08,287 ALMOST THE SIZE OF THIS STUDIO FLOOR. AND IN MY MIND, I SEE TIRE 587 00:33:08,287 --> 00:33:12,024 TRACKS ON THE OTHER SIDE, SO I'M LIKE, IT CAN'T BE THAT DEEP, CAN 588 00:33:12,024 --> 00:33:18,030 YOU MAKE IT IN YOUR 2001 SOLARA. I GUESS I DON'T KNOW HOW CARS 589 00:33:18,030 --> 00:33:22,067 WORK. SO I DRIVE THROUGH, AND I'M THREE QUARTERS OF THE WAY 590 00:33:22,067 --> 00:33:25,638 THROUGH, AND I'M LIKE, YOU DID IT. IT WAS WORTH IT. 591 00:33:25,638 --> 00:33:27,773 YOU'LL PROBABLY BREAK DOWN, BUT IT'S FINE. 592 00:33:27,773 --> 00:33:30,643 YOU WILL BE AT THE CASTLE AND GET TOWED FROM THERE. 593 00:33:30,643 --> 00:33:33,846 THREE QUARTERS OF THE WAY, I HEAR THIS CLICK. 594 00:33:33,846 --> 00:33:37,917 AND MY CAR IS DEAD IN THE WATER. AND YOU KNOW IN FILMS WHEN CARS 595 00:33:37,917 --> 00:33:40,519 DIE THERE'S SMOKE AND ALL THIS FANFARE. 596 00:33:40,519 --> 00:33:47,026 IT WAS SO ANTI‐CLIE AK PARTICULAR. 597 00:33:47,026 --> 00:33:49,395 WATER STARTS FLOODING INTO MY CAR. 598 00:33:49,395 --> 00:33:51,730 I GRAB ALL MY THINGS, WADE TO THE OTHER SIDE. 599 00:33:51,730 --> 00:33:55,668 THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN THE JOURNEY I HAVE RECEPTION. 600 00:33:55,668 --> 00:33:59,305 I CALL EMERGENCY SERVICES, AND THEY'RE LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU? 601 00:33:59,305 --> 00:34:02,675 AND I'M THINKING, YOU TELL ME. THIS IS IT. 602 00:34:02,675 --> 00:34:08,914 I WAS LOCATED BY HELICOPTER. THIS IS REAL. THAT'S MY CAR. 603 00:34:08,914 --> 00:34:11,784 >> Jimmy: HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THAT? 604 00:34:11,784 --> 00:34:13,919 >> THAT'S MY FIRST‐EVER CAR. 605 00:34:13,919 --> 00:34:16,088 >> Jimmy: YOU LOOK PRETTY HAPPY, 606 00:34:16,088 --> 00:34:21,227 >> YOU KNOW, I THINK MY MIND WAS RUNNING, I THINK I HAD SO MUCH 607 00:34:21,227 --> 00:34:24,797 ADRENALINE. HOW DID I GET OUT? I GOT LOCATED BY HELICOPTER, 608 00:34:24,797 --> 00:34:29,435 BECAUSE I WAS NOT ON A REAL ROAD. AND THEN I HAD A TOW TRUCK COME 609 00:34:29,435 --> 00:34:32,738 PICK ME UP, TOW THAT SAD LITTLE CAR OUT OF THE WATER. 610 00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:36,976 AND THE TOW TRUCK DRIVER WAS SO LOVELY. 611 00:34:36,976 --> 00:34:40,879 HE DROVE UP THE BACKSIDE OF HEARST CASTLE. 612 00:34:40,879 --> 00:34:43,716 IT'S A SERVICE ROAD, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ON IT. 613 00:34:43,716 --> 00:34:48,721 AND THE GUY'S LIKE, IT'S GOOD YOU DIDN'T GET THERE BECAUSE YOU 614 00:34:48,721 --> 00:34:52,825 WOULD HAVE BEEN ARRESTED. BUT THE GPS WAS TELLING ME HOW 615 00:34:52,825 --> 00:34:57,730 TO GET THERE LIKE I LIVED THERE, ANYWAY, HE WAS SO, SO LOVELY. 616 00:34:57,730 --> 00:35:00,566 AND THEN HIM AND HIS WIFE, HE WAS LIKE, MY WIFE WOULD KILL ME 617 00:35:00,566 --> 00:35:04,236 IF I DIDN'T OFFER YOU A PLACE TO STAY, SO YOU CAN STAY WITH US. 618 00:35:04,236 --> 00:35:05,871 SO I STAYED WITH HIM AND HIS WIFE. 619 00:35:05,871 --> 00:35:07,940 >> Jimmy: YOU WENT HOME WITH THE TOW TRUCK DRIVER. 620 00:35:07,940 --> 00:35:10,843 >> I WENT HOME WITH THE TOW TRUCK DRIVER. 621 00:35:10,843 --> 00:35:11,677 >> Jimmy: GOOD IDEA. 622 00:35:11,677 --> 00:35:16,882 >> I MET HIS LOVELY WIFE FIRST AT THIS CHRISTMAS FAIR, SO IT 623 00:35:16,882 --> 00:35:22,821 WAS LEGIT, YOU KNOW, THEN THEY, THEY TOOK, SHE TOOK ME TO A 624 00:35:22,821 --> 00:35:25,391 WINTER SOLSTICE PARTY. THAT'S NOT EVEN THE CRAZIEST 625 00:35:25,391 --> 00:35:27,259 PART. I WAS AT THIS PARTY, IT'S BEEN 626 00:35:27,259 --> 00:35:33,832 SUCH A LONG DAY, BEEN KIND OF TRAUMATIC, AND I'M LIKE, TIME TO 627 00:35:33,832 --> 00:35:38,037 GET HIGH. 628 00:35:38,037 --> 00:35:38,370 [ APPLAUSE ] 629 00:35:38,370 --> 00:35:42,374 SO THEN I'M LIKE SMOKING AND SMOKING, AND I LITERALLY, FOR 630 00:35:42,374 --> 00:35:45,944 THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE CANNOT GET HIGH. 631 00:35:45,944 --> 00:35:53,686 AND WHAT I ASSUME WAS HAPPENING WITH MY BIOLOGY WAS THAT MY 632 00:35:53,686 --> 00:35:56,555 BRAIN WENT, THAT'S ENOUGH FOR TODAY. 633 00:35:56,555 --> 00:35:58,223 >> Jimmy: DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN. 634 00:35:58,223 --> 00:36:00,993 >> NEVER. NEVER. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. 635 00:36:00,993 --> 00:36:05,564 I HAVE NEVER HAD A TANK OF PETROL THAT HAS NOT BEEN FULL 636 00:36:05,564 --> 00:36:08,133 SINCE. NEVER. IN FACT, I JUST SWITCHED TO 637 00:36:08,133 --> 00:36:09,935 ELECTRIC, AND I THAT I'S WHY. 638 00:36:09,935 --> 00:36:13,105 >> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. THANK YOU FOR TELLING US THAT 639 00:36:13,105 --> 00:36:13,470 STORY. 640 00:36:13,470 --> 00:36:16,041 >> THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME TELL YOU. 641 00:36:16,041 --> 00:36:20,546 >> Jimmy: THE MOVIE IS "CRUELLA." 642 00:36:20,546 --> 00:36:27,853 IT OPENS A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE, THE TOW 643 00:36:27,853 --> 00:36:30,689 TRUCK DRIVER'S FRIEND, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUSIC 644 00:36:30,689 --> 00:36:31,863 FROM ROYAL BLOOD. 645 00:36:38,222 --> 00:36:39,411 >> Jimmy: GET READY TO TURN IT UP. THEIR LATEST ALBUM IS CALLED 646 00:36:39,411 --> 00:36:41,647 "TYPHOONS." PLAYING THE TITLE TRACK, ROYAL 647 00:36:41,647 --> 00:36:43,482 BLOOD! 648 00:36:43,482 --> 00:36:53,358 ♪ 649 00:36:53,358 --> 00:36:56,695 ♪ RIP THE PLUG OUT THE RADIO 650 00:36:56,695 --> 00:37:02,534 SWITCH ME OFF PUT ME UNDER TILL I'M SKY HIGH ♪ 651 00:37:02,534 --> 00:37:05,671 ♪ GIVE ME VERTIGO 652 00:37:05,671 --> 00:37:10,542 LET ME KNOW WHEN IT'S OVER 'CAUSE ALL THESE CHEMICALS 653 00:37:10,542 --> 00:37:14,546 DANCING THROUGH MY VEINS ♪ 654 00:37:14,546 --> 00:37:15,113 ♪ THEY DON'T KILL THE CAUSE 655 00:37:15,113 --> 00:37:18,684 THEY JUST NUMB THE PAIN I NEED WAKING UP 656 00:37:18,684 --> 00:37:20,819 I SHOULD FACE THE TRUTH ♪ 657 00:37:20,819 --> 00:37:22,954 ♪ I COULD CALM THE STORM 658 00:37:22,954 --> 00:37:27,192 IF I WANTED TO TYPHOON ♪ 659 00:37:27,192 --> 00:37:28,660 ♪ MY THOUGHTS 660 00:37:28,660 --> 00:37:35,334 BECOMING PARASITES THAT LIVE TO KEEP ME TERRIFIED ♪ 661 00:37:35,334 --> 00:37:36,802 ♪ I TELL MYSELF 662 00:37:36,802 --> 00:37:40,105 I'LL BE ALRIGHT TYPHOONS KEEP ON RAGING 663 00:37:40,105 --> 00:37:51,149 AND I DON'T KNOW WHY ♪ 664 00:37:51,149 --> 00:37:55,454 ♪ TYPHOON 665 00:37:55,454 --> 00:37:59,358 FLASHBACKS I'M NOT LETTING GO TEAR ME UP ♪ 666 00:37:59,358 --> 00:38:03,428 ♪ CAST A SHADOW 667 00:38:03,428 --> 00:38:06,765 I GOT GAME FACE BUT IT'S ALL FOR SHOW 668 00:38:06,765 --> 00:38:10,936 CAN'T GIVE IT UP ♪ 669 00:38:10,936 --> 00:38:11,303 ♪ BLOW MY COVER 670 00:38:11,303 --> 00:38:15,440 'CAUSE ALL THESE CHEMICALS DANCING THROUGH MY VEINS 671 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:16,007 THEY DON'T KILL THE CAUSE ♪ 672 00:38:16,007 --> 00:38:17,843 ♪ THEY JUST NUMB THE PAIN 673 00:38:17,843 --> 00:38:22,414 I NEED WAKING UP I SHOULD FACE THE TRUTH ♪ 674 00:38:22,414 --> 00:38:24,616 ♪ I COULD CALM THE STORM 675 00:38:24,616 --> 00:38:26,051 IF I WANTED TO ♪ 676 00:38:26,051 --> 00:38:28,820 ♪ TYPHOON 677 00:38:28,820 --> 00:38:33,825 MY THOUGHTS BECOMING PARASITES THAT LIVE TO ♪ 678 00:38:33,825 --> 00:38:36,628 ♪ KEEP ME TERRIFIED 679 00:38:36,628 --> 00:38:39,898 I TELL MYSELF I'LL BE ALRIGHT ♪ 680 00:38:39,898 --> 00:38:41,633 ♪ TYPHOONS KEEP ON RAGING 681 00:38:41,633 --> 00:38:45,404 AND I DON'T KNOW WHY ♪ 682 00:38:45,404 --> 00:38:46,972 ♪ DARK MEMORIES 683 00:38:46,972 --> 00:38:50,509 LIKE LIGHTNING STRIKE SHAKE AND SWAY ME 684 00:38:50,509 --> 00:38:53,912 THROUGH THE NIGHT ♪ 685 00:38:53,912 --> 00:38:55,847 ♪ RAGING ON BEHIND MY EYES 686 00:38:55,847 --> 00:38:59,551 I'M DOOMED AND I'M WAITING FOR LIGHT IN MY SKY ♪ 687 00:38:59,551 --> 00:39:01,987 ♪ TYPHOONS KEEP ON RAGING 688 00:39:01,987 --> 00:39:04,856 AND I DON'T KNOW WHY 689 00:39:04,856 --> 00:39:22,941 TYPHOON ♪ 690 00:39:22,941 --> 00:39:33,919 ♪ 691 00:39:33,919 --> 00:39:34,252 ♪ 692 00:39:34,252 --> 00:39:37,656 ♪ MY THOUGHTS BECOMING 693 00:39:37,656 --> 00:39:37,989 PARASITES ♪ 694 00:39:37,989 --> 00:39:42,461 ♪ THEY LIVE TO KEEP ME 695 00:39:42,461 --> 00:39:42,794 TERRIFIED ♪ 696 00:39:42,794 --> 00:39:45,330 ♪ I TELL MYSELF I'LL BE ALL 697 00:39:45,330 --> 00:39:45,663 RIGHT ♪ 698 00:39:45,663 --> 00:39:50,101 ♪ MY THOUGHTS KEEP ON RAGING 699 00:39:50,101 --> 00:39:52,204 ♪ TYPHOON 700 00:39:52,204 --> 00:39:55,106 ♪ DARK MEMORIES 701 00:39:55,106 --> 00:39:58,510 ♪ SHAKE AND SWAY ME THROUGH THE 702 00:39:58,510 --> 00:39:59,311 NIGHT ♪ 703 00:39:59,311 --> 00:40:02,113 ♪ RAGING ON BEHIND MY EYES 704 00:40:02,113 --> 00:40:04,316 ♪ I'M DOOMED AND I'M WAITING FOR 705 00:40:04,316 --> 00:40:07,419 LIGHT IN MY SKY ♪ 706 00:40:07,419 --> 00:40:09,287 ♪ MY THOUGHTS KEEP ON MOVING AND 707 00:40:09,287 --> 00:40:20,265 I DON'T KNOW WHY ♪ 708 00:40:20,265 --> 00:40:20,630 ♪ 709 00:40:20,630 --> 00:40:23,001 ♪ 710 00:40:36,202 --> 00:40:36,932 >> Jimmy: THANKS TO GABRIELE UNION, DWYANE WADE, 711 00:40:36,932 --> 00:40:38,433 KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE AND ROYAL BLOOD. APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. 712 00:40:38,433 --> 00:40:39,834 TOMORROW NIGHT, WE HAVE DON CHEADLE AND PATTI HARRISON 713 00:40:39,834 --> 00:40:43,334 WITH MUSIC FROM LAKE STREET DIVE.