1 00:00:00,033 --> 00:00:00,667 >> Announcer: FROM HOLLYWOOD, 2 00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:01,168 IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!" 3 00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:02,636 TONIGHT ‐‐ 4 00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:04,738 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, PATTON OSWALT, 5 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:10,744 AND MUSIC FROM CHASE RICE. 6 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:13,981 AND NOW JIMMY KIMMEL! 7 00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:14,581 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 8 00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:14,982 HELLO, EVERYBODY. 9 00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:15,249 I'M JIMMY. 10 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:15,782 I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. 11 00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:18,485 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. 12 00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:19,086 I APPRECIATE IT. 13 00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:19,520 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 14 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,256 I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING. 15 00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:23,023 IT'S MONDAY. 16 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,025 IT'S NOT SO DIFFERENT FROM MOST 17 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,660 MONDAYS, EXCEPT FOR ONE KIND OF 18 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:30,531 BIG THING, AND THAT BIG THING IS 19 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:30,731 UFOs. 20 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:31,331 DID YOU SEE "60 MINUTES" LAST 21 00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:33,967 NIGHT? 22 00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,402 I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING. 23 00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:36,403 I'M NOT JOKING. 24 00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:40,440 NO, YOU DIDN'T WATCH. 25 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,975 >> Guillermo: NO, I DIDN'T 26 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:42,209 WATCH. 27 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:42,876 >> Jimmy: THE TRUTH IS NOT JUST 28 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:43,277 OUT THERE ANYMORE. 29 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,311 IT'S HERE. 30 00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:45,345 "60 MINUTES" DID A STORY LAST 31 00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:45,979 NIGHT, IN WHICH THEY INTERVIEWED 32 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:46,513 SOME VERY CREDIBLE FORMER 33 00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:48,448 PENTAGON AND MILITARY OFFICIALS. 34 00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:49,049 WHO HAD VIDEO AND EYEWITNESS 35 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,517 ACCOUNTS OF OBJECTS THAT FLY 36 00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:52,619 13,000 MILES PER HOUR, DROP 37 00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:54,254 80,000 FEET IN LESS THAN A 38 00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:55,822 SECOND, AND GO UNDERWATER. 39 00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:57,391 THE GOVERNMENT CALLS THEM 40 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,425 "UNIDENTIFIED AERIAL PHENOMENA." 41 00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:02,563 UAP. 42 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,499 JUST LIKE THE CARD BY B SONG. 43 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,034 THEY'VE KNOWN ABOUT THIS FOR A 44 00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,101 COUPLE OF YEARS, BUT WAITED 45 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,670 UNTIL NOW TO TALK ABOUT BECAUSE, 46 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:10,671 I GUESS, A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, 47 00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:11,738 THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO 48 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:12,372 EMBARRASSED IF THE ALIENS SAID, 49 00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:16,643 "TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER." 50 00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:17,277 THEY'D BE LIKE EH, NOT A GREAT 51 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:19,713 IDEA. 52 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:20,547 I CAN'T BELIEVE SO MANY PEOPLE 53 00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:21,448 DIDN'T SEE IT. 54 00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,216 I FEEL LIKE IF THIS STORY HAD 55 00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:25,218 BEEN ON "60 MINUTES" IN LIKE 56 00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:26,286 1988, IT WOULD BE THE ONLY THING 57 00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:26,887 WE TALK ABOUT FOR THE NEXT 30 58 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:27,921 YEARS. 59 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:28,555 IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BIGGEST 60 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:29,489 NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR. 61 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:33,026 NOW, IT'S LIKE, "YEAH." 62 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:34,428 OH, YEAH, I HEARD THAT. 63 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,096 AND I ALSO HEARD BILL GATES WAS 64 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,564 TRYING TO GET FREAKY WITH ONE OF 65 00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:40,200 HIS EMPLOYEES, RIGHT? 66 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,201 AFTER WATCHING THE STORY, YOU 67 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:42,235 ALMOST HOPE THEY'RE VISITORS 68 00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:43,804 FROM ANOTHER PLANET, BECAUSE IF 69 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,372 CHINA HAS TECHNOLOGY LIKE THIS, 70 00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:49,943 WE'D BETTERSTART LEARNING TO 71 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,044 SPEAK MANDARIN IMMEDIATELY. 72 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:53,580 I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. 73 00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:55,048 I WANT TO KNOW WHERE THEY COME 74 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,583 FROM, WHAT KIND OF ENGINES OR 75 00:01:56,583 --> 00:02:00,020 FUEL PROPELS THESE THINGS. 76 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:00,988 WHAT IS THIS INFORMATION THEY'VE 77 00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:03,223 BEEN TRYING TO FIND IN 78 00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:04,124 HILLBILLIES' BUTTS FOR ALL OF 79 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:04,424 THESE YEARS? 80 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:08,729 THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. 81 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:09,396 AND POOR MIKE PENCE IS MISSING 82 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,330 ALL OF IT. 83 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:10,964 THIS WAS HIS SHOT TO SUIT UP IN 84 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:11,598 THAT SPACE FORCE BOMBER JACKET 85 00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:12,132 AND BLAST OFF TO THE CRAB 86 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,668 NEBULA. 87 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,803 AND NOW HE'S NOT. 88 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,805 SO WE'RE NOT ALONE. 89 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,507 BY THE WAY, WE'RE REALLY NOT 90 00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:22,275 ALONE. 91 00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:23,677 AFTER 14 MONTHS OF BEING ON OUR 92 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,479 ROOF, OUR BAND IS BACK IN 93 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:25,946 STUDIO. 94 00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:26,513 SAY HELLO TO CLETO AND THE 95 00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:30,317 CLETONES! 96 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:38,191 CLETO SR., TOESHSHI, JONATHAN, 97 00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,127 CLETO FINALLY BACK. 98 00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,828 THERE IS NOTHING MORE ROCK 'N 99 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:42,963 ROLL THAN BEING SEPARATED BY 100 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:49,603 PLEXIGLAS DIVIDERS. 101 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:50,570 YOU WANT GOIVE US A LITTLE 102 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:53,540 SOMETHING SINCE YOU'RE BACK? 103 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:54,107 COME ON, GIVE US SOMETHING. 104 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:56,076 YEAH. 105 00:02:56,076 --> 00:03:00,147 ♪ 106 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:00,580 ALL RIGHT. 107 00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:02,883 A LITTLE RUSTY, BUT THEY'LL GET 108 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,584 THE MAGIC BACK. 109 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:05,919 JONATHAN, YOU'RE GOING TO BE ‐‐ 110 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,621 I'VE REALLY BEEN MISSING THE RIM 111 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,556 SHOTS, SO I'M GOING TO NEED SOME 112 00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:09,890 TONIGHT. 113 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,758 GIVE US JUST ONE TO SEE WHAT IT 114 00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:12,059 SOUND LIKE. 115 00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:12,592 YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I LIKE. 116 00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:16,663 ALL RIGHT. 117 00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:17,831 WHEN YOU HAVE THAT, YOU DON'T 118 00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:18,932 EVEN HAVE TO BE FUNNY. 119 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:19,332 YOU REALLY DON'T. 120 00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:20,100 THIS IS FUNNY. 121 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:23,937 WE LEARNED OVER THE WEEKEND THAT 122 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,138 JOE BIDEN HAD A VENMO ACCOUNT. 123 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:28,341 I SAY HAD BECAUSE HE HAD TO 124 00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,177 DELETE THE VENMO ACCOUNT. 125 00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:31,144 HE APPARENTLY USED IT TO SEND 126 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,713 MONEY TO HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS. 127 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:33,280 IT'S WEIRD TO HEAR ABOUT A 128 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:33,980 POLITICIAN USING VENMO TO PAY 129 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,016 TEENAGERS FOR SOMETHING OTHER 130 00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:36,283 THAN SEX. 131 00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:38,852 ISN'T IT? 132 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,354 SEE WHAT I MEAN? 133 00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:43,457 BUZZFEED DID A STORY ABOUT HOW 134 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:48,195 EASY IT WAS FOR THEM TO FIND IT. 135 00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:48,829 AND THERE ARE SOME INTERESTING 136 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,598 TRANSACTIONS. 137 00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,734 THEY FOUND JOSEPH BIDEN PAID 138 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,703 SHOE LOEWS GUS FOR MALARKEY. 139 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:57,304 PAID HUCK FOR FIXING THE DOO 140 00:03:57,304 --> 00:04:00,240 HICKEY. 141 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,443 LIL' BEE BOP, LICORICE WHIPS. 142 00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:04,978 PAID SAL'S ELECTRONICS ‐‐ 143 00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:05,512 VICTROLA REPAIR. 144 00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:07,080 PAID HIGGENBOTHEM'S APOTHECARY 145 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:12,018 FOR 1 JAR OF TOOTH POWDER. 146 00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:12,919 AND PAID ANGELA MERKEL, SORRY 147 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,254 FOR THE WEIRD HUG. 148 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,324 WHO WOULD HAVE EVER GUESSED 149 00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:17,491 IT? 150 00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:19,926 IF SOMEBODY SAID WHAT ARE THE 151 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:20,560 ODDS THAT JOE BIDEN HAS VENMO, 152 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,829 IT'S NO WAY, RIGHT? 153 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,297 ISN'T IT LIKE FINDING OUT THE 154 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:28,135 POPE WEARS V. R. GOGGLES? 155 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,903 I FORGOT HOW SCARY THEY ARE TOO. 156 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:32,472 THIS WAS ONE NOTABLE PAYMENT 157 00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:33,039 REQUEST THAT BIDEN DID NOT 158 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:33,540 ACCEPT. 159 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:34,574 YOU KNOW HOW TRUMP CLAIMED HE 160 00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:35,208 WAS GOING TO BUILD A "GARDEN OF 161 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:39,946 HEROES?" 162 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,548 HE WAS GOING TO BUILD STATUES 163 00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:42,783 HONORING A BUNCH OF FAMOUS 164 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,284 PEOPLE JARED GOOGLED FOR HIM? 165 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:44,885 HE ANNOUNCED THIS JUST BEFORE 166 00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:45,852 LEAVING OFFICE AND, TO NO ONE'S 167 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:46,887 SURPRISE, IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 168 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:47,954 PRESIDENT BIDEN, ON FRIDAY, 169 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:48,955 REVOKED THE EXECUTIVE ORDER TO 170 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,057 BUILD THE GARDEN. 171 00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:53,160 AND, OF COURSE, REPUBLICAN 172 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:58,198 LAWMAKERS ARE CRANKING UP THE 173 00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,534 FAKE OUTRAGE MACHINE. 174 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,034 QANUT, LAUREN BOEBERT, OF 175 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:01,568 COLORADO TWEETED, "BIDEN 176 00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:02,202 CANCELLED THE NATIONAL GARDEN OF 177 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:02,836 AMERICAN HEROES BECAUSE HE HATES 178 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:03,603 AMERICA. 179 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,705 HATES OUR HISTORY. 180 00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,274 AND IS OKAY WITH CANCEL CULTURE 181 00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:08,809 TEARING DOWN AMERICA'S STATUES." 182 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,876 RIGHT. 183 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:10,510 I'M SURE SHE'S VERY UPSET ABOUT 184 00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:16,349 THIS. 185 00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:19,719 THAT HE HATES AMERICA INTENSELY. 186 00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:21,188 NO SITE WAS EVER SELECTED FOR 187 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:21,822 THIS GARDEN. 188 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:22,289 THERE WERE NO PLANS. 189 00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:23,690 NOTHING WAS FUNDED BY CONGRESS. 190 00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:24,224 IT'S THE QUINTESSENTIAL 191 00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:24,724 DONALD TRUMP PROJECT. 192 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:25,258 NO PLAN. 193 00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:25,759 NO MONEY. 194 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,327 NO PROMISE KEPT. 195 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,197 THERE WASN'T EVEN A SITE PICKED 196 00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,464 OUT FOR THE GARDEN. 197 00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:32,065 TRUMP BASICALLY CONCEIVED IT, 198 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,868 THEN DITCHED IT ALTOGETHER. 199 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:40,974 IT WAS LIKE TIFFANY IN A WAY. 200 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:43,743 HEY, REMEMBER THE TIGER KING JOE 201 00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:45,145 EXOTIC, WHO IS CURRENTLY IN 202 00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:45,345 JAIL? 203 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,014 YOU PROBABLY KNOW HE REQUESTED A 204 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,149 PARDON FROM TRUMP. 205 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:49,816 TRUMP DIDN'T BITE. 206 00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:51,251 SO NOW HE IS HOPING TO GET THE 207 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,686 NEW PRESIDENT TO BAIL HIM OUT. 208 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,654 HE TOOK TO TWITTER TO BEG FOR 209 00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:55,422 JOE BIDEN'S HELP. 210 00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:56,990 HERE IS HOW THAT CONVERSATION 211 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,592 I'M GUESSING WENT AT THE WHITE 212 00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:58,992 HOUSE. 213 00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,026 MR. PRESIDENT, JOE EXOTIC IS 214 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:00,961 ASKING YOU FOR A PARDON. 215 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:03,763 WHO'S JOE KPOKTIC? 216 00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:09,603 THE GUY FROM TIGER KING. 217 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,104 THE GUY FROM NETFLIX. 218 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:12,439 WHO'S A NETFLIX? 219 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:16,977 OKAY, THAT'S A NO THEN. 220 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:20,614 "MR. PRESIDENT, JOE EXOTIC IS 221 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:21,248 BY THE WAY, YOU KNOW WHO REALLY 222 00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:22,182 DESERVES THE NAME "JOE EXOTIC?" 223 00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:22,816 THIS SMOOTH OPERATOR RIGHT HERE, 224 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:23,283 MAYBE EVEN JOE EROTIC. 225 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,284 SPEAKING OF TIGERS, LAST WEEK, I 226 00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:24,885 MENTIONED THERE WAS A BENGAL 227 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:25,485 TIGER ON THE LOOSE IN HOUSTON. 228 00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:26,353 WELL, IT IS NO LONGER ON THE 229 00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,387 LOOSE. 230 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:31,892 THE WIFE OF A PROMINENT LOCAL 231 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,694 MATTRESS SALESMAN, A GUY NAMED 232 00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:35,962 MATTRESS MAC SAYS SHE HAD THE 233 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:36,730 TIGER AT A PRIVATE TENNIS CLUB 234 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,798 SHE OWNS. 235 00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:39,733 THIS TENNIS CLUB IS LICENSED TO 236 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:43,436 HAVE WILD ANIMALLINGS. 237 00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:44,905 I WENT ON THEIR WEBSITE. 238 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,539 THEY HAVE MONKEYS AT THIS TENNIS 239 00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:46,740 CLUB. 240 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,109 I DON'T KNOW IF THEY GO GET THE 241 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:49,609 BALLS OR WHAT. 242 00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:52,612 IT'S A TENNIS CLUB WITH MONKEYS. 243 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,281 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, FLORIDA. 244 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:57,150 TEXAS IS REALLY MAKING A RUN. 245 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,952 ANY WAY, THE TIGER IS SAFE. 246 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,388 HE IS IN THE CUSTODY OF HPD 247 00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,723 MAJOR OFFENDERS COMMANDER RON 248 00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:03,957 BORZA. 249 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,759 >> COMMANDER, IT'S BEEN A LONG 250 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:06,459 WEEK LOOKING FOR GUY. 251 00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:07,794 >> IT REALLY HAS. 252 00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:08,328 BUT WE GOT HIM, AND HE IS 253 00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:14,801 HEALTHY. 254 00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:17,938 >> Jimmy: NOW I WANT A TIGER. 255 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:22,275 IF THE IDEA WAS TO WARN PEOPLE 256 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,677 ABOUT HOW DANGEROUS THESE 257 00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,145 ANIMALS ARE, MISSION NOT 258 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:25,612 ACCOMPLISHED AT ALL. 259 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,248 GET ME A TIGER, WILL YOU, 260 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:28,615 GUILLERMO? 261 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,349 >> Guillermo: SURE. 262 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,817 >> Jimmy: TIME FOR OUR BIG 263 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:31,117 EXCLUSIVE. 264 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,285 WE ‐‐ THE 17th SEASON OF "THE 265 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,087 BACHELORETTE" STARTS NEXT MONTH. 266 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,155 AND FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, WE 267 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:36,189 GOT AN EXCLUSIVE LOOK AT ALL THE 268 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,223 MEN WHO WILL BE COMPETING FOR 269 00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:38,291 KATIE'S ATTENTION. 270 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:44,230 SO MANY SHOWS WANTED THIS. 271 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:44,898 "MEET THE PRESS," "FACE THE 272 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,266 NATION," "OPRAH." 273 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:46,900 THEY WERE ALL DESPERATE TO GET 274 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:50,203 THIS, BUT SOMEHOW WE GOT IT. 275 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,305 WE MANAGED TO WREST IT AWAY FROM 276 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,173 ABC.COM. 277 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,808 AND SO WITH A STACK OF HEADSHOTS 278 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,876 IN HAND, I GATHERED MY 279 00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,478 BACHELORETTE CREW TO GO THROUGH 280 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,547 ALL THE MEN IN THIS FIRST LOOK 281 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,649 AT KATIE'S HAREM. 282 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:08,254 ♪ 283 00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:08,722 >> CHEEKS, EVERYBODY. 284 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,523 >> CHEERS. 285 00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:11,157 >> OH, I CAN'T WAIT TO GET INTO 286 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,360 THIS. 287 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:14,427 >> I KNOW YOU LOVE THIS. 288 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,363 >> I FEEL LIKE IT'S CHRISTMAS 289 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:16,529 EVE. 290 00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,398 ARE YOU READY TO OPEN THE 291 00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:18,665 PACKAGES? 292 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:19,966 >> CAN'T WAIT. 293 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:21,434 >> ALL RIGHT. 294 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,602 WE BEGIN WITH AARON. 295 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:23,003 THOUGHTS? 296 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,571 >> HUNDREDS OF TEETH, WHICH IS 297 00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,072 WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT. 298 00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,674 >> Jimmy: HE DOES HAVE A LOT OF 299 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:28,341 TEETH. 300 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:28,541 YEAH. 301 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:29,409 >> HE IS CUTE, THOUGH. 302 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:30,677 WHAT DOES HE DO? 303 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,479 >> Jimmy: HE'S AN INSURANCE 304 00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:32,712 AGENT. 305 00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:32,946 >> OH. 306 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,481 >> Jimmy: HIS BIGGEST FEARS ARE 307 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:35,582 RATS AND SABER TOOTH 308 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:36,282 TIE‐BREAKERS HE SAYS. 309 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:37,917 >> ONE OF THOSE IS EXTINCT, SO 310 00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:40,520 HE WILL SLEEP EASIER TONIGHT. 311 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,756 >> BRENDAN, FIREFIGHTER TRAINEE 312 00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:43,456 FROM TORONTO. 313 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,658 >> I THINK HIS NIGHTTIME RITUAL 314 00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:46,760 PROBABLY TAKES WAY TOO LONG. 315 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,494 >> YES. 316 00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:48,128 >> Jimmy: CHRISTIAN FROM BOSTON. 317 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,930 HE IS A REAL ESTATE AGENT. 318 00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,666 >> HE LOVES PARADES. 319 00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:54,501 >> NO! 320 00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:55,869 WHO LOVES PARADES? 321 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,303 >> IT'S SO HARD TO LOVE A 322 00:08:57,303 --> 00:09:00,240 PARADE. 323 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:00,707 >> IT'S NOT THE 1930s. 324 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,174 >> Jimmy: CONNOR B. 325 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:01,641 >> YES. 326 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,243 >> BEST FACE IN THE BUNCH. 327 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:03,777 >> YES. 328 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:04,444 >> Jimmy: WELL, GUESS WHAT? 329 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:07,680 HE IS A MATH TEACHER. 330 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:07,914 >> CUTE. 331 00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:08,348 >> CONGRATULATIONS. 332 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,749 >> Jimmy: CLAIMS HE CAN EAT 333 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:10,850 CEREAL FASTER THAN ANYONE. 334 00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:11,484 >> NO. 335 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,052 HE'S OUT. 336 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:12,819 THAT'S DISGUSTING. 337 00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,154 >> THAT'S NOT SOMETHING TO BE 338 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:14,888 PROUD OF. 339 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:15,722 >> THAT'S HORRIBLE SOUND. 340 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:16,990 >> OH, MY GOSH. 341 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,391 >> THE WORST SOUND YOU CAN HEAR. 342 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:18,958 >> Jimmy: WHAT ABOUT THIS? 343 00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:23,930 >> NO. 344 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:24,831 >> Jimmy: AH. 345 00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:26,066 THAT'S BAD TOO. 346 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:26,599 >> YES. 347 00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:27,600 >> HE IS CUTE. 348 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:28,468 HE IS GOING. 349 00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:29,869 HE IS TOP TWO. 350 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,037 >> Jimmy: YOU JUST STRUCK HIM 351 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:31,871 DOWN BECAUSE OF CEREAL. 352 00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:33,606 >> I DON'T WANT HIM TO EAT 353 00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:35,008 CEREAL AROUND US, BUT HIS FACE 354 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,776 IS GREAT AND HE IS A TEACHER. 355 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:37,210 TOP TWO. 356 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:37,477 >> YEAH. 357 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,611 >> Jimmy: THIS GUY WITH HIS 358 00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:39,879 HAIR, THIS IS GABRIEL. 359 00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,114 HE IS AN ENTREPRENEUR. 360 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,015 >> THEY ALL ARE. 361 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:42,615 >> Jimmy: WHICH IS FRENCH FOR 362 00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:45,385 UNEMPLOYED. 363 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,053 HE BELIEVES THAT PEOPLE SHOULD 364 00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:50,723 RESPECT ELEGANT STYLES OF THE 365 00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:51,057 PA 366 00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:51,257 PAST. 367 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,926 >> WHICH MEANS HE IS EITHER GAY 368 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:53,626 OR WEIRD. 369 00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:54,627 >> Jimmy: COULD BE BOTH. 370 00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:56,463 >> HE IS OUT IS WHAT HE IS. 371 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:57,831 >> Jimmy: HE'LL BE THE ONE 372 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:58,898 EVERYONE HATES, RIGHT? 373 00:09:58,898 --> 00:09:59,532 >> YEAH. 374 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:00,366 >> Jimmy: GARRETT IS NOT A FAN 375 00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,969 OF TANGY FOODS. 376 00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:05,905 >> I WOULD NOT THINK HE WAS. 377 00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:06,606 >> BLAND FOODS. 378 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,408 >> Jimmy: WHO IS NOT A FAN OF 379 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:08,775 TANGY FOODS? 380 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,577 >> I LIKE HIM. 381 00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,178 THE GUY YOU DANCE WITH AT A 382 00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,713 WEDDING, YOUR COUSIN'S WEDDING. 383 00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,315 >> I DON'T WANT TO GO TO DINNER 384 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,015 WITH HIM. 385 00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,584 >> Jimmy: HE HAS ELIMINATED A 386 00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,085 WHOLE CATEGORY OF FOOD THAT 387 00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:19,919 REALLY DOESN'T EVEN EXIST. 388 00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:20,553 >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS FOR 389 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:20,720 HIM. 390 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,022 I LIKE HIM. 391 00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:24,124 >> Jimmy: I DON'T. 392 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:24,691 >> OKAY. 393 00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:26,025 >> Jimmy: IT'S TIME FOR A DOSE 394 00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:26,759 OF DENIM. 395 00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:27,360 HERE IS JEFF. 396 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:27,961 >> NO. 397 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,029 >> Jimmy: JEFF IS A SKIN 398 00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:30,296 SALESMAN. 399 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,431 THIS IS WEIRD. 400 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,532 >> THAT'S NOT COOL. 401 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,901 >> Jimmy: JEFF ACTUALLY SELLS 402 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,469 ARTIFICIAL SKIN, YOU KNOW, FOR 403 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:36,903 MEDICAL PROCEDURES. 404 00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,872 >> THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER 405 00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,940 PHRASE THAN SKIN SALESMAN FOR 406 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:41,141 THAT. 407 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,742 >> Jimmy: JEFF CALLS HIMSELF AN 408 00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:43,276 EXCEPTIONAL LOVER. 409 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,278 >> OF COURSE HE DOES. 410 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:46,779 >> Jimmy: HOW YOU KNOW? 411 00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:48,481 >> A SKIN SPECIALIST OF ANOTHER 412 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,382 KIND. 413 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:50,850 >> Jimmy: THIS IS JUSTIN. 414 00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:51,284 >> CUTE. 415 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,819 >> Jimmy: HE DOES NOT LIKE TO 416 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:53,086 DANCE. 417 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,221 >> NOPE. 418 00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:55,855 >> NOPE. 419 00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:56,422 >> Jimmy: WHY? 420 00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:57,924 >> YOU KNOW I LIKE TO DANCE. 421 00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:58,558 >> Jimmy: BUT WE'RE NOT LOOKING 422 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,593 FOR A DATE FUTURE YOU. 423 00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,395 >> WELL, I'M JUST JUDGING 424 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,364 THROUGH MY EYES. 425 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:05,498 I LIKE IT WHEN A GUY CAN DANCE. 426 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,266 >> Jimmy: THIS IS CARL. 427 00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,167 HE IS A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER. 428 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,036 OH, THAT'S BAD. 429 00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:11,571 >> SCARY, AND THEY ALWAYS NEED 430 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:12,438 THE MOTIVATION THE MOST. 431 00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:12,939 >> YES! 432 00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:13,606 IT'S LIKE THE HAIRDRESSERS WITH 433 00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,675 THE WORST HAIR. 434 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,577 >> Jimmy: HIS NICKNAME IS 435 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:17,844 SUNSHINE. 436 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,245 >> IS IT? 437 00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:19,846 >> Jimmy: UH‐OH. 438 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:24,918 HE IS A PROUD AND LOYAL 439 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:25,218 BELIEBER. 440 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,486 >> I AM TOO. 441 00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:27,453 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 442 00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:29,455 GOOD EYEBROWS WHICH IS ACTUALLY 443 00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:30,823 MY FAVORITE PART OF THE MALE 444 00:11:30,823 --> 00:11:31,057 FACE. 445 00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:34,227 >> AND HE WILL NEVER GO BALD. 446 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,396 >> GOT KIND OF A PETE SAMPRAS 447 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,231 JOHN KRASINSKI TYPE THING GOING. 448 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,032 >> Jimmy: MARTY IS FROM RENO, 449 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:39,532 AND HE IS A DANCER. 450 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,802 WHAT? 451 00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:44,904 >> WAIT A MINUTE. 452 00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:46,039 WHAT IS THAT NECKLACE AND 453 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:46,306 EARRINGS? 454 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,473 >> MARTY BRINGS THE PARTY. 455 00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:48,241 >> NO, HE DOESN'T. 456 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,476 >> WAIT, HE SAYS THAT? 457 00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:53,346 IS HE A STRIPPER? 458 00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,582 >> Jimmy: IT'S HIS 459 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:56,182 SELF‐DESCRIBED TAG LINE. 460 00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:57,050 HE BRINGS THE PARTY. 461 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,052 THE WAY INTO HIS HEART IS? 462 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:03,590 >> THE TIGHTEST THERMAL OF ALL 463 00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:04,524 TIME. 464 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:08,595 >> Jimmy: QUARTNEY. 465 00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:11,231 >> COURTNEY COX SPELLS HER NAME 466 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:11,464 WRONG. 467 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:12,632 >> Jimmy: IT'S NOT A Q. 468 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:13,566 DON'T GO CRAZY. 469 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,868 I SAY HE IS OKAY AS LONG AS HE 470 00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:19,606 NO LONGER SPEAKS TO HIS PARENTS. 471 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:20,640 HIS FAVORITE ACTIVITY IS TO MEET 472 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,308 HIS FRIENDS FOR THEIR BRUNCH AND 473 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:23,042 BOOK CLUB, AND HE LOVES THE 474 00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:25,545 HARMONICA. 475 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:29,415 THIS IS THE GUY I WOULD PICK. 476 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,283 THIS IS MY GUY. 477 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,819 >> DO YOU KNOW THAT JIMMY HAS 478 00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:34,687 NINE HARMONICAS IN THE CAR, AND 479 00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:36,356 HE ALSO HAS A THING HE WEARS 480 00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,191 AROUND HIS NECK AND HE PLAYS 481 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,393 HARMONICA WHILE HE DRIVES. 482 00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:41,527 >> Jimmy: A THING I WEAR AROUND 483 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:42,195 MY NECK? 484 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,029 >> A NECKLACE. 485 00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:44,530 >> Jimmy: BOB DYLAN WEARS ONE OF 486 00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:44,831 THOSE. 487 00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:46,065 YOU DON'T MAKE FUN OF HIM. 488 00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:47,166 >> WHAT'S IT FOR? 489 00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:49,869 IT HOLDS THE HARMONICA? 490 00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,738 >> Jimmy: IT'S SO I THE CAN PLAY 491 00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:52,839 THE HARMONICA WHILE I'M DRIVING 492 00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:53,072 THE CAR. 493 00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:59,479 ♪ 494 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:03,049 PEOPLE LAUGH WHEN THEY DRIVE BY. 495 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:03,916 ANDREW S. 496 00:13:03,916 --> 00:13:05,451 ONE OF HIS FAVORITE PARTY TRICKS 497 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,820 IS IMITATING ACCENTS FROM AROUND 498 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:08,254 THE GLOBE. 499 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:08,788 >> OH, HE'LL BE CANCELED 500 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,556 IMMEDIATELY. 501 00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:12,025 >> Jimmy: HE IS VERY CLOSE WITH 502 00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,826 HIS 96‐YEAR‐OLD GRANDMOTHER. 503 00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:14,727 >> AWWW. 504 00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:18,031 >> NOW WE LIKE HIM AGAIN. 505 00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,133 OOH, I DON'T LIKE HIS 506 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:20,433 TURTLENECK. 507 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,502 >> YEAH, MY 96‐YEAR‐OLD 508 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:25,271 GRANDMOTHER IS KIND OF A BITCH. 509 00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:26,072 THIS IS BRANDON. 510 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:29,142 HE IS AN AUTO PARTS MANAGER FROM 511 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:29,442 QUEENS. 512 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,610 HOW IS THIS ALLOWED IN QUEENS? 513 00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:36,382 WHAT HAPPENED TO QUEENS? 514 00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:36,883 >> T 515 00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:37,250 THIS IS CODY. 516 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,185 HE IS A ZIPPER SALES MANAGER. 517 00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:39,519 >> EXCUSE ME? 518 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,888 >> Jimmy: HE IS A ZIPPER SALES 519 00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:42,155 MANAGER. 520 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,823 >> BYE, CODY. 521 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:44,924 >> Jimmy: CONNOR C. 522 00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:46,893 FORMER BASEBALL PLAYER. 523 00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:49,429 OH, CONNOR C. AND MATTHEW 524 00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,229 McCONAUGHEY SHARE BIRTHDAYS. 525 00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:51,197 >> THAT'S NOT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. 526 00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:52,432 >> Jimmy: HE HAS TO SLEEP ON THE 527 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,067 RIGHT SIDE OF THE BED. 528 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:54,867 AND HE STARTS CELEBRATING 529 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:56,035 CHRISTMAS IN OCTOBER. 530 00:13:56,035 --> 00:13:59,772 >> NO. 531 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,741 >> Jimmy: GREG DREAMS OF SEEING 532 00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:02,842 LEBRON JAMES PLAY BASKETBALL IN 533 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,309 PERSON. 534 00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:04,544 OH, WOW, IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME 535 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:07,580 WAY TO MAKE THAT DREAM COME 536 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:07,780 TRUE. 537 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,082 HIS NAME IS HUNTER. 538 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:12,185 HE SAYS HE'LL NEVER STOP 539 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,086 BELIEBING IN ROMANCE. 540 00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,721 THIS YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE AT 541 00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:14,887 ALL. 542 00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:16,456 I'M GOING PREDICT RIGHT OFF THE 543 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:16,622 BAT. 544 00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:17,657 THERE IS NO PICTURE OF THIS GUY. 545 00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,058 ALL THERE IS A BOX. 546 00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:21,060 AND I GUESS HE CONSIDERS HIMSELF 547 00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:23,463 TO BE A GIFT TO THE WORLD, TO 548 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:24,464 THE BACHELORETTE? 549 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,099 >> I THREE‐POINT IS A GIFT 550 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:26,366 RECEIPT. 551 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,201 >> I HOPE HE IS 4 FEET TALL. 552 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,535 I HOPE HE GETS OUT OF THE BOX 553 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,237 AND HE IS THE SIZE OF THE BOX 554 00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:32,238 AND HE SCAMPERS OUT OF THE BOX 555 00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:35,174 AND WE ALL GO CRAZY. 556 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:36,109 WELL, WE DID IT. 557 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,710 WE WENT THROUGH ALL OF THEM. 558 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:38,711 WE EVALUATED THEM. 559 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,346 AND NOW I GUESS ONLY TIME WILL 560 00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:40,546 TELL. 561 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:40,713 YES. 562 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,415 AND BY THE WAY, I JUST WANT TO 563 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,317 SAY A QUICK ONE MORE TOAST. 564 00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:45,318 AND THANK YOU ALL FOR HAVING 565 00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:46,619 YOUR HAIR DONE TO BE HERE. 566 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:49,255 >> THANK YOU. 567 00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:50,890 >> Jimmy: DON'T THINK IT WENT 568 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:51,157 UNNOTICED. 569 00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:51,758 YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT NOISE 570 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:51,958 AGAIN? 571 00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,826 >> OH, NO! 572 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:54,060 PLEASE. 573 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:57,597 I HATE THAT SOUND. 574 00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:01,434 [ APPLAUSE ] 575 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:02,468 >> Jimmy: WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW 576 00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:02,835 FOR YOU TONIGHT. 577 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:03,369 PATTON OSWALT IS WITH US. 578 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:08,174 WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM CHASE RICE. 579 00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:09,008 AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 580 00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:09,409 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL. 581 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,144 SO STICK AROUND. 582 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:14,313 ♪ 583 00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:19,519 ♪ DO YOU REMEMBER BACK IN 1966, 584 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:20,420 COME ♪ 585 00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:29,629 ♪ 586 00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:30,596 >> Jimmy: OUR BAND IS BACK. 587 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:33,933 CLETO AND THE CLETONES. 588 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,035 STILL THE SAME CREW, STUDIO 589 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:37,303 AUDIENCE, BUT WE'LL GET THERE. 590 00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:38,471 TONIGHT FROM THE HIGHLY 591 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:42,742 ANTICIPATED NEW SHOW ON HULU, 592 00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:43,342 "MARVEL'S M. O. D. O. K.," MODOK 593 00:15:43,342 --> 00:15:47,914 HIMSELF PATTON OSWALT IS HERE. 594 00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,482 AND THEN LATER, THIS IS HIS 595 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:49,682 ALBUM. 596 00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,551 HE NAMED IT "THE ALBUM." 597 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:54,086 MUSIC FROM CHASE RICE TONIGHT. 598 00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:54,720 THIS WEEK, WE'VE GOT NEW SHOWS 599 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:55,621 WITH DON CHEADLE, RYAN SEACREST, 600 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:56,122 GABRIELLE UNION, AND 601 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,190 DWYANE WADE. 602 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:58,758 MUSIC FROM ROYAL BLOOD, LAKE 603 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:02,028 STREET DIVE, AND COUNTING CROWS. 604 00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:05,364 SO PLEASE JOIN US FOR ALL THAT. 605 00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:06,766 OUR FIRST GUEST IS SOMEONE I 606 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,167 ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD THE SEEING 607 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,602 HIM, EACH WHEN HE IS NOT ON THE 608 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:09,802 SHOW. 609 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,437 I CAN LOOK OUT MY WINDOW AND SEE 610 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:11,604 HIM. 611 00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:12,872 HE JUST THAT BIG. 612 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:14,707 STARTING TOMORROW ON TNT, HE AND 613 00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:16,242 HIS HALL OF FAME "INSIDE THE 614 00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:19,679 NBA" COLLEAGUES GIVE VOICE TO 615 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:22,315 THE NEW STATE FARM NBA PLAY‐IN 616 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:22,615 TOURNAMENT. 617 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,684 PLEASE SAY HELLO TO THE GREAT 618 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:25,518 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL. 619 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:25,985 HEY, SHAQ. 620 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,753 >> HELLO, JIMMY. 621 00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:28,488 HOW YOU? 622 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,555 >> Jimmy: VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU. 623 00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,859 >> NICE TO SEE YOU TOO, SIR. 624 00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:33,926 >> Jimmy: WELL, FIRST OF ALL, 625 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,428 BEFORE WE GET INTO ALL THE 626 00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:36,229 CONGRATULATIONS, I DO WANT TO 627 00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:38,865 ASK YOU ABOUT THE UFOs "60 628 00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:39,232 MINUTES." 629 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,299 DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT? 630 00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:41,567 DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON? 631 00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:42,335 >> I DID. 632 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,069 I HEARD ABOUT IT. 633 00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,537 >> Jimmy: I FEEL LIKE IT'S NOT 634 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:48,708 GETTING AS MUCH ATTENTION AS IT 635 00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:48,941 SHOULD. 636 00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:50,510 AS SOMEONE WHO IS JUST 637 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,143 PHYSICALLY CLOSER TO OUTER SPACE 638 00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:54,380 THAN THE REST OF US, WHAT IS 639 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,749 YOUR TAKE ON WHAT'S GOING ON? 640 00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,518 >> WELL, ONE, I TOTALLY BELIEVE 641 00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,185 IN UFOs. 642 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,253 >> Jimmy: YOU DO? 643 00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:01,754 >> YEAH, BECAUSE I LOOK AT 644 00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:02,688 CHARLES BARKLEY AND LOOK AT HIS 645 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:02,889 BODY. 646 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:08,127 HE IS DEFINITELY AN ALIEN. 647 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:09,662 AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S CRAZY? 648 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:12,231 I NEVER TOLD ANYBODY THIS STORY. 649 00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:12,565 >> Jimmy: OH. 650 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:15,968 >> IN 1997, ME AND ONE OF MY 651 00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:17,870 GOOD FRIENDS CHRIS FLOREZ, WE 652 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,472 WERE ON A DOUBLE DATE. 653 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,707 THE GIRL HE MARRIED, MELISSA. 654 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,209 WE WERE ON A DOUBLE DATE. 655 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,011 WE WERE COMING FROM HOLLYWOOD 656 00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:28,214 VIDEO IN MADERA, CALIFORNIA. 657 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,982 AND RIGHT WHEN WE PASSED THE 658 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,350 FAIR GROUND BY THIS BIG OPEN 659 00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:32,752 LOT, I COULD SWEAR I SAW A 660 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,253 FLYING SAUCER COMING OUT WITH 661 00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:38,424 ALL THE LIGHTS AND THEY WERE 662 00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:39,659 SPINNING AND TOOK OFF. 663 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,494 AND EVERYTHING HAPPENED IN LESS 664 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:42,194 THAN FIVE SECONDS. 665 00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:45,264 AND WE ALL LOOKED AT EACH OTHER 666 00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,934 LIKE, AND I KNOW THAT IT WAS 667 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:48,067 UFO. 668 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:48,801 I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS. 669 00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:49,869 >> Jimmy: YOU NEVER TOLD ANYBODY 670 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:50,570 ABOUT THAT? 671 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,170 >> NOPE. 672 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,039 YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON I TOLD. 673 00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:53,806 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO 674 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:54,674 THINK I'M CRAZY. 675 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:55,508 >> Jimmy: RIGHT, RIGHT. 676 00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,510 >> SINCE I KNOW YOU'RE CRAZY AND 677 00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,479 YOU BELIEVE IN UFOs, LET YOU 678 00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:01,581 KNOW THAT SHAQ BELIEVES IN UFOs. 679 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,915 >> Jimmy: I HAVE TO SAY, I THINK 680 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,584 THAT'S PART OF THE PROBLEM IS 681 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,018 ANY TIME ANYONE SHARES A UFO 682 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:06,986 STORY, PEOPLE THINK THEY'RE 683 00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:07,186 CRAZY. 684 00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:08,688 AND SOME OF THESE PILOTS LAST 685 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,389 NIGHT WERE SAYING, LIKE IF I HAD 686 00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:12,525 BEEN ALONE IN THE PLANE AND SEEN 687 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,993 THIS, I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE 688 00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:15,361 TOLD ANYONE BECAUSE PEOPLE 689 00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:16,195 THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY. 690 00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:19,365 BUT SINCE THERE WERE FOUR OF US, 691 00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:21,267 WE EITHER WERE ALL CRAZY OR WE 692 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,935 SAW SOMETHING. 693 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,303 >> I HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION FOR 694 00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:24,503 YOU. 695 00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:27,573 >> Jimmy: YES, GO AHEAD. 696 00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:29,976 >> WHY WHEN I LOOK UP AT 697 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,177 NIGHTTIME, I CAN SEE THE MOON? 698 00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,712 SO THE MOON FROM EARTH IS HOW 699 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,146 MANY MILES? 700 00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:34,447 JUST GUESS. 701 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:34,714 >> Jimmy: 702 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:35,681 >> AT LEAST 50. 703 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,149 I DON'T KNOW. 704 00:18:37,149 --> 00:18:39,151 IT'S GOT TO BE A. 705 00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:40,286 >> 51,000. 706 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:41,420 >> Jimmy: MORE THAN THAT, 707 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:42,521 PROBABLY. 708 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:43,189 >> OKAY. 709 00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:45,057 SO MY QUESTION IS I CAN STAND 710 00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:46,626 OUTSIDE AND LOOK UP AND SEE THE 711 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:46,826 MOON. 712 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,661 HOW COME WHEN I STAND OUTSIDE IN 713 00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:51,063 MY YARD, I CAN'T SEE CALIFORNIA, 714 00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:52,898 AND IT'S ONLY 3,000 MILES AWAY. 715 00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:53,699 >> Jimmy: PROBABLY BECAUSE 716 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:54,734 YOU'RE ONLY 8 FEET TALL. 717 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,102 IF YOU WERE 9 FEET TALL YOU 718 00:18:56,102 --> 00:19:01,841 WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE CALIFORNIA. 719 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,309 SHAQ, I'M STARTING TO SUSPECT 720 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,610 YOU MAYBE HAVE BEEN 721 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:05,311 EXPERIMENTING WITH MARIJUANA, 722 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:05,945 BUT THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH 723 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:06,979 ANY OF THIS. 724 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:07,813 >> ACTUALLY, NO. 725 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:11,651 NO. 726 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:14,353 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE ‐‐ WELL, 727 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:15,254 YOU'RE ALREADY IN THE HALL OF 728 00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:16,222 FAME AND YOU'RE AGAIN IN THE 729 00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:17,857 HALL OF FAME AS A BROADCASTER. 730 00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:21,527 [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ] 731 00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,262 WITH YOUR GUYS ON "INSIDE THE 732 00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:24,930 NBA" WHICH IS A GREAT SHOW. 733 00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:26,332 I'M GLAD THEY THOUGHT YOU KNOW 734 00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:26,532 WHAT? 735 00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:28,401 WE SHOULD PUT THIS SHOW IN THE 736 00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:28,834 HALL OF FAME. 737 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,070 THAT HAS TO BE PRETTY EXCITING 738 00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:36,108 FOR YOU? 739 00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:36,575 >> IT'S VERY EXCITING. 740 00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:37,209 I THINK SINCE I'VE BEEN THERE, 741 00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:38,244 WE'VE WON SEVEN TO NINE EMMYS. 742 00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:39,445 LOVE WORKING WITH THE GREAT 743 00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,246 CHARLES BARKLEY. 744 00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:41,347 LISTEN, THE REASON WHY WE GOT IN 745 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,315 THE HALL OF FAME IS BECAUSE OF 746 00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:44,750 THE GREAT ERNIE JOHNSON. 747 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:45,685 HE IS SO FABULOUS. 748 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:46,986 HE IS PROFESSIONAL. 749 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,621 >> Jimmy: ERNIE IS FANTASTIC. 750 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,423 >> I KNOW WHERE MY BREAD IS 751 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:50,823 BUTTERED. 752 00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,191 I'M NOT GOING TO SIT UP HERE AND 753 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,926 ACT LIKE IT'S BECAUSE OF ME OR 754 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:54,994 BECAUSE OF CHARLES OR KENNY. 755 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:57,630 I THINK ERNIE IS THE GO‐TO GUY. 756 00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,198 AND THEN CHARLES SECOND AND I'M 757 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,068 THIRD AND KENNY, SINCE HE SUCKS. 758 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:02,601 >> Jimmy: HE IS A DISTANT 759 00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,169 FOURTH. 760 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:07,907 [ LAUGHTER ] 761 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:08,774 NOW I DON'T KNOW IF YOU THOUGHT 762 00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:10,309 ABOUT THIS, OR IF CHARLES 763 00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:11,277 REMINDED YOU OF THIS, BUT 764 00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:11,977 CHARLES IS NOW IN THE HALL OF 765 00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:14,046 FAME THREE TIMES. 766 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,981 >> FOR WHAT? 767 00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:17,116 HE HAS NO RINGS. 768 00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:19,351 HE HAS NO RINGS. 769 00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:19,552 WHAT? 770 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,553 >> Jimmy: HE IS IN AS A PLAYER. 771 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,288 HE IS IN FOR DREAM TEAM, AND HE 772 00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:24,123 IS IN WITH YOU GUYS ON "INSIDE 773 00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:25,091 THE NBA." 774 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,092 SO YOU'RE ONE BEHIND HIM THERE. 775 00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:30,730 >> OH, MY. 776 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:31,363 I DON'T BELIEVE THAT. 777 00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:35,101 >> Jimmy: SHAQ, DID YOU HEAR 778 00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:38,637 WHAT JEANIE BUSS SAID? 779 00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:40,072 SHE ASKED TO RANK HER TOP FIVE 780 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:40,806 LAKERS OF ALL TIME. 781 00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:42,074 YOU WERE NOT ON THE LIST. 782 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:46,312 SHE SAID KOBE, KAREEM, MAGIC, 783 00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:47,279 LeBRON AND PHIL JACKSON. 784 00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:48,314 >> GOT IT. 785 00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:49,615 >> Jimmy: JERRY WEST WAS VERY 786 00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:49,982 UPSET ABOUT IT. 787 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,485 HE MADE A COMMENT ABOUT IT. 788 00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:52,818 HOW ABOUT YOU? 789 00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:57,490 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? 790 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,225 >> HE DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE 791 00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:00,960 BEEN ON THE LIST. 792 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,229 I LOVE THE BUS FAMILY. 793 00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:05,931 I LOVE JEANIE BUSS. 794 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,233 SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A WOMAN WHO 795 00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:08,067 SPEAKS HER MINE. 796 00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,168 I'M GLAD THEY WON THREE 797 00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:12,171 CHAMPIONSHIPS AND HAVE A LOVELY 798 00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:13,472 STATUE IN FRONT OF THE STAPLES 799 00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:16,242 CENTER. 800 00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:17,176 >> Jimmy: YOU REALLY MATURED 801 00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:17,810 OVER THE YEARS, SHAQ. 802 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:21,247 >> I HAVE. 803 00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:23,315 >> Jimmy: OBVIOUSLY, KOBE WAS 804 00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:24,250 INDUCTED INTO THE HALL OF FAME 805 00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:24,850 OVER THE WEEKEND. 806 00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:28,220 I SEE YOU GOT SOME PICTURES 807 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:28,888 THERE BEHIND YOU. 808 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:29,388 >> YES. 809 00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:30,823 >> Jimmy: YOU AND KOBE TOGETHER. 810 00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:32,758 YOU GOT ONE THERE. 811 00:21:32,758 --> 00:21:34,927 NOW KOBE, OBVIOUSLY YOU GUYS HAD 812 00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:37,329 SOME UPS AND DOWNS, BUT YOU 813 00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:38,531 ENDED AS FRIENDS. 814 00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:40,432 AND I ‐‐ KOBE TOLD ME A STORY 815 00:21:40,432 --> 00:21:41,600 ONCE, AND I WANTED TO GET YOUR 816 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:42,168 TAKE ON IT. 817 00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,904 HE SAID THAT YOU GUYS, IT WAS A 818 00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:46,205 SCRIMMAGE, AND I DON'T REMEMBER 819 00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:48,808 WHAT THE REASON WAS. 820 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:49,508 I DON'T REMEMBER THAT HE 821 00:21:49,508 --> 00:21:50,376 REMEMBERED WHAT THE REASON WAS, 822 00:21:50,376 --> 00:21:52,444 BUT YOU GUYS GOT IN A FIGHT AND 823 00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:53,612 HE THREW A PUNCH AT YOU. 824 00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:54,713 DO YOU REMEMBER THAT? 825 00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:56,282 >> NO, I DON'T REMEMBER THAT 826 00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:56,482 ONE. 827 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:56,982 >> Jimmy: OKAY. 828 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,584 WELL, HE SAYS HE THREW A PUNCH 829 00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:00,553 AT YOU, AND ALMOST IMMEDIATELY 830 00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:01,453 REALIZED THAT IT WAS A TERRIBLE 831 00:22:01,453 --> 00:22:05,991 IDEA. 832 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,694 >> NO, LISTEN, I BEEN IN THIS 833 00:22:08,694 --> 00:22:10,162 LEAGUE 19 YEARS, AND I HAD A LOT 834 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,130 OF SCUFFLES LIKE THAT. 835 00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:13,299 I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER THAT. 836 00:22:13,299 --> 00:22:15,968 I JUST WISH HE WAS HERE TO 837 00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:17,837 RECEIVE THE PRESTIGIOUS AWARD. 838 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,371 >> Jimmy: ABSOLUTELY. 839 00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:20,673 >> KNEW HE WAS GOING TO BE A 840 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:21,006 HALL OF FAMER. 841 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,508 HIS WIFE DID A GREAT JOB AND HIS 842 00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:23,375 DAUGHTERS LOOKED BEAUTIFUL. 843 00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:23,976 BUT I WISH HE WAS THERE. 844 00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:27,680 >> Jimmy: YEAH, SAME HERE. 845 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,114 YOU KNOW, THIS IS KIND OF 846 00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:30,082 INTERESTING BECAUSE I WAS 847 00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:31,617 LOOKING AT STEPH CURRY HAD 848 00:22:31,617 --> 00:22:34,119 LIKE ‐‐ HE MADE LIKE 300 849 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:34,887 THREE‐POINTERS OR SOMETHING IN 850 00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:36,622 THIS SHORTENED SEASON. 851 00:22:36,622 --> 00:22:40,893 YOU WERE THE LAST MVP TO ‐‐ WHO 852 00:22:40,893 --> 00:22:43,128 DID NOT MAKE A THREE‐POINTER AT 853 00:22:43,128 --> 00:22:46,665 ALL, OR THE LAST SCORING 854 00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:48,801 CHAMPION WHO DID NOT EVEN 855 00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:50,603 ATTEMPT OR MAYBE ATTEMPTED THEM, 856 00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:52,004 BUT DID NOT MAKE A THREE‐POINTER 857 00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:53,172 THE WHOLE SEASON. 858 00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:54,440 THAT'S REALLY CRAZY. 859 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,508 AND I THINK IT PARTLY SHOWS HOW 860 00:22:56,508 --> 00:22:57,643 MUCH THE GAME HAS CHANGED. 861 00:22:57,643 --> 00:22:59,778 >> WELL, NOT ONLY, THAT IT'S 862 00:22:59,778 --> 00:23:02,381 ALSO SHOWS YOU THAT I WAS A BAD 863 00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:05,351 MOTHER. 864 00:23:05,351 --> 00:23:08,320 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 865 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:09,355 DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY 866 00:23:09,355 --> 00:23:10,356 THREE‐POINTERS YOU ATTEMPTED IN 867 00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:10,756 YOUR CAREER? 868 00:23:10,756 --> 00:23:11,557 >> I THINK I WAS 1 OUT OF 22. 869 00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:13,993 >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT. 870 00:23:13,993 --> 00:23:14,426 AND HERE IS THE ONE. 871 00:23:14,426 --> 00:23:17,763 LET'S TAKE A LOOK. 872 00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:20,332 >> A COUPLE OF POINTS. 873 00:23:20,332 --> 00:23:22,935 INBOUND, SHAQ, THE CATCH, HE IS 874 00:23:22,935 --> 00:23:26,505 GOING TO FILE A THREE. 875 00:23:26,505 --> 00:23:27,773 DO YOU REMEMBER THAT? 876 00:23:27,773 --> 00:23:30,709 >> YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT. 877 00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:32,611 I REMEMBER I THINK I WAS TELLING 878 00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:34,513 COACH HILL HEY, MAN, WE'RE UP. 879 00:23:34,513 --> 00:23:35,281 WIN THE GAME. 880 00:23:35,281 --> 00:23:36,382 LET ME SHOOT A THREE. 881 00:23:36,382 --> 00:23:38,017 HE IS NO, I DON'T WANT TO 882 00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:39,184 EMBARRASS THE OTHER TEAM. 883 00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:42,821 SO WE'RE GOING TO DO, GOING TO 884 00:23:42,821 --> 00:23:43,656 GO TO PENNY. 885 00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:45,190 AND RIGHT BEFORE I CAME OUT, I 886 00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:45,858 WAS FORGET THAT. 887 00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:47,026 I'M GOING TO INTERCEPT THE BALL 888 00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:47,893 AND SHOOT THE THREE AND I'M 889 00:23:47,893 --> 00:23:48,661 GOING TO MAKE IT. 890 00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:50,429 AND I'M GOING TO LOOK BACK AT 891 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,430 THE COACH LIKE I'M THE BLACK 892 00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:54,366 STEPH CURRY. 893 00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:58,637 >> Jimmy: THE BLACK STEPH CURRY. 894 00:23:58,637 --> 00:23:59,171 SHAQ, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 895 00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:00,739 [ LAUGHTER ] 896 00:24:00,739 --> 00:24:04,076 ♪ 897 00:24:06,578 --> 00:24:12,851 >>> GET THOSE. 898 00:24:12,851 --> 00:24:14,186 YOU GUYS GOING TO COMPETE? 899 00:24:14,186 --> 00:24:17,089 YOU GET THREE SHOTS. 900 00:24:17,089 --> 00:24:19,558 FIRST UP, DWYANE WADE. 901 00:24:19,558 --> 00:24:24,830 FOR THE FREE‐THROW LINE. 902 00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:25,931 CANDACE, UNDERHAND. 903 00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:26,231 NUMBER TWO. 904 00:24:26,231 --> 00:24:26,632 OH! 905 00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:33,806 [ LAUGHTER ] 906 00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:35,741 >> Jimmy: CANDACE PARKER AND 907 00:24:35,741 --> 00:24:38,243 DWYANE WADE THROWING GRAPES AT 908 00:24:38,243 --> 00:24:39,712 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL. 909 00:24:39,712 --> 00:24:40,713 HEY, DWAYNE IS GOING TO BE HERE 910 00:24:40,713 --> 00:24:40,980 TOMORROW. 911 00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:42,881 I THINK IT WOULD BE NICE ‐‐ YOU 912 00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:44,183 PLAYED WITH HIM FOR QUITE SOME 913 00:24:44,183 --> 00:24:44,483 TIME. 914 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:45,784 TELL US SOMETHING EMBARRASSING 915 00:24:45,784 --> 00:24:46,418 ABOUT DWAYNE THAT I CAN BRING UP 916 00:24:46,418 --> 00:24:49,388 TOMORROW. 917 00:24:49,388 --> 00:24:52,691 >> WHEN I FIRST WENT TO HOUSE IN 918 00:24:52,691 --> 00:24:54,560 MIAMI, HE WAS LIVING IN A 919 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:55,594 TERRIBLE HOUSE. 920 00:24:55,594 --> 00:24:57,863 AND I HAD TO PULL HIMSELF AND 921 00:24:57,863 --> 00:24:59,231 BRO, YOU NEED TO FIRE YOUR 922 00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:01,266 REALTOR AND GET A NEW HOUSE. 923 00:25:01,266 --> 00:25:02,835 HE WAS LIVING IN A TRAILER PARK. 924 00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:04,303 >> Jimmy: IS THAT RIGHT? 925 00:25:04,303 --> 00:25:04,837 WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS? 926 00:25:04,837 --> 00:25:06,805 IS HE CHEAP? 927 00:25:06,805 --> 00:25:10,109 >> NAH, HE DIDN'T REALIZE HOW 928 00:25:10,109 --> 00:25:12,044 BIG‐TIME HE WAS YET. 929 00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:12,678 >> Jimmy: I SEE. 930 00:25:12,678 --> 00:25:14,813 >> I SAID BRO, IF YOU WANT TO BE 931 00:25:14,813 --> 00:25:16,782 BIG TIME, YOU GOT TO LOOK AND 932 00:25:16,782 --> 00:25:18,083 FEEL BIG TIME. 933 00:25:18,083 --> 00:25:20,386 >> Jimmy: LAST YEAR, YOU GUYS 934 00:25:20,386 --> 00:25:22,287 WAGERED YOUR MVP TROPHIES ON THE 935 00:25:22,287 --> 00:25:23,822 FINALS, AND YOU WON. 936 00:25:23,822 --> 00:25:24,723 DID DWAYNE PAY UP? 937 00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:26,759 DID HE GIVE YOU THE TROPHY? 938 00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:27,559 >> NO, HE HAS NOT. 939 00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:29,461 >> Jimmy: HE HAS NOT? 940 00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:30,129 ARE YOU EXPECTING TO RECEIVE 941 00:25:30,129 --> 00:25:33,232 THAT TROPHY? 942 00:25:33,232 --> 00:25:34,366 >> NO. 943 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:36,068 HIM AND HIS WIFE, THEY POST 944 00:25:36,068 --> 00:25:37,269 PHOTOS EVERY DAY SO I KNOW WHERE 945 00:25:37,269 --> 00:25:38,704 THEY LIVE AT. 946 00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:39,772 NEXT TIME THEY'RE OUT OF TIME, 947 00:25:39,772 --> 00:25:40,773 I'M JUST GOING TO BREAK IN AND 948 00:25:40,773 --> 00:25:41,006 TAKE IT. 949 00:25:41,006 --> 00:25:41,440 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. 950 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:45,110 GOOD THINKING. 951 00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:47,946 SO THIS STATE FARM NBA PLAY‐IN 952 00:25:47,946 --> 00:25:49,214 TOURNAMENT IS SOMETHING THAT HAS 953 00:25:49,214 --> 00:25:50,449 NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. 954 00:25:50,449 --> 00:25:52,017 THIS IS ‐‐ WELL, EXPLAIN EXACTLY 955 00:25:52,017 --> 00:25:53,252 HOW IT'S GOING TO WORK. 956 00:25:53,252 --> 00:25:57,356 I THINK I KNOW, BUT YOU TELL IT. 957 00:25:57,356 --> 00:25:58,957 >> I THINK NINE PLAYS TEN. 958 00:25:58,957 --> 00:26:00,793 >> Jimmy: NINE PLAYS TEN. 959 00:26:00,793 --> 00:26:01,026 UH‐HUH. 960 00:26:01,026 --> 00:26:02,761 >> LOSER IS OUT. 961 00:26:02,761 --> 00:26:04,863 SEVEN PLAYS EIGHT. 962 00:26:04,863 --> 00:26:06,565 AND I THINK THE LOSER GETS TO 963 00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:07,533 PLAY ANOTHER GAME, SOMETHING 964 00:26:07,533 --> 00:26:07,833 LIKE THAT. 965 00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:11,036 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THE LOSER PLAYS 966 00:26:11,036 --> 00:26:12,805 NINE, AND THEN WHOEVER WINS THAT 967 00:26:12,805 --> 00:26:14,173 GAME GETS THAT EIGHT SPOT. 968 00:26:14,173 --> 00:26:15,340 DO YOU LIKE THIS? 969 00:26:15,340 --> 00:26:17,076 >> MAN, I DON'T REALLY LIKE IT, 970 00:26:17,076 --> 00:26:20,546 BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS. 971 00:26:20,546 --> 00:26:20,913 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 972 00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:22,581 >> THE LAKERS ARE IN A POSITION 973 00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:22,881 NOW. 974 00:26:22,881 --> 00:26:24,483 SO I THINK IT'S VITAL THAT THEY 975 00:26:24,483 --> 00:26:25,184 WIN. 976 00:26:25,184 --> 00:26:26,418 ESPECIALLY IF THEY WANT TO 977 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:26,652 REPEAT. 978 00:26:26,652 --> 00:26:27,352 >> Jimmy: WELL, YEAH. 979 00:26:27,352 --> 00:26:27,953 IF THEY LOSE, THEY WON'T WIN. 980 00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:29,721 FOR SURE. 981 00:26:29,721 --> 00:26:30,522 YEAH. 982 00:26:30,522 --> 00:26:33,659 >> CORRECT. 983 00:26:33,659 --> 00:26:35,227 >> Jimmy: I LOOKED UP THE ODDS, 984 00:26:35,227 --> 00:26:35,461 THOUGH. 985 00:26:35,461 --> 00:26:36,862 DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THE ODDS, 986 00:26:36,862 --> 00:26:40,299 THE GAMBLING ODDS FROM VEGAS? 987 00:26:40,299 --> 00:26:42,334 >> I'M NOT A GAMBLER, I'M A ROLE 988 00:26:42,334 --> 00:26:42,634 MODEL, SIR. 989 00:26:42,634 --> 00:26:44,736 >> Jimmy: WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, 990 00:26:44,736 --> 00:26:45,270 THEN. 991 00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:46,805 EVEN THOUGH THE LAKERS ARE KIND 992 00:26:46,805 --> 00:26:48,240 OF FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES WITH 993 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,109 THIS PLAY‐IN THING, THEY'RE 994 00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:51,343 STILL NUMBER TWO IN VEGAS. 995 00:26:51,343 --> 00:26:52,544 THE NETS ARE THE FAVORITE. 996 00:26:52,544 --> 00:26:54,379 AND THEN THE LAKER, AND THEN YOU 997 00:26:54,379 --> 00:26:55,080 THE CLIPPERS. 998 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,116 DO YOU THINK THE LAKERS HAVE A 999 00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:58,684 GOOD CHANCE TO WIN THIS THING? 1000 00:26:58,684 --> 00:27:00,052 >> I THINK IF THEY ‐‐ IF 1001 00:27:00,052 --> 00:27:01,854 EVERYONE IS HEALTHY AND THE 1002 00:27:01,854 --> 00:27:02,921 SHOOTERS ARE SHOOTING THE BALL 1003 00:27:02,921 --> 00:27:03,822 WELL, DEFINITELY WITH LEBRON 1004 00:27:03,822 --> 00:27:04,456 JAMES YOU DEFINITELY HAVE A 1005 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:05,324 CHANCE TO WIN. 1006 00:27:05,324 --> 00:27:07,059 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO ASK YOU A 1007 00:27:07,059 --> 00:27:08,460 NONBASKETBALL QUESTION. 1008 00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:13,098 YOU'RE IN A ZALE'S JEWELRY 1009 00:27:13,098 --> 00:27:14,199 STORE, AND THERE WAS A GUY IN 1010 00:27:14,199 --> 00:27:14,500 THERE. 1011 00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:16,101 CORRECT ME IF I HAVE ANY OF THIS 1012 00:27:16,101 --> 00:27:16,301 WRONG. 1013 00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:17,970 AND HE WAS PAYING FOR AN 1014 00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:19,705 ENGAGEMENT RING FOR HIS FIANCEE, 1015 00:27:19,705 --> 00:27:21,173 AND YOU KIND OF OVERHEARD, YOU 1016 00:27:21,173 --> 00:27:23,408 SAW WHAT WAS GOING ON, AND YOU 1017 00:27:23,408 --> 00:27:24,943 DECIDED TO PAY FOR THAT RING. 1018 00:27:24,943 --> 00:27:25,577 THAT TRUE? 1019 00:27:25,577 --> 00:27:27,146 >> YEAH, HE WAS YOUNG KID. 1020 00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:28,847 I REALLY RESPECT HARD‐WORKING 1021 00:27:28,847 --> 00:27:29,815 YOUNG KIDS. 1022 00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:31,116 I RESPECT THE HARD WORKER 1023 00:27:31,116 --> 00:27:31,350 PERIOD. 1024 00:27:31,350 --> 00:27:33,318 AND HE WAS COMING IN, AND HE 1025 00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:35,020 WANTED TO PROPOSE TO HIS FIANCEE 1026 00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:38,357 A COUPLE OF WEEKS EARLIER, BUT 1027 00:27:38,357 --> 00:27:39,291 HE DIDN'T PUT ALL THE MONEY DOWN 1028 00:27:39,291 --> 00:27:40,259 ON THE RING YET. 1029 00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:41,793 HE WAS TRYING TO TELL THE GUY, 1030 00:27:41,793 --> 00:27:43,295 HEY, LET ME TAKE IT AND PROPOSE 1031 00:27:43,295 --> 00:27:45,364 TO HER, I'LL GIVE YOU THIS 1032 00:27:45,364 --> 00:27:46,064 AMOUNT AND THIS AMOUNT. 1033 00:27:46,064 --> 00:27:47,766 AND HE WAS SIR, I WISH I COULD, 1034 00:27:47,766 --> 00:27:48,433 BUT I COULDN'T. 1035 00:27:48,433 --> 00:27:50,035 I TOLD THE GUY, PUT IT ON MY 1036 00:27:50,035 --> 00:27:50,335 CREDIT CARD. 1037 00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:52,137 AND THE KID WAS NO, MAN, I DON'T 1038 00:27:52,137 --> 00:27:53,238 TAKE HANDOUTS. 1039 00:27:53,238 --> 00:27:54,706 WELL, IF YOU LOOK OVER IN THAT 1040 00:27:54,706 --> 00:27:56,041 SECTION, YOU SEE MY JEWELRY IN 1041 00:27:56,041 --> 00:27:58,277 THIS THING. 1042 00:27:58,277 --> 00:27:58,610 I OWN ZALE'S. 1043 00:27:58,610 --> 00:28:01,647 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 1044 00:28:01,647 --> 00:28:04,249 HE TOOK IT. 1045 00:28:04,249 --> 00:28:05,651 YOU KNOW, IT IS ACTUALLY 1046 00:28:05,651 --> 00:28:07,553 SOMETHING THAT I DO ALL THE 1047 00:28:07,553 --> 00:28:07,753 TIME. 1048 00:28:07,753 --> 00:28:09,821 >> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU DO DO THAT. 1049 00:28:09,821 --> 00:28:10,989 WHAT'S THE MOST EXPENSIVE THING 1050 00:28:10,989 --> 00:28:12,724 YOU EVER BOUGHT FOR A STRANGER? 1051 00:28:12,724 --> 00:28:14,126 >> MOST EXPENSIVE THING I'VE 1052 00:28:14,126 --> 00:28:15,794 EVER BOUGHT WAS FURNITURE FOR 1053 00:28:15,794 --> 00:28:16,662 THIS OLD LADY'S HOUSE. 1054 00:28:16,662 --> 00:28:18,830 I WAS IN THE STORE ONE DAY 1055 00:28:18,830 --> 00:28:20,632 TRYING TO GET A COUCH, AND I 1056 00:28:20,632 --> 00:28:22,634 JUST SAW THIS LADY LOOKING AT A 1057 00:28:22,634 --> 00:28:24,403 COUCH, AND SHE WAS COMPARING THE 1058 00:28:24,403 --> 00:28:24,670 PRICES. 1059 00:28:24,670 --> 00:28:26,371 AND I SAID MA'AM, JUST PAY FOR 1060 00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:26,905 THAT ONE. 1061 00:28:26,905 --> 00:28:28,340 AND SHE SAID OH, BABY, THANK 1062 00:28:28,340 --> 00:28:28,807 YOU. 1063 00:28:28,807 --> 00:28:30,042 MY HOUSE JUST CAUGHT ON FIRE. 1064 00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,210 I JUST NEED A HOUSE. 1065 00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:32,511 YOUR HOUSE CAUGHT ON FIRE? 1066 00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:33,478 WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED? 1067 00:28:33,478 --> 00:28:35,948 BABY, I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. 1068 00:28:35,948 --> 00:28:37,783 SO WE FURNISHED THE WHOLE HOUSE. 1069 00:28:37,783 --> 00:28:40,786 ABOUT 30,000. 1070 00:28:40,786 --> 00:28:41,286 >> Jimmy: NICE. 1071 00:28:41,286 --> 00:28:42,721 >> PUT A SMILE ON HER FACE. 1072 00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:45,190 I WAS GLAD TO BE ABLE TO DO 1073 00:28:45,190 --> 00:28:45,390 THAT. 1074 00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:46,725 >> Jimmy: WELL THAT IS A VERY 1075 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:47,559 SWEET THING TO DO. 1076 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:50,562 AND IMAGINE, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE 1077 00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:51,263 WHEN YOU WALK INTO A FURNITURE 1078 00:28:51,263 --> 00:28:51,997 STORE HOW SCARED THE COUCHES 1079 00:28:51,997 --> 00:28:58,403 ARE, YOU KNOW? 1080 00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:02,107 >> YOU KNOW, I HAVE SMALL BOOTY 1081 00:29:02,107 --> 00:29:02,608 COMPARED TO GUILLERMO. 1082 00:29:02,608 --> 00:29:03,108 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE RIGHT. 1083 00:29:03,108 --> 00:29:05,877 YOU'RE RIGHT. 1084 00:29:05,877 --> 00:29:07,312 >> Guillermo: OH, WHATEVER. 1085 00:29:07,312 --> 00:29:08,046 >> Jimmy: SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, THE 1086 00:29:08,046 --> 00:29:08,513 STATE FARM NBA 1087 00:29:08,513 --> 00:29:11,083 PLAY‐IN TOURNAMENT STARTS 1088 00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:11,550 TOMORROW NIGHT ON TNT. 1089 00:29:11,550 --> 00:29:12,184 THE HORNETS AT THE PACERS, 1090 00:29:12,184 --> 00:29:15,287 FOLLOWED BY WIZARDS AT CELTICS. 1091 00:29:15,287 --> 00:29:16,355 THERE HE IS. 1092 00:29:16,355 --> 00:29:17,823 DOUBLE HALL OF FAMER SHAQUILLE 1093 00:29:17,823 --> 00:29:18,757 O'NEAL. 1094 00:29:18,757 --> 00:29:19,291 THANKS, SHAQ! 1095 00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:20,359 WE'LL BE BACK WITH PATTON 1096 00:29:20,359 --> 00:29:20,592 OSWALT. 1097 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:24,162 ♪ 1098 00:29:30,068 --> 00:29:34,439 ♪ 1099 00:29:34,439 --> 00:29:35,974 >> Jimmy: MUSIC FROM CHASE RICE 1100 00:29:35,974 --> 00:29:37,609 IS ON THE WAY. 1101 00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:39,177 OUR NEXT GUEST IS NOT A LARGE 1102 00:29:39,177 --> 00:29:44,082 MAN PHYSICALLY, BUT HE HAS A 1103 00:29:44,082 --> 00:29:45,350 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL‐SIGHED BRAIN 1104 00:29:45,350 --> 00:29:46,752 AND A NEW PROJECT THAT WILL 1105 00:29:46,752 --> 00:29:48,320 WORLD. 1106 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:48,954 THE ANIMATED STOP‐MOTION SERIES, 1107 00:29:48,954 --> 00:29:52,724 "M.O.D.O.K." 1108 00:29:52,724 --> 00:29:53,825 >> YOU STILL CAN'T USE YOUR 1109 00:29:53,825 --> 00:29:57,729 MIND. 1110 00:29:57,729 --> 00:30:00,699 A MY DANG SHOULDER. 1111 00:30:00,699 --> 00:30:07,606 AHH! 1112 00:30:07,606 --> 00:30:16,648 ♪ 1113 00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:17,749 >> BECAUSE IT'S COOL. 1114 00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:19,985 >> THERE HE IS, MODOK HIMSELF, 1115 00:30:19,985 --> 00:30:21,119 PATTON OSWALT. 1116 00:30:21,119 --> 00:30:21,420 HEY, PATTON. 1117 00:30:21,420 --> 00:30:22,888 >> JIMMY, HEY! 1118 00:30:22,888 --> 00:30:26,258 HOW YOU DOING? 1119 00:30:26,258 --> 00:30:27,592 >> Jimmy: I'VE BEEN DYING, YOU 1120 00:30:27,592 --> 00:30:28,260 KNOW WHAT? 1121 00:30:28,260 --> 00:30:30,929 THIS MODOK, I THINK FOR SOMEBODY 1122 00:30:30,929 --> 00:30:33,198 MY AGE, KNOWING MODOK, WHICH IS 1123 00:30:33,198 --> 00:30:35,967 THIS KIND OF OBSCURE SUPER 1124 00:30:35,967 --> 00:30:38,470 VILLAIN FROM MARVEL COMICS, WHAT 1125 00:30:38,470 --> 00:30:40,706 YEAR DID MODOK PREMIERE? 1126 00:30:40,706 --> 00:30:43,775 >> I BELIEVE HE PREMIERED IN 1127 00:30:43,775 --> 00:30:45,677 CAPTAIN AMERICA IN 1964. 1128 00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:48,847 AND HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF 1129 00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:50,315 THOSE BOTTOM RUNG SUPER 1130 00:30:50,315 --> 00:30:50,582 VILLAINS. 1131 00:30:50,582 --> 00:30:53,618 BUT I LOVE WHAT ME AND MY 1132 00:30:53,618 --> 00:30:54,553 CO‐CREATOR JORDAN BLOOM LOVE 1133 00:30:54,553 --> 00:30:55,721 ABOUT HIM, HE IS AWARE OF WHERE 1134 00:30:55,721 --> 00:30:57,589 HE IS IN THE PECKING ORDER OF 1135 00:30:57,589 --> 00:30:59,057 SUPER VILLAINS, AND THAT IS PART 1136 00:30:59,057 --> 00:31:01,026 OF WHAT MAKES HIM SO ANGRY. 1137 00:31:01,026 --> 00:31:02,761 IT'S ALMOST LIKE HE IS ANGRIER 1138 00:31:02,761 --> 00:31:04,329 AT THE OTHER VILLAINS THAN HE IS 1139 00:31:04,329 --> 00:31:06,598 AT THE HEROES, BECAUSE NO ONE IS 1140 00:31:06,598 --> 00:31:08,734 GIVING HIM ANY ‐‐ HIS PROPS, HE 1141 00:31:08,734 --> 00:31:11,436 IS THIS GIANT FLOATING SEVEN 1142 00:31:11,436 --> 00:31:12,771 DIMENSIONAL BRAIN, BUT EVERYONE 1143 00:31:12,771 --> 00:31:15,374 TREATS HIM LIKE HE IS JUST IS A 1144 00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:16,041 STORE BRAND. 1145 00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:18,610 OH, YEAH, WHATEVER, MODOK, FINE. 1146 00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:18,877 WHATEVER. 1147 00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:20,645 AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM. 1148 00:31:20,645 --> 00:31:22,514 >> Jimmy: HE IS A CHARACTER. 1149 00:31:22,514 --> 00:31:24,416 IT ALMOST SEEMS LIKE THEY CAME 1150 00:31:24,416 --> 00:31:26,118 UP WITH AS A JOKE IN A WITH A. 1151 00:31:26,118 --> 00:31:27,919 THE NAME MODOK WOULD NEVER FLY 1152 00:31:27,919 --> 00:31:28,920 TODAY. 1153 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:32,124 IF YOU PITCHED MODOK, WHICH WHAT 1154 00:31:32,124 --> 00:31:33,792 DOES MODOK STAND FOR? 1155 00:31:33,792 --> 00:31:35,127 >> IT STANDS FOR MENTAL ORGANISM 1156 00:31:35,127 --> 00:31:39,364 DESIGNED ONLY FOR KILLING. 1157 00:31:39,364 --> 00:31:40,932 ALTHOUGH MY DAUGHTER POINTED OUT 1158 00:31:40,932 --> 00:31:44,503 THE OTHER NIGHT TECHNICALLY, HIS 1159 00:31:44,503 --> 00:31:51,143 NAME SHOULD BE MODOFK. 1160 00:31:51,143 --> 00:31:52,677 THE F SHOULD BE IN THERE. 1161 00:31:52,677 --> 00:31:54,246 JUST THINK OF SOMETHING REALLY 1162 00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:54,880 QUICK. 1163 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,381 FILL THE FIVE PAGES, WHATEVER 1164 00:31:56,381 --> 00:31:57,048 YOU DRAW. 1165 00:31:57,048 --> 00:31:59,618 AND THE GUY, WAS IN A BAD MOOD 1166 00:31:59,618 --> 00:32:00,385 WHEN HE DREW IT. 1167 00:32:00,385 --> 00:32:01,453 YOU WANT THIS? 1168 00:32:01,453 --> 00:32:03,488 DREW A GIANT HEAD WITH TINY 1169 00:32:03,488 --> 00:32:04,222 ARMS. 1170 00:32:04,222 --> 00:32:04,423 HERE. 1171 00:32:04,423 --> 00:32:05,390 I'M GOING HOME. 1172 00:32:05,390 --> 00:32:06,925 YOU CAN FEEL THE ANGER ON THE 1173 00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:10,629 PAGE COMING OFF OF MODOK. 1174 00:32:10,629 --> 00:32:11,263 IT'S SO GREAT. 1175 00:32:11,263 --> 00:32:13,698 >> Jimmy: AS A KID READING THIS 1176 00:32:13,698 --> 00:32:16,334 COMIC BOOK, YOU READ SPIDER MAN, 1177 00:32:16,334 --> 00:32:18,370 YOU IMAGINE YOURSELF AS SPIDER 1178 00:32:18,370 --> 00:32:20,772 MAN OR IRONMAN OR ANY OF THESE 1179 00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:21,072 GUYS. 1180 00:32:21,072 --> 00:32:23,074 DO YOU EVER IMAGINE YOU WOULD BE 1181 00:32:23,074 --> 00:32:23,341 MODOK? 1182 00:32:23,341 --> 00:32:23,875 >> NO. 1183 00:32:23,875 --> 00:32:25,644 AND NOT ONLY DID I NOT IMAGINE 1184 00:32:25,644 --> 00:32:28,146 I'D BE MODOK, WHEN I WOULD READ 1185 00:32:28,146 --> 00:32:29,815 SPIDER MAN, I WOULD GO SOME OF 1186 00:32:29,815 --> 00:32:32,083 HIS VILLAINS ARE KIND OF COOL, 1187 00:32:32,083 --> 00:32:34,719 THE SCORPION OR DOC OK. 1188 00:32:34,719 --> 00:32:36,087 EVERY NOW AND THEN MODOK WOULD 1189 00:32:36,087 --> 00:32:37,289 SHOW UP. 1190 00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:39,724 MODOK, WHENEVER HE SHOWS UP IN 1191 00:32:39,724 --> 00:32:40,125 COM 1192 00:32:40,125 --> 00:32:41,159 COMICS, HE COMES IN SCREAMING. 1193 00:32:41,159 --> 00:32:43,328 HE IS IMMEDIATELY DEFEATED. 1194 00:32:43,328 --> 00:32:44,196 THE FACT THAT THAT'S THE ONE I 1195 00:32:44,196 --> 00:32:47,566 GOT TO PLAY, IT'S JUST SO ‐‐ BUT 1196 00:32:47,566 --> 00:32:48,733 WE REALLY LEANED INTO THE FACT 1197 00:32:48,733 --> 00:32:51,703 THAT HE IS A COMPLETE DISASTER. 1198 00:32:51,703 --> 00:32:54,372 AND THAT'S PART OF THE SERIES 1199 00:32:54,372 --> 00:32:55,774 WHICH IS REALLY FUN. 1200 00:32:55,774 --> 00:32:56,675 >> Jimmy: NOT ONLY DID YOU MAKE 1201 00:32:56,675 --> 00:33:00,512 THE SHOW, YOU CO‐WROTE WITH YOUR 1202 00:33:00,512 --> 00:33:02,380 BUDDY JASON SOME OF THESE COMIC 1203 00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:02,614 BOOKS. 1204 00:33:02,614 --> 00:33:04,883 I HAVE TO TELL YOU. 1205 00:33:04,883 --> 00:33:05,584 >> YES. 1206 00:33:05,584 --> 00:33:07,786 >> Jimmy: I HAVE TO SAY I 1207 00:33:07,786 --> 00:33:10,422 HAVEN'T READ ‐‐ ADULT COMIC BOOK 1208 00:33:10,422 --> 00:33:11,590 BECAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT 1209 00:33:11,590 --> 00:33:11,823 EXISTS. 1210 00:33:11,823 --> 00:33:14,526 I HAVEN'T READ A COMIC BOOK THAT 1211 00:33:14,526 --> 00:33:15,460 WASN'T TARGETED AT 5‐YEAR‐OLDS 1212 00:33:15,460 --> 00:33:16,061 IN QUITE SOME TIME. 1213 00:33:16,061 --> 00:33:17,796 I GOT A LITTLE NERVOUS, OH, 1214 00:33:17,796 --> 00:33:18,763 YEAH, I COULD SEE MY WIFE 1215 00:33:18,763 --> 00:33:21,466 DIVORCING ME BECAUSE OF THIS. 1216 00:33:21,466 --> 00:33:25,237 >> YEAH, WE HAD A LOT OF FUN 1217 00:33:25,237 --> 00:33:26,671 DRAWING THAT, WRITING THE COMIC 1218 00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:28,106 BECAUSE WE WERE ABLE TO KIND OF 1219 00:33:28,106 --> 00:33:30,208 LINK HIM INTO THE BIGGER MARVEL 1220 00:33:30,208 --> 00:33:30,575 UNIVERSE. 1221 00:33:30,575 --> 00:33:32,644 WE HAD A LOT OF FUN WITH THE 1222 00:33:32,644 --> 00:33:32,844 SHOW. 1223 00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,646 THE IDEA, THIS IS NOT A SLOB 1224 00:33:34,646 --> 00:33:35,981 HUSBAND WITH A LONG SUFFERING 1225 00:33:35,981 --> 00:33:36,314 WIFE. 1226 00:33:36,314 --> 00:33:38,316 THIS IS A GUY WHO IN THE FIRST 1227 00:33:38,316 --> 00:33:39,384 EPISODE, THE WIFE IS I'M 1228 00:33:39,384 --> 00:33:40,051 DIVORCING YOU. 1229 00:33:40,051 --> 00:33:40,986 THIS DOES NOT WORK. 1230 00:33:40,986 --> 00:33:41,686 I'M LEAVING. 1231 00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:43,488 AND THAT BECOMES THE PLOT. 1232 00:33:43,488 --> 00:33:45,056 IT'S JUST REALLY FUN. 1233 00:33:45,056 --> 00:33:46,424 >> Jimmy: THAT IS ‐‐ I LOVE WHAT 1234 00:33:46,424 --> 00:33:47,392 YOU GUYS HAVE DONE. 1235 00:33:47,392 --> 00:33:49,294 AND I LOVE STOP‐MOTION ANIMATION 1236 00:33:49,294 --> 00:33:49,528 TOO. 1237 00:33:49,528 --> 00:33:50,562 IT IS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE 1238 00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:51,196 THINGS THAT JUST BRINGS ME RIGHT 1239 00:33:51,196 --> 00:33:52,063 BACK TO CHILDHOOD. 1240 00:33:52,063 --> 00:33:54,799 >> YES. 1241 00:33:54,799 --> 00:33:56,434 YEAH, THAT WAS KIND OF OUR 1242 00:33:56,434 --> 00:33:57,402 THINKING. 1243 00:33:57,402 --> 00:33:59,237 WE WENT TO STUPID BUDDY, THE 1244 00:33:59,237 --> 00:34:01,273 GUYS WHO DO ROBOT CHICKEN AT 1245 00:34:01,273 --> 00:34:02,374 SETH GREEN'S COMPANY. 1246 00:34:02,374 --> 00:34:03,174 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 1247 00:34:03,174 --> 00:34:04,476 >> IF YOU HAVE EVER VISITED 1248 00:34:04,476 --> 00:34:07,078 STUPID BUDDY, IT'S LIKE WILLY 1249 00:34:07,078 --> 00:34:08,813 WONKA'S CHOCOLATE FACTORY FOR 1250 00:34:08,813 --> 00:34:09,080 GEEKS. 1251 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:10,415 IT'S EVERY NERDY THING YOU'VE 1252 00:34:10,415 --> 00:34:13,151 EVER WANTED IN ONE BUILDING, AND 1253 00:34:13,151 --> 00:34:14,252 THEY'RE ALL BUILDING THESE 1254 00:34:14,252 --> 00:34:16,221 DIFFERENT CREATURES AND 1255 00:34:16,221 --> 00:34:16,555 ENVIRONMENTS. 1256 00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:18,123 WE JUST LOVE THE FACT THAT 1257 00:34:18,123 --> 00:34:19,991 BECAUSE THIS WAS ‐‐ MODOK WAS 1258 00:34:19,991 --> 00:34:21,359 CREATED BY JACK KIRBY, WHO IS 1259 00:34:21,359 --> 00:34:23,228 THIS REALLY BIG PERSONALITY, 1260 00:34:23,228 --> 00:34:24,696 THAT IT'S GOT TO BE 3‐D. 1261 00:34:24,696 --> 00:34:27,432 IT'S GOT TO HAVE THAT SAME BIG 1262 00:34:27,432 --> 00:34:29,968 LOUD PERSONALITY THAT MODOK HAS. 1263 00:34:29,968 --> 00:34:33,538 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WELL. 1264 00:34:33,538 --> 00:34:35,206 WHEN YOU'RE JUST A HEAD IN A CAN 1265 00:34:35,206 --> 00:34:38,410 WITH TINY NIL ARM, YOU'RE 1266 00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:39,010 PROBABLY GOING TO 1267 00:34:39,010 --> 00:34:39,377 OVERCOMPENSATE. 1268 00:34:39,377 --> 00:34:40,478 >> LITERAL I WILL, THAT'S ALL HE 1269 00:34:40,478 --> 00:34:41,479 CAN DO. 1270 00:34:41,479 --> 00:34:42,948 HIS SUPERPOWER IS 1271 00:34:42,948 --> 00:34:43,348 OVERCOMPENSATION. 1272 00:34:43,348 --> 00:34:47,085 I JUST NOW REALIZED THAT. 1273 00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:49,287 HIS SUPER POWER IS 1274 00:34:49,287 --> 00:34:49,688 OVERCOMPENSATION. 1275 00:34:49,688 --> 00:34:51,022 >> Jimmy: PATTON, DID YOU WATCH 1276 00:34:51,022 --> 00:34:51,523 "60 MINUTES" LAST NIGHT? 1277 00:34:51,523 --> 00:34:55,226 >> I DID. 1278 00:34:55,226 --> 00:34:55,961 YES, I DID. 1279 00:34:55,961 --> 00:34:58,129 >> Jimmy: I CAN'T LIKE ‐‐ I 1280 00:34:58,129 --> 00:34:59,664 THINK LIKE 80% OF OUR STAFF HAD 1281 00:34:59,664 --> 00:35:01,132 NO IDEA WHAT I WAS TALKING 1282 00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:01,466 ABOUT. 1283 00:35:01,466 --> 00:35:03,134 AM I NUTS WHEN I SAY THIS IS 1284 00:35:03,134 --> 00:35:04,269 WHAT WE SHOULD ALL BE FOCUSED ON 1285 00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:05,270 RIGHT NOW? 1286 00:35:05,270 --> 00:35:07,238 >> LISTEN, I AGREE WITH WHAT 1287 00:35:07,238 --> 00:35:08,039 SHAQ SAID EARLIER. 1288 00:35:08,039 --> 00:35:09,407 AND BY THE WAY, I'M 1289 00:35:09,407 --> 00:35:09,741 BROADCASTING. 1290 00:35:09,741 --> 00:35:11,209 I'M IN THIS POCKET RIGHT NOW. 1291 00:35:11,209 --> 00:35:17,015 I'M IN HIS SHIRT POCKET. 1292 00:35:17,015 --> 00:35:20,018 BUT NO, HERE IS WHAT IS 1293 00:35:20,018 --> 00:35:20,785 FRUSTRATING FOR ME. 1294 00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:24,222 I'VE NEVER PERSONALLY SEEN A UFO 1295 00:35:24,222 --> 00:35:25,824 OR A GHOST OR EXPERIENCED A TIME 1296 00:35:25,824 --> 00:35:26,825 SHIFT OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 1297 00:35:26,825 --> 00:35:29,194 BUT I'M VERY, VERY OPEN TO THAT 1298 00:35:29,194 --> 00:35:29,461 EXISTING. 1299 00:35:29,461 --> 00:35:30,996 AND I'M SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE, 1300 00:35:30,996 --> 00:35:32,764 FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHO HAVE SEEN 1301 00:35:32,764 --> 00:35:36,334 AND ENCOUNTERED UFOs. 1302 00:35:36,334 --> 00:35:38,203 MY DAD WAS A TEST PILOT IN THE 1303 00:35:38,203 --> 00:35:40,071 MARINES ALL THROUGH THE '60s AND 1304 00:35:40,071 --> 00:35:40,372 '70s. 1305 00:35:40,372 --> 00:35:43,174 AND WHEN HE WAS STATIONED AT EL 1306 00:35:43,174 --> 00:35:44,876 TORO, TALK TO ANY PILOT THAT. 1307 00:35:44,876 --> 00:35:46,311 >> SEE ALL KINDS OF WEIRD STUFF 1308 00:35:46,311 --> 00:35:48,079 UP THERE, BUT THEY JUST DON'T 1309 00:35:48,079 --> 00:35:49,080 REPORT IT BECAUSE THEY DON'T 1310 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,949 WANT TO GO INTO A CRANK FILE. 1311 00:35:50,949 --> 00:35:52,817 SO HE SAID HE WAS ON A TEST 1312 00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:55,720 FLIGHT AND HE SAW A BUNCH OF 1313 00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:57,322 OBJECTS THAT HE SAID THEY LOOKED 1314 00:35:57,322 --> 00:35:59,958 LIKE GLOWING BALLS OF ENERGY IN 1315 00:35:59,958 --> 00:36:01,259 THESE ROUND METAL CAGES. 1316 00:36:01,259 --> 00:36:02,794 AND THEY WERE KEEPING TRACK WITH 1317 00:36:02,794 --> 00:36:03,395 THE JETS. 1318 00:36:03,395 --> 00:36:04,796 AND THEY WOULD DO THESE TURNS 1319 00:36:04,796 --> 00:36:06,031 THAT YOU COULDN'T DO UNDER THOSE 1320 00:36:06,031 --> 00:36:06,898 G FORCES. 1321 00:36:06,898 --> 00:36:07,999 IT WOULD DISAPPEAR. 1322 00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:09,668 AND WHEN HE CAME DOWN AND TALKED 1323 00:36:09,668 --> 00:36:11,970 TO HIS BASE COMMANDER AND SAID 1324 00:36:11,970 --> 00:36:13,104 HEY, MY SQUAD SAW. 1325 00:36:13,104 --> 00:36:15,006 AND THE BASE COMMANDER WENT WERE 1326 00:36:15,006 --> 00:36:16,775 THEY METAL CAGES WITH ENERGY 1327 00:36:16,775 --> 00:36:17,475 BALLS IN THEM? 1328 00:36:17,475 --> 00:36:17,942 AND YEAH. 1329 00:36:17,942 --> 00:36:20,545 DO YOU WANT TO REPORT THEM? 1330 00:36:20,545 --> 00:36:21,279 NO, I DON'T. 1331 00:36:21,279 --> 00:36:22,947 AND THE COMMANDER JUST WENT 1332 00:36:22,947 --> 00:36:23,481 GOOD, FINE. 1333 00:36:23,481 --> 00:36:25,183 AND WALKED AWAY. 1334 00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:26,117 >> Jimmy: WOW. 1335 00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:26,618 >> YEAH. 1336 00:36:26,618 --> 00:36:31,122 I MEAN, I'M JUST SAYING THIS NEW 1337 00:36:31,122 --> 00:36:33,491 WHAT IS IT CALLED, ATIP? 1338 00:36:33,491 --> 00:36:35,093 THAT'S THE THING THAT CONGRESS 1339 00:36:35,093 --> 00:36:37,729 IS DOING TO LOOK AT ALL THESE 1340 00:36:37,729 --> 00:36:37,962 REPORTS? 1341 00:36:37,962 --> 00:36:38,496 >> Jimmy: YES. 1342 00:36:38,496 --> 00:36:40,799 >> ARE THEY GOING TO GO BOOK IS 1343 00:36:40,799 --> 00:36:42,567 PROJECT BLUEBOOK FROM THE '70s 1344 00:36:42,567 --> 00:36:44,002 WHERE THEY WERE REALLY GOING 1345 00:36:44,002 --> 00:36:45,937 INTO ‐‐ IS ALL THAT STUFF LOCKED 1346 00:36:45,937 --> 00:36:46,137 AWAY? 1347 00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:48,306 WHAT'S GOING ON? 1348 00:36:48,306 --> 00:36:48,940 >> Jimmy: WELL, I'LL CALL YOU 1349 00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:50,041 AFTER THE SHOW AND LET YOU KNOW 1350 00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:50,909 WHAT'S GOING ON. 1351 00:36:50,909 --> 00:36:53,178 BY THE WAY, SPEAKING ABOUT A 1352 00:36:53,178 --> 00:36:55,280 BALL OF ENERGY INSIDE A METAL 1353 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,683 CAGE, IT'S MODOK RIGHT THERE. 1354 00:36:58,683 --> 00:37:01,219 THAT'S WHAT YOUR DAD WAS 1355 00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:01,553 FORESHADOWING. 1356 00:37:01,553 --> 00:37:04,222 >> WAIT A MINUTE, OH, GOD! 1357 00:37:04,222 --> 00:37:04,889 IT'S ALL HAPPENING! 1358 00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:05,957 IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER. 1359 00:37:05,957 --> 00:37:07,525 JIMMY, I GOT TO GET OUT OF THE 1360 00:37:07,525 --> 00:37:07,759 COUNTRY. 1361 00:37:07,759 --> 00:37:08,293 I GOT TO GO. 1362 00:37:08,293 --> 00:37:10,428 >> Jimmy: PATTON OSWALT. 1363 00:37:10,428 --> 00:37:12,430 YOU CAN SEE ALL THE EPISODES OF 1364 00:37:12,430 --> 00:37:13,465 "MARVEL'S M. O. D. O. K." STARTING 1365 00:37:13,465 --> 00:37:15,266 STREAMING MAY 21st ON HULU. 1366 00:37:15,266 --> 00:37:16,334 GREAT TO SEE YOU. 1367 00:37:16,334 --> 00:37:16,935 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUSIC 1368 00:37:16,935 --> 00:37:18,403 FROM CHASE RICE. 1369 00:37:22,540 --> 00:37:23,575 >> Announcer: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL 1370 00:37:23,575 --> 00:37:24,609 LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS 1371 00:37:24,609 --> 00:37:26,177 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. 1372 00:37:26,177 --> 00:37:32,450 THE BEST OR NOTHING. 1373 00:37:32,450 --> 00:37:33,551 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, EARTHLINGS, 1374 00:37:33,551 --> 00:37:35,720 I'S TIME FOR MUSIC. 1375 00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:37,489 THIS ALBUM IS CALLED "THE 1376 00:37:37,489 --> 00:37:37,722 ALBUM." 1377 00:37:37,722 --> 00:37:38,156 COMES OUT MAY 28th. 1378 00:37:38,156 --> 00:37:39,057 WITH THE SONG "DRINKING BEER, 1379 00:37:39,057 --> 00:37:41,326 TALKIN' GOD, AMEN," CHASE RICE! 1380 00:37:41,326 --> 00:37:44,095 [ APPLAUSE ] 1381 00:37:44,829 --> 00:37:48,967 ♪ 1382 00:37:48,967 --> 00:37:49,501 ♪ FIREWOOD CRACKLE IN 1383 00:37:49,501 --> 00:37:50,001 THE FALL AIR 1384 00:37:50,001 --> 00:37:50,535 RED DIRT PLAYING 1385 00:37:50,535 --> 00:37:52,604 ON THE RADIO ♪ 1386 00:37:52,604 --> 00:37:53,638 ♪ BIG DIPPER HANGING 1387 00:37:53,638 --> 00:37:55,206 HIGH UP THERE 1388 00:37:55,206 --> 00:37:55,774 BREATHE IN THE BACKWOODS ♪ 1389 00:37:55,774 --> 00:37:56,775 ♪ AND LET IT GO 1390 00:37:56,775 --> 00:37:57,809 I AIN'T NEVER 1391 00:37:57,809 --> 00:37:59,911 BEEN THE CHURCH GOING TYPE ♪ 1392 00:37:59,911 --> 00:38:01,446 ♪ CAN'T QUOTE MUCH PAST 3:16 1393 00:38:01,446 --> 00:38:02,514 EVEN THOUGH IT'S 1394 00:38:02,514 --> 00:38:04,048 A FRIDAY NIGHT ♪ 1395 00:38:04,048 --> 00:38:06,684 ♪ CHURCH FOUND ME 1396 00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:08,253 SITTIN' HERE DRINKIN' BEER 1397 00:38:08,253 --> 00:38:10,855 TALKIN' GOD AMEN ♪ 1398 00:38:10,855 --> 00:38:12,957 ♪ KILLING TIME LIVIN LIFE 1399 00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:16,594 WITH SOME DOWN HOME FRIENDS 1400 00:38:16,594 --> 00:38:18,163 WHEN THE WORLDS GONE CRAZY ♪ 1401 00:38:18,163 --> 00:38:20,265 ♪ MAN IT ALL MAKES SENSE 1402 00:38:20,265 --> 00:38:21,800 SITTIN' HERE DRINKIN BEER 1403 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:26,938 TALKIN' GOD AMEN ♪ 1404 00:38:26,938 --> 00:38:30,608 ♪ AMEN 1405 00:38:30,608 --> 00:38:31,643 ♪ GOTTA THANK HIM FOR A 1406 00:38:31,643 --> 00:38:32,677 LITTLE PIECE OF DIRT 1407 00:38:32,677 --> 00:38:34,245 LITTLE PEACE OF MIND ♪ 1408 00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:35,814 ♪ FROM A COLD ONE 1409 00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:36,347 GOTTA COUNTRY ANGEL 1410 00:38:36,347 --> 00:38:37,882 I DON'T DESERVE ♪ 1411 00:38:37,882 --> 00:38:38,416 ♪ THE KIND THAT YOU 1412 00:38:38,416 --> 00:38:39,984 NEVER LET GO OF 1413 00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,052 I DON'T KNOW WHAT ♪ 1414 00:38:41,052 --> 00:38:41,553 ♪ HEAVEN LOOKS LIKE 1415 00:38:41,553 --> 00:38:43,121 NAH 1416 00:38:43,121 --> 00:38:45,290 I DON'T THINK ANYBODY DOES ♪ 1417 00:38:45,290 --> 00:38:46,324 ♪ IF IT'S LIKE DOWN HERE 1418 00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:47,358 UP THERE TONIGHT 1419 00:38:47,358 --> 00:38:48,927 THERE'S FOLKS LIKE US ♪ 1420 00:38:48,927 --> 00:38:51,029 ♪ SITTIN' HERE DRINKIN' BEER 1421 00:38:51,029 --> 00:38:54,165 TALKIN' GOD AMEN 1422 00:38:54,165 --> 00:38:55,166 KILLING TIME LIVIN' LIFE ♪ 1423 00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:57,735 ♪ WITH SOME DOWN 1424 00:38:57,735 --> 00:38:59,270 HOME FRIENDS 1425 00:38:59,270 --> 00:39:00,338 WHEN THE WORLD'S GONE CRAZY 1426 00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:04,509 MAN IT ALL MAKES SENSE ♪ 1427 00:39:04,509 --> 00:39:05,543 ♪ SITTIN HERE DRINKIN BEER 1428 00:39:05,543 --> 00:39:10,915 TALKIN GOD AMEN 1429 00:39:10,915 --> 00:39:21,793 ♪ 1430 00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:23,962 ♪ I DON'T KNOW WHAT HEAVEN LOOKS 1431 00:39:23,962 --> 00:39:26,664 LIKE, AND WHO THE HELL DOES ♪ 1432 00:39:26,664 --> 00:39:28,433 ♪ IF IT'S LIKE DOWN HERE UP 1433 00:39:28,433 --> 00:39:29,701 THERE TONIGHT, 1434 00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:30,201 THERE'S FOLKS LIKE US 1435 00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:30,735 SITTIN HERE DRINKIN BEER. 1436 00:39:30,735 --> 00:39:32,237 TALKIN' GOD AMEN 1437 00:39:32,237 --> 00:39:33,805 KILLING TIME LIVIN' LIFE 1438 00:39:33,805 --> 00:39:38,476 WITH SOME DOWN HOME ♪ 1439 00:39:38,476 --> 00:39:40,578 ♪ FRIENDS SITTIN HERE 1440 00:39:40,578 --> 00:39:41,613 DRINKIN BEER 1441 00:39:41,613 --> 00:39:44,282 TALKIN' GOD AMEN ♪ 1442 00:39:44,282 --> 00:39:46,417 ♪ KILLING TIME LIVIN' LIFE 1443 00:39:46,417 --> 00:39:50,021 WITH SOME DOWN HOME FRIENDS 1444 00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:51,589 WHEN THE WORLD'S GONE ♪ 1445 00:39:51,589 --> 00:39:53,157 ♪ CRAZY MAN IT 1446 00:39:53,157 --> 00:39:54,225 ALL MAKES SENSE 1447 00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:55,793 SITTIN HERE DRINKIN BEER 1448 00:39:55,793 --> 00:39:59,797 TALKING GOD AMEN ♪ 1449 00:39:59,797 --> 00:40:06,437 ♪ AMEN 1450 00:40:06,437 --> 00:40:09,173 ♪ TALKING GOD AMEN, SITTING HERE 1451 00:40:09,173 --> 00:40:11,676 DRINKING BEER, TALKING GOD AM 1452 00:40:11,676 --> 00:40:17,849 AMEN ♪ 1453 00:40:17,849 --> 00:40:20,418 >> YEAH, BABY. 1454 00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:22,854 >> THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE CONCERT 1455 00:40:22,854 --> 00:40:23,955 SERIES IS PRESENTED BY 1456 00:40:23,955 --> 00:40:24,489 MERCEDES‐BENZ, THE BEST OR 1457 00:40:24,489 --> 00:40:24,889 NOTHING. 1458 00:40:27,058 --> 00:40:27,592 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK 1459 00:40:27,592 --> 00:40:28,226 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, PATTON OSWALT, 1460 00:40:28,226 --> 00:40:29,127 AND CHASE RICE. 1461 00:40:29,127 --> 00:40:30,695 APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. 1462 00:40:30,695 --> 00:40:31,729 TOMORROW NIGHT ‐‐ 1463 00:40:31,729 --> 00:40:34,866 GABRIELLE UNION, DWAYNE WADE, 1464 00:40:34,866 --> 00:40:35,900 AND KIRBY HOWELL‐BAPTISTE, WITH 1465 00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:36,367 MUSIC FROM ROYAL BLOOD. 1466 00:40:36,367 --> 00:40:37,435 "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. 1467 00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:41,372 AND I DON'T SAY THIS ENOUGH, BUT 1468 00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:42,573 I WANT YOU TO KNOW, YOUR MOTHER 1469 00:40:42,573 --> 00:40:44,809 AND I ARE VERY PROUD OF YOU. 1470 00:40:44,809 --> 00:40:45,543 GOOD NIGHT.