>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"!
TONIGHT -- EWAN MCGREGOR,
GEORGE WALLACE, AND MUSIC FROM LUCKY DAYE
FEATURING YEBBA, AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
>> Jimmy: HI, I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING, AND THANK YOU FOR JOINING US ON THE
DAY AFTER THE "POST ABOUT YOUR MOM INSTAGRAM" DAY.
I HOPE YOU DIDN'T SCREW THAT UP. THERE'S A LOT OF PRESSURE ON
MOTHER'S DAY, I USUALLY JUST PRETEND I WAS KIDNAPPED.
AND I RETURN LATER THAT NIGHT. DID YOU MEET THE CHALLENGE,
GUILLERMO? >> Guillermo: YES, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DID YOU DO? >> Guillermo: I ORDERED
BREAKFAST FOR MY WIFE. >> Jimmy: WHERE DID YOU ORDER IT
FROM? >> Guillermo: JOE'S CAFE.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DID YOU GET HER? >> Guillermo: I GOT HER
PANCAKES, A SANDWICH AND COFFEE AND EVERYTHING.
>> Jimmy: SHE HAD PANCAKES AND SANDWICH FOR BREAKFAST?
>> Guillermo: THE SANDWICH WAS FOR ME.
>> Jimmy: I FIGURED SOMETHING OUT THIS WEEKEND, MOMS
DON'T ACTUALLY LIKE MIMOSAS. WHAT THEY REALLY LIKE IS TO GET
DRUNK AT BREAKFAST. MANY CHILDREN WERE ON THE MOVE
THIS WEEKEND. TRAVEL WAS UP BY A LOT.
THIS WAS THE BUSIEST WEEKEND AT AIRPORTS SINCE THE START OF THE
PANDEMIC. ALL SO YOUR MOM CAN TELL YOU
"YOU LOOK TIRED" IN PERSON. EVEN THE NRA OFFERED A MOTHER'S
DAY MESSAGE. THEY TWEETED THIS SWEET IMAGE OF
MOTHER AND DAUGHTER WITH GUNS. IT SAYS "MAMA DIDN'T RAISE A
VICTIM." IT LOOKS LIKE AN AD FOR THE
WORST WB SHOW EVER. DOESN'T IT?
"THE KILLMORE GIRLS." PRESIDENTS BIDEN AND OBAMA
TWEETED MOTHER'S DAY WISHES YESTERDAY.
AS DID DONALD TRUMP. HE ISN'T ALLOWED ON TWITTER
ANYMORE SO HE WROTE THIS ON HIS WEBSITE.
HE WROTE -- "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL.
IT WILL ALL COME BACK BIGGER AND BETTER AND STRONGER THAN EVER
BEFORE. DO NOT WORRY!"
OKAY, WELL, NOW I'M WORRIED. NOTHING CAN EVER BE ABOUT
ANYTHING OTHER THAN HIM. IT CAN'T JUST BE MOTHER'S DAY.
IT HAS TO BE WE'LL COME BACK. AND THEN, THREE MINUTES LATER,
OUR KENTUCKY FRIED FORMER PRESIDENT WEIGHED IN ON THE
DRAMA SURROUNDING THE KENTUCKY DERBY.
YOU HEARD WHAT HAPPENED AT THE KENTUCKY DERBY?
>> Guillermo: NO, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: THE WINNER, THERE WAS
STEROIDS IN THE HORSE. TRUMP WROTE "SO NOW EVEN OUR
KENTUCKY DERBY WINNER, MEDINA SPIRIT, IS A JUNKY.
THIS IS EMBLEMATIC OF WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR COUNTRY."
STAY WITH HIM HERE. HE GETS TO THE POINT.
"THE WHOLE WORLD IS LAUGHING AT US AS WE GO TO HELL ON OUR
BORDERS, OUR FAKE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, AND EVERYWHERE ELSE!"
AND WHO KNOWS MORE ABOUT THE WORLD LAUGHING AT US THAN OUR
OWN TRIPLE CLOWN? DONALD TRUMP.
WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? DOES HE THINK THE HORSE TESTED
POSITIVE FOR ANTIFA? AND HONESTLY, IF HE'S GOING TO
START PICKING FIGHTS WITH HORSES, WE SHOULD LET HIM BACK
ON TWITTER. BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE THAT.
YESTERDAY, WE LEARNED THAT JUNKY COLD MEDINA TESTED POSITIVE FOR
A STEROID. THE HORSE'S TRAINER,
BOB BAFFERT, CLAIMS HE HAS NO IDEA HOW IT HAPPENED.
BUT HE DOES SEEM TO HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT.
>> CHURCHILL DOWNS CAME OUT WITH THAT STATEMENT THAT WAS PRETTY
HARSH, AND I THINK THEY HAD TO JUST, YOU KNOW, WITH ALL THE
NOISE GOING OUT, YOU KNOW, WE LIVE IN A DIFFERENT WORLD NOW.
THIS AMERICA IS DIFFERENT. AND IT WAS LIKE A CANCEL CULTURE
KIND OF A THING. SO THEY'RE REVIEWING IT.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, RIGHT. YOUR HORSE TESTED POSITIVE FOR
STEROIDS BECAUSE OF CANCEL CULTURE.
PROBABLY SOME LOUD-MOUTH LESBIANS GOT IN THE STALL THERE
AND INJECTED HIM WITH IT. IT'S HORSE RACISM IS WHAT IT IS.
THE OTHER BIG ANIMAL STORY COMES FROM HOUSTON, WHERE A BENGAL
TIGER WAS ON THE LOOSE IN A RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD LAST
NIGHT. OH, FLORIDA IS SO JEALOUS RIGHT
NOW. THIS IS A TIGER.
YOU CAN SEE HERE AN OFFDUTY POLICE OFFICER, HE HAD HAZE GUN
DRAWN UNTIL THE TIGER'S OWNER SHOWED UP.
AND RETRIEVED IT. AND THEN IT GOT WEIRDER FROM
THERE. >> AN OFFDUTY DEPUTY CAME TO THE
HOUSE AND CONFRONTED THE OWNER OF THE TIGER.
THERE WAS A BRIEF CONFRONTATION ABOUT THE TIGER BEING OUT IN
PUBLIC, WHICH IS AGAINST CITY ORDINANCE TO HAVE A TIGER HERE
IN THE CITY OF HOUSTON. THE OWNER OF THE TIGER TOOK THE
TIGER BACK IN TO THE RESIDENCE. WHEN HPD SHOWED UP, THE OWNER
PUT THE TIGER IN A WHITE SUV AND DROVE OFF FROM THE SCENE.
THERE WAS A BRIEF PURSUIT, AND THE MAN GOT AWAY WITH THE TIGER.
>> Jimmy: HE GOT AWAY. IT TURNS OUT THE MAN WHO GOT
AWAY WITH THE TIGER IS WANTED FOR MURDER.
HE AND THE TIGER ARE STILL ON THE LOOSE.
BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A WHITE JEEP CHEROKEE BEING DRIVEN BY A
MAN WITH NO HEAD. SOMETIMES THESE NETFLIX
DOCUMENTARIES WRITE THEMSELVES. MEANWHILE IN ENGLAND WHERE THEY
WILL LOVE THIS TIGER STORY, THEY ARE REOPENING FOR BUSINESS AND
ALSO REOPENING THEIR ARMS. PRIME MINISTER BORIS JOHNSON
TODAY GAVE THE OKAY FOR WHAT THEY CALL "CAUTIOUS HUGGING."
STARTING A WEEK FROM TODAY, THOSE WHO LIVE IN THE UK WILL BE
OKAY TO CAUTIOUSLY HUG ONCE AGAIN.
I HAVE TO SAY THIS IS SHOCKING TO ME BECAUSE I WAS UNDER THE
IMPRESSION THAT IF YOU HUGGED A BRITISH PERSON.
THAT WOULD EXPLODE. IT'S NOT SOMETHING THEY DO.
HOW HAVE THEY BEEN REGULATING THAT?
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS ILLEGAL. OUTLAWING HUGS?
SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THE VILLAIN WOULD DO IN A CARE BEARS
MOVIE. AND DON'T THINK IT'S A
COINCIDENCE THAT THIS DECISION TO RESUME HUGGING WAS MADE THREE
WEEKS AFTER THE QUEEN BECAME SINGLE.
"HUGGING," YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
THAT U.K. VARIANT OF COVID IS NOW WREAKING HAVOC HERE IN THE
STATES. PRIMARILY IN FLORIDA.
IN THE WEEKS AFTER SPRING BREAK, THERE WAS A SURGE IN CASES OF
COVID. BECAUSE THEY DID NOT LOCK IT
DOWN. THOUGH TO BE FAIR, HOW COULD
GOVERNOR DESANTIS HAVE KNWN THAT SPRING BREAK TRAVEL MIGHT
POSSIBLY RESULT IN THE SPREAD OF DANGEROUS VARIANTS?
>> INFECTIOUS DISEASE EXPERTS ARE PLEADING TO ANYONE WHO WILL
LISTEN, ASKING THEM TO HOLD OFF ON TRAVELING FOR SPRING BREAK.
>> THEY'RE CONCERNED ABOUT YET ANOTHER SURGE AS WE HEAD INTO
SPRING BREAK. >> IN FACT, THEY'RE WARNING THAT
CROWDS PACKING FLORIDA BEACHES COULD REALLY CONTRIBUTE TO A
SPIKE IN CORONAVIRUS CASES. >> WITH SPRING BREAK IN FULL
SWING HERE IN SOUTH FLORIDA, HEALTH EXPERTS WORRY IT COULD
LEAD TO ANOTHER SPIKE. >> FLORIDA LEADS THE COUNTRY IN
B.1.1.7 VARIANTS, AND LOCAL DOCTORS ARE WORRIED THAT SPRING
BREAKERS MAY BE HEADED HOME WITH MORE THAN JUST SOUVENIRS.
>> Jimmy: IN FLORIDA, "SOUVENIRS" MEANS CHLAMYDIA.
THE GOOD NEWS IS FLORIDA NOW HAS TIGHT COVID RESTRICTIONS IN
PLACE THAT SHOULD -- OH WAIT, THE GOVERNOR LIFTED ALL
THE RESTRICTIONS LAST WEEK? NEVER MIND.
IT'S FLORIDA. AS MORE PEOPLE DO GET
VACCINATED, ONE THING WE WILL BE SEEING MORE OF IS FACES.
YOU KNOW, THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO WORK HERE WHOSE WHOLE FACES I'VE
NEVER SEEN. AT THE END, THEY'LL BE TAKING
OFF THEIR MASKS LIKE A YEAR LONG EPISODE OF "SCOOBY DOO."
IT'S DEFINITELY GOING TO BE WEIRD WHEN WE STOP WEARING MASKS
ALL THE TIME. AND IT MIGHT TAKE SOME GETTING
USED TO, SO, AS A PUBLIC SERVICE, THE U.S. DEPT. OF
HEALTH & HUMAN SERVICES MADE THIS VIDEO TO HELP US PUT OUR
BEST FACE FORWARD. >> THE FOLLOWING IS A MESSAGE
FROM THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES.
>> YOU HAVEN'T SHOWN YOUR FACE IN PUBLIC FOR 13 MONTHS, BUT NOW
THAT COVID RESTRICTIONS ARE LIFTING, YOU'LL ONCE AGAIN BE
SUBJECT TO A WIDE ARRAY OF SOCIAL CUES.
WHEN THE TIME COMES, WILL YOU REMEMBER WHICH FACE TO MAKE?
LET'S GIVE IT A TRY. IF SOMEONE WERE TO SAY TO YOU
GREAT NEWS, I AM GETTING MARRIED.
>> WHAT FACIAL EXPRESSION WITH YOU USE?
NOT QUITE. SORRY, GUY.
THE CORRECT RESPONSE IS A WIDE HAPPY SMILE.
YOU'RE GETTING THERE. LET'S TRY AGAIN.
>> MY DOG GOT RUN OVER BY A CAR. >> HOW DOES YOUR FACE RESPOND TO
THAT? NOPE.
HUH-UH. NOW YOU MAKE A SAD FACE.
EDGES OF YOUR LIPS DOWN. BETTER.
LET'S DO ONE MORE. NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY.
>> I BELIEVE COVID IS A HOAX AND VACCINES ARE THE DEVIL'S BLOOD.
>> HOW WOULD YOU FACE REACT TO THIS DISTURBING STATEMENT?
N UH-HUH, NO.
YOU SHOULD MAKE A SHOCKED AND ANGRY FACE.
STOP NODDING YES. WAIT, ARE YOU QANON SUPPORTERS?
OH FOR [ BLEEP ] SAKE. >> TOM HANKS EATS BABIES.
>> THE PROCEEDING WAS A MESSAGE FROM THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF
HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES. >> Jimmy: WELL, THAT'S -- THAT
DOESN'T SEEM TRUE AT ALL. YOU KNOW, NOT EVERYONE IS ON
BOARD WITH WEARING MASKS. MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE, AKA
"KLAN MOM," HAD THE FIRST IN A SERIES OF WHAT THEY'RE CALLING
AMERICA FIRST RALLIES. HER FIRST STOP WAS THE VILLAGES,
WHICH IS A RETIREMENT COMMUNITY OUTSIDE OF ORLANDO WHERE MTG
GAVE SENIORS HER TWO CENTS ON CLIMATE CHANGE.
>> WE DON'T WANT TO PRAY TO THE CLIMATE GODS AND CONFESS OUR
SINS AND PASS THE GREEN NEW DEAL.
NO THANK YOU. ELECTRIC VEHICLES ARE COOL.
I LIKE 'EM, AND I THINK THAT'S AWESOME TECHNOLOGY, AND WE WANT
TO KEEP OUR EARTH CLEAN, AND WE WANT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EARTH IN
THE WHOLE WORLD. >> Jimmy: VERY WELL SAID.
IF ONLY WE COULD STOP THE DANGEROUS EMISSIONS COMING OUT
OF HER, TOO. WE'D BE SET.
BUT THE MAIN EVENT AT THIS GATHERING OF THE SIMPLE WAS AN
APPEARANCE BY THE SOON TO BE DISGRACED CONGRESSMAN MATT
GAETZ, WHO FOR REASONS UNKNOWN IS BACK.
♪ >> Jimmy: HELL YES!
GAETZ IS BACK! YOU KNOW, USUALLY WHEN
MATT GAETZ VISITS A RETIREMENT COMMUNITY, IT'S TO MEET HIS
GIRLFRIEND'S GRANDMA. BUT THIS TIME THE ONLY THING
SADDER THAN THAT ENTRANCE IS THE FACT THAT THIS IS HOW HE
CELEBRATED HIS 39TH BIRTHDAY. >> CNN IS JUST THE WORST.
I ALREADY KNOW. SO TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY.
>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY! >> AND I ALREADY KNOW HOW CNN'S
GOING TO REPORT IT. MATT GAETZ HAS WILD PARTIES
SURROUNDED BY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE VILLAGES.
SO JUST GET READY FOR IT! >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, EVERYONE
GETS TWO TAPIOCAS TONIGHT! DID YOU GUYS SEE ELON MUSK
HOSTING "SNL?" A LOT OF PEOPLE WATCHED.
IT WAS THEIR THIRD HIGHEST-RATED EPISODE OF THE YEAR.
THERE WAS SO MUCH FOCUS, IN FACT, THAT NEWSMAX BROUGHT AN
"EXPERT" ON TO REVIEW IT. UNFORTUNATELY FOR THEM, WHAT I
GUESS THEY DIDN'T ACCOUNT FOR IS THAT THE GUY THEY PICKED TO DO
THE REVIEW IS A COMEDY WRITER WHO WORKED FOR PRESIDENT OBAMA.
>> WHAT HAPPENED ON "SNL" THIS WEEKEND IS THAT PEOPLE MADE
STUFF UP AND THEN SAID IT ON TELEVISION LIKE IT'S TRUE.
AND THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS PRETTY FREQUENTLY IN AMERICAN TV.
FOR EXAMPLE, IN 2020, DOMINION VOTING SYSTEMS SUED NEWSMAX OVER
ITS FALSE CLAIMS ABOUT ELECTION FRAUD.
NEWSMAX WAS LYING TO ITS OWN VIEWERS, AND NEWSMAX HAD TO
SETTLE THAT LAWSUIT. ACTUALLY, I JUST NEED TO CHECK
IN. ARE YOU STILL TELLING THAT LIE
OR ARE YOU TELLING NEW LIES? >> Jimmy: AND THEN TANCHOR, A
GUY NAMED ROB FINNERTY, HAD TO TAP DANCE TO MAKE SURE HIS
OVERLORDS AT NEWSMAX MDIDN'T GET HIT WITH ANOTHER LAWSUIT FROM
DOMINION. >> THAT'S FINE, DAVID.
I KNOW. THIS IS A VERY FUNNY MOMENT FOR
YOU. I KNOW YOU DIDN'T SLEEP LAST
NIGHT AS YOU TRIED TO SORT OF GET THE ANCHOR ON MORNING
NEWSMAX. I'D BE HAPPY TO TALK WITH
WHATEVER YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT.
OBVIOUSLY IT'S NOT THE TOPIC RIGHT NOW.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," I'LL DO
THAT WITH YOU. BUT OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT GOING TO
TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.
SO YOU DECIDE RIGHT NOW IN THIS MOMENT OF TELEVISION.
GO AHEAD. >> DID DOMINION VOTING SYSTEMS
HAVE ANY IMPACT ON THE 2020 ELECTION?
>> THAT IS REALLY UNFORTUNATE, BECAUSE I WAS REALLY EXCITED
ABOUT THIS INTERVIEW. >> Jimmy: YEAH, WE ALL WERE.
WE WERE ALL EXCITED ABOUT THAT INTERVIEW.
ELON MUSK WAS A WEIRD CHOICE FOR HOST, AND HE DIDN'T GET GREAT
REVIEWS FOR CHOICE. REVIEWS DON'T MEAN MUCH.
COMEDY IS A MATTER OF OPINION. I'M CURIOUS HOW HE THINKS HE
DID. SO WE ASKED HIM TO JOIN US AND
HE VERY GRACIOUSLY SAID YES. I'D LIKE YOU TO SAY HELLO TO
ELON MUSK RIGHT NOW. HELLO, ELON.
>> HELLO, JIMMY KIMMEL. >> Jimmy: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT
NOW? >> THIS IS MY NEW IN THE DAYTIME
TV SHOW ELON. WOULD SOMEBODY BRING ME A SMALL
BOWL OF THOSE THINGS WHIMSICAL SO I CAN PRESENT HIM.
>> Jimmy: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE ON THE SET OF "ELLEN."
>> IT'S CALL ELON NOW. I BOUGHT IT.
>> Jimmy: YOU BOUGHT ELLEN'S SHOW FROM HER?
>> YES, I PAID HER 2 BILLION DUTCH COIN.
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW. HOW MUCH IS THAT WORTH?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW $1 BILLION DUTCH COIN?
IT'S TWICE THAT. IDIOT.
LOOK, NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO DO A DANCE!
>> Jimmy: OH, OKAY. >> MARS, MARS, MARS!
SPACE SPACE SPACE! MARS MARS MARS!
SACE SPACE SPACE! >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> WASN'T THAT LIKE TOTALLY RELATABLE NORMAL GUY PERFORMANCE
I ENGAGED IN WITH MY FLESH BODY, JIMMY?
>> Jimmy: YES, I MEAN NO. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
>> WELL, YOU SEE, JIMMY KIMMEL, I WAS SUCH A HIT THIS WEEKEND
WHEN I WAS HOSTING "SNELL" THAT I THOUGHT, WHAT OTHER THINGS AM
I GREAT AT AND TOTALLY-QUALIFIED FOR?
AND IT OCCURRED TO ME, HOSTING AN EVERYDAY TELEVISION SHOW
PROGRAM IS LIKE FOR ME. >> Jimmy: OKAY.
ALL RIGHT. >> SOMEONE BRING ME LIKE A BIRD
OR A MONKEY OR SOMETHING THAT DOES SOMETHING REMARKABLE.
PERHAPS I SHOULD'VE SPARED A FEW OF ELLEN'S STAFF MEMBERS FROM
THEIR TERRIBLE FATE. >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEIR
TERRIBLE FATE? WHAT DID YOU DO TO ELLEN'S
STAFF? >> THEY WERE NO MATCH FOR MY NEW
BONE VAPORIZER! >> Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT?
>> OH, I MADE IT IN COLLABORATION WITH MY GOOD
FRIENDS AT SHUTTERFLY. >> Jimmy: IT'S A -- WAIT A
MINUTE, YOU VAPORIZED ELLEN'S STAFF,'S BONES IN COLLABORATION
WITH SHUTTERFLY? >> I DID.
IS THAT A NO-NO? >> Jimmy: IT'S KIND OF A NO-NO,
YEAH. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THOSE?
ANYWAY, THESE ARE AVAILABLE IN LIMITED QUANTITIES AT THE BORING
COMPANY BONE VAPORIZER DOT SEX. >> Jimmy: WHY WOULD YOU MAKE
SOMETHING THIS DANGEROUS AVAILABLE TO THE PUBLIC, ELON?
>> BECAUSE I'M LIKE EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE SOCIOPATH.
SOMEONE BRING ME THE DANCE SQUAD FROM AN UNDER-PRIVILEGED HIGH
SCHOOL SO I CAN STEAL THEIR SPIRIT AND GO VIRAL!
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN
THE ELLEN SHOW. >> GUESS WHAT?
>> Jimmy: WHAT? >> I'M ALSO YOUR HOST NOW TOO.
>> Jimmy: WHAT? >> YEAH.
GUILLERMO! COME TO ME.
>> Jimmy: WAIT, NO, NO, NO. YOU CAN'T TAKE GUILLERMO.
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE GUILLERMO.
>> OH, JIMMY KIMMEL, DO YOU LOVE TO ENJOY HAVING YOUR OWN SOLID
BONES? >> Jimmy: I DO, YES.
>> HA HA HA, OOPS. ANOTHER NO-NO, I GUESS.
FELLOW FLESH BODIES, WE HAVE GREAT SHOW.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH HU-MAN MCGREGOR, AND LATER ON, I POP
OUT OF DOORWAYS TO FRIGHTEN THE CAST OF "BLACK-ISH."
OR SOMETHING. GUILLERMO!
NOW WE DANCE! SPACE SPACE SPACE!
MARS MARS MARS! WOW.
YEAH. THAT'S LIKE, YEAH.
MARS, MARS, MARS, MARS. ♪
>> Jimmy: HI, WELCOME BACK. TONIGHT HIS NEW BOOK IS CALLED
BULK. THE VERY FUNNY GEORGE WALLACE IS
HERE. THIS LATER, A PAIR OF VERY
TALENTED SINGERS TEAMING UP FOR THIS EP.
IT'S AN EP OF DUETS CALLED "TABLE FOR TWO."
MUSIC FROM LUCKY DAYE WITH YEBBA.
THIS WEEK- WE'VE GOT A GREAT LINEUP, NEW SHOWS WITH
CHRIS ROCK, HEIDI KLUM, MIKE EPPS, WANDA SYKES, AND
MUSIC FROM MADNESS, MORRAY, AND MOD SUN WITH AVRIL LAVIGNE.
SO PLEASE JOIN US FOR THAT. OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN
A VERY TALENTED ACTOR WITH A NEW OBIWAN KE SHOWBI COMING TO
DISNEY PLUS, BUT FIRST HE PLAYS A FAMOUS FASHION ICON IN A NEW
LIMITED SERIES ON NETFLIX, "HALSTON" PREMIERES FRIDAY.
PLEASE WELCOME EWAN MCGREGOR. HEY, EWAN, HOW YOU?
>> GOOD. HOW YOU?
>> Jimmy: I'M DOING WELL. THANK YOU.
THANKS FOR BEING WITH US. >> MY PLEASURE.
>> Jimmy: I SEE YOU HAVE A LOT OF "STAR WARS" STUFF BEHIND YOU
THERE IN THAT ROOM YOU'RE IN, HUH?
>> YEAH. I'M ON SET.
I'M SORT OF IN THE STUDIO WHERE WE'RE SHOOTING THE "STAR WARS"
SERIES. >> Jimmy: OH, GREAT.
PICK UP THE COMPUTER AND CARRY IT AROUND AND SHOW US
EVERYTHING. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DID
THAT? WOULD YOU -- NO, YOU CAN'T BE
FIRED. THERE IS NO WAY THEY CAN FIRE
ME. >> I DON'T THINK THEY WOULD FIRE
ME, NO. BUT THEY WOULDN'T BE AT ALL
HAPPY WITH ME. NOR WOULD ANYBODY ELSE.
IT WOULD BE A SHAME TO SPOIL. THINK ABOUT ALL THESE REVEALS.
IT JUST SPOILS IT FOR THE FANS. >> Jimmy: AND YET, I CAN'T
RESIST ASKING FOR IT AND WANTING IT.
>> YEAH, WELL, I WON'T GIVE IT TO YOU.
>> Jimmy: HOLD UP SCRIPT FOR JUST ONE SECOND.
HOLD UP. LET US SEE SOMETHING THERE.
IS YOUR DRESSING ROOM BIGGER THAN DARTH VADER'S?
>> I HAVEN'T BEEN IN ANYBODY'S DRESSING ROOM.
>> Jimmy: INTERESTING. >> VERY METHOD IN THAT RESPECT.
BUT HE ALSO MIGHT NOT BE IN THE SHOW, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
IT MIGHT BE THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE A DRESSING ROOM.
>> Jimmy: WAIT A MINUTE. WE'VE BEEN TOLD HE IS IN THE
SHOW. THAT WAS ALREADY ANNOUNCED.
DID THEY NOT TELL YOU WHAT WAS ANNOUNCED?
>> I DON'T KNOW. I JUST GET PAGES.
I JUST GET WORDS TO SAY. I DON'T EVEN GET TO SEE.
>> Jimmy: UH-HUH. >> RANDOM WORDS.
I THINK THEY PUT THEM ALL TOGETHER AND EDIT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING. >> Jimmy: DID YOU GUYS CELEBRATE
MAY THE 4th LAST WEEK ON SET? >> YES.
I GOT A VERY SPECIAL -- I GOT TO PLAY A VERY SPECIAL SCENE ON MAY
4th. >> Jimmy: OH.
>> WITH SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL IN MY LIFE.
AND THAT'S ALL I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT IT.
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW. >> BUT IT WAS GREAT.
NICE. >> Jimmy: IS THIS SOMEONE
SPECIAL WE'VE SEEN YOU ON CAMERA WITH BEFORE?
>> NO. >> Jimmy: NEVER?
OOH, INTERESTING. IS THIS SPECIAL PERSON RELATED
TO YOU IN SOME WAY? >> NO, NOT NECESSARILY.
>> Jimmy: OH. WOW.
WHAT DID IT FEEL LIKE TO PUT THE OLD COSTUME BACK ON?
>> IT WAS GOOD. IT FEELS GREAT.
I HAVE TO SAY, I'M HAVING A REALLY GOOD TIME.
THE COSTUME IS PROBABLY SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT THAN YOU MIGHT EXPECT.
>> Jimmy: OH. >> BUT TO GO BACK INTO THE ROLE
SHALL WE SAY. >> Jimmy: UH-HUH.
>> IS GREAT. IT'S LIKE IT'S ALL STILL THERE.
IT FEELS GOOD. THERE IS SOME GREAT -- IT'S
GREAT SCRIPTS AND GREAT PEOPLE TO WORK WITH.
I'S GREAT. I'M HAVING A GOOD TIME.
I'VE GOT THIS NEW TECHNOLOGY. WE'VE GOT THIS -- BEFORE WE DID
THIS MONTHS OF BLUE SCREEN AND GREEN SCREEN ACTING.
AND NOW WE'VE GOT THIS EXTRAORDINARY TECHNOLOGY WHERE
WE WORK INSIDE A BIG SCREEN, YOU KNOW?
AND THE BACKGROUNDS ARE ON THERE.
AND SO IT FEELS MUCH MORE REALISTIC.
IT'S GOOD. >> Jimmy: AND ALSO, AS FAR AS
THE OUTFITS GO, THIS JUST HIT ME IS YEAH, TEN YEARS LATER, AS THE
SHOW PICKS UP TEN YEARS AFTER ""REVENGE OF THE SITH," WHATEVER
OBI-WAN WAS WEARING WOULD BE REALLY OUT OF STYLE BY THEN, TEN
YEARS LATER, RIGHT? >> YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
WHOLE NEW WAVE NOW. THEY'VE PROBABLY GONE BACK TO
THE PREQUELS. >> Jimmy: MAYBE SO.
ONE MORE "STAR WARS" THING. NOEL GAL BETTER OF THE BAND
OASIS CLAIMS, HE SAID THIS IN AN INTERVIEW, HE DID YOUR FIRST
LIGHT SABER TRAINING WITH YOU. IS THERE ANY TRUTH TO THAT?
>> WELL, WE HAD -- NOEL GALLAGHER'S 30th BIRTHDAY PARTY,
AND HE LIVED QUITE CLOSE TO ME IN LONDON, NORTH LONDON.
AND I WAS AT HIS PARTY. AND THEN THERE WAS A LIGHT SABER
FIGHT IN HIS GARDEN VERY EARLY THE NEXT DAY IN THE MORNING.
>> Jimmy: AH. >> BUT I DON'T REMEMBER TOO MUCH
INSTRUCTION. I DON'T REMEMBER LIKE ANY
LESSONS BEING GIVEN FROM KNOW NOLE.
IT'S MORE OF A BATTLE IN THE GARDEN.
>> Jimmy: AND WHO WON THE BATTLE?
>> I WOULD BE SURPRISED IF EITHER OF US COULD REMEMBER
THAT. >> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF BIRTHDAYS,
YOU HAD A BIG BIRTHDAY IN MARCH. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
YOU TURNED 50 YEARS OLD. >> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: AND ONE OF YOUR DAUGHTERS POSTED A VIDEO THAT I
THINK IS REALLY I FOUND SURPRISING.
I WILL TELL YOU WHY. ROLL THAT VIDEO.
HERE YOU ARE ON A UNICYCLE, WHICH I DIDN'T KNOW YOU KNEW HOW
TO RIDE. JUST KIND OF GOING AND OH, MY
GOSH, OBVIOUSLY IT DIDN'T GO AS YOU PLANNED.
BUT WE TAGGED THAT PART IN THE END.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN RIDING A UNICYCLE?
>> I'VE JUST BEEN OUTED BY MY DAUGHTER, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I DIDN'T KNOW SHE POSTED THAT. I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN OUTED AS
THE UNICYCLIST I AM. I MANAGED TO KEEP IT SECRET ALL
THESE YEARS. I DON'T KNOW.
I PICKED IT UP YEARS AGO, JUST AS A WHIM, ON A WHIM, YOU KNOW.
AND I FIND IT TO BE SOMETHING THAT -- I LIKE LEARNING NEW
THINGS IN MY OLDER AGE, IF YOU LIKE.
AND THAT WAS ONE OF THEM. AND IT'S LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, A
VERY DIFFICULT THING TO LEARN TO DO.
YOU CAN ONLY TO LEARN TO DO IT BY FALLING OVER AND GETTING BACK
UP AND FALLING OVER AND GETTING BACK UP.
I THINK THAT'S A LOT. THAT'S SORT OF METAPHOR IF YOU
LIKE FOR LIFE. SO I LIKE IT.
AND SUDDENLY YOU CAN DO IT. AND I'LL NEVER REALLY BELIEVE I
CAN DO IT, EVEN WHEN I'M RIDING ALONG ON ONE, I'M STILL A BIT
DOUBTFUL. I'M NOT REALLY DOING THIS.
BUT I CAN DO IT, AS YOU CAN SEE. >> Jimmy: IS IT LIKE RIDING A
BICYCLE IN THAT ONCE YOU CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT, RIDING A
UNICYCLE? >> PROBABLY NOT QUITE.
IT'S ALWAYS A BIT OF A CHALLENGE GETTING STARTED.
ONCE YOU GET GOING -- MAYBE IT IS.
I DON'T KNOW. I THINK YOU GET BETTER AT IT AS
YOU GO ALONG, FOR SURE, IF YOU KEEP PRACTICING.
>> Jimmy: IT'S LIKE A CHUM CHUMBA WUMBA SONG COME TO LIFE.
>> THE ONLY CHUM. BA WUMBA.
IS THERE ANOTHER ONE? >> Jimmy: THERE ARE NO OTHER
ONES. THEY JUST SAID YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE NAILED IT. WE'RE DONE.
WE GET DOWN, WE GET BACK UP AGAIN.
>> Jimmy: YOU MAKE THESE GREAT TRAVEL SHOWS WHERE YOU RIDE YOUR
MOTORCYCLES THROUGH LIKE FOR LIKE A THOUSAND DAYS OR
SOMETHING THROUGH ALL THESE TINY PLACES AND YOU MEET ALL THESE
INTERESTING PEOPLE. IS THAT LIKE THE BEST THING YOU
GET TO DO? >> THAT'S ONE OF THE GREAT
THINGS I'VE GOT TO DO IN MY LIFE, YEAH, IS THOSE BIG TRIPS.
I LOVE IT. I LOVE BEING OUT IN THE MIDDLE
OF NOWHERE. YOU JUST GET SUCH A GREAT SENSE
OF PEOPLE AND HOW HELPFUL AND NICE PEOPLE ARE ALL AROUND THE
WORLD, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE ON A BIKE.
I DON'T KNOW. YOU'RE SORT OF VULNERABLE TO THE
ELEMENTS. AND WHEN -- WE RODE ACROSS
KAZAKHSTAN AND MONGOLIA. AND THOSE NOMADIC COUNTRIES,
MONGOLIA IS STILL A NOMADIC COUNTRY.
PEOPLE WERE JUST KIND TO US. THEY TRAVEL AROUND ON HORSEBACK
AND WE WERE ON MOTORCYCLES. I ON'T KNOW.
THERE WAS A SORT OF KINSHIP THERE WAS NICE.
I LOVED IT. I DO LOVE IT.
>> Jimmy: AND DO PEOPLE GO HEY, IT'S YOU FROM "STAR WARS" OR THE
"TRAIN SPOTTING" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
>> NOT REALLY. A GUY IN RUSSIA SAW ME AND WENT
ACTOR, ACTOR? YEAH, YEAH.
WHAT DID HE USE? HE DIDN'T USE THE WORD PORNO,
BUT A VERY POLITE WAY OF SAYING PORNO.
I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS. [ LAUGHTER ]
ADULT MOVIES. I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT HE SAID.
CHA CHARMING THE WAY HE PHRASED IT.
HE MIGHT HAVE SEEN SOME OF MY EARLIER WORK.
I DON'T KNOW. >> Jimmy: EWAN McGREGOR IS WITH
US. HIS NEW SHOW IS CALLED
"HALSTON." WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪ >>> WE HAVE LOTS OF OPTIONS.
HOLD ON. >> NO.
>> OKAY. >> NO.
>> HALSTON, YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK AT THAT ONE.
>> YOU GOT TO PLAY BALL HERE, HALSTON.
>> NO. NO.
NO, NO, NO.
NO. >> HALSTON, CAN I HAVE A WORD?
>> NO. >> EWAN McGREGOR IN THE NEW
NETFLIX LIMITED SERIES "HALSTON."
YOU'RE PLAYING ROY HALSTON, THE FASHION DESIGNER.
I'M GOING TO BE HONEST. I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A ROY
HALSTON. I KNEW OF HALSTON, AND THAT'S
IT. THAT'S THE ONLY THING I KNEW.
>> IT'S AMAZING. I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM
EITHER. AND HE IS THE MOST INCREDIBLY
FAMOUS PERSON IN HIS DAY. HE WAS THE FIRST FASHION
DESIGNER TO PUT HIS NAME TO COLLECTIONS OF NOT ONLY CLOTHING
BUT LUGGAGE AND RUGS. HE WAS -- HE WAS A -- HE WAS A
LABEL LIKE IN A WAY THAT PEOPLE ARE TODAY, YOU KNOW.
BUT THEY WEREN'T THEN. >> Jimmy: YEAH, LIKE DONALD
TRUMP INKIND OF IN A WAY. >> HE WASN'T LIKE DONALD TRUMP
IN ANY WAY. >> Jimmy: IT SEEMS LIKE IT WOULD
BE A LOT OF FUN TO PLAY A CHARACTER LIKE THAT.
>> OH MY GOODNESS. HE WAS SO MUCH FUN TO PLAY.
I REALLY ENJOYED LEARNING ABOUT HIM AND SORT OF FELL IN LOVE
WITH HIM. HE WAS FUN TO PLAY.
HE WAS QUITE -- HE HAD EXTREMES. HE WAS COMPLICATED.
SO THOSE ARE ALWAYS THE CHARACTERS THAT ARE THE MOST FUN
TO PLAY AS AN ACTOR. BUT I REALLY FELL FOR HIM.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU KNOW MUCH ABOUT MAKING CLOTHING AND JUST
THE PROCESS OF FASHION BEFORE THIS?
>> NO. I BECAME OBSESSED BY CLOTHES
WHILE I WAS DOING IT. BEFORE WE STARTED SHOOTING, AS I
WAS SHOOTING, I WAS ALWAYS LOOKING TO SEE HOW CLOTHING WAS
MADE LIKE ON PEOPLE'S BODIES. HOW DOES THAT SEAM WORK?
AND I STARTED TRYING TO DO IT MYSELF.
I GOT A SEWING MACHINE AND A MANNEQUIN AND I WOULD DRAPE AT
HOME. >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> I MADE A PAIR OF PANTS. I WENT FOR A SORT OF JAPANESE
BAGGY SHORT PANTS, PANTALOON THAT I MADE.
>> FOR MYSELF. I WAS JUST STANDING WITH A PAIR
OF TROUSERS TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT.
AND I WAS LOOKING AT THE POCKETS.
AND A POCKET IS QUITE COMPLICATED.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE EVER LOOKED AT YOUR OWN POCKETS.
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH. >> TURN YOUR PANTS INSIDE OUT,
IT'S VERY COMPLICATED TO MAKE A POCKET.
SO I MADE ONE. I WENT I THINK THIS IS HOW IT'S
DONE AND TURNED THEM BACK AROUND, AND I HAT A POCKET.
THAT'S A [ BLEEP ] POCKET! I DIDN'T KNOW I COULD DO THAT.
SO I TURNED THEM BACK INSIDE OUT AGAIN, I MADE THE OTHER SIDE,
FLOPPED THEM BACK AROUND AND THE OTHER POCKET WAS ON THE OUTSIDE.
AND I HAD ONE INSIDE. BUT I THINK IT COULD BE MY
SIGNATURE. IT COULD BE MY SIGNATURE.
>> Jimmy: TOTALLY. YOU INVENTED SOMETHING.
YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THINGS EVERYONE ELSE.
>> THEY WERE SO EDGY, THE PANTS. AND I THINK THOSE ARE THE
WRONG -- THEY'RE VERY SCOTTISH PANTS.
>> Jimmy: I THINK YOU HAVE SOMETHING THERE.
EWAN McGREGOR'S ITCHY POCKET PANTS, YOU KNOW?
THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH US. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE WHOLE
THING. "HALSTON" PREMIERES ON A FRIDAY
ON NETFLIX. AND YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE.
YOU NO THAT EWAN McGREGOR, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH GEORGE WALLACE.
♪ ♪
>> Jimmy: MUSIC FROM LUCKY DAYE IS ON THE WAY.
OUR NEXT GUEST IS A LEGENDARY COMEDIAN WITH A NEW BOOK OF
TWEETS CALLED "BULLTWIT...AND WHATNOT."
PLEASE SAY TO "THE NEW MR. LAS VEGAS," GEORGE WALLACE.
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU?
HOW YOU DOING? GEORGE, THANKS FOR COMING.
>> THANKS FOR COMING. I AM SO HAPPY TO BE HERE.
THIS IS MY FIRST TIME DOING YOUR SHOW.
HOW LONG YOU BEEN IN BUSINESS? >> Jimmy: I'VE BEEN ON THE AIR
FOR 18 YEARS. >> YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF
YOURSELF! >> Jimmy: YOU'RE RIGHT, I
SHOULD. >> 18 YEARS AND I HAVEN'T BEEN
HERE? I'VE BEEN ON 99% OF THE SHOWS IN
AMERICA. I'VE BEEN ON EVERY SHOW BUT
YOURS, AND I'M HERE. AND I WAS BUMPED LAST WEEK BY
THE BILL PIL LAR GUY. >> Jimmy: RIGHT.
SORRY ABOUT THAT. THE MIAMI GUY.
BY THE WAY, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN INTERESTING.
FIST OF ALL, LET ME SAY I LOVE YOU.
YOU'RE ONE OF MY FAVORITES. SO I AM EMBARRASSED THAT I
HAVEN'T HAD YOU ON. >> THANK YOU.
I LOVE YOU TOO. WE HAVE THE SAME POINT OF VIEW.
EVERYTHING YOU TALK ABOUT, EVERYTHING YOU DO, THAT'S MY
POINT OF VIEW. SO THAT'S WHY I'M REALLY HAPPY
TO BE HERE. >> Jimmy: THAT IS VERY
FLATTERING TO ME. I'VE BEEN A BIG FAN OF YOURS FOR
A VERY LONG TIME. AND I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO
THAT TOO MUCH. BUT I DO WANT TO SAY A COUPLE OF
THINGS. FIRST OF ALL, YOU WERE BUMPED
FOR MYPILLOW GUY. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN
ON THE SHOW WITH TOM JONES WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN INTERESTING
BECAUSE YOU USED TO OPEN FOR TOM JONES IN LAS VEGAS, AND YOU
WOULD HAVE BEEN OPENING FOR TOM JONES HERE.
>> OH, NO, I WOULD HAVE COME ON FIRST.
BUT HE IS A GREAT GUY. AND I WAS HOPING FOR THAT TOM
JONES? I DON'T MIND BEING BUMPED BY HIM
BECAUSE ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS EVER.
AND THIS GUY TAUGHT ME A LOT ABOUT COMEDY.
AND MOST TIMES. >> Jimmy: WAIT, DID HE TEACH YOU
A LOT ABOUT COMEDY? >> WELL, MOST COMEDIANS HAVE TO
OPEN FOR SINGERS BACK THIS THE DAY.
THEY HAD TO DO 15, 20 MINUTES. >> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> BUT HE WOULD MAKE ME DO 45. AND THAT'S A LONG TIME.
AND THEY TOLD ME WITH TOM JONES, INTERNATIONAL SUPERSTAR THAT THE
FIRST FIVE HUNDRED LADIES SITTING DOWN FRONT EVERY NIGHT
WOULD NOT BE IN THE AUDIENCE BECAUSE THEY SEE HIM EVERY
NIGHT. >> Jimmy: OH.
>> SO I FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT. YOU KNOW, THOSE LADIES CAME TO
MY SHOW EVERY NIGHT AND SUPPORTED ME EVERY NIGHT.
AND WE DO TWO SHOWS A NIGHT IN CAE
CAESAR'S PALACE, AND THEY WOULD BE THERE.
THEY WOULD THROW THEIR UNDERWEAR UP ON STAGE AT ME.
AND I SAY EAT YOUR HEART OUT, TOM JONES!
I WOULD LOVE THAT. IT WOULD BE SO GOOD.
AND HE WOULD BE STANDING BACKSTAGE WAITING FOR ME TO
CLOSE. I GET A STANDING OVATION,
ANOTHER MINUTE AND A HALF. HE DON'T LIKE THAT.
STANDING BEHIND THE STAGE WITH HIS BRITISH ACCENT, GET YOUR
BLACK ASS OFF THE STAGE. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN WORKING WITH
HIM. FOR 5 1/2 YEARS, AND EVERY NIGHT
WE PARTIED WITH HIM. IT'S GREAT WHEN YOU MEET NICE
PEOPLE LIKE TOM JONES. >> Jimmy: I THINK IT'S REALLY
INTERESTING THAT YOU FELT A RESPONSIBILITY TO ENTERTAIN
THOSE FIVE INSANE WOMEN WHO CAME TO EVERY SINGLE TOM JONES SHOW.
THESE ARE PEOPLE THAT PROBABLY SHOULD BE INSTITUTIONALIZED,
YES? >> PROBABLY, BUT IT WAS HELPING
ME AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE I HAD TO DO NEW JOKES EVERY NIGHT.
>> Jimmy: GOT YOU. >> THAT'S WHY I TALK A LOT NOW
AND ENJOY WHAT I DO. HAVE I THE GREATEST JOB IN THE
WORLD, JIMMY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM
TO BE HERE. GOING THROUGH COVID, THIS IS THE
FIRST TIME I HAD A SUIT ON IN A YEAR.
>> Jimmy: YOU LOOK GOOD. YOU LOOK GOOD.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN FRONT OF A GROUP OF PEOPLE
DOING COMEDY? >> THIS IS IT.
THIS IS THE BIGGEST AUDIENCE I'VE WORKED IN A YEAR AND A
HALF. >> Jimmy: IS THAT TRUE?
[ APPLAUSE ] >> AND Y'ALL PAY BEFORE YOU
LEAVE. YOU MUST PAY TO SEE ME.
LISTEN, I'M GETTING ALL HOPPED UP NOW BECAUSE THIS IS REALLY
GOOD TO BE BACK IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE.
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN PEOPLE IN A LONG TIME, I'VE BEEN HOME IN MY
HOUSE. I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH THE
QUARANTINE. >> Jimmy: RIGHT, YEAH.
>> I WENT BACK TO ATLANTA. I WENT BACK TO THE HOUSE IN
ATLANTA AND I DIDN'T LET ANYBODY IN.
I DIDN'T GIVE DAMN WHO IT WAS. >> Jimmy: REALLY?
>> SARA LEE CAME IN THERE. AND BEN & JERRY.
I HAD THEM. >> Jimmy: THEY'RE WELCOME
ALWAYS. >> JOHNNIE WALKER.
I HAD A FEW PEOPLE. >> Jimmy: BUT NO FAMILY?
NOBODY ALOUD? >> NO, WE WERE SERIOUS ABOUT
THIS. MY FAMILY, EVEN MY DAUGHTER CAME
BY TO VISIT ME IN ATLANTA, AND I LIVE ON THE 25th FLOOR.
AND SHE CAME BY TO VISIT ME AND I WENT OUT ON THE BALCONY AND
WAVED AT HER FROM THE 25th FLOOR.
SOCIAL DISTANCE. KEEP YOUR AS MASS MOVING.
KEEP IT MOVING. I'VE BEEN A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY.
I'VE BEEN TOO CONCERNED ABOUT THIS COVID THING.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. >> I HAVE NO MASK ON NOW.
HAVE I MY MASK WITH ME. AND NOW THEY GOT YOU SNEEZING IN
YOUR ELBOW AND THEN YOU GUYS COME OUT AND BUMP ELBOWS.
WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT? >> Jimmy: YOU NOTICE ALL THAT
KIND OF STUFF. WHY DID YOU BRING YOUR BOOK,
BECAUSE I HAVE THE BOOK ALREADY. WERE YOU WORRIED I WOULDN'T HAVE
A BOOK IN PLACE? AND WHY IS YOURS HARD COVER AND
MINE'S SOFT? >> 18 YEARS OF NOT BEING HERE.
[ APPLAUSE ] WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I'M WAITING, I'M WAITING.
>> GO BACK TO THAT AGAIN. WHY IS MINE HARD AND YOURS SOFT?
THAT'S ANOTHER PROBLEM. YOU DON'T LOVE ME ENOUGH.
THE DIFFERENCE IN THIS BOOK AND
YOUR BOOK, THIS BOOK, THIS IS A HARD COVER, THIS IS $140.
>> Jimmy: THAT BOOK IS $140? >> YES.
AND MAYBE WHEN I COME BACK MY 14th TIME I'LL GIVE YOU THIS
BOOK. >> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> I DID IT AS A JOKE, JIMMY. I DID IT AS A JOKE BECAUSE 140
CHARACTERS, I WAS CHARGING A DOLLAR PER CHARACTER.
AND THEN THEY UPPED IT. SO ACTUALLY, THE BOOK IS HALF
OFF. >> Jimmy: THIS IS A WORK OF
BRILLIANCE. NOT ONLY ARE THE JOKES FUNNY,
BUT YOU HAVE TAKEN SOMETHING ANYONE WITH A COMPUTER CAN GET
ABSOLUTELY FREE, YOU'VE PRINTED IT.
>> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! HEY, HEY, HEY!
HEY! >> Jimmy: HAVE I MISSPOKEN?
DID I GET ANYTHING WRONG? >> I KNOW THAT AND YOU KNOW
THAT. THEY DON'T KNOW THAT.
>> Jimmy: OH, THEY DON'T KNOW. I'LL TELL YOU MY FAVORITE THING.
AND I WAS JUST READING THROUGH IT AGAIN AND LAUGHING TO MYSELF
IS WHEN YOU WATCHED E.T. FOR THE FIRST TIME AND LIVE TWEETED THE
WHOLE THING. YOUR REACTIONS TO E.T., SEEING
IT FOR THE FIRST TIME 30 YEARS LATER.
>> 30 YEARS LATER, I'VE BEEN WORKING ALL MY LIFE.
I'VE BEEN BUSY. SINCE 1883, I'VE BEEN COMING A
LONG TIME. I NEVER GOT A CHANCE TO WATCH
THE MOVIES BECAUSE LIKE I SAID, I WAS WORKING WITH TOM JONES AND
DIANA ROSS. ALL I EVER WANTED TO DO WAS BE A
COMEDIAN AND OPEN. THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING.
>> Jimmy: YOU'VE BEEN WORKING UPWARDS OF AN HOUR A DAY.
>> 25 YEARS. >> Jimmy: YEARS.
>> SO I JUST GOT TO WATCH THAT, "E.T.."
AND THERE WERE FUNNY THINGS ABOUT BECAUSE I WAS THINKING
ABOUT IT. WHEN WAS THAT MOVIE, '82, '83?
HAD IT HAPPENED TODAY, OOH, MY. CAN YOU IMAGINE E.T.?
THEY BUST A CAP IN HIS ASS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
LONG DISTANCE TELEPHONE CALLS AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
>> Jimmy: ELLIOTT IS HELL KNOW YOU CAN'T CALL SPACE ON OUR
PHONE, YOU BETTER MAKE A PHONE OUT OF MY OLD [ BLEEP ].
>> YOU PICKED THE ONE I WAS JUST DOING.
THAT'S PRETTY COOL. SO NOW WITH COVID, I'M CATCHING
UP ON ALL THAT. >> Jimmy: E.T. SAW YODA TRICK OR
TREATING AND THAT WAS ADORABLE. >> I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD USE
THE S WORD ON HERE. >> Jimmy: THEY'LL BLEEP IT OUT.
>> BUT BULLTWIT IS ALMOST SAYING.
>> Jimmy: ALMOST, YES. YOU GET VERY CLOSE.
>> BUT WHAT NOT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT WORD.
>> Jimmy: A VERY IMPORTANT WORD, YES, YES.
>> PEOPLE NEED TO GET THIS BOOK. GO ONLINE.
IT'S GEORGEWALLACE.NET. >> Jimmy: IT'S NOT SOLD ON
AMAZON. IT'S ONLY SOLD AT
GEORGEWALLACE.NET. >> BECAUSE AMAZON TAKES HALF
YOUR MONEY. I WANT ALL MY MONEY.
>> Jimmy: GO TO GEORGEWALLACE.IGEORGEWAL
GEORGEWALLACE.NET, GIVE HIM ALL YOUR MONEY.
>> LOTS TO TALK ABOUT. I WANT TO TALK THAN HOTEL YOU
PUT ME IN. THAT IS SO NICE.
YOU HAD ME A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE ALREADY IN THE ROOM.
>> TWO BOTTLES OF BOTTLED WATER. I DON'T KNOW HOW THE HELL THEY
DO THIS IN LOS ANGELES. BUT THE TWO BOTTLES OF WATER
COST MORE THAN THE BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE.
>> Jimmy: IT'S KIND OF THE SAME THING AS PUTTING YOUR TWEETS IN
A BOOK AND CHARGING $140 FOR IT! >> YOU KNOW I'M ONLY GOING TO
HIT YOU. >> Jimmy: SORRY.
>> I'M GOING TO -- >> Jimmy: THE GREAT GEORGE
WALLACE, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE BACK WITH LUCKY DAYE!
♪ >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL
LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES-BENZ.
THE BEST OR NOTHING. >> Jimmy: THIS IS HIS NEW EP OF
DUETS. IT'S CALLED "TABLE FOR TWO."
THE SONG IS CALLED "HOW MUCH CAN A HEART TAKE" WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM YEBBA, LUCKY DAYE! ♪
♪ YOU BEEN CHANNELING ENERGY SENDING IT TO ME RIGHT ON
THE LINE OOH YEAH YOU KNOW YOU'RE FINE ♪
♪ AND SOMEHOW YOU FIND THE TIME TO WINE AND DINE
YOUR BETTER THAN ME OOH ♪
♪ OOH THIS IS TRASH BUT I'M A GIVE IT RIGHT ON BACK CUZ
THAT'S WHAT I BEEN GETTING FROM YOU YEAH LATELY ♪
♪ YOU BEEN OUT ON THE BLOCK ACTIN' CRAZY DOIN YOUR THING
AND THEN YOU TURN AROUND AND BLAME IT ON THE MOON ♪
♪ JUST CAUSE YOU'RE FEELIN BLUE ♪
♪ HOW MUCH CAN A HEART TAKE WHEN FEELINGS CHANGE LIKE
PHASES OF THE MOON OOH YOU FOUND ME IN A HARD SPACE ♪
♪ SAY YOU DONE HERE NO PAIN NO PLEASURE
GIRL I TOOK IT ALL OOH YOU TAKE MY MONEY ♪
♪ AND I DON'T GET A THING BACK OOH NO PATIENCE
I'M RUNNING OUT HONEY ♪ ♪ OOH THIS IS TRASH BUT I'M
A GIVE IT RIGHT ON BACK CUZ THAT'S WHAT I BEEN GETTING
FROM YOU YEAH LATELY ♪ ♪ YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR
MIND TRADING LINES LOVING ME BLIND TALKING ABOUT WE
SHOULD TAKE TIME OFF ♪ ♪ JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE FEELING
BLUE ♪ ♪ HOW MUCH CAN A HEART TAKE
WHEN FEELINGS CHANGE LIKE PHASES OF THE MOON OOH YOU
FOUND ME IN A HARD SPACE ♪ ♪ I'M CHANNELING
NEW ENERGY DON'T WANNA HURT
YOU BELIEVE ♪ ♪ I DON'T WANNA
LEARN FROM THE HEAT STAY WITH
ME NATURALLY ♪ ♪ WHO WHO WHO ARE WE ANYWAY
WE CAN'T IGNORE IT BABE WHO WHO WHO DO YOU BETTER WAY
ARE WE JUST OVER IT HEY ♪ ♪ HOW MUCH CAN A HEART TAKE
WHEN FEELINGS CHANGE LIKE PHASES OF THE MOON OOH YOU
FOUND ME IN A HARD SPACE ♪ ♪
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ] >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL
LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES-BENZ.
THE BEST OR NOTHING. >> Jimmy: THANKS TO EWAN
McGREGOR, GEORGE WALLACE, JAMES ADOMIAN, LUCKY DAYE AND
YEBBA. APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.
TOMORROW NIGHT, HEIDI KLUM AND MIKE EPPS WITH MUSIC FROM
MADNESS. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. AND DON'T TELL THE OTHERS, BUT
YOU'RE MY FAVORITE. GOODNIGHT.
♪ ♪