1 00:00:00,054 --> 00:00:02,257 >> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE." 2 00:00:02,257 --> 00:00:06,427 TONIGHT, JUSTIN THEROUX. THE CEO OF MYPILLOW, MIKE 3 00:00:06,427 --> 00:00:07,295 LINDELL. AND MUSIC FROM TOM JONES. 4 00:00:07,295 --> 00:00:13,568 AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 5 00:00:13,568 --> 00:00:17,038 >> Jimmy: WELL, HI, EVERYONE. I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST OF THE 6 00:00:17,038 --> 00:00:17,739 SHOW. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. 7 00:00:17,739 --> 00:00:19,407 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 8 00:00:19,407 --> 00:00:23,044 HOW DO I GET MYSELF INTO THESE? WOW, IT'S ‐‐ THANK YOU. 9 00:00:23,044 --> 00:00:25,747 THIS SHOULD BE AN INTERESTING SHOW. 10 00:00:25,747 --> 00:00:27,482 ALL THE WAY FROM AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, THE MYPILLOW MAN, 11 00:00:27,482 --> 00:00:29,083 MIKE LINDELL, IS HERE. 12 00:00:29,083 --> 00:00:33,221 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 13 00:00:33,221 --> 00:00:34,455 SOMEHOW, A SIMPLE PILLOW SALESMAN FROM MINNESOTA GOT TO 14 00:00:34,455 --> 00:00:35,690 THE BOTTOM OF THE DEEPEST CONSPIRACY IN THE HISTORY OF 15 00:00:35,690 --> 00:00:42,530 AMERICAN POLITICS! IT'S SO CRAZY. IT'S ALMOST HARD TO BELIEVE! 16 00:00:42,530 --> 00:00:43,464 [ LAUGHTER ] 17 00:00:43,464 --> 00:00:44,966 THIS WAS A BIG DAY FOR FRIENDS OF DONALD TRUMP. 18 00:00:44,966 --> 00:00:47,201 THE FEDS RAIDED THE NEW YORK CITY APARTMENT AND 19 00:00:47,201 --> 00:00:53,908 OFFICE OF RUDY GIULIANI TODAY. THE FBI SHOWED UP WITH SEARCH 20 00:00:53,908 --> 00:00:55,977 WARRANTS AT 6:00 THIS MORNING. THEY MADE SURE TO SHOW UP IN 21 00:00:55,977 --> 00:00:57,445 DAYLIGHT, WHEN RUDY WAS STILL ASLEEP IN HIS COFFIN. 22 00:00:57,445 --> 00:01:00,748 [ LAUGHTER ] 23 00:01:00,748 --> 00:01:03,618 THEY TOOK THE FORMER MAYOR'S ELECTRONIC DEVICES, THEY WERE 24 00:01:03,618 --> 00:01:07,255 SEIZED. I THINK IT'S SAFE TO ASSUME NONE 25 00:01:07,255 --> 00:01:09,824 OF THOSE ELECTRONIC DEVICES WERE TOOTHBRUSHES. 26 00:01:09,824 --> 00:01:13,127 [ LAUGHTER ] 27 00:01:13,127 --> 00:01:15,964 RUDY'S LAWYER VERY UPSET. HE CALLED THE RAID "LEGAL 28 00:01:15,964 --> 00:01:18,232 THUGGERY." HE SAID, "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS 29 00:01:18,232 --> 00:01:19,434 TO ANYONE, LET ALONE SOMEONE WHO WAS THE ASSOCIATE ATTORNEY 30 00:01:19,434 --> 00:01:20,702 GENERAL, U. S. ATTORNEY, MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY, AND THE PERSONAL 31 00:01:20,702 --> 00:01:22,236 LAWYER TO THE 45th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?" 32 00:01:22,236 --> 00:01:24,238 WHO WOULD DARE TO SHOW UP UNANNOUNCED AND TAKE HIS BELOVED 33 00:01:24,238 --> 00:01:26,541 JITTERBUG PHONE? 34 00:01:26,541 --> 00:01:26,841 [ LAUGHTER ] 35 00:01:26,841 --> 00:01:29,010 IT'S JUST NOT AMERICAN. INVESTIGATORS ARE REPORTEDLY 36 00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:32,981 CONDUCTING A CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION INTO GIULIANI'S 37 00:01:32,981 --> 00:01:37,218 DEALINGS IN UKRAINE TO TRY TO DIG UP DIRT ON THE BIDENS ON 38 00:01:37,218 --> 00:01:39,220 BEHALF OF DONALD TRUMP. AND IF YOU THINK HE WAS SWEATING 39 00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:40,521 GRECIAN FORMULA BEFORE, YOU SHOULD SEE HIM NOW. 40 00:01:40,521 --> 00:01:42,090 [ LAUGHTER ] 41 00:01:42,090 --> 00:01:46,160 [ APPLAUSE ] 42 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:51,799 LOOKS LIKE A CHOCOLATE SUNDAE. LOOKS LIKE "RECOUNT DRACULA" 43 00:01:51,799 --> 00:01:55,470 MIGHT BE GETTING A TICKET TO CANCELVANIA. 44 00:01:55,470 --> 00:01:55,770 [ LAUGHTER ] 45 00:01:55,770 --> 00:02:00,074 PRESIDENT BIDEN TONIGHT GAVE HIS FIRST ADDRESS TO CONGRESS 46 00:02:00,074 --> 00:02:01,409 SINCE TAKING OFFICE. BIDEN SPEAKING BEFORE CONGRESS 47 00:02:01,409 --> 00:02:02,777 WHILE THE FEDS ARE BUSTING DOWN GIULIANI'S DOOR. 48 00:02:02,777 --> 00:02:04,879 THIS IS TURNING INTO THE BAPTISM SCENE IN "THE GODFATHER." 49 00:02:04,879 --> 00:02:08,149 [ LAUGHTER ] 50 00:02:08,149 --> 00:02:10,618 THE TONE OF THIS ADDRESS WAS SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT FROM 51 00:02:10,618 --> 00:02:15,023 A YEAR AGO. AND THE SERGEANT‐AT‐ARMS HAD FUN 52 00:02:15,023 --> 00:02:19,260 WITH IT. 53 00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:22,430 >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I AM RELIEVED TO ANNOUNCE, AFTER 54 00:02:22,430 --> 00:02:25,566 FOUR YEARS OF BAT [ BLEEP ] LUNACY, A CALM, REASONABLE 55 00:02:25,566 --> 00:02:31,472 PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES 56 00:02:31,472 --> 00:02:32,540 [ BLEEP ] HALLELUJAH! 57 00:02:32,540 --> 00:02:35,243 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 58 00:02:35,243 --> 00:02:38,713 >> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW IT GOT STARTED, WITH A BANG. 59 00:02:38,713 --> 00:02:41,249 PRESIDENT BIDEN TONIGHT LAID OUT THE SPECIFICS FOR HIS 60 00:02:41,249 --> 00:02:47,155 AMERICAN FAMILIES PLAN. TRUMP HAD A FAMILY PLAN TOO, BUT 61 00:02:47,155 --> 00:02:49,290 HIS WAS TO GIVE JOBS TO EVERYONE IN HIS FAMILY. 62 00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:50,825 [ LAUGHTER ] 63 00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:52,393 REPUBLICAN TIM SCOTT, THE ONLY BLACK REPUBLICAN IN THE SENATE, 64 00:02:52,393 --> 00:02:54,395 DELIVERED THE REBUTTAL. I GUESS THEY SAW HOW WELL BIDEN 65 00:02:54,395 --> 00:02:55,897 WAS DOING AND THEY WERE LIKE, "I'M NOT REBUTTING THAT. 66 00:02:55,897 --> 00:02:57,365 LET THE BLACK GUY DO IT." 67 00:02:57,365 --> 00:02:58,032 [ LAUGHTER ] 68 00:02:58,032 --> 00:02:59,767 THIS TELLS YOU ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE 69 00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:05,339 BETWEEN THE TWO PARTIES. TONIGHT, JOE BIDEN PROPOSED $109 70 00:03:05,339 --> 00:03:09,877 BILLION TO MAKE TWO‐YEAR COMMUNITY COLLEGE FREE FOR 71 00:03:09,877 --> 00:03:16,250 STUDENTS, $80 BILLION FREE FOR PELL GRANTS TO LOW‐INOME 72 00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:20,021 STUDENTS, $62 BILLION TO BOOST COMPLETION RATES AT COMMUNITY 73 00:03:20,021 --> 00:03:21,622 COLLEGES THAT SERVE DISADVANTAGED STUDENTS. 74 00:03:21,622 --> 00:03:22,990 AND $39 BILLION TO SUBSIDIZE EDUCATION AT HISTORICALLY BLACK 75 00:03:22,990 --> 00:03:24,025 OR MINORITY SCHOOLS. DONALD TRUMP, LAST YEAR, DID 76 00:03:24,025 --> 00:03:26,060 THIS. 77 00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:27,962 >> TONIGHT I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU. 78 00:03:27,962 --> 00:03:30,832 I CAN PROUDLY ANNOUNCE TONIGHT THAT AN OPPORTUNITY SCHOLARSHIP 79 00:03:30,832 --> 00:03:34,702 HAS BECOME AVAILABLE, IT'S GOING TO YOU, AND YOU WILL SOON BE 80 00:03:34,702 --> 00:03:39,107 HEADING TO THE SCHOOL OF YOUR CHOICE. 81 00:03:39,107 --> 00:03:44,011 >> Jimmy: HE GAVE OUT ONE SCHOLARSHIP ON TV, TO ONE LITTLE 82 00:03:44,011 --> 00:03:47,348 GIRL WHO, BY THE WAY, WAS ALREADY ENROLLED IN A GREAT 83 00:03:47,348 --> 00:03:49,250 SCHOOL. AND I DON'T THINK WENT TO THE 84 00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:50,118 SCHOOL. WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES. 85 00:03:50,118 --> 00:03:50,885 [ LAUGHTER ] 86 00:03:50,885 --> 00:03:51,185 WHAT A GUY. 87 00:03:51,185 --> 00:03:53,354 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 88 00:03:53,354 --> 00:03:56,491 YOU KNOW, A MAJORITY OF AMERICANS, 53%, APPROVE OF THE 89 00:03:56,491 --> 00:03:59,260 JOB BIDEN HAS DONE SO FAR. AND WHEN IT COMES TO HOW HE'S 90 00:03:59,260 --> 00:04:01,763 HANDLED COVID, HIS APPROVAL GOES UP TO 66%. 91 00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:03,030 THAT'S THE GREAT THING ABOUT FOLLOWING SOMEONE WHO WAS 92 00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:05,032 TERRIBLE. PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "HE'S NOT EVEN 93 00:04:05,032 --> 00:04:07,869 TELLING US TO DRINK CLOROX. PUT HIS FACE ON MONEY!" 94 00:04:07,869 --> 00:04:09,904 [ LAUGHTER ] 95 00:04:09,904 --> 00:04:12,640 BIDEN'S LOWEST NUMBERS ARE IN THE CATEGORY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS. 96 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,843 TRUMP HAD A LOT OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS. BIDEN HASN'T HAD ANY. 97 00:04:15,843 --> 00:04:19,046 [ LAUGHTER ] 98 00:04:19,046 --> 00:04:20,581 SO FAR. SO I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE AWARE 99 00:04:20,581 --> 00:04:22,750 OF THAT. BUT TODAY IS A SPECIAL DAY ON 100 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:25,086 TWITTER. DID YOU KNOW THIS, GUILLERMO? 101 00:04:25,086 --> 00:04:26,354 >> Guillermo: NO, JIMMY. 102 00:04:26,354 --> 00:04:29,991 >> Jimmy: TODAY IS THE DAY WE CELEBRATE "ED BALLS DAY." 103 00:04:29,991 --> 00:04:32,493 IT'S A NEW HOLIDAY THAT STARTED IN 2011. 104 00:04:32,493 --> 00:04:34,796 A MEMBER OF BRITISH PARLIAMENT ACCIDENTALLY TWEETED HIS NAME, 105 00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:35,062 ED BALLS. 106 00:04:35,062 --> 00:04:36,864 [ LAUGHTER ] 107 00:04:36,864 --> 00:04:40,268 AND A DAY OF CELEBRATION WAS BORN. 108 00:04:40,268 --> 00:04:40,568 [ LAUGHTER ] 109 00:04:40,568 --> 00:04:44,939 PUT THAT BACK UP ON THE SCREEN. YOU KNOW, WE PUT A LOT OF WORK 110 00:04:44,939 --> 00:04:46,741 INTO WRITING JOKES ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. 111 00:04:46,741 --> 00:04:47,909 AND THEN THIS GUY ACCIDENTALLY TWEETS HIS NAME, AND IT'S 112 00:04:47,909 --> 00:04:52,079 FUNNIER THAN ANYTHING. 113 00:04:52,079 --> 00:04:53,181 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 114 00:04:53,181 --> 00:04:54,949 CURSE YOU, ED BALLS! YOU KNOW, WE ARE VERY FOCUSED ON 115 00:04:54,949 --> 00:04:57,185 HOW CRAZY THINGS ARE AT THE TOP LEVELS OF GOVERNMENT, BUT 116 00:04:57,185 --> 00:05:00,688 THERE'S A LOT OF WEIRD STUFF GOING ON AT THE BOTTOM TOO. 117 00:05:00,688 --> 00:05:04,158 THIS CAME FROM NOT FAR FROM HERE, AT A MEETING OF THE ORANGE 118 00:05:04,158 --> 00:05:05,493 COUNTY BOARD OF SUPERVISORS WHERE, IN A QUESTION SESSION 119 00:05:05,493 --> 00:05:09,397 WITH THE DIRECTOR OF THE COUNTY HEALTH, AN ELECTED OFFICIAL 120 00:05:09,397 --> 00:05:14,035 NAMED DON WAGNER PROVED HIMSELF TO BE THE SECOND‐DUMBEST DON IN 121 00:05:14,035 --> 00:05:16,637 THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. 122 00:05:16,637 --> 00:05:18,339 >> IT'S ONLY AT THE PATIENT'S REQUEST. 123 00:05:18,339 --> 00:05:20,708 >> THAT'S CORRECT. INTENTION OF TRACKING FOLKS? 124 00:05:20,708 --> 00:05:26,113 >> NOPE. 125 00:05:26,113 --> 00:05:29,383 >> IS THERE ANY IN THE VACCINE ‐‐ WE HEARD ABOUT 126 00:05:29,383 --> 00:05:31,219 INJECTION OF A TRACKING DEVICE ‐‐ IS ‐‐ IS THAT BEING 127 00:05:31,219 --> 00:05:36,224 DONE ANYWHERE? IN ORANGE COUNTY? 128 00:05:36,224 --> 00:05:39,594 >> I'M SORRY, I JUST HAVE TO COMPOSE MYSELF. 129 00:05:39,594 --> 00:05:44,165 THERE'S NOT A VACCINE WITH A TRACKING DEVICE EMBEDDED IN IT 130 00:05:44,165 --> 00:05:49,403 THAT I KNOW OF EXISTS IN THE WORLD. PERIOD. 131 00:05:49,403 --> 00:05:52,840 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. IF THE VACCINES AREN'T TRACKING 132 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:58,012 US, THEN HOW DID INSTAGRAM KNOW I NEED A NEW DISHWASHER? 133 00:05:58,012 --> 00:06:02,450 IS THAT A COINCIDENCE, DOCTOR? WHAT A FUN NEW WORLD WE LIVE IN. 134 00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:06,554 I DON'T WANT TO WASTE A TON OF TIME TALKING. 135 00:06:06,554 --> 00:06:10,825 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT, WITH JUSTIN THEROUX, TOM JONES, 136 00:06:10,825 --> 00:06:14,295 AND AS WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT, ONE OF AMERICA'S MOST 137 00:06:14,295 --> 00:06:15,429 PROMINENT CONSPIRACY THEORISTS SLASH PILLOW SALESMEN, 138 00:06:15,429 --> 00:06:17,298 MIKE LINDELL. 139 00:06:17,298 --> 00:06:18,532 >> I MADE IT, I MADE IT, I MADE IT. 140 00:06:18,532 --> 00:06:21,936 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 141 00:06:21,936 --> 00:06:27,975 OH MY GOSH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, JIMMY, JIMMY KIMMEL! 142 00:06:27,975 --> 00:06:31,412 HOW ARE YOU, JIMMY? SON OF A GUN, HERE WE ARE IN 143 00:06:31,412 --> 00:06:31,712 HOLLYWOOD. 144 00:06:31,712 --> 00:06:34,715 >> Jimmy: I WASN'T INTRODUCING YOU YET. I WAS JUST SAYING ‐‐ 145 00:06:34,715 --> 00:06:36,017 >> I'M EXCITED TO BE HERE. 146 00:06:36,017 --> 00:06:37,285 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE ON LATER. 147 00:06:37,285 --> 00:06:42,356 >> IT'S BEEN A LONG JOURNEY, I TELL YOU, JIMMY. 148 00:06:42,356 --> 00:06:44,625 I STOWED AWAY IN THE LUGGAGE COMPARTMENT OF A GREYHOUND BUS 149 00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:45,960 ALL THE WAY FROM MANKATO, MINNESOTA ON ACCOUNT OF BEIN' 150 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,829 BANNED FROM EVERY AIRLINE THERE IS! 151 00:06:48,829 --> 00:06:49,530 [ LAUGHTER ] 152 00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:50,698 EVERY AIRLINE, THAT'S WHAT THEY DO TO PATRIOTS. 153 00:06:50,698 --> 00:06:56,070 >> Jimmy: WHY ARE YOU BANNED FROM EVERY AIRLINE? 154 00:06:56,070 --> 00:06:58,272 >> BECAUSE I REFUSE TO WEAR A MASK, I DON'T WANT TO TAKE OFF 155 00:06:58,272 --> 00:07:03,177 MY SHOES AT SECURITY! I DON'T WANT THE DEEP STATE 156 00:07:03,177 --> 00:07:07,548 TSA GETTING AHOLD OF MY TOE PRINTS! 157 00:07:07,548 --> 00:07:07,848 [ LAUGHTER ] 158 00:07:07,848 --> 00:07:09,817 >> Jimmy: THAT MAKES SENSE. WHAT DOES YOUR SHIRT SAY? 159 00:07:09,817 --> 00:07:11,152 >> IT'S A TANK, NOT A SHIRT. IT SAYS, "WHO FARTED?" 160 00:07:11,152 --> 00:07:14,188 [ LAUGHTER ] 161 00:07:14,188 --> 00:07:17,425 YOU SEE IT? WHO FARTED, YOU GET IT? 162 00:07:17,425 --> 00:07:18,893 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, I TOTALLY GET IT. 163 00:07:18,893 --> 00:07:21,162 >> AND TO TOP THAT OFF, THEY JUST THREW ME OUT OF THE 164 00:07:21,162 --> 00:07:24,031 WETZEL'S PRETZELS ACROSS THE STREET. 165 00:07:24,031 --> 00:07:29,370 THEY SAID MY MONEY WAS NO GOOD, JIMMY KIMBLE, BECAUSE I WAS 166 00:07:29,370 --> 00:07:32,373 PAYING ‐‐ JUST BECAUSE I WAS PAYING WITH PIGEON FEATHERS AND 167 00:07:32,373 --> 00:07:32,707 POSSUM TEETH. 168 00:07:32,707 --> 00:07:33,641 [ LAUGHTER ] 169 00:07:33,641 --> 00:07:34,875 >> Jimmy: PIGEON FEATHERS AND POSSUM TEETH? 170 00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:36,644 >> YES. THE NATIVE AMERICANS CALLED IT 171 00:07:36,644 --> 00:07:38,713 "WAMPUM," JIMMY! I'M BEIN' CANCELLED FOR THE 172 00:07:38,713 --> 00:07:42,950 COLOR OF MY SKIN! THAT'S WHAT THEY DO TO PATRIOTS 173 00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:45,019 IN THIS COUNTRY! 174 00:07:45,019 --> 00:07:47,688 >> Jimmy: YOU WERE ASKED TO LEAVE FOR THROWING TEETH, HUH? 175 00:07:47,688 --> 00:07:51,125 WHAT'S IN THE PILLOW ‐‐ 176 00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:53,327 >> IT'S JUST A ‐‐ I STOLE A WHOLE TRAY OFF THE GAL 177 00:07:53,327 --> 00:07:58,833 OUT FRONT! A WHOLE TRAY FROM WETZELS'S 178 00:07:58,833 --> 00:08:00,101 PRETZELS OUT THERE. ONE THING I LEARNED GROWING UP 179 00:08:00,101 --> 00:08:01,502 IN THE GREAT STATE OF MINNESOTA IS IF SOMETHIN' SAYS "FREE 180 00:08:01,502 --> 00:08:02,937 PRETZELS," THAT MEANS THE PRETZELS ARE FREE! 181 00:08:02,937 --> 00:08:05,439 [ LAUGHTER ] 182 00:08:05,439 --> 00:08:08,676 AND IF SOMETHIN' SAYS "I'M THE DARK LORD, DO MY BIDDING," YOU 183 00:08:08,676 --> 00:08:11,679 TRY AND DROWN IT IN THE TUB, EVEN IF YOUR WIFE IS YELLIN' 184 00:08:11,679 --> 00:08:14,648 "STOP, MIKE! THAT'S MY BROTHER KEN!" 185 00:08:14,648 --> 00:08:18,886 [ LAUGHTER ] 186 00:08:18,886 --> 00:08:21,489 >> Jimmy: OKAY, WELL. MIKE ‐‐ I DO HAVE A LOT OF 187 00:08:21,489 --> 00:08:23,591 QUESTIONS FOR YOU. WE'LL CLEAN THAT UP, DON'T WORRY 188 00:08:23,591 --> 00:08:27,628 ABOUT IT. YOU HAVE TO WAIT BACKSTAGE UNTIL 189 00:08:27,628 --> 00:08:28,195 IT'S TIME ‐‐ 190 00:08:28,195 --> 00:08:30,865 >> OH, I GET IT, FINE. CENSOR ME. 191 00:08:30,865 --> 00:08:32,099 >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO ‐‐ 192 00:08:32,099 --> 00:08:36,003 >> THE DEEP STATE STARTS HERE, JIMMY KIMBLE. 193 00:08:36,003 --> 00:08:37,438 >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO. 194 00:08:37,438 --> 00:08:41,175 >> JUST LIKE THE REST OF THE LAMESTREAM MEDIA. 195 00:08:41,175 --> 00:08:43,177 >> Jimmy: I'M NOT SAYING THAT ‐‐ 196 00:08:43,177 --> 00:08:47,081 >> THIS IS WHY I LAUNCHED FRANK. HOLY SNAKES AND LADDERS, IT'S A 197 00:08:47,081 --> 00:08:51,886 CARAVAN OF MEXICANS! 198 00:08:51,886 --> 00:08:52,186 [ LAUGHTER ] 199 00:08:52,186 --> 00:08:54,255 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 200 00:08:54,255 --> 00:08:55,256 >> HOW'D THEY GET HERE? 201 00:08:55,256 --> 00:08:57,691 >> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT A CARAVAN, THAT'S ONE GUY. 202 00:08:57,691 --> 00:08:59,894 >> LET ME TELL YOU, EVERY CARAVAN STARTS WITH ONE. 203 00:08:59,894 --> 00:09:03,297 JESUS SAID THAT. BUILD THE WALL! LOCK HER UP! 204 00:09:03,297 --> 00:09:05,733 LOCK THE WALL UP AND BUILD HER! 205 00:09:05,733 --> 00:09:08,636 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THAT'S MIKE ‐‐ 206 00:09:08,636 --> 00:09:10,404 >> WHERE THE HELL IS HUNTER BIDEN? 207 00:09:10,404 --> 00:09:12,440 >> Jimmy: WE DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS. 208 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:16,010 >> STOP THE STEAL! 209 00:09:16,010 --> 00:09:17,478 >> Jimmy: MIKE LINDELL WILL BE HERE ‐‐ 210 00:09:17,478 --> 00:09:18,312 >> WHERE'S THE BATHROOM? 211 00:09:18,312 --> 00:09:18,946 >> Jimmy: IT'S RIGHT THAT WAY. 212 00:09:18,946 --> 00:09:23,117 >> OKAY. AAH! 213 00:09:23,117 --> 00:09:24,885 >> Jimmy: MIKE LINDELL WILL BE HERE LATER. 214 00:09:24,885 --> 00:09:27,021 WE HAVE MUSIC FROM THE GREAT TOM JONES, AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK 215 00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:30,958 WITH JUSTIN THEROUX! 216 00:09:41,802 --> 00:09:44,038 >> Jimmy: HI, WELCOME BACK! THERE'S A LOT OF ELECTRICITY IN 217 00:09:44,038 --> 00:09:48,609 THE AIR. TONIGHT, THE MYPILLOW MAN 218 00:09:48,609 --> 00:09:51,612 HIMSELF, MIKE LINDELL, IS HERE. THE REAL ONE. 219 00:09:51,612 --> 00:09:54,248 STUFFED WITH THAT PATENTED FILL EVERYONE LOVES SO MUCH. 220 00:09:54,248 --> 00:09:55,983 THEN, LATER, A LEGENDARY PERFORMER, HIS NEW ALBUM IS 221 00:09:55,983 --> 00:09:57,218 CALLED "SURROUNDED BY TIME," MUSIC FROM THE GREAT TOM JONES. 222 00:09:57,218 --> 00:09:58,686 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 223 00:09:58,686 --> 00:10:03,924 TOMORROW NIGHT, MAYA RUDOLPH AND MALCOLM GLADWELL WILL JOIN US, 224 00:10:03,924 --> 00:10:06,160 WITH MUSIC FROM KINGS OF LEON. AND ON FRIDAY NIGHT, PLEASE JOIN 225 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:09,163 ME AND MY FRIEND AND YOUTUBE PHENOM MARK ROBER FOR A SPECIAL 226 00:10:09,163 --> 00:10:11,398 EVENT CALLED "COLOR THE SPECTRUM: A LIVESTREAM TO 227 00:10:11,398 --> 00:10:15,436 SUPPORT THE AUTISM COMMUNITY." IT'S A LIVE SHOW WE'RE HOSTING 228 00:10:15,436 --> 00:10:20,708 TO RAISE MONEY FOR NEXT FOR AUTISM. OUR GUESTS WILL INCLUDE 229 00:10:20,708 --> 00:10:25,813 ADAM SANDLER, CHRIS ROCK, JON STEWART, CONAN O'BRIEN, 230 00:10:25,813 --> 00:10:32,286 KENAN THOMPSON, STEPHEN COLBERT, JOHN OLIVER, JACK BLACK, ANDY 231 00:10:32,286 --> 00:10:38,559 SAMBERG, PAUL RUDD, ZACH GALIFIANAKIS, SARAH SILVERMAN, 232 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,061 MARK HAMILL, AND MANY, MANY MORE, LUMINARIES FROM THE 233 00:10:41,061 --> 00:10:44,198 YOUTUBE COMMUNITY. IT'S GOING TO BE A FUN NIGHT TO 234 00:10:44,198 --> 00:10:45,466 RAISE A LOT OF MONEY TO HELP THOSE WHO NEED IT. 235 00:10:45,466 --> 00:10:46,567 THAT'S STREAMING LIVE THIS FRIDAY NIGHT STARTING AT 236 00:10:46,567 --> 00:10:48,669 8:00 P. M. EASTERN, 5:00 PACIFIC ON MARK ROBER'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL. 237 00:10:48,669 --> 00:10:50,704 PLEASE JOIN US FOR THAT. OUR FIRST GUEST HAS IT ALL, HE'S 238 00:10:50,704 --> 00:10:53,474 SMART, FUNNY, HANDSOME, TALENTED. HE HAS A DOG, AND HE EVEN HAS A 239 00:10:53,474 --> 00:10:59,346 SILENT X IN HIS NAME. WHICH IS RARE. 240 00:10:59,346 --> 00:11:02,550 HIS NEW SEVEN‐EPISODE SERIES IS CALLED "THE MOSQUITO COAST." 241 00:11:02,550 --> 00:11:09,857 >> WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US? 242 00:11:09,857 --> 00:11:18,666 >> BECAUSE WE HAVE A PROBLEM. 243 00:11:18,666 --> 00:11:23,270 >> NOBODY WILL SAY WHAT KIND OF PROBLEM. 244 00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:29,143 >> YOU KNOW THE KIND OF PROBLEM THAT YOU THINK, OKAY, FIRST 245 00:11:29,143 --> 00:11:34,882 GLANCE THAT LOOKS PRETTY BAD. MAYBE IF I JUST SIT DOWN AND 246 00:11:34,882 --> 00:11:38,552 THINK ABOUT IT, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIGURE A WAY OUT OF IT. 247 00:11:38,552 --> 00:11:41,755 >> UH‐HUH. 248 00:11:41,755 --> 00:11:47,094 >> WE DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF PROBLEM. 249 00:11:47,094 --> 00:11:48,929 >> Jimmy: "THE MOSQUITO COAST" PREMIERES FRIDAY ON APPLE TV 250 00:11:48,929 --> 00:11:50,331 PLUS. PLEASE WELCOME JUSTIN THEROUX. 251 00:11:50,331 --> 00:11:52,733 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 252 00:11:52,733 --> 00:11:58,839 >> Jimmy: OH. WOW. JUSTIN? HEY. DID WE CATCH YOU ‐‐ 253 00:11:58,839 --> 00:12:02,610 >> WHY AM I HERE? WHAT AM I DOING HERE? 254 00:12:02,610 --> 00:12:03,344 >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW. 255 00:12:03,344 --> 00:12:05,579 >> YOU HAVE MIKE LINDELL ON THE SHOW, JIMMY. 256 00:12:05,579 --> 00:12:08,849 YOU'RE DOING THIS WRONG, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE MATT DAMON AT 257 00:12:08,849 --> 00:12:11,518 THE END WHERE YOU'RE, WE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR JUSTIN. 258 00:12:11,518 --> 00:12:12,186 >> Jimmy: NO, NO. 259 00:12:12,186 --> 00:12:14,755 >> YOU SHOULD BE WITH MIKE RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK. 260 00:12:14,755 --> 00:12:18,359 >> Jimmy: JUSTIN, PLEASE. DON'T EVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO 261 00:12:18,359 --> 00:12:19,226 MATT DAMON, DON'T DO THAT TO YOURSELF. 262 00:12:19,226 --> 00:12:20,961 [ LAUGHTER ] 263 00:12:20,961 --> 00:12:26,600 IT'S NOT RIGHT. ANYWAY. WELL, YOU LOOK ‐‐ ARE THOSE 264 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:27,401 MYPILLOWS YOU'RE LAYING ON? 265 00:12:27,401 --> 00:12:31,472 >> THESE ARE ALL MYPILLOWS, I BOUGHT A BUNCH JUST FOR THE 266 00:12:31,472 --> 00:12:33,874 NIGHT, I'M VERY EXCITED FOR THE NIGHT. I'M GEARING UP. 267 00:12:33,874 --> 00:12:37,278 WE STUFFED A WHOLE APARTMENT WITH MYPILLOWS. I'M EXCITED. 268 00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:41,815 YOU HAVE SPORTS AND I HAVE MIKE LINDELL, THIS IS KIND OF MY 269 00:12:41,815 --> 00:12:42,116 SUPER BOWL. 270 00:12:42,116 --> 00:12:42,416 [ LAUGHTER ] 271 00:12:42,416 --> 00:12:44,518 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 272 00:12:44,518 --> 00:12:48,255 >> Jimmy: WHY DO THEY APPEAR TO BE SOME RED FOAM RUBBER STICKING 273 00:12:48,255 --> 00:12:48,822 OUT OF THEM? 274 00:12:48,822 --> 00:12:50,491 >> MIKE SEES RED! 275 00:12:50,491 --> 00:12:50,791 [ LAUGHTER ] 276 00:12:50,791 --> 00:12:54,361 >> Jimmy: I SEE WHAT THAT IS, OKAY, ALL RIGHT. WOW. 277 00:12:54,361 --> 00:12:56,997 LET ME TELL YOU WHAT. I REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF IN THE 278 00:12:56,997 --> 00:13:02,770 RESTROOM WITH THIS COVER OF "ELSE CH 279 00:13:02,770 --> 00:13:05,773 "ESQUIRE" MAGAZINE. 280 00:13:05,773 --> 00:13:06,073 [ LAUGHTER ] 281 00:13:06,073 --> 00:13:06,573 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 282 00:13:06,573 --> 00:13:07,374 >> WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS? 283 00:13:07,374 --> 00:13:08,909 WE COULD BE TALKING ABOUT MIKE LINDELL. 284 00:13:08,909 --> 00:13:13,180 >> Jimmy: NO, WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT YOU AND YOUR DOG, 285 00:13:13,180 --> 00:13:13,380 CUMA. 286 00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:13,681 >> YEAH. 287 00:13:13,681 --> 00:13:15,582 >> Jimmy: YOU THINK CUMA KNOWS 288 00:13:15,582 --> 00:13:24,258 SHE'S ON THE COVER OF "ELSE 289 00:13:24,258 --> 00:13:24,925 CHO "ESQUIRE"? 290 00:13:24,925 --> 00:13:25,926 >> OF COURSE NOT, SHE'S A DOG. 291 00:13:25,926 --> 00:13:27,227 >> Jimmy: THE DOG SHOULD APPRECIATE THAT. 292 00:13:27,227 --> 00:13:31,165 >> I'M ON THE COVER OF "ESQUIRE" WITH HER, IN A WEIRD WAY. 293 00:13:31,165 --> 00:13:34,301 SHE'D APPRECIATE IT. I BOUGHT HER STACKS OF THEM. 294 00:13:34,301 --> 00:13:37,071 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU READ THIS ARTICLE YET? I ASSUME YOU HAVE. 295 00:13:37,071 --> 00:13:39,306 THE WRITER DESCRIBES YOU IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH AS HAVING AN 296 00:13:39,306 --> 00:13:40,074 UNFRIVOLOUS JAW. 297 00:13:40,074 --> 00:13:41,842 [ LAUGHTER ] 298 00:13:41,842 --> 00:13:46,213 >> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 299 00:13:46,213 --> 00:13:50,150 >> Jimmy: I'VE ALWAYS SAID, THERE'S NO FRIVOLITY ABOUT YOUR 300 00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:52,353 JAW WHATSOEVER. IT'S VERY SERIOUS. 301 00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:54,588 >> CAN WE GET BACK TO LINDELL? 302 00:13:54,588 --> 00:13:57,024 >> Jimmy: NO, DON'T SAY IT. BOY, YOU'RE NOT UNCOMFORTABLE 303 00:13:57,024 --> 00:13:58,559 WITH THIS, ARE YOU? OH, WOW. 304 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:01,829 >> I'M NOT, BUT I MEAN, YOU HAVE ‐‐ THIS IS WHY OPRAH GETS 305 00:14:01,829 --> 00:14:05,399 SUCH GOOD RATINGS, BECAUSE YOU KNOW, SHE'S PUTS THE ‐‐ SHE PUT 306 00:14:05,399 --> 00:14:08,102 THE BRITISH KIDS ON FIRST. SHE DIDN'T HAVE SOMEONE BEFORE 307 00:14:08,102 --> 00:14:08,702 MIKE LINDELL. 308 00:14:08,702 --> 00:14:10,471 >> Jimmy: I SEE, YOU'RE RIGHT. 309 00:14:10,471 --> 00:14:13,540 >> BEFORE THE BRITISH KIDS. LIKE OPRAH HAVING DON KNOTS 310 00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:14,608 BEFORE THE ROYAL FAMILY COMES ON. 311 00:14:14,608 --> 00:14:16,677 [ LAUGHTER ] 312 00:14:16,677 --> 00:14:17,177 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 313 00:14:17,177 --> 00:14:18,779 >> Jimmy: THIS IS MY HARRY AND MEGHAN MOMENT. 314 00:14:18,779 --> 00:14:22,149 >> THIS IS YOUR MOMENT, THIS IS WHY OPRAH KICKS YOUR ASS IN THE 315 00:14:22,149 --> 00:14:24,017 RATINGS, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET IT TOGETHER. 316 00:14:24,017 --> 00:14:24,418 [ LAUGHTER ] 317 00:14:24,418 --> 00:14:26,120 I SHOULD BE SECOND GUEST TONIGHT. 318 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,489 >> Jimmy: I HAVE A NUMBER OF THINGS I WANT TO TALK TO YOU 319 00:14:28,489 --> 00:14:30,557 ABOUT BEFORE I GET TO MIKE, THEY'RE IMPORTANT. 320 00:14:30,557 --> 00:14:32,326 FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE FANTASTIC IN THIS SHOW. 321 00:14:32,326 --> 00:14:34,194 YOU'VE BEEN GETTING GREAT REVIEWS FOR THIS. 322 00:14:34,194 --> 00:14:36,296 I'M SURE YOU'VE READ THEM, YES? 323 00:14:36,296 --> 00:14:41,835 >> NO. I HAVE NOT. I HAVE NOT READ THEM. 324 00:14:41,835 --> 00:14:44,905 BECAUSE THAT CUTS BOTH WAYS. IF THEY'RE A BAD REVIEW, THEN I 325 00:14:44,905 --> 00:14:45,739 DON'T WANT TO READ THEM. 326 00:14:45,739 --> 00:14:48,041 >> Jimmy: RIGHT, OKAY. I'LL SEND YOU THE GOOD ONES. 327 00:14:48,041 --> 00:14:50,310 THEY'RE ALL GOOD, YOU CAN JUST READ THEM, OKAY? 328 00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:51,712 >> THAT'S A NICE THING. 329 00:14:51,712 --> 00:14:55,783 >> Jimmy: THERE'S A REALLY ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW, I THINK A VERY COOL 330 00:14:55,783 --> 00:14:59,987 CONNECTION, BECAUSE YOUR UNCLE, PAUL, WROTE THE BOOK "THE 331 00:14:59,987 --> 00:15:04,625 MOSQUITO COAST." YOU ARE NOW STARRING AS PRODUCER 332 00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:07,361 ALONG WITH YOUR UNCLE. THAT'S KIND OF GREAT, ISN'T IT? 333 00:15:07,361 --> 00:15:11,965 THIS IS A BOOK HE WROTE IN 1981, NOW YOU'RE WORKING TOGETHER, 334 00:15:11,965 --> 00:15:14,034 PLAYING A CHARACTER HE CREATED. 335 00:15:14,034 --> 00:15:17,337 >> THAT'S THE TRUTH. WELL, IT CAME OUT, YOU KNOW ‐‐ 336 00:15:17,337 --> 00:15:19,306 HARRISON FORD DID THIS IN A MOVIE. 337 00:15:19,306 --> 00:15:19,740 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 338 00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:22,743 >> HE PLAYED THE CHARACTER. I WAS TOO YOUNG AT THE TIME, I 339 00:15:22,743 --> 00:15:25,979 WAS 10. NOW IT TIMED OUT. I CAN DO IT ‐‐ I MEAN, IT WAS 340 00:15:25,979 --> 00:15:28,916 REALLY BY ACCIDENT. IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ‐‐ 341 00:15:28,916 --> 00:15:29,550 >> Jimmy: REALLY? 342 00:15:29,550 --> 00:15:33,787 >> IT WASN'T NEPOTISM, IT WASN'T ME CALLING GOING, HEY, WE SHOULD 343 00:15:33,787 --> 00:15:36,390 DO "MOSQUITO COAST." THE TRAIN HAD LEFT THE STATION 344 00:15:36,390 --> 00:15:39,793 WITH APPLE PLUS. AND THEN I HEARD ABOUT THE 345 00:15:39,793 --> 00:15:44,598 SCRIPT, THEN I CALLED THEM, AND I SAID I WANTED TO DO IT, READ 346 00:15:44,598 --> 00:15:46,600 IT, AT LEAST. AND THEN I GOT EXCITED WHEN I 347 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:47,501 READ THE SCRIPT. 348 00:15:47,501 --> 00:15:50,003 >> Jimmy: IS YOUR FAMILY EXCITED THAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING THIS 349 00:15:50,003 --> 00:15:50,604 TOGETHER? 350 00:15:50,604 --> 00:15:53,340 >> YES. THEY ARE. YES, THEY ARE, THEY ARE EXCITED. 351 00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:57,277 I MEAN, IT'S A WEIRD THING. YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE ‐‐ THEY'RE 352 00:15:57,277 --> 00:15:58,779 THRILLED. THE CHARACTER IS LOOSELY BASED 353 00:15:58,779 --> 00:16:03,383 ON MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY AND OTHER PEOPLE, OBVIOUSLY. 354 00:16:03,383 --> 00:16:06,420 BUT IT WAS SORT OF BASED ON MY GRANDFATHER A LITTLE BIT. 355 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:07,788 >> Jimmy: WOW. THAT'S CRAZY. 356 00:16:07,788 --> 00:16:08,255 >> YEAH. 357 00:16:08,255 --> 00:16:10,924 >> Jimmy: TO BE PLAYING A CHARACTER BASED ON YOUR 358 00:16:10,924 --> 00:16:11,258 GRANDFATHER. 359 00:16:11,258 --> 00:16:11,525 >> YEAH. 360 00:16:11,525 --> 00:16:14,628 >> Jimmy: AND YOUR GRANDFATHER WAS A GUY WHO WAS LIKE ‐‐ WELL, 361 00:16:14,628 --> 00:16:18,165 FIRST OF ALL, VERY SMART. ALSO LIKE ‐‐ 362 00:16:18,165 --> 00:16:19,600 >> A GENIUS CHARACTER. 363 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:20,734 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 364 00:16:20,734 --> 00:16:24,171 >> HE WAS VERY THRIFTY. YOU KNOW, HE WOULD TAKE THE KIDS 365 00:16:24,171 --> 00:16:26,273 TO THE DUMP ALL THE TIME, THAT WAS A NORMAL SUNDAY OUTING. 366 00:16:26,273 --> 00:16:26,573 [ LAUGHTER ] 367 00:16:26,573 --> 00:16:30,277 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 368 00:16:30,277 --> 00:16:33,847 >> HIS PHILOSOPHY WAS, IF YOU CAN'T FIND IT AT THE DUMP, YOU 369 00:16:33,847 --> 00:16:37,684 DON'T NEED RIT ARE AND HE'S NOT WRONG. 370 00:16:37,684 --> 00:16:39,186 BOOKS, RECORDS, DOOR HINGES. 371 00:16:39,186 --> 00:16:44,157 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO MENTION A PRANK THAT YOU ‐‐ A VERY WEIRD 372 00:16:44,157 --> 00:16:45,959 PRANK. I HAVE TO SAY, I'VE BEEN THE 373 00:16:45,959 --> 00:16:49,363 VICTIM OF A LOT OF PRANKS. THIS IS PROBABLY THE WEIRDEST, 374 00:16:49,363 --> 00:16:51,598 THE MOST SUBTLE PRANK I'VE BEEN THE VICTIM OF. 375 00:16:51,598 --> 00:16:54,768 WHY DON'T YOU EXPLAIN THIS. THIS WILL GIVE A LITTLE INSIGHT 376 00:16:54,768 --> 00:16:56,670 INTO BOTH OF US, I THINK. 377 00:16:56,670 --> 00:17:04,478 >> YOU AND OUR FRIEND JOHN KRASINSKI LIKE TO DO BIG PRANKS, 378 00:17:04,478 --> 00:17:07,014 DROPPING SWIMMING POOL GOLF BALLS ON EACH OTHER, WHATEVER. 379 00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:07,447 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 380 00:17:07,447 --> 00:17:11,351 >> I GO FOR SUBTLE PRANKS. AND MOLLY ‐‐ AT ONE TIME I WAS 381 00:17:11,351 --> 00:17:15,956 AT YOUR HOUSE, YOU WERE PULLING TONGS OUT OF THE HOLDER WHERE 382 00:17:15,956 --> 00:17:21,228 THE WOODEN SPOONS ARE. THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY, MOLLY PUTS 383 00:17:21,228 --> 00:17:25,465 THESE IN THE WRONG WAY, I PULL THEM OUT, IT GOES EVERYWHERE. 384 00:17:25,465 --> 00:17:29,269 AT THE BEGINNING OF THE PANDEMIC, THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. 385 00:17:29,269 --> 00:17:30,437 >> Jimmy: LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT BOTHERS ME. OKAY? 386 00:17:30,437 --> 00:17:32,639 [ LAUGHTER ] 387 00:17:32,639 --> 00:17:35,542 I USE TONGS A LOT WHEN I'M COOKING. 388 00:17:35,542 --> 00:17:38,812 AND THEN SOME PEOPLE, AND I DON'T KNOW THAT IT'S ‐‐ I DON'T 389 00:17:38,812 --> 00:17:42,649 KNOW WHO'S DOING THIS IN MY HOUSE ‐‐ PUT THE TONGS IN LIKE 390 00:17:42,649 --> 00:17:43,483 THIS. THIS WAY. 391 00:17:43,483 --> 00:17:44,151 >> YEAH. 392 00:17:44,151 --> 00:17:48,522 >> Jimmy: AND I WANT THE TONGS IN LIKE THIS, ON THE SIDE. 393 00:17:48,522 --> 00:17:52,025 BECAUSE IT'S NICE, IT'S CLIPPED RIGHT TO THE SIDE. 394 00:17:52,025 --> 00:17:55,462 YOU ASKED MOLLY TO DO WHAT? 395 00:17:55,462 --> 00:17:59,032 >> AT THE BEGINNING OF THE LOCKDOWN PANDEMIC, THIS AS YEAR 396 00:17:59,032 --> 00:18:03,337 OR SO AGO, I CALLED HER, AND I SAID, MAKE SURE EVERY DAY, YOU 397 00:18:03,337 --> 00:18:03,971 PUT THE TONGS IN THE WRONG WAY. 398 00:18:03,971 --> 00:18:05,038 [ LAUGHTER ] 399 00:18:05,038 --> 00:18:06,907 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 400 00:18:06,907 --> 00:18:09,910 >> Jimmy: EVERY DAY I FIND THIS. 401 00:18:09,910 --> 00:18:11,178 >> YOU FIND THAT. 402 00:18:11,178 --> 00:18:14,548 >> Jimmy: AND IT DROVE ME CRAZY. 403 00:18:14,548 --> 00:18:18,251 >> AND THEN AFTER ABOUT ‐‐ I THINK IT WAS, I DON'T KNOW, NINE 404 00:18:18,251 --> 00:18:18,619 MONTHS? 405 00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:21,388 >> Jimmy: IT WAS FIVE FULL MONTHS THAT THIS WENT ON. 406 00:18:21,388 --> 00:18:21,688 [ LAUGHTER ] 407 00:18:21,688 --> 00:18:22,022 >> FIVE MONTHS. 408 00:18:22,022 --> 00:18:24,124 >> Jimmy: ALL THE TIME. 409 00:18:24,124 --> 00:18:26,593 >> SHE SENT ME A VIDEO. 410 00:18:26,593 --> 00:18:29,730 >> Jimmy: YOU SENT HER A VIDEO. SHE SENT YOU A VIDEO OF ME 411 00:18:29,730 --> 00:18:34,735 GOING, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? THEN YOU SENT HER ‐‐ YOU SENT ME 412 00:18:34,735 --> 00:18:38,138 THIS VIDEO, FINALLY, REVEALING. 413 00:18:38,138 --> 00:18:40,273 >> [ BLEEP ] SUCKER. 414 00:18:40,273 --> 00:18:41,241 [ BLEEP ], [ BLEEP ]. 415 00:18:41,241 --> 00:18:43,043 SO STUPID, JIMMY, IT WAS A PRANK ALL ALONG. 416 00:18:43,043 --> 00:18:43,343 [ LAUGHTER ] 417 00:18:43,343 --> 00:18:48,448 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 418 00:18:48,448 --> 00:18:51,685 >> Jimmy: YOU KISS YOUR DOG WITH THAT MOUTH? 419 00:18:51,685 --> 00:18:54,688 >> A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKE PRANKS THAT GO OUT WITH A HUGE BANG. 420 00:18:54,688 --> 00:18:58,458 I LIKE ONES THAT GO OUT WITH A LITTLE WHIMPER. 421 00:18:58,458 --> 00:18:58,759 [ LAUGHTER ] 422 00:18:58,759 --> 00:19:01,028 >> Jimmy: WHATEVER IT WAS, IT DROVE ME COMPLETELY INSANE. 423 00:19:01,028 --> 00:19:03,730 SO THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I APPRECIATE THAT. 424 00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:05,632 >> HAPPY PRANK TO YOU. 425 00:19:05,632 --> 00:19:07,234 >> Jimmy: JUSTIN THEROUX, EVERYBODY. 426 00:19:07,234 --> 00:19:07,901 >> WAIT. 427 00:19:07,901 --> 00:19:09,369 >> Jimmy: WHAT, WHAT? 428 00:19:09,369 --> 00:19:12,706 >> I MADE THIS FOR MIKE. I WANT TO PITCH MIKE THESE 429 00:19:12,706 --> 00:19:12,939 SHIRTS. 430 00:19:12,939 --> 00:19:15,575 >> Jimmy: OH, I LIKE IT. I LIKE IT A LOT. 431 00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:19,312 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 432 00:19:19,312 --> 00:19:22,616 I'LL MENTION IT TO HIM. 433 00:19:22,616 --> 00:19:23,917 >> PITCH IT. 434 00:19:23,917 --> 00:19:27,220 >> Jimmy: "MOSQUITO COAST" PREMIERES FRIDAY ON APPLE TV 435 00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:30,123 PLUS. JUSTIN THEROUX, EVERYBODY. THANKS, JUSTIN. 436 00:19:30,123 --> 00:19:33,326 BE BACK WITH MIKE LINDELL! 437 00:19:38,265 --> 00:19:38,799 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 438 00:19:38,799 --> 00:19:43,036 ♪ 439 00:19:43,036 --> 00:19:48,208 >> Jimmy: HELLO, THERE. MUSIC FROM TOM JONES IS COMING 440 00:19:48,208 --> 00:19:49,710 UP. IN OUR NATION'S LONG AND STORIED 441 00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:50,944 HISTORY, ONLY ONE PILLOW SALESMAN HAS EVER BEEN CALLED TO 442 00:19:50,944 --> 00:19:52,446 THE OVAL OFFICE BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT WAS UNHAPPY WITH HIS 443 00:19:52,446 --> 00:19:54,981 ELECTION RESULTS. OUR NEXT GUEST IS THAT PILLOW 444 00:19:54,981 --> 00:20:00,220 MAN, AND HE HAS A LOT TO SAY. 445 00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:04,958 >> ALL NINE OF THOSE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES ARE GOING TO VOTE 446 00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:08,428 9‐0 BECAUSE THEY ‐‐ HERE'S YOUR ‐‐ IS THAT A HAND OR A FOOT? 447 00:20:08,428 --> 00:20:12,299 THEY'RE GOING TO GO, IT'S A HAND. IT'S LIKE MAFIA DAYS BUT LIKE 448 00:20:12,299 --> 00:20:15,535 WHEN I USED TO BET FOOTBALL, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. 449 00:20:15,535 --> 00:20:17,838 HE COULDN'T RUN A PEANUT FACTORIES. 450 00:20:17,838 --> 00:20:20,207 NOT THAT PEANUTS ARE ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE. 451 00:20:20,207 --> 00:20:25,712 DID YOU SEE ANY NUDITY IN PORN? I'M GETTING DEATH THREATS AND 452 00:20:25,712 --> 00:20:28,448 EVERYTHING ELSE. THEY'RE TRYING TO TURN OUR POWER 453 00:20:28,448 --> 00:20:31,384 OFF, THEY'RE ATTACKING OUR POWER GRID HERE. 454 00:20:31,384 --> 00:20:34,054 >> Jimmy: THEY'RE ATTACKING HIS POWER GRID. 455 00:20:34,054 --> 00:20:34,988 PLEASE WELCOME MIKE LINDELL! 456 00:20:34,988 --> 00:20:44,364 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 457 00:20:44,364 --> 00:20:45,265 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR COMING. 458 00:20:45,265 --> 00:20:46,800 >> YEAH, THANKS FOR HAVING ME. 459 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,935 >> Jimmy: WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN A BED TOGETHER, I'M SORRY 460 00:20:48,935 --> 00:20:51,037 ABOUT THAT. THE COVID PEOPLE ‐‐ 461 00:20:51,037 --> 00:20:52,973 >> THEY'VE GOT RULES HERE IN CALIFORNIA. 462 00:20:52,973 --> 00:20:54,307 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU BEEN VACCINATED? 463 00:20:54,307 --> 00:20:55,342 >> NO, I'VE NOT BEEN VACCINATED. 464 00:20:55,342 --> 00:20:59,412 >> I MEANT FOR RABIES. 465 00:20:59,412 --> 00:20:59,746 [ LAUGHTER ] 466 00:20:59,746 --> 00:21:01,615 >> I DID BRING YOU A BOOK. 467 00:21:01,615 --> 00:21:02,649 >> Jimmy: I'VE READ YOUR BOOK. 468 00:21:02,649 --> 00:21:04,451 >> YOU READ IT? 469 00:21:04,451 --> 00:21:04,885 >> Jimmy: I DID. 470 00:21:04,885 --> 00:21:07,487 >> YOU KNOW THAT COVER, 14 DAYS WITH THE DRUG DEALERS. 471 00:21:07,487 --> 00:21:09,389 >> Jimmy: I READ IT ON MY iPAD. 472 00:21:09,389 --> 00:21:11,691 >> THEY DID AN INTERVENTION ON ME. 473 00:21:11,691 --> 00:21:12,058 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 474 00:21:12,058 --> 00:21:15,061 >> CAME UPSTAIRS, DOWNTOWN MINNEAPOLIS, CAME UPSTAIRS, AND 475 00:21:15,061 --> 00:21:18,165 THEY SAID ‐‐ THE ONE GUY SAYS, YOU'VE BEEN TELLING US FOR YEARS 476 00:21:18,165 --> 00:21:22,936 THIS PILLOW THING, THIS IS THE PLATFORM FOR GOD, WE WANT YOU TO 477 00:21:22,936 --> 00:21:27,174 COME BACK AND HELP US SOMEDAY. I'VE GOT THE LINDELL RECOVERY 478 00:21:27,174 --> 00:21:30,277 NETWORK, I'M HELPING MILLIONS OF ADDICTS. 479 00:21:30,277 --> 00:21:34,981 >> Jimmy: YOU SET AN EXAMPLE BY RECOUGHING FROM A HORRIBLE 480 00:21:34,981 --> 00:21:37,017 ADDICTION TO CRACK. I KNOW YOU MIGHT THINK THIS 481 00:21:37,017 --> 00:21:39,753 SOUNDS WEIRD. I READ HUNTER BIDEN'S BOOK AS 482 00:21:39,753 --> 00:21:41,621 WELL AND YOU GUYS HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. 483 00:21:41,621 --> 00:21:41,922 [ LAUGHTER ] 484 00:21:41,922 --> 00:21:42,422 YOU REALLY DO. 485 00:21:42,422 --> 00:21:47,060 >> THE SAME THINGS WHEN YOU'RE PARANOIDS, THE PARANOIDS GO WITH 486 00:21:47,060 --> 00:21:47,227 IT. 487 00:21:47,227 --> 00:21:49,729 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT, THE PARANOIA. 488 00:21:49,729 --> 00:21:52,432 YOU ARE HERE ‐‐ YOU'VE BEEN HIDING, BEEN IN HIDING, IS THAT 489 00:21:52,432 --> 00:21:52,666 CORRECT? 490 00:21:52,666 --> 00:21:56,236 >> YEAH, BUT NOT BECAUSE OF PARANOIA. 491 00:21:56,236 --> 00:21:57,170 >> Jimmy: HOW DO YOU KNOW? 492 00:21:57,170 --> 00:22:01,775 [ LAUGHTER ] 493 00:22:01,775 --> 00:22:05,378 YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HOME FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS, IS THIS TRUE? 494 00:22:05,378 --> 00:22:07,380 >> THAT'S RIGHT, I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD ON THIS ELECTION 495 00:22:07,380 --> 00:22:10,217 AND THE MACHINES. 496 00:22:10,217 --> 00:22:12,686 >> Jimmy: AND THE MACHINES. WE'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT THE 497 00:22:12,686 --> 00:22:14,421 MACHINES. YOU WERE WORRIED SOMEONE IS 498 00:22:14,421 --> 00:22:16,089 TRYING TO KILL YOU? 499 00:22:16,089 --> 00:22:19,526 >> I'VE HAD THREATS. MANY, MANY, MANY THREAT. 500 00:22:19,526 --> 00:22:20,160 >> YOU HAVE? 501 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:20,961 >> OH, YEAH. 502 00:22:20,961 --> 00:22:23,363 >> Jimmy: YOU STARTED OUT AS A BAR OWNER IN MINNESOTA, RIGHT? 503 00:22:23,363 --> 00:22:27,467 >> I STARTED OUT ‐‐ I WAS ALWAYS KIND OF AN ENTREPRENEUR. 504 00:22:27,467 --> 00:22:32,806 MY SISTER FLOODED A THIRD STORY BUILDING IN AN APARTMENT 505 00:22:32,806 --> 00:22:35,442 COMPLEX, I BECAME A CARPET CLEANER. 506 00:22:35,442 --> 00:22:39,012 >> Jimmy: YOU BECAME ADDICTED TO COCAINE AND CRACK, HAD A 507 00:22:39,012 --> 00:22:41,314 GAMBLING PROBLEM, SUPPORTED YOURSELF COUNTING CARDS. 508 00:22:41,314 --> 00:22:42,949 >> RIGHT. 509 00:22:42,949 --> 00:22:47,854 >> Jimmy: YOU SMOKE CRACK, COUNTED CARDS, THEY'D THROW YOU 510 00:22:47,854 --> 00:22:50,490 OUT. ARRESTED, SOLD YOUR BAR, STARTED 511 00:22:50,490 --> 00:22:55,762 MAKING PILLOWS. QUIT SMOKING CRACK, MADE 512 00:22:55,762 --> 00:22:57,564 MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, FELL IN LOVE WITH DONALD TRUMP, NOW HERE 513 00:22:57,564 --> 00:23:00,033 WE ARE, IS THAT CORRECT, BASICALLY? 514 00:23:00,033 --> 00:23:00,600 [ APPLAUSE ] 515 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,435 DID I MISS ANYTHING? 516 00:23:02,435 --> 00:23:06,006 >> YOU MISSED ONE THING. JANUARY 16, 2009, BY THE GRACE 517 00:23:06,006 --> 00:23:09,242 OF GOD, HE DID FREE ME OF ALL THE ADDICTIONS. 518 00:23:09,242 --> 00:23:09,943 >> Jimmy: YES. 519 00:23:09,943 --> 00:23:13,313 >> I WOKE UP, LOOKING AROUND, I WASN'T INTO POLITICS, I DIDN'T 520 00:23:13,313 --> 00:23:17,350 KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT A CONSERVATIVE WAS, A LIBERAL, I 521 00:23:17,350 --> 00:23:20,453 DIDN'T KNOW A FILIBUSTER, I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING. 522 00:23:20,453 --> 00:23:24,190 >> Jimmy: SOME WOULD SAY YOU STILL DON'T, TO BE HONEST. 523 00:23:24,190 --> 00:23:25,258 [ LAUGHTER ] 524 00:23:25,258 --> 00:23:33,233 >> I STILL SAY WARSH, NOT WASH. I SAID IF I RAN I'D PUT THE "R" 525 00:23:33,233 --> 00:23:37,370 BACK IN WASHINGTON. SUMMER OF '16 I WAS INVITED BY 526 00:23:37,370 --> 00:23:41,374 DONALD TRUMP, I HADN'T MET HIM BEFORE, AUGUST 16, 2016. 527 00:23:41,374 --> 00:23:44,945 HE BROUGHT ME IN, WE TALKED ABOUT, HE SAYS, MIKE, YOU DO 528 00:23:44,945 --> 00:23:47,314 YOUR MANUFACTURING IN, I WANT TO BRING MANUFACTURING BACK. 529 00:23:47,314 --> 00:23:49,482 WE TALKED. I SAID, I USED TO BE A CRACK 530 00:23:49,482 --> 00:23:51,885 ADDICT, I WANT TO HELP MILLIONS OF ADDICTS. 531 00:23:51,885 --> 00:23:54,721 >> Jimmy: YOU LIKED HIS MADE IN THE USA, THIS IDEA, THIS MADE IN 532 00:23:54,721 --> 00:23:56,890 THE USA POLICY THAT HE HAD? 533 00:23:56,890 --> 00:23:59,559 >> WELL, YEAH. IF YOU CAN MAKE IT HERE. 534 00:23:59,559 --> 00:24:00,727 A LOT OF THE THINGS YOU CAN'T. 535 00:24:00,727 --> 00:24:03,496 >> Jimmy: YES, HE DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING ‐‐ HE'S GOT HIS WEBSITE 536 00:24:03,496 --> 00:24:05,665 IS LIKE TWO‐THIRDS MADE ELSEWHERE. 537 00:24:05,665 --> 00:24:09,135 >> THERE'S A LOT OF THE THINGS YOU CAN'T MAKE HERE. 538 00:24:09,135 --> 00:24:13,273 MY SHEETS, THERE'S NO WEAVERS OR SPINNERS LEFT IN THE UNITED 539 00:24:13,273 --> 00:24:15,542 STATES. MY TOWELS, I HAVE TO SHIP IT 540 00:24:15,542 --> 00:24:17,043 OVER, THEY DON'T HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY HERE. 541 00:24:17,043 --> 00:24:21,314 >> Jimmy: LET'S BE TRUTHFUL. I HAVE A BUZZER HERE, FOR THE 542 00:24:21,314 --> 00:24:23,049 LAWYERS, IF CASE THERE'S ANYTHING WE HAVE TO CHALLENGE. 543 00:24:23,049 --> 00:24:23,350 >> RIGHT. 544 00:24:23,350 --> 00:24:26,786 >> Jimmy: A LOT OF PEOPLE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO COME ON THE SHOW. 545 00:24:26,786 --> 00:24:29,789 LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES. EVERYBODY SAID ‐‐ TOLD ME, DON'T 546 00:24:29,789 --> 00:24:32,292 HAVE YOU ON THE SHOW, THEY TOLD YOU, DON'T GO ON THE SHOW. 547 00:24:32,292 --> 00:24:33,126 >> YES, THEY DID. 548 00:24:33,126 --> 00:24:38,298 >> Jimmy: I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT THAT WE TALK TO EACH OTHER. 549 00:24:38,298 --> 00:24:39,265 >> ABSOLUTELY. 550 00:24:39,265 --> 00:24:39,766 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 551 00:24:39,766 --> 00:24:41,468 >> YES. YES. 552 00:24:41,468 --> 00:24:45,071 >> Jimmy: I ALSO ‐‐ YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE ‐‐ I DON'T THINK 553 00:24:45,071 --> 00:24:48,708 THERE'S ANY VALIDITY TO ANY OF THIS STUFF THAT YOU'RE SAYING. 554 00:24:48,708 --> 00:24:51,044 AND I'VE STUDIED YOU. I REALLY HAVE. 555 00:24:51,044 --> 00:24:53,980 >> I KNOW YOU HAVE, 22 HOURS YOU WATCHED, I HEARD. 556 00:24:53,980 --> 00:24:56,483 >> Jimmy: I WATCHED YOU LAST NIGHT AT 11:00. 557 00:24:56,483 --> 00:24:59,152 I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT I LAUGH AT A LOT 558 00:24:59,152 --> 00:25:01,688 OF THE STUFF, BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T LAUGH. 559 00:25:01,688 --> 00:25:01,988 >> RIGHT. 560 00:25:01,988 --> 00:25:05,091 >> Jimmy: A LOT OF THE THESE IDEAS YOU ESPOUSE, I THINK, YOU 561 00:25:05,091 --> 00:25:09,162 KNOW ‐‐ I THINK YOU COULD POTENTIALLY DRAW A LINE FROM 562 00:25:09,162 --> 00:25:12,432 THOSE TO THE RIOT WE HAD AT THE CAPITOL WHERE PEOPLE WERE KILLED 563 00:25:12,432 --> 00:25:14,167 AND A LOT OF BAD THINGS. 564 00:25:14,167 --> 00:25:17,270 >> HERE'S WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO THAT, I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING 565 00:25:17,270 --> 00:25:19,272 UNTIL JANUARY 9th AND THIS WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT. 566 00:25:19,272 --> 00:25:23,676 THIS WAS THE MACHINES, THIS WAS ATTACK THROUGH THE MACHINES, 567 00:25:23,676 --> 00:25:26,379 YOU'VE SEEN IT. WHAT I'M SAYING IS TO EVERYONE. 568 00:25:26,379 --> 00:25:28,014 THIS ISN'T A DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN THING. 569 00:25:28,014 --> 00:25:30,517 FOR ME IT'S PUTTING IT OUT THERE, IT'S LIKE THIS. 570 00:25:30,517 --> 00:25:37,023 I WANT TO ASK EVERYONE THIS. IF SOMEONE WAS SAYING MY PILLOWS 571 00:25:37,023 --> 00:25:41,895 HAD ROCKS AND KNIVES LIKE THIS, I'D SAY LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL 572 00:25:41,895 --> 00:25:44,631 PATENTED FILL. DOMINION DIDN'T DO THAT, THEY'RE 573 00:25:44,631 --> 00:25:46,533 SUING PEOPLE ‐‐ 574 00:25:46,533 --> 00:25:49,035 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE SAYING THEY HAVE ROCKS AND KNIFES IN THEIR 575 00:25:49,035 --> 00:25:51,337 VOTING MACHINES, THEY'RE SAYING, NO, WE DON'T. 576 00:25:51,337 --> 00:25:52,839 >> THEY DON'T SHOW THEIR MACHINES, THAT'S THE THING. 577 00:25:52,839 --> 00:25:55,075 THEY'RE TRYING TO STOP ‐‐ 578 00:25:55,075 --> 00:25:56,943 >> Jimmy: THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT HAS ‐‐ I MEAN, EVERY ‐‐ 579 00:25:56,943 --> 00:26:00,847 >> NO, THEY DIDN'T HAVE THIS EVIDENCE UNTIL JANUARY 9th. 580 00:26:00,847 --> 00:26:04,717 >> Jimmy: AND YET ‐‐ BUT THEY HAVE THIS EVIDENCE NOW, YOU SAY? 581 00:26:04,717 --> 00:26:05,819 >> NO. WE'RE BRINGING IT ALL TO THE 582 00:26:05,819 --> 00:26:07,520 SUPREME COURT. THIS WILL ALL GET THERE. 583 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,522 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE SAID REPEATEDLY THAT YOU'RE BRINGING 584 00:26:09,522 --> 00:26:12,092 THIS EVIDENCE. AND I ASSUME YOU HAVEN'T SEEN 585 00:26:12,092 --> 00:26:12,625 THIS EVIDENCE? 586 00:26:12,625 --> 00:26:14,828 >> I'VE SEEN IT OR I WOULDN'T ‐‐ 587 00:26:14,828 --> 00:26:17,931 >> Jimmy: WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG IF THIS IS SUCH A SERIOUS 588 00:26:17,931 --> 00:26:18,131 THING? 589 00:26:18,131 --> 00:26:21,768 >> WAY DON'T ‐‐ AS YOU'VE SEEN IN ABSOLUTE INTERFERENCE, THE 590 00:26:21,768 --> 00:26:27,040 NEW ONE, IT'S A CYBER ‐‐ A WHITE HAT HACKER THAT WORKS FOR THE 591 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:27,941 GOVERNMENT, ONE OF THE BEST IN THE WORLD. 592 00:26:27,941 --> 00:26:31,744 WHEN OUR COUNTRY'S ATTACKED THESE ARE THE GUYS THAT GO IN 593 00:26:31,744 --> 00:26:34,814 FOR THE CYBER ATTACKS AND CHECK IT OUT OUT AND VALIDATE IT. 594 00:26:34,814 --> 00:26:37,951 I HIRED THEM TO VALIDATE THE EVIDENCE THAT I HAVE THAT THESE 595 00:26:37,951 --> 00:26:44,190 GUYS BROUGHT ME OVER HERE. S. THE ONLY REASON I HAVE THE 596 00:26:44,190 --> 00:26:47,026 EVIDENCE IS I BECAME A VOICE AFTER JANUARY 9th, WE TRIED TO 597 00:26:47,026 --> 00:26:49,529 GET THIS OUT THERE, AND NOBODY HAD ‐‐ 598 00:26:49,529 --> 00:26:52,532 >> Jimmy: DO YOU EVER THINK IT'S WEIRD, OBJECTIVELY, LOOKING AT 599 00:26:52,532 --> 00:26:55,201 YOURSELF, GOING, WHY IS IT THAT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE COUNTRY 600 00:26:55,201 --> 00:26:59,339 WHO HAS THIS EVIDENCE IS A GUY WHO SELLS PILLOWS ON CABLE? 601 00:26:59,339 --> 00:26:59,639 [ LAUGHTER ] 602 00:26:59,639 --> 00:27:04,444 >> I BRING IT BACK TO WHEN I WAS O YOUR SHOW HERE, 2014, THE 603 00:27:04,444 --> 00:27:06,513 FORREST GUMP THING, I DON'T KNOW. 604 00:27:06,513 --> 00:27:09,215 >> Jimmy: YOU THINK I KNOW. I CAN SEE HOW THAT WOULD BE IN 605 00:27:09,215 --> 00:27:12,051 YOUR HEAD, HONESTLY. LET'S SHOW THAT PICTURE. 606 00:27:12,051 --> 00:27:15,922 WEIRDLY, IT'S A COINCIDENCE, YOU WERE HERE WITH BOB SEGER. 607 00:27:15,922 --> 00:27:18,324 >> YES. I TOOK A PICTURE, YOU KNOW, AND 608 00:27:18,324 --> 00:27:20,460 I'M GOING, MY FRIENDS THAT WENT ‐‐ 609 00:27:20,460 --> 00:27:24,397 >> Jimmy: YOU TOOK A PICTURE OF ME, THERE YOU GO. 610 00:27:24,397 --> 00:27:24,697 [ APPLAUSE ] 611 00:27:24,697 --> 00:27:28,868 >> MY FRIENDS ARE GOING WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON STAGE WITH JIMMY 612 00:27:28,868 --> 00:27:29,102 KIMMEL? 613 00:27:29,102 --> 00:27:31,738 >> Jimmy: THIS ACTUALLY I THINK PLAYS INTO WHAT WE'RE TALKING 614 00:27:31,738 --> 00:27:33,706 ABOUT. . YOU'RE WORTH MANY MILLIONS OF 615 00:27:33,706 --> 00:27:35,842 DOLLARS, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH MONEY YOU'RE WORTH. 616 00:27:35,842 --> 00:27:37,243 >> I GIVE IT ALL TO CHARITY. 617 00:27:37,243 --> 00:27:41,247 >> Jimmy: OKAY, WHATEVER YOU DO WITH IT, WHATEVER YOU DO WITH IT. 618 00:27:41,247 --> 00:27:45,351 I CAN SEE HOW YOU WOULD THINK, WELL THERE MUST BE SOME DIVINE 619 00:27:45,351 --> 00:27:46,052 INTERVENTION HERE. 620 00:27:46,052 --> 00:27:46,419 >> ABSOLUTELY. 621 00:27:46,419 --> 00:27:51,424 >> Jimmy: HOW DID A PERSON WHO WAS IN A MOTEL ROOM BUYING CRACK 622 00:27:51,424 --> 00:27:54,727 AND GAMBLING AND WAY FROM HIS FAMILY AND ALL THESE THINGS, HOW 623 00:27:54,727 --> 00:27:57,230 DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME? I MUST BE SPECIAL. 624 00:27:57,230 --> 00:28:01,601 BUT I'M GOING TO SUGGEST TO YOU THAT MAYBE IT'S A COINCIDENCE. 625 00:28:01,601 --> 00:28:06,105 AND THAT MAYBE THIS INFORMATION THAT YOU HAVE THAT YOU BELIEVE 626 00:28:06,105 --> 00:28:09,108 IN, LET'S BE HONEST, YOUR WEBSITE DOESN'T EVEN REALLY WORK 627 00:28:09,108 --> 00:28:12,612 SO WELL. WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT YOU 628 00:28:12,612 --> 00:28:16,015 HAVE BROKEN THIS CODE, OF ALL PEOPLE? 629 00:28:16,015 --> 00:28:20,253 >> IT WASN'T ME THAT BROKE IT, THEY BROUGHT IT TO ME ‐‐ 630 00:28:20,253 --> 00:28:21,487 >> Jimmy: BUT THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT ‐‐ 631 00:28:21,487 --> 00:28:24,357 >> THE ONLY REASON IS I HAVE THE VOICE ‐‐. 632 00:28:24,357 --> 00:28:29,028 >> Jimmy: I WORRY ABOUT YOU, I WORRY THAT YU ARE 633 00:28:29,028 --> 00:28:30,330 SELF‐DESTRUCTIVE, THAT YOU HAVE LOST EVERYTHING REPEATEDLY SO 634 00:28:30,330 --> 00:28:34,267 MANY TIMES IN YOUR LIFE. YOU'VE HAD A BAR, ALL OF THESE 635 00:28:34,267 --> 00:28:35,001 THINGS, YOU KNOW THE STORY. 636 00:28:35,001 --> 00:28:37,637 >> YEAH, I LIVED IT. 637 00:28:37,637 --> 00:28:40,306 >> Jimmy: MAYBE ‐‐ NOW I FEEL LIKE WE'RE GOING TO ‐‐ YOU'RE 638 00:28:40,306 --> 00:28:42,809 GOING TO BE OUT DRESSED AS SPIDER‐MAN ON HOLLYWOOD 639 00:28:42,809 --> 00:28:45,712 BOULEVARD AT THE END OF THIS WHOLE THING. 640 00:28:45,712 --> 00:28:46,012 [ LAUGHTER ] 641 00:28:46,012 --> 00:28:48,214 DOMINION IS SUING YOU FOR $1.3 BILLION ‐‐ 642 00:28:48,214 --> 00:28:54,087 >> YOU'VE GOT TO REALIZE MYPILLOW COUNTER SUED THEM, ALAN 643 00:28:54,087 --> 00:28:55,421 DERSHOWITZ, THAT WILL BE THE BIGGEST LAWSUIT, THE MOST 644 00:28:55,421 --> 00:28:56,923 IMPORTANT IN HISTORY ‐‐ 645 00:28:56,923 --> 00:28:59,092 >> Jimmy: RIGHT, WE'LL SEE HOW IT TURNS OUT. 646 00:28:59,092 --> 00:29:00,893 >> THE RIGHT FOR FREE SPEECH. 647 00:29:00,893 --> 00:29:03,930 >> Jimmy: FOR ONE OF YOU THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK OUT WELL, FOR 648 00:29:03,930 --> 00:29:04,797 THEM OR YOU ‐‐ 649 00:29:04,797 --> 00:29:06,899 >> THE LAWSUITS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, NO 650 00:29:06,899 --> 00:29:09,736 MATTER WHO YOU ARE IN THIS COUNTRY, I'M NOT JUST SOME 651 00:29:09,736 --> 00:29:14,040 PERSON THAT DECIDES, HEY, I WANT ‐‐ YOUR PRODUCER ASKED ME, 652 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,110 THEY WANT, MIKE WORK, YOU HAVE DONE IT IF IT WAS REVERSED? 653 00:29:17,110 --> 00:29:20,280 KNOWING WHAT I HAVE NOW, IF THEY WOULD HAVE PUT DONALD TRUMP BACK 654 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,516 IN DECEMBER 14th, KNOWING WHAT I HAVE NOW, I WOULD STILL BE 655 00:29:23,516 --> 00:29:27,287 SOUNDING THE ALARM GOING, THESE MACHINES, THEY WERE HACKED, WE 656 00:29:27,287 --> 00:29:30,056 HAVE TO DO SOMETHING IN OUR COUNTRY ‐‐ 657 00:29:30,056 --> 00:29:31,891 >> Jimmy: I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE SINCERE. 658 00:29:31,891 --> 00:29:34,861 I ALSO THINK THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON FROM THE CRACK OR 659 00:29:34,861 --> 00:29:37,797 SOMETHING, WHATEVER, THAT HAS MADE YOU THINK THAT ‐‐ I MEAN, 660 00:29:37,797 --> 00:29:39,299 YOU MENTIONED PARANOIA. 661 00:29:39,299 --> 00:29:43,303 >> WHAT MADE ME THINK IT, WHAT MADE ME DO THIS, JUST LIKE WHEN 662 00:29:43,303 --> 00:29:45,872 I MET DONALD TRUMP ON AUGUST 15th, 2016. 663 00:29:45,872 --> 00:29:49,242 I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT POLITICS BUT I MET THIS MAN THAT 664 00:29:49,242 --> 00:29:52,845 HAD PROBLEM, SOLUTION, AND HE KNEW WHAT THEY MANIFEST TO. 665 00:29:52,845 --> 00:29:55,882 I WENT OUT, TALKED TO HIS EMPLOYEES, WOW, THIS GUY COULD 666 00:29:55,882 --> 00:29:59,585 BE THE GREATEST PRESIDENT EVER. I TALKED TO HIS EMPLOYEES, EVERY 667 00:29:59,585 --> 00:30:03,189 ONE OF THEM SAID THE SAME THING. I WENT BACK TO MINNESOTA, I DID 668 00:30:03,189 --> 00:30:08,828 A PRESS RELEASE TO THE PRESS, I WAS THE MEDIA'S DARLING. 669 00:30:08,828 --> 00:30:11,998 I MET HIM, DIDN'T TELL THEM WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT I WAS ATTACKED 670 00:30:11,998 --> 00:30:14,534 LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN. THEY CALLED ME A RACIST, THEY 671 00:30:14,534 --> 00:30:15,902 CALLED ME EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE. 672 00:30:15,902 --> 00:30:20,039 I THOUGHT THEY WERE REAL PEOPLE. I'M GOING, WHAT DID I DO? 673 00:30:20,039 --> 00:30:23,443 I JUST SAID I MET THIS GUY. I HAD NOT BEEN INTO POLITICS. 674 00:30:23,443 --> 00:30:28,247 I GOT BEHIND A PERSON THAT I ‐‐ KEPT HIS PROMISES. I VETTED HIM. 675 00:30:28,247 --> 00:30:31,451 I'M NOT GOING TO CHANGE ON SOMETHING I HAVE THAT I VETTED. 676 00:30:31,451 --> 00:30:34,220 IF I DIDN'T HAVE THIS EVIDENCE, IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT. 677 00:30:34,220 --> 00:30:38,191 BUT I HAVE IT. IT'S REAL. SO PEOPLE CAN SAY, YOU'RE AN 678 00:30:38,191 --> 00:30:41,060 EX‐CRACK ADDICT SO YOUR BRAIN'S NOT BRIGHT. 679 00:30:41,060 --> 00:30:42,895 THEY CAN SAY ALL THEY WANT. IT'S GOING TO COME OUT. 680 00:30:42,895 --> 00:30:46,833 I KEEP PUTTING THE EVIDENCE OUT. IT'S GOING TO COME OUT. 681 00:30:46,833 --> 00:30:50,169 MARICOPA COUNTY, THEY'RE TRYING TO STOP, AS WE SPEAK ‐‐ 682 00:30:50,169 --> 00:30:52,905 >> Jimmy: I KNOW, THAT'S A RIDICULOUS OPERATION GOING ON 683 00:30:52,905 --> 00:30:53,139 THERE. 684 00:30:53,139 --> 00:30:54,841 >> ALL WE NEED IS TO LOOK AT THE MACHINES. 685 00:30:54,841 --> 00:30:57,610 IF THERE'S NOTHING TO HIDE, WHY WON'T THEY LET THE AMERICAN 686 00:30:57,610 --> 00:30:58,511 PEOPLE LOOK AT THEM? 687 00:30:58,511 --> 00:31:00,980 >> Jimmy: IT'S NOT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, IT'S SOME COMPANY FROM 688 00:31:00,980 --> 00:31:04,450 FLORIDA THAT HAS A GUY WHO'S SPREAD CONSPIRACY THEORYS IN THE 689 00:31:04,450 --> 00:31:08,821 PAST, IT'S NOT AN UNBIASED COMPANY. 690 00:31:08,821 --> 00:31:11,023 >> IF I WAS DOUGH MINUTE YAN, I WOULD HAVE SAID IN THE BEGINNING 691 00:31:11,023 --> 00:31:15,728 WHEN THIS EVIDENCE CAME OUT JANUARY 9th, LOOK AT EVERYBOD. 692 00:31:15,728 --> 00:31:17,997 >> Jimmy: FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AT THE TIME WAS RUN BY PEOPLE WHO 693 00:31:17,997 --> 00:31:22,068 WERE APPOINTED BY THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION ‐‐ 694 00:31:22,068 --> 00:31:26,406 >> DOMINION ‐‐ 695 00:31:26,406 --> 00:31:29,075 >> Jimmy: THEY'RE SAYING IT'S THE MOST SECURE ELECTION WE'VE 696 00:31:29,075 --> 00:31:29,409 EVER HAD ‐‐ 697 00:31:29,409 --> 00:31:30,042 [ APPLAUSE ] 698 00:31:30,042 --> 00:31:34,313 >> THE SAME GUY, CHRIS KREBS SAID THAT, DO YOU KNOW THREE 699 00:31:34,313 --> 00:31:39,385 WEEKS AGO CHRIS KREBS AND ADAM SCHIFF WERE ON "MORNING JOE," 700 00:31:39,385 --> 00:31:42,121 THEY ASKED HIM WHAT'S THE BIGGEST THREAT TO OUR COUNTRY, 701 00:31:42,121 --> 00:31:44,724 THEY SAID A CHINA CYBER ATTACK FROM CHINA, DOWN TO LOCAL 702 00:31:44,724 --> 00:31:46,993 RACIST, CHRIS KREBS SAID THAT ‐‐ 703 00:31:46,993 --> 00:31:49,095 >> Jimmy: THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. 704 00:31:49,095 --> 00:31:52,698 >> HE SAID IT WAS A SECURE JANUARY 9th, THIS WAS AFTER IS,‐ 705 00:31:52,698 --> 00:31:52,899 THIS. 706 00:31:52,899 --> 00:31:55,301 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SAY ONE THING REAL QUICK. 707 00:31:55,301 --> 00:31:57,270 I DON'T WANT ANYBODY TO GET THE WRONG IDEA HERE. 708 00:31:57,270 --> 00:32:00,072 WE'RE GOING TO ‐‐ WE HAVE LIMITED TIME ON THIS SHOW. 709 00:32:00,072 --> 00:32:02,742 WE'LL PUT THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION ON YOUTUBE SO 710 00:32:02,742 --> 00:32:03,776 PEOPLE CAN SEE THE WHOLE THING. 711 00:32:03,776 --> 00:32:04,277 >> RIGHT, RIGHT. 712 00:32:04,277 --> 00:32:06,145 >> Jimmy: I NEED TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK. 713 00:32:06,145 --> 00:32:09,482 MIKE LINDELL IS HERE WITH US. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 714 00:32:14,654 --> 00:32:15,188 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 715 00:32:15,188 --> 00:32:15,421 ♪ 716 00:32:15,421 --> 00:32:18,658 >> Jimmy: WE'RE BACK WITH MIKE LINDELL. 717 00:32:18,658 --> 00:32:20,593 MUSIC FROM TOM JONES IS ON THE WAY. 718 00:32:20,593 --> 00:32:21,928 CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR RAZZIE AWARDS. 719 00:32:21,928 --> 00:32:23,496 >> YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THAT. 720 00:32:23,496 --> 00:32:25,865 >> Jimmy: YOU WON WORST PICTURE AND WORST ACTOR. 721 00:32:25,865 --> 00:32:27,533 HAVE THEY SENT THE TROPHIES TO 722 00:32:27,533 --> 00:32:30,503 >> NO, THEY DIDN'T. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WON BUT I 723 00:32:30,503 --> 00:32:30,937 GUESS IT'S AN HONOR. 724 00:32:30,937 --> 00:32:35,141 >> Jimmy: I GUESS SO. YOUR FRIEND RUDY GIULIANI WAS 725 00:32:35,141 --> 00:32:40,346 ALSO THE RECIPIENT OF A RAZZIE AWARD FOR WORST SUPPORTING 726 00:32:40,346 --> 00:32:43,349 ACTOR, I BELIEVE. HE GOT RAIDED BY THE FEDS TODAY. 727 00:32:43,349 --> 00:32:44,717 IS HE SOMEBODY YOU ARE IN TOUCH WITH? 728 00:32:44,717 --> 00:32:45,151 >> NO. 729 00:32:45,151 --> 00:32:50,690 >> Jimmy: NO. IS DONALD TRUMP SMBS OMEBODY YOE 730 00:32:50,690 --> 00:32:51,557 IN TOUCH WITH? 731 00:32:51,557 --> 00:32:54,727 >> I TALK TO HIM EVERY MONTH OR SO WHEN I'M DONE THERE. 732 00:32:54,727 --> 00:32:56,596 >> Jimmy: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SPOKE WITH HIM? 733 00:32:56,596 --> 00:32:59,599 >> A COUPLE OF WEEKS, I GUESS, WHEN HE SAID HE WAS WORRIED 734 00:32:59,599 --> 00:33:01,567 ABOUT WHAT'S GOING DOWN AT THE BORDER. 735 00:33:01,567 --> 00:33:05,538 >> Jimmy: HE CALLED YOU TO TELL YOU HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT THAT? 736 00:33:05,538 --> 00:33:06,606 >> NO, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. 737 00:33:06,606 --> 00:33:08,841 >> Jimmy: TELL ME ABOUT THAT MEETING, WHEN YOU WENT INTO HIS 738 00:33:08,841 --> 00:33:12,078 OFFICE IN THE HEAT OF ALL THIS CRAZINESS GOING ON. THERE'S YOU. 739 00:33:12,078 --> 00:33:16,048 YOU'RE AT THE WHITE HOUSE. AND LET'S ZOOM IN ON ‐‐ A LOT 740 00:33:16,048 --> 00:33:17,049 HAS BEEN MADE OF THIS. 741 00:33:17,049 --> 00:33:17,517 >> RIGHT. 742 00:33:17,517 --> 00:33:21,287 >> Jimmy: THIS WAS ‐‐ IT SAYS, MARTIAL LAW IF NECESSARY ON THE 743 00:33:21,287 --> 00:33:21,921 DOCUMENTS THAT YOU HAD. 744 00:33:21,921 --> 00:33:22,488 >> RIGHT. 745 00:33:22,488 --> 00:33:23,990 >> Jimmy: YOU SAY THOSE WERE NOT YOUR PAPERS. 746 00:33:23,990 --> 00:33:27,627 >> NO, THEY WEREN'T. I HAD FOUR PAPERS AT THE 747 00:33:27,627 --> 00:33:30,763 EVIDENCE, AND THESE LAWYERS, A WHOLE TEAM OF LAWYERS, LIKE 23 748 00:33:30,763 --> 00:33:33,366 LAWYERS, THEY HAD GIVEN ME TWO PIECES OF PAPER THAT SAID, IF 749 00:33:33,366 --> 00:33:37,036 YOU GET A MEETING, GO AHEAD AND DELIVER THIS. 750 00:33:37,036 --> 00:33:37,637 >> Jimmy: HAD YOU READ THAT? 751 00:33:37,637 --> 00:33:39,338 >> NO, I HAD NOT EVEN READ IT. 752 00:33:39,338 --> 00:33:41,741 >> Jimmy: YOU WERE THEIR PAPER MULE? 753 00:33:41,741 --> 00:33:42,041 [ LAUGHTER ] 754 00:33:42,041 --> 00:33:45,444 >> I DELIVERED THIS, I SAID TO HIM, HERE THIS CAME FROM A 755 00:33:45,444 --> 00:33:49,015 LAWYER. THERE WAS ROBERT O'BRIEN, NATIONAL SECURITY, A COUPLE OF 756 00:33:49,015 --> 00:33:51,384 OTHER PEOPLE. THEY READ THE FIRST LINE AFTER 757 00:33:51,384 --> 00:33:54,353 WE HAD TALKED ABOUT THE EVIDENCE, HE SAID, BRING THESE 758 00:33:54,353 --> 00:33:54,620 UPSTAIRS. 759 00:33:54,620 --> 00:33:57,757 >> Jimmy: DID YOU DISCUSS MARTIAL LAW ‐‐ 760 00:33:57,757 --> 00:33:58,424 >> NO. 761 00:33:58,424 --> 00:33:59,759 >> Jimmy: WITH THE PRESIDENT? 762 00:33:59,759 --> 00:34:01,193 >> NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. 763 00:34:01,193 --> 00:34:03,062 >> Jimmy: YOU WERE THERE FOR WHAT REASONS? 764 00:34:03,062 --> 00:34:05,398 >> TO BRING IN THE EVIDENCE ABOUT THE MACHINES AND THE 765 00:34:05,398 --> 00:34:06,766 ATTACK ON OUR COUNTRY. 766 00:34:06,766 --> 00:34:08,434 >> Jimmy: WHAT DID HIS PEOPLE DO WITH THIS EVIDENCE? 767 00:34:08,434 --> 00:34:10,937 IT SEEMS LIKE THAT'S SOMETHING HE'D BE VERY INTERESTED IN. 768 00:34:10,937 --> 00:34:14,440 >> THEY TOOK ME ‐‐ I SAID, HERE, THESE ARE FROM A COUPLE LAWYERS. 769 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:18,077 AND HE ‐‐ BUT I SHOWED HIM THIS, I SAID, THESE ARE THINGS THAT ‐‐ 770 00:34:18,077 --> 00:34:21,614 CYBER ATTACKS, LONGITUDE, LATITUDE, MACHINES, ATTACK BY 771 00:34:21,614 --> 00:34:21,847 CHINA. 772 00:34:21,847 --> 00:34:23,349 >> Jimmy: DO YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND THIS STUFF? 773 00:34:23,349 --> 00:34:24,450 >> YES. ABSOLUTELY. 774 00:34:24,450 --> 00:34:26,686 >> Jimmy: LIKE WHAT DOES THE ‐‐ DO YOU KNOW WHAT AN IP ADDRESS 775 00:34:26,686 --> 00:34:26,919 IS? 776 00:34:26,919 --> 00:34:30,957 >> YEAH, IP, THEN WE HAVE THE I.D.s ‐‐ NOW WE ‐‐ 777 00:34:30,957 --> 00:34:32,692 >> Jimmy: WHAT DOES IP STAND FOR? 778 00:34:32,692 --> 00:34:33,693 >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT STAND FOR. 779 00:34:33,693 --> 00:34:36,662 >> Jimmy: SEE, I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT IP STANDS FOR 780 00:34:36,662 --> 00:34:37,597 IF YOU HAVE EVIDENCE ‐‐ 781 00:34:37,597 --> 00:34:41,534 >> IT'S WHERE THE COMPUTERS ARE AT. WHEREVER THE IP ADDRESS IS. 782 00:34:41,534 --> 00:34:43,769 OF THE COMPUTERS. I MEAN, I ‐‐ 783 00:34:43,769 --> 00:34:46,906 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT AN EXPERT WHEN IT COMES TO THIS STUFF? 784 00:34:46,906 --> 00:34:48,741 >> I DON'T HAVE TO BE. I DON'T HAVE TO BE AN EXPERT, I 785 00:34:48,741 --> 00:34:50,977 KNOW THAT THEY KNOW ‐‐ WHEN I TALK TO THE GUY THAT VALIDATED 786 00:34:50,977 --> 00:34:52,812 IT ‐‐ 787 00:34:52,812 --> 00:34:55,681 >> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE A HOTMAIL ADDRESS? BE HONEST. 788 00:34:55,681 --> 00:34:55,982 [ LAUGHTER ] 789 00:34:55,982 --> 00:34:57,216 >> NO, I DO NOT. 790 00:34:57,216 --> 00:35:04,757 >> Jimmy: YOU DONATED $50,000 TO A LEGAL FUND THAT WAS USED TO 791 00:35:04,757 --> 00:35:09,128 BAIL OUT THE ‐‐ AS THEY CALL HIM, THE KENOSHA SHOOTER THIS 792 00:35:09,128 --> 00:35:10,262 KID WHO ‐‐ 793 00:35:10,262 --> 00:35:13,099 >> THAT'S NOT TRUE. 794 00:35:13,099 --> 00:35:13,933 >> Jimmy: ‐‐ HAD THE ASSAULT RIFLE? 795 00:35:13,933 --> 00:35:14,800 >> THAT'S NOT TRUE. 796 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:15,735 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S NOT TRUE? 797 00:35:15,735 --> 00:35:22,742 >> I GAVE MONEY TO A LYNN WOODS FOUNDATION, HE DID STUFF WITH 798 00:35:22,742 --> 00:35:23,109 MANY DIFFERENT. 799 00:35:23,109 --> 00:35:23,609 >> Jimmy: YOU DID NOT ‐‐ 800 00:35:23,609 --> 00:35:24,877 >> HE HAS ALL KINDS OF STUFF, ALL KINDS OF DIFFERENT THINGS HE 801 00:35:24,877 --> 00:35:26,112 WAS ‐‐ 802 00:35:26,112 --> 00:35:29,782 >> Jimmy: WHEN YOU FOUND OUT HE WAS USING MONEY TO BAIL THIS KID 803 00:35:29,782 --> 00:35:31,951 OUT DID YOU ASK FOR THAT MONEY BACK? 804 00:35:31,951 --> 00:35:35,788 >> I DIDN'T KNOW HE USED IT FOR THAT, HE USED IT FOR ‐‐ 805 00:35:35,788 --> 00:35:37,423 >> Jimmy: ONCE YOU FOUND OUT ‐‐ 806 00:35:37,423 --> 00:35:40,926 >> HE USED IT FOR ELECTION FRAUD. 807 00:35:40,926 --> 00:35:42,428 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD YOU? 808 00:35:42,428 --> 00:35:46,732 >> THAT WAS ON HIS WEBSITE. THE NEWS GRABS IT, YOU GAVE 809 00:35:46,732 --> 00:35:50,803 MONEY TO LYNN WOOD, THEY DIDN'T CHECK IT OUT, MORE FAKE NEWS, 810 00:35:50,803 --> 00:35:55,074 THEY COME OUT THERE, LEAD STORIES ‐‐ HE DECIDES WHAT'S 811 00:35:55,074 --> 00:35:56,609 TRUE OR NOT IN THIS COUNTRY. 812 00:35:56,609 --> 00:35:59,178 >> Jimmy: DO YOU BELIEVE IN BIGFOOT? 813 00:35:59,178 --> 00:36:03,649 >> I DON'T KNOW, PROBABLY NOT. I HAVEN'T SEEN IT, YOU I NO I. 814 00:36:03,649 --> 00:36:06,185 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU PLANNING TO RUN FOR GOVERNOR OF MINNESOTA? 815 00:36:06,185 --> 00:36:09,021 >> I WOULDN'T RUN TO BE A DOG CATCHER RIGHT NOW ‐‐ 816 00:36:09,021 --> 00:36:11,123 >> STOP THE PRESSES, STOP THE PRESSES. 817 00:36:11,123 --> 00:36:11,424 [ LAUGHTER ] 818 00:36:11,424 --> 00:36:12,925 YOU GOT THIS GUY OUT THERE, THIS IS A FRAUD. 819 00:36:12,925 --> 00:36:15,127 THIS IS NOT THE MAN ‐‐ 820 00:36:15,127 --> 00:36:17,430 >> Jimmy: OH MY GOODNESS. 821 00:36:17,430 --> 00:36:19,298 >> GET THIS GUY SOME BLUE SHIRTS. 822 00:36:19,298 --> 00:36:22,535 >> HOLD ON A SECOND, I'M AS COMFORTABLE IN MY PAJAMAS AS I 823 00:36:22,535 --> 00:36:29,508 AM IN A BLEEDI IING BANDAGE ON OF MY HEAD. 824 00:36:29,508 --> 00:36:31,677 THIS GUY IS CLAIMING TO BE ME, THAT'S AN IMPOSTER. 825 00:36:31,677 --> 00:36:34,547 FIRST THEY WENT FOR THE PHONES. FIRST THEY WENT FOR OUR PHONES, 826 00:36:34,547 --> 00:36:35,181 NOW THEY'RE SENDING IN CLONES. 827 00:36:35,181 --> 00:36:39,418 [ LAUGHTER ] 828 00:36:39,418 --> 00:36:39,719 [ APPLAUSE ] 829 00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:41,420 LOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT HIM. 830 00:36:41,420 --> 00:36:43,889 >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS WHICH, I'M CONFUSED. 831 00:36:43,889 --> 00:36:46,859 >> I CHALLENGE YOU TO A PILLOW FIGHT AT THE MINNESOTA STATE 832 00:36:46,859 --> 00:36:51,097 FAIR THIS SUMMER. 833 00:36:51,097 --> 00:36:52,531 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 834 00:36:52,531 --> 00:36:53,099 >> YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT. 835 00:36:53,099 --> 00:36:56,502 >> THE CHINESE ARE SO CLOSE, THE CHINESE THEATER ACROSS THE 836 00:36:56,502 --> 00:36:56,736 STREET! 837 00:36:56,736 --> 00:36:58,838 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. MIKE LINDELL, EVERYBODY. 838 00:36:58,838 --> 00:37:01,894 WE'LL BE BACK WITH TOM JONES! 839 00:37:06,312 --> 00:37:08,414 >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS 840 00:37:08,414 --> 00:37:12,384 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 841 00:37:12,384 --> 00:37:15,621 >> Jimmy: THIS MAN IS A LIVING LEGEND. 842 00:37:15,621 --> 00:37:19,158 HIS NEW ALBUM "SURROUNDED BY TIME" WITH A COVER OF THE SONG 843 00:37:19,158 --> 00:37:26,599 "NO HOLE IN MY HEAD," THE GREAT TOM JONES! 844 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:28,167 ♪ 845 00:37:28,167 --> 00:37:31,937 ♪ 846 00:37:31,937 --> 00:37:33,239 ♪ EVERYBODY THINKS MY HEAD'S 847 00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:36,542 FULL OF NOTHING THEY WANNA PUT THEIR 848 00:37:36,542 --> 00:37:37,309 OWN SPECIAL STUFF IN ♪ 849 00:37:37,309 --> 00:37:39,044 ♪ FILL UP THE SPACE 850 00:37:39,044 --> 00:37:40,579 WITH CANDY WRAPPERS ♪ 851 00:37:40,579 --> 00:37:42,047 ♪ KEEP OUT SEX 852 00:37:42,047 --> 00:37:48,754 AND REVOLUTION BUT THERE'S NO HOLE IN MY HEAD ♪ 853 00:37:48,754 --> 00:37:52,224 ♪ TOO BAD 854 00:37:52,224 --> 00:37:57,229 THEY CALL ME A DUPE FOR THIS AND THE OTHER 855 00:37:57,229 --> 00:38:00,466 CALL ME A PUPPET ♪ 856 00:38:00,466 --> 00:38:01,000 ♪ ON A STRING 857 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:05,237 THEY DON'T KNOW MY HEAD'S FULL OF ME 858 00:38:05,237 --> 00:38:06,505 AND THAT I HAVE MY OWN ♪ 859 00:38:06,505 --> 00:38:09,008 ♪ SPECIAL THING 860 00:38:09,008 --> 00:38:15,781 AND THERE'S NO HOLE IN MY HEAD TOO BAD ♪ 861 00:38:15,781 --> 00:38:17,216 ♪ I HAVE LIVED 862 00:38:17,216 --> 00:38:24,456 SINCE EARLY CHILDHOOD FIGURING OUT WHAT'S GOING ON ♪ 863 00:38:24,456 --> 00:38:27,193 ♪ I KNOW WHAT HURTS 864 00:38:27,193 --> 00:38:31,964 I KNOW WHAT'S EASY WHEN TO STAND AND WHEN TO RUN ♪ 865 00:38:31,964 --> 00:38:33,199 ♪ BUT THERE'S NO HOLE 866 00:38:33,199 --> 00:38:40,573 IN MY HEAD TOO BAD SO PLEASE STOP SHOUTING ♪ 867 00:38:40,573 --> 00:38:43,309 ♪ IN MY EAR 868 00:38:43,309 --> 00:38:47,046 THERE'S SOMETHING I WANNA LISTEN TO 869 00:38:47,046 --> 00:38:50,015 THERE'S A KIND OF BIRDSONG ♪ 870 00:38:50,015 --> 00:38:51,517 ♪ UP THERE SOMEWHERE 871 00:38:51,517 --> 00:38:58,224 FEET WALKING WHEN I WANNA RUN BUT THERE'S NO HOLE ♪ 872 00:38:58,224 --> 00:38:59,491 ♪ IN MY HEAD 873 00:38:59,491 --> 00:39:04,730 TOO BAD EVERYBODY THINKS MY HEAD'S 874 00:39:04,730 --> 00:39:06,966 FULL OF NOTHING ♪ 875 00:39:06,966 --> 00:39:08,500 ♪ TRY TO PUT THEIR 876 00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:11,470 OWN SPECIAL STUFF IN FILL UP THE SPACE 877 00:39:11,470 --> 00:39:13,772 WITH CANDY WRAPPERS ♪ 878 00:39:13,772 --> 00:39:17,776 ♪ KILL OUT SEX 879 00:39:17,776 --> 00:39:21,280 AND REVOLUTION BUT THERE'S NO HOLE IN MY HEAD ♪ 880 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:25,718 ♪ TOO BAD 881 00:39:25,718 --> 00:39:33,192 NO THERE'S NO HOLE IN MY HEAD TOO BAD ♪ 882 00:39:33,192 --> 00:39:34,193 ♪ THERE'S NO HOLE 883 00:39:34,193 --> 00:39:37,396 IN MY HEAD 884 00:39:37,396 --> 00:39:43,135 TOO BAD ♪ 885 00:39:43,135 --> 00:39:43,302 ♪ 886 00:39:43,302 --> 00:39:47,506 ♪ 887 00:39:47,506 --> 00:39:54,813 ♪ YEAH WHOO 888 00:39:54,813 --> 00:39:54,980 ♪ 889 00:39:54,980 --> 00:40:02,354 ♪ 890 00:40:13,799 --> 00:40:19,405 >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS 891 00:40:19,405 --> 00:40:22,853 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ, THE BEST OR NOTHING. 892 00:40:23,943 --> 00:40:26,178 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK JUSTIN THEROUX, TOM JONES, 893 00:40:26,178 --> 00:40:29,281 JAMES ADOMIAN, AND OF COURSE, MIKE LINDELL. 894 00:40:29,281 --> 00:40:33,552 APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON, BOY, WHAT A NIGHT TO RUN OUT OF TIME 895 00:40:33,552 --> 00:40:35,321 FOR HIM. TOMORROW NIGHT, MAYA RUDOLPH AND 896 00:40:35,321 --> 00:40:36,388 MALCOLM GLADWELL, WITH MUSIC FROM KINGS OF LEON. 897 00:40:36,388 --> 00:40:37,856 "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.