>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE."
TONIGHT, JUSTIN THEROUX. THE CEO OF MYPILLOW, MIKE
LINDELL. AND MUSIC FROM TOM JONES.
AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
>> Jimmy: WELL, HI, EVERYONE. I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST OF THE
SHOW. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HOW DO I GET MYSELF INTO THESE? WOW, IT'S ‐‐ THANK YOU.
THIS SHOULD BE AN INTERESTING SHOW.
ALL THE WAY FROM AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, THE MYPILLOW MAN,
MIKE LINDELL, IS HERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SOMEHOW, A SIMPLE PILLOW SALESMAN FROM MINNESOTA GOT TO
THE BOTTOM OF THE DEEPEST CONSPIRACY IN THE HISTORY OF
AMERICAN POLITICS! IT'S SO CRAZY. IT'S ALMOST HARD TO BELIEVE!
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS WAS A BIG DAY FOR FRIENDS OF DONALD TRUMP.
THE FEDS RAIDED THE NEW YORK CITY APARTMENT AND
OFFICE OF RUDY GIULIANI TODAY. THE FBI SHOWED UP WITH SEARCH
WARRANTS AT 6:00 THIS MORNING. THEY MADE SURE TO SHOW UP IN
DAYLIGHT, WHEN RUDY WAS STILL ASLEEP IN HIS COFFIN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY TOOK THE FORMER MAYOR'S ELECTRONIC DEVICES, THEY WERE
SEIZED. I THINK IT'S SAFE TO ASSUME NONE
OF THOSE ELECTRONIC DEVICES WERE TOOTHBRUSHES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
RUDY'S LAWYER VERY UPSET. HE CALLED THE RAID "LEGAL
THUGGERY." HE SAID, "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS
TO ANYONE, LET ALONE SOMEONE WHO WAS THE ASSOCIATE ATTORNEY
GENERAL, U. S. ATTORNEY, MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY, AND THE PERSONAL
LAWYER TO THE 45th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?"
WHO WOULD DARE TO SHOW UP UNANNOUNCED AND TAKE HIS BELOVED
JITTERBUG PHONE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S JUST NOT AMERICAN. INVESTIGATORS ARE REPORTEDLY
CONDUCTING A CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION INTO GIULIANI'S
DEALINGS IN UKRAINE TO TRY TO DIG UP DIRT ON THE BIDENS ON
BEHALF OF DONALD TRUMP. AND IF YOU THINK HE WAS SWEATING
GRECIAN FORMULA BEFORE, YOU SHOULD SEE HIM NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
LOOKS LIKE A CHOCOLATE SUNDAE. LOOKS LIKE "RECOUNT DRACULA"
MIGHT BE GETTING A TICKET TO CANCELVANIA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
PRESIDENT BIDEN TONIGHT GAVE HIS FIRST ADDRESS TO CONGRESS
SINCE TAKING OFFICE. BIDEN SPEAKING BEFORE CONGRESS
WHILE THE FEDS ARE BUSTING DOWN GIULIANI'S DOOR.
THIS IS TURNING INTO THE BAPTISM SCENE IN "THE GODFATHER."
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE TONE OF THIS ADDRESS WAS SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT FROM
A YEAR AGO. AND THE SERGEANT‐AT‐ARMS HAD FUN
WITH IT.
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I AM RELIEVED TO ANNOUNCE, AFTER
FOUR YEARS OF BAT [ BLEEP ] LUNACY, A CALM, REASONABLE
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
[ BLEEP ] HALLELUJAH!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW IT GOT STARTED, WITH A BANG.
PRESIDENT BIDEN TONIGHT LAID OUT THE SPECIFICS FOR HIS
AMERICAN FAMILIES PLAN. TRUMP HAD A FAMILY PLAN TOO, BUT
HIS WAS TO GIVE JOBS TO EVERYONE IN HIS FAMILY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
REPUBLICAN TIM SCOTT, THE ONLY BLACK REPUBLICAN IN THE SENATE,
DELIVERED THE REBUTTAL. I GUESS THEY SAW HOW WELL BIDEN
WAS DOING AND THEY WERE LIKE, "I'M NOT REBUTTING THAT.
LET THE BLACK GUY DO IT."
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS TELLS YOU ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN THE TWO PARTIES. TONIGHT, JOE BIDEN PROPOSED $109
BILLION TO MAKE TWO‐YEAR COMMUNITY COLLEGE FREE FOR
STUDENTS, $80 BILLION FREE FOR PELL GRANTS TO LOW‐INOME
STUDENTS, $62 BILLION TO BOOST COMPLETION RATES AT COMMUNITY
COLLEGES THAT SERVE DISADVANTAGED STUDENTS.
AND $39 BILLION TO SUBSIDIZE EDUCATION AT HISTORICALLY BLACK
OR MINORITY SCHOOLS. DONALD TRUMP, LAST YEAR, DID
THIS.
>> TONIGHT I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.
I CAN PROUDLY ANNOUNCE TONIGHT THAT AN OPPORTUNITY SCHOLARSHIP
HAS BECOME AVAILABLE, IT'S GOING TO YOU, AND YOU WILL SOON BE
HEADING TO THE SCHOOL OF YOUR CHOICE.
>> Jimmy: HE GAVE OUT ONE SCHOLARSHIP ON TV, TO ONE LITTLE
GIRL WHO, BY THE WAY, WAS ALREADY ENROLLED IN A GREAT
SCHOOL. AND I DON'T THINK WENT TO THE
SCHOOL. WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT A GUY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YOU KNOW, A MAJORITY OF AMERICANS, 53%, APPROVE OF THE
JOB BIDEN HAS DONE SO FAR. AND WHEN IT COMES TO HOW HE'S
HANDLED COVID, HIS APPROVAL GOES UP TO 66%.
THAT'S THE GREAT THING ABOUT FOLLOWING SOMEONE WHO WAS
TERRIBLE. PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "HE'S NOT EVEN
TELLING US TO DRINK CLOROX. PUT HIS FACE ON MONEY!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
BIDEN'S LOWEST NUMBERS ARE IN THE CATEGORY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS.
TRUMP HAD A LOT OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS. BIDEN HASN'T HAD ANY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO FAR. SO I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE AWARE
OF THAT. BUT TODAY IS A SPECIAL DAY ON
TWITTER. DID YOU KNOW THIS, GUILLERMO?
>> Guillermo: NO, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: TODAY IS THE DAY WE CELEBRATE "ED BALLS DAY."
IT'S A NEW HOLIDAY THAT STARTED IN 2011.
A MEMBER OF BRITISH PARLIAMENT ACCIDENTALLY TWEETED HIS NAME,
ED BALLS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND A DAY OF CELEBRATION WAS BORN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
PUT THAT BACK UP ON THE SCREEN. YOU KNOW, WE PUT A LOT OF WORK
INTO WRITING JOKES ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.
AND THEN THIS GUY ACCIDENTALLY TWEETS HIS NAME, AND IT'S
FUNNIER THAN ANYTHING.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
CURSE YOU, ED BALLS! YOU KNOW, WE ARE VERY FOCUSED ON
HOW CRAZY THINGS ARE AT THE TOP LEVELS OF GOVERNMENT, BUT
THERE'S A LOT OF WEIRD STUFF GOING ON AT THE BOTTOM TOO.
THIS CAME FROM NOT FAR FROM HERE, AT A MEETING OF THE ORANGE
COUNTY BOARD OF SUPERVISORS WHERE, IN A QUESTION SESSION
WITH THE DIRECTOR OF THE COUNTY HEALTH, AN ELECTED OFFICIAL
NAMED DON WAGNER PROVED HIMSELF TO BE THE SECOND‐DUMBEST DON IN
THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.
>> IT'S ONLY AT THE PATIENT'S REQUEST.
>> THAT'S CORRECT. INTENTION OF TRACKING FOLKS?
>> NOPE.
>> IS THERE ANY IN THE VACCINE ‐‐ WE HEARD ABOUT
INJECTION OF A TRACKING DEVICE ‐‐ IS ‐‐ IS THAT BEING
DONE ANYWHERE? IN ORANGE COUNTY?
>> I'M SORRY, I JUST HAVE TO COMPOSE MYSELF.
THERE'S NOT A VACCINE WITH A TRACKING DEVICE EMBEDDED IN IT
THAT I KNOW OF EXISTS IN THE WORLD. PERIOD.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. IF THE VACCINES AREN'T TRACKING
US, THEN HOW DID INSTAGRAM KNOW I NEED A NEW DISHWASHER?
IS THAT A COINCIDENCE, DOCTOR? WHAT A FUN NEW WORLD WE LIVE IN.
I DON'T WANT TO WASTE A TON OF TIME TALKING.
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT, WITH JUSTIN THEROUX, TOM JONES,
AND AS WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT, ONE OF AMERICA'S MOST
PROMINENT CONSPIRACY THEORISTS SLASH PILLOW SALESMEN,
MIKE LINDELL.
>> I MADE IT, I MADE IT, I MADE IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
OH MY GOSH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, JIMMY, JIMMY KIMMEL!
HOW ARE YOU, JIMMY? SON OF A GUN, HERE WE ARE IN
HOLLYWOOD.
>> Jimmy: I WASN'T INTRODUCING YOU YET. I WAS JUST SAYING ‐‐
>> I'M EXCITED TO BE HERE.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE ON LATER.
>> IT'S BEEN A LONG JOURNEY, I TELL YOU, JIMMY.
I STOWED AWAY IN THE LUGGAGE COMPARTMENT OF A GREYHOUND BUS
ALL THE WAY FROM MANKATO, MINNESOTA ON ACCOUNT OF BEIN'
BANNED FROM EVERY AIRLINE THERE IS!
[ LAUGHTER ]
EVERY AIRLINE, THAT'S WHAT THEY DO TO PATRIOTS.
>> Jimmy: WHY ARE YOU BANNED FROM EVERY AIRLINE?
>> BECAUSE I REFUSE TO WEAR A MASK, I DON'T WANT TO TAKE OFF
MY SHOES AT SECURITY! I DON'T WANT THE DEEP STATE
TSA GETTING AHOLD OF MY TOE PRINTS!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT MAKES SENSE. WHAT DOES YOUR SHIRT SAY?
>> IT'S A TANK, NOT A SHIRT. IT SAYS, "WHO FARTED?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU SEE IT? WHO FARTED, YOU GET IT?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, I TOTALLY GET IT.
>> AND TO TOP THAT OFF, THEY JUST THREW ME OUT OF THE
WETZEL'S PRETZELS ACROSS THE STREET.
THEY SAID MY MONEY WAS NO GOOD, JIMMY KIMBLE, BECAUSE I WAS
PAYING ‐‐ JUST BECAUSE I WAS PAYING WITH PIGEON FEATHERS AND
POSSUM TEETH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: PIGEON FEATHERS AND POSSUM TEETH?
>> YES. THE NATIVE AMERICANS CALLED IT
"WAMPUM," JIMMY! I'M BEIN' CANCELLED FOR THE
COLOR OF MY SKIN! THAT'S WHAT THEY DO TO PATRIOTS
IN THIS COUNTRY!
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE ASKED TO LEAVE FOR THROWING TEETH, HUH?
WHAT'S IN THE PILLOW ‐‐
>> IT'S JUST A ‐‐ I STOLE A WHOLE TRAY OFF THE GAL
OUT FRONT! A WHOLE TRAY FROM WETZELS'S
PRETZELS OUT THERE. ONE THING I LEARNED GROWING UP
IN THE GREAT STATE OF MINNESOTA IS IF SOMETHIN' SAYS "FREE
PRETZELS," THAT MEANS THE PRETZELS ARE FREE!
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND IF SOMETHIN' SAYS "I'M THE DARK LORD, DO MY BIDDING," YOU
TRY AND DROWN IT IN THE TUB, EVEN IF YOUR WIFE IS YELLIN'
"STOP, MIKE! THAT'S MY BROTHER KEN!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY, WELL. MIKE ‐‐ I DO HAVE A LOT OF
QUESTIONS FOR YOU. WE'LL CLEAN THAT UP, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT. YOU HAVE TO WAIT BACKSTAGE UNTIL
IT'S TIME ‐‐
>> OH, I GET IT, FINE. CENSOR ME.
>> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO ‐‐
>> THE DEEP STATE STARTS HERE, JIMMY KIMBLE.
>> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO.
>> JUST LIKE THE REST OF THE LAMESTREAM MEDIA.
>> Jimmy: I'M NOT SAYING THAT ‐‐
>> THIS IS WHY I LAUNCHED FRANK. HOLY SNAKES AND LADDERS, IT'S A
CARAVAN OF MEXICANS!
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> HOW'D THEY GET HERE?
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT A CARAVAN, THAT'S ONE GUY.
>> LET ME TELL YOU, EVERY CARAVAN STARTS WITH ONE.
JESUS SAID THAT. BUILD THE WALL! LOCK HER UP!
LOCK THE WALL UP AND BUILD HER!
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THAT'S MIKE ‐‐
>> WHERE THE HELL IS HUNTER BIDEN?
>> Jimmy: WE DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.
>> STOP THE STEAL!
>> Jimmy: MIKE LINDELL WILL BE HERE ‐‐
>> WHERE'S THE BATHROOM?
>> Jimmy: IT'S RIGHT THAT WAY.
>> OKAY. AAH!
>> Jimmy: MIKE LINDELL WILL BE HERE LATER.
WE HAVE MUSIC FROM THE GREAT TOM JONES, AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH JUSTIN THEROUX!
>> Jimmy: HI, WELCOME BACK! THERE'S A LOT OF ELECTRICITY IN
THE AIR. TONIGHT, THE MYPILLOW MAN
HIMSELF, MIKE LINDELL, IS HERE. THE REAL ONE.
STUFFED WITH THAT PATENTED FILL EVERYONE LOVES SO MUCH.
THEN, LATER, A LEGENDARY PERFORMER, HIS NEW ALBUM IS
CALLED "SURROUNDED BY TIME," MUSIC FROM THE GREAT TOM JONES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
TOMORROW NIGHT, MAYA RUDOLPH AND MALCOLM GLADWELL WILL JOIN US,
WITH MUSIC FROM KINGS OF LEON. AND ON FRIDAY NIGHT, PLEASE JOIN
ME AND MY FRIEND AND YOUTUBE PHENOM MARK ROBER FOR A SPECIAL
EVENT CALLED "COLOR THE SPECTRUM: A LIVESTREAM TO
SUPPORT THE AUTISM COMMUNITY." IT'S A LIVE SHOW WE'RE HOSTING
TO RAISE MONEY FOR NEXT FOR AUTISM. OUR GUESTS WILL INCLUDE
ADAM SANDLER, CHRIS ROCK, JON STEWART, CONAN O'BRIEN,
KENAN THOMPSON, STEPHEN COLBERT, JOHN OLIVER, JACK BLACK, ANDY
SAMBERG, PAUL RUDD, ZACH GALIFIANAKIS, SARAH SILVERMAN,
MARK HAMILL, AND MANY, MANY MORE, LUMINARIES FROM THE
YOUTUBE COMMUNITY. IT'S GOING TO BE A FUN NIGHT TO
RAISE A LOT OF MONEY TO HELP THOSE WHO NEED IT.
THAT'S STREAMING LIVE THIS FRIDAY NIGHT STARTING AT
8:00 P. M. EASTERN, 5:00 PACIFIC ON MARK ROBER'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL.
PLEASE JOIN US FOR THAT. OUR FIRST GUEST HAS IT ALL, HE'S
SMART, FUNNY, HANDSOME, TALENTED. HE HAS A DOG, AND HE EVEN HAS A
SILENT X IN HIS NAME. WHICH IS RARE.
HIS NEW SEVEN‐EPISODE SERIES IS CALLED "THE MOSQUITO COAST."
>> WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?
>> BECAUSE WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
>> NOBODY WILL SAY WHAT KIND OF PROBLEM.
>> YOU KNOW THE KIND OF PROBLEM THAT YOU THINK, OKAY, FIRST
GLANCE THAT LOOKS PRETTY BAD. MAYBE IF I JUST SIT DOWN AND
THINK ABOUT IT, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIGURE A WAY OUT OF IT.
>> UH‐HUH.
>> WE DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF PROBLEM.
>> Jimmy: "THE MOSQUITO COAST" PREMIERES FRIDAY ON APPLE TV
PLUS. PLEASE WELCOME JUSTIN THEROUX.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: OH. WOW. JUSTIN? HEY. DID WE CATCH YOU ‐‐
>> WHY AM I HERE? WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW.
>> YOU HAVE MIKE LINDELL ON THE SHOW, JIMMY.
YOU'RE DOING THIS WRONG, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE MATT DAMON AT
THE END WHERE YOU'RE, WE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR JUSTIN.
>> Jimmy: NO, NO.
>> YOU SHOULD BE WITH MIKE RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK.
>> Jimmy: JUSTIN, PLEASE. DON'T EVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO
MATT DAMON, DON'T DO THAT TO YOURSELF.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S NOT RIGHT. ANYWAY. WELL, YOU LOOK ‐‐ ARE THOSE
MYPILLOWS YOU'RE LAYING ON?
>> THESE ARE ALL MYPILLOWS, I BOUGHT A BUNCH JUST FOR THE
NIGHT, I'M VERY EXCITED FOR THE NIGHT. I'M GEARING UP.
WE STUFFED A WHOLE APARTMENT WITH MYPILLOWS. I'M EXCITED.
YOU HAVE SPORTS AND I HAVE MIKE LINDELL, THIS IS KIND OF MY
SUPER BOWL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WHY DO THEY APPEAR TO BE SOME RED FOAM RUBBER STICKING
OUT OF THEM?
>> MIKE SEES RED!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I SEE WHAT THAT IS, OKAY, ALL RIGHT. WOW.
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT. I REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF IN THE
RESTROOM WITH THIS COVER OF "ELSE CH
"ESQUIRE" MAGAZINE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS?
WE COULD BE TALKING ABOUT MIKE LINDELL.
>> Jimmy: NO, WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT YOU AND YOUR DOG,
CUMA.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU THINK CUMA KNOWS
SHE'S ON THE COVER OF "ELSE
CHO "ESQUIRE"?
>> OF COURSE NOT, SHE'S A DOG.
>> Jimmy: THE DOG SHOULD APPRECIATE THAT.
>> I'M ON THE COVER OF "ESQUIRE" WITH HER, IN A WEIRD WAY.
SHE'D APPRECIATE IT. I BOUGHT HER STACKS OF THEM.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU READ THIS ARTICLE YET? I ASSUME YOU HAVE.
THE WRITER DESCRIBES YOU IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH AS HAVING AN
UNFRIVOLOUS JAW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> Jimmy: I'VE ALWAYS SAID, THERE'S NO FRIVOLITY ABOUT YOUR
JAW WHATSOEVER. IT'S VERY SERIOUS.
>> CAN WE GET BACK TO LINDELL?
>> Jimmy: NO, DON'T SAY IT. BOY, YOU'RE NOT UNCOMFORTABLE
WITH THIS, ARE YOU? OH, WOW.
>> I'M NOT, BUT I MEAN, YOU HAVE ‐‐ THIS IS WHY OPRAH GETS
SUCH GOOD RATINGS, BECAUSE YOU KNOW, SHE'S PUTS THE ‐‐ SHE PUT
THE BRITISH KIDS ON FIRST. SHE DIDN'T HAVE SOMEONE BEFORE
MIKE LINDELL.
>> Jimmy: I SEE, YOU'RE RIGHT.
>> BEFORE THE BRITISH KIDS. LIKE OPRAH HAVING DON KNOTS
BEFORE THE ROYAL FAMILY COMES ON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THIS IS MY HARRY AND MEGHAN MOMENT.
>> THIS IS YOUR MOMENT, THIS IS WHY OPRAH KICKS YOUR ASS IN THE
RATINGS, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET IT TOGETHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I SHOULD BE SECOND GUEST TONIGHT.
>> Jimmy: I HAVE A NUMBER OF THINGS I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT BEFORE I GET TO MIKE, THEY'RE IMPORTANT.
FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE FANTASTIC IN THIS SHOW.
YOU'VE BEEN GETTING GREAT REVIEWS FOR THIS.
I'M SURE YOU'VE READ THEM, YES?
>> NO. I HAVE NOT. I HAVE NOT READ THEM.
BECAUSE THAT CUTS BOTH WAYS. IF THEY'RE A BAD REVIEW, THEN I
DON'T WANT TO READ THEM.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, OKAY. I'LL SEND YOU THE GOOD ONES.
THEY'RE ALL GOOD, YOU CAN JUST READ THEM, OKAY?
>> THAT'S A NICE THING.
>> Jimmy: THERE'S A REALLY ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW, I THINK A VERY COOL
CONNECTION, BECAUSE YOUR UNCLE, PAUL, WROTE THE BOOK "THE
MOSQUITO COAST." YOU ARE NOW STARRING AS PRODUCER
ALONG WITH YOUR UNCLE. THAT'S KIND OF GREAT, ISN'T IT?
THIS IS A BOOK HE WROTE IN 1981, NOW YOU'RE WORKING TOGETHER,
PLAYING A CHARACTER HE CREATED.
>> THAT'S THE TRUTH. WELL, IT CAME OUT, YOU KNOW ‐‐
HARRISON FORD DID THIS IN A MOVIE.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> HE PLAYED THE CHARACTER. I WAS TOO YOUNG AT THE TIME, I
WAS 10. NOW IT TIMED OUT. I CAN DO IT ‐‐ I MEAN, IT WAS
REALLY BY ACCIDENT. IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ‐‐
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
>> IT WASN'T NEPOTISM, IT WASN'T ME CALLING GOING, HEY, WE SHOULD
DO "MOSQUITO COAST." THE TRAIN HAD LEFT THE STATION
WITH APPLE PLUS. AND THEN I HEARD ABOUT THE
SCRIPT, THEN I CALLED THEM, AND I SAID I WANTED TO DO IT, READ
IT, AT LEAST. AND THEN I GOT EXCITED WHEN I
READ THE SCRIPT.
>> Jimmy: IS YOUR FAMILY EXCITED THAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING THIS
TOGETHER?
>> YES. THEY ARE. YES, THEY ARE, THEY ARE EXCITED.
I MEAN, IT'S A WEIRD THING. YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE ‐‐ THEY'RE
THRILLED. THE CHARACTER IS LOOSELY BASED
ON MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY AND OTHER PEOPLE, OBVIOUSLY.
BUT IT WAS SORT OF BASED ON MY GRANDFATHER A LITTLE BIT.
>> Jimmy: WOW. THAT'S CRAZY.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: TO BE PLAYING A CHARACTER BASED ON YOUR
GRANDFATHER.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND YOUR GRANDFATHER WAS A GUY WHO WAS LIKE ‐‐ WELL,
FIRST OF ALL, VERY SMART. ALSO LIKE ‐‐
>> A GENIUS CHARACTER.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> HE WAS VERY THRIFTY. YOU KNOW, HE WOULD TAKE THE KIDS
TO THE DUMP ALL THE TIME, THAT WAS A NORMAL SUNDAY OUTING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> HIS PHILOSOPHY WAS, IF YOU CAN'T FIND IT AT THE DUMP, YOU
DON'T NEED RIT ARE AND HE'S NOT WRONG.
BOOKS, RECORDS, DOOR HINGES.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO MENTION A PRANK THAT YOU ‐‐ A VERY WEIRD
PRANK. I HAVE TO SAY, I'VE BEEN THE
VICTIM OF A LOT OF PRANKS. THIS IS PROBABLY THE WEIRDEST,
THE MOST SUBTLE PRANK I'VE BEEN THE VICTIM OF.
WHY DON'T YOU EXPLAIN THIS. THIS WILL GIVE A LITTLE INSIGHT
INTO BOTH OF US, I THINK.
>> YOU AND OUR FRIEND JOHN KRASINSKI LIKE TO DO BIG PRANKS,
DROPPING SWIMMING POOL GOLF BALLS ON EACH OTHER, WHATEVER.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> I GO FOR SUBTLE PRANKS. AND MOLLY ‐‐ AT ONE TIME I WAS
AT YOUR HOUSE, YOU WERE PULLING TONGS OUT OF THE HOLDER WHERE
THE WOODEN SPOONS ARE. THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY, MOLLY PUTS
THESE IN THE WRONG WAY, I PULL THEM OUT, IT GOES EVERYWHERE.
AT THE BEGINNING OF THE PANDEMIC, THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT.
>> Jimmy: LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT BOTHERS ME. OKAY?
[ LAUGHTER ]
I USE TONGS A LOT WHEN I'M COOKING.
AND THEN SOME PEOPLE, AND I DON'T KNOW THAT IT'S ‐‐ I DON'T
KNOW WHO'S DOING THIS IN MY HOUSE ‐‐ PUT THE TONGS IN LIKE
THIS. THIS WAY.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND I WANT THE TONGS IN LIKE THIS, ON THE SIDE.
BECAUSE IT'S NICE, IT'S CLIPPED RIGHT TO THE SIDE.
YOU ASKED MOLLY TO DO WHAT?
>> AT THE BEGINNING OF THE LOCKDOWN PANDEMIC, THIS AS YEAR
OR SO AGO, I CALLED HER, AND I SAID, MAKE SURE EVERY DAY, YOU
PUT THE TONGS IN THE WRONG WAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: EVERY DAY I FIND THIS.
>> YOU FIND THAT.
>> Jimmy: AND IT DROVE ME CRAZY.
>> AND THEN AFTER ABOUT ‐‐ I THINK IT WAS, I DON'T KNOW, NINE
MONTHS?
>> Jimmy: IT WAS FIVE FULL MONTHS THAT THIS WENT ON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> FIVE MONTHS.
>> Jimmy: ALL THE TIME.
>> SHE SENT ME A VIDEO.
>> Jimmy: YOU SENT HER A VIDEO. SHE SENT YOU A VIDEO OF ME
GOING, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? THEN YOU SENT HER ‐‐ YOU SENT ME
THIS VIDEO, FINALLY, REVEALING.
>> [ BLEEP ] SUCKER.
[ BLEEP ], [ BLEEP ].
SO STUPID, JIMMY, IT WAS A PRANK ALL ALONG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YOU KISS YOUR DOG WITH THAT MOUTH?
>> A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKE PRANKS THAT GO OUT WITH A HUGE BANG.
I LIKE ONES THAT GO OUT WITH A LITTLE WHIMPER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHATEVER IT WAS, IT DROVE ME COMPLETELY INSANE.
SO THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I APPRECIATE THAT.
>> HAPPY PRANK TO YOU.
>> Jimmy: JUSTIN THEROUX, EVERYBODY.
>> WAIT.
>> Jimmy: WHAT, WHAT?
>> I MADE THIS FOR MIKE. I WANT TO PITCH MIKE THESE
SHIRTS.
>> Jimmy: OH, I LIKE IT. I LIKE IT A LOT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I'LL MENTION IT TO HIM.
>> PITCH IT.
>> Jimmy: "MOSQUITO COAST" PREMIERES FRIDAY ON APPLE TV
PLUS. JUSTIN THEROUX, EVERYBODY. THANKS, JUSTIN.
BE BACK WITH MIKE LINDELL!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: HELLO, THERE. MUSIC FROM TOM JONES IS COMING
UP. IN OUR NATION'S LONG AND STORIED
HISTORY, ONLY ONE PILLOW SALESMAN HAS EVER BEEN CALLED TO
THE OVAL OFFICE BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT WAS UNHAPPY WITH HIS
ELECTION RESULTS. OUR NEXT GUEST IS THAT PILLOW
MAN, AND HE HAS A LOT TO SAY.
>> ALL NINE OF THOSE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES ARE GOING TO VOTE
9‐0 BECAUSE THEY ‐‐ HERE'S YOUR ‐‐ IS THAT A HAND OR A FOOT?
THEY'RE GOING TO GO, IT'S A HAND. IT'S LIKE MAFIA DAYS BUT LIKE
WHEN I USED TO BET FOOTBALL, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
HE COULDN'T RUN A PEANUT FACTORIES.
NOT THAT PEANUTS ARE ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.
DID YOU SEE ANY NUDITY IN PORN? I'M GETTING DEATH THREATS AND
EVERYTHING ELSE. THEY'RE TRYING TO TURN OUR POWER
OFF, THEY'RE ATTACKING OUR POWER GRID HERE.
>> Jimmy: THEY'RE ATTACKING HIS POWER GRID.
PLEASE WELCOME MIKE LINDELL!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR COMING.
>> YEAH, THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
>> Jimmy: WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN A BED TOGETHER, I'M SORRY
ABOUT THAT. THE COVID PEOPLE ‐‐
>> THEY'VE GOT RULES HERE IN CALIFORNIA.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU BEEN VACCINATED?
>> NO, I'VE NOT BEEN VACCINATED.
>> I MEANT FOR RABIES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I DID BRING YOU A BOOK.
>> Jimmy: I'VE READ YOUR BOOK.
>> YOU READ IT?
>> Jimmy: I DID.
>> YOU KNOW THAT COVER, 14 DAYS WITH THE DRUG DEALERS.
>> Jimmy: I READ IT ON MY iPAD.
>> THEY DID AN INTERVENTION ON ME.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> CAME UPSTAIRS, DOWNTOWN MINNEAPOLIS, CAME UPSTAIRS, AND
THEY SAID ‐‐ THE ONE GUY SAYS, YOU'VE BEEN TELLING US FOR YEARS
THIS PILLOW THING, THIS IS THE PLATFORM FOR GOD, WE WANT YOU TO
COME BACK AND HELP US SOMEDAY. I'VE GOT THE LINDELL RECOVERY
NETWORK, I'M HELPING MILLIONS OF ADDICTS.
>> Jimmy: YOU SET AN EXAMPLE BY RECOUGHING FROM A HORRIBLE
ADDICTION TO CRACK. I KNOW YOU MIGHT THINK THIS
SOUNDS WEIRD. I READ HUNTER BIDEN'S BOOK AS
WELL AND YOU GUYS HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU REALLY DO.
>> THE SAME THINGS WHEN YOU'RE PARANOIDS, THE PARANOIDS GO WITH
IT.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT, THE PARANOIA.
YOU ARE HERE ‐‐ YOU'VE BEEN HIDING, BEEN IN HIDING, IS THAT
CORRECT?
>> YEAH, BUT NOT BECAUSE OF PARANOIA.
>> Jimmy: HOW DO YOU KNOW?
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HOME FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS, IS THIS TRUE?
>> THAT'S RIGHT, I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD ON THIS ELECTION
AND THE MACHINES.
>> Jimmy: AND THE MACHINES. WE'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT THE
MACHINES. YOU WERE WORRIED SOMEONE IS
TRYING TO KILL YOU?
>> I'VE HAD THREATS. MANY, MANY, MANY THREAT.
>> YOU HAVE?
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU STARTED OUT AS A BAR OWNER IN MINNESOTA, RIGHT?
>> I STARTED OUT ‐‐ I WAS ALWAYS KIND OF AN ENTREPRENEUR.
MY SISTER FLOODED A THIRD STORY BUILDING IN AN APARTMENT
COMPLEX, I BECAME A CARPET CLEANER.
>> Jimmy: YOU BECAME ADDICTED TO COCAINE AND CRACK, HAD A
GAMBLING PROBLEM, SUPPORTED YOURSELF COUNTING CARDS.
>> RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: YOU SMOKE CRACK, COUNTED CARDS, THEY'D THROW YOU
OUT. ARRESTED, SOLD YOUR BAR, STARTED
MAKING PILLOWS. QUIT SMOKING CRACK, MADE
MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, FELL IN LOVE WITH DONALD TRUMP, NOW HERE
WE ARE, IS THAT CORRECT, BASICALLY?
[ APPLAUSE ]
DID I MISS ANYTHING?
>> YOU MISSED ONE THING. JANUARY 16, 2009, BY THE GRACE
OF GOD, HE DID FREE ME OF ALL THE ADDICTIONS.
>> Jimmy: YES.
>> I WOKE UP, LOOKING AROUND, I WASN'T INTO POLITICS, I DIDN'T
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT A CONSERVATIVE WAS, A LIBERAL, I
DIDN'T KNOW A FILIBUSTER, I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING.
>> Jimmy: SOME WOULD SAY YOU STILL DON'T, TO BE HONEST.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I STILL SAY WARSH, NOT WASH. I SAID IF I RAN I'D PUT THE "R"
BACK IN WASHINGTON. SUMMER OF '16 I WAS INVITED BY
DONALD TRUMP, I HADN'T MET HIM BEFORE, AUGUST 16, 2016.
HE BROUGHT ME IN, WE TALKED ABOUT, HE SAYS, MIKE, YOU DO
YOUR MANUFACTURING IN, I WANT TO BRING MANUFACTURING BACK.
WE TALKED. I SAID, I USED TO BE A CRACK
ADDICT, I WANT TO HELP MILLIONS OF ADDICTS.
>> Jimmy: YOU LIKED HIS MADE IN THE USA, THIS IDEA, THIS MADE IN
THE USA POLICY THAT HE HAD?
>> WELL, YEAH. IF YOU CAN MAKE IT HERE.
A LOT OF THE THINGS YOU CAN'T.
>> Jimmy: YES, HE DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING ‐‐ HE'S GOT HIS WEBSITE
IS LIKE TWO‐THIRDS MADE ELSEWHERE.
>> THERE'S A LOT OF THE THINGS YOU CAN'T MAKE HERE.
MY SHEETS, THERE'S NO WEAVERS OR SPINNERS LEFT IN THE UNITED
STATES. MY TOWELS, I HAVE TO SHIP IT
OVER, THEY DON'T HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY HERE.
>> Jimmy: LET'S BE TRUTHFUL. I HAVE A BUZZER HERE, FOR THE
LAWYERS, IF CASE THERE'S ANYTHING WE HAVE TO CHALLENGE.
>> RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: A LOT OF PEOPLE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO COME ON THE SHOW.
LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES. EVERYBODY SAID ‐‐ TOLD ME, DON'T
HAVE YOU ON THE SHOW, THEY TOLD YOU, DON'T GO ON THE SHOW.
>> YES, THEY DID.
>> Jimmy: I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT THAT WE TALK TO EACH OTHER.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> YES. YES.
>> Jimmy: I ALSO ‐‐ YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE ‐‐ I DON'T THINK
THERE'S ANY VALIDITY TO ANY OF THIS STUFF THAT YOU'RE SAYING.
AND I'VE STUDIED YOU. I REALLY HAVE.
>> I KNOW YOU HAVE, 22 HOURS YOU WATCHED, I HEARD.
>> Jimmy: I WATCHED YOU LAST NIGHT AT 11:00.
I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT I LAUGH AT A LOT
OF THE STUFF, BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T LAUGH.
>> RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: A LOT OF THE THESE IDEAS YOU ESPOUSE, I THINK, YOU
KNOW ‐‐ I THINK YOU COULD POTENTIALLY DRAW A LINE FROM
THOSE TO THE RIOT WE HAD AT THE CAPITOL WHERE PEOPLE WERE KILLED
AND A LOT OF BAD THINGS.
>> HERE'S WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO THAT, I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING
UNTIL JANUARY 9th AND THIS WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
THIS WAS THE MACHINES, THIS WAS ATTACK THROUGH THE MACHINES,
YOU'VE SEEN IT. WHAT I'M SAYING IS TO EVERYONE.
THIS ISN'T A DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN THING.
FOR ME IT'S PUTTING IT OUT THERE, IT'S LIKE THIS.
I WANT TO ASK EVERYONE THIS. IF SOMEONE WAS SAYING MY PILLOWS
HAD ROCKS AND KNIVES LIKE THIS, I'D SAY LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL
PATENTED FILL. DOMINION DIDN'T DO THAT, THEY'RE
SUING PEOPLE ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE SAYING THEY HAVE ROCKS AND KNIFES IN THEIR
VOTING MACHINES, THEY'RE SAYING, NO, WE DON'T.
>> THEY DON'T SHOW THEIR MACHINES, THAT'S THE THING.
THEY'RE TRYING TO STOP ‐‐
>> Jimmy: THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT HAS ‐‐ I MEAN, EVERY ‐‐
>> NO, THEY DIDN'T HAVE THIS EVIDENCE UNTIL JANUARY 9th.
>> Jimmy: AND YET ‐‐ BUT THEY HAVE THIS EVIDENCE NOW, YOU SAY?
>> NO. WE'RE BRINGING IT ALL TO THE
SUPREME COURT. THIS WILL ALL GET THERE.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE SAID REPEATEDLY THAT YOU'RE BRINGING
THIS EVIDENCE. AND I ASSUME YOU HAVEN'T SEEN
THIS EVIDENCE?
>> I'VE SEEN IT OR I WOULDN'T ‐‐
>> Jimmy: WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG IF THIS IS SUCH A SERIOUS
THING?
>> WAY DON'T ‐‐ AS YOU'VE SEEN IN ABSOLUTE INTERFERENCE, THE
NEW ONE, IT'S A CYBER ‐‐ A WHITE HAT HACKER THAT WORKS FOR THE
GOVERNMENT, ONE OF THE BEST IN THE WORLD.
WHEN OUR COUNTRY'S ATTACKED THESE ARE THE GUYS THAT GO IN
FOR THE CYBER ATTACKS AND CHECK IT OUT OUT AND VALIDATE IT.
I HIRED THEM TO VALIDATE THE EVIDENCE THAT I HAVE THAT THESE
GUYS BROUGHT ME OVER HERE. S. THE ONLY REASON I HAVE THE
EVIDENCE IS I BECAME A VOICE AFTER JANUARY 9th, WE TRIED TO
GET THIS OUT THERE, AND NOBODY HAD ‐‐
>> Jimmy: DO YOU EVER THINK IT'S WEIRD, OBJECTIVELY, LOOKING AT
YOURSELF, GOING, WHY IS IT THAT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE COUNTRY
WHO HAS THIS EVIDENCE IS A GUY WHO SELLS PILLOWS ON CABLE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I BRING IT BACK TO WHEN I WAS O YOUR SHOW HERE, 2014, THE
FORREST GUMP THING, I DON'T KNOW.
>> Jimmy: YOU THINK I KNOW. I CAN SEE HOW THAT WOULD BE IN
YOUR HEAD, HONESTLY. LET'S SHOW THAT PICTURE.
WEIRDLY, IT'S A COINCIDENCE, YOU WERE HERE WITH BOB SEGER.
>> YES. I TOOK A PICTURE, YOU KNOW, AND
I'M GOING, MY FRIENDS THAT WENT ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YOU TOOK A PICTURE OF ME, THERE YOU GO.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> MY FRIENDS ARE GOING WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON STAGE WITH JIMMY
KIMMEL?
>> Jimmy: THIS ACTUALLY I THINK PLAYS INTO WHAT WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT. . YOU'RE WORTH MANY MILLIONS OF
DOLLARS, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH MONEY YOU'RE WORTH.
>> I GIVE IT ALL TO CHARITY.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, WHATEVER YOU DO WITH IT, WHATEVER YOU DO WITH IT.
I CAN SEE HOW YOU WOULD THINK, WELL THERE MUST BE SOME DIVINE
INTERVENTION HERE.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Jimmy: HOW DID A PERSON WHO WAS IN A MOTEL ROOM BUYING CRACK
AND GAMBLING AND WAY FROM HIS FAMILY AND ALL THESE THINGS, HOW
DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME? I MUST BE SPECIAL.
BUT I'M GOING TO SUGGEST TO YOU THAT MAYBE IT'S A COINCIDENCE.
AND THAT MAYBE THIS INFORMATION THAT YOU HAVE THAT YOU BELIEVE
IN, LET'S BE HONEST, YOUR WEBSITE DOESN'T EVEN REALLY WORK
SO WELL. WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT YOU
HAVE BROKEN THIS CODE, OF ALL PEOPLE?
>> IT WASN'T ME THAT BROKE IT, THEY BROUGHT IT TO ME ‐‐
>> Jimmy: BUT THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT ‐‐
>> THE ONLY REASON IS I HAVE THE VOICE ‐‐.
>> Jimmy: I WORRY ABOUT YOU, I WORRY THAT YU ARE
SELF‐DESTRUCTIVE, THAT YOU HAVE LOST EVERYTHING REPEATEDLY SO
MANY TIMES IN YOUR LIFE. YOU'VE HAD A BAR, ALL OF THESE
THINGS, YOU KNOW THE STORY.
>> YEAH, I LIVED IT.
>> Jimmy: MAYBE ‐‐ NOW I FEEL LIKE WE'RE GOING TO ‐‐ YOU'RE
GOING TO BE OUT DRESSED AS SPIDER‐MAN ON HOLLYWOOD
BOULEVARD AT THE END OF THIS WHOLE THING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
DOMINION IS SUING YOU FOR $1.3 BILLION ‐‐
>> YOU'VE GOT TO REALIZE MYPILLOW COUNTER SUED THEM, ALAN
DERSHOWITZ, THAT WILL BE THE BIGGEST LAWSUIT, THE MOST
IMPORTANT IN HISTORY ‐‐
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, WE'LL SEE HOW IT TURNS OUT.
>> THE RIGHT FOR FREE SPEECH.
>> Jimmy: FOR ONE OF YOU THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK OUT WELL, FOR
THEM OR YOU ‐‐
>> THE LAWSUITS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, NO
MATTER WHO YOU ARE IN THIS COUNTRY, I'M NOT JUST SOME
PERSON THAT DECIDES, HEY, I WANT ‐‐ YOUR PRODUCER ASKED ME,
THEY WANT, MIKE WORK, YOU HAVE DONE IT IF IT WAS REVERSED?
KNOWING WHAT I HAVE NOW, IF THEY WOULD HAVE PUT DONALD TRUMP BACK
IN DECEMBER 14th, KNOWING WHAT I HAVE NOW, I WOULD STILL BE
SOUNDING THE ALARM GOING, THESE MACHINES, THEY WERE HACKED, WE
HAVE TO DO SOMETHING IN OUR COUNTRY ‐‐
>> Jimmy: I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE SINCERE.
I ALSO THINK THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON FROM THE CRACK OR
SOMETHING, WHATEVER, THAT HAS MADE YOU THINK THAT ‐‐ I MEAN,
YOU MENTIONED PARANOIA.
>> WHAT MADE ME THINK IT, WHAT MADE ME DO THIS, JUST LIKE WHEN
I MET DONALD TRUMP ON AUGUST 15th, 2016.
I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT POLITICS BUT I MET THIS MAN THAT
HAD PROBLEM, SOLUTION, AND HE KNEW WHAT THEY MANIFEST TO.
I WENT OUT, TALKED TO HIS EMPLOYEES, WOW, THIS GUY COULD
BE THE GREATEST PRESIDENT EVER. I TALKED TO HIS EMPLOYEES, EVERY
ONE OF THEM SAID THE SAME THING. I WENT BACK TO MINNESOTA, I DID
A PRESS RELEASE TO THE PRESS, I WAS THE MEDIA'S DARLING.
I MET HIM, DIDN'T TELL THEM WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT I WAS ATTACKED
LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN. THEY CALLED ME A RACIST, THEY
CALLED ME EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE.
I THOUGHT THEY WERE REAL PEOPLE. I'M GOING, WHAT DID I DO?
I JUST SAID I MET THIS GUY. I HAD NOT BEEN INTO POLITICS.
I GOT BEHIND A PERSON THAT I ‐‐ KEPT HIS PROMISES. I VETTED HIM.
I'M NOT GOING TO CHANGE ON SOMETHING I HAVE THAT I VETTED.
IF I DIDN'T HAVE THIS EVIDENCE, IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT.
BUT I HAVE IT. IT'S REAL. SO PEOPLE CAN SAY, YOU'RE AN
EX‐CRACK ADDICT SO YOUR BRAIN'S NOT BRIGHT.
THEY CAN SAY ALL THEY WANT. IT'S GOING TO COME OUT.
I KEEP PUTTING THE EVIDENCE OUT. IT'S GOING TO COME OUT.
MARICOPA COUNTY, THEY'RE TRYING TO STOP, AS WE SPEAK ‐‐
>> Jimmy: I KNOW, THAT'S A RIDICULOUS OPERATION GOING ON
THERE.
>> ALL WE NEED IS TO LOOK AT THE MACHINES.
IF THERE'S NOTHING TO HIDE, WHY WON'T THEY LET THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE LOOK AT THEM?
>> Jimmy: IT'S NOT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, IT'S SOME COMPANY FROM
FLORIDA THAT HAS A GUY WHO'S SPREAD CONSPIRACY THEORYS IN THE
PAST, IT'S NOT AN UNBIASED COMPANY.
>> IF I WAS DOUGH MINUTE YAN, I WOULD HAVE SAID IN THE BEGINNING
WHEN THIS EVIDENCE CAME OUT JANUARY 9th, LOOK AT EVERYBOD.
>> Jimmy: FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AT THE TIME WAS RUN BY PEOPLE WHO
WERE APPOINTED BY THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION ‐‐
>> DOMINION ‐‐
>> Jimmy: THEY'RE SAYING IT'S THE MOST SECURE ELECTION WE'VE
EVER HAD ‐‐
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> THE SAME GUY, CHRIS KREBS SAID THAT, DO YOU KNOW THREE
WEEKS AGO CHRIS KREBS AND ADAM SCHIFF WERE ON "MORNING JOE,"
THEY ASKED HIM WHAT'S THE BIGGEST THREAT TO OUR COUNTRY,
THEY SAID A CHINA CYBER ATTACK FROM CHINA, DOWN TO LOCAL
RACIST, CHRIS KREBS SAID THAT ‐‐
>> Jimmy: THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.
>> HE SAID IT WAS A SECURE JANUARY 9th, THIS WAS AFTER IS,‐
THIS.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO SAY ONE THING REAL QUICK.
I DON'T WANT ANYBODY TO GET THE WRONG IDEA HERE.
WE'RE GOING TO ‐‐ WE HAVE LIMITED TIME ON THIS SHOW.
WE'LL PUT THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION ON YOUTUBE SO
PEOPLE CAN SEE THE WHOLE THING.
>> RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: I NEED TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK.
MIKE LINDELL IS HERE WITH US. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: WE'RE BACK WITH MIKE LINDELL.
MUSIC FROM TOM JONES IS ON THE WAY.
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR RAZZIE AWARDS.
>> YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THAT.
>> Jimmy: YOU WON WORST PICTURE AND WORST ACTOR.
HAVE THEY SENT THE TROPHIES TO
>> NO, THEY DIDN'T. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WON BUT I
GUESS IT'S AN HONOR.
>> Jimmy: I GUESS SO. YOUR FRIEND RUDY GIULIANI WAS
ALSO THE RECIPIENT OF A RAZZIE AWARD FOR WORST SUPPORTING
ACTOR, I BELIEVE. HE GOT RAIDED BY THE FEDS TODAY.
IS HE SOMEBODY YOU ARE IN TOUCH WITH?
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: NO. IS DONALD TRUMP SMBS OMEBODY YOE
IN TOUCH WITH?
>> I TALK TO HIM EVERY MONTH OR SO WHEN I'M DONE THERE.
>> Jimmy: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SPOKE WITH HIM?
>> A COUPLE OF WEEKS, I GUESS, WHEN HE SAID HE WAS WORRIED
ABOUT WHAT'S GOING DOWN AT THE BORDER.
>> Jimmy: HE CALLED YOU TO TELL YOU HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT THAT?
>> NO, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.
>> Jimmy: TELL ME ABOUT THAT MEETING, WHEN YOU WENT INTO HIS
OFFICE IN THE HEAT OF ALL THIS CRAZINESS GOING ON. THERE'S YOU.
YOU'RE AT THE WHITE HOUSE. AND LET'S ZOOM IN ON ‐‐ A LOT
HAS BEEN MADE OF THIS.
>> RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: THIS WAS ‐‐ IT SAYS, MARTIAL LAW IF NECESSARY ON THE
DOCUMENTS THAT YOU HAD.
>> RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: YOU SAY THOSE WERE NOT YOUR PAPERS.
>> NO, THEY WEREN'T. I HAD FOUR PAPERS AT THE
EVIDENCE, AND THESE LAWYERS, A WHOLE TEAM OF LAWYERS, LIKE 23
LAWYERS, THEY HAD GIVEN ME TWO PIECES OF PAPER THAT SAID, IF
YOU GET A MEETING, GO AHEAD AND DELIVER THIS.
>> Jimmy: HAD YOU READ THAT?
>> NO, I HAD NOT EVEN READ IT.
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE THEIR PAPER MULE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I DELIVERED THIS, I SAID TO HIM, HERE THIS CAME FROM A
LAWYER. THERE WAS ROBERT O'BRIEN, NATIONAL SECURITY, A COUPLE OF
OTHER PEOPLE. THEY READ THE FIRST LINE AFTER
WE HAD TALKED ABOUT THE EVIDENCE, HE SAID, BRING THESE
UPSTAIRS.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU DISCUSS MARTIAL LAW ‐‐
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: WITH THE PRESIDENT?
>> NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE THERE FOR WHAT REASONS?
>> TO BRING IN THE EVIDENCE ABOUT THE MACHINES AND THE
ATTACK ON OUR COUNTRY.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DID HIS PEOPLE DO WITH THIS EVIDENCE?
IT SEEMS LIKE THAT'S SOMETHING HE'D BE VERY INTERESTED IN.
>> THEY TOOK ME ‐‐ I SAID, HERE, THESE ARE FROM A COUPLE LAWYERS.
AND HE ‐‐ BUT I SHOWED HIM THIS, I SAID, THESE ARE THINGS THAT ‐‐
CYBER ATTACKS, LONGITUDE, LATITUDE, MACHINES, ATTACK BY
CHINA.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND THIS STUFF?
>> YES. ABSOLUTELY.
>> Jimmy: LIKE WHAT DOES THE ‐‐ DO YOU KNOW WHAT AN IP ADDRESS
IS?
>> YEAH, IP, THEN WE HAVE THE I.D.s ‐‐ NOW WE ‐‐
>> Jimmy: WHAT DOES IP STAND FOR?
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT STAND FOR.
>> Jimmy: SEE, I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT IP STANDS FOR
IF YOU HAVE EVIDENCE ‐‐
>> IT'S WHERE THE COMPUTERS ARE AT. WHEREVER THE IP ADDRESS IS.
OF THE COMPUTERS. I MEAN, I ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT AN EXPERT WHEN IT COMES TO THIS STUFF?
>> I DON'T HAVE TO BE. I DON'T HAVE TO BE AN EXPERT, I
KNOW THAT THEY KNOW ‐‐ WHEN I TALK TO THE GUY THAT VALIDATED
IT ‐‐
>> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE A HOTMAIL ADDRESS? BE HONEST.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO, I DO NOT.
>> Jimmy: YOU DONATED $50,000 TO A LEGAL FUND THAT WAS USED TO
BAIL OUT THE ‐‐ AS THEY CALL HIM, THE KENOSHA SHOOTER THIS
KID WHO ‐‐
>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.
>> Jimmy: ‐‐ HAD THE ASSAULT RIFLE?
>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S NOT TRUE?
>> I GAVE MONEY TO A LYNN WOODS FOUNDATION, HE DID STUFF WITH
MANY DIFFERENT.
>> Jimmy: YOU DID NOT ‐‐
>> HE HAS ALL KINDS OF STUFF, ALL KINDS OF DIFFERENT THINGS HE
WAS ‐‐
>> Jimmy: WHEN YOU FOUND OUT HE WAS USING MONEY TO BAIL THIS KID
OUT DID YOU ASK FOR THAT MONEY BACK?
>> I DIDN'T KNOW HE USED IT FOR THAT, HE USED IT FOR ‐‐
>> Jimmy: ONCE YOU FOUND OUT ‐‐
>> HE USED IT FOR ELECTION FRAUD.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD YOU?
>> THAT WAS ON HIS WEBSITE. THE NEWS GRABS IT, YOU GAVE
MONEY TO LYNN WOOD, THEY DIDN'T CHECK IT OUT, MORE FAKE NEWS,
THEY COME OUT THERE, LEAD STORIES ‐‐ HE DECIDES WHAT'S
TRUE OR NOT IN THIS COUNTRY.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU BELIEVE IN BIGFOOT?
>> I DON'T KNOW, PROBABLY NOT. I HAVEN'T SEEN IT, YOU I NO I.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU PLANNING TO RUN FOR GOVERNOR OF MINNESOTA?
>> I WOULDN'T RUN TO BE A DOG CATCHER RIGHT NOW ‐‐
>> STOP THE PRESSES, STOP THE PRESSES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU GOT THIS GUY OUT THERE, THIS IS A FRAUD.
THIS IS NOT THE MAN ‐‐
>> Jimmy: OH MY GOODNESS.
>> GET THIS GUY SOME BLUE SHIRTS.
>> HOLD ON A SECOND, I'M AS COMFORTABLE IN MY PAJAMAS AS I
AM IN A BLEEDI IING BANDAGE ON OF MY HEAD.
THIS GUY IS CLAIMING TO BE ME, THAT'S AN IMPOSTER.
FIRST THEY WENT FOR THE PHONES. FIRST THEY WENT FOR OUR PHONES,
NOW THEY'RE SENDING IN CLONES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
LOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT HIM.
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS WHICH, I'M CONFUSED.
>> I CHALLENGE YOU TO A PILLOW FIGHT AT THE MINNESOTA STATE
FAIR THIS SUMMER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT.
>> THE CHINESE ARE SO CLOSE, THE CHINESE THEATER ACROSS THE
STREET!
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. MIKE LINDELL, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH TOM JONES!
>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS
PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: THIS MAN IS A LIVING LEGEND.
HIS NEW ALBUM "SURROUNDED BY TIME" WITH A COVER OF THE SONG
"NO HOLE IN MY HEAD," THE GREAT TOM JONES!
♪
♪ EVERYBODY THINKS MY HEAD'S
FULL OF NOTHING THEY WANNA PUT THEIR
OWN SPECIAL STUFF IN ♪
♪ FILL UP THE SPACE
WITH CANDY WRAPPERS ♪
♪ KEEP OUT SEX
AND REVOLUTION BUT THERE'S NO HOLE IN MY HEAD ♪
♪ TOO BAD
THEY CALL ME A DUPE FOR THIS AND THE OTHER
CALL ME A PUPPET ♪
♪ ON A STRING
THEY DON'T KNOW MY HEAD'S FULL OF ME
AND THAT I HAVE MY OWN ♪
♪ SPECIAL THING
AND THERE'S NO HOLE IN MY HEAD TOO BAD ♪
♪ I HAVE LIVED
SINCE EARLY CHILDHOOD FIGURING OUT WHAT'S GOING ON ♪
♪ I KNOW WHAT HURTS
I KNOW WHAT'S EASY WHEN TO STAND AND WHEN TO RUN ♪
♪ BUT THERE'S NO HOLE
IN MY HEAD TOO BAD SO PLEASE STOP SHOUTING ♪
♪ IN MY EAR
THERE'S SOMETHING I WANNA LISTEN TO
THERE'S A KIND OF BIRDSONG ♪
♪ UP THERE SOMEWHERE
FEET WALKING WHEN I WANNA RUN BUT THERE'S NO HOLE ♪
♪ IN MY HEAD
TOO BAD EVERYBODY THINKS MY HEAD'S
FULL OF NOTHING ♪
♪ TRY TO PUT THEIR
OWN SPECIAL STUFF IN FILL UP THE SPACE
WITH CANDY WRAPPERS ♪
♪ KILL OUT SEX
AND REVOLUTION BUT THERE'S NO HOLE IN MY HEAD ♪
♪ TOO BAD
NO THERE'S NO HOLE IN MY HEAD TOO BAD ♪
♪ THERE'S NO HOLE
IN MY HEAD
TOO BAD ♪
♪
♪ YEAH WHOO
♪
>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS
PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ, THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK JUSTIN THEROUX, TOM JONES,
JAMES ADOMIAN, AND OF COURSE, MIKE LINDELL.
APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON, BOY, WHAT A NIGHT TO RUN OUT OF TIME
FOR HIM. TOMORROW NIGHT, MAYA RUDOLPH AND
MALCOLM GLADWELL, WITH MUSIC FROM KINGS OF LEON.
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.