>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD ‐‐ IT'S
"JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"!
TONIGHT, GAL GADOT.
ERIC ANDRE.
AND MUSIC FROM KALEO.
AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HI, THERE.
HI.
THANK YOU, I'M JIMMY, I'M THE
HOST OF THE SHOW.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING AT HOME.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR MANDATORY
APPLAUSE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
GIVE ME A MINUTE TO SOAK IT IN.
OH, THANK YOU.
BOY, I HAVE TO ADMIT, I'M TIRED.
AT 3:30 THIS MORNING, OUR SON
BILLY, WHO TURNED 4 YESTERDAY,
SCAMPERED INTO OUR ROOM.
HE SCAMPERS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE WAKES US UP.
AND SAYS TO MY WIFE, "MOM?
CAN YOU ASK SIRI IF TARANTULAS
BITE?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS WAS THREE HOURS BEFORE THE
SUN COMES UP, HE WANTS TO KNOW
IF TARANTULAS BITE.
SO WE PUT HIM BACK IN BED AND
THEN I START WONDERING, "DO
TARANTULAS BITE?
OR DO THEY STING?"
DO YOU KNOW, GUILLERMO?
>> Guillermo: I THINK THEY
MIGHT.
>> Jimmy: MY ONLY REFERENCE WAS
THIS SPIDER‐MAN COMIC I REMEMBER
FROM WHEN I WAS A KID.
ONE OF THE VILLAINS HE USED TO
FIGHT WAS THE TARANTULA.
HE WAS FROM SOUTH AMERICA.
HE HAD SPIKES ON HIS FEET.
SO I THOUGHT, WELL, MAYBE HE
STINGS.
SO THEN I HAD TO GET MY PHONE
AND LOOK IT UP.
TARANTULAS DO BITE.
THEY DO NOT STING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ANYWAY, POINT IS ‐‐ WE NEED TO
START LOCKING THE BEDROOM DOOR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
TODAY, BY THE WAY, WAS "TAKE
YOUR DAUGHTERS AND SONS TO WORK
DAY."
ALSO KNOWN AS "GIVE YOUR KIDS A
JUICEBOX AND AN iPAD SO I CAN
FINISH MY DAMN ZOOM MEETING"
DAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS DAY USUALLY IS A GREAT
OPPORTUNITY FOR CHILDREN TO
LEARN WHY MOMMY AND DADDY ARE SO
SAD ALL THE TIME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BECAUSE OF THE PANDEMIC, A LOT
OF PARENTS AREN'T GOING INTO
WORK.
THEY'RE WORKING REMOTELY, AND TO
HONOR THEIR STRUGGLE, TONIGHT,
WE PUT TOGETHER A LITTLE MONTAGE
OF MOMS AND DADS TRYING TO WORK
FROM HOME.
>> DAVID CAMERON WAS TALKING
ABOUT ‐‐ OH, I'M REALLY SORRY,
THAT'S MY SON ARRIVING, SORRY.
REALLY BAD, SORRY.
HOLD ON ONE SECOND.
SORRY.
>> WE'RE WAITING FOR THAT STORM
TO ARRIVE HERE IN SOUTHERN
CALIFORNIA ‐‐
>> THE SUPREME COURT AS THEY'VE
INDICATED, CLEARLY THAT'S FILED.
THEY'VE REFUSED TO INTERVENE.
AND ULTIMATELY NOW THOSE BALLOTS
ARE GOING TO BE COUNTED.
>> STARTING QUICKLY BY BREATHING
IN.
AND BREATHE OUT.
>> DOCTORS ARE WEIGHING INTO THE
CONVERSATION WITH ADVICE THEY
THINK IS IMPORTANT.
>> BOTH HANDS UP THIS TIME, PLUG
THEM UP AND IN.
>> YAY!
>> YAY, WE'VE GOT FRUIT SNACKS.
>> NEGATED THE FIVE OTHER
COUNTIES ‐‐ LEO ‐‐
>> A COMMERCIAL!
>> HI, LEO.
THAT'S YOUR SON LEO?
>> OKAY, GIRLS, HOW ABOUT YOU GO
RIGHT OVER THERE AND LET'S WATCH
DADDY DO HIS STUFF, OKAY?
>> AW!
>> LOVE YOU!
>> PLEASE, NO CRYING, NO CRYING.
>> YOU SAY IT'S GOING TO BE
SUNNY TODAY?
NO?
IT'S GOING TO BE HOT?
GOOD WORK.
>> ALL OF THEM ARE THINGS THAT
WE KNOW COULD HAPPEN BECAUSE
THEY HAVE HAPPENED BEFORE.
WE HAVE SEEN ELECTORS ‐‐
>> ALL RIGHT, COME OVER THIS
WAY, SWEETHEART.
66 WAS OUR HIGH TEMPERATURE.
>> HI!
>> NO, NO, YOU'VE GOT TO BE
QUIET WHEN DADDY'S TALKING.
>> OKAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WELL, IN OTHER WORDS,
GET YOUR SHOTS AND YOUR
VASECTOMY.
SPEAKING OF LITTLE SURPRISES ON
ZOOM, THIS IS VIDEO OF SOME KIND
OF A GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL IN
AZERBAIJAN WHO WAS ON A GROUP
VIDEO CALL AND DIDN'T KNOW IT.
[ SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE ]
>> Jimmy: WELL.
I THINK WE JUST FOUND THE NEXT
GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
OOPS!
TODAY, AS YOU MAY KNOW, IS ALSO
EARTH DAY.
EARTH DAY STARTED BACK IN THE
‘70S WITH VERY LOFTY GOALS AND
HAS KIND OF TURNED INTO, "GUYS,
PLEASE, JUST FOR ONE DAY TRY NOT
TO LIGHT GARBAGE ON OR NEAR A
PANDA BEAR, OKAY?"
HUMANS CELEBRATING EARTH DAY IS
LIKE FLEAS CELEBRATING DOG DAY.
THERE'S ACTUALLY SOMETHING TO
CELEBRATE TODAY, THOUGH.
PRESIDENT BIDEN, AND I'M STILL
NOT TIRED OF SAYING THAT,
ANNOUNCED THAT THE UNITED STATES
WILL CUT OUR CARBON EMISSIONS IN
HALF BY THE YEAR 2030.
WHICH IS HUGE, BECAUSE THE
SCIENCE IS ABSOLUTELY CLEAR THAT
IT'S NECESSARY TO AVOID A
WORLDWIDE CATASTROPHE.
NO ONE SHOULD BE AGAINST THIS.
SO NATURALLY, ALMOST EVERY
REPUBLICAN IS AGAINST THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OTHER COUNTRIES ARE CAUTIOUSLY
OPTIMISTIC.
THEY'RE LIKE, "OKAY, BUT LAST
YEAR, WEREN'T YOU THE GUYS
SAYING CLIMATE CHANGE ISN'T
REAL?
WHICH AMERICA ARE WE TALKING
TO?"
WE'RE LIKE DR. JEKYLL AND
MR. HYDE YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT EARTH REALLY IS AN
INCREDIBLE PLACE.
THERE ARE SO MANY AMAZING THINGS
FROM EARTH.
I MEAN, WE HAVE OCEANS AND
MOUNTAINS, AND SHAVING CREAM,
AND PINE CONES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE iPHONE.
WE'VE GOT MONKEYS.
WE'VE GOT CHOCOLATE‐COVERED
RAISINS.
RYAN GOSLING, RYAN REYNOLDS.
THE AURORA BOREALIS.
PENS ARE GOOD.
THE PROPERTY BROTHERS.
MAGIC JOHNSON, TENNIS RACKETS,
YOGA PANTS, POODLES, TACOS,
YARN, MARSHMALLOWS, AND MR. T.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I MEAN, THAT IS A DIVERSE
PORTFOLIO OF THINGS WE SHOULD BE
GRATEFUL FOR.
THE EARTH IS ALSO HOME TO THE
BURNING MAN FESTIVAL.
YOU KNOW THAT ONE WHERE THE
PEOPLE GO DO WEIRD STUFF IN THE
DESERT?
IT WAS CANCELED LAST YEAR DUE TO
COVID, BUT THEY'RE HOPING TO
BRING IT BACK IN AUGUST WITH ONE
POTENTIAL CAVEAT.
YOU MAY HAVE TO SHOW PROOF YOU
GOT THE VACCINE.
TO ENTER.
AND OF COURSE THAT HAS RESULTED
IN BACKLASH FROM PROSPECTIVE
ATTENDEES, SOME OF THEM ARE
ANGRY, THEY'RE COMPLAINING.
SO THE CEO OF BURNING MAN ISSUED
A STATEMENT SAYING, "THERE ARE
PLENTY OF PEOPLE THAT ARE
CHALLENGING WHETHER IT IS
NECESSARY, WE HEAR YOU, WE HEAR
YOU."
BUT WHAT WE'RE HEARING IS DUMB.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHY IS ANYONE TREATING THIS LIKE
IT'S A VALID POSITION TO TAKE?
IT MIGHT AS WELL BE, "I KNOW
THERE ARE THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T
BELIEVE IN COOKING, SO WE WILL
BE OFFERING RAW CHICKEN TO SOME
OF THE ATTENDEES."
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY DON'T WANT TO BE FORCED TO
PUT DRUGS IN THEIR BODIES.
THEY WANT TO JUST SHOW UP AND
PUT DRUGS IN THEIR BODIES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY, I
APPRECIATE IT.
SUNDAY, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW,
IS OSCAR NIGHT.
HERE ON ABC.
A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW.
BUT NOW YOU DO.
THE OSCARS IS THE NIGHT ON WHICH
THE FILM INDUSTRY HONORS ALL THE
GREAT MOVIES EVERYONE WATCHED ON
TV THIS YEAR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE CEREMONY WILL BE HELD AT
UNION STATION, WHICH IS OUR
TRAIN STATION DOWNTOWN.
AND THE GOVERNOR'S BALL WILL BE
HELD IN A SHIPPING CONTAINER IN
RECEDE DE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
GUILLERMO.
YOU WILL BE ON THE RAMPT?
>> Guillermo: THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: YOU GOT TESTED FOR
COVID?
>> Guillermo: YES.
>> Jimmy: YOU DO NOT HAVE IT?
>> Guillermo: NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: MAYBE INSTEAD OF SHOTS
OF TEQUILA, YOU GIVE OUT SHOTS
OF MOY CONCERN THAT THIS YEAR?
>> Guillermo: THAT'S A GREAT
IDEA, YES.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WE HAVE A TRADITION
THE WEEK BEFORE THE ACADEMY
AWARDS, WE ASK PEOPLE WHAT THEY
THOUGHT OF THE SHOW, EVEN THOUGH
THE SHOW HASN'T HAPPENED YET.
AND WE'VE DONE IT AGAIN WITH A
NEW BATCH OF FAKE NEWSERS IN A
BRAND NEW OSCAR EDITION OF "LIE
WITNESS NEWS."
>> WE'RE TALKING TO PEOPLE ABOUT
THE BIG OSCARS LAST NIGHT.
DID YOU THINK THEY WERE ABLE TO
PULL OFF THE SHOW IN THE
PANDEMIC?
>> HONESTLY, I ‐‐ I THINK THEY
DID THE BEST THAT THEY COULD
WITH WHAT THEY HAD AND THE
RESOURCES THAT WERE ALLOCATED.
I MEAN, THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH
THAT YOU CAN DO WITH A PANDEMIC
HAPPENING.
AND, LIKE, WHEN IN DOUBT, THE
SHOW MUST GO ON, RIGHT?
>> WHERE WERE YOU WATCHING THE
OSCARS LAST NIGHT?
>> UM ‐‐ ON MY COMPUTER.
WITH SOME OF MY FRIENDS.
WE DID LIKE A ZOOM THING.
WE WERE LIKE WATCHING IT
TOGETHER.
>> DID YOU GUYS HAVE A LITTLE
BETTING POOL TO SEE WHO GOT THE
MOST?
>> YEAH.
>> HOW DID YOU DO WITH YOURS?
>> YOU KNOW ‐‐ UM ‐‐ YOU WIN
SOME, YOU LOSE SOME.
SO ‐‐ YEAH.
BUT IT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
>> THERE WERE A LOT OF BIG
UPSETS LAST NIGHT.
>> YEAH.
THERE WERE.
WHICH IS, I MEAN ‐‐ SOME ARE A
SURPRISE, SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW,
YOU MIGHT SEE IT COMING.
THAT MIGHT BE THE DARK HORSE OF
THE NIGHT.
>> NOBODY THOUGHT "THE SALAD
SISTERS" WAS GOING TO WIN.
>> I MEAN, IT HAPPENS, YOU KNOW?
>> WERE YOU SURPRISED THAT MAURY
POVICH WON FOR HIS ROLE TELLING
ANTHONY HOPKINS THAT HE WAS THE
FATHER IN "THE FATHER"?
>> YES, I GREW UP WATCHING MAURY
POVICH, SO I THOUGHT IT WAS KIND
OF A LITTLE SILLY.
>> WERE YOU ROOTING FOR HIM?
>> I WAS HOPING THAT ANTHONY
HOPKINS WOULD WIN, BUT IT DID
SURPRISE ME THAT MAURY POVICH
WON.
>> THE BIG MOMENT, SONIC THE
HEDGEHOG GETTING UP TO ACCEPT
HIS BEST PICTURE AWARD, CALLING
FOR A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR ALL
THE LIVES LOST TO COVID.
DID THAT MOMENT TO YOU HAVE THE
EMOTIONAL IMPACT THAT SONIC WAS
GOING FOR?
>> NOT REALLY, BECAUSE I THINK
IT'S A BIT HARD TO GET THAT SAME
EFFECT WITH A CARTOON THAN AN
ANIMATED PICTURE.
I THINK THE IDEA WAS THERE, BUT
I THINK IT WAS DIFFICULT TO COME
ACROSS.
>> CYNTHIA, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
THE OSCARS.
YOU WERE WATCHING LAST NIGHT?
>> YES.
>> GLENN CLOSE GOT UP DURING HER
ACCEPTANCE SPEECH AND THANKED
SATAN.
WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION WHEN SHE
DID THAT?
>> IT'S NOT A TIME ‐‐ THERE
WASN'T A PLACE FOR IT.
PEOPLE HAVE THEIR OWN BELIEFS.
AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S WHAT THEY
FEEL.
BUT THIS VENUE WASN'T THE PLACE
FOR THAT.
>> NOT THE PLACE FOR SATAN?
>> NOT THE PLACE TO BE SPEAKING
OR THANKING SATAN, YOU KNOW.
I'M NOT GOING TO ‐‐ I'M TOTALLY
AGAINST SATAN, I'M TOTALLY
AGAINST EVERYTHING THAT HE
STANDS FOR.
>> OH.
>> BUT PEOPLE HAVE THEIR OWN
BELIEFS ON WHATEVER IT MAY BE.
THERE'S A TIME AND A PLACE FOR
THAT IN THEIR OWN PERSONAL
AREAS.
>> DID YOU GET EMOTIONAL WHEN
SAS
SACHA BARON COHEN BROUGHT RUDY
GIULIANI OUT AND HUGGED HIM ON
STAGE?
>> I THINK SASHA CHA BARON COHE
ALL OVER THE PLACE SOMETIMES.
TO DO THAT, IT DID PULL AT THE
HEARTSTRINGS A LITTLE BIT.
>> WHICH MOVIE WON BEST PICTURE
LAST NIGHT?
>> HEH.
I THINK I LOGGED OFF BEFORE,
LIKE, I FINISHED BECAUSE I WAS
SO EXTREMELY EXHAUSTED.
>> ALL YOUR FRIENDS STOPPED
WATCHING THEN TOO?
>> I THINK SO, WE LOGGED OFF AT
THE SAME TIME.
>> MAKES SENSE.
>> YEAH.
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK JEFFREY
EPSTEIN DID, HOW DID HE DO AS
HOST?
>> DID PRETTY GOOD WITH THAT.
I THINK HE TRIED TO BRING
EVERYONE TOGETHER.
HE TRIED TO THE FORGET AND ACT
LIKE WE'RE NOT WEARING FACE
MASKS, HE DID A GOOD JOB.
>> WHAT DID YOU THINK OF HIS
SINGING?
>> NOT A BIG FAN OF HIS SIGNING.
I'M MORE OF A MICHAEL JACKSON
PERSON, STUFF LIKE THAT.
>> SURE.
YOU LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON MORE
THAN JEFFREY EPSTEIN?
>> HE'S THE KING OF POP, YES.
I LIKE THE WAY HE SINGS.
>> WAS IT NICE JUST TO GET A
SENSE OF NORMALCY BACK?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A BIT OFF AND
A FEW THINGS HAPPENED, I THINK
IT WAS GREAT TO HAVE THE
COMMUNITY STILL COME TOGETHER
AND BE EXCITED ABOUT SHARING
SOMETHING.
>> AND IT'S GREAT JUST TO GET
PEOPLE BACK ON THE BOULEVARD AND
LYING ABOUT SEEING THE OSCARS
AGAIN, ISN'T IT?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, ALL.
I APPRECIATE YOUR CANDOR.
WE'VE GOT AN ALL‐STAR SHOW FOR
YOU TONIGHT.
ERIC ANDRE IS HERE.
WE HAVE MUSIC FROM KALEO.
AND WE'LL BE BACK WITH GAL
GADOT!
>> Jimmy: HI, THERE.
WELCOME BACK.
TONIGHT, FROM THE NEW ANIMATED
MOVIE, "THE MITCHELLS VS. THE
MACHINES," THE VERY FUNNY
ERIC ANDRE IS HERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THEN LATER, FROM REYKJAVIK,
ICELAND, THEIR NEW ALBUM COMES
OUT TOMORROW.
IT'S CALLED "SURFACE SOUNDS."
MUSIC FROM KALEO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WE HAVE A NICE LINEUP NEXT WEEK.
WE'VE GOT NEW SHOWS WITH
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER,
DAVE GROHL, MAYA RUDOLPH,
JUSTIN THEROUX,
MALCOLM GLADWELL, BILLY PORTER,
AND MR. MYPILLOW, MIKE LINDELL,
WILL BE HERE ON WEDNESDAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WITH MUSIC FROM THE FLAMING
LIPS, TOM JONES, AND KINGS OF
LEON.
SO PLEASE JOIN US FOR THAT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS
WONDER WOMAN, WHICH IS REALLY
THE ONLY CREDIT YOU NEED.
SHE ALSO HAS A NEW DOCUMENTARY
SERIES ABOUT REAL‐LIFE WOMEN OF
WONDER.
"IMPACT WITH GAL GADOT"
PREMIERES MONDAY ON NATIONAL
GEOGRAPHIC'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL.
PLEASE WELCOME GAL GADOT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HI, GAL, HOW ARE YOU?
>> HEY, JIMMY, I'M GOOD, HOW ARE
YOU?
>> Jimmy: GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU, I'M SENDING
YOU A BIG HUG FROM HERE.
>> Jimmy: I'VE BEEN PRACTICING
SAYING YOUR NAME, DID I DO IT
WELL?
>> I DIDN'T NOTICE, I'M SO
SORRY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THEN JUST
GO WITH YES.
>> I'M SLOW.
IT'S THE PREGNANCY.
I'M ALL SLOW.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE PREGNANT,
CONGRATULATIONS.
THIS IS REALLY ‐‐
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YOU'RE PRACTICING TO TAKE YOUR
KID TO WORKDAY THE OLD‐FASHIONED
WAY, AREN'T YOU?
>> BIG‐TIME.
>> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'RE HAVING ANOTHER GIRL,
RIGHT?
YOU HAVE TWO GIRLS, NOW ANOTHER
GIRL?
>> YEAH.
ANOTHER ONE.
THAT'S HOW WE ROLL.
>> Jimmy: HOW OLD ARE YOUR
DAUGHTERS, THE ONES THAT ARE OUT
NOW?
>> ELLA IS 9, HIGH YAS 4.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
SO, YOU KNOW, I WAS 9 YEARS OLD
WHEN MY LITTLE BROTHER WAS BORN.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE HAVING A
COMBINATION OF FELLOW
PARENT/SIBLING.
BUT DO THEY WANT TO KNOW HOW THE
BABY GOT IN THERE?
>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
OF COURSE.
I'M OUT OF MY HEAD THE WHOLE
SESSION WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH
MAYA.
MAYA IS NOW SUPER CURIOUS ABOUT,
HOW DID THE BABY GET IN THERE?
HOW IS SHE GOING TO COME OUT?
ALL OF THAT.
SO WE EXPLAINED THE PG WAY.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> YOU KNOW.
MOMMY AND DADDY HAD A BIG HUG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
DADDY PLANTED A SEED IN MOMMY'S
TUMMY.
ET CETERA, ET CETERA.
SO WE'RE DOING, YOU KNOW, THE
BIRDS AND BEES HOW WE KNOW IT.
>> Jimmy: I SEE.
THE HUG.
THE HUG IS AN INTERESTING WAY.
>> THE HUG.
REALLY BIG HUG.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW.
NOW THE GIRLS ARE WORRIED ABOUT
HUGGING DADDY?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO, BUT NOW I THOUGHT ABOUT
IT, THAT IF THEY'RE GOING TO
WATCH THIS INTERVIEW AND I JUST
SAID, I'M SENDING YOU A BIG HUG
FROM HERE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IF THEY'RE GOING TO BE WORRIED
ABOUT THAT.
>> Jimmy: WELL, YEAH, OKAY.
THEY'LL BE WORRIED, I'LL BE
THINKING OF IT FOR THE REST OF
THE WEEK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO, NO, NO, NO.
WE'RE FRIENDS.
>> Jimmy: SO ARE THEY EXCITED
OVERALL?
I IMAGINE THEY'RE EXCITED FOR A
LITTLE KID, RIGHT?
>> THEY'RE EXCITED.
AT THE BEGINNING, I DID NOT
EXPECT ‐‐ WE DID A WHOLE THING.
WE GOT THEM CUPCAKES AND WE GOT
A CUPCAKE FOR EACH MEMBER OF THE
FAMILY, INCLUDING THE DOG.
AND THEN THERE WAS ONE CUPCAKE
LEFT.
AND I TOLD THEM, DO YOU KNOW WHO
THIS CUPCAKE BELONGS TO?
THEN THEY WERE LIKE, WHOM?
THEY STARTED TO NAME OTHER
FAMILY MEMBERS.
THEN I SAID ‐‐ I DID THIS.
AND SHE WENT, NO!
>> Jimmy: OH, REALLY?
>> I WAS LIKE, WHAT?
BUT THEN SHE GOT USED TO THE
IDEA.
NOW SHE'S SUPER, SUPER EXCITED.
>> WHO ATE THE CUPCAKE, WHEN ALL
WAS SAID AND DONE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THE GIRLS.
THEY SHARED IT.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
THEN I TOLD MAYA, MAYA, DO YOU
KNOW WHAT MOM MIJAS IN HER
STOMACH?
MAYA SAID YES, A CUPCAKE.
A BABY.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS A WAY TO GET
THE CUPCAKE TO THE BABY, TO
SURE.
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?
BESIDES HUGGING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO IN
QUARANTINE, IN LOCKDOWN,
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT?
>> OH, MAN.
YOU KNOW.
THE USUAL STUFF.
WE COOKED A LOT.
>> Jimmy: I SEE.
>> TOO MUCH.
>> Jimmy: WHY DO YOU SAY TOO
MUCH?
>> PROBABLY TOO MUCH ‐‐ WHY DO I
SAY TOO MUCH?
I ACTUALLY ‐‐ SO I, YOU KNOW ‐‐
THE EARLY DAYS OF PANDEMIC WHEN
YOU START DRINKING MIMOSA OR
SANGRIA OR WHATEVER AT 11:00
A.M.?
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> SO I DID THAT.
THEN I DECIDED I'M GOING TO MAKE
A CABOT SALAD.
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT ONE WANTS TO
DO.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> I START TO CHOP THE THING, I
CHOPPED THE TOP OF MY FINGER.
>> Jimmy: I DID THAT TOO,
CHOPPED THE TOP OF MY FINGER
CUTTING PARMESAN CHEESE.
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY FEELING ‐‐
>> Jimmy: NO, I HAVE NO FEELING,
NONE AT ALL.
>> ME TOO.
ME TOO.
>> Jimmy: I TOUCH IT ALL THE
TIME, I'M OBSESSED WITH IT NOW.
>> ME TOO, I'M WAITING FOR IT TO
COME BACK.
IT'S NEVER THERE, YEAH.
ANYWAY, HE WENT TO THE CHOPPING
BOARD AND HE HELD THE FINGER.
>> Jimmy: HE DID?
>> THEN HE GETS SO DISGUSTED HE
THREW IT INTO THE GARBAGE.
>> Jimmy: NO, HE DID NOT!
WHAT?
YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY MORE KIDS
WITH HIM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I KNOW.
IT WAS TOO LATE, WE ALREADY HAD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WOW.
HE THREW YOUR FINGER DOWN THE
GARBAGE DISPOSAL?
DID HE TURN THE SWITCH ON TO
MAKE SURE?
>> THEN WE WERE BOTH LIKE, WHAT
ARE WE DOING?
YEAH, IT WAS A MESS, WE WERE A
MESS.
I STOPPED COOKING AND STOPPED
DRINKING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DID YOU GO TO THE
HOSPITAL FOR THE FINGER?
>> NO.
BECAUSE IT WAS IN THE GARBAGE
DISPOSAL.
THERE'S NOTHING TO SEW.
NEVER MIND.
IT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION.
I APOLOGIZE.
>> Jimmy: NO, NOT AT ALL, NOT AT
ALL.
>> I FEEL TOO COMFORTABLE WITH
YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I KNOW BACK HOME IN
ISRAEL, THEY'VE DONE A GREAT JOB
WITH COVID, RIGHT?
>> THEY HAVE.
>> Jimmy: THEY REALLY FIGURED IT
OUT ALMOST IMMEDIATELY.
WHY DO YOU THINK THEY FIGURED IT
OUT AND IT TOOK US SO LONG TO
FIGURE IT OUT?
>> UM, UM ‐‐ WELL ‐‐ I THINK IT
WAS MUCH MORE MANAGEABLE.
IN ISRAEL THERE'S 9 MILLION
PEOPLE, HERE THERE'S 350
MILLION.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, RIGHT, SURE,
YEAH.
>> A BIT OF A CHANGE.
BUT ALSO, YOU KNOW ‐‐ I THINK
THEY'VE DONE A REALLY GOOD JOB
AS FAR AS EXPLAINING, YOU KNOW,
HOW GOOD THE VACCINATION IS.
SO PEOPLE LITERALLY WENT AND
THEY FELT LIKE THEY WERE GETTING
HOLY WATER INJECTED INTO THEIR
ARM.
>> Jimmy: OH, REALLY?
>> WHICH IS PARTIALLY TRUE.
NOW THEY'RE HAVING THE TIME OF
THEIR LIFE, AND I'M SUPER PROUD
OF THEM, I'M JEALOUS.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU?
SO THEY ARE RUBBING IT IN,
SENDING YOU PICTURES OF WHAT A
GOOD TIME THEY'RE ALL HAVING
OVER THERE?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH.
>> WHATSAPP GROUPS, YEAH.
INDEPENDENCE DAY LAST WEEK.
THEY WERE ALL PARTYING AND
SENDING US VIDEO.
IT'S LIKE 2019 AGAIN.
LIKE COVID NEVER HAPPENED.
>> Jimmy: OH, REALLY?
WOW.
>> BUT IT'S AMAZING.
IT'S AMAZING ‐‐ I'M HAPPY FOR
THEM AND IT'S GREAT.
>> Jimmy: YES.
YES, I THINK YOU SOUND
CONVINCING, BUT NOT REALLY,
RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> JUST A BIT ‐‐ I JUST WANT TO
BE WITH THEM.
TO HAVE FUN WITH THEM AS WELL.
IT WILL HAPPEN.
>> Jimmy: YOU'LL GET THERE,
DON'T WORRY, EVENTUALLY.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A BREAK.
WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'RE GOING
TO SEE A MOMENT FROM YOUR NEW
SHOW "IMPACT WITH GAL GADOT."
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Dicky: PORTIONS OF "JIMMY
KIMMEL LIVE" ARE BROUGHT TO YOU
BY DR PEPPER ZERO SUGAR.
THE ZERO YOU DESERVE IS FINALLY
HERE.
♪
>> Jimmy: THAT IS FROM GAL
GADOT'S NEW DOCUMENTARY SERIES
"IMPACT" WHICH IS ON THE
NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC YOUTUBE
CHANNEL.
THAT WAS FROM BRAZIL, THAT SCENE
WE JUST SAW?
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: AND WHAT A
BEAUTIFUL ‐‐ REALLY, FIRST OF
ALL, THE SHOW IS ABSOLUTELY
BEAUTIFUL, BOTH VISUALLY AND THE
STORIES.
HOW DO YOU FIND THESE STORIES?
TELL US A LITTLE ABOUT THAT
STORY THAT WE JUST SAW.
STORIES? HOW DO YOU FIND THE ‐
YOU JUST NEED TO THROW A STONE
AND IT'S LITERALLY WHEREVER YOU
THROW IT, YOU'LL ALWAYS FIND AN
AMAZING, INSPIRING STORY LIKE
THAT.
BUT WE TOOK, YOU KNOW ‐‐ WE TOOK
THE BEST OF THE BEST OF THEM.
AND THIS ONE IS FOLLOWING TWENY,
A BALLER RENO FROM ONE OF THE
MOST DANGEROUS PLACES IN RIO.
AND SHE BASICALLY ESTABLISHED A
DANCING STUDIO, A DANCING
SCHOOL, FOR GIRLS IN THE
FAVELLAS THAT DOESN'T HAVE
ACCESS TO GO TO SCHOOLS OR
ANYTHING LIKE THAT, AND THEY'RE
CAUGHT IN THIS VICIOUS CIRCLE OF
GETTING PREGNANT AT A REALLY
EARLY AGE, HAVING A BOY WHO GOES
AND DEALS WITH DRUGS AND
CRITICISM AND STUFF LIKE THAT,
OR HAVING A GIRL THAT WILL GET
PREGNANT AGAIN, ET CETERA, ET
CETERA.
SHE GIVES THEM AN OUTLET TO
FOCUS ON, WHERE THEY CAN BE
EMPOWERED, WHERE THEY CAN, YOU
KNOW, ESTABLISH THEMSELVES AS A
DANCER, ET CETERA, ET CETERA.
AND IT'S AMAZING.
>> Jimmy: YOU SAY THESE ARE NOT
DIFFICULT TO FIND, THESE
STORIES?
>> WE WERE SUPER SURPRISED.
I THOUGHT AT THE BEGINNING WE
HAD A GLOBAL SHOW, ONE STORY WAS
IN THE MIDDLE EAST, ONE WAS IN
ASIA, ONE WAS IN EVERY DIFFERENT
CONTINENT BECAUSE I WANTED TO
SHOW THE CONNECTIVITY OF
HUMANKIND.
BUT THEN COVID STARTED.
SO WE DECIDED WE'RE GOING TO DO
A DOMESTIC SHOW FOR THE FIRST
SEASON.
AND I WAS WORRIED WE'RE NOT
GOING TO FIND ENOUGH STORIES.
AND I WAS AMAZED BY THE AMOUNT
OF STORIES THAT WE FOUND.
>> Jimmy: IT REALLY IS A LOVELY
THING TO DO.
I KNOW THAT YOU ‐‐ THERE'S GOING
TO BE A THIRD "WONDER WOMAN"
MOVIE AS WELL?
"WONDER WOMAN VERSUS GODZILLA,"
I BELIEVE.
THAT IS THE WORKING TITLE?
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> REALLY?
WHO TOLD YOU THAT?
>> Jimmy: I HAVE SOURCES AT
WARNER BROTHERS.
YEAH.
>> I'M NOT IN THIS WHATSAPP
GROUP, YOU KNOW BETTER THAN I
DO.
>> Jimmy: WHO WOULD WIN IN THAT
FIGHT, WONDER WOMAN VERSUS
GODZILLA?
I HAVE TO BELIEVE WONDER WOMAN,
YES?
>> YOU SAID THAT I WOULD SAY THE
SAME THING, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
THAT ROLE OBVIOUSLY CHANGED
YOUR‐.
MADE YOU A HUGE INTERNATIONAL
STAR.
DID YOU KEEP ANYTHING?
DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THE WONDER
WOMAN STUFF?
BECAUSE CHRIS HEMSWORTH HAS
STOLEN HAMMERS FROM THE SET OF
"THOR."
>> I DO.
I DO ACTUALLY HAVE ‐‐ I DON'T
HAVE CHRIS' AX, BUT I HAVE
THE ‐‐ THIS ONE.
>> Jimmy: OH, YOU HAVE THAT.
>> I HAVE THE HELMET.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS NICE.
IS THAT MADE OF REAL METAL?
OR IS IT PLASTIC PAINTED TO LOOK
LIKE METAL?
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> Jimmy: I THINK MASS TICK.
YEAH?
>> YOU'RE RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: OH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S LIKE EVERY CAR NOW, REALLY.
>> THOUGH IT LOOKS EXPENSIVE.
>> Jimmy: AND SO YOU GET TO KEEP
THAT FOREVER, YES?
DO YOU EVER PUT IT ON JUST TO
DELIGHT THE KIDS?
WHAT I'M REALLY GETTING AT IS,
WOULD YOU PUT ON IT TO DELIGHT
THESE KIDS HERE?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> OH, NOW?
SURE.
BUT IT'S TWO PIECES OF A THING.
>> Jimmy: OH, YOU AN NEED TO PUT
ONE ON.
WOW, LOOK AT THAT, YEAH, THAT'S
RIGHT.
THAT'S WONDER WOMAN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S WONDER WOMAN.
SHE'S PREGNANT AND SHE'S MISSING
THE TIP OF HER FINGER, BUT
OTHERWISE THAT'S HER, ALL RIGHT.
>> SHE'S OKAY, SHE'S THROUGH IT.
>> Jimmy: SHE'S DOING ALL RIGHT.
"IMPACT WITH GAL GADOT"
PREMIERES MONDAY ON NATIONAL
GEOGRAPHIC'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL.
CONGRATULATIONS, WE WISH YOU THE
BEST OF ELTH AND EVERYTHING.
BE RIGHT BACK WITH ERIC ANDRE,
SO STICK AROUND!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: ERIC ANDRE AND KALEO
OR THE WAY.
BUT FIRST, IT TOOK YEARS TO GET
IT RIGHT BUT DR PEPPER ZERO
SUGAR HAS FINALLY ARRIVED.
TO CELEBRATE, WE'RE GIVING AWAY
THE ZERO AWARD, A YEAR'S SUPPLY
OF DR PEPPER ZERO SUGAR, AND A
DR PEPPER BIRD HOUSE SOMEONE'S
AUNT SOLD ON THE INTERNET.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THREE CONTENDERS HAVE WAITED
MOMENT.HOLE LIVES FOR THIS
HERE'S JENCITA VARGAS, A
FRONTLINE WORKER WHOSE QUEST FOR
DR PEPPER LED TO HER REQUEST FOR
DR PEPPER FACE MASKS FOR FELLOW
NURSES.
LESLIE CROW, WHO COLLECTS DR
PEPPER MEMORABILIA AND THREW A
DR PEPPER‐THEMED PARTY FOR HER
UNBORN SON.
YOU'RE ALL DESERVING.
THE WINNER IS?
GUILLERMO, BRING THE ENVELOPE,
PLEASE.
THE WINNER IS ‐‐ LESLIE CROW!
CONGRATULATIONS, LESLIE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
LESLIE, TELL US, WHAT DOES THIS
VICTORY MEAN TO YOU?
>> OH MY GOD, Y'ALL JUST MADE MY
WHOLE ENTIRE YEAR.
AND I'M NOT GOING TO RUN OUT OF
DR PEPPER ANY TIME SOON.
>> Jimmy: OH, SORRY, LESLIE, WE
RAN OUT OF TIME.
AS YOU CAN HEAR THE SYMPHONY
ORCHESTRA.
GO CELEBRATE WITH A DR PEPPER
ZERO SUGAR.
ENJOY, PLEASE.
THANK YOU, LESLIE, AND
CONGRATULATIONS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Dicky: CONGRATULATIONS,
LESLIE.
ENJOY THAT DR PEPPER ZERO SUGAR.
ALL THE FLAVOR YOU DESERVE, NONE
OF THE SUGAR.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HI, THERE.
MUSIC FROM KALEO IS ON THE WAY.
LAST MONTH, OUR NEXT GUEST
EARNED THE NUMBER ONE SPOT ON
NETFLIX FOR BEING SEXUALLY
ASSAULTED BY A GORILLA IN HIS
CRAZY HIDDEN CAMERA MOVIE "BAD
TRIP."
THIS TIME, HE HAS IT EASIER IN
THE NEW ANIMATED MOVIE, "THE
MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES."
IT PREMIERES A WEEK FROM
TOMORROW ON NETFLIX.
PLEASE WELCOME ERIC ANDRE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> YEAH!
I'M HERE, Y'ALL!
COME ON!
>> Jimmy: THEY'VE HAD ENOUGH OF
HIM.
THEY'VE HAD ENOUGH OF BOTH OF
US.
>> HE'S WORKING HIS TITS OFF FOR
US.
WHAT CAN WE DO NOW IN CORONA?
WHEN DO HANDSHAKES COME BACK?
>> Jimmy: HERE'S THE THING.
WE HAVE TO PRETEND WE'RE NOT
SHAKING HANDS SO EVERYBODY
DOESN'T GO CRAZY.
BUT WE CAN SHAKE HANDS.
I GOT THE VACCINE.
>> I DON'T WANT TO SHAKE YOUR
HAND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OH, ALL RIGHT.
>> I'M GOING TO BE HONEST WITH
YOU.
I'M TERRIFIED.
NOT OF CORONA, OF WHATEVER OTHER
DISEASES ‐‐
>> Jimmy: THE REGULAR THINGS,
OKAY, THAT'S REASONABLE.
>> CONSUMPTION, BUBONIC PLAGUE?
PEOPLE STILL GET CONSUMPTION?
>> YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.
WENT TO PUBLIC SCHOOL, I DON'T
KNOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: BY THE WAY, I'M GLAD
YOU'RE IN A GOOD MOOD.
YOU HAD A REALLY BAD ‐‐
LITERALLY A BAD TRIP, DIDN'T
YOU?
>> DON'T GET ME STARTED, DON'T
GET ME STARTED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I WAS FOLLOWING YOU
ON ‐‐ I FOLLOW YOU ON TWITTER,
BUT I WAS LOOKING AT YOUR TWEETS
LAST NIGHT.
SOMETHING SEEMS TO BE HAPPENING.
>> YES.
SO I WAS FILMING IN CHARLESTON,
SOUTH CAROLINA.
NO DIRECT FLIGHTS.
I HAD TO CONNECT IN ATLANTA.
I'M IN THE ATLANTA AIRPORT.
DELTA LOUNGE.
DRINKI
DRINKING A PINA COLADA, ENJOYING
MYSELF.
AT THE GATE THEY SWIPE MY
TICKET, WELCOME ABOARD.
TWO COPS APPEAR.
TWO WHITE COPS ON THAT LITTLE
NARROW JETBRIDGE.
THEY WHIP OUT THEIR BADGE LIKE
"HAWAII 5‐0" STYLE.
"COME WITH ME!"
BUSINESS CLASS, THE ONLY BROWN
PERSON THERE, THEY'RE SINGLING
ME OUT.
SHE WHIPS OUT HER BADGE.
LIKE THE ROOKIE, THE YOUNGER OF
THE TWO COPS.
SHE STARTS INTERROGATING ME,
WHAT DRUGS DO YOU HAVE ON YOU?
ARE YOU TRANSPORTING CRYSTAL
METH TO LOS ANGELES?
LIKE I'M WALTER WHITE FROM
"BREAKING BAD."
[ LAUGHTER ]
CRAZY INTERROGATION.
I'M THINKING TSA AT FIRST, LIKE
WAIT, WHAT?
I STARTED GETTING NERVOUS.
THEY UNDO MY PINA COLADA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ANY BUZZ VANISHED.
I START PANICKING.
DID I HAVE A JOINT FROM TWO
COACHELLAS AGO AT THE BOTTOM OF
MY BAG?
SHE'S INTERROGATING ME, WHAT
DRUGS DO YOU HAVE?
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
RACIAL PROFILING, STOP AND
TRRIFIC?
IT WAS THE CLAYTON POINT P. D.
>> Jimmy: I'VE NEVER HEARD OF
BEING STOPPED ONCE YOU WERE ‐‐
>> AWKWARD JETBRIDGE WHERE
THERE'S NO ‐‐ PEOPLE ARE
AWKWARDLY SHAKING AROUND ME.
I'M SWEATING.
>> Jimmy: YOU'D GONE THROUGH
SECURITY?
>> I'D GONE THROUGH TSA, WENT
THROUGH TSA.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> SHE'S INTERROGATING ME.
SHE GOES, CAN I SEARCH YOUR
LUGGAGE?
AND I LOOKED UP AT THE OLDER COP
AND I WAS LIKE, CAN I SAY NO?
AND HE'S LIKE, YEAH, YOU CAN SAY
NO.
AND I WAS LIKE, WELL, THEN, NO!
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO, LIKE GET ME OUT OF HERE!
CLEARLY.
SO I GET ON THE PLANE.
I GET REALLY WOKE ON THE PLANE.
I'M ON THE PLANE WI‐FI, THE
PLANE TAKES OFF, I'M TWEETING AT
THE MAYOR OF ATLANTA, TWEETING
AT THE PLAN THAT P. D., TWEETING
AT JOE BIDEN, LIKE YOU NEED TO
TELL THE DCHL EA TO GET OFF MY
BACK!
I DON'T KNOW, CLAYTON COUNTY
POLICE.
TWEETING AT EVERYBODY THE WHOLE
FLIGHT, DRINKING VODKA TONICS,
GETTING MORE DRUNK AND ANGRY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND THEN THE MAYOR STARTS ‐‐ THE
MAYOR OF ATLANTA STARTS TWEETING
BACK AT ME.
>> Jimmy: I SAW THAT.
>> I'M LIKE, OH, I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT WAS GOING TO WORK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: MAYOR KEISHA LANCE
BOTTOMS.
THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW "BAD TRIP"
DID REALLY WELL.
SHE WROTE, SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT
YOUR EXPERIENCE, MY
UNDERSTANDING IS IT'S NOT
ATLANTA P. D. BUT ONE OF THE
OTHER AGENCIES WORKING IN THE
AIRPORT, WE ARE WORKING TO
CONFIRM.
>> YES.
IT WASN'T ATLANTA P. D.
IT'S LIKE THE NEIGHBORING ‐‐ THE
MORE BORING COUNTY NEXT DOOR,
CLAYTON COUNTY.
IT'S THEIR POLICE DEPARTMENT.
THEY'RE DOING LIKE OLD‐SCHOOL
GIULIANI STOP AND FRISK RACIAL
PROFILING.
IT HAPPENED TO MY OTHER BUDDY, A
BLACK COMEDIAN, TOO.
HE WAS LIKE, I WAS THE ONLY
BLACK PERSON ON THE JETBRIDGE
AND THEY STOPPED ME, AND THEY
UNDID MY WHOLE BACKPACK, THEY'RE
DOING LIKE '90s ERA MANHATTAN
BROWN PERSON. OF ANY BLACK OR ‐
>> Jimmy: THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHO
YOU WERE?
NO, I WAS MASKED UP.
>> Jimmy: I COULD SEE IF THEY
KNEW WHO YOU WERE, STOPPING TO
CHECK IF YOU HAD DRUGS, YES.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
SO THEY RELEASED YOU, THE
CLAYTON COUNTY POLICE RELEASED
AN INTERESTING RESPONSE.
>> YES, DO YOU HAVE THAT?
>> Jimmy: I HAVE IT.
>> I HAVE IT IN MY POCKET.
>> Jimmy: I'LL READ IT IF YOU
LIKE.
>> I PRINTED IT OUT, I'M
PREPARED.
I WANT YOU TO READ IT BUT I WANT
TO SHOW THE AMOUNT OF
PREPARATION, I PRINTED IT OUT
MYSELF.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THIS GUY HAS A PROPS DEPARTMENT.
I MEAN, THIS IS ABC, YOU GUYS
HAVE MONEY.
MY [ BLEEP ] PRINTER AT HOME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WAS LIKE, I'M HELPING JIMMY
OUT!
>> Jimmy: LOOK AT GOOD I HAVE
IT, YEAH.
>> IT'S LIKE A MENU AT A
WOLFGANG PUCK RESTAURANT, IT'S
BEAUTIFUL.
>> Jimmy: MY NAME ON THE BACK,
YEAH.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> DO YOU WANT MY [ BLEEP ]
PROP?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I LIKE YOURS
BETTER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> MY PRINTER'S RUNNING OUT OF
INK, TOO, SO EVERY OTHER LINE IS
MISSING.
>> Jimmy: THE TRUTH IS YOURS IS
EASIER TO READ.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: THE CLAYTON COUNTY
POLICE DEPARTMENT'S RESPONSE TO
ACTOR ERIC ANDRE'S CLAIMS OF
RACIAL PROFILING.
ON APRIL 21st THE CLAYTON COUNTY
POLICE DEPARTMENT MADE A
CONSENSUAL ENCOUNTER WITH A MALE
TRAVELER.
>> FIRST OF ALL, IT SOUNDS LIKE
WE'RE ABOUT TO HAVE SEX.
[ LAUGHTER ]
LIKE THEY MET ME IN A BATHROOM
AT A GAS STATION.
WE MADE LOVE.
WHILE GEORGE MICHAEL PLAYED IN
THE BACKGROUND.
BUT NO, IT WASN'T CONSENSUAL,
THEY WHIPPED OUT A BADGE, COME
WITH ME!
I'M LIKE, I'M NOT GOING TO GO,
NO!
AND RUN ONTO THE PLANE, SWAN
DIVE.
>> Jimmy: CONSENSUAL IN THE
BROADEST DEFINITION OF THE WORD?
>> BROADEST DEFINITION.
>> Jimmy: IDENTIFIED AS ERIC
ANDRE AS HE WAS PREPARED TO FLY
FROM THE ATLANTA AIRPORT.
MR. ANDRE CHOSE TO SPEAK WITH
INVESTIGATORS.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: DURING THE INITIAL
ENCOUNTER.
>> I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE, BUT
SURE.
>> Jimmy: DURING THE ENCOUNTER,
MR. ANDRE VOLUNTARILY PROVIDED
THE INVESTIGATORS INFORMATION AS
TO HIS TRAVEL PLANS.
>> I'LL GIVE THEM THAT, YEAH.
I TOLD THEM I WAS FILMING
SOMETHING.
>> Jimmy: MR. ANDRE VOLUNTARILY
CONSENTED TO A SEARCH OF HIS
LUGGAGE BUT THE INVESTIGATORS
CHOSE NOT TO DO SO.
>> NO.
THAT'S A LIE.
THAT'S A BOLD‐FACED LIE.
ALL THEY HAD TO DO WAS GO, HEY,
MAN, WE'RE SORRY, WE MESSED UP,
WE'RE DOING SOME RACIST SEARCHES
AND FRISK [ BLEEP ] AT THE
AIRPORT.
AND THEN OWN AND IT STOP DOING
IT.
WHY WOULD DELTA, WHICH HAS THEIR
HUB IN ATLANTA, WHY WOULD THEY
WANT THIS NEGATIVE PR?
WHY WOULD THE ATLANTA AIRPORT
WANT THIS NEGATIVE PR?
[ APPLAUSE ]
WHY WOULD THE CLAY DON'T COUNTY
TAXPAYERS WANT THEIR COPS TO DO
THIS?
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW THAT WE
CAN HOLD DELTA RESPONSIBLE FOR
THIS, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THEY
DON'T CONTROL THE POLICE.
>> BUT I DO WANT SOME FREQUENT
FLIER MILES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M TRYING TO ANGLE.
ANGLE THIS INTO SOMETHING.
>> Jimmy: I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET
YOU OFF YOUR ANGLE, ALL RIGHT.
>> YES, NO, I'M TRYING TO GET A
COUPLE FREE FLIGHTS TO PHOENIX.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: INVESTIGATORS
IDENTIFIED THERE WAS NO REASON
TO CONTINUE OUR CONVERSATION,
AND THEREFORE, TERMINATED THE
ENCOUNTER.
MR. ANDRE BOARDED THE PLANE
WITHOUT BEING DETAINED AND
CONTINUED ON HIS TRAVELS.
THE DEA AND THE ATLANTA POLICE
DEPARTMENT DID NOT ASSIST IN
THIS CONSENSUAL ENCOUNTER.
CONSENSUAL.
WEIRD TERMINOLOGY.
>> I KNOW, LIKE THEY WERE TRYING
TO DEEP TRENCH KISS ME OR
SOMETHING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT SUCKS.
>> IT TOTALLY SUCKS.
SO I'M LIKE, YOU KNOW ‐‐ IT'S
FUNNY.
I'M ANGRILY TWEETING THE WHOLE
FLIGHT.
WHEN I LAND, I GET TO L. A. X., I
GO TO BAGGAGE CLAIM, AND TMZ IS
THERE READY WITH THEIR CAMERA.
THAT'S FINE.
I TELL THEM THE WHOLE THING NO
PROBLEM.
AS I'M GETTING TO MY CAR, I'M SO
WOUND UP AND ANGRY.
I TURN TO THE TMZ GUY'S CAMERA
AND I GO, THE ONLY DRUG I HAD IN
MY BACKPACK WAS PROPECIA!
[ LAUGHTER ]
I SWEAR TO GOD HE GOES, "YOUR
HAIR LOOKS GREAT."
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WORKING, DEFINITELY
WORKING.
HOPEFULLY THEY WILL THINK TWICE
ABOUT THAT, THE NEXT TIME THAT
HAPPENS.
>> WHY ARE THEY RACIALLY
PROFILING?
PEOPLE IN THAT AWKWARD‐ASS
JETBRIDGE, WHY ARE THEY DOING
STOP AND FRISK ‐‐
>> Jimmy: ANYWHERE, YEAH.
>> YEAH, LIKE LEAVE ME ALONE,
YOU'RE NOT MAKING MY LIFE SAFER,
I DON'T KNOW WHOSE LIFE YOU'RE
MAKING SAFER.
STOP THE MURDERERS AND BURGLARS,
MAN.
[ APPLAUSE ]
I DIDN'T HAVE A DOOBIE ON ME.
>> Jimmy: I'LL GET YOU ONE.
IT SEEMS LIKE YOU COULD USE ONE,
YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS MOVIE.
BY THE WAY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I TALK TO A LOT OF PEOPLE,
AND A LOT OF PEOPLE LOVE "BAD
TRIP."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
REALLY TALK ABOUT IT A LOT,
MYSELF INCLUDED.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: SO THIS ONE, YOU'RE
WITH NETFLIX AGAIN, "THE
MITCHELLS VERSUS THE MACHINES,"
ABOUT ROBOTS TAKING OVER THE
WORLD.
NOT A TERRIBLE IDEA, SOUNDS
LIKE.
I THINK WE'D BE IN BETTER HANDS
WITH THE ROBOTS.
>> YOUR SET SO IS FANCY, I
LITERALLY HAD A MOMENT WHERE I
KICKED THIS COFFEE TABLE AND I
WAS LIKE, I SHOULD VENMO THEM
BACK FOR THE DAMAGE.
>> Jimmy: EVERYTHING'S FAKE,
NOTHING IS REAL.
>> CAN I HAVE ANOTHER CHOCOLATE?
YES ARE THE ROBOTS.
>> Jimmy: THE ROBOTS ARE TAKING
OVER THE WORLD.
>> THAT'S THE THING.
I WAS HAVING THE BEST ‐‐ DOING
VERY WELL, HAVING THE BEST WEEK
EVER.
GOT NOMINATED FOR AN MTV MOVIE
AWARD FOR "BAD TRIP."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS.
>> THEN THE FUZZ, MAN.
THE FUZZ KILLED MY BUZZ, DUDE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> DECRIMINALIZE ALL DRUGS.
AT LEAST DECRIMINALIZE
MUSHROOMS.
COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
NOBODY ‐‐ HAS ANYONE EVER HEARD,
HEY, MAN, YOU KNOW ABOUT FRED?
GOT A REALLY BAD MUSHROOM
PROBLEM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO ONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH
MUSHROOMS.
THERE'S NO MUSHROOM ADDICTION.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
FRED ARMISEN?
>> I'M TALKING ABOUT FRED
ARMISEN, HE'S HERE, HE'S ON
MUSHROOMS.
>> Jimmy: DANNY McBRIDE, MAYA
RUDOLPH, ABBI JACOBSON, OLIVIA
COLMAN, CHRISSY TEIGEN, AND YOU.
>> I DIDN'T KNOW THAT MANY ‐‐ I
HAD NO IDEA THOSE PEOPLE WERE IN
THE MOVIE, INCREDIBLE CAST.
>> Jimmy: THERE WASN'T A CAST
PARTY?
>> WHEN YOU DO AN ANIMATED
MOVIE, YOU STAND IN FRONT OF A
MICROPHONE FOR 90 MINUTES, GO
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, AND THREE
YEARS LATER YOU MEET THE CAST.
[ LAUGHTER ]
PACK THE RED CARPET.
THAT'S AN AMAZING CAST.
>> Jimmy: I HOPE ONE DAY YOU AND
THE CAST HAVE A NICE CONSENSUAL
ENCOUNTER TOGETHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THE MITCHELLS PR VERS
THE MACHINES PREMIERES A WEEK
FROM TOMORROW ON NETFLIX.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUSIC
FROM KALEO.
>> Dicky: THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE
CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY
MERCEDES‐BENZ.
THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Dicky: THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE
CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY
MERCEDES‐BENZ.
THE BEST OR NOTHING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THANKS TO GAL GADOT
AND ERIC ANDRE.
APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT, BUT FIRST,
I HOPE YOU DRESSED ACCORDINGLY,
BECAUSE WE ARE ABOUT TO
TRANSPORT YOU ALL THE WAY TO A
BOOKSTORE IN ICELAND.
THIS NEW ALBUM IS CALLED
"SURFACE SOUNDS."
WITH THE SONG, "BREAK MY BABY,"
KALEO!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
♪ SUN IS DOWN ON EAST SIDE
WHILE WE ALL TURN A BLIND EYE
YOU KNOW I'VE GOT YOUR BACK
BUT WOULD YOU EVER ♪
♪ DO THAT FOR ME?
YEAH FOR ME OH ♪
♪ FOR ME YEAH FOR ME
♪ BILLY BOY HE'S GIFTED
YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T DENY IT
DON'T LEAVE US EMPTY HANDED♪
♪ CAUSE YOU KNOW WE
DON'T DESERVE THAT FROM YOU
OH FROM YOU OH ♪
♪ FROM YOU OH YEAH FROM YOU
♪ I WANT TO BREAK MY BABY YOU
KNOW SHE LOVES TO BE ♪
♪ I WANT TO BREAK MY BABY
♪
♪ WHOA SON
♪ TAKE YOU IN AND SPIT YOU OUT
♪ YOU'RE ONLY WORTH HOW MUCH YOU
SELL ♪
♪ YOU'VE COME TOO FAR
WE BOTH AGREE
JUST GIVE THE PEOPLE
WHAT THEY NEED ♪
♪ WILL YOU TURN AWAY
OR WILL YOU TAKE MY PLACE
DOES IT START TO SHOW
NOW THAT THE PRESSURE IS ON ♪
♪ WILL THEY CALL MY NAME
WHEN IT ALL GOES UP IN FLAMES
WILL YOU BE BY MY SIDE ♪
♪ I WANT TO BREAK MY BABY
♪ YOU KNOW SHE LOVES TO
FAKE IT YEAH ♪
♪ I WANT TO BREAK MY BABY
♪
♪ WHOA BREAK IT DOWN OH SON
♪
♪ YES BREAK IT DOWN
♪
♪ WHOA YEAH WHOO WHOO WHOO
♪ WHOO WHOO BREAK MY BABY