1 00:00:00,943 --> 00:00:03,844 >> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"! TONIGHT, 2 00:00:03,844 --> 00:00:07,848 ELLEN DeGENERES, BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG, 3 00:00:07,848 --> 00:00:09,850 AND MUSIC FROM JIMMIE ALLEN AND BRAD PAISLEY, 4 00:00:09,850 --> 00:00:10,952 AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 5 00:00:10,952 --> 00:00:15,389 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 6 00:00:15,389 --> 00:00:16,824 >> Jimmy: HELLO, THERE. THANK YOU. 7 00:00:16,824 --> 00:00:18,959 I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. 8 00:00:18,959 --> 00:00:23,964 I APPRECIATE IT. AFTER AN EMOTIONAL DAY ON WHICH 9 00:00:23,964 --> 00:00:25,832 THREE GUILTY VERDICTS WERE READ IN MINNEAPOLIS AND THE UNITED 10 00:00:25,832 --> 00:00:26,499 STATES. 11 00:00:26,499 --> 00:00:28,602 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 12 00:00:28,602 --> 00:00:34,608 I THINK WE'RE ALL GRATEFUL THAT IT WENT THE WAY DID. 13 00:00:34,608 --> 00:00:38,378 IN THIS CASE, THE JURY MADE THE CORRECT DECISION, A UNANIMOUS 14 00:00:38,378 --> 00:00:40,547 DECISION, WHICH AS STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. 15 00:00:40,547 --> 00:00:43,550 AND I HOPE THE VERDICT ITSELF BRINGS COMFORT TO THE FAMILY OF 16 00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:47,320 GEORGE FLOYD AND ALL THOSE WHO MOURN HIS DEATH. 17 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:53,093 I ALSO WANT TO SAY, GOOD LUCK IN PRISON, DEREK, YOU'LL NEED IT. 18 00:00:53,093 --> 00:00:57,397 THAT'S RIGHT, I HOPE YOU'RE THERE FOR A VERY LONG TIME. 19 00:00:57,397 --> 00:00:58,279 TODAY ALSO HAPPENS TO BE APRIL 20th. 20 00:00:58,279 --> 00:01:01,815 THE DAY ON WHICH HITLER, KILLER MIKE,AND JOEY LAWRENCE WERE BORN. 21 00:01:01,815 --> 00:01:02,550 [ LAUGHTER ] 22 00:01:02,550 --> 00:01:05,152 JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, ASTROLOGY IS DUMB. 23 00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:05,653 IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. 24 00:01:05,653 --> 00:01:08,489 [ LAUGHTER ] 25 00:01:08,489 --> 00:01:12,126 4/20, OF COURSE, IS A HOLIDAY FOR POT SMOKERS AND POT EATERS 26 00:01:12,126 --> 00:01:15,362 WHO CELEBRATE 4/20 BY DOING PRETTY MUCH EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO 27 00:01:15,362 --> 00:01:15,695 EVERY DAY. 28 00:01:15,695 --> 00:01:20,434 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 29 00:01:20,434 --> 00:01:25,206 ON A SAD NOTE, IT'S OUR FIRST 4/20 WITHOUT WALTER MONDALE, SO 30 00:01:25,206 --> 00:01:25,639 THAT'S WEIRD, RIGHT? 31 00:01:25,639 --> 00:01:28,576 [ LAUGHTER ] 32 00:01:28,576 --> 00:01:31,512 YOU GUYS ARE HIGH, IS THAT WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW? 33 00:01:31,512 --> 00:01:31,845 [ LAUGHTER ] 34 00:01:31,845 --> 00:01:33,647 WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU ON THIS GREEN DAY. 35 00:01:33,647 --> 00:01:34,982 INCLUDING BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG FROM GREEN DAY. 36 00:01:34,982 --> 00:01:36,617 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 37 00:01:36,617 --> 00:01:38,452 AND ELLEN DeGENERES. 38 00:01:38,452 --> 00:01:42,990 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 39 00:01:42,990 --> 00:01:46,860 WHO IS ‐‐ I'M NOT SURE, I HEARD A RUMOR ELLEN'S BACKSTAGE STONED 40 00:01:46,860 --> 00:01:47,328 OUT OF HER MIND. 41 00:01:47,328 --> 00:01:48,362 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 42 00:01:48,362 --> 00:01:50,598 SHE'S HIDING UNDER A VERY WELL‐CHOSEN COUCH. 43 00:01:50,598 --> 00:01:54,602 [ LAUGHTER ] 44 00:01:54,602 --> 00:01:57,838 SPEAKING OF DRUGS, OUR NEW PILLOW PAL, MIKE LINDELL, WHAT A NIGHT 45 00:01:57,838 --> 00:01:58,272 LAST NIGHT WAS. 46 00:01:58,272 --> 00:02:01,041 [ APPLAUSE ] 47 00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:06,046 IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN FOLLOWING THIS, THE MYPILLOW GUY LAUNCHED 48 00:02:06,046 --> 00:02:08,082 A NEW SOCIAL MEDIA WEBSITE FOR PEOPLE LIKE HIM WHO ARE NO 49 00:02:08,082 --> 00:02:10,184 LONGER WELCOME ON TWITTER. HE STARTED IT OFF WITH A 48‐HOUR 50 00:02:10,184 --> 00:02:14,922 "FRANKATHON." WHICH WAS BASICALLY HIM 51 00:02:14,922 --> 00:02:16,423 PASSIONATELY RANTING FROM 8:00 IN THE MORNING UNTIL 11:00 AT 52 00:02:16,423 --> 00:02:18,759 NIGHT. HE CLAIMED THAT ALMOST 92 MILLION PEOPLE TUNED IN TO 53 00:02:18,759 --> 00:02:22,096 SEE THIS. 54 00:02:22,096 --> 00:02:25,132 >> MIKE LINDELL SAYS FOX WON'T LET HIM ON! 55 00:02:25,132 --> 00:02:28,369 NOBODY CARES ANYMORE ABOUT THE RUBBISH YOU WRITE, WHAT ABOUT MY 56 00:02:28,369 --> 00:02:31,805 FRIEND WHO LOST HIS GOOGLEMAPS BECAUSE HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT 57 00:02:31,805 --> 00:02:33,340 THE BORDER? WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO WRITE THAT 58 00:02:33,340 --> 00:02:37,177 STORY? WHY NOT? WHAT ARE THEY HIDING, AMERICA? 59 00:02:37,177 --> 00:02:40,748 WHAT ARE THEY HIDING, AMERICA? WHOA, EVERYBODY WALK LIKE THIS. 60 00:02:40,748 --> 00:02:43,751 DID YOU SEE ANY NUDITY IN PORTLAND? 61 00:02:43,751 --> 00:02:46,253 WHAT PART DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE? MIKE LINDELL IS A CHRISTIAN? 62 00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:52,126 YOU GUYS ARE COWARDS. YOU'RE DOKY. WHAT? 63 00:02:52,126 --> 00:02:56,196 RAH RAH RAH RAH, KILL HIS COMPANY, CRUSH, KILL, DESTROY! 64 00:02:56,196 --> 00:02:58,165 SORRY, I'M A LITTLE FIRED UP HERE. 65 00:02:58,165 --> 00:02:59,366 >> Jimmy: A LITTLE? 66 00:02:59,366 --> 00:03:01,068 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 67 00:03:01,068 --> 00:03:04,371 TAKE ONE SIP OF AN ENERGY DRINK, YOUR EYES ARE GOING TO POP OUT 68 00:03:04,371 --> 00:03:07,641 OF YOUR HEAD. THAT WENT ON LATE INTO THE NIGHT. 69 00:03:07,641 --> 00:03:10,311 I LOVE THAT HE OWNS A PILLOW COMPANY AND DOESN'T SEEM TO 70 00:03:10,311 --> 00:03:10,676 SLEEP. 71 00:03:10,676 --> 00:03:11,912 [ LAUGHTER ] 72 00:03:11,912 --> 00:03:13,047 IT'S LIKE POETRY. I HAVE TO ADMIT, I WAS GLUED TO 73 00:03:13,047 --> 00:03:14,048 THIS. I WANT THE FRANKATHON TO GO ON 74 00:03:14,048 --> 00:03:15,182 FOR A WEEK. MIKE LINDELL IS LIKE SAUL 75 00:03:15,182 --> 00:03:19,420 GOODMAN. "BETTER CALL SAUL." HE HAD A FUNNY SUPPORTING ROLE 76 00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:20,888 IN ONE OF THE MOST INCREDIBLE DRAMAS OF ALL TIME, BUT NOW THAT 77 00:03:20,888 --> 00:03:25,125 HE'S GOT HIS OWN SHOW YOU APPRECIATE WHAT A CHARACTER HE 78 00:03:25,125 --> 00:03:25,490 IS. 79 00:03:25,490 --> 00:03:26,026 [ LAUGHTER ] 80 00:03:26,026 --> 00:03:30,497 IT DIDN'T START OUT FRIENDLY. WHEN A STORY CAME OUT WITH A 81 00:03:30,497 --> 00:03:35,669 TRANSCRIPT OF MY MONOLOGUE LAST NIGHT,THEY RUSHED IT IN TO MIKE 82 00:03:35,669 --> 00:03:37,237 WHO READ MOST OF IT ALOUD. THAT WAS WEIRD. 83 00:03:37,237 --> 00:03:39,006 ME SITTING IN MY KITCHEN WHILE THE MYPILLOW GUY READS MY JOKES 84 00:03:39,006 --> 00:03:39,740 TO HIS SIDEKICK. 85 00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:42,776 [ LAUGHTER ] 86 00:03:42,776 --> 00:03:45,779 [ APPLAUSE ] 87 00:03:45,779 --> 00:03:48,182 AND HE'S GOING LIKE, I WONDER IF JIMMY IS WATCHING? 88 00:03:48,182 --> 00:03:48,682 YES, JIMMY WAS WATCHING. 89 00:03:48,682 --> 00:03:49,016 [ LAUGHTER ] 90 00:03:49,016 --> 00:03:51,752 HE TOLD SOME PEOPLE AT A RALLY HE WOULD PRAY FOR ME AND I 91 00:03:51,752 --> 00:03:55,189 WONDERED IF HE REALLY DID. 92 00:03:55,189 --> 00:03:58,692 >> WHAT DO WE GOT HERE? OH, HERE WE GO. 93 00:03:58,692 --> 00:04:04,365 OH, HO HO HO! 94 00:04:04,365 --> 00:04:09,903 JIMMY KIMMEL FIRES BACK AT MIKE LINDELL'S DELUSIONAL‐PALOOZA. 95 00:04:09,903 --> 00:04:13,741 HOW DID HE GET IT UP THAT FAST? WAY TO GO, JIMMY. 96 00:04:13,741 --> 00:04:17,277 JIMMY REPLIED, THANKS FOR ALL THE SHOUT‐OUTS, DO YOU THINK 97 00:04:17,277 --> 00:04:21,782 HE'S REALLY PRAYING FOR ME? YES, I AM, JIMMY, I REALLY AM. 98 00:04:21,782 --> 00:04:25,986 HONESTLY, WHEN HE SAYS HE IS PRAYERS BEFORE BED, HE'LL 99 00:04:25,986 --> 00:04:28,522 ACTUALLY NAME ME? I WON'T DENY IT, JIMMY. 100 00:04:28,522 --> 00:04:29,356 >> Jimmy: OKAY, GOOD, I'LL TAKE THAT. 101 00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:29,890 [ LAUGHTER ] 102 00:04:29,890 --> 00:04:32,826 EVEN THOUGH I KNOW WHEN HE PRAYS, GOD IS LIKE, "OKAY, OKAY, 103 00:04:32,826 --> 00:04:35,062 I GET IT, I GET IT, TOO LOUD!" 104 00:04:35,062 --> 00:04:36,263 [ LAUGHTER ] 105 00:04:36,263 --> 00:04:37,431 I LEARNED A LOT FROM MIKE LINDELL LAST NIGHT INCLUDING THE 106 00:04:37,431 --> 00:04:40,834 FACT THAT OUR PATHS HAVE CROSSED BEFORE. 107 00:04:40,834 --> 00:04:45,572 >> ON MY SHOW TOMORROW ‐‐ I WAS ACTUALLY ON STAGE WITH JIMMY 108 00:04:45,572 --> 00:04:49,009 KIMEL. A BOB SEGER CONCERT. HE WON'T REMEMBER ME. 109 00:04:49,009 --> 00:04:52,446 WE WERE FILMING 300 PEOPLE OUT FRONT, I WAS ON STAGE, JIMMY WAS 110 00:04:52,446 --> 00:04:55,416 SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME. A BIG COUNTRY SINGER. 111 00:04:55,416 --> 00:04:57,785 BACK THEN HE DIDN'T MIND ME, RIGHT? 112 00:04:57,785 --> 00:04:59,019 I DIDN'T MEAN NOTHING TO HIM THEN. 113 00:04:59,019 --> 00:05:01,121 GOOD ENOUGH TO COME ON HIS STAGE AND SIT THERE. 114 00:05:01,121 --> 00:05:04,224 NOW HE'S GOING TO TRY AND SEE IF JIMMY CALLS ME OUT. 115 00:05:04,224 --> 00:05:05,426 I GOT THE PICTURE. 116 00:05:05,426 --> 00:05:06,393 >> YOU GET THE PICTURE? 117 00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,829 >> WE'LL SEE IF JIMMY MAKES FUN OF THAT. 118 00:05:08,829 --> 00:05:12,166 I SHOULD PUT IT OUT THERE, ME AND JIMMY, CLOSE FRIENDS. 119 00:05:12,166 --> 00:05:12,933 HE INVITED YOU ON THE SHOW? 120 00:05:12,933 --> 00:05:14,435 >> HE DID, WHAT? 121 00:05:14,435 --> 00:05:14,768 [ LAUGHTER ] 122 00:05:14,768 --> 00:05:16,870 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 123 00:05:16,870 --> 00:05:19,339 >> Jimmy: OH, OUT OF THE THINGS HAVE CHANGED. 124 00:05:19,339 --> 00:05:22,843 I ACTUALLY ‐‐ I THINK HE'S RIGHT. I THINK WE WERE IN DETROIT. 125 00:05:22,843 --> 00:05:27,247 BUT AS I RECALL, IT WASN'T A BOB SEGER SHOW. 126 00:05:27,247 --> 00:05:30,451 IT WAS A KID ROCK CONCERT, BOB SEGER GOT ON STAGE AND DID A FEW 127 00:05:30,451 --> 00:05:32,553 SONGS. I WAS AT A CONCERT WITH KID ROCK 128 00:05:32,553 --> 00:05:33,754 AND MIKE LINDELL. LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT WOULD 129 00:05:33,754 --> 00:05:35,756 TURN OUT TO BE THE HOLY TRINITY OF TRUMP. 130 00:05:35,756 --> 00:05:39,993 [ LAUGHTER ] 131 00:05:39,993 --> 00:05:41,261 BUT ANYWAY, MIKE SEEMED PRETTY PSYCHED ABOUT MY INVITE. 132 00:05:41,261 --> 00:05:45,399 AND IT SEEMS LIKE IT'S PROBABLY GOING TO HAPPEN. 133 00:05:45,399 --> 00:05:48,335 >> HOLD ON, HOLD ON. HE INVITED LINDELL TO COME ON 134 00:05:48,335 --> 00:05:52,139 HIS SHOW IN PERSON FOR AN INTERVIEW, IN BED, SURROUNDED BY 135 00:05:52,139 --> 00:05:56,410 PILLOWS. JUST ME AND MIKE SNUGGLED UP 136 00:05:56,410 --> 00:05:59,279 SIDE BY SIDE. JIMMY, I'LL DO THAT, BUT NOT THE 137 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:04,818 GOOSE FEATHERS GOOSE FEATHERS ARE BAD FOR YOU. 138 00:06:04,818 --> 00:06:09,389 SERIOUSLY, YOUR CERVICAL NERVES. YOU NEED MYPILLOW'S PATENTED 139 00:06:09,389 --> 00:06:09,722 FILL. 140 00:06:09,722 --> 00:06:10,056 [ LAUGHTER ] 141 00:06:10,056 --> 00:06:11,225 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WELL I DON'T KNOW. 142 00:06:11,225 --> 00:06:15,596 WHO KNEW I WAS BEING CRIPPLED BY GOOSE FEATHERS? 143 00:06:15,596 --> 00:06:18,465 I'M GOING TO TRY TO MAKE THE WHOLE INTERVIEW ABOUT GEESE. 144 00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:21,735 >> I'LL TAKE YOU UP ON THAT, I WILL COME LIVE ON YOUR SHOW WITH 145 00:06:21,735 --> 00:06:25,038 ONE OF MY ‐‐ WHAT HAS HE GOT HERE, CALIFORNIA ‐‐ A CALIFORNIA 146 00:06:25,038 --> 00:06:27,274 KING. I WILL BRING IT THERE. THE BRAND‐NEW BED. 147 00:06:27,274 --> 00:06:31,245 WE'RE JUST LAUNCHING. I WILL ABSOLUTELY DO THAT. 148 00:06:31,245 --> 00:06:35,782 WE'LL BRING IN PILLOWS, YOU CAN KEEP THE PILLOWS. 149 00:06:35,782 --> 00:06:37,851 I'LL GIVE YOUR WHOLE AUDIENCE PILLOWS, JIMMY. 150 00:06:37,851 --> 00:06:38,352 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 151 00:06:38,352 --> 00:06:42,856 >> Jimmy: OH, OH. NOW YOU'RE AWAKE. OKAY. 152 00:06:42,856 --> 00:06:44,958 WE DON'T REALLY HAVE AN AUDIENCE, IT'S OUR STAFF HERE. 153 00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:48,762 BUT WHAT I WILL PULL OFF IS A DECORATIVE COVERLET SO WE CAN 154 00:06:48,762 --> 00:06:51,131 JUMP IN THAT BED TOGETHER. I'M EXCITED. 155 00:06:51,131 --> 00:06:58,205 I'M NOT EVEN SURE I BELIEVE HE'S REAL. I HAVEN'T SEEN MOST OF MY 156 00:06:58,205 --> 00:06:59,473 FRIENDS FOR 13 MONTHS, I'M GOING TO BE SPOONING WITH THE MYPILLOW 157 00:06:59,473 --> 00:07:00,073 GUY. 158 00:07:00,073 --> 00:07:02,609 [ LAUGHTER ] 159 00:07:02,609 --> 00:07:05,345 I MENTIONED 4/20, THAT IS BIG IN HOLLYWOOD. 160 00:07:05,345 --> 00:07:08,515 WE THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE FUN TO PLAY A GAME CALLED "WHO'S HIGH 161 00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:08,848 TONIGHT?" 162 00:07:08,848 --> 00:07:14,988 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 163 00:07:14,988 --> 00:07:17,558 IT'S A SIMPLE GAME. THREE PEDESTRIANS ON HOLLYWOOD 164 00:07:17,558 --> 00:07:19,092 BOULEVARD, THERE THEY ARE, SOCIALLY DISTANCED. 165 00:07:19,092 --> 00:07:23,297 WE'VE GOT THREE CONTESTANTS, ONE OF THEM IS HIGH, THE OTHER TWO 166 00:07:23,297 --> 00:07:25,999 ARE NOT. AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID. 167 00:07:25,999 --> 00:07:32,339 AND LET'S MEET OUR CONTESTANTS NOW. FIRST OFF WE HAVE SHAYLA. 168 00:07:32,339 --> 00:07:33,473 HI, SHAYLA. 169 00:07:33,473 --> 00:07:36,944 >> HI. 170 00:07:36,944 --> 00:07:38,612 >> Jimmy: WHERE ARE YOU FROM? 171 00:07:38,612 --> 00:07:38,946 >> MARYLAND. 172 00:07:38,946 --> 00:07:39,746 >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK? 173 00:07:39,746 --> 00:07:40,747 >> I'M NOT WORKING, I'M A COLLEGE STUDENT. 174 00:07:40,747 --> 00:07:41,748 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE ON SPRING BREAK RIGHT NOW? 175 00:07:41,748 --> 00:07:42,549 >> NO, I'M NOT. 176 00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:45,152 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE ON ZOOM SCHOOL OR WHAT? SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 177 00:07:45,152 --> 00:07:47,187 >> I'M ON ZOOM, ON ZOOM RIGHT NOW. 178 00:07:47,187 --> 00:07:47,821 >> Jimmy: WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR? 179 00:07:47,821 --> 00:07:48,922 >> BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION. 180 00:07:48,922 --> 00:07:52,526 >> Jimmy: OKAY. VERY GOOD. SHAYLA, CAN WE ZOOM IN ON 181 00:07:52,526 --> 00:07:55,762 SHAYLA'S EYES SO I CAN SEE ‐‐ THEY LOOK PRETTY CLEAR, OKAY, 182 00:07:55,762 --> 00:07:57,764 ALL RIGHT. LET'S MEET PEDESTRIAN NUMBER TWO 183 00:07:57,764 --> 00:08:00,801 IS? YOUR NAME IS EXCELLENCE? 184 00:08:00,801 --> 00:08:01,134 >> YES, SIR. 185 00:08:01,134 --> 00:08:01,702 [ LAUGHTER ] 186 00:08:01,702 --> 00:08:04,838 >> Jimmy: REALLY? 187 00:08:04,838 --> 00:08:05,238 [ APPLAUSE ] 188 00:08:05,238 --> 00:08:06,039 >> REALLY. 189 00:08:06,039 --> 00:08:08,008 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? 190 00:08:08,008 --> 00:08:09,309 >> JAY. JUST JAY. 191 00:08:09,309 --> 00:08:09,977 >> Jimmy: JAY? 192 00:08:09,977 --> 00:08:10,544 >> YEAH. 193 00:08:10,544 --> 00:08:12,312 >> Jimmy: JUST THE LETTER J.? 194 00:08:12,312 --> 00:08:14,281 >> YEAH, JUST A J., REALLY. 195 00:08:14,281 --> 00:08:17,618 >> Jimmy: SO WHAT, YOUR PARENTS FELT THEY'D USED UP TOO MANY 196 00:08:17,618 --> 00:08:22,255 LETTERS IN THE FIRST ONE AND WENT JUST WITH J.? 197 00:08:22,255 --> 00:08:22,589 [ LAUGHTER ] 198 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:23,090 >> OF COURSE, OF COURSE. 199 00:08:23,090 --> 00:08:26,893 >> Jimmy: EXCELLENCE J., WOW, THAT'S YOUR BIRTH NAME? 200 00:08:26,893 --> 00:08:27,894 >> YES. 201 00:08:27,894 --> 00:08:29,162 >> Jimmy: HOW. HOW ABOUT THAT. 202 00:08:29,162 --> 00:08:29,930 DO YOU HAVE SIBLINGS? 203 00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:31,031 >> UM ‐‐ YES. 204 00:08:31,031 --> 00:08:31,999 >> Jimmy: OKAY, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S HIGH. 205 00:08:31,999 --> 00:08:36,103 [ LAUGHTER ] 206 00:08:36,103 --> 00:08:36,436 [ APPLAUSE ] 207 00:08:36,436 --> 00:08:36,769 YES? 208 00:08:36,769 --> 00:08:37,304 >> THANK YOU, SIR, I AM NOT. 209 00:08:37,304 --> 00:08:41,775 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT? WELL. THEN YOU'VE GOT SOME EXPLAINING 210 00:08:41,775 --> 00:08:42,140 TO DO. 211 00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:44,811 [ LAUGHTER ] 212 00:08:44,811 --> 00:08:48,782 ALL RIGHT, AND LET'S MEET ASHLEY. ASHLEY? 213 00:08:48,782 --> 00:08:49,416 >> HI. 214 00:08:49,416 --> 00:08:53,720 >> Jimmy: HI, ASHLEY, WHERE ARE YOU FROM? 215 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:54,121 >> FROM MICHIGAN. 216 00:08:54,121 --> 00:08:55,489 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHIRT? 217 00:08:55,489 --> 00:09:02,396 >> THIS IS THE SHELBY COBROUG. 218 00:09:02,396 --> 00:09:04,398 >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK? 219 00:09:04,398 --> 00:09:06,366 >> STOCK SHELVES AT A HARDWARE STORE. 220 00:09:06,366 --> 00:09:08,602 >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE WEED BUS GOING BY BEHIND YOU. 221 00:09:08,602 --> 00:09:09,770 >> I CAN SMELL IT. 222 00:09:09,770 --> 00:09:10,103 [ LAUGHTER ] 223 00:09:10,103 --> 00:09:12,139 >> Jimmy: YOU CAN SMELL IT, OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 224 00:09:12,139 --> 00:09:15,075 IF YOU CAN STILL SMELL IT, THAT WOULD INDICATE TO ME THAT YOU'RE 225 00:09:15,075 --> 00:09:17,811 PROBABLY NOT THE ONE. WE LEARNED THAT EXCELLENCE ISN'T 226 00:09:17,811 --> 00:09:20,614 THE ONE. SO SHALE LA, I'M GOING TO SAY 227 00:09:20,614 --> 00:09:22,049 URLT ONE. ARE YOU THE ONE, SHAYLA? 228 00:09:22,049 --> 00:09:22,414 >> I AM. 229 00:09:22,414 --> 00:09:23,016 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 230 00:09:23,016 --> 00:09:26,153 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE HIGH. ON OUR SHOW. 231 00:09:26,153 --> 00:09:29,056 SHAYLA, WHAT DID YOU SMOKE TODAY? 232 00:09:29,056 --> 00:09:32,793 >> I SMOKED A JAY, PREROLL. 233 00:09:32,793 --> 00:09:33,960 >> Jimmy: J., THAT'S HIS MIDDLE NAME! 234 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,496 [ LAUGHTER ] 235 00:09:36,496 --> 00:09:38,298 ALL RIGHT. EXCELLENCE, LET'S MEET UP AFTER 236 00:09:38,298 --> 00:09:40,500 THE SHOW AND GO THROUGH YOUR LIFE, OKAY? 237 00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:40,834 [ LAUGHTER ] 238 00:09:40,834 --> 00:09:41,168 >> ALL RIGHT. 239 00:09:41,168 --> 00:09:44,271 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU ALL. WE HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU FOR 240 00:09:44,271 --> 00:09:49,109 PLAYING. PRIZES FOR EVERYONE. PHOTOGRAPHS OF SETH ROGEN, NOTED 241 00:09:49,109 --> 00:09:49,474 STONER. 242 00:09:49,474 --> 00:09:49,843 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 243 00:09:49,843 --> 00:09:54,214 THANKS FOR PLAYING "WHO'S HIGH?" WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 244 00:09:54,214 --> 00:09:56,216 TONIGHT. BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG FROM GREEN 245 00:09:56,216 --> 00:09:57,150 DAY IS WITH US. 246 00:09:57,150 --> 00:09:57,651 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 247 00:09:57,651 --> 00:10:01,655 WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM JIMMY ALLEN AND BRAD PAISLEY, AND BE RIGHT 248 00:10:01,655 --> 00:10:03,116 BACK WITH ELLEN DeGENERES, SO STICK AROUND! 249 00:10:03,116 --> 00:10:04,634 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 250 00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:13,820 ♪ 251 00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:14,846 >> Jimmy: HI, THERE. TONIGHT, HE IS THE LEAD SINGER 252 00:10:14,846 --> 00:10:17,515 OF THE BAND GREEN DAY, BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG IS WITH US. 253 00:10:17,515 --> 00:10:19,784 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 254 00:10:19,784 --> 00:10:24,088 THEN LATER, TWO COUNTRY MUSIC TITANS, ALL THE WAY FROM 255 00:10:24,088 --> 00:10:25,423 NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE. THEIR SONG IS CALLED "FREEDOM 256 00:10:25,423 --> 00:10:26,924 WAS A HIGHWAY." MUSIC FROM JIMMIE ALLEN AND 257 00:10:26,924 --> 00:10:27,258 BRAD PAISLEY. 258 00:10:27,258 --> 00:10:28,926 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 259 00:10:28,926 --> 00:10:31,129 TOMORROW NIGHT FORMER PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH WILL JOIN US WITH 260 00:10:31,129 --> 00:10:35,166 MUSIC FROM MAROON 5. AND THURSDAY, GAL GADOT, 261 00:10:35,166 --> 00:10:38,803 ERIC ANDRE, AND MUSIC FROM KALAYO. 262 00:10:38,803 --> 00:10:39,737 PLEASE JOIN US FOR ALL THAT. 263 00:10:39,737 --> 00:10:40,772 [ APPLAUSE ] 264 00:10:40,772 --> 00:10:44,542 OUR FIRST GUEST WEARS MANY HATS. COMEDIAN, TALK SHOW HOST, GAME 265 00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:46,811 SHOW HOST, AND SHE'S REALLY GOOD AT BUYING FURNITURE AND LAMPS. 266 00:10:46,811 --> 00:10:49,547 ON THURSDAY HER NEW SERIES "ELLEN'S NEXT GREAT DESIGNER" 267 00:10:49,547 --> 00:10:50,848 PREMIERES ON HBO MAX. PLEASE SAY HELLO TO 268 00:10:50,848 --> 00:10:55,520 ELLEN DeGENERES. 269 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:56,020 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 270 00:10:56,020 --> 00:11:05,463 ♪ 271 00:11:05,463 --> 00:11:09,100 >> Jimmy: WELCOME. 272 00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:09,600 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 273 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,502 HOW ARE YOU? 274 00:11:11,502 --> 00:11:16,441 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 275 00:11:16,441 --> 00:11:19,277 THANK YOU FOR COMING. 276 00:11:19,277 --> 00:11:21,713 >> I'M THRILLED I COULD COME. I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE. 277 00:11:21,713 --> 00:11:22,814 WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? 278 00:11:22,814 --> 00:11:23,214 [ LAUGHTER ] 279 00:11:23,214 --> 00:11:26,017 >> Jimmy: THESE ARE ‐‐ THESE PEOPLE, YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE THEM 280 00:11:26,017 --> 00:11:29,721 NOW BECAUSE THEY'RE WEARING MASKS. BUT THIS IS OUR STAFF. 281 00:11:29,721 --> 00:11:30,521 THEY ARE OUR STAFF AND CREW, YEAH. 282 00:11:30,521 --> 00:11:35,860 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 283 00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:38,629 >> ARE THEY WRITERS? 284 00:11:38,629 --> 00:11:40,832 >> Jimmy: TWO OF THEM ARE WRITERS. YEAH. 285 00:11:40,832 --> 00:11:43,468 >> BECAUSE THEY WILL LAUGH MORE AT YOU THAN ME. 286 00:11:43,468 --> 00:11:45,136 BECAUSE THEY'RE WRITING YOUR STUFF. 287 00:11:45,136 --> 00:11:45,469 [ LAUGHTER ] 288 00:11:45,469 --> 00:11:47,672 >> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT, EXACTLY. YOU KNOW HOW THAT WORKS. 289 00:11:47,672 --> 00:11:48,406 >> YEAH, YEAH. 290 00:11:48,406 --> 00:11:50,575 >> Jimmy: SOMEHOW, I DON'T EVEN GET THAT. 291 00:11:50,575 --> 00:11:50,908 [ LAUGHTER ] 292 00:11:50,908 --> 00:11:51,776 IT'S INTERESTING, YEAH. 293 00:11:51,776 --> 00:11:52,477 >> NO? 294 00:11:52,477 --> 00:11:56,280 >> Jimmy: SOMEHOW THAT HALO EFFECT DOES NOT HOVER OVER ME. 295 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:56,948 IT'S WEIRD. 296 00:11:56,948 --> 00:12:00,618 >> I SEE THEM ENJOYING YOU. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, I HAVEN'T 297 00:12:00,618 --> 00:12:02,120 SEEN YOU FOR A WHILE. 298 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,056 >> Jimmy: IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. I WAS ON YOUR SHOW A FEW MONTHS 299 00:12:05,056 --> 00:12:10,895 AGO, SO WE GOT TO SEE EACH OTHER A PIECE OF WOOD WITH LIGHTS ON 300 00:12:10,895 --> 00:12:11,462 US. BUT NOT FOR REAL. 301 00:12:11,462 --> 00:12:11,795 >> YEAH. 302 00:12:11,795 --> 00:12:12,930 >> Jimmy: HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING? 303 00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:15,400 >> EVERYTHING'S GOOD. I'M JUST, YOU KNOW ‐‐ I DON'T 304 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,069 HAVE PEOPLE. WE HAVE SOME STAFF, BUT WE HAVE 305 00:12:18,069 --> 00:12:21,773 LIKE SIX PEOPLE AND THE REST ARE ‐‐ EVERYBODY'S ON LITTLE TV 306 00:12:21,773 --> 00:12:22,138 SCREENS. 307 00:12:22,138 --> 00:12:22,473 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 308 00:12:22,473 --> 00:12:23,574 >> WATCHING FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD. 309 00:12:23,574 --> 00:12:25,510 SO THAT'S KIND OF INTERESTING. BUT ‐‐ 310 00:12:25,510 --> 00:12:28,413 >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT IS WEIRD. WHEN I DID YOUR SHOW, YOU HAVE 311 00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:31,382 ALL THE AUDIENCE ON TV. AND IT'S LIKE, THEY'RE AT HOME 312 00:12:31,382 --> 00:12:34,185 WATCHING US ON TV, WE'RE WATCHING THEM ON TV, AND IT'S 313 00:12:34,185 --> 00:12:36,821 JUST KIND OF AN ODD DYNAMIC. 314 00:12:36,821 --> 00:12:38,923 >> YEAH. AND IT'S COMFORTABLE BECAUSE 315 00:12:38,923 --> 00:12:41,726 THEY'RE WATCHING FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, AND SO ‐‐ I MEAN, 316 00:12:41,726 --> 00:12:45,296 LIKE TODAY WHEN I SHOT, WE HAD PEOPLE FROM ATHENS AND FROM 317 00:12:45,296 --> 00:12:48,533 ITALY AND FROM ‐‐ SO THEY WERE WATCHING AT 2:00 A. M. 318 00:12:48,533 --> 00:12:51,936 THEN THERE ARE PEOPLE FROM OBVIOUSLY ALL OVER THE COUNTRY 319 00:12:51,936 --> 00:12:53,438 HERE. BUT IT'S ‐‐ THEY'RE IN THEIR 320 00:12:53,438 --> 00:12:55,807 HOME, AND IT'S ‐‐ I THINK IT'S EASIER FOR THEM, OBVIOUSLY. 321 00:12:55,807 --> 00:12:58,242 >> Jimmy: WELL, SURE, YEAH. BUT THEY DON'T GET ANYTHING. 322 00:12:58,242 --> 00:12:58,576 [ LAUGHTER ] 323 00:12:58,576 --> 00:12:59,544 >> YEAH, NO. 324 00:12:59,544 --> 00:13:02,413 >> Jimmy: THEY DON'T GET PILLOWS, FOR INSTANCE. 325 00:13:02,413 --> 00:13:03,815 THEY WON'T GET ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 326 00:13:03,815 --> 00:13:05,283 >> YOU LUCKY GUY, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE HIM ON, HUH? 327 00:13:05,283 --> 00:13:08,219 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 328 00:13:08,219 --> 00:13:12,089 >> Jimmy: I KNOW, WE HAD A REALLY ‐‐ I BEAT YOU OUT FOR 329 00:13:12,089 --> 00:13:12,457 THAT BOOK, HUH? 330 00:13:12,457 --> 00:13:12,790 [ LAUGHTER ] 331 00:13:12,790 --> 00:13:15,293 >> YEAH. 332 00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:18,529 >> Jimmy: DO YOU WANT ME TO BRING HIM OVER AFTER WE'RE DONE? 333 00:13:18,529 --> 00:13:19,931 >> NO, NO. 334 00:13:19,931 --> 00:13:20,431 [ LAUGHTER ] 335 00:13:20,431 --> 00:13:23,868 WE WON'T FOLLOW YOU WITH HIM, NO. 336 00:13:23,868 --> 00:13:26,571 >> Jimmy: DO YOU CELEBRATE 4/20? 337 00:13:26,571 --> 00:13:29,073 >> NO. NO, I DON'T. FOR YOU IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS OR 338 00:13:29,073 --> 00:13:29,440 HANUKKAH, RIGHT? 339 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,442 [ LAUGHTER ] 340 00:13:31,442 --> 00:13:35,012 THIS MUST BE YOUR DAY. 341 00:13:35,012 --> 00:13:36,314 >> Jimmy: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? 342 00:13:36,314 --> 00:13:36,881 THAT'S A WEIRD THING TO SAY. 343 00:13:36,881 --> 00:13:38,416 [ LAUGHTER ] 344 00:13:38,416 --> 00:13:39,050 >> ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? 345 00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:41,252 >> Jimmy: NO, NO. 346 00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:41,886 >> NO? 347 00:13:41,886 --> 00:13:46,757 >> Jimmy: OH, HIGH‐NUKKAH WOULD BE A GOOD HOLIDAY. 348 00:13:46,757 --> 00:13:50,361 >> YEAH, YEAH. I NEVER DID LIKE MARIJUANA OR 349 00:13:50,361 --> 00:13:52,129 WHATEVER. WHAT'S IT CALLED? POT, MARIJUANA? 350 00:13:52,129 --> 00:13:54,832 >> Jimmy: YEAH THEY CALL IT THAT. THOSE ARE TWO OF THE NAMES 351 00:13:54,832 --> 00:13:56,634 [ LAUGHTER ] 352 00:13:56,634 --> 00:13:58,936 IT HAS MORE NAMES THAN SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, A LOT OF NAMES, YEAH. 353 00:13:58,936 --> 00:14:05,376 >> I DON'T PARTAKE IN THE WACKY TOBACCY, I AM NOT A DOOBIE 354 00:14:05,376 --> 00:14:05,709 BROTHER. 355 00:14:05,709 --> 00:14:06,042 [ LAUGHTER ] 356 00:14:06,042 --> 00:14:08,145 >> Jimmy: WHAT ABOUT GUMMYS? HAVE YOU EATEN ONE OF THOSE? 357 00:14:08,145 --> 00:14:10,715 >> I HATE POT, I HATE THE RAY IT FEELS. 358 00:14:10,715 --> 00:14:15,786 SO PEOPLE HAVE PUSHED GUMMYS ON NOTHING LIKE THAT, AND AS A S ‐ 359 00:14:15,786 --> 00:14:19,423 MATTER OF FACT, MY ASSISTANT, CRAIG, GAVE ME A GUMMY BECAUSE 360 00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:22,960 HE HAD A HARD TIME SLEEPING. AND HE SAID, JUST TRY THIS GUMMY. 361 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:27,231 AND I SAID, I DON'T WANT IT. HE GOES, NO, IT'S NOT NOTHING 362 00:14:27,231 --> 00:14:30,268 LIKE THAT. EVERYONE ALWAYS SAYS THAT. 363 00:14:30,268 --> 00:14:31,802 AND I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE. 364 00:14:31,802 --> 00:14:32,136 [ LAUGHTER ] 365 00:14:32,136 --> 00:14:35,306 I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE. I WAS SO FREAKED OUT. 366 00:14:35,306 --> 00:14:38,242 AND THEN SINCE THEN PEOPLE ARE LIKE, OH, YOU HAVEN'T TRIED THE 367 00:14:38,242 --> 00:14:42,213 RIGHT GUMMY, YOU NEED TO TRY ‐‐ 368 00:14:42,213 --> 00:14:42,546 [ LAUGHTER ] 369 00:14:42,546 --> 00:14:45,082 EVERYONE HAS A THING THAT IF YOU TRY THIS, IT'S DIFFERENT THAN 370 00:14:45,082 --> 00:14:46,918 THE OTHER. SO NO, I DON'T LIKE ANY OF THAT. 371 00:14:46,918 --> 00:14:48,819 >> Jimmy: CAN YOU TELL WHEN PEOPLE ARE HIGH? 372 00:14:48,819 --> 00:14:50,588 WELL, OBVIOUSLY YOU COULDN'T WITH ME. 373 00:14:50,588 --> 00:14:51,422 >> NO. 374 00:14:51,422 --> 00:14:53,357 >> Jimmy: IF I WAS HIGH, YOU'D KNOW IT. 375 00:14:53,357 --> 00:14:53,691 [ LAUGHTER ] 376 00:14:53,691 --> 00:14:54,725 THERE WOULD BE NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. 377 00:14:54,725 --> 00:14:58,195 >> NO, I'VE SEEN YOU HIGH. I'VE SEEN YOU HIGH. 378 00:14:58,195 --> 00:14:58,696 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 379 00:14:58,696 --> 00:14:59,964 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE, INTERESTING. 380 00:14:59,964 --> 00:15:06,470 >> Jimmy: WHY DON'T WE PLAY A ROUND OF "WHO'S HIGH?" 381 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:09,574 >> YES, I'D LIKE TO SEE IF I'D BE ABLE TO DO THAT. 382 00:15:09,574 --> 00:15:11,108 >> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO LEAVE THIS TO YOU. 383 00:15:11,108 --> 00:15:14,378 WE HAVE THREE PEDESTRIANS, WE'VE PULLED THEM INTO THIS PHONE 384 00:15:14,378 --> 00:15:16,447 BOOTH TYPE THING WE CONSTRUCTED. GO AHEAD. 385 00:15:16,447 --> 00:15:18,616 YOU CAN START IF YOU LIKE ON THE LEFT WITH RICHARD. 386 00:15:18,616 --> 00:15:20,318 >> OKAY. HI, RICHARD. 387 00:15:20,318 --> 00:15:21,852 >> HI, ELLEN. 388 00:15:21,852 --> 00:15:23,254 >>RY. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? 389 00:15:23,254 --> 00:15:24,956 >> BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS. 390 00:15:24,956 --> 00:15:26,157 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 391 00:15:26,157 --> 00:15:26,624 >> VACATION. 392 00:15:26,624 --> 00:15:28,793 >> UH‐HUH. WHO ARE YOU VACATIONING WITH? 393 00:15:28,793 --> 00:15:30,595 >> MY GIRLFRIEND AND HER DAUGHTER. 394 00:15:30,595 --> 00:15:35,333 >> OKAY. AND ‐‐ NEXT? 395 00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:37,635 >> Jimmy: OKAY, NEXT IS AIDAN, LOOKS LIKE. 396 00:15:37,635 --> 00:15:41,639 >> HI, AIDAN? 397 00:15:41,639 --> 00:15:43,040 >> HELLO. 398 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:43,574 >> HI, WHERE DO YOU LIVE? 399 00:15:43,574 --> 00:15:44,809 >> I LIVE HERE IN L. A. BUT I'M FROM NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE. 400 00:15:44,809 --> 00:15:49,547 >> YOU'RE VACATIONING AS WELL? YOU LIVE HER IN L. A., YOU SAY 401 00:15:49,547 --> 00:15:49,912 THAT. 402 00:15:49,912 --> 00:15:50,314 >> YEAH. 403 00:15:50,314 --> 00:15:51,649 >> I'M NOT HIGH. 404 00:15:51,649 --> 00:15:51,982 [ LAUGHTER ] 405 00:15:51,982 --> 00:15:54,385 DO YOU ‐‐ DO YOU SMOKE POT? 406 00:15:54,385 --> 00:15:55,152 >> I DO. 407 00:15:55,152 --> 00:15:57,121 >> UH‐HUH. 408 00:15:57,121 --> 00:15:57,454 [ LAUGHTER ] 409 00:15:57,454 --> 00:15:58,456 HAVE YOU TRIED A GUMMY? 410 00:15:58,456 --> 00:16:00,358 >> I HAVE TRIED A GUMMY, YES. 411 00:16:00,358 --> 00:16:01,292 >> YOU LIKE THEM? 412 00:16:01,292 --> 00:16:02,693 >> I DO. I DO. 413 00:16:02,693 --> 00:16:03,027 [ LAUGHTER ] 414 00:16:03,027 --> 00:16:07,131 >> OKAY, ALL RIGHT. AND WHO'S NEXT? LET'S SEE. 415 00:16:07,131 --> 00:16:08,099 >> Jimmy: JANICE. 416 00:16:08,099 --> 00:16:10,067 >> HI, JANICE. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? 417 00:16:10,067 --> 00:16:11,369 >> NEW YORK. 418 00:16:11,369 --> 00:16:12,937 >> OKAY. YOU'RE VERY MELLOW FOR A NEW 419 00:16:12,937 --> 00:16:13,302 YORKER. 420 00:16:13,302 --> 00:16:15,006 [ LAUGHTER ] 421 00:16:15,006 --> 00:16:16,273 >> Jimmy: THERE MIGHT BE A REASON FOR THAT. 422 00:16:16,273 --> 00:16:20,378 >> YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW. WHAT ‐‐ WHAT DO YOU DO? 423 00:16:20,378 --> 00:16:21,612 >> I'M A MOM. 424 00:16:21,612 --> 00:16:22,580 >> UH‐HUH. 425 00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:23,014 >> Jimmy: OH. 426 00:16:23,014 --> 00:16:27,318 >> HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS? 427 00:16:27,318 --> 00:16:31,656 >> 14, 8, AND 3. I'M A COOL MOM. 428 00:16:31,656 --> 00:16:33,691 >> UH‐HUH. YOU DO SOMETHING FOR SURE, 429 00:16:33,691 --> 00:16:34,158 BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT ‐‐ 430 00:16:34,158 --> 00:16:37,428 [ LAUGHTER ] 431 00:16:37,428 --> 00:16:38,496 DO YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, JIMMY? 432 00:16:38,496 --> 00:16:41,565 >> Jimmy: YEAH WELL, I THINK RIGHT NOW I'M FEELING LIKE IT'S 433 00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:42,533 JANICE. BECAUSE ALMOST ALL MOMS ARE HIGH 434 00:16:42,533 --> 00:16:42,867 ALL THE TIME. 435 00:16:42,867 --> 00:16:45,870 [ LAUGHTER ] 436 00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:49,740 IT'S A NEW THING, YOU KNOW? 437 00:16:49,740 --> 00:16:53,944 >> YEAH ‐‐ I'D ‐‐ LET ME GO BACK TO THE FIRST GUY. RICHARD? 438 00:16:53,944 --> 00:16:54,277 >> YEAH. 439 00:16:54,277 --> 00:16:54,611 >> HI, RICHARD. 440 00:16:54,611 --> 00:16:56,781 >> HI. 441 00:16:56,781 --> 00:16:59,417 >> LOOK AT YOUR EYES. YOUR EYES ARE LIKE ‐‐ 442 00:16:59,417 --> 00:17:02,019 >> Jimmy: RICHARD, YOU'RE FROM BOSTON, I FIND THAT HARD TO 443 00:17:02,019 --> 00:17:02,352 BELIEVE. 444 00:17:02,352 --> 00:17:02,685 >> I KNOW. 445 00:17:02,685 --> 00:17:06,257 [ LAUGHTER ] 446 00:17:06,257 --> 00:17:09,093 >> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE A PAIR OF BRUINS UNDERPANTS ON TOO? 447 00:17:09,093 --> 00:17:10,094 >> NO, THOSE ARE BACK AT THE HOTEL. 448 00:17:10,094 --> 00:17:10,494 [ LAUGHTER ] 449 00:17:10,494 --> 00:17:14,865 >> Jimmy: OKAY. 450 00:17:14,865 --> 00:17:17,702 >> I'M GOING TO ‐‐ I'M GOING TO SAY IT'S RICHARD. 451 00:17:17,702 --> 00:17:18,069 >> Jimmy: OH. 452 00:17:18,069 --> 00:17:19,236 >> SORRY, NOT ME. 453 00:17:19,236 --> 00:17:20,171 >> Jimmy: IT'S NOT YOU? 454 00:17:20,171 --> 00:17:21,572 >> IT'S NOT? OH, WOW. 455 00:17:21,572 --> 00:17:25,776 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. AIDAN, IS IT YOU? 456 00:17:25,776 --> 00:17:26,377 >> YES. 457 00:17:26,377 --> 00:17:26,710 [ LAUGHTER ] 458 00:17:26,710 --> 00:17:28,979 >> Jimmy: IT IS YOU, AIDAN. ARE YOU SURE? 459 00:17:28,979 --> 00:17:33,117 >> IT WAS TOO OBVIOUS. 460 00:17:33,117 --> 00:17:34,985 >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW, HIS EYES ARE VERY CLEAR. 461 00:17:34,985 --> 00:17:35,619 >> I KNOW. 462 00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:37,421 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU USING VISINE OR SOMETHING, AIDAN? 463 00:17:37,421 --> 00:17:40,891 >> NO, MY EYES ARE JUST ‐‐ HAPPEN TO BE PRETTY GOOD 464 00:17:40,891 --> 00:17:41,224 SOMETIMES. 465 00:17:41,224 --> 00:17:43,961 >> Jimmy: I HAVE TO TELL YOU, THE MASKS REALLY THROW ME OFF. 466 00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:45,663 I'M USUALLY REALLY GOOD AT THIS. 467 00:17:45,663 --> 00:17:48,733 >> WELL, WHEN DID YOU ‐‐ HOW LONG AGO DID YOU PARTAKE? 468 00:17:48,733 --> 00:17:51,802 WHAT DID YOU DO, SMOKE, OR WHAT YOU DID YOU DO? 469 00:17:51,802 --> 00:17:54,271 >> I USED A VAPORIZER. 470 00:17:54,271 --> 00:17:55,072 >> Jimmy: AH, YES. 471 00:17:55,072 --> 00:17:55,940 >> HOW LONG AGO? 472 00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:58,109 >> PROBABLY 30 MINUTES AGO, THEN FROM THE MOMENT I WOKE UP, 473 00:17:58,109 --> 00:17:58,474 BASICALLY. 474 00:17:58,474 --> 00:18:02,046 [ LAUGHTER ] 475 00:18:02,046 --> 00:18:02,379 [ APPLAUSE ] 476 00:18:02,379 --> 00:18:04,515 >> Jimmy: IT'S A HOLIDAY. 477 00:18:04,515 --> 00:18:07,985 >> WOW. WOW. 478 00:18:07,985 --> 00:18:09,787 >> Jimmy: AND OUR THIRD CONTESTANT, JANICE. 479 00:18:09,787 --> 00:18:11,222 YOU ARE NOT HIGH, HUH? 480 00:18:11,222 --> 00:18:11,756 >> NO. 481 00:18:11,756 --> 00:18:14,024 >> Jimmy: NO. SO WHEN YOU SAID YOU'RE A COOL 482 00:18:14,024 --> 00:18:16,393 MOM, THAT WAS JUST TO THROW US OFF? 483 00:18:16,393 --> 00:18:17,428 >> YEP. 484 00:18:17,428 --> 00:18:17,762 [ LAUGHTER ] 485 00:18:17,762 --> 00:18:20,698 >> Jimmy: AND THE CARDI B SHIRT, JUST TO THROW US OFF? 486 00:18:20,698 --> 00:18:21,232 >> NO, I'M A COOL MOM. 487 00:18:21,232 --> 00:18:24,735 [ LAUGHTER ] 488 00:18:24,735 --> 00:18:25,068 [ APPLAUSE ] 489 00:18:25,068 --> 00:18:26,604 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE GIFTS FOR YOU. 490 00:18:26,604 --> 00:18:29,740 WHAT ARE OUR GIFTS FOR THESE ‐‐ OH, LOOK AT THAT, BUBBLE WANDS. 491 00:18:29,740 --> 00:18:34,211 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 492 00:18:34,211 --> 00:18:36,347 JANICE, YOU CAN SHARE THOSE WITH YOUR KIDS. 493 00:18:36,347 --> 00:18:39,283 RICHARD, YOU CAN BEAT SOMEBODY OVER THE HEAD WITH THAT AT THE 494 00:18:39,283 --> 00:18:41,519 GARDEN. AIDAN, JUST STARE AT THOSE. 495 00:18:41,519 --> 00:18:41,852 [ LAUGHTER ] 496 00:18:41,852 --> 00:18:43,254 THERE YOU GO, THAT'S HOW WE DO IT. 497 00:18:43,254 --> 00:18:46,056 >> WELL, YEAH, I'M NOT GOOD AT IT, OBVIOUSLY. 498 00:18:46,056 --> 00:18:47,658 HE DID NOT LOOK HIGH, RIGHT? 499 00:18:47,658 --> 00:18:49,193 >> Jimmy: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, IT IS HARD. 500 00:18:49,193 --> 00:18:51,729 IT'S A DIFFICULT GAME. THERE'S NOTHING EASY ABOUT IT. 501 00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:52,062 [ LAUGHTER ] 502 00:18:52,062 --> 00:18:54,465 >> NO, YEAH. 503 00:18:54,465 --> 00:18:56,433 >> Jimmy: HOW IS PORTIA DOING? 504 00:18:56,433 --> 00:19:01,172 >> SHE'S GOOD. YOU HEARD ABOUT HER ‐‐ 505 00:19:01,172 --> 00:19:03,507 >> Jimmy: I HEARD SHE HAD APPENDICITIS. 506 00:19:03,507 --> 00:19:06,610 >> YEAH, SHE WAS ‐‐ OH, HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED. 507 00:19:06,610 --> 00:19:10,414 I WAS ‐‐ SHE WASN'T FEELING WELL. AND IT WAS 7:30 AT NIGHT. 508 00:19:10,414 --> 00:19:12,883 AND SHE SAID, I DON'T FEEL WELL, I WANT TO GO TO BED. 509 00:19:12,883 --> 00:19:16,387 I'M LIKE, IT'S 7:30, IT'S TOO EARLY, WE USUALLY GO TO BED AT 510 00:19:16,387 --> 00:19:16,752 8:30. 511 00:19:16,752 --> 00:19:19,824 [ LAUGHTER ] 512 00:19:19,824 --> 00:19:24,428 SO I HAD STARTED ‐‐ SO CHELSEA HANDLER TOLD ME ABOUT THESE LIKE 513 00:19:24,428 --> 00:19:31,302 WEED DRINKS CALLED CANN. THEY HAVE CBD OR ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW 514 00:19:31,302 --> 00:19:33,604 WHAT THE GOOD THING IS, BUT IT HAS SOMETHING THAT'S 515 00:19:33,604 --> 00:19:35,906 SUPPOSEDLY ‐‐ THIS IS ANOTHER ONE. LIKE, NO, THIS IS DIFFERENT. 516 00:19:35,906 --> 00:19:37,808 [ LAUGHTER ] 517 00:19:37,808 --> 00:19:40,611 SO I DRANK ONE. AND I DIDN'T FEEL ANYTHING. 518 00:19:40,611 --> 00:19:46,050 AND I DRANK THREE. THEN I TOOK TWO MELATONIN SLEEP 519 00:19:46,050 --> 00:19:50,855 PILLS. AND I'M LAYING IN BED. AND I REALIZE SHE'S NOT IN BED. 520 00:19:50,855 --> 00:19:52,823 AND I HEAR ‐‐ I SAID, ARE YOU OKAY? 521 00:19:52,823 --> 00:19:57,661 SHE'S LIKE, UHH ‐‐ I SAID, BABY, ARE YOU OKAY? AND SHE'S MOANING. 522 00:19:57,661 --> 00:20:01,031 I GET OUT OF BED. AND SHE'S ON THE GROUND ON ALL 523 00:20:01,031 --> 00:20:02,366 FOURS. AND I SAID, YOU'RE NOT OKAY. 524 00:20:02,366 --> 00:20:05,236 SHE GOES, I'M OKAY. I SAID, NO, UNLESS YOU'RE 525 00:20:05,236 --> 00:20:06,370 PLAYING TWISTER BY YOURSELF, YOU'RE NOT OKAY. 526 00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:08,339 [ LAUGHTER ] 527 00:20:08,339 --> 00:20:13,110 I RUSHED HER TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. AND THEY ‐‐ 528 00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:14,445 >> Jimmy: YOU DROVE HER YOURSELF? 529 00:20:14,445 --> 00:20:17,047 >> I DID. I KICKED IN ‐‐ MY ADRENALINE, 530 00:20:17,047 --> 00:20:20,084 BECAUSE I HAD TO RUSH HER THERE. IT'S PROBABLY NOT SAFE, I 531 00:20:20,084 --> 00:20:20,718 SHOULDN'T BE SAYING ANY OF THAT. 532 00:20:20,718 --> 00:20:23,120 [ LAUGHTER ] 533 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:24,922 >> Jimmy: AT LEAST YOU'RE HEADED TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. 534 00:20:24,922 --> 00:20:29,293 >> I REALIZE, YES, YEAH. AND SO THEY RAN ALL KINDS OF 535 00:20:29,293 --> 00:20:33,230 TESTS. IS UNTIL THEY ADMITTED HER, IT‐ 536 00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:34,632 BECAUSE THEY WERE FINDING ALL KINDS OF THINGS. 537 00:20:34,632 --> 00:20:38,302 THE NEXT MORNING THEY HAD TO 538 00:20:38,302 --> 00:20:43,040 TAKE HER APPENDIX OUT, EMERGENCY APPENDECTOMY. 539 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,409 SHE WAS BEGGING FOR MORE PAIN PILLS BECAUSE SHE WAS STILL IN 540 00:20:45,409 --> 00:20:47,244 PAIN AND THE NURSE WAS NOT GIVING THEM TO HER. 541 00:20:47,244 --> 00:20:49,947 SO SHE STARTS OFFERING UP TICKETS TO MY SHOW. 542 00:20:49,947 --> 00:20:50,280 [ LAUGHTER ] 543 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:50,748 >> Jimmy: TO THE NURSE? 544 00:20:50,748 --> 00:20:55,486 >> YEAH. SHE'S LIKE BARGAINING. 545 00:20:55,486 --> 00:20:58,188 UPPING IT TO 12 DAYS. WHAT ABOUT THE "CHRISTMAS 12 546 00:20:58,188 --> 00:20:58,521 DAY" SHOW? 547 00:20:58,521 --> 00:21:01,358 [ LAUGHTER ] 548 00:21:01,358 --> 00:21:02,526 >> Jimmy: NURSE DIDN'T GO FOR IT? 549 00:21:02,526 --> 00:21:03,661 >> SHE TECHNICALLY COULD NOT. SHE WANTED TO. 550 00:21:03,661 --> 00:21:05,396 [ LAUGHTER ] 551 00:21:05,396 --> 00:21:06,430 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 552 00:21:06,430 --> 00:21:09,099 >> IT WAS TEMPTING. BUT SHE'S MUCH BETTER NOW. 553 00:21:09,099 --> 00:21:11,168 >> Jimmy: OH, GOOD. OH, YEAH. THAT'S SCARY. 554 00:21:11,168 --> 00:21:12,069 >> YOU HAD THAT? 555 00:21:12,069 --> 00:21:13,938 >> Jimmy: THAT HAPPENED TO ME, YEAH, IT WAS BAD. 556 00:21:13,938 --> 00:21:16,173 >> YOU WERE ABOUT TO START A SHOW. 557 00:21:16,173 --> 00:21:19,743 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH. BUT I KNEW IMMEDIATELY IT WAS 558 00:21:19,743 --> 00:21:21,712 APPENDICITIS. I WENT," TAKE THIS OUT." 559 00:21:21,712 --> 00:21:26,784 THEY'RE LIKE, HOLD ON A SECOND, WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE THIS OUT. 560 00:21:26,784 --> 00:21:28,619 OKAYING YEAH, WE NEED TO TAKE THAT OUT. 561 00:21:28,619 --> 00:21:32,323 >> Jimmy: IT'S AMAZING YOU KNEW. SHE REALLY THOUGHT THAT SHE JUST 562 00:21:32,323 --> 00:21:35,559 WAS HAVING PAIN, AND IT WASN'T LOCALIZED YET, SO IT TOOK 563 00:21:35,559 --> 00:21:38,095 OVERNIGHT TO KIND OF LOCALIZE. 564 00:21:38,095 --> 00:21:40,364 >> Jimmy: WELL, I'M A DOCTOR. 565 00:21:40,364 --> 00:21:40,697 [ LAUGHTER ] 566 00:21:40,697 --> 00:21:43,334 BEING A DOCTOR, I KNOW THESE KIND OF THINGS. 567 00:21:43,334 --> 00:21:44,468 >> DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 568 00:21:44,468 --> 00:21:49,173 >> Jimmy: THE NEW SHOW IS CALLED "ELLEN'S NEXT GREAT DESIGNER" ON 569 00:21:49,173 --> 00:21:50,746 HBO MAX. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 570 00:21:58,343 --> 00:22:01,008 >>> I'M GOING TO CALL THEM, TELL THEM THEY'RE IN THEY'LL FREAK 571 00:22:01,008 --> 00:22:06,927 OUT. THEN ONCE I'VE CALLED THEM, YOU'RE GOING TO CALL THEM AND 572 00:22:06,927 --> 00:22:09,330 YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE THEM THEIR FIRST CHALLENGE, OKAY? 573 00:22:09,330 --> 00:22:10,798 >> I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT IT, YES. 574 00:22:10,798 --> 00:22:12,533 >> OKAY. WHO'S GOING TO HANG UP FIRST? 575 00:22:12,533 --> 00:22:15,336 >> WELL ‐‐ YOU'RE ELLEN. SO DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO. 576 00:22:15,336 --> 00:22:17,104 >> OKAY. COUNT TO THREE AND HANG UP 577 00:22:17,104 --> 00:22:17,437 TOGETHER. 578 00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:17,838 >> OKAY. 579 00:22:17,838 --> 00:22:20,441 >> ALL RIGHT. READY? ONE ‐‐ 580 00:22:20,441 --> 00:22:21,642 >> ONE ‐‐ 581 00:22:21,642 --> 00:22:22,977 >> JUST HUNG UP IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE, IT'S THE BEST. 582 00:22:22,977 --> 00:22:25,146 [ LAUGHTER ] 583 00:22:25,146 --> 00:22:29,850 >> Jimmy: THAT IS EL10'S NEW SHOW, "ELLEN'S NEXT GREAT DES 584 00:22:29,850 --> 00:22:33,054 DESIGNER." IT PREMIERES THURSDAY ON HBO MAX. 585 00:22:33,054 --> 00:22:35,256 THAT'S SCOTT FOLEY, GREAT GUY, REALLY NICE GUY. 586 00:22:35,256 --> 00:22:37,892 >> HE LOVES FURNITURE, HE BUILDS FURNITURE, SO HE WANTED TO BE A 587 00:22:37,892 --> 00:22:38,526 PART OF THIS. 588 00:22:38,526 --> 00:22:39,994 >> Jimmy: I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ABOUT HIM. 589 00:22:39,994 --> 00:22:42,763 >> HE'S REALLY GOOD, VERY TALENTED. 590 00:22:42,763 --> 00:22:46,167 YEAH, SO IT'S A SHOW THAT I LOVE FURNITURE, I LOVE DESIGN, AND 591 00:22:46,167 --> 00:22:49,303 I'M ALWAYS, YOU KNOW, WANTING TO HIGHLIGHT DESIGNERS SXOO WHO'S 592 00:22:49,303 --> 00:22:52,773 MAKING THE NEXT GREAT COFFEE TABLE OR SOFA OR CHAIR OR 593 00:22:52,773 --> 00:22:58,546 FIREPLACE OR WHATEVER. WE FOUND AMAZING, AMAZING PEOPLE. 594 00:22:58,546 --> 00:22:59,246 AND THEY COMPETE. AND. 595 00:22:59,246 --> 00:23:02,383 >> Jimmy: I ENJOY WATCHING IT. I LOVE SHOWS WHERE THE PEOPLE 596 00:23:02,383 --> 00:23:03,017 CAN DO SOMETHING. 597 00:23:03,017 --> 00:23:03,484 >> UH‐HUH. 598 00:23:03,484 --> 00:23:05,886 >> Jimmy: BECAUSE A LOT OF THESE SHOWS, THE PEOPLE JUST KIND OF 599 00:23:05,886 --> 00:23:07,488 WALK AROUND AND TALK TO EACH OTHER. 600 00:23:07,488 --> 00:23:08,956 >> AND MAKE OUT. 601 00:23:08,956 --> 00:23:09,289 [ LAUGHTER ] 602 00:23:09,289 --> 00:23:11,058 >> Jimmy: SEEING PEOPLE BUILD ‐‐ AND MAKE OUT. 603 00:23:11,058 --> 00:23:12,059 >> THOSE SHOWS. 604 00:23:12,059 --> 00:23:12,960 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER BUILT ANYTHING? 605 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,562 >> NO, I'VE NEVER BUILT ANYTHING. 606 00:23:14,562 --> 00:23:15,062 >> Jimmy: NEVER TRIED? 607 00:23:15,062 --> 00:23:16,030 >> NO, I JUST BUY THINGS THAT ARE BUILT. 608 00:23:16,030 --> 00:23:18,899 [ LAUGHTER ] 609 00:23:18,899 --> 00:23:22,403 I LOVE DESIGN, BUT I'VE NEVER ‐‐ I'M NOT HANDY LIKE THAT. 610 00:23:22,403 --> 00:23:24,205 >> Jimmy: DESIGNING, YEAH, INTERESTING. 611 00:23:24,205 --> 00:23:25,873 YOU NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT MAYBE GIVING US A SHOT? 612 00:23:25,873 --> 00:23:26,206 >> WHY? 613 00:23:26,206 --> 00:23:26,607 >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW. 614 00:23:26,607 --> 00:23:28,109 [ LAUGHTER ] 615 00:23:28,109 --> 00:23:31,412 >> NO. NO. 616 00:23:31,412 --> 00:23:34,115 >> Jimmy: YOU ALSO HAVE ‐‐ AND THIS IS FUNNY. 617 00:23:34,115 --> 00:23:37,017 MAYBE BAD PLANNING. BUT YOU HAVE ANOTHER SHOW 618 00:23:37,017 --> 00:23:38,586 PREMIERING ‐‐ A DOCUMENTARY, ACTUALLY ‐‐ 619 00:23:38,586 --> 00:23:39,387 >> THE SAME DAY. 620 00:23:39,387 --> 00:23:40,321 >> Jimmy: ON THE VERY SAME DAY. 621 00:23:40,321 --> 00:23:42,556 >> EXACTLY. IT IS A FILM, A DOCUMENTARY 622 00:23:42,556 --> 00:23:46,260 CALLED "ENDANGERED." IT'S ON DISCOVERY PLUS. 623 00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:47,995 AND SO YOU CAN WATCH BOTH, REALLY. 624 00:23:47,995 --> 00:23:49,697 YOU COULD RECORD ONE AND WATCH ONE LIVE. 625 00:23:49,697 --> 00:23:50,364 >> Jimmy: THAT'S TRUE. 626 00:23:50,364 --> 00:23:52,767 >> THIS HAPPENS TO BE FOR ALL THE ENDANGERED SPECIES. 627 00:23:52,767 --> 00:23:54,835 NOT ALL OF THEM. THERE'S A LOT MORE. 628 00:23:54,835 --> 00:24:00,341 BUT WE FOCUS ON SEVEN OF THEM. AND, I MEAN, THE GIRAFFE IS NOW 629 00:24:00,341 --> 00:24:06,414 ENDANGERED. WHICH IS HORRIBLE. THERE'S ASIAN SONGBIRDS THAT ARE 630 00:24:06,414 --> 00:24:09,283 ENDANGERED. AND IT'S INCREDIBLE THAT ALL 631 00:24:09,283 --> 00:24:12,319 THESE SCIENTISTS ARE TRAVELING AROUND THE WORLD AND TRYING TO 632 00:24:12,319 --> 00:24:16,223 FIGURE OUT WHAT WE CAN DO AND HOW WE CAN SAVE THESE ANIMALS 633 00:24:16,223 --> 00:24:17,425 FROM GOING EXTINCT. 634 00:24:17,425 --> 00:24:19,693 >> Jimmy: THAT'S ONE I'LL WATCH WITH THE CHILDREN, THEY'LL LOVE 635 00:24:19,693 --> 00:24:20,026 THAT. 636 00:24:20,026 --> 00:24:21,629 >> YES, YES. IT'S FASCINATING. 637 00:24:21,629 --> 00:24:24,165 YOU LEARN ABOUT THESE ANIMALS AND WHAT THEY NEED AND WHAT WE 638 00:24:24,165 --> 00:24:25,800 CAN DO TO SAVE THEM. 639 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,637 >> Jimmy: YOU PLAY A GAME ON YOUR SHOW FROM TIME TO TIME THAT 640 00:24:29,637 --> 00:24:30,838 YOU BROUGHT TO US, ACTUALLY. 641 00:24:30,838 --> 00:24:31,639 >> UH‐HUH. 642 00:24:31,639 --> 00:24:34,375 >> Jimmy: THIS IS A GAME THAT TESTS ‐‐ PEOPLE ARE OFTEN 643 00:24:34,375 --> 00:24:36,110 SURPRISED. HIKE IF I COME HOME FROM WORK, 644 00:24:36,110 --> 00:24:39,447 THERE'S SOMEBOY AT MY HOUSE, THEY'LL SAY, WHO DID YOU HAVE ON 645 00:24:39,447 --> 00:24:41,749 THE SHOW TONIGHT? I'LL GO, I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T 646 00:24:41,749 --> 00:24:42,082 REMEMBER. 647 00:24:42,082 --> 00:24:42,415 [ LAUGHTER ] 648 00:24:42,415 --> 00:24:45,286 >> YES. I KNOW. IT'S ONLY PEOPLE LIKE US. 649 00:24:45,286 --> 00:24:48,989 I MEAN, OPRAH AND I HAVE TALKED ABOUT, YOU CAN COME HOME AND NOT 650 00:24:48,989 --> 00:24:50,624 KNOW WHO WAS ON THE SHOW. 651 00:24:50,624 --> 00:24:51,225 [ LAUGHTER ] 652 00:24:51,225 --> 00:24:54,562 IT SOUNDS SO DISRESPECTFUL TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ON YOUR SHOW. 653 00:24:54,562 --> 00:24:55,029 >> Jimmy: TERRIBLE. 654 00:24:55,029 --> 00:24:57,131 >> BUT IT'S JUST ‐‐ WE DO SO MANY SHOWS. 655 00:24:57,131 --> 00:25:00,501 AND YOU DON'T REMEMBER. I'VE GONE UP TO PEOPLE AT 656 00:25:00,501 --> 00:25:03,404 PARTIES AND NOW I'VE LEARNED TO SAY, "GOOD TO SEE YOU." 657 00:25:03,404 --> 00:25:07,408 I'VE SAID," NICE TO MEET YOU." AND THEY'RE LIKE, "I WAS ON YOUR 658 00:25:07,408 --> 00:25:07,741 SHOW." 659 00:25:07,741 --> 00:25:08,074 [ LAUGHTER ] 660 00:25:08,074 --> 00:25:10,611 >> Jimmy: ME, TOO. IT'S A REAL BUMMER. 661 00:25:10,611 --> 00:25:11,078 >> HORRIBLE. 662 00:25:11,078 --> 00:25:12,146 >> Jimmy: WHAT I DO IN THAT SITUATION? I RUN. 663 00:25:12,146 --> 00:25:15,249 [ LAUGHTER ] 664 00:25:15,249 --> 00:25:19,253 BUT ANYWAY, EXPLAIN HOW THE GAME WORKS, EXACTLY. 665 00:25:19,253 --> 00:25:22,223 >> BASICALLY, THEY STARTED DOING IT WITH ME BECAUSE I WOULD NOT 666 00:25:22,223 --> 00:25:24,058 REMEMBER THINGS THEY'D TELL ME IN MEETINGS. 667 00:25:24,058 --> 00:25:30,331 THEY STARTED PLAYING A GAME ON THE SHOW, "DID ELLEN DO THIS?" 668 00:25:30,331 --> 00:25:32,533 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO YOUR 3,000th SHOW. 669 00:25:32,533 --> 00:25:33,033 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 670 00:25:33,033 --> 00:25:33,934 >> THAT'S A LOT OF SHOWS. 671 00:25:33,934 --> 00:25:35,803 >> Jimmy: THAT'S A LOT OF SHOWS, ALL RIGHT. 672 00:25:35,803 --> 00:25:37,638 SHOULD I START WITH A QUESTION FOR YOU? 673 00:25:37,638 --> 00:25:38,606 >> SURE, YOU START. 674 00:25:38,606 --> 00:25:41,742 >> Jimmy: DID YOU JUMP IN A BALL PIT WITH BRITNEY SPEARS? 675 00:25:41,742 --> 00:25:44,845 >> THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE DONE A LONG TIME AGO. 676 00:25:44,845 --> 00:25:47,114 >> Jimmy: OKAY. IT MAY SOUND LIKE SOMETHING YOU 677 00:25:47,114 --> 00:25:48,749 DO, BUT I'M TOLD YOU DID NOT DO THAT. 678 00:25:48,749 --> 00:25:49,183 >> I DID NOT DO IT? 679 00:25:49,183 --> 00:25:53,220 [ LAUGHTER ] 680 00:25:53,220 --> 00:25:53,988 >> Jimmy: OKAY. 681 00:25:53,988 --> 00:25:55,623 >> I WOULDN'T HAVE REMEMBERED IT. 682 00:25:55,623 --> 00:25:57,358 I WAS GUESSING JUST TO BE SAFE. 683 00:25:57,358 --> 00:25:57,691 [ LAUGHTER ] 684 00:25:57,691 --> 00:26:00,594 DID YOU INTERVIEW A HOT DOG? 685 00:26:00,594 --> 00:26:02,863 >> Jimmy: DID I INTERVIEW A HOT DOG? SURE SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING I 686 00:26:02,863 --> 00:26:05,633 WOULD DO. BUT I DON'T REMEMBER IT. 687 00:26:05,633 --> 00:26:06,834 SO I'M GOING TO SAY NO. 688 00:26:06,834 --> 00:26:09,570 >> YES, YOU DID. IT WAS HARRISON FORD. 689 00:26:09,570 --> 00:26:14,975 HARRISON FORD WAS DRESSED AS A HOT DOG. HALLOWEEN 2015. 690 00:26:14,975 --> 00:26:15,676 >> Jimmy: OH. 691 00:26:15,676 --> 00:26:18,679 >> YOU WERE PRINCESS LEIA. 692 00:26:18,679 --> 00:26:22,283 >> NOW WHAT ARE YOU, EXACTLY? I SEE YOU'RE A HOT DOG, BUT YOU 693 00:26:22,283 --> 00:26:22,650 ALSO ARE A DOG. 694 00:26:22,650 --> 00:26:25,119 [ LAUGHTER ] 695 00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:29,256 >> I'M A DOG. IN A HOT DOG SUIT. 696 00:26:29,256 --> 00:26:29,590 [ LAUGHTER ] 697 00:26:29,590 --> 00:26:32,693 >> Jimmy: TECHNICALLY, HE'S A DOG IN A HOT DOG SUIT, ALL RIGHT. 698 00:26:32,693 --> 00:26:37,698 DID YOU THROW MEATBALLS AT THE AUDIENCE WITH A SUPERMODEL? 699 00:26:37,698 --> 00:26:38,031 [ LAUGHTER ] 700 00:26:38,031 --> 00:26:40,968 >> I DON'T REMEMBER THAT. 701 00:26:40,968 --> 00:26:42,536 >> Jimmy: SO NO IS YOUR ANSWER? 702 00:26:42,536 --> 00:26:43,804 >> I'M SAYING I DON'T THINK I DID. 703 00:26:43,804 --> 00:26:50,477 >> Jimmy: OKAY, WELL, LET'S LOOK AT THE VIDEOTAPE. 704 00:26:50,477 --> 00:26:53,213 >> I WANT TO THROW ONE, CAN I THROW ONE? 705 00:26:53,213 --> 00:26:56,750 >> Jimmy: NOT A CHANCE HEIDI MADE THOSE. 706 00:26:56,750 --> 00:26:57,785 >> HOW I WOULD REMEMBER ‐‐ THAT WAS LIKE 1956. 707 00:26:57,785 --> 00:26:59,453 [ LAUGHTER ] 708 00:26:59,453 --> 00:27:06,360 HOW WOULD I REMEMBER THAT? ALL RIGHT. 709 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:10,965 DID KATY PERRY EVER JUMP ON YOUR BED AT HOME? 710 00:27:10,965 --> 00:27:14,201 >> Jimmy: YEAH. YEAH. SHE DID. OH, WAIT, NO SHE DIDN'T. 711 00:27:14,201 --> 00:27:16,270 [ LAUGHTER ] 712 00:27:16,270 --> 00:27:16,637 >> NO. 713 00:27:16,637 --> 00:27:17,605 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. 714 00:27:17,605 --> 00:27:18,572 >> UNLESS THERE'S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL US. 715 00:27:18,572 --> 00:27:22,109 [ LAUGHTER ] 716 00:27:22,109 --> 00:27:23,377 >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, SHE DIDN'T. 717 00:27:23,377 --> 00:27:24,645 >> NO. SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE DID. 718 00:27:24,645 --> 00:27:26,880 >> Jimmy: YEAH, OTHER PEOPLE DID, YES. 719 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,050 DID YOU WRITE A TANDEM BIKE WITH STEVE MARTIN? 720 00:27:30,050 --> 00:27:32,586 >> I DON'T REMEMBER THAT. 721 00:27:32,586 --> 00:27:33,621 >> Jimmy: SO NO? 722 00:27:33,621 --> 00:27:34,088 >> NO. 723 00:27:34,088 --> 00:27:38,392 >> Jimmy: NO, BUT YOU DID DO THIS WITH STEVE MARTIN. 724 00:27:38,392 --> 00:27:42,496 >> I AM TAKING OUT THE KING OF HEARTS. 725 00:27:42,496 --> 00:27:49,770 AND I AM PLACING IT BACKWARDS IN THE DECK. WHOA! WHERE'D IT GO? 726 00:27:49,770 --> 00:27:51,205 >> HOLD ON I GOT IT. 727 00:27:51,205 --> 00:27:51,570 >> HM. 728 00:27:51,570 --> 00:27:51,903 >> WAIT ‐‐ 729 00:27:51,903 --> 00:27:53,841 >> WHOA! 730 00:27:53,841 --> 00:27:54,408 >> NO ‐‐ 731 00:27:54,408 --> 00:27:54,742 >> I GOT IT. 732 00:27:54,742 --> 00:27:57,411 >> YOU GOT IT? 733 00:27:57,411 --> 00:27:58,612 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 734 00:27:58,612 --> 00:28:01,181 >> YOU GOT IT? OH, OKAY. 735 00:28:01,181 --> 00:28:05,586 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 736 00:28:05,586 --> 00:28:06,086 >> OH, NICE TO MEET YOU. 737 00:28:06,086 --> 00:28:07,788 [ LAUGHTER ] 738 00:28:07,788 --> 00:28:13,193 >> Jimmy: I DON'T REMEMBER THAT. 739 00:28:13,193 --> 00:28:15,596 >> DID YOU EVER SURPRISE A GUEST ‐‐ OH MY GOD. 740 00:28:15,596 --> 00:28:19,166 DID YOU EVER SURPRISE A GUEST BY SHOWING HIM OR HER YOUR PENIS ON 741 00:28:19,166 --> 00:28:19,531 AIR? 742 00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:21,835 [ LAUGHTER ] 743 00:28:21,835 --> 00:28:24,338 >> Jimmy: YEAH. I DID. I DID DO THAT. 744 00:28:24,338 --> 00:28:27,174 I DID THAT TO GEORGE CLOONEY AND HUGH LAURIE. 745 00:28:27,174 --> 00:28:28,442 >> THANK GOD YOU REMEMBER THAT. 746 00:28:28,442 --> 00:28:29,276 >> WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? 747 00:28:29,276 --> 00:28:29,641 >> OH! 748 00:28:29,641 --> 00:28:30,844 >> OH! 749 00:28:30,844 --> 00:28:33,414 [ LAUGHTER ] 750 00:28:33,414 --> 00:28:34,381 >> WOW. 751 00:28:34,381 --> 00:28:36,784 >> MY. WOW. 752 00:28:36,784 --> 00:28:41,288 >> GOD. 753 00:28:41,288 --> 00:28:45,092 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT WAS NOT IN THE SCRIPT. 754 00:28:45,092 --> 00:28:45,425 [ LAUGHTER ] 755 00:28:45,425 --> 00:28:50,664 ELLEN DeGENERES, EVERYONE! "EL "ELLEN'S NEXT GREAT DESIGNER" 756 00:28:50,664 --> 00:28:53,133 AND "ENDANGERED" ON DISCOVERY PLUS. 757 00:28:53,133 --> 00:28:53,881 WE'LL BE BACK WITH BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG! 758 00:28:53,881 --> 00:28:55,061 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 759 00:28:57,291 --> 00:29:00,655 ♪ 760 00:29:00,655 --> 00:29:03,045 >> Jimmy: MUSIC FROM JIMMIE ALLEN AND BRAD PAISLEY IS 761 00:29:03,045 --> 00:29:04,813 ON THE WAY. WHENEVER PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT THE 762 00:29:04,813 --> 00:29:10,219 BEST MUSIC PERFORMANCE WE'VE EVER HAD ON OUR SHOW WAS, I 763 00:29:10,219 --> 00:29:11,687 REMEMBER OUR NEXT GUEST AND HIS BAND, GREEN DAY. 764 00:29:11,687 --> 00:29:13,956 YOU CAN LEARN ALL ABOUT HIS LIFE STARTING THURSDAY WHEN "WELCOME 765 00:29:13,956 --> 00:29:16,225 TO MY PANIC" PREMIERES ON AUDIBLE. PLEASE WELCOME 766 00:29:16,225 --> 00:29:19,061 BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG. 767 00:29:19,061 --> 00:29:22,064 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 768 00:29:22,064 --> 00:29:23,732 HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU. 769 00:29:23,732 --> 00:29:25,768 >> GOOD. GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO. 770 00:29:25,768 --> 00:29:26,268 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 771 00:29:26,268 --> 00:29:31,807 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU CELEBRATING? ARE YOU CELEBRATING 4/20 TODAY? 772 00:29:31,807 --> 00:29:33,575 >> NO. I'M ‐‐ I STOPPED CELEBRATING 773 00:29:33,575 --> 00:29:37,446 THAT ABOUT ‐‐ FOUR DAYS AGO. 774 00:29:37,446 --> 00:29:37,779 [ LAUGHTER ] 775 00:29:37,779 --> 00:29:43,152 >> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW, MOST OF YOUR FANS 776 00:29:43,152 --> 00:29:44,987 KNOWS OBVIOUSLY GREEN DAY, THAT'S KIND OF THE IDEA. 777 00:29:44,987 --> 00:29:48,390 THIS IS GREEN DAY. YOU CAN REALLY CO‐OPT THIS 778 00:29:48,390 --> 00:29:49,391 HOLIDAY IF YOU WANTED TO. 779 00:29:49,391 --> 00:29:49,725 [ LAUGHTER ] 780 00:29:49,725 --> 00:29:52,594 >> BE GREAT. WE COULD COME OUT WITH OUR OWN 781 00:29:52,594 --> 00:29:56,265 BRAND OF ICE CREAM WITH THC AND CBC AND ABC. 782 00:29:56,265 --> 00:29:58,333 >> Jimmy: I THINK THAT'S ACTUALLY A TERRIBLE IDEA. 783 00:29:58,333 --> 00:30:01,236 CAN YOU IMAGINE ICE CREAM? I'M SURE IT EXISTS. 784 00:30:01,236 --> 00:30:04,506 BUT YOU COULD REALLY END UP IN AN ENDLESS LOOP. 785 00:30:04,506 --> 00:30:04,973 [ LAUGHTER ] 786 00:30:04,973 --> 00:30:07,209 JUST EATING ICE CREAM UNTIL YOU EXPLODE. 787 00:30:07,209 --> 00:30:08,877 >> YEAH. 788 00:30:08,877 --> 00:30:12,514 >> Jimmy: BY THE WAY, YOU REALLY FIGURED IT OUT WITH THIS. 789 00:30:12,514 --> 00:30:16,485 SHOULD WE CALL IT A BOOK? AUDIOB AUDIOBOOK? 790 00:30:16,485 --> 00:30:17,553 HOW ARE YOU REFERRING TO THIS? 791 00:30:17,553 --> 00:30:21,590 >> I DIDN'T REALLY THINK OF IT AS IT WAS GOING TO BE SUCH A 792 00:30:21,590 --> 00:30:25,627 LIFE STORY KIND OF THING. UNTIL SOMEONE TOLD ME, OH, YOU 793 00:30:25,627 --> 00:30:26,862 JUST TOLD YOUR LIFE STORY. 794 00:30:26,862 --> 00:30:27,429 >> Jimmy: UH‐HUH. 795 00:30:27,429 --> 00:30:30,165 >> OH, OKAY. BUT YOU DO IT THROUGH LIKE SONGS. 796 00:30:30,165 --> 00:30:33,769 IT WAS GREAT TO GO BACK AND KIND OF LOOK AT ‐‐ SOME OF THESE 797 00:30:33,769 --> 00:30:38,941 SONGS THAT I WENT BACK TO, WHEN I WAS 16, 17 YEARS OLD, SO TO 798 00:30:38,941 --> 00:30:46,482 KIND OF GO ‐‐ KNOW WHERE I WAS AT AT THAT TIME, EMOTIONALLY, 799 00:30:46,482 --> 00:30:48,283 PHYSICALLY, GEOGRAPHY, IS JUST KIND OF A TRIP. 800 00:30:48,283 --> 00:30:51,987 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I KNEW YOU STARTED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG. 801 00:30:51,987 --> 00:30:54,823 I DID NOT KNOW HOW YOUNG YOU WERE WHEN YOU STARTED. 802 00:30:54,823 --> 00:30:58,327 AND IN FACT, WE DUG THIS UP. THIS IS FROM WHEN YOU WERE 5 803 00:30:58,327 --> 00:31:01,396 YEARS OLD. THIS IS A NEWSPAPER ARTICLE. 804 00:31:01,396 --> 00:31:04,566 IT SAYS, COUNTY MISS UNIVERSE TO BE ‐‐ OH, WAIT, YOU'RE NOT 805 00:31:04,566 --> 00:31:05,768 COUNTY MISS UNIVERSE. 806 00:31:05,768 --> 00:31:06,101 [ LAUGHTER ] 807 00:31:06,101 --> 00:31:09,838 ONLY 5 YEARS OLD AND ON HIS WAY UP, LOCAL YOUNGSTER TO MAKE TV 808 00:31:09,838 --> 00:31:13,342 DEBUT. AND THERE YOU ARE WITH A PRETTY 809 00:31:13,342 --> 00:31:15,344 GREAT T‐SHIRT. LITTLE BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG. 810 00:31:15,344 --> 00:31:19,515 HOW ABOUT THAT? HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN? 811 00:31:19,515 --> 00:31:27,122 >> WELL, YEARS AGO, MY FAMILY ‐‐ MY PARENTS BROUGHT ‐‐ I'M ONE OF 812 00:31:27,122 --> 00:31:30,859 SIX. SO THEY BROUGHT THE ENTIRE FAMILY, TO GIVE THEM MUSIC 813 00:31:30,859 --> 00:31:34,930 LESSONS, AND I'M THE YOUNGEST. THEY DIDN'T KNOW ‐‐ I HAD NO 814 00:31:34,930 --> 00:31:38,267 IDEA THAT I WAS ABOUT TO GO IN AND LEARN HOW TO SING AT THAT 815 00:31:38,267 --> 00:31:38,632 TIME. 816 00:31:38,632 --> 00:31:39,568 >> Jimmy: UH‐HUH. 817 00:31:39,568 --> 00:31:45,541 >> SO THIS ITALIAN FAMILY HAD A PLACE CALLED FIAT MUSIC. 818 00:31:45,541 --> 00:31:48,944 AND YEAH, I LEARNED HOW TO SING THERE. 819 00:31:48,944 --> 00:31:49,978 AND PLAY GUITAR THERE ALSO. 820 00:31:49,978 --> 00:31:53,015 >> Jimmy: DO YOU REMEMBER THAT SONG? 821 00:31:53,015 --> 00:31:56,552 I COULD PROBABLY SING IT RIGHT NOW. WHICH I WON'T. 822 00:31:56,552 --> 00:31:56,885 [ LAUGHTER ] 823 00:31:56,885 --> 00:31:58,954 >> Jimmy: YOU WON'T. WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO, BECAUSE 824 00:31:58,954 --> 00:32:03,225 WE HAVE THE CLIP OF YOU SINGING IT WHEN YOU WERE 5. 825 00:32:03,225 --> 00:32:05,794 ♪ WHEN THE DAY SEEMS TO GO 826 00:32:05,794 --> 00:32:06,127 WRONG ♪ 827 00:32:06,127 --> 00:32:11,099 ♪ AND YOU NEED SOMEBODY STRONG 828 00:32:11,099 --> 00:32:12,301 ♪ WITH A SMILE AND A SONG LOOK 829 00:32:12,301 --> 00:32:14,203 FOR LOVE ♪ 830 00:32:14,203 --> 00:32:15,504 ♪ LOOK FOR LOVE LOOK FOR LOVE 831 00:32:15,504 --> 00:32:20,108 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 832 00:32:20,108 --> 00:32:24,446 >> Jimmy: AND RIGHT INTO THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME. 833 00:32:24,446 --> 00:32:29,484 BY THE WAY, I WANT TO TELL YOU A STORY. I ACTUALLY OWE YOU. 834 00:32:29,484 --> 00:32:32,421 SERENA WILLIAMS ‐‐ I'M SURE YOU KNOW IS ONE OF YOUR BIGGEST 835 00:32:32,421 --> 00:32:32,988 FANS, RIGHT? 836 00:32:32,988 --> 00:32:34,089 >> YEAH, OH, YEAH. 837 00:32:34,089 --> 00:32:36,458 >> Jimmy: YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO BE ON THE SHOW AND I KNEW SHE 838 00:32:36,458 --> 00:32:38,861 WAS A BIG FAN. I INVITED HER TO COME TO THE 839 00:32:38,861 --> 00:32:41,697 SHOW TO SEE YOU. YOU MET HER, IT WAS VERY NICE. 840 00:32:41,697 --> 00:32:44,967 YOU GUYS TALKED. SHE WAS OVER THE MOON AFTERWARDS. 841 00:32:44,967 --> 00:32:49,872 YEARS LATER ‐‐ AGAIN, LIKE 2012 ‐‐ I WAS AT THE OLYMPICS IN 842 00:32:49,872 --> 00:32:54,109 LONDON WITH MY TWO OLDER KIDS. AND SHE WAS PLAYING IN THE 843 00:32:54,109 --> 00:32:58,580 OLYMPICS THAT DAY AT WIMBLEDON. AND GAVE US A TOUR, A LENGTHY 844 00:32:58,580 --> 00:33:01,750 TOUR, OF WIMBLEDON ON THE DAY SHE WAS PLAYING. 845 00:33:01,750 --> 00:33:03,685 AND I WAS LIKE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. 846 00:33:03,685 --> 00:33:06,922 I WAS PANICKING THAT MAYBE SHE MIGHT LOSE BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT 847 00:33:06,922 --> 00:33:10,058 FOCUSED. SHE'S LIKE, NO, NO, YOU INTRODUCED ME TO GREEN DAY, SO I 848 00:33:10,058 --> 00:33:10,391 OWE YOU. 849 00:33:10,391 --> 00:33:14,730 [ LAUGHTER ] 850 00:33:14,730 --> 00:33:15,063 [ APPLAUSE ] 851 00:33:15,063 --> 00:33:16,698 AND SHE WON THE GOLD MEDAL. 852 00:33:16,698 --> 00:33:19,902 >> YEAH. SHE'S GREAT. YEAH, I WOULD END UP ‐‐ WE WOULD 853 00:33:19,902 --> 00:33:23,672 RUN INTO HER IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES IN EUROPE BECAUSE SHE 854 00:33:23,672 --> 00:33:27,142 WAS, LIKE, KICKING EVERYBODY'S ASS IN THAT PARTICULAR COUNTRY. 855 00:33:27,142 --> 00:33:27,542 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 856 00:33:27,542 --> 00:33:29,278 >> THEN SHE WOULD COME TO THE SHOW. 857 00:33:29,278 --> 00:33:32,547 AND SHE WOULD ALWAYS ASK US TO PLAY ‐‐ WELL, SHE WOULD TRY 858 00:33:32,547 --> 00:33:35,951 TO ‐‐ I THINK SHE WOULD LITERALLY TRY TO SEE HOW FAST 859 00:33:35,951 --> 00:33:38,287 SHE COULD BEAT HER OPPONENT SO SHE COULD ACTUALLY COME TO THE 860 00:33:38,287 --> 00:33:38,651 GIG. 861 00:33:38,651 --> 00:33:40,455 [ LAUGHTER ] 862 00:33:40,455 --> 00:33:44,760 SHE WOULD END UP SHOWING UP, SHE WOULD ALWAYS ASK FOR TO US PLAY 863 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,829 "DISAPPEARING BOY" WHICH WAS A SONG THAT WE WROTE, GOD, LIKE 864 00:33:47,829 --> 00:33:51,033 YEARS AND YEARS AGO. BUT YEAH, SHE'S GREAT. 865 00:33:51,033 --> 00:33:51,833 ONE OF THE SWEETEST PEOPLE. 866 00:33:51,833 --> 00:33:53,902 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WELL THANK YOU ANYWAY FOR THAT. 867 00:33:53,902 --> 00:33:57,372 I APPRECIATE ‐‐ I REALLY MADE OUT LIKE A BANDIT ON THAT ONE. 868 00:33:57,372 --> 00:33:57,705 [ LAUGHTER ] 869 00:33:57,705 --> 00:33:58,039 >> YEAH. 870 00:33:58,039 --> 00:34:03,745 >> Jimmy: YOU SAID SOMETHING INTERESTING IN YOUR AUDIO 871 00:34:03,745 --> 00:34:06,782 PRESENTATION, WHICH WAS THAT YOU FEEL MUSIC VISCERALLY AND THAT 872 00:34:06,782 --> 00:34:10,652 SOME SONGS EVEN GIVE YOU A BAD TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH. 873 00:34:10,652 --> 00:34:13,288 LIKE LITERALLY A BAD TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH. 874 00:34:13,288 --> 00:34:17,492 >> YEAH. OR ‐‐ OR IT SMELLS. 875 00:34:17,492 --> 00:34:19,027 AGAIN, LIKE WEIRD ‐‐ IT JUST ‐‐ THERE'S SOMETHING. 876 00:34:19,027 --> 00:34:24,900 I HAVE A ‐‐ LIKE I ‐‐ FOR SOME REASON I WAS THINKING ABOUT A 877 00:34:24,900 --> 00:34:26,868 SONG, LIKE "TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART." 878 00:34:26,868 --> 00:34:27,536 >> Jimmy: YEAH? 879 00:34:27,536 --> 00:34:29,805 >> WHERE IT MAKES ME SQUINT WHEN I HEAR IT. 880 00:34:29,805 --> 00:34:31,239 IT'S LIKE I KIND OF LIKE ‐‐ 881 00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:35,477 [ LAUGHTER ] 882 00:34:35,477 --> 00:34:37,946 >> Jimmy: AND THEN DO YOU TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES? 883 00:34:37,946 --> 00:34:43,919 >> TURN AROUND, YEAH, YEAH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT 884 00:34:43,919 --> 00:34:47,622 CERTAIN SONGS. OR KIND OF LIKE YOU GO ‐‐ YOU'RE 885 00:34:47,622 --> 00:34:49,324 LIKE ‐‐ THESE FACES THAT YOU MAKE. 886 00:34:49,324 --> 00:34:52,894 OR THAT JUST ‐‐ OR ‐‐ OR, YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF WHEN A SONG 887 00:34:52,894 --> 00:34:53,695 GIVES YOU CHILLS. 888 00:34:53,695 --> 00:34:54,229 >> Jimmy: UH‐HUH. 889 00:34:54,229 --> 00:34:56,798 >> YOU HAVE THESE RESPONSES TO THEM. 890 00:34:56,798 --> 00:35:00,302 BUT YES, SOMETIMES IT'S LIKE, IF YOU HEAR, LIKE ‐‐ WHAT WAS THAT 891 00:35:00,302 --> 00:35:03,038 BIG ‐‐ THE GIRL THAT HAD THAT SONG YEARS AGO? 892 00:35:03,038 --> 00:35:05,474 IT WAS CALLED "FRIDAY." 893 00:35:05,474 --> 00:35:08,010 >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, REBECCA BLACK," FRIDAY." 894 00:35:08,010 --> 00:35:09,778 WHY DO I REMEMBER THAT AND NOT WHO WAS ON MY SHOW? 895 00:35:09,778 --> 00:35:10,846 [ LAUGHTER ] 896 00:35:10,846 --> 00:35:17,586 >> IT'S KIND OF ‐‐ YOU GET THIS SORT OF ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT 897 00:35:17,586 --> 00:35:17,951 IS. 898 00:35:17,951 --> 00:35:19,554 >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE TASTE OF VOMIT COMING UP, I THINK IS WHAT 899 00:35:19,554 --> 00:35:19,887 IT IS. 900 00:35:19,887 --> 00:35:24,126 [ LAUGHTER ] 901 00:35:24,126 --> 00:35:26,828 MAYBE YOU GET THE TASTE AND SMELL BECAUSE YOUR RECORDING 902 00:35:26,828 --> 00:35:28,030 STUDIO IS ALSO A KITCHEN. IS THAT POSSIBLE? 903 00:35:28,030 --> 00:35:30,532 [ LAUGHTER ] 904 00:35:30,532 --> 00:35:32,501 >> IT'S ‐‐ YEAH, IT'S POSSIBLE. OR IT'S A BATHROOM. 905 00:35:32,501 --> 00:35:36,471 [ LAUGHTER ] 906 00:35:36,471 --> 00:35:36,805 [ APPLAUSE ] 907 00:35:36,805 --> 00:35:39,508 >> Jimmy: BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG. LISTEN TO HIS LIFE, IT'S CALLED 908 00:35:39,508 --> 00:35:43,178 "WELCOME TO MY PANIC" AVAILABLE STARTING THURSDAY ON AUDIBLE. 909 00:35:43,178 --> 00:35:44,746 THANKS. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JIMMIE 910 00:35:44,746 --> 00:35:46,848 ALLEN AND BRAD PACELY! 911 00:35:46,848 --> 00:35:47,349 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 912 00:35:47,349 --> 00:35:47,983 ♪ 913 00:36:14,443 --> 00:36:17,929 >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS 914 00:36:17,929 --> 00:36:21,365 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 915 00:36:21,365 --> 00:36:23,901 >> Jimmy: THIS TALENTED GENTLEMAN WON NEW MALE ARTIST OF 916 00:36:23,901 --> 00:36:25,903 THE YEAR AT THE ACADEMY OF COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS ON SUNDAY. 917 00:36:25,903 --> 00:36:27,672 HIS SONG IS CALLED "FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY." HERE WITH HELP FROM 918 00:36:27,672 --> 00:36:29,407 BRAD PAISLEY, JIMMIE ALLEN! 919 00:36:29,407 --> 00:36:32,443 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 920 00:36:34,712 --> 00:36:35,077 ♪ 921 00:36:35,077 --> 00:36:48,793 ♪ 922 00:36:48,793 --> 00:36:50,695 ♪ 923 00:36:50,695 --> 00:36:51,729 ♪ SUNSET THROUGH 924 00:36:51,729 --> 00:36:54,699 A WINDSHIELD I CAN SEE IT NOW LIKE A PICTURE ♪ 925 00:36:54,699 --> 00:36:55,967 ♪ IN A FRAME 926 00:36:55,967 --> 00:37:01,472 PICTURE IN A FRAME BLUE JEANS AND T‐SHIRTS 927 00:37:01,472 --> 00:37:03,207 WHO WE WERE ♪ 928 00:37:03,207 --> 00:37:04,208 ♪ WE WORE IT 929 00:37:04,208 --> 00:37:08,713 LIKE A NAME LIKE A NAME I WISH I COULD GO ♪ 930 00:37:08,713 --> 00:37:10,915 ♪ BACK TO THOSE DAYS 931 00:37:10,915 --> 00:37:14,318 WHEN THE TOWN WAS THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOVE WAS THE ♪ 932 00:37:14,318 --> 00:37:16,087 ♪ GIRL NEXT DOOR 933 00:37:16,087 --> 00:37:18,789 SOUNDTRACK WAS A SONG IN THE DARK I MISS THOSE DAYS 934 00:37:18,789 --> 00:37:20,558 WHEN OUR DREAMS ♪ 935 00:37:20,558 --> 00:37:23,060 ♪ WERE THERE FOR CHASIN' 936 00:37:23,060 --> 00:37:27,064 BUT TIME WAS BETTER WASTED WE WERE SUMMER YOUNG 937 00:37:27,064 --> 00:37:29,800 AND LIVIN' FOR A FRIDAY ♪ 938 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:33,504 ♪ AND FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY 939 00:37:33,504 --> 00:37:47,051 FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY 940 00:37:47,051 --> 00:37:48,853 BARBWIRE ON A FENCEPOST WITH A CROSS‐WIND ON A ROAD NO 941 00:37:48,853 --> 00:37:51,088 ONE WAS ON ♪ 942 00:37:51,088 --> 00:37:52,323 ♪ NO ONE WAS ON 943 00:37:52,323 --> 00:37:54,325 FIVE‐DEEP WITH OUR HANDS UP JUST SINGIN' ALONG 944 00:37:54,325 --> 00:37:56,594 TO A HIP HOP SONG ♪ 945 00:37:56,594 --> 00:37:58,329 ♪ I WISH I COULD 946 00:37:58,329 --> 00:38:03,067 REWIND AND REPLAY WHEN THE TOWN WAS THE WHOLE WORLD ♪ 947 00:38:03,067 --> 00:38:03,834 ♪ AND LOVE WAS 948 00:38:03,834 --> 00:38:07,338 THE GIRL NEXT DOOR SOUNDTRACK WAS A 949 00:38:07,338 --> 00:38:08,572 SONG IN THE DARK ♪ 950 00:38:08,572 --> 00:38:09,573 ♪ I MISS THOSE DAYS 951 00:38:09,573 --> 00:38:11,842 WHEN OUR DREAMS WERE THERE FOR CHASIN' 952 00:38:11,842 --> 00:38:13,077 BUT TIME WAS ♪ 953 00:38:13,077 --> 00:38:14,845 ♪ BETTER WASTED 954 00:38:14,845 --> 00:38:18,582 WE WERE SUMMER YOUNG AND LIVIN' FOR A FRIDAY 955 00:38:18,582 --> 00:38:19,817 AND FREEDOM ♪ 956 00:38:19,817 --> 00:38:23,587 ♪ WAS A HIGHWAY 957 00:38:23,587 --> 00:38:30,561 FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY WHEN YOU'RE SEVENTEEN 958 00:38:30,561 --> 00:38:31,796 AND DRIVIN' ♪ 959 00:38:31,796 --> 00:38:33,564 ♪ YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT 960 00:38:33,564 --> 00:38:39,170 THE ROAD RUNNIN' OUT 961 00:38:39,170 --> 00:38:42,540 OH NO NO NO YOU JUST KEEP YOUR ♪ 962 00:38:42,540 --> 00:38:44,542 ♪ EYES ON THAT HORIZON 963 00:38:44,542 --> 00:38:45,309 'CAUSE YOU'RE 964 00:38:45,309 --> 00:38:52,683 WRAPPED UP IN NOW 965 00:38:52,683 --> 00:38:54,819 YEAH YEAH ♪ 966 00:38:54,819 --> 00:39:05,796 ♪ 967 00:39:05,796 --> 00:39:09,467 ♪ 968 00:39:09,467 --> 00:39:11,168 ♪ I WISH I COULD GO BACK TO 969 00:39:11,168 --> 00:39:16,574 THOSE DAYS WHEN THE TOWN WAS THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOVE WAS ♪ 970 00:39:16,574 --> 00:39:17,575 ♪ THE GIRL NEXT DOOR 971 00:39:17,575 --> 00:39:20,578 SOUNDTRACK WAS A SONG IN THE DARK I MISS THOSE DAYS ♪ 972 00:39:20,578 --> 00:39:21,579 ♪ WHEN OUR DREAMS 973 00:39:21,579 --> 00:39:25,349 WERE THERE FOR CHASIN' BUT TIME WAS BETTER WASTED 974 00:39:25,349 --> 00:39:27,084 WE WERE SUMMER YOUNG ♪ 975 00:39:27,084 --> 00:39:30,087 ♪ AND LIVIN' FOR A FRIDAY 976 00:39:30,087 --> 00:39:34,558 AND FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY 977 00:39:34,558 --> 00:39:39,163 FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY ♪ 978 00:39:39,163 --> 00:39:41,532 ♪ FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY FREEDOM 979 00:39:41,532 --> 00:39:44,735 WAS A HIGHWAY ♪ 980 00:39:44,735 --> 00:39:45,269 ♪ OH YEAH FREEDOM WAS A 981 00:39:45,269 --> 00:39:51,442 HIGHWAY ♪ 982 00:39:51,442 --> 00:39:51,776 ♪ OH YEAH 983 00:39:51,776 --> 00:39:59,116 ♪ 984 00:40:03,554 --> 00:40:05,389 >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS 985 00:40:05,389 --> 00:40:07,424 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 986 00:40:07,424 --> 00:40:09,527 LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. 987 00:40:09,527 --> 00:40:10,207 THE BEST OR NOTHING. 988 00:40:12,657 --> 00:40:14,500 >> Jimmy: THANKS TO ELLEN DeGENERES, BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG, 989 00:40:14,500 --> 00:40:17,637 BRAD PAISLEY, AND JIMMIE ALLEN. APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. 990 00:40:17,637 --> 00:40:19,538 TOMORROW NIGHT, PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH AND 991 00:40:19,538 --> 00:40:21,274 MAROON 5 TOGETHER AT LAST. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. 992 00:40:21,274 --> 00:40:22,441 AND I KNOW THE EDIBLES ARE PROBABLY JUST KICKING IN SO I 993 00:40:22,441 --> 00:40:23,676 WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND I CALLED 994 00:40:23,676 --> 00:40:27,176 THE POLICE. GOODNIGHT.