>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"! TONIGHT,
ELLEN DeGENERES, BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG,
AND MUSIC FROM JIMMIE ALLEN AND BRAD PAISLEY,
AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HELLO, THERE. THANK YOU.
I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
I APPRECIATE IT. AFTER AN EMOTIONAL DAY ON WHICH
THREE GUILTY VERDICTS WERE READ IN MINNEAPOLIS AND THE UNITED
STATES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I THINK WE'RE ALL GRATEFUL THAT IT WENT THE WAY DID.
IN THIS CASE, THE JURY MADE THE CORRECT DECISION, A UNANIMOUS
DECISION, WHICH AS STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
AND I HOPE THE VERDICT ITSELF BRINGS COMFORT TO THE FAMILY OF
GEORGE FLOYD AND ALL THOSE WHO MOURN HIS DEATH.
I ALSO WANT TO SAY, GOOD LUCK IN PRISON, DEREK, YOU'LL NEED IT.
THAT'S RIGHT, I HOPE YOU'RE THERE FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
TODAY ALSO HAPPENS TO BE APRIL 20th.
THE DAY ON WHICH HITLER, KILLER MIKE,AND JOEY LAWRENCE WERE BORN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, ASTROLOGY IS DUMB.
IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
4/20, OF COURSE, IS A HOLIDAY FOR POT SMOKERS AND POT EATERS
WHO CELEBRATE 4/20 BY DOING PRETTY MUCH EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO
EVERY DAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
ON A SAD NOTE, IT'S OUR FIRST 4/20 WITHOUT WALTER MONDALE, SO
THAT'S WEIRD, RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU GUYS ARE HIGH, IS THAT WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW?
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU ON THIS GREEN DAY.
INCLUDING BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG FROM GREEN DAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AND ELLEN DeGENERES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WHO IS ‐‐ I'M NOT SURE, I HEARD A RUMOR ELLEN'S BACKSTAGE STONED
OUT OF HER MIND.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
SHE'S HIDING UNDER A VERY WELL‐CHOSEN COUCH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SPEAKING OF DRUGS, OUR NEW PILLOW PAL, MIKE LINDELL, WHAT A NIGHT
LAST NIGHT WAS.
[ APPLAUSE ]
IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN FOLLOWING THIS, THE MYPILLOW GUY LAUNCHED
A NEW SOCIAL MEDIA WEBSITE FOR PEOPLE LIKE HIM WHO ARE NO
LONGER WELCOME ON TWITTER. HE STARTED IT OFF WITH A 48‐HOUR
"FRANKATHON." WHICH WAS BASICALLY HIM
PASSIONATELY RANTING FROM 8:00 IN THE MORNING UNTIL 11:00 AT
NIGHT. HE CLAIMED THAT ALMOST 92 MILLION PEOPLE TUNED IN TO
SEE THIS.
>> MIKE LINDELL SAYS FOX WON'T LET HIM ON!
NOBODY CARES ANYMORE ABOUT THE RUBBISH YOU WRITE, WHAT ABOUT MY
FRIEND WHO LOST HIS GOOGLEMAPS BECAUSE HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT
THE BORDER? WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO WRITE THAT
STORY? WHY NOT? WHAT ARE THEY HIDING, AMERICA?
WHOA, EVERYBODY WALK LIKE THIS.
DID YOU SEE ANY NUDITY IN PORTLAND?
WHAT PART DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE? MIKE LINDELL IS A CHRISTIAN?
YOU GUYS ARE COWARDS. YOU'RE DOKY. WHAT?
RAH RAH RAH RAH, KILL HIS COMPANY, CRUSH, KILL, DESTROY!
SORRY, I'M A LITTLE FIRED UP HERE.
>> Jimmy: A LITTLE?
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
TAKE ONE SIP OF AN ENERGY DRINK, YOUR EYES ARE GOING TO POP OUT
OF YOUR HEAD. THAT WENT ON LATE INTO THE NIGHT.
I LOVE THAT HE OWNS A PILLOW COMPANY AND DOESN'T SEEM TO
SLEEP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S LIKE POETRY. I HAVE TO ADMIT, I WAS GLUED TO
THIS. I WANT THE FRANKATHON TO GO ON
FOR A WEEK. MIKE LINDELL IS LIKE SAUL
GOODMAN. "BETTER CALL SAUL." HE HAD A FUNNY SUPPORTING ROLE
IN ONE OF THE MOST INCREDIBLE DRAMAS OF ALL TIME, BUT NOW THAT
HE'S GOT HIS OWN SHOW YOU APPRECIATE WHAT A CHARACTER HE
IS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT DIDN'T START OUT FRIENDLY. WHEN A STORY CAME OUT WITH A
TRANSCRIPT OF MY MONOLOGUE LAST NIGHT,THEY RUSHED IT IN TO MIKE
WHO READ MOST OF IT ALOUD. THAT WAS WEIRD.
ME SITTING IN MY KITCHEN WHILE THE MYPILLOW GUY READS MY JOKES
TO HIS SIDEKICK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
AND HE'S GOING LIKE, I WONDER IF JIMMY IS WATCHING?
YES, JIMMY WAS WATCHING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE TOLD SOME PEOPLE AT A RALLY HE WOULD PRAY FOR ME AND I
WONDERED IF HE REALLY DID.
>> WHAT DO WE GOT HERE? OH, HERE WE GO.
OH, HO HO HO!
JIMMY KIMMEL FIRES BACK AT MIKE LINDELL'S DELUSIONAL‐PALOOZA.
HOW DID HE GET IT UP THAT FAST? WAY TO GO, JIMMY.
JIMMY REPLIED, THANKS FOR ALL THE SHOUT‐OUTS, DO YOU THINK
HE'S REALLY PRAYING FOR ME? YES, I AM, JIMMY, I REALLY AM.
HONESTLY, WHEN HE SAYS HE IS PRAYERS BEFORE BED, HE'LL
ACTUALLY NAME ME? I WON'T DENY IT, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, GOOD, I'LL TAKE THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
EVEN THOUGH I KNOW WHEN HE PRAYS, GOD IS LIKE, "OKAY, OKAY,
I GET IT, I GET IT, TOO LOUD!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
I LEARNED A LOT FROM MIKE LINDELL LAST NIGHT INCLUDING THE
FACT THAT OUR PATHS HAVE CROSSED BEFORE.
>> ON MY SHOW TOMORROW ‐‐ I WAS ACTUALLY ON STAGE WITH JIMMY
KIMEL. A BOB SEGER CONCERT. HE WON'T REMEMBER ME.
WE WERE FILMING 300 PEOPLE OUT FRONT, I WAS ON STAGE, JIMMY WAS
SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME. A BIG COUNTRY SINGER.
BACK THEN HE DIDN'T MIND ME, RIGHT?
I DIDN'T MEAN NOTHING TO HIM THEN.
GOOD ENOUGH TO COME ON HIS STAGE AND SIT THERE.
NOW HE'S GOING TO TRY AND SEE IF JIMMY CALLS ME OUT.
I GOT THE PICTURE.
>> YOU GET THE PICTURE?
>> WE'LL SEE IF JIMMY MAKES FUN OF THAT.
I SHOULD PUT IT OUT THERE, ME AND JIMMY, CLOSE FRIENDS.
HE INVITED YOU ON THE SHOW?
>> HE DID, WHAT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: OH, OUT OF THE THINGS HAVE CHANGED.
I ACTUALLY ‐‐ I THINK HE'S RIGHT. I THINK WE WERE IN DETROIT.
BUT AS I RECALL, IT WASN'T A BOB SEGER SHOW.
IT WAS A KID ROCK CONCERT, BOB SEGER GOT ON STAGE AND DID A FEW
SONGS. I WAS AT A CONCERT WITH KID ROCK
AND MIKE LINDELL. LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT WOULD
TURN OUT TO BE THE HOLY TRINITY OF TRUMP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT ANYWAY, MIKE SEEMED PRETTY PSYCHED ABOUT MY INVITE.
AND IT SEEMS LIKE IT'S PROBABLY GOING TO HAPPEN.
>> HOLD ON, HOLD ON. HE INVITED LINDELL TO COME ON
HIS SHOW IN PERSON FOR AN INTERVIEW, IN BED, SURROUNDED BY
PILLOWS. JUST ME AND MIKE SNUGGLED UP
SIDE BY SIDE. JIMMY, I'LL DO THAT, BUT NOT THE
GOOSE FEATHERS GOOSE FEATHERS ARE BAD FOR YOU.
SERIOUSLY, YOUR CERVICAL NERVES. YOU NEED MYPILLOW'S PATENTED
FILL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WELL I DON'T KNOW.
WHO KNEW I WAS BEING CRIPPLED BY GOOSE FEATHERS?
I'M GOING TO TRY TO MAKE THE WHOLE INTERVIEW ABOUT GEESE.
>> I'LL TAKE YOU UP ON THAT, I WILL COME LIVE ON YOUR SHOW WITH
ONE OF MY ‐‐ WHAT HAS HE GOT HERE, CALIFORNIA ‐‐ A CALIFORNIA
KING. I WILL BRING IT THERE. THE BRAND‐NEW BED.
WE'RE JUST LAUNCHING. I WILL ABSOLUTELY DO THAT.
WE'LL BRING IN PILLOWS, YOU CAN KEEP THE PILLOWS.
I'LL GIVE YOUR WHOLE AUDIENCE PILLOWS, JIMMY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: OH, OH. NOW YOU'RE AWAKE. OKAY.
WE DON'T REALLY HAVE AN AUDIENCE, IT'S OUR STAFF HERE.
BUT WHAT I WILL PULL OFF IS A DECORATIVE COVERLET SO WE CAN
JUMP IN THAT BED TOGETHER. I'M EXCITED.
I'M NOT EVEN SURE I BELIEVE HE'S REAL. I HAVEN'T SEEN MOST OF MY
FRIENDS FOR 13 MONTHS, I'M GOING TO BE SPOONING WITH THE MYPILLOW
GUY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I MENTIONED 4/20, THAT IS BIG IN HOLLYWOOD.
WE THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE FUN TO PLAY A GAME CALLED "WHO'S HIGH
TONIGHT?"
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
IT'S A SIMPLE GAME. THREE PEDESTRIANS ON HOLLYWOOD
BOULEVARD, THERE THEY ARE, SOCIALLY DISTANCED.
WE'VE GOT THREE CONTESTANTS, ONE OF THEM IS HIGH, THE OTHER TWO
ARE NOT. AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID.
AND LET'S MEET OUR CONTESTANTS NOW. FIRST OFF WE HAVE SHAYLA.
HI, SHAYLA.
>> HI.
>> Jimmy: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
>> MARYLAND.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK?
>> I'M NOT WORKING, I'M A COLLEGE STUDENT.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE ON SPRING BREAK RIGHT NOW?
>> NO, I'M NOT.
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE ON ZOOM SCHOOL OR WHAT? SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
>> I'M ON ZOOM, ON ZOOM RIGHT NOW.
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR?
>> BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION.
>> Jimmy: OKAY. VERY GOOD. SHAYLA, CAN WE ZOOM IN ON
SHAYLA'S EYES SO I CAN SEE ‐‐ THEY LOOK PRETTY CLEAR, OKAY,
ALL RIGHT. LET'S MEET PEDESTRIAN NUMBER TWO
IS? YOUR NAME IS EXCELLENCE?
>> YES, SIR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> REALLY.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
>> JAY. JUST JAY.
>> Jimmy: JAY?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: JUST THE LETTER J.?
>> YEAH, JUST A J., REALLY.
>> Jimmy: SO WHAT, YOUR PARENTS FELT THEY'D USED UP TOO MANY
LETTERS IN THE FIRST ONE AND WENT JUST WITH J.?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OF COURSE, OF COURSE.
>> Jimmy: EXCELLENCE J., WOW, THAT'S YOUR BIRTH NAME?
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: HOW. HOW ABOUT THAT.
DO YOU HAVE SIBLINGS?
>> UM ‐‐ YES.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S HIGH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
YES?
>> THANK YOU, SIR, I AM NOT.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT? WELL. THEN YOU'VE GOT SOME EXPLAINING
TO DO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT, AND LET'S MEET ASHLEY. ASHLEY?
>> HI.
>> Jimmy: HI, ASHLEY, WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
>> FROM MICHIGAN.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHIRT?
>> THIS IS THE SHELBY COBROUG.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK?
>> STOCK SHELVES AT A HARDWARE STORE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S THE WEED BUS GOING BY BEHIND YOU.
>> I CAN SMELL IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU CAN SMELL IT, OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
IF YOU CAN STILL SMELL IT, THAT WOULD INDICATE TO ME THAT YOU'RE
PROBABLY NOT THE ONE. WE LEARNED THAT EXCELLENCE ISN'T
THE ONE. SO SHALE LA, I'M GOING TO SAY
URLT ONE. ARE YOU THE ONE, SHAYLA?
>> I AM.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE HIGH. ON OUR SHOW.
SHAYLA, WHAT DID YOU SMOKE TODAY?
>> I SMOKED A JAY, PREROLL.
>> Jimmy: J., THAT'S HIS MIDDLE NAME!
[ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT. EXCELLENCE, LET'S MEET UP AFTER
THE SHOW AND GO THROUGH YOUR LIFE, OKAY?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU ALL. WE HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU FOR
PLAYING. PRIZES FOR EVERYONE. PHOTOGRAPHS OF SETH ROGEN, NOTED
STONER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANKS FOR PLAYING "WHO'S HIGH?" WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT. BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG FROM GREEN
DAY IS WITH US.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM JIMMY ALLEN AND BRAD PAISLEY, AND BE RIGHT
BACK WITH ELLEN DeGENERES, SO STICK AROUND!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: HI, THERE. TONIGHT, HE IS THE LEAD SINGER
OF THE BAND GREEN DAY, BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG IS WITH US.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THEN LATER, TWO COUNTRY MUSIC TITANS, ALL THE WAY FROM
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE. THEIR SONG IS CALLED "FREEDOM
WAS A HIGHWAY." MUSIC FROM JIMMIE ALLEN AND
BRAD PAISLEY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
TOMORROW NIGHT FORMER PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH WILL JOIN US WITH
MUSIC FROM MAROON 5. AND THURSDAY, GAL GADOT,
ERIC ANDRE, AND MUSIC FROM KALAYO.
PLEASE JOIN US FOR ALL THAT.
[ APPLAUSE ]
OUR FIRST GUEST WEARS MANY HATS. COMEDIAN, TALK SHOW HOST, GAME
SHOW HOST, AND SHE'S REALLY GOOD AT BUYING FURNITURE AND LAMPS.
ON THURSDAY HER NEW SERIES "ELLEN'S NEXT GREAT DESIGNER"
PREMIERES ON HBO MAX. PLEASE SAY HELLO TO
ELLEN DeGENERES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: WELCOME.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HOW ARE YOU?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
>> I'M THRILLED I COULD COME. I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE.
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THESE ARE ‐‐ THESE PEOPLE, YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE THEM
NOW BECAUSE THEY'RE WEARING MASKS. BUT THIS IS OUR STAFF.
THEY ARE OUR STAFF AND CREW, YEAH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> ARE THEY WRITERS?
>> Jimmy: TWO OF THEM ARE WRITERS. YEAH.
>> BECAUSE THEY WILL LAUGH MORE AT YOU THAN ME.
BECAUSE THEY'RE WRITING YOUR STUFF.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT, EXACTLY. YOU KNOW HOW THAT WORKS.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: SOMEHOW, I DON'T EVEN GET THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S INTERESTING, YEAH.
>> NO?
>> Jimmy: SOMEHOW THAT HALO EFFECT DOES NOT HOVER OVER ME.
IT'S WEIRD.
>> I SEE THEM ENJOYING YOU. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, I HAVEN'T
SEEN YOU FOR A WHILE.
>> Jimmy: IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. I WAS ON YOUR SHOW A FEW MONTHS
AGO, SO WE GOT TO SEE EACH OTHER A PIECE OF WOOD WITH LIGHTS ON
US. BUT NOT FOR REAL.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING?
>> EVERYTHING'S GOOD. I'M JUST, YOU KNOW ‐‐ I DON'T
HAVE PEOPLE. WE HAVE SOME STAFF, BUT WE HAVE
LIKE SIX PEOPLE AND THE REST ARE ‐‐ EVERYBODY'S ON LITTLE TV
SCREENS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> WATCHING FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.
SO THAT'S KIND OF INTERESTING. BUT ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT IS WEIRD. WHEN I DID YOUR SHOW, YOU HAVE
ALL THE AUDIENCE ON TV. AND IT'S LIKE, THEY'RE AT HOME
WATCHING US ON TV, WE'RE WATCHING THEM ON TV, AND IT'S
JUST KIND OF AN ODD DYNAMIC.
>> YEAH. AND IT'S COMFORTABLE BECAUSE
THEY'RE WATCHING FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, AND SO ‐‐ I MEAN,
LIKE TODAY WHEN I SHOT, WE HAD PEOPLE FROM ATHENS AND FROM
ITALY AND FROM ‐‐ SO THEY WERE WATCHING AT 2:00 A. M.
THEN THERE ARE PEOPLE FROM OBVIOUSLY ALL OVER THE COUNTRY
HERE. BUT IT'S ‐‐ THEY'RE IN THEIR
HOME, AND IT'S ‐‐ I THINK IT'S EASIER FOR THEM, OBVIOUSLY.
>> Jimmy: WELL, SURE, YEAH. BUT THEY DON'T GET ANYTHING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, NO.
>> Jimmy: THEY DON'T GET PILLOWS, FOR INSTANCE.
THEY WON'T GET ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
>> YOU LUCKY GUY, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE HIM ON, HUH?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I KNOW, WE HAD A REALLY ‐‐ I BEAT YOU OUT FOR
THAT BOOK, HUH?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU WANT ME TO BRING HIM OVER AFTER WE'RE DONE?
>> NO, NO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE WON'T FOLLOW YOU WITH HIM, NO.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU CELEBRATE 4/20?
>> NO. NO, I DON'T. FOR YOU IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS OR
HANUKKAH, RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS MUST BE YOUR DAY.
>> Jimmy: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
THAT'S A WEIRD THING TO SAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW?
>> Jimmy: NO, NO.
>> NO?
>> Jimmy: OH, HIGH‐NUKKAH WOULD BE A GOOD HOLIDAY.
>> YEAH, YEAH. I NEVER DID LIKE MARIJUANA OR
WHATEVER. WHAT'S IT CALLED? POT, MARIJUANA?
>> Jimmy: YEAH THEY CALL IT THAT. THOSE ARE TWO OF THE NAMES
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT HAS MORE NAMES THAN SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, A LOT OF NAMES, YEAH.
>> I DON'T PARTAKE IN THE WACKY TOBACCY, I AM NOT A DOOBIE
BROTHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT ABOUT GUMMYS? HAVE YOU EATEN ONE OF THOSE?
>> I HATE POT, I HATE THE RAY IT FEELS.
SO PEOPLE HAVE PUSHED GUMMYS ON NOTHING LIKE THAT, AND AS A S ‐
MATTER OF FACT, MY ASSISTANT, CRAIG, GAVE ME A GUMMY BECAUSE
HE HAD A HARD TIME SLEEPING. AND HE SAID, JUST TRY THIS GUMMY.
AND I SAID, I DON'T WANT IT. HE GOES, NO, IT'S NOT NOTHING
LIKE THAT. EVERYONE ALWAYS SAYS THAT.
AND I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE. I WAS SO FREAKED OUT.
AND THEN SINCE THEN PEOPLE ARE LIKE, OH, YOU HAVEN'T TRIED THE
RIGHT GUMMY, YOU NEED TO TRY ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
EVERYONE HAS A THING THAT IF YOU TRY THIS, IT'S DIFFERENT THAN
THE OTHER. SO NO, I DON'T LIKE ANY OF THAT.
>> Jimmy: CAN YOU TELL WHEN PEOPLE ARE HIGH?
WELL, OBVIOUSLY YOU COULDN'T WITH ME.
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: IF I WAS HIGH, YOU'D KNOW IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THERE WOULD BE NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.
>> NO, I'VE SEEN YOU HIGH. I'VE SEEN YOU HIGH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE, INTERESTING.
>> Jimmy: WHY DON'T WE PLAY A ROUND OF "WHO'S HIGH?"
>> YES, I'D LIKE TO SEE IF I'D BE ABLE TO DO THAT.
>> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO LEAVE THIS TO YOU.
WE HAVE THREE PEDESTRIANS, WE'VE PULLED THEM INTO THIS PHONE
BOOTH TYPE THING WE CONSTRUCTED. GO AHEAD.
YOU CAN START IF YOU LIKE ON THE LEFT WITH RICHARD.
>> OKAY. HI, RICHARD.
>> HI, ELLEN.
>>RY. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
>> BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> VACATION.
>> UH‐HUH. WHO ARE YOU VACATIONING WITH?
>> MY GIRLFRIEND AND HER DAUGHTER.
>> OKAY. AND ‐‐ NEXT?
>> Jimmy: OKAY, NEXT IS AIDAN, LOOKS LIKE.
>> HI, AIDAN?
>> HELLO.
>> HI, WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
>> I LIVE HERE IN L. A. BUT I'M FROM NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE.
>> YOU'RE VACATIONING AS WELL? YOU LIVE HER IN L. A., YOU SAY
THAT.
>> YEAH.
>> I'M NOT HIGH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
DO YOU ‐‐ DO YOU SMOKE POT?
>> I DO.
>> UH‐HUH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HAVE YOU TRIED A GUMMY?
>> I HAVE TRIED A GUMMY, YES.
>> YOU LIKE THEM?
>> I DO. I DO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OKAY, ALL RIGHT. AND WHO'S NEXT? LET'S SEE.
>> Jimmy: JANICE.
>> HI, JANICE. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
>> NEW YORK.
>> OKAY. YOU'RE VERY MELLOW FOR A NEW
YORKER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THERE MIGHT BE A REASON FOR THAT.
>> YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW. WHAT ‐‐ WHAT DO YOU DO?
>> I'M A MOM.
>> UH‐HUH.
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS?
>> 14, 8, AND 3. I'M A COOL MOM.
>> UH‐HUH. YOU DO SOMETHING FOR SURE,
BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
DO YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, JIMMY?
>> Jimmy: YEAH WELL, I THINK RIGHT NOW I'M FEELING LIKE IT'S
JANICE. BECAUSE ALMOST ALL MOMS ARE HIGH
ALL THE TIME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S A NEW THING, YOU KNOW?
>> YEAH ‐‐ I'D ‐‐ LET ME GO BACK TO THE FIRST GUY. RICHARD?
>> YEAH.
>> HI, RICHARD.
>> HI.
>> LOOK AT YOUR EYES. YOUR EYES ARE LIKE ‐‐
>> Jimmy: RICHARD, YOU'RE FROM BOSTON, I FIND THAT HARD TO
BELIEVE.
>> I KNOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE A PAIR OF BRUINS UNDERPANTS ON TOO?
>> NO, THOSE ARE BACK AT THE HOTEL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> I'M GOING TO ‐‐ I'M GOING TO SAY IT'S RICHARD.
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> SORRY, NOT ME.
>> Jimmy: IT'S NOT YOU?
>> IT'S NOT? OH, WOW.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. AIDAN, IS IT YOU?
>> YES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT IS YOU, AIDAN. ARE YOU SURE?
>> IT WAS TOO OBVIOUS.
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW, HIS EYES ARE VERY CLEAR.
>> I KNOW.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU USING VISINE OR SOMETHING, AIDAN?
>> NO, MY EYES ARE JUST ‐‐ HAPPEN TO BE PRETTY GOOD
SOMETIMES.
>> Jimmy: I HAVE TO TELL YOU, THE MASKS REALLY THROW ME OFF.
I'M USUALLY REALLY GOOD AT THIS.
>> WELL, WHEN DID YOU ‐‐ HOW LONG AGO DID YOU PARTAKE?
WHAT DID YOU DO, SMOKE, OR WHAT YOU DID YOU DO?
>> I USED A VAPORIZER.
>> Jimmy: AH, YES.
>> HOW LONG AGO?
>> PROBABLY 30 MINUTES AGO, THEN FROM THE MOMENT I WOKE UP,
BASICALLY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: IT'S A HOLIDAY.
>> WOW. WOW.
>> Jimmy: AND OUR THIRD CONTESTANT, JANICE.
YOU ARE NOT HIGH, HUH?
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: NO. SO WHEN YOU SAID YOU'RE A COOL
MOM, THAT WAS JUST TO THROW US OFF?
>> YEP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: AND THE CARDI B SHIRT, JUST TO THROW US OFF?
>> NO, I'M A COOL MOM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE GIFTS FOR YOU.
WHAT ARE OUR GIFTS FOR THESE ‐‐ OH, LOOK AT THAT, BUBBLE WANDS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
JANICE, YOU CAN SHARE THOSE WITH YOUR KIDS.
RICHARD, YOU CAN BEAT SOMEBODY OVER THE HEAD WITH THAT AT THE
GARDEN. AIDAN, JUST STARE AT THOSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THERE YOU GO, THAT'S HOW WE DO IT.
>> WELL, YEAH, I'M NOT GOOD AT IT, OBVIOUSLY.
HE DID NOT LOOK HIGH, RIGHT?
>> Jimmy: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, IT IS HARD.
IT'S A DIFFICULT GAME. THERE'S NOTHING EASY ABOUT IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: HOW IS PORTIA DOING?
>> SHE'S GOOD. YOU HEARD ABOUT HER ‐‐
>> Jimmy: I HEARD SHE HAD APPENDICITIS.
>> YEAH, SHE WAS ‐‐ OH, HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.
I WAS ‐‐ SHE WASN'T FEELING WELL. AND IT WAS 7:30 AT NIGHT.
AND SHE SAID, I DON'T FEEL WELL, I WANT TO GO TO BED.
I'M LIKE, IT'S 7:30, IT'S TOO EARLY, WE USUALLY GO TO BED AT
8:30.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO I HAD STARTED ‐‐ SO CHELSEA HANDLER TOLD ME ABOUT THESE LIKE
WEED DRINKS CALLED CANN. THEY HAVE CBD OR ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE GOOD THING IS, BUT IT HAS SOMETHING THAT'S
SUPPOSEDLY ‐‐ THIS IS ANOTHER ONE. LIKE, NO, THIS IS DIFFERENT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO I DRANK ONE. AND I DIDN'T FEEL ANYTHING.
AND I DRANK THREE. THEN I TOOK TWO MELATONIN SLEEP
PILLS. AND I'M LAYING IN BED. AND I REALIZE SHE'S NOT IN BED.
AND I HEAR ‐‐ I SAID, ARE YOU OKAY?
SHE'S LIKE, UHH ‐‐ I SAID, BABY, ARE YOU OKAY? AND SHE'S MOANING.
I GET OUT OF BED. AND SHE'S ON THE GROUND ON ALL
FOURS. AND I SAID, YOU'RE NOT OKAY.
SHE GOES, I'M OKAY. I SAID, NO, UNLESS YOU'RE
PLAYING TWISTER BY YOURSELF, YOU'RE NOT OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I RUSHED HER TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. AND THEY ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YOU DROVE HER YOURSELF?
>> I DID. I KICKED IN ‐‐ MY ADRENALINE,
BECAUSE I HAD TO RUSH HER THERE. IT'S PROBABLY NOT SAFE, I
SHOULDN'T BE SAYING ANY OF THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: AT LEAST YOU'RE HEADED TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.
>> I REALIZE, YES, YEAH. AND SO THEY RAN ALL KINDS OF
TESTS. IS UNTIL THEY ADMITTED HER, IT‐
BECAUSE THEY WERE FINDING ALL KINDS OF THINGS.
THE NEXT MORNING THEY HAD TO
TAKE HER APPENDIX OUT, EMERGENCY APPENDECTOMY.
SHE WAS BEGGING FOR MORE PAIN PILLS BECAUSE SHE WAS STILL IN
PAIN AND THE NURSE WAS NOT GIVING THEM TO HER.
SO SHE STARTS OFFERING UP TICKETS TO MY SHOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: TO THE NURSE?
>> YEAH. SHE'S LIKE BARGAINING.
UPPING IT TO 12 DAYS. WHAT ABOUT THE "CHRISTMAS 12
DAY" SHOW?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NURSE DIDN'T GO FOR IT?
>> SHE TECHNICALLY COULD NOT. SHE WANTED TO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> IT WAS TEMPTING. BUT SHE'S MUCH BETTER NOW.
>> Jimmy: OH, GOOD. OH, YEAH. THAT'S SCARY.
>> YOU HAD THAT?
>> Jimmy: THAT HAPPENED TO ME, YEAH, IT WAS BAD.
>> YOU WERE ABOUT TO START A SHOW.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH. BUT I KNEW IMMEDIATELY IT WAS
APPENDICITIS. I WENT," TAKE THIS OUT."
THEY'RE LIKE, HOLD ON A SECOND, WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE THIS OUT.
OKAYING YEAH, WE NEED TO TAKE THAT OUT.
>> Jimmy: IT'S AMAZING YOU KNEW. SHE REALLY THOUGHT THAT SHE JUST
WAS HAVING PAIN, AND IT WASN'T LOCALIZED YET, SO IT TOOK
OVERNIGHT TO KIND OF LOCALIZE.
>> Jimmy: WELL, I'M A DOCTOR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BEING A DOCTOR, I KNOW THESE KIND OF THINGS.
>> DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
>> Jimmy: THE NEW SHOW IS CALLED "ELLEN'S NEXT GREAT DESIGNER" ON
HBO MAX. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>>> I'M GOING TO CALL THEM, TELL THEM THEY'RE IN THEY'LL FREAK
OUT. THEN ONCE I'VE CALLED THEM, YOU'RE GOING TO CALL THEM AND
YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE THEM THEIR FIRST CHALLENGE, OKAY?
>> I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT IT, YES.
>> OKAY. WHO'S GOING TO HANG UP FIRST?
>> WELL ‐‐ YOU'RE ELLEN. SO DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO.
>> OKAY. COUNT TO THREE AND HANG UP
TOGETHER.
>> OKAY.
>> ALL RIGHT. READY? ONE ‐‐
>> ONE ‐‐
>> JUST HUNG UP IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE, IT'S THE BEST.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT IS EL10'S NEW SHOW, "ELLEN'S NEXT GREAT DES
DESIGNER." IT PREMIERES THURSDAY ON HBO MAX.
THAT'S SCOTT FOLEY, GREAT GUY, REALLY NICE GUY.
>> HE LOVES FURNITURE, HE BUILDS FURNITURE, SO HE WANTED TO BE A
PART OF THIS.
>> Jimmy: I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ABOUT HIM.
>> HE'S REALLY GOOD, VERY TALENTED.
YEAH, SO IT'S A SHOW THAT I LOVE FURNITURE, I LOVE DESIGN, AND
I'M ALWAYS, YOU KNOW, WANTING TO HIGHLIGHT DESIGNERS SXOO WHO'S
MAKING THE NEXT GREAT COFFEE TABLE OR SOFA OR CHAIR OR
FIREPLACE OR WHATEVER. WE FOUND AMAZING, AMAZING PEOPLE.
AND THEY COMPETE. AND.
>> Jimmy: I ENJOY WATCHING IT. I LOVE SHOWS WHERE THE PEOPLE
CAN DO SOMETHING.
>> UH‐HUH.
>> Jimmy: BECAUSE A LOT OF THESE SHOWS, THE PEOPLE JUST KIND OF
WALK AROUND AND TALK TO EACH OTHER.
>> AND MAKE OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SEEING PEOPLE BUILD ‐‐ AND MAKE OUT.
>> THOSE SHOWS.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER BUILT ANYTHING?
>> NO, I'VE NEVER BUILT ANYTHING.
>> Jimmy: NEVER TRIED?
>> NO, I JUST BUY THINGS THAT ARE BUILT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I LOVE DESIGN, BUT I'VE NEVER ‐‐ I'M NOT HANDY LIKE THAT.
>> Jimmy: DESIGNING, YEAH, INTERESTING.
YOU NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT MAYBE GIVING US A SHOT?
>> WHY?
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO. NO.
>> Jimmy: YOU ALSO HAVE ‐‐ AND THIS IS FUNNY.
MAYBE BAD PLANNING. BUT YOU HAVE ANOTHER SHOW
PREMIERING ‐‐ A DOCUMENTARY, ACTUALLY ‐‐
>> THE SAME DAY.
>> Jimmy: ON THE VERY SAME DAY.
>> EXACTLY. IT IS A FILM, A DOCUMENTARY
CALLED "ENDANGERED." IT'S ON DISCOVERY PLUS.
AND SO YOU CAN WATCH BOTH, REALLY.
YOU COULD RECORD ONE AND WATCH ONE LIVE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S TRUE.
>> THIS HAPPENS TO BE FOR ALL THE ENDANGERED SPECIES.
NOT ALL OF THEM. THERE'S A LOT MORE.
BUT WE FOCUS ON SEVEN OF THEM. AND, I MEAN, THE GIRAFFE IS NOW
ENDANGERED. WHICH IS HORRIBLE. THERE'S ASIAN SONGBIRDS THAT ARE
ENDANGERED. AND IT'S INCREDIBLE THAT ALL
THESE SCIENTISTS ARE TRAVELING AROUND THE WORLD AND TRYING TO
FIGURE OUT WHAT WE CAN DO AND HOW WE CAN SAVE THESE ANIMALS
FROM GOING EXTINCT.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S ONE I'LL WATCH WITH THE CHILDREN, THEY'LL LOVE
THAT.
>> YES, YES. IT'S FASCINATING.
YOU LEARN ABOUT THESE ANIMALS AND WHAT THEY NEED AND WHAT WE
CAN DO TO SAVE THEM.
>> Jimmy: YOU PLAY A GAME ON YOUR SHOW FROM TIME TO TIME THAT
YOU BROUGHT TO US, ACTUALLY.
>> UH‐HUH.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS A GAME THAT TESTS ‐‐ PEOPLE ARE OFTEN
SURPRISED. HIKE IF I COME HOME FROM WORK,
THERE'S SOMEBOY AT MY HOUSE, THEY'LL SAY, WHO DID YOU HAVE ON
THE SHOW TONIGHT? I'LL GO, I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T
REMEMBER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YES. I KNOW. IT'S ONLY PEOPLE LIKE US.
I MEAN, OPRAH AND I HAVE TALKED ABOUT, YOU CAN COME HOME AND NOT
KNOW WHO WAS ON THE SHOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT SOUNDS SO DISRESPECTFUL TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ON YOUR SHOW.
>> Jimmy: TERRIBLE.
>> BUT IT'S JUST ‐‐ WE DO SO MANY SHOWS.
AND YOU DON'T REMEMBER. I'VE GONE UP TO PEOPLE AT
PARTIES AND NOW I'VE LEARNED TO SAY, "GOOD TO SEE YOU."
I'VE SAID," NICE TO MEET YOU." AND THEY'RE LIKE, "I WAS ON YOUR
SHOW."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ME, TOO. IT'S A REAL BUMMER.
>> HORRIBLE.
>> Jimmy: WHAT I DO IN THAT SITUATION? I RUN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT ANYWAY, EXPLAIN HOW THE GAME WORKS, EXACTLY.
>> BASICALLY, THEY STARTED DOING IT WITH ME BECAUSE I WOULD NOT
REMEMBER THINGS THEY'D TELL ME IN MEETINGS.
THEY STARTED PLAYING A GAME ON THE SHOW, "DID ELLEN DO THIS?"
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO YOUR 3,000th SHOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THAT'S A LOT OF SHOWS.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A LOT OF SHOWS, ALL RIGHT.
SHOULD I START WITH A QUESTION FOR YOU?
>> SURE, YOU START.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU JUMP IN A BALL PIT WITH BRITNEY SPEARS?
>> THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE DONE A LONG TIME AGO.
>> Jimmy: OKAY. IT MAY SOUND LIKE SOMETHING YOU
DO, BUT I'M TOLD YOU DID NOT DO THAT.
>> I DID NOT DO IT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> I WOULDN'T HAVE REMEMBERED IT.
I WAS GUESSING JUST TO BE SAFE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
DID YOU INTERVIEW A HOT DOG?
>> Jimmy: DID I INTERVIEW A HOT DOG? SURE SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING I
WOULD DO. BUT I DON'T REMEMBER IT.
SO I'M GOING TO SAY NO.
>> YES, YOU DID. IT WAS HARRISON FORD.
HARRISON FORD WAS DRESSED AS A HOT DOG. HALLOWEEN 2015.
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> YOU WERE PRINCESS LEIA.
>> NOW WHAT ARE YOU, EXACTLY? I SEE YOU'RE A HOT DOG, BUT YOU
ALSO ARE A DOG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I'M A DOG. IN A HOT DOG SUIT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: TECHNICALLY, HE'S A DOG IN A HOT DOG SUIT, ALL RIGHT.
DID YOU THROW MEATBALLS AT THE AUDIENCE WITH A SUPERMODEL?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.
>> Jimmy: SO NO IS YOUR ANSWER?
>> I'M SAYING I DON'T THINK I DID.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, WELL, LET'S LOOK AT THE VIDEOTAPE.
>> I WANT TO THROW ONE, CAN I THROW ONE?
>> Jimmy: NOT A CHANCE HEIDI MADE THOSE.
>> HOW I WOULD REMEMBER ‐‐ THAT WAS LIKE 1956.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HOW WOULD I REMEMBER THAT? ALL RIGHT.
DID KATY PERRY EVER JUMP ON YOUR BED AT HOME?
>> Jimmy: YEAH. YEAH. SHE DID. OH, WAIT, NO SHE DIDN'T.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
>> UNLESS THERE'S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL US.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, SHE DIDN'T.
>> NO. SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE DID.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, OTHER PEOPLE DID, YES.
DID YOU WRITE A TANDEM BIKE WITH STEVE MARTIN?
>> I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.
>> Jimmy: SO NO?
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: NO, BUT YOU DID DO THIS WITH STEVE MARTIN.
>> I AM TAKING OUT THE KING OF HEARTS.
AND I AM PLACING IT BACKWARDS IN THE DECK. WHOA! WHERE'D IT GO?
>> HOLD ON I GOT IT.
>> HM.
>> WAIT ‐‐
>> WHOA!
>> NO ‐‐
>> I GOT IT.
>> YOU GOT IT?
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> YOU GOT IT? OH, OKAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> OH, NICE TO MEET YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.
>> DID YOU EVER SURPRISE A GUEST ‐‐ OH MY GOD.
DID YOU EVER SURPRISE A GUEST BY SHOWING HIM OR HER YOUR PENIS ON
AIR?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH. I DID. I DID DO THAT.
I DID THAT TO GEORGE CLOONEY AND HUGH LAURIE.
>> THANK GOD YOU REMEMBER THAT.
>> WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
>> OH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WOW.
>> MY. WOW.
>> GOD.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT WAS NOT IN THE SCRIPT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ELLEN DeGENERES, EVERYONE! "EL "ELLEN'S NEXT GREAT DESIGNER"
AND "ENDANGERED" ON DISCOVERY PLUS.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: MUSIC FROM JIMMIE ALLEN AND BRAD PAISLEY IS
ON THE WAY. WHENEVER PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT THE
BEST MUSIC PERFORMANCE WE'VE EVER HAD ON OUR SHOW WAS, I
REMEMBER OUR NEXT GUEST AND HIS BAND, GREEN DAY.
YOU CAN LEARN ALL ABOUT HIS LIFE STARTING THURSDAY WHEN "WELCOME
TO MY PANIC" PREMIERES ON AUDIBLE. PLEASE WELCOME
BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> GOOD. GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU CELEBRATING? ARE YOU CELEBRATING 4/20 TODAY?
>> NO. I'M ‐‐ I STOPPED CELEBRATING
THAT ABOUT ‐‐ FOUR DAYS AGO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW, MOST OF YOUR FANS
KNOWS OBVIOUSLY GREEN DAY, THAT'S KIND OF THE IDEA.
THIS IS GREEN DAY. YOU CAN REALLY CO‐OPT THIS
HOLIDAY IF YOU WANTED TO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> BE GREAT. WE COULD COME OUT WITH OUR OWN
BRAND OF ICE CREAM WITH THC AND CBC AND ABC.
>> Jimmy: I THINK THAT'S ACTUALLY A TERRIBLE IDEA.
CAN YOU IMAGINE ICE CREAM? I'M SURE IT EXISTS.
BUT YOU COULD REALLY END UP IN AN ENDLESS LOOP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
JUST EATING ICE CREAM UNTIL YOU EXPLODE.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: BY THE WAY, YOU REALLY FIGURED IT OUT WITH THIS.
SHOULD WE CALL IT A BOOK? AUDIOB AUDIOBOOK?
HOW ARE YOU REFERRING TO THIS?
>> I DIDN'T REALLY THINK OF IT AS IT WAS GOING TO BE SUCH A
LIFE STORY KIND OF THING. UNTIL SOMEONE TOLD ME, OH, YOU
JUST TOLD YOUR LIFE STORY.
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH.
>> OH, OKAY. BUT YOU DO IT THROUGH LIKE SONGS.
IT WAS GREAT TO GO BACK AND KIND OF LOOK AT ‐‐ SOME OF THESE
SONGS THAT I WENT BACK TO, WHEN I WAS 16, 17 YEARS OLD, SO TO
KIND OF GO ‐‐ KNOW WHERE I WAS AT AT THAT TIME, EMOTIONALLY,
PHYSICALLY, GEOGRAPHY, IS JUST KIND OF A TRIP.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I KNEW YOU STARTED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG.
I DID NOT KNOW HOW YOUNG YOU WERE WHEN YOU STARTED.
AND IN FACT, WE DUG THIS UP. THIS IS FROM WHEN YOU WERE 5
YEARS OLD. THIS IS A NEWSPAPER ARTICLE.
IT SAYS, COUNTY MISS UNIVERSE TO BE ‐‐ OH, WAIT, YOU'RE NOT
COUNTY MISS UNIVERSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ONLY 5 YEARS OLD AND ON HIS WAY UP, LOCAL YOUNGSTER TO MAKE TV
DEBUT. AND THERE YOU ARE WITH A PRETTY
GREAT T‐SHIRT. LITTLE BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG.
HOW ABOUT THAT? HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?
>> WELL, YEARS AGO, MY FAMILY ‐‐ MY PARENTS BROUGHT ‐‐ I'M ONE OF
SIX. SO THEY BROUGHT THE ENTIRE FAMILY, TO GIVE THEM MUSIC
LESSONS, AND I'M THE YOUNGEST. THEY DIDN'T KNOW ‐‐ I HAD NO
IDEA THAT I WAS ABOUT TO GO IN AND LEARN HOW TO SING AT THAT
TIME.
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH.
>> SO THIS ITALIAN FAMILY HAD A PLACE CALLED FIAT MUSIC.
AND YEAH, I LEARNED HOW TO SING THERE.
AND PLAY GUITAR THERE ALSO.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU REMEMBER THAT SONG?
I COULD PROBABLY SING IT RIGHT NOW. WHICH I WON'T.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU WON'T. WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO, BECAUSE
WE HAVE THE CLIP OF YOU SINGING IT WHEN YOU WERE 5.
♪ WHEN THE DAY SEEMS TO GO
WRONG ♪
♪ AND YOU NEED SOMEBODY STRONG
♪ WITH A SMILE AND A SONG LOOK
FOR LOVE ♪
♪ LOOK FOR LOVE LOOK FOR LOVE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: AND RIGHT INTO THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME.
BY THE WAY, I WANT TO TELL YOU A STORY. I ACTUALLY OWE YOU.
SERENA WILLIAMS ‐‐ I'M SURE YOU KNOW IS ONE OF YOUR BIGGEST
FANS, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, OH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO BE ON THE SHOW AND I KNEW SHE
WAS A BIG FAN. I INVITED HER TO COME TO THE
SHOW TO SEE YOU. YOU MET HER, IT WAS VERY NICE.
YOU GUYS TALKED. SHE WAS OVER THE MOON AFTERWARDS.
YEARS LATER ‐‐ AGAIN, LIKE 2012 ‐‐ I WAS AT THE OLYMPICS IN
LONDON WITH MY TWO OLDER KIDS. AND SHE WAS PLAYING IN THE
OLYMPICS THAT DAY AT WIMBLEDON. AND GAVE US A TOUR, A LENGTHY
TOUR, OF WIMBLEDON ON THE DAY SHE WAS PLAYING.
AND I WAS LIKE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.
I WAS PANICKING THAT MAYBE SHE MIGHT LOSE BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT
FOCUSED. SHE'S LIKE, NO, NO, YOU INTRODUCED ME TO GREEN DAY, SO I
OWE YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
AND SHE WON THE GOLD MEDAL.
>> YEAH. SHE'S GREAT. YEAH, I WOULD END UP ‐‐ WE WOULD
RUN INTO HER IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES IN EUROPE BECAUSE SHE
WAS, LIKE, KICKING EVERYBODY'S ASS IN THAT PARTICULAR COUNTRY.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> THEN SHE WOULD COME TO THE SHOW.
AND SHE WOULD ALWAYS ASK US TO PLAY ‐‐ WELL, SHE WOULD TRY
TO ‐‐ I THINK SHE WOULD LITERALLY TRY TO SEE HOW FAST
SHE COULD BEAT HER OPPONENT SO SHE COULD ACTUALLY COME TO THE
GIG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SHE WOULD END UP SHOWING UP, SHE WOULD ALWAYS ASK FOR TO US PLAY
"DISAPPEARING BOY" WHICH WAS A SONG THAT WE WROTE, GOD, LIKE
YEARS AND YEARS AGO. BUT YEAH, SHE'S GREAT.
ONE OF THE SWEETEST PEOPLE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, WELL THANK YOU ANYWAY FOR THAT.
I APPRECIATE ‐‐ I REALLY MADE OUT LIKE A BANDIT ON THAT ONE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU SAID SOMETHING INTERESTING IN YOUR AUDIO
PRESENTATION, WHICH WAS THAT YOU FEEL MUSIC VISCERALLY AND THAT
SOME SONGS EVEN GIVE YOU A BAD TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH.
LIKE LITERALLY A BAD TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH.
>> YEAH. OR ‐‐ OR IT SMELLS.
AGAIN, LIKE WEIRD ‐‐ IT JUST ‐‐ THERE'S SOMETHING.
I HAVE A ‐‐ LIKE I ‐‐ FOR SOME REASON I WAS THINKING ABOUT A
SONG, LIKE "TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART."
>> Jimmy: YEAH?
>> WHERE IT MAKES ME SQUINT WHEN I HEAR IT.
IT'S LIKE I KIND OF LIKE ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: AND THEN DO YOU TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES?
>> TURN AROUND, YEAH, YEAH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT
CERTAIN SONGS. OR KIND OF LIKE YOU GO ‐‐ YOU'RE
LIKE ‐‐ THESE FACES THAT YOU MAKE.
OR THAT JUST ‐‐ OR ‐‐ OR, YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF WHEN A SONG
GIVES YOU CHILLS.
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH.
>> YOU HAVE THESE RESPONSES TO THEM.
BUT YES, SOMETIMES IT'S LIKE, IF YOU HEAR, LIKE ‐‐ WHAT WAS THAT
BIG ‐‐ THE GIRL THAT HAD THAT SONG YEARS AGO?
IT WAS CALLED "FRIDAY."
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, REBECCA BLACK," FRIDAY."
WHY DO I REMEMBER THAT AND NOT WHO WAS ON MY SHOW?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> IT'S KIND OF ‐‐ YOU GET THIS SORT OF ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT
IS.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S THE TASTE OF VOMIT COMING UP, I THINK IS WHAT
IT IS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
MAYBE YOU GET THE TASTE AND SMELL BECAUSE YOUR RECORDING
STUDIO IS ALSO A KITCHEN. IS THAT POSSIBLE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> IT'S ‐‐ YEAH, IT'S POSSIBLE. OR IT'S A BATHROOM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG. LISTEN TO HIS LIFE, IT'S CALLED
"WELCOME TO MY PANIC" AVAILABLE STARTING THURSDAY ON AUDIBLE.
THANKS. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JIMMIE
ALLEN AND BRAD PACELY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS
PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: THIS TALENTED GENTLEMAN WON NEW MALE ARTIST OF
THE YEAR AT THE ACADEMY OF COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS ON SUNDAY.
HIS SONG IS CALLED "FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY." HERE WITH HELP FROM
BRAD PAISLEY, JIMMIE ALLEN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
♪ SUNSET THROUGH
A WINDSHIELD I CAN SEE IT NOW LIKE A PICTURE ♪
♪ IN A FRAME
PICTURE IN A FRAME BLUE JEANS AND T‐SHIRTS
WHO WE WERE ♪
♪ WE WORE IT
LIKE A NAME LIKE A NAME I WISH I COULD GO ♪
♪ BACK TO THOSE DAYS
WHEN THE TOWN WAS THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOVE WAS THE ♪
♪ GIRL NEXT DOOR
SOUNDTRACK WAS A SONG IN THE DARK I MISS THOSE DAYS
WHEN OUR DREAMS ♪
♪ WERE THERE FOR CHASIN'
BUT TIME WAS BETTER WASTED WE WERE SUMMER YOUNG
AND LIVIN' FOR A FRIDAY ♪
♪ AND FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY
FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY
BARBWIRE ON A FENCEPOST WITH A CROSS‐WIND ON A ROAD NO
ONE WAS ON ♪
♪ NO ONE WAS ON
FIVE‐DEEP WITH OUR HANDS UP JUST SINGIN' ALONG
TO A HIP HOP SONG ♪
♪ I WISH I COULD
REWIND AND REPLAY WHEN THE TOWN WAS THE WHOLE WORLD ♪
♪ AND LOVE WAS
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR SOUNDTRACK WAS A
SONG IN THE DARK ♪
♪ I MISS THOSE DAYS
WHEN OUR DREAMS WERE THERE FOR CHASIN'
BUT TIME WAS ♪
♪ BETTER WASTED
WE WERE SUMMER YOUNG AND LIVIN' FOR A FRIDAY
AND FREEDOM ♪
♪ WAS A HIGHWAY
FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY WHEN YOU'RE SEVENTEEN
AND DRIVIN' ♪
♪ YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT
THE ROAD RUNNIN' OUT
OH NO NO NO YOU JUST KEEP YOUR ♪
♪ EYES ON THAT HORIZON
'CAUSE YOU'RE
WRAPPED UP IN NOW
YEAH YEAH ♪
♪
♪ I WISH I COULD GO BACK TO
THOSE DAYS WHEN THE TOWN WAS THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOVE WAS ♪
♪ THE GIRL NEXT DOOR
SOUNDTRACK WAS A SONG IN THE DARK I MISS THOSE DAYS ♪
♪ WHEN OUR DREAMS
WERE THERE FOR CHASIN' BUT TIME WAS BETTER WASTED
WE WERE SUMMER YOUNG ♪
♪ AND LIVIN' FOR A FRIDAY
AND FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY
FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY ♪
♪ FREEDOM WAS A HIGHWAY FREEDOM
WAS A HIGHWAY ♪
♪ OH YEAH FREEDOM WAS A
HIGHWAY ♪
♪ OH YEAH
♪
>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS
PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.
LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ.
THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: THANKS TO ELLEN DeGENERES, BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG,
BRAD PAISLEY, AND JIMMIE ALLEN. APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.
TOMORROW NIGHT, PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH AND
MAROON 5 TOGETHER AT LAST. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT.
AND I KNOW THE EDIBLES ARE PROBABLY JUST KICKING IN SO I
WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND I CALLED
THE POLICE. GOODNIGHT.