>> Announcer: FROM HOLLYWOOD IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"!
TONIGHT ‐‐ ANDY GARCIA, L. A. DODGER CLAYTON
KERSHAW, AND MUSIC FROM NOGA
EREZ, AND NOW JIMMY KIMMEL!
>> Jimmy: WELL, HI. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
HI, EVERYONE, I'M JIMMY KIMMEL. I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US ON WHAT
WAS A VERY BIG DAY. TODAY WAS BACK TO SCHOOL DAY
HERE IN LOS ANGELES. THIS IS BACK TO SCHOOL WEEK,
REALLY. PARENTS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR
THIS ALMOST A YEAR. OUR KIDS WENT BACK THIS MORNING.
WE WERE SO EAGER TO DROP THEM OFF, I'M HONESTLY NOT SURE IT
WAS THEIR SCHOOL. IT WAS A SCHOOL.
WHEN THE LOCKDOWN STARTED, OUR DAUGHTER WAS IN PRE‐K WHEN THE
LOCKDOWN STARTED. NOW SHE HAS HER LEARNER'S PERMIT.
SHE'S PICKING ME UP FROM WORK TONIGHT.
AFTER MORE THAN A YEAR OF ZOOMING FROM THEIR ROOMS, THIS
IS WHAT IT WAS LIKE IN L. A. THIS
MORNING.
>> GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT. OFF ‐‐ OFF TO APPLEBEE'S.
YOU KNOW, THEY'RE EASING INTO IT. THERE ARE NEW POLICIES IN PLACE
THAT MAKE SCHOOLS SAFE. SOME CLASSES ARE BEING HELD
OUTDOORS. DESKS ARE BEING SPACED APART.
SO THE KIDS AREN'T CLOSE. BULLIES ARE ASKING NERDS TO
STICK THEIR OWN HEADS IN THE TOILET. FOR SWIRLIES.
THIS IS INTERESTING. YOU KNOW WHAT HAS SEEN AN UPTICK
DURING THE PANDEMIC? BESIDES CRYING? UFOS.
OR, AT LEAST, SIGHTINGS OF THEM. REPORTS OF UNIDENTIFIED FLYING
OBJECTS HAVE SKYROCKETED. THERE WERE A THOUSAND MORE
SIGHTINGS NATIONWIDE OVER THE SAME PERIOD LAST YEAR.
MOST OF THE REPORTS CAME DURING MARCH AND APRIL WHEN THE
LOCKDOWN WAS AT ITS MOST STRICT AND WE WERE AT OUR MIDWEST HIGH.
BUT LISTEN, WHEN YOU'VE BEEN STARING INTO A RING LIGHT FOR 12
HOURS A DAY, YOU'RE BOUND TO SEE SOME CIRCLES IN THE SKY.
THANKS, EVERYBODY. APPRECIATE THAT.
[ APPLAUSE ]
NOW YOU'RE PATRONIZING. OKAY. MATT GAETZ IS THAT CONGRESSMAN
FROM FLORIDA WITH THE HAIR. HE IS UNDER INVESTIGATION BY THE
JUSTICE DEPARTMENT AND THE HOUSE ETHIC COMMITTEE.
TURN INTO A WARNER BROTHERS ‐‐ AND THE HOUSE ETHICS COMMITTEE,
AND THEY ARE INVESTIGATING ALLEGATIONS OF SEX TRAFFICKING
OF A MINOR. GAETZ MADE AN APPEARANCE AT THE
TRUMP DORAL RESORT IN MIAMI THIS WEEKEND FOR SOMETHING CALLED THE
"SAVE AMERICA" SUMMIT. IT'S HOSTED BAY GROUP CALLED
WOMEN FOR AMERICA FIRST, WHICH IS HILARIOUS, AND THEIR KEYNOTE
SPEAKER HAD A DIRE WARNING FOR THE LADIES AT LUNCH.
>> SO WHEN YOU SEE THE LEAKS AND THE LIES AND THE FALSEHOODS AND
THE SMEARS, WHEN YOU SEE THE ANONYMOUS SOURCES AND INSIDERS
FORECASTING MY DEMISE, KNOW THIS. THEY ARE REN'T REALLY COMING FO
ME. THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU.
>> NO, THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU. THEY'RE NOT COMING FOR ‐‐ JUST
YOU. LET HE WHO HAS NEVER VENMO'D A
PROSTITUTE CAST THE FIRST STONE. SADLY FOR MATT, THAT TRUMP HOTEL
IN MIAMI WAS AS CLOSE AS GAETZY GOT TO THE T‐MAN.
THE CONGRESSMAN WAS REPORTEDLY DENIED A MEETING WITH TRUMP AT
MAR‐A‐LAGO, WHICH THAT HAS TO BE A HEARTBREAKER.
MATT GAETZ WAS LIKE THE SON DONALD TRUMP NEVER HAD.
NOW HE'S GETTING TREATED LIKE THE SONS HE DOES HAVE.
THIS WOULD BE THE PART OF THE MOVIE WHERE GAETZ DISGUISES
HIMSELF AS A CADDIE AND TRIES TO SNEAK INTO MAR‐A‐LAGO.
I MEAN, HOW TOXIC DO YOU HAVE TO BE FOR TRUMP TO NOT WANT TO MEET
WITH YOU? HE'S LITERALLY PEN PALS WITH KIM
JONG‐UN. HE ONCE INVITED THE TALIBAN FOR
A WEEKEND OF "GLAMPING" AT CAMP DAVID.
AND NOW HE WON'T LET MATT GAETZ COME SEE HIM.
TEAM GAETZ PUSHED BACK ON THE REPORTS THAT HE GOT THE COLD
SHOULDER. A GAETZ SPOKESMAN SAID HE "HAS
NOT SOLICITED A MEETING WITH PRESIDENT TRUMP ANYTIME
RECENTLY." THIS, BY THE WAY, IS THE
SPOKESMAN FOR MATT GAETZ. NOT KIDDING.
HIS NAME'S HARLAN HILL. WHAT IS GOING ON THERE?
THAT IS NOT A SPOKESMAN. THAT IS A FOUR YEAR OLD DRESSED
UP AS ORVILLE REDENBACHER FOR HALLOWEEN.
THIS STORY THAT TRUMP DOESN'T WANT TO SEE HIM MUST HAVE REALLY
BUGGED MATT GAETZ. HE TWEETED "THIS IS A TOTAL LIE.
I AM ON A PREPLANNED VACATION WITH MY FIANCEE, AND THAT'S GOT
FOB A FUN VACATION RIGHT NOW. HONEY, IT'S ALL FAKE NEWS.
IT'S THE DEEP STATE. NOTHING'S FUNNIER THAN THESE
GUYS WHO SOLD THEIR SOULS TO TRUMP COMING TO HIM IN THEIR
TIME OF NEED AND THINKING HE'S GOING TO HELP THEM.
ASKING DONALD TRUMP FOR A FAVOR IS LIKE ASKING A NIGERIAN PRINCE
FOR A REFUND. YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT. OAK?
INSTEAD OF MEETING WITH MATT GAETZ, TRUMP ON ‐‐ ON SATURDAY
NIGHT, TRUMP WAS THE RECIPIENT OF THE FIRST EVER CHAMPION FOR
FREEDOM AWARD, WHICH WAS GIVEN BY A GROUP OF REPUBLICAN
FUNDRAISERS. TRUMP STROLLED IN HIS GOLF
CLOTHES AND HAD THESE FOND WORDS FOR HIS OLD FRIEND MITCH.
>> TRUMP CALLED MITCH McCONNELL A QUOTE, DUMB SON OF A BITCH.
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW. THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE MY
PRESIDENT. ACCORDING TO THOSE IN ATTENDANCE, TRUMP ALSO MOCKED
HIS WIFE, ELAINE CHAO. I SAID I HIRED HIS WIFE, DID HE
EVER SAY THANK YOU? AND HE ALSO VERY FALSELY CLAIMED
THAT THE CROWD THAT STORMED THE CAPITOL HAD OVER A MILLION
PEOPLE. HE CAN'T HELP HIMSELF. "THE VIOLENT AND TREASONOUS
INSURRECTION I DIRECTED WAS THE BIGGEST VIOLENT AND TREASONOUS
INSURRECTION IN HISTORY!" AND HE ALSO STILL WANTS CREDIT
FOR THE VACCINE. TRUMP SAID THAT SOMEONE
SUGGESTED TO HIM THAT THE VACCINE SHOULD BE CALLED THE
"TRUMPCINE." AND HE LIKED THAT. THE TRUMPCINE WOULD BE A MIX OF
ADDERALL, HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE, AND KETCHUP.
AND OF COURSE HE STILL SAYS HE WON THE ELECTION.
THIS IS GETTING SADDER AND SADDER.
IT'S LIKE SMASHMOUTH AT A COUNTY FAIR TELLING YOU THEIR NEW ALBUM
IS #1, ONLY BILLBOARD WON'T REPORT ON IT.
ONTO MORE IMPORTANT MATTERS. THERE'S AN INFESTATION UNFOLDING
IN THE STATE OF OHIO THAT I THINK DEMANDS NATIONAL ATTENTION.
IT STARTED WEDNESDAY NIGHT WHEN MULTIPLE CITIZENS CALLED
911 CLAIMING THEY SAW MONKEYS ON THE LOOSE AT A CEMETERY IN THE
EAST PRICE HILL NEIGHBORHOOD OF CINCINNATI.
POLICE OFFICERS AND ANIMAL EXPERTS SEARCHED FOR HOURS AND
CAME UP NO MONKEYS AT ALL. AND THE ONLY HARD EVIDENCE THAT
THESE MONKEYS EXIST IS THIS GRAINY VIDEO SOMEONE POSTED
OFACEBOOK.
>> THEY'RE JUST SITTING UP THERE.
THEY WERE SWINGING FROM THE TREES.
HEY, THERE IS ONE DOWN BELOW YOU. YOU CAN SEE HIM.
LOOK, SHINING THE LIGHT.
>> OH MY GOD! BECKY, LOOK.
>> RIGHT THERE. RIGHT THERE.
THREE OF THEM RIGHT THERE.
>> Jimmy: THANK GOD SOMEBODY WAS THERE TO SHOOT IT WITH A BROKEN
MOTOROLA RAZR. NO ONE IS SURE WHAT IS GOING ON.
THERE AREN'T ANY MONKEYS MISSING FROM THE ZOO IN CINCINNATI.
POLICE THINK THESE COULD FROM A PRIVATE COLLECTION, BUT NO
MONKEY OWNERS HAVE FILED A MISSING PRIMATES REPORT.
NOT ONLY THAT, THIS PACK OF MYSTERY MONKEYS IS STARTING TO
GROW. THEY NOW SAY IT'S A GANG OF FIVE.
>> FIVE MONKEYS HAVE BEEN SPOTTED IN ST. JOE'S CEMETERY.
OFFICERS AND VOLUNTEERS ARE SCOURING THE AREA OVER EAST
PRICE HILL. WE TALKED TO PEOPLE IN THE AREA
WHO HAVE SEEN THEM, AND THEY SAY THEY'RE VERY TALL, ALMOST
HUMAN‐LIKE SIZES, BIG AS TRASH CANS.
>> FIRST WE THOUGHT THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN POSSUMS OR SOMETHING,
BUT THEN WE SEEN THEM SWINGING FROM THE TREES LIKE MONKEYS.
OH, THOSE ARE MONKEYS FOR REAL.
>> OH, YEAH. SEEN THEIR TAIL WAGGING AND ALL.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. DO MONKEYS WAG THEIR TAILS?
SOUNDS LIKE MAYBE THEY'VE GOT SOME DOG MONKEYS.
THE POLICE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO CONFIRM ANY OF THESE SIGHTINGS
OR GET IN CONTACT WITH THE PEOPLE WHO MADE THE 911 CALLS.
BUT FEAR NOT BECAUSE AN AMATEUR MONKEY SLEUTH NAMED CHARLES IS
ON THE CASE!
>> WAS OVER THERE, AND THEY SHOT THAT WAY.
>> CHARLES DELF.
>> LOOKED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT THAT TALL.
>> SAYS HE SAW ONE OF THE MONKEYS THURSDAY MORNING.
HE DECIDED TO SEARCH AFTER HEARING ABOUT THE UNUSUAL STORY.
>> I WAS MAKING LIKE A GORILLA SOUND. AND ONCE I BRUSHED A TREE,
THAT'S WHEN IT WAS ABOUT THIS TALL, SHOT THAT WAY.
>> Jimmy: CHARLES, CAN YOU RECREATE THOSE GORILLA SOUNDS
FOR US? YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES TO CATCH A
MONKEY YOU HAVE TO BECOME A MONKEY.
AS OF TODAY, THE POLICE HAVE STILL NOT FOUND ANY MONKEYS AND
BELIEVE THIS WHOLE THING COULD BE MISINFORMATION.
WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS, GUILLERMO?
DO YOU HAVE ANY THEORIES?
>> Guillermo: IT'S A CRAZY THEORY.
>> Jimmy: WE MAY HAVE TO GO TO CINCINNATI TO INVESTIGATE THIS
OURSELVES.
>> Guillermo: LET'S DO IT.
>> Jimmy: WE HAVE MANY TRIPS PLANNED, GUILLERMO AND I.
AND ONE IS TO JAPAN. GAMES ARE SCHEDULED TO TAKE
PLACE IN TOKYO AT THE END OF JULY, AND WE WANT TO BE IN THEM.
NOT AT THEM, BUT AT THEM. WELL WANT TO COMPETE.
OBVIOUSLY WE CAN'T DO GYMNASTICS OR SWIMMING OR TENNIS OR DIVING,
OR REALLY ANY OF THEIR SPORTS, BUT THERE IS ONE EVENT I THINK
WE COULD HAVE A SHOT AT. SO WE GOT IN TOUCH WITH A FORMER
OLYMPIAN FROM THE UNITED STATES. WE ASKED HIM TO TEACH US
EVERYTHING HE KNOWS IN THE HOPE THAT GUILLERMO AND I WILL HAVE A
CHANCE TO TEST OUR OLYMPIC METTLE.
AND BEFORE WE SHARE THIS, I WANT YOU TO KNOW TWO THINGS.
NUMBER ONE, IT WAS RAINING AND VERY COLD.
AND NUMBER TWO, I FORGOT I WAS CHEWING GUM. SO SORRY FOR THAT.
♪
WE'RE IN THE RAIN WITH ALLEN JAMES.
YOU WERE AN OLYMPIC ATHLETE FOR THE UNITED STATES.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU PRACTICE EVEN WHEN IT'S RAINING?
>> EVEN WHEN IT'S RAINING.
>> Jimmy: YOUR SPORT IS WHAT?
>> RACE WALKING AND IT'S A 20K AND 50Q RACE WALK.
>> Jimmy: DIDN'T IT USED TO BE CALLED SPEED WALKING?
>> SOME PEOPLE CALL IT SPEED WALKING.
>> RACE WALKING.
>> Jimmy: NOW IT'S RAINING. COLD TOO. MY NIPPLES PROTRUDING.
THAT GOING TO BE A PROBLEM?
>> IT SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM.
>> Jimmy: ON THE COURSE.
>> NO, NOT AT ALL.
>> Jimmy: SO TELL US ABOUT YOUR SPORT.
IN FACT, LET'S LOOK AT SOME VIDEO OF YOUR SPORT HERE.
THAT'S HOW I WALK WHEN I REALLY HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM?
IS THAT THE KIND OF THING WE'RE GOING TO DO?
>> THAT'S THE KIND OF THING WE'RE GOING TO DO.
>> Jimmy: NOW THESE PEOPLE ARE WALKING AS FAST AS THEY CAN.
>> A LOT OF THEM ARE WALKING AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN WITHIN THE RULES.
>> Jimmy: WHAT ARE THE RULES?
>> THE RULES ARE AS ONE FOOT LANDS, THE OTHER IS LEAVING THE
GROUND. SO THERE IS CONTACT WITH THE
GROUND.
>> Jimmy: YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE TOUCHING THE GROUND WITH YOUR
FEET?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RUNNING.
>> WHEN YOU'RE UP OFF THE AIR AND RUNNING, YOU'RE BOUNCING OFF
THE GROUND.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. TEACH US.
>> THE KEY IS TO LAND ON YOUR HEEL.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> AND THEN YOU KIND OF ROLL FORWARD.
YOU CAN BEND YOUR KNEE AS IT COMES THROUGH, GUILLERMO.
>> Jimmy: ARE THEY WATCHING REALLY CLOSELY?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND DO PEOPLE GET PENALIZED A LOT?
IS IT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS REGULARLY?
>> YOU CAN GET THREE DISQUALIFICATION CALLS, AND THEN
ON THE FOURTH THEY MAKE YOU SIT IN A PENALTY BOX.
>> Jimmy: WOW. THERE IS A PENALTY BOX.
I LIKE A SPORT WITH A PENALTY BOX.
>> CAN I GO AWAY FOR YOU AT THE PENALTY BOX?
>> DO YOU REALIZE THE MEXICANS HAVE WON MORE MEDALS IN RACE
WALKING THAN ANY OTHER?
>> Jimmy: IS THAT TRUE, GUILLERMO?
>> THAT'S TRUE, BUT WE GO LIKE THIS.
>> YOU'RE GETTING BETTER. MUCH BETTER. WAIT.
>> Jimmy: WAIT, HOLD ON. OH MY GOODNESS.
HE IS NOT KIDDING AROUND.
>> HE IS READY. OKAY.
>> Jimmy: LOOK AT YOU, GUILLERMO.
>> SO I'M GOING HAVE YOU GUYS START OFF.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR ARMS. YOU'RE GOING TO SWING THEM.
>> Jimmy: WAVE OUR ARMS IN THE AIR LIKE WE JUST DON'T CARE?
>> SURE, LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE.
BUT YOU'RE GOING TO STEP OUT AND KIND OF WALK WITH A STRAIGHT LEG
AND BEND ‐‐ YOU'RE DOING PERF PERFECTLY JAMIE, PERFECTLY.
PICK UP THE PACE A LITTLE BIT. A NICE ROLL FROM YOUR HEEL TO
YOUR TOES.
>> Jimmy: AND THIS IS COOL AS FAR AS PICKING UP WOMEN GOES?
>> UH ‐‐
>> Guillermo: SO WE GO HOME NOW?
>> ARE YOU COLD?
>> Jimmy: HERE, LET ME WARM YOU UP. SEE?
WHEN YOU'RE IN COMPETITION, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE UNFRIENDLY.
>> RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: I'M STARTING TO GET AN ERECTION. LET'S SEPARATE.
I'D REALLY LIKE TO SEE YOU GO FULL SPEED AND KIND OF SEE HOW
IT'S REALLY DONE.
>> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: UH‐OH, HE IS TAKING OFF HIS SHIRT.
>> Guillermo: OH MY GOD.
>> HERE. TAKE THAT. I'LL START OFF SLOW.
>> Jimmy: IT'S LIKE WALKING WHEN SOMETHING IS WRONG.
>> Guillermo: YEAH. GOOD JOB, KEEP DOING IT, KEEP
DOING IT GOOD JOB!
>> Jimmy: I FEEL LIKE COY BE ALMOST THAT FAST.
LIKE IF WE WERE RACING A SPRINTER, LIKE IF WE WERE
RUNNING AGAINST USAIN BOLT, HE WOULD BLOW BY US, BUT WE COULD
MAYBE HANG.
>> Guillermo: SHOULD WE TRY IT?
>> Jimmy: DO YOU MIND IF WE TRY TO RACE YOU, BUT FOR REAL.
WE WANT YOU TO REALLY RACE US.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: HE'S GOING TO START BACK THERE, AND WE'RE GOING
START RIGHT HERE. ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET, GO!
>> Guillermo: JIMMY, DON'T LET HIM CATCH UP!
♪
[ APPLAUSE ]
[ BLEEP ]
[ HORN ]
>> Jimmy: DID WE HAVE GOOD FORM? YEAH?
>> YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T SEE IT ONCE YOU GOT MY ANY TAIL, THE
SMOKE.
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> I COULDN'T SEE THE FORM. ABSOLUTELY.
>> Jimmy: YOU WANT A GUMMY? HONESTLY, ON A SCALE OF ONE TO
TEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> GUILLERMO, YOU'RE PROBABLY A 3 OR 4.
I THINK WITH YOUR BUILD YOU COULD ABOUT A 4 TO 5.
A LITTLE BIT OF WORK.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD.
>> IT'S YOUR FIRST TIME DOING IT.
>> Jimmy: WE'LL TAKE IT. YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE'RE GOING TO TRY A NUMBER OF EVENT, AND WE THINK THIS MAY BE
THE ONE FOR US TO GET INTO THE OLYMPICS OF 2021 OR 2 OR
WHENEVER THEY HAPPEN. APPRECIATE IT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: IT STOPPED RAINING.
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, IT DOESN'T ALWAYS PAY TO BE EARLY.
WHAT'S NEXT, WHAT DO YOU THINK? YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING?
>> Guillermo: WHAT?
>> Jimmy: BADMINTON.
>> Guillermo: OH, WOW.
>> Jimmy: THINK ABOUT IT. WE'VE GOT A GOOD SHOW TONIGHT.
FROM THE WORLD CHAMPION LOS ANGELES DODGERS CLAYTON KERSHAW
IS HERE. WE HAVE MUSIC FROM NOGA EREZ,
AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ANDY GARCIA. SO STICK AROUND.
♪
>> Jimmy: TONIGHT FROM THE WORLD SERIES CHAMPION LOS ANGELES
DODGERS CLAYTON KERSHAW WILL JOIN US.
THEN LATER A TALENTED ARTIST FROM TEL AVIV. THIS IS HER ALBUM.
IT'S CALLED "KIDS." MAKING HER TELEVISION DEBUT FROM
A FLOWER SHOP ALL THE WAY IN ISRAEL MUSIC FROM NOGA EREZ.
THIS WEEK WE HAVE NEW SHOWS WITH JOHN STAMOS, TERRY CREWS AND
CORINNE FOXX. AND WE WILL HEAR MUSIC FROM EASY
LIFE, ZOE WEES AND GRETA VAN FLEET.
OUR FIRST GUEST IS A CUBAN‐BORN MIAMI‐RAISED, OSCAR AND GOLDEN
GLOBE‐NOMINATED ACTOR WHO FOR SOME UNFATHOMABLE REASON HAS
DECIDED TO SPEND HIS 65th BIRTHDAY WITH US HERE TONIGHT.
HE STARS ALONGSIDE KATEY SAGAL IN THE NEW LEGAL DRAMA "REBEL."
IT AIRS THURSDAYS AT 10 HERE ON ABC. PLEASE WELCOME ANDY GARCIA.
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
WOW.
WE'RE HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE ON YOUR 65th BIRTHDAY, BUT NOT FOR
YOU.
>> I'M HAPPY I'M HERE ON MY 65th BIRTHDAY.
>> Jimmy: WE FEEL SAD FOR YOU HAVE TO BE HERE ON YOUR 65th
BIRTHDAY.
>> I ONLY HAVE 40 FRIENDS. JIMMY WANTS ME ON THE SHOW ON MY
BIRTHDAY? WOW.
>> Jimmy: I'M HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE.
HONESTLY, I WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED YO HAD I KNOWN IT WAS YOUR
BIRTHDAY TODAY. BUT NOW THAT I DO, I'M GLAD
YOU'RE HERE.
>> IT'S A PLEASURE ALWAYS TO SEE YOU, JIM.
>> Jimmy: FANTASTIC FOR 65 YEARS OLD. YOU. DO YOU DO.
I'M SURE IT'S MOSTLY GENETIC, BUT DO YOU MOISTURIZE?
>> IN ALL THE IMPORTANT PLACES.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. WE WOULDN'T WANT TO LET THIS GO
UNCELEBRATED. SO WE HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING.
I THINK WE SHOULD SING HERE. AND HERE WE GO.
HERE COMES GUILLERMO.
♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR ANDY,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! A LOT OF CANDLES.
[ APPLAUSE ]
DON'T LIGHT YOUR TIE ON FIRE. HE'S STILL GOT IT!
LOOK AT THAT.
HERE IS A LITTLE CUBA LINEBACBR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
AND ONE FOR YOU TOO, GUILLERMO, OF COURSE.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, MY FRIEND. THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
WE'RE PLANNING TO PUT 65 CIGARS ON THE CAKE, BUT IT WAS A FIRE
HAZARD. WHAT IS YOUR FONDEST BIRTHDAY
MEMORY? DO YOU HAVE, BESIDES THIS,
OBVIOUSLY.
>> YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK I HAVE ‐‐ I MEAN.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DID YOU DO WHEN YOU WERE 21?
>> I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.
>> Jimmy: 18?
>> NO, I DON'T REMEMBER.
>> Jimmy: 10?
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: DO I HEAR 5?
>> NO. I ALWAYS ‐‐ I REALLY BASICALLY
JUST SPEND IT MOST OF THE TIME ‐‐ I GUESS WHEN I TURNED
MAYBE ‐‐ MAYBE 50, THEY SURPRISED ME AT THE HOUSE.
>> Jimmy: AH.
>> A BIG ALL FRIENDS.
>> Jimmy: INTRUDERS OR FAMILY AND FRIENDS? BOTH.
>> AND I WAS REALLY SURPRISED, YOU KNOW.
THE FUNNY THING WAS, NOW THAT I FLASH ON IT, I HAD SOME FRIENDS
COMING FROM FLORIDA, OLD FRIENDS OF MINE SAYING THAT THEIR KIDS
WERE GOING TO LOOK AT LOYOLA MARYMOUNT AND LOCAL SCHOOLS.
I WAS GREAT, COME STAY AT THE HOUSE, WHATEVER.
WE WENT TO GO PLAY GOLF. AND THEN WE'RE AT THE GOLF
COURSE, AND THEY SAID YOUR WIFE SLIPPED AND HER KNEE, SHE BLEW
OUT HER KNEE. WE GOT TO GET HOME RIGHT AWAY.
>> Jimmy: WHAT?
>> AND I'M GOING OH, GOD, ON MY BIRTHDAY, KNEE BLEW OUT.
AND I GET HOME. WE RUSH HOME. IT WASN'T FAR, IN TOLUCA LAKES,
AND AS I'M PULLING IN, I SEE THE KEYBOARD PLAYER IN MY BAND
UNLOADING A KEYBOARD LIKE HALF A BLOCK DOWN MY ROAD.
I'M GOING LIKE WHAT THE HELL. ALBERTO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
HIS EYES WENT LIKE THIS. HE SAID I'M ‐‐ OH, YOU LIVE HERE?
I'M DOING A PARTY NEXT DOOR. AND I SAID COME OVER AFTER.
I'LL BE HOME, YOU KNOW. AND THEN, YOU KNOW, I STARTED TO
WALK IN, AND I STARTED TO CLICK, YOU KNOW.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. AND THEN I OPEN THE DOOR AND
THERE WAS I DON'T KNOW.
>> Jimmy: SO I THINK WHAT YOU'RE TELLING US.
>> THAT WOULD BE THE FUN, 50.
>> Jimmy: THE FACT THAT YOU PLAY A DETECTIVE IN MOVIES DOES NOT
MEAN YOU ARE A DETECTIVE IN REAL LIFE?
>> I'M NOT A DETECTIVE. I'M NOT COLOMBO.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU SEE THE BIRTHDAYS, THEY HAVE THE DRI
DRIVE‐BY BIRDS?
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: WE WANTED TO SHOW OUR APPRECIATION.
WE HAVE A WALK‐BY BIRTHDAY PARTY. LET'S GO OUT ON THE STREET.
THESE PEOPLE ‐‐ HELLO, EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME, LADIES?
HI, LADIES.
>> HI.
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU? IT'S JIMMY KIMMEL.
I'M INSIDE THE BUILDING.
>> HI.
>> Jimmy: AND I'M HERE WITH A VERY SPECIAL PERSON.
HIS NAME IS ANDY GARCIA. THE ACTOR.
ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH ANDY?
>> I AM.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: WELL, IT'S HIS 65th BIRTHDAY TODAY.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANDY?
>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDY!
>> YOU CAN TALK TO THEM, ANDY.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH. BE SAFE!
>> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. THERE YOU GO. OKAY.
WELL, THAT WAS NICE, RIGHT? A WALK‐BY. GOT TO GO.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU'RE A BIG DODGERS FAN.
WE'VE ALSO ARRANGED FOR CLAYTON KERSHAW TO BE A PART OF YOUR
BIRTHDAY, BUT HE'S NOT ACTUALLY HERE AND YOU WON'T SEE HIM.
>> WELL, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE IN
OUR RELATIONSHIP.
>> Jimmy: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU THROWN OUT THE FIRST PITCH
AT DODGERS STADIUM?
>> TWICE.
>> Jimmy: TWO TIMES. WE HAVE PHOTOS FROM BOTH OF
THOSE TIMES. SO THE FIRST ONE ‐‐ WELL, YOUR
FORM IS NOT BAD. BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU REALLY
IMPROVED BY THE SECOND TIME AROUND.
HAVE YOU BEEN CUBA LIBRE'ING IT UP A LITTLE BIT BEFORE THE FIRST
ONE?
>> NO, JUST BEFORE THE SHOW.
>> Jimmy: WAS THAT A THRILL FOR YOU?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: OR WAS THAT SOMETHING THAT MADE YOU NERVOUS?
>> AT LEAST ONE OF THE TIMES, OR MAYBE BOTH OF THE TIMES WAS
CUBAN HERITAGE DAY.
>> Jimmy: OH, OKAY.
>> SO I'M THE ONLY CUBAN IN L. A. CALL ANDY. HERE COME OVER.
GIVE HIM A COUPLE OF HOT DOGS. HE'LL BE FINE.
LIKE A TRAIL OF HOT DOGS.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU BEEN A DODGERS FAN SINCE YOU WERE A KID?
>> SINCE I CAME TO L. A. IN THE LATE '70s, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: IS IT TRUE WHEN YOU CAME TO L. A., YOU WORKED ON A
DOCK WITH BRYAN CRANSTON?
>> YES. WE WORK AT THE ROADWAY DOCK.
YOU KNOW THOSE ‐‐ THOSE 40‐FOOT TRUCKS THAT SAY ROADWAY.
>> Jimmy: ROADWAY, YEAH.
>> WE WORKED ON THOSE DOCKS IN THE CITY OF COMMERCE, ALL NIGHT
FROM 7:00 AT NIGHT, SOMETHING LIKE THAT, TO 7:00 IN THE
MORNING.
>> Jimmy: SO THERE IS NO WATER NEAR THE DOCK YOU WERE WORKING
ON?
>> NO, NO.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A LITTLE WEIRD?
>> A BIG SORT OF LIKE ‐‐ IT LOOKS LIKE THE TRACK OF A ‐‐
TRACK AND FIELD, LIKE AN OVAL. AND THEY ALL BACK INTO THAT.
YOU EVEN STRIP AN ENTIRE 40‐FOOTER BY YOURSELF OR YOU
LOAD ONE BY YOURSELF.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU GET TO KNOW BRYAN AT THAT TIME?
>> NOT REALLY. WE KIND OF REMEMBERED EACH OTHER.
HE SAID HEY, I REMEMBER YOU WERE THERE.
WE KIND OF LATER ON, YOU KNOW. WHEN WE MET AS WORKING ACTORS.
WHO WOULD HAVE EVER GUESSED. AND YOU GUYS ARE THE SAME AGE.
WHO THE WOULD GUESS TWO GUYS WORKING ON THAT DOCK WOULD GO ON
TO BECOME THESE SUPERSTAR.
>> IT'S CRAZY, MAN. I REMEMBER WHENEVER YOU HAD A
LONG PIECE OF EQUIPMENT YOU HAD TO UNLOAD AND YOU COULDN'T DO IT
BY YOURSELF, YOU WOULD ASK A FELLOW GUY NEXT DOOR, BECAUSE
THESE TRUCKS ARE LOADED UP. THERE IS HUNDREDS OF THEM LIKE
AROUND THIS TRACK. YOU SAY HEY, CAN YOU GIVE ME A
HAND? SO I'M ‐‐ THERE WAS A LONG ‐‐
BETWEEN YOU AND ME, LIKE A BIG THING WE'RE CARRYING LIKE THIS.
AND THE GUY SAYS HEY, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU MUCH.
I COME HERE PART TIME. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH, I'M OUT HERE LOOKING FOR WORK AS AN ACTOR.
AND THE GUY SAYS OH, I'M A PRODUCER.
YOU GOT TO START SOMEWHERE, I GUESS. PRODUCER'S OUT OF WOR.
>> Jimmy: ANDY GARCIA IS HERE. HIS SHOW IS CALLED "REBEL."
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ]
>>> I STARTED RUNNING BACKGROUND CHECKS ON ALL THE POTENTIAL
PLAINTIFFS.
>> I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE BACKGROUND CHECKS YET.
I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE STUDY. WHO IS OVERSEEING IT?
>> DR. NATHANIEL DEFLYNN.
>> NATE?
>> YES.
>> YOUR SON?
>> YES.
>> THE GYNECOLOGIST?
>> DON'T SAY IT LIKE IT'S A DIRTY WORD.
>> OH, YOUR SON THE GYNECOLOGIST IS OVERSEEING A HEART VALVE
STUDY.
>> HE IS CONSULTING WITH A CARDIOLOGIST AND HE IS PERFECTLY
QUALIFIED.
>> YOU LIED TO ME.
>> I DID NOT LIE. HE IS DOING A STUDY.
>> THAT IS ANDY GARCIA AND KATIE
SAGAL IN THE NEW SHOW "REBEL." YOU PLAYED HER BOSS.
>> SHE IS NOT TECHNICALLY A LAWYER.
SHE IS NOT A LAWYER ACTUALLY. SHE BRINGS ME ALL HER PRO BONO
CASES AND ALL THE STUFF TO MY OFFICE AND KIND OF COERCES ME
INTO ‐‐
>> Jimmy: GOT YOU. THIS IS BASED ON ERIN
BRCKOVICH'S ‐‐
>> INSPIRED BY HER CHARACTER BUT IT'S A FICTIONAL CHARACTER, AS
IS MINE.
>> Jimmy: SO SHE DIDN'T HAVE A VERSION OF.
>> YEAH, SHE DID. SHE HAD A LAWYER SHE WORKED WITH.
ALBERT FINNEY PLAYED HIM IN THE FILM. OR PLAYED A FICTIONALIZED.
I'M NOT SURE. SHE ALWAYS HAD TO WORK WITH A
LAW FIRM IN ORDER TO TRY THE CASES, YOU KNOW.
>> Jimmy: YOUR DAUGHTER IS ON THE SHOW.
DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR DAUGHTER DANIELLE WAS ON THE SHOW? YEAH.
SHE IS ON THE SHOW WITH YOU.
>> REALLY? WHICH ONE WAS SHE?
>> Jimmy: SHE IS THE ONE WHO IS NOT YOUR LOVE INTEREST. YES. YES.
>> WOW.
>> Jimmy: HOW MANY OF YOUR KIDS ARE ACTING NOW?
>> MY OLDEST DAUGHTER DOMINIQUE AND DANIELA, MY MIDDLE DAUGHTER,
AND MY OTHER DAUGHTER IS A MODEL AND MY SON IS IN MUSIC SCHOOL IN
LOYOLA IN NEW ORLEANS.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S YOUR OTHER LOVE, REALLY, MUSIC?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: IS HE STUDYING? A PERCUSSIONIST?
>> HE IS A PERCUSSIONIST, BUT HE IS IN A MUSIC INDUSTRY PROGRAM.
HE IS A GREAT DJ, A REALLY WONDERFUL DJ.
HE HAS REALLY BEEN DEDICATING A LOT OF HIS TIME TO THOSE SKILLS.
BUT HE PLAYS PERCUSSION AND STUFF.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU LIKE THAT YOUR KIDS ARE DOING THIS STUFF?
>> I LOVE MY KIDS.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU TOLD THEM YOU GOT TO GO WORK ON THE DOCK IN
THE CITY OF INDUSTRY?
>> THEY HAVEN'T GONE THROUGH THAT.
>> Jimmy: THEY HAVE NOT?
>> THEY UNDERSTAND THAT DAD DID. BUT THEY'VE HAD ‐‐ THEY HAVE,
YOU KNOW ‐‐ IT'S A DIFFERENT THING, YOU KNOW.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY SO FAR?
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: LET'S GO BACK OUT ON THE STREET AND SEE IF WE CAN ‐‐
WELL, THERE GOES A GUY. WE MISSED HIM. HELLO THERE, HI.
HELLO!
>> HI.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU A FAMILY?
>> WE ARE.
>> Jimmy: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
>> SEATTLE, WASHINGTON.
>> Jimmy: OH, WELCOME TO L. A. WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> COLLEGE TOURING.
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW. WHAT SCHOOLS ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
>> CAL POLY AND CHAPMAN.
>> Jimmy: VERY GOOD. MAY I ASK, HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE
ACTOR ANDY GARCIA?
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: GUESS WHAT DAY TODAY IS?
>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
>> Jimmy: WOW! WOW! I SWEAR THAT WAS NOT SET UP.
HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS ANDERSEN'S BIRTHDAY?
>> WE'RE OMNISCIENT.
>> Jimmy: THE WHOLE FAMILY?
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, THAT'S GOT TO BE A PAIN IN THE ASS AT
THANKSGIVING. WELL THANKS FOR WISHING ANDY A
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. HE WAS JUST TELLING US HE WAS
HOPING SOME STRANGERS FROM SEATTLE WOULD.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. THANKS. THERE YOU GO.
SEE THAT, ANDY? YOU STILL GOT IT. WELL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
THANKS FOR BEING WITH US. I APPRECIATE IT.
>> I APPRECIATE YOU.
>> Jimmy: ANDY GARCIA, "REBEL" IS HIS SHOW, THURSDAY NIGHTS,
10:00 HERE ON ABC. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CLAYTON
KERSHAW.
[ APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK. MUSIC FROM NOGA EREZ IS ON THE
WAY. OUR NEXT GUEST IS A FUTURE HALL
OF FAMER. AN ALL‐AROUND GOOD GUY. AND ON THE DAYS HE'S NOT
PITCHING AT DODGER STADIUM, HE'LL VACCINATE YOU TOO.
THAT'S TRUE. FROM OUR WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
LOS ANGELES DODGERS, PLEASE WELCOME THREE‐TIME CY YOUNG
AWARD WINNER CLAYTON KERSHAW.
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ]
HEY, CLAYTON.
>> HEY, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M GREAT, MAN.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, CLAYTON, I HAVE TO SAY, I IMAGINE THAT YOU
WOULD HAVE A SERIES OF TROPHIES BEHIND YOU, BUT IT SEEMS TO BE A
REGULAR HOUSE YOU'RE IN.
>> YEAH, JUST PICTURES, HUH. NO TROPHY HERE IS.
>> Jimmy: AND THEN THERE IS ONE OF THOSE CORAL THINGS THAT YOU
TAKE FROM THE SEA.
>> YEAH, I GOT TO TELL YOU, I THINK ELLEN WORKED ON THIS FOR
PROBABLY 30 MINUTES BEFORE THIS. SHE REALLY WANTED TO MAKE SURE
IT LOOKED GOOD FOR YOU.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, IF YOU SQUAT DOWN A LITTLE BIT, IF YOU
SCRUNCH DOWN, AND GO TO YOUR LEFT, YOU WILL LOOK LIKE YOU
HAVE ANTLERS. YEAH.
>> IT'S A FUN GAME!
>> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF FUN, I WOULD IMAGINE THAT THIS WEEKEND
WAS A FUN ONE FOR YOU.
>> OH, IT WAS A BLAST. IT WAS JUST ‐‐ THERE ARE SO MANY
GREAT THINGS. OBVIOUSLY STARTING WITH THE RING.
BUT WE HAD FANS BACK AT DODGER STADIUM.
[ APPLAUSE ]
IT WAS AWESOME.
>> Jimmy: YOU GOT A SWEEP. YOU SWEPT THE NATIONALS.
YOU THREW A SHUT‐OUT. I MEAN, THAT'S, YOU KNOW, THAT'S
A HECK OF A WAY TO COME BACK.
>> YEAH. IT WAS AWESOME. IT'S BEEN A BLAST SO FAR.
IT REALLY HAS. OBVIOUSLY, THE LAST YEAR WAS
GREAT. AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS
YEAR TOO. IT'S GOING TO BE PRETTY SPECIAL.
>> Jimmy: IT'S GOING WELL. YOU GUYS HAVE THE BEST RECORD IN
BASEBALL RIGHT NOW. OF COURSE IT'S VERY EARLY.
BUT YOU DID GET YOUR RING THIS WEEKEND TOO.
>> I DID GET MY RING. I DID.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S EXCITING.
>> IT IS.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE THE RING? CAN YOU SHOW IT TO US?
>> YEAH YOU WANT TO SEE IT?
>> Jimmy: I'D LOVE TO SEE IT.
>> YOU GOT TO SEE THE BOX FIRST.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, GREAT.
>> SO HERE IS THE BOX. AND THEN GOT YOUR NAME ON IT.
AND THEN OPEN IT UP, AND IT'S GOT LIKE A HIGHLIGHT VIDEO.
YOU SEE THAT?
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH. WOW!
>> AND THEN I'LL TAKE THIS OUT FOR YOU TOO.
YOU SEE IT A LITTLE UP CLOSE LIKE.
>> Jimmy: WOW! THAT'S AWESOME.
>> YEAH. NOT TOO BAD.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I HAVE ONE OF THOSE IN MY REFRIGERATOR.
EVERY TIME I OPEN IT, IT SHOWS A MONTAGE OF ME EATING DIFFERENT
THINGS. THAT'S PRETTY GREAT. AND HOW DO YOU KEEP THE KIDS
FROM NOT TAKING THAT AND THROWING IT DOWN THE TOILET?
>> WE'RE WORKING ON THAT. SO FAR NOT SO GOOD.
WE'RE WORKING ON IT, THOUGH.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU SEE THE ASTROS GET BOOED AT ANGELS STADIUM?
>> I DID SEE THAT. I DID SEE THAT.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU APPRECIATE THAT?
>> YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET ME GO, ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: AM I THE ONLY ONE STILL HUNG ON THIS? I DON'T KNOW.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT? THE GOOD THING IS I DON'T HAVE
TO BE HUNG UP ON IT BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER FANS
THAT ARE WAITING THEIR TIME FOR IT OF SO I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT IT.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW. THE FANS ARE GOING TO TAKE CARE
OF THIS ONE, I THINK. I TOLD YOU MAYBE LIKE A YEAR
AGO, IT WAS DURING THE WORLD SERIES THAT YOU WERE WEARING
YOUR HAT, WHICH YOU HAVE A TRADITION.
YOU WEAR ONE HAT FOR THE WHOLE SEASON.
AND YOU'RE WEARING YOUR HAT, AND IT WAS JUST ABSOLUTELY FILTHY,
AND MY DAUGHTER JANE, WHO IS 6 YEARS OLD SAID WHY IS HIS HAT SO
DIRTY? AND THEN I HAD TO EXPLAIN THE
WHOLE HAT THING, WHICH SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL.
BUT EVEN MORE SIGNIFICANTLY YOU START OUT THE NEW SEASON WITH
THE NEW HAT, AND A NEW GLOVE. HOW LONG HAD YOU HAD THE OLD
GLOVE?
>> YEAH, SO I FINALLY RETIRE MID GLOVE AFTER BASICALLY MY WHOLE
CAREER. SO IT'S BEEN ABOUT 13 YEARS.
YEAH, LOOK AT THAT THING.
>> Jimmy: LOOK AT THAT. IT LOOKS LIKE ‐‐ ‐‐ IT LOOKS
LIKE SOMETHING ONUS WAGNER PLAYED WITH.
>> I WOULDN'T OUT WITH THAT THING ON. THEY TOLD ME DURING THE
PLAY‐OFFS, KIDDING AROUND, HEY, IF WE WIN THIS THING YOU NEED TO
RETIRE THAT GLOVE. IT'S TIME. I KIND OF BLEW THEM OFF, OKAY,
WHATEVER. BUT THEY KEPT ON ME. NO, SERIOUSLY, YOU NEED TO
RETIRE THAT GLOVE. AND THE MORE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT,
THEY WERE RIGHT. SO SURE ENOUGH, WE WON.
AND I PUT IT AWAY. BUT SPRING TRAINING THIS YEAR, I
WAS PRETTY HORRIBLE. SO I WAS THINKING ABOUT BREAKING
INTO THE GLASS. GETTING IT BACK OUT.
SO FAR SO GOOD. IT'S STILL IN SAFE KEEPING.
>> Jimmy: DID IT MAKE YOU SAY GOODBYE TO THE GLOVE?
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I FEEL SAD WHEN I GET RID OF A CAR THAT
I'VE LEASED.
>> YES. I DON'T ‐‐ I DON'T DO CHANGE
WELL. LIKE HAVE I THE SAME STUFF. I JUST DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING,
EVER. AND SO, YEAH, IT WAS TOUGH TO
SAY GOODBYE.
>> Jimmy: HOW DID YOU PICK A NEW GLOVE?
KNOWINGIT'S REALLY LIKE PICKING A WIFE.
KNOWING YOU'RE GOING TO BE TOGETHER FOR A REALLY LONG TIE.
>> YEAH. WELL, I MEAN, TRUTH BE TOLD,
THIS GLOVE IS SIX YEARS OLD THAT I'M USING RIGHT NOW.
I JUST HAD IT STOWED AWAY. SO IT'S STILL AN OLD GLOVE TOO.
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU TAPPED AN EX TO COME IN.
>> YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> Jimmy: WOW. THAT IS CRAZY.
SO YOU'RE GOING TO BE A FREE AGENT AT THE END OF THE SEASON.
YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?
>> I DO KNOW, THAT YES.
>> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? ARE YOU THINKING WINNING ANOTHER
WORLD SERIES MAKES YOU MORE OR LESS LIKELY TO RETIRE?
>> I THINK I WILL NOT RETIRE, BUT I DON'T KNOW.
IF WE WON ANOTHER ONE, JIMMY, I MEAN, THAT WOULD BE TOUGH.
HOW DO YOU TOP THAT? YOU'RE JUST GETTING GREEDY AT
THAT POINT.
>> Jimmy: WELL, TOM BRADY. LOOK WHAT TOM BRADY DID.
AND I WORRY THAT YOU SEE THAT AND YOU THINK OH, WELL MAYBE
I'LL GO TO SOME HELL HOLE LIKE FLORIDA OR SOMETHING.
>> TOM BRADY IS IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN.
HE IS 10 YEARS OLDER THAN ME. I CAN'T IMAGINE.
I HOPE I'M JUST WALKING WHEN I'M 43.
>> Jimmy: THAT WOULD BE NICE. SO YOUR FOUNDATION, YOU HAVE
SOME GREAT CHARITY EVENTS HERE IN LOS ANGELES, AND YOU HAVE
THIS FOUNDATION. AND YOU HAVE COME UP WITH NOW A
BEER. I HAVE THE BEER. YOU WERE KIND ENOUGH TO SEND ME
SOME OF THE BEER.
>> THERE IT IS.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS YOUR PERSONAL BEER NOW.
BY THE WAY, WHEN THEY BREW THIS BEER, AND THIS IS THE REALLY
COOL THING ABOUT IT, THEY HAVE THESE BIG VATS.
IT'S A MICROBREWERY. AND CLAYTON PUTS HIS OLD GLOVE
IN IT, RIGHT? ISN'T THAT HOW YOU GET THE
FLAVOR?
>> WE WERE TRYING TO SELL THIS, OKAY.
>> Jimmy: OH, OKAY. SO THERE IS NO GLOVE IN IT?
>> NO GLOVE, NO GLOVE.
>> Jimmy: TELL US WHO THIS BENEFITS, THIS BEER?
>> IT BENEFITS KERSHAW'S CHALLENGE. IT'S OUR FOUNDATION.
IT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN ‐‐ WE HAVE DIFFERENT BENEFICIARIES ACROSS
THE COUNTRY. BUT HERE IN L. A. WE BENEFIT THE
DREAM CENTER IN DIFFERENT PLACES LIKE SHOES THAT FIT AND THINGS
LINEBACKER THAT. IT WAS A REALLY COOL OPPORTUNITY.
WICKED CURVE, HAVE A BEER OF YOUR OWN AND GET TO RAISE MONEY
FOR A GOOD CAUSE, IT'S KIND OF TWO THINGS THAT YOU'RE DRINKING
FOR A GOOD CAUSE. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH
THAT, RIGHT?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S A GREAT EXCUSE TO DRINK TOO.
[ APPLAUSE ]
BY THE WAY, I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR PAL MATT STAFFORD IS
A QUARTERBACK FOR THE RAMS. YOU GUYS HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER
FOR HOW LONG?
>> YEAH, WE PLAYED SOCCER TOGETHER WHEN WE WERE PROBABLY 8
YEARS OLD. IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
>> Jimmy: WOW. WHAT A CRAZY THING THAT WAS.
WERE YOU EXCITED HE DECIDED TO COME HERE?
>> YEAH, I'M SUPER EXCITED. I TEXTED HIM WHEN HE GOT TRADED
AND I SAID I HOPE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT.
AND HELP WAS SO FIRED UP. THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE HE WANTED
TO BE. THE RAMS ARE A GREAT SITUATION
FOR HIM. AND I GET TO WATCH CLOSE.
SO IT'S GOING TO BE AWESOME.
>> Jimmy: WOULDN'T IT BE TERRIBLE FOR YOU TO LEAVE ONE OF
YOUR OLD FRIENDS SINCE YOU WERE 8 YEARS OLD?
IT'S THE KIND OF THING THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO STAY HERE
UNTIL THE END OF YOUR CAREER, RIGHT?
>> EXACTLY, EXACTLY.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU. I'M GLAD THAT THINGS ARE OFF TO
A GOOD START. PROCEEDS FROM KERSHAW'S WICKED
CURVE BENEFIT AT‐RISK KIDS THROUGH CLAYTON'S FOUNDATION,
KERSHAW'S CHALLENGE. AND THE DODGERS HOME STAND
CONTINUES AGAINST THE ROCKIES TOMORROW NIGHT. THANKS, CLAYTON.
CLAYTON KERSHAW, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE BACK WITH NOGA EREZ.
♪
>> Announcer: THE JIMMY KIMMEL CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY
MERCEDES‐BENZ, THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE THIS.
YOU CAN SEE HER STREAMING IN CONCERT APRIL 28th AT THE
SUCCULENT SESSIONS. HER ALBUM IS CALLED "KIDS" WITH
THE SONG "VIEWS" AND HELP FROM
ROUSSO, NOGA EREZ!
♪
>> SING THE SAME SONG.
♪ PEOPLE BUY VIEWS
I KNOW IT'S OLD NEWS BUT ALSO BAD NEWS FOR EVERYBODY ♪
♪ PEOPLE BUY VIEWS
I KNOW IT'S OLD NEWS BUT I GOT BAD NEWS
FOR EVERYBODY ♪
♪ HOLY WATER IS NO JUICE
BUT I KNOW US JEWS WE DON'T LIKE TO LOSE TO ANYBODY ♪
♪ PEOPLE BUY VIEWS
BUT I DON'T BUY VIEWS DON'T TURN ON MY FUSE
AND WATCH YOUR BACK ♪
♪ AND WATCH YOUR BACK
I'LL BREAK YOUR NECK I POP A CAN OF IRONLAK
AND PAINT YOU BLACK ♪
♪ YOUR NAME IN BLACK
THE LIST I'M KEEPING OVER‐PACKED THE OTHERS KEEP ♪
♪ THE NUMBERS FAKE
AND CUT THE RANKS SO EVERYDAY I'M LOW UNTIL I BLOW ♪
♪ DIGGING HELL LIKE
CALL ME DASHA SNOW MONEY LET THE PUPPETS
RUN THE SHOW M
♪ UNDER RADAR CALLING
ME JANE DOE ANDALE MY B WE HAVE TO GO ♪
♪ SEE YA LATER UNDERRATED
STILL IT'S ME LMAO AT THE GATE OF EDEN GARDEN ♪
♪ I'LL BE ON THE
SPEEDY BOARDING TINY TROLLEY WITH MY SLATE IN ♪
♪ CLEAN AND SHINING
BUT THEY DON'T MIND IT YOU GOTTA CHIME IN
NOW THEY DON'T KNOW ♪
♪ THEY DON'T KNOW
WHAT I KEEP IN STORE WHEN I BE COUNTING
BIG CASH BABY ON THE SCORE ♪
♪ THEY DON'T KNOW,
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT I KEEP IN STORE ♪
♪ BYE FOOLS BUY VIEWS
TOUCH WOOD NO BUT ALSO BIG NEWS FOR EVERYBODY.
PEOPLE BUY VIEWS I KNOW IT'S OLD NEWS
BUT ALSO BAD M
♪ NEWS FOR EVERYBODY
PEOPLE BUY VIEWS I KNOW IT'S OLD NEWS
BUT I GOT BAD NEWS ♪
♪ LOSE TO ANYBODY
PEOPLE BUY VIEWS BUT I DON'T BUY VIEWS
DON'T TURN ON MY FUSE ♪
♪ ONE TWO THREE FOR FIFE SIX
SEVEN. EIGHT NINE TEN, YET TO HEAVEN ♪
I GOTTA WHOLE LOTTA CASH BLOWIN' IT FAST LOOKING
LIKE I'VE STOLEN A STASH ♪
♪ WHOA I'M THE BEST BABY
Y'ALL LOTTA HATE NOT GETTING CAKE I CAN TELL THAT YOU ♪
♪ REPRESENT THAT FAKENESS YEAH
THE JIG IS UP I COULD TELL YOUR WHOLE DAMN CAREER IS GOIN' UNDER
LAST YEAR, I HEATED UP THE WINTER LIKE THE SUMMER
SO THIS YEAR I'M ♪
♪ MESSIN UP THE BUDGET
NOW THEY DON'T KNOW THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT
I KEEP IN STORE ♪
♪ WHEN I BE COUNTING
BIG CASH THEY BE ON THE SCORE THEY DON'T KNOW ♪
♪ THEY DON'T KNOW
WHAT I KEEP IN STORE BYE FOOLS BUY VIEWS
TOUCH WOOD NO ♪
♪ JUST HIT THE FAN
JUST HIT THE FAN JUST HIT THE FAN IT JUST HIT THE FAN ♪
♪ IT JUST HIT THE FAN
♪ PEOPLE BUY NEWS AND NOW IT'S
OLD NEWS ♪
♪ BUT ALSO BAD NEWS
FOR EVERYBODY PEOPLE BUY VIEWSE I KNOW IT'S OLD NEWS ♪
♪ BUT I GOT BAD NEWS
SFOR EVERYBODY HOLY WATER IS NO JUICE
BUT I KNOW US JEWS ♪
♪ WE DON'T LIKE TO
LOSE TO ANYBODY PEOPLE BUY VIEWS BUT I DON'T BUY VIEWS ♪
♪ DON'T TURN ON MY FUSE
AND WATCH YOUR BACK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Announcer: THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED
BY MERCEDES‐BENZ, THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: THANKS TO ANDY GARCIA, CLAYTON KERSHAW AND NOGA EREZ.
APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. WE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR HIM.
TOMORROW NIGHT JOHN STAMOS AND KATHERYN WINNICK WITH MUSIC FROM
EASY LIFE. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME
GUILLERMO AND I ARE LATE FOR OUR COUPLES MASSAGE. GOODNIGHT.
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ]
♪