1 00:00:01,860 --> 00:00:03,859 >> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"! 2 00:00:03,859 --> 00:00:07,463 TONIGHT ‐‐ JODIE FOSTER. KELLY MARIE TRAN. 3 00:00:07,463 --> 00:00:13,836 AND MUSIC FROM BLACK PUMAS. AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 4 00:00:13,836 --> 00:00:16,872 >> Jimmy: HI, EVERYONE. I'M JIMMY. 5 00:00:16,872 --> 00:00:18,107 I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. 6 00:00:18,107 --> 00:00:23,477 ON BEHALF OF ALL OF US, WE WANT TO SEND OUR BEST WISHES FROM 7 00:00:23,477 --> 00:00:25,712 L.A. TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN HAMMERED BY THE COLD 8 00:00:25,712 --> 00:00:26,905 WEATHER. HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF TEXANS 9 00:00:26,905 --> 00:00:30,709 ARE STILL WITHOUT POWER. AND ON A DAY WHEN THE 10 00:00:30,709 --> 00:00:34,079 MOST NEWSWORTHY LANDING SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE NASA ROVER 11 00:00:34,079 --> 00:00:39,050 SUCCESSFULLY TOUCHING DOWN ON MARS, INSTEAD IT WAS A SENATOR 12 00:00:39,050 --> 00:00:39,851 FROM TEXAS TOUCHING DOWN ON CANCUN. 13 00:00:39,851 --> 00:00:44,632 WHILE HIS FELLOW TEXANS ARE FREEZING WITH THE POWER OUT, 14 00:00:44,632 --> 00:00:46,400 TED CRUZ DID WHAT ANY GREAT LEADER WOULD DO WHEN HIS STATE 15 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,403 NEEDS LEADERSHIP MOST. HE BOOKED A FLIGHT TO MEXICO. 16 00:00:49,403 --> 00:00:51,238 AND SAID, "ADIOS!" 17 00:00:51,238 --> 00:00:52,873 [ LAUGHTER ] 18 00:00:52,873 --> 00:00:57,878 THIS IS HOW BADLY THINGS ARE BEING MANAGED IN TEXAS. 19 00:00:57,878 --> 00:00:59,413 THIS ROAD IS ON THE BORDER OF TEXAS AND ARKANSAS. 20 00:00:59,413 --> 00:01:03,884 THE ARKANSAS SIDE IS CLEARED. THE TEXAS SIDE IS NOT CLEARED AT 21 00:01:03,884 --> 00:01:06,120 ALL. THIS IS HOUSTON, WHERE TED CRUZ 22 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:10,124 LIVES. THIS IS INSIDE A HOUSE IN HOUSTON. 23 00:01:10,124 --> 00:01:12,860 THERE ARE ICICLES ON CEILING FANS. 24 00:01:12,860 --> 00:01:18,099 TOILETS ARE FROZEN OVER, FISH TANKS ARE FROZEN, BAD NEWS FOR 25 00:01:18,099 --> 00:01:21,502 THE FISH. PEOPLE ARE SETTING UP TENTS 26 00:01:21,502 --> 00:01:23,637 INSIDE THEIR HOUSES TO TRY TO STAY WARM. 27 00:01:23,637 --> 00:01:24,905 OTHERS ARE BURNING THEIR FURNITURE. 28 00:01:24,905 --> 00:01:28,142 ONE FAMILY WAS BURNING THEIR TODDLER'S BLOCKS. FOR WARMTH. 29 00:01:28,142 --> 00:01:29,643 AND WHERE WAS MR. TEXAS? WHILE HIS CONSTITUENTS ARE 30 00:01:29,643 --> 00:01:34,849 SUFFERING? THERE HE IS, ON A PLANE. 31 00:01:34,849 --> 00:01:41,021 SNAKE ON A PLANE RIGHT THERE. 32 00:01:41,021 --> 00:01:41,555 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 33 00:01:41,555 --> 00:01:43,224 HEADED, IRONICALLY, TO THE VERY PLACE HE TRIED TO BUILD A WALL 34 00:01:43,224 --> 00:01:44,859 AROUND. THIS WAS POSTED ONLINE, AND AT 35 00:01:44,859 --> 00:01:48,496 FIRST, IT WAS HARD TO TELL FOR SURE IF THIS WAS TED CRUZ OR 36 00:01:48,496 --> 00:01:49,730 JUST A MAN WITH A TERRIBLE MEDICAL CONDITION CALLED 37 00:01:49,730 --> 00:01:50,865 "LOOKING LIKE TED CRUZ." 38 00:01:50,865 --> 00:01:54,635 [ LAUGHTER ] 39 00:01:54,635 --> 00:01:58,172 I DIDN'T WANT TO POST UNTIL I KNEW FOR SURE IT WAS HIM. 40 00:01:58,172 --> 00:02:00,141 MY WIFE SPENT TWO FULL HOURS LAST NIGHT STUDYING IMAGES, 41 00:02:00,141 --> 00:02:03,177 MATCHING UP PHOTOS OF HIS SHOES, HIS MASK, HIS WEDDING RING. 42 00:02:03,177 --> 00:02:05,146 I WAS IN BED WITH SHERLOCK HOLMES. 43 00:02:05,146 --> 00:02:07,415 [ LAUGHTER ] 44 00:02:07,415 --> 00:02:14,455 AND THEN MORE PHOTOS APPEARED. HERE'S TED BEFORE TAKEOFF. 45 00:02:14,455 --> 00:02:19,193 ABOUT TO ENJOY A LITTLE PORN BEFORE THE DOOR CLOSES. 46 00:02:19,193 --> 00:02:19,727 [ LAUGHTER ] 47 00:02:19,727 --> 00:02:21,495 HERE'S TED, PRE‐FLIGHT, SIPPING A CUP O'NOODLES IN UNITED'S 48 00:02:21,495 --> 00:02:22,329 "OUT‐OF‐TOUCH SENATORS LOUNGE." 49 00:02:22,329 --> 00:02:24,698 [ LAUGHTER ] 50 00:02:24,698 --> 00:02:25,933 IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING IF THERE WAS ANYTHING GROSSER THAN 51 00:02:25,933 --> 00:02:27,234 TED CRUZ, THERE IS. TED CRUZ SLURPING A CUP 52 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:30,771 O'NOODLES. 53 00:02:30,771 --> 00:02:31,238 [ LAUGHTER ] 54 00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:32,273 [ APPLAUSE ] 55 00:02:32,273 --> 00:02:37,278 SOMEONE POSTED THE UPGRADE LIST FOR THE FLIGHT. R. CRUZ. 56 00:02:37,278 --> 00:02:41,048 RAFAEL EDWARD CRUZ IS NUMBER TWO. HE IS NUMBER TWO ALL RIGHT. 57 00:02:41,048 --> 00:02:46,654 SO HE LOADS HIS FAMILY ONTO A PLANE TO GET THE HELL OUT OF 58 00:02:46,654 --> 00:02:47,521 TOWN. AND UNFORTUNATELY, YOU KNOW, 59 00:02:47,521 --> 00:02:50,891 HE'S BEEN ON TV KISSING TRUMP'S ASS SO MUCH AND FOR HOW LONG, 60 00:02:50,891 --> 00:02:53,260 EVERYONE RECOGNIZES HIM, EVEN WITH HIS MASK ON. 61 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,496 THEY POST ALL THESE PICTURES OF HIM, AND THERE'S SO MUCH 62 00:02:55,496 --> 00:02:57,832 BACKLASH, HE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO IMMEDIATELY BOOK A FLIGHT 63 00:02:57,832 --> 00:03:03,270 HOME. HERE HE IS ON THE UPGRADE LIST 64 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,072 FOR A FLIGHT BACK TO HOUSTON TODAY. 65 00:03:05,072 --> 00:03:06,740 HE DIDN'T GET UPGRADED, THEY PUT HIM IN COACH. 66 00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:08,142 [ LAUGHTER ] 67 00:03:08,142 --> 00:03:12,246 REPORTERS WERE WAITING FOR HIM AT THE AIRPORT IN CANCUN. 68 00:03:12,246 --> 00:03:13,881 HERE YOU SEE THE REPORTERS FOLLOWING HIM ON THIS FUN 69 00:03:13,881 --> 00:03:18,152 JOURNEY. DID YOU ENJOY YOUR TRIP? 70 00:03:18,152 --> 00:03:18,485 [ LAUGHTER ] 71 00:03:18,485 --> 00:03:22,556 UNITED AIRLINES, IN AN ATTEMPT TO DISTANCE THEMSELVES FROM 72 00:03:22,556 --> 00:03:27,194 THIS CONTROVERSY, PUT ON OUT A VIDEO THAT ‐‐ WELL, JUST HAVE A 73 00:03:27,194 --> 00:03:27,559 LOOK. 74 00:03:27,559 --> 00:03:30,397 >> WELL, WE'RE EXCITED TO HAVE MOST OF YOU ON BOARD. 75 00:03:30,397 --> 00:03:33,467 PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR SAFETY BELT IS SECURED. 76 00:03:33,467 --> 00:03:37,872 UNLESS YOU SHOULD BE STAYING AT HOME BECAUSE YOUR STATE IS 77 00:03:37,872 --> 00:03:40,241 FACING A HISTORICAL HUMANITARIAN CRISIS. 78 00:03:40,241 --> 00:03:43,744 IN THAT CASE, LIFT THE BUCKLE TO RELEASE AND GET THE [ BLEEP ] 79 00:03:43,744 --> 00:03:45,579 BACK TO WORK, [ BLEEP ] HOLE. 80 00:03:45,579 --> 00:03:51,852 [ APPLAUSE ] 81 00:03:51,852 --> 00:03:54,421 [ SOUTHWEST DING ] 82 00:03:54,421 --> 00:03:57,992 >> Jimmy: OH, WELL, I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT DING IN A YEAR. 83 00:03:57,992 --> 00:04:00,261 THE HYPOCRISY IS ABSOLUTELY OFF THE CHARTS. 84 00:04:00,261 --> 00:04:01,529 THIS IS THE GUY WHO TWO MONTHS AGO LASHED OUT AT THE MAYOR OF 85 00:04:01,529 --> 00:04:02,763 AUSTIN FOR GOING TO MEXICO. HE WROTE, "AND DON'T FORGET 86 00:04:02,763 --> 00:04:05,232 @MAYORADLER WHO TOOK A PRIVATE JET WITH EIGHT PEOPLE TO CABO 87 00:04:05,232 --> 00:04:07,768 AND WHILE IN CABO RECORDED A VIDEO TELLING AUSTINITES TO 88 00:04:07,768 --> 00:04:11,205 "STAY HOME IF YOU CAN. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO RELAX." 89 00:04:11,205 --> 00:04:14,475 AND ALSO MOCKED THE GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA WHEN WE HAD POWER 90 00:04:14,475 --> 00:04:18,812 OUTAGES HERE IN THE SUMMER. HE WROTE, CALIFORNIA IS NOW 91 00:04:18,812 --> 00:04:23,284 UNABLE TO PERFORM EVEN THE BASIC FUNCTIONS OF CIVILIZATION, LIKE 92 00:04:23,284 --> 00:04:24,685 HAVING RELIABLE ELECTRICITY. AND WHO EVEN TOOK SHOTS AT 93 00:04:24,685 --> 00:04:26,887 FELLOW REPUBLICAN CHRIS CHRISTIE FOR GOING TO THE BEACH HE 94 00:04:26,887 --> 00:04:29,390 CLOSED. BUT WHY SETTLE FOR JUST BEING 95 00:04:29,390 --> 00:04:31,625 THE PLANET'S BIGGEST HYPOCRITE, WHEN YOU CAN BE A WORLD‐CLASS 96 00:04:31,625 --> 00:04:36,797 LIAR TOO? THIS IS GOOD. 97 00:04:36,797 --> 00:04:41,502 MY WIFE ACTUALLY PREDICTED THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HIS EXCUSE WOULD 98 00:04:41,502 --> 00:04:43,571 BE. SHE EVEN WROTE IT DOWN. CARMEN SANDIEGO PUT OUT A 99 00:04:43,571 --> 00:04:44,171 STATEMENT. 100 00:04:44,171 --> 00:04:45,639 [ LAUGHTER ] 101 00:04:45,639 --> 00:04:49,910 HE WROTE, "THIS HAS BEEN AN INFURIATING WEEK FOR TEXANS." 102 00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:54,381 "LIKE MILLIONS OF TEXANS, OUR FAMILY LOST HEAT AND POWER TOO." 103 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,649 WITH SCHOOL CANCELLED FOR THE WEEK, OUR GIRLS ASKED TO TAKE A 104 00:04:55,649 --> 00:04:58,152 TRIP WITH FRIENDS. WANTING TO BE A GOOD DAD, I FLEW 105 00:04:58,152 --> 00:05:02,122 DOWN WITH THEM LAST NIGHT AND AM FLYING BACK THIS AFTERNOON." 106 00:05:02,122 --> 00:05:04,992 NOW, HE WAS CAREFUL NOT TO SAY HE WAS PLANNING TO FLY BACK THIS 107 00:05:04,992 --> 00:05:11,765 AFTERNOON. BECAUSE HE WASN'T. HE JUST SAID HE DID, AND IN 108 00:05:11,765 --> 00:05:13,667 FACT, NBC NEWS HAS A SOURCE THAT SAYS HE ORIGINALLY BOOKED A 109 00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:17,805 FLIGHT BACK ON SATURDAY. HE BOOKED HIS RETURN TICKET AT 110 00:05:17,805 --> 00:05:20,074 6:00 A. M. THIS MORNING AFTER HE GOT BUSTED. 111 00:05:20,074 --> 00:05:24,445 BUT I GUESS WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE HE WAS CHAPERONING HIS 112 00:05:24,445 --> 00:05:27,481 WIFE AND KIDS TO MEXICO AND WAS PLANNING TO COME BACK THE NEXT 113 00:05:27,481 --> 00:05:32,353 DAY ALL ALONG, WITH A CARRY‐ON BAG STUFFED LIKE A PINATA. 114 00:05:32,353 --> 00:05:32,820 [ LAUGHTER ] 115 00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:35,589 THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THIS. 116 00:05:35,589 --> 00:05:41,795 ONE IDIOT, A GUY NAMED DINESH DE DOUCHE‐A. 117 00:05:41,795 --> 00:05:42,997 I DON'T KNOW IF HE BELIEVED IT, BUT HE EXCUSED IT. 118 00:05:42,997 --> 00:05:45,065 HE WROTE, "WHAT COULD @TEDCRUZ DO IF HE WERE HERE IN TEXAS? 119 00:05:45,065 --> 00:05:46,166 I'M HARD‐PRESSED TO SAY. IF HE'S IN CANCUN, THAT MEANS 120 00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:48,736 HE'S NOT USING UP VALUABLE RESOURCES OF ENERGY, FOOD, AND 121 00:05:48,736 --> 00:05:49,703 WATER THAT CAN NOW BE USED BY SOMEONE ELSE. 122 00:05:49,703 --> 00:05:51,005 THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST THING HE COULD DO FOR THE STATE RIGHT 123 00:05:51,005 --> 00:05:51,805 NOW." 124 00:05:51,805 --> 00:05:55,142 [ LAUGHTER ] 125 00:05:55,142 --> 00:05:58,779 AND MORE THAN 10,000 PEOPLE LIKED THAT STATEMENT! 126 00:05:58,779 --> 00:06:02,416 WHAT A COUNTRY THIS IS. FOR THE MOST PART THOUGH, NO ONE 127 00:06:02,416 --> 00:06:05,419 WAS BUYING THIS STORY ABOUT GETTING BACK TO WORK. 128 00:06:05,419 --> 00:06:09,289 SO TED DECIDED TO KIND OF COME CLEAN. 129 00:06:09,289 --> 00:06:12,092 >> NO, I DIDN'T SAY THAT, WE LEFT YESTERDAY. 130 00:06:12,092 --> 00:06:14,695 THE PLAN HAD BEEN TO STAY THROUGH THE WEEKEND WITH THE 131 00:06:14,695 --> 00:06:17,865 FAMILY. THAT WAS THE PLAN. AND ‐‐ YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO 132 00:06:17,865 --> 00:06:23,504 ADMIT, IT WAS ‐‐ THE LAST WEEK'S BEEN TOUGH ON A LOT OF FOLKS. 133 00:06:23,504 --> 00:06:27,975 [ LAUGHTER ] 134 00:06:27,975 --> 00:06:31,178 >> Jimmy: ESPECIALLY ME! I HAD A COUPLES MASSAGE BOOKED 135 00:06:31,178 --> 00:06:31,511 RIGHT NOW! 136 00:06:31,511 --> 00:06:32,646 [ LAUGHTER ] 137 00:06:32,646 --> 00:06:36,383 AND THE HOTEL DOESN'T GIVE REFUNDS! 138 00:06:36,383 --> 00:06:37,885 CRUZ ALSO CLAIMED THAT HIS STRUGGLE TO BE THE WORLD'S 139 00:06:37,885 --> 00:06:40,854 GREATEST DAD PUT HIM IN A POSITION THAT HE REALIZED WAS 140 00:06:40,854 --> 00:06:44,591 NOT A GOOD ONE, JUST A FEW HOURS TOO LATE. 141 00:06:44,591 --> 00:06:47,995 >> WE WERE TRYING TO BE GOOD PARENTS AND SAID, OKAY, WE'LL DO 142 00:06:47,995 --> 00:06:52,966 IT. AND SO WE BOOKED THE FLIGHT. YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO ADMIT ‐‐ I 143 00:06:52,966 --> 00:06:56,236 STARTED HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ALMOST THE MOMENT I SAT DOWN ON 144 00:06:56,236 --> 00:06:56,569 THE PLANE. 145 00:06:56,569 --> 00:06:59,173 >> Jimmy: YES, YES. 146 00:06:59,173 --> 00:06:59,506 [ LAUGHTER ] 147 00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,442 AS SOON AS PEOPLE STARTED POSTING PICTURES OF HIM ON THE 148 00:07:01,442 --> 00:07:03,510 PLANE, HE KNEW SHOULDN'T BE ON THE PLANE. 149 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,879 [ LAUGHTER ] 150 00:07:05,879 --> 00:07:07,247 HOW DID HE THINK HE WAS GONNA GET AWAY WITH THIS? 151 00:07:07,247 --> 00:07:10,150 YOU KNOW YOUR JUDGMENT IS TERRIBLE WHEN THIS HAIRCUT IS 152 00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:13,220 ONLY THE THIRD WORST DECISION YOU MADE THIS MONTH. 153 00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:15,289 [ LAUGHTER ] 154 00:07:15,289 --> 00:07:18,992 [ APPLAUSE ] 155 00:07:18,992 --> 00:07:22,096 SO TED SADLY REPACKED HIS FLIP‐FLOPS AND HIS VACATION 156 00:07:22,096 --> 00:07:25,399 SHIRT AND GOT BACK ON THE PLANE. HE DID MAKE IT SAFELY BACK HOME. 157 00:07:25,399 --> 00:07:31,605 THE POLICE ESCORTED HIM OFF THE PLANE JUST IN CASE ANTIFA WAS 158 00:07:31,605 --> 00:07:32,072 RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. 159 00:07:32,072 --> 00:07:34,041 [ LAUGHTER ] 160 00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:36,677 OR MAYBE THE YOUS WERE USING THEIR SPACE LASER TO CANCEL HIS 161 00:07:36,677 --> 00:07:38,779 UBER OR SOMETHING. BUT THE SILVER LINING, IF THERE 162 00:07:38,779 --> 00:07:42,549 IS ANY, IS THAT THE SENATOR'S ILL‐ADVISED TRIP DURING A 163 00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:44,785 BLIZZARD AND PANDEMIC HAS BEEN A MUCH NEEDED SHOT IN THE ARM FOR 164 00:07:44,785 --> 00:07:49,056 MEXICAN TOURISM AND THE CRUISE INDUSTRY. 165 00:07:49,056 --> 00:07:52,559 >> WANNA GET AWAY? FROM YOUR CONSTITUENTS? 166 00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:58,632 HOP ABOARD THE TED CRUISE! 167 00:07:58,632 --> 00:08:04,338 WHEN THE POWER GOES OUT AT HOME, WE GO OUT TO SEA. 168 00:08:04,338 --> 00:08:06,440 LEAVE YOUR TROUBLES BEHIND. OUR TOILETS AREN'T FROZEN BUT 169 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:10,878 OUR MARGARITAS ARE! WATCH THE SUN SET IN THE STATE 170 00:08:10,878 --> 00:08:14,114 YOU ABANDONED. FILL THE HOLE IN YOUR SOUL AT 171 00:08:14,114 --> 00:08:17,217 OUR ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET AND DANCE YOUR WORRIES AWAY. 172 00:08:17,217 --> 00:08:19,019 NOW THAT'S ELECTRICITY! THERE'S NO WALL ON THE OCEAN. 173 00:08:19,019 --> 00:08:24,224 CLIMB ABOARD A TED CRUISE. CRUISE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR 174 00:08:24,224 --> 00:08:27,728 COVID, MOTION SICKNESS, OR NAUSEA RELATED TO SEEING HIS 175 00:08:27,728 --> 00:08:28,093 FACE. 176 00:08:28,093 --> 00:08:28,426 [ LAUGHTER ] 177 00:08:28,426 --> 00:08:30,297 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 178 00:08:30,297 --> 00:08:33,867 >> Jimmy: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? AT LEAST HIS VACATION WAS RUINED. 179 00:08:33,867 --> 00:08:35,002 THAT'S SOMETHING, RIGHT? IF YOU WANT TO PITCH IN AND HELP 180 00:08:35,002 --> 00:08:40,207 THOSE WHO NEED IT RIGHT NOW IN TEXAS, AND LOT OF THEM NEED IT, 181 00:08:40,207 --> 00:08:42,810 OUR LOCAL FIT YATE IN HOUSTON, ABC 13, WAS TEAMED UP WITH THE 182 00:08:42,810 --> 00:08:44,812 HOUSTON FOOD BANK. PEOPLE REALLY ARE HURTING. 183 00:08:44,812 --> 00:08:49,383 YOU CAN MAKE A DONATION EASILY. JUST TEXT "ABC 13" TO 41444. 184 00:08:49,383 --> 00:08:51,518 YOU CAN DO THAT FROM ANYWHERE YOU ARE IN THE COUNTRY. 185 00:08:51,518 --> 00:08:54,788 FOR EVERY $1 DONATED, 3 MEALS WILL BE GIVEN TO THOSE WHO NEED 186 00:08:54,788 --> 00:08:56,690 THEM. 187 00:08:56,690 --> 00:08:58,559 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 188 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:00,794 PLEASE GO AHEAD AND CHECK THAT OUT, WILL YOU? 189 00:09:00,794 --> 00:09:04,498 UNFORTUNATELY, MORE WINTER WEATHER IS COMING. 190 00:09:04,498 --> 00:09:06,767 IT WAS SO COLD IN OUR NATION'S CAPITAL TODAY, THE WASHINGTON 191 00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:08,101 MONUMENT EXPERIENCED UNPRECEDENTED SHRINKAGE. 192 00:09:08,101 --> 00:09:12,906 [ LAUGHTER ] 193 00:09:12,906 --> 00:09:15,909 METEOROLOGISTS ARE RECOMMENDING THAT WASHINGTON RESIDENTS, 194 00:09:15,909 --> 00:09:19,246 ESPECIALLY THE ELDERLY, STAY WARM BY CLIMBING INSIDE 195 00:09:19,246 --> 00:09:23,317 MITCH McCONNELL'S THROAT POUCH. 196 00:09:23,317 --> 00:09:23,683 [ LAUGHTER ] 197 00:09:23,683 --> 00:09:25,752 OF ALL THE MANY REPORTS ON TEXAS WEATHER THIS WEEK, AND THERE 198 00:09:25,752 --> 00:09:30,991 HAVE BEEN MANY, I WOULD LIKE TO OFFER CONGRATULATIONS TO 199 00:09:30,991 --> 00:09:34,494 STACY RICKARD OF SPECTRUM NEWS IN AUSTIN. 200 00:09:34,494 --> 00:09:35,662 SHE IS THE WINNER OF TONIGHT'S AWARD FOR EXPLETIVES, AND 201 00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:43,937 EXCELLENCE, IN REPORTING. 202 00:09:43,937 --> 00:09:49,109 >> IN ITS ENDEAVOR TO PROVIDE TRANSPARENCY ABOUT WHAT GOING ON 203 00:09:49,109 --> 00:09:53,213 SAYS IF THERE'S BEEN INSUFFICIENT COMMUNICATION THEY 204 00:09:53,213 --> 00:09:59,219 WILL TAKE [ BLEEP ]. 205 00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:00,754 >> ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU, STACY. 206 00:10:00,754 --> 00:10:03,790 >> Jimmy: WE'RE COMING UP ON THE ONE‐YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF LOCKDOWN 207 00:10:03,790 --> 00:10:06,994 LIFE AND THE SCAMMERS ARE COMING UP WITH EXCITING NEW WAYS TO 208 00:10:06,994 --> 00:10:09,329 SCREW US. ONE OF OUR PRODUCERS GOT THIS 209 00:10:09,329 --> 00:10:15,035 TEXT AT 4:13 IN THE MORNING. "RENEE." HIS NAME'S DANNY. 210 00:10:15,035 --> 00:10:15,969 [ LAUGHTER ] 211 00:10:15,969 --> 00:10:18,906 "RENEE, YOU'VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR OUR COVID RELIEF SCHEME. 212 00:10:18,906 --> 00:10:24,044 YOU'RE NOW ELIGIBLE TO EARN $1472 A DAY." GOT HIS NAME WRONG. 213 00:10:24,044 --> 00:10:27,080 OFFERED HIM A LARGE AND SUSPICIOUSLY SPECIFIC AMOUNT OF 214 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:31,018 MONEY. AND LITERALLY CALLED IT A SCHEME, A COVID RELIEF SCHEME. 215 00:10:31,018 --> 00:10:35,822 HE GOT A FOLLOW‐UP TEXT THAT SAID, "WE GET IT, RENEE, COVID 216 00:10:35,822 --> 00:10:41,728 SUCKS. HERE'S A FREE NETFLIX SUBSCRIPTION ON US." 217 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:47,834 WELL, IF HE DIDN'T GO FOR THE $1,400, MAYBE HE'LL BUY IT ON 218 00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:55,275 "BRIDGER TON." COUNTERFEIT MASKS ARE A PROBLEM. 219 00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:57,377 OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS, FEDERAL AGENTS HAVE SEIZED MORE THAN 220 00:10:57,377 --> 00:10:58,512 10 MILLION BOGUS 3M BRAND N95 MASKS WHICH WERE SOLD TO 221 00:10:58,512 --> 00:10:59,780 MEDICAL FACILITIES AND GOVERNMENT AGENCIES IN AT LEAST 222 00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:01,782 FIVE STATES. TO HELP THOSE WHO MAY HAVE 223 00:11:01,782 --> 00:11:03,317 UNKNOWINGLY PURCHASED A KNOCKOFF MASK, 3M IS OFFERING TIPS ON HOW 224 00:11:03,317 --> 00:11:08,989 TO SPOT A FAKE. TAKE A LOOK AT THE MASK. 225 00:11:08,989 --> 00:11:18,031 NUMBER ONE TIP, IF THE MASK SAYS 226 00:11:18,031 --> 00:11:19,599 "BAZINGA" ON IT, NOT REAL. THE GOOD NEWS, THE VACCINE IS 227 00:11:19,599 --> 00:11:20,968 SLOWLY ON THE WAY. UNFORTUNATELY, NOT EVERYONE 228 00:11:20,968 --> 00:11:25,906 WANTS IT. DR. FAUCI SAYS IN ORDER FOR THE 229 00:11:25,906 --> 00:11:30,310 VACCINE TO KNOCK COVID OUT, AT LEAST 75% OF AMERICANS NEED TO 230 00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:34,614 TAKE IT. BUT ROUGHLY 1 IN 3 AMERICANS SAY 231 00:11:34,614 --> 00:11:37,017 THEY WON'T TAKE IT, WHICH IS A PROBLEM. BUT I HAVE THE SOLUTION. 232 00:11:37,017 --> 00:11:38,352 I GOT TO THINKING, WHO CAN MAKE SOMETHING THAT MIGHT SEEM 233 00:11:38,352 --> 00:11:39,553 UNTHINKABLE, OR EVEN DANGEROUS ON PAPER, AND TURN IT INTO 234 00:11:39,553 --> 00:11:43,991 SOMETHING YOU'D ACTUALLY WAIT IN LINE FOR WHILE DRUNK? 235 00:11:43,991 --> 00:11:45,025 AND THE ANSWER IS TACO BELL. 236 00:11:45,025 --> 00:11:49,763 [ LAUGHTER ] 237 00:11:49,763 --> 00:11:55,736 I SAY LET THE GENIUSES BEHIND THE KIT‐KAT QUESADILLA AND FRITO 238 00:11:55,736 --> 00:11:58,905 BURRITO SELL THIS. PUT IT ON THE DOLLAR MENU. 239 00:11:58,905 --> 00:12:00,140 INTRODUCING THE NEW TACO BELL REGEN‐CHILADA. 240 00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:00,640 [ LAUGHTER ] 241 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:06,980 GET ALL THE FAST FOOD PLACES GOING. EL POLIO LOCO. 242 00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:08,148 KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKENPOX. HEPATITIS APPLE‐B'S. 243 00:12:08,148 --> 00:12:10,884 DER WIENERSHINGLES. AND WASH IT ALL DOWN WITH A BIG 244 00:12:10,884 --> 00:12:12,085 CAN OF MONSTER ENERGY VACCINE. 245 00:12:12,085 --> 00:12:12,519 [ LAUGHTER ] 246 00:12:12,519 --> 00:12:15,322 RIGHT, GUILLERMO? 247 00:12:15,322 --> 00:12:17,224 >> Guillermo: THAT'S RIGHT, JI JIMMY. 248 00:12:17,224 --> 00:12:18,291 >> Jimmy: YOU WOULD DRINK THAT. 249 00:12:18,291 --> 00:12:18,992 >> Guillermo: YEAH, SURE. 250 00:12:18,992 --> 00:12:23,997 >> Jimmy: I MENTIONED EARLIER NASA AND THE PERSEVERANCE ROVER 251 00:12:23,997 --> 00:12:25,399 COMPLETED ITS JOURNEY TO MARS TODAY. 252 00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:26,867 ITS MISSION IS TO GATHER DATA AND LOOK FOR SIGNS OF ANCIENT 253 00:12:26,867 --> 00:12:28,368 LIFE IN A CRATER THAT HAD A LAKE IN IT ALMOST 4 BILLION YEARS 254 00:12:28,368 --> 00:12:31,905 AGO. IT REALLY IS AN INCREDIBLE ACHIEVEMENT. 255 00:12:31,905 --> 00:12:38,245 THE FACT THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO DO THIS. 256 00:12:38,245 --> 00:12:41,548 I CAN'T EVEN PUT THE TOY IN A KINDER EGG TOGETHER WITHOUT HELP. 257 00:12:41,548 --> 00:12:41,914 [ LAUGHTER ] 258 00:12:41,914 --> 00:12:45,318 SO ANYWAY. MINUTES AFTER PERSEVERANCE 259 00:12:45,318 --> 00:12:48,955 LANDED, IT SENT ITS FIRST IMAGES BACK TO EARTH. 260 00:12:48,955 --> 00:12:52,225 REALLY UNBELIEVABLE TO SEE THE SURFACE OF THE PLANET ‐‐ WHAT? 261 00:12:52,225 --> 00:12:52,592 HE'S THERE TOO? 262 00:12:52,592 --> 00:12:54,961 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 263 00:12:54,961 --> 00:12:58,799 WOW. HE'S READY TO PARTY. WHEN HE'S READY TO PARTY, HE'S 264 00:12:58,799 --> 00:13:04,905 READY TO PARTY. WHAT'S THAT? SENATOR CRUZS ‐‐ I'M BEING TOLD 265 00:13:04,905 --> 00:13:08,175 SENATOR CRUZ IS WITH US VIA SATELLITE. 266 00:13:08,175 --> 00:13:09,810 IT MAY BE HIS FIRST LIVE INTERVIEW EVER. 267 00:13:09,810 --> 00:13:14,714 THE JUNIOR SENATOR FROM TEXAS, TED CRUZ, HELLO, SENATOR CRUZ. 268 00:13:14,714 --> 00:13:18,952 >> HOLA, JIMMY, COMO ESTAS? 269 00:13:18,952 --> 00:13:24,424 >> Jimmy: ESTOY BIEN, I GUESS. 270 00:13:24,424 --> 00:13:31,598 >> FELIZ NAVIDAD, YES. 271 00:13:31,598 --> 00:13:33,266 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU BACK IN MEXICO? 272 00:13:33,266 --> 00:13:34,468 >> SI, SENOR. 273 00:13:34,468 --> 00:13:37,003 >> Jimmy: YOU MADE A BIG SHOW OF FLYING BACK TO HOUSTON WITH YOUR 274 00:13:37,003 --> 00:13:38,038 TAIL BETWEEN YOUR LEGS. 275 00:13:38,038 --> 00:13:42,242 >> SI, SI, CAN YOU BLAME ME, THOUGH? 276 00:13:42,242 --> 00:13:46,012 MEXICO IS LIKE PARADISE, I LOVE IT HERE. 277 00:13:46,012 --> 00:13:47,547 >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT LEAVING HUNDREDS OF 278 00:13:47,547 --> 00:13:52,219 THOUSANDS OF YOUR FELLOW TEXANS WITHOUT POWER IN THE FREEZING 279 00:13:52,219 --> 00:13:53,553 COLD? 280 00:13:53,553 --> 00:13:59,025 >> GUILTY? THAT IS HOW YOU SAY, ESTUPIDO. 281 00:13:59,025 --> 00:14:03,029 I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS, I'M TED MOTHER [ BLEEP ] CRUZ. 282 00:14:03,029 --> 00:14:06,466 A CREEPY LITTLE COLD‐BLOODED BITCH OF THE SEA, WHEE! 283 00:14:06,466 --> 00:14:08,301 >> Jimmy: I SEE, WELL. DO YOU FEEL THIS IS SOMETHING 284 00:14:08,301 --> 00:14:10,403 THAT ‐‐ WHAT IS ‐‐ LIVE LAUGH 285 00:14:10,403 --> 00:14:13,940 [ LAUGHTER ] 286 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:14,374 YOU'RE SPILLING IT. 287 00:14:14,374 --> 00:14:22,249 YOU'RE SPILLING IT. 288 00:14:22,249 --> 00:14:23,283 >> THAT REALLY HITS THE SPOT. 289 00:14:23,283 --> 00:14:34,594 >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING? 290 00:14:34,594 --> 00:14:36,930 >> THAT IS WHAT WE CALL A PINA CA‐NOODLE! 291 00:14:36,930 --> 00:14:40,367 >> Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT? 292 00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:42,903 >> IT'S A CUP‐O‐NOODLES OVER ICE WITH A SHOT OF JUST‐FOR‐MEN. 293 00:14:42,903 --> 00:14:44,070 OOOO, IT'S NICE AND COLD! NICE AND COLD, JUST LIKE MY NEXT 294 00:14:44,070 --> 00:14:49,009 DOOR NEIGHBOR'S BEDROOM! AI‐YI‐YI! CHUPACABRA! 295 00:14:49,009 --> 00:14:50,177 >> Jimmy: ON TWITTER, THE HASHTAG "VOTE HIM OUT" HAS BEEN 296 00:14:50,177 --> 00:14:54,681 TRENDING. "LYIN' TED" HAS BEEN TRENDING. 297 00:14:54,681 --> 00:14:58,752 DOES THAT CONCERN YOU AT ALL? 298 00:14:58,752 --> 00:15:01,254 >> ME? NO, I JUST FEEL HORRIBLE FOR 299 00:15:01,254 --> 00:15:03,356 WHOEVER "HIM" IS IN THAT HASHTAG. 300 00:15:03,356 --> 00:15:07,494 >> Jimmy: I THINK "HIM" IS YOU. VOTE HIM OUT. "HIM" IS YOU. 301 00:15:07,494 --> 00:15:13,233 >> WHAT? NO, NO. THAT EES IMPOSSEEBLE! 302 00:15:13,233 --> 00:15:15,268 I AM WORKING HARD! I HATE TO CUT YOU OFF, JIMINEZ, 303 00:15:15,268 --> 00:15:16,469 BUT I'M ABOUT TO BE LATE FOR A MEETING WITH AN IMPORTANT 304 00:15:16,469 --> 00:15:17,003 MEXICAN OFFICIAL. 305 00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:21,508 >> Jimmy: OH, WHO ARE YOU MEETING WITH? 306 00:15:21,508 --> 00:15:24,244 >> ONE SENOR FROG. EVER HEARD OF HIM? 307 00:15:24,244 --> 00:15:24,644 >> Jimmy: YES. 308 00:15:24,644 --> 00:15:29,716 >> HE'S OFFERING TWO FOR ONE MARGARITAS, BUT I TOLD HIM THREE 309 00:15:29,716 --> 00:15:31,885 OR NO GRACIAS! IT'S CALLED THE ART OF THE DEAL, 310 00:15:31,885 --> 00:15:32,652 READ YOUR BIBLE. 311 00:15:32,652 --> 00:15:35,655 >> Jimmy: OKAY, WELL, HAVE A GOOD TIME, SENATOR CRUZ. 312 00:15:35,655 --> 00:15:37,090 >> I WILL. I AM LIVIN' LA VIDA LOCA! 313 00:15:37,090 --> 00:15:42,495 MACARENA! SHAKIRA! CHIQUITA BANANA! 314 00:15:42,495 --> 00:15:44,598 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, SENATOR. BUENAS NOCHES. 315 00:15:44,598 --> 00:15:44,931 [ APPLAUSE ] 316 00:15:44,931 --> 00:15:52,472 WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE A 317 00:15:52,472 --> 00:15:53,940 BLOBFISH PUPPET LAYING AROUND, YOU USE IT. 318 00:15:53,940 --> 00:15:54,274 [ LAUGHTER ] 319 00:15:54,274 --> 00:15:55,242 KELLY MARIE TRAN IS HERE. WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM 320 00:15:55,242 --> 00:15:58,745 BLACK PUMAS, AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JODIE FOSTER. 321 00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:12,692 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK. TONIGHT, FROM THE NEW DISNEY 322 00:16:12,692 --> 00:16:14,194 MOVIE "RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON," KELLY MARIE TRAN IS 323 00:16:14,194 --> 00:16:14,592 WITH US. 324 00:16:14,592 --> 00:16:15,962 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 325 00:16:15,962 --> 00:16:18,798 AND LATER, A GREAT BAND FROM A GREAT CITY, AUSTIN, TEXAS. 326 00:16:18,798 --> 00:16:21,334 THEY HAVE THREE GRAMMY NOMINATIONS, THIS IS THE DELUXE 327 00:16:21,334 --> 00:16:24,704 EDITION OF THEIR SELF‐TITLED ALBUM, MUSIC FROM BLACK PUMAS. 328 00:16:24,704 --> 00:16:28,642 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 329 00:16:28,642 --> 00:16:31,011 TOMORROW NIGHT, KATE HUDSON AND DOMINIQUE FISHBACK WILL JOIN US, 330 00:16:31,011 --> 00:16:35,282 WITH MUSIC FROM EVANESCENCE. OUR FIRST GUEST GOT HER FIRST 331 00:16:35,282 --> 00:16:38,551 OSCAR AND GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINATIONS WHEN SHE WAS 332 00:16:38,551 --> 00:16:39,753 14 YEARS OLD. THAT'S WHEN YOU GOT ‘EM BACK 333 00:16:39,753 --> 00:16:43,223 THEN. SHE WENT ON TO WIN EACH OF THOSE 334 00:16:43,223 --> 00:16:45,091 AWARDS, MORE THAN ONCE, AND IS GOLDEN GLOBE‐NOMINATED AGAIN FOR 335 00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:51,364 "THE MAURITANIAN." PLEASE WELCOME JODIE FOSTER. 336 00:16:51,364 --> 00:16:51,865 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 337 00:16:51,865 --> 00:16:59,306 ♪ 338 00:16:59,306 --> 00:17:00,540 >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU? 339 00:17:00,540 --> 00:17:03,209 >> YEAH, GOOD. HI, GUILLERMO. 340 00:17:03,209 --> 00:17:05,945 >> Jimmy: IT'S VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU, HOW YOU DOING? 341 00:17:05,945 --> 00:17:07,447 >> VERY GOOD. REALLY NICE. 342 00:17:07,447 --> 00:17:09,316 >> Jimmy: DO YOU GET OUT MUCH? 343 00:17:09,316 --> 00:17:12,385 >> NOT MUCH. THIS IS PRETTY MUCH IT. 344 00:17:12,385 --> 00:17:15,155 NO, THE WHOLE YEAR, THIS IS THE HIGHLIGHT. 345 00:17:15,155 --> 00:17:17,857 >> Jimmy: NINE GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINATIONS, A LOT OF 346 00:17:17,857 --> 00:17:18,191 NOMINATIONS. 347 00:17:18,191 --> 00:17:18,658 >> THAT MANY? 348 00:17:18,658 --> 00:17:19,893 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE THAT MANY. 349 00:17:19,893 --> 00:17:22,562 >> DID YOU CHECK, ARE YOU SURE? 350 00:17:22,562 --> 00:17:28,735 >> Jimmy: THEY ADDED IT UP ‐‐ I THINK IT'S KIND OF TEN, I THINK 351 00:17:28,735 --> 00:17:32,806 YOU GOT A LIFE TIME ACHIEVEMENT TYPE OF THING. 352 00:17:32,806 --> 00:17:34,774 >> YES. 353 00:17:34,774 --> 00:17:37,844 >> Jimmy: WATCHING YOUR MOVIE, YOU'RE ALWAYS SO GOOD IN 354 00:17:37,844 --> 00:17:41,181 EVERYTHING, HAVE YOU EVER WONDER ONE OF YOUR MOVIES AND THOUGHT, 355 00:17:41,181 --> 00:17:42,782 I WAS NOT GOOD IN THAT? 356 00:17:42,782 --> 00:17:44,150 >> THAT STINKS. 357 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:44,484 [ LAUGHTER ] 358 00:17:44,484 --> 00:17:46,986 I'M SURE I HAVE, I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHICH ONE? 359 00:17:46,986 --> 00:17:47,854 >> Jimmy: IT HAS HAPPENED? 360 00:17:47,854 --> 00:17:51,191 >> YEAH IT KIND OF HAS. ACTUALLY, WHAT ENDS UP HAPPENING 361 00:17:51,191 --> 00:17:55,929 IS I DON'T EVER WATCH THEM AGAIN. SOMETIMES HALFWAY THROUGH I'M 362 00:17:55,929 --> 00:17:56,262 LIKE, NO. 363 00:17:56,262 --> 00:17:58,331 >> Jimmy: THAT'S IT. WHEN YOU ARE NOMINATED FOR ANY 364 00:17:58,331 --> 00:18:01,935 KIND OF AWARD, GOLDEN GLOBE, WHATEVER, AND YOU GET NOMINATED 365 00:18:01,935 --> 00:18:05,171 A LOT OF TIMES, DO YOU WRITE A SPEECH EACH TIME? 366 00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:05,739 >> NO. 367 00:18:05,739 --> 00:18:08,074 >> Jimmy: YOU WING WHEN IT YOU GET UP THERE? 368 00:18:08,074 --> 00:18:11,411 >> I DO. I ‐‐ YEAH, I PRETTY MUCH DO. 369 00:18:11,411 --> 00:18:14,280 SOMETIMES I'LL HAVE IDEAS IN MY MIND. SOMETIMES THEY FLY OUT. 370 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,383 SOMETIMES I SAY ABSOLUTELY THE WRONG THING. YOU KNOW. 371 00:18:16,383 --> 00:18:19,419 >> Jimmy: THIS YEAR IT'S GOING TO BE A VIRTUAL TYPE OF DEAL, 372 00:18:19,419 --> 00:18:20,720 WHERE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'LL BE AT HOME? 373 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,922 >> I WILL BE AT HOME. 374 00:18:22,922 --> 00:18:24,891 >> Jimmy: EVERYONE DRINKS DURING THE GOLDEN GLOBES, WILL YOU GET 375 00:18:24,891 --> 00:18:25,625 HAMMERED AT HOME? 376 00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:28,628 >> NO, THAT'S NOT SOMETHING I DO. BUT I WILL ‐‐ THE DOG WILL BE 377 00:18:28,628 --> 00:18:31,064 NEXT TO ME. 378 00:18:31,064 --> 00:18:33,299 >> Jimmy: THEY SHOULD HAVE ‐‐ EVERYONE SHOULD BE ALLOWED A DOG 379 00:18:33,299 --> 00:18:34,300 AT EVERY AWARD SHOW. 380 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:34,868 >> RIGHT? 381 00:18:34,868 --> 00:18:36,736 >> Jimmy: WOULDN'T THAT BE SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING? 382 00:18:36,736 --> 00:18:39,739 >> IT WOULD BE EVEN BETTER IF IT WAS JUST THE DOG IN YOUR SEAT. 383 00:18:39,739 --> 00:18:40,206 [ LAUGHTER ] 384 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:41,408 >> Jimmy: AN ALL‐DOG AWARD SHOW. 385 00:18:41,408 --> 00:18:46,479 >> YEAH, THEN YOU HAD TO MATCH THE ONE. IT WOULD BE SO GOOD. 386 00:18:46,479 --> 00:18:48,782 >> Jimmy: PUT A LITTLE PIECE OF KIBBLE ON THE TROPHY. 387 00:18:48,782 --> 00:18:52,752 >> YEAH, A LITTLE TIARA, A CIGAR. 388 00:18:52,752 --> 00:18:54,854 >> Jimmy: YOU MAY REALLY BE ON TO SOMETHING HERE. 389 00:18:54,854 --> 00:18:57,724 AS WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF AWARDS, AARON RODGERS, THE 390 00:18:57,724 --> 00:18:59,392 QUARTERBACK OF THE GREEN BAY PACKERS ‐‐ 391 00:18:59,392 --> 00:19:00,160 >> YES, COME ON. 392 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,195 >> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU'RE A FAN OF THE GREEN BAY PACKERS. 393 00:19:02,195 --> 00:19:04,731 >> I AM. A BIG PACKERS FAN. 394 00:19:04,731 --> 00:19:08,701 >> Jimmy: HE WINS THE NFL MVP. DURING HIS SPEECH HE SAYS THIS. 395 00:19:08,701 --> 00:19:12,439 >> I ALSO FEEL I'VE GOT A GREAT GROUP OF PEOPLE TO SUPPORT ME. 396 00:19:12,439 --> 00:19:16,643 I'D LIKE TO THANK MY TEAM. OFF THE FIELD, RYAN, TOMMY, 397 00:19:16,643 --> 00:19:19,579 LEONARD, REBECCA, ADAM, OLIVER, 398 00:19:19,579 --> 00:19:26,119 EMIL, DEBBIE, JODIE FOSTER, CHESS, POPPER ‐‐ 399 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:26,619 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 400 00:19:26,619 --> 00:19:27,787 >> Jimmy: DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS HAPPENING? 401 00:19:27,787 --> 00:19:33,059 >> YOU SEE HE SAID "MY TEAM." EVEN THOUGH HE SAID "OFF THE 402 00:19:33,059 --> 00:19:36,796 FIELD." THAT MAKES ME A GREEN BAY PACKER. 403 00:19:36,796 --> 00:19:37,129 [ LAUGHTER ] 404 00:19:37,129 --> 00:19:40,967 PEOPLE KEEP SAYING, NO, THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU'RE PART OF THE 405 00:19:40,967 --> 00:19:42,535 TEAM BUT IT DOES. 406 00:19:42,535 --> 00:19:43,937 >> Jimmy: DID YOU KNOW AARON RODGERS? 407 00:19:43,937 --> 00:19:44,302 >> NO. 408 00:19:44,302 --> 00:19:47,574 >> Jimmy: YOU HAD NO IDEA HE WAS GOING TO SAY THIS? 409 00:19:47,574 --> 00:19:49,075 >> HE KNOWS I'M HIS BIGGEST FAN. 410 00:19:49,075 --> 00:19:52,479 >> Jimmy: IF YOU WIN THE GOLDEN GLOBE, WILL YOU NAME HIM IN YOUR 411 00:19:52,479 --> 00:19:52,844 SPEECH? 412 00:19:52,844 --> 00:19:53,177 [ LAUGHTER ] 413 00:19:53,177 --> 00:19:55,582 >> ABSOLUTELY. I MAY HAVE TO NAME THE WHOLE 414 00:19:55,582 --> 00:19:58,184 TEAM. DAVANTE ADAMS HAS TO BE IN THERE 415 00:19:58,184 --> 00:19:58,551 SOMEWHERE. 416 00:19:58,551 --> 00:20:01,955 >> Jimmy: HE MENTIONS HIS FIANCEE, SHAILENE WOODLEY, WHO 417 00:20:01,955 --> 00:20:02,622 IS YOUR COSTAR. 418 00:20:02,622 --> 00:20:03,490 >> YES, SHE IS. 419 00:20:03,490 --> 00:20:06,426 >> Jimmy: IN THIS MOVIE, AND THAT'S JUST A TOTAL COINCIDENCE? 420 00:20:06,426 --> 00:20:10,129 >> I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S A COINCIDENCE. BUT YES, SHE IS. 421 00:20:10,129 --> 00:20:15,401 SHE'S FANTASTIC. SO WE SPENT A LOT OF TIME ON 422 00:20:15,401 --> 00:20:17,670 "MAURITANIAN" TOGETHER IN A TENT, AIR CONDITIONING SPITTING 423 00:20:17,670 --> 00:20:20,440 AT US, TALKING ABOUT OUR LIVES AND RECIPES AND PEOPLE WE HATE, 424 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:21,474 THINGS LIKE THAT. 425 00:20:21,474 --> 00:20:21,807 [ LAUGHTER ] 426 00:20:21,807 --> 00:20:22,442 >> Jimmy: THE GREEN BAY PACKERS. 427 00:20:22,442 --> 00:20:24,310 >> AND THE GREEN BAY PACKERS SOMEHOW CAME UP. 428 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:28,615 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE ONE OF ‐‐ I THINK PEOPLE MOSTLY KNOW MASTER 429 00:20:28,615 --> 00:20:32,886 CLASS, PROMINENT PEOPLE WILL TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO ‐‐ LIKE 430 00:20:32,886 --> 00:20:34,988 STEVE MARTIN DOES A THING ON COMEDY. 431 00:20:34,988 --> 00:20:39,526 AND YOU HAVE A SEGMENT ON A ‐‐ A BUNCH OF SEGMENTS ON DIRECTING. 432 00:20:39,526 --> 00:20:42,896 AND THERE ARE OTHER DIRECTORS INVOLVED AS WELL. 433 00:20:42,896 --> 00:20:45,064 WHOSE IDEA WAS IT FOR YOU TO DO THIS? 434 00:20:45,064 --> 00:20:47,267 >> IT WAS THEIR IDEA. THEY CAME TO ME. 435 00:20:47,267 --> 00:20:49,269 AND I THOUGHT, THIS IS RIDICULOUS, WHAT COULD I EVER 436 00:20:49,269 --> 00:20:54,574 DO ‐‐ ESPECIALLY AS A DIRECTOR. I WATCHED THE ONE WITH MARTIN 64 437 00:20:54,574 --> 00:20:57,477 REESE AND RON HOWARD. I THOUGHT, WHY WOULD THEY EVER 438 00:20:57,477 --> 00:21:00,280 WANT ME? I DECIDED THAT IT WOULD BE 439 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:04,417 INTERESTING FOR PEOPLE TO SEE HOW TO MAKE MOVIES ON THEIR OWN. 440 00:21:04,417 --> 00:21:07,854 AND AS AN ACTOR AND A DIRECTOR, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DO ALL THE 441 00:21:07,854 --> 00:21:10,557 HATS, PLAY ALL THE HATS. SO I THOUGHT, THAT'S KIND OF THE 442 00:21:10,557 --> 00:21:12,458 FOCUS OF MINE. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU HAVE NO 443 00:21:12,458 --> 00:21:14,761 MONEY AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE A MOVIE ON YOUR OWN? 444 00:21:14,761 --> 00:21:18,064 >> Jimmy: WHICH IS HOW MOST PEOPLE MAKE MOVIES. 445 00:21:18,064 --> 00:21:20,199 EVERYBODY'S MAKING A MOVIE WITH THEIR PHONE. 446 00:21:20,199 --> 00:21:23,002 THAT IS SOMETHING ‐‐ DID YOU HAVE, WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG, DID 447 00:21:23,002 --> 00:21:24,103 YOU HAVE THE CAMERA EQUIPMENT? 448 00:21:24,103 --> 00:21:24,571 >> NO. 449 00:21:24,571 --> 00:21:26,439 >> Jimmy: THAT KIND OF STUFF? YOU DIDN'T? 450 00:21:26,439 --> 00:21:31,010 >> NO, BUT I GREW UP ON MOVIE SETS, THAT WAS MY FILM SCHOOL. 451 00:21:31,010 --> 00:21:32,712 >> Jimmy: YOU TEACH PEOPLE ‐‐ ONE OF THE THINGS YOU TALK ABOUT 452 00:21:32,712 --> 00:21:36,249 IS TO GO TO A MOVIE, WATCH THE MOVIE, THEN GO HOME AND THINK 453 00:21:36,249 --> 00:21:38,518 ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD HAVE DONE IT DIFFERENTLY. 454 00:21:38,518 --> 00:21:40,019 >> RIGHT. INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING. 455 00:21:40,019 --> 00:21:40,887 >> Jimmy: YEAH, INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING. 456 00:21:40,887 --> 00:21:42,689 [ LAUGHTER ] 457 00:21:42,689 --> 00:21:43,022 >> YES. 458 00:21:43,022 --> 00:21:45,925 >> Jimmy: INSTEAD OF JUST CRITICIZING THE MOVIE AFTERWARDS. 459 00:21:45,925 --> 00:21:46,258 >> RIGHT. 460 00:21:46,258 --> 00:21:49,796 >> Jimmy: WHICH GIVES EVERYONE AROUND YOU THE IDEA THAT YOU 461 00:21:49,796 --> 00:21:50,597 WOULD HAVE SOMEHOW DONE IT BETTER. 462 00:21:50,597 --> 00:21:53,700 THE AND THE MOVIE YOU USE AS AN EXAMPLE IS "THE MARTIAN." 463 00:21:53,700 --> 00:21:54,734 >> YES, THAT'S RIGHT. 464 00:21:54,734 --> 00:21:57,370 >> Jimmy: CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, BUT THE WAY TO HAVE MADE 465 00:21:57,370 --> 00:22:02,275 "THE MARTIAN" BETTER WOULD BE TO ELIMINATE MATT DAMON FROM THE 466 00:22:02,275 --> 00:22:04,210 MOVIE. 467 00:22:04,210 --> 00:22:04,711 [ LAUGHTER ] 468 00:22:04,711 --> 00:22:05,211 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 469 00:22:05,211 --> 00:22:06,980 OR TO LEAVE HIM STRANDED ON THE PLANET MARS. 470 00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:10,984 >> ACTUALLY, I THINK WHAT I SAID WAS, WE SHOULD ONLY HAVE HIS 471 00:22:10,984 --> 00:22:14,120 EXPERIENCE ‐‐ LET'S JUST SAY YOU DECIDED YOU WANTED A MOVIE ABOUT 472 00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:16,990 BEING SOLITARY, ABOUT COMING TO TERMS WITH BEING ALONE. 473 00:22:16,990 --> 00:22:19,759 THEN YOU WOULD ONLY HAVE MATT DAMON ‐‐ 474 00:22:19,759 --> 00:22:22,495 >> Jimmy: NO, I DISAGREE WITH THAT, YES. 475 00:22:22,495 --> 00:22:22,828 [ LAUGHTER ] 476 00:22:22,828 --> 00:22:25,798 >> YOU SEE, THIS IS A GOOD FILM SCHOOL CONVERSATION. 477 00:22:25,798 --> 00:22:29,035 >> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO DO MY OWN MASTER CLASS CONTRADICTING YOUR 478 00:22:29,035 --> 00:22:31,504 MASTER CLASS. I'VE NEVER DIRECTED A FILM, NOR 479 00:22:31,504 --> 00:22:32,772 HAVE I BEEN IN ONE ‐‐ 480 00:22:32,772 --> 00:22:35,341 >> BUT IT SHOULD NOT STAR MATT DAMON? 481 00:22:35,341 --> 00:22:36,676 >> Jimmy: THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW. 482 00:22:36,676 --> 00:22:37,009 [ LAUGHTER ] 483 00:22:37,009 --> 00:22:39,596 WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A BREAK. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 484 00:22:45,437 --> 00:22:46,678 >>> I'M SAYING HE HELPED KILL 3,000 CIVILIANS AND WE'RE DOING 485 00:22:46,678 --> 00:22:47,913 EVERYTHING WE CAN TO GET HIM OUT. 486 00:22:47,913 --> 00:22:49,882 >> WE'RE DOING OUR JOB. 487 00:22:49,882 --> 00:22:52,317 >> I DID BAKE SALES FOR HIS LEGAL FUND, THAT'S NOT A PART OF 488 00:22:52,317 --> 00:22:55,521 MY JOB. MY DAD TOLD ME I'M NOT WELCOME 489 00:22:55,521 --> 00:23:01,427 HOME FOR THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR. THAT'S NOT A PART OF MY JOB. 490 00:23:01,427 --> 00:23:02,227 >> GET OUT. 491 00:23:02,227 --> 00:23:02,895 >> WHAT? 492 00:23:02,895 --> 00:23:06,598 >> YOU WANT TURKEY AND PUMPKIN PIE WITH MOM AND DAD AND UNCLE 493 00:23:06,598 --> 00:23:12,271 JOE? GO ON, GET OUT. GO HOME. YOU CAN'T WIN A CASE IF YOU 494 00:23:12,271 --> 00:23:12,771 DON'T BELIEVE YOUR OWN 495 00:23:12,771 --> 00:23:16,074 [ BLEEP ]. 496 00:23:16,074 --> 00:23:16,575 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 497 00:23:16,575 --> 00:23:21,146 >> Jimmy: THAT IS JODIE FOSTER AND SHAILENE WOODLEY IN "THE 498 00:23:21,146 --> 00:23:23,715 MAURITANIAN," WHICH IS A REALLY GOOD MOVIE, AND I HAVE TO SAY, 499 00:23:23,715 --> 00:23:26,618 IT'S UPSETTING. AND IT MAKES YOU MAD. 500 00:23:26,618 --> 00:23:29,955 AND SOMETIMES YOU GET THIS IDEA THAT, WELL, WHEN THE GOOD GUYS 501 00:23:29,955 --> 00:23:35,727 ARE IN CHARGE, THINGS ARE GOOD AND IT'S NOT THAT AT ALL, IS IT? 502 00:23:35,727 --> 00:23:39,531 >> NO. IT HAPPENS ‐‐ WELL, IT'S ABOUT 503 00:23:39,531 --> 00:23:41,834 WHAT HAPPENED AFTER 9/11. A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE PICKED UP 504 00:23:41,834 --> 00:23:45,537 IN THIS EXTRAORDINARY RENDITION. THEY BASICALLY WERE ABDUCTED 505 00:23:45,537 --> 00:23:49,675 FROM THEIR HOMES, MUSLIM MEN, AND TAKEN ALL OVER THE WORLD. 506 00:23:49,675 --> 00:23:55,347 IN THIS CASE, MOHAMMAD WAS BROUGHT TO GUANTANAMO BAY WHERE 507 00:23:55,347 --> 00:23:57,483 HE WAS FOR 14 YEARS AND NEVER CHARGED WITH ANYTHING. 508 00:23:57,483 --> 00:24:01,220 I PLAY THE LAWYER THAT HELPS HIM GET HIS BOOK WRITTEN AND HELPED 509 00:24:01,220 --> 00:24:02,321 HIM GET OUT. 510 00:24:02,321 --> 00:24:05,691 >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE RULE RATHER THAN THE EXCEPTION AT GUANTANAMO 511 00:24:05,691 --> 00:24:06,056 BAY. 512 00:24:06,056 --> 00:24:10,762 >> YEAH, THE WHOLE POINT AT GUANTANAMO IS WE CAN OPERATE 513 00:24:10,762 --> 00:24:12,431 THIS GARRISON STATE OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES SO WE CAN DO 514 00:24:12,431 --> 00:24:17,669 THINGS THAT ARE AGAINST THE LAW AND GET AWAY WITH IT. 515 00:24:17,669 --> 00:24:20,639 THERE ARE STILL ABOUT 40 PEOPLE IN GUANTANAMO BEING GUARDED BY 516 00:24:20,639 --> 00:24:24,443 THOUSANDS OF MILITARY PERSONNEL, MANY NEVER CHARGED WITH 517 00:24:24,443 --> 00:24:26,512 ANYTHING, THEY'VE BEEN THERE FOR YEARS. 518 00:24:26,512 --> 00:24:30,716 >> Jimmy: THE LAWYER YOU PLAYED, I ASSUME SHE'S SEEN THE FILM? 519 00:24:30,716 --> 00:24:31,081 >> YES. 520 00:24:31,081 --> 00:24:32,851 >> Jimmy: WAS SHE HAPPY WITH HER PORTRAYAL? 521 00:24:32,851 --> 00:24:36,355 >> YES, I THINK SHE WAS HAPPY, BUT I DID WARN HER I WAS GOING 522 00:24:36,355 --> 00:24:40,893 TO BE MEANER THAN SHE WAS. 523 00:24:40,893 --> 00:24:42,461 [ LAUGHTER ] 524 00:24:42,461 --> 00:24:43,061 I WAS A LOVELY PERSON, BUT. 525 00:24:43,061 --> 00:24:43,562 >> Jimmy: THAT'S NO FUN? 526 00:24:43,562 --> 00:24:45,797 >> YEAH. SHE'S TOUGH. SHE'S TOUGH BUT SHE'S NOT AS 527 00:24:45,797 --> 00:24:46,865 TOUGH AS THE PERSON I PLAY. 528 00:24:46,865 --> 00:24:50,903 >> Jimmy: THE KID WHO PLAYED MOHAMMAD, THE MAN, HE WAS 529 00:24:50,903 --> 00:24:53,872 TERRIFIC. HE'S REALLY GREAT. 530 00:24:53,872 --> 00:24:58,043 >> TARIR RAHIM, FRENCH ACTOR, HE'S WONDERFUL. 531 00:24:58,043 --> 00:25:00,479 >> Jimmy: AT THE END OF THE FILM ‐‐ I'M WORRIED I'M GOING TO 532 00:25:00,479 --> 00:25:07,519 RUN SOMETHING, BUT NO, I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO RUIN AN 533 00:25:07,519 --> 00:25:09,154 ANYTHING. WE SEE VIDEO OF THE REAL MAN. 534 00:25:09,154 --> 00:25:11,857 >> THE REAL MOHAMMAD, YES. 535 00:25:11,857 --> 00:25:12,724 >> Jimmy: HE'S VERY CHARMING. 536 00:25:12,724 --> 00:25:14,159 >> YOU WOULD LOVE HIM. 537 00:25:14,159 --> 00:25:16,228 >> Jimmy: HE'S SINGING ALONG TO BOB DYLAN? 538 00:25:16,228 --> 00:25:22,334 >> YES, HE'S SEEN "THE BIG LEBOWSKI" 80 TIMES. 539 00:25:22,334 --> 00:25:22,700 [ LAUGHTER ] 540 00:25:22,700 --> 00:25:24,937 >> HE'S A HUGE FAN OF AMERICAN CULTURE. 541 00:25:24,937 --> 00:25:26,638 FUNNY, SUPER AFFECTIONATE, JOYFUL. 542 00:25:26,638 --> 00:25:28,874 HE HAS SO MUCH TO TEACH US ABOUT HUMANITY. 543 00:25:28,874 --> 00:25:31,777 >> Jimmy: I'M SO MISERABLE AND I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN LONELY IN 544 00:25:31,777 --> 00:25:32,344 PRISON. 545 00:25:32,344 --> 00:25:32,711 [ LAUGHTER ] 546 00:25:32,711 --> 00:25:34,212 >> I KNOW, I KNOW. 547 00:25:34,212 --> 00:25:36,548 >> Jimmy: SO DID HE KNOW YOUR MOVIES? 548 00:25:36,548 --> 00:25:41,086 >> THE ONLY MOVIE HE'D SEEN OF MINE WAS "MAVERICK." 549 00:25:41,086 --> 00:25:44,156 HE'D SEEN IT A FEW TIMES SO HE KEPT PLAYING LINES BACK TO ME. 550 00:25:44,156 --> 00:25:44,522 [ LAUGHTER ] 551 00:25:44,522 --> 00:25:45,223 >> Jimmy: REALLY? 552 00:25:45,223 --> 00:25:48,460 >> I THINK HE WAS CONFUSED ABOUT WHY THEY WOULD HIRE THE GIRL 553 00:25:48,460 --> 00:25:54,066 FROM "MAVERICK" TO PLAY NANCY HAALANDER. "SHE'S VERY CUTE." 554 00:25:54,066 --> 00:25:56,835 >> Jimmy: I THINK "SILENCE OF THE LAMBS" WOULD HAVE BEEN EVEN 555 00:25:56,835 --> 00:25:57,235 MORE CONFUSING. 556 00:25:57,235 --> 00:25:57,669 >> YES. 557 00:25:57,669 --> 00:26:00,906 >> Jimmy: WHEN I SEE YOU IN THOSE SCENES WITH THE CELL, THAT 558 00:26:00,906 --> 00:26:01,707 IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF. 559 00:26:01,707 --> 00:26:04,042 >> YEAH, YOU DO THINK OF THAT BECAUSE OF THE PRISON THING. 560 00:26:04,042 --> 00:26:05,577 >> Jimmy: YEAH. DID YOU THINK OF THAT? 561 00:26:05,577 --> 00:26:09,781 THAT MOVIE IS 30 YEARS AGO VALENTINE'S DAY. 562 00:26:09,781 --> 00:26:10,816 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 563 00:26:10,816 --> 00:26:11,182 [ APPLAUSE ] 564 00:26:11,182 --> 00:26:14,920 >> Jimmy: I NEVER IMAGINED. WHAT A VALENTINE'S DAY MOVIE. 565 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:18,323 >> A GREAT DATE MOVIE, ACTUALLY. 566 00:26:18,323 --> 00:26:18,690 [ LAUGHTER ] 567 00:26:18,690 --> 00:26:24,563 >> Jimmy: IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU. THE MOVIE IS GREAT, "MAU 568 00:26:24,563 --> 00:26:26,164 "MAURITANIAN." IT'S NOT "THE MANDALORIAN," 569 00:26:26,164 --> 00:26:30,369 THERE'S NO BABY YODA, DO NOT BE CONFUSED. JODIE FOSTER. 570 00:26:30,369 --> 00:26:31,425 THANK YOU. BE BACK WITH KELLY MARIE TRAN! 571 00:26:36,867 --> 00:26:38,158 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 572 00:26:38,158 --> 00:26:38,553 ♪ 573 00:26:38,553 --> 00:26:41,082 >> Jimmy: MUSIC PRESENT BLACK PUMAS IS ON THE WAY. 574 00:26:41,082 --> 00:26:43,050 YOU KNOW OUR NEXT GUEST FROM THE LAST TWO "STAR WARS" MOVIES, NOW 575 00:26:43,050 --> 00:26:45,820 SHE SWAPS DROIDS FOR DRAGONS IN "RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON." 576 00:26:45,820 --> 00:26:47,688 IT'S IN THEATRES AND ON DISNEY PLUS PREMIER ACCESS STARTING 577 00:26:47,688 --> 00:26:54,228 MARCH 5th. PLEASE WELCOME KELLY MARIE TRAN. 578 00:26:54,228 --> 00:26:54,728 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 579 00:26:54,728 --> 00:27:05,506 ♪ 580 00:27:05,506 --> 00:27:06,907 >> Jimmy: WELCOME, THANK YOU FOR COMING. 581 00:27:06,907 --> 00:27:08,309 >> THANKS FOR HAVING ME. 582 00:27:08,309 --> 00:27:09,643 >> Jimmy: THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL DRESS YOU HAVE. 583 00:27:09,643 --> 00:27:13,489 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH, I FEEL LIKE AN ICE SKATER. 584 00:27:13,489 --> 00:27:14,957 >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING? 585 00:27:14,957 --> 00:27:16,559 >> I'M DOING REALLY WELL, HOW ARE YOU? 586 00:27:16,559 --> 00:27:19,762 >> Jimmy: DOING WELL. THE LAST DUE TIMES YOU WERE HERE 587 00:27:19,762 --> 00:27:22,198 WAS WITH THE WHOLE CAST OF "STAR WARS." 588 00:27:22,198 --> 00:27:24,667 NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE YOURSELF, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING 589 00:27:24,667 --> 00:27:26,436 THAT HAPPENED IN 2013. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 590 00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:31,874 >> OH MY GOD, 2013? WHAT YEAR IS IT NOW? 2021? 591 00:27:31,874 --> 00:27:32,608 >> Jimmy: 2021. 592 00:27:32,608 --> 00:27:34,010 >> OH, MATH, BAD. 593 00:27:34,010 --> 00:27:36,913 >> Jimmy: GUILLERMO, GRAB THE ABACUS! 594 00:27:36,913 --> 00:27:37,380 [ LAUGHTER ] 595 00:27:37,380 --> 00:27:38,247 >> I WAS PROBABLY 26. 596 00:27:38,247 --> 00:27:42,051 >> Jimmy: OKAY. SO YOU'RE 26 YEARS OLD. 597 00:27:42,051 --> 00:27:42,452 >> YEAH. 598 00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:44,887 >> Jimmy: ONE OF YOUR FIRST ACTING JOBS WAS HERE ON THIS 599 00:27:44,887 --> 00:27:45,220 SHOW. 600 00:27:45,220 --> 00:27:49,025 >> YEAH, I WAS PROBABLY 24. THERE YOU GO, YEAH. 601 00:27:49,025 --> 00:27:50,059 I WAS ON YOUR SHOW. 602 00:27:50,059 --> 00:27:53,629 >> Jimmy: YOU WERE ON THE SHOW. THE IDEA OF THE ‐‐ YOU EVEN 603 00:27:53,629 --> 00:27:58,634 REMEMBER WHAT WE WERE DOING. JIM O'HARE, "PARKS AND REC," 604 00:27:58,634 --> 00:28:01,504 FUNNY GUY, WAS PLAYING JUSTIN BIEBER MANY YEARS IN THE FUTURE. 605 00:28:01,504 --> 00:28:01,869 YEP. 606 00:28:01,869 --> 00:28:04,674 [ LAUGHTER ] 607 00:28:04,674 --> 00:28:07,477 >> Jimmy: AND YOU WERE A KID SINGING IN IT, LET'S TAKE A LOOK. 608 00:28:07,477 --> 00:28:09,946 >> HE LOST HIS GROOVE. 609 00:28:09,946 --> 00:28:12,181 ♪ AND MY HEART GOES BANG BANG 610 00:28:12,181 --> 00:28:12,648 BANG ♪ 611 00:28:12,648 --> 00:28:15,718 >> YEAH, BANG, BANG, BANG! I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE. 612 00:28:15,718 --> 00:28:21,224 BANG! BANG! 613 00:28:21,224 --> 00:28:21,724 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 614 00:28:21,724 --> 00:28:22,992 >> Jimmy: SINGING INTO A FLASHLIGHT. 615 00:28:22,992 --> 00:28:25,461 >> YEP. THAT WAS MY BIG BREAK, ACTUALLY. 616 00:28:25,461 --> 00:28:25,828 [ LAUGHTER ] 617 00:28:25,828 --> 00:28:26,629 >> Jimmy: WAS IT? 618 00:28:26,629 --> 00:28:27,028 >> IT WAS. 619 00:28:27,028 --> 00:28:30,299 >> Jimmy: MAY HAVE BROKEN A HIP. HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU GET 620 00:28:30,299 --> 00:28:31,601 PUSHED OFF THAT STAGE? 621 00:28:31,601 --> 00:28:35,872 >> I THINK AT LEAST FOUR OR FIVE. YEAH. YEAH. 622 00:28:35,872 --> 00:28:40,309 IT WAS SO FUN, THOUGH. AND ALSO, I REMEMBER BEING SO 623 00:28:40,309 --> 00:28:42,044 NERVOUS TO GET HERE, TO GET HERE ON TIME. 624 00:28:42,044 --> 00:28:44,013 I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE FIRED FOR SOME REASON. 625 00:28:44,013 --> 00:28:47,083 I WAS LIKE, I'M GOING TO GET FIRED, I JUST KNOW I'M GOING TO 626 00:28:47,083 --> 00:28:49,552 GET FIRED. BUT I HAD A WONDERFUL TIME BEING 627 00:28:49,552 --> 00:28:50,353 PUSHED OFF THAT STAGE. 628 00:28:50,353 --> 00:28:54,157 >> Jimmy: YEAH, SURE. DID YOU ACT IN HIGH SCHOOL? 629 00:28:54,157 --> 00:28:55,158 DID YOU DO THEATER AND THAT SORT OF THING? 630 00:28:55,158 --> 00:28:55,491 >> I DID. 631 00:28:55,491 --> 00:28:55,958 >> Jimmy: YOU DID. 632 00:28:55,958 --> 00:29:00,263 >> I WAS IN, LIKE, 5 MILLION CLUBS YEAH. 633 00:29:00,263 --> 00:29:02,598 >> Jimmy: 5 MILLION CLUBS? WHAT CLUBS WERE YOU IN? 634 00:29:02,598 --> 00:29:08,938 >> I WAS A ‐‐ I WAS VICE PRESIDENT OF MY CHOIR IN HIGH 635 00:29:08,938 --> 00:29:13,809 SCHOOL. I WAS CO‐PRESIDENT OF THE VIETNAMESE STUDENT ASSOCIATION. 636 00:29:13,809 --> 00:29:19,949 I WAS SPIRIT AND PUBLICITY CHAIR OF PEER COUNCIL ‐‐ SEE HOW 637 00:29:19,949 --> 00:29:21,617 ANNOYING I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL? 638 00:29:21,617 --> 00:29:22,017 [ LAUGHTER ] 639 00:29:22,017 --> 00:29:24,654 >> Jimmy: WERE YOU DOING THAT TO BUILD A COLLEGE RESUME OR JUST 640 00:29:24,654 --> 00:29:27,223 INTO BEING PART OF THOSE GROUPS? 641 00:29:27,223 --> 00:29:30,193 >> WAS ABSOLUTELY DOING IT FOR A COLLEGE RESUME. 642 00:29:30,193 --> 00:29:34,430 I REALLY FEEL LIKE I WAS REESE WITHERSPOON IN "ELECTION." 643 00:29:34,430 --> 00:29:36,499 >> Jimmy: YOU HAD ALL THESE THING ON THIS THE RESUME. 644 00:29:36,499 --> 00:29:39,835 I WONDER IF AT ANY POINT THESE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PEOPLE LOOK 645 00:29:39,835 --> 00:29:43,339 AT THIS STUFF AND GO, WHOA, THIS IS TOO MUCH. 646 00:29:43,339 --> 00:29:43,738 [ LAUGHTER ] 647 00:29:43,738 --> 00:29:44,071 YOU KNOW? 648 00:29:44,071 --> 00:29:47,276 >> YOU KNOW, IF THEY DO, IT WAS PROBABLY WITH MY APPLICATION. 649 00:29:47,276 --> 00:29:47,977 >> Jimmy: IT WAS BECAUSE OF YOU. 650 00:29:47,977 --> 00:29:48,744 >> YEAH, YEAH. 651 00:29:48,744 --> 00:29:53,015 >> Jimmy: SO YOU WERE CO‐PRESIDENT. 652 00:29:53,015 --> 00:29:54,050 WERE YOU PRESIDENT OF ANY OF THE GROUPS? 653 00:29:54,050 --> 00:29:57,220 >> NO, JIMMY, I WASN'T, OKAY, YEAH. 654 00:29:57,220 --> 00:29:59,989 >> Jimmy: YOU GRAVITATE TOWARDS A SUPPORT ROLE. 655 00:29:59,989 --> 00:30:02,692 >> GRAVITATED TOWARDS HAVING A TITLE BUT NOT HAVING TO DO 656 00:30:02,692 --> 00:30:03,058 EVERYTHING. 657 00:30:03,058 --> 00:30:03,492 >> Jimmy: I GOTCHA. 658 00:30:03,492 --> 00:30:04,961 >> GOT IT? YEAH. 659 00:30:04,961 --> 00:30:06,429 >> Jimmy: YOU BROUGHT SOMETHING ALONG. 660 00:30:06,429 --> 00:30:06,862 >> I DID. 661 00:30:06,862 --> 00:30:09,465 >> Jimmy: YOU WERE HAVING CONVERSATION WITH OUR PRODUCER 662 00:30:09,465 --> 00:30:11,534 ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE LIKE AS A KID AND WHAT YOU WERE UP TO. 663 00:30:11,534 --> 00:30:12,635 >> YEAH. 664 00:30:12,635 --> 00:30:14,437 >> Jimmy: AND TELL US WHAT YOU HAVE FOR US HERE. 665 00:30:14,437 --> 00:30:16,572 >> OKAY, I HAVE A REAL TREAT FOR YOU. 666 00:30:16,572 --> 00:30:17,240 >> Jimmy: OKAY, GREAT. 667 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:20,009 >> I'M REALLY EXCITED. ACTUALLY, I'M VERY EMBARRASSED 668 00:30:20,009 --> 00:30:24,847 TO SHARE THIS. SO, LIKE I SAID, I WAS IN A 669 00:30:24,847 --> 00:30:28,284 BUNCH OF CLUBS IN HIGH SCHOOL. AND MY EMAIL, WHICH I STILL HAVE 670 00:30:28,284 --> 00:30:35,491 ACCESS TO, WAS LIL UNDERSCORE 671 00:30:35,491 --> 00:30:40,896 DISNEY UNDERSCORE DORKO AT ‐‐ 672 00:30:40,896 --> 00:30:45,701 I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU THE AT ‐‐ DOT COM. 673 00:30:45,701 --> 00:30:50,306 >> Jimmy: DOES THAT MEAN YOU TRIED LIL DISNEY DORKO AND IT 674 00:30:50,306 --> 00:30:50,973 WAS TAKEN? 675 00:30:50,973 --> 00:30:53,609 >> I'M PRETTY SURE. WHO HAS EMAILS WITH UNDERSCORES, 676 00:30:53,609 --> 00:30:57,113 AM I RIGHT? BUT SOMEONE HAD ALREADY TAKEN 677 00:30:57,113 --> 00:31:00,383 THOSE OTHER ONES SO I HAD TO HAVE THE UNDERSCORE. 678 00:31:00,383 --> 00:31:04,353 I STILL HAVE ACCESS TO THIS EMAIL ADDRESS, AS YOU DO. 679 00:31:04,353 --> 00:31:08,124 AND I LOOKED UP THE OTHER DAY ‐‐ I WAS LIKE, OH. 680 00:31:08,124 --> 00:31:10,226 I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT, WHAT WAS I LIKE WHEN I WAS IN HIGH 681 00:31:10,226 --> 00:31:12,161 SCHOOL? I FOUND ALL THESE EMAILS THAT I 682 00:31:12,161 --> 00:31:15,531 SENT OUT TO THE MANY CLUBS I WAS IN. 683 00:31:15,531 --> 00:31:16,932 I'M GOING TO READ ONE FOR YOU. 684 00:31:16,932 --> 00:31:18,234 >> Jimmy: PLEASE DO, GO AHEAD. 685 00:31:18,234 --> 00:31:21,203 >> BIG TREAT. HELLO, MEMBERS OF THE SPIRIT 686 00:31:21,203 --> 00:31:22,838 PUBLICITY COMMITTEE FOR CLASS COUNCIL. 687 00:31:22,838 --> 00:31:25,374 JUST A FEW ANNOUNCEMENTS AND ASSIGNMENTS. 688 00:31:25,374 --> 00:31:28,277 FIRST OF ALL, AS YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW, WE HAVE A CAR WASH 689 00:31:28,277 --> 00:31:30,279 COMING UP, AS WELL AS A PEP RALLY. 690 00:31:30,279 --> 00:31:33,549 SEEING AS WE'RE ALL MEMBERS OF THE SPIRIT PUBLICITY COMMITTEE, 691 00:31:33,549 --> 00:31:36,485 I FIGURE WE SHOULD BE DOING THE SAME AMOUNT OF WORK IN ORDER TO 692 00:31:36,485 --> 00:31:39,522 MAKE OUR ACTIVITIES A SUCCESS. PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG. 693 00:31:39,522 --> 00:31:44,760 [ LAUGHTER ] 694 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,496 AND BECAUSE I BELIEVE THAT SOME OF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN TAKING THE 695 00:31:47,496 --> 00:31:52,301 INITIATIVE TO OFFER YOUR HELP, I HAVE DECIDED TO ASSIGN YOU 696 00:31:52,301 --> 00:31:53,536 THINGS TO DO. 697 00:31:53,536 --> 00:31:53,836 [ LAUGHTER ] 698 00:31:53,836 --> 00:31:58,274 OH, AND DON'T WORRY, I EVEN HAVE DESCRIPTIONS AND DIRECTIONS OF 699 00:31:58,274 --> 00:32:01,310 EXACTLY, BOLDED AND UNDERLINED WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IN CASE 700 00:32:01,310 --> 00:32:01,677 YOU'RE CONFUSED. 701 00:32:01,677 --> 00:32:01,977 [ LAUGHTER ] 702 00:32:01,977 --> 00:32:08,050 >> Jimmy: WOW. AND THIS CAME FROM LIL DISNEY 703 00:32:08,050 --> 00:32:08,484 DORKO? 704 00:32:08,484 --> 00:32:12,121 >> THIS CAME FROM LIL DISNEY DORKO. 705 00:32:12,121 --> 00:32:12,421 [ LAUGHTER ] 706 00:32:12,421 --> 00:32:16,258 >> Jimmy: DID PEOPLE LISTEN? DID THEY OBEY YOUR COMMANDS? 707 00:32:16,258 --> 00:32:18,027 >> STRANGE HE, THEY DID. 708 00:32:18,027 --> 00:32:20,429 >> Jimmy: THEY DID. PROBABLY NERVOUS, OH, THIS 709 00:32:20,429 --> 00:32:20,896 PERSON'S CRAZY. 710 00:32:20,896 --> 00:32:21,197 [ LAUGHTER ] 711 00:32:21,197 --> 00:32:23,733 >> YEAH, PROBABLY HORRIFIED BECAUSE I WAS A LITTLE BIT 712 00:32:23,733 --> 00:32:24,367 PSYCHO, YEAH. 713 00:32:24,367 --> 00:32:26,202 >> Jimmy: WERE YOU A DISNEY NUT OR SOMETHING? 714 00:32:26,202 --> 00:32:29,739 >> HUGE. I LOVED LIKE ALL THE ANIMATED 715 00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:29,939 FILMS. 716 00:32:29,939 --> 00:32:33,242 >> Jimmy: THIS MUST BE A DREAM COME TRUE FOR YOU, TO BE IN THIS 717 00:32:33,242 --> 00:32:35,044 DISNEY LEAD IN A DISNEY FILM. 718 00:32:35,044 --> 00:32:40,816 >> YEAH. YEAH, IT'S A BIG DEAL. IS. 719 00:32:40,816 --> 00:32:43,018 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU A DISNEY PRINCESS NOW? 720 00:32:43,018 --> 00:32:46,555 >> I'M TECHNICALLY A DISNEY PRINCESS, YES. 721 00:32:46,555 --> 00:32:48,224 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 722 00:32:48,224 --> 00:32:49,191 >> Jimmy: YOU DRESS LIKE A DISNEY PRINCESS. 723 00:32:49,191 --> 00:32:49,658 >> YES, THANK YOU. 724 00:32:49,658 --> 00:32:54,363 >> Jimmy: BEFORE YOU WERE A DISNEY PRINCESS, WHO WAS YOUR 725 00:32:54,363 --> 00:32:54,897 FAVORITE DISNEY PRINCESS? 726 00:32:54,897 --> 00:32:56,599 >> MULAN, ABSOLUTELY. 727 00:32:56,599 --> 00:32:59,468 >> Jimmy: NOW I ASSUME RAYA IS YOUR FAVORITE? 728 00:32:59,468 --> 00:33:00,803 >> WELL ‐‐ YEAH, PROBABLY. 729 00:33:00,803 --> 00:33:02,805 >> Jimmy: PROBABLY, YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S VERY EXCITING. 730 00:33:02,805 --> 00:33:07,943 >> YEAH. I'M STOKED. I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET TO BE PART 731 00:33:07,943 --> 00:33:12,915 OF THIS ‐‐ IT FEELS LIKE A WORLD THAT I FEEL IS STILL IMPOSSIBLE, 732 00:33:12,915 --> 00:33:15,351 BUT I'M DOING IT. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? 733 00:33:15,351 --> 00:33:16,118 >> Jimmy: NO. 734 00:33:16,118 --> 00:33:16,419 [ LAUGHTER ] 735 00:33:16,419 --> 00:33:17,553 BUT I UNDERSTAND IT. 736 00:33:17,553 --> 00:33:18,354 >> OKAY, YEAH. 737 00:33:18,354 --> 00:33:20,089 >> Jimmy: WELL, IT'S ALL WEIRD, RIGHT? 738 00:33:20,089 --> 00:33:23,359 I MEAN, ABOUT ONE DAY YOU'RE SENDING PASSIVE‐AGGRESSIVE 739 00:33:23,359 --> 00:33:25,261 EMAILS TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS. 740 00:33:25,261 --> 00:33:29,932 AND THEN SUDDENLY YOU'RE ON TELEVISION AND GETTING SHOVED 741 00:33:29,932 --> 00:33:31,867 OFF A STAGE. THEN YOU'RE IN "STAR WARS." 742 00:33:31,867 --> 00:33:35,104 THEN YOU'RE A DISNEY PRINCESS. AND EVERYBODY ELSE GOES, YEAH, 743 00:33:35,104 --> 00:33:37,840 YEAH, YEAH, THAT MAKES SENSE. BUT YOU'RE LIKE, NO, NONE OF 744 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,842 THIS MAKES SENSE THAT THIS HAPPENED. 745 00:33:39,842 --> 00:33:40,142 [ LAUGHTER ] 746 00:33:40,142 --> 00:33:42,912 >> YEAH, FEELS LIKE A WEIRD FEVER DREAM, THE WHOLE THING, 747 00:33:42,912 --> 00:33:43,179 RIGHT? 748 00:33:43,179 --> 00:33:45,614 >> Jimmy: YEAH, I WOULD IMAGINE THAT IT DOES. 749 00:33:45,614 --> 00:33:50,386 WHERE DO YOU RECORD AN ANIMATED FILM DURING COVID TIMES? 750 00:33:50,386 --> 00:33:55,391 >> I RECORDED IN A MAKESHIFT FORT AT MY BOYFRIEND'S 751 00:33:55,391 --> 00:33:59,094 APARTMENT, WHICH WAS JUST MADE OF SOUND BLANKETS TAPED TO THE 752 00:33:59,094 --> 00:34:00,296 WALL WITH DUCT TAPE. 753 00:34:00,296 --> 00:34:00,696 >> Jimmy: WOW. 754 00:34:00,696 --> 00:34:02,131 >> GLAMOROUS, YEAH. 755 00:34:02,131 --> 00:34:04,633 >> Jimmy: WOW. WERE DOGS BARKING AND STUFF LIKE 756 00:34:04,633 --> 00:34:04,934 THAT? 757 00:34:04,934 --> 00:34:09,438 >> YEAH, I REMEMBER THERE WERE DAYS WHERE I WAS LIKE, THERE'S 758 00:34:09,438 --> 00:34:13,242 CONSTRUCTION HAPPENING, MY INTERNET IS CUTTING OUT, WHAT IS 759 00:34:13,242 --> 00:34:15,811 HAPPENING? ALWAYS SOUNDS GOING ON. 760 00:34:15,811 --> 00:34:18,647 >> Jimmy: PEOPLE THINK BEING A DISNEY PRINCESS IS ALL BIRDS 761 00:34:18,647 --> 00:34:22,318 FLYING AROUND AND TAILORING YOUR CLOTHES FOR YOU BUT IT'S HARDER 762 00:34:22,318 --> 00:34:22,718 THAN THAT. 763 00:34:22,718 --> 00:34:23,252 >> IT IS. 764 00:34:23,252 --> 00:34:25,788 >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS. THE MOVIE IS CALLED "RAYA AND 765 00:34:25,788 --> 00:34:28,624 THE LAST DRAGON." I'LL WATCH IT WITH MY KIDS. 766 00:34:28,624 --> 00:34:33,596 IT'S ON DISNEY PLUS AND PREMIER ACCESS MARCH 5th AND THEATERS 767 00:34:33,596 --> 00:34:39,869 THEN TOO. KELLY MARIE TRAN! WE'LL BE BACK WITH BLACK PUMAS. 768 00:34:39,869 --> 00:34:41,837 >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS 769 00:34:41,837 --> 00:34:46,665 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ, THE BEST OR NOTHING. 770 00:34:49,014 --> 00:34:50,377 MUSIC FROM BLACK PUMAS IS ON THE WAY. 771 00:34:50,377 --> 00:34:54,419 YOU KNOW, SHAKESPEARE WROTE, "SOME ARE BORN GREAT, SOME 772 00:34:54,419 --> 00:34:57,398 ACHIEVE GREATNESS, AND SOME HAVE GREATNESS THRUST UPON THEM." 773 00:34:57,398 --> 00:35:02,604 AND RECENTLY OUR LITTLE OVER‐ACHIEVER GUILLERMO HAD 774 00:35:02,604 --> 00:35:07,342 SOMETHING GREAT THRUST UPON HIM. 775 00:35:07,342 --> 00:35:10,578 >> Guillermo: TO BE OR NOT TO BE, THAT IS THE QUESTION. 776 00:35:10,578 --> 00:35:15,783 >> STOP, STOP! GUILLERMO, YOUR PERFORMANCE IS 777 00:35:15,783 --> 00:35:16,117 LAMENTABLE. 778 00:35:16,117 --> 00:35:16,718 >> Guillermo: OH, THANK YOU. 779 00:35:16,718 --> 00:35:22,590 >> THE LINE IS, "TO BE OR NOT TO BE." 780 00:35:22,590 --> 00:35:26,327 >> Guillermo: THAT'S WHAT I SAID, TO BE OR NOT TO BE. 781 00:35:26,327 --> 00:35:30,398 >> YOU KEEP SAYING TUBI. LIKE THE FANTASTIC FREE 782 00:35:30,398 --> 00:35:30,832 STREAMING SERVICE. 783 00:35:30,832 --> 00:35:33,568 >> Guillermo: I DON'T UNDERSTAND, SPEAK ENGLISH. 784 00:35:33,568 --> 00:35:37,739 >> I AM, I'M FROM ENGLAND. NEVER MIND. 785 00:35:37,739 --> 00:35:41,042 TUBI HAS AN ENORMOUS STREAMING LIBRARY WITH 30,000 GREAT MOVIES 786 00:35:41,042 --> 00:35:44,012 AND TV SHOWS TO KEEP YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ENDLESSLY 787 00:35:44,012 --> 00:35:48,249 ENTERTAINED AND IT'S 100% FREE. THERE'S NO SUBSCRIPTION, NO 788 00:35:48,249 --> 00:35:51,019 HIDDEN FEES. DOWNLOAD THE APP AND START 789 00:35:51,019 --> 00:35:51,786 WATCHING FOR FREE. 790 00:35:51,786 --> 00:35:53,454 >> Guillermo: THEY HAVE OMELETTES? 791 00:35:53,454 --> 00:35:58,359 >> YES, ANYTHING YOU LIKE. BLOCKBUSTER HITS, ROM‐COMS, 792 00:35:58,359 --> 00:36:00,762 MOVIES IN ESPANOL. 793 00:36:00,762 --> 00:36:03,298 >> Guillermo: SO WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING THIS FOR? 794 00:36:03,298 --> 00:36:05,566 >> I DON'T KNOW. 795 00:36:05,566 --> 00:36:06,573 >> Dicky: DOWNLOAD THE TUBI APP NOW AND START STREAMING FOR FREE. 796 00:36:09,143 --> 00:36:10,384 >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS 797 00:36:10,384 --> 00:36:11,952 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ, THE BEST OR NOTHING. 798 00:36:11,952 --> 00:36:14,522 >> Jimmy: THANKS TO JODIE FOSTER, KELLY MARIE TRAN. 799 00:36:14,522 --> 00:36:18,659 APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT BUT FIRST, 800 00:36:18,659 --> 00:36:20,261 WE DEDICATE THIS TO OUR FRIENDS IN TEXAS, WHERE WE HOPE IT WARMS 801 00:36:20,261 --> 00:36:21,095 UP SOON. THIS IS THE DELUXE EDITION OF 802 00:36:21,095 --> 00:36:24,398 THEIR SELF‐TITLED ALBUM, WITH THE SONG "KNOW YOU BETTER." 803 00:36:24,398 --> 00:36:27,101 FROM AUSTIN, BLACK PUMAS. 804 00:36:27,101 --> 00:36:30,237 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 805 00:36:32,473 --> 00:36:36,410 ♪ 806 00:36:36,410 --> 00:36:39,647 ♪ 807 00:36:39,647 --> 00:36:44,919 ♪ I WANT TO KNOW YOU 808 00:36:44,919 --> 00:36:46,420 ♪ LET'S FLOAT ON 809 00:36:46,420 --> 00:36:52,193 OUT ON THIS MOTHERSHIP, BABY LET'S TAKE CONTROL OF IT 810 00:36:52,193 --> 00:36:59,934 GET IT TOGETHER ♪ 811 00:36:59,934 --> 00:37:03,104 ♪ FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE 812 00:37:03,104 --> 00:37:09,110 FOR MY HONEY BABY MAKE YOU WANNA SING, GET UP 813 00:37:09,110 --> 00:37:14,548 LOCK HANDS AND ♪ 814 00:37:14,548 --> 00:37:21,088 ♪ SWAY WITH ME THROUGH THE FIRE 815 00:37:21,088 --> 00:37:22,056 FILLING AROUND THE BLAZE GET IT TOGETHER 816 00:37:22,056 --> 00:37:25,025 I CAN'T GET COMFORTABLE ♪ 817 00:37:25,025 --> 00:37:28,395 ♪ WITH ME LISTENING 818 00:37:28,395 --> 00:37:32,233 TO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY ABOUT IT ♪ 819 00:37:32,233 --> 00:37:37,171 ♪ BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW YOU 820 00:37:37,171 --> 00:37:42,443 BETTER AND I GOTTA TAKE THIS TIME ♪ 821 00:37:42,443 --> 00:37:44,378 ♪ STOP AND SEE THE WEATHER 822 00:37:44,378 --> 00:37:50,551 I GOTTA LOVE YOU RIGHT I WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER 823 00:37:50,551 --> 00:37:56,357 OH YEAH BABE ♪ 824 00:37:56,357 --> 00:38:00,094 ♪ 825 00:38:00,094 --> 00:38:01,762 ♪ JUST FEELING LIKE YOU'RE 826 00:38:01,762 --> 00:38:05,733 FEELING ME I'M FEELING YOU TOO ♪ 827 00:38:05,733 --> 00:38:12,439 ♪ SO LET'S MOVE FORWARD FORWARD 828 00:38:12,439 --> 00:38:15,342 LET US BE UNIFIED ♪ 829 00:38:15,342 --> 00:38:20,347 ♪ BABY OUT OF THIS GALAXY MOVING 830 00:38:20,347 --> 00:38:25,953 FREE IN THE WAY WE MOVE ♪ 831 00:38:25,953 --> 00:38:32,393 ♪ AS WE REALIZE HOW WE MOVE GET 832 00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:33,394 IT TOGETHER ♪ 833 00:38:33,394 --> 00:38:36,463 ♪ LIGHT UP MY FIRE BANK 834 00:38:36,463 --> 00:38:43,571 THAT'S MY SOUL HOLD HANDS CAUSE 835 00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:45,206 EVERYTHING'S EVERYTHING'S KNOWN ♪ 836 00:38:45,206 --> 00:38:50,044 ♪ GET IT TOGETHER FREE AND WE'RE 837 00:38:50,044 --> 00:38:52,379 GOING TO FLY TOGETHER ♪ 838 00:38:52,379 --> 00:38:56,517 ♪ AS WE REALIZE HOW TO REALLY 839 00:38:56,517 --> 00:38:58,319 GROOVE ♪ 840 00:38:58,319 --> 00:39:02,022 ♪ CAUSE I WANT TO KNOW YOU 841 00:39:02,022 --> 00:39:03,891 BETTER I'D LOVE TO TAKE THIS TIME ♪ 842 00:39:03,891 --> 00:39:08,796 ♪ TO STOP AND SEE THE WEATHER 843 00:39:08,796 --> 00:39:11,098 ♪ I LOVE TO WATCH YOU SHINE 844 00:39:11,098 --> 00:39:18,105 ♪ I WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER OH 845 00:39:18,105 --> 00:39:25,012 YEAH BABY ♪ 846 00:39:25,012 --> 00:39:30,084 JUST A LITTLE BIT BETTER WHEN YOU FEEL IT THE MUSIC STARTS 847 00:39:30,084 --> 00:39:30,351 CHANGING. 848 00:39:30,351 --> 00:39:31,819 ♪ THE PUMAS REARRANGE YOU WE 849 00:39:31,819 --> 00:39:33,721 WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER ♪ 850 00:39:33,721 --> 00:39:38,759 ♪ SO ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVE TELL ME 851 00:39:38,759 --> 00:39:39,960 WHAT TO DO ♪ 852 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,129 ♪ I REALLY WANT TO GET CLOSE, 853 00:39:42,129 --> 00:39:45,499 CLOSER TO YOU PUMAS LET'S TURN OUT YEAH ♪ 854 00:39:45,499 --> 00:39:50,237 ♪ I WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER BABY 855 00:39:50,237 --> 00:39:51,472 BETTER AND BETTER ♪ 856 00:39:51,472 --> 00:39:56,410 ♪ WALKING ON THAT SUNSHINE 857 00:39:56,410 --> 00:39:57,945 TALKING TO IT ALL THE TIME ♪ 858 00:39:57,945 --> 00:40:01,282 ♪ WHEN I'M WITH YOU WHEN I'M 859 00:40:01,282 --> 00:40:04,251 WITH YOU I WANT TO KNOW YOU ♪ 860 00:40:04,251 --> 00:40:06,153 ♪ I REALLY WANT TO KNOW YOU I 861 00:40:06,153 --> 00:40:07,121 SAID I REALLY GOT TO SHOW YOU 862 00:40:07,121 --> 00:40:14,595 YEAH YEAH YEAH ♪ 863 00:40:14,595 --> 00:40:25,239 ♪ YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH 864 00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:29,243 ♪ I WANNA KNOW YOU BETTER GOT TO 865 00:40:29,243 --> 00:40:34,748 KNOW YOU BETTER NO MATTER THE WEATHER ♪ 866 00:40:34,748 --> 00:40:42,656 ♪ KNOW YOU BETTER BETTER ♪