1 00:00:02,081 --> 00:00:03,740 >> Dicky: FROM HOL, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE." 2 00:00:03,740 --> 00:00:09,746 TONIGHT, WANDA SYKES. LUCAS HEDGES. 3 00:00:09,746 --> 00:00:12,816 MUSIC FROM WAXAHATCHEE. AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 4 00:00:12,816 --> 00:00:16,953 >> Jimmy: HI, EVERYONE. I'M JIMMY. I'M THE HOST. 5 00:00:16,953 --> 00:00:19,289 THANKS FOR WATCHING. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US. 6 00:00:19,289 --> 00:00:22,092 AS THE CIRCUS CAME BACK TO TOWN IN WASHINGTON FOR THE SECOND 7 00:00:22,092 --> 00:00:25,428 IMPEACHMENT TRIAL OF DONALD O. J. TRUMP. 8 00:00:25,428 --> 00:00:25,896 [ LAUGHTER ] 9 00:00:25,896 --> 00:00:29,533 OUR CRAZY EX‐PRESIDENT WAS BACK IN THE HOT SEAT. 10 00:00:29,533 --> 00:00:31,401 HIS LAWYERS DEFENDING THE INDEFENSIBLE. 11 00:00:31,401 --> 00:00:34,004 THE OUTCOME PREDETERMINED. WE ALREADY KNOW THE REPUBLICANS 12 00:00:34,004 --> 00:00:35,272 WON'T HAVE THE NUTS TO CONVICT HIM. 13 00:00:35,272 --> 00:00:38,175 THIS TELLS YOU ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HOW SERIOUSLY MOST OF 14 00:00:38,175 --> 00:00:42,646 THESE REPUBLICAN SENATORS ARE TAKING THIS. 15 00:00:42,646 --> 00:00:46,750 RAND PAUL WAS SITTING THERE WITH NO MASK ON DOODLING SQUIGGLY 16 00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:49,152 LINES ON A WHITE PAD OF PAPER. MAYBE HE WAS DRAWING UP SOME NEW 17 00:00:49,152 --> 00:00:50,820 HAIRSTYLES. I DON'T KNOW. 18 00:00:50,820 --> 00:00:51,288 [ LAUGHTER ] 19 00:00:51,288 --> 00:00:56,226 THE TRUTH IS MOST OF THESE REPUBLICAN SENATORS, THE VAST 20 00:00:56,226 --> 00:00:59,162 MAJORITY OF THEM, WANT DONALD TRUMP TO BE IMPEACHED. 21 00:00:59,162 --> 00:01:00,397 THEY KNOW WHAT HE DID AND THEY VERY MUCH WANT HIM TO GO AWAY. 22 00:01:00,397 --> 00:01:01,565 THERE IS NOTHING THEY WOULD LIKE MORE THAN FOR TRUMP TO BE 23 00:01:01,565 --> 00:01:04,401 LEGALLY PREVENTED FROM EVER RUNNING AGAIN. 24 00:01:04,401 --> 00:01:08,138 THE REASON THEY'RE EVEN HAVING THIS TRIAL IS BECAUSE HE SENT 25 00:01:08,138 --> 00:01:10,373 MANIACS ON A PANTY RAID OF THEIR OFFICE. 26 00:01:10,373 --> 00:01:12,609 THEY'RE JUST TOO AFRAID TO DO THE RIGHT THING BECAUSE TRUMP 27 00:01:12,609 --> 00:01:14,878 AND HIS BAG OF BOILED NUTS WILL THEN TARGET THEM. 28 00:01:14,878 --> 00:01:16,613 [ LAUGHTER ] 29 00:01:16,613 --> 00:01:18,882 THEY SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO MIKE PENCE AND THEY'RE AFRAID. 30 00:01:18,882 --> 00:01:22,686 THE SAD TRUTH IS, THEY'RE A BUNCH OF COWARDS. 31 00:01:22,686 --> 00:01:25,655 THIS TRIAL STARTED WITH A VERY POWERFUL VIDEO, WE SAW 32 00:01:25,655 --> 00:01:28,291 DONALD TRUMP INCITE A CROWD, WHICH THEN STORMED THE CAPITOL 33 00:01:28,291 --> 00:01:32,829 AND VIOLENTLY ATTACKED POLICE. 34 00:01:32,829 --> 00:01:35,098 >> THE CONSTITUTION SAYS YOU HAVE TO PROTECT OUR COUNTRY, AND 35 00:01:35,098 --> 00:01:38,368 YOU HAVE TO PROTECT OUR CONSTITUTION, AND YOU CAN'T VOTE 36 00:01:38,368 --> 00:01:40,503 ON FRAUD. AND FRAUD BREAKS UP EVERYTHING, 37 00:01:40,503 --> 00:01:42,973 DOESN'T IT? WHEN YOU CATCH SOMEBODY IN THE 38 00:01:42,973 --> 00:01:48,144 FRAUD, YOU'RE ALLOWED TO GO BY VERY DIFFERENT RULES. 39 00:01:48,144 --> 00:01:55,118 SO I HOPE MIKE HAS THE COURAGE TO DO WHAT HE HAS TO DO. 40 00:01:55,118 --> 00:01:58,321 WE FIGHT. WEFYING LIKE HELL. IF YOU DON'T FIGHT LIKE HELL, 41 00:01:58,321 --> 00:02:03,393 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE A COUNTRY ANYMORE. 42 00:02:03,393 --> 00:02:07,731 >> Jimmy: AND REALLY THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IT RIGHT THERE. 43 00:02:07,731 --> 00:02:11,501 THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE, GUILTY. HE SICCED HIS DOGS ON HIS 44 00:02:11,501 --> 00:02:13,003 POODLE. BUT IT WASN'T. THEY HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS. 45 00:02:13,003 --> 00:02:14,738 REPRESENTATIVE JAMIE RASKIN SAID IF TRUMP'S ACTIONS TO INCITE THE 46 00:02:14,738 --> 00:02:18,541 CAPITOL RIOT ARE NOT CONSIDERED TO BE AN IMPEACHABLE OFFENSE, 47 00:02:18,541 --> 00:02:20,010 THEN THERE'S NO SUCH THING. AND REPUBLICANS WERE LIKE "OKAY, 48 00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:21,845 THERE'S NO SUCH THING!" GREAT, LET'S GO HOME. 49 00:02:21,845 --> 00:02:22,379 [ LAUGHTER ] 50 00:02:22,379 --> 00:02:28,618 YOU ALMOST FEEL SORRY FOR THESE GUYS, TRYING TO DEFEND HIM, A 51 00:02:28,618 --> 00:02:30,287 PLAINLY GUILTY MAN. ALAN DERSHOWITZ, WHO REPRESENTED 52 00:02:30,287 --> 00:02:31,788 TRUMP IN HIS FIRST IMPEACHMENT, FLOATED A VERY CREATIVE WAY OF 53 00:02:31,788 --> 00:02:34,991 LOOKING AT THIS. 54 00:02:34,991 --> 00:02:37,894 >> PRESIDENT TRUMP DIDN'T INCITE PEOPLE TO COME TO THE CAPITOL, 55 00:02:37,894 --> 00:02:42,132 HE INVITED THE PEOPLE. NOT INCITE. INVITE. 56 00:02:42,132 --> 00:02:45,168 HE SAID, COME PEACEFULLY AND PATRIOTIC, PROTEST. 57 00:02:45,168 --> 00:02:48,071 >> Jimmy: RIGHT, RIGHT. IT WASN'T AN INSURRECTION. 58 00:02:48,071 --> 00:02:48,538 IT WAS AN IN‐SOIRÉE! 59 00:02:48,538 --> 00:02:49,739 [ LAUGHTER ] 60 00:02:49,739 --> 00:02:51,875 THAT ARGUMENT WAS ACTUALLY BETTER THAN ANYTHING TRUMP'S 61 00:02:51,875 --> 00:02:56,746 LAWYERS HAD TO SAY. TWO TRUMP LAWYERS SPOKE. 62 00:02:56,746 --> 00:02:58,248 BRUCE CASTOR JR., THE FORMER DISTRICT ATTORNEY WHO 63 00:02:58,248 --> 00:03:00,517 FAMOUSLY DECLINED TO PROSECUTE BILL COSBY. 64 00:03:00,517 --> 00:03:06,423 AND DAVID SCHOEN, WHO FAMOUSLY REPPED JEFFREY EPSTEIN, FORMED 65 00:03:06,423 --> 00:03:10,160 THE DYNAMIC DUO HE HIRED TO SUCK ALL THE OXYGEN OUT OF THE ROOM. 66 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:14,197 CASTOR WAS THE WORST, HE SPENT 15 MINUTES JUST FLATTERING THE 67 00:03:14,197 --> 00:03:15,198 SENATORS. WATCHING THIS GUY GO WAS LIKE A 68 00:03:15,198 --> 00:03:19,302 "SEINFELD" ROUTINE WITHOUT THE PUNCHLINES. 69 00:03:19,302 --> 00:03:24,007 >> YOU EVER NOTICE HOW, WHEN YOU'RE TALKING OR YOU HEAR 70 00:03:24,007 --> 00:03:28,044 OTHERS TALKING ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU'RE HOME IN YOUR STATE, THEY 71 00:03:28,044 --> 00:03:32,015 WILL SAY, YOU KNOW, I TALKED TO MY SENATOR. 72 00:03:32,015 --> 00:03:36,219 THAT'S NOT JUST PAT TOOMEY OF PENNSYLVANIA. 73 00:03:36,219 --> 00:03:39,989 THAT'S MY SENATOR FROM PENNSYLVANIA. THAT'S MY SENATOR. 74 00:03:39,989 --> 00:03:42,425 >> Jimmy: HIDING UNDER HER DESK BECAUSE VIOLENT TRUMP SUPPORTERS 75 00:03:42,425 --> 00:03:46,062 STORMED HER OFFICE. BRUCE CASTOR, I HAVE TO BELIEVE 76 00:03:46,062 --> 00:03:49,566 TRUMP IS ON THE PHONE YELLING AT HIM RIGHT NOW. AS WE SPEAK. 77 00:03:49,566 --> 00:03:54,037 HE DOES NOT SEEM TO BE ONE OF THE "ONLY THE BEST." 78 00:03:54,037 --> 00:03:58,608 >> BUT THERE ISN'T A SINGLE ONE OF YOU WHO, "A," DOESN'T 79 00:03:58,608 --> 00:04:04,981 CONSIDER YOURSELF A PATRIOT OF THE UNITED STATES. AND TWO ‐‐ 80 00:04:04,981 --> 00:04:05,315 [ LAUGHTER ] 81 00:04:05,315 --> 00:04:08,918 THERE ISN'T A SINGLE ONE OF YOU ‐‐ 82 00:04:08,918 --> 00:04:12,122 >> Jimmy: HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY, "A" AND 83 00:04:12,122 --> 00:04:18,928 "TWO." TRUMP WAS REPORTED TO BE DEEPLY 84 00:04:18,928 --> 00:04:21,431 UNHAPPY AND ALMOST SCREAMING AT THE TELEVISION DURING THE TRIAL, 85 00:04:21,431 --> 00:04:22,565 SO THOSE GUYS AREN'T GETTING PAID. 86 00:04:22,565 --> 00:04:23,666 [ LAUGHTER ] 87 00:04:23,666 --> 00:04:24,901 THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE. THE TRIAL IS BORING. 88 00:04:24,901 --> 00:04:29,239 HIM WATCHING THE TRIAL. THAT'S WHERE THE ACTION IS. 89 00:04:29,239 --> 00:04:29,773 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 90 00:04:29,773 --> 00:04:30,874 I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING. I WANT TO KNOW WHERE HE WAS 91 00:04:30,874 --> 00:04:34,043 WATCHING, WHAT HE WAS WEARING. DID HE PUT ON A SUIT AND THE 92 00:04:34,043 --> 00:04:36,379 EXTRA‐LONG TIE? GET HIS JOWLS ALL TANNED UP? 93 00:04:36,379 --> 00:04:39,616 [ LAUGHTER ] 94 00:04:39,616 --> 00:04:41,017 WAS HE IN A PAIR OF MAGA SWEATPANTS WITH AN OREO BLIZZARD 95 00:04:41,017 --> 00:04:48,558 IN HIS LAP? I DON'T KNOW ABOUBUT I WANT TO. 96 00:04:48,558 --> 00:04:50,593 THE SENATE VOTED 56‐44 THAT THE TRIAL IS CONSTITUTIONAL. 97 00:04:50,593 --> 00:04:51,795 TOMORROW, THEY'LL HEAR OPENING ARGUMENTS. 98 00:04:51,795 --> 00:04:56,766 BUT IMPEACHMENT ISN'T THE ONLY VOTE IN TRUMP'S FUTURE. 99 00:04:56,766 --> 00:04:59,302 OFFICIALS IN PALM BEACH WHERE HE LIVES NOW ARE DISCUSSING WHETHER 100 00:04:59,302 --> 00:05:01,004 OR NOT HE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO LIVE AT MAR‐A‐LAGO. 101 00:05:01,004 --> 00:05:02,372 TECHNICALLY, HIS CLUB IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE USED AS A PRIVATE 102 00:05:02,372 --> 00:05:07,243 RESIDENCE. AND SOME OF THE NEIGHBORS WANT 103 00:05:07,243 --> 00:05:10,046 THAT RULE TO BE ENFORCED. YOU KNOW, USUALLY TO GET EVICTED 104 00:05:10,046 --> 00:05:12,048 FROM A TRUMP PROPERTY, YOU HAVE TO BE PUERTO RICAN OR BLACK. 105 00:05:12,048 --> 00:05:14,284 [ LAUGHTER ] 106 00:05:14,284 --> 00:05:16,853 BUT IN THIS CASE, IT'S ORANGE. 107 00:05:16,853 --> 00:05:21,524 [ APPLAUSE ] 108 00:05:21,524 --> 00:05:25,228 BUT IF HE DOES HAVE TO MOVE OUT OF MAR‐A‐LAGO, THE GOOD NEWS IS 109 00:05:25,228 --> 00:05:30,567 THERE'S A PLACE HE CAN GO. JOETS YMCA ♪ 110 00:05:30,567 --> 00:05:32,001 >> Jimmy: I HOPE THAT WILL HAPPEN, I REALLY DO. 111 00:05:32,001 --> 00:05:33,036 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 112 00:05:33,036 --> 00:05:35,472 HE'S DONE ENOUGH TO PROMOTE THEM. MEANWHILE, OVER IN FOX NEWS 113 00:05:35,472 --> 00:05:38,208 LAND, THEY'RE USING THE OLD "I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I?" 114 00:05:38,208 --> 00:05:40,877 APPROACH TO THIS. THE ALWAYS‐SMARMY LAURA INGRAHAM 115 00:05:40,877 --> 00:05:48,351 HAD AN INTERESTING ANGLE, AND ANGLE IS THAT BIDEN IS THE ONE 116 00:05:48,351 --> 00:05:52,222 DOING THE INSURRECTING! 117 00:05:52,222 --> 00:05:56,259 >> BIDEN'S INSURRECTION. THE DEMOCRATS IN THE MEDIA THAT 118 00:05:56,259 --> 00:05:59,496 SERVE THEM, THEY'RE LIKE ADDICTS LOOKING FOR THEIR NEXT FIX, AND 119 00:05:59,496 --> 00:06:03,967 THEIR DRUG OF CHOICE OVER THE PAST FIVE YEARS HAS BEEN DONALD 120 00:06:03,967 --> 00:06:04,300 J. TRUMP. 121 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:05,368 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WELL, SHE'S NOT WRONG ON THAT. 122 00:06:05,368 --> 00:06:08,738 [ LAUGHTER ] 123 00:06:08,738 --> 00:06:13,576 BUT HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THE REAL TRUMP SYCOPHANTS ALWAYS SAY 124 00:06:13,576 --> 00:06:15,912 DONALD J. TRUMP? NEVER JUST DONALD TRUMP. 125 00:06:15,912 --> 00:06:18,715 DONALD J., AS IF THIS J. IS SOMETHING WE SHOULD TAKE NOTE OF. 126 00:06:18,715 --> 00:06:23,286 >> THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, DONALD J. TRUMP. 127 00:06:23,286 --> 00:06:25,655 >> 74 MILLION PEOPLE VOTED FOR DONALD J. TRUMP. 128 00:06:25,655 --> 00:06:29,592 >> HALF THE COUNTRY BELIEVES THAT THIS ELECTION WAS STOLEN 129 00:06:29,592 --> 00:06:32,795 FROM DONALD J. TRUMP. 130 00:06:32,795 --> 00:06:35,398 >> THEY HATE DONAL J. TRUMP. 131 00:06:35,398 --> 00:06:37,000 >> DONALD J. TRUMP. 132 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,601 >> DONALD J. TRUMP. 133 00:06:38,601 --> 00:06:40,336 >> DONALD J. TRUMP. 134 00:06:40,336 --> 00:06:41,170 >> DONALD J. TRUMP. 135 00:06:41,170 --> 00:06:42,605 >> DONALD J. TRUMP. 136 00:06:42,605 --> 00:06:43,907 >> DONALD J. TRUMP. 137 00:06:43,907 --> 00:06:47,811 >> DONALD J. TRUMP! 138 00:06:47,811 --> 00:06:48,144 [ APPLAUSE ] 139 00:06:48,144 --> 00:06:53,483 >> Jimmy: I THINK HE LIKES THE "J" BECAUSE IT MAKES HIM SOUND 140 00:06:53,483 --> 00:06:59,155 LIKE A RICH GUY, ONLY THE RICH GUYS USE THE MIDDLE INITIAL. 141 00:06:59,155 --> 00:07:04,394 YOU NEVER GO TO APPLEBEE'S AND HEAR "MONTGOMERY T. BILLINGS 142 00:07:04,394 --> 00:07:08,131 WORTH PARTY OF FOUR." WHAT'S BARACK OBAMA'S MIDDLE 143 00:07:08,131 --> 00:07:09,999 INITIAL? YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT, 144 00:07:09,999 --> 00:07:13,636 RIGHT? BECAUSE THERE ISN'T A PARADE OF 145 00:07:13,636 --> 00:07:17,440 ASS‐DISSEST GOING "BARACK H. OEB." 146 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:22,979 THE ONLY TIME YOU HEAR ABOUT HIM IS WHEN THEY WANT TO MAKE HIM 147 00:07:22,979 --> 00:07:28,051 SOUND LIKE A TERRORIST, BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA. 148 00:07:28,051 --> 00:07:35,224 UNTIL YOU BECOME ONE‐TENTH AS BELOVED AS MICHAEL IS, SAVE THE 149 00:07:35,224 --> 00:07:37,227 "J" FOR THE STATIONERY. 150 00:07:37,227 --> 00:07:37,560 [ LAUGHTER ] 151 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,963 PRESIDENT BIDEN DID NOT WATCH THE TRIAL BUT HE DID SAY HE'S 152 00:07:39,963 --> 00:07:42,332 PLANNING TO HOST THE SUPER BOWL NBA CHAMPIONS AT THE WHITE HOUSE 153 00:07:42,332 --> 00:07:46,169 ONCE IT IS SAFE TO DO THAT. BUCCANEERS AND LAKERS WILL VISIT 154 00:07:46,169 --> 00:07:49,806 THE PRESIDENT. AND NO, BIDEN WON'T BE SERVING A 155 00:07:49,806 --> 00:07:51,274 MOUNTAIN OF BIG MACS. HE'LL BE COOKING UP A BATCH OF 156 00:07:51,274 --> 00:07:54,244 HIS SIGNATURE SLEEPY SLOPPY JOES. 157 00:07:54,244 --> 00:07:54,577 [ LAUGHTER ] 158 00:07:54,577 --> 00:07:55,745 WHICH I UNDERSTAND ARE QUITE DELICIOUS. 159 00:07:55,745 --> 00:07:59,716 MEANWHILE, IN NEW YORK, GOVERNOR CUOMO SAYS THEY'RE 160 00:07:59,716 --> 00:08:01,884 WORKING ON A PLAN TO REOPEN BROADWAY. 161 00:08:01,884 --> 00:08:03,286 SO FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN DYING TO SEE HUGH JACKMAN 162 00:08:03,286 --> 00:08:08,291 IN "THE MUSIC MAN," NOW YOU LITERALLY CAN DO THAT. 163 00:08:08,291 --> 00:08:11,127 [ LAUGHTER ] 164 00:08:11,127 --> 00:08:16,165 THEATERS WILL TAKE PRECAUTIONS. SMALLER CROWDS, COVID TESTS, THE 165 00:08:16,165 --> 00:08:18,635 PHANTOM OF THE OPERA WILL WEAR TWO MASKS. 166 00:08:18,635 --> 00:08:18,968 [ LAUGHTER ] 167 00:08:18,968 --> 00:08:22,672 THAT'S GOING TO BE A WEIRD PRESHOW ANNOUNCEMENT. 168 00:08:22,672 --> 00:08:24,374 "PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONES AND CHECK THE RESULTS OF 169 00:08:24,374 --> 00:08:26,710 YOUR RAPID TEST." 170 00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:27,043 [ LAUGHTER ] 171 00:08:27,043 --> 00:08:29,712 HERE IN L. A. THE VACCINE IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO COME BY. 172 00:08:29,712 --> 00:08:31,581 THEY'RE ONLY GIVING OUT SECOND SHOTS NOW BECAUSE WE'RE OUT OF 173 00:08:31,581 --> 00:08:37,620 THE FIRST SHOTS. PEOPLE ARE VERY ANXIOUS TO GET 174 00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:39,922 INOCULATED. AND AS A HEALTHY‐ISH MIDDLE‐AGED 175 00:08:39,922 --> 00:08:41,424 PERSON, I'M HAPPY TO WAIT MY TURN. 176 00:08:41,424 --> 00:08:43,292 BUT WITH THAT BEING SAID, THERE ARE CERTAIN GROUPS OF PEOPLE I 177 00:08:43,292 --> 00:08:47,363 THINK I SHOULD GET THE VACCINE BEFORE. 178 00:08:47,363 --> 00:08:48,297 AND I WANT TO GO THROUGH SOME OF THEM, OKAY? 179 00:08:48,297 --> 00:08:50,099 [ LAUGHTER ] 180 00:08:50,099 --> 00:08:53,270 YOU KNOW THIS, GUILLERMO. YOU TOOK YOUR MOM TO GET THE 181 00:08:53,270 --> 00:08:53,603 VACCINE. 182 00:08:53,603 --> 00:08:54,303 >> Guillermo: YES, I DID. 183 00:08:54,303 --> 00:08:56,606 >> Jimmy: THERE WERE PEOPLE IN LINE THAT MAYBE SHOULDN'T HAVE 184 00:08:56,606 --> 00:08:57,607 BEEN IN LINE? 185 00:08:57,607 --> 00:08:59,208 >> Guillermo: THAT'S RIGHT, JIMMY, YES. 186 00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:00,543 >> Jimmy: GUYS ON YOUR SOCCER TEAM? 187 00:09:00,543 --> 00:09:02,812 >> Guillermo: YES, TWO GUYS ON THEIR SOCCER TEAM. 188 00:09:02,812 --> 00:09:03,746 >> Jimmy: WHAT WERE THEIR NAMES? GO AHEAD. 189 00:09:03,746 --> 00:09:06,883 [ LAUGHTER ] 190 00:09:06,883 --> 00:09:10,219 >> Guillermo: AH. STEVE [ BLEEP ]. 191 00:09:10,219 --> 00:09:11,154 >> Jimmy: WHAT? 192 00:09:11,154 --> 00:09:12,321 >> Guillermo: HIS NAME IS STEVE 193 00:09:12,321 --> 00:09:12,655 [ BLEEP ]. 194 00:09:12,655 --> 00:09:14,123 >> Jimmy: THAT REALLY IS HIS NAME? 195 00:09:14,123 --> 00:09:17,760 >> Guillermo: THAT'S HIS NAME YEAH. AND CHRIS. CHRIS [ BLEEP ]. 196 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:18,961 THEY'RE LIKE 24 YEARS OLD. 197 00:09:18,961 --> 00:09:19,629 >> Jimmy: OH MY GOSH, NO. 198 00:09:19,629 --> 00:09:21,998 >> Guillermo: UNBELIEVABLE. 199 00:09:21,998 --> 00:09:22,331 [ APPLAUSE ] 200 00:09:22,331 --> 00:09:27,537 >> Jimmy: SEE, THOSE ARE TWO GUYS ‐‐ I SHOULD GET THE VACCINE 201 00:09:27,537 --> 00:09:29,806 BEFORE THOSE TWO. I SHOULD GET IT BEFORE ANYONE 202 00:09:29,806 --> 00:09:34,944 WHO STORM THE CAPITOL. ANYONE WHO DOESN'T WEAR A MASK. 203 00:09:34,944 --> 00:09:39,248 SMOKERS. ANTI‐VAXXERS. ANYONE WHO WORKS AT NEWSMAX. 204 00:09:39,248 --> 00:09:42,952 [ LAUGHTER ] 205 00:09:42,952 --> 00:09:45,388 ANYONE WITH THE JOB TITLE "INFLUENCER," OWNERS OF 206 00:09:45,388 --> 00:09:47,190 RECUMBENT BICYCLES, MEN WHO BRING PARROTS TO THE BEACH, 207 00:09:47,190 --> 00:09:48,424 WOMEN WHO CALL THEMSELVES 208 00:09:48,424 --> 00:09:58,134 "DOG‐MOMS," PEOPLE WHO SAY 209 00:09:58,134 --> 00:10:01,304 "SUPPOSABLY" ‐‐ 210 00:10:01,304 --> 00:10:01,637 [ LAUGHTER ] 211 00:10:01,637 --> 00:10:02,538 AND THE INVENTOR OF PACKING PEANUTS. 212 00:10:02,538 --> 00:10:05,041 [ APPLAUSE ] 213 00:10:05,041 --> 00:10:08,444 SOME PEOPLE ARE SNEAKING AROUND, DOING EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO GET 214 00:10:08,444 --> 00:10:09,979 VACCINATED, WHETHER THEY DESERVE TO BE OR NOT. 215 00:10:09,979 --> 00:10:13,249 I'VE BEEN READING ABOUT THESE VACCINE HUNTERS, PEOPLE WHO FIND 216 00:10:13,249 --> 00:10:14,917 WAYS TO GET THE VACCINES THAT WERE GOING TO BE THROWN AWAY. 217 00:10:14,917 --> 00:10:19,822 IT'S INTERESTING. ON ONE HAND, THEY'RE JUMPING 218 00:10:19,822 --> 00:10:21,791 AHEAD IN LINE. ON THE OTHER HAND, THE VACCINES 219 00:10:21,791 --> 00:10:24,761 DON'T LAST LONG, AND IF IT'S GOING TO THAW, YOU SHOULD 220 00:10:24,761 --> 00:10:27,663 PROBABLY TAKE IT, IT'S A CONUNDRUM. 221 00:10:27,663 --> 00:10:30,800 SO WE WE TRACKED DOWN A REAL VACCINE HUNTER. 222 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:34,604 WE HAVE QUESTIONS FOR YOU. STEWART McCULLOUGH, HOW ARE YOU? 223 00:10:34,604 --> 00:10:35,104 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 224 00:10:35,104 --> 00:10:38,141 >> HI, JIMMY! 225 00:10:38,141 --> 00:10:40,610 >> Jimmy: SO STUART, SO YOU'RE A YOUNG GUY, YOU DECIDED TO SEEK 226 00:10:40,610 --> 00:10:41,878 OUT THE VACCINE WHEN YOU FOUND OUT YOUR TIER WOULD BE LAST TO 227 00:10:41,878 --> 00:10:44,280 RECEIVE IT, IS THAT CORRECT? 228 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,516 >> WELL, NO, NOT EXACTLY. I FOUND I PERSONALLY WAS GOING 229 00:10:46,516 --> 00:10:48,151 TO BE THE LAST PERSON IN AMERICA TO GET IT. 230 00:10:48,151 --> 00:10:51,788 [ LAUGHTER ] 231 00:10:51,788 --> 00:10:53,589 >> Jimmy: OH. WELL, WHY? WHY IS THAT? 232 00:10:53,589 --> 00:11:01,130 >> BECAUSE I DID SOMETHING VERY, VERY BAD. 233 00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:03,432 >> Jimmy: DID YOU? CAN I ASK WHAT YOU DID? 234 00:11:03,432 --> 00:11:06,369 >> YOU KNOW THAT "BABY SHARK" SONG? 235 00:11:06,369 --> 00:11:06,702 [ LAUGHTER ] 236 00:11:06,702 --> 00:11:07,103 >> Jimmy: YES? 237 00:11:07,103 --> 00:11:09,939 >> I WROTE THAT. 238 00:11:09,939 --> 00:11:10,273 [ LAUGHTER ] 239 00:11:10,273 --> 00:11:12,008 >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY ARE IN JAIL, FOR SURE. 240 00:11:12,008 --> 00:11:12,341 [ LAUGHTER ] 241 00:11:12,341 --> 00:11:17,046 >> YEAH, I KNOW! HEY, I AGREE, YET HERE I AM, 242 00:11:17,046 --> 00:11:18,748 FOOTLOOSE AND TOTALLY COVID FREE! 243 00:11:18,748 --> 00:11:23,419 >> Jimmy: SO YOU GOT THE VACCINE. 244 00:11:23,419 --> 00:11:25,555 DID YOU HAVE ANY SIDE EFFECTS FROM THE VACCINE? 245 00:11:25,555 --> 00:11:28,758 >> FIRST ONE, SLIGHT MUSCLE PAIN. SECOND INJECTION, NOTHING. 246 00:11:28,758 --> 00:11:30,860 >> Jimmy: OKAY, THAT'S GOOD. 247 00:11:30,860 --> 00:11:32,361 >> YEAH, BUT THEN THE THIRD AND FOURTH SHOTS? OH, MAN. 248 00:11:32,361 --> 00:11:34,730 DIARRHEA CITY ‐‐ 249 00:11:34,730 --> 00:11:37,100 >> Jimmy: WAIT, THIRD AND FOURTH? 250 00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:37,433 [ LAUGHTER ] 251 00:11:37,433 --> 00:11:38,434 YOU ONLY NEED TWO SHOTS. 252 00:11:38,434 --> 00:11:39,168 >> YEAH, I KNOW. BUT I LOVE THEM! 253 00:11:39,168 --> 00:11:41,838 [ LAUGHTER ] 254 00:11:41,838 --> 00:11:44,640 >> Jimmy: IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU LOVE THEM, THAT'S NOT RIGHT. 255 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,677 HOW DO YOU EVEN GET MORE THAN ONE SET OF SHOTS? 256 00:11:47,677 --> 00:11:50,379 >> EASY, I WEAR COSTUMES. CHECK IT OUT. 257 00:11:50,379 --> 00:11:54,551 I'M A NURSE, YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE ME A SHOT, I'M A NURSE! 258 00:11:54,551 --> 00:11:54,884 [ LAUGHTER ] 259 00:11:54,884 --> 00:11:57,687 YOU KNOW, AND HEY, LOOK AT THIS, I'M A FIREMAN, YOU'RE NOT GOING 260 00:11:57,687 --> 00:12:00,757 TO GIVE A SHOT TO A FIREMAN? I'M A FIREMAN! 261 00:12:00,757 --> 00:12:01,090 [ LAUGHTER ] 262 00:12:01,090 --> 00:12:02,825 >> Jimmy: I'M FEELING LIKE YOU ARE ‐‐ 263 00:12:02,825 --> 00:12:05,795 >> A REAL PIECE OF [ BLEEP ]? 264 00:12:05,795 --> 00:12:07,530 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 265 00:12:07,530 --> 00:12:09,999 >> Jimmy: YES, YES, THAT'S KIND WHAT WAS I'M ‐‐ YEAH. 266 00:12:09,999 --> 00:12:13,603 >> SURE. YOU KNOW WHAT? "TIME" MAGAZINE SURE THOUGHT SO, 267 00:12:13,603 --> 00:12:14,904 LOOK AT THAT. 268 00:12:14,904 --> 00:12:15,238 [ LAUGHTER ] 269 00:12:15,238 --> 00:12:17,106 SEE THAT? SEE WHAT THAT SAYS? 270 00:12:17,106 --> 00:12:17,473 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 271 00:12:17,473 --> 00:12:20,142 >> I BEAT OUT THE GUY WHO INVENTED PACKING PEANUTS. 272 00:12:20,142 --> 00:12:21,077 >> Jimmy: I HATE THAT GUY. 273 00:12:21,077 --> 00:12:21,410 [ LAUGHTER ] 274 00:12:21,410 --> 00:12:23,613 >> I KNOW. I'M WORSE. 275 00:12:23,613 --> 00:12:27,016 >> Jimmy: HOW MANY DOSES OF THE VACCINE HAVE YOU HAD? 276 00:12:27,016 --> 00:12:29,318 >> WELL, INCLUDING THIS ONE RIGHT HERE? 277 00:12:29,318 --> 00:12:33,022 >> Jimmy: YES ‐‐ OH ‐‐ 278 00:12:33,022 --> 00:12:39,128 >> AAH! THAT WAS NUMBER 114! HA HA HA! 279 00:12:39,128 --> 00:12:43,366 I TAKE THEM IN THE MOUTH, I TAKE THEM UP MY NOSE, I TAKE THEM ANY 280 00:12:43,366 --> 00:12:45,368 WHICH WAY. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, I AM 281 00:12:45,368 --> 00:12:48,004 HIGHER THAN WILLIE NELSON'S PONYTAIL RIGHT NOW. 282 00:12:48,004 --> 00:12:50,473 >> Jimmy: I WOULD ASK YOU TO STOP BUT SOMETHING TELLS YOU 283 00:12:50,473 --> 00:12:52,608 THAT WOULD ENCOURAGE YOU TO CONTINUE. 284 00:12:52,608 --> 00:12:56,345 >> YOU ARE CORRECT. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, JIMMY, 285 00:12:56,345 --> 00:13:02,451 FATHER HANRAHAN HAS TO PICK UP A FREEDER FULL OF MODERNAS FOR THE 286 00:13:02,451 --> 00:13:04,120 ELDERLY NUNS AT ST. CHRIS CHRISTOPHER'S! 287 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,389 THE NUNS ARE MY CATS, HA HA HA! 288 00:13:06,389 --> 00:13:09,425 ♪ OH BABY SHARK 289 00:13:09,425 --> 00:13:11,827 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU, STEWART. 290 00:13:11,827 --> 00:13:12,194 [ APPLAUSE ] 291 00:13:12,194 --> 00:13:13,996 A VERY BAD PERSON. BUT BOY, HE CAN SING, HUH? 292 00:13:13,996 --> 00:13:20,102 BEAUTIFUL VOICE. WE'VE GOT A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU 293 00:13:20,102 --> 00:13:22,171 TONIGHT. LUCAS HEDGES ON THE SHOW. 294 00:13:22,171 --> 00:13:24,307 WE'LL HAVE MOUSSE TRICK WAXAHATCHEE. 295 00:13:24,307 --> 00:13:30,780 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH WANDA SYKES! STICK AROUND. 296 00:13:30,780 --> 00:13:31,122 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 297 00:13:35,785 --> 00:13:38,821 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW. TONIGHT, FROM THE NEW MOVIE 298 00:13:38,821 --> 00:13:40,056 "FRENCH EXIT," A VERY TALENTED YOUNG ACTOR, LUCAS HEDGES IS 299 00:13:40,056 --> 00:13:41,791 WITH US. 300 00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:42,558 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 301 00:13:42,558 --> 00:13:48,564 THEN LATER, THIS IS HER FIFTH STUDIO ALBUM TITLED, 302 00:13:48,564 --> 00:13:49,899 "SAINT CLOUD," MUSIC FROM WAXAHATCHEE. 303 00:13:49,899 --> 00:13:51,567 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 304 00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:55,838 TOMORROW NIGHT, MILA KUNIS AND KJ APP‐AH WILL JOIN US, WITH 305 00:13:55,838 --> 00:13:58,574 MUSIC FROM SAM DEW. SO PLEASE JOIN US TOO. 306 00:13:58,574 --> 00:13:58,908 [ APPLAUSE ] 307 00:13:58,908 --> 00:14:01,410 OUR FIRST GUEST IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, 308 00:14:01,410 --> 00:14:04,380 YOU CAN SEE HER BE‐WIGGED AND GUN‐TOTING IN THE NEW MOVIE 309 00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:08,484 "BREAKING NEWS IN YUBA COUNTY." IT PREMIERES DIGITALLY AND IN 310 00:14:08,484 --> 00:14:13,155 SELECT THEATERS FEBRUARY 12th, PLEASE WELCOME WANDA SYKES. 311 00:14:13,155 --> 00:14:13,656 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 312 00:14:13,656 --> 00:14:16,726 ♪ 313 00:14:16,726 --> 00:14:17,560 HI, WANDA. 314 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,662 >> HI, JIMMY, HOW YOU DOING? 315 00:14:19,662 --> 00:14:21,130 >> Jimmy: I'M GREAT. IT'S VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU. 316 00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:22,665 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO. 317 00:14:22,665 --> 00:14:25,334 >> Jimmy: HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY. DID YOU WATCH TODAY? 318 00:14:25,334 --> 00:14:30,241 >> I DIDN'T GET TO WATCH BECAUSE I WAS BUSY MAKING CRANK PHONE 319 00:14:30,241 --> 00:14:30,606 CALLS. 320 00:14:30,606 --> 00:14:33,143 >> Jimmy: OH. FOR CRANK ‐‐ YES, FOR CRANK 321 00:14:33,143 --> 00:14:33,476 YANKERS. 322 00:14:33,476 --> 00:14:35,478 >> YES, YES. 323 00:14:35,478 --> 00:14:38,647 >> Jimmy: WE THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING BUT YOU'RE NOT KIDDING. 324 00:14:38,647 --> 00:14:39,482 >> I'M NOT KIDDING. 325 00:14:39,482 --> 00:14:41,884 >> Jimmy: HOW DID IT GO, GET ANY GOOD ONES? 326 00:14:41,884 --> 00:14:45,054 >> GLADYS MURPHY WAS UP TO NO GOOD TODAY. 327 00:14:45,054 --> 00:14:46,622 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 328 00:14:46,622 --> 00:14:49,792 OH MY GOD, I CALLED A DRIVING SCHOOL COMPLAINING THAT THEY 329 00:14:49,792 --> 00:14:53,863 DON'T TEACH MY SON ROAD RAGE. 330 00:14:53,863 --> 00:14:56,065 [ LAUGHTER ] 331 00:14:56,065 --> 00:14:58,334 >> Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD. 332 00:14:58,334 --> 00:15:02,872 >> I CALLED AN ELECTRONICS STORE COMPLAINING THAT MY WEB CAM 333 00:15:02,872 --> 00:15:08,911 WOULD JUST TURN ON BY ITSELF, AND I'VE BEEN FLASHING MY BOOBS 334 00:15:08,911 --> 00:15:14,884 AND MY VAGINA TO PEOPLE ACCIDENT AMELIE. 335 00:15:14,884 --> 00:15:15,217 [ LAUGHTER ] 336 00:15:15,217 --> 00:15:17,653 HE WAS SO HELPFUL. HE ACTUALLY GOOGLED, YOU KNOW, 337 00:15:17,653 --> 00:15:21,757 HOW TO REMEDY IT. HE WAS LIKE, YOU KNOW ‐‐ HE JUST 338 00:15:21,757 --> 00:15:24,360 CAME UP AND TOLD ME, PUT A POST‐IT NOTE OVER MY CAMERA. 339 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,128 [ LAUGHTER ] 340 00:15:26,128 --> 00:15:30,466 OR A PIECE OF TAPE. HE SAYS, YOU HAVE TO COVER IT. 341 00:15:30,466 --> 00:15:34,036 AND I SAID, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO, I'M GOING TO GET A 342 00:15:34,036 --> 00:15:37,773 PICTURE OF THAT NAKED BIG BLACK DUDE WHO'S SITTING ON THE SIDE ‐‐ 343 00:15:37,773 --> 00:15:38,240 >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH. 344 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:43,579 >> PUT THAT UP THERE. 345 00:15:43,579 --> 00:15:45,481 >> Jimmy: WANDA, WILL YOU WATCH TOMORROW? 346 00:15:45,481 --> 00:15:47,750 ARE YOU INTERESTED IN THIS? BECAUSE I KNOW ‐‐ 347 00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:49,118 >> OH, ABSOLUTELY, ABSOLUTELY. 348 00:15:49,118 --> 00:15:49,585 >> Jimmy: YOU WILL. 349 00:15:49,585 --> 00:15:51,854 >> YES, YES. I WILL BE WATCHING TOMORROW. 350 00:15:51,854 --> 00:15:55,458 I JUST WANT ‐‐ I SO WANT HIM TO SHOW UP. PLEASE. 351 00:15:55,458 --> 00:15:57,726 >> Jimmy: HE MIGHT. HE MIGHT. 352 00:15:57,726 --> 00:16:02,031 AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TODAY, HE MAY APPOINT HIMSELF HIS OWN 353 00:16:02,031 --> 00:16:02,532 ATTORNEY. 354 00:16:02,532 --> 00:16:02,865 [ LAUGHTER ] 355 00:16:02,865 --> 00:16:07,303 I WOULD NOT BE SURPRISED IF HE COMES OUT IN HIS GOLF SHORTS OR 356 00:16:07,303 --> 00:16:07,937 SOMETHING LIKE THAT TOMORROW. 357 00:16:07,937 --> 00:16:09,839 >> I JUST NEED TO GET EYES ON HIM. 358 00:16:09,839 --> 00:16:13,242 I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE'S UP TO. 359 00:16:13,242 --> 00:16:13,742 >> Jimmy: I DO TOO. 360 00:16:13,742 --> 00:16:16,278 >> I'M WORRIED, HE'S BEEN TOO QUIET, YOU KNOW. 361 00:16:16,278 --> 00:16:16,679 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 362 00:16:16,679 --> 00:16:22,785 >> I'M WONDERING, LIKE, IS HE SOMEWHERE, LIKE, HAVING PLASTIC 363 00:16:22,785 --> 00:16:24,553 SURGERY? GETTING HIS FACE REDONE? TRYING TO CHANGE HIS IDENTITY? 364 00:16:24,553 --> 00:16:27,456 [ LAUGHTER ] 365 00:16:27,456 --> 00:16:31,060 YOU KNOW, THEN COME BACK AND START SOME MORE STUFF, YOU KNOW? 366 00:16:31,060 --> 00:16:32,328 I'M JUST WORRIED, YOU KNOW. 367 00:16:32,328 --> 00:16:34,797 >> Jimmy: WHAT KIND OF FACE ARE YOU WORRIED HE MIGHT GET? 368 00:16:34,797 --> 00:16:38,334 >> THIS IS TRUMP, MAN, YOU DIDN'T KNOW. 369 00:16:38,334 --> 00:16:41,904 HE'LL PROBABLY DO SOMETHING LIKE A MIX OF TOM BRADY AND TED 370 00:16:41,904 --> 00:16:42,404 NUGENT, YOU DON'T KNOW. 371 00:16:42,404 --> 00:16:44,807 [ LAUGHTER ] 372 00:16:44,807 --> 00:16:51,013 >> Jimmy: I THINK HE JUST DESCRIBED IVANKA, ACTUALLY. 373 00:16:51,013 --> 00:16:53,382 >> THEN AGAIN, YOU KNOW HE'S GOING TO SCREW THAT UP TOO. 374 00:16:53,382 --> 00:16:56,719 BECAUSE HE'S NOT GOING TO, LIKE, WORK THE REST OF HIS BODY. 375 00:16:56,719 --> 00:16:59,021 HE DOESN'T HAVE THAT KIND OF DISCIPLINE. 376 00:16:59,021 --> 00:16:59,922 >> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT. 377 00:16:59,922 --> 00:17:01,724 >> NEW FACE, SAME HAIR, SAME BIG ASS. 378 00:17:01,724 --> 00:17:05,628 [ LAUGHTER ] 379 00:17:05,628 --> 00:17:05,961 [ APPLAUSE ] 380 00:17:05,961 --> 00:17:08,731 >> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF DONALD TRUMP'S FACE, YOU HAVE SAID ‐‐ 381 00:17:08,731 --> 00:17:12,434 YOU MADE A VERY INTERESTING OBSERVATION, I THINK, THAT 382 00:17:12,434 --> 00:17:16,940 UNLIKE MOST PRESIDENTS, HE DIDN'T REALLY AGE THAT MUCH IN 383 00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:17,273 OFFICE. 384 00:17:17,273 --> 00:17:22,611 >> NO. NOT AT ALL. I MEAN, USUALLY PRESIDENTS, THEY 385 00:17:22,611 --> 00:17:26,081 AGE, RIGHT? BECAUSE OF THE STRESS OF THE JOB. 386 00:17:26,081 --> 00:17:31,353 I MEAN, OBAMA WENT GRAY. 387 00:17:31,353 --> 00:17:36,325 CLINTON GREW THAT BULB ON THE TIP OF HIS NOSE. 388 00:17:36,325 --> 00:17:37,226 [ LAUGHTER ] 389 00:17:37,226 --> 00:17:42,631 GEORGE W. SHRUNK LIKE 3 INCHES. I MEAN, IT'S A HARD JOB IF YOU 390 00:17:42,631 --> 00:17:45,534 DO IT, YOU KNOW? IF YOU ACTUALLY SHOW UP FOR 391 00:17:45,534 --> 00:17:49,405 WORK, IT'S A STRESSFUL JOB. NOT TRUMP. HE LOOKS THE SAME. 392 00:17:49,405 --> 00:17:51,340 BUT GOOD LORD, HE PUT A BEATING ON US, MAN. 393 00:17:51,340 --> 00:17:53,976 [ LAUGHTER ] 394 00:17:53,976 --> 00:17:57,613 WE ALL LOOK OLDER. 395 00:17:57,613 --> 00:17:59,715 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. 396 00:17:59,715 --> 00:18:03,185 HOW ARE YOUR PARENTS DOING? 397 00:18:03,185 --> 00:18:07,657 >> STATUE OF LIBERTY GOT CROW'S FEET, IT'S RIDICULOUS. 398 00:18:07,657 --> 00:18:07,990 [ LAUGHTER ] 399 00:18:07,990 --> 00:18:11,193 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU GUYS BEING CAREFUL? HAVE YOUR PARENTS BEEN 400 00:18:11,193 --> 00:18:11,527 VACCINATED? 401 00:18:11,527 --> 00:18:14,797 >> MY ‐‐ ACTUALLY, YES. MY DAD GOT HIS FIRST SHOT 402 00:18:14,797 --> 00:18:16,732 YESTERDAY. MY MOM GOT HER FIRST SHOT LIKE A 403 00:18:16,732 --> 00:18:18,367 COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. 404 00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:18,901 >> Jimmy: OH. 405 00:18:18,901 --> 00:18:21,270 >> THANK GOD, YEAH. THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY. 406 00:18:21,270 --> 00:18:23,839 >> Jimmy: GOOD. DID YOU HAVE TO FORCE THEM TO DO 407 00:18:23,839 --> 00:18:25,708 IT, OR WERE THEY WILLING AND READY TO GO? 408 00:18:25,708 --> 00:18:27,676 >> NO, THEY WERE READY TO GO, MAN. 409 00:18:27,676 --> 00:18:29,211 MY MOM, SHE CAN'T WAIT TO GET TO THAT CASINO. 410 00:18:29,211 --> 00:18:33,449 [ LAUGHTER ] 411 00:18:33,449 --> 00:18:35,951 >> Jimmy: WHAT DOES YOUR MOM PLAY AT THE CASINO? 412 00:18:35,951 --> 00:18:37,052 WHAT'S HER GAME? 413 00:18:37,052 --> 00:18:37,987 >> THE SLOTS. 414 00:18:37,987 --> 00:18:39,421 >> Jimmy: THE SLOTS, YEAH. 415 00:18:39,421 --> 00:18:41,423 >> YOU KNOW, SHE'S GOING TO BE MAD AT ME NOW. 416 00:18:41,423 --> 00:18:45,127 SHE'S LIKE, YOU KNOW MY CHURCH FOLKS BE WATCHING JIMMY KIMMEL, 417 00:18:45,127 --> 00:18:49,732 DON'T BE TELLING THEM ABOUT IT! I PLAY THE SLOTS? 418 00:18:49,732 --> 00:18:55,004 >> THE THEN THEY ARE SENDING TWO. YOUR DAD IS A RETIRED ARMY 419 00:18:55,004 --> 00:18:59,408 COLONEL, SO HE HAD TO WAIT, HUH? THERE WAS NO SPECIAL ‐‐ YOU'D 420 00:18:59,408 --> 00:19:03,314 THINK THAT AN ARMY COLONEL WOULD BE NEAR TO THE FRONT OF THE 421 00:19:03,314 --> 00:19:03,679 LINE. 422 00:19:03,679 --> 00:19:05,347 >> WHY? IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S GOING BACK 423 00:19:05,347 --> 00:19:05,848 OUT ON THE FRONT LINES. 424 00:19:05,848 --> 00:19:08,017 [ LAUGHTER ] 425 00:19:08,017 --> 00:19:11,887 THE MAN IS OLDER THAN DIRT, COME ON. 426 00:19:11,887 --> 00:19:13,989 >> Jimmy: YEAH WANDA, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND. 427 00:19:13,989 --> 00:19:16,825 JUST TO GET A LITTLE BACKGROUND ON YOU, NOT THAT WE DON'T HAVE 428 00:19:16,825 --> 00:19:21,463 IT, BUT WE REACHED OUT TO YOUR ALMA MATER, HAMPTON ‐‐ 429 00:19:21,463 --> 00:19:23,999 >> HAMPTON UNIVERSITY. HAMPTON UNIVERSITY, THAT'S RIGHT. 430 00:19:23,999 --> 00:19:28,137 >> Jimmy: THEY SENT US A PHOTO FROM A YEARBOOK, I BELIEVE, AND 431 00:19:28,137 --> 00:19:28,470 THERE YOU ARE. 432 00:19:28,470 --> 00:19:35,811 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 433 00:19:35,811 --> 00:19:36,145 MARKETING MAJOR? 434 00:19:36,145 --> 00:19:36,478 >> YEP. 435 00:19:36,478 --> 00:19:40,516 >> Jimmy: DID THAT COME IN HANDY AT ALL, THE MARKETING MAJOR? 436 00:19:40,516 --> 00:19:46,822 >> I'M SELLING THAT ASS RIGHT NOW, LOOK AT ME. 437 00:19:46,822 --> 00:19:47,690 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 438 00:19:47,690 --> 00:19:50,926 >> Jimmy: I GUESS THAT IS ONE WAY OF LOOKING AT IT. 439 00:19:50,926 --> 00:19:54,330 YOU WERE WORKING THE SUMMER, I KNOW THAT, AND I WONDER ABOUT 440 00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:56,031 THIS. YOUR WIFE ALEX AND YOUR KIDS 441 00:19:56,031 --> 00:19:57,700 WENT TO PARIS WHILE YOU WERE WORKING, CORRECT? 442 00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:59,201 >> UH‐HUH, RIGHT. 443 00:19:59,201 --> 00:20:01,704 >> Jimmy: YEAH. AND DID THAT ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW, 444 00:20:01,704 --> 00:20:05,774 THAT WOULD ANNOY ME TO NO END, I THINK. 445 00:20:05,774 --> 00:20:06,408 >> WHY? 446 00:20:06,408 --> 00:20:10,012 >> Jimmy: BECAUSE THEY'RE IN PARIS AND I'M WORKING. 447 00:20:10,012 --> 00:20:11,480 >> SOMEBODY'S GOT TO PAY FOR THEM TO GO TO PARIS. 448 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,950 [ LAUGHTER ] 449 00:20:14,950 --> 00:20:15,551 THAT'S NOT FREE. 450 00:20:15,551 --> 00:20:19,054 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE A BETTER PERSON THAN I AM. 451 00:20:19,054 --> 00:20:22,458 >> ALSO, IT'S NICE TO, YOU KNOW, TO MISS EACH OTHER. 452 00:20:22,458 --> 00:20:23,025 >> Jimmy: I SEE. 453 00:20:23,025 --> 00:20:23,926 >> IT'S NICE. 454 00:20:23,926 --> 00:20:24,593 >> Jimmy: I SEE. 455 00:20:24,593 --> 00:20:26,695 >> GO AWAY FOR A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW. 456 00:20:26,695 --> 00:20:29,565 >> Jimmy: I GOTCHA, YEAH. A LITTLE SPACE IS GOOD. 457 00:20:29,565 --> 00:20:32,601 I WAS SPEAKING TO ALLISON JANNEY, WHO SAID SHE ‐‐ FIRST OF 458 00:20:32,601 --> 00:20:37,773 ALL, MAKING THIS MOVIE OVER THE SUMMER IN MISSISSIPPI YOU MADE 459 00:20:37,773 --> 00:20:38,107 THIS MOVIE? 460 00:20:38,107 --> 00:20:41,377 >> NATCHEZ, MISSISSIPPI, YES. 461 00:20:41,377 --> 00:20:44,246 >> Jimmy: WAS FIRST OF ALL A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF FUN, AND 462 00:20:44,246 --> 00:20:49,017 SHE ATTRIBUTED A LOT OF THAT FUN TO YOU. DID YOU HAVE FUN THERE? 463 00:20:49,017 --> 00:20:53,389 >> I HAD A BLAST, I'M TELLING YOU, IT WAS THE MOST FUN I'VE 464 00:20:53,389 --> 00:20:55,691 EVER HAD ON A PROJECT. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. 465 00:20:55,691 --> 00:20:59,161 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. WHY WAS IT SO MUCH FUN? 466 00:20:59,161 --> 00:21:03,499 >> IT WAS LIKE CAMP. I MEAN, WE ALL, YOU KNOW ‐‐ WE 467 00:21:03,499 --> 00:21:06,635 STAYED ON ‐‐ TATE, THE DIRECTOR, WE STAYED AT HIS HOUSE, ON HIS 468 00:21:06,635 --> 00:21:09,671 PROPERTY. OH MY GOD, WE HAD SO MUCH FUN. 469 00:21:09,671 --> 00:21:13,742 LIKE AFTER WORK ‐‐ YOU KNOW, WE WORKED HARD, WE DID OUR 12, 470 00:21:13,742 --> 00:21:16,178 14‐HOUR DAYS. COME BACK TO TATE'S HOUSE AND IT 471 00:21:16,178 --> 00:21:22,017 WAS LIKE, MARTINIS, YOU KNOW, HIS COOKING, GOOD FOOD. 472 00:21:22,017 --> 00:21:25,421 JUST DANCING, MUSIC. YOU KNOW, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. 473 00:21:25,421 --> 00:21:29,124 SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW, IN OUR BUSINESS, THEY CALLED IT THE 474 00:21:29,124 --> 00:21:31,760 SHOT, THE LAST SHOT, THE MARTINI, RIGHT? 475 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:32,261 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 476 00:21:32,261 --> 00:21:36,232 >> THEY SOMETIMES BROUGHT ME THE ACTUAL MARTINI. 477 00:21:36,232 --> 00:21:36,565 [ LAUGHTER ] 478 00:21:36,565 --> 00:21:39,668 IT WAS AMAZING. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? 479 00:21:39,668 --> 00:21:44,072 COME TO THINK OF IT, I DON'T THINK I'VE BEEN PAID! 480 00:21:44,072 --> 00:21:45,841 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 481 00:21:45,841 --> 00:21:46,375 >> Jimmy: IS THAT TRUE? 482 00:21:46,375 --> 00:21:47,810 >> I'VE GOT TO CALL SOMEBODY. 483 00:21:47,810 --> 00:21:49,778 >> Jimmy: YEAH. IF ONLY YOU HAD A MARKETING 484 00:21:49,778 --> 00:21:52,047 MAJOR, YOU WOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO PROMOTE SOMETHING THAT 485 00:21:52,047 --> 00:21:55,451 YOU HADN'T BEEN PAID FOR. ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A 486 00:21:55,451 --> 00:21:58,153 BREAK. WE'LL COME BACK, SEE A CLIP FROM 487 00:21:58,153 --> 00:22:01,590 "BREAKING NEWS IN YUBA COUNTY." WANDA SYKES IS WITH US! 488 00:22:01,590 --> 00:22:01,979 BE RIGHT BACK. 489 00:22:08,130 --> 00:22:10,199 >>> THEY TOLD ME TO COME ALONE. 490 00:22:10,199 --> 00:22:13,435 >> EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PRETEND TO COME 491 00:22:13,435 --> 00:22:17,606 ALONE BUT WAIT FOR BACKUP NEARBY IN CASE SOMETHING GOES DOWN. 492 00:22:17,606 --> 00:22:19,975 >> NO, YOU'RE NOT COMING, THIS IS NOT A GAME. 493 00:22:19,975 --> 00:22:20,375 >> FINE. 494 00:22:20,375 --> 00:22:21,376 >> YOU'RE NOT COMING. 495 00:22:21,376 --> 00:22:22,644 >> WELL. AT LEAST TAKE MY GUN. 496 00:22:22,644 --> 00:22:28,217 >> NO, I'M NOT TAKING A GUN. 497 00:22:28,217 --> 00:22:31,987 >> YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO A RANSOM DROP WITH NO BACKUP AND 498 00:22:31,987 --> 00:22:32,821 NO GUN? 499 00:22:32,821 --> 00:22:33,455 >> YEAH. 500 00:22:33,455 --> 00:22:36,725 >> WHAT A DUMBASS. 501 00:22:36,725 --> 00:22:37,226 [ APPLAUSE ] 502 00:22:37,226 --> 00:22:39,928 >> Jimmy: "BREAKING NEWS IN YUBA COUNTY." 503 00:22:39,928 --> 00:22:42,331 THINKING ABOUT THAT, THOSE LINES ON PAPER WOULDN'T BE FUNNY. 504 00:22:42,331 --> 00:22:45,501 BUT WHEN YOU SAY IT, IT'S FUNNY. IT IS. 505 00:22:45,501 --> 00:22:48,971 AND IN FACT, YOU WON ‐‐ YOU DIDN'T WIN, YOU GOT NOMINATED 506 00:22:48,971 --> 00:22:51,807 FOR AN EMMY FOR "CRANK YANKERS." 507 00:22:51,807 --> 00:22:52,674 >> YES. 508 00:22:52,674 --> 00:22:53,175 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 509 00:22:53,175 --> 00:22:56,912 >> Jimmy: THE SHOW'S BEEN ON A VERY LONG TYPE, NO ONE AS EVER 510 00:22:56,912 --> 00:22:59,047 GOTTEN NOMINATED FOR AN EMMY ON THAT SHOW. 511 00:22:59,047 --> 00:23:00,816 >> REALLY, IT'S RIDICULOUS. 512 00:23:00,816 --> 00:23:04,786 >> Jimmy: IT IS, IT'S RIDICULOUS, AND YET WELL 513 00:23:04,786 --> 00:23:07,322 DESERVED. THE CATEGORY WAS VOICE‐OVER, AND 514 00:23:07,322 --> 00:23:11,226 YOU WEREN'T DOING VOICE‐OVER, YOU WERE ‐‐ YOU'RE SPONTANEOUSLY 515 00:23:11,226 --> 00:23:13,629 BEING FUNNY. SO I HOPE THEY DON'T FIND OUT 516 00:23:13,629 --> 00:23:16,732 ABOUT THAT, NOT NOMINATE YOU AGAIN NEXT TIME. 517 00:23:16,732 --> 00:23:17,065 [ LAUGHTER ] 518 00:23:17,065 --> 00:23:20,802 >> SHH! I PUT SOME STANK ON IT TODAY. 519 00:23:20,802 --> 00:23:24,039 >> Jimmy: MILA KUNIS IS WITH US TOMORROW. SHE IS IN THIS MOVIE. 520 00:23:24,039 --> 00:23:26,475 DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE TO REVEAL ABOUT HER THAT I COULD 521 00:23:26,475 --> 00:23:31,480 PASS ALONG? OR PERHAPS EMBARRASS HER WITH? 522 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,149 >> MILA WAS SO MUCH FUN, WE HAD A GREAT TIME. 523 00:23:34,149 --> 00:23:38,887 ONLY THING ABOUT MILA, SHE WOULDN'T WEAR A WIG, SHE DIDN'T 524 00:23:38,887 --> 00:23:39,922 WEAR A WIG IN THE MOVIE. 525 00:23:39,922 --> 00:23:42,958 >> Jimmy: REALLY, SHE REFUSED TO WEAR A WIG? 526 00:23:42,958 --> 00:23:48,964 >> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT REFUSED. BUT WE ALL HAD THE WORST WIGS. 527 00:23:48,964 --> 00:23:49,631 [ LAUGHTER ] 528 00:23:49,631 --> 00:23:55,270 YEAH. GINA HALL CALLED IT "BREAKING 529 00:23:55,270 --> 00:23:57,106 WIGS IN YUBA COUNTY." 530 00:23:57,106 --> 00:23:57,439 [ LAUGHTER ] 531 00:23:57,439 --> 00:24:00,142 >> Jimmy: FIRST OF ALL DID YOU KEEP THE WIG OR IS THAT 532 00:24:00,142 --> 00:24:01,643 SOMETHING YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE AGAIN? 533 00:24:01,643 --> 00:24:04,446 >> I THINK WE BURIED THE WIGS, YEAH, I THINK SO, YEAH. 534 00:24:04,446 --> 00:24:07,549 >> Jimmy: IN THE SUMMER IN MISSISSIPPI, THAT IS ESPECIALLY 535 00:24:07,549 --> 00:24:09,484 UNCOMFORTABLE? BECAUSE I WOULD IMAGINE THAT 536 00:24:09,484 --> 00:24:14,289 THERE ARE BUGS AND HUMIDITY AND ALL KINDS OF UNPLEASANTNESS. 537 00:24:14,289 --> 00:24:18,594 >> OH MY GOD. THE BUGS WERE RIDICULOUS. 538 00:24:18,594 --> 00:24:21,863 I MEAN ‐‐ I MEAN, THEY WERE JUST HUGE BUGS. 539 00:24:21,863 --> 00:24:25,734 THE WHOLE THING FOR ME WAS, I WANTED TO GET BACK TO MY ROOM 540 00:24:25,734 --> 00:24:30,272 BEFORE IT GOT DARK, YOU KNOW. BECAUSE OF THE BUGS. 541 00:24:30,272 --> 00:24:33,575 IT WAS LIKE GOING IN A BAD NEIGHBORHOOD, THAT'S HOW BIG THE 542 00:24:33,575 --> 00:24:33,976 BUGS WERE. 543 00:24:33,976 --> 00:24:34,309 [ LAUGHTER ] 544 00:24:34,309 --> 00:24:38,783 YOU FELT LIKE, I GOT TO GET HOME BEFORE THESE BUGS JUMP ME, YOU 545 00:24:38,783 --> 00:24:39,148 KNOW? 546 00:24:39,148 --> 00:24:39,481 [ LAUGHTER ] 547 00:24:39,481 --> 00:24:41,750 >> Jimmy: WANDA, I WAS WONDERING. 548 00:24:41,750 --> 00:24:43,986 PEOPLE BRING YOUR NAME UP A LOT WITH THIS MARVEL SHOW 549 00:24:43,986 --> 00:24:49,526 "WANDAVISION." DO PEOPLE BRING THAT UP TO YOU 550 00:24:49,526 --> 00:24:49,891 REGULARLY? 551 00:24:49,891 --> 00:24:53,028 >> YEAH, THEY'RE LIKE, WHEN YOU GOING TO POP UP? 552 00:24:53,028 --> 00:24:56,665 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO POP UP? 553 00:24:56,665 --> 00:24:59,534 >> THAT'S THE QUESTION I WANT ANSWERED, WHEN AM I GOING TO POP 554 00:24:59,534 --> 00:25:01,370 UP? I WANT TO BE IN A MARVEL SHOW. 555 00:25:01,370 --> 00:25:02,137 >> Jimmy: YOU DO? 556 00:25:02,137 --> 00:25:02,704 >> YES. 557 00:25:02,704 --> 00:25:04,973 >> Jimmy: ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR YOU HAVE YOUR SIGHTS ON? 558 00:25:04,973 --> 00:25:09,411 IS THERE A CHARACTER OR A SPOT OR A MOVIE FRANCHISE, ANY OF 559 00:25:09,411 --> 00:25:10,145 THEM, WHAT? 560 00:25:10,145 --> 00:25:14,383 >> I MEAN, COME ON. "BLACK PANTHER" SEEMS A LITTLE 561 00:25:14,383 --> 00:25:15,117 TOO OBVIOUS. 562 00:25:15,117 --> 00:25:15,617 [ LAUGHTER ] 563 00:25:15,617 --> 00:25:19,388 I THINK I WOULD FIT THERE. YOU KNOW, I JUST WANT MY 564 00:25:19,388 --> 00:25:22,157 CHARACTER TO WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES. 565 00:25:22,157 --> 00:25:22,491 [ LAUGHTER ] 566 00:25:22,491 --> 00:25:27,763 THAT'S THE ONLY THING I NEED. AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO FLY, 567 00:25:27,763 --> 00:25:30,499 FLY. I JUST ‐‐ A LITTLE BIT OFF THE 568 00:25:30,499 --> 00:25:34,336 GROUND. JUST LET ME HOVER. YOU KNOW. THAT'S ALL. ALL I NEED. 569 00:25:34,336 --> 00:25:38,674 >> Jimmy: YEAH. THE HOVER‐LOAFER TYPE OF 570 00:25:38,674 --> 00:25:41,109 CHARACTER WOULD BE GREAT FOR YOU. THANKS, BY THE WAY. 571 00:25:41,109 --> 00:25:46,081 I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT BASKET YOU SENT. 572 00:25:46,081 --> 00:25:47,083 >> OH, IT WAS MY PLEASURE. IT'S A BLACK HISTORY MONTH 573 00:25:47,083 --> 00:25:47,416 BASKET. 574 00:25:47,416 --> 00:25:50,786 >> Jimmy: OH. OH, THAT'S GREAT. 575 00:25:50,786 --> 00:25:53,588 BUT I WAS GOING TO ‐‐ IT CAME EMPTY. 576 00:25:53,588 --> 00:25:56,158 THERE'S LIKE SOME PAPER IN HERE BUT THERE ARE NO GIFTS IN THE 577 00:25:56,158 --> 00:25:56,925 BASKET. 578 00:25:56,925 --> 00:26:02,831 >> WELL ‐‐ YEAH. AM I SUPPOSED TO GET YOU GIFTS 579 00:26:02,831 --> 00:26:03,331 FOR BLACK HISTORY MONTH? 580 00:26:03,331 --> 00:26:05,801 [ LAUGHTER ] 581 00:26:05,801 --> 00:26:08,603 >> Jimmy: WELL, NO, OF COURSE NOT. I JUST ‐‐ I JUST DON'T 582 00:26:08,603 --> 00:26:12,007 UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE, YOU KNOW, THIS 583 00:26:12,007 --> 00:26:12,674 EMPTY ONE. 584 00:26:12,674 --> 00:26:15,310 >> WELL ‐‐ I SENT YOU THE BASKET. 585 00:26:15,310 --> 00:26:16,812 YOU PUT GIFTS IN IT AND SEND IT BACK TO ME. 586 00:26:16,812 --> 00:26:18,747 [ LAUGHTER ] 587 00:26:18,747 --> 00:26:22,317 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 588 00:26:22,317 --> 00:26:26,489 >> Jimmy: SEND YOU THE BASKET? I FILL THIS BASKET WITH GIFTS 589 00:26:26,489 --> 00:26:26,822 FOR YOU? 590 00:26:26,822 --> 00:26:29,024 >> WELL ‐‐ NO ONE EVER SENT YOU ONE BEFORE? 591 00:26:29,024 --> 00:26:31,359 >> Jimmy: AN EMPTY BASKET? NO, I'VE NEVER RECEIVED ONE 592 00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:33,328 BEFORE. 593 00:26:33,328 --> 00:26:36,898 >> IT'S A BLACK HISTORY MONTH BASKET. 594 00:26:36,898 --> 00:26:37,999 THAT MEANS YOU GIVE ME YOUR 595 00:26:37,999 --> 00:26:38,800 [ BLEEP ]. 596 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,836 [ LAUGHTER ] 597 00:26:40,836 --> 00:26:43,372 >> Jimmy: OKAY, OH, ALL RIGHT. NOW I UNDERSTAND. 598 00:26:43,372 --> 00:26:43,705 [ APPLAUSE ] 599 00:26:43,705 --> 00:26:46,174 IT'S NOT SOMETHING I WAS FAMILIAR ‐‐ ARE THERE CERTAIN 600 00:26:46,174 --> 00:26:49,311 TYPES OF [ BLEEP ] I'M SUPPOSED TO PUT IN HERE? 601 00:26:49,311 --> 00:26:49,644 [ LAUGHTER ] 602 00:26:49,644 --> 00:26:53,982 >> NO, NO, ANYTHING, ANYTHING. JUST AS LONG AS IT'S EXPENSIVE. 603 00:26:53,982 --> 00:26:54,316 [ LAUGHTER ] 604 00:26:54,316 --> 00:26:56,852 >> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT, OKAY. 605 00:26:56,852 --> 00:26:58,353 >> THAT TIE LOOKS NICE. 606 00:26:58,353 --> 00:27:00,423 >> Jimmy: OH. YOU WANT ME TO PUT THE TIE IN 607 00:27:00,423 --> 00:27:00,756 THERE? 608 00:27:00,756 --> 00:27:03,058 >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. THROW THAT IN. 609 00:27:03,058 --> 00:27:06,094 >> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT. I'LL THROW IT IN AFTER BECAUSE 610 00:27:06,094 --> 00:27:08,897 MY MIC'S IN IT. AND I'M DOING THE SHOW. 611 00:27:08,897 --> 00:27:10,031 I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. 612 00:27:10,031 --> 00:27:11,800 >> WHAT ELSE YOU GOT OVER THERE? 613 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,135 >> Jimmy: NOT REALLY ANYTHING BECAUSE I'M ‐‐ 614 00:27:13,135 --> 00:27:15,237 >> WHAT ABOUT YOUR PHONE? YOU GOT YOUR PHONE ON YOU? 615 00:27:15,237 --> 00:27:17,038 >> Jimmy: I DO HAVE ‐‐ YES, YOU ‐‐ 616 00:27:17,038 --> 00:27:18,039 >> WHAT KIND IS IT? 617 00:27:18,039 --> 00:27:20,108 >> Jimmy: IT'S AN iPHONE. 618 00:27:20,108 --> 00:27:20,609 >> 11? 619 00:27:20,609 --> 00:27:21,443 >> Jimmy: NO, 12, ACTUALLY. 620 00:27:21,443 --> 00:27:23,111 >> OH, OH ‐‐ THROW THAT IN. 621 00:27:23,111 --> 00:27:28,150 [ LAUGHTER ] 622 00:27:28,150 --> 00:27:30,285 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. WE'LL SEND THAT. 623 00:27:30,285 --> 00:27:32,888 YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOUR COUSIN MY PHONE? 624 00:27:32,888 --> 00:27:36,191 >> HELL YEAH. I WANT YOU TO GIVE MY COUSIN 625 00:27:36,191 --> 00:27:39,027 YOUR PHONE. I GOT TO SAY, JIMMY, YOU'RE 626 00:27:39,027 --> 00:27:41,130 ACTING LIKE A TOTAL WHITE PERSON RIGHT NOW. 627 00:27:41,130 --> 00:27:41,463 [ LAUGHTER ] 628 00:27:41,463 --> 00:27:44,933 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M VERY SORRY. 629 00:27:44,933 --> 00:27:47,369 >> YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU MY PHONE? 630 00:27:47,369 --> 00:27:48,703 >> Jimmy: YOU COULDN'T BE MORE SPOT ON. 631 00:27:48,703 --> 00:27:50,539 I APPRECIATE IT, WANDA, THANK YOU. 632 00:27:50,539 --> 00:27:51,840 IT'S ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO SEE YOU. 633 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:56,044 THE MOVIE IS CALLED "BREAKING NEWS IN YUBA COUNTY." 634 00:27:56,044 --> 00:27:59,548 IT PREMIERES ON DIGITAL AND IN SELECT THEATERS FEBRUARY 12th. 635 00:27:59,548 --> 00:28:02,751 THE GREAT WANDA SYKES, EVERYBODY! 636 00:28:02,751 --> 00:28:03,824 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 637 00:28:03,824 --> 00:28:04,347 WE'LL BE BACK WITH LUCAS HEDGES. 638 00:28:04,347 --> 00:28:07,569 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 639 00:28:13,612 --> 00:28:14,646 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW. 640 00:28:14,646 --> 00:28:17,115 MUSIC FROM WAXAHATCHEE IS ON THE WAY. 641 00:28:17,115 --> 00:28:19,651 OUR NEXT GUEST IS A FINE ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM MOVIES LIKE 642 00:28:19,651 --> 00:28:21,820 "MANCHESTER BY THE SEA" AND "LADY BIRD" AMONG OTHERS, NEXT 643 00:28:21,820 --> 00:28:24,623 HE STARS ALONGSIDE A CAT AND A CATWOMAN IN THE NEW MOVIE 644 00:28:24,623 --> 00:28:29,962 "FRENCH EXIT," IT OPENS IN THEATERS IN NEW YORK AND L. A. 645 00:28:29,962 --> 00:28:36,768 FRIDAY AND NATIONWIDE APRIL 2nd. SAY HELLO TO LUCAS HEDGES! 646 00:28:36,768 --> 00:28:37,102 >> HEY! 647 00:28:37,102 --> 00:28:42,174 >> Jimmy: HEY, LUCAS, GOOD TO SEE YOU. 648 00:28:42,174 --> 00:28:43,342 >> CAN YOU HEAR ME? 649 00:28:43,342 --> 00:28:44,610 >> Jimmy: I CAN NOW, WHERE ARE YOU? 650 00:28:44,610 --> 00:28:48,780 >> I'M HAPPY TO HEAR THAT. I'M IN BROOKLYN, I'M AT MY 651 00:28:48,780 --> 00:28:49,715 PARENTS' PLACE. 652 00:28:49,715 --> 00:28:52,050 >> Jimmy: IN BROOKLYN. HAVE YOU BEEN STAYING WITH YOUR 653 00:28:52,050 --> 00:28:53,051 PARENTS THROUGH THIS WHOLE THING? 654 00:28:53,051 --> 00:28:55,921 >> ON AND OFF A BIT. I WAS WITH THEM FOR A LITTLE BIT 655 00:28:55,921 --> 00:29:00,125 THIS SUMMER, THEN I'VE NOW COME BACK. IT'S BEEN GOOD. 656 00:29:00,125 --> 00:29:00,759 >> Jimmy: HAS IT? 657 00:29:00,759 --> 00:29:04,029 >> THEY'RE VISITING FOR THE WEEK. OR THEY'RE BACK HERE. 658 00:29:04,029 --> 00:29:06,832 THEY'VE BEEN IN MONTAUK, USUALLY. 659 00:29:06,832 --> 00:29:08,668 >> Jimmy: I GOTCHA, THEY'RE NOT THERE ALL THE TIME. 660 00:29:08,668 --> 00:29:09,001 >> NO. 661 00:29:09,001 --> 00:29:11,169 >> Jimmy: THAT IS STRANGE WHEN YOU COME BACK AS AN ADULT TO 662 00:29:11,169 --> 00:29:13,805 LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS. DID THEY LEAVE YOUR ROOM EXACTLY 663 00:29:13,805 --> 00:29:14,606 AS IT WAS? 664 00:29:14,606 --> 00:29:17,042 >> IT'S ACTUALLY NOT THE HOUSE I GREW UP IN. 665 00:29:17,042 --> 00:29:18,410 THEY HAVE MOVED ON SINCE THEN. 666 00:29:18,410 --> 00:29:21,913 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT GOING BACK TO THAT OLD HOUSE TO 667 00:29:21,913 --> 00:29:22,848 SEE IF THOSE PEOPLE WILL LET YOU STAY THERE? 668 00:29:22,848 --> 00:29:23,749 [ LAUGHTER ] 669 00:29:23,749 --> 00:29:29,221 >> HONESTLY ‐‐ A VERY GENUINE 670 00:29:29,221 --> 00:29:32,991 ANSWER BUT I FEEL EXTREMELY NOSTALGIC ABOUT THAT PLACE AND 671 00:29:32,991 --> 00:29:35,427 WALK PAST IT WITH VERY LONGING EYES FROM TIME TO TIME. 672 00:29:35,427 --> 00:29:37,596 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT IS A FUNNY THING, ISN'T IT? 673 00:29:37,596 --> 00:29:38,230 >> YEAH. 674 00:29:38,230 --> 00:29:40,932 >> Jimmy: I'VE DONE THAT A FEW TIMES MYSELF. IT'S WEIRD. 675 00:29:40,932 --> 00:29:45,470 SOMETIMES, YEAH, YOU FEEL SAD. THERE'S A FEELING OF 676 00:29:45,470 --> 00:29:45,804 MELANCHOLY ‐‐ 677 00:29:45,804 --> 00:29:46,972 >> YOU'VE DONE THAT TOO? 678 00:29:46,972 --> 00:29:49,374 >> Jimmy: A COUPLE OF TIMES. 679 00:29:49,374 --> 00:29:53,145 >> REALLY? OTHER TIMES I'VE THOUGHT, OH MY 680 00:29:53,145 --> 00:29:54,279 GOD, GET ME OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE. 681 00:29:54,279 --> 00:29:55,714 >> YEAH, GOOD, I'M NOT ALONE. 682 00:29:55,714 --> 00:29:58,984 >> Jimmy: I VISITED MY CHILDHOOD HOME IN LAS VEGAS A FEW YEARS 683 00:29:58,984 --> 00:30:01,586 AGO. AND IT HAD TURNED ‐‐ IT HAD TAKEN A REAL TURN. 684 00:30:01,586 --> 00:30:01,920 [ LAUGHTER ] 685 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,222 >> IT HAD TAKEN A TURN FOR THE WORST. 686 00:30:04,222 --> 00:30:05,657 >> Jimmy: OH, YES. OH, YES. 687 00:30:05,657 --> 00:30:08,493 >> OH MY GOD, DUDE, I CAN'T IMAGINE. 688 00:30:08,493 --> 00:30:11,797 >> Jimmy: THERE WERE A LOT OF BONGS AROUND, LET'S JUST PUT 689 00:30:11,797 --> 00:30:12,531 THAT IT WAY. 690 00:30:12,531 --> 00:30:12,864 [ LAUGHTER ] 691 00:30:12,864 --> 00:30:16,101 WHICH WE DIDN'T HAVE, WE HAD MACRAME, YEAH. 692 00:30:16,101 --> 00:30:18,236 >> OKAY, OKAY. 693 00:30:18,236 --> 00:30:20,505 >> Jimmy: I KNOW IT'S SNOWING. IS IT SNOWING TODAY? 694 00:30:20,505 --> 00:30:23,275 >> IT'S NOT SNOWING TODAY. IT HAS BEEN SNOWING. 695 00:30:23,275 --> 00:30:26,611 AS YOU POINTED OUT. I'VE BEEN DOING THIS SORT OF ‐‐ 696 00:30:26,611 --> 00:30:30,382 I'VE BEEN GOING ON A BUNCH OF WALKS, LATELY I'VE BEEN LIKE ‐‐ 697 00:30:30,382 --> 00:30:33,685 I HAVE THIS FRIEND WHO GAVE ME THIS REALLY GOOD ADVICE BECAUSE 698 00:30:33,685 --> 00:30:36,221 I'VE BEEN PRETTY STRESSED, YOU SHOULD START WAKING UP WITH THE 699 00:30:36,221 --> 00:30:39,925 SUN IN THE MORNING. I GET UP AT LIKE 6:00 A. M. 700 00:30:39,925 --> 00:30:43,795 AND IT'S KIND OF WEIRD, WAKING UP WHEN IT'S PITCH BLACK. 701 00:30:43,795 --> 00:30:46,898 I'M NOT USED TO THAT. SO I ALSO FEEL KIND OF STRESSED 702 00:30:46,898 --> 00:30:49,668 IN THOSE SITUATIONS. SO I'VE BEEN GOING ON THESE 703 00:30:49,668 --> 00:30:52,003 WALKS. AND TO CALM MYSELF DOWN I'VE 704 00:30:52,003 --> 00:30:53,906 SORT OF JUST BEEN TALKING TO MYSELF AS I'M WALKING. 705 00:30:53,906 --> 00:30:54,239 [ LAUGHTER ] 706 00:30:54,239 --> 00:30:59,177 SO I'M SORT OF LIKE ‐‐ WHICH IS GREAT WHEN I'M BY MYSELF. 707 00:30:59,177 --> 00:31:03,482 BUT I THINK EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I TALK VERY LOUDLY. 708 00:31:03,482 --> 00:31:07,619 AND I GET PRETTY INSPIRED WHEN I TALK TO MYSELF. 709 00:31:07,619 --> 00:31:11,590 IF I HAVE A WHOLE STREET TO MYSELF, I SOMETIMES SING OR GET 710 00:31:11,590 --> 00:31:14,026 VERY LOUD. 711 00:31:14,026 --> 00:31:14,359 [ LAUGHTER ] 712 00:31:14,359 --> 00:31:15,327 >> Jimmy: WOW. SO PEOPLE MUST THINK YOU'RE 713 00:31:15,327 --> 00:31:16,194 CRAZY, I GUESS, HUH? 714 00:31:16,194 --> 00:31:20,100 >> I THINK THEY DO, WHICH IS WHY I TRY TO MAKE SURE NOBODY'S 715 00:31:20,100 --> 00:31:20,465 AROUND. 716 00:31:20,465 --> 00:31:23,402 >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU SAY? CAN YOU GIVE US A LITTLE SAMPLE 717 00:31:23,402 --> 00:31:25,537 OF WHAT KINDS OF THINGS? 718 00:31:25,537 --> 00:31:26,405 >> I THINK IT'S LIKE, YOU GOT THIS, MAN. 719 00:31:26,405 --> 00:31:29,074 [ LAUGHTER ] 720 00:31:29,074 --> 00:31:32,511 AND IT'S LIKE 6:00 A. M. SO IT'S LIKE, WHAT AM I GOING TO 721 00:31:32,511 --> 00:31:36,381 DO WITH THAT FOR THE NEXT 12 HOURS? 722 00:31:36,381 --> 00:31:38,250 >> Jimmy: POSITIVE AFFIRMATION IS WHAT IT IS. 723 00:31:38,250 --> 00:31:41,653 >> YEAH, IT'S LIKE, SO HOW WE DOING? HOW WE DOING TODAY? 724 00:31:41,653 --> 00:31:46,458 AND THEN I'M LIKE, OKAY. SO, LIKE, YOU'RE FEELING GOOD, 725 00:31:46,458 --> 00:31:50,829 YOU'RE FEELING GOOD. AND IT SNOWBALLS. 726 00:31:50,829 --> 00:31:54,966 THEN I GET REALLY ‐‐ I GET REALLY LOST IN THESE CREATIVE 727 00:31:54,966 --> 00:31:58,804 SPIRALS. THEN I, LIKE ‐‐ I'LL ENCOUNTER, 728 00:31:58,804 --> 00:32:02,441 LIKE, A BIKE ON THE STREET THAT'S LIKE MY MOM'S BIKE, AND 729 00:32:02,441 --> 00:32:05,610 I'LL FEEL, LIKE, VERY SPIRITUALLY CONNECTED TO HER. 730 00:32:05,610 --> 00:32:08,847 IT FEELS LIKE I'M ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW, IT FEELS LIKE A VERY ‐‐ A 731 00:32:08,847 --> 00:32:09,915 LOT OF THINGS COME TOGETHER. 732 00:32:09,915 --> 00:32:12,284 >> Jimmy: WHO IS THE FRIEND THAT TOLD YOU TO GET UP AT 6:00 IN 733 00:32:12,284 --> 00:32:12,617 THE MORNING? 734 00:32:12,617 --> 00:32:14,853 [ LAUGHTER ] 735 00:32:14,853 --> 00:32:16,221 >> HE'S MY FRIEND DARRELL. 736 00:32:16,221 --> 00:32:19,024 >> Jimmy: WELL, WHY DON'T YOU ASK DARRELL TO GO ON A WALK WITH 737 00:32:19,024 --> 00:32:22,928 YOU SO YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO? 738 00:32:22,928 --> 00:32:24,596 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 739 00:32:24,596 --> 00:32:26,131 >> THAT'S PROBABLY TRUE. THANK YOU. 740 00:32:26,131 --> 00:32:29,803 >> Jimmy: YOU ALSO SENT A VIDEO, OR A PHOTOGRAPH ‐‐ FIRST OF 741 00:32:29,803 --> 00:32:30,168 ALL ‐‐ 742 00:32:30,168 --> 00:32:33,705 >> YEAH, I'VE BEEN DOING THE WEIRDEST STUFF LATELY. 743 00:32:33,705 --> 00:32:35,340 IT LOOKS SCARIER THAN IT IS. 744 00:32:35,340 --> 00:32:36,708 >> Jimmy: IT LOOKS TERRIFYING. 745 00:32:36,708 --> 00:32:38,510 >> IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO MURDER SOMEONE. 746 00:32:38,510 --> 00:32:42,013 >> Jimmy: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE ALREADY MURDERED SOMEONE, YEAH. 747 00:32:42,013 --> 00:32:45,652 >> SO IT'S FOR ‐‐ THERE'S ANOTHER VIDEO THAT WILL MAKE 748 00:32:45,652 --> 00:32:46,017 SENSE. 749 00:32:46,017 --> 00:32:47,419 >> Jimmy: OKAY. ROLL THE OTHER VIDEO. 750 00:32:47,419 --> 00:32:50,288 THIS IS LIKE THAT KIND OF DEAL WHERE YOU GET IN THE FREEZING 751 00:32:50,288 --> 00:32:52,324 COLD WATER. YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE WATER IN 752 00:32:52,324 --> 00:32:53,325 THIS SHOT? 753 00:32:53,325 --> 00:32:57,095 >> YES. THAT'S ME. I DID SIX MINUTES IN THAT WATER. 754 00:32:57,095 --> 00:32:57,429 SUBMERGED. 755 00:32:57,429 --> 00:32:59,397 >> Jimmy: WHY IS YOUR FRIEND NOT MOVING AT ALL WHILE YOU ARE 756 00:32:59,397 --> 00:33:03,802 FREEZING? 757 00:33:03,802 --> 00:33:05,804 >> THEY'RE PUMPING THEMSELVES, GETTING READY TO GO IN. 758 00:33:05,804 --> 00:33:06,338 >> Jimmy: I SEE. 759 00:33:06,338 --> 00:33:09,107 >> SO IT'S LIKE YOU DO A BREATHING TECHNIQUE. 760 00:33:09,107 --> 00:33:11,743 THEN BEFORE ‐‐ TO STILL YOUR BODY AND YOUR MIND BEFORE YOU 761 00:33:11,743 --> 00:33:14,346 GET IN. SO THAT YOU CAN HANDLE IT. 762 00:33:14,346 --> 00:33:16,982 PRETTY COOL, IT'S LIKE 30 DEGREES. 763 00:33:16,982 --> 00:33:18,116 >> Jimmy: HOW LONG ARE YOU IN THERE? 764 00:33:18,116 --> 00:33:20,719 >> I'VE DONE ANYWHERE FROM 6 TO 10 MINUTES. 765 00:33:20,719 --> 00:33:22,554 >> Jimmy: 10 MINUTES, THAT'S A REALLY LONG TIME. 766 00:33:22,554 --> 00:33:24,956 >> 10 MINUTES. I WAS JUST SHAKING. 767 00:33:24,956 --> 00:33:26,024 SHAKING AFTERWARD. 768 00:33:26,024 --> 00:33:28,159 >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? ARE YOU THINKING OF ANYTHING 769 00:33:28,159 --> 00:33:29,094 WHILE YOU'RE IN THERE? 770 00:33:29,094 --> 00:33:31,599 >> I'M SORT OF PUMPING MYSELF UP A LITTLE BIT, LIKE THE WALK, 771 00:33:31,599 --> 00:33:31,964 TOO. 772 00:33:31,964 --> 00:33:32,297 [ LAUGHTER ] 773 00:33:32,297 --> 00:33:33,999 I'M LIKE ‐‐ 774 00:33:33,999 --> 00:33:36,268 >> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHEN YOU'RE IN THERE HOW LONG 775 00:33:36,268 --> 00:33:38,436 YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE? ARE YOU LOOKING AT A WATCH? 776 00:33:38,436 --> 00:33:43,208 >> NO, SOMETIMES MY WHOLE BODY STARTS TO SPIN. 777 00:33:43,208 --> 00:33:45,877 AND I TRY TO GO TO A VERY STILL PLACE IN MY MIND. 778 00:33:45,877 --> 00:33:49,814 BUT I SET A TIMER, THEN I LOOK AT THE TIMER, I LET THE SUN HIT 779 00:33:49,814 --> 00:33:53,418 MY FACE, I LET IT HEAT ME UP. 780 00:33:53,418 --> 00:33:54,853 >> Jimmy: WOW, YOU'RE REALLY TALKING THIS QUARANTINE HARD. 781 00:33:54,853 --> 00:33:55,220 [ LAUGHTER ] 782 00:33:55,220 --> 00:34:00,025 >> YEAH, EXACTLY. I KNOW. I SHOULD HAVE MORE ‐‐ I SHOULD 783 00:34:00,025 --> 00:34:03,228 JUST LIKE HANG OUT A LITTLE MORE. 784 00:34:03,228 --> 00:34:06,698 >> Jimmy: YOUR COSTAR, MICHELLE PFEIFFER, WAS WITH US LAST WEEK. 785 00:34:06,698 --> 00:34:07,799 >> REALLY? 786 00:34:07,799 --> 00:34:10,435 >> Jimmy: YEAH, SHE'S JUST THE GREATEST. 787 00:34:10,435 --> 00:34:12,704 WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE MICHELLE PFEIFFER MOVIE BEFORE WORKING 788 00:34:12,704 --> 00:34:15,740 WITH HER? 789 00:34:15,740 --> 00:34:18,910 >> WELL, I ACTUALLY HADN'T SEEN ANY OF HER MOVIES. 790 00:34:18,910 --> 00:34:21,346 >> Jimmy: I KNEW THAT. THAT'S WHY I WAS ASKING. 791 00:34:21,346 --> 00:34:21,680 [ LAUGHTER ] 792 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,149 >> I KNOW, THAT'S WHY YOU ASKED. 793 00:34:24,149 --> 00:34:24,883 >> Jimmy: NONE OF THEM? 794 00:34:24,883 --> 00:34:26,384 >> I ACTUALLY HAVEN'T, NO. 795 00:34:26,384 --> 00:34:29,387 >> Jimmy: "GREASE 2"? "BATMAN"? 796 00:34:29,387 --> 00:34:32,424 >> NEVER SEEN ONE OF HER MOVIES. 797 00:34:32,424 --> 00:34:35,226 >> Jimmy: "SCARFACE"? I GUESS THE ANSWER WILL BE NO TO 798 00:34:35,226 --> 00:34:37,896 EACH OF THOSE. DID YOU TELL HER, I'VE NEVER 799 00:34:37,896 --> 00:34:39,130 SEEN ANY OF YOUR MOVIES? 800 00:34:39,130 --> 00:34:42,133 >> NO, NEVER. IN FACT, WHEN WE'VE DONE PRESS 801 00:34:42,133 --> 00:34:43,668 TOGETHER I'VE SORT OF MANAGED TO AVOID THAT. 802 00:34:43,668 --> 00:34:44,202 >> Jimmy: YOU DODGE IT? 803 00:34:44,202 --> 00:34:45,737 >> YEAH, I DODGE IT. 804 00:34:45,737 --> 00:34:48,907 >> Jimmy: HAS ANYONE FLAT‐OUT ASKED YOU WHAT YOUR FAVORITE 805 00:34:48,907 --> 00:34:50,041 MICHELLE PFEIFFER MOVIE IS? 806 00:34:50,041 --> 00:34:50,542 >> NO, JUST ‐‐ JUST YOU. 807 00:34:50,542 --> 00:34:52,611 [ LAUGHTER ] 808 00:34:52,611 --> 00:34:53,144 >> Jimmy: JUST ME, YEAH. 809 00:34:53,144 --> 00:34:56,781 >> JUST YOU. 810 00:34:56,781 --> 00:34:59,317 >> Jimmy: SHE'S VERY GOOD. I THINK YOU'D REALLY LIKE HER. 811 00:34:59,317 --> 00:35:01,519 YOU'VE GOT SOME LIST OF ON‐SCREEN MOMS. 812 00:35:01,519 --> 00:35:03,455 I'M LOOKING AT IT NOW. MICHELLE, OF COURSE. 813 00:35:03,455 --> 00:35:07,258 JULIA ROBERTS. NICOLE KIDMAN. FRANCES McDORMAND. 814 00:35:07,258 --> 00:35:11,296 HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OF THE OTHER MOMS' MOVIES? 815 00:35:11,296 --> 00:35:16,034 >> YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK ‐‐ I'D SEEN, I THINK, ONE JULIA 816 00:35:16,034 --> 00:35:19,237 ROBERTS MOVIE BEFORE I WORKED WITH HER, MAYBE. 817 00:35:19,237 --> 00:35:22,774 I'D SEEN HER IN "BROCKOVICH" WHEN I WAS A KID BUT THAT WAS IT. 818 00:35:22,774 --> 00:35:25,543 >> Jimmy: WOW, YOU'VE SEEN MORE OF YOUR MOM'S BICYCLES THAN YOU 819 00:35:25,543 --> 00:35:26,611 HAVE OF THEIR MOVIES. 820 00:35:26,611 --> 00:35:29,781 >> YES, YES. NICE, MAN. THAT'S GOOD, THAT'S GOOD. 821 00:35:29,781 --> 00:35:33,718 >> Jimmy: I LIKE TO TIE IT TOGETHER TO WRAP IT UP IN A NEAT 822 00:35:33,718 --> 00:35:34,719 LITTLE PACKAGE. 823 00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:35,086 >> YEAH. 824 00:35:35,086 --> 00:35:36,921 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE A TERRIFIC ACTOR. 825 00:35:36,921 --> 00:35:38,857 THIS MOVIE IS CALLED "FRENCH EXIT." 826 00:35:38,857 --> 00:35:41,860 IT IS IN THEATERS IN NEW YORK AND L. A. ON FRIDAY, THEN 827 00:35:41,860 --> 00:35:45,430 NATIONWIDE APRIL 2nd. RISK YOUR LIFE TO SEE IT. 828 00:35:45,430 --> 00:35:52,771 LUCAS HEDGES, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE BACK WITH WAXAHATCHEE. 829 00:35:52,771 --> 00:35:55,674 >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS 830 00:35:55,674 --> 00:35:59,080 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ, THE BEST OR NOTHING. 831 00:35:59,080 --> 00:35:59,489 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 832 00:36:01,279 --> 00:36:07,152 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK. STILL TO COME, WAXAHATCHEE ‐‐ 833 00:36:07,152 --> 00:36:08,887 >> JIMMY, JIMMY. 834 00:36:08,887 --> 00:36:10,355 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S GOING ON? 835 00:36:10,355 --> 00:36:11,325 >> JIMMY, I NEED HELP PICKING OUT A VALENTINE'S GIFT FOR MY 836 00:36:11,325 --> 00:36:11,756 WIFE. 837 00:36:11,756 --> 00:36:12,991 >> Jimmy: WHAT DID YOU GET HER LAST YEAR? 838 00:36:12,991 --> 00:36:13,591 >> I GOT HER A PHONE CHARGER. 839 00:36:13,591 --> 00:36:14,492 >> Jimmy: YOU GOT HER A PHONE CHARGER? 840 00:36:14,492 --> 00:36:18,263 >> YES, SO SHE CAN CHARGE HER PHONE. 841 00:36:18,263 --> 00:36:20,165 >> Jimmy: OH, OKAY. WHAT DID DID YOU GET HER THE 842 00:36:20,165 --> 00:36:20,965 YEAR BEFORE THAT? 843 00:36:20,965 --> 00:36:21,466 >> I GOT HER OVEN MITTS. 844 00:36:21,466 --> 00:36:23,168 >> Jimmy: YOU GOT HER OVEN MITTS? 845 00:36:23,168 --> 00:36:23,868 [ LAUGHTER ] 846 00:36:23,868 --> 00:36:24,402 >> YES, SO SHE CAN ‐‐ 847 00:36:24,402 --> 00:36:27,372 >> Jimmy: I KNOW WHAT OVEN MITTS ARE FOR. 848 00:36:27,372 --> 00:36:32,877 GUILLERMO, NONE OF THESE ARE ROMANTIC GIFTS AT ALL. 849 00:36:32,877 --> 00:36:36,414 I SUGGEST YOU USE FTD FLOWERS. THEY USE LOCAL FLORISTS IN YOUR 850 00:36:36,414 --> 00:36:37,782 NEIGHBORHOOD AND THE ORDERING PROCESS IS EASY, CONVENIENT AND 851 00:36:37,782 --> 00:36:43,321 PERSONAL. OH MY ‐‐ FOR ME? 852 00:36:43,321 --> 00:36:47,158 FROM YOU? YOU REMEMBERED. 853 00:36:47,158 --> 00:36:49,260 >> YES, ALWAYS. 854 00:36:49,260 --> 00:36:52,197 >> Dicky: FTD, THE MODERN FLORIST COLLECTIVE THAT MAKES IT 855 00:36:52,197 --> 00:36:54,232 EASY TO SHOP FLOWERS LOCALLY. GET 20% OFF NOW WHEN VISITING 856 00:36:54,232 --> 00:37:00,038 FTD.COM/VDAY. 857 00:37:00,038 --> 00:37:00,538 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 858 00:37:00,538 --> 00:37:01,606 >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS 859 00:37:01,606 --> 00:37:07,545 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 860 00:37:07,545 --> 00:37:08,747 >> Jimmy: MANY THANKS TO WANDA SYKES, LUCAS HEDGES, AND 861 00:37:08,747 --> 00:37:11,683 ANDY DALY, APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. WE RAN OUT OF TIME. 862 00:37:11,683 --> 00:37:13,418 "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT, BUT FIRST, THE ALBUM IS CALLED 863 00:37:13,418 --> 00:37:17,222 "SAINT CLOUD" WITH THE SONG "LILACS," WAXAHATCHEE! 864 00:37:17,222 --> 00:37:20,925 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 865 00:37:22,829 --> 00:37:23,194 ♪ 866 00:37:23,194 --> 00:37:31,803 ♪ 867 00:37:31,803 --> 00:37:32,370 ♪ I WAKE UP FEELING NOTHING 868 00:37:32,370 --> 00:37:36,274 CAMOUFLAGE THE WAVERING SKY I SIT AT MY PIANO 869 00:37:36,274 --> 00:37:37,776 WANDER THE WILD WHEREBY ♪ 870 00:37:37,776 --> 00:37:39,277 ♪ AND THE LILACS 871 00:37:39,277 --> 00:37:44,048 DRANK THE WATER AND THE LILACS DIE 872 00:37:44,048 --> 00:37:44,449 AND THE LILACS ♪ 873 00:37:44,449 --> 00:37:45,283 ♪ DRANK THE WATER 874 00:37:45,283 --> 00:37:48,153 MARKING THE SLOW 875 00:37:48,153 --> 00:38:02,500 SLOW SLOW PASSING OF TIME 876 00:38:02,500 --> 00:38:03,501 I GET SO ANGRY BABY ♪ 877 00:38:03,501 --> 00:38:04,536 ♪ AT SOMETHING YOU MIGHT SAY 878 00:38:04,536 --> 00:38:07,272 I DREAM ABOUT AN AWFUL STRANGER WORK MY WAY ♪ 879 00:38:07,272 --> 00:38:08,306 ♪ THROUGH THE DAY 880 00:38:08,306 --> 00:38:12,210 I RUN IT LIKE A SILENT MOVIE I RUN IT LIKE A VIOLENT SONG 881 00:38:12,210 --> 00:38:12,544 RUN IT LIKE ♪ 882 00:38:12,544 --> 00:38:13,545 ♪ A VOICE COMPELLING 883 00:38:13,545 --> 00:38:19,350 SO RIGHT IT CAN'T BE WRONG IF I'M A BROKEN RECORD 884 00:38:19,350 --> 00:38:22,487 WRITE IT IN THE DUST BABE ♪ 885 00:38:22,487 --> 00:38:23,755 ♪ I'LL FILL MYSELF BACK UP LIKE 886 00:38:23,755 --> 00:38:25,990 I USED TO DO ♪ 887 00:38:25,990 --> 00:38:29,761 ♪ AND IF MY BONES ARE 888 00:38:29,761 --> 00:38:32,263 MADE OF DELICATE SUGAR I WON'T END UP ANYWHERE 889 00:38:32,263 --> 00:38:45,043 GOOD WITHOUT YOU OOH ♪ 890 00:38:45,043 --> 00:38:55,787 ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TOO 891 00:38:55,787 --> 00:39:00,992 WHEN I LIVE A SPARSE EXISTENCE I'LL DROP DOWN IN THE FOLD ♪ 892 00:39:00,992 --> 00:39:02,527 ♪ LEAN IN TO 893 00:39:02,527 --> 00:39:05,496 AN URGENT FALTER SPIN SILENCE INTO GOLD 894 00:39:05,496 --> 00:39:07,031 I RUN IT LIKE THE CROP ♪ 895 00:39:07,031 --> 00:39:08,499 ♪ OF KISMET I RUN IT 896 00:39:08,499 --> 00:39:11,536 LIKE A DILETTANTE I RUN IT LIKE I'M 897 00:39:11,536 --> 00:39:13,037 HAPPY BABY LIKE I ♪ 898 00:39:13,037 --> 00:39:15,540 ♪ GOT EVERYTHING I WANT 899 00:39:15,540 --> 00:39:19,544 IF I'M A BROKEN RECORD WRITE IT IN THE DUST BABE 900 00:39:19,544 --> 00:39:21,045 I'LL FILL MYSELF BACK UP ♪ 901 00:39:21,045 --> 00:39:22,780 ♪ LIKE I USED TO DO 902 00:39:22,780 --> 00:39:25,783 AND IF MY BONES 903 00:39:25,783 --> 00:39:32,757 ARE MADE OF DELICATE SUGAR I WON'T END UP ANYWHERE ♪ 904 00:39:32,757 --> 00:39:34,759 ♪ GOOD WITHOUT YOU 905 00:39:34,759 --> 00:39:40,598 I WON'T END UP ANYWHERE 906 00:39:40,598 --> 00:39:52,243 GOOD WITHOUT YOU OOH ♪ 907 00:39:52,243 --> 00:40:00,919 ♪ I NEED YOUR LOVE TOO 908 00:40:00,919 --> 00:40:05,123 ♪ AND THE LILACS 909 00:40:05,123 --> 00:40:05,924 DRANK THE WATER AND THE LILACS 910 00:40:05,924 --> 00:40:14,299 DRANK THE WATER ♪ 911 00:40:14,299 --> 00:40:14,999 ♪ AND THE LILACS DRANK THE 912 00:40:14,999 --> 00:40:26,844 WATER ♪