>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE."
TONIGHT, MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY. KATHRYN HAHN.
AND MUSIC FROM RHYE. AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
>> Jimmy: HI, THANKS. HI, I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST.
THANKS FOR WATCHING ON ANOTHER VERY CHILLY DAY ALMOST
EVERYWHERE BUT HERE. SNOW IS ON THE GROUND.
MORE THAN 17 INCHES IN NEW YORK CITY.
IN CHICAGO, THERE WAS ABOUT A FOOT OF SNOW.
AND THIS ALMOST FEELS LIKE LIFE IS GETTING BACK TO NORMAL.
PEOPLE SNOWBOARDING BEHIND CARS. PEOPLE SNOWBOARDING BEHIND
MINIVANS AND TRUCKS. THERE WERE PEOPLE SLEDDING.
THIS PERSON GOT A FREE RIDE ON THE BUS.
THAT IS NOW THE SAFEST WAY TO USE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.
YOU COULDN'T TELL BECAUSE THE FACE WAS BLURRED OUT, BUT THAT
WAS OPRAH. [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S RIGHT. WE CAN HAVE A LOT MORE SNOW ON
THE WAY, AT LEAST ACCORDING TO PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL.
YOU KNOW HE KEEPS SAYING THAT EVERY DAY IN THIS PANDEMIC FEELS
LIKE GROUNDHOG DAY? WELL, TODAY IT REALLY DID.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I KNOW GROUNDHOG DAY DOESN'T
ACTUALLY REPEAT ITSELF, THAT'S THE MOVIE, NOT THE DAY.
BUT JUST IN CASE, I HIRED A BELGIAN WAFFLE TRUCK TO PARK
OUTSIDE MY HOUSE THIS MORNING. I FIGURE IF I'M LIVING THE DAY
OVER AND OVER AGAIN, WHY NOT START IT OFF WITH WAFFLES?
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] BECAUSE OF COVID, THEY HAD A
VIRTUAL YANKING OF THE ANIMAL FROM ITS HOME THIS YEAR.
AN EVENT THAT WAS HIGHLIGHTED BY A WEIRDLY TENDER MOMENT, BETWEEN
THE PRESIDENT OF THE GROUNDHOG CLUB AND PHIL.
>> DID THIS ONE? IS IT THIS ONE?
OKAY. OKAY!
OH, YOU -- YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL TODAY.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S WEIRD.
M IMAGINE HOW INSANE THAT MUST
HAVE LOOKED LIKE FROM THE GROUNDHOG'S POINT OF VIEW.
OH, BOY, HERE COMES THE TOPHAT CREW AGAIN.
POOR PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL. THEN WHEN THEY DID FINALLY FORCE
HIM OUT, HE WAS FORCED TO LISTEN TO A POEM.
>> THERE DID I SEE A PERFECT SHADOW CAST OF ME.
SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER THERE WILL BE.
>> Jimmy: WHY ARE THEY CHEERING FOR THAT ARE?
I DON'T KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ]
SIX MORE WEEKS OF ZOOM SCHOOL. THAT WAS GOING DOWN AT GOBBLER'S
KNOB TODAY. I DON'T GET GROUNDHOG DAY.
LAST YEAR'S FESTIVITIES SHATTERED RECORDS, CROWD-WISE.
40,000 PEOPLE SHOWED UP. DOUBLE THE NUMBER FROM THE YEAR
BEFORE. WHICH I DON'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL.
IF I WANTED TO SEE A FAT RODENT HIDING IN A HOLE, I'D GO TO
MAR-A-LAGO. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] NO DRUMS.
WE'VE GOT TO GET YOU A DRUM SET. >> Guillermo: YES, TOMORROW.
>> Jimmy: AND THE TIMING OF THIS EVENT LOOKING BACK IS VERY
SUSPICIOUS. THINK ABOUT THIS.
ON FEBRUARY 2nd OF LAST YEAR, WE HAD ZERO REPORTED DEATHS FROM
COVID. WASN'T EVEN A THING.
MOST OF THE NEWS THAT DAY WAS ABOUT THE SUPER BOWL.
BUT THEN, A MONTH AND A HALF LATER, THE WHOLE COUNTRY WAS ON
LOCKDOWN. EXACTLY SIX WEEKS, TO THE DAY,
AFTER GROUNDHOG DAY! LOOK WHAT HAPPENED.
BUT WHO COULD HAVE KNOWN? WHO, ON FEBRUARY 2nd, 2020,
COULD POSSIBLY PREDICT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IN SIX WEEKS?
THAT [ BLEEP ] GROUNDHOG, THAT'S WHO!
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] AND HE DIDN'T TELL US!
MAYBE THE VIRUS COMES FROM GROUNDHOGS.
MAYBE WE JUST GOT INFECTED AGAIN TODAY.
WHY DO PEOPLE LISTEN TO Q AND NOT ME?
[ LAUGHTER ] MITCH McCONNELL EMERGED FROM HIS
SHELL YESTERDAY TO DISTANCE HIMSELF FROM CONGRESSWOMAN
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE. THE SENATE MINORITY LEADER
CALLED HER OUT FOR LATCHING ON TO, QUOTE, LOONEY LIES AND
CONSPIRACY THEORIES. EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T MENTION
HER, HE SUGGESTED PEOPLE LIKE HER ARE A CANCER ON THE PARTY
THAT IS DISTRACTING REPUBLICANS FROM THE IMPORTANT WORK OF
BLOCKING COVID RELIEF FROM MILLIONS OF AMERICANS WHO NEED
IT. [ LAUGHTER ]
McCONNELL IS ONE OF ONLY A HANDFUL OF REPUBLICANS TO SPEAK
OUT AGAINST THIS WOMAN. I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS SURPRISES
ME, BUT IT DOES. HOUSE DEMOCRATS ARE SAYING THAT
IF REPUBLICANS DON'T STRIP GREENE OF HER COMMITTEE
ASSIGNMENTS, THEY WILL. AND REPUBLICANS ARE LIKE, "UM,
GREAT. WOULDJA MIND?"
WHY WE'RE NOT GONE THAT DO IT, THESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY."
[ LAUGHTER ] GREENE IS, OF COURSE, NOW TRYING
TO MAKE MONEY OFF HER TERRIBLENESS.
SHE TWEETED "DEMOCRATS ARE TRYING TO EXPEL ME FROM
CONGRESS. HELP ME RAISE $50,000 TODAY AND
SEND A MESSAGE." WHAT MESSAGE?
I AM CRAZY AND CARELESS WITH MONEY?
[ LAUGHTER ] KLAN MOM SPENT THE WHOLE DAY
TODAY ASKING FOR MONEY. AND PEOPLE GAVE IT TO HER.
SHE'S UP TO NEARLY $100,000 NOW. EVEN THOUGH TODAY WE SAW VIDEOS
FROM A YEAR AGO, IN WHICH SHE ENCOURAGED OTHERS TO SURROUND
AND BREAK INTO THE CAPITOL TO MAKE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS
"COWER IN FEAR," AND SHE CALLED DAVID HOGG, THE TEENAGER WHOSE
CLASSMATES WERE KILLED AT PARKLAND, A COWARD AND "IDIOT"
WHO WAS "TRAINED LIKE A DOG." VERY NICE LADY, REALLY NICE.
[ LAUGHTER ] GREENE SAYS SHE HAS SPOKEN TO
DONALD TRUMP ON THE PHONE AND HAS HIS FULL SUPPORT.
THEY ARE EVEN PLANNING TO GET TOGETHER SOON.
OH-OH, LOOK OUT, MELANIA, SHE'S COMING FOR YOUR GUY.
[ LAUGHTER ] BY THE WAY, I KNOW SHE LIKES TO
SPREAD CONSPIRACY THEORIES, BUT HAS ANYONE EVER SEEN MARJORIE
TAYLOR GREENE AND JONATHAN TAYLOR THOMAS IN THE
SAME ROOM AT THE SAME TIME? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
NO? BECAUSE THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON.
[ LAUGHTER ] LAST WEEK THE MY PILLOW GUY,
MIKE LINDELL, WHO I'M LOVING MORE AND MORE EACH DAY, WAS
BANNED FROM TWITTER. AFTER HE WAS BANNED HIS ACCOUNT
WAS PULLED. HE DECIDED TO FIRE OFF TWEETS
FROM THE MY PILLOW COMPANY ACCOUNT WHICH IS NOT ALLOWED,
ONCE YOU'RE BANNED FROM TWITTER, YOU CAN'T JUST USE ANOTHER
ACCOUNT. NOW THE MY PILLOW ACCOUNT IS
BANNED TOO. IF HE'S NOT CAREFUL, MIKE COULD
BE GETTING THE BOOT FROM NEWSMAX, ONE OF THE OUTLETS THAT
SOLD THE BOGUS STORY THAT THE VOTING MACHINES WERE RIGGED.
NOW THEY'RE WORRIED THEY MIGHT GET SUED.
TONIGHT WHEN MIKE LINDELL WAS ON, TRYING TO REHASH THESE CRAZY
CLAIMS HE KEEPS MAKING THAT TRUMP ACTUALLY WON THE ELECTION
AND HE HAS EVIDENCE ABOUT THE MACHINES, THEY WANTED NONE OF
IT. >> MINE WAS TAKEN DOWN BECAUSE
WE HAVE ALL THE ELECTION PROBLEMS WITH THESE MACHINES, WE
HAVE 100% PROOF -- >> NEWSMAX ACCEPTS THE RESULTS
AS LEGALLY AND FINAL -- WE WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT
CANCEL CULTURE, IF YOU WILL, WE DON'T WANT TO RELITIGATE THE --
>> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. >> MIKE, WE UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU
ARE, SO LET ME ASK YOU THIS. DO YOU THINK THAT THIS SHOULD BE
TEMPORARY, BECAUSE IT APPEARS TO BE PERMANENT, COULD YOU MAKE AN
ARGUMENT THAT IT IS TEMPORARY? >> WHAT?
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I KNOW HE USED TO SMOKE CRACK.
MAYBE NOW HE'S EATING IT? I DON'T KNOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW IT'S BAD WHEN NEWSMAX
IS LIKE "DIAL IT DOWN, BUDDY." AND THAT WASN'T EVEN THE
NUTTIEST PART OF THE INTERVIEW. THIS WAS.
>> WOULD YOU MAKE AN ARGUMENT THIS COULD BE A TEMPORARY
BANNING RATHER THAN PERMANENT? >> NO, I WANTED IT TO BE
PERMANENT, BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?
BECAUSE I'M REVIEWING ALL THE EVIDENCE ON FRIDAY OF ALL THE
ELECTION FRAUD OF THESE MACHINES, SO I'M SORRY IF YOU
THINK IT'S NOT -- >> OKAY, MIKE, CAN I ASK OUR
PRODUCERS, CAN WE GET OUT OF HERE, PLEASE?
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO KEEP GOING OVER THIS.
>> ACTUALLY, MIKE -- >> WE'VE NOT BEEN ABLE TO VERIFY
ANY OF THOSE ALLEGATIONS THAT YOU ARE --
>> EVERYBODY ■HOLDONA ECOND. MIKE, HOLD ON ONE SECOND.
LET'S TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT -- [ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: WHAT'S HAPPENING IS
BOB WENT HOME. HAS ANYONE LOOKED INTO
CORRELATION BETWEEN MY PILLOW AND QANON?
MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING IN THOSE PILLOWS THAT MAKES PEOPLE GO
INSANE. I MEAN, YOUR HEAD'S ON IT FOR
EIGHT HOURS EVERY NIGHT, THE GUY WHO INVENTED THEM WAS ON CRACK.
WHO KNOWS? THEY MIGHT BE STUFFED WITH
MOTHBALLS AND THERMOMETER MERCURY.
[ LAUGHTER ] DONALD TRUMP'S NEW NEW LAWYERS
TODAY, RELEASED THEIR RESPONSE TO THE IMPEACHMENT CHARGES THEY
WILL DEFEND HIM AGAINST IN THE SENATE NEXT WEEK.
AND THIS IS GREAT. ON THE VERY FIRST PAGE, OF THEIR
FIRST LEGAL FILING, THEY WROTE, "TO THE HONORABLE MEMBERS OF THE
UNITES SENATE." THEY MISSPELLED "UNITED STATES."
AND WE'RE OFF! [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS INCREDIBLE TOO. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IVANKA AND
JARED MADE LAST YEAR? JARED AND IVANKA REPORTED A
COMBINED INCOME FOR 2020 OF BETWEEN $23 MILLION AND $121
MILLION. WHICH RAISES A NUMBER OF
IMPORTANT QUESTIONS LIKE, FOR WHAT?
[ LAUGHTER ] AND, WHAT IS BETWEEN 23 AND 121
MILLION, CAN WE NARROW THAT DOWN TO AN EIGHT-FIGURE WINDOW,
PLEASE? [ LAUGHTER ]
AND THIS IS ACTUALLY DOWN FROM WHAT THEY MADE LAST YEAR.
LAST YEAR THEY MADE MORE. WE HAVE TWO DEPARTMENT STORE
MANNEQUINS, WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES, MAKING
MORE THAN $250 MILLION OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS.
BUT WHERE'S HUNTER? [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW TRUMP DOESN'T LIKE THIS, RIGHT?
YOU KNOW HE -- THE ONLY THING MORE EMBARRASSING
THAN LOSING THE ELECTION IS HAVING HIS SON-IN-LAW MAKE MORE
MONEY THAN HE DOES. [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS WAS THE OTHER FINANCIAL BOMBSHELL TODAY.
JEFF BEZOS ANNOUNCED THAT HE IS STEPPING DOWN AS CEO OF
AMAZON. HE WILL OFFICIALLY LEAVE AT SOME
POINT THIS SUMMER, OR BY THURSDAY, IF YOU ORDER USING
PRIME. [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS ANNOUNCEMENT SEEMS TO HAVE COME OUT OF THE BLUE, BUT IT
DIDN'T. YOU MAY HAVE SEEN THIS.
TWO DAYS AGO, THE HEADLINE "TOYS "R" US CLOSED ITS LAST TWO U.S.
STORES." I GUESS JEFF SAW THAT AND SAID,
MY WORK HERE IS DONE. [ LAUGHTER ]
NOW HE WILL TRANSITION FROM BEING THE EXECUTIVE CHAIR -- OR
THE CEO TO THE EXECUTIVE CHAIR OF THE AMAZON BOARD.
WHICH WOULD GIVE HIM MORE TIME TO FOCUS ON HIS OTHER PROJECTS,
LIKE HIS BLUE ORIGIN SPACESHIP COMPANY, AND ACQUIRING ENOUGH
KRYPTONITE TO KILL SUPERMAN. [ LAUGHTER ]
DID YOU SEE THE ALTERCATION AT THE LAKERS -- DID YOU WATCH THE
LAKERS GAME LAST NIGHT? >> Guillermo: NO, JIMMY, I DID
NOT. >> Jimmy: THE LAKERS BEAT THE
HAWKS IN ATLANTA AND LeBRON GOT INTO IT WITH ONE OF THEIR FANS.
>> WE'VE GOT A LOT OF JAWING GOING ON, FRONT ROW, LOOK AT
THAT. NOW SECURITY IS GETTING
INVOLVED. AND THE SECURITY IS ACTUALLY --
I MEAN, THE REFEREES ARE ACTUALLY TELLING THE SECURITY,
THEY MAY WANT TO USHER SOMEBODY OUT OF THE BUILDING.
THIS LADY -- WOW. WELL, SHE'S POINTING LIKE THAT
ONE MEME WITH THE LADY AND THE CAT?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, SO THAT WOMAN AND HER HUSBAND WERE EJECTED
FROM THE GAME. TURNS OUT HER NAME IS JULIANNA
CARLOS. AFTER THE GAME, JULIANNA TOOK TO
SOCIAL MEDIA TO DEFEND HERSELF. >> I'M MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS,
DRINKING MY [ MUTED ], HAVING FUN.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, LeBRON SAYS SOMETHING TO MY HUSBAND.
AND I SEE THIS AND I GO -- I STAND UP AND SAY, DON'T YOU
[ BLEEP ] TALK TO MY HUSBAND. HE LOOKED TO ME AND GOES, SHUT
THE [ BLEEP ] DOWN, BITCH. DON'T CALL ME A BITCH, YOU SHUT
THE [ BLEEP ], [ BLEEP ]. ALL OF A SUDDEN I'M GETTING
KICKED OUT. EXCUSE ME I, I HAVE COURTSIDE
SEATS THAT I PAID FOR, [ BLEEP ] YOU, LeBRON, [ BLEEP ],
[ BLEEP ], [ BLEEP ], YOU'RE GOING TO LET A 25-YEAR-OLD GIRL
INTIMIDATE YOU DURING A GAME? BYE, BITCH.
>> Jimmy: WAIT, DID SHE SAY 25? [ LAUGHTER ]
I DIDN'T KNOW THEY'D BEEN MAKING THOSE DOLLS FOR 25 YEARS.
[ LAUGHTER ] AFTER THE GAME, LeBRON TWEETS
THIS. "COURT SIDE KAREN WAS MAD, MAD."
AND THAT WAS IT. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I LIKE COURTSIDE KAREN.
LIKE BARBIES, ONE FOR EVERY OCCASION.
DOG WALKER KAREN, MALIBU KAREN. SUNDAY, YOU PROBABLY KNOW, IS
SUPER BOWL SUNDAY. THE CDC ISSUED THEIR
RECOMMENDATION FOR HAVING SUPER BOWL PARTIES.
THEY RECOMMEND THAT YOU DON'T HAVE THEM.
[ LAUGHTER ] HERE IN L.A. COUNTY, SAME THING,
THEY'RE WARNING SUPER BOWL PARTIES COULD BE SUPERSPREADER
EVENTS THAT KICK START THE VIRUS AGAIN, LIKE CHRISTMAS AND
THANKSGIVING DID. YOU KNOW, IF YOU STAY HOME,
YOU'RE ALMOST GUARANTEED TO WIN YOUR SUPER BOWL SQUARES POOL.
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S EXPECTED TO BE A CLOSE
GAME. KANSAS CITY IS A 3.5 POINT
FAVORITE. TAMPA BAY HAS TOM BRADY, AND
THERE WILL BE MANY PICKS MADE, SOME BY HUMANS, SOME BY ANIMALS.
THIS IS SOMETHING WE LOOK FORWARD TO EVERY YEAR.
WE FOUND A PAIR OF DOGS IN EUGENE, OREGON, TWO PUGS NAMED
ILLA AND PETUNIA. NOT ONLY HAVE ELLA AND PETUNIA
CORRECTLY PICKED THE WINNER OF THE SUPER BOWL FIVE YEARS IN A
ROW. THEY ALSO PREDICTED THAT THE
DODGERS WOULD WIN THE WORLD SERIES, THE NBA FINALS, AND MOST
RECENTLY, THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.
SO ONCE AGAIN WE REACHED OUT TO THEIR OWNERS, LEON AND PAT, WHO
AGREED TO LET THEIR PROGNOSTICATING PUGS MAKE A
PICK. AND NOW, ALL THE WAY FROM
EUGENE, OREGON, PLEASE WELCOME ELLA AND PETUNIA!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] HI, ELLA AND PETUNIA, THANKS FOR
JOINING US AGAIN. IT'S JIMMY.
I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD GET YOUR PICK FOR THE SUPER BOWL.
GUYS? WE'RE ALL VERY INTERESTED.
YOU'VE HAD SO MUCH SUCCESS WITH THE PICKS IN THE PAST.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW?
DO YOU HAVE A -- ALL RIGHT. WELL.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I THINK WE'LL FOCUS ON THE OVER/UNDER.
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
KATHRYN HAHN IS WITH US. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WE HAVE MUSIC FROM RHYE. AND WE'LL BE BACK WITH MATTHEW
McCONAUGHEY! >> Jimmy: HI, WELCOME BACK TO
THE SHOW. TONIGHT, FROM THE NEW MARVEL
SERIES "WANDAVISION" ON DISNEY PLUS, KATHRYN HAHN IS WITH US.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] SHE IS GREAT.
LATER, THIS IS HIS ALBUM. IT'S CALLED "HOME."
MUSIC FROM RHYE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
TOMORROW NIGHT, MAGIC JOHNSON AND JENNY SLATE WILL JOIN US,
WITH MUSIC FROM ASHNEEKO. PLEASE JOIN US FOR THAT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] OUR FIRST GUEST HAS AN OSCAR, A
GOLDEN GLOBE, A BOOK ON "THE NEW YORK TIMES" BESTSELLER LIST,
AND THIS WEEKEND HIS FIRST-EVER SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL FOR
DORITOS. PLEASE SAY HELLO TO THE UNO AND
ONLY, MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU, KIMMIE. HOW YOU DOING, SIR?
>> Jimmy: HOW YOU DOING? I GET THE HAT ALREADY, GREEN
LIGHTS JUST LIKE YOUR BOOK. >> GREEN LIGHTS, AND A COVID
CUT, WHO KNOWS HOW LONG BEFORE COVID'S GONE, HOPE I'M NOT
TRIPPING OVER IT BEFORE IT IS. >> Jimmy: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU HAD A HAIRCUT? >> ABOUT 12 MONTHS AGO.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: REALLY?
MY HAIR WOULD BE DOWN TO MY KNEES IF I HADN'T HAD A HAIRCUT
FOR 12 MONTHS. >> I'M WORKING ON IT.
>> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF MONTHS, YOU WERE ON OUR SHOW RIGHT WHEN
YOUR BOOK CAME OUT. THE BOOK WENT RIGHT TO NUMBER
ONE. IT DEBUTED NUMBER ONE IN THE
"NEW YORK TIMES" BESTSELLER LIST.
14 WEEKS AGO, IT'S STILL -- IT'S NOW NUMBER TWO ON "THE NEW YORK
TIMES" BESTSELLER LIST. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THANKFULLY. RIGHT BEHIND OBAMA.
TRYING TO CATCH OBAMA, IT'S A PRETTY GOOD SPOT TO BE.
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE BEHIND OBAMA. THAT'S NOT FAIR, REALLY, BECAUSE
OBAMA NEVER WOKE UP AFTER DOING PEYOTE IN A CAGE WITH A MOUNTAIN
LION, AND YOU DID. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> I DIDN'T READ -- I READ THAT HE -- I DIDN'T READ ANY STORY IN
HIS BOOK ABOUT MAKING UP IN THAT MOUNTAIN LION CAGE.
>> Jimmy: MAYBE HE'S SAVING FOR PART TWO.
ARE YOU WORKING ON A PART TWO? >> SOMEWHAT, YEAH.
YOU KNOW, BEING ON THE TOUR NOW, TALKING ABOUT THE BOOK FOR 14
WEEKS, SOME OF THE IDEAS THAT I PRESENTED IN "GREEN LIGHTS" ARE
NOT CRYSTALLIZING. I DON'T WANT TO RECOOK THE
SOUFFLE WITH A "GREEN LIGHTS PART 2" BUT I HAVE AN IDEA FOR
THE NEXT ONE. >> Jimmy: I HAVE AN IDEA FOR THE
BOOK. I SHOULD PROBABLY PITCH THIS TO
YOU PRIVATELY, BUT I'M GOING TO PITCH IT NOW.
>> LET'S HEAR IT. >> Jimmy: THE NEXT BOOK, I WRITE
A CHAPTER AS YOU. >> YES.
>> Jimmy: BUT WE DON'T TELL ANYBODY, AND WE SWEAR NEVER TO
TELL ANYONE WHICH ONE IT IS. BUT I'LL WRITE SOME STORY LIKE,
THE TIME I CIRCUMCISED WILLIE NELSON ON THE TOP A MOUNTAIN OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND LEAVE IT TO THE
READERS TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS THE FAKE ITEM IN THE BOOK.
>> THEN ON THAT SUBJECT, I'LL COME ON YOUR SHOW, BUT I'LL
INTERVIEW YOU ABOUT THAT CHAP PER.
>> Jimmy: PERFECT. >> REAL WONDERING WHO'S COMING
AND GOING. >> Jimmy: I LIKE THIS A LOT.
[ APPLAUSE ] IT'S MY OWN IDEA BUT I LIKE IT.
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT DOING A LOT OF INTERVIEWS ABOUT THE BOOK AND
LEARNING FROM THEM. I WONDER WHAT YOU LEARNED FROM
THIS PARTICULAR TELEVISION APPEARANCE AND PROMOTION, ROLL
THE TAPE. >> LOOK AT WHO McINTYRE CAN
CELEBRATE TONIGHT. JOINING US LIVE IN THE WWE
THUNDER DOME, TAKE A LOOK THERE, THAT IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST STARS
IN HOLLYWOOD, A HUGE WWE FAN. >> HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
>> MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY WITH HIS TWO SONS.
>> MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY, A HUGE FAN OF DREW McINTYRE.
I'M SURE HE WAS A LITTLE UPSET McINTYRE LOST THE WWE
CHAMPIONSHIP. >> HA HA, YES.
>> Jimmy: I BET THE BOYS LIKED THAT, HUH?
>> OH, THEY DID. I'VE TAKEN THEM TO SEE SOME LIVE
SHOWS HERE IN AUSTIN. AND IT'S A GAS, MAN.
THE SHOWS ARE FUN. IT'S WONDERFULLY CORNY.
THAT GROUP, EVERYONE THAT RUNS WWE, THEY ARE SO DOGGONE
FRIENDLY AND FAMILY ORIENTED. THEY TREATED US WONDERFULLY.
I'VE BEEN A WRESTLING FAN SINCE I WAS 8.
>> Jimmy: WHO'S YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE WRESTLER?
>> HACKSAW JIM DUGGIN, COME OUT WITH THE TWO BY FOUR, BABY.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S A WRESTLING
NAME, HACKSAW DREW DUGGIN. WHAT'S DREW McINTYRE?
SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THE NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK OR SOMETHING.
HE NEEDS A NEW NAME. I KNOW YOU -- YOU'RE CO-OWNER OF
A PROFESSIONAL SOCCER TEAM IN AUSTIN, WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE
TEAM? >> AUSTIN FC.
>> Jimmy: AUSTIN FC. [ LAUGHTER ]
WE HAVE LAFC OUT HERE. >> YEAH, WE ARE THE FIGHTING
VERDES, SIR. >> Jimmy: THE FIGHTING VERDES.
>> COMING TO AUSTIN, THE INTERNATIONAL GAME OF SOCCER IS
COMING TO AUSTIN. NOW WE'RE HAVING FUN DOING THIS.
HOW ARE WE GOING TO BRING AUSTIN TO SOCCER?
>> Jimmy: WELL, IT'S A FUNNY THING, BECAUSE YOU KNOW,
EVERYONE'S KID PLAYS SOCCER, REALLY.
YOU WATCH THE GAME, AND FOR SOME REASON, IT'S NEVER -- YOU NEVER
REACH THAT KIND OF POPULARITY VIEWING-WISE AS FOOTBALL OR EVEN
BASEBALL OR BASKETBALL HERE. >> YEAH, I THINK IT WILL,
THOUGH. LOOK, WE'VE GOT -- WORLD CUP'S
COMING. >> Jimmy: UH-HUH.
>> TO AMERICA. WE'RE GOING TO BE HOSTING.
THE WORLD GAME IS GOING TO BE ON OUR FRONT PORCH IN 2026.
THAT'S GOING TO BE HUGE. UNTIL THEN, I MEAN, LOOK.
WE'VE JUST GOT TO BE PUTTING A BETTER PRODUCT ON THE PITCH.
MLS SOCCER HAS GOT TO BE A LITTLE BETTER PRODUCT SO YOU'RE
GOING TO GET MORE VIEWERSHIP. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S GOING TO
GET PAST FOOTBALL ACTION BASKETBALL.
BUT IT'S HOVERING RIGHT AROUND JUST OUTSIDE OF HOCKEY AND
BASEBALL. IT'S ON ITS WAY UP.
YOUTH SOCCER, YOU SEE IT ALL OVER THE PLACE, KIDS ARE PLAYING
SOCCER MORE THAN ANYTHING. >> Jimmy: ARE THE KIDS EXCITED
ABOUT YOU BEING PART OWNER ABOUT A SOCCER TEAM?
>> HELL, YEAH. THEY DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT
THEIR DAD HAS AN OWNER'S SUITE. THEY WANT TO BE ON THE PITCH,
THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT NICE SEATS UP TOP, THEY WANT TO BE ON THE
FIELD. >> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF ON THE
FIELD, YOU'VE GOT THE SUPER BOWL, THE DORITOS COMMERCIAL
WHICH WE'RE GOING TO SHOW -- >> COSTARRING, SIR.
>> Jimmy: FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE A PART OF THAT WITH YOU.
WHO ARE YOU ROOTING FOR? EVERYBODY GIVES PICKS AND THE
PICKS DON'T MEAN MUCH. WHO DO YOU WANT TO WIN THE SUPER
BOWL? YOU'VE GOT CHIEFS AND BUCCANEERS
IN IT. >> THE INCREDIBLE SUBPLOT STORY
THAT'S GOING ON IN FRONT OF OUR EYES THAT HAS ALREADY BECOME
MORE MAGNIFICENT THAN MOST EVERYONE EVEN IMAGINED IS TOM
BRADY LEADING THE BUCCANEERS TO A SUPER BOWL WIN.
>> Jimmy: IT'S CRAZY. >> JUST GETTING THEM TO THE
PLAYOFFS, THAT WAS ONE. HIS OLD TEAM DOESN'T MAKE IT.
WINNING THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP. DO WHAT?
THAT'S ENOUGH. HE'S NOT GOING TO DO THAT -- HE
DID THAT. NOW HE'S IN THE SUPER BOWL,
WHAT? EXCEEDED EXPECTATIONS ALL THE
WAY. 43 YEARS YOUNG.
DO WE BELIEVE IT? IS HE GOING TO PROVE TO US THAT
YOU SHOULD BELIEVE IN HOW INCREDIBLE AND AWESOME SOMEONE
ACTUALLY CAN BE AT SOMETHING FOR HOW LONG?
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW TOM BRADY AT ALL, HAVE YOU MET HIM?
>> I MET HIM. I DID AN INTERVIEW WITH HIM IN
"INTERVIEW" MAGAZINE ABOUT NINE YEARS AGO, 2012.
I REMEMBER A FEW THINGS HE SAID THAT WERE VERY COOL.
I SAID, TOM BRADY, WHO IS TOM BRADY?
WHAT DOES TOM BRADY DO ON THE FIELD WHEN TOM BRADY IS HIS BEST
AS A QUARTERBACK? HE IMMEDIATELY SAID,
ANTICIPATION. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
HE GOES, WHEN THE BALL'S SNAPPED IN MY HAND, BEFORE I'VE EVEN
TAKEN A STEP BACK INTO THE POCKET, I ALREADY KNOW IF IT'S A
COMPLETED PASS, IF IT'S A FIRST DOWN, WHAT THE NEXT PLAY'S GOING
TO BE. IT'S ANTICIPATION.
THE GAME MOVES SO SLOW, I SEE WHERE IT'S GOING.
I SAID, TOM BRADY AT HIS WORST, WHAT DOES TOM BRADY DO AT HIS
WORST? HE GOES, WE'RE UP 28-3, I GOT A
DOWN-AND-OUT PATTERN IN THE THIRD QUARTER, AND RIGHT BEFORE
I RELEASE IT, I HESITATE IN MY MIND AND SAY, OH, IF YOU MISS
IT, MISS IT TO THE OUTSIDE SO IT CAN BE INCOMPLETE.
THAT'S WHEN I THROW AN INTERCEPTION.
>> Jimmy: INTERESTING. VERY INTERESTING.
I FEEL LIKE I HAVE THAT ABILITY THAT THINGS SLOW DOWN WHEN I
EAT. [ LAUGHTER ]
LIKE WHEN I SEE THE VARIOUS COURSES COME IN.
APPETIZERS COME AND I KNOW, YOU KNOW -- I POSITION MYSELF NEAR
THE DRESSING. >> YEAH, YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I GUESS WHAT I'M
SAYING IS I HAVE A LOT IN COMMON WITH TOM BRADY.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> I'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT, YOU
AND TOM. >> Jimmy: MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY IS
WITH US. HE'S GOT A DORITOS COMMERCIAL
COMING UP, I AM IN IT WITH HIM. WE'LL SHOW THAT WHEN WE COME
BACK, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK.
KATHRYN HAHN AND MUSIC FROM RHYE COMING UP.
WE ARE HERE WITH OUR OLD PAL MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY.
YOU STARTED YOUR CAREER, YOUR PROFESSIONAL CAREER, IN
ADVERTISING, CORRECT? >> YES.
>> Jimmy: YES. >> I DID, ACTUALLY, JIMMY.
I WAS ADVERTISING AND SELLING TUXEDOS FOR AL'S FORMALWEAR,
SIR. >> Jimmy: AL'S FORMALWEAR.
I FEEL EVERY TOWN HAS AN AL'S FORMALWEAR, RIGHT?
>> RIGHT NEXT TO THE OLAN MILLS PHOTOGRAPHY SHOP.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS RIGHT ON, YEAH.
THAT'S LIKE -- YEAH. AND JUST ACROSS FROM THE MALL
THAT HAS THE CHESS KING. >> AND SPENCER'S.
>> Jimmy: AND SPENCER GIFTS, THAT'S RIGHT.
>> OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DID YOU DO FOR AL'S?
>> WELL, I POSED IN A BEAUTIFUL TUXEDO.
>> Jimmy: UH-HUH. >> VERY NOISE AND COIFED.
LOOKED OVER THE CAMERA, AS IF I DIDN'T KNOW THE CAMERA WAS ON
ME, AS OLAN WOULD NOT LET YOU DO.
HAD MY HAND OVER THE CUMMERBUND, LOOKING ACROSS THE HORIZON, I
GUESS LOOKING LIKE, YOU GOT A PROM COMING UP OR GO TO THE
BALL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL AL'S AND WEAR THIS TUX.
[ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TUXES WE
SOLD. I DO KNOW, UNLIKE TODAY, IF I DO
ONE OF THOSE ADS, I USUALLY SAY, HEY, I'M TAKING THE TUX HOME.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. >> AL DIDN'T LET ME TAKE THAT
TUX HOME, I HAD TO TAKE THAT TUX OFF, HAND IT BACK, I NEVER HAD A
TUX. >> Jimmy: I WONDER WHO THE NEXT
GUY TO WEAR MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY'S TUXEDO WAS,
PROBABLY SOME 17-YEAR-OLD WHO LOST HIS VIRGINITY IN IT LATER.
[ LAUGHTER ] THEN DID YOU CONTINUE MODELING?
WAS THAT SOMETHING THAT YOU DID MUCH OF?
>> YOU KNOW, I -- RIGHT AFTER THAT, AFTER AL'S, MY MODELING
CAREER KIND OF TOOK OFF. >> Jimmy: OH.
>> IT WAS A HAND MODELING CAREER, ACTUALLY.
>> Jimmy: FOR REAL? >> I HAD AN AGENT -- YES.
>> Jimmy: YOU DO HAVE NICE HANDS.
WHY DO YOU HAVE NICE HANDS? THAT'S RIDICULOUS, THAT'S
ENOUGH. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> WHAT THE HELL'S UP WITH THAT, RIGHT?
I GET THIS AGENT, DAWN ADAMS IN AUSTIN, TEXAS.
TALKING ABOUT GETTING ACTING JOBS, MODELING JOBS.
SHE GOES, YOU HAVE NICE HANDS. I GO, THANK YOU.
SHE GOES, QUIT BITING YOUR NAILS, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET
YOU A NICE HAND MODELING JOB. I QUIT BITING MY NAILS THAT DAY,
1989. THE VANITY AND COMMERCE
POSSIBILITIES OF MY HAND WITH UNCHEWED NAILS EXCITED ME YISHT
I'VE GOTTEN TWO HAND MODELING JOBS AND GOTTEN PAID JUST OVER
$300 FOR BOTH OF THEM IN THE LAST 29 YEARS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: NICE.
WELL. YEAH.
YOU COULD BE THE ALLSTATE GUY, YOU KNOW?
THIS COULD BE ANOTHER THING FOR YOU.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER THIS, BUT THIS SUPER BOWL
COMMERCIAL THAT WE DID IS NOT THE FIRST COMMERCIAL WE'VE DONE
TOGETHER. >> V-U-L-C-A-N.
>> WHAT IS IT? >> VULCAN.
>> COME OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, COME SEE US, VULCAN VIDEO.
IF YOU DO NOT, YOU'RE OUT OF YORE VULCAN MIND.
>> IF YOU DO NOT, YOU WILL DIE. >> MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU.
>> THAT'S A DIFFERENT MOVIE. >> YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THIS MOVE. VULCAN VIDEO.
>> VULCAN VIDEO! ANYTHING ELSE WOULD BE ILL
ILLOGICAL! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH. >> IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY --
VULCAN BOUGHT TWO 60-SECOND SPOTS IN THE SUPER BOWL THAT
YEAR. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. AND AS A RESULT, I THINK THEY
JUST WENT OUT OF BUSINESS. SADLY, THEY DID JUST GO OUT OF
BUSINESS. BUT THAT WAS FUN.
THIS WILL BE OUR SECOND SUPER BOWL -- OR SECOND COMMERCIAL
TOGETHER. I WOULD LOVE TO BE IN THE BACK
SEAT OF THOSE LINCOLN COMMERCIALS, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE STILL
DOING THOSE. I FEEL IF YOU KEPT CUTTING TO ME
IN THE BACK, I COULD ADD SOME STUFF TO IT.
>> YOU'RE BACK THERE WRITING THAT NEXT CHAPTER WE'RE GOING TO
PLUG IN MY BOOK, THAT WE'RE GOING TO GET ON YOUR SHOW, I'M
GOING TO INTERVIEW YOU ON THAT, ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU'RE IN THE
DRIVER'S SEAT LOOKING IN THE REAR-VIEW MIRROR, I'M IN THE
BACK SEAT, YOU'RE IN THE BACK SEAT -- I LIKE IT.
>> Jimmy: I LOVE IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I KNOW YOU DON'T, BUT I THINK OF US AS A TEAM.
[ LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> Jimmy: SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK
AT OUR LATEST COLLABORATION. YOU WILL SEE THIS ON SUPER BOWL
SUNDAY, AND YOU'RE ALSO GOING TO SEE IT NOW.
THIS IS A DORITOS 3D CRUNCH SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL.
>> LATELY, I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING QUITE LIKE MYSELF.
LIFE USED TO FEEL -- FULLER. >> MATTHEW?
♪ I WANT TO BREAK FREE >> MATTHEW?
>> SOME DAYS ARE HARDER THAN OTHERS.
♪ I WANT TO BREAK FREE >> NO, NO, NO!
>> IT'S LIKE I USED TO BE ON SOLID GROUND.
>> PLEASE WELCOME MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY!
DID YOU DRIVE HERE? OR DID YOU TRAVEL BY FAX?
♪ I WANT TO BREAK FREE >> THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY TO
GET BACK. ♪ I WANT TO BREAK FREE
♪ THIS TIME I KNOW IT'S FOR REAL ♪
♪ I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE GOD KNOWS GOD KNOWS I WANT ♪
[ LAUGHTER ] >> DORITOS, NOW IN 3D.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: MATTHEW, WELL DONE.
MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY. THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME A PART
OF YOUR LIFE. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
WE'LL BE BACK. >> JUST KEEP DOING IT, JIMMY,
APPRECIATE IT. SEE YOU NEXT TIME, SIR.
>> Jimmy: WE'LL BE BACK WITH KATHRYN HAHN.
THANKS, MATTHEW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪ >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE
SHOW. MUSIC FROM RHYE IS ON THE WAY.
OUR NEXT GUEST PLAYS A WACKY, NOSY, AND POSSIBLY EVEN
SUPERNATURAL TV NEIGHBOR ON THE WEIRDEST SHOW ON TV, MARVEL'S
"WANDAVISION," NEW EPISODES COME OUT FRIDAYS ON DISNEY PLUS.
PLEASE WELCOME KATHRYN HAHN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HI, KATHRYN. HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M SO OKAY, HOW ARE YOU? >> Jimmy: I'M DOING GOOD.
DO YOU KNOW MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY AT ALL?
>> I DID MY FIRST MOVIE WITH MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY, "HOW TO
LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS." THAT WAS MY FIRST FILM.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, KATE
HUDSON. DID YOU HANG OUT OR ONE OF THOSE
DEALS WHERE YOU DIDN'T HAVE A TON OF INTERACTION?
>> NO, I DID HANG OUT. I REMEMBER BEING SO BLOWN AWAY.
IT WAS THE FIRST STAR-STAR THAT I WAS EVER AROUND.
AND I REMEMBER WE WENT -- THERE WAS SOME LIKE -- ALL OF US HUNG
OUT BY SOME LAKE, IT WAS SO GORGEOUS.
WE SHOT IT IN TORONTO. AND I REMEMBER, YOU KNOW, WE HAD
PASTA, IT WAS LIKE EVERYBODY HANGING OUT.
THESE PEOPLE WERE SO BEAUTIFUL. I'D NEVER SEEN REAL-LIFE PEOPLE
THAT BEAUTIFUL, YOU KNOW, IN REAL LIFE BEFORE.
[ LAUGHTER ] LIKE A HUMAN.
I REMEMBER WE WERE ALL SUPPOSED TO CHANGE INTO OUR BATHING
SUITS. AND I CAME DOWNSTAIRS AND KATE
WAS LIKE, YOU NEED TO CHANGE INTO YOUR BATHING SUIT NOW.
AND I GO, OH, THIS IS MY BATHING SUIT.
SHE'D NEVER SEEN A TANKINI BEFORE, I GUESS.
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT, EXACTLY? DESCRIBE THE TANKINI.
>> OKAY, I LOVE A TANKINI. IT'S A BIKINI, BUT JUST WITH A
LITTLE BIT MORE COVERAGE. BASICALLY YOU HAVE A STRIP OF
SKIN BETWEEN THE TOP AND THE BOTTOM.
AND THERE ARE A LOT OF STRING BIKINIS, I GUESS, AROUND THAT
PARTICULAR PARTY, AND I HAD A VERY SENSIBLE LAND'S END,
PROBABLY, TANKINI. [ LAUGHTER ]
WHICH I LOVED. I'M FROM THE MIDWEST, GUYS, WHAT
ARE YOU GOING TO DO? >> Jimmy: YEAH.
WAS MATTHEW WEARING A STRING BIKINI AT THIS PARTY?
>> WHAT IF HE WAS WEARING A TANKINI?
[ LAUGHTER ] I ALSO REMEMBER BEING VERY PROUD
OF THE FACT THAT I WAS IN A PART, IN THE OEUVRE OF MATTHEW
McCONAUGHEY, WHICH IS SO BRILLIANT.
BEING SO GRATEFUL TO BE A PART OF HIS MOVIES.
FEW MOVIES IN WHICH HE ALWAYS SEEMED TO BE, IN MY MIND OR MY
MEMORY, EATING SHELLFISH WITH HIS FINGERS WITH A PLASTIC BIB
ON SO SEXILY. [ LAUGHTER ]
SEE WHAT I MEAN? ALWAYS KIND OF LIKE --
[ LAUGHTER ] PLASTIC BIB ON, BREAKING OVER
SHELLFISH. >> Jimmy: HE DOESN'T BITE HIS
NAILS BECAUSE HIS HANDS ARE TOO BEAUTIFUL, SO THAT'S HOW HE
KEEPS HIS FINGERTIPS MOIST. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL, FORGET IT. >> Jimmy: KATHRYN, WHAT CAN YOU
TELL US, WHAT ARE YOU LEGALLY ALLOWED TO TELL US ABOUT YOUR
WARK ON "WANDAVISION"? GO AHEAD.
>> I CAN TELL YOU THAT SHE'S A NOSEY NEIGHBOR.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S IT? >> THAT'S ALL -- I CAN SAY THAT
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. >> Jimmy: IS SHE -- IS AGNES,
YOUR CHARACTER, THE VILLAIN OR SOMETIME VILLAIN, SOMETIMES NOT
VILLAIN, AGATHA HARKNESS IN DISGUISE?
WE HAVE THE CLUE THAT PEOPLE KEEP POINTING TO, THAT YOU BOTH
HAVE THAT -- IT'S NOT IDENTICAL BY ANY MEANS BUT YOU BOTH DO
HAVE AN OVAL-SHAPED PIECE OF JEWELRY AT YOUR NECK.
>> OH. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DID YOU JUST -- ARE YOU REJOINING US?
DID YOU JUST RUN TO THE KITCHEN? >> EXCUSE ME, I'M SORRY, I WAS
HAVING A SIP OF MY PIMM'S CUP. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: DO YOU LIKE TO SEE PEOPLE'S THEORYS?
DO YOU GO ONLINE AND READ WHAT THEY THINK IS GOING ON WITH YOUR
CHARACTER IN THE SHOW? >> NOT OFTEN, BECAUSE I DO NOT
REALLY HAVE ACCESS -- I ONLY YESTERDAY BOUGHT MY FIRST --
THIS IS THE TRUTH, YESTERDAY I GOT MY FIRST COMPUTER, EVER.
>> Jimmy: WHAT? >> AND I DON'T HAVE ANY SOCIAL
MEDIA. YOU'RE LOOKING AT SOMEBODY
REALLY OFF THE GRID. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I CAN TELL, BY YOUR CABIN.
YEAH, YEAH. WHAT?
AND THAT HOMEMADE SUN TEA YOU'RE DRINKING.
HOLD ON A SECOND. >> LOWI LOVE A SUN TEA.
>> Jimmy: YOU NEVER, EVER HAD A COMPUTER BEFORE?
>> I DID, MY HUSBAND GAVE ME HIS OLD ONE ONCE, THEN I WAS LIKE, I
DON'T KNOW, WHY DO I NEED IT? I LOVE A HARD COPY.
I NEED MY HIGHLIGHTER, I WANT A PENCIL.
I JUST -- IF YOU HAVE IT ON YOUR PHONE, I ALWAYS FIGURED -- BUT I
HAVE BASICALLY A COMPUTER INTERVENTION, WHERE MY KIDS AND
MY HUSBAND WERE LIKE, MOM. KATHRYN.
YOU NEED TO GET A COMPUTER. YOU CANNOT BE BOTHERING US WITH
THIS NONSENSE ANYMORE. YOU HAVE TO.
>> Jimmy: YES. >> SO I HAD TO -- THIS IS ALL
BRAND-NEW TO ME BECAUSE I'D BEEN DOING IT ON AN iPAD.
>> Jimmy: OH MY GOODNESS. WELL, FIRST OF ALL, WELCOME TO
THE 21st CENTURY. [ LAUGHTER ]
SECONDLY -- >> I DON'T LIKE IT.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW MY WIFE, MOLLY.
MY WIFE MOLLY AND I HAD AN ARGUMENT, I DON'T KNOW IF WE'D
CALL IT AN ARGUMENT, WE HAD A HEATED DISCUSSION THE OTHER DAY
ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT IN AN EMERGENCY SITUATION, SHE CLAIMS
SHE COULD LIFT MY AND UP CARRY ME OUT OF THE HOUSE LIKE A
FIREMAN. AND I DON'T BELIEVE IT, BECAUSE
I AM 70-SOMETHING POUNDS HEAVIER THAN SHE IS.
SO WHAT I WAS WONDERING, AND WE ASKED YOU IF YOU THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT WANT TO GIVE THIS A TRY. DO YOU THINK YOU COULD LIFT YOUR
HUSBAND, ETHAN? >> I THINK I COULD.
I MEAN, I THINK I COULD GIVE IT A TRY, LET'S JUST SAY THAT.
>> Jimmy: IS ETHAN NEARBY? IS HE UNDER THE BED?
>> SANDLER! I'LL GIVE IT A TRY.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, GOOD, THIS WOULD BE GREAT.
NOW I WANT TO SAY, THIS IS NOT -- AND ETHAN, YOU KNOW, HE
LOOKS STRONG. I WAS LOOKING AT PICTURES OF HIM
TODAY. >> OH!
YOU WERE? >> Jimmy: I WAS.
HEY, ETHAN, HOW ARE YOU DOING? >> I'M GREAT, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR BEING A PART OF THIS.
THIS IS NOT JUST LIFT HIM LIKE ONE INCH OFF THE GROUND.
I'D LIKE TO -- I JUST NEED TO SEE THE BOTTOM OF HIS FEET IN
ORDER FOR THIS TO COUNT, OKAY? >> OKAY.
YOU GUYS WILL SEE NOW THAT I AM REALLY JUST DEFINITELY WEARING
JEANS AND NO SHOES. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY, RIGHT. WE KNOW YOUR SECRETS.
>> THIS IS GOING TO BE A BIG DEAL?
>> NO, WE MIGHT LET A FART OUT, WE APOLOGIZE.
>> ETHAN, YOU CAN'T HELP EITHER. YOU KNOW LIKE WHEN THE KIDS ARE
ASLEEP IN THE CAR, YOU HAVE TO CARRY THEM UP?
IT HAS TO BE LIKE THAT. >> OKAY.
READY? >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO.
>> GOT IT! AAHH!
>> Jimmy: WELL. WE DO SEE THE BOTTOMS OF HIS
FEET. >> WAIT, HOLD ON!
>> Jimmy: OKAY, GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY.
>> READY? ONE MORE TRY.
>> Jimmy: YES, YES. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I FEEL LIKE YOU GOT A LITTLE HELP, BUT THAT'S GOOD
ENOUGH. KATHRYN HAHN AND ETHAN,
EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU. THANK YOU BOTH.
NOW DO US A FAVOR -- >> YOUR BACK, THOUGH, FOR REAL,
IS IT OKAY? >> Jimmy: JUMP ON THE BED AND
MAKE LOVE. [ LAUGHTER ]
"WAN DIDVISION" IS ON DISNEY PLUS EVERY FRIDAY.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH MUSIC FROM RHYE!
>>> CORONA HOTLINE? >> HELP, I HAVE AN EMERGENCY, I
ORDERED TOO MANY PIZZAS FOR MY SUPER BOWL DAY MARRIED!
>> SHARE YOUR HASH WAGS FOR CORONA REPLACEMENT AND WE'LL
TRACK YOUR FAVORITES. >> THERE BETTER BE NO PINEAPPLES
IN THOSE PIZZAS! >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL
LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES-BENZ.
THE BEST OR NOTHING. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, IT'S MUSIC
TIME. THIS IS HIS NEW ALBUM, IT'S
CALLED "HOME." WITH THE SONG "BLACK RAIN."
FROM THE MOONLIGHT ROLLERWAY HERE IN LOS ANGELES, RHYE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪
♪ BREAKING WAVES
MAKING WAVES HMMM OH I NEED IT
TURN AROUND REALLY SLOW ♪ ♪ BREATHE SOME AIR
TAKE IN TIME HOLD AROUND YOUR NECKLINE
OH I LOVE MOVING SLOW ♪ ♪ WE'RE IN THE WRONG SEASON
YOU'RE KEEPING TABS ON MY FLAWS ♪
♪ A SLOWER PACE BABE IS THE WAY THAT I LOVE
ALL I NEED ♪ ♪ CAN'T BE LIKE HIM
JUST CAUSE A LITTLE BLACK RAIN ♪
♪ REALLY SLOW WHOO JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING
JUST CAUSE A LITTLE BLACK RAIN ♪
♪ I FEEL THAT SOMEHOW GENTLE RAYS MAKING WAVES
OH IT'S HOW YOU SEED IT TURN AROUND REALLY SLOW ♪
♪ FEEL YOUR HAIR ON MY SKIN FEEL AROUND YOUR
FAULT LINE OH I LOVE MOVING SLOW ♪
♪ IN THE WRONG IN THE STATE OF US
A QUIET SOUND ON MY SHORE ♪ ♪ A SILENT WAVE BABY IS
THE WAY THAT WE PLAY I'M LOVING THIS
DON'T GET ME WRONG ♪ ♪ JUST CAUSE I LOVE A LITTLE
BLACK RAIN YOU KILL ME SOMEHOW ♪ ♪ DON'T GO RUNNING
JUST CAUSE A LITTLE BLACK RAIN
I FEEL YOU SOMEHOW ♪ ♪ OH I FEEL IT A LITTLE PAIN
♪ A SPECIAL MONTAGE A SPECIAL MONTAGE OH ♪
♪ RAIN OH ♪
♪ I'M FAR AWAY BUT I'M HERE
>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS
PRESENTED BY MERCEDES-BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: WE DID IT AGAIN. I WANT TO THANK MATTHEW
McCONAUGHEY. THANKS TO KATHRYN HAHN AND RHYE.
APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. WE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR HIM.
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. I'LL BE RIGHT HERE, WATCHING YOU
SLEEP. GOOD NIGHT.