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>>> THERE ARE MANY THINGS I WISH
FOR THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON.

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00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:16,148
I WISH FOR SEX WITH YOUNG
UKRAINIAN SEASON.

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00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:20,486
I WISH TO GOD THE DILDO STORE
NEXT TO FOUR SEASONS LANDSCAPING

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00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:22,822
WOULD HONOR MY COUPON.
I WISH THE PRESIDENT WOULD PAY

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ME FOR MY SERVICES SO I COULD
STOP DYEING MY HAIR WITH DECK

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VARNISH.
MOSTLY, I WISH THE SIGHT OF A

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CRUCIFIXION DON'T MAKE MY SKIN
BURST INTO FLAMES.

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>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S
"JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"!

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00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,309
TONIGHT, EMILY BLUNT.
KYLE CHANDLER.

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00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:49,048
AND MUSIC FROM STURGILL SIMPSON.
AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!

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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HI THERE, HI EVERYONE,

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00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,453
I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST.
THANKS FOR WATCHING.

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00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:58,257
THANKS FOR -- GUILLERMO, THANK
YOU FOR BEING ON THAT STOOL.

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00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,258
>> Guillermo: YOU'RE WELCOME,
ANY TIME.

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>> Jimmy: HOW'S IT GOING?
>> Guillermo: GOING GREAT.

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00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:04,930
>> Jimmy: ANYTHING INTERESTING
HAPPEN TO YOU THIS AFTERNOON?

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00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:07,800
>> Guillermo: NO, JUST HAVING A
FEW DRINKS, THAT'S IT.

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00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:11,737
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]

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>> Jimmy: DID YOU SEE THE BIG
NEWS TODAY?

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THEY ANNOUNCED THE COLOR OF THE
YEAR.

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AND IT'S NOT TRUMP-FACE
TANGERINE.

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THAT WAS LAST YEAR'S COLOR.
PANTONE HAS ANNOUNCED THEIR

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COLOR OF THE YEAR FOR 2021.
THIS TIME THERE ARE TWO OF THEM.

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DRUMROLL PLEASE?
OH, DRUMMER'S NOT HERE ANYMORE.

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THE COLORS OF THE YEAR ARE
"ULTIMATE GRAY" AND

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"ILLUMINATING," ALSO KNOWN AS
YELLOW.

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PANTONE SAYS THEY CHOSE THIS
COMBO BECAUSE IT GIVES US

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RESILIENCE AND HOPE.
I DON'T KNOW, ALL I THINK ABOUT

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WHEN I SEE THIS IS SOUL CYCLE
THAT I'VE NEVER GONE INTO.

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HOW COULD TWO COLORS BE THE
COLOR OF THE YEAR?

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THAT'S LIKE SAYING THE WINNER OF
THE ELECTION IS JOE BIDEN AND

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DONALD TRUMP -- THEY ARE SAYING
THAT?

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THEY SHOULD STOP.
THE COVID VACCINES WILL BE

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AVAILABLE SOON WHETHER WE WANT
THEM OR NOT, A LOT OF US, TURNS

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OUT, DO NOT.
ACCORDING TO A POLL BY AP, LESS

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THAN HALF OF AMERICANS ARE
PLANNING TO GET THE VACCINE WHEN

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IT COMES OUT.
ONLY 47% OF AMERICANS WANT IT.

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THE OTHER 53% WANT TO STAY HOME
IN SWEAT PANTS FOREVER, I GUESS.

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TO ME THAT'S NUTS.
I'LL TAKE THAT SHOT IN MY

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EYEBALL IF IT MEANS I CAN GO TO
DINNER, I REALLY WILL.

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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
A LOT OF AMERICANS ARE SAYING

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THEY WANT TO WAIT AND SEE, WHICH
IS A STRATEGY THAT WILL RESULT

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IN THE UNNECESSARY DEATH OF A
LOT OF PEOPLE.

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IF THE MAJORITY OF US DON'T GET
IT, IT WON'T WORK AS WE.

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HALF OF US ARE WORRIED ABOUT
PUTTING THE SUBSTANCE IN OUR

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BODIES BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S IT IN.

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YET WE HAVE NO PROBLEM DOWNING
16 OUNCES OF SOMETHING CALLED

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MONSTER ENERGY ASSAULT.
[ LAUGHTER ]

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YEAH, I'LL HAVE A SWIG OF THAT.
SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

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IF YOU ARE IN THE HALF OF
AMERICANS WHO DO WANT THE

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VACCINE, YOU STILL MIGHT NOT BE
ABLE TO GET IT.

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WE LEARNED THIS WEEK THAT OVER
THE SUMMER, THE TRUMP

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ADMINISTRATION PASSED ON THE
CHANCE TO LOCK IN AN ADDITIONAL

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100 MILLION DOSES OF THE PFIZER
VACCINE.

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THEY WILL NOW GO TO OTHER
COUNTRIES.

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AND WE ARE WAY BEHIND THE REST
OF THE WORLD WHEN IT COMES TO

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STOCK.
THIS IS A CHART OF NATIONAL

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VACCINE SUPPLIES.
YOU CAN SEE BY NOT PREORDERING

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ENOUGH VACCINE, DEALMAKER DON
PUT AMERICA WAY BEHIND CANADA,

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THE UK, AUSTRALIA, AND ALL 27
COUNTRIES IN THE EU.

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AND UNTIL WE GET THE VACCINE, WE
JUST HAVE TO BE CAREFUL.

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WHICH WE ARE NOT.
EVEN PEOPLE WHO ARE BEING

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CAREFUL AREN'T BEING CAREFUL.
HAVE YOU NOTICED THIS?

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SOMEHOW I AM LITERALLY THE ONLY
PERSON ANYONE I KNOW HAS SEEN IN

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MONTHS.
EVERYONE IS LYING.

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[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU ASK YOUR WIFE

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HOW MANY GUYS SHE HAD SEX WITH,
WHATEVER THE NUMBER IS, TRIPLE

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IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]

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WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU --
SOMEONE SAYS, MY SISTER CAME

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OVER, JUST TO DROP SOMETHING
OFF.

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THAT MEANS, MY SISTER LIVES WITH
US NOW.

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[ LAUGHTER ]
SOMEONE TELLS YOU, WE HAD A

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COCKTAIL WITH A COUPLE IN OUR
POD OUTDOORS, WE WERE SOCIALLY

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DISTANCED IN MASKS.
THAT MEANS, EIGHT PEOPLE CAME

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OVER, WE KEPT OUR MASKS ON FOR
SIX MINUTES AND THEN ALL GOT IN

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THE HOT TUB.
[ LAUGHTER ]

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I'M GOING TO SAY, EVEN I HAVE
BEEN LYING.

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I GET TESTED THREE TIMES A WEEK,
FOR WHATEVER REASON, I ALWAYS

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TELL PEOPLE IT'S FOUR.
[ LAUGHTER ]

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I DON'T KNOW WHY I DO IT.
I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT I DO.

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SO TAKE EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN
OF SALT.

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TRUST NO ONE.
THIS IS WHAT THEY'RE DOING IN

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CHINA.
THE CHINESE AREN'T MESSING

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AROUND.
CHINA IS ORDERING CABIN CREWS ON

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CERTAIN FLIGHTS TO NOT USE THE
BATHROOM.

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THEY'RE INSTRUCTING THEM TO WEAR
DIAPERS, FOR REAL.

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THEY'RE RECOMMENDING THEY WEAR
DIAPERS ON ANY FLIGHT TO A

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HIGH-RISK AREA, OR IF YOU ATE AT
SBARRO'S AT THE AIRPORT.

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[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S GOING TO BE SOME CABIN

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SERVICE.
YES, SIR, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK

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WITH YOUR DIET COKE AS SOON AS I
FINISH SOILING MYSELF.

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[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S NOT JUST CHINA.

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IN AMERICA THERE'S A PLANE WHERE
A GUY WEARS DIAPERS.

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IT'S CALLED AIR FORCE ONE, MAYBE
YOU'VE HEARD OF IT?

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[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
DAY 37 OF SQUATTERGATE.

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YELLVIS HAS NOT LEFT THE
BUILDING, THERE'S BEEN NO

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CONCESSION.
OUR DEAREST LEADER HAS LOST ONE

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OF HIS MOST POWERFUL WEAPONS.
YOUTUBE IS TAKING DOWN VIDEOS

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THAT CLAIM THE ELECTION WAS A
FRAUD.

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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
IF PEOPLE WANT TO POST

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CONSPIRACY THEORIES I GUESS
THEY'LL HAVE TO DANCE THEM OUT

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ON TIKTOK, I DON'T KNOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]

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OF COURSE MANY REPUBLICANS ARE
ANGRY ABOUT THIS.

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SENATOR JOSH HOLLY OF MISSOURI
LAMBASTED YOUTUBE'S DECISION.

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HE CALLED IT AN AFFRONT ON FREE
SPEECH, ALTHOUGH IT WAS HARD TO

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UNDERSTAND WHAT HE WAS SAYING,
HE WAS EATING TIDE PODS AT THE

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TIME.
[ LAUGHTER ]

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I'M A LITTLE MUST HAVED TOO.
IF I CAN'T POST LOW-QUALITY

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VIDEOS FROM MY BASEMENT CLAIMING
A SECRET CABAL OF LIZARD PEOPLE

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RUN BY GEORGE SOROS STOLE THE
ELECTION, WHY DO WE EVEN CALL

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THIS A FREE COUNTRY ANYMORE?
[ LAUGHTER ]

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THE CAPS ARE LOCKED AND LOADED
THIS MORNING.

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THE PRESIDENT WROTE, WISDOM AND
COURAGE.

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WHICH I THINK MEANS HE'S ABOUT
TO GO VISIT THE WIZARD OF OZ.

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[ LAUGHTER ]
TRUMP IS STILL PRESIDENT, WHICH

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MEANS THAT MIKE PENCE IS STILL
VICE PRESIDENT AND HAS 41 MORE

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DAYS OF KISSING ASS.
>> PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP

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DESERVES HIS DAY IN COURT.
THE SUPREME COURT.

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>> Jimmy: OH, THAT COURT.
WHY DOES HE DELIVER EVERY LINE

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LIKE HE'S DONE A PERSONAL INJURY
ATTORNEY COMMERCIAL?

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[ LAUGHTER ]
ATTORNEYS FOR DONALD TRUMP ARE

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NOW A COMBINED 1 FOR 56 IN
COURT.

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TRUMP'S TEAM HAS SO MANY LOSSES,
THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT CALLING

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THEMSELVES THE NEW YORK JETS
FROM NOW ON.

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[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
AGAIN, WE MISSED THE DRUMMER.

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THE PRESIDENT SAYS HIS LATEST
CASE, THE ONE THAT MAY BE HEADED

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TO THE SUPREME COURT, THIS IS
THE BIG ONE.

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BASICALLY, TEXAS AND 17 OTHER
STATES THAT ALSO HAPPEN TO BE

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REPUBLICAN LED, ARE TRYING TO
GET THE SUPREME COURT TO THROW

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OUT THE RESULTS IN WISCONSIN,
GEORGIA, MICHIGAN, AND

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PENNSYLVANIA, FOUR STATES TRUMP
LOST.

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THEY WANT THE COURT TO BLOCK
CERTIFICATION IN THOSE STATES,

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WHICH WOULD PUSH BIDEN BELOW 270
DELEGATES WHICH KICK THE

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00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,891
ELECTION TO CONGRESS, WHERE
REPUBLICANS COULD HAND IT TO

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00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:07,625
TRUMP.
IN OTHER WORDS, 17 RED STATES

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00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:11,229
ARE SUING TO OVERTURN THE
ELECTION IN OTHER STATES.

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NOT EVEN THEIR OWN STATES.
THIS IS LIKE IF YOU COMPLAINED

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ABOUT THE FOOD IN A RESTAURANT
THAT IS 900 MILES AWAY.

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IF BY SOME CHANCE THE CASE
ACTUALLY DOES MAKE IT TO THE

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00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:24,376
HIGHEST COURT IN THE LAND, TRUMP
HAS ASKED SENATOR TED CRUZ TO

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ARGUE IT ON HIS BEHALF.
I DON'T THINK EVEN TOM CRUISE

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COULD WIN THIS CASE.
[ LAUGHTER ]

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TED CRUZ CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.
THIS IS A LAST-DITCH

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EMBARRASSING AND GENUINELY
DESPICABLE ATTEMPT TO GO -- MAKE

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AN END RUN AROUND DEMOCRACY.
WHILE I DISAGREE WITH TED CRUZ

146
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ON PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING, TO
HIS CREDIT, HE WAS FORTHCOMING

147
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:48,199
ON THE SUBJECT OF HIS FUTURE
CLIENT, DONALD TRUMP.

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00:07:48,269 --> 00:07:52,270
>> I'M GOING ON TELL YOU WHAT I
REALLY THINK OF DONALD TRUMP.

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00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:56,942
THIS MAN IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR.
HE DOESN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

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00:07:56,944 --> 00:08:00,612
BETWEEN TRUTH AND LIES.
HE LIES PRACTICALLY EVERY WORD

151
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:09,354
THAT COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH.
AND IN A PATTERN THAT I THINK IS

152
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:12,491
STRAIGHT OUT OF A PSYCHOLOGY
TEXTBOOK.

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00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:14,359
HIS RESPONSE IS TO ACCUSE
EVERYBODY ELSE OF LYING.

154
00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:17,362
>> Jimmy: OH, WAIT.
I'M BEING TOLD THAT WAS BEFORE

155
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,830
HIS SPINE REMOVAL SURGERY.
[ LAUGHTER ]

156
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:23,101
THAT WAS 2016.
THAT WAS WHEN TRUMP WAS

157
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,970
DISHONEST, NOW DONALD TRUMP IS
HONEST.

158
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:29,107
FOR AS MUCH MONEY AS HE TAKES
FROM THE NRA YOU'D THINK TED

159
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:31,976
CRUZ WOULD HAVE SOME IDEA HOW TO
STICK TO HIS GUNS, BUT HE

160
00:08:32,046 --> 00:08:33,178
DOESN'T.
[ LAUGHTER ]

161
00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:37,115
TRUMP, OF COURSE, FAMOUSLY
CALLED TED CRUZ'S WIFE UGLY, HE

162
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,384
SUGGESTED HIS FATHER HAD
SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE

163
00:08:38,452 --> 00:08:41,853
ASSASSINATION OF JFK, MAY HAVE
EVEN QUESTIONED THE INTEGRITY

164
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:45,723
HELD BY TED HIMSELF.
>> I'VE MET PEOPLE THAT ARE MUCH

165
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:50,129
TOUGHER THAN TED CRUZ.
BUT I'VE NEVER, EVER MET ANYBODY

166
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:54,133
THAT LIED LIKE HIM.
THIS GUY LIES SO MUCH.

167
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,602
LYING TED CRUZ.
HE WALKS IN, BIBLE HELD HIGH,

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00:08:56,604 --> 00:09:00,605
PUTS IT DOWN, GOES OVER HERE,
AND HE STARTS LYING MORE THAN

169
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:05,344
ANY HUMAN BEING I'VE EVER SEEN
IN MY LIFE.

170
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:08,079
LYIN' TED.
LYIN' TED.

171
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:12,284
ONE OF THE BIGGEST LIARS I'VE
EVER SEEN IN MY WIFE.

172
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,819
LYING, LYING, LYIN' TED.
LYIN' TED, BOO MANY.

173
00:09:14,889 --> 00:09:22,294
YOU HAVE TO SPELL IT RIGHT.
L-Y-I-N APOSTROPHE, LYIN' TED.

174
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:24,630
>> Jimmy: YES, AND HE WILL BE
REPRESENTING ME IN FRONT OF THE

175
00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,498
SUPREME COURT.
[ APPLAUSE ]

176
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:30,436
A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE WONDERING
WHY TED CRUZ WOULD EVEN DO THIS.

177
00:09:30,504 --> 00:09:32,370
I HAVE A THEORY.
I THINK TED CRUZ IS GOING TO GO

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00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:40,712
TO THE SUPREME COURT AND PULL A
FULL NICOLE KIDMAN IN "THE

179
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,514
UNDOING" ON HIM.
TED CRUZ STILL WANTS TO BE

180
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:43,715
PRESIDENT.
HE HASN'T GIVEN THAT DREAM UP.

181
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:47,385
HIS PLAN IS TO PRESENT HIMSELF
AS A SCHOLARLY FRIEND OF DONALD

182
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:52,257
TRUMP, AND THEN WHEN HE RUNS
AGAIN IN 2024, TRUMP WILL BE IN

183
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,458
PRISON.
IF THEY LET TRUMP HAVE A PHONE,

184
00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:57,529
HE'LL BE TWEETING HIS BIG ORANGE
ASS OFF TRYING TO GET TED

185
00:09:57,598 --> 00:10:00,666
ELECTED BECAUSE HE'LL THINK TED
CRUZ IS GOING TO WAVE HIS MAGIC

186
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:04,135
PRESIDENT WAND AND LET HIM OUT.
IN 2028, TRUMP WILL RUN AGAINST

187
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:08,474
TED CRUZ AND CALL HIM A LYING
LITTLE BITCH AGAIN, AND WE'LL GO

188
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:11,410
THROUGH THIS WHOLE -- IT'S TOUGH
FOR THE TRUMPERS TO ACCEPT THE

189
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:15,480
RESULTS OF THIS ELECTION.
THEY WERE PROMISED, YOU KNOW --

190
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:18,016
TRUMP SAID YOU'RE GOING TO GET
TIRED OF WINNING.

191
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:22,221
AND INSTEAD WE'RE ALL TIRED OF
WHINING.

192
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,556
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHEN THE LEGAL FIGHT DOESN'T PAN

193
00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:28,827
OUT LIKE THEY HOPE IT WILL, I
KNOW EVERY ONE OF TRUMP'S MOST

194
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:32,564
DIE-HARD SUPPORTERS WILL BE
CLAMORING FOR ONE OF THESE.

195
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:34,999
>> I'M THE INVENTOR OF MY
PILLOW.

196
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:38,904
THANKS TO YOUR SUPPORT IT'S
BECOME THE GREATEST PILLOW IN

197
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,306
HISTORY.
JUST ASK DONALD J. TRUMP.

198
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:47,112
>> MIKE LINDELL OF MY PILLOW,
BOY, DO YOU SELL THOSE PILLOWS

199
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,581
WHAT A GUY.
I'VE INVENTED A NEW PILLOW

200
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:52,383
DESIGNED TO GET US THROUGH THE
NEXT FOUR YEARS.

201
00:10:52,453 --> 00:10:56,922
MY PILLOW SLUMBER SACK.
A BIGLY BODY-SIZED PILLOW MADE

202
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,726
IN MY HOME STATE OF MINNESOTA.
HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.

203
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:04,596
UNZIP THE SIDE SEAM AND CLIMB
INTO THE HOLLOW CHAMBER IN THE

204
00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:06,532
CENTER.
YOU'LL BE CUSHIONED BY COOL,

205
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:10,469
BREATHABLE FILLING.
EVERY MY PILLOW SLUMBER SACK

206
00:11:10,471 --> 00:11:17,008
COMES INFUSED WITH PROPOFOL,
TIME RELEASED TO KEEP YOU

207
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:23,015
IGNORANT FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THE
PHONY JOE LYING PRESIDENCY.

208
00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:27,885
GET IN LINE TO VOTE FOR THE
DONALD IN 2024.

209
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:33,158
>> ARE YOU [ BLEEP ] KIDDING ME?
>> ORDER THE MY PILLOW SLUMBER

210
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,626
SACK FOR THREE EASY PAYMENTS OF
$19.95.

211
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:43,235
CALL NOW AND GET A SUPER
ABSORBENT MEGA DIAPER ABSOLUTELY

212
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:47,038
FREE.
♪ TAKE IT FROM A GUY WHO USED TO

213
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:49,641
SMOKE CRACK ♪
♪ AND CLIMB ON INTO A SLUMBER

214
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:50,909
SACK ♪
>> Jimmy: LOOKS COMFORTABLE.

215
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:55,113
I WOULD LIKE TO WISH A HAPPY
FIRST NIGHT OF HANUKKAH TO THOSE

216
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:57,783
CELEBRATING TONIGHT, GUILLERMO.
>> Guillermo: THANK YOU VERY

217
00:11:57,851 --> 00:12:00,919
MUCH.
[ LAUGHTER ]

218
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:06,658
>> Jimmy: WE HAVE A SECRET WITH
DELL

219
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,994
GUILLERMO.
YOU KNOW WHAT HANUKKAH IS?

220
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,862
>> Guillermo: YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS IT?

221
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,198
>> Guillermo: JEWISH HOLIDAY.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT THEY

222
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,335
LIGHT?
>> Guillermo: A CANDLE?

223
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,805
A -- WHATEVER THEY DO.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CALL IT.

224
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,339
IT'S LIKE THIS.
>> Jimmy: GUILLERMO SMOKED A

225
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,741
JOINT IN THE PARKING LOT THIS
AFTERNOON.

226
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:30,682
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
TO CELEBRATE HANUKKAH.

227
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,750
>> Guillermo: I DID, YES.
>> Jimmy: WILL THIS BE GOINGS-ON

228
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,687
FOR SEVEN MORE NIGHTS?
>> Guillermo: NO, JUST TONIGHT.

229
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,622
>> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO

230
00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:40,892
BE PROTECTING ME HERE, NO?
>> Guillermo: NO, THAT WAS ON MY

231
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:41,826
BREAK.
>> Jimmy: THAT WAS ON YOUR

232
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,094
BREAK, ALL RIGHT, IT WAS ON HIS
BREAK.

233
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:48,033
[ LAUGHTER ]
ANYWAY.

234
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,968
HANUKKAH DOESN'T GET THE
ATTENTION THAT CHRISTMAS DOES.

235
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:52,170
NONE OF THE JEWISH HOLIDAYS DO,
REALLY.

236
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:56,041
WE THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE FUN TO
PLAY A GAME TONIGHT TO SHINE A

237
00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:59,311
MENORAH ON THEM.
IT'S TIME TO PLAY "JEWISH

238
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,247
HOLIDAY OR PRESCRIPTION
MEDICATION?"

239
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:05,450
THAT'S RIGHT.
LET'S MEET OUR CONTESTANT.

240
00:13:05,519 --> 00:13:07,385
WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
>> LAURIE.

241
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,853
>> Jimmy: I SEE IT ON YOUR
SHIRT.

242
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,523
WHERE ARE YOU FROM, LAURIE?
>> SAN FRANCISCO.

243
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:14,526
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU BEING SAFE?
>> AM I BEING SAFE?

244
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:16,194
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> I BELIEVE I AM.

245
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:18,063
>> Jimmy: VERY GOOD.
ARE YOU JEWISH?

246
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:22,800
>> I COULD BE.
>> Jimmy: WELL --

247
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:27,806
>> SORRY ABOUT THE NOISE.
I VETCH A LOT.

248
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:30,142
I COULD BE.
>> Jimmy: YOU VETCH.

249
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,878
>> I VETCH A LOT.
>> Jimmy: WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU

250
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,013
A "K."
>> ALL RIGHT.

251
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:37,148
>> Jimmy: THE WAY THIS GAME
WORKS IS THIS.

252
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:41,753
I'LL READ THE WORD, YOU TELL ME
IF IT'S A JEWISH HOLIDAY OR A

253
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:42,821
PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION.
>> OH, DAMN.

254
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:45,957
>> Jimmy: IF YOU GET IT RIGHT
ARE YOU WIN A PRIZE.

255
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:49,094
IF YOU DON'T, YOU VETCH.
>> I WILL VETCH.

256
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,296
>> Jimmy: I'VE BEEN PRACTICING
THESE PRONUNCIATIONS SO BEAR

257
00:13:51,364 --> 00:14:02,306
WITH ME.
TUBISHVAT, JEWISH HOLIDAY OR

258
00:14:02,376 --> 00:14:03,708
PRESCRIPTION?
>> I WOULD SAY PROBABLY A JEWISH

259
00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:05,443
HOLIDAY.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS CORRECT,

260
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:11,382
YOU'VE GOT ONE, ONE CANDLE.
ANAKINRA.

261
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:17,589
>> ANAKINRA?
[ TRUCK BACKFIRING ]

262
00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:19,591
>> Jimmy: OH MY GOD, HOLD ON A
MINUTE.

263
00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:21,392
>> I WOULD SAY IT'S PROBABLY A
MEDICATION.

264
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:25,463
>> Jimmy: IT IS CORRECT, A
MEDICATION.

265
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:30,468
WE MAY HAVE TO WEAR MASKS FOR
REASONS OTHER THAN COVID-19.

266
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,605
[ LAUGHTER ]
INVOKANA.

267
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:36,475
>> THAT'S A JEWISH HOLIDAY.
>> Jimmy: NO, THAT'S A DRUG USED

268
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:42,013
TO TREAT TYPE 2 DIABETES.
NEXT ONE, SUKKOT.

269
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:43,415
>> I WANT TO SAY THAT'S A
MEDICATION.

270
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:47,619
>> Jimmy: THAT IS A HOLIDAY.
OH, NO.

271
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:48,754
THE AUTUMN HARVEST.
>> WOW.

272
00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:50,889
>> Jimmy: SIMKATORAH.
>> WOW.

273
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:56,227
WELL.
THAT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE A JEWISH

274
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:56,961
HOLIDAY.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS RIGHT, YES.

275
00:14:57,030 --> 00:15:04,836
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HUMIRA.

276
00:15:04,838 --> 00:15:09,174
>> THAT'S A DRUG.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A DRUG, YES.

277
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,775
PURIM.
>> I WANT TO SAY THAT'S A JEWISH

278
00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:11,576
HOLIDAY.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS RIGHT.

279
00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:18,783
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SHAVOUT.

280
00:15:18,852 --> 00:15:21,519
>> HUH?
>> Jimmy: SHAVUOT.

281
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:22,787
>> THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A
DRUG.

282
00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:30,261
I WANT TO SAY JEWISH HOLIDAY.
>> Jimmy: YES, IT IS.

283
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,396
TARKA.
>> TARKA?

284
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:35,867
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A DRUG.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS A DRUG, THAT

285
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:42,007
IS CORRECT.
TISHABAV.

286
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:47,478
>> NOT SHISHKABOB?
>> Jimmy: NO.

287
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:51,283
>> A JEWISH HOLIDAY?
>> Jimmy: OH, YOU GOT IT,

288
00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:52,350
LAURIE, CONGRATULATIONS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

289
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:55,553
ALL RIGHT, THANKS, LAURIE.
WE'RE GOING TO SEND YOU HOME

290
00:15:55,555 --> 00:16:00,091
WITH A DELICIOUS BOX OF PERK
COSET AND MATZA BALL SOUP.

291
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:05,897
WE'VE GOT A GOOD SHOW TONIGHT.
STURGILL SIMPSON, KYLE CHANDLER,

292
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,132
BE RIGHT BACK WITH EMILY BLUNT
SO STICK AROUND.

293
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,443
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪

294
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:21,379
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK.
TONIGHT, THE ALWAYS CHARISMATIC

295
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:25,383
KYLE CHANDLER IS WITH US.
THEN LATER, HE IS GREAT, HIS

296
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:29,387
ALBUM IS CALLED
"CUTTIN' GRASS VOLUME 1 THE

297
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,522
BUTCHER SHOPPE SESSIONS."
FROM THE STATION INN IN

298
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,725
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE, MUSIC FROM
STURGILL SIMPSON.

299
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:37,128
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
IF YOU WANT TO JOIN

300
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,197
STURGILL AND CROWN ROYAL TO HELP
AMERICA'S FAVORITE BARS, CLUBS,

301
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:41,533
AND STAGES, GO TO
MAINSTREETALLIANCE.ORG.

302
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:44,603
NEXT WEEK, WE'VE GOT NEW SHOWS
WITH VIOLA DAVIS, KAWHI LEONARD,

303
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,138
CAREY MULLIGAN, DAVEED DIGGS,
CHRISTIAN SERRATOS,

304
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:51,476
ALANIS MORRISETTE WITH MUSIC
FROM SABRINA CLAUDIO, LEWIS

305
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:52,944
CAPALDI, AND THE BIRD & THE BEE
FEATURING DAVE GROHL.

306
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:56,081
AND ON MONDAY, TAYLOR SWIFT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

307
00:16:56,149 --> 00:17:01,019
PLEASE JOIN US FOR THAT.
OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT YOU KNOW

308
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:04,956
AS A GIRL IN A QUIET MARY
POPPINS PLACE ON THE TRAIN WHO

309
00:17:04,958 --> 00:17:07,625
WEARS PRADA.
[ LAUGHTER ]

310
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,026
NEXT, YOU CAN SEE HER STAR
ALONGSIDE JAMIE DORNAN AND

311
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:12,763
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN IN THE MOVIE,
"WILD MOUNTAIN THYME," IT

312
00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:16,500
PREMIERES IN THEATERS AND ON
DEMAND TOMORROW, PLEASE SAY

313
00:17:16,570 --> 00:17:18,703
HELLO TO EMILY BLUNT.
HI, EMILY.

314
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:21,506
>> HI, JIMMY, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU?

315
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:22,641
>> I MISS YOU.
>> MISS YOU TOO.

316
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,576
THIS IS REALLY OUR TIME.
THIS IS THE TIME WHERE WE WOULD

317
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:30,114
PLAY PRANKS ON EACH OTHER AND
HAVE ALL SORTS OF FUN AROUND THE

318
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:31,049
HOLIDAYS.
>> I KNOW.

319
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:33,585
I DO MISS YOUR LITTLE CHRISTMAS
ELF PRANKS.

320
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:36,721
I MISS YOU A LOT.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU IN NEW YORK

321
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:37,922
RIGHT NOW?
AND WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?

322
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:41,259
>> JUST SOME WATER WITH LIME
CORDIAL.

323
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:44,996
>> Jimmy: IT LOOKS DIRTY.
[ LAUGHTER ]

324
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,998
HOW'S EVERYTHING?
HOW'S THE FAMILY DOING?

325
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,401
>> THE FAMILY ARE REALLY GOOD,
REALLY GOOD.

326
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:50,802
WE'RE JUST BACK HOME FOR THE
HOLIDAYS.

327
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:55,607
WE'VE BEEN IN LONDON FOR ABOUT
FIVE MONTHS FOR SOME WORK AND

328
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,676
STUFF, AND TO ACTUALLY BE ABLE
TO --

329
00:17:58,745 --> 00:17:59,811
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
REMEMBER.

330
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:01,546
THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE WAS
MARCH 10th.

331
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:05,082
IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE EVERYONE GOT
LOCKED IN THEIR HOMES.

332
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:08,886
YOU WERE PROMOTING "A QUIET
PLACE 2," WHICH IS GREAT, BY THE

333
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,287
WAY.
AND I'M GLAD THEY PUSHED IT,

334
00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:15,893
BECAUSE THAT IS A MOVIE THAT YOU
WANT TO SEE, I THINK, WITH OTHER

335
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:20,231
PEOPLE, IDEALLY.
AND THEN YOU HAD ANOTHER MOVIE,

336
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,500
RIGHT?
"THE JUNGLE CRUISE" GOT PUSHED

337
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:23,568
AS WELL.
>> YEAH, YEAH.

338
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:28,439
IT WAS A BIT OF A -- WE JUST GOT
BONED FOR BOTH MOVIES.

339
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:31,843
>> Jimmy: YOU DID.
>> AND I HAVE SO MANY GREAT

340
00:18:31,845 --> 00:18:36,581
DWAYNE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON
STORIES THAT I'M JUST GOING TO

341
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,050
PUT ON ICE.
>> Jimmy: HANG ON NO THOSE, GOOD

342
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,251
IDEA.
>> HANG ON TO THOSE.

343
00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:43,388
>> Jimmy: NO ONE WANTS A MOVIE
ABOUT A CRUISE DURING A

344
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,655
PANDEMIC, I THINK.
[ LAUGHTER ]

345
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:47,926
>> I ACTUALLY REMEMBERED THE
LAST SKETCH I DID WITH YOU, WE

346
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:50,929
WERE ON A PLANE.
I JUST THOUGHT, WOW.

347
00:18:50,931 --> 00:18:52,930
THAT WAS JUST PROBABLY NOT THE
RIGHT MOVE.

348
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:53,998
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT.

349
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:55,800
YOU'VE BEEN IN BROOKLYN FOR MOST
OF THIS TIME?

350
00:18:55,869 --> 00:19:00,138
>> WE WERE IN WESTCHESTER FOR
MOST OF IT.

351
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:02,807
>> Jimmy: I SEE, OKAY.
YOU WENT BACK TO VISIT YOUR

352
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,076
FAMILY.
DID YOU STAY WITH YOUR FAMILY OR

353
00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:07,078
GET YOUR OWN PLACE?
>> DO YOU MEAN IN LONDON?

354
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:11,148
>> Jimmy: OH, I DON'T KNOW.
WESTCHESTER I WAS THINKING WAS

355
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:13,018
IN ENGLAND.
NEW YORK?

356
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:17,288
>> NEW YORK, YES.
BUT WE'VE BEEN IN LONDON FROM

357
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,157
AUGUST.
SO WE HAVE HAD OUR OWN PLACE FOR

358
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:22,894
A LITTLE HEALTHY SEPARATION FROM
ALL OF THOSE BLUNTS, YOU KNOW.

359
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:25,763
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW WHY, WHEN
I HEAR WEST OR CHESTER, I THINK

360
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,499
OF ENGLAND.
WHEN I HEAR BLUNT, I THINK OF

361
00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:35,973
GUILLERMO IN THE PARKING LOT.
[ LAUGH TER AND APPLAUSE ]

362
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,642
HOW ARE YOUR PARENTS DOING?
>> THEY'RE GOOD.

363
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:43,047
YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT --
THEY'VE SORT OF FARED PRETTY

364
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:45,517
WELL.
I MEAN, I'M AMAZED THEY DIDN'T

365
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:49,787
DRINK THEMSELVES TO DEATH, YOU
KNOW, BEING QUARANTINED WITH

366
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:51,789
EACH OTHER FOR SO LONG.
BUT -- YEAH.

367
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:55,593
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THEY'RE OKAY?
>> THEY'VE DONE WELL.

368
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,596
THEY'RE SORT OF BEHAVING WITH
ALL OF THE COVID RULES, WHICH

369
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:00,265
I'M GRATEFUL FOR.
>> Jimmy: WHEN YOU BROUGHT THE

370
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:03,935
KIDS, YOUR LITTLE GIRLS, OVER TO
LONDON, DID THEY CONTINUE WITH

371
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,737
ZOOM SCHOOL BACK HOME?
OR -- BECAUSE THAT'S -- THE TIME

372
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:10,208
DIFFERENCE IS TREMENDOUS THERE,
RIGHT?

373
00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:12,277
>> YEAH.
THEY'VE ACTUALLY BEEN IN A

374
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:14,746
PROPER SCHOOL WITH LIKE SCHOOL
UNIFORMS.

375
00:20:14,748 --> 00:20:16,214
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> AND MIRACULOUSLY, THEY'RE

376
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:20,018
SOUNDING QUITE BRITISH.
WHICH I'M COMPLETELY OVER THE

377
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,953
MOON ABOUT.
>> Jimmy: YOU LIKE THAT, YEAH.

378
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:24,822
>> YEAH.
LIKE MY LITTLE ONE SENT ME A

379
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:32,630
VIDEO, WELL, SHE DIDN'T SEND IT,
SOMEONE SENT IT, OF HER SINGING

380
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:35,233
"JINGLE BELLS."
ALMOST LIKE A COCKNEY, LIKE DICK

381
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:39,236
VAN DYKE SINGING.
THE CRAZIEST ACCENT EVER.

382
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:41,706
IT WAS KIND OF FUNNY.
>> Jimmy: I WANTED TO ASK YOU ON

383
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:46,110
THE SUBJECT OF JINGLE BELLS.
WHAT, IN YOUR OPINION, ARE THE

384
00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:47,178
THREE GREATEST CHRISTMAS SONGS
OF ALL TIME?

385
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:51,382
I'M GOING TO ASK TAYLOR SWIFT
THIS QUESTION AS WELL.

386
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,784
THEN MAYBE WE'LL SEE HOW YOU
GUYS COMPARE.

387
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,920
>> YOU'RE EVEN WRITING THEM
DOWN, THIS IS A LOT OF PRESSURE.

388
00:20:55,989 --> 00:20:58,856
>> Jimmy: A LOT OF PRESSURE
HERE.

389
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:03,261
>> I WOULD SAY -- I MEAN, BING
CROSBY'S "WHITE CHRISTMAS" IS

390
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:05,930
PRETTY STUNNING.
>> Jimmy: VERY GOOD, YES.

391
00:21:05,999 --> 00:21:11,402
>> CLASSIC.
"SANTA BABY," EARTHA KITT.

392
00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:16,140
>> Jimmy: EXCELLENT.
>> "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS" BY

393
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:17,408
MARIAH.
>> Jimmy: WOW, ALL RIGHT.

394
00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:20,477
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
MARIAH CAREY MAKES THE LIST.

395
00:21:20,547 --> 00:21:24,282
>> OF COURSE SHE DOES.
ISN'T SHE IN LIKE SOME SEXY

396
00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:25,817
SANTA SUIT?
OF COURSE SHE MAKES THE LIST.

397
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,952
>> Jimmy: YES.
DURING THIS MONTH SHE IS IN A

398
00:21:28,021 --> 00:21:31,622
SEXY SANTA SUIT AT ALL TIMES.
[ LAUGHTER ]

399
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:34,358
IT'S SOME KIND OF WORLDWIDE LAW
NOW.

400
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:38,095
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A BREAK.
WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'RE GOING

401
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:42,233
TO SEE A CLIP FROM EMILY BLUNT'S
MOVIE "WILD MOUNTAIN THYME"

402
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:45,103
AFTER THIS, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Dicky: PORTIONS OF "JIMMY

403
00:21:45,105 --> 00:21:47,705
KIMMEL LIVE" ARE BROUGHT TO YOU
BY MY WALGREENS.

404
00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:49,574
THE ALL-NEW EASIER WAY TO SHOP.
SAVE AND STAY WELL.

405
00:21:56,049 --> 00:22:01,051
>>> YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ANTHONY.
>> IT'S MORE THAN LOVE.

406
00:22:01,121 --> 00:22:02,920
>> GO WHILE YOUR DAMN GATES ARE
OPEN.

407
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:06,991
>> I'M NOT GOING TO.
>> IT'S NOT NORMAL.

408
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:08,259
>> I DON'T CARE.
>> YOU'LL NEVER MARRY.

409
00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:12,063
>> NEITHER WILL I, AND HE'LL BE
IN HIS HOUSE AND I'LL BE IN

410
00:22:12,065 --> 00:22:13,531
MINE.
>> ROSEMARY!

411
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:18,002
BE QUICK, I NEED TO PEE!
>> Jimmy: THAT'S EMILY BLUNT,

412
00:22:18,071 --> 00:22:23,341
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN, AND A LADY
TO NEEDS TO PEE IN "WILD

413
00:22:23,409 --> 00:22:26,677
MOUNTAIN THYME."
THIS IS A MOVIE THAT YOU HAVE TO

414
00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:31,549
KNOW HOW IT'S SPELLED.
BECAUSE IT'S THYME.

415
00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:35,620
IF YOU HEAR "WILD MOUNTAIN
TIME," YOU MIGHT THINK IT'S A

416
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,955
WHOLE DIFFERENT TYPE OF THINGS.
>> YEAH.

417
00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:51,769
>> Jimmy: THIS IS A ROMANTIC,
DRAMATIC, ROMANTIC HIVE DR

418
00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:53,504
DRAM-COM?
>> A LYRICAL ROMANTIC COMEDY.

419
00:22:53,573 --> 00:23:03,514
I WAS TALKING TO A JOURNALIST
WHO WITH FULL CONFIDENCE SAID

420
00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:07,185
"TH-YME."
I LET IT FLY.

421
00:23:07,187 --> 00:23:09,653
WE LOVED TH-YME.
>> Jimmy: IT MUST BE SOMEONE WHO

422
00:23:09,723 --> 00:23:13,858
DOESN'T DO MUCH COOKING.
HAVE YOU KNOWN CHRISTOPHER

423
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:17,862
WALKEN BEFORE MAKING THIS MOVIE?
>> NO, I MEAN, I'VE COMPLETELY

424
00:23:17,864 --> 00:23:20,731
BEEN BEWITCHED BY CHRISTOPHER
WALKEN DURING THIS EXPERIENCE.

425
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:26,537
I JUST LOVED HIM.
AND HE'S SO SPECIAL AND SORT OF

426
00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:30,408
FRAGILE AND GENTLE.
ACTUALLY, THAT SCENE THAT YOU

427
00:23:30,476 --> 00:23:35,613
JUST SAW WAS MY FIRST DAY
WORKING WITH HIM.

428
00:23:35,681 --> 00:23:40,151
AND HE'S A MAN OF FEW WORDS.
I THINK YOU'VE PROBABLY HAD HIM

429
00:23:40,153 --> 00:23:42,220
ON THE SHOW.
I MEAN, HE'S -- BUT HE'S VERY

430
00:23:42,288 --> 00:23:47,625
FUNNY AND VERY WITTY.
AND -- THESE STORIES HE TELLS

431
00:23:47,627 --> 00:23:51,762
YOU COME OUT OF NOWHERE.
AND HE WAS SORT OF SILENT WITH

432
00:23:51,831 --> 00:23:55,566
ME FOR MOST OF THE DAY, AND ALL
OF A SUDDEN WE HAD TO STOP

433
00:23:55,635 --> 00:23:56,834
FILMING.
WE'RE ACTUALLY SHOOTING ON A

434
00:23:56,902 --> 00:24:00,504
FARM, ABOUT 100 COWS STARTED TO
PASS THROUGH THE BACKGROUND.

435
00:24:00,573 --> 00:24:03,641
THEY HAD TO STOP FILMING.
OUT OF NOWHERE CHRISTOPHER GOES

436
00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:08,245
TO ME -- I'M NOT GOING TO DO A
BAD IMPRESSION OF HIM, ALTHOUGH

437
00:24:08,314 --> 00:24:11,049
YOU CAN'T HELP BUT SPEAK IN HIS
CADENCE.

438
00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:15,053
IT'S NOT MY CHRISTOPHER WALKEN.
OUT OF NOWHERE HE GOES, "YOU

439
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:21,725
KNOW COWS ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS
ANIMAL ON PLANET EARTH."

440
00:24:21,795 --> 00:24:24,128
AND I WENT, WHAT?
AND HE GOES, "YEAH, THEY LOOK AT

441
00:24:24,197 --> 00:24:28,332
YOU, THEN THEIR EYES TURN TO
SLITS, YOU KNOW THEY WANT TO

442
00:24:28,334 --> 00:24:32,803
KILL YOU."
AND I WENT, "CHRISTOPHER, HAVE

443
00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:34,405
YOU HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH A
COW?"

444
00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:38,075
AND HE JUST LOOKED AT ME AND HE
WENT, "BUFFALO."

445
00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:44,282
THAT WAS IT, THAT'S ALL HE SAID.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

446
00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:48,419
I'M DESPERATE TO KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED AND HE WILL NOT TELL ME

447
00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:51,822
ANY MORE.
I HAVE TO KNOW.

448
00:24:51,891 --> 00:24:53,290
>> Jimmy: THAT'S BREPRETTY GOOD
YEAH.

449
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:59,030
I HAVE TO SAY, WHEN I SAW THIS
MOVIE, AT FIRST I DIDN'T KNOW

450
00:24:59,032 --> 00:25:01,366
WHERE IT WAS SET.
IT IS MAYBE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL

451
00:25:01,434 --> 00:25:06,504
PLACE I'VE EVER SEEN, EVER.
I MEAN, IT IS JUST UNBELIEVABLY

452
00:25:06,506 --> 00:25:08,372
BEAUTIFUL.
YOU SHOT IT IN THE IRISH

453
00:25:08,441 --> 00:25:10,241
COUNTRYSIDE.
IS THAT A PLACE --

454
00:25:10,309 --> 00:25:13,111
>> WE DID.
>> Jimmy: -- GROWING UP THAT YOU

455
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:15,446
WOULD GO?
>> YOU KNOW, I'D NEVER BEEN TO

456
00:25:15,448 --> 00:25:18,449
THAT SORT OF BEAUTIFUL, RURAL
PART OF IRELAND.

457
00:25:18,518 --> 00:25:20,651
I'D ALWAYS WANTED TO.
AND IT REALLY IS THE MOST

458
00:25:20,653 --> 00:25:23,587
STUNNING COUNTRY EVER.
IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANYWHERE

459
00:25:23,656 --> 00:25:27,324
ELSE ON EARTH.
THE PEOPLE ARE EXTRAORDINARY.

460
00:25:27,393 --> 00:25:29,527
YOU JUST KIND OF DON'T WANT TO
LEAVE.

461
00:25:29,595 --> 00:25:30,861
YOU WANT TO STAY IN THE SPIRIT
OF THAT PLACE.

462
00:25:30,930 --> 00:25:34,866
I MEAN, THE GRASS IS SO GREEN,
YOU WANT TO EAT IT, IT LOOKS SO

463
00:25:34,934 --> 00:25:35,866
NOURISHING.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.

464
00:25:35,935 --> 00:25:38,402
>> IT'S SO FAB.
THE ONLY PLACE I'VE BEEN -- I

465
00:25:38,404 --> 00:25:43,207
WENT TO DUBLIN WHEN I WAS LIKE
14 ON A NETBALL -- NETBALL IS A

466
00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:47,612
SPORT WE PLAY IN ENGLAND, NO ONE
HAS EVER HEARD OF IT IN THE U.S.

467
00:25:47,614 --> 00:25:49,414
>> Jimmy: YEAH, WE DON'T HAVE
THAT ONE.

468
00:25:49,482 --> 00:25:54,085
WHAT IS NETBALL?
>> IT'S KIND OF LIKE BASKETBALL,

469
00:25:54,153 --> 00:25:56,353
BUT YOU CAN'T RUN WITH THE BALL.
>> Jimmy: OH, WELL, YOU CAN'T

470
00:25:56,422 --> 00:26:00,491
RUN WITH THE BALL IN BASKETBALL
EITHER, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO

471
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,693
BOUNCE IT.
>> YOU DRIBBLE IT.

472
00:26:02,761 --> 00:26:04,228
YOU CAN MOVE.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE JUST THROWING

473
00:26:04,297 --> 00:26:06,564
IT?
>> YOU GET THROWN THE BALL, AND

474
00:26:06,566 --> 00:26:09,900
YOU CAN DO ONE TWO-STEP, THEN
YOU HAVE TO PASS IT ON BEFORE

475
00:26:09,969 --> 00:26:11,568
YOU TAKE ANOTHER STEP.
>> SEE.

476
00:26:11,638 --> 00:26:12,769
YOU WERE ON THE TEAM?
>> I WAS ON THE TEAM.

477
00:26:12,839 --> 00:26:18,976
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> YEAH, WE WENT TO THE GUINNESS

478
00:26:19,044 --> 00:26:20,978
FACTORY IN DUBLIN.
I WAS 14.

479
00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:24,582
I THINK THAT'S AN APPROPRIATE
AGE TO TAKE SOME KIDS TO A

480
00:26:24,584 --> 00:26:27,651
GUINNESS FACTORY.
[ LAUGHTER ]

481
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,119
>> Jimmy: DID YOU SAMPLE THEIR
WARES?

482
00:26:29,188 --> 00:26:31,856
>> YES.
I THINK WE MUST START VERY YOUNG

483
00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:34,992
IN ENGLAND.
EVEN THE SPORTS TEACHERS WERE UP

484
00:26:34,994 --> 00:26:36,861
FOR IT.
>> Jimmy: SO THEY BROUGHT THE

485
00:26:36,863 --> 00:26:40,998
TEAM OF 14-YEAR-OLDS TO ANOTHER
COUNTRY AND GOT THEM DRUNK.

486
00:26:41,066 --> 00:26:45,470
>> YES.
[ LAUGHTER ]

487
00:26:45,538 --> 00:26:48,673
>> Jimmy: WOW.
I THINK YOU BETTER GET YOUR

488
00:26:48,741 --> 00:26:50,808
DAUGHTERS BACK TO BROOKLYN VERY,
VERY QUICKLY.

489
00:26:50,877 --> 00:26:53,211
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> EXACTLY.

490
00:26:53,279 --> 00:26:54,945
>> Jimmy: WELL, IT'S VERY GOOD
TO SEE YOU.

491
00:26:55,014 --> 00:26:59,016
BY THE WAY, JUST BECAUSE OF
COVID DOESN'T MEAN THERE'S NOT

492
00:26:59,084 --> 00:27:02,954
GOING TO BE A PRANK THIS YEAR.
I WANT TO SAY, I'M GOING TO SEND

493
00:27:03,022 --> 00:27:06,023
JOHN SOME EGGNOG, DON'T DRINK
IT, OKAY?

494
00:27:06,092 --> 00:27:06,757
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHATEVER YOU DO.

495
00:27:06,825 --> 00:27:10,094
>> NO, I WON'T.
NO.

496
00:27:10,162 --> 00:27:14,231
LACED NOG.
>> Jimmy: "WILD MOUNTAIN THYME"

497
00:27:14,233 --> 00:27:16,100
IN THEATERS AND ON DEMAND
TOMORROW.

498
00:27:16,102 --> 00:27:20,237
EMILY BLUNT, EVERYBODY!
GOOD NIGHT, EMILY, THANK YOU.

499
00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:22,973
WE'LL BE BACK WITH KYLE
CHANDLER.

500
00:27:24,243 --> 00:27:29,380
>> GUILLERMO, WHY IS YOUR FOOT
IN MY GOOD SOUP TUREEN?

501
00:27:29,448 --> 00:27:31,649
>> BECAUSE IT IS THURSDAY.
>> SO?

502
00:27:31,717 --> 00:27:34,652
>> MY FOOT ITCHES ON THURSDAYS.
>> WHY DON'T YOU USE MY

503
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:38,322
WALGREENS?
ORDER FOOT CREAM OR SPEAK TO THE

504
00:27:38,391 --> 00:27:39,656
PHARMACIST DIRECTLY FROM THE
APP.

505
00:27:39,726 --> 00:27:41,993
OH, GUILLERMO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

506
00:27:48,668 --> 00:27:51,935
>> Jimmy: KYLE CHANDLER AND
STURGILL SIMPSON ARE ON THE WAY.

507
00:27:52,005 --> 00:27:55,539
FIRST, IT'S THURSDAY NIGHT WHICH
MEANS IT'S TIME TO BLEEP AND

508
00:27:55,608 --> 00:27:58,409
BLUR THE BIG TV MOMENTS OF THE
WEEK WHETHER THEY NEED IT OR

509
00:27:58,477 --> 00:28:02,480
NOT.
IT IS "THIS WEEK IN UNNECESSARY

510
00:28:02,548 --> 00:28:03,814
CENSORSHIP."
>> I BELIEVE THAT TRUMP UNLESS

511
00:28:03,883 --> 00:28:05,949
THE MIDDLE OF THIS, I BELIEVE HE
KNOWS ABOUT IT, I BELIEVE THAT'S

512
00:28:06,019 --> 00:28:10,021
WHY HE HAS SUCH AN UNGLUED
PERSONALITY IS THAT ALIENS HAVE

513
00:28:10,023 --> 00:28:11,822
[ BLEEP ]ED HIM FOR THE LAST
FOUR YEARS.

514
00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:14,024
>> IT'S NOT JUST THAT THE
NUMBERS CAME IN BELOW

515
00:28:14,093 --> 00:28:18,963
EXPECTATIONS, IT'S THAT THEY'RE
WAY TOO LOW TO FILL IN THE HUGE

516
00:28:18,965 --> 00:28:21,298
[ BLEEP ] HOLE THAT WAS DUG
EARLIER THIS YEAR.

517
00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:24,768
>> YOU CAN [ BLEEP ] US.
>> WHERE SHOULD I PUT IT?

518
00:28:24,837 --> 00:28:29,172
>> IF YOU GOING TO [ BLEEP ],
YOU WOULD [ BLEEP ] AINSLEY.

519
00:28:29,242 --> 00:28:31,242
>> SHE WOULD BE MY FIRST
[ BLEEP ].

520
00:28:31,244 --> 00:28:32,510
>> OF COURSE, WE'VE SEEN IT
BEFORE.

521
00:28:32,578 --> 00:28:37,047
>> WE HAVE EVERYTHING MARKED OFF
SO EVERYBODY CAN BE SAFE.

522
00:28:37,116 --> 00:28:40,518
YOU CAN SIT ON SANTA'S [ BLEEP ]
IF YOU WANT TO.

523
00:28:40,586 --> 00:28:43,454
>> TALKING ABOUT THAT, I
[ BLEEP ] MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM

524
00:28:43,522 --> 00:28:46,791
AT TIMES.
>> ONE OF SANTA'S ELVES WAS

525
00:28:46,859 --> 00:28:48,859
ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO [ BLEEP ]
SANTA'S WHAT?

526
00:28:48,861 --> 00:28:57,467
>> HIS [ BLEEP ].
>> SO THEY SAID?

527
00:28:57,537 --> 00:29:02,539
♪ COME OVER HERE LET ME HOLD YOU
CLOSE LET'S SHARE A KISS UNDER

528
00:29:02,608 --> 00:29:05,542
THE MISTLETOE ♪
♪ I HOPE YOU WILL AGREE TO TAKE

529
00:29:05,611 --> 00:29:08,012
A [ BLEEP ] ON ME ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

530
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,347
>> Jimmy: WE'LL BE BACK WITH
KYLE CHANDLER!

531
00:29:17,557 --> 00:29:18,622
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪

532
00:29:18,624 --> 00:29:25,362
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK.
MUSIC AND A BIG SURPRISE FROM

533
00:29:25,431 --> 00:29:26,497
STURGILL SIMPSON IS ON THE WAY.
OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN

534
00:29:26,565 --> 00:29:27,965
EMMY-WINNING ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM
"FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS,"

535
00:29:27,967 --> 00:29:33,104
"BLOODLINE," AND FROM THE MOVIES
TOO.

536
00:29:33,172 --> 00:29:37,374
HIS NEWEST GEORGE CLOONEY'S
"THE MIDNIGHT SKY" PREMIERES

537
00:29:37,443 --> 00:29:41,579
DECEMBER 23rd ON NETFLIX.
PLEASE WELCOME KYLE CHANDLER.

538
00:29:41,581 --> 00:29:42,246
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HI, KYLE.

539
00:29:42,248 --> 00:29:44,314
>> HELLO.
HELLO.

540
00:29:44,383 --> 00:29:45,983
HELLO.
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU?

541
00:29:45,985 --> 00:29:47,718
>> THIS IS VERY INTERESTING.
VERY GOOD, SIR.

542
00:29:47,786 --> 00:29:49,453
HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: I'M GOOD.

543
00:29:49,521 --> 00:29:51,122
YOU'VE GOT THE VOICE OF GOD
RIGHT NOW.

544
00:29:51,190 --> 00:29:52,523
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> AH, REALLY?

545
00:29:52,525 --> 00:29:53,924
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S REALLY
BOOMING.

546
00:29:53,993 --> 00:29:56,127
YOU'VE GOT THE BEARD OF GOD AS
WELL.

547
00:29:56,129 --> 00:29:59,396
IS THAT FOR A ROLE?
OR HAVE YOU JUST --

548
00:29:59,465 --> 00:30:02,132
[ LAUGHTER ]
HAVE YOU GIVEN UP?

549
00:30:02,201 --> 00:30:03,800
>> NO, I JUST FORGOT TO SHAVE
THIS MORNING.

550
00:30:03,870 --> 00:30:09,874
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO, YES, OF COURSE IT'S FOR A

551
00:30:09,876 --> 00:30:10,474
ROLE.
AND I WAS TOLD TO KEEP SOME

552
00:30:10,543 --> 00:30:12,342
STUBBLE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.

553
00:30:12,411 --> 00:30:16,413
>> THEN I DIDN'T HEAR BACK.
AND THE FILM WAS PUSHED DOWN THE

554
00:30:16,482 --> 00:30:18,415
LINE A LITTLE BIT.
AND I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING.

555
00:30:18,417 --> 00:30:21,151
SO I KEPT GROWING IT.
FINALLY I CALLED UP, DO YOU WANT

556
00:30:21,220 --> 00:30:24,288
ME TO JUST GROW IT OUT?
THEY SAID, YEAH, GO AHEAD.

557
00:30:24,290 --> 00:30:27,291
SO THIS IS WHAT IT IS NOW.
I KIND OF LIKE IT.

558
00:30:27,359 --> 00:30:28,625
>> Jimmy: ISN'T IT KIND OF A
WEIRD THING?

559
00:30:28,694 --> 00:30:31,695
I THINK MOST HUMANS DON'T
EXPERIENCE A SITUATION IN WHICH

560
00:30:31,764 --> 00:30:35,966
SOMEBODY ELSE TELLS THEM WHAT
THEIR HAIR SHOULD BE LIKE.

561
00:30:36,035 --> 00:30:38,768
THIS IS WHAT'S GOING TO BE ON
YOUR FACE.

562
00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:43,240
>> IT IS KIND OF -- I'M WAITING
FOR THAT ROLE WHERE SOMEONE

563
00:30:43,242 --> 00:30:45,776
SAYS, YOU NEED TO GAIN 30
POUNDS.

564
00:30:45,778 --> 00:30:46,911
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT NEVER HAPPENS EITHER.

565
00:30:46,979 --> 00:30:51,047
>> Jimmy: WOULD THAT MAKE YOU
HAPPY, OR BUM YOU OUT, KNOWING

566
00:30:51,117 --> 00:30:52,383
YOU'D THEN HAVE TO GET RID OF
IT?

567
00:30:52,451 --> 00:30:54,985
>> I'D BE SO HAPPY.
>> Jimmy: YOU WOULD?

568
00:30:55,053 --> 00:30:56,320
>> I'VE GOT A MENU SET UP IN MY
MIND.

569
00:30:56,322 --> 00:30:59,123
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, YEAH.

570
00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:00,257
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU'RE AWARE OF THIS.

571
00:31:00,326 --> 00:31:04,328
ON THE SUBJECT OF HAIR.
YOUR DIRECTOR AND COSTAR FROM

572
00:31:04,396 --> 00:31:07,598
"THE MIDNIGHT SKY," GEORGE
CLOONEY, WAS HERE LAST WEEK.

573
00:31:07,666 --> 00:31:11,669
AND HE'S USING A FLOWBEE TO GIVE
HIMSELF A HAIRCUT, AND HE'S BEEN

574
00:31:11,671 --> 00:31:14,404
DOING IT, HE SAYS, FOR MANY,
MANY YEARS.

575
00:31:14,473 --> 00:31:20,544
>> YEAH, THAT'S -- UH.
[ LAUGHTER ]

576
00:31:20,613 --> 00:31:24,414
I MEAN, HE'S -- I MEAN, I DON'T
LIKE PAYING 30 BUCKS FOR A

577
00:31:24,483 --> 00:31:26,683
HAIRCUT, BUT I MEAN, COME ON.
[ LAUGHTER ]

578
00:31:26,752 --> 00:31:28,953
I'M PAYING 30 BUCKS FOR A
HAIRCUT.

579
00:31:29,021 --> 00:31:34,157
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER ORDERED
A PRODUCT FROM TELEVISION?

580
00:31:34,227 --> 00:31:38,095
>> A PRODUCT FROM TELEVISION.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, LIKE -- THAT

581
00:31:38,163 --> 00:31:42,366
STUFF THEY ADVERTISE LATE AT
NIGHT ON THE CABLE, YOU KNOW?

582
00:31:42,434 --> 00:31:45,569
>> WAIT, I'M SORRY.
MY WIFE UNLESS THE ROOM.

583
00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:50,307
SHE'S GOING, "THE BUTT THING."
>> Jimmy: WHAT?

584
00:31:50,376 --> 00:31:51,308
>> I DON'T KNOW!
OH, NO, NO, WE'RE NOT TALKING

585
00:31:51,310 --> 00:31:54,844
ABOUT THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]

586
00:31:54,914 --> 00:32:01,252
FORGET ABOUT THAT, NO, SIR.
[ APPLAUSE ]

587
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:02,720
I'LL TELL YOU LATER.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

588
00:32:02,788 --> 00:32:04,788
WE MAY HAVE TO HAVE HER ON THE
SHOW EVERY TIME YOU'RE ON.

589
00:32:04,856 --> 00:32:09,326
[ LAUGHTER ]
ANYWAY, THIS IS YOUR, WHAT,

590
00:32:09,394 --> 00:32:10,928
THIRD MOVIE WITH GEORGE CLOONEY,
RIGHT?

591
00:32:10,930 --> 00:32:14,865
OR ACTUALLY, WHAT -- YOU DID A
TV SHOW WITH HIM.

592
00:32:14,934 --> 00:32:19,803
YOU DID "CATCH-22" WITH HIM.
AND WHAT ELSE DID YOU GUYS DO

593
00:32:19,872 --> 00:32:23,007
TOGETHER?
>> WELL, HE PRODUCED "ARGO."

594
00:32:23,075 --> 00:32:28,078
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> THEN YEAH, THEN "22," THEN

595
00:32:28,147 --> 00:32:29,346
THIS.
>> Jimmy: AT WHAT POINT DO YOU

596
00:32:29,414 --> 00:32:32,283
BECOME ONE OF THE FRIENDS HE
GIVES A MILLION DOLLARS TO, DO

597
00:32:32,285 --> 00:32:34,084
YOU KNOW?
[ LAUGHTER ]

598
00:32:34,153 --> 00:32:36,220
>> I TRIED TO FIGURE THAT OUT, I
DON'T KNOW.

599
00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:37,888
I DON'T KNOW.
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE ONE OF THE

600
00:32:37,890 --> 00:32:43,561
SEXIEST MEN ALIVE WELL BEFORE
GEORGE CLOONEY WAS SEXIEST MAN

601
00:32:43,629 --> 00:32:44,561
ALIVE.
AND WE ACTUALLY HAVE -- WHY

602
00:32:44,563 --> 00:32:48,632
DON'T YOU TELL US ABOUT THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ]

603
00:32:48,701 --> 00:32:50,034
THAT'S NOT YOU.
>> NO, THAT'S NOT ME.

604
00:32:50,036 --> 00:32:53,704
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT YOU.
>> I HAVE TO ADMIT, THAT'S NOT

605
00:32:53,772 --> 00:32:55,372
ME.
>> Jimmy: 1992, SEPTEMBER.

606
00:32:55,374 --> 00:33:02,512
INSIDE, JOHN CORBETT.
THEN IF WE COULD ZOOM IN, KYLE

607
00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:04,514
CHANDLER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

608
00:33:04,583 --> 00:33:07,918
>> DARN, WHAT A HANDSOME DEVIL
THAT IS.

609
00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:10,721
>> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE A COPY OF
THIS?

610
00:33:10,789 --> 00:33:12,856
THIS MAGAZINE?
>> SEVEN OF THEM.

611
00:33:12,924 --> 00:33:14,591
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I SELECTED ONE OF THE

612
00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:18,595
QUOTES.
"KYLE CHANDLER HAS THAT PRELL

613
00:33:18,597 --> 00:33:20,130
HAIR, CONTROLLED POUT, AND HURT
HAZEL EYES.

614
00:33:20,199 --> 00:33:25,468
THE REST OF HIM COULD MOONLIGHT
AS A CHIPPENDALE'S DANCER."

615
00:33:25,538 --> 00:33:28,339
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT, JIMMY.

616
00:33:28,341 --> 00:33:29,539
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: IT ALSO SAID YOU WERE

617
00:33:29,608 --> 00:33:34,545
SINGLE AND LOOKING FOR LOVE.
IS THAT HOW YOU MET YOUR WIFE?

618
00:33:34,613 --> 00:33:38,882
GOT INTO WHATEVER BUTT THINGS?
[ LAUGHTER ]

619
00:33:38,950 --> 00:33:43,020
>> WELL, JIMMY, IT IS, ACTUALLY.
>> Jimmy: IT IS, WOW.

620
00:33:43,088 --> 00:33:48,425
>> I SENT OUT THAT CALL, YEAH.
YOU KNOW, THIS THING ABOUT

621
00:33:48,494 --> 00:33:49,759
GEORGE, THOUGH, I'D LIKE TO STEP
BACK.

622
00:33:49,829 --> 00:33:52,229
>> Jimmy: YEAH, GO AHEAD.
>> I CAN'T TELL YOU, DOING THIS

623
00:33:52,231 --> 00:33:57,835
MOVIE WITH HIM -- HOW MANY
WONDERFUL THINGS I'VE HAD TO

624
00:33:57,837 --> 00:34:01,505
COME UP TO SAY ABOUT HIM.
>> Jimmy: AH, YES.

625
00:34:01,573 --> 00:34:03,506
>> LET'S JUST GET ONE THING
STRAIGHT.

626
00:34:03,576 --> 00:34:09,713
HE TALKS OFTEN ABOUT BEING THE
SEXIEST MAN ALIVE TWICE.

627
00:34:09,715 --> 00:34:11,781
INDEED.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, TWICE IS ONLY

628
00:34:11,851 --> 00:34:12,982
TWO MORE TIMES THAN YOU AND I
HAVE GOT.

629
00:34:13,052 --> 00:34:17,921
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND I HAD MY SEXIEST, WELL --

630
00:34:17,990 --> 00:34:22,793
ONE OF THE TEN SEXIEST GUYS OF
THE YEAR BACK IN '91.

631
00:34:22,795 --> 00:34:26,663
WHEN DID HIS COME OUT?
>> Jimmy: I HAVE NO IDEA.

632
00:34:26,732 --> 00:34:31,068
>> '97 OR SO, I THINK.
>> Jimmy: OH.

633
00:34:31,070 --> 00:34:32,803
YEAH, YOU DEFINITELY BEAT HIM TO
IT.

634
00:34:32,871 --> 00:34:35,072
ALTHOUGH I DO WANT TO SAY, IT
WAS 1992, NOT TO SPLIT HAIRS.

635
00:34:35,140 --> 00:34:40,410
IT WAS 1992.
HEY, ONE OF THE GUYS CHECKING

636
00:34:40,479 --> 00:34:44,481
YOUR CONNECTION BEFORE TOLD ME
YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF A NIGHT

637
00:34:44,550 --> 00:34:46,683
VISION GOGGLES BEHIND YOU.
IS THAT THE BLACK THING THAT YOU

638
00:34:46,752 --> 00:34:50,754
HAVE BACK THERE?
>> I DO, YEAH.

639
00:34:50,823 --> 00:34:53,823
EVER SEEN THOSE?
>> Jimmy: I'VE SEEN THEM IN LIKE

640
00:34:53,893 --> 00:34:56,760
SHARPER IMAGE CATALOG OR
SOMETHING.

641
00:34:56,829 --> 00:34:59,696
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THAT.
>> NO, THIS IS A -- SEE, TURN IT

642
00:34:59,765 --> 00:35:02,699
ON, IT GOES DARK.
>> Jimmy: YEAH?

643
00:35:02,768 --> 00:35:06,637
>> YOU TURN ON IT -- NO, JUST
KIDDING.

644
00:35:06,705 --> 00:35:10,841
IT'S A MONOCLE.
IT'S USED -- THE SAME NIGHT

645
00:35:10,843 --> 00:35:11,975
VISION THEY USE OVER IN
AFGHANISTAN, IRAQ.

646
00:35:12,044 --> 00:35:16,046
IT'S A REALLY QUALITY PIECE.
I HAD A FRIEND OF MINE WHEN I

647
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:18,315
WAS DOING "BLOODLINE" IN
FLORIDA.

648
00:35:18,317 --> 00:35:21,919
HE SHOWED ME THIS AT NIGHTTIME.
AND WE USED IT ON THE BOATS.

649
00:35:21,921 --> 00:35:22,986
WE'D BE OUT AT NIGHT ON THE
BOATS.

650
00:35:22,988 --> 00:35:26,990
IT WAS VERY HELPFUL.
ALSO, WHEN YOU AIM IT UP AT THE

651
00:35:26,992 --> 00:35:31,995
SKY, IF YOU'RE SEEING A THOUSAND
STARS THIS WILL MULTIPLY IT

652
00:35:32,064 --> 00:35:34,130
TIMES ANOTHER THOUSAND.
IT'S ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE HOW

653
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:38,268
CLEAR IT GOES THROUGH.
BUT AS WELL, I USE IT OUT HERE

654
00:35:38,337 --> 00:35:43,407
ON THE PROPERTY TO -- WHEN I GO
OUT -- I'VE GOT AN ARMADILLO

655
00:35:43,409 --> 00:35:50,280
THAT I CHASED THE OTHER NIGHT.
LA

656
00:35:50,349 --> 00:35:51,415
[ LAUGHTER ]
PUTTING HOLES IN THE PROPERTY.

657
00:35:51,417 --> 00:35:52,883
MY WIFE SAID I CAN'T TALK ABOUT
THE DONKEYS ANYMORE.

658
00:35:52,951 --> 00:35:56,954
BUT I LIKE TO TRY TO SNEAK UP ON
THE DONETIES IN THE PASTURE AT

659
00:35:57,022 --> 00:35:59,156
NIGHT, THAT'S FUN.
[ LAUGHTER ]

660
00:35:59,224 --> 00:36:01,158
TRYING TO WALK UP ON DEER.
IT'S AMAZING.

661
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,761
YOU CAN SEE IT'S DAYTIME.
IT'S ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.

662
00:36:03,829 --> 00:36:07,765
THAT'S WHAT I USE IT FOR.
>> Jimmy: IS IT A GOOD IDEA TO

663
00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:09,299
SNEAK UP ON A DONKEY?
[ LAUGHTER ]

664
00:36:09,367 --> 00:36:14,771
>> OH, YEAH, YOU KIDDING ME?
WHO COULD HAVE MORE FUN THAN

665
00:36:14,773 --> 00:36:16,973
THAT, SIR?
[ LAUGHTER ]

666
00:36:17,042 --> 00:36:19,443
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

667
00:36:19,511 --> 00:36:22,913
>> WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR
EVENINGS?

668
00:36:22,915 --> 00:36:25,381
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT
SOUNDS -- IT'S SOMETHING I WOULD

669
00:36:25,451 --> 00:36:29,720
DEFINITELY GIVE A TRY.
I PROBABLY WOULDN'T SNEAK UP

670
00:36:29,722 --> 00:36:31,721
FROM THE REAR, BUT YOU KNOW HOW
THAT GOES.

671
00:36:31,790 --> 00:36:33,857
"THE MIDNIGHT SKY," IT'S REALLY
GOOD.

672
00:36:33,925 --> 00:36:35,391
HAVE YOU HAD A CHANCE TO SEE THE
WHOLE THING?

673
00:36:35,461 --> 00:36:37,928
>> I HAVE.
KATHERINE AND I WATCHED IT THE

674
00:36:37,996 --> 00:36:40,464
OTHER NIGHT, ABOUT FIVE NIGHTS
AGO.

675
00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:43,734
IT WAS SPECTACULAR.
IT WAS VERY INTERESTING.

676
00:36:43,736 --> 00:36:47,403
REAL QUICK, IT WAS VERY
INTERESTING FINISHING THAT MOVIE

677
00:36:47,473 --> 00:36:49,673
IN FEBRUARY, KNOWING WHAT YOU
HAD MADE, KNOWING WHAT THE

678
00:36:49,741 --> 00:36:53,410
SCRIPT WAS, THEN COMING HOME.
OVER THE LAST 10 MONTHS, HOW THE

679
00:36:53,479 --> 00:36:59,949
THEMES OF THAT MOVIE WERE
ACCENTUATED, UNFORTUNATELY.

680
00:37:00,019 --> 00:37:01,618
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> BUT IT WAS A COMPLETE

681
00:37:01,686 --> 00:37:04,621
DIFFERENT MOVIE.
THE EMOTIONAL LEVELS ON IT,

682
00:37:04,690 --> 00:37:09,559
IT'S --
>> Jimmy: I COULD NOT GET OVER

683
00:37:09,628 --> 00:37:12,629
HOW MUCH IT REALLY SPOKE TO WHAT
IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

684
00:37:12,698 --> 00:37:16,567
ESPECIALLY KNOWING THAT IT HAD
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO -- YOU

685
00:37:16,569 --> 00:37:18,168
FINISHED IT BEFORE ALL OF THIS
STARTED.

686
00:37:18,170 --> 00:37:24,241
>> IT REALLY DOES GO TO SHOW,
YOU KNOW, THE TIMING WHEN MOVIES

687
00:37:24,309 --> 00:37:29,513
ARE MADE TO WHEN THEY COME OUT.
IT'S A HUGE FACTOR IN HOW A FILM

688
00:37:29,581 --> 00:37:31,181
PLAYS.
>> Jimmy: I UNDERSTAND IF YOU

689
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:38,322
WATCH "MIDNIGHT SKY" WITH NIGHT
GOGGLES IT'S A THOUSAND TIMES

690
00:37:38,324 --> 00:37:39,056
BETTER.
[ LAUGHTER ]

691
00:37:39,124 --> 00:37:42,793
>> THERE'S EASTER EGGS
EVERYWHERE.

692
00:37:42,861 --> 00:37:45,929
>> Jimmy: "THE MIDNIGHT SKY"
PREMIERES DECEMBER 23rd ON

693
00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:46,663
NETFLIX.
KYLE, APPRECIATE IT, GOOD TO SEE

694
00:37:46,732 --> 00:37:47,664
YOU.
>> HAPPY NEW YEAR.

695
00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:50,200
>> Jimmy: YOU TOO.
BE RIGHT BACK WITH STURGILL

696
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:50,901
SIMPSON.
>> Dicky: MUSIC ON

697
00:37:58,343 --> 00:38:00,810
"JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" IS PRESENTED
BY CROWN ROYAL, WHO IS HELPING

698
00:38:00,879 --> 00:38:06,282
SUPPORT BARS, CLUBS AND STAGES
IN DANGER OF BEING LOST FOREVER.

699
00:38:06,352 --> 00:38:09,953
VISIT MAINSTREETALLIANCE.ORG TO
LEARN MORE.

700
00:38:09,955 --> 00:38:11,021
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK
EMILY BLUNT AND KYLE CHANDLER,

701
00:38:11,089 --> 00:38:13,356
APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT, BUT FIRST,

702
00:38:13,425 --> 00:38:15,491
MOMENTS AGO, HE
SURPRISE-RELEASED ANOTHER ALBUM,

703
00:38:15,561 --> 00:38:16,960
"CUTTIN' GRASS VOLUME 2."
THIS IS VOLUME 1.

704
00:38:17,029 --> 00:38:18,428
WITH THE SONG
"ALL THE PRETTY COLORS," FROM

705
00:38:18,497 --> 00:38:28,038
NASHVILLE'S STATION INN,
STURGILL SIMPSON!

706
00:38:30,375 --> 00:38:38,648
♪
♪

707
00:38:38,717 --> 00:38:41,251
♪ GREY IS THE COLOR
OF MY WORLD

708
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,720
SINCE YOU LEFT ME ♪
♪ ON THAT BRIGHT AND SUNNY

709
00:38:43,722 --> 00:38:47,190
ORANGE AND MOURNFUL DAY
NO MORE RAINBOWS ♪

710
00:38:47,192 --> 00:38:48,324
♪ SHINING OUT MY WINDOW
LIKE YOU

711
00:38:48,394 --> 00:38:52,395
MY SKIES OF BLUE ♪
♪ HAVE GONE AWAY

712
00:38:52,464 --> 00:38:56,466
I GUESS YOU
BOUGHT AND SOLD ♪

713
00:38:56,535 --> 00:38:59,603
♪ ALL THE SILVER AND THE GOLD
THIS OLD WORLD

714
00:38:59,605 --> 00:39:01,804
DON'T SEEM TO ♪
♪ SHINE NO MORE

715
00:39:01,874 --> 00:39:03,073
YELLOW, PURPLE
PINK, AND RED ♪

716
00:39:03,075 --> 00:39:04,674
♪ HAVE BEEN REPLACED BY LEAD
LIKE THE FOGGY HOLLOW

717
00:39:04,743 --> 00:39:08,345
THAT I'M HEADED FOR ♪
♪ AND ALL THE COLORS

718
00:39:08,413 --> 00:39:11,481
ARE BLEEDING
WHERE'S OL' VAN GOGH ♪

719
00:39:11,549 --> 00:39:12,749
♪ WHEN YOU NEED HIM
I BET YOU MY LEFT EAR

720
00:39:12,818 --> 00:39:14,885
HE CAN RELATE ♪
♪ AND ALL THE PRETTY BLUE

721
00:39:14,953 --> 00:39:16,953
IS FADING
FROM THE SEA OF TEARS ♪

722
00:39:17,022 --> 00:39:20,223
♪ I'M WADING
AND IT'S CAUSE OF YOU

723
00:39:20,292 --> 00:39:24,828
MY WORLD'S GONE GREY ♪
♪

724
00:39:24,896 --> 00:39:36,840
♪
♪

725
00:39:36,842 --> 00:39:53,256
♪
♪

726
00:39:53,324 --> 00:39:57,127
♪
♪ WELL, SOME SAY GREY'S

727
00:39:57,129 --> 00:39:59,595
A BETTER WAY
TO LIVE THAN BLUE ♪

728
00:39:59,665 --> 00:40:01,198
♪ NOT QUITE
BLACK AND WHITE

729
00:40:01,266 --> 00:40:03,866
BUT IN BETWEEN ♪
♪ BUT I'VE BEEN SO DOWN

730
00:40:03,936 --> 00:40:05,135
EVER SINCE THOSE
EYES OF BROWN ♪

731
00:40:05,203 --> 00:40:08,472
♪ FOLLOWED WHITE LINES
BACK TO PINES

732
00:40:08,474 --> 00:40:09,406
ETERNAL GREEN ♪
♪ AND ALL THE COLORS

733
00:40:09,474 --> 00:40:11,942
ARE BLEEDING
WHERE'S OL' VAN GOGH ♪

734
00:40:11,944 --> 00:40:14,011
♪ WHEN YOU NEED HIM
I BET YOU MY LEFT EAR

735
00:40:14,079 --> 00:40:17,147
HE CAN RELATE ♪
♪ AND ALL THE PRETTY BLUE

736
00:40:17,215 --> 00:40:18,414
IS FADING
FROM THE SEA OF TEARS ♪

737
00:40:18,484 --> 00:40:20,884
♪ I'M WADING
AND IT'S CAUSE OF YOU

738
00:40:20,886 --> 00:40:24,153
MY WORLD'S GONE GREY ♪
♪ AND ALL THE PRETTY BLUE

739
00:40:24,223 --> 00:40:26,556
IS FADING
FROM THE SEA OF TEARS ♪

740
00:40:26,625 --> 00:40:28,959
♪ I'M WADING
AND IT'S CAUSE OF YOU

741
00:40:29,027 --> 00:40:34,431
MY WORLD'S GONE GREY ♪
♪

742
00:40:34,499 --> 00:41:00,190
♪
♪