1 00:00:02,903 --> 00:00:06,472 >> dicky: From hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." 2 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:13,145 tonight, keegan-michael key. Isla fisherand music from ingrid 3 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,813 andress. And now, jimmy kimmel! 4 00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:20,386 >> jimmy: Hi, everyone. I'm jimmy, I'm the host of the 5 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:21,453 show. Thank you very much. 6 00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:25,858 Thank you for watching, thank you for joining us. 7 00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:27,793 You know, the holidays can be a lonely time without being 8 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,561 confined to your home. So it's important to know that 9 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:30,429 you are not alone. And we are not alone in the 10 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:31,630 universe. At least that's according to 11 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:38,037 israel's former head of space security, who's claiming in a 12 00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,873 new book that alien beings from outer space have been in contact 13 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:44,877 with the u.S. And israeli governments for years. 14 00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,779 Haim eshed is a retired general and a well-respected professor 15 00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:50,849 in israel. Or at least he was before he 16 00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:52,885 said this. [ laughter ] 17 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,386 he claims these extraterrestrial beings come in peace. 18 00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:58,524 He says they are curious about humanity and are seeking to 19 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,360 understand both "the fabric of the universe," and cotton, the 20 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:05,064 fabric of our lives. [ laughter ] 21 00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:10,803 eshed claims the president knows about this and was about to 22 00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,471 spill the beans, but was asked not to in order to prevent "mass 23 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,773 hysteria." because the last thing 24 00:01:14,809 --> 00:01:17,743 donald trump would ever want to create is mass hysteria. 25 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:20,679 [ laughter ] [ applause ] 26 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,748 >> jimmy: I don't know. If this was true, trump 27 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:23,982 definitely would have talked about it. 28 00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:25,184 Or at the very least, he would have done that thing where he 29 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:29,088 dances around it because he's dying to brag that he knows 30 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,022 something we don't? "do I know about aliens? 31 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:34,126 Nobody knows more about aliens than me. 32 00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:36,628 Does that mean I've seen them? Who knows? 33 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:42,301 We'll be making a very big announcement very soon, believe 34 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:44,269 me." I'm more likely to believe there 35 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:47,806 are aliens among us than I am to believe donald trump kept quiet 36 00:01:47,842 --> 00:01:50,509 about it. [ laughter ] 37 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:56,515 he'd be firing off tweets like phaser guns. 38 00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:57,716 "the galactic federation is a total disaster!" 39 00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:01,153 "no one has been tougher on planet zeldar than your favorite 40 00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:04,056 president." "I am hereby calling for a full 41 00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:05,124 and total ban on illegal space aliens from entering the country 42 00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:06,592 until we can figure out what the hell is going on! 43 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:10,229 Thank you." [ cheers and applause ] 44 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:14,399 but maybe it is true. Maybe this is the one secret 45 00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:17,336 other than stormy daniels donald trump kept. 46 00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:18,637 Maybe it goes even deeper. Here's a thought. 47 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:25,978 Not only does trump know about the aliens, to protect the 48 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,680 world, he married off his daughter to one! 49 00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:32,384 [ laughter and laughter ] organism 389, aka the jared 50 00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:33,619 project. And he's marrying his third 51 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:43,362 favorite son to one too! >> the best is yet to come! 52 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:49,134 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: According to the 53 00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:50,369 general, the aliens belong to a galactic federation, and have an 54 00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:53,672 underground base on mars where they work alongside american 55 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,041 space personnel. Maybe that's where mike pence 56 00:02:56,076 --> 00:03:01,380 has been for the past three weeks. 57 00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,282 [ laughter ] he is very focused on space. 58 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:11,657 The second in commander of the space force was at space 59 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,659 canaveral where he renamed the place. 60 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:18,263 >> I'd like to ask the honor guard to step forward. 61 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:21,867 It is my great honor as your vice president, as chairman of 62 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,703 the national space council, on behalf of president donald 63 00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:34,446 trump, to announce that cape canaveral air force station will 64 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:37,015 become cape canaveral space force station. 65 00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:40,385 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: This guy's going, uh, 66 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,421 okay, does that mean we'll get a new patch or what? 67 00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:46,558 [ laughter ] the space poodle led his final 68 00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:49,461 meeting of the national space council today, but the star of 69 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:52,030 that show, in my opinion, was secretary of commerce, wilbur 70 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:56,368 ross. >> similarly, japan became the 71 00:03:56,403 --> 00:04:03,041 first country to bring back to earth the soil sample from an 72 00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:05,410 astronaut. [ laughter ] 73 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:08,113 looking ahead -- >> jimmy: Don't look too far 74 00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:12,684 ahead. [ laughter ] 75 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,087 not too far from being a soil sample yourself. 76 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:19,024 You know, I wonder what will happen to the space force once 77 00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,126 joe biden comes in. I mean, I have a feeling it will 78 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,862 be similar to what happened to radio shack. 79 00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,731 [ laughter ] and how did mike pence, a guy 80 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,066 who believes that jesus had a pet dinosaur, become our top 81 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:32,571 authority on science? I mean, he's had quite a run. 82 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:36,908 To honor this administration's unshakeable promise to totally 83 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,645 imaginary branch of the military, we put together a 84 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:44,783 loving tribute today to honor mike pence's commitment to 85 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:47,686 space. >> the time has come to 86 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,622 establish the united states space force. 87 00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:54,559 The united states space force. The united states space force. 88 00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:56,828 Space force. Space force. 89 00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:58,930 Space force. Space force. 90 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,933 >> golf course. >> space force. 91 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,035 >> golf course. >> space force. 92 00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:06,138 >> golf course. >> space force. 93 00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,105 >> golf course. >> space force. 94 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,508 >> golf course. >> space force. 95 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:10,942 >> golf course. >> space force. 96 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,611 >> golf course. >> space force. 97 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,212 >> golf course. >> space force. 98 00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:17,215 >> golf course. >> space force. 99 00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:18,116 >> golf course. >> space force. 100 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,418 >> golf course. >> space force. 101 00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:22,187 >> golf course. >> space force. 102 00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:23,488 >> golf course. >> space force. 103 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:28,460 >> golf course. >> space force. 104 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,528 >> golf course! [ cheers and applause ] 105 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:30,696 >> jimmy: I think golf course wins, I don't know. 106 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:35,801 I hate to see them fight. Meanwhile, recount-dracula is on 107 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,904 the mend. Rudy giuliani claims he's doing 108 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:42,674 fine, even though everything we've seen from him the past 109 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:45,177 four years would indicate otherwise. 110 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:49,781 You can never count him out. If rudy giuliani can survive the 111 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:53,518 transylvanian epidemic of 1304, he should have no trouble with 112 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,787 this. [ laughter and applause ] 113 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:59,958 rudy says he's recovering thanks to the same vip cocktail of 114 00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,593 experimental drugs they gave to donald trump. 115 00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:04,463 >> the minute I took it, the cocktail, yesterday, I felt 100% 116 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,832 better. >> wow. 117 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:10,969 >> it works very quickly, wow. >> jimmy: Why aren't we madder 118 00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:14,206 about the fact that rudy and donnie and junior and all the 119 00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:17,809 swamp monsters pretending to be human are getting a special 120 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,712 miracle cure nobody else seems to be able to get? 121 00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:22,414 And why didn't herman cain get that? 122 00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:24,950 He was their friend. Is it like one of those movies 123 00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:27,753 where the black guy gets killed first? 124 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:30,255 What is going on there? [ laughter ] 125 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:33,125 doctors at georgetown hospital kept giuliani overnight for 126 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,426 observation. They're still trying to figure 127 00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:38,597 out what caused the weird brown liquid to leak out of his head. 128 00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,165 [ laughter ] his release today, they put him 129 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,601 in a car, you can see that car here. 130 00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:45,070 He gave reporters a thumbs up as he drove by. 131 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:50,509 If all goes well, he should be back screaming outside a dildo 132 00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,010 store in no time. [ cheers and applause ] 133 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:54,746 rudy giuliani doesn't have time to sit around in bed all day, he 134 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:57,716 has courts to get laughed out of. 135 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,584 [ laughter ] they're calling trump's latest 136 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:04,189 lawsuit a hail mary, which seems very disrespectful to mary. 137 00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:08,326 It's more of a hail hitler, if you ask me. 138 00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:09,494 La [ laughter ] 139 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:13,732 hopefully rudy will be back up on his hoofs very soon. 140 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:18,203 We are on day 36 of squattergate, still no 141 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:21,273 concession speech. One trump seems to see the 142 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:26,378 writing on the wall. This is a headline today, 143 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:30,182 "melania trump just wants to go home." 144 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,950 don't worry, January 20th you are going home. 145 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,218 [ cheers and applause ] her husband keeps telling 146 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,553 everyone to fight because he won the election. 147 00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:37,722 Melania has reportedly been discreetly packing and inquiring 148 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:40,625 about staff and other arrangements in a post-white 149 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:41,726 house world. She's also been shipping 150 00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:45,564 personal items back to mar-a-lago and home to their 151 00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,966 apartment in new york. Oh, if donald finds out about 152 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:52,204 that, he is going to have a "ship fit," I tell you. 153 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,438 [ laughter ] here's somebody else who just 154 00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:57,309 wants to go home require mentioned joe exotic, also known 155 00:07:57,344 --> 00:08:01,079 as the "tiger king," is trying to get himself a presidential 156 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,347 pardon. He's serving a 22-year sentence 157 00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:07,185 for attempting to hire a hitman to kill carole baskin, his 158 00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:08,553 nemesis. His plan to get out is none 159 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:13,892 other than kim kardashian. He wrote a handwritten personal 160 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:17,128 plea, dear kim k., I'm writing you this letter not as joe 161 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:20,732 exotic but as the person, joseph maldonado passage. 162 00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:24,569 I hope that's not the strategy they go to trump with. 163 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,806 Not joe exotic. Joe maldonado who? 164 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:31,910 No pardon, next! But he continues, please help me 165 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:37,215 by placing a call to president trump to look at my 257-page 166 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:40,051 pardon, with all the evidence. I'm innocent, ask him sign my 167 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:42,487 pardon. Then he closes very strong. 168 00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:43,722 He says, will you please help me? 169 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,191 With just a phone call, no one even has to know you did it. 170 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:50,328 [ laughter ] well, now we do, I guess. 171 00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:53,665 If there's, I don't know, a single sentence that sums up 172 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:58,637 2020, to me it's joe exotic asks kim kardashian to help him get a 173 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:02,541 pardon from donald trump. [ laughter ] 174 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,075 [ applause ] kim kardashian is apparently a 175 00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:07,546 fan of "tiger king." she dressed up as carole baskin 176 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:11,116 for Halloween, which I'm not sure if that helps joe's chances 177 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,217 or hurts them. [ laughter ] 178 00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:14,553 this could be something between kim and her father. 179 00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:20,125 Imagine if the kardashian family got the "tiger king" and o.J. 180 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:20,892 Off the hook. I mean -- 181 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:25,063 [ laughter ] can you imagine that? 182 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,732 >> guillermo: Wow, that would be crazy. 183 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:28,233 >> jimmy: Wouldn't that be something? 184 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,400 Yeah. [ laughter ] 185 00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:32,270 christmas is going to be difficult for santa with the 186 00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:36,007 covid and all this year, so to help him out, guillermo and I 187 00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:40,078 broke out the elf costumes and we did some house calls online 188 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:49,754 to ask kids if they've been naughty this year or nice. 189 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,556 >> jimmy: Hello there. >> guillermo: Hi. 190 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:54,993 >> jimmy: What's your name? >> hi, owen. 191 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,495 >> jimmy: Hi, owen, I'm elf jimmy, this is elf guillermo. 192 00:09:57,531 --> 00:10:01,099 We work for santa claus. We're up at the north pole right 193 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,033 now. >> that's cool. 194 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,502 >> jimmy: Are you excited about christmas? 195 00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:06,137 >> yeah. >> jimmy: Oh, I bet you are. 196 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:09,708 Christmas is so much fun, right? How old are you? 197 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:12,210 >> 4. >> jimmy: 4 years old. 198 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:15,246 I was 4 once. >> guillermo: Me too, longtime 199 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,414 ago. >> jimmy: Remember that? 200 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,416 >> guillermo: I remember. >> jimmy: You know what I loved 201 00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,552 when I was 4 years old? >> what? 202 00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:25,890 >> jimmy: Stories about the war. [ laughter ] 203 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:30,695 tell us about you. Have you been naughty or nice 204 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:31,796 this year? >> most of the time I'm pretty 205 00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,365 nice. >> jimmy: What nice things have 206 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,202 you done? >> I've been kissing my brother, 207 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:40,305 and I've been -- he kind of crawls like this. 208 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,140 >> jimmy: Uh-huh. >> he kind of crawls, and I -- 209 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:46,878 I've been very nice by playing with him, and I've been 210 00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:48,279 crawling, I've been crawling with him. 211 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:52,450 >> jimmy: It sounds like you're a very good big brother. 212 00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:58,189 >> are those candy cane pencils? >> jimmy: Candy cane pens, we 213 00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:00,692 write with them. >> I think they look so funny. 214 00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:03,294 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: You like these? 215 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,663 Maybe we'll send you one of these. 216 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,698 What are some of the naughty things you've done this year? 217 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:11,236 >> sometimes we say "poopy-head." 218 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:12,904 that's not a very good word. [ laughter ] 219 00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:17,275 >> jimmy: It's not a very good word but it's not a big, huge 220 00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:21,646 deal. Who do you say poopy-head to? 221 00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:26,251 >> my friend at school, teddy. When I next go to school, I'll 222 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:29,287 say, teddy, stop it, you're not supposed to do that. 223 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,455 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: Yeah. 224 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:37,729 Does he call you poopy-head? And do you have a poopy head? 225 00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:40,231 No. Does he have a poopy head? 226 00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:43,468 >> not a poopy head, we have poopy butts. 227 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:44,436 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: That's a very good 228 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:48,540 point, you do. >> guillermo: You're very smart. 229 00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:49,774 >> jimmy: You should smell guillermo over here. 230 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:55,547 What do you want for christmas, what can we put on the list for 231 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:58,383 santa? >> I like blue whales. 232 00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:04,789 >> guillermo: Blue whales, wow. >> jimmy: Do you have a big 233 00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,024 bathtub? >> you know why? 234 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,358 Because they're blue. >> jimmy: Yes, it was right in 235 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,828 front of our faces. So where would you keep the blue 236 00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:14,365 whale? >> I'd keep it in a tank. 237 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,202 >> jimmy: Oh, we'll have to get a very big tank, though, right? 238 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,737 Maybe even bigger than your house. 239 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,739 >> no, no. A toy tank. 240 00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:25,210 A toy blue whale, I mean. >> jimmy: Oh my gosh, thank god 241 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,946 you told us. >> guillermo: Oh, wow, you 242 00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,047 scared us. >> jimmy: We were going to have 243 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,782 santa bring you a real blue whale. 244 00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:34,686 >> santa doesn't have real animals, he just has toys in his 245 00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:36,187 toy shop. >> jimmy: Every once in a while 246 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:41,693 a real animal gets in there. >> imagine if a dangerous animal 247 00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:43,661 bit me. >> jimmy: Oh, that would be not 248 00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:45,864 good. >> guillermo: That would be 249 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:48,399 terrible. >> if it was a very strong bite, 250 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,236 I would die. >> jimmy: Yeah. 251 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,437 Okay, so basically what you want this year is you want a blue 252 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,206 whale. >> yeah. 253 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:59,911 >> jimmy: Nothing else? >> no, I'd kind of like a lot of 254 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,713 toys. >> jimmy: You want a lot of 255 00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,448 toys? Like how many toys would you 256 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:06,351 like? >> I kind of want too many. 257 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,186 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: Like what number? 258 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,287 >> 100. >> jimmy: 100? 259 00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:13,892 Wow, that's a lot of toys. It will be a lot of toys to 260 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:17,061 open. That will take you all day. 261 00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:20,565 >> uh -- I'm not going to do that. 262 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,667 How about 10 presents? >> jimmy: 10 presents? 263 00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,102 >> guillermo: Okay, 10. >> jimmy: That seems reasonable 264 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,203 to me. >> okay. 265 00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:29,274 >> jimmy: Guess what? We have a present for you today. 266 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:33,645 >> you have a -- you said you have a present for you today? 267 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,114 >> jimmy: I did say that. >> guillermo: Yeah. 268 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,582 >> jimmy: There it is. You want to open it now or wait 269 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:41,152 till christmas? >> open it now. 270 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,154 >> jimmy: Okay, go ahead, open it. 271 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,222 >> open it? >> guillermo: I hope you like 272 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:47,025 it. >> jimmy: Have you lost any 273 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:50,328 teeth yet? >> no. 274 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:56,935 >> jimmy: Okay. See what it is. 275 00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,937 >> jimmy: You know what those? [ laughter ] 276 00:13:58,972 --> 00:13:59,604 >> what? >> jimmy: They're called 277 00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:03,675 dentures. >> dentures? 278 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,810 >> jimmy: Yeah. If you have those, you don't 279 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,078 have to brush your teeth anymore. 280 00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:13,751 Isn't that fun? >> how do you use these things? 281 00:14:13,787 --> 00:14:15,987 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: Well, once your teeth 282 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:23,228 fall out, they replace your real teeth. 283 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:24,162 Exactly. >> guillermo: Yes. 284 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,497 >> jimmy: Good job. Oh, look at that smile. 285 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,834 That's the smile santa loves to see on a child's face. 286 00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:32,270 [ laughter ] merry christmas, owen. 287 00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:35,807 >> guillermo: Merry christmas! >> jimmy: Keep being good, owen, 288 00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:38,076 okay? >> merry christmas! 289 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,044 >> jimmy: Oh, you dropped your dentures. 290 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,681 Soak those in a little polident and you'll be fine. 291 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:48,019 >> I love them! >> jimmy: Great, we're glad you 292 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,954 love them. >> guillermo: Merry christmas. 293 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:52,857 >> jimmy: Merry christmas, owen. I hope those aren't used. 294 00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,492 >> merry christmas! [ cheers and applause ] 295 00:14:54,527 --> 00:15:00,565 >> jimmy: Thank you, owen. We have a good show for you 296 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,601 tonight. Isla fisher is with us, music 297 00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,136 from ingrid andress. Be right back with 298 00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,138 keegan-michael key! [ cheers and applause ] 299 00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:15,346 ♪ >> jimmy: Welcome back to the 300 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:17,582 show. Tonight, isla fisher is with us. 301 00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:22,020 Then later, her grammy-nominated album is called "ladylike," 302 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:29,327 music from ingrid andris. Tomorrow night, our guests are 303 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,329 emily blunt and kyle chandler, with music from 304 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:34,832 sturjill simpson. Please join us for that. 305 00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,935 Our first guest is a multi-talented performer who has 306 00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:37,702 now worked with both of america's top murphys, eddie and 307 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,537 ryan. The latter directs him as a 308 00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:42,974 singing and dancing high school principal in the all-star cast 309 00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:45,777 of "the prom." it premieres Friday on netflix. 310 00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:52,216 Please say hello to keegan-michael key. 311 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,584 [ cheers and applause ] hey, now, what's happening? 312 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:57,355 >> hey, everybody, how are you? >> jimmy: How are you? 313 00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:59,457 >> I'm good, jimmy, how are you doing? 314 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,193 >> jimmy: I'm doing well. Where are you right now? 315 00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:04,495 Do you mind me asking? >> I don't mind you asking at 316 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:08,566 all, my friend. I am on fire island in new york 317 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:12,337 and it's very -- >> jimmy: I see you said you're 318 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,372 on fire, then you threw island in there. 319 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,474 >> I'm on fire. Island. 320 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:20,878 Right. I'm in a small family community 321 00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,580 on fire island. >> jimmy: Isn't that a summer 322 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:26,284 community, fire island? >> it is a summer community for 323 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,253 the most part. Lots of people come here from 324 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:33,157 all over the tri-state area. But there are is residents here 325 00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:35,927 in the wintertime. You know, the island's about 35 326 00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:41,032 miles long, and there's probably, I don't know, 80 327 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,901 families on the whole island. About 200 people on the whole 328 00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:45,169 island. >> jimmy: Really? 329 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,472 >> yeah, there are like workers and construction people that 330 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:52,243 come build and fix things and lock down the houses for the 331 00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:53,578 winter. Then they go back to long 332 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:57,448 island, back to the mainland. So it's very secluded, very 333 00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,984 peaceful, very beautiful. >> jimmy: And you are locked in 334 00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:07,058 the bathroom, I see? [ laughter ] 335 00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:09,694 >> you can see the ship lathe here? 336 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:13,531 The toilet's right there. >> jimmy: You grew up in 337 00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:16,868 detroit, correct? >> I did, I grew up in detroit, 338 00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,202 michigan. I just said detroit, michigan. 339 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:20,338 It's so funny. Detroit's one of those cities, 340 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,975 you only have to say the city. I'm not from detroit, new 341 00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,309 mexico. [ laughter ] 342 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,512 >> jimmy: There's no confusing it. 343 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,713 Even las vegas, there's a las vegas, new mexico. 344 00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:32,450 >> exactly, right, right. >> jimmy: Where in detroit? 345 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:33,618 What part of detroit are you from? 346 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:37,955 >> I grew up as far north in detroit as you can possibly 347 00:17:37,991 --> 00:17:41,325 live. I grew up one block south of 8 348 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:42,527 mile road. >> jimmy: Right. 349 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,064 >> which is good because it's the one thing everybody knows 350 00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:49,567 about detroit, 8 mile. I know the little street. 351 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:54,372 Everyone's like, detroit? 8 mile? 352 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:57,008 Eminem! [ laughter ] 353 00:17:57,043 --> 00:18:00,344 >> jimmy: It was just like a normal little kind of 354 00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,946 neighborhood community, right? >> it really was. 355 00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:05,917 There were times when people would -- friends from the 356 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:09,353 suburbs would drop me off at home and go, this is a nice 357 00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,288 suburb. I'm like, no, no, you're in the 358 00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:14,325 city. Oh, what? 359 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:18,396 It was like they were in shangri-la, they couldn't 360 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:21,232 believe it. A very nice, diverse 361 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,934 neighborhood, it was great. >> jimmy: Because of the movie, 362 00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:26,304 then 8 mile, I don't know, it seems like it would be a tough 363 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:30,775 area. >> yeah, I mean, it was -- let's 364 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,344 say it was semi-spicy where I lived. 365 00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:35,012 [ laughter ] semi-spicy. 366 00:18:35,048 --> 00:18:38,449 I would say you kind of had to keep your head on half a swivel. 367 00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:43,187 Just over your left shoulder. I mean, I had a bunch of 368 00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:45,790 neighborhood kids I lived around, we had a wonderful time. 369 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:49,460 We had a field, if you can believe, a natural, empty field, 370 00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:52,430 like a lot, at the end of our block. 371 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:56,501 And I used to play baseball and football and soccer in this 372 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:57,735 field. And very often when I would be 373 00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,605 in the outfield, right by the street, by the road, we had -- 374 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,473 we actually had an audience for the game. 375 00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:06,611 There were prostitutes who would watch us play baseball. 376 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,879 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: Wow. 377 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:11,149 >> there were prostitutes that would literally were like, "you 378 00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,583 got it, baby. He can't hit. 379 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:16,721 He can't hit for power. You gonna catch the ball, you 380 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:19,624 just have to play a little bit, move in a little bit. 381 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:23,461 I don't understand, you so rangy, you should probably be 382 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,797 the shortstop. Evangeline, look how athletic 383 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,866 this childs." I would ask my mom why the 384 00:19:28,902 --> 00:19:33,171 ladies standing on the streets, why their pants were so short. 385 00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,806 >> jimmy: They're cheerleaders, honey. 386 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,475 >> cheerleaders. >> jimmy: Did you actually do 387 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:41,579 any professional acting in detroit? 388 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,381 Or did that happen after you moved? 389 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:48,786 >> no, I did. I did my first job ever on 390 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,855 screen in detroit. Technically, it was in pontiac, 391 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:51,956 michigan. >> jimmy: Ah. 392 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:55,293 >> yes, which people -- some people have heard of. 393 00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,694 You know the car, the pontiac. >> jimmy: Sure. 394 00:19:56,729 --> 00:20:00,765 >> named after the town. No, it was named after the 395 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,367 indian chief. But I was in a movie, a small 396 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,137 independent movie called "lunatics." 397 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:12,143 it starred ted rainy, sam ramey's brother. 398 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:16,480 From the metro detroit area. An actress by the name of 399 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,349 deborah foreman. And I was an extra. 400 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:21,652 They had this love scene, having a meaningful conversation, and I 401 00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:26,090 walk right past them. And that was my screen debut in 402 00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:29,994 the movie "lunatics." >> jimmy: Were you good? 403 00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:33,564 You accomplished the task? >> you would have loved my 404 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,633 walking. My walking was so convincing. 405 00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:38,035 [ laughter ] here's what I did. 406 00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:38,903 I have a very special technique, jimmy. 407 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,806 I put one leg in front. >> jimmy: Oh! 408 00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:43,007 >> then put the other leg in front of it. 409 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:46,277 >> jimmy: Oh. >> then I just kept doing that 410 00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:48,179 till I got through the scene. [ applause ] 411 00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:51,215 >> jimmy: It explains why you were good at sports. 412 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,784 Then did you get to see the movie? 413 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:57,288 >> I did, I did. I did, I went to a -- I went to 414 00:20:57,323 --> 00:21:00,725 a screening of the movie. And the reason I knew it was me, 415 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,729 because I was wearing the same t-shirt at the screening that I 416 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,598 was in the movie. [ laughter ] 417 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:12,903 I was like, that's me! See? 418 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:17,742 The gentleman in the tie dye jimi hendrix t-shirt just walked 419 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:21,345 briskly and professionally in front of debbie foreman and ted 420 00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:21,846 ramey. >> jimmy: That is really what 421 00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,981 you wore? >> yeah. 422 00:21:24,017 --> 00:21:25,716 Oh, yeah. I just knew. 423 00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:29,487 I wasn't trying to steal focus, I just knew that -- they said, 424 00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:34,892 bring your own wardrobe. I was bringing it, jimi hendrix. 425 00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:38,162 I was bringing it. I think I had on jeans, 426 00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:42,933 birkenstocks, and this tie dyed jimi hendrix t-shirt. 427 00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:44,068 >> jimmy: Wow. >> you couldn't miss me. 428 00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:45,803 >> jimmy: We're going to take a break. 429 00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:49,540 Keegan-michael key is with us. His new movie is called "the 430 00:21:49,575 --> 00:21:50,608 prom" premiering Friday on netflix. 431 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:51,142 We'll be right back. >>> if you want people to like 432 00:21:56,516 --> 00:22:00,551 you instead of hate you, you have to be good, a good person. 433 00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:03,454 You have to put other people's interests before your own. 434 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:06,757 >> you don't understand. I am a celebrity. 435 00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:10,561 It is all about me. It has been for decades. 436 00:22:10,596 --> 00:22:14,398 That's the point of celebrity. So I have to be reprogrammed. 437 00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:19,170 I have to unlearn things like shoving and taking and -- 438 00:22:19,205 --> 00:22:21,038 >> yes. >> I need help with that. 439 00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:27,812 I need a -- teacher. >> jimmy: Oh, well. 440 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:33,718 That is our teacher. [ cheers and applause ] 441 00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:34,852 meryl streep. Keegan michael key. 442 00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:39,256 Is it weird to see yourself in a scene with meryl streep? 443 00:22:39,292 --> 00:22:41,525 >> it is a little surreal, it is. 444 00:22:41,561 --> 00:22:45,863 I'm like, that's meryl streep! That's me! 445 00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:50,434 What -- how did they -- that is really good, they superimposed 446 00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:51,736 me into a scene with meryl streep! 447 00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:55,306 It even looks like the lines I'm saying are corresponding with 448 00:22:55,341 --> 00:22:57,775 what -- >> jimmy: You do some singing in 449 00:22:57,810 --> 00:22:59,076 this movie. >> I do. 450 00:22:59,112 --> 00:23:02,513 >> jimmy: You're singing in two netflix movies right now. 451 00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:07,752 >> yes, "jingle jangle" and in this movie, "the prom." 452 00:23:07,787 --> 00:23:12,790 then I just finished another tv show where I'm singing. 453 00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:14,792 What's interesting is, this is something I've always liked 454 00:23:14,827 --> 00:23:17,161 doing in my life but I didn't have any idea it was going to 455 00:23:17,196 --> 00:23:19,764 come to this. It's interesting. 456 00:23:19,799 --> 00:23:22,299 I have a number in each one of these projects. 457 00:23:22,335 --> 00:23:24,668 So it's nice. It's like I'm working my way 458 00:23:24,704 --> 00:23:28,038 back in. Not too many numbers, just one 459 00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:29,240 number. Just come in, do my one number, 460 00:23:29,275 --> 00:23:31,809 act the rest of the film. It's been really lovely. 461 00:23:31,844 --> 00:23:35,312 >> jimmy: I would imagine the only thing more nerve-racking 462 00:23:35,348 --> 00:23:38,783 than acting with meryl streep is having to sing in front of her. 463 00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:41,752 >> yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, she's -- here's the thing 464 00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:45,156 about meryl. Every good thing you think about 465 00:23:45,191 --> 00:23:49,927 meryl streep is true. She's just -- she's just like -- 466 00:23:49,962 --> 00:23:51,862 she's just as advertised, you know? 467 00:23:51,898 --> 00:23:54,031 She makes you feel really comfortable. 468 00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:57,301 And you just kind of get lost in her, because she wants -- the 469 00:23:57,336 --> 00:24:01,105 thing is, you can see in her eyes, she wants you to do well. 470 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:04,408 She wants you to do well. >> jimmy: What about eddie 471 00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:06,010 murphy? Who is more intimidating to work 472 00:24:06,045 --> 00:24:11,549 opposite of? >> I got to tell you, it was 473 00:24:11,584 --> 00:24:13,317 definitely eddie. The first day on set I was 474 00:24:13,352 --> 00:24:18,622 sitting in the truck, in the van, and eddie's -- it was a 475 00:24:18,658 --> 00:24:19,790 really -- thank god this happened. 476 00:24:19,826 --> 00:24:24,662 It was eddie's body double. His stand-in was on the truck. 477 00:24:24,697 --> 00:24:27,998 He had sunglasses on. I remember I got into the truck. 478 00:24:28,034 --> 00:24:34,939 My brain I was like, aaghh! Keep it cool, keep it cool, keep 479 00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:36,574 it cool. You're good, it's good. 480 00:24:36,609 --> 00:24:40,177 What's up, man? He was very effusive, roger. 481 00:24:40,213 --> 00:24:42,112 He was like, how you doing, you good? 482 00:24:42,148 --> 00:24:46,550 Then he took his sunglasses off, I realized it wasn't eddie. 483 00:24:46,586 --> 00:24:48,619 [ laughter ] I got all the craziness out 484 00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:51,355 before we got to set. Then we got to set and I'm 485 00:24:51,390 --> 00:24:53,824 sitting there, I just want to geek out. 486 00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:56,627 I just want to ask him questions. 487 00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:59,563 And then we're all sitting there, we're waiting on the 488 00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:02,466 turnaround. Then craig robinson just goes, 489 00:25:02,502 --> 00:25:05,636 "so what's the deal with the 40th anniversary of "Saturday 490 00:25:05,671 --> 00:25:07,004 night live," what happened there?" 491 00:25:07,039 --> 00:25:11,876 I'm like, what are you doing? Then eddie very graciously 492 00:25:11,911 --> 00:25:14,044 answered all of our questions about that. 493 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:21,719 And so it took me about a week before I got up the courage to 494 00:25:21,754 --> 00:25:25,222 ask him a question about himself. 495 00:25:25,258 --> 00:25:26,724 >> jimmy: I see. >> like where did you grow up? 496 00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:29,627 All this stuff. Then he started just offering 497 00:25:29,662 --> 00:25:31,095 stories. So it was great, it was great, 498 00:25:31,130 --> 00:25:32,263 it was really lovely. >> jimmy: You guys have 499 00:25:32,298 --> 00:25:35,833 actually -- weirdly, you and eddie kind of have the same 500 00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:41,839 story in that you started on the sketch comedy shows doing 501 00:25:41,874 --> 00:25:45,776 characters that are -- that were unusual to see done. 502 00:25:45,811 --> 00:25:48,712 >> yeah, yeah, that's true. >> jimmy: What's the most 503 00:25:48,748 --> 00:25:51,782 obscure imitation or impression that you do? 504 00:25:51,817 --> 00:25:54,318 >> it's a toss-up. >> jimmy: Okay. 505 00:25:54,353 --> 00:25:58,122 >> okay. Between gregory sierra, who 506 00:25:58,157 --> 00:26:00,324 played julio on "sanford and son." 507 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:04,228 >> jimmy: I'd love to hear that, I love "sanford and son." 508 00:26:04,263 --> 00:26:04,995 >> what are you doing, mr. Sanford? 509 00:26:05,031 --> 00:26:07,598 Good to see you! [ laughter ] 510 00:26:07,633 --> 00:26:10,534 we're going out tonight, we're going to party down, come home, 511 00:26:10,570 --> 00:26:13,304 see you later, do you want to come with us, mr. Sanford? 512 00:26:13,339 --> 00:26:18,876 You better shut up! [ laughter ] 513 00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:23,314 >> jimmy: That's good. >> you know, just like, come on, 514 00:26:23,349 --> 00:26:27,451 mr. Sanford, don't be like that! Gregory sierra. 515 00:26:27,486 --> 00:26:37,394 And the other one is quad chang kang from "kung fu" played by 516 00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:39,129 david carradine. Which is really a very simple, 517 00:26:39,165 --> 00:26:44,034 easy -- such your inner serenity and then, all you have to do is 518 00:26:44,070 --> 00:26:45,869 speak like this. But his big catch phrase was 519 00:26:45,905 --> 00:26:51,442 always, "I mean you no harm." every episode of "kung fu." 520 00:26:51,477 --> 00:26:54,111 david carradine is surrounded by 16 roughneck cowboys, you don't 521 00:26:54,146 --> 00:26:58,349 belong here! I'll say the proper term. 522 00:26:58,384 --> 00:27:02,453 You don't belong here, asian american! 523 00:27:02,488 --> 00:27:05,055 >> jimmy: Uh-huh, yeah. [ laughter ] 524 00:27:05,091 --> 00:27:09,059 >> then, I mean you no harm. Then he'd pick up a stick. 525 00:27:09,095 --> 00:27:11,729 My dad and I would be like, here we go! 526 00:27:11,764 --> 00:27:17,401 [ applause ] >> jimmy: It's great to see you, 527 00:27:17,436 --> 00:27:18,502 keegan-michael. Thanks for being with us. 528 00:27:18,537 --> 00:27:22,873 Have a great holiday. "the prom" premieres Friday on 529 00:27:22,908 --> 00:27:26,510 netflix. Keegan-michael key, everybody! 530 00:27:26,545 --> 00:27:28,345 [ cheers and applause ] >> take care, everybody. 531 00:27:28,381 --> 00:27:29,913 >> jimmy: Stay tuned for isla fisher. 532 00:27:32,218 --> 00:27:37,154 >> jimmy: Hi, welcome back. Isla fisher and music from 533 00:27:37,189 --> 00:27:38,555 ingrid andress coming up. It's Wednesday night. 534 00:27:38,591 --> 00:27:42,259 That means it's time to show you some of the most fascinating 535 00:27:42,294 --> 00:27:43,761 items I store in the back of my car. 536 00:27:43,796 --> 00:27:48,799 It's time for "trunk junk." [ cheers and applause ] 537 00:27:48,834 --> 00:27:50,834 all right. So this is fascinating. 538 00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:54,938 This is a lug wrench that I use to change a tire when I have a 539 00:27:54,974 --> 00:27:58,442 flat. You know why they call it a lug 540 00:27:58,477 --> 00:27:59,043 wrench? I was just asking, actually, I 541 00:27:59,078 --> 00:28:01,045 don't know. [ laughter ] 542 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,381 this is a meatball sub I forgot to eat. 543 00:28:04,417 --> 00:28:08,652 And this is, oh, this is a big bucket of allergy medicine I 544 00:28:08,688 --> 00:28:12,823 keep in my trunk just in case I have to pet something. 545 00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:16,894 >> guillermo: Stop, jimmy, stop! >> jimmy: What's up, guillermo? 546 00:28:16,929 --> 00:28:19,530 >> guillermo: This is a trunk junk intervention! 547 00:28:19,565 --> 00:28:23,600 [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: You don't need to 548 00:28:23,636 --> 00:28:26,804 keep a bucket of medicine in your trunk. 549 00:28:26,839 --> 00:28:29,106 >> jimmy: I don't? >> guillermo: No, you don't. 550 00:28:29,141 --> 00:28:33,844 You should use the my walgreens app to help with all the 551 00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:37,014 specific health needs that makes jimmy jimmy. 552 00:28:37,049 --> 00:28:39,750 >> jimmy: Oh. Can jimmy use it to order 553 00:28:39,785 --> 00:28:41,318 medicine? >> guillermo: Of course jimmy 554 00:28:41,353 --> 00:28:42,553 can. >> jimmy: Can jimmy talk to a 555 00:28:42,588 --> 00:28:47,958 farm is it, and can they have jimmy's order ready in as little 556 00:28:47,993 --> 00:28:50,494 as 30 minutes? >> guillermo: Whatever jimmy 557 00:28:50,529 --> 00:28:51,562 needs. >> jimmy: Can the app alert 558 00:28:51,597 --> 00:28:56,366 jimmy when the pollen counts are high in his area? 559 00:28:56,402 --> 00:28:57,668 >> guillermo: You bet, jimmy, look! 560 00:28:57,703 --> 00:29:01,739 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: Oh, wow. 561 00:29:01,774 --> 00:29:04,374 Thank you, guillermo. Thank you for protecting me on 562 00:29:04,410 --> 00:29:08,679 the outside and on the inside. >> guillermo: Just doing my job, 563 00:29:08,714 --> 00:29:14,618 chief. >> jimmy: I'm over here. 564 00:29:14,653 --> 00:29:16,120 >> guillermo: Oh. >> dicky: Join my walgreens for 565 00:29:16,155 --> 00:29:16,754 free today to shop, save, and stay well. 566 00:29:18,224 --> 00:29:20,958 [ cheers and applause ] ♪ 567 00:29:20,993 --> 00:29:23,761 >> jimmy: Welcome back to the show. 568 00:29:23,796 --> 00:29:24,862 Music from ingrid andress is on the way. 569 00:29:24,897 --> 00:29:28,365 Our next guest is a scottish-australian or 570 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:29,233 scotstralian actress, author and bride of borat. 571 00:29:29,268 --> 00:29:31,135 Her new movie is called "godmothered." 572 00:29:31,170 --> 00:29:40,144 you can see it on disney plus. Please say hello to isla fisher. 573 00:29:40,179 --> 00:29:41,211 [ cheers and applause ] hi, isla. 574 00:29:41,247 --> 00:29:43,514 >> hi, jimmy! >> jimmy: You look great, how 575 00:29:43,549 --> 00:29:49,453 are you doing? >> thank you, I love you call me 576 00:29:49,488 --> 00:29:50,821 bride of borat. >> jimmy: That is what you are, 577 00:29:50,856 --> 00:29:53,791 whether you like it or not. How is old borat doing? 578 00:29:53,826 --> 00:29:55,592 He took my pants. Last time he was on the show, he 579 00:29:55,628 --> 00:30:01,131 made me strip down to my underwear and he took my pants 580 00:30:01,167 --> 00:30:01,999 home. >> yeah, welcome to my life. 581 00:30:02,034 --> 00:30:03,534 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: Tomorrow night is 582 00:30:03,569 --> 00:30:06,103 hanukkah, the beginning of hanukkah, are you ready? 583 00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:07,437 Have you begun? >> yeah. 584 00:30:07,473 --> 00:30:15,846 I mean, this time of the year, it's a combo of christmas and 585 00:30:15,881 --> 00:30:17,181 hanukkah. We're lucky this year, we have 586 00:30:17,216 --> 00:30:20,417 hanukkah starting early. Sometimes when hanukkah runs 587 00:30:20,452 --> 00:30:23,687 into christmas, you know, it becomes a bit of a fire hazard. 588 00:30:23,722 --> 00:30:29,359 If the menorah takes out a christmas stocking, or you drop 589 00:30:29,395 --> 00:30:31,962 a dreidel into the christmas pudding. 590 00:30:31,997 --> 00:30:34,464 [ laughter ] this time we've got a smooth 591 00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:36,099 transition. We got our eight days of 592 00:30:36,135 --> 00:30:38,035 hanukkah, then it's christmas. >> jimmy: Then you have another 593 00:30:38,070 --> 00:30:42,940 twist, you grew up in australia where our summer is their 594 00:30:42,975 --> 00:30:46,210 winter. So their winter is summer there. 595 00:30:46,245 --> 00:30:51,148 So it's warm on christmas. >> christmas day is the biggest 596 00:30:51,183 --> 00:30:53,784 beach day of the year. It's always super hot. 597 00:30:53,819 --> 00:30:58,589 People go down for a swim. You barbecue seafood. 598 00:30:58,624 --> 00:31:00,457 >> jimmy: Wow. >> it's the opposite of the 599 00:31:00,492 --> 00:31:04,494 traditional turkey roast. We're having fun in the sun. 600 00:31:04,530 --> 00:31:07,531 >> jimmy: Then do you build a snowman on July 4th? 601 00:31:07,566 --> 00:31:11,235 How does that go? [ laughter ] 602 00:31:11,270 --> 00:31:15,339 >> no, we barbecue, beach, and beer. 603 00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:16,807 >> jimmy: That's good, all right. 604 00:31:16,842 --> 00:31:18,342 May I ask, we're talking about your husband. 605 00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:22,613 Because he's a fascinating man. I wonder what it is like to be 606 00:31:22,648 --> 00:31:26,717 married to him. When he is making a film like 607 00:31:26,752 --> 00:31:33,357 the borat subsequent movie film he just made, which is 608 00:31:33,392 --> 00:31:34,892 hilarious, how involved are you in that process and do you know 609 00:31:34,927 --> 00:31:37,394 what's going on? >> well, you know, luckily, 610 00:31:37,429 --> 00:31:41,164 jimmy, he doesn't really tell me when he's going to do the 611 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:42,432 super-dangerous stuff until he's done it. 612 00:31:42,468 --> 00:31:46,103 So, you know, it's not a normal question of, did you pick up the 613 00:31:46,138 --> 00:31:48,505 dry cleaning? What did you shoot today? 614 00:31:48,540 --> 00:31:53,710 It's like, luckily he'll say, yeah, we went to a gun rally. 615 00:31:53,746 --> 00:31:57,981 Or, I was almost arrested. But I don't really hear, you 616 00:31:58,017 --> 00:32:00,684 know -- I don't really have to worry about it. 617 00:32:00,719 --> 00:32:02,419 But I do -- I like to be involved. 618 00:32:02,454 --> 00:32:04,454 I watch all the cuts of the movie. 619 00:32:04,490 --> 00:32:05,956 >> jimmy: You do? >> I'm sure my husband would 620 00:32:05,991 --> 00:32:10,227 tell you I get too opinionated. >> jimmy: Do you? 621 00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:15,966 >> in this latest borat one, in the debutante ball scene that I 622 00:32:16,001 --> 00:32:17,167 found so funny, it's my favorite joke. 623 00:32:17,202 --> 00:32:21,004 I was so attached to it. It was in the foreign cut, it 624 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,573 was in all the cuts. Finally when it comes to the 625 00:32:23,609 --> 00:32:26,543 last minute in the edit, he takes it out. 626 00:32:26,578 --> 00:32:29,446 And I was like, babes, you've got to put this joke back in, 627 00:32:29,481 --> 00:32:32,349 this is so funny, it's my favorite joke. 628 00:32:32,384 --> 00:32:35,052 He's explaining to me for the pathos that it's important 629 00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:37,654 there's not a joke in this moment, he didn't feel the joke 630 00:32:37,690 --> 00:32:41,725 was that original. I'm like getting more and more 631 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,795 het up. I'm never going to speak to you! 632 00:32:44,830 --> 00:32:49,232 Somehow I ended up saying the phrase, I won't speak to you 633 00:32:49,268 --> 00:32:51,134 again unless you put this joke back in! 634 00:32:51,170 --> 00:32:54,037 He cut it out. And we're still married. 635 00:32:54,073 --> 00:32:56,173 >> jimmy: He did not put the joke back in? 636 00:32:56,208 --> 00:32:59,609 >> he did not put the joke in. [ laughter ] 637 00:32:59,645 --> 00:33:00,677 you know what? Looking back, he was right. 638 00:33:00,713 --> 00:33:04,314 Now that I've seen it, I think it works. 639 00:33:04,350 --> 00:33:06,316 It's smoother. It does make another joke work 640 00:33:06,352 --> 00:33:08,485 even more. You know what it's like. 641 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:09,953 >> jimmy: I see. >> sometimes you go for a 642 00:33:09,989 --> 00:33:12,489 chuckle when you need to wait and get a big laugh. 643 00:33:12,524 --> 00:33:14,291 >> jimmy: Yes, that's right. Do you ever visit on the set, or 644 00:33:14,326 --> 00:33:18,595 no? >> I did. 645 00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:23,900 I did, I remember, the last time I visited was "bruno." 646 00:33:23,936 --> 00:33:26,803 and I was like just looking forward to a happy day on set, 647 00:33:26,839 --> 00:33:29,206 brought lunch for my hubs. And I show up. 648 00:33:29,241 --> 00:33:32,309 It's not even a set, you know, it's a truck in a parking lot. 649 00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:36,813 And I get there, and over the walkie-talkie I sort of hear 650 00:33:36,849 --> 00:33:38,615 muffled voices. Then the police. 651 00:33:38,650 --> 00:33:41,785 The police are coming, get out out! 652 00:33:41,820 --> 00:33:46,023 He's going, he's gone, get security! 653 00:33:46,058 --> 00:33:50,460 He takes off, the police are after him, then we take off in 654 00:33:50,496 --> 00:33:52,729 this van -- yeah, I never went back again. 655 00:33:52,765 --> 00:33:56,600 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: So your new movie is 656 00:33:56,635 --> 00:33:59,169 "godmothered." it's a take on the fairy 657 00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:01,038 godmother. Is it about a specific 658 00:34:01,073 --> 00:34:03,673 fairytale? Or is it just about the 659 00:34:03,709 --> 00:34:05,809 character, the fairy godmother herself? 660 00:34:05,844 --> 00:34:08,879 >> it's about the fairy godmother. 661 00:34:08,914 --> 00:34:15,786 And she's this sort of inexperienced godmother played 662 00:34:15,821 --> 00:34:18,188 by jillian bell. I'm playing a single mom who is 663 00:34:18,223 --> 00:34:21,825 grieving the loss of her husband, just trying to kind of 664 00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:26,730 work in a dead-end -- a job that's not creatively 665 00:34:26,765 --> 00:34:28,231 satisfying. She comes along and helps me to 666 00:34:28,267 --> 00:34:32,302 learn that, you know, not to take all the blessings I have 667 00:34:32,337 --> 00:34:35,272 fob granted, and that happily ever after doesn't have to 668 00:34:35,307 --> 00:34:39,309 include -- I sort of teach her, happily ever after doesn't have 669 00:34:39,344 --> 00:34:43,747 to include a dress and a prince and a castle, and that actually 670 00:34:43,782 --> 00:34:46,983 it's an individual thing. And that we should be grateful 671 00:34:47,019 --> 00:34:49,853 for what we have. It's a really sweet christmas 672 00:34:49,888 --> 00:34:51,121 movie. >> jimmy: That's a lesson I've 673 00:34:51,156 --> 00:34:54,491 been trying to teach guillermo and he doesn't listen to me at 674 00:34:54,526 --> 00:34:56,893 all. I say, you don't have to go all 675 00:34:56,929 --> 00:34:58,028 out with all these frills and everything. 676 00:34:58,063 --> 00:35:02,265 Do you have a godmother? Is that a thing that goes on in 677 00:35:02,301 --> 00:35:05,102 australia, godmother, godfather? >> yeah, people do have kind 678 00:35:05,137 --> 00:35:11,942 of -- yeah people do, I think. I mean, I had a godmother, she 679 00:35:11,977 --> 00:35:14,511 gave me a ventriloquist doll when I was a kid. 680 00:35:14,546 --> 00:35:18,482 As a result, I was able to speak with my mouth closed, which 681 00:35:18,517 --> 00:35:20,050 helped in school. I was able to -- 682 00:35:20,085 --> 00:35:23,520 >> jimmy: Wow, really? >> was able to gossip with my 683 00:35:23,555 --> 00:35:25,255 mates without getting kicked out. 684 00:35:25,290 --> 00:35:28,425 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: A charli mccarthy 685 00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:29,659 doll? >> a little one, I got it when I 686 00:35:29,695 --> 00:35:32,028 was about 4. I spent most of my childhood 687 00:35:32,064 --> 00:35:34,998 talking through this doll. [ laughter ] 688 00:35:35,033 --> 00:35:39,636 >> jimmy: My godmother is my aunt chippy, who, first of all, 689 00:35:39,671 --> 00:35:43,206 she taught us to smoke. [ laughter ] 690 00:35:43,242 --> 00:35:46,042 I'm trying to think, what else? Oh, she taught us how to play 691 00:35:46,078 --> 00:35:49,846 video poker. [ laughter ] 692 00:35:49,882 --> 00:35:54,251 she was more of a scary godmother than a fairy god 693 00:35:54,286 --> 00:35:55,385 mother. But you understand. 694 00:35:55,420 --> 00:35:57,454 >> yeah, did you appoint her, or your parents chose her? 695 00:35:57,489 --> 00:36:01,258 >> jimmy: Well, I was just a baby, so I wasn't really in 696 00:36:01,293 --> 00:36:03,627 charge of anything. My mother, she's my mother's 697 00:36:03,662 --> 00:36:08,031 sister, so my mother selected aunt chippy to be my fairy -- 698 00:36:08,066 --> 00:36:10,233 not my fairy godmother. [ laughter ] 699 00:36:10,269 --> 00:36:16,673 she also wears fake eyelashes, which are the equivalent of 700 00:36:16,708 --> 00:36:17,807 wings in some ways. [ laughter ] 701 00:36:17,843 --> 00:36:20,043 >> sounds good. >> jimmy: Well, I wish you a 702 00:36:20,078 --> 00:36:23,980 happy holiday. I wish sasha a happy holiday, 703 00:36:24,016 --> 00:36:27,017 the whole family. "godmothered" is the movie. 704 00:36:27,052 --> 00:36:30,820 Isla fisher, windchill her on disney plus. 705 00:36:30,856 --> 00:36:36,159 Thanks, isla! Be right back with music from 706 00:36:36,195 --> 00:36:37,227 ingrid andress >> dicky: The "jimmy kimmel 707 00:36:37,262 --> 00:36:39,262 live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. 708 00:36:39,298 --> 00:36:43,366 The best or nothing. >> dicky: The "jimmy kimmel 709 00:36:45,804 --> 00:36:48,772 live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. 710 00:36:48,807 --> 00:36:54,010 The best or nothing. >> jimmy: I want to thank 711 00:36:54,046 --> 00:36:55,679 keegan-michael key and isla fisher, apologies to 712 00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:57,914 matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, 713 00:36:57,950 --> 00:37:02,686 this is her grammy-nominated album, "ladylike," with her 714 00:37:02,721 --> 00:37:03,853 grammy-nominated song "more hearts than mine," 715 00:37:03,889 --> 00:37:09,359 ingrid andress! [ cheers and applause ] 716 00:37:12,097 --> 00:37:18,034 ♪ I can't wait to show you where I grew up 717 00:37:18,070 --> 00:37:22,606 walk you 'round the foothills of my town ♪ 718 00:37:22,641 --> 00:37:26,843 ♪ probably feel like you've been there before 719 00:37:26,878 --> 00:37:31,481 after hearing all the stories I've been telling you ♪ 720 00:37:31,516 --> 00:37:36,319 ♪ for six months now we'll probably have 721 00:37:36,355 --> 00:37:42,726 to sleep in separate bedrooms ♪ 722 00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:46,696 ♪ pack a shirt for church because we'll go 723 00:37:46,732 --> 00:37:50,700 I'm not trying to scare you off but ♪ 724 00:37:50,736 --> 00:37:56,973 ♪ I just thought that we should talk a few things out 725 00:37:57,009 --> 00:38:03,480 before we hit the road ♪fy bring you home to mama I 726 00:38:03,515 --> 00:38:06,616 guess I better warn ya ♪ ♪ she falls in love a little 727 00:38:06,652 --> 00:38:11,288 faster than I do ♪ ♪ and my dad will 728 00:38:11,323 --> 00:38:15,792 check your tires pour you whiskey 729 00:38:15,827 --> 00:38:17,594 over ice and ♪ ♪ take you fishing 730 00:38:17,629 --> 00:38:22,866 but pretend that he don't like you ♪ 731 00:38:22,901 --> 00:38:28,872 ♪ oh, if we break up I'll be fine 732 00:38:28,907 --> 00:38:38,081 but you'll be breaking more hearts than mine ♪ 733 00:38:38,116 --> 00:38:44,187 ♪ my sister's gonna ask a million questions 734 00:38:44,222 --> 00:38:49,225 say anything she can to turn you red ♪ 735 00:38:49,261 --> 00:38:53,263 ♪ and when you meet my high school friends 736 00:38:53,298 --> 00:38:56,032 they'll buy you drinks and fill you in ♪ 737 00:38:56,068 --> 00:39:03,606 ♪ on all the crazy nights I can't outlive 738 00:39:03,642 --> 00:39:06,743 so if I bring you home to mama ♪ 739 00:39:06,778 --> 00:39:10,347 ♪ I guess I'd better warn ya she falls in love 740 00:39:10,382 --> 00:39:14,818 a little faster than I do ♪ ♪ and my dad will 741 00:39:14,853 --> 00:39:18,054 check your tires pour you whiskey 742 00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:20,390 over ice and ♪ ♪ buy you dinner 743 00:39:20,425 --> 00:39:26,096 but pretend that he don't like you ♪ 744 00:39:26,131 --> 00:39:31,334 ♪ oh, if we break up I'll be fine 745 00:39:31,370 --> 00:39:42,011 but you'll be breaking more hearts than mine ♪ 746 00:39:42,047 --> 00:39:50,854 ♪ oh oh oh ♪ 747 00:39:50,889 --> 00:39:53,556 ♪ if I bring you home to mama 748 00:39:53,592 --> 00:39:57,727 I guess I'd better warn ya ♪ 749 00:39:57,763 --> 00:40:02,132 ♪ she feels every heartache I go through 750 00:40:02,167 --> 00:40:04,100 and if my dad sees me crying ♪ 751 00:40:04,136 --> 00:40:08,171 ♪ he'll pour some whiskey over ice and 752 00:40:08,206 --> 00:40:15,378 tell a lie and say he never really liked you ♪ 753 00:40:15,414 --> 00:40:19,949 ♪ oh, if we break up I'll be fine 754 00:40:19,985 --> 00:40:27,791 but you'll be breaking more hearts than mine ♪ 755 00:40:27,826 --> 00:40:37,467 ♪ you'll be breaking more hearts than mine ♪ 756 00:40:39,571 --> 00:40:50,947 ♪ ♪