>>> FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE." I'M JIMMY.
I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
I'M ASSUMING YOU ARE AWAKE.
ON YET ANOTHER DAY OF ELECTILE
DYSFUNCTION IN WASHINGTON DC.
THIS IS DAY 13 OF
"SQUATTERGATE."
PRESIDENT DONALD IS STILL IN
DENIAL, STILL REFUSING TO
COOPERATE.
HE SPENT THE WEEKEND
RAGE-TWEETING ABOUT HOW THE
ELECTION WAS RIGGED.
BUT I FEEL LIKE HE MAY BE COMING
AROUND.
LAST NIGHT HE TWEETED THAT HE
WON THE ELECTION IN ALL CAPS.
BUT THIS MORNING HE BACKED OFF A
LITTLE BIT.
HE TWEETED THAT HE WON IN
LOWERCASE.
THAT'S AS CLOSE AS TRUMP IS
GONNA GET TO MAKING A CONCESSION
SPEECH.
HE'S LIKE A KID SLOWLY REALIZING
NOBODY'S COMING TO HIS BIRTHDAY
PARTY.
WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE GIVEN HIM
THAT DIET COKE BUTTON!
THIS HAD TO PUT A LITTLE CRINKLE
IN HIS TIN FOIL HAT.
THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND
SECURITY'S CYBERSECURITY AND
INFRASTRUCTURE SECURITY
AGENCY -- THIS IS ONE OF TRUMP'S
OWN CABINET AGENCIES, PUT OUT A
STATEMENT DEBUNKING HIS CLAIMS
OF WIDESPREAD FRAUD.
THEY WROTE, "THE NOVEMBER 3RD
ELECTION WAS THE MOST SECURE IN
AMERICAN HISTORY."
AND THEN THEY TOOK ANOTHER DIG
AT THE BOSS BABY, "WHILE WE KNOW
THERE ARE MANY UNFOUNDED CLAIMS
AND OPPORTUNITIES FOR
MISINFORMATION ABOUT THE PROCESS
OF OUR ELECTIONS, WE CAN ASSURE
YOU WE HAVE THE UTMOST
CONFIDENCE IN THE SECURITY AND
INTEGRITY OF OUR ELECTIONS, AND
YOU SHOULD, TOO."
AND HOW DID THE PRESIDENT REACT
TO THAT STATEMENT OF REASSURANCE
FROM HIS OWN GOVERNMENT AGENCY?
"MOST FRAUDULENT ELECTION IN
HISTORY!"
SO EVERYTHING'S GOING GREAT.
IF DONALD TRUMP GETS ANY MORE
EMBARRASSING, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO START CALLING HIM
DONALD JUNIOR.
I WONDER IF HE REALLY EVEN
BELIEVES ANY OF THIS GARBAGE?
HE SAYS IT WAS "RIGGED."
HE SAYS EVERYTHING IS RIGGED.
WHEN DONALD TRUMP SAYS SOMETHING
IS RIGGED, YOU CAN REST ASSURED
THAT IT PROBABLY IS NOT.
>>> WE ARE RUNNING AGAINST A
RIGGED RACE.
SOME OF THE VOTING WAS RIGGED.
THE GAME WAS RIGGED.
OUR COUNTRY IS RIGGED.
THE ECONOMY IS RIGGED.
REPUBLICAN SYSTEM IS WAS RIGGED.
HILLARY CLINTON WAS RIGGED.
THE MEDIA IS RIGGED.
THESE POLLS ARE RIGGED.
THE WHOLE DEAL IS RIGGED.
THE BANKS ARE RIGGED.
THE PROCESS IS RIGGED.
I THINK MY SIDE WAS RIGGED.
IT'S A RIGGED EVERYTHING.
THE WHOLE DEAL IS RIGGED, FOLKS.
RIGGED, RIGGED, RIGGED, RIGGED.
I CALL PLENTY OF THINGS IN THE
COUNTRY, RIGGED.
>> Jimmy: IT IS GOING TO TAKE
THE PRESIDENT SOME TIME TO
DIGEST THIS LOSS.
HERE'S HOW IT WILL GO, THESE ARE
THE TRUMP STAGES OF GRIEF IN TEN
PARTS.
FIRST UP, DENIAL.
>> WE WERE GETTING READY TO WIN
THIS ELECTION, FRANKLY WE DID
WIN THIS ELECTION.
>> Jimmy: THEN, ANGER.
>> JOE BIDEN IS A CRIMINAL, AND
HE HAS BEEN A CRIMINAL FOR A
LONG TIME.
AND YOU ARE A CRIMINAL AND THE
MEDIA FOR NOT REPORTING IT.
>> Jimmy: AFTER ANGER COMES
BLAME.
>> THIS IS A HORRIBLE THING THAT
THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT
HAS DONE TO OUR COUNTRY.
I WILL SAY IT AND I SAY IT LOUD
AND I SAY IT PROUD.
>> Jimmy: THEN DELUSION.
>> I SEE THOUSANDS OF BALLOTS.
RIGHT?
UNSOLICITED BALLOTS BEING GIVEN
OUT BY THE MILLIONS AND DUMPED
IN DUMPSTERS.
>> Jimmy: LITIGATION.
>> THERE'S TREMENDOUS LITIGATION
GOING ON.
>> Jimmy: DISCOMBOBULATION.
>> IF PEOPLE WANTED THEIR BA
BALLOTS IN, THERND HAVE GOTTEN
THEM IN FOR A LONG TIME.
>> Jimmy: MORE DELUSION.
>>
>> Jimmy: INCOHERENCE.
I CAN TELL YOU STORIES ABOUT
LADY GAGA, I KNOW A LOT OF
STORIES, LADY GAGA, AND JOHN BON
JOVI, EVERY TIME I SEE HIM HE
KISSES MY ASS.
>> Jimmy: HALLUCINATION.
>> DING, DING, DING, BONG, BONG,
BONG,
>> Jimmy: AND FINALLY,
ACCEPTANCE.
>> THIS IS CHINA'S FAULT.
>>.
>> AS CLOSES YOU CAN GET.
>> Jimmy: NOW BEND OVER AND TAKE
IT LIKE A MAN GETTING SPANKED
WITH A ROLLED-UP MAGAZINE.
IT'S JUST GOING TO TAKE TIME.
FOUR MORE YEARS AND HE'LL BE
OVER IT.
AND IT MAY TAKE HIS SUPPORTERS
LONGER THAN THAT.
THERE WAS A RALLY ON SATURDAY IN
WASHINGTON, THE "MILLION" MAGA
MARCH.
THEY WERE ABOUT 985,000 SHORT OF
A MILLION, BUT DON'T SAY THAT TO
WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY
KASEY MACARONI, WHO DID WHAT
TRUMP PRESS SECRETARIES ARE
EXPECTED TO DO.
SHE ADDED A FEW ZEROS TO IT.
"AMAZING!
MORE THAN ONE MILLION MARCHERS
FOR PRESIDENT @REALDONALDTRUMP
DESCEND ON THE SWAMP IN SUPPORT.
BEST BASE IN POLITICAL HISTORY.
WE LOVE YOU GUYS!"
EVEN SEAN SPICER WAS LIKE "THAT
NUMBER SEEMS A LITTLE HIGH."
LOCAL AUTHORITIES ESTIMATED THE
SIZE OF THE CROWD AT AROUND TEN
THOUSAND.
BUT BEAR IN MIND, IN FAIRNESS TO
KAYLEIGH, IF YOU ASK HER HOW OLD
SHE IS, SHE HOLDS UP HER FINGERS
AND SAYS "THIS MANY."
THE PRESIDENT DID NOT SPEAK AT
THE RALLY, BUT HE DID DRIVE
THROUGH THE CROWD TO GIVE A TINY
LITTLE THUMBS UP ON HIS WAY TO
THE GOLF CLUB HE WOULD NEVER
ALLOW ANY OF THE PEOPLE HE DROVE
PAST TO JOIN.
I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA TO SOLVE
THIS.
I HAVE OTHER IDEAS TO SOLVE AND
I KNOW THEY HAVE HAD NOT SOLVED
IT.
BUT HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
YOU WITH ME ON THIS GUILLERMO?
>> I'M WITH YOU.
HERE'S WHAT WE DO.
WE TELL TRUMP HE'S GOING TO
"RE-SIGN" THE PRESIDENCY.
WE HAND HIM A PIECE OF PAPER.
IT SAYS, "I, DONALD J. TRUMP
HEREBY RE-SIGN AS PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES EFFECTIVE
IMMEDIATELY."
WE GIVE HIM A BIG-FAT SHARPIE
AND LET HIM GO TO TOWN.
ONCE THAT THING IS NOTARIZED, WE
PUT HIM IN A SACK AND SHIP HIM
RIGHT BACK TO MAR-A-LAGO.
TRUMP IS DESPERATE FOR A WIN
RIGHT NOW.
HE TOOK A VICTORY LAP TODAY
AFTER THE VERY GOOD NEWS THAT
ANOTHER COVID VACCINE IS ON THE
WAY.
WRITING, "ANOTHER VACCINE JUST
ANNOUNCED.
THIS TIME BY MODERNA, 95%
EFFECTIVE.
FOR THOSE GREAT 'HISTORIANS,'
PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THESE GREAT
DISCOVERIES,WHICH WILL END THE
CHINA PLAGUE, ALL TOOK PLACE ON
MY WATCH!"
DON'T WORRY.
WE WILL MAKE SURE THAT NO ONE
EVER FORGETS WHAT TOOK PLACE ON
YOUR WATCH.
WITH THE VIRUS HITTING ALL-TIME
HIGHS, TRUMP'S NEW TOP
CORONAVIRUS ADVISOR,
SCOTT ATLAS, URGED PEOPLE IN
MICHIGAN TO "RISE UP" AGAINST
SAFETY MEASURES.
"YEAH!
DOWN WITH SAFETY!"
BUT THE FACT THAT WE HAVE TWO
VIABLE VACCINES IS GREAT NEWS.
THIS MORNING I WAS ACTUALLY
FANTASIZING ABOUT BEING ON AN
ELEVATOR WITH PEOPLE.
GUILLERMO, WHICH VACCINE ARE YOU
INTO, PFIZER OR MODERNA?
>>> PFIZER.
>> YOU LIKE PFIZER, HUH?
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE PFIZER
THAT YOU LIKE?
>> I DON'T KNOW, DEFENSE THE
FIRST ONE THAT CAME.
>> IT IS THE FIRST ONE?
>> YEAH.
>> IT'S THE ORIGINAL, IT'S LIKE
COCA-COLA AND PEPSI.
COKE'S THE REAL THING.
>> EXACTLY.
>> HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?
>> WELL, I STILL PREFER THE
FIRST ONE.
>> YOU STILL PREFER THE FIRST
ONE.
WHO'S NAME YOU CANNOT REMEMBER
NOW?
>> FASTER, PFIZER!
PFIZER!
>> THE FIRST ONE.
>> F-F-PFIZER.
>> I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION.
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO A
CARTWHEEL?
>> NO, NO.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO A
CARTWHEEL, I'M TOO FAT.
I DON'T KNOW.
>> YOU NEVER DO A FRONT
CARTWHEEL?
>> I DON'T KNOW, BUT ONE OF MY
GOOD WRITERS OVER HERE --
>> YOU ARE HAVE WRITERS?
>> YEAH.
DANIEL --
>> WAIT A MINUTE, THE WORDS YOU
SAY, ARE BEING PROVIDED TO YOU
BY WRITERS?
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> I MADE A DECISION, I MADE IT
LAST WEEKEND IT WAS REAFFIRMED
FOR ME.
I WANT TO BE -- I AM 53, AND IT
SEEMS LIKE THE RIGHT TIME.
AND YOU AND I --
>> THEN LET'S TRY IT.
YOU GO AHEAD AND GO AHEAD AND
GIVE IT A TRY.
I WANT TO LEARN.
I WANT TO GET AN OLYMPIAN TO
TEACH YOU.
>> OKAY.
I WILL GIVE IT A TRY.
>> GIVE IT A TRY.
>> ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TIME?
>> YEAH, WE HAVE TIME?
>> IT'S A CARTWHEEL, HOW LONG
CAN IT TAKE?
>> REMEMBER, I DON'T KNOW HOW.
[ BLEEP ]
THIS TIME.
>> LET'S GO OVER HERE SO I CAN
SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING.
GO AHEAD.
>> THAT WAS ACTUALLY REALLY
GOOD.
>> OH, MY GOD, THAT WAS
TERRIBLE.
>> WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
OH, TRUMP, YEAH, WHAT ELSE?
TEAM TRUMP IS 1 FOR 24 IN COURT
RIGHT NOW, WASTING OUR MONEY
TRYING DESPERATELY TO CONVINCE A
JUDGE, AT THIS POINT ANY JUDGE,
THAT THERE WAS VOTER FRAUD.
MULTIPLE CASES WERE DISMISSED
AND WITHDRAWN TODAY.
BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO EVIDENCE.
THE ODDS ARE PILING UP AGAINST
TRUMP, BUT WHEN YOU'RE THE
UNDERDOG, WHO DO YOU GO TO FOR
AN UNEXPECTED WIN?
THAT'S RIGHT, NONE OTHER THAN
RUDY.
>> EVERY BALLOT THEY COULD SEE
HAD BIDEN'S NAME ON IT.
NOBODY ELSE, NOT EVEN ANOTHER
DEMOCRAT.
WHY DOES THAT HAPPEN?
IT HAPPENS BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU
ARE BEHIND.
DOMINION NOTIFIES YOU AND YOU
CALL OFF THE COUNTING AND YOU
START DOING BALLOTS LIKE THIS.
YOU CAN'T, YOU CAN'T DO THE DOWN
TICKET.
THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE BIDEN AND NO
DOWN TICKET BECAUSE THEY HAD
ENOUGH TIME TO GET BIDEN'S NAME
IN.
"IT'S TRUE, I READ ABOUT IT ON A
JPEG ON FACEBOOK."
LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY TREATED
HIMSELF TO A NEW PINKY RING!
AND WHILE YOU MAY BE WONDERING
WHY DONALD TRUMP WOULD PUT HIS
LEGAL FATE IN THE HANDS OF THE
ONLY PERSON WHO IS MORE OUT OF
IT THAN HE IS.
THE REASON MAY BE AS SIMPLE AS
THIS COMMERCIAL THAT RUNS
OPPOSITE MYPILLOW ON FOX NEWS.
>>> LOOKING FOR A LAWYER WHO
DOESN'T GIVE A -- CALMED THE
NOTORIOUS RUDY G, RUDY GIULIANI
AND ASSOCIATES.
555 AM I A MESS?
MAYBE.
SOMETHING IS WRONG!
CALL ME AT 555- -- I WILL ANSWER
THE PHONE.
I ALWAYS ANSWER THE PHONE.
I HAVE A SCAB ON MY INCOME THAT
I KEEP PICKING AND RUDY GIULIANI
AND ASSOCIATES.
I HAVE NO ASSOCIATES THEY QUIT
WEEKS AMPTH REMEMBER THIS?
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.
CALL NOW.
>> CALL, NOW.
>> Jimmy: FUN FACT, DID YOU KNOW
RUDY GIULIANI IS THE ONLY
VAMPIRE WHO LOVES GARLIC?
HE EVEN SMELLS LIKE IT!
WHAT A CONFUSING TIME IT IS TO
BE ALIVE.
ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE A PARENT.
KIDS KNOW MORE ABOUT WHAT'S
GOING ON THAN WE THINK THEY DO.
LAST NIGHT ON "60 MINUTES,"
PRESIDENT OBAMA WAS TALKING
ABOUT TRUMP REFUSING TO CONCEDE,
HE SAID "WE WOULD NEVER ACCEPT
BEHAVIOR LIKE THAT FROM OUR OWN
KIDS IF THEY LOST."
AND THAT'S TRUE.
SO WHAT ARE THE LESSONS OUR
CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED FROM THIS
PRESIDENT KNOWN AS TRUMP?
SOME OF THEM ARE THESE.
♪ ♪
>>> CHEATING IS OKAY.
>> LIE.
ALWAYS LIE.
>> NEVER TELL THE TRUTH.
>> IF SOMEBODY DISAGREES WITH
YOU, THEY ARE A LOSER.
>> CHEAT ON YOUR STOCKS.
>> CHEAT ON YOUR TAXES.
>> BEING ATTRACTIVE AND RICH IS
MOST IMPORTANT.
>> DON'T FOLLOW THE RULES.
>> NEVER APOLOGIZE.
EVER.
>> APOLOGIES ARE FOR LOSERS.
>> DON'T HELP SICK PEOPLE.
>> DON'T HELP POOR PEOPLE.
>> NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR
ANYTHING.
BLAME EVERYONE ELSE.
>> DON'T EXERCISE.
>> STARE IN TO AN ECLIPSE.
>> FRIED CHICKEN IS GOOD FOR
YOU?
>> CALL PEOPLE NAMES.
>> SLEEPY.
>> NASTY.
>> CRAZY.
>> LAZY.
>> LOW IQ.
>> LITTLE.
>> WEIRDO.
>> UGLY.
>> LOSER.
>> POCAHONTAS.
>> CALL A WINNER A CHEATER IF
YOU LOSE.
>> DON'T LET ANYBODY TALK.
>> INTERRUPT PEOPLE.
>> PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT
ARE -- KEEP INTERRUPTING,
INTERRUPT, INTERRUPT, INTERRUPT.
>> HIRE RUDY GIULIANI.
>> AND DON'T FORGET TO
INTERRUPT.
>> HE IS AN INSPIRATION TO ALL
OF US.
>> Jimmy: WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW
FOR YOU TONIGHT.
DAVID CROSS IS WITH US.
WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM WALLOWS.
AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
RYAN PHILLIPPE.
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK. TONIGHT, A VERY FUNNY AND DARE I SAY SUBVERSIVE MAN, DAVID CROSS
IS WITH US.
THEN LATER, THEIR EP IS CALLED
"REMOTE" MUSIC FROM WALLOWS.
THIS WEEK, WE'VE GOT NEW SHOWS
WITH GOLDIE HAWN, ALISON BRIE,
ALEX WINTER.
WE'LL HAVE A VISIT FROM
PEOPLE MAGAZINE'S SEXIEST MAN
ALIVE, WHOSE IDENTITY HAS NOT
YET BEEN REVEALED.
WE'LL HAVE MUSIC FROM G-EAZY
FEATURING BLACKBEAR,
BEE-BA-DOO-BEE, AND ZAC BROWN
BAND.
AND ON THURSDAY, PRESIDENT
BARACK OBAMA.
YOU KNOW THAT GUY, RIGHT?
YOU KNOW OUR FIRST GUEST FROM
THOSE THINGS WE USED TO GO TO
CALLED "MOVIES."
HIS LATEST IS A TV SHOW.
HE PLAYS PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR
CODY HOYT IN THE NEW TV SHOW
"BIG SKY."
IT PREMIERES TOMORROW NIGHT ON
ABC.
PLEASE WELCOME RYAN PHILLIPPE.
SNET
♪ ♪
>>> PLEASE, HOW'S IT GOING?
>> IT'S GOING GOOD.
YOU KNOW, IT'S ACTUALLY NICE TO
SEE ANYONE THESE DAYS.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW, IT IS.
WHEN PEOPLE SAY NICE TO SEE YOU,
YOU CANNOT HELP BUT FEEL "YOU"
MEANS HUMANITY.
>> YEAH, YEAH, GET OUT OF THE
HOUSE.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU BEEN GETTING
OUT OF THE HOUSE OR STAYING?
>> I WAS WORKING IN VANCOUVER
DOING BIG SKY.
I WENT THROUGH THE EARLY DAYS OF
THE QUARANTINE AND STAYED IN THE
HOUSE AND DID EVERYTHING AND
THEN I NEEDED TO HIT THE ROAD,
JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: BY YOURSELF?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WHERE DID YOU GO?
>> I WENT ON A ROAD TRIP ACROSS
COUNTRY.
I'M FROM DELAWARE WHO IS HAVING
A MOMENT RIGHT NOW.
>> Jimmy: I HAVE NEWS, NEITHER
OF YOU WERE THERE ALREADY, HE
WAS THE VICE PRESIDENT BEFORE
THIS.
>> I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT I HAVE A,
I'M FROM DELAWARE.
I HAVE A SMALL BEACHHOUSE THERE
AND I KEPT THINKING ABOUT HOW
BADLY I WANTED TO BE THERE HAD.
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> AND THIS IDEA OF DRIVING
ACROSS COUNTRY IN AN ELECTRIC
VEHICLE WHICH, YOU KNOW, FOUR
YEARS AGO WAS NOT A POSSIBILITY.
THAT GOT ME SO EXCITED.
I HOPPED IN THE TESLA, AND I
ALLOWED IT TO DICTATE MY PATH.
YOU WANT TO HIT THE SUPER
CHARGERS.
IF YOU DON'T HIT THE SUPER
CHARGERS YOU WILL SIT FOR A LONG
TIME.
>> Jimmy: I FOUND OUT THE WRONG
WAY.
WE MISCALCULATED AND I TELL YOU
A SNEAKY THING THEY DO.
ON THE SUPER CHARGER, IF YOU PUT
YOUR DESTINATION IN THE CAR, IT
WILL ONLY GIVE YOU ENOUGH SUPER
CHARGE TO GET YOU TO THE
DESTINATION.
>> I KNOW, YOU ARE HOLDING YOUR
BREATH THE LAST FEW MILES AND
YOU ARE SEEING IT TICK DOWN TO
UNDER 5%.
>> Jimmy: AND THE RESULT IS YOU
END UP IN A NONSUPER CHARGER, IN
MY CASE, A PARKING LOT OF A
WALMART STORE.
>> YEAH, THEY ARE NOT ALWAYS IN
THE BEST PLACE.
>> Jimmy: IT WOULD GIVE YOU ONE
MILE EVERY 40 MINUTES, OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ARE LIKE
THIS -- IF I SEE SOMEONE'S CELL
PHONE IS NOT FULLY CHARGED, I
WILL JUST GRAB IT AND PLUG IT
IN.
>> YEAH THERE'S A TERM FOR THIS.
RANGE ANXIETY.
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
>> IT'S A TESLA DRIVER KNOWN
TERM, YOU HAVE RANGE ANXIETY.
>> Jimmy: I MAY HAVE TO BE
HOSPITALIZED FOR IT, AND I CAN'T
GET IN FOR IT.
>> I LET THE TESLA DICTATE MY
PATH.
IF I HAD TO GO OUT OF THE WAY TO
GET TO A SUPER CHARGER THAT WAS
OKAY.
TIME IS IRRELEVANT.
IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING
ANYMORE.
SO, YOU KNOW, AND ALSO, I REALLY
WANTED TO TRY OUT THE CAMPING
MODE.
DO YOU KNOW ABOUT CAMPING MODE?
>> Jimmy: I HAVE READ ABOUT IT,
YEAH.
>> SO CAMPING MODE KEEPS YOUR
CLIMATE CONTROLLED ALL NIGHT IF
YOU HAVE ENOUGH CHARGE AND YOU
CAN PUT ON NETFLIX, AT SOME
POINT IN MY JOURNEY I WAS LIKE,
I HAVE TO TRY OUT THE CAMPING
MODE.
>> Jimmy: YOU CAN PUT NETFLIX ON
IN THE CAR?
>> YEAH, YOU CURL UP IN THE
COUCH WITH BIG SCREEN.
SO, ON THE WAY ACROSS COUNTRY.
I DID STOP, I WAS DETERMINED TO
HAVE ONE NIGHT IN THE VEHICLE.
I WANTED ON TO TRY THAT OUT.
BUT I WAS REALLY TIRED AND
NEEDED TO SHOWER A COUPLE OF
TIMES AND I WENT TO THE HOLIDAY
INN, THESE WERE THE DAYS WHERE
THINGS WERE JUST OPENING UP.
SO THE GUIDELINES AND PROTOCOLS
OF CHECKING IN WERE OVER THE
TOP.
YOU WALKED IN AND EVERYTHING WAS
COVERED IN PLASTIC.
TO CHECK IN AT THE CHECK-IN
COUNTER I HAD TO YELL TO THE
WOMAN BECAUSE SHE IS BEHIND A
COUPLE OF PANES AND THE STAND
HERE THING WAS EIGHT FEET AWAY
FROM HER.
I HAD TO THROW THE CREDIT CARD
LIKE A CHINESE STAR TO GET IT TO
H
HER.
NO GO IN THE ROOM, FROM THE
REMOTE, TO BUTTONS ON THE
BATHROOM, EVERYTHING IS COVERED
IN PLASTIC.
IT WAS VERY ODD.
BUT I MADE MY WAY ACROSS
COUNTRY, AND I FIGURED OUT A WAY
TO HACK THE SELF DRIVE.
>> Jimmy: OH, ON THE AT THE TIME
LA, THE SELF DRIVING FEATURE,
DOES IT WORK?
I HAVE NOT TRIED IT.
>> I WENT HOURS WITHOUT TOUCHING
THE WHEEL.
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
>> JIMMY I TOOK OFF MY SHOES.
I HAD MULTIPLE SCREENS ON THE
WINDSHIELD SO I CAN FACETIME
WITH MY KIDS AND FRIENDS.
>> Jimmy: HOW DID IT GO?
>> IT WAS LIKE A SUPER SLOW
FIRST CLASS.
>> Jimmy: TELL ME WHAT THIS IS,
THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA TO TELL
ANYONE HOW YOU DID IT, HOW DID
YOU DO IT?
>> IT'S EASILY SEARCHABLE ON
YOUT
YOUTUBE, BUT I WILL SAY, THERE
WAS NOBODY ON THE ROAD.
HEIGHT OF THE PANDEMIC.
THE STRAIGHT HIGHS ACROSS TEXAS,
OKLAHOMA, AND I DID NOT SEE
ANYBODY FOR MILES SO I GOT SUPER
COMFORTABLE.
I WAS RECLINED.
LIKE I SAID, I WAS CHILLING.
YEAH.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU PUT A PAIR OF
GLOVES ON THE WHEEL SO IT FEELS
LIKE THERE'S HANDS THERE OR WHAT
DO YOU DO?
>> A -- A -- ADEQUATELY WEIGHTED
WATER BOTTLE DOES THE TRICK.
>> Jimmy: OH, IS THAT RIGHT?
>> YOU TUCK IT IN THE CORNER OF
THE WHEEL.
>> Jimmy: IMAGINE THAT IS HOW
YOU DIE.
IMAGINE.
YEAH, THEY FOUND AN EVIAN
BOTTLE, YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW
WHERE THEY FOUND IT.
APPARENTLY HE WAS LAYING ON HIS
STOMACH.
>> SO I REALIZE THIS WAS A
COUPLE OF DAYS IN THE JOURNEY,
I'M GETTING CLOSE TO DELAWARE, I
HAVE TO TRY OUT THE CAMPING
THIN.
SO I GO ONLINE IN A CHARGING
SESSION AND I'M LOOKING AT THE
KOA SPOTS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH.
>> AND I DIDN'T FIND ONE THAT
WAS, YOU KNOW, REASONABLY
REACHABLE WITH MY RANGE.
AGAIN.
SO, I STARTED RESEARCHING WHERE
ARE YOU ALLOWED TO SLEEP SAFELY
WHEN YOU ARE ON THE ROAD?
WALMART.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT.
I KNOW THIS.
>> WALMART IS A HAVEN FOR
DRIVERS.
ANYONE, IF YOU ARE IN DANGER OR
DRIVING A TRUCK, YOU ARE ALLOWED
TO LEGALLY PARK AND SLEEP IN A
WALMART PARKING LOT.
>> Jimmy: MOST OF THEM, YEAH,
RVs, THEY WILL LET YOU PARK IN
THE WALMART PARKING LOT.
>> YEAH, AND SO JIMMY, THAT'S
WHAT I THE DID.
I GOT TO A WALMART SOMEWHERE IN
VIRGINIA.
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> AND THEY HAD A TESLA CHARGER
AND I PUT ON CAMPING MODE AND I
CURLED UP AND I SPENT THE LAST
NIGHT OF MY JOURNEY A --
>> Jimmy: THE STARS ARE REALLY
JUST LIKE US.
IT'S REMARKABLE.
>> I'M VERY MUCH A MAN OF THE
PEOPLE.
VERY MUCH.
>> Jimmy: HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS
NOW?
>> 17, 20 AND 9.
>> Jimmy: OH, OH, SO, ARE -- ARE
YOU STILL ALLOWED TO HANG OUT
WITH THEM OR IS IT --
>> YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD HAVE
THEM ON AND ASK THEM.
NO, I THINK THEY LIKE ME.
MY SON AND I HAVE A VERY, VERY
CLOSE RELATIONSHIP AND WE DO A
LOT OF ROAD TRIPS TOGETHER.
>> Jimmy: HE IS 17?
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WHERE DO YOU GO WITH
HIM AND ARE YOU SLEEPING BEHIND
THE WHEEL WHILE --
>> NO, BY THE WAY.
DISCLAIMER I WAS THE ONLY PERSON
IN THAT VEHICLE, SO I WOULD
NEVER DO THAT.
>> Jimmy: IT'S TOO LATE FOR ANY
DISCLAIM ERS.
YOU LET US DOWN.
WE WERE ALREADY ON A BAD PATH IN
THE COUNTRY.
NOW THERE'S NO ONE LITERALLY AT
THE WHEEL ANYMORE.
>> DOESN'T THE IT FEEL LIKE
THAT?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT DOES.
YOU ENCAPSULATED THE COUNTRY
RIGHT THERE.
>> IN THE PAST FEW YEARS, DEACON
AND I HAVE GONE, WE DID A ROAD
TRIP TO JEYELLOW STONE.
WE WENT TO NORTH DAKOTA AND
YELLOW STONE AND TOKYO AND KIOTO
RECENTLY AND MOST RECENTLY FOR
HIS 17TH BIRTHDAY.
I DIDN'T TELL HIM WHERE WE WERE
GOING.
I AM LIKE, I'M GOING TO PICK YOU
UP FROM MOM'S AND GO ON A TRAND
HAVE A CELEBRATION -- I SAID WE
ARE GOING TO JOSHUA TREE AND
CONTACT ALIENS.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S THE MIDDLE OF
THE DESERT HERE IN CALIFORNIA.
>> SO I RENTED AN ALIEN FILMED
AIR BNB.
ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH DR.
STEPHEN GREER.
>> Jimmy: I AM NOT.
>> THERE'S BEEN A COUPLE OF
DOCUMENTARIES ABOUT HIM.
HE IS A UFOHOGIST, I DON'T KNOW
IF THAT IS WHERE HIS DOCTRATE
COMES FROM AND HE HAS AN APP
CALLED THE CONTACT APP.
IT'S CALLED C-5, AND THERE'S
MEANT TO BE THE STEPS THAT YOU
TAKE TO CONJURE UP INTERACTION
WITH ALIEN LIFE.
AND I HAVE SEEN VIDEOS OF PEOPLE
THAT WENT OUT WITH HIM AND
SOMETHING APPEARS IN THE SKY.
I MEAN, I HAVE SEEN IT.
DEMI LOVATO WENT OUT.
>> Jimmy: WELL, THAT SETTLES IT
FOR ME.
WAIT A MINUTE, ARE YOU SAYING
DEMI LOVATO, REALLY?
>> SO, SO, WE HE GO OUT TO
JOSHUA TREE.
>> Jimmy: LET'S GO AND DO THIS
WITH HIM BY THE WAY.
WE WILL DO CART WHEELS THE WHOLE
TIME.
>> DUDE, I WOULD GO.
YOU ME, STEPHEN GREER.
>> Jimmy: I WOULD ABSOLUTELY DO
IT.
YES.
>> I'M SURE HE WOULD BE DOWN.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU CONTACT ANY
ALIENS
ALIENS?
>> NO, WE SPENT THE DAY ROCK
CLIMBING AND I DROPPED ON HIM
THE REASON THAT WE WERE THERE.
I WAS LIKE, WE ARE GOING TO
CONTACT ALIENS.
HE WAS IN TO IT.
I THINK IT'S A FAMILY THING.
MY DAD WAS OF IN TO ALIENS AND
THE PROSPECT OF ALIEN LIFE.
>> Jimmy: DID HE EVER SEE
ANYTHING?
>> MY MOM AND HE CLAIMED THEY
DID.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S THEIR WAY OF
SAYING THEY SMOKED WEED.
>> IT WAS THE 70s.
>> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF "THE BIG
SKY," RYAN
>>> 1200 MISSING WOMEN, ALL IN THE LAST TWO YEARS. MOST OF THEM LAST SEEN IN TRUCK
STOPS.
>> THERE'S A LOT OF TRUCK STOPS
ALONG THE WAY.
>> THE CHURCH MEMBERSHIP INCLUDE
LONGHAUL TRUCKERS?
THAT HE IS A FACTION OF TRUCKERS
MIXED UP IN SEX TRAFFICKING.
>> REALLY?
>> HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT DRIVING
UP THERE?
>> TO THE CHURCH, NOW?
>> YOU GOT KIDS, RICK?
>> SAY NO MORE.
>> Jimmy: "BIG SKY" PREMIERES
TOMORROW AT 10 ON ABC.
FROM DAVID E LEE, DID --
>> PICKETT FENCES.
ON AND ON, THE GUY HAS AN
INCREDIBLE TRACK RECORD.
>> Jimmy: CAN I TELL YOU
SOMETHING, WHEN I HEARD YOU
PLAYED A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR,
THAT PLEASED ME.
IN THE '70s, AND '80s, EVERY
FOURTH ACTOR WAS A PRIVATE
INVESTORS.
YOU NAME IT.
>> TO THE EXTENT THAT I THOUGHT
ABOUT WANTING TO BE A PRIVATE
INVESTIGATOR BECAUSE OF THAT.
>> Jimmy: YOU DO NOT REALIZE
THAT YOU WILL BE SITTING ACROSS
THE STREET FROM A HOOKER'S
APARTMENT TRYING TO CATCH A
CHEATING HUSBAND ALL DAY.
>> ACTING IS BETTER.
>> Jimmy: ACTING IS REALLY
BETTER.
ALTHOUGH, YOU IN THE WALMART
PARKING LOT IS NOT FAR OFF FROM
WHAT THESE PEOPLE DO.
>> A LITTLE METHOD THERE.
>> Jimmy: I WANTED TO ASK YOU
ABOUT YOUR TWEETS.
FIRST, TELL ME WHAT'S THE
PROCESS AS FAR AS TWEETING GOES?
WILL YOU?
DO YOU HAVE ANY RULES THAT YOU
SET FOR YOURSELF?
>> I HAVE NO RULES OUTSIDE OF
TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH AND
NOT TAKING ANY OF IT TOO
SERIOUSLY.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
NOW --
>> VERY --
>> Jimmy: THAT IS CORRECT.
AND I -- SO I WANTED TO PLAY A
GAME IN WHICH YOU TELL ME
WHETHER THIS IS SOMETHING THAT
YOU TWEETED OR KANYE WEST
TWEETED.
OKAY.
HERE WE GO.
THERE'S NO EMOJI FOR A TIRE?
IS THAT RYAN OR KANYE?
>> THAT'S ME.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS RYAN.
CORRECT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> AND I'M NOT WRONG.
>> Jimmy: THERE ISN'T, HUH?
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: WEIRD, JUST WANT TO
WATCH WHALE VIDEOS AND HEAR
WHALE SOUNDS, WHAT STAGE OF
QUARANTINE IS THIS?
RYAN OR KANYE?
>> THAT IS RYAN, I LOVE WHALES.
>> Jimmy: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO
CLAP AFTER EACH ONE.
HE IS NOT REALLY ACCOMPLISHING
ANYTHING.
>> BUT I DO LOVE WHALES.
>> Jimmy: SOMETIMES I GET
EMOTIONAL OVER FONTS.
RYAN OR KANYE?
>> THAT WOULD BE MR. WEST.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS KANYE.
THAT IS CORRECT.
NOW YOU CAN CLAP.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THE ONLY
THING THE HUMANS EVER GAME ME
WAS ALL THIS BAGGAGE.
RYAN OR KANYE?
>> I THINK THAT IS BOTH OF US.
>> Jimmy: SOUNDS LIKE --
>> NO I'M GOING TO TAKE
OWNERSHIP FOR THAT.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS YOU, THAT IS
CORRECT.
I WISH I COULD RUN ACROSS A
BEACH IN TO MY OWN ARMS.
>> THAT IS KANYE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S SO KANYE.
MAN, NINJAS ARE KIND OF COOL, I
JUST DON'T KNOW ANY PERSONALLY.
>> IS THAT ME?
>> Jimmy: THAT WAS KANYE.
THAT WAS NOT YOU.
IS IT CALLED CONTENT BECAUSE
NONE OF US ARE CONTENT?
>> THAT PEARL OF WISDOM CAME
FROM RIGHT UP HERE.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, ONE MORE.
ROOM SERVICE, UGH, I HATE IT
WHEN I ORDER FRUIT AND I CAN
TASTE THE OTHER FOOD THEY CAN
CUT WITH THE SAME KNIFE, BEEF
FLAVORED PINEAPPLES.
>> I'M GOING CAN KANYE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT IS KANYE.
YOU KNOW YOURSELF WELL.
THE SHOW IS CALLED "BIG SKY," IT
PREMIERED TOMORROW NIGHT, EIGHTEE
>>> AND NOW, IT'S TIME TO FIND
OUT, WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME.
>> WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I
DID A VERY BAD INJURY WITH MY
KNEE, I SPLIT IT IN HALF AND
HAVE METAL IN IT, AND SO MY
SCHOOLMATES FROM THAT DAY ON
REFERRED TO ME AS PEG LEG OR
PEGGY SUE OR PEGGY VAN PERCY.
AS LONG AS IT HAD PEGGY IN IT
AND IT WAS
♪ ♪
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK.
OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY FUNNY
MAN.
YOU KNOW HIM FROM "ARRESTED
DEVELOPMENT," "MR. SHOW," AND
NOW AS A BUTTERFLY HUNTER WHO
GOES DEEP INTO THE FORESTS OF
THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST IN "THE
DARK DIVIDE."
IT'S AVAILABLE NOW ON VOD,
PLEASE WELCOME DAVID CROSS.
>> Jimmy: HEY, DAVID, HELLO, HOW
ARE YOU DOING?
>> GOOD, HI.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS
THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND YOU
ARE -- I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU SINCE
YOU BECAME A FATHER.
CONGRATULATIONS ON HAD THAT.
IT'S BEEN A --
>> THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S
INTENTIONAL FOR LEGAL PURPOSES.
YEAH, THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU GOING
THAT?
ARE YOU GOOD AT IT?
>> YEAH, I THINK SO.
I THINK I'M GOOD, SO FAR, SO
GOOD.
YOU KNOW, SHE IS, ON THE OTHER
SIDE OF 3-1/2, SO, SHE IS
WHATEVER, THREE MONTHS AWAY FROM
BEING FOUR.
SO, YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T SPOKEN
TO HER IN ENGLISH.
I JUST DO GIBBERISH AND SEE WHAT
THAT CREATES.
IT'S AN EXPERIMENT.
YOU KNOW, WE WILL FIND OUT IN A
COUPLE OF YEARS HOW IT WORKS.
AND --
>> Jimmy: I LIKE THAT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
NO, I AM BRINGING HER UP AS A
VERY, VERY STRICT ORTHODOX JEW,
I'M NOT, NOBODY ELSE IN THE
FAMILY IS, JUST HER.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD,
IT WOULD WORK.
IT WOULD WORK, WOULDN'T IT?
DOES SHE KNOW WHAT DAD AND MOM,
THE DO FOR A LIVING?
IS SHE AWARE OF WHAT YOU DO?
>> YES AND NO, SHE KNOWS THE THE
THINGS THAT WE DO.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE A FULL GRASP ON
IT.
I ACTUALLY, WHEN SHE WAS OH,
GOSH, I GUESS 2, 1-1/2 TO
2-YEAR-OLD.
SHE WAS ON THE TOUR BUS WITH ME,
AND SHE CAME OUT ON STAGE ONE
TIME.
I WAS AT THE MONTREAL JUST FOR
LAUGHS FESTIVAL AND I DIDN'T
KNOW SHE WAS GOING TO COME OUT.
MY WIFE ARRANGED IT.
AND I'M NOT -- I'M CLOSING MY
SET AND I'M DOING LIKE AN ENCORE
AND I HEAR PEOPLE BEHIND ME,
LIKE 2,000 PEOPLE GOING, AWE!
AND IT -- YOU KNOW, DIDN'T MAKE
ANY SENSE AND I LOOK OVER AND
SHE -- THAT'S THE I'LL NEVER
FORGET THAT MOMENT AS LONG AS I
LIVE AND SHE CAME OUT AND I HELD
HER UP AND I TRIED TO GET HER --
I HAVE ONE OF THE -- WHAT IS THE
LOONEY TUNES THING WITH THE
BULLFROG THAT SINGS AND THE GUY
DISCOVERS IT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> IT WAS LIKE THAT.
I WAS LIKE, OH, DO THE THING AND
SHE JUST STOOD THERE.
BUT IT WAS ADORABLE.
>> Jimmy: IT'S FUNNY, WHEN THE
KIDS COME OUT, YOU WANT THEM TO
NOT CRY AND TO LIKE IT BUT YOU
DON'T WANT THEM TO LIKE IT TOO.
>> NO I WANTED HERR TO CRY, THA
WAS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO GET HER
TO DO.
THERE'S BIG MONEY IN KIDS
CRYING.
YOU GO WATCH TV THE.
THERE'S TONS OF MONEY IN IT.
>> Jimmy: SO I HEARD, YES.
THE, YOUR MOVIE IS CALLED THE
DARK DIVIDE, AND I WATCHED IT
TODAY AND IT'S VERY ENJOYABLE TO
WATCH.
REALLY, AN UNUSUAL MOVIE AND
YOUR ACTING IS GREAT IN IT AND
YOU ARE ALONE FOR A LOT OF THE
MOVIE AND A LOT OF THE MOVIE YOU
ARE NOT SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL.
CAN DID THAT TAKE SOME GETTING
USED TO?
>> I MEAN, IT WAS, IT WAS KIND
OF NICE TO DO.
I WILL TELL YOU THOUGH, YOU
KNOW, THE SCENE, IT'S TOWARDS
THE BEGINNING WHERE I'M IN THE
GAS STATION AND I'M TRYING TO
GET DIRECTIONS AND BUY THE MAP?
THAT WAS ONE OF THE LAST THINGS
WE SHOT AND I WAS SO STARVED TO
JUST TALK TO SOMEBODY AND PLAY
AND IMPROVISE AND HAVE A SCENE
WITH DIALOG.
I HAD BEEN IN THE WOODS AT THAT
POINT LIKE FOR 14 DAYS.
SO IT CAME OUT IN THAT ASPECT.
I MEAN, IT WAS LIKE I WAS ON
SPEED AND JUST HYPED AND EXCITED
LIKE A LITTLE KID JUST TO TALK
TO PEOPLE.
>> Jimmy: IT'S THE WAY EVERYONE
FEELS NOW, I THINK, PROBABLY.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> WELL THE MOVIE IS CERTAINLY
THE TIMING COULD NOT HAVE BEEN
BETTER YOU KNOW, FOR A MOVIE
LIKE THIS TO COME OUT AND GIVE
PEOPLE A 90 MINUTE RESPITE FROM
THE HORRORS IN THE WORLD, YOU
KNOW, TO ACTUALLY GO OUT IN THE
WOODS.
WITH ME.
IN MY UNDERWEAR.
>> Jimmy: IT'S A RIDICULOUS
MOVIE TO EXPLAIN, NOT JUST IN
YOUR UNDERWEAR, BUT NUDE, THANK
YOU FOR THAT DAVID.
>> FULL ON NUDE, YOU CAN GET A
DIGITAL DESCRAMBLER AND SEE THE
REAL DEAL IF YOU WANT.
>> Jimmy: ONE OF THE CRAZY
THINGS AND I WATCH IT LIKE FOUR
TIMES IN A ROW TRYING TO FIGURE
OUT IF IT'S REAL OR NOT.
CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, IT DOES
APPEAR TO BE REAL, AN OWL LANDS
ON YOUR HEAD.
>> OH, YEAH, YEAH, THAT WAS
REAL.
THE OWL, WE HAD OWLWRANGELERS
CAME UP FROM GEORGIA, I DON'T
KNOW WHY YOU CANNOT GET ONE FROM
THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST.
FIRST OF ALL, A OWL IS A HEAVY
DENSE CREATURE.
>> Jimmy: INTERESTING, I WOULD
NOT GUESS THAT IT WAS HEAVY HAD.
>> IT WAS HEAVY HAND I DIDN'T
KNOW UNTIL I SHOT THE THING AND
THERE'S PADDING UNDER MY HAT,
BUT IT'S STILL, THE TALONS
REALLY DID SCRATCH ME AND CUT ME
OPEN, EVEN THOUGH THERE'S THAT
MUCH THICK OF PADDING UNDERNEATH
THE HAT.
THE OWL ALSO, IT'S AN OWL.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> AND IT DOES NOT PLAY BY OUR
RULES.
IT'S RUDE.
VERY UNPROFESSIONAL.
BUT, THEY WERE TRYING TO GET IT
TO, YOU KNOW, FLY FROM THE
BRANCH TO LAND ON MY HEAD, AND
THE WAY THEY DID THAT WAS WITH
FROZEN DEAD MICE.
SO, THE WRANGLERS ARE ABOUT, YOU
KNOW, 20 YARDS OR TEN YARDS
AWAY, SOMETHING LIKE THAT, OFF
IN THE WOODS AND THEY ARE OFF
CAMERA.
IT WAS A BIG WIDE SHOT.
AND THEY ARE THROWING FROZEN
DEAD MICE AT ME TO GET THE OWL
BUT ALSO THEY ARE TRYING TO HIT
HAD MY CHEST BUT THEY WOULD HIT
MY FACE, DEAD FROZEN MICE JUST
LIKE A LOT OF THAT.
AND THEN EVENTUALLY THE OWL --
>> Jimmy: WAE HAVE A CLIP, LET'
LOOK AT THE OWL DESCENDING AND
LANDING.
NOW, I KNOW THIS IS BASED ON A REAL GUY, AND A REAL STORY. DID THAT REALLY HAPPEN TO HIM?
>> THE OWL.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> NO, THAT IS HOLLYWOOD MAGIC,
JIMMY.
DON'T MEAN TO SPOIL IT FOR
EVERYONE.
>> Jimmy: A LITTLE FROZEN RODENT
MAGIC.
IT'S GOOD, IT'S CALLED "THE DARK
DIVIDE" ON VOD AND OTHER DIGITAL
PLATFORMS.
DAVID CROSS EVERYBODY.
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUSIC
FROM WALLOWS.
♪ ♪"JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"
CONCERT SERIES IS BROUGHT TO YOU
BY MERCEDES BENZ.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK
RYAN PHILLIPPE AND DAVID CROSS,
APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT, BUT FIRST
THEIR EP IS CALLED "REMOTE."
WITH THE SONGS, "VIRTUAL
AEROBICS" AND "ARE YOU BORED
YET," WALLOWS!
♪
♪ HEY THERE SAFE TRAVELS
READ IT I UNRAVEL
SIMPLE WORDS THAT
MIGHT KILL ME ♪
♪ LET'S SPEND THE NIGHT
DOING SOME
VIRTUAL AEROBICS
HEY WATCH MY GRAPEVINE ♪
♪ AND MY SIDE KICK
I'M NOT TOO GOOD
BUT I TRY MY BEST
WORK HARD NO MATTER ♪
♪ WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
WANT TO DRESS IN WHAT
MAKES YOU LIKE ME
I'LL PROBABLY OVERWEAR ♪
♪ THESE NIKES
I'LL CLEAN 'EM OFF
WHEN THEY GET A SCUFF
TELL ME WHEN YOU THINK ♪
♪ THEY'VE HAD ENOUGH
THERE'S NO COLOR
IN SAN FRANCISCO
YOU LAUGHED AND SAID ♪
♪ JUST LOOK AROUND YOU
BEING HERE FOR THE
FIRST TIME WITH YOU
IT LETS ME SEE IT ♪
♪ TOTALLY NEW
YEAH YOU CALLED ME
OUT LIKE THAT
LIKE THAT ♪
♪ YEAH YOU MADE
ME BLUSH LIKE THAT
LIKE THAT
ONLY BEEN HERE ONE NIGHT ♪
♪ LEAVING DOESN'T
FEEL RIGHT
WE COULD LIVE A
LIFE LIKE THAT ♪
♪ LIKE THAT
I LOVE HOW YOU
MOVE LIKE THAT
I LOVE HOW YOU ♪
♪ KISS LIKE
WHEN WE AREN'T TOGETHER
ALL OF THE WEATHER
I'LL GET TO YOUR SIDE LIKE ♪
♪ THAT LET'S SPEND THE
NIGHT DOING SOME
VIRTUAL AEROBICS
HEY, WATCH MY GRAPEVINE ♪
♪ AND MY SIDE KICK
I'M NOT TOO GOOD
BUT I TRY MY BEST
WORK HARD NO MATTER ♪
♪ WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
WANT TO DRESS IN WHAT
MAKES YOU LIKE ME
I'LL PROBABLY OVERWEAR ♪
♪ THESE NIKES
I'LL CLEAN 'EM OFF
WHEN THEY GET A SCUFF
TELL ME WHEN YOU ♪
♪ THINK THEY'VE HAD ENOUGH ♪
♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE COULD
STAY AT HOME OR
WATCH THE SUNSET
BUT I CAN'T HELP FROM ♪
♪ ASKING ARE YOU BORED YET
AND IF YOU'RE FEELING
LONELY YOU SHOULD TELL ME
BEFORE THIS ENDS UP ♪
♪ AS ANOTHER MEMORY
WILL YOU TELL THE TRUTH
SO I DON'T HAVE TO LIE
WILL YOU TELL THE TRUTH ♪
♪ SO I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ♪
♪
♪ ♪